1
00:00:00,934 --> 00:00:02,102
- Hey, y'all.
I'm Ms. Pat.
2
00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:03,403
- All rise.
3
00:00:03,403 --> 00:00:04,771
- And I know the
inside of a courtroom.
4
00:00:04,771 --> 00:00:07,474
I'm a convicted felon
with a GED.
5
00:00:07,474 --> 00:00:09,509
Now I'm sitting
on this side of the bench.
6
00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:11,277
Y'all are killing me!
7
00:00:11,277 --> 00:00:14,080
These are real cases
with real money on the line.
8
00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:16,449
And I'm bringing my old friends
to court as my jury.
9
00:00:16,449 --> 00:00:17,884
- What is this, Looney Tunes?
10
00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:19,452
- Y'all may have
started this mess,
11
00:00:19,452 --> 00:00:20,587
but I'm gonna settle it.
12
00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:23,690
- I love this courtroom!
13
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:26,393
- All rise, 'cause court
is back in session.
14
00:00:26,393 --> 00:00:28,628
[dramatic music]
15
00:00:28,628 --> 00:00:31,698
- She used to be a law breaker,
now she's a lawmaker.
16
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:34,868
All rise for
the Honorable Ms. Pat.
17
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:40,774
♪ ♪
18
00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:42,609
- Y'all can have a seat.
19
00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:45,178
Jury, I just need you to be
here and don't interrupt me.
20
00:00:45,178 --> 00:00:48,114
- I would like to
forward the motion.
21
00:00:48,114 --> 00:00:49,582
- Don't you get your Black ass
22
00:00:49,582 --> 00:00:51,017
up out of that chair again,
Karlous.
23
00:00:51,017 --> 00:00:52,585
- He's in contempt.
24
00:00:52,585 --> 00:00:53,987
- And you gonna be
in contempt
25
00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:55,422
if you don't shut your ass up.
26
00:00:57,957 --> 00:00:59,359
Bailiff, give the basics.
27
00:00:59,359 --> 00:01:02,128
- This is the case of
Leonard versus Martin.
28
00:01:02,128 --> 00:01:04,631
- Plaintiffs Taneisha
and Aleisha Leonard
29
00:01:04,631 --> 00:01:07,467
are suing their mom
for $2,500
30
00:01:07,467 --> 00:01:09,602
after they fixed her broken
down Camry.
31
00:01:09,602 --> 00:01:12,772
But after the car was fixed,
their mom junked it
32
00:01:12,772 --> 00:01:14,307
and bought another whip.
33
00:01:14,307 --> 00:01:16,743
Defendant Angela Martin
says they're to blame
34
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:18,411
for damaging both cars,
35
00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:21,314
and she's counter-suing
for $3,500.
36
00:01:21,314 --> 00:01:22,782
- You swear to tell the truth,
the whole truth
37
00:01:22,782 --> 00:01:24,384
and nothing but the truth,
so help you God?
38
00:01:24,384 --> 00:01:25,618
- Yes.
- I do.
39
00:01:25,618 --> 00:01:27,086
- So before we get
started, I just want
40
00:01:27,086 --> 00:01:28,788
to let you know
this is a jury of my peers.
41
00:01:28,788 --> 00:01:31,057
I can or cannot use them,
but they're here because
42
00:01:31,057 --> 00:01:32,992
traffic school
was closed today.
43
00:01:32,992 --> 00:01:36,362
[laughter]
44
00:01:36,362 --> 00:01:38,097
OK. Taneisha?
45
00:01:38,097 --> 00:01:40,099
- Yes.
- And this is Aleisha?
46
00:01:40,099 --> 00:01:41,468
- Yes, ma'am.
47
00:01:41,468 --> 00:01:43,102
- So, Taneisha,
tell me why we're here today.
48
00:01:43,102 --> 00:01:46,940
- I'm suing my mom for $2,500
for paying for her car repairs.
49
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:50,910
We got her Toyota Camry fixed
and she agreed to pay us back.
50
00:01:50,910 --> 00:01:52,378
- That's a lie.
- And hasn't done so.
51
00:01:52,378 --> 00:01:55,582
- What type of work was done
to this car for $2,500?
52
00:01:55,582 --> 00:01:58,017
- OK, we got her
Cadillac converter fixed.
53
00:01:58,017 --> 00:02:00,420
The car was not moving at all.
54
00:02:00,420 --> 00:02:04,257
- Only black people call it
a Cadillac converter.
55
00:02:05,258 --> 00:02:07,227
- On a Toyota!
56
00:02:07,227 --> 00:02:08,895
OK, Angela.
- Yes.
57
00:02:08,895 --> 00:02:09,896
- Tell me your side
of the story.
58
00:02:09,896 --> 00:02:11,297
- Yeah, sure, Your Honor.
59
00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:13,366
They came, "Mom, we'll help
you get your car fixed."
60
00:02:13,366 --> 00:02:14,667
I was like, OK.
61
00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:16,302
Like, they were living
with me at the time.
62
00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:18,738
So I looked at it as
my girls helping me out,
63
00:02:18,738 --> 00:02:20,440
not that I had
to pay them back.
64
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:23,176
So them asking me
for money back, what?
65
00:02:23,176 --> 00:02:24,277
I thought it was them
being nice
66
00:02:24,277 --> 00:02:25,778
because I let them
drive it around.
67
00:02:25,778 --> 00:02:27,847
- So Taneisha and Aleisha,
did y'all have a contract
68
00:02:27,847 --> 00:02:31,317
or anything to say that she
will pay you the $2,500 back?
69
00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:33,486
- We have a promissory note
that states
70
00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:34,787
she would pay us our money.
71
00:02:34,787 --> 00:02:36,022
- OK, bailiff,
give me the promissory note.
72
00:02:36,022 --> 00:02:37,557
- Your honor,
this has to be fraud.
73
00:02:37,557 --> 00:02:40,059
- Is this written
on toilet paper?
74
00:02:40,059 --> 00:02:41,494
- That's definitely
on the paper towel.
75
00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:43,863
- "I will pay back my daughters
4 fixing my car."
76
00:02:43,863 --> 00:02:46,065
- The number 4, too.
- $2,500.
77
00:02:46,065 --> 00:02:47,367
- What?
78
00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:49,168
- Mama, after these
girls got their $2,500
79
00:02:49,168 --> 00:02:51,437
together and fixed
your Toyota Camry,
80
00:02:51,437 --> 00:02:52,739
how did it run after that?
81
00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:54,941
- Your Honor,
it was not running properly.
82
00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:57,477
So bad that to the fact,
I junked the car.
83
00:02:57,477 --> 00:03:00,280
I got $450 for junking the car.
84
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:03,449
So I got a new Mercedes from my
tenderoni and I went to work,
85
00:03:03,449 --> 00:03:04,817
let them use the car.
86
00:03:04,817 --> 00:03:07,153
Within eight hours,
they had wrecked it twice.
87
00:03:07,153 --> 00:03:08,321
- What?
88
00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:10,356
- I didn't have it
to get fixed.
89
00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:12,392
And they never offered a penny.
90
00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:14,127
So I'm counter-suing
for $3,500.
91
00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:15,128
- Wow.
92
00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:16,262
- What's a tenderoni?
93
00:03:16,262 --> 00:03:20,233
- That mean
he younger than her.
94
00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:22,235
- How old is he?
- He's 38.
95
00:03:22,235 --> 00:03:23,570
- How old are you?
96
00:03:23,570 --> 00:03:24,871
- I'm 52.
97
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,339
- Sound about right to me,
Mama.
98
00:03:26,339 --> 00:03:27,640
Sound about right to me.
- [yowls]
99
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:29,709
- You better get
your groove back.
100
00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:32,345
- The only reason
tenderoni paid for the car
101
00:03:32,345 --> 00:03:33,346
'cause he ruined it.
102
00:03:33,346 --> 00:03:34,747
- On the Camry or the Mercedes?
103
00:03:34,747 --> 00:03:37,116
- On the Camry.
Busted it. Boom.
104
00:03:37,116 --> 00:03:38,451
Scratched out all the seats.
105
00:03:38,451 --> 00:03:41,621
- Oh, she got that thing on.
OK, Mama.
106
00:03:41,621 --> 00:03:44,791
She got that thing on it!
107
00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:47,660
- Did y'all's mama cheat
on y'all's stepbrother?
108
00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:49,162
- I think so.
109
00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:52,031
[laughter]
- Stepbrother.
110
00:03:52,031 --> 00:03:54,000
- No, actually,
tenderoni cheated
111
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,802
and I broke up with him
is the real reason
112
00:03:55,802 --> 00:03:56,936
that he broke the windshield.
113
00:03:56,936 --> 00:03:58,338
- So, Mama,
tell me about the wreck.
114
00:03:58,338 --> 00:04:00,707
- I was nice enough to let
them use the new Mercedes
115
00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:02,108
while I was at work.
116
00:04:02,108 --> 00:04:03,977
And they called me and told me
they hit a pothole
117
00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,378
and my airbags came out.
118
00:04:05,378 --> 00:04:07,413
What kind of pothole
make your airbags come out?
119
00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:08,815
- The ones in Atlanta.
120
00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:09,949
- Ones in Atlanta.
121
00:04:09,949 --> 00:04:11,217
- On Martin Luther King,
to be exact.
122
00:04:11,217 --> 00:04:13,453
- Thank you.
- Not only that, Your Honor,
123
00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:15,054
not even three hours later,
124
00:04:15,054 --> 00:04:18,024
they called me back and said
they hit somebody.
125
00:04:18,024 --> 00:04:19,859
- Who was driving?
- Taneisha.
126
00:04:19,859 --> 00:04:21,494
- Both times?
- Both times.
127
00:04:21,494 --> 00:04:23,529
- So y'all had two accidents
in one day?
128
00:04:23,529 --> 00:04:24,530
- What the hell was you doing?
129
00:04:24,530 --> 00:04:25,832
- Driving fast.
130
00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:26,933
- We did not see the car...
- It was raining.
131
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,201
- Up front get hit.
132
00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:29,736
- Uh-uh. Uh-uh! Hey!
133
00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:34,607
Stop telling her what to say,
Whoopi Goldberg.
134
00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:37,143
- Don't go to hell for her.
135
00:04:37,143 --> 00:04:39,445
- Do you have pictures of
your mama's car tore up?
136
00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:40,613
- Oh, yes, I have pictures.
Your Honor.
137
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:41,981
- OK, let me see the pictures.
138
00:04:41,981 --> 00:04:43,216
Mama, while you're pulling
out those pictures,
139
00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:44,717
what year is this
Mercedes Benz?
140
00:04:44,717 --> 00:04:46,019
- It's a 2006.
141
00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:49,022
- See, hey, that was
an impact all around.
142
00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:50,556
'Cause this is
on the back seat.
143
00:04:50,556 --> 00:04:52,091
This the back seat.
144
00:04:52,091 --> 00:04:54,694
Y'all was showing your ass
out there in your mama's car.
145
00:04:54,694 --> 00:04:57,130
For the airbags in the back
seat to deploy.
146
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,532
Somebody lying, Ms. Pat.
- Yeah.
147
00:04:59,532 --> 00:05:03,169
- And a Cadillac converter
replacement ain't no $2,500.
148
00:05:03,169 --> 00:05:06,039
Toyota Cadillac converter,
you get that done $700.
149
00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:07,407
- Who drove here today?
150
00:05:07,407 --> 00:05:08,841
- We drove with my mama.
151
00:05:08,841 --> 00:05:10,610
- You rode with your--
- What kind of car you got?
152
00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:12,045
- Hold up. Hold up.
153
00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:15,181
You rode to court with
your mama to sue your mama?
154
00:05:15,181 --> 00:05:16,182
- Ain't that something?
155
00:05:16,182 --> 00:05:18,785
[laughter]
156
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:25,324
- Black people bold as hell.
157
00:05:25,324 --> 00:05:26,993
- Ain't they?
158
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,428
- Well, I've heard enough.
159
00:05:28,428 --> 00:05:31,364
Y'all gave y'all mama
$2,500 for repairs
160
00:05:31,364 --> 00:05:32,632
for her Toyota Camry.
161
00:05:32,632 --> 00:05:34,100
Well, she got it fixed.
162
00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:35,902
She signed a promissory note
saying
163
00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:37,036
that she will pay it back,
164
00:05:37,036 --> 00:05:38,638
but I don't think
she remembered it.
165
00:05:38,638 --> 00:05:41,908
Angela said she let y'all
drive her Mercedes-Benz
166
00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:43,476
that her tenderoni bought,
167
00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:45,812
and y'all had two wrecks
in one day.
168
00:05:45,812 --> 00:05:48,948
And she said she don't
owe y'all anything.
169
00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:50,717
I've come to my final decision
170
00:05:50,717 --> 00:05:52,919
and I'm gonna settle this
once and for all.
171
00:05:55,254 --> 00:05:59,192
I'm ruling in favor of...
172
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,294
the defendant, Angela Martin.
173
00:06:01,294 --> 00:06:02,295
- Thank you, Your Honor.
Thank you.
174
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:03,563
- What the hell?
175
00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:05,331
- Taneisha and Aleisha,
you are ordered
176
00:06:05,331 --> 00:06:08,134
to pay your mother $1,000.
177
00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:10,503
Because you're suing for $2,500
178
00:06:10,503 --> 00:06:12,872
and you wrecked her car
for $3,500.
179
00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:15,274
So the $1,000
is the difference.
180
00:06:15,274 --> 00:06:16,609
Now just sell it.
181
00:06:16,609 --> 00:06:17,910
Get your ass out my courtroom.
182
00:06:17,910 --> 00:06:19,178
- You are dismissed.
183
00:06:19,178 --> 00:06:21,314
- Thank you, Your Honor.
- Thank you, Your Honor.
184
00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:23,082
- Don't take them home, either.
185
00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:25,651
Y'all got to catch an Uber.
186
00:06:25,651 --> 00:06:28,454
- I mean, when you're 52,
you want somebody closer to 52.
187
00:06:28,454 --> 00:06:29,756
- No, the-- no, you don't!
188
00:06:29,756 --> 00:06:30,990
- I don't like older women.
189
00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:32,992
They don't let you cuss
in the house.
190
00:06:32,992 --> 00:06:35,728
You ain't doing all that
goddamn cussing in my house.
191
00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:38,698
I don't want to hear
all that goddamn cussing.
192
00:06:38,698 --> 00:06:41,334
- My friend here, she kicked me
out in seven days.
193
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:42,735
- What did she do?
194
00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:45,738
- Big Mama had slid her hand
at the small of my back.
195
00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:46,839
- That's your spot.
196
00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:49,675
- But she don't
need to be there.
197
00:06:51,511 --> 00:06:53,113
- How y'all doing, jury?
198
00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:54,414
- I'm just so nervous.
199
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:55,749
- Why are you so nervous?
200
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,917
- I missed my monthly.
201
00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,652
- Girl, you might be pregnant.
202
00:06:59,652 --> 00:07:01,154
- No, I'm talking
about my phone bill.
203
00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:04,257
[laughter]
204
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:08,928
- Bailiff,
you ready to bailiff?
205
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:12,565
- This is the case
of Wilhite versus Henry.
206
00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:15,502
- Plaintiff Jahna Wilhite
is suing her friend Kaylo
207
00:07:15,502 --> 00:07:18,805
for $1,125,
- Oh, OK.
208
00:07:18,805 --> 00:07:20,740
- The amount of rent
she paid to live
209
00:07:20,740 --> 00:07:22,675
at Kaylo's for a month,
but was kicked
210
00:07:22,675 --> 00:07:25,044
to the curb after just a week.
211
00:07:25,044 --> 00:07:27,247
Defendant Kaylo Henry
says Jahna
212
00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:29,449
was a hot mess from day one.
213
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,618
And after the cops
had to cool her down,
214
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:34,287
Kaylo's keeping the whole
month's rent as damages.
215
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:35,755
- So help you God?
- I do.
216
00:07:35,755 --> 00:07:36,990
- So help me God.
217
00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:38,892
- Jahna, tell me why
you're here today.
218
00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:41,761
- So my name is Jahna Wilhite,
but you could call me Big Mama.
219
00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:43,163
- Oh!
- OK, Big Mama!
220
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:44,531
- OK.
221
00:07:44,531 --> 00:07:49,502
- I'm suing my friend here,
Kaylo, for $1,125.
222
00:07:49,502 --> 00:07:52,806
Now, I paid $1,500 to stay
a 30-day stay,
223
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:55,041
but she kicked me out
in seven days.
224
00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:56,342
OK?
225
00:07:56,342 --> 00:07:59,045
Yeah, all because of
a neighbor complaint.
226
00:07:59,045 --> 00:08:01,247
I would call her Karen,
but she was my color.
227
00:08:01,247 --> 00:08:03,817
- They got black Karens.
228
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,418
- I'm looking for
the rest of my money
229
00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:07,220
'cause I paid for 30 days.
230
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:10,290
- But you wasn't doing right.
231
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:12,525
- OK, let me hear what
you got to say, Ms. Kaylo.
232
00:08:12,525 --> 00:08:15,829
- I let Jahna in my home
out of the kindness
233
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,530
of my heart, Your Honor.
234
00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:20,400
This is my friend
that needed a place to stay.
235
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:23,736
And she was to come into
my home and act as an adult
236
00:08:23,736 --> 00:08:27,006
and abide by all HOA rules
and regulations.
237
00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:30,043
But she had the police
called to my house.
238
00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:31,578
And I live in an HOA community.
239
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:33,980
We don't do that kind of stuff.
240
00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:35,748
- Why did she kick you out,
Jahna?
241
00:08:35,748 --> 00:08:37,951
- To my understanding,
she kicked me out
242
00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:39,919
because of the neighbor came
and complained
243
00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:41,287
that I was making loud noise.
244
00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:43,356
Neighbor ended up
calling the police.
245
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,091
Police ended up coming in.
246
00:08:45,091 --> 00:08:46,793
Kaylo come back
in the situation,
247
00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:49,195
now she feels like I've been--
248
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:51,064
- Disrespectful.
- Disrespecting her.
249
00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:53,399
- And the community.
250
00:08:53,399 --> 00:08:56,503
- I ain't going that far.
251
00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:58,104
- What time of night was this?
252
00:08:58,104 --> 00:08:59,506
- This was nighttime.
253
00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:01,774
Probably, like, 10:00, 11:00.
254
00:09:01,774 --> 00:09:03,042
- I'm from the suburbs,
255
00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:04,010
so I would have
called the police, too.
256
00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:06,312
- We know.
- Yeah.
257
00:09:06,312 --> 00:09:08,214
- Yeah.
258
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:10,316
- Why did you move in with her
in the first place?
259
00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:12,752
- I got kicked out
of my sister's house,
260
00:09:12,752 --> 00:09:14,821
my mama's house,
my girlfriend,
261
00:09:14,821 --> 00:09:16,890
my other girlfriend.
262
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:17,891
I got kicked out
of a few places,
263
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,592
I ain't gonna lie to you, but--
264
00:09:19,592 --> 00:09:21,728
[laughter]
265
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,496
- She a serial kick-outer.
266
00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:25,598
I didn't know that.
267
00:09:25,598 --> 00:09:26,933
I didn't know that, Ms. Pat.
268
00:09:26,933 --> 00:09:28,334
If I would have known that,
I wouldn't have
269
00:09:28,334 --> 00:09:30,069
let her into my home.
270
00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:33,306
As you could tell, she part of
the LGBTQ and they communitah.
271
00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:35,208
- What?
272
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:36,976
- OK?
- Wait.
273
00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:38,111
What?
- A communitah.
274
00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:39,679
- Yeah, the communitah.
275
00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:41,180
She part of the communitah.
276
00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:42,682
- Is she for real?
277
00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:45,151
- So then I was
doing a good deed,
278
00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:47,320
but the camel that broke
the straw back
279
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:51,190
was when we was in the
kitchen cooking, right?
280
00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:55,828
And Big Mama had slid her hand
at the small of my back.
281
00:09:55,828 --> 00:09:57,297
- That's your spot!
282
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:58,998
- But she don't
need to be there.
283
00:10:01,834 --> 00:10:03,169
- What was she trying to do?
284
00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:05,371
Get you to run your
fingers through her fade?
285
00:10:05,371 --> 00:10:07,807
- Her flat top, Your Honor.
286
00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:10,009
- Got that eighth grade
prom haircut.
287
00:10:10,009 --> 00:10:12,478
- Ooh!
288
00:10:12,478 --> 00:10:14,247
- Was you trying to
eat your friend?
289
00:10:14,247 --> 00:10:17,350
[laughter]
290
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:20,820
- I'm in the business
of encouraging women.
291
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:22,155
- I never went that way.
292
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:24,791
But if I did, baby,
that little slippery suit
293
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:28,127
could slide right up in me,
baby.
294
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:31,631
She look like Kid and Play.
295
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,166
- What was the lease agreement?
296
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:34,834
- She was to pay me $1,500.
297
00:10:34,834 --> 00:10:36,336
It was gonna include
a little food
298
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,137
that I had in the house
or whatever the case.
299
00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:39,639
- She ain't never cooked.
300
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,208
- But nonetheless, what was
there, she was welcome to.
301
00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:44,544
- Except you.
- Except me!
302
00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:45,712
In bold letters.
303
00:10:49,682 --> 00:10:50,950
I'm going to let my jury
help me out.
304
00:10:50,950 --> 00:10:52,819
Carmen, give me your opinion,
- OK.
305
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:53,820
I'm sorry.
306
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,488
I'm just looking for my stud.
307
00:10:58,625 --> 00:11:00,326
- So, Kaylo, I want to know.
308
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:02,295
You had no attraction to Jahna?
309
00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:03,296
- Not at all.
310
00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:04,430
- None.
311
00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:05,898
- But it seemed like
that you seduced
312
00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:08,434
the communitah a little bit
to get your bills paid.
313
00:11:08,434 --> 00:11:10,370
- No.
No, communitah seduced me
314
00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:11,938
because I had a place to stay.
315
00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:14,841
Communitah didn't.
316
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:16,943
- All right,
I'm ready to settle it.
317
00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:21,648
Jahna, you paid a full
month's rent with your friend,
318
00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:24,984
but instead you put your hand
in the small of her back
319
00:11:24,984 --> 00:11:29,889
and she wasn't ready for that
blonde top-off you got.
320
00:11:29,889 --> 00:11:33,559
Kaylo, you took her in
after everybody put her out.
321
00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:37,530
She made your HOA
want to charge you extra.
322
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:40,400
It's time to settle this
once and for all.
323
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,702
[dramatic music]
324
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:47,306
I'm ruling in favor of...
325
00:11:47,306 --> 00:11:48,641
the plaintiff, Jahna.
326
00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:49,676
- Mm.
327
00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:56,783
- Kaylo, you're going to have
to pay her $1,125
328
00:11:56,783 --> 00:11:59,686
because she did pay
for a month's rent.
329
00:11:59,686 --> 00:12:03,523
All you had to do
was overlook that nonsense
330
00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:05,258
she was doing for 30 days.
331
00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:07,894
I hope this friendship
can get back on track.
332
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,063
And stop trying to take her
to the other side.
333
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,965
[laughter]
334
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,668
Now give your friend a hug.
335
00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:17,804
- At the top of her back,
not the small!
336
00:12:17,804 --> 00:12:21,941
- Don't you touch
the small of her back.
337
00:12:21,941 --> 00:12:23,476
Get your ass out my courtroom.
338
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:24,811
- Thank you.
339
00:12:24,811 --> 00:12:26,713
- She walked in and like,
shifted the whole--
340
00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:28,147
everybody gasped.
- Yeah.
341
00:12:28,147 --> 00:12:29,549
- She know she look good.
342
00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:31,784
She ain't no different than
Ray J.
343
00:12:31,784 --> 00:12:33,086
Only difference is,
344
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,954
don't have the money
and the hit songs.
345
00:12:34,954 --> 00:12:36,155
- But she got the outfit.
346
00:12:36,155 --> 00:12:39,025
- I only got a couple hits,
though.
347
00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:41,427
- Sir, I have never seen
nobody bring evidence
348
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:44,297
against their self to court.
349
00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:46,099
So why are you here if
you're telling on yourself?
350
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,700
- I'm not a full piece of shit.
Like--
351
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:49,335
- What's the percentage?
352
00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:50,536
- It's like 30%.
353
00:12:53,873 --> 00:12:54,874
- All right.
354
00:12:54,874 --> 00:12:55,875
How y'all doing?
355
00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:57,177
- Looking good today, Judge.
356
00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:58,278
- I was gonna tell you
the same thing.
357
00:12:58,278 --> 00:12:59,879
- You are looking
real good today.
358
00:12:59,879 --> 00:13:02,515
- You look like a 75-inch TV
fell off the back of a truck.
359
00:13:06,886 --> 00:13:08,788
Do your damn thing
and start bailiffing.
360
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:12,158
- This is the case
of Ford versus Roland.
361
00:13:12,158 --> 00:13:14,627
- Plaintiff Alicia Ford is--
362
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:15,995
- Where the hell are you going?
363
00:13:15,995 --> 00:13:17,464
You ain't never been
to court before?
364
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:18,865
- No.
365
00:13:18,865 --> 00:13:21,267
- Damn, this [bleep] went
to go sit in the audience.
366
00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:24,437
- Plaintiff Alicia Ford
is suing her cousin, Jeremy,
367
00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:27,907
for $1,428 to replace
the water heater
368
00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:29,442
she says he busted
369
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:32,645
after taking
long-ass hot showers all day.
370
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:35,715
Defendant Jeremy Roland
says the water heater was old
371
00:13:35,715 --> 00:13:38,118
and about to die anyway,
and the amount.
372
00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:42,088
Alicia wants for a new one
is making his blood boil.
373
00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:43,390
- This is going
to be interesting.
374
00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:44,624
- You swear to tell the truth,
the whole truth,
375
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:46,059
and nothing but the truth,
so help you God?
376
00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:47,394
- I do.
- I do.
377
00:13:47,394 --> 00:13:48,795
- Alicia, can you tell me
why we're here today?
378
00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:51,264
- I'm here today
to sue my cousin Jeremy
379
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:55,402
for a water heater, $1,428.
380
00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:56,936
- OK, so what happened
to the water heater?
381
00:13:56,936 --> 00:13:59,906
- He broke it taking hour,
hour and a half showers,
382
00:13:59,906 --> 00:14:01,141
three to four times a day.
383
00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:04,043
- Three to four times a day?
- Yes.
384
00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:07,080
- You sure you ain't in there
doing something else?
385
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,515
- I take two-hour showers.
386
00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:10,150
- For what?
- Well, because first off,
387
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:11,484
the room got to be
a steam room first.
388
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:12,886
Because you want
to get everything--
389
00:14:12,886 --> 00:14:15,288
- Ray J, nobody want to hear
that rich shit.
390
00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:17,123
He can't even
line up his beard.
391
00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:20,026
You think he got
a steam shower?
392
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:22,162
OK, so Jeremy, tell me
about this water heater
393
00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:24,230
that you drained dry.
394
00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:26,166
- Her water heater
was already raggedy...
395
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:27,434
- What do you mean by raggedy?
- To begin with.
396
00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:29,536
- That house was built
in 1980-something.
397
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:30,970
It had never been
replaced before.
398
00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:32,505
It had nothing to do with me.
- You know that's a lie.
399
00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:33,706
- When was it, then?
400
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:34,707
- When was the last time
your hot water--
401
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:35,708
- When was it, then?
402
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,143
- I would say, like, 2000.
403
00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:38,611
It ain't been that long.
404
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:41,481
- I mean, but the hot water
heater is 24 years old.
405
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:42,615
Y'all live together?
406
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:43,783
- We did.
407
00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:45,218
'Cause he didn't
have nowhere to stay.
408
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,953
You know, it was, like,
in between places.
409
00:14:46,953 --> 00:14:48,788
I'm like, OK,
it's a win-win situation.
410
00:14:48,788 --> 00:14:50,390
He come help me--
411
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:51,624
- Why did you need help?
412
00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:53,293
- I'm a full-time caregiver
to my mom.
413
00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:55,028
- OK well,
that is a win-win situation.
414
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:57,363
So tell me, did he admit that
he broke the hot water heater?
415
00:14:57,363 --> 00:14:58,565
- He did.
416
00:14:58,565 --> 00:14:59,632
- Did you offer
to fix the water heater?
417
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:00,733
- Yes, ma'am.
- OK.
418
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:01,768
- Honestly, 'cause I mean,
419
00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:03,103
I'm not a full piece of shit.
420
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:05,004
Like, I owe her.
421
00:15:05,004 --> 00:15:06,306
- What's the percentage?
422
00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:07,841
- It's, like, 30%.
423
00:15:07,841 --> 00:15:09,876
OK?
424
00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:11,678
- All right.
- But she couldn't wait.
425
00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:13,213
She could not boil water
one more day.
426
00:15:13,213 --> 00:15:16,015
- Ms. Pat, I took hoe baths
for two weeks, bruh.
427
00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:17,951
And he talking about, I could
have waited another day.
428
00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:19,552
Like, if you ain't never
had to do that,
429
00:15:19,552 --> 00:15:21,321
boil the water on the stove and
then carry it down the hall.
430
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:24,324
And you got to put the cold
water in there to equal it out.
431
00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:25,825
- I had to do that.
432
00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:27,460
If you wait too long,
by the time
433
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:28,928
you get in the tub,
all the water cold.
434
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,263
- All the water cold.
435
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:31,464
- Do you have any proof
that he said
436
00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:32,465
he was going to pay for it.
437
00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:34,067
- He does.
438
00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:36,503
- So, Jeremy, you text,
"So I was thinking
439
00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:37,537
"I would pay for the
water heater
440
00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:39,038
since I'm working again."
441
00:15:39,038 --> 00:15:41,774
"Paying for the water heater
is the least I can do.
442
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,643
Love you cuz."
- Least.
443
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,879
- Sir, I have never seen
nobody bring evidence
444
00:15:45,879 --> 00:15:47,146
against their self to court.
445
00:15:47,146 --> 00:15:50,116
[laughter]
446
00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:55,956
- Plaintiff Alicia Ford is
suing cousin Jeremy for $1,428
447
00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:57,357
for a busted water heater.
448
00:15:57,357 --> 00:15:58,859
But Jeremy says that
449
00:15:58,859 --> 00:16:01,194
she should have waited a day
for him to fix it,
450
00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:03,130
so he's not
shelling out a drop.
451
00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:05,799
Ms. Pat is about
to flush this out.
452
00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:08,001
- So, Jeremy, you text,
"So I was thinking
453
00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:09,136
"I would pay
for the water heater
454
00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:10,604
since I'm working again."
455
00:16:10,604 --> 00:16:12,839
Sir, I have never seen
nobody bring evidence
456
00:16:12,839 --> 00:16:14,875
against their self to court.
457
00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:19,379
So why are you here if
you telling on yourself?
458
00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:21,014
- Because I'm not paying $1,400
459
00:16:21,014 --> 00:16:22,349
when it could have been done
cheaper.
460
00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:24,317
I told her my dude could
do it for, like, $50.
461
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:26,987
You know what I mean?
- If that.
462
00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:30,123
- He actually claimed he
was gonna get Crackhead Joe
463
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:31,491
or somebody to fix it.
464
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:33,226
- Crackhead Joe?
465
00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:34,661
- Joe?
466
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,163
- How do you expect
this lady to let you
467
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:38,765
put hot water heater in
her house by a Crackhead Joe?
468
00:16:38,765 --> 00:16:39,966
My sister smoked crack.
469
00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:42,736
She can't put in
no hot water heater.
470
00:16:42,736 --> 00:16:44,704
- You sold crack.
You know they can.
471
00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:48,074
- You don't know shit about me.
472
00:16:48,074 --> 00:16:49,176
- Period.
473
00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:50,844
- So did he get him to fix it?
474
00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:52,179
- No.
475
00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:54,080
- Alicia, you should not
have gave him the keys.
476
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:55,449
- Uh-uh!
477
00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:56,416
Y'all ain't gonna act like
I don't do nothing.
478
00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:57,584
No, I cook for her every day.
479
00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:59,085
I will help her mom.
I do do stuff.
480
00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:00,654
- Where you work at?
- I do ride share,
481
00:17:00,654 --> 00:17:02,389
which is why
I can stay and help her.
482
00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:04,324
- He ain't even got a car!
483
00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:05,759
So how you gonna go to work
with no car?
484
00:17:05,759 --> 00:17:06,993
- I do have a car.
485
00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:08,628
- His car is broke down.
486
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:09,863
- Right now.
487
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:10,964
- Let me ask you this.
488
00:17:10,964 --> 00:17:12,032
Did he help more
when he had a car?
489
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:13,266
- He did.
490
00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:14,901
He actually grocery shopped
every day.
491
00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:17,704
He picked my son up, take him
to track practice, basketball,
492
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:19,239
football, stuff like that.
493
00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:20,240
- Wow.
494
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:21,441
- OK, come on, Chris.
495
00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:22,509
Tell me what you're thinking.
496
00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:23,810
- He agreed to pay for it.
497
00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:24,845
You got to pay for it.
498
00:17:24,845 --> 00:17:26,179
It's in the text messages.
499
00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:27,914
- The water heater
was 24 years old.
500
00:17:27,914 --> 00:17:29,850
It was already gonna break.
501
00:17:29,850 --> 00:17:30,984
Fix that shit.
502
00:17:30,984 --> 00:17:33,653
All y'all need to
fix it together.
503
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:35,088
- All right.
504
00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:37,424
So with that said,
I've come to my final decision.
505
00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:40,193
And I'm gonna settle this
once and for all.
506
00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:42,496
[dramatic music]
507
00:17:42,496 --> 00:17:46,666
I'm ruling in favor of...
508
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:47,968
the plaintiff
509
00:17:47,968 --> 00:17:51,638
for the full amount of $1,428.
510
00:17:51,638 --> 00:17:53,740
[applause]
511
00:17:55,141 --> 00:17:58,311
Jeremy, since you helped
so much when you had a car,
512
00:17:58,311 --> 00:18:01,348
I'm going to give you $1,000
513
00:18:01,348 --> 00:18:04,251
to help you get your car fixed.
514
00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:05,719
- Thank you, Ms. Pat.
515
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:10,056
- I'm happy for him.
516
00:18:10,056 --> 00:18:12,225
- That's why
she's Judge Ms. Pat.
517
00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:14,127
That's why.
518
00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:15,295
- Thank you, Ms. Pat.
519
00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:16,396
- Why are you so emotional?
520
00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:17,864
How hard has it been for you?
521
00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:19,533
- I think I'm more emotional
because you helped him.
522
00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:20,901
'Cause he do try.
523
00:18:20,901 --> 00:18:22,736
And he's in school
and I love Jeremy to death.
524
00:18:22,736 --> 00:18:24,137
I do. That's my cousin.
525
00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:26,239
- And Jeremy, I can tell,
you really wanted to help.
526
00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:27,240
- And still do.
527
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:28,708
I'll tell you, I love my aunt.
528
00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:31,044
I'm sorry. (VOICE BREAKING)
I love my aunt so much.
529
00:18:31,044 --> 00:18:34,347
I do. I love my aunt to death.
530
00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:35,916
I love her to death.
- I can tell.
531
00:18:35,916 --> 00:18:37,984
And sometimes you got to
rub your pennies together
532
00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:39,219
and make it in this time.
533
00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:41,688
And I hope me helping you
with the car
534
00:18:41,688 --> 00:18:44,591
bring y'all back together as
a family and work things out.
535
00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:45,725
- Yes, ma'am.
536
00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:47,727
- Can I see y'all hug?
- We will.
537
00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:48,728
- I do love you.
538
00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:51,665
[applause]
539
00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:55,669
- Now get your ass out of here.
540
00:18:55,669 --> 00:18:57,404
I just settled it.
541
00:18:57,404 --> 00:18:58,538
- Thank you, Ms. Pat.
I love y'all.
542
00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:00,006
- Ray J, you behave.
- Thank you.
543
00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:01,007
- Maddy, love you.
544
00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:02,175
- Love you too, baby.
545
00:19:02,175 --> 00:19:03,543
- Life is too short
to be fighting
546
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:04,811
over a hot water heater.
547
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,179
One day you're going to die,
548
00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:08,148
and everything that you
thought was of value,
549
00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:10,216
somebody is gonna
throw it out the door.
550
00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:12,252
Why can't we just come together
and love each other?
551
00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:13,453
- That's deep.
552
00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:14,821
- You know,
I already told my kids,
553
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,356
I'm gonna put on my headstone,
"Get the [bleep]
554
00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:18,758
away from my grave.
I'm sleeping."
555
00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,260
Come up here
with that Earthly shit.
556
00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:21,394
I'm resting.
557
00:19:23,063 --> 00:19:24,364
- Next time on
"Ms. Pat Settles It."
558
00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:26,133
- I was reviewing the burger,
just tasting it.
559
00:19:26,133 --> 00:19:29,536
Next thing you know--
- Oh!
560
00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:32,673
- You make burgers so good
it knock big bitches out?
561
00:19:32,673 --> 00:19:35,209
- I wanted her to show up
looking like Kelly Rowland.
562
00:19:35,209 --> 00:19:37,544
- What Kelly Rowland did
you show up looking like?
563
00:19:37,544 --> 00:19:39,780
- Aw, hell no!
You look like a--
564
00:19:39,780 --> 00:19:41,148
- Stop!
565
00:19:41,148 --> 00:19:44,218
- I'm here, Your Honor,
suing for my iPhone 14
566
00:19:44,218 --> 00:19:45,986
that she's broken.
567
00:19:45,986 --> 00:19:47,788
- And how many phones
she done broke?
568
00:19:47,788 --> 00:19:49,289
- This this third one.
- What?
569
00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:51,625
- Oh, three phones?
Come on, now, Sideshow Bob.
570
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:54,061
You can't be doing--
[laughter]