- You ain't never met a judge like me.
- Your Honor! Your Honor!
- Shut the hell up and let me get this thing together!
Hey, y'all, I'm Ms. Pat.
I know the inside of a courtroom.
Went to jail for selling cocaine.
Now here I am sitting on this side of the bench.
- I put my faith in your hands.
- I ain't God. I don't love you.
These are real cases with real money on the line.
What you do with the $5,000?
- I'll--I'll let you know. - Well, I'm here. Let me know.
- Let's just wrap this up,
'cause I'm getting very irritated.
- You keep running your mouth, you ain't gon' get nothing.
Court is now in session.
Baby, don't do me. Do Jesus,
'cause He got more patience with you, OK?
[gavel thuds]
- She's the only judge in America with a GED.
All rise for Ms. Pat.
[dramatic hip-hop music]
♪ ♪
- Hello. Y'all can be seated.
- Yeah, GED, "getting every dollar."
[laughter]
- All right, come on. Let's get started, bailiff.
- This is the case of Brown versus Brown.
- Plaintiff Justin Brown is suing his mom, Gail,
for $4,500.
He claims that she's been triple dipping
on financial support from her kids
and making it rain on the finer things in life.
But defendant Gail says
he wouldn't be on this Earth without her...
- She walk like she stole something. [chuckles]
- And her son better watch himself with this lawsuit,
'cause payback's a mother.
- [laughs]
- Before we get started,
I just want to let you know this is my jury, OK?
- What up? - Don't even look over there.
They can't help you. They're ghosts.
[laughter]
Only my opinion matters. OK? All right.
I'ma start with you, Justin. Tell me why we here today.
- First, let me say, I love my mama.
She's always taken care of me, always had my back.
And she always calling me talking about
how she's behind on her bills, her account's negative,
and there's just a lot on her plate.
So I was like, well, let me help you out.
Let me give you $500 a month for your mortgage.
I've been doing that for nine months, $4,500.
And then I'm on the phone with my sister-in-law.
And she was like, oh, funny. Me and Jake--my brother--
have been giving her $600 a month
for the mortgage, as well. - [laughs]
- Now, mind y'all-- mind y'all--
- Mama a pimp! [laughter]
- Her mortgage ain't nothing but $650.
If I'm giving you $500 and my brother is giving you $600,
that's $1,100.
And you spending it on drinking, going out,
instead of what it was for.
I'm not giving her money to go drink
and hang out with her friends.
- OK, Gail, can you please tell me
your side to this story?
- Well, I gave Justin life. [laughter]
- OK, period. - Yeah, you did.
- I'm his mom and a teacher.
He's had the best life.
And I think it's just time for me to take care of Gail,
since I've taken care of them all their life.
He shouldn't even be suing me for nothing.
Yeah, he need to add some more to it, tell you the truth.
- Hey. - That's right.
- She getting child support from her child.
[laughter] - That's right!
He needs to help me. - [laughing]
- And, yes, sometimes with my girlfriends,
we go out and have a few little cocktails
at my favorite place, Red Lobster and Longhorns.
I have to take care of me.
- Justin, you say your mother party a lot?
- Yes. Would you like to see evidence?
- Do you have any proof of that?
- Yes. - That brown make you clown.
[laughter]
- Who is this?
- That's her, as you see, with a fresh hairdo.
She's actually intoxicated in that picture.
Look at her! [laughter]
- It's time for me to live a little bit.
I'm not paying him nothing.
- [gasps] - Nothing.
- That's right. - So, Mama,
Justin claimed that you've been pimping him and his brother,
$500 from him and $600 from the brother.
- Mm-hmm. Yes.
- But the mortgage is only $650.
- I have more than a mortgage.
You know, we got water bill, light bill, cable, cell.
- You gotta eat. - Right!
You know how high food is in the grocery store now?
- And drink. [laughter]
- Drunk now. [laughter]
- And I'm still paying the cell phone bill.
And I've been paying their cell phone bills
ever since they were 18,
and I think it's time for me to have a break.
They should be paying my cell phone bill.
- OK.
- Why you paying his cell phone bill?
- 'Cause he's poor. - It sound like he's poor
because he's giving you all the money for your mortgage
that you going to Red Lobster and Longhorn and get drunk.
[laughter]
How much you spending on alcohol a week?
- A week, no more than about $30 or $40.
- Mm-mm. No, mm-mm. Bottle of Hennessy is $39.99.
What you drinking, Old Grand Dad?
- What are you drinking, baby,
gin and juice? - Tequila.
Tequil--tequil-- say it. Tequila.
[laughter]
- Baby, the sip you had so good today
you can't even get it out your mouth.
- I know it. - What I'm drinking, taqui--
- But the man at the store knows what I'm talking about
when I go up there. [laughs]
- The truth comes out. The man at the liquor store.
- All right, let's go to the jury.
Come on, help me out.
- Baby, Gail Brown, you my hero.
- Thank you.
- I'm about to start charging my damn sons.
This is ridiculous.
She eating all the Cheddar Bay biscuits.
I love it. [laughter]
- OK. Before I settle this,
do you have any final statements?
- Yes, absolutely.
I love you, and I will do everything for you.
I'm here, honestly, not because of the money.
I'm just here to hold you accountable.
I just think at your age,
senior citizen-- [laughter]
- My age? [laughter]
- Baby, when you said "senior citizen,"
she said, "bitch, who you talking to?"
[laughter]
OK, Ms. Gail.
- I did my part of teaching and working.
So it's your time now.
- Normally, it's expected that when your parents get old
they come live with you.
- Come on. Come on. - I wish my mother was alive
and I could take care of her.
- You're more than welcome to come live with me.
- Mm-mm. [laughter]
- Shut that down fast.
- Ms. Brown. - Yes?
- No child really want to see their parent struggle.
And for them to take money out of their own pocket
and leave their self struggling to help you is not right.
You got to be honest with people.
And you didn't even do the right thing with the money.
Now, Justin, I got to tell you, I'm a mom.
And as a mom, we will one day hope that
you would come back and take care of us.
You gave her that money to help her out
any which way she wanted to be helped out.
It's just according to her "help out"
was Longhorn and Red Lobster. [laughter]
OK, now I got to settle this once and for all.
[suspenseful music]
I'm ruling in favor of...
♪ ♪
Defendant, Ms. Gail.
- Thank you.
- At the end of the day, that is your mother.
You can't take back what you give her
'cause she can't take back the life that she gave you.
Now, that's your son,
and I hope y'all can work this out.
But the pimpin' is over, Ms. Gail.
- Yes, ma'am. [laughter]
- It's time for you to go out
and find you a man around your age
and get his Social Security check.
[laughter] - Exactly. Exactly.
- And you need to stay your ass out of Red Lobster.
[laughter] - I will.
- Now, that settles it.
Get out my courtroom. [gavel thuds]
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
- You are dismissed. - Bye, Ms. Gail.
Nice to meet you. - Bye, y'all.
- I would think somebody that age
would at least be selling pies.
She wasn't even selling pies.
- She was like, and "I ain't giving nothing back."
- I know what Brown she is, Nino.
[laughter]
- My cousin owes me for bottle service.
- When they pop bottle in Alabama,
it cost $15 after the party.
- They poppin' moonshine. - She's going to the club
and pulling that crap out her titties.
Whoo! I'm ready. [laughter]
- Sure am glad you're here.
We got some crazy people we got to show the light.
Y'all ready? - OK, girl.
- All right. Let's do it.
- This is the case of Adams versus Pickett.
- Plaintiff Anissa Adams is suing
her cousin Christina for $1,000.
She says that Christina straight up ran out
and left her with the tab after they threw down
all night at the club for Anissa's birthday.
Now, that takes the cake.
Defendant Christina Pickett says
she may have talked about footing the bill...
- Not the schoolteacher sweater.
- But is putting her foot down,
and never agreed to pay for anything.
- Little Red Riding Hood and a banana split.
[laughter]
All right. Come on, tell me why you're here today, Ms. Adams.
- I'm here to sue my cousin, Christina, for $1,000
because she owes me for bottle service.
She offered to pay, and I felt so thankful,
because I'm a poor teacher, sixth grade.
- OK. - I thought it was a nice gift
for my birthday. - Happy birthday.
- Thank you. My 40th. It was a big day.
So we go to the club, everybody's turnt.
We get to the end of the night.
The bottle service girls, they come with the bill.
I push the bill over to her way.
She pushes the bill over back to me.
So she acts like she has amnesia.
She ends up leaving somehow.
I get stuck with the bill, maxed out my credit card.
[audience groans] It was a whole scene.
The manager had to come in, everything.
- Go on, tell me your side, baby.
- That's not what happened.
Anissa called me telling me about her birthday.
I agreed to come up and buy decorations.
The bottle service, I have no idea where she gets that.
But I didn't agree to that part.
So the server brought me the ticket
and I told her I wasn't doing it.
I gave her back the ticket, she started screaming,
I stormed out.
And so that's why she had to pay for the bill.
I really feel like she owe me an apology for that,
for embarrassing me.
[laughter and groans]
- You ladies grew up close?
- Our moms are sisters.
- First cousins.
- Got it.
- Ms. Adams, tell me exactly how the conversation went.
- She brought up the bottle service.
She said, as a gift to me... - Mm-mm, did not. Mm-mm.
- After her birthday,
'cause we went to the same club that she went to.
And I thought it was really nice.
- You pay for her party?
- I did not.
But I did pay for your hookah, did I not,
and your drinks. - Mm-mm. I don't recall.
- She didn't get bottle service, though, right?
- We didn't get bottle service. - OK.
- See? - I want a quick reenactment.
Act it out, how you told her about those bottles.
- I was like, "Girl, it's your birthday.
"I need you to go ahead and pop them bottles.
It's your 40th. Let's do it."
- You just confused me, Christina.
- That sounded like you was gonna pay.
- Thank you!
- When you tell a man let's do it,
that mean y'all gonna do it. [laughter]
- You got any receipts, any videos?
- We have picture together.
We are all laughing, having a good-ass time.
- Oh, y'all look so cute.
Y'all was popping bottles. [laughter]
- OK. OK. - We had a good time.
- You one with the beige hair, right?
- That ain't beige, it's blonde.
- It's blonde. [laughter]
- Oh, I'm sorry. I thought-- [laughter]
- Texting about the party, too, right?
- Oh, yeah. - Uh-oh, we got the text.
- "Happy birthday, cuz. I love you."
- "Can't wait to see you tonight.
Thanks for taking care of it."
Ooh. - Oh, yeah. Hold on.
Who--you sent that?
- And you didn't respond and say,
"bitch, I ain't paying for this"?
- "It" means decoration.
"It" is decorations!
"It" is "it." She should've said bottles.
She never said bottles.
"It" is a thing. - Let me ask you something.
Christine, did you have the $1,000 to pay...
- No. - For your cousin birthday?
- I ain't making no money.
I work for State of Alabama.
That's the poorest-- [chuckles]
- Oh, so that's why you came up from Alabama.
- Yes.
- So when they pop bottle in Alabama,
it cost $15 after the party. [laughter]
- They poppin' moonshine. [laughter]
- She going to the club and
pulling that crap out her titties.
Whoo! I'm ready. [laughter]
- Big Red Riding Hood rolled right off
without paying the bill. [laughter]
- All right, I heard enough. I know what I want to do.
And let me tell you why I want to do this.
Don't be telling nobody to pop no bottles
when you ain't got no money in your pocket.
Poppin' bottles should never come out your mouth
unless you poppin' some Coca-Cola.
[laughter]
And you are an educator here in Cobb County.
I swear I think teachers are
the most underpaid people in the world,
what y'all have to deal with.
But on a teacher income, stay your ass out the club!
[laughter]
I'm gonna settle it right now.
[suspenseful music]
I'm ruling in the favor of...
♪ ♪
The plaintiff, Anissa Adams,
in the amount of $1,000.
And that settles it.
[gavel bangs] - [whistles]
[applause]
- Christine, next time, you speak clear.
I know you told that lady you gon' pay for that [bleep].
You know damn well you can't afford them bottles,
and neither can a teacher. Not even a baby bottle of milk.
[laughter] Get your ass out of here,
telling me we gon' be educated.
- I'm running. I'm running.
- You ever had people run out on you on a bill?
- I always got the bill, so they just kind of walk out.
You know what I mean? [laughter]
- I'd pay, like, for the food.
- So that's not paying rent.
- I mean, but it's contributing, though.
- If you in the house cooking bacon
and you ain't paid your rent, they will evict you naked.
[laughter]
- Jury, I need you to listen to the facts, too.
Because I might need you.
Ray J, don't listen, 'cause you don't pay attention.
- I'm in there like swimwear.
- You know damn well I can't wear no swimwear.
[laughter]
OK, bailiff, come on and give me the next case.
- This is the case of Hall versus McKeever.
You may now enter.
- Plaintiff Brandon Hall is suing his friend Joshua
for $4,110 in unpaid rent and phone bills.
He says that when Joshua was down-and-out,
he let him move into his apartment.
But Joshua never paid for anything.
He's a squatter who didn't pay squat.
Defendant Joshua McKeever says a money convo never came up.
And Brandon's friendship should be ride or die,
not pay to play.
- So, Brandon, tell me why you're here today.
- Your Honor, I'm here because I'm suing my best friend,
Joshua, for $4,110.
He needed a place to stay back in 2016.
I let him move in. I got him a job.
I got him a cell phone.
Since he didn't pay up, we are here now
and I'm looking for my $4,110.
- OK, Joshua, is this true?
- Your Honor--I can call you Your Honor, right?
[laughter] Honestly?
- Just don't call me "bitch." [laughter]
- All right, cool. [laughter]
- Your Honor, what he's saying is true.
Yes, we was roommates, but we never discussed rent
when he offered for me to live with him,
'cause I needed a place to stay at the time.
Yes, I could have paid him for that phone bill.
But the rent situation, that's a no at least.
- How much you think you owed him for the cell phone?
- I want to say about $600 maybe.
- Let me ask you something, Brandon.
When you moved Joshua in with you,
did y'all discuss any money? - At the time, no, ma'am.
He did not have a job, so you can't get water from a stone.
- You can get water from a turnip.
He look like one.
- Yes, ma'am. [laughter]
- But he ain't asked for the water, so--
- When you were staying at the crib,
did you have a room? - No.
- That's important. - Yeah, that's important.
- It's a very important point.
- Where did you sleep at?
- A air mattress in the living room.
- You slept on a air mattress? - Yes, ma'am.
[laughter]
- So why pay half if he didn't have a room?
- Let me say something to you guys.
'Cause, evidently, you never slept on a air mattress.
I guarantee you he went through several air mattresses...
- Oh, for sure. - That he probably replaced
to keep his friend from [bleep] up the carpet.
- Yes, ma'am. - [laughs]
- So how long y'all been friends?
- Your Honor, we've been best friends for over 30 years.
- 30 years? - Damn.
- Yeah, that's a fact.
- 30? How old are y'all?
- How have this affected y'all relationship?
- I mean, we stopped talking for like--
I forgot how long it was, but--
- Five years.
- Five years? - Wow.
- Over $4,100? - Yes, ma'am.
- Ooh.
So why didn't you ever pay rent?
I don't understand it.
You a grown man living in this man house.
- I'd pay, like, for the food,
I gave him a little money for the groceries.
- So that's not paying rent.
- I mean, but it's contributing, though.
- If you in the house cooking bacon
and you ain't paid your rent, they will evict you naked.
[laughter]
Why you get a grown-ass man a phone in the first place
with no job and he moved in with you?
- This is my brother.
This is my best friend. It's my twin.
- Y'all ain't in no relationship, are you?
- Absolutely not. - Nah. Lord.
- Absolutely not. - I'm engaged.
I'm engaged to a woman. - Oh, you engaged to a woman?
Are you living with her? - Mm-hmm.
- Getting engaged ain't free.
What did you do, you give her a ring
or did you lick her fingers? [laughter]
- Yes, ma'am, I definitely got her a ring.
- Where's your girl at?
Where's the ring at? - She's here.
- Come up here. Let me see that damn ring he bought you.
That he ain't paid no rent for.
- He have a cute girlfriend!
Look at her little nails done. OK!
- Got that hair laid. - Look at that little wig.
That cost at least 4 grand right there, the wig.
[laughter]
- Brandon, I think she got your rent money on her hand.
- Oh, absolutely, Your Honor.
Absolutely. [laughter]
Money for the ring but no money for the rent.
[audience groans]
- Did you get this ring appraised?
'Cause I don't know if I would trust him.
- I'm not materialistic.
- Well, hand over the ring, then.
Give him the ring back for the 4 grand if it don't matter.
You give her a ring pop right now.
- Thank you.
- We can settle this and go home!
- Thank you. [laughter]
- So, Brandon, before I make my final decision,
do you have anything else to say?
- Yes, ma'am. I take accountability
for not clearly stating the terms.
However, I'm just here to collect my $4,110.
- OK, Joshua, you got anything to say
before I make my decision? - Yes.
We've been best friends since diapers, all that good stuff.
We was roommates. It was fun.
I just think we need to get past this 4K.
And if we could do that, then I definitely want him
to be my best man. Like, for real.
- Would you accept being his best man?
- [sighs heavily] [audience groans]
[suspenseful music]
Once we get a judgment, we'll talk.
- Wow.
- Brandon Hall let ex-best friend Joshua crash at his pad
when he was down-and-out and now wants $4,110
for unpaid rent and phone bills.
But Joshua claims money was never discussed ahead of time.
Ms. Pat is about to lay down the hammer.
- Look at me, Brandon. You look like you a good dude.
But if you gonna do something for somebody,
tell them up front what they owe you.
- Yes, ma'am. - And, Joshua,
I don't understand at this time
how you can turn your back on your friend
over some money.
Then you had the audacity to go get engaged...
- Sure.
- With a big-ass rock on her finger.
I'm surprised he haven't robbed y'all.
[laughter] - That's crazy.
- OK, let me settle this once and for all.
[suspenseful music]
♪ ♪
I'm ruling in favor of...
♪ ♪
The plaintiff, Brandon, but not in the full amount.
You move him into a one-bedroom,
put him on a air mattress. [laughter]
I don't know who the hell would pay half the rent
when they don't have they own room.
I'm going to give you $660 for the cell phone bill,
and $200 for the air mattresses that I know he tore up.
- Yes, ma'am. [laughter]
- That's my decision and I settled it.
Now, wait a minute.
Before you go, I want you to settle up
letting him be your best man at your wedding.
[emotional rock music]
Talk to him, Joshua.
- So, 30-plus years, what are we doing?
Like, you my best man or nah?
Like, 'cause ain't nobody else filling that spot.
[audience awwing]
- Aw, look, he crying, y'all. - He miss his friend.
- Look at him. Your friend is crying.
- Don't do that. Come on. - Your friend is crying.
- Come on, now.
[applause]
[upbeat music]
- Bye-bye.
- That was nice. - That was so sweet.
- I knew he was gonna cry.
He had a receiving hairline. [laughter]
Boy, when your hair go thin, you go soft.
[laughter]
- I'm here suing my friend, Toya, for a food catering job.
I noticed she's drunk.
- Why was you drinking at a party
you were supposed to be working at?
- I was gonna drink regardless. - But you was at work.
- I'm here to sue Patrick to repaint my mom's house.
- Nate showed up with some back-alley paint.
- Where you buy the paint from, just in a alley?
"I got paint." Where did he get paint from?
- I don't know.
- I'm a diamond and this is sequins here.
[audience groans]
- He lives on planet Uranus.
- "Your anus"?
- He said "your anus" or Uranus?
- Uranus, the planet! - [laughs]