1
00:00:01,067 --> 00:00:02,202
- You ain't never met
a judge like me.
2
00:00:02,202 --> 00:00:03,636
- Your Honor, Your Honor!
3
00:00:03,636 --> 00:00:06,039
- Shut the hell up, and let me
get this thing together.
4
00:00:06,039 --> 00:00:07,741
Hey, y'all.
I'm Ms. Pat.
5
00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:10,543
I know the inside
of a courtroom.
6
00:00:10,543 --> 00:00:12,479
I went to jail
for selling cocaine.
7
00:00:12,479 --> 00:00:15,215
Now here I am, sitting
on this side of the bench.
8
00:00:15,215 --> 00:00:16,316
- Put my faith in your hands.
9
00:00:16,316 --> 00:00:17,751
- I ain't God.
I don't love you.
10
00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:19,285
These are real cases
11
00:00:19,285 --> 00:00:21,121
with real money on the line.
12
00:00:21,121 --> 00:00:22,522
What you do with the $5,000?
13
00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:23,990
- I-I'll let you know.
14
00:00:23,990 --> 00:00:25,525
- Well, I'm here.
Let me know.
15
00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:26,826
- Let's just wrap this up
16
00:00:26,826 --> 00:00:28,228
'cause I'm getting
very irritated.
17
00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:29,696
- You keep running your mouth,
18
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:31,131
you ain't gonna get nothing.
19
00:00:31,131 --> 00:00:32,832
Court is now in session.
20
00:00:32,832 --> 00:00:34,434
Baby, don't do me, do Jesus,
21
00:00:34,434 --> 00:00:37,003
'cause he got
more patience with you, okay?
22
00:00:37,003 --> 00:00:39,305
[gavel bangs]
23
00:00:39,305 --> 00:00:41,141
- In this courtroom,
we keep it real--
24
00:00:41,141 --> 00:00:44,144
real people, real cases,
25
00:00:44,144 --> 00:00:45,678
and a fake judge.
[laughter]
26
00:00:45,678 --> 00:00:47,547
Two out of three ain't bad.
27
00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:49,916
All rise for Ms. Pat.
28
00:00:49,916 --> 00:00:52,585
[intriguing music]
29
00:00:52,585 --> 00:00:53,720
- Y'all can have a seat.
30
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,889
Hey, how y'all doing today?
31
00:00:57,857 --> 00:00:59,459
How you doing today, Mona?
You up?
32
00:00:59,459 --> 00:01:01,261
- I'm up. I'm here.
- Hold your head up.
33
00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:02,695
You always act like
your head heavy, Mona.
34
00:01:02,695 --> 00:01:03,930
- It is, baby.
35
00:01:03,930 --> 00:01:05,064
It look heavy 'cause it is.
[laughter]
36
00:01:05,064 --> 00:01:06,366
It is for real.
37
00:01:06,366 --> 00:01:07,901
- All right, Bailiff,
get to bailiff-ing.
38
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:11,204
- This is the case
of Jacobs versus Smith.
39
00:01:11,204 --> 00:01:14,007
- Plaintiff Delita Jacobs
is suing her best friend, Eve,
40
00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:16,543
for $4,500 for not
paying her back
41
00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:18,978
for their Jamaican vacation
Eve ruined
42
00:01:18,978 --> 00:01:21,815
by getting in a car accident
Delita had to pay for.
43
00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:25,185
Defendant Eve Smith says that
she doesn't know why Delita
44
00:01:25,185 --> 00:01:27,053
is making a big deal
out of nothing
45
00:01:27,053 --> 00:01:30,290
when she pays for things
for Delita all the time.
46
00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:32,959
- This DeRay case right here.
- [laughs]
47
00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:35,395
♪ ♪
48
00:01:35,395 --> 00:01:36,596
- Thank you.
49
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:38,398
- OK, ladies,
before we get started,
50
00:01:38,398 --> 00:01:39,999
I just want to let y'all know,
this is a jury
51
00:01:39,999 --> 00:01:41,901
of my peers, OK?
52
00:01:41,901 --> 00:01:43,036
Don't pay them any attention.
53
00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:44,504
Stop smiling
at the light-skinned one
54
00:01:44,504 --> 00:01:46,206
'cause he'll get you.
55
00:01:46,206 --> 00:01:48,374
[laughter]
56
00:01:48,374 --> 00:01:51,511
All right, Delita,
tell us why we're here today.
57
00:01:51,511 --> 00:01:55,281
- I'm suing my best friend
of 20 years for $4,500.
58
00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:56,316
It was my birthday.
59
00:01:56,316 --> 00:01:58,117
I wanted to do something fun.
60
00:01:58,117 --> 00:02:00,320
I had a girls' trip
to Jamaica to a reggae fest.
61
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:03,490
We had agreed that I was
gonna finance everything.
62
00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:04,624
I got credit.
I'll foot the bill.
63
00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:06,626
When we get back,
make the payments,
64
00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:08,061
and she didn't pay me back.
65
00:02:08,061 --> 00:02:09,295
I want my money.
66
00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:10,964
I want my $4,500.
67
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,799
- Eve, why you didn't
pay the girl?
68
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,934
- I don't feel like I have
to pay her back anything.
69
00:02:14,934 --> 00:02:16,936
- Oh!
- Damn.
70
00:02:16,936 --> 00:02:18,438
- Well, all right.
- This is Black court.
71
00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:19,439
[laughter]
- Yeah.
72
00:02:19,439 --> 00:02:20,673
- Black mama, that's it.
73
00:02:20,673 --> 00:02:22,008
- So is this how you treat
your homey,
74
00:02:22,008 --> 00:02:23,810
your best friend,
your childhood friend?
75
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:24,944
- What I'm saying
is that there are plenty
76
00:02:24,944 --> 00:02:27,113
of times that I paid
and I didn't
77
00:02:27,113 --> 00:02:29,015
stress her for the money back.
78
00:02:29,015 --> 00:02:30,416
I didn't even ask her for it.
79
00:02:30,416 --> 00:02:31,784
I didn't even be like,
yo, you gonna pay me back?
80
00:02:31,784 --> 00:02:32,919
I didn't do that.
81
00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:35,688
- You ever took her
on vacation?
82
00:02:35,688 --> 00:02:37,690
[laughter]
83
00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:38,992
All right,
where did things start
84
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,927
to go wrong on this girl trip?
85
00:02:40,927 --> 00:02:42,395
- Immediately.
86
00:02:42,395 --> 00:02:45,098
Eve didn't even make the first
part of the trip on time.
87
00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:47,300
And then to top it all off,
she gets in an accident
88
00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:49,068
which I had to pay for.
89
00:02:49,068 --> 00:02:51,237
- What happened
with the car accident?
90
00:02:51,237 --> 00:02:54,007
- So we were driving on Sunday.
91
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,175
Eve was like, let me drive.
OK, cool.
92
00:02:56,175 --> 00:02:57,343
So we're in traffic,
and then she's,
93
00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:58,444
like, dipping and dodging.
94
00:02:58,444 --> 00:02:59,679
You ain't getting
in front of me.
95
00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:01,047
Like, I'll do this.
96
00:03:01,047 --> 00:03:03,383
Next thing you hear,
oh, yeah, that's my song,
97
00:03:03,383 --> 00:03:04,417
da-da-da-da-da.
98
00:03:04,417 --> 00:03:06,185
Boom.
99
00:03:06,185 --> 00:03:07,787
She rear-end
somebody in traffic.
100
00:03:07,787 --> 00:03:09,589
How you rear-end
people in traffic?
101
00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:11,157
- Well, like this.
- In traffic.
102
00:03:11,157 --> 00:03:12,525
- You said she went like this,
- Bumper-to-bumper traffic.
103
00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:13,893
- I don't know who drives
and does the dip, but--
104
00:03:13,893 --> 00:03:15,361
- That's exactly right.
She was bogling too hard.
105
00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:17,897
- No, she talks a lot, OK?
106
00:03:17,897 --> 00:03:20,567
While I was driving,
she distracted me.
107
00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:24,070
And the car in front of me
did an abrupt stop,
108
00:03:24,070 --> 00:03:25,972
and then I hit it.
109
00:03:25,972 --> 00:03:26,973
That's it.
110
00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:28,708
- I had a whole video.
111
00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:29,809
- It's a video?
112
00:03:29,809 --> 00:03:32,512
- There she go.
113
00:03:32,512 --> 00:03:34,814
- Y'all supposed to be
listening to reggae.
114
00:03:34,814 --> 00:03:36,349
- That's the problem.
115
00:03:36,349 --> 00:03:37,717
- Oh, shit.
116
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:38,818
- Oh!
117
00:03:38,818 --> 00:03:41,054
[laughter]
118
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:42,088
- What's that?
- That's the bumper.
119
00:03:42,088 --> 00:03:43,690
- That's the bumper.
120
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:45,258
- Oh, Lord, you couldn't talk
your way out of this accident.
121
00:03:45,258 --> 00:03:47,460
Did you get out?
Did they see the body?
122
00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:49,028
- Well, he was with
his girlfriend, so--
123
00:03:49,028 --> 00:03:51,965
- So they do all type
of things nowadays.
124
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:53,166
- I can't believe
them Jamaicans
125
00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:55,101
didn't come after y'all ass.
- Right?
126
00:03:55,101 --> 00:03:56,669
As soon as we get out
the car, mind you,
127
00:03:56,669 --> 00:03:58,838
the girl was like,
my neck and my back, all that.
128
00:03:58,838 --> 00:04:01,174
Now we get in the party,
she partying,
129
00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:02,642
smoking hookah with them,
everything.
130
00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:03,776
We run into some people--
- Wait a minute.
131
00:04:03,776 --> 00:04:05,011
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
132
00:04:05,011 --> 00:04:06,980
You partied
with these people you hit?
133
00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:09,248
- Eve started
partying with them.
134
00:04:09,248 --> 00:04:10,850
- I mean, what do you
have to say about this?
135
00:04:10,850 --> 00:04:12,752
You wrecked the car that your
friend put her credit card on.
136
00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:15,054
You don't pay
for your vacation.
137
00:04:15,054 --> 00:04:17,523
Then when you get in a wreck,
you damn go and party
138
00:04:17,523 --> 00:04:18,825
with the people who you hit.
139
00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:19,993
[laughter]
140
00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:21,494
Oh, you just gonna smile?
141
00:04:21,494 --> 00:04:22,829
Did they have insurance?
142
00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:24,631
- Nobody in Jamaica
want to use insurance.
143
00:04:24,631 --> 00:04:25,865
- Mm-mm.
- They don't play that.
144
00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:27,166
They're like, fix my car.
145
00:04:27,166 --> 00:04:29,035
Give me money right now.
Like they don't play.
146
00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:30,336
- Yeah.
- That's true.
147
00:04:30,336 --> 00:04:32,905
- And you can't leave
Jamaica with a debt.
148
00:04:32,905 --> 00:04:35,074
- So why didn't you just
make her pay before she got
149
00:04:35,074 --> 00:04:36,242
back on the plane with you?
150
00:04:36,242 --> 00:04:37,877
- How is she gonna pay?
151
00:04:37,877 --> 00:04:39,879
- Eve, do you work?
- I'm retired.
152
00:04:39,879 --> 00:04:41,981
- From what, stripping?
- Military.
153
00:04:41,981 --> 00:04:43,549
Army.
- Oh, the army.
154
00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:45,418
- Oh, OK, well, no wonder--
- Thank you for your service.
155
00:04:45,418 --> 00:04:46,986
- You're welcome.
156
00:04:46,986 --> 00:04:48,821
- Shut your ass up.
157
00:04:48,821 --> 00:04:52,625
Why are you taking
a broke-ass friend on vacation?
158
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,594
- Well, the problem is,
a broke friend be fun as hell.
159
00:04:54,594 --> 00:04:56,729
They ain't got nothing to lose.
They're like, let's do it.
160
00:04:56,729 --> 00:04:58,498
- No, you know what,
Ms. Pat?
161
00:04:58,498 --> 00:05:00,000
Like, bottom line,
Eve's been my girl 20 years.
162
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,067
Like, bottom line,
Eve's been my girl 20 years.
163
00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:03,369
- I don't care if she been
your girl since the first Eve
164
00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:05,805
when the real Eve
made us have our cycle.
165
00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:07,073
She got no damn money.
166
00:05:07,073 --> 00:05:08,574
[laughter]
167
00:05:08,574 --> 00:05:11,144
- Oh, my God.
- Come on, jury.
168
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,579
- People only do to you
what you allow them to do.
169
00:05:13,579 --> 00:05:15,548
Like, so if you being used,
at some point,
170
00:05:15,548 --> 00:05:16,916
you have to stand up
for yourself
171
00:05:16,916 --> 00:05:18,284
and stop being--
you know, using them.
172
00:05:18,284 --> 00:05:20,653
And, Eve, do better, Eve.
173
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,021
- I have a heart.
174
00:05:22,021 --> 00:05:23,723
- Yeah, in your [bleep].
175
00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:26,626
[laughter]
176
00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:29,862
I've heard everything
I needed to hear.
177
00:05:29,862 --> 00:05:31,464
You knew your friend
didn't have no money
178
00:05:31,464 --> 00:05:32,965
before you paid for this trip.
179
00:05:32,965 --> 00:05:35,201
And you, Eve,
what you did was not right.
180
00:05:35,201 --> 00:05:37,904
You could have made monthly
payment and pay her back.
181
00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:40,273
Even if you didn't have it all,
you could have gave her $50
182
00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:42,375
a month if you really cared.
183
00:05:42,375 --> 00:05:43,710
- She don't have it.
184
00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:45,478
She don't have it.
185
00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:46,813
- And DC gonna pay.
186
00:05:46,813 --> 00:05:48,114
- For sure.
187
00:05:48,114 --> 00:05:51,017
[laughter]
188
00:05:51,951 --> 00:05:53,753
- Ms. Pat, he still
got a checkbook.
189
00:05:53,753 --> 00:05:55,154
That's how he's paying
the bills.
190
00:05:55,154 --> 00:05:57,790
He got--
- Ah, that wasn't no checkbook.
191
00:05:57,790 --> 00:05:59,292
- Slapping cash.
192
00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:00,560
Cash you slap down.
193
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:01,527
- I need you to smile
a bit harder, Eve.
194
00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:02,762
Somebody got your back, girl.
195
00:06:02,762 --> 00:06:03,830
- I see him.
196
00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:05,898
- We got to help
these soldiers.
197
00:06:05,898 --> 00:06:07,900
- I'm gonna
settle this right now.
198
00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:09,769
[tense music]
199
00:06:09,769 --> 00:06:11,370
I'm ruling in favor of...
200
00:06:11,370 --> 00:06:12,972
♪ ♪
201
00:06:12,972 --> 00:06:14,340
The plaintiff, Delita...
- Yes.
202
00:06:14,340 --> 00:06:16,209
- In the amount of $4,500.
203
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:17,643
- Yes.
204
00:06:17,643 --> 00:06:20,079
- It's not her responsibility
to take you on vacation.
205
00:06:20,079 --> 00:06:22,949
[gavel bangs]
- I object. Can I object?
206
00:06:22,949 --> 00:06:24,617
[laughter]
207
00:06:24,617 --> 00:06:27,086
- Let me have that money, DC.
[laughter]
208
00:06:27,086 --> 00:06:28,988
- You are dismissed.
209
00:06:28,988 --> 00:06:31,124
All right, young ladies.
210
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:32,792
- Come on, Bailiff,
the next case before I
211
00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:34,560
have to go to Jamaica.
212
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:35,762
Let me see the hair.
213
00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:36,996
- She said it was trash,
214
00:06:36,996 --> 00:06:38,698
and that's why
it's in a trash bag.
215
00:06:38,698 --> 00:06:40,533
- Yeah, and that's how
he gave it to me too.
216
00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:41,768
- Oh, shit.
- Ooh.
217
00:06:41,768 --> 00:06:43,469
- Oh.
- [laughs]
218
00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:47,741
- All right, jury,
we're not here to party.
219
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,377
We're here to judge
these fools, OK?
220
00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:52,846
So let's get the party started.
221
00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:54,981
Come on, bailiff,
let's do the dang thing.
222
00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:59,252
- This is the case
of Thomas versus Thomas.
223
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,254
- Plaintiff Kelvin Thomas
is suing his ex-wife,
224
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,022
Wysika, for $1,200.
225
00:07:03,022 --> 00:07:05,692
He claims he provided her
a business opportunity
226
00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:08,294
to sell hair on his behalf
at her salon
227
00:07:08,294 --> 00:07:10,463
and she failed to sell them.
228
00:07:10,463 --> 00:07:12,832
Defendant Wysika Thomas
claims that the hair
229
00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:16,302
is "unbe-weave-ably" bad
and unsellable.
230
00:07:16,302 --> 00:07:19,472
She wants Ms. Pat
to dismiss the case.
231
00:07:19,472 --> 00:07:21,107
- So, Kelvin, why are you here?
232
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:24,577
- I'm suing my ex-wife
for $1,200.
233
00:07:24,577 --> 00:07:28,381
I brought a product, which
is hair, for her to sell,
234
00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:29,582
and she never paid me back.
235
00:07:29,582 --> 00:07:32,118
- Wysika?
- Yes, ma'am.
236
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,420
- I can't believe I got
that right on the first try.
237
00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:35,188
- Oh, you did.
[laughter]
238
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:36,523
- Tell me why he
brought you here today.
239
00:07:36,523 --> 00:07:38,491
- My ex-husband
told me that he had
240
00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:40,593
some hair for me to sell.
241
00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:42,162
I didn't look at the hair.
242
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:44,931
He just told me that he had
a business opportunity for me.
243
00:07:44,931 --> 00:07:47,066
He gave me, like,
three bags of hair.
244
00:07:47,066 --> 00:07:50,470
The hair was bad quality,
and it was just trash.
245
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,338
And I was trying to sell it,
you know,
246
00:07:52,338 --> 00:07:56,242
but only thing I could do is
sell, like, $200 worth of it.
247
00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:58,044
- Why did you say
the product was trash?
248
00:07:58,044 --> 00:08:00,146
- Because most of it
is synthetic hair.
249
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,015
- Nobody buys synthetic no more
250
00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:03,616
but old women
who go to church.
251
00:08:03,616 --> 00:08:05,351
[laughter]
252
00:08:05,351 --> 00:08:07,954
Did you ever call
Mr. Thomas and tell him,
253
00:08:07,954 --> 00:08:09,422
this hair is trash?
254
00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:12,225
My [bleep] hair
is straighter than this stuff.
255
00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:14,194
- Wow.
256
00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:15,361
- My [bleep] hair?
257
00:08:15,361 --> 00:08:16,996
- I told him,
but he just a pimp.
258
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:18,998
He just--
- He's a pimp?
259
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:21,334
- To me, I just feel
like he's pimping me.
260
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,169
- Ain't no way in hell
he no pimp with them braids
261
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,438
sitting on his neck like that.
262
00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:29,809
- I can see his thoughts
and dreams through the braids.
263
00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:32,045
- So he's trying to make you
turn hair tricks?
264
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:33,346
- Yes.
265
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,415
- And how long
was y'all marriage?
266
00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:37,450
- About 13 or 14 years.
267
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:38,685
- So why did you guys decide
268
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:40,453
to get into the hair
business together?
269
00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:42,388
- Because I'm a hairstylist,
270
00:08:42,388 --> 00:08:44,724
and he just thought
that I can be a good hustle
271
00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:46,226
to get off the hair.
272
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:48,761
- So you're a hairstylist,
and he want to be hustling?
273
00:08:48,761 --> 00:08:50,964
[laughter]
274
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:53,099
- No, but I'm an entrepreneur
for real, though.
275
00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:54,467
- Boy, I love when people
throw around
276
00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:56,636
that word "entrepreneur."
277
00:08:56,636 --> 00:08:58,538
Ooh, I remember the first time
I learned how to spell
278
00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,572
that word "entrepreneur."
279
00:08:59,572 --> 00:09:01,174
I was selling crack that day.
280
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:02,475
[laughter]
281
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:06,145
OK, Mr. Entrepreneur,
what do you entreprenue?
282
00:09:06,145 --> 00:09:07,514
- I have a production company.
283
00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:09,682
I do videography.
I sell hair.
284
00:09:09,682 --> 00:09:10,817
- What kind of videos?
285
00:09:10,817 --> 00:09:12,619
- Music videos.
- No porn?
286
00:09:12,619 --> 00:09:14,487
- Commercials.
I do that too.
287
00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:16,122
- Porn?
OK. I could tell.
288
00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:17,323
I think I saw him in one.
289
00:09:17,323 --> 00:09:20,126
[laughter]
290
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:21,127
- You watch that much porn?
291
00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:22,262
- I mean, you know, way.
292
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:23,463
[laughter]
293
00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:25,532
- Oh, my goodness.
294
00:09:25,532 --> 00:09:26,833
- I'm grown.
- It's OK.
295
00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:28,034
I mean, do what you gotta do.
296
00:09:28,034 --> 00:09:30,136
- There's nothing
like being a master--
297
00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:31,638
what is that little
saying they say?
298
00:09:31,638 --> 00:09:32,872
- A masturbator?
299
00:09:32,872 --> 00:09:36,109
[laughter]
300
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:37,277
Was that what you
was about to--
301
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:38,478
- Is that what you were--
- I know.
302
00:09:38,478 --> 00:09:39,679
- I thought the same.
- What is it?
303
00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:40,880
A master of none?
304
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:42,482
- Oh, a jack-of-all-trades...
305
00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:43,716
- A jack-of-all-trades
and a master of none.
306
00:09:43,716 --> 00:09:44,751
- And a master of none.
307
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,352
[laughter]
308
00:09:46,352 --> 00:09:48,321
- So did you ever give him
the hair back?
309
00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:50,089
- No, I brought it
with me here.
310
00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:52,559
- Let me see the hair.
311
00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:53,860
- She said it was trash,
312
00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:55,295
and that's why
it's in a trash bag.
313
00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:56,629
- Presentation is off.
314
00:09:56,629 --> 00:09:58,031
- Yeah, and that's how
he gave it to me too.
315
00:09:58,031 --> 00:09:59,065
He gave it to me--
316
00:09:59,065 --> 00:10:00,199
- Oh, shit.
- Ooh.
317
00:10:00,199 --> 00:10:01,501
- Oh.
- [laughs]
318
00:10:01,501 --> 00:10:03,803
- This some crunchy shit
right here.
319
00:10:03,803 --> 00:10:05,772
This look like ramen noodles.
320
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,707
[laughter]
321
00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:10,076
- That's a synthetic lace wig.
Synthetic.
322
00:10:10,076 --> 00:10:11,077
- The smell on this thing.
323
00:10:11,077 --> 00:10:12,745
- It's just so bad.
324
00:10:12,745 --> 00:10:14,147
- Let me see
the blonde one, Kourtlyn.
325
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:15,615
- Why do they smell so bad?
326
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,350
- Came from her house,
not my house.
327
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:18,751
- What do you think?
- That's synthetic hair.
328
00:10:18,751 --> 00:10:20,186
[laughter]
329
00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:22,589
See, you see, I just
couldn't sell the hair.
330
00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:23,823
- Just smell it.
331
00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:25,024
- Ooh.
[laughter]
332
00:10:25,024 --> 00:10:26,559
- You can catch
contact off that.
333
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:27,894
- Mr. Thomas,
this your product?
334
00:10:27,894 --> 00:10:29,095
- Yes.
335
00:10:29,095 --> 00:10:30,330
- Where did you get
this hair from?
336
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:32,165
Did it fall off
the back of a train?
337
00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:33,166
- Wholesale.
338
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:34,200
- From where?
339
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,501
- Some ho who was selling it.
340
00:10:35,501 --> 00:10:37,370
[laughter]
341
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,439
So, jury, help me out here.
Help me out here.
342
00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:41,140
- How much were you
selling per bundle?
343
00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:42,976
- $20 to $30 a pack.
344
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:45,411
Well, it came out
to about $2,500.
345
00:10:45,411 --> 00:10:47,547
- The real hustler
is whoever sold you the hair.
346
00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:49,515
[laughter]
347
00:10:49,515 --> 00:10:51,351
- Well, Pat,
I tried on the hair,
348
00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:53,586
and my head
is still itching, so...
349
00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:54,821
[laughter]
I don't--
350
00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:56,255
- Yeah, she was just
hitting her head.
351
00:10:56,255 --> 00:10:58,391
- Yeah, it was still itching,
and I just really--
352
00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:02,462
I just want to ask the wife,
when you was married to him,
353
00:11:02,462 --> 00:11:03,930
was his braids like this, or--
354
00:11:03,930 --> 00:11:06,833
[laughter]
- What are you saying, Carmen?
355
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:09,268
He came here looking like a
Black Stewie from "Family Guy"?
356
00:11:09,268 --> 00:11:10,336
[laughter]
357
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:11,838
- That's exactly
what I'm saying.
358
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:14,307
That's exactly what I'm saying.
- That was a good one.
359
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:16,209
- OK, before I go
and make my decision,
360
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:17,910
any final words
from you, Kelvin?
361
00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:20,213
- You say
it's church old lady hair.
362
00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:23,783
Why didn't she just go to an
old church and sell the hair?
363
00:11:23,783 --> 00:11:26,786
- Oh, come on.
364
00:11:26,786 --> 00:11:29,288
- Maybe the funeral home
might buy it, but--
365
00:11:29,288 --> 00:11:31,591
[laughter]
366
00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:33,993
- Kelvin, you should
be ashamed of yourself.
367
00:11:33,993 --> 00:11:36,229
You got your ex-wife
out here selling
368
00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:38,898
these endangered species.
369
00:11:38,898 --> 00:11:41,300
[laughter]
370
00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:42,769
Wysika?
- Yes, ma'am.
371
00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:44,000
- I don't know
how you can agree to go
372
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:44,303
- I don't know
how you can agree to go
373
00:11:44,303 --> 00:11:46,139
in business with your ex.
374
00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:47,774
It's your ex.
375
00:11:47,774 --> 00:11:49,575
You got into a bad marriage,
and then you went
376
00:11:49,575 --> 00:11:51,210
into bad business with him.
377
00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:52,545
- Yeah.
378
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,414
- After considering
the facts of this case,
379
00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:56,883
I'm going to settle this
right here and right now.
380
00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:58,751
[tense music]
381
00:11:58,751 --> 00:12:02,889
I'm ruling in favor of...
382
00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:04,791
Wysika.
You don't owe him shit.
383
00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:05,992
- Thank you.
384
00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:07,293
- You ain't gotta
pay that man nothing
385
00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:09,462
for that bootyhole hair.
[laughter]
386
00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:10,596
- Bootyhole hair.
- Y'all get out.
387
00:12:10,596 --> 00:12:11,764
Get out of my courtroom.
388
00:12:11,764 --> 00:12:13,332
- Thank you.
389
00:12:13,332 --> 00:12:15,234
[applause]
390
00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:17,670
- Kelvin.
Kelvin.
391
00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:19,038
Take your shit with you.
392
00:12:19,038 --> 00:12:20,506
[laughter]
393
00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:21,708
- OK, just leave it here.
394
00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:23,376
I'll figure out
something to do with it.
395
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:24,711
[laughter]
396
00:12:24,711 --> 00:12:27,880
- What was in that bag
was a murder case.
397
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:30,016
That hair was so rough,
it couldn't even be cremated.
398
00:12:30,016 --> 00:12:34,087
[laughter]
399
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:37,657
- She's bringing me to court
about hands being burnt.
400
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:39,759
- She heard it. She heard it.
He heard it. We heard it.
401
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,861
[laughter]
OK? She did that.
402
00:12:41,861 --> 00:12:44,897
[laughter]
403
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,803
- All right, jury,
we're here to jury today.
404
00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:51,905
- Let's do it.
405
00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:54,240
[upbeat music]
406
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:55,709
You do look good.
407
00:12:55,709 --> 00:12:57,811
- I know.
I saw myself in the mirror.
408
00:12:57,811 --> 00:12:59,112
- Good.
409
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,680
- Garrianna, you don't
think I look good today?
410
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:01,815
- What'd you say?
411
00:13:01,815 --> 00:13:03,516
We got cases
to handle, Patricia.
412
00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:04,651
Let's get going.
413
00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:06,086
That's crazy.
414
00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:09,122
- One more "Patricia," and I'm
gonna beat your [bleep].
415
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,758
Let's get this case started
before I be in jail.
416
00:13:11,758 --> 00:13:15,495
- This is the case
of Bass versus Flagler.
417
00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:18,598
- Tiffany Bass is suing
her friend Damienne for $600
418
00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:21,067
for busting some pants
and damaging other clothes
419
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:22,902
from her boutique.
420
00:13:22,902 --> 00:13:24,637
But defendant
Damienne Flagler says
421
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,406
although she may
have heard a pop,
422
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:28,241
she didn't see any damage.
423
00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:30,210
And there is no way
Tiffany can prove
424
00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:33,646
she caused the busted bottoms.
425
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:34,647
- Thank you.
426
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:35,648
- All right, Tiffany,
427
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,083
tell me,
why you here today?
428
00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:39,452
- I came here today
to sue my friend for $600
429
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:41,054
for damaging my clothes.
430
00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:45,692
Damienne came into my boutique,
tried on about three items.
431
00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:47,227
She left without
purchasing anything,
432
00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:48,895
so I didn't think
anything of it.
433
00:13:48,895 --> 00:13:52,632
So about 10 minutes later,
another customer came in,
434
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:54,567
took some clothes
into the back,
435
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:56,469
and she was about
to try them on.
436
00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:58,505
But before she tried them on,
she noticed a stain,
437
00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:00,407
so she brought them
back up to me
438
00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:02,008
and said she didn't want
to try anything on.
439
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:05,412
So after she left,
I logged on to social media.
440
00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:07,213
She left a bad review,
saying that nobody
441
00:14:07,213 --> 00:14:08,848
should come to my boutique.
442
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:12,852
I went back and checked all the
items that Damienne tried on.
443
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,854
One of them,
she had busted the pants.
444
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,390
And then on a dress,
she had makeup on the sleeve.
445
00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:19,092
And then she had the stain.
446
00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:20,627
- What kind of stain?
447
00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:22,295
- [sighs] A bloodstain.
448
00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:23,863
- Her period?
- Yes.
449
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:26,032
- OK.
450
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:28,067
- So then I called Damienne,
and I was like,
451
00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:29,536
Damienne,
you damaged some of my clothes.
452
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,805
And she was like, well, I
could have busted one of them.
453
00:14:31,805 --> 00:14:33,573
I did hear something pop,
454
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:35,508
but I don't know
anything about the stains.
455
00:14:35,508 --> 00:14:37,510
- What do you have to say
to that, Damienne?
456
00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:41,848
- I am telling you today,
that is not who I am.
457
00:14:41,848 --> 00:14:43,149
For one, that is trifling.
458
00:14:43,149 --> 00:14:45,485
Now, honestly, I did hear--
459
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:47,220
I might have loosened
the seam a little bit.
460
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:48,521
But when I checked the pants,
461
00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:51,057
there were no holes
or anything like that
462
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:52,392
in the seams of the pants.
463
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,027
- You don't remember
busting the pants?
464
00:14:54,027 --> 00:14:55,161
- No.
No, no--
465
00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:57,163
- Was your monthly on that day?
466
00:14:57,163 --> 00:14:59,365
- Your Honor--
- I know that's personal,
467
00:14:59,365 --> 00:15:00,700
but I gotta find out
where the blood came from.
468
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,268
- It's personal,
but as a friend,
469
00:15:02,268 --> 00:15:05,605
she should know I've been on
birth control for five years.
470
00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:08,041
I don't even bleed.
- Oh, Lord.
471
00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:09,309
I don't know.
472
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:10,977
My inside's frozen, so--
473
00:15:10,977 --> 00:15:12,045
[laughter]
474
00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:13,546
- I have not bled
in five years,
475
00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:14,914
so that's why I'm
trying to tell her,
476
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,516
there is no way it could be me.
477
00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:19,052
- OK.
- I don't even have periods.
478
00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:21,120
- OK, don't have period,
period.
479
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:22,789
- Period.
480
00:15:22,789 --> 00:15:25,458
- So, Tiffany,
how do you know this was blood?
481
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:27,827
I mean, you could
do red lipstick.
482
00:15:27,827 --> 00:15:28,995
- I got evidence.
- Huh?
483
00:15:28,995 --> 00:15:30,463
- I got evidence.
- She got evidence.
484
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:31,598
- Ooh.
- Let me see the pictures.
485
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:33,299
- Look, I love
a little evidence.
486
00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:35,168
- I know it was the blood.
487
00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:36,870
[laughter]
488
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:44,010
- Oh, wow, you definitely
busted the pants.
489
00:15:44,010 --> 00:15:46,112
- That's makeup.
490
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:48,214
- This in between the legs?
- Yes.
491
00:15:48,214 --> 00:15:50,850
- Somebody have on no drawers.
- Exactly.
492
00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:52,018
[laughter]
493
00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:54,354
- And how do you come
to the $600?
494
00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:56,122
- I totaled up all the items.
495
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:57,323
- The items that was damaged?
496
00:15:57,323 --> 00:15:58,625
- Yes, yes.
497
00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,493
I really want more
for pain and suffering.
498
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:02,195
[laughter]
499
00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:04,497
- Do you have a receipt
for the price for each item?
500
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:05,765
- No, I don't have a receipt.
501
00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:06,933
- So how are we gonna
break this down?
502
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:08,167
- Right.
503
00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:09,736
- With the items that I just--
504
00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:10,737
- You want me to do the math?
505
00:16:10,737 --> 00:16:12,138
I got a GED.
506
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:14,173
[laughter]
507
00:16:14,173 --> 00:16:15,308
Don't be coming in here
working me.
508
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,609
You didn't bring no receipts.
509
00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:17,911
- Hello.
510
00:16:17,911 --> 00:16:19,712
- It was a two-piece,
a dress, and some pants.
511
00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:22,048
- OK, so we looking
at $200 an outfit?
512
00:16:22,048 --> 00:16:23,516
- Yes.
- At a boutique?
513
00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:26,152
- I mean, well, didn't you
just hear my story?
514
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:28,821
[laughter]
515
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,791
- Yeah, we heard.
516
00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:34,093
- OK, see, here's my problem.
517
00:16:34,093 --> 00:16:35,528
You said you heard a rip,
518
00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:37,497
but you didn't
say anything to her.
519
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:38,932
- Oh, I told her.
520
00:16:38,932 --> 00:16:41,167
I told her I heard a rip,
but there was no rip there.
521
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,102
- Mm-mm, she told me
once I called her
522
00:16:43,102 --> 00:16:44,103
that she heard a rip.
523
00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:45,538
- Yes, you did say that.
524
00:16:45,538 --> 00:16:47,473
- But what I'm saying is,
when we examined the pants,
525
00:16:47,473 --> 00:16:49,442
if I would have seen
loose threads...
526
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:51,511
- But you--
- I would have said something.
527
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:54,113
- You heard them pants say,
girl, stop.
528
00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:55,648
- And that's why I stopped.
529
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:57,750
And that's why I stopped.
530
00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:59,018
- I know that's why
you stopped,
531
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,853
'cause them pants
were screaming.
532
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:03,389
[laughter]
533
00:17:05,626 --> 00:17:07,961
- Tiffany Bass is suing
her friend Damienne Flagler
534
00:17:07,961 --> 00:17:11,165
for $600 for ruining
clothes at her boutique
535
00:17:11,165 --> 00:17:14,068
and causing her to get
a negative review online.
536
00:17:14,068 --> 00:17:16,704
Now their relationship
is busting at the seams,
537
00:17:16,704 --> 00:17:19,039
and Ms. Pat is looking
to get to the bottom
538
00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:22,009
of this fashion faux pas.
539
00:17:22,009 --> 00:17:23,243
- Can I see the review?
540
00:17:23,243 --> 00:17:24,712
- It's in the folder
I gave you.
541
00:17:24,712 --> 00:17:25,846
- OK.
542
00:17:25,846 --> 00:17:28,248
"I noticed a stain
in the pants.
543
00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:30,050
"It was definitely blood.
544
00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:32,019
"I decided not
to try on any items.
545
00:17:32,019 --> 00:17:34,588
This was my first and last time
going to this boutique."
546
00:17:34,588 --> 00:17:36,056
- Mm.
- Damn.
547
00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:37,458
Yeah, that'll kill
your business.
548
00:17:37,458 --> 00:17:38,792
That type of review will
kill your business for sure.
549
00:17:38,792 --> 00:17:40,294
- Is that your only bad review?
550
00:17:40,294 --> 00:17:41,662
You perfect?
551
00:17:41,662 --> 00:17:43,330
- No, I'm not perfect,
but that's the only bad--
552
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:45,733
- Everybody leave there,
they're satisfied?
553
00:17:45,733 --> 00:17:47,267
- Mainly, yeah.
554
00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:48,335
- So, jury, come on.
Help me out here.
555
00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:50,003
Garrianna, what do you think?
556
00:17:50,003 --> 00:17:51,772
- We know about the rip
heard round the world.
557
00:17:51,772 --> 00:17:53,874
She heard it. She heard it.
He heard it. We heard it.
558
00:17:53,874 --> 00:17:54,875
[laughter]
559
00:17:54,875 --> 00:17:56,710
OK, she did that.
560
00:17:56,710 --> 00:17:57,978
- All right, Jordan,
what you think?
561
00:17:57,978 --> 00:18:00,514
- I think if your big ass
heard the rip,
562
00:18:00,514 --> 00:18:02,349
your big ass must pay the tip.
563
00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:03,984
[laughter]
564
00:18:03,984 --> 00:18:05,886
- But where the clothes at now?
565
00:18:05,886 --> 00:18:07,121
Did you wipe the makeup off?
566
00:18:07,121 --> 00:18:08,322
You gonna give her
the clothes that you
567
00:18:08,322 --> 00:18:09,957
want her to pay $600 for?
- I can.
568
00:18:09,957 --> 00:18:11,658
- Does she get to keep them?
- I can.
569
00:18:11,658 --> 00:18:13,827
- You sold them clothes.
Them clothes is long gone.
570
00:18:13,827 --> 00:18:15,396
[laughter]
571
00:18:15,396 --> 00:18:18,132
- All right, I'm gonna
settle this right now.
572
00:18:18,132 --> 00:18:20,868
[tense music]
573
00:18:20,868 --> 00:18:22,336
I'm ruling in favor of...
574
00:18:22,336 --> 00:18:25,406
♪ ♪
575
00:18:25,406 --> 00:18:26,740
The plaintiff, Tiffany.
576
00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:28,041
- Exactly.
577
00:18:28,041 --> 00:18:29,410
- You asked for $600,
but I'm gonna split
578
00:18:29,410 --> 00:18:31,879
my judgment the same way
she split that seam.
579
00:18:31,879 --> 00:18:33,647
[laughter]
580
00:18:33,647 --> 00:18:35,849
I'm giving you $300.
581
00:18:35,849 --> 00:18:37,785
$200 for the dress she split
582
00:18:37,785 --> 00:18:40,287
and $100 for dry cleaning
'cause I truly believe
583
00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:41,989
you could have dry-cleaned
that stuff and nobody
584
00:18:41,989 --> 00:18:43,557
would have never known.
585
00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:45,893
They do it all the time, and
they put it back on the shelf.
586
00:18:45,893 --> 00:18:47,094
- Yes, ma'am.
587
00:18:47,094 --> 00:18:48,896
- This is me settling it.
[gavel bangs]
588
00:18:48,896 --> 00:18:50,931
- You are dismissed.
589
00:18:50,931 --> 00:18:52,366
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
590
00:18:52,366 --> 00:18:54,501
- Period.
- Period.
591
00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:56,870
[laughter]
592
00:18:56,870 --> 00:18:59,139
- Girl, you is
showing it all today.
593
00:18:59,139 --> 00:19:02,443
Jesus Christ.
[laughter]
594
00:19:02,443 --> 00:19:03,644
Sir right here
in the front row,
595
00:19:03,644 --> 00:19:06,313
you, sir, you got
an eyeful the whole time.
596
00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:09,116
[laughter]
597
00:19:09,116 --> 00:19:12,186
That's what you call
having Black ass in your face.
598
00:19:12,186 --> 00:19:15,022
[laughter]
599
00:19:15,022 --> 00:19:17,157
What other court show
have an ass like that?
600
00:19:20,094 --> 00:19:21,462
- I'm suing because she
don't clean up after herself.
601
00:19:21,462 --> 00:19:23,164
I went to go get
a razor and realized
602
00:19:23,164 --> 00:19:25,667
that she already used my razor
and left the hair on there.
603
00:19:25,667 --> 00:19:27,535
- Ms. Pat, don't touch that.
604
00:19:27,535 --> 00:19:30,138
Oh, yeah, that's booty hair.
605
00:19:30,138 --> 00:19:31,973
- My fiancée slashed
my tires out,
606
00:19:31,973 --> 00:19:34,509
and she wrote "bitch"
all over it.
607
00:19:34,509 --> 00:19:36,044
- And I'd do it again.
608
00:19:36,044 --> 00:19:37,946
- Now, don't get me wrong,
you look like you cheat to me.
609
00:19:37,946 --> 00:19:39,681
- Yeah.
- Yes, definitely.
610
00:19:39,681 --> 00:19:41,549
- I had to replace
the balcony door.
611
00:19:41,549 --> 00:19:42,784
We had to replace our rug.
612
00:19:42,784 --> 00:19:44,819
Everywhere is wet.
- I didn't do that.
613
00:19:44,819 --> 00:19:48,122
- Step number one to recovery,
don't be lying to your sister.
614
00:19:48,122 --> 00:19:51,092
And if you do lie,
learn how to lie.
615
00:19:51,092 --> 00:19:52,861
[laughter]