1 00:00:01,067 --> 00:00:02,402 - You ain't never met a judge like me. 2 00:00:02,402 --> 00:00:03,536 - Your Honor. Your Honor. 3 00:00:03,536 --> 00:00:04,704 - Shut the hell up, 4 00:00:04,704 --> 00:00:06,005 and let me get this thing together. 5 00:00:06,005 --> 00:00:07,774 Hey, y'all. I'm Ms. Pat. 6 00:00:07,774 --> 00:00:10,543 I know the inside of a courtroom. 7 00:00:10,543 --> 00:00:12,512 Went to jail for selling cocaine. 8 00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:14,681 Now here I am, 25 years later, 9 00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,449 sitting on this side of the bench. 10 00:00:16,449 --> 00:00:17,650 - Put my faith in your hands. 11 00:00:17,650 --> 00:00:18,885 - Don't put your faith in my hand. 12 00:00:18,885 --> 00:00:20,186 I ain't God. I don't love you. 13 00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:22,155 I'm using everything I learned on the street. 14 00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:23,523 Don't nobody owe you nothing. 15 00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:25,392 To solve disputes that are tearing 16 00:00:25,392 --> 00:00:27,527 real family and friends apart. 17 00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:29,229 - I ain't care to find out. What's his is mine. 18 00:00:29,229 --> 00:00:30,497 - We ain't married. - We brothers. 19 00:00:30,497 --> 00:00:31,898 - Hey. 20 00:00:31,898 --> 00:00:34,868 These are real cases with real money on the line. 21 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,302 What you do with the $5,000? 22 00:00:36,302 --> 00:00:37,737 - I'll let you know. 23 00:00:37,737 --> 00:00:39,372 - Well, I'm here. Let me know. 24 00:00:39,372 --> 00:00:41,274 And I'm bringing my own family and friends 25 00:00:41,274 --> 00:00:42,642 to court as my jury. 26 00:00:42,642 --> 00:00:44,210 Their opinions are like diarrhea-- 27 00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:45,311 it belongs in the toilet. 28 00:00:45,311 --> 00:00:46,880 - You out of order. 29 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,815 Matter of fact, this whole damn courtroom is out of order! 30 00:00:48,815 --> 00:00:51,718 - Y'all may have started it, but I'm gonna settle it. 31 00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:53,019 - Let's just wrap this up, 32 00:00:53,019 --> 00:00:54,421 'cause I'm getting very irritated. 33 00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:55,755 - You keep running your mouth, 34 00:00:55,755 --> 00:00:57,323 you ain't gonna get nothing. 35 00:00:57,323 --> 00:00:58,825 Court is now in session. 36 00:00:58,825 --> 00:01:00,226 Baby, don't do me. 37 00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:02,228 Do Jesus, 'cause he got more patience with you. 38 00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:03,229 Okay? 39 00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:05,565 [hip-hop music] 40 00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:08,435 - All rise for the Honorable Ms. Pat. 41 00:01:08,435 --> 00:01:11,171 [tense music] 42 00:01:11,171 --> 00:01:13,740 She's not a real judge, but she will sentence you 43 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:16,142 to life for being a fool. 44 00:01:16,142 --> 00:01:17,877 - Y'all can have a seat. 45 00:01:17,877 --> 00:01:20,613 I try really hard to find a good jury. 46 00:01:20,613 --> 00:01:22,549 But it's just y'all. 47 00:01:22,549 --> 00:01:24,651 [laughter] 48 00:01:25,885 --> 00:01:27,086 Bailiff, start them up. 49 00:01:27,086 --> 00:01:28,254 - All right. 50 00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:31,825 This is the case of Calderone v. Lopez. 51 00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:34,027 - Plaintiff Karen Calderone is suing 52 00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:36,362 her friend, Sam, for $1,000. 53 00:01:36,362 --> 00:01:38,164 She gave Sam a key to her apartment 54 00:01:38,164 --> 00:01:39,866 while she was busy out of town. 55 00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:43,203 So Sam brought a man over and got busy on her couch. 56 00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:46,506 Karen wants $1,000 for a new couch, 57 00:01:46,506 --> 00:01:47,941 and to change the damn locks. 58 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:50,944 Defendant Sam Lopez says Karen needs to relax, 59 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:54,247 and is just salty because her love life is spicier. 60 00:01:56,549 --> 00:01:58,051 - This is a jury of my peers. 61 00:01:58,051 --> 00:01:59,285 They're like my back teeth. 62 00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:00,587 I may or may not use them. 63 00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:03,356 [laughter] 64 00:02:03,356 --> 00:02:05,225 With that said, can you please tell me 65 00:02:05,225 --> 00:02:06,493 why you're here, Karen? 66 00:02:06,493 --> 00:02:08,461 - Yes. I'm here suing my best friend 67 00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:10,897 because I gave her a key to look over my house, 68 00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:12,499 when I go on vacation. 69 00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:15,001 And she thought it was a really good idea to come 70 00:02:15,001 --> 00:02:17,937 and sleep with her man at my house. 71 00:02:17,937 --> 00:02:21,140 So I'm suing her for $1,000 to replace the couch, 72 00:02:21,140 --> 00:02:23,843 and also to replace the locks. 73 00:02:23,843 --> 00:02:25,578 - Tell me your part, Samantha. 74 00:02:25,578 --> 00:02:27,146 - I went over there with my boy toy one night, 75 00:02:27,146 --> 00:02:29,315 after a fun time. 76 00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:31,251 - What was the key was supposed to be used for? 77 00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:33,052 - She said emergencies. 78 00:02:33,052 --> 00:02:35,121 - So she gave you the emergency key, 79 00:02:35,121 --> 00:02:37,423 and you used it for emergency D? 80 00:02:37,423 --> 00:02:39,359 [laughter] 81 00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:40,693 - Pretty much. 82 00:02:40,693 --> 00:02:41,928 - I'm a single mom. 83 00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:44,030 And my kids are always home, obviously. 84 00:02:44,030 --> 00:02:45,932 And she was away on vacation. 85 00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:48,535 I just thought it was the perfect opportunity 86 00:02:48,535 --> 00:02:50,770 just to get my freak on. I mean-- 87 00:02:50,770 --> 00:02:51,971 - How many kids you got? 88 00:02:51,971 --> 00:02:53,172 - Five kids. 89 00:02:53,172 --> 00:02:55,475 - You trying to get six, seven, and eight? 90 00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:57,577 - This has been, like, the second or third time 91 00:02:57,577 --> 00:02:59,779 that I'm on vacation, and when I come back, 92 00:02:59,779 --> 00:03:00,980 shit's [bleep] everywhere. 93 00:03:00,980 --> 00:03:02,282 So I put a camera in. 94 00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:05,518 And sure enough, she was doing what she was doing. 95 00:03:05,518 --> 00:03:07,153 - No, she wasn't rocking on your couch. 96 00:03:07,153 --> 00:03:08,855 - She did. It's actually a sectional. 97 00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:10,123 And the whole other side of the-- 98 00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:11,691 - Wait. a sex-- - A sectional. 99 00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:14,594 - No, a sectional. [laughter] 100 00:03:14,594 --> 00:03:15,895 And the one side of the sectional 101 00:03:15,895 --> 00:03:17,230 was completely on the other side. 102 00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:19,032 - So she has sex on the sectional. 103 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,466 Okay. - Yeah, exactly. 104 00:03:20,466 --> 00:03:22,602 - Please, tell me she didn't leave no stains. 105 00:03:22,602 --> 00:03:24,537 - She did. 106 00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:26,239 - So she claims. 107 00:03:26,239 --> 00:03:28,541 - That's why deep cleaning it is not gonna cut it. 108 00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:30,743 I'm gonna need a whole nother couch. 109 00:03:30,743 --> 00:03:32,979 - Is there any way for us to see the video? 110 00:03:32,979 --> 00:03:34,948 [laughter] 111 00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:36,683 - 'Cause he knows all about video. 112 00:03:36,683 --> 00:03:38,851 [laughter] 113 00:03:38,851 --> 00:03:41,220 Just had to throw that one in there. 114 00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:43,756 - You set yourself up for that one. 115 00:03:44,824 --> 00:03:46,526 - That was low. - I'm sorry. 116 00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:48,861 - But seriously, I want to see the evidence. 117 00:03:48,861 --> 00:03:50,663 Do you have any evidence of her bringing somebody? 118 00:03:50,663 --> 00:03:51,931 - I do. - Is it a video? 119 00:03:51,931 --> 00:03:53,566 - Yes, it's a video. - Oh, it's a video. 120 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:54,834 - Of what? 121 00:03:54,834 --> 00:03:57,203 - Let me put my glasses on for this one. 122 00:03:57,203 --> 00:03:58,271 - Oh, God. 123 00:03:59,839 --> 00:04:01,941 - That's that good Ring camera. - [laughs] 124 00:04:01,941 --> 00:04:04,277 - Oh, girl you gotta angle it right too. 125 00:04:04,277 --> 00:04:05,912 - Oh, she had him by the hand. 126 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,313 - Yes, she did. 127 00:04:07,313 --> 00:04:08,615 - Look at him rubbing her butt. 128 00:04:08,615 --> 00:04:09,682 - He grabbing her booty and everything. 129 00:04:09,682 --> 00:04:11,017 - Oh. 130 00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:14,153 [all whooping] 131 00:04:14,153 --> 00:04:15,989 - Keep playing. Keep playing. 132 00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:18,625 [laughter] 133 00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:20,593 - Girl, you a freak! 134 00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:24,297 - Ain't waste no time. 135 00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:26,532 - You didn't even get a glass of water. 136 00:04:26,532 --> 00:04:29,002 - I mean, she gave her a key and told her she could come, 137 00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:30,336 so she came. 138 00:04:30,336 --> 00:04:31,871 - She did what she did. 139 00:04:31,871 --> 00:04:33,640 - How would you feel if she did this at your house? 140 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,675 - Why can't she just be happy for me? 141 00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:37,176 - Because he's not good for you. 142 00:04:37,176 --> 00:04:38,444 - Just be happy for her? 143 00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:40,647 - She deserves a rich man, who's gonna take 144 00:04:40,647 --> 00:04:42,448 care of her and take care-- 145 00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:43,816 - We all deserve a rich man. Ain't-- 146 00:04:43,816 --> 00:04:44,817 - Exactly. 147 00:04:44,817 --> 00:04:47,320 Ray J, my friend. 148 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:49,389 - I got a tattoo. 149 00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:51,658 - How about just somebody like Chris and be happy? 150 00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:52,825 - You're not getting a Bentley. 151 00:04:52,825 --> 00:04:54,093 Settle for a nice Honda. 152 00:04:54,093 --> 00:04:56,029 [laughter] 153 00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:57,296 - Jury, what do you guys think? 154 00:04:57,296 --> 00:04:58,331 - I don't know. 155 00:04:58,331 --> 00:05:00,000 I just feel like you a hater, man. 156 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:00,099 I just feel like you a hater, man. 157 00:05:00,099 --> 00:05:01,267 Let her get her freak on. 158 00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:02,835 Ain't nothing wrong with it. 159 00:05:02,835 --> 00:05:04,904 I mean, if I had to pay for every couch I got [bleep] on, 160 00:05:04,904 --> 00:05:06,339 I'd be broke. 161 00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:07,907 - Right. 162 00:05:07,907 --> 00:05:09,175 - Can we see the stain? 163 00:05:09,175 --> 00:05:10,576 - That's important. - Yeah. 164 00:05:10,576 --> 00:05:13,446 - We haven't seen the actual size of the stain. 165 00:05:13,446 --> 00:05:15,248 - I don't care nothing about no stain. 166 00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:16,616 - We gotta see the stain. - The stain-- 167 00:05:16,616 --> 00:05:18,718 - Ray J, Ray J, Ray J. You are out of order. 168 00:05:18,718 --> 00:05:20,019 - No, you out of order. 169 00:05:20,019 --> 00:05:21,421 As a matter of fact, this whole damn courtroom 170 00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:23,322 is out of order! 171 00:05:23,322 --> 00:05:25,625 - You better sit your ass down. 172 00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:27,360 - I'm sorry, Judge. 173 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:30,430 - Samantha, I'm not for you walking in somebody's house 174 00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:32,131 and get turned upside down. 175 00:05:32,131 --> 00:05:33,700 But I can understand when you're 176 00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:35,702 in that heat of the moment, and, you know, 177 00:05:35,702 --> 00:05:37,937 your drawers get to popping like Pop Rocks... 178 00:05:37,937 --> 00:05:39,439 [laughter] 179 00:05:39,439 --> 00:05:40,840 sometimes you just can't control 180 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,842 what things comes off at. 181 00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:45,878 But you can't be tuning your rocket socket up 182 00:05:45,878 --> 00:05:47,580 on somebody else's couch. 183 00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:48,614 - That's right. 184 00:05:48,614 --> 00:05:49,982 - I mean, think about this. 185 00:05:49,982 --> 00:05:52,885 Has she not had camera, she could have came home, 186 00:05:52,885 --> 00:05:54,887 put on BET+, 187 00:05:54,887 --> 00:05:58,391 watching "The Ms. Pat Show," put a pillow up on her head, 188 00:05:58,391 --> 00:06:01,194 and caught that whole situation in her face. 189 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,462 - Mm-hmm. 190 00:06:02,462 --> 00:06:04,997 - This is a prime reason why all grandparents 191 00:06:04,997 --> 00:06:06,999 had plastic on the couch. 192 00:06:06,999 --> 00:06:08,201 [laughter] 193 00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:09,802 I'm gonna settle this once and for all. 194 00:06:09,802 --> 00:06:11,971 [suspenseful music] 195 00:06:11,971 --> 00:06:15,074 I'm ruling in favor of... 196 00:06:15,074 --> 00:06:16,476 the plaintiff, Karen, 197 00:06:16,476 --> 00:06:18,878 in the amount of $1,000 for your couch. 198 00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:20,847 - Thank you. - You know what? 199 00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:22,615 I'm gonna throw in a black light 200 00:06:22,615 --> 00:06:24,083 to make sure you can-- - Thank you. 201 00:06:24,083 --> 00:06:25,351 - Find DNA in your house. 202 00:06:25,351 --> 00:06:27,653 [laughter and applause] 203 00:06:28,988 --> 00:06:30,523 My decision is final. 204 00:06:31,524 --> 00:06:33,559 Now get your hot vagina out of here. 205 00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:35,361 [laughter] 206 00:06:35,361 --> 00:06:37,864 [applause] 207 00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:40,366 Come on, Ray J, where's the freakiest place 208 00:06:40,366 --> 00:06:41,434 you ever did it? 209 00:06:41,434 --> 00:06:43,536 - In the casket at the mortuary. 210 00:06:43,536 --> 00:06:45,037 - In the casket? 211 00:06:45,037 --> 00:06:46,205 - Were you at somebody's funeral? 212 00:06:46,205 --> 00:06:47,440 - After hours. 213 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:48,941 - Did we know that dead person? - No, no. 214 00:06:48,941 --> 00:06:50,042 Nobody was dead. 215 00:06:50,042 --> 00:06:51,444 It was--we was alive. 216 00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:52,612 - Oh. 217 00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:54,947 [laughter] 218 00:06:54,947 --> 00:06:57,583 You know where our minds went. 219 00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:59,719 - Came out of the bathroom. I went outside. 220 00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:00,987 My car wasn't in the parking lot. 221 00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:02,955 - You got catfished and carjacked, 222 00:07:02,955 --> 00:07:04,590 all in the same day. 223 00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:06,392 - He's a real piece of work, Your Honor. 224 00:07:06,392 --> 00:07:07,627 - Are y'all in a relationship? 225 00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:08,795 Have you ever had sex with that? 226 00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:10,062 I mean, him. 227 00:07:10,062 --> 00:07:11,831 - Would never, ever on the devil's bed. 228 00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:13,166 - For real? 229 00:07:18,037 --> 00:07:20,340 - Can we please get this party started, bailiff? 230 00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:22,542 [percussive music] 231 00:07:22,542 --> 00:07:23,810 ♪ ♪ 232 00:07:23,810 --> 00:07:27,513 - This is the case of Mongery v. Fisher. 233 00:07:27,513 --> 00:07:29,549 - Plaintiff, Nigel Mongery is suing 234 00:07:29,549 --> 00:07:31,784 his best friend, Keenan, for five grand, 235 00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:33,920 the amount he loaned him for a new car. 236 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,155 Defendant, Keenan Fisher took that car 237 00:07:36,155 --> 00:07:37,657 to Jersey to meet a girl. 238 00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:40,893 She stole his heart, then she stole his ride. 239 00:07:40,893 --> 00:07:43,730 Keenan knows he's in the friendship doghouse, 240 00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:46,032 but thought the cash was a gift. 241 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,035 - All right. Well, let's get the party started. 242 00:07:49,035 --> 00:07:51,104 Nigel, tell me why we're here today. 243 00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:53,940 - Well, I'm here suing my former friend, 244 00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:55,975 Keenan, for $5,000. 245 00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:58,644 I loaned Keenan $5,000 to buy a car 246 00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:00,713 because he was starting a job. 247 00:08:00,713 --> 00:08:04,650 And for some odd reason, he took a 15-hour trip 248 00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:08,221 from Alabama to New Jersey to meet a girl he met online. 249 00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:10,623 Long story short, she turned out to be a scammer. 250 00:08:10,623 --> 00:08:13,393 Steals the car, and the police couldn't find it. 251 00:08:13,393 --> 00:08:16,829 When he finally got back, he overslept for his job, 252 00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:18,865 and lost the job before he even started it. 253 00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:20,233 - Damn, man. 254 00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:24,771 - Well, Keenan, tell me your half of the story. 255 00:08:24,771 --> 00:08:28,941 - Did Nigel gift me $5,000? Yes. 256 00:08:28,941 --> 00:08:30,576 Was it for a car? Yes. 257 00:08:30,576 --> 00:08:32,445 Was that car stolen in New Jersey 258 00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:33,813 by a girl I met online? 259 00:08:33,813 --> 00:08:35,014 Yes. 260 00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:37,517 [laughter] 261 00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,719 - You see, he's a real piece of work, Your Honor. 262 00:08:39,719 --> 00:08:41,687 - So you got the $5,000. 263 00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:43,790 And what happened when you get the $5,000? 264 00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:45,458 - I got the car the next day. 265 00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:46,559 - Okay. 266 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:48,628 - And the day after that, 267 00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:51,798 I made plans to go to New Jersey. 268 00:08:51,798 --> 00:08:52,999 And I met the girl. 269 00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:54,367 We hung out for a little bit. 270 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:57,069 And we decided to go get something to eat. 271 00:08:57,069 --> 00:08:59,906 I went inside, had to use the bathroom. 272 00:08:59,906 --> 00:09:01,641 She said she left her vape in the car. 273 00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:03,810 So I gave her the keys to go get it out. 274 00:09:03,810 --> 00:09:06,913 And I came out of the bathroom, went outside, 275 00:09:06,913 --> 00:09:08,648 my car wasn't in the parking lot. 276 00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:10,149 [laughter] 277 00:09:10,149 --> 00:09:12,218 - You got catfished and carjacked, 278 00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:14,320 all in the same day. 279 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:16,222 - Wasn't catfish. She was real. - No she wasn't. 280 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,624 That's why she ran away from you so fast. 281 00:09:20,092 --> 00:09:21,694 And how did you get out of New Jersey? 282 00:09:21,694 --> 00:09:24,263 Don't tell me Nigel bought you a plane ticket or bus ticket. 283 00:09:24,263 --> 00:09:25,465 - He did. 284 00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:26,833 [audience groans] 285 00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:28,000 - Damn. 286 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,469 - Nigel, is you in love with him? 287 00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:31,437 - No. No, Your Honor. 288 00:09:31,437 --> 00:09:33,306 We talk every day because we play video games 289 00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:34,440 all the time together. 290 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:35,775 - How old are you, 30 something? 291 00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:36,776 - I'm 25. 292 00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:38,444 - He's 20-- - 25? 293 00:09:39,879 --> 00:09:41,180 Slam in again, baby. 294 00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:42,281 Slam in again. 295 00:09:42,281 --> 00:09:43,683 - What was this job? 296 00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:45,685 - He was a Christmas light stringer, actually. 297 00:09:45,685 --> 00:09:47,220 - What's a Christmas light stringer? 298 00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:48,921 They put the star on the tree? 299 00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:50,756 - Well, they put the lights on the houses 300 00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:52,191 for people who don't want to do it themselves. 301 00:09:52,191 --> 00:09:54,093 [laughter] 302 00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:56,095 So he was like the little dude that climbs the ladder 303 00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:58,097 and puts up the Christmas lights. 304 00:09:58,097 --> 00:09:59,966 - When they wanted the elf and the lights-- 305 00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:01,167 - Yeah, they call him. 306 00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:02,235 Yeah. 307 00:10:03,569 --> 00:10:06,639 - So what do you do in this spring, in the fall? 308 00:10:06,639 --> 00:10:09,442 - My friend's dad has a bouncy house business. 309 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,110 [laughter] 310 00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:14,514 - So you loaned $5,000 to a bounce house manager 311 00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:16,749 and a light stringer? - Yes, ma'am. 312 00:10:16,749 --> 00:10:18,918 - Do that sound like that's a wise investment to you? 313 00:10:18,918 --> 00:10:22,255 He only can make payments seasonally. 314 00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:23,823 - Right. 315 00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:25,291 - Do you have the police report? 316 00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:26,425 - I do. It's right here. 317 00:10:26,425 --> 00:10:27,860 - Let me have it, bailiff. 318 00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:29,295 - Do you remember what you bought? 319 00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:30,463 - I do. Yeah. - What was it? 320 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,532 - It was a black Chevy Cobalt. 321 00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:36,002 - Victim claims that while he was on a date with a girl, 322 00:10:36,002 --> 00:10:37,803 she drove off with his car. 323 00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:39,105 - So that was-- 324 00:10:39,105 --> 00:10:40,706 that day was the last time I ever saw her. 325 00:10:40,706 --> 00:10:43,943 - Sir, do you not know how to pick up hookers? 326 00:10:43,943 --> 00:10:45,878 You don't give them your keys. 327 00:10:45,878 --> 00:10:50,149 - I also did lose my job before I started it. 328 00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:52,118 But I've got a good reason for that. 329 00:10:52,118 --> 00:10:53,152 - At least he honest. 330 00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:56,322 - So I went to sleep that afternoon. 331 00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,925 And while I was sleeping, 332 00:10:58,925 --> 00:11:00,693 I dreamt that I was at work. 333 00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:03,062 - You overslept for your nighttime job 334 00:11:03,062 --> 00:11:05,665 because it was during the day and you thought it was night? 335 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,500 - I thought I was already there. 336 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,235 - Was your shirt that tight in your dream? 337 00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:11,470 [laughter] 338 00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:14,574 - So let me get one thing straight. 339 00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:18,311 You clocked in to your new job in your sleep? 340 00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:19,879 - Yes. 341 00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:21,681 - And this your friend? 342 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,282 [laughter] 343 00:11:23,282 --> 00:11:25,952 Did you get fired in real life and in your dream? 344 00:11:25,952 --> 00:11:27,653 - Not in the dream, but in real life, yes. 345 00:11:27,653 --> 00:11:29,188 - If you was woke, you couldn't have got there anyway, 346 00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:30,456 because you ain't had no car. 347 00:11:32,058 --> 00:11:33,759 - Keenan, when he gave you that money, 348 00:11:33,759 --> 00:11:35,728 he said it was a gift? 349 00:11:35,728 --> 00:11:37,563 - I was under the assumption that it was a gift. 350 00:11:37,563 --> 00:11:39,332 - Nigel, what did you think it was? 351 00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:41,067 - We had a whole conversation, Your Honor. 352 00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:42,835 - You got a text message or anything? 353 00:11:42,835 --> 00:11:44,737 - Well, we sat down and talked about it verbally. 354 00:11:44,737 --> 00:11:46,839 - Were you dreaming during the conversation? 355 00:11:46,839 --> 00:11:48,341 - No, Your Honor. 356 00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:50,309 - I don't know what you was thinking. 357 00:11:50,309 --> 00:11:52,678 Do he look like he will pay back $5,000? 358 00:11:52,678 --> 00:11:54,013 No. 359 00:11:54,013 --> 00:11:56,315 I can't believe you was that irresponsible. 360 00:11:56,315 --> 00:11:57,483 Look at him. 361 00:11:57,483 --> 00:12:00,353 [hip-hop music] 362 00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:02,788 [laughter] 363 00:12:02,788 --> 00:12:04,523 Can't keep a steady job. 364 00:12:04,523 --> 00:12:06,192 Can't buy his own car. 365 00:12:06,192 --> 00:12:08,094 Don't know how to buy sex. 366 00:12:08,094 --> 00:12:10,496 ♪ ♪ 367 00:12:10,496 --> 00:12:11,897 You done robbed him. 368 00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:14,567 Took all his money, he can't get no haircut. 369 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:15,000 [laughter] 370 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,036 [laughter] 371 00:12:17,036 --> 00:12:18,771 Grow up, dude. 372 00:12:18,771 --> 00:12:20,039 You're a nice looking man. 373 00:12:20,039 --> 00:12:21,440 Go to church and tell a lie. 374 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:22,708 You'll find a wife. 375 00:12:26,212 --> 00:12:28,114 I'm gonna settle this right now. 376 00:12:28,114 --> 00:12:30,082 [suspenseful music] 377 00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:32,952 I'm ruling in favor of... 378 00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:34,720 the plaintiff, Nigel, 379 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:38,991 in the amount of $2,500 for using half of your brain. 380 00:12:40,126 --> 00:12:41,327 - Well, thank you, Your Honor. 381 00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:42,461 - You know damn well you shouldn't 382 00:12:42,461 --> 00:12:44,330 have gave him that money. 383 00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:45,898 And stay your ass off the dating app. 384 00:12:45,898 --> 00:12:47,633 You don't know how to not get got. 385 00:12:49,368 --> 00:12:50,603 - Just look at her, Your Honor. 386 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,204 I don't like no skinny woman. 387 00:12:52,204 --> 00:12:53,873 - Boy, there's nothing like having a friend 388 00:12:53,873 --> 00:12:55,808 that's in love with you, but he can't tell you. 389 00:12:55,808 --> 00:12:56,909 - He's a great person. 390 00:12:56,909 --> 00:12:58,177 But I stand on principle. 391 00:12:58,177 --> 00:12:59,645 Did I give you counterfeit money? 392 00:12:59,645 --> 00:13:01,781 No, I gave you real, saved money. 393 00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,616 And I want it really back. 394 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:04,650 - Mm. 395 00:13:07,721 --> 00:13:09,789 - Okay, jury, remember, I run this club. 396 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,459 So I need you to pay attention and speak up when I ask you to. 397 00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:13,493 - Yes. 398 00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:16,896 - Bailiff, start bailiffing. 399 00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:18,031 Give me another case. 400 00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:21,368 - This case is Nolan v. James. 401 00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:22,969 - Plaintiff Rachel Nolan is suing 402 00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:25,338 her best friend, Bryan, for $5,000. 403 00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:27,874 She says she gave up her money for a dream body, 404 00:13:27,874 --> 00:13:29,843 and instead loaned it to Bryan to help him 405 00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:31,378 work with community kids. 406 00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:33,813 But now, it's time to recoup the cash 407 00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,482 and get herself snatched. 408 00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:37,684 Defendant Bryan James says the money was 409 00:13:37,684 --> 00:13:39,619 an investment in a good cause. 410 00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:41,421 And if Rachel wants a new booty, 411 00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:44,457 she should just take her ass to the gym. 412 00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:45,959 - Miss Nolan, can you please tell me 413 00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:47,327 what brought you here today? 414 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:50,196 - Today, I'm here suing my best friend, Bryan, 415 00:13:50,196 --> 00:13:52,365 in the amount of $5,000. 416 00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:54,067 The money was supposed to be used 417 00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:56,803 for a mentorship program that he runs. 418 00:13:56,803 --> 00:13:58,972 But the summertime came, and those numbers were 419 00:13:58,972 --> 00:14:00,240 as low as my credit score. 420 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,375 [laughter] 421 00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:04,010 - Okay, Bryan, what do you have to say about this? 422 00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:07,480 - Ms. Pat, Your Honor, I had planned on paying her back. 423 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:10,750 But after the summer program didn't do well, I'm like, 424 00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:13,286 damn, I got to find another solution to do it with. 425 00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:15,422 - So let me ask you something, Bryan. 426 00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:17,957 What was you gonna do with these kids at this youth camp? 427 00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:20,160 - I was really teaching kids how to work 428 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:21,895 with their hands and have a good work ethic. 429 00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:23,396 - Like what? 430 00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:28,134 - Building things like pallet walls, pallet bars. 431 00:14:28,134 --> 00:14:30,670 - Was you preparing them for prison? 432 00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:32,338 [laughter] 433 00:14:32,338 --> 00:14:33,940 - Was the camp ever a success? 434 00:14:33,940 --> 00:14:36,709 - Yes, ma'am. The spring, I had 30 kids. 435 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,445 - How many was there for the summer program? 436 00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:40,013 - Eight. - Eight? 437 00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:41,181 - It was eight kids. Yes, ma'am. 438 00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:42,749 - What was you charging these kids? 439 00:14:42,749 --> 00:14:44,117 - $50 a kid. 440 00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:46,085 - $50 a kid times 30 people 441 00:14:46,085 --> 00:14:47,821 ain't going to get you her money back. 442 00:14:47,821 --> 00:14:49,189 What is--Ray J. 443 00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:50,924 - 50 times 30 is-- 444 00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:52,258 - 15-- - 1,500. 445 00:14:52,258 --> 00:14:53,426 - Yeah. 1,500. 446 00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:54,761 - So you gonna make $1,500 back. 447 00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:56,329 You still was short. - Yes. 448 00:14:56,329 --> 00:14:57,664 Yes, ma'am, I was. 449 00:14:57,664 --> 00:14:59,365 - How do you support yourself? 450 00:14:59,365 --> 00:15:02,035 - Well, basically, I got a home repair business. 451 00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:03,470 - A home prayer business? 452 00:15:03,470 --> 00:15:04,471 - Repair. 453 00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:05,872 - Oh, repair. - Repair. 454 00:15:05,872 --> 00:15:07,373 Yes, ma'am. - You talk like me. 455 00:15:07,373 --> 00:15:09,809 [laughter] 456 00:15:09,809 --> 00:15:11,678 - I thought he said he had a home prayer business 457 00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:13,246 going around praying at people house, 458 00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:15,348 taking their money. - Did they miss it? 459 00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:17,083 - That's called a pastor, sir. 460 00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:18,751 - [laughs] 461 00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,220 - Have you ever loaned him money before? 462 00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:22,155 - I've never loaned my mama no money. 463 00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:24,891 - Mm. So you really must believe in his vision. 464 00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:26,059 - I do. 465 00:15:26,059 --> 00:15:27,627 Like, he's been active in the community 466 00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:29,262 with the kids for years. 467 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,664 That's why I loaned him that money. 468 00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:33,233 - And what was the term of this loan? 469 00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:34,934 - So I gave him a year to pay it back. 470 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,469 - Do you have a receipt? 471 00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:41,241 - I have a promissory note that I wrote and he signed. 472 00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:42,308 - Let me see it, girl. 473 00:15:42,308 --> 00:15:43,343 - Yes, ma'am. 474 00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:46,546 - Damn. 475 00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:49,449 The amount of $5,000 will be expected to be 476 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:52,252 paid back by May of 2023. 477 00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:54,053 Was you planning on paying her back? 478 00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:55,221 - Yes, ma'am. 479 00:15:55,221 --> 00:15:56,489 I was planning on paying her back. 480 00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:59,526 But she wanted to go do a mommy makeover. 481 00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:01,261 - That's why she wanted her money back. 482 00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:02,795 - Yeah. I don't like no skinny woman. 483 00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:05,164 She's my--just look at her, Your Honor. 484 00:16:05,164 --> 00:16:06,933 - Wait a minute. What--let's stop. 485 00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:09,035 Are y'all in a relationship or are y'all best friends? 486 00:16:09,035 --> 00:16:10,203 - We're best friends. 487 00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:11,638 - Have you ever had sex with that? 488 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:12,972 I mean, him. [laughter] 489 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,575 - Would never, ever on the devil's bed. 490 00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:16,910 - For real? 491 00:16:16,910 --> 00:16:17,911 - Ooh! - [laughs] 492 00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:23,883 - Rachel invested $5,000 in her friend's youth camp, 493 00:16:23,883 --> 00:16:25,585 but when the kids were a no-show, 494 00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:27,721 the loan repayment was a no-go. 495 00:16:27,721 --> 00:16:30,290 Ms. Pat is about to tell it like it is. 496 00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:32,292 - Are y'all in a relationship, or y'all best friends? 497 00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:33,893 - We're best friends. 498 00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:35,695 - So why are you so concerned about what her body look like? 499 00:16:35,695 --> 00:16:37,464 - Because, Your Honor-- - You never had sex with her. 500 00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:38,898 You're not in a relationship with her. 501 00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:40,900 - I had other solutions for her. 502 00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:42,769 - Your Honor. 503 00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:46,339 Let me tell you what this man thought was 504 00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,475 going to be my money replacement. 505 00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:49,542 - Mm. 506 00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:52,545 - So this man tried to bring me 507 00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:56,049 a rusty, crusty exercise machine. 508 00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:58,051 Do you--would you like to see the pictures? 509 00:16:58,051 --> 00:16:59,185 - Yes, let me see the pictures. 510 00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:00,520 - Baby. 511 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,188 - Oh, man, for real? 512 00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:03,656 - I was gonna get gangrene 513 00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:05,024 if I jumped on that damn machine. 514 00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:06,259 I'm not taking that. 515 00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:07,660 - Oh, he was trying to kill you, girl. 516 00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:09,162 - What is that? 517 00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:10,463 - I don't think she could have paddled that thing. 518 00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:11,931 - Did I give you a rusty machine? 519 00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:13,466 Did I give you counterfeit money? 520 00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:15,602 No, I gave you real, saved money. 521 00:17:15,602 --> 00:17:18,238 And I want it really back. 522 00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:19,472 - All right. 523 00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:21,374 Nolan, please, tell me your last words 524 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:22,909 before I give you my decision. 525 00:17:22,909 --> 00:17:25,845 - I do want the court to know, like, he's a great person. 526 00:17:25,845 --> 00:17:29,149 I'm not here to take anything from him except for the loan. 527 00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:30,683 I didn't want this to ruin our friendship. 528 00:17:30,683 --> 00:17:31,985 But I stand on principle. 529 00:17:31,985 --> 00:17:33,486 And I need all my coins back. 530 00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:36,022 - And you, Mr. Bryan James, what do you have to say? 531 00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:38,324 - The machine wasn't that bad, okay? 532 00:17:38,324 --> 00:17:40,293 - Oh, come on. 533 00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:41,561 - It wasn't that bad. 534 00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,329 I just had to throw it in there on top. 535 00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:44,764 - I've heard enough. 536 00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:48,034 Rachel, you can't give people your money. 537 00:17:48,034 --> 00:17:50,336 I understand that you did it because it 538 00:17:50,336 --> 00:17:54,941 is hard to find Black men that invest in the Black community. 539 00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:57,644 This man tried to start a camp to instill work habits 540 00:17:57,644 --> 00:17:58,945 in these Black kids. 541 00:17:58,945 --> 00:18:00,447 And I'm proud of you for doing that. 542 00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:02,015 - Thank you. - I truly believe that 543 00:18:02,015 --> 00:18:05,318 every child deserves to start off on a solid foundation. 544 00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:06,953 You didn't waste your money. 545 00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:09,222 His idea just didn't work the [bleep] out. 546 00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:11,257 [laughter] 547 00:18:12,325 --> 00:18:14,194 Why are you crying? 548 00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:16,529 - Because like you said, like, this man, 549 00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:18,598 he goes so hard for kids. 550 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:19,833 - I know. 551 00:18:19,833 --> 00:18:21,034 - And it's just touching to me because 552 00:18:21,034 --> 00:18:22,469 I was raised by my daddy. 553 00:18:22,469 --> 00:18:24,437 Like, I don't know how it feels to be raised by a mom. 554 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:26,773 That's why, like, mostly all my friends are men. 555 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:29,042 But I don't want the friendship to overshadow. 556 00:18:29,042 --> 00:18:31,544 I need my money back. [laughter] 557 00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:33,746 - Okay. It's time to settle this once and for all. 558 00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:36,115 [suspenseful music] 559 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:39,919 I'm ruling in favor of... 560 00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:41,054 Rachel. 561 00:18:42,188 --> 00:18:44,791 I am gonna award you your $5,000. 562 00:18:46,159 --> 00:18:49,529 But I'm also gonna make a donation for $2,500 563 00:18:49,529 --> 00:18:51,231 to your account, Bryan. 564 00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:52,565 - Thank you, Your Honor. 565 00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:53,900 Thank you, Your Honor. 566 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:56,803 [applause] 567 00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,104 Thank you. 568 00:18:58,104 --> 00:19:00,773 - Bryan, I got one thing to say, before you go. 569 00:19:00,773 --> 00:19:02,942 I'm gonna need a damn receipt for my donation 570 00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:04,844 'cause I need it for tax deduction. 571 00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:07,413 [laughter] 572 00:19:07,413 --> 00:19:09,249 Now get out of here, and stay friends forever. 573 00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:10,850 - Thank you. 574 00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:13,186 [applause] 575 00:19:14,254 --> 00:19:16,155 - Boy, there's nothing like having a friend 576 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,091 that's in love with you, but he can't tell you. 577 00:19:18,091 --> 00:19:19,259 - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. 578 00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:21,327 - I've been that man myself. - Mm. 579 00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:22,729 I know you been that man, Chris. 580 00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:24,531 Ain't nobody wanted you. - That's nice. 581 00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:25,665 Nice. 582 00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:29,469 - When I got the dress back, it was altered. 583 00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:31,104 I can't even fit one titty in the dress. 584 00:19:31,104 --> 00:19:32,639 - Why would you start rubbing on yourself. 585 00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:35,108 - Oh, I'm sorry. - Jesus Christ. 586 00:19:35,108 --> 00:19:38,278 - She used my information to pay for the rental property. 587 00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:40,313 - With twins, there's a good twin and an evil twin. 588 00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:42,382 Who's the evil one? - Hello. 589 00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:44,151 - Are you high? - [laughs] 590 00:19:44,151 --> 00:19:46,153 - She forged my signature, cashed the check. 591 00:19:46,153 --> 00:19:47,921 - You were supposed to remodel your house. 592 00:19:47,921 --> 00:19:50,323 Instead, you went out and remodel your body? 593 00:19:50,323 --> 00:19:51,591 - I have not even seen her. 594 00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:53,427 - You haven't seen this? - Damn.