1
00:00:01,368 --> 00:00:02,235
- You ain't never
met a judge like me.
2
00:00:02,235 --> 00:00:03,670
- Your Honor! Your Honor!
3
00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:06,039
- Shut the hell up and let me
get this thing together!
4
00:00:06,039 --> 00:00:07,741
Hey, y'all, I'm Ms. Pat.
5
00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:10,343
I know the inside
of a courtroom.
6
00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:12,479
Went to jail for
selling cocaine.
7
00:00:12,479 --> 00:00:15,215
Now here I am sitting
on this side of the bench.
8
00:00:15,215 --> 00:00:16,316
- I put my faith in your hands.
9
00:00:16,316 --> 00:00:17,751
- I ain't God.
I don't love you.
10
00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:20,987
These are real cases
with real money on the line.
11
00:00:20,987 --> 00:00:22,589
What you do with the $5,000?
12
00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:25,525
- I'll--I'll let you know.
- Well, I'm here. Let me know.
13
00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:26,693
- Let's just wrap this up,
14
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:28,261
'cause I'm getting
very irritated.
15
00:00:28,261 --> 00:00:31,131
- You keep running your mouth,
you ain't gon' get nothing.
16
00:00:31,131 --> 00:00:32,832
Court is now in session.
17
00:00:32,832 --> 00:00:34,434
Baby, don't do me.
Do Jesus,
18
00:00:34,434 --> 00:00:36,369
'cause He got more patience
with you, OK?
19
00:00:37,137 --> 00:00:38,838
[gavel thuds]
20
00:00:38,838 --> 00:00:42,375
- She's the only judge
in America with a GED.
21
00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:44,544
All rise for Ms. Pat.
22
00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:45,845
[dramatic hip-hop music]
23
00:00:45,845 --> 00:00:48,348
♪ ♪
24
00:00:48,348 --> 00:00:50,350
- Hello.
Y'all can be seated.
25
00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:52,452
- Yeah, GED,
"getting every dollar."
26
00:00:52,452 --> 00:00:55,388
[laughter]
27
00:00:56,289 --> 00:00:58,425
- All right, come on.
Let's get started, bailiff.
28
00:00:58,425 --> 00:01:01,761
- This is the case of
Brown versus Brown.
29
00:01:01,761 --> 00:01:04,998
- Plaintiff Justin Brown
is suing his mom, Gail,
30
00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:06,699
for $4,500.
31
00:01:06,699 --> 00:01:08,802
He claims that
she's been triple dipping
32
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:11,004
on financial support
from her kids
33
00:01:11,004 --> 00:01:14,174
and making it rain on
the finer things in life.
34
00:01:14,174 --> 00:01:16,276
But defendant Gail says
35
00:01:16,276 --> 00:01:18,511
he wouldn't be on this Earth
without her...
36
00:01:18,511 --> 00:01:20,747
- She walk like she stole
something. [chuckles]
37
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:24,551
- And her son better watch
himself with this lawsuit,
38
00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:26,252
'cause payback's a mother.
39
00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:27,253
- [laughs]
40
00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:28,655
- Before we get started,
41
00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:30,590
I just want to let you know
this is my jury, OK?
42
00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:32,058
- What up?
- Don't even look over there.
43
00:01:32,058 --> 00:01:34,127
They can't help you.
They're ghosts.
44
00:01:34,127 --> 00:01:35,762
[laughter]
45
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:38,264
Only my opinion matters.
OK? All right.
46
00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:40,867
I'ma start with you, Justin.
Tell me why we here today.
47
00:01:40,867 --> 00:01:42,469
- First, let me say,
I love my mama.
48
00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:45,205
She's always taken care of me,
always had my back.
49
00:01:45,205 --> 00:01:47,173
And she always calling me
talking about
50
00:01:47,173 --> 00:01:50,743
how she's behind on her bills,
her account's negative,
51
00:01:50,743 --> 00:01:52,011
and there's just a lot
on her plate.
52
00:01:52,011 --> 00:01:53,446
So I was like,
well, let me help you out.
53
00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:55,915
Let me give you $500 a month
for your mortgage.
54
00:01:55,915 --> 00:01:58,985
I've been doing that
for nine months, $4,500.
55
00:01:58,985 --> 00:02:01,354
And then I'm on the phone
with my sister-in-law.
56
00:02:01,354 --> 00:02:04,390
And she was like, oh, funny.
Me and Jake--my brother--
57
00:02:04,390 --> 00:02:06,259
have been giving her
$600 a month
58
00:02:06,259 --> 00:02:08,061
for the mortgage, as well.
- [laughs]
59
00:02:08,061 --> 00:02:09,729
- Now, mind y'all--
mind y'all--
60
00:02:09,729 --> 00:02:13,266
- Mama a pimp!
[laughter]
61
00:02:13,266 --> 00:02:14,968
- Her mortgage ain't
nothing but $650.
62
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:18,204
If I'm giving you $500 and
my brother is giving you $600,
63
00:02:18,204 --> 00:02:19,539
that's $1,100.
64
00:02:19,539 --> 00:02:24,277
And you spending it on
drinking, going out,
65
00:02:24,277 --> 00:02:26,112
instead of what it was for.
66
00:02:26,112 --> 00:02:27,780
I'm not giving her money
to go drink
67
00:02:27,780 --> 00:02:28,948
and hang out with her friends.
68
00:02:28,948 --> 00:02:30,617
- OK, Gail,
can you please tell me
69
00:02:30,617 --> 00:02:31,851
your side to this story?
70
00:02:31,851 --> 00:02:35,121
- Well, I gave Justin life.
[laughter]
71
00:02:35,121 --> 00:02:36,422
- OK, period.
- Yeah, you did.
72
00:02:36,422 --> 00:02:38,992
- I'm his mom and a teacher.
73
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,960
He's had the best life.
74
00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:43,897
And I think it's just time
for me to take care of Gail,
75
00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:47,166
since I've taken care of them
all their life.
76
00:02:47,166 --> 00:02:49,469
He shouldn't even be suing me
for nothing.
77
00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:51,571
Yeah, he need to add some more
to it, tell you the truth.
78
00:02:51,571 --> 00:02:53,540
- Hey.
- That's right.
79
00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:55,975
- She getting child support
from her child.
80
00:02:55,975 --> 00:02:58,811
[laughter]
- That's right!
81
00:02:58,811 --> 00:03:00,914
He needs to help me.
- [laughing]
82
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:03,516
- And, yes, sometimes
with my girlfriends,
83
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:05,818
we go out and have
a few little cocktails
84
00:03:05,818 --> 00:03:09,722
at my favorite place,
Red Lobster and Longhorns.
85
00:03:09,722 --> 00:03:10,890
I have to take care of me.
86
00:03:10,890 --> 00:03:13,126
- Justin, you say
your mother party a lot?
87
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:14,427
- Yes. Would you like
to see evidence?
88
00:03:14,427 --> 00:03:15,595
- Do you have
any proof of that?
89
00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:17,363
- Yes.
- That brown make you clown.
90
00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:19,165
[laughter]
91
00:03:19,165 --> 00:03:20,466
- Who is this?
92
00:03:20,466 --> 00:03:23,903
- That's her, as you see,
with a fresh hairdo.
93
00:03:23,903 --> 00:03:28,308
She's actually intoxicated
in that picture.
94
00:03:28,308 --> 00:03:30,143
Look at her!
[laughter]
95
00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:32,278
- It's time for me
to live a little bit.
96
00:03:32,278 --> 00:03:33,746
I'm not paying him nothing.
97
00:03:33,746 --> 00:03:35,748
- [gasps]
- Nothing.
98
00:03:35,748 --> 00:03:37,350
- That's right.
- So, Mama,
99
00:03:37,350 --> 00:03:39,786
Justin claimed that you've been
pimping him and his brother,
100
00:03:39,786 --> 00:03:42,522
$500 from him and
$600 from the brother.
101
00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:44,357
- Mm-hmm. Yes.
102
00:03:44,357 --> 00:03:47,560
- But the mortgage
is only $650.
103
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:48,962
- I have more than a mortgage.
104
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:51,531
You know, we got water bill,
light bill, cable, cell.
105
00:03:51,531 --> 00:03:53,499
- You gotta eat.
- Right!
106
00:03:53,499 --> 00:03:56,035
You know how high food is
in the grocery store now?
107
00:03:56,035 --> 00:03:58,104
- And drink.
[laughter]
108
00:03:58,104 --> 00:04:00,340
- Drunk now.
[laughter]
109
00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:02,942
- And I'm still paying
the cell phone bill.
110
00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:04,544
And I've been paying
their cell phone bills
111
00:04:04,544 --> 00:04:06,379
ever since they were 18,
112
00:04:06,379 --> 00:04:08,348
and I think it's time for me
to have a break.
113
00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:10,049
They should be paying
my cell phone bill.
114
00:04:10,049 --> 00:04:11,184
- OK.
115
00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:12,685
- Why you paying
his cell phone bill?
116
00:04:12,685 --> 00:04:15,455
- 'Cause he's poor.
- It sound like he's poor
117
00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:17,690
because he's giving you all
the money for your mortgage
118
00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:20,526
that you going to Red Lobster
and Longhorn and get drunk.
119
00:04:20,526 --> 00:04:21,794
[laughter]
120
00:04:21,794 --> 00:04:23,663
How much you spending
on alcohol a week?
121
00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:26,332
- A week, no more than about
$30 or $40.
122
00:04:26,332 --> 00:04:30,103
- Mm-mm. No, mm-mm.
Bottle of Hennessy is $39.99.
123
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:32,572
What you drinking,
Old Grand Dad?
124
00:04:32,572 --> 00:04:33,840
- What are you drinking, baby,
125
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:34,841
gin and juice?
- Tequila.
126
00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:37,210
Tequil--tequil--
say it. Tequila.
127
00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:38,778
[laughter]
128
00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:40,613
- Baby, the sip you had
so good today
129
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:41,881
you can't even get it
out your mouth.
130
00:04:41,881 --> 00:04:43,950
- I know it.
- What I'm drinking, taqui--
131
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,252
- But the man at the store
knows what I'm talking about
132
00:04:46,252 --> 00:04:47,887
when I go up there.
[laughs]
133
00:04:47,887 --> 00:04:51,124
- The truth comes out.
The man at the liquor store.
134
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,325
- All right,
let's go to the jury.
135
00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:53,459
Come on, help me out.
136
00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:55,995
- Baby, Gail Brown,
you my hero.
137
00:04:55,995 --> 00:04:57,330
- Thank you.
138
00:04:57,330 --> 00:04:58,731
- I'm about to start charging
my damn sons.
139
00:04:58,731 --> 00:05:00,000
This is ridiculous.
140
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:00,033
This is ridiculous.
141
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,868
She eating all
the Cheddar Bay biscuits.
142
00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:04,437
I love it.
[laughter]
143
00:05:04,437 --> 00:05:05,738
- OK. Before I settle this,
144
00:05:05,738 --> 00:05:07,607
do you have any
final statements?
145
00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:09,075
- Yes, absolutely.
146
00:05:09,075 --> 00:05:12,145
I love you, and I will do
everything for you.
147
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,747
I'm here, honestly,
not because of the money.
148
00:05:14,747 --> 00:05:16,516
I'm just here to hold you
accountable.
149
00:05:16,516 --> 00:05:18,384
I just think at your age,
150
00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:19,819
senior citizen--
[laughter]
151
00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:22,455
- My age?
[laughter]
152
00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:24,190
- Baby, when you said
"senior citizen,"
153
00:05:24,190 --> 00:05:25,692
she said,
"bitch, who you talking to?"
154
00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:27,727
[laughter]
155
00:05:27,727 --> 00:05:29,262
OK, Ms. Gail.
156
00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:32,465
- I did my part of
teaching and working.
157
00:05:32,465 --> 00:05:33,933
So it's your time now.
158
00:05:33,933 --> 00:05:38,137
- Normally, it's expected that
when your parents get old
159
00:05:38,137 --> 00:05:40,006
they come live with you.
160
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:43,476
- Come on. Come on.
- I wish my mother was alive
161
00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:45,411
and I could take care of her.
162
00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:46,879
- You're more than welcome
to come live with me.
163
00:05:46,879 --> 00:05:50,116
- Mm-mm.
[laughter]
164
00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:52,118
- Shut that down fast.
165
00:05:52,118 --> 00:05:53,619
- Ms. Brown.
- Yes?
166
00:05:53,619 --> 00:05:56,355
- No child really want to see
their parent struggle.
167
00:05:56,355 --> 00:05:58,691
And for them to take money
out of their own pocket
168
00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:03,496
and leave their self struggling
to help you is not right.
169
00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:05,298
You got to be honest
with people.
170
00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:07,900
And you didn't even do
the right thing with the money.
171
00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:10,937
Now, Justin, I got to tell you,
I'm a mom.
172
00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:13,473
And as a mom,
we will one day hope that
173
00:06:13,473 --> 00:06:15,541
you would come back
and take care of us.
174
00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:18,277
You gave her that money to
help her out
175
00:06:18,277 --> 00:06:20,413
any which way she wanted to be
helped out.
176
00:06:20,413 --> 00:06:22,215
It's just according to her
"help out"
177
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:27,019
was Longhorn and Red Lobster.
[laughter]
178
00:06:27,019 --> 00:06:29,188
OK, now I got to settle this
once and for all.
179
00:06:29,188 --> 00:06:31,057
[suspenseful music]
180
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,859
I'm ruling in favor of...
181
00:06:32,859 --> 00:06:36,329
♪ ♪
182
00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:38,464
Defendant, Ms. Gail.
183
00:06:38,464 --> 00:06:40,500
- Thank you.
184
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:42,435
- At the end of the day,
that is your mother.
185
00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:44,270
You can't take back
what you give her
186
00:06:44,270 --> 00:06:46,873
'cause she can't take back
the life that she gave you.
187
00:06:46,873 --> 00:06:48,608
Now, that's your son,
188
00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:50,409
and I hope y'all can
work this out.
189
00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:52,378
But the pimpin' is over,
Ms. Gail.
190
00:06:52,378 --> 00:06:54,514
- Yes, ma'am.
[laughter]
191
00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:55,882
- It's time for you to go out
192
00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:58,718
and find you a man
around your age
193
00:06:58,718 --> 00:07:01,154
and get
his Social Security check.
194
00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:03,489
[laughter]
- Exactly. Exactly.
195
00:07:03,489 --> 00:07:05,925
- And you need to stay your ass
out of Red Lobster.
196
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,927
[laughter]
- I will.
197
00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:09,128
- Now, that settles it.
198
00:07:09,128 --> 00:07:10,963
Get out my courtroom.
[gavel thuds]
199
00:07:10,963 --> 00:07:12,398
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
200
00:07:12,398 --> 00:07:14,600
- You are dismissed.
- Bye, Ms. Gail.
201
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:15,701
Nice to meet you.
- Bye, y'all.
202
00:07:15,701 --> 00:07:16,969
- I would think
somebody that age
203
00:07:16,969 --> 00:07:18,905
would at least be selling pies.
204
00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:20,606
She wasn't even selling pies.
205
00:07:20,606 --> 00:07:22,608
- She was like, and
"I ain't giving nothing back."
206
00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:24,277
- I know what Brown she is,
Nino.
207
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,913
[laughter]
208
00:07:26,913 --> 00:07:29,315
- My cousin owes me
for bottle service.
209
00:07:29,315 --> 00:07:31,150
- When they pop bottle
in Alabama,
210
00:07:31,150 --> 00:07:32,985
it cost $15 after the party.
211
00:07:32,985 --> 00:07:35,955
- They poppin' moonshine.
- She's going to the club
212
00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:38,357
and pulling that crap
out her titties.
213
00:07:38,357 --> 00:07:40,626
Whoo! I'm ready.
[laughter]
214
00:07:42,396 --> 00:07:43,697
- Sure am glad you're here.
215
00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:45,265
We got some crazy people
we got to show the light.
216
00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:47,634
Y'all ready?
- OK, girl.
217
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:48,969
- All right. Let's do it.
218
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:52,706
- This is the case of
Adams versus Pickett.
219
00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:54,374
- Plaintiff Anissa Adams
is suing
220
00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:57,110
her cousin Christina
for $1,000.
221
00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:59,713
She says that Christina
straight up ran out
222
00:07:59,713 --> 00:08:02,182
and left her with the tab
after they threw down
223
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:05,152
all night at the club
for Anissa's birthday.
224
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,254
Now, that takes the cake.
225
00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:09,323
Defendant Christina Pickett
says
226
00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:11,725
she may have talked about
footing the bill...
227
00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:13,260
- Not the schoolteacher
sweater.
228
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:15,028
- But is putting
her foot down,
229
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:18,198
and never agreed to pay
for anything.
230
00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:20,500
- Little Red Riding Hood
and a banana split.
231
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,436
[laughter]
232
00:08:22,436 --> 00:08:25,238
All right. Come on, tell me why
you're here today, Ms. Adams.
233
00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:29,943
- I'm here to sue my cousin,
Christina, for $1,000
234
00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:32,512
because she owes me
for bottle service.
235
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,848
She offered to pay,
and I felt so thankful,
236
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:37,217
because I'm a poor teacher,
sixth grade.
237
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:38,552
- OK.
- I thought it was a nice gift
238
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:40,187
for my birthday.
- Happy birthday.
239
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:42,522
- Thank you.
My 40th. It was a big day.
240
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:45,459
So we go to the club,
everybody's turnt.
241
00:08:45,459 --> 00:08:47,227
We get to the end of the night.
242
00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:49,863
The bottle service girls,
they come with the bill.
243
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:52,466
I push the bill
over to her way.
244
00:08:52,466 --> 00:08:54,968
She pushes the bill
over back to me.
245
00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:58,071
So she acts like
she has amnesia.
246
00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:00,140
She ends up leaving somehow.
247
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:02,843
I get stuck with the bill,
maxed out my credit card.
248
00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:04,111
[audience groans]
It was a whole scene.
249
00:09:04,111 --> 00:09:05,545
The manager had to come in,
everything.
250
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:06,880
- Go on, tell me your side,
baby.
251
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,281
- That's not what happened.
252
00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:11,084
Anissa called me telling me
about her birthday.
253
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:13,687
I agreed to come up
and buy decorations.
254
00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:16,757
The bottle service, I have
no idea where she gets that.
255
00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:18,492
But I didn't agree
to that part.
256
00:09:18,492 --> 00:09:20,193
So the server brought me
the ticket
257
00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:21,628
and I told her
I wasn't doing it.
258
00:09:21,628 --> 00:09:23,430
I gave her back the ticket,
she started screaming,
259
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:24,798
I stormed out.
260
00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:26,566
And so that's why she had
to pay for the bill.
261
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,802
I really feel like she owe me
an apology for that,
262
00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:29,936
for embarrassing me.
263
00:09:29,936 --> 00:09:32,339
[laughter and groans]
264
00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:33,640
- You ladies grew up close?
265
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:34,941
- Our moms are sisters.
266
00:09:34,941 --> 00:09:35,942
- First cousins.
267
00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:37,444
- First cousins.
- Got it.
268
00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:40,247
- Ms. Adams, tell me exactly
how the conversation went.
269
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,215
- She brought up
the bottle service.
270
00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:44,151
She said, as a gift to me...
- Mm-mm, did not. Mm-mm.
271
00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:45,519
- After her birthday,
272
00:09:45,519 --> 00:09:46,920
'cause we went to the same club
that she went to.
273
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,622
And I thought it was
really nice.
274
00:09:48,622 --> 00:09:50,123
- You pay for her party?
275
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,358
- I did not.
276
00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:53,026
But I did pay for
your hookah, did I not,
277
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:55,729
and your drinks.
- Mm-mm. I don't recall.
278
00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:57,230
- She didn't get bottle
service, though, right?
279
00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:58,532
- We didn't get bottle service.
- OK.
280
00:09:58,532 --> 00:10:00,534
- See?
- I want a quick reenactment.
281
00:10:00,534 --> 00:10:03,103
Act it out, how you told her
about those bottles.
282
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,671
- I was like,
"Girl, it's your birthday.
283
00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:06,873
"I need you to go ahead
and pop them bottles.
284
00:10:06,873 --> 00:10:08,175
It's your 40th. Let's do it."
285
00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:10,310
- You just confused me,
Christina.
286
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:12,446
- That sounded like
you was gonna pay.
287
00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:14,114
- Thank you!
288
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,649
- When you tell a man
let's do it,
289
00:10:15,649 --> 00:10:18,985
that mean y'all gonna do it.
[laughter]
290
00:10:18,985 --> 00:10:20,754
- You got any receipts,
any videos?
291
00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:22,522
- We have picture together.
292
00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:25,492
We are all laughing,
having a good-ass time.
293
00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:28,161
- Oh, y'all look so cute.
294
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:30,764
Y'all was popping bottles.
[laughter]
295
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:32,766
- OK. OK.
- We had a good time.
296
00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:35,368
- You one with the beige hair,
right?
297
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:36,636
- That ain't beige,
it's blonde.
298
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:37,871
- It's blonde.
[laughter]
299
00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:40,474
- Oh, I'm sorry. I thought--
[laughter]
300
00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:42,042
- Texting about the party,
too, right?
301
00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:44,277
- Oh, yeah.
- Uh-oh, we got the text.
302
00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:46,480
- "Happy birthday, cuz.
I love you."
303
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:47,814
- "Can't wait
to see you tonight.
304
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,249
Thanks for taking care of it."
305
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:50,484
Ooh.
- Oh, yeah. Hold on.
306
00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:52,185
Who--you sent that?
307
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:53,353
- And you didn't respond
and say,
308
00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:55,288
"bitch,
I ain't paying for this"?
309
00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:57,457
- "It" means decoration.
310
00:10:57,457 --> 00:10:59,092
"It" is decorations!
311
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:01,294
"It" is "it."
She should've said bottles.
312
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:03,296
She never said bottles.
313
00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:05,065
"It" is a thing.
- Let me ask you something.
314
00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:07,367
Christine, did you have
the $1,000 to pay...
315
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:08,401
- No.
- For your cousin birthday?
316
00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:09,536
- I ain't making no money.
317
00:11:09,536 --> 00:11:11,137
I work for State of Alabama.
318
00:11:11,137 --> 00:11:13,006
That's the poorest--
[chuckles]
319
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,975
- Oh, so that's why you
came up from Alabama.
320
00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:16,142
- Yes.
321
00:11:16,142 --> 00:11:17,577
- So when they pop bottle
in Alabama,
322
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:20,013
it cost $15 after the party.
[laughter]
323
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,948
- They poppin' moonshine.
[laughter]
324
00:11:21,948 --> 00:11:23,016
- She going to the club and
325
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,452
pulling that crap
out her titties.
326
00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:27,587
Whoo! I'm ready.
[laughter]
327
00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:29,956
- Big Red Riding Hood
rolled right off
328
00:11:29,956 --> 00:11:32,626
without paying the bill.
[laughter]
329
00:11:32,626 --> 00:11:35,695
- All right, I heard enough.
I know what I want to do.
330
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,998
And let me tell you
why I want to do this.
331
00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:39,699
Don't be telling nobody
to pop no bottles
332
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,635
when you ain't got no money
in your pocket.
333
00:11:41,635 --> 00:11:43,803
Poppin' bottles should
never come out your mouth
334
00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:45,605
unless you poppin'
some Coca-Cola.
335
00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:47,474
[laughter]
336
00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:50,143
And you are an educator
here in Cobb County.
337
00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:51,912
I swear I think teachers are
338
00:11:51,912 --> 00:11:54,414
the most underpaid people
in the world,
339
00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:56,750
what y'all have to deal with.
340
00:11:56,750 --> 00:12:00,120
But on a teacher income,
stay your ass out the club!
341
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,656
[laughter]
342
00:12:02,656 --> 00:12:04,057
I'm gonna settle it right now.
343
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:06,393
[suspenseful music]
344
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:08,061
I'm ruling in the favor of...
345
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,697
♪ ♪
346
00:12:10,697 --> 00:12:13,233
The plaintiff, Anissa Adams,
347
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,068
in the amount of $1,000.
348
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,770
And that settles it.
349
00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:18,271
[gavel bangs]
- [whistles]
350
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:19,472
[applause]
351
00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,408
- Christine, next time,
you speak clear.
352
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,743
I know you told that lady
you gon' pay for that [bleep].
353
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,946
You know damn well
you can't afford them bottles,
354
00:12:25,946 --> 00:12:28,415
and neither can a teacher.
Not even a baby bottle of milk.
355
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,116
[laughter]
Get your ass out of here,
356
00:12:30,116 --> 00:12:31,985
telling me we gon' be educated.
357
00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:34,387
- I'm running. I'm running.
358
00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:36,623
- You ever had people
run out on you on a bill?
359
00:12:36,623 --> 00:12:39,159
- I always got the bill,
so they just kind of walk out.
360
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:40,000
You know what I mean?
[laughter]
361
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,461
You know what I mean?
[laughter]
362
00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:43,763
- I'd pay, like, for the food.
363
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,231
- So that's not paying rent.
364
00:12:45,231 --> 00:12:46,733
- I mean,
but it's contributing, though.
365
00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:48,468
- If you in the house
cooking bacon
366
00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:50,770
and you ain't paid your rent,
they will evict you naked.
367
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,573
[laughter]
368
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:56,876
- Jury, I need you to listen
to the facts, too.
369
00:12:56,876 --> 00:12:58,345
Because I might need you.
370
00:12:58,345 --> 00:13:00,113
Ray J, don't listen,
'cause you don't pay attention.
371
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,282
- I'm in there like swimwear.
372
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,017
- You know damn well
I can't wear no swimwear.
373
00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:05,719
[laughter]
374
00:13:05,719 --> 00:13:08,088
OK, bailiff, come on
and give me the next case.
375
00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:11,424
- This is the case
of Hall versus McKeever.
376
00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:12,926
You may now enter.
377
00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:15,295
- Plaintiff Brandon Hall
is suing his friend Joshua
378
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:19,366
for $4,110 in unpaid rent
and phone bills.
379
00:13:19,366 --> 00:13:21,868
He says that when Joshua was
down-and-out,
380
00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:23,737
he let him move
into his apartment.
381
00:13:23,737 --> 00:13:26,539
But Joshua never paid
for anything.
382
00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:29,142
He's a squatter
who didn't pay squat.
383
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:33,213
Defendant Joshua McKeever says
a money convo never came up.
384
00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:35,982
And Brandon's friendship
should be ride or die,
385
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:37,651
not pay to play.
386
00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:39,786
- So, Brandon, tell me
why you're here today.
387
00:13:39,786 --> 00:13:41,755
- Your Honor, I'm here because
I'm suing my best friend,
388
00:13:41,755 --> 00:13:44,524
Joshua, for $4,110.
389
00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:46,793
He needed a place to stay
back in 2016.
390
00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:48,461
I let him move in.
I got him a job.
391
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:49,729
I got him a cell phone.
392
00:13:49,729 --> 00:13:52,132
Since he didn't pay up,
we are here now
393
00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:54,668
and I'm looking for my $4,110.
394
00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:57,370
- OK, Joshua, is this true?
395
00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:58,805
- Your Honor--I can call you
Your Honor, right?
396
00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:00,073
[laughter]
Honestly?
397
00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:02,275
- Just don't call me "bitch."
[laughter]
398
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:04,044
- All right, cool.
[laughter]
399
00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:05,945
- Your Honor,
what he's saying is true.
400
00:14:05,945 --> 00:14:08,882
Yes, we was roommates,
but we never discussed rent
401
00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:10,917
when he offered for me
to live with him,
402
00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:12,285
'cause I needed a place
to stay at the time.
403
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:13,820
Yes, I could have paid him
for that phone bill.
404
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:16,423
But the rent situation,
that's a no at least.
405
00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:18,358
- How much you think you
owed him for the cell phone?
406
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,393
- I want to say
about $600 maybe.
407
00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:21,828
- Let me ask you something,
Brandon.
408
00:14:21,828 --> 00:14:23,663
When you moved Joshua in
with you,
409
00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:26,700
did y'all discuss any money?
- At the time, no, ma'am.
410
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:29,736
He did not have a job, so you
can't get water from a stone.
411
00:14:29,736 --> 00:14:31,271
- You can get water from
a turnip.
412
00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:32,272
He look like one.
413
00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:34,040
- Yes, ma'am.
[laughter]
414
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,775
- But he ain't asked
for the water, so--
415
00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:37,444
- When you were staying
at the crib,
416
00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:39,245
did you have a room?
- No.
417
00:14:39,245 --> 00:14:41,181
- That's important.
- Yeah, that's important.
418
00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:42,215
- It's a very important point.
419
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,350
- Where did you sleep at?
420
00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:44,684
- A air mattress in
the living room.
421
00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:46,986
- You slept on a air mattress?
- Yes, ma'am.
422
00:14:46,986 --> 00:14:48,722
[laughter]
423
00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:51,224
- So why pay half if
he didn't have a room?
424
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,926
- Let me say something
to you guys.
425
00:14:52,926 --> 00:14:55,261
'Cause, evidently, you never
slept on a air mattress.
426
00:14:55,261 --> 00:14:58,565
I guarantee you he went through
several air mattresses...
427
00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:00,934
- Oh, for sure.
- That he probably replaced
428
00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:03,703
to keep his friend from
[bleep] up the carpet.
429
00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:05,972
- Yes, ma'am.
- [laughs]
430
00:15:05,972 --> 00:15:07,507
- So how long y'all
been friends?
431
00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:09,442
- Your Honor, we've been best
friends for over 30 years.
432
00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:11,478
- 30 years?
- Damn.
433
00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:12,779
- Yeah, that's a fact.
434
00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:14,814
- 30? How old are y'all?
435
00:15:14,814 --> 00:15:16,950
- How have this affected
y'all relationship?
436
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:18,818
- I mean, we stopped talking
for like--
437
00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:20,387
I forgot how long it was, but--
438
00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:21,554
- Five years.
439
00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:23,523
- Five years?
- Wow.
440
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,227
- Over $4,100?
- Yes, ma'am.
441
00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:28,294
- Ooh.
442
00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:29,462
So why didn't you ever
pay rent?
443
00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:30,730
I don't understand it.
444
00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:32,332
You a grown man
living in this man house.
445
00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:34,501
- I'd pay, like, for the food,
446
00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:36,536
I gave him a little money
for the groceries.
447
00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:38,004
- So that's not paying rent.
448
00:15:38,004 --> 00:15:39,506
- I mean,
but it's contributing, though.
449
00:15:39,506 --> 00:15:41,241
- If you in the house
cooking bacon
450
00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:43,543
and you ain't paid your rent,
they will evict you naked.
451
00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:45,178
[laughter]
452
00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:47,380
Why you get a grown-ass man
a phone in the first place
453
00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:49,482
with no job
and he moved in with you?
454
00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:50,717
- This is my brother.
455
00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:51,885
This is my best friend.
It's my twin.
456
00:15:51,885 --> 00:15:52,986
- Y'all ain't in
no relationship, are you?
457
00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:54,154
- Absolutely not.
- Nah. Lord.
458
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:55,655
- Absolutely not.
- I'm engaged.
459
00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:58,358
I'm engaged to a woman.
- Oh, you engaged to a woman?
460
00:15:58,358 --> 00:15:59,993
Are you living with her?
- Mm-hmm.
461
00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:01,327
- Getting engaged ain't free.
462
00:16:01,327 --> 00:16:02,562
What did you do,
you give her a ring
463
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:05,298
or did you lick her fingers?
[laughter]
464
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:06,800
- Yes, ma'am,
I definitely got her a ring.
465
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:07,967
- Where's your girl at?
466
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,502
Where's the ring at?
- She's here.
467
00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:11,938
- Come up here. Let me see that
damn ring he bought you.
468
00:16:11,938 --> 00:16:13,006
That he ain't paid no rent for.
469
00:16:13,006 --> 00:16:14,774
- He have a cute girlfriend!
470
00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:16,309
Look at her little nails done.
OK!
471
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,978
- Got that hair laid.
- Look at that little wig.
472
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:21,047
That cost at least 4 grand
right there, the wig.
473
00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:23,183
[laughter]
474
00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:25,718
- Brandon, I think she got
your rent money on her hand.
475
00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:26,986
- Oh, absolutely, Your Honor.
476
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,822
Absolutely.
[laughter]
477
00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:30,790
Money for the ring
but no money for the rent.
478
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:32,058
[audience groans]
479
00:16:32,058 --> 00:16:33,560
- Did you get this ring
appraised?
480
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,328
'Cause I don't know
if I would trust him.
481
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,330
- I'm not materialistic.
482
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:38,998
- Well, hand over the ring,
then.
483
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,868
Give him the ring back for
the 4 grand if it don't matter.
484
00:16:41,868 --> 00:16:43,536
You give her a ring pop
right now.
485
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:44,671
- Thank you.
486
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:45,872
- We can settle this
and go home!
487
00:16:45,872 --> 00:16:47,240
- Thank you.
[laughter]
488
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:48,908
- So, Brandon, before I make
my final decision,
489
00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:50,477
do you have anything else
to say?
490
00:16:50,477 --> 00:16:52,312
- Yes, ma'am.
I take accountability
491
00:16:52,312 --> 00:16:53,847
for not clearly
stating the terms.
492
00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:57,951
However, I'm just here
to collect my $4,110.
493
00:16:57,951 --> 00:16:59,352
- OK, Joshua, you got
anything to say
494
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:01,254
before I make my decision?
- Yes.
495
00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:04,390
We've been best friends since
diapers, all that good stuff.
496
00:17:04,390 --> 00:17:06,659
We was roommates. It was fun.
497
00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:08,361
I just think we need
to get past this 4K.
498
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:09,896
And if we could do that,
then I definitely want him
499
00:17:09,896 --> 00:17:12,665
to be my best man.
Like, for real.
500
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:14,601
- Would you accept
being his best man?
501
00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:16,369
- [sighs heavily]
[audience groans]
502
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:19,806
[suspenseful music]
503
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:21,708
Once we get a judgment,
we'll talk.
504
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,543
- Wow.
505
00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:29,349
- Brandon Hall let ex-best
friend Joshua crash at his pad
506
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:33,286
when he was down-and-out
and now wants $4,110
507
00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:35,388
for unpaid rent
and phone bills.
508
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:39,392
But Joshua claims money was
never discussed ahead of time.
509
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:42,262
Ms. Pat is about to
lay down the hammer.
510
00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:45,232
- Look at me, Brandon.
You look like you a good dude.
511
00:17:45,232 --> 00:17:47,367
But if you gonna do
something for somebody,
512
00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:49,502
tell them up front
what they owe you.
513
00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:51,471
- Yes, ma'am.
- And, Joshua,
514
00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:52,906
I don't understand at this time
515
00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:54,841
how you can
turn your back on your friend
516
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:57,077
over some money.
517
00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:59,479
Then you had the audacity
to go get engaged...
518
00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:00,680
- Sure.
519
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,148
- With a big-ass rock
on her finger.
520
00:18:02,148 --> 00:18:04,517
I'm surprised
he haven't robbed y'all.
521
00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:07,320
[laughter]
- That's crazy.
522
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,155
- OK, let me settle this
once and for all.
523
00:18:09,155 --> 00:18:11,291
[suspenseful music]
524
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:12,292
♪ ♪
525
00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:15,061
I'm ruling in favor of...
526
00:18:15,061 --> 00:18:17,430
♪ ♪
527
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:20,233
The plaintiff, Brandon,
but not in the full amount.
528
00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:22,102
You move him into
a one-bedroom,
529
00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:24,204
put him on a air mattress.
[laughter]
530
00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:26,406
I don't know who the hell
would pay half the rent
531
00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:28,008
when they don't have
they own room.
532
00:18:28,008 --> 00:18:32,646
I'm going to give you $660
for the cell phone bill,
533
00:18:32,646 --> 00:18:36,683
and $200 for the air mattresses
that I know he tore up.
534
00:18:36,683 --> 00:18:38,885
- Yes, ma'am.
[laughter]
535
00:18:38,885 --> 00:18:41,021
- That's my decision
and I settled it.
536
00:18:41,021 --> 00:18:42,255
Now, wait a minute.
537
00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:43,523
Before you go,
I want you to settle up
538
00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:45,959
letting him be your best man
at your wedding.
539
00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:49,729
[emotional rock music]
540
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:51,731
Talk to him, Joshua.
541
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:54,067
- So, 30-plus years,
what are we doing?
542
00:18:54,067 --> 00:18:55,935
Like, you my best man or nah?
543
00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:58,571
Like, 'cause ain't nobody else
filling that spot.
544
00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:00,040
[audience awwing]
545
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:01,941
- Aw, look, he crying, y'all.
- He miss his friend.
546
00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:04,010
- Look at him.
Your friend is crying.
547
00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:06,112
- Don't do that. Come on.
- Your friend is crying.
548
00:19:06,112 --> 00:19:07,480
- Come on, now.
549
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,483
[applause]
550
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,052
[upbeat music]
551
00:19:12,052 --> 00:19:13,453
- Bye-bye.
552
00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:15,388
- That was nice.
- That was so sweet.
553
00:19:15,388 --> 00:19:17,190
- I knew he was gonna cry.
554
00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:20,560
He had a receiving hairline.
[laughter]
555
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:23,463
Boy, when your hair go thin,
you go soft.
556
00:19:23,463 --> 00:19:26,399
[laughter]
557
00:19:29,069 --> 00:19:29,937
- I'm here suing my friend,
Toya, for a food catering job.
558
00:19:29,937 --> 00:19:31,071
I noticed she's drunk.
559
00:19:31,071 --> 00:19:32,206
- Why was you drinking
at a party
560
00:19:32,206 --> 00:19:33,707
you were supposed
to be working at?
561
00:19:33,707 --> 00:19:35,676
- I was gonna drink regardless.
- But you was at work.
562
00:19:35,676 --> 00:19:38,512
- I'm here to sue Patrick
to repaint my mom's house.
563
00:19:38,512 --> 00:19:40,180
- Nate showed up with
some back-alley paint.
564
00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:41,849
- Where you buy the paint from,
just in a alley?
565
00:19:41,849 --> 00:19:43,350
"I got paint."
Where did he get paint from?
566
00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:44,885
- I don't know.
567
00:19:44,885 --> 00:19:46,887
- I'm a diamond and
this is sequins here.
568
00:19:46,887 --> 00:19:48,222
[audience groans]
569
00:19:48,222 --> 00:19:49,857
- He lives on planet Uranus.
570
00:19:49,857 --> 00:19:51,158
- "Your anus"?
571
00:19:51,158 --> 00:19:52,593
- He said "your anus"
or Uranus?
572
00:19:52,593 --> 00:19:53,594
- Uranus, the planet!
- [laughs]