1
00:00:01,067 --> 00:00:02,335
- You ain't never met
a judge like me.
2
00:00:02,335 --> 00:00:03,770
- Your Honor! Your Honor!
3
00:00:03,770 --> 00:00:05,705
- Shut the hell up, and let me
get this thing together.
4
00:00:05,705 --> 00:00:07,741
Hey, y'all.
I'm Ms. Pat.
5
00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:10,343
I know the inside
of a courtroom.
6
00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:12,479
Went to jail
for selling cocaine.
7
00:00:12,479 --> 00:00:15,215
Now here I am, sitting on
this side of the bench.
8
00:00:15,215 --> 00:00:16,783
- Put my faith in your hands.
- I ain't God.
9
00:00:16,783 --> 00:00:18,151
I don't love you.
10
00:00:18,151 --> 00:00:20,987
These are real cases with
real money on the line.
11
00:00:20,987 --> 00:00:22,589
What'd you do with the $5,000?
12
00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:23,656
- I'll let you know.
13
00:00:23,656 --> 00:00:25,525
- Well, I'm here. Let me know.
14
00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:26,826
- Let's just wrap this up,
15
00:00:26,826 --> 00:00:28,228
'cause I'm getting
very irritated.
16
00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:29,696
- You keep running
your mouth,
17
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:31,131
you ain't going to get nothing.
18
00:00:31,131 --> 00:00:32,832
Court is now in session.
19
00:00:32,832 --> 00:00:34,834
Baby, don't do me,
do Jesus because he got
20
00:00:34,834 --> 00:00:37,137
more patience with you, OK?
21
00:00:37,137 --> 00:00:39,172
[gavel bangs]
22
00:00:39,172 --> 00:00:41,074
- Stand up for
the judge who has
23
00:00:41,074 --> 00:00:43,376
no problem telling you
to sit your ass down,
24
00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:46,746
the Honorable Ms. Pat.
25
00:00:46,746 --> 00:00:48,081
- Hey, everybody.
26
00:00:48,081 --> 00:00:49,249
Thank you.
27
00:00:49,249 --> 00:00:50,850
Please, have a seat.
28
00:00:50,850 --> 00:00:52,118
All right, jury, y'all
ready to get it on?
29
00:00:52,118 --> 00:00:53,119
- Mm-hmm.
30
00:00:53,119 --> 00:00:54,387
- Let's get it on.
31
00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:55,655
- Let's get to
the truth in here.
32
00:00:58,458 --> 00:00:59,793
- All right, bailiff.
33
00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:02,829
- This is the case of
Boyd versus Wagstaff.
34
00:01:02,829 --> 00:01:04,497
You may now enter.
35
00:01:04,497 --> 00:01:07,167
- Plaintiff Jasmin Boyd is
suing her best friend, Raven,
36
00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:10,270
for $350 in hair
and makeup services,
37
00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:13,406
claiming that Raven's glow-up
went down without a payment.
38
00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:14,407
- Hello.
39
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:15,909
- Hello, Your Honor.
40
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,378
- Defendant Raven says she
doesn't owe Jasmin jack
41
00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:20,914
and is countersuing for $1,000
42
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:23,416
because Jasmin's ex
wrecked Raven's car.
43
00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:27,253
And that's a motor makeover
she's got to clean up.
44
00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:29,088
- OK, before we
get started, I just
45
00:01:29,088 --> 00:01:32,625
want to let you know that this
is a jury of my peers, OK?
46
00:01:32,625 --> 00:01:35,328
Don't let them get
your wig in a knot.
47
00:01:35,328 --> 00:01:36,496
[laughter]
48
00:01:36,496 --> 00:01:37,997
- Ain't going to happen.
49
00:01:37,997 --> 00:01:40,099
- They're going to say
stuff that doesn't matter.
50
00:01:40,099 --> 00:01:41,634
Stay focused on me.
51
00:01:41,634 --> 00:01:44,337
OK, Jasmin, please tell me
why we're here today.
52
00:01:44,337 --> 00:01:47,106
- I am here suing my
lifelong friend, who happens
53
00:01:47,106 --> 00:01:50,477
to be my BFF, Raven, for $350.
54
00:01:50,477 --> 00:01:53,346
I did her birthday slay,
hair and makeup,
55
00:01:53,346 --> 00:01:55,448
and she refused to pay me.
56
00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:57,484
And I do not work for free.
57
00:01:57,484 --> 00:01:58,718
- OK.
58
00:01:58,718 --> 00:02:00,487
Raven, tell me your
side of the story.
59
00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:03,056
- Girl, you know, you is
a Carlee Russell ass lie.
60
00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:05,859
[chuckles] But I'm going
to just tell you, Judge,
61
00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:06,926
I was over her house.
62
00:02:06,926 --> 00:02:08,228
She would do my
hair and makeup,
63
00:02:08,228 --> 00:02:09,863
and she does do
a phenomenal job.
64
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:11,898
Just so happened, I don't
know what was discussed
65
00:02:11,898 --> 00:02:13,099
between her and her boyfriend.
66
00:02:13,099 --> 00:02:14,601
But he came in,
and he said, Raven,
67
00:02:14,601 --> 00:02:16,002
can I use your car
to go to the store?
68
00:02:16,002 --> 00:02:17,570
I said, absolutely not.
69
00:02:17,570 --> 00:02:19,038
And so, finally,
I stepped outside
70
00:02:19,038 --> 00:02:21,441
to get some air because,
of course, she has no AC.
71
00:02:21,441 --> 00:02:22,976
- I really need you
to take a breath.
72
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:23,977
I don't want to give you CPR.
73
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,278
- [laughs]
74
00:02:25,278 --> 00:02:27,614
- And so as I stepped
outside to get some air,
75
00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:28,815
I'm looking around--
76
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:31,150
where the hell is my car at?
77
00:02:31,150 --> 00:02:32,418
I come back in.
78
00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:35,321
Jasmin, I know you
didn't let Silk a.k.a.
79
00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:37,056
"Slick" take my car.
80
00:02:37,056 --> 00:02:38,191
- His name is Silk.
81
00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:39,425
- But he real slick.
82
00:02:39,425 --> 00:02:40,560
- Oh, OK, he's slick.
OK.
83
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:41,828
- Yeah.
84
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:42,829
So she calls him,
calls, him calls him.
85
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:43,897
He's not answering.
86
00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:45,532
Finally, when he
calls her back,
87
00:02:45,532 --> 00:02:48,368
he tells her he was in a
wreck on Northside Drive.
88
00:02:48,368 --> 00:02:49,936
Only thing I know
on Northside Drive
89
00:02:49,936 --> 00:02:51,538
is Dreams, the strip club.
90
00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:52,739
- Girl.
91
00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:54,140
- And he didn't
have my permission.
92
00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:57,911
So at this time, I'm
countersuing her for $1,000
93
00:02:57,911 --> 00:03:00,280
because I want my deductible
that I had to pay back
94
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:01,915
for my car because
she begged me
95
00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:04,350
not to press charges
on my stolen vehicle.
96
00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:06,185
And look at what
position I'm in now.
97
00:03:06,185 --> 00:03:07,921
- Silk.
- Damn.
98
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:10,423
- Jasmin, you left that little
detail out of your testimony.
99
00:03:10,423 --> 00:03:11,824
- OK.
100
00:03:11,824 --> 00:03:13,560
- Your Honor, just because
that was my boyfriend
101
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:16,062
does not mean I'm liable
for him taking her car.
102
00:03:16,062 --> 00:03:17,430
- So she had a key to your car?
- No.
103
00:03:17,430 --> 00:03:18,731
- No, she doesn't
have a key to my car.
104
00:03:18,731 --> 00:03:20,066
- I have a key ring.
105
00:03:20,066 --> 00:03:21,200
When you walk in, you know...
- You hang up.
106
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,268
- You hang up the key ring.
107
00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:23,770
- So he stole--
he pretty much--
108
00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:24,938
- I don't know.
109
00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:26,205
I wasn't privy
to the conversation.
110
00:03:26,205 --> 00:03:27,440
- He absolutely did.
111
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:28,875
- Yes, I sent Silk
to the store for me.
112
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:29,876
- Look at me.
- Silk...
113
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:30,877
- Stop.
114
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:31,978
- Rides his bike.
115
00:03:31,978 --> 00:03:33,279
- Well, he rides a bike?
116
00:03:33,279 --> 00:03:34,714
- Yes, because he does
not have a license.
117
00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:36,316
And he's not
driving my vehicle,
118
00:03:36,316 --> 00:03:37,984
so Silk rides his bike.
119
00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:39,352
- He doesn't ride his bike.
120
00:03:39,352 --> 00:03:40,520
He rides her son's Huffy.
121
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:41,821
- It don't matter
who the owner is--
122
00:03:41,821 --> 00:03:42,989
- OK, well, it's not his.
123
00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:44,524
He has no ownership.
[gavel bangs]
124
00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:45,558
- Looky here.
125
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:47,627
[laughter]
126
00:03:47,627 --> 00:03:49,262
- Her son's Huffy.
127
00:03:49,262 --> 00:03:51,965
- You let your man
ride your son bike?
128
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:53,967
- First of all, I don't
think that who bike--
129
00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:56,202
Silk's ride isn't
the issue because he's
130
00:03:56,202 --> 00:03:57,537
not here about the bike.
131
00:03:57,537 --> 00:04:00,106
- OK, you got a grown-ass
man who ride a bike.
132
00:04:00,106 --> 00:04:01,207
- No, hold on.
Hold on.
133
00:04:01,207 --> 00:04:02,475
- And he's not a cyclist.
134
00:04:02,475 --> 00:04:04,043
- We're not going to say
I sleep with Silk.
135
00:04:04,043 --> 00:04:05,678
Silk is the kid's big brother,
the babysitter, Your Honor.
136
00:04:05,678 --> 00:04:07,013
We going to just call
it for what it is.
137
00:04:07,013 --> 00:04:08,247
- So let me ask you--
[gavel bangs]
138
00:04:08,247 --> 00:04:09,916
Let me ask you this.
- Which one is it?
139
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:12,418
- Let me ask you this, Jasmin.
140
00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:13,886
- Yes, Your Honor.
- Look at her.
141
00:04:13,886 --> 00:04:15,188
- I'm looking.
142
00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:18,057
- Do she look like
she would loan her keys
143
00:04:18,057 --> 00:04:20,393
to a man that paddles?
144
00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:22,528
[laughter]
145
00:04:22,528 --> 00:04:24,030
- Yes.
146
00:04:24,030 --> 00:04:25,732
- Jasmin, you can't
[bleep] the [bleep].
147
00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:27,266
- OK.
148
00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:30,436
- You allow this man to come
in your house, where you do
149
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:33,506
your business, and take
from your customers,
150
00:04:33,506 --> 00:04:35,241
and go and wreck their car.
151
00:04:35,241 --> 00:04:37,443
And you're going
to tell me that you
152
00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:43,316
actually believe that
she gave this bum her car?
153
00:04:43,316 --> 00:04:44,684
[laughter]
154
00:04:44,684 --> 00:04:45,952
- I got pictures, Your Honor.
155
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,553
- OK, please, let me
see these pictures.
156
00:04:47,553 --> 00:04:48,955
- You know I brings
the receipts.
157
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,089
- I have receipts myself.
158
00:04:50,089 --> 00:04:51,290
- OK, well, whatever.
159
00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:52,458
- What kind of car was this?
160
00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:56,029
- That was a Rogue 2013.
161
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:59,232
- Look like he drove it
into the strip club.
162
00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:00,000
- So let me ask my jury, OK?
163
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,334
- So let me ask my jury, OK?
164
00:05:01,334 --> 00:05:03,136
Jurors, please,
help me out here.
165
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,771
- Silk is wrecking the bike.
166
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:05,772
He wrecking the car.
167
00:05:05,772 --> 00:05:07,140
He wrecking the friendship.
168
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,307
- And he wrecking
Jasmin's life...
169
00:05:08,307 --> 00:05:09,776
- OK.
- Ooh...
170
00:05:09,776 --> 00:05:11,310
- In that order.
- [bleep].
171
00:05:11,310 --> 00:05:13,212
- Before I make my decision,
do either one of you ladies
172
00:05:13,212 --> 00:05:14,847
have a last remark?
173
00:05:14,847 --> 00:05:16,382
- At this point, I just wished
all of this would be over with,
174
00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:18,518
and I could go back
to living my best life
175
00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:20,586
without being involved
in her and her scandals,
176
00:05:20,586 --> 00:05:22,622
and her bum-ass men.
177
00:05:22,622 --> 00:05:23,723
- She'll be back.
178
00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:24,724
They all come back.
179
00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:26,125
- Ooh.
180
00:05:26,125 --> 00:05:28,061
- I am not responsible
for what he did,
181
00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:29,429
regardless he live
with me or not.
182
00:05:29,429 --> 00:05:30,430
I did work.
183
00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:31,564
And I like to be
paid for my work
184
00:05:31,564 --> 00:05:33,132
because I do not work for free.
185
00:05:33,132 --> 00:05:34,634
- I've heard everything
I needed to hear.
186
00:05:34,634 --> 00:05:35,968
[gavel bangs]
187
00:05:35,968 --> 00:05:37,704
[suspenseful music]
188
00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:39,572
I'm ruling in favor of...
189
00:05:39,572 --> 00:05:43,342
♪ ♪
190
00:05:43,342 --> 00:05:47,980
The plaintiff, Jasmin, for $350
191
00:05:47,980 --> 00:05:49,716
because you did the makeup,
and the hair, and the wig.
192
00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:51,584
I'm also ruling
in favor of Raven
193
00:05:51,584 --> 00:05:56,589
for her countersuit for $1,000.
194
00:05:56,589 --> 00:06:00,093
Jasmin, that means you're on
the hook for $650, sister.
195
00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:01,461
I think you're
really delusional
196
00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:02,662
about your boyfriend.
197
00:06:02,662 --> 00:06:05,264
From one Black woman
to another one,
198
00:06:05,264 --> 00:06:08,301
you really damaged
a good friendship.
199
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:10,303
First of all,
let me say this to you.
200
00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:11,804
She supports your business.
201
00:06:11,804 --> 00:06:13,339
She come over,
and she say she's
202
00:06:13,339 --> 00:06:15,007
sat in your hot-ass
house, and let
203
00:06:15,007 --> 00:06:16,142
you do her hair and makeup.
204
00:06:16,142 --> 00:06:17,443
That's the first thing.
205
00:06:17,443 --> 00:06:18,878
And that wasn't the
first time she there.
206
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:19,879
She came here.
207
00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:20,947
She gave you your props.
208
00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:22,448
She said you does
a wonderful job.
209
00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:24,417
So that means you're
not at a salon.
210
00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:27,353
She comes to your house
whenever she get ready to get
211
00:06:27,353 --> 00:06:28,554
her wig and makeup done.
212
00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:29,756
- No, that's not true,
Your Honor.
213
00:06:29,756 --> 00:06:30,723
We're not going to paint
that narrative.
214
00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:32,959
- I'm just trying to tell you,
215
00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:35,394
you're messing up a friendship
216
00:06:35,394 --> 00:06:39,098
over your boyfriend
or friend, whatever
217
00:06:39,098 --> 00:06:41,534
he is, babysitter on a bike.
218
00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:42,535
[laughter]
219
00:06:42,535 --> 00:06:43,836
You sitting here with attitude.
220
00:06:43,836 --> 00:06:45,738
You ain't my friend.
221
00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:48,808
I don't care because had
Silk wrecked my bike, baby,
222
00:06:48,808 --> 00:06:50,042
your wig would have came off.
223
00:06:50,042 --> 00:06:51,677
You would have thought
I was DC Curry.
224
00:06:51,677 --> 00:06:54,814
[laughter]
225
00:06:54,814 --> 00:06:56,082
Now that settles it.
226
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:57,083
[gavel bangs]
227
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:58,084
- Thank you, Judge.
228
00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,318
I really appreciate it.
229
00:06:59,318 --> 00:07:00,319
You guys, too.
230
00:07:00,319 --> 00:07:01,320
Thank you.
231
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:02,955
- That's it.
232
00:07:02,955 --> 00:07:04,157
- I met some mean women today.
233
00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:05,525
- Well, she had
a right to be mean.
234
00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:07,093
Her man's riding a bike.
235
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:09,328
[laughter]
236
00:07:09,328 --> 00:07:11,497
- Silk out here
acting polyester.
237
00:07:11,497 --> 00:07:14,634
[laughter]
238
00:07:14,634 --> 00:07:17,236
- You should say,
I fell and hit my head.
239
00:07:17,236 --> 00:07:19,172
That is more believable.
240
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:20,339
- [scoffs] Come on, man.
241
00:07:20,339 --> 00:07:21,841
Can y'all be serious?
242
00:07:21,841 --> 00:07:24,243
- Please, tell us to be
serious in Ms. Pat courtroom.
243
00:07:24,243 --> 00:07:25,511
[laughter]
244
00:07:27,847 --> 00:07:29,148
- Now, we going
to have some fun.
245
00:07:29,148 --> 00:07:30,249
- What a day.
246
00:07:30,249 --> 00:07:31,384
- We are.
247
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,421
- Bailiff, you ready?
- Let's go.
248
00:07:35,421 --> 00:07:36,723
Let's do this.
249
00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:37,857
- Well, let's go on
and do this home run.
250
00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:39,192
- All right.
251
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:42,528
This is the case of
Ramsey versus Larocque.
252
00:07:42,528 --> 00:07:43,996
- Plaintiff Ron Ramsey
253
00:07:43,996 --> 00:07:47,033
is suing his cousin Javon
for $1,000.
254
00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:49,302
Ron says when he went
to his cousin's house
255
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,504
to help him install
an above ground pool,
256
00:07:51,504 --> 00:07:53,272
he's the one who took a spill.
257
00:07:53,272 --> 00:07:55,274
The injury caused him
to miss work
258
00:07:55,274 --> 00:07:57,276
and his bank account
to be dry.
259
00:07:57,276 --> 00:07:59,178
- That's how you get on the
flight early on Southwest.
260
00:07:59,178 --> 00:08:00,813
[laughter]
261
00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:03,249
- Defendant Javon
Larocque says his cousin
262
00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:06,552
is a scam artist with
a history of slip and falls.
263
00:08:06,552 --> 00:08:09,756
And he refuses to be
his latest victim.
264
00:08:09,756 --> 00:08:11,324
- Ms. Pat, you're even
prettier in person.
265
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,558
My God, I must say.
- Hey, man.
266
00:08:12,558 --> 00:08:13,626
Hey, brother.
267
00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:14,827
- Hey, don't play
about Ms. Pat.
268
00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:15,962
- No, I wasn't even--
269
00:08:15,962 --> 00:08:17,397
- Don't talk to my jury.
270
00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:18,765
- Oh, they started with me.
They started with me.
271
00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:19,799
- Hey.
272
00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:21,167
- We just being observant, bro.
273
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,635
[laughter]
274
00:08:22,635 --> 00:08:24,704
- All right, Ron,
tell us why we're here.
275
00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:27,306
- I'm suing my cousin,
Javon Larocque, for $1,000
276
00:08:27,306 --> 00:08:29,008
to replace the days
I missed at work.
277
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:30,543
- OK.
- I went over his house.
278
00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:32,178
He wanted me to help him
put up a pool,
279
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:35,214
so I told him, put the dogs up.
280
00:08:35,214 --> 00:08:36,382
He let the dogs out.
281
00:08:36,382 --> 00:08:37,583
[laughter]
282
00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:39,819
- Who? Who? Who?
283
00:08:39,819 --> 00:08:41,287
[laughter]
284
00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:42,722
- Finish.
285
00:08:42,722 --> 00:08:44,424
- I went to pick up one of
the panels for the pool.
286
00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:45,892
I turn around.
I see one of the dogs.
287
00:08:45,892 --> 00:08:48,494
I'm like, oh, oh, oh,
and I'm able to catch myself.
288
00:08:48,494 --> 00:08:50,363
But I didn't see the other one,
and like, oh, oh, oh.
289
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:51,831
And I just--I fell.
290
00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:53,232
And he started laughing
like he is now.
291
00:08:53,232 --> 00:08:54,500
- Lies, all lies.
292
00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:55,735
- He said he was
going to pay for it.
293
00:08:55,735 --> 00:08:57,336
That's why I'm here.
- OK.
294
00:08:57,336 --> 00:08:58,438
Javon.
295
00:08:58,438 --> 00:08:59,806
- Ms. Pat, he's lying--
- Why?
296
00:08:59,806 --> 00:09:00,973
- Just flat out.
297
00:09:00,973 --> 00:09:02,108
He's been a liar.
298
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:04,377
Those crutches
are probably lies.
299
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,379
Like, he didn't do nothing, OK?
300
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,681
So I go to my shed
to go get some tools out.
301
00:09:08,681 --> 00:09:10,082
I come out.
302
00:09:10,082 --> 00:09:12,318
He's rolling over on
the ground, oh, my leg.
303
00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:13,319
Help me.
304
00:09:13,319 --> 00:09:15,054
Oh, help, help, help.
305
00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:16,889
I had to actually
help him get up.
306
00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:18,591
- That's a lie, Your Honor.
He ain't touch me or nothing--
307
00:09:18,591 --> 00:09:20,059
- I did.
I did help you get up.
308
00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:21,427
- You laughed is what you did.
309
00:09:21,427 --> 00:09:22,528
- Wow.
310
00:09:22,528 --> 00:09:23,830
- He said your dogs came out.
311
00:09:23,830 --> 00:09:25,264
- Man, my dogs are always out.
312
00:09:25,264 --> 00:09:26,999
Those--they sweet little dogs.
313
00:09:26,999 --> 00:09:28,601
You can't--they
really, really sweet.
314
00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:29,602
- You got any evidence?
315
00:09:29,602 --> 00:09:30,870
- I do have some evidence.
316
00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:32,338
- Bailiff, help me out.
317
00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:34,040
So you scared of a small dog?
318
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:35,208
- He got an English bulldog.
319
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:36,442
You know what those
things can do?
320
00:09:36,442 --> 00:09:37,810
- They're small.
321
00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:39,312
- But they take down bears
and stuff like that.
322
00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:40,813
- These are the dogs.
- Yeah.
323
00:09:40,813 --> 00:09:43,182
all: Aw.
[laughter]
324
00:09:43,182 --> 00:09:44,183
- Baby.
325
00:09:44,183 --> 00:09:46,752
[overlapping speech]
326
00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:48,187
- Don't even look like
they run around at all.
327
00:09:48,187 --> 00:09:49,422
They just lay and look good.
328
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,390
- Right. They just lay around.
329
00:09:51,390 --> 00:09:53,059
- OK, let's be realistic.
330
00:09:53,059 --> 00:09:54,260
He's there to help you out.
331
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,261
- Trying to help me.
332
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:56,462
- He put your pool together.
333
00:09:56,462 --> 00:09:57,463
He get hurt...
334
00:09:57,463 --> 00:09:58,698
- Yep.
335
00:09:58,698 --> 00:10:00,333
- On your property
because your little
336
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:02,702
dog ran up and scared him.
337
00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:04,003
If somebody else
would have came
338
00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:05,805
on your property,
that wasn't your relative,
339
00:10:05,805 --> 00:10:07,640
you would have had to pay.
340
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,742
- But see, hold--
this is not the first time
341
00:10:09,742 --> 00:10:12,178
he had an injury on his ankle.
342
00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:14,447
It's been like that for years.
- Yeah.
343
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,249
I did get injured, and I knew
he was going to bring that up.
344
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:17,550
That's no secret.
345
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:18,985
- So do he--let me ask you
something, Javon.
346
00:10:18,985 --> 00:10:21,821
Do he have a pattern of
exaggerating his injuries?
347
00:10:21,821 --> 00:10:23,422
- All the time.
348
00:10:23,422 --> 00:10:25,291
All the time.
- Prove it. Prove it.
349
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:26,459
- Javon, you have
a witness here?
350
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,927
- I do. I have one.
- Come on up.
351
00:10:27,927 --> 00:10:29,896
- Cuba Gooding Jr., he brought
Morris Chestnut with him.
352
00:10:29,896 --> 00:10:31,264
[laughter]
353
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:33,032
- Sir, please state your name
for the court.
354
00:10:33,032 --> 00:10:34,233
- My name is Tyson.
355
00:10:34,233 --> 00:10:35,735
- You got a last name?
- OK, Marlow.
356
00:10:35,735 --> 00:10:36,736
- Tyson Marlow?
357
00:10:36,736 --> 00:10:38,104
- Yes, ma'am.
358
00:10:38,104 --> 00:10:40,540
- OK, tell me how you know
Frick and Frack.
359
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:43,509
- Ron and I have been
friends for, oh, 30 years.
360
00:10:43,509 --> 00:10:44,677
- OK.
361
00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:46,279
- This fella here,
he like to lie.
362
00:10:46,279 --> 00:10:47,480
- Do he?
363
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:48,881
- Oh, he rather
tell a lie on credit
364
00:10:48,881 --> 00:10:49,982
than the truth for cash.
365
00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:53,185
[laughter]
366
00:10:53,185 --> 00:10:54,220
- Why you say that?
367
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:56,656
- We had a minor fender bender.
368
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:59,325
I looked over, and I said,
did we just get hit?
369
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:01,027
By the time I looked
back over there,
370
00:11:01,027 --> 00:11:04,730
he was on the ground
with a neck brace on.
371
00:11:04,730 --> 00:11:08,634
He wanted me to be involved
in the story, and I refused.
372
00:11:08,634 --> 00:11:10,903
You a lying sack of dog poop.
373
00:11:10,903 --> 00:11:12,305
[laughter]
374
00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:13,673
- Go back to your seat.
Thank you, sir.
375
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:14,907
- You're welcome.
376
00:11:14,907 --> 00:11:16,242
- That didn't prove anything.
377
00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:17,877
- So who finished helping
you put your pool up?
378
00:11:17,877 --> 00:11:19,612
- My son.
- How old is your son?
379
00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:20,613
- Four.
380
00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:22,715
[laughter]
381
00:11:22,715 --> 00:11:24,383
- Jesus, Ron put him to work.
- See?
382
00:11:24,383 --> 00:11:25,384
That's what I'm saying.
383
00:11:25,384 --> 00:11:27,720
And my son didn't even slip.
384
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:29,889
- I don't want to hear
nothing about what kind of dad
385
00:11:29,889 --> 00:11:31,557
I am ever again.
386
00:11:31,557 --> 00:11:34,727
- My God, they about to call
Family Services on your ass.
387
00:11:34,727 --> 00:11:36,262
[laughter]
388
00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:37,296
- All right,
let's go to the jury.
389
00:11:37,296 --> 00:11:38,464
Come on, help me out.
390
00:11:38,464 --> 00:11:42,234
- Ron, the crutches
are too short.
391
00:11:42,234 --> 00:11:45,104
You should say,
I fell and hit my head.
392
00:11:45,104 --> 00:11:47,006
That is more believable.
393
00:11:47,006 --> 00:11:48,174
- [scoffs] Come on, man.
394
00:11:48,174 --> 00:11:49,175
Can y'all be serious
for a minute?
395
00:11:49,175 --> 00:11:50,176
I mean--
396
00:11:50,176 --> 00:11:51,677
[laughter]
397
00:11:51,677 --> 00:11:54,280
- Please, tell us to be serious
in Ms. Pat courtroom.
398
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,281
[gavel bangs]
399
00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:56,849
- Order in the court.
400
00:11:56,849 --> 00:11:59,318
Can you tell me
why do you need the $1,000?
401
00:11:59,318 --> 00:12:00,820
- Because
I'm still missing work.
402
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:02,088
I was in physical therapy.
403
00:12:02,088 --> 00:12:03,322
It was going fine.
404
00:12:03,322 --> 00:12:04,657
And then when this
happened, it almost
405
00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:06,125
had to start over again.
406
00:12:06,125 --> 00:12:07,360
- The real question--
before you went over there,
407
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:08,694
how close you come to healing?
408
00:12:08,694 --> 00:12:09,695
- I'd say about 80%.
409
00:12:09,695 --> 00:12:10,696
- What?
- Really?
410
00:12:10,696 --> 00:12:11,697
- Yeah.
411
00:12:11,697 --> 00:12:13,032
- All right.
Javon.
412
00:12:13,032 --> 00:12:14,333
- Yes.
413
00:12:14,333 --> 00:12:17,036
- You knew your cousin
already had weak ankles,
414
00:12:17,036 --> 00:12:19,372
plus you said yourself
that you think
415
00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:20,740
he be faking all the time.
416
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,175
You shouldn't have never
invited him over.
417
00:12:23,175 --> 00:12:25,000
And Ron, as for you,
you shady as hell.
418
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,112
And Ron, as for you,
you shady as hell.
419
00:12:26,112 --> 00:12:27,613
Maybe you're accident prone.
420
00:12:27,613 --> 00:12:28,814
I don't know.
421
00:12:28,814 --> 00:12:30,282
I just know
you got these crutches,
422
00:12:30,282 --> 00:12:33,452
and you need to pull them
up about two more notches
423
00:12:33,452 --> 00:12:34,920
to fit you.
424
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,490
[laughter]
425
00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:38,991
Here's how I'm
going to settle it.
426
00:12:38,991 --> 00:12:40,126
[gavel bangs]
427
00:12:40,126 --> 00:12:41,527
[suspenseful music]
428
00:12:41,527 --> 00:12:43,763
I'm going to rule
in the favor...
429
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:44,964
♪ ♪
430
00:12:44,964 --> 00:12:47,466
Of the plaintiff, Ron,
431
00:12:47,466 --> 00:12:50,836
in the amount of $200.
432
00:12:50,836 --> 00:12:53,639
You said yourself
he was 80% together.
433
00:12:53,639 --> 00:12:57,309
20% of $1,000 is $200.
434
00:12:57,309 --> 00:12:58,811
That settles it.
435
00:12:58,811 --> 00:13:00,012
[gavel bangs]
- Thank you.
436
00:13:00,012 --> 00:13:01,013
- Thank you.
437
00:13:01,013 --> 00:13:02,248
- You are dismissed.
438
00:13:02,248 --> 00:13:03,749
- And you better not trip
on your way out
439
00:13:03,749 --> 00:13:05,051
because we ain't got
no more money around here.
440
00:13:05,051 --> 00:13:06,419
[laughter]
441
00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:08,754
- Ain't nothing wrong with
that boy ankle, Ms. Pat.
442
00:13:08,754 --> 00:13:10,723
- I kind of believe
something is wrong with him.
443
00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:12,024
- It's something
wrong with him,
444
00:13:12,024 --> 00:13:13,459
but it ain't nothing
wrong with his ankle.
445
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,661
[laughter]
446
00:13:15,661 --> 00:13:16,662
- We went to Miami.
447
00:13:16,662 --> 00:13:17,830
She promised to pay me back.
448
00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:19,165
- What was the purpose
of the trip?
449
00:13:19,165 --> 00:13:21,267
- To have a baby together.
- [laughs]
450
00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:22,535
- Wait,
hold--hold--hold--hold--
451
00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:24,503
wait a minute.
[laughter]
452
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:27,040
- Hey, jury.
453
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,041
How y'all doing?
454
00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:30,310
- We're good.
- Lit.
455
00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:35,148
- Go on, call in
the next set of fools.
456
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,316
- Let's go.
457
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:39,753
This is the case
of Lee versus Lamont.
458
00:13:39,753 --> 00:13:42,889
- Plaintiff Tyrice Lee is
suing his best friend, Ashley,
459
00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:45,859
for half the cost
of a lavish Miami vacation,
460
00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:48,061
after they agreed
to have a friendship baby.
461
00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:51,698
But defendant Ashley Lamont
argues that Tyrice told her
462
00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:53,833
he got her expenses
on the trip.
463
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,469
And even though she backed out
of the baby making pact,
464
00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:58,638
she shouldn't owe him
anything.
465
00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:00,907
- Damn, she walked in
tougher than you.
466
00:14:00,907 --> 00:14:02,842
[laughter]
467
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,344
[gavel bangs]
468
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:05,512
- Be on my side, y'all.
469
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:06,846
- Mm-hmm.
470
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:09,449
- They sure can see you
with that yellow on.
471
00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:11,484
That thing got you
in a chokehold.
472
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:13,386
- He look like Frozone.
473
00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:16,423
- Hey, that's exactly
what I thought.
474
00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:17,424
She ate that.
475
00:14:17,424 --> 00:14:19,492
[laughter]
476
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:20,627
- Who's that?
477
00:14:21,828 --> 00:14:22,929
- All right.
478
00:14:22,929 --> 00:14:24,164
Why are you here today, Tyrice?
479
00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:26,633
- I'm here today
to sue my best friend--
480
00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:27,934
well, former best friend--
481
00:14:27,934 --> 00:14:30,670
Ashley, for a trip we
went to Miami last year,
482
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:34,040
for about $2,702.98.
483
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,209
And that's the half that
she agreed to pay me with.
484
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:41,114
I paid for her flight, hotel,
drinks, excursions, jet skis.
485
00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:42,449
- Oh, [bleep].
486
00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:43,550
- And then she said she
was going to pay me back
487
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:44,984
because her check hadn't come.
488
00:14:44,984 --> 00:14:47,420
And she kind of remind me
of tomorrow that never come.
489
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:48,688
- That's philosophical.
490
00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:50,290
- When it came time
for her to pay you,
491
00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:51,324
you stopped hearing from her?
492
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:52,625
- Stopped hearing from her.
493
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:53,660
- Tell me your side
of the story, Ashley.
494
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:55,495
- Tyrice told me he had me.
495
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:57,330
He told me to just
come down there.
496
00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:59,032
So I got my ticket down there.
497
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:01,835
When we came back,
he just started asking, like,
498
00:15:01,835 --> 00:15:03,269
so you got my money?
499
00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:06,206
And I'm like,
what you mean, the money?
500
00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:08,575
You told me you had me
on this trip?
501
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:10,677
- So was y'all ever
in a relationship?
502
00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:12,212
- No, a friendship.
- Friendship.
503
00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:13,546
- But I love her.
- Yeah.
504
00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:14,948
- Like, spend the night.
505
00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:17,350
We'll sleep in my bed,
and don't nothing go down.
506
00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:18,885
- What was the purpose
of the trip?
507
00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:19,886
- To have a baby together.
508
00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:21,454
- Yeah, yeah.
- [laughs]
509
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:23,389
- Wait,
hold--hold--hold--hold--
510
00:15:23,389 --> 00:15:24,757
wait a minute.
511
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,526
- So y'all are intimate?
512
00:15:26,526 --> 00:15:27,594
- No, we ain't intimate.
513
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,929
We both broke wrist gang.
514
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:30,930
You know what I'm saying?
515
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,499
So you know what I'm saying?
516
00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:33,800
- So you gay?
517
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,134
- No, I'm fluid.
518
00:15:35,134 --> 00:15:37,203
I don't like to be put
in no box.
519
00:15:37,203 --> 00:15:40,006
If I meet you and I like you,
male, female, trans,
520
00:15:40,006 --> 00:15:41,474
it don't matter to me.
- OK.
521
00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:43,076
- If we got the right kind
of energy, it can go down.
522
00:15:43,076 --> 00:15:45,478
- You what we call in
the straight community greedy.
523
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:47,881
- Ooh.
- Oh.
524
00:15:47,881 --> 00:15:49,282
- Yeah, I eat it all up, baby.
525
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,917
- OK, you fluid,
and you a lesbian.
526
00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:51,918
- Yes.
527
00:15:51,918 --> 00:15:53,353
- And so you was
going to let him
528
00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:56,022
get you pregnant so y'all
can have a friendship baby.
529
00:15:56,022 --> 00:15:58,224
- Yeah, old-time, good old sex.
530
00:15:58,224 --> 00:16:00,527
- So Ashley, do you want
to carry his baby?
531
00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:01,694
- Yes, I do.
532
00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:03,096
- So y'all trying?
- Yeah.
533
00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:05,098
- We ain't trying
because she ain't--
534
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:06,666
I ain't talked to her
since Miami last year.
535
00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:08,635
- Wait a minute,
she ran out with your money
536
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:09,736
and the vagina?
537
00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:11,437
- Mm, mm, mm.
538
00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:13,540
- Yep.
[gavel bangs]
539
00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:18,245
- Tyrice wants half
the cost of his vacay
540
00:16:18,245 --> 00:16:20,046
he shared with
his friend Ashley.
541
00:16:20,046 --> 00:16:22,682
But Ashley thought
agreeing to have his baby
542
00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:24,451
should be more than
enough payment.
543
00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:26,820
Ms. Pat is about to settle it.
544
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:28,488
- Did you guys discuss
how you was splitting costs
545
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:29,823
before you went on this trip?
546
00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:30,991
- I got all the evidence
right here, Your Honor.
547
00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:31,992
- All right, well let me
see the evidence.
548
00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:33,260
- Oh, yeah.
549
00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:34,594
- She said she paid
for her flight--no.
550
00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:35,829
She paid for her hotel--
551
00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:36,963
no.
552
00:16:36,963 --> 00:16:38,131
She paid for her
food and drinks--no.
553
00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:40,801
She paid for her
excursions--no.
554
00:16:40,801 --> 00:16:44,838
- Look like you had
a pretty good trip, $5,405.98.
555
00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:45,839
Good God almighty.
556
00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:47,107
[laughter]
557
00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:48,742
Ashley, did you have
any idea how much
558
00:16:48,742 --> 00:16:50,076
money you was blowing through?
559
00:16:50,076 --> 00:16:51,344
- Oh, no.
560
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,213
I was just enjoying
the ride because I ain't
561
00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:54,714
never did nothing like this.
562
00:16:54,714 --> 00:16:58,051
I ain't never been, you know,
winding down like this.
563
00:16:58,051 --> 00:16:59,453
- The thing is,
Your Honor,
564
00:16:59,453 --> 00:17:00,854
when we first went on the trip,
she started off
565
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,322
with, like,
chicken and broccoli.
566
00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:04,558
Then she started upping
the ante and went to steaks,
567
00:17:04,558 --> 00:17:08,562
then lobsters, clams,
I mean, all kind--oysters.
568
00:17:08,562 --> 00:17:10,363
- He started hooking me up
to stuff like that.
569
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:11,832
You were showing me
something new.
570
00:17:11,832 --> 00:17:13,533
[laughter]
571
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:14,701
- You want her to have
a whole baby.
572
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,736
You don't want to buy
no shrimp?
573
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:18,271
- Every time?
- Yes.
574
00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:19,272
- Every time?
575
00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:20,373
I don't mind shrimp,
576
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:22,709
but lobsters, every time?
577
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,044
- Maybe she pescatarian.
578
00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:26,346
[laughter]
579
00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:27,547
- She ain't pescatarian
because she
580
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:28,548
was trying to get some meat.
581
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:31,284
[laughter]
582
00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:32,786
Why didn't you pay him back?
583
00:17:32,786 --> 00:17:34,488
- Because I'm telling you,
we was going
584
00:17:34,488 --> 00:17:35,722
to do the baby thing when we--
585
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:38,258
- Oh, she wanted to pay
with the puss.
586
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:39,893
- All right, jury,
help me settle this.
587
00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:41,394
OK?
588
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,463
- I believe that he's still
owed his money because
589
00:17:43,463 --> 00:17:45,198
even she said
she owe him money.
590
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:46,566
But do she owe him a baby?
591
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:47,868
Mm-mm.
592
00:17:47,868 --> 00:17:49,402
- I mean, she dress
like Beanie Sigel,
593
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:52,205
but if that's what you want,
you go get it.
594
00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:53,240
- You my girl.
595
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:54,407
You got the free trip.
596
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,209
She didn't give up no punani.
597
00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:58,945
I'm with you. You winning.
You winning. You winning.
598
00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:03,083
- Tyrice, give me
your final thoughts, baby.
599
00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:05,352
- Your Honor, I just want
my money back that Ashley
600
00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:07,020
promised to pay me.
- OK.
601
00:18:07,020 --> 00:18:08,121
- We had a great time.
602
00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:09,890
Those cover all
expenses, flight,
603
00:18:09,890 --> 00:18:12,726
hotel, drinks, fun, and more.
604
00:18:12,726 --> 00:18:14,661
- All right, what's
your final words, baby?
605
00:18:14,661 --> 00:18:18,031
- I'm sorry, and I do miss
our friendship.
606
00:18:18,031 --> 00:18:20,233
Well, that's a big number.
607
00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:22,435
That's a big ticket, and you
know I ain't got it like that.
608
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:23,603
- I really wish
you would have just told me,
609
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:24,604
hey, I'm struggling.
610
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:25,739
I'm broke.
611
00:18:25,739 --> 00:18:26,740
I'm struggling and broken.
612
00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:28,241
Right now, I can't pay you.
613
00:18:28,241 --> 00:18:29,743
- I really was,
but I really was embarrassed.
614
00:18:29,743 --> 00:18:30,944
- OK.
615
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:32,145
- Sometimes when
we don't have money,
616
00:18:32,145 --> 00:18:33,346
we get a little bit
embarrassed.
617
00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:34,714
You ever been broke
and embarrassed?
618
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:35,882
- No, sir.
619
00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:36,883
I used to steal.
620
00:18:36,883 --> 00:18:39,586
[laughter]
621
00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:41,855
After hearing everything
you both had to say,
622
00:18:41,855 --> 00:18:43,056
it's time for me to settle it.
623
00:18:43,056 --> 00:18:44,558
[gavel bangs]
624
00:18:44,558 --> 00:18:46,560
[suspenseful music]
625
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,562
I'm ruling in favor of...
626
00:18:48,562 --> 00:18:50,163
♪ ♪
627
00:18:50,163 --> 00:18:52,065
The plaintiff, Tyrice,
628
00:18:52,065 --> 00:18:56,303
in the amount of $2,702.98.
629
00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:57,637
She took the trip.
630
00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,472
Then she realized
she couldn't pay for the trip,
631
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:02,042
so she ran off with the snatch.
632
00:19:02,042 --> 00:19:04,444
A piece of advice,
don't get pregnant
633
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:06,379
until you have paid this bill.
634
00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:07,380
[gavel bangs]
635
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:08,949
That settles it.
636
00:19:08,949 --> 00:19:10,717
- You are dismissed.
637
00:19:10,717 --> 00:19:13,653
- Next time you can cut
the top off your turtleneck.
638
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,021
[laughter]
639
00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:16,022
- Give her a hug.
640
00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:17,457
Aw.
[applause]
641
00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:18,458
- There y'all go.
642
00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:19,559
Yeah.
643
00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:22,629
[laughter]
644
00:19:25,266 --> 00:19:26,700
- What did you do
with the money, Jackie?
645
00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:27,768
- I wanted to start my own
business doing pottery.
646
00:19:27,768 --> 00:19:29,203
- Don't look at it like that.
647
00:19:29,203 --> 00:19:31,105
- This is a piece of bread.
648
00:19:31,105 --> 00:19:32,940
- When I was showing her,
she was like,
649
00:19:32,940 --> 00:19:34,308
what the [bleep] is this?
650
00:19:34,308 --> 00:19:35,976
She a dream killer.
651
00:19:35,976 --> 00:19:38,045
- You said right here,
if you see a roach,
652
00:19:38,045 --> 00:19:39,213
there will be no rent.
653
00:19:39,213 --> 00:19:40,547
- We got a written contract.
654
00:19:40,547 --> 00:19:42,549
- I got a GED.
I can read, sir.
655
00:19:42,549 --> 00:19:44,151
- And that's great.
I'm glad you can.
656
00:19:44,151 --> 00:19:45,152
- Whoa.
657
00:19:45,152 --> 00:19:46,220
- I let Crystal borrow
658
00:19:46,220 --> 00:19:47,354
a very expensive
piece of jewelry,
659
00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:48,756
and she lost it.
660
00:19:48,756 --> 00:19:51,625
- I cannot start
because, girl--
661
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:52,826
- Y'all some
crying-ass bitches.
662
00:19:52,826 --> 00:19:54,528
- I'm sorry.
[laughter]