1
00:00:01,067 --> 00:00:02,202
- You ain't never met
a judge like me.
2
00:00:02,202 --> 00:00:03,636
- Your Honor, Your Honor!
3
00:00:03,636 --> 00:00:05,972
- Shut the hell up, and let me
get this thing together.
4
00:00:05,972 --> 00:00:07,774
Hey, y'all.
I'm Ms. Pat.
5
00:00:07,774 --> 00:00:10,577
I know the inside
of a courtroom.
6
00:00:10,577 --> 00:00:12,512
I went to jail
for selling cocaine.
7
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Now here I am,
25 years later,
8
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,416
sitting on this side
of the bench.
9
00:00:16,416 --> 00:00:17,584
- Put my faith in your hands.
10
00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:18,885
- Don't put your faith
in my hand.
11
00:00:18,885 --> 00:00:20,220
I ain't God.
I don't love you.
12
00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:22,155
I'm using everything I learned
on the streets...
13
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Don't nobody owe you nothing.
14
00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:24,824
To solve disputes
15
00:00:24,824 --> 00:00:27,560
that are tearing
real family and friends apart.
16
00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:29,262
- I ain't care if he find out.
What's his is mine.
17
00:00:29,262 --> 00:00:30,530
- We ain't married.
- And we brothers.
18
00:00:30,530 --> 00:00:31,598
- Hey.
19
00:00:31,598 --> 00:00:33,133
These are real cases
20
00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:34,868
with real money on the line.
21
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,269
What you do with the $5,000?
22
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- I-I'll let you know.
23
00:00:37,737 --> 00:00:39,406
- Well, I'm here.
Let me know.
24
00:00:39,406 --> 00:00:41,307
And I'm bringing
my own family and friends
25
00:00:41,307 --> 00:00:42,509
to court as my jury.
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Their opinions are
like diarrhea.
27
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It belongs in the toilet.
28
00:00:45,445 --> 00:00:47,046
- You're out of order.
Matter of fact,
29
00:00:47,046 --> 00:00:48,782
this whole damn courtroom
is out of order!
30
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- Y'all may have started it,
but I'm gonna settle it.
31
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- Let's just wrap this up
32
00:00:52,852 --> 00:00:54,421
'cause I'm getting
very irritated.
33
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- You keep running your mouth,
34
00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:57,290
you ain't gonna get nothing.
35
00:00:57,290 --> 00:00:58,958
Court is now in session.
36
00:00:58,958 --> 00:01:00,627
Baby, don't do me, do Jesus,
37
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'cause he got
more patience with you, okay?
38
00:01:02,829 --> 00:01:04,964
[upbeat music]
39
00:01:05,932 --> 00:01:07,066
- All rise.
40
00:01:07,066 --> 00:01:09,702
You knew this day would come.
41
00:01:09,702 --> 00:01:12,071
She's the finest-looking
crack dealer
42
00:01:12,071 --> 00:01:14,474
that ever banged a gavel,
43
00:01:14,474 --> 00:01:16,309
the honorable Ms. Pat.
44
00:01:16,309 --> 00:01:18,144
- Thank you, thank you.
Just sit on down.
45
00:01:18,144 --> 00:01:20,180
You didn't have to tell
everybody my damn business.
46
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[laughter]
47
00:01:22,682 --> 00:01:24,384
- Shit, that--
that's on Wikipedia.
48
00:01:24,384 --> 00:01:25,852
It's already out there.
49
00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:28,154
- All right, bailiff,
50
00:01:28,154 --> 00:01:29,989
do the bailiff-ing thing
that you do.
51
00:01:29,989 --> 00:01:33,193
- This is the case
of Braden versus Ford.
52
00:01:33,193 --> 00:01:36,996
- Plaintiff Zaquanna Braden is
suing her ex for $2,500
53
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because she claims he took off
54
00:01:38,698 --> 00:01:40,934
with her transmission
in the dead of night.
55
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:44,437
Defendant Gregory Ford claims
that it was his transmission
56
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and that after their
situation-ship broke off,
57
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it was his to take back.
58
00:01:49,809 --> 00:01:52,912
It's your classic love story:
guy meets girl,
59
00:01:52,912 --> 00:01:55,949
and guy and girl fight
over a transmission.
60
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:58,985
- All right.
Gregory and Zaquanna--
61
00:01:58,985 --> 00:02:00,587
is that how to pronounce it?
- Yes, ma'am.
62
00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:02,822
- Okay, before we get started,
I just want to let y'all know
63
00:02:02,822 --> 00:02:03,990
this is a jury of my peers.
64
00:02:03,990 --> 00:02:05,458
They low-down and dirty,
65
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and they may take something
from you.
66
00:02:08,361 --> 00:02:09,863
Only listen to me.
67
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:11,798
My opinion is the only one
that matters, okay?
68
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:12,999
- Yes, ma'am.
69
00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:14,267
- Can you tell me
why we're here today?
70
00:02:14,267 --> 00:02:17,103
- I am here to sue Gregory
for $2,500.
71
00:02:17,103 --> 00:02:19,405
Him and his uncle decided
that they were gonna come
72
00:02:19,405 --> 00:02:21,741
to my place of residence
in the middle of the night
73
00:02:21,741 --> 00:02:25,011
and take my transmission
out of my car that I paid for.
74
00:02:25,011 --> 00:02:27,981
Not only that,
I later found that his uncle
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00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:31,451
had my transmission
for resale at his shop.
76
00:02:31,451 --> 00:02:32,585
- Mm.
77
00:02:32,585 --> 00:02:33,786
- A thief in the night.
78
00:02:33,786 --> 00:02:35,255
- Gregory, is this true?
79
00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:38,024
Are you a nighttime
transmission stealer?
80
00:02:38,024 --> 00:02:39,759
[laughter]
81
00:02:39,759 --> 00:02:41,361
- You can't steal nothing
that she didn't own.
82
00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:42,428
It was my transmission.
83
00:02:42,428 --> 00:02:44,664
I just loaned her
the transmission.
84
00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:47,700
After the dating was done,
I repo-ed my transmission.
85
00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:48,902
- Oh.
86
00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:50,570
- That wasn't the terms,
though,
87
00:02:50,570 --> 00:02:52,272
where you put a transmission
in my car
88
00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:53,773
and you take it
when we get done dating--
89
00:02:53,773 --> 00:02:55,375
- Ah, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
90
00:02:55,375 --> 00:02:57,610
Gregory, you was in
a relationship with Zaquanna--
91
00:02:57,610 --> 00:03:00,146
- I wasn't in no
relationship per se--
92
00:03:00,146 --> 00:03:01,147
temporary-ship.
93
00:03:01,147 --> 00:03:02,282
- What?
94
00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:03,550
- So y'all was banging.
95
00:03:03,550 --> 00:03:05,418
Y'all was going together.
- You right.
96
00:03:05,418 --> 00:03:07,053
She had a car sitting
in her yard.
97
00:03:07,053 --> 00:03:08,888
And she sold me
a good sob story,
98
00:03:08,888 --> 00:03:10,990
and she hit me
with that guap-guap 3,000...
99
00:03:10,990 --> 00:03:12,659
[indistinct speech]
100
00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:14,460
[laughter]
101
00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:15,962
I need that transmission, boy.
102
00:03:15,962 --> 00:03:18,131
- Okay, all right.
[laughter]
103
00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:19,399
- And ASAP.
104
00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:21,501
So I loaned her
the transmission
105
00:03:21,501 --> 00:03:22,869
for as long as we was
messing around.
106
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:24,237
- And so--
- But I paid for it, though.
107
00:03:24,237 --> 00:03:25,939
- Never paid for it.
- I gave his uncle
108
00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:27,106
the money for it, though.
- He--
109
00:03:27,106 --> 00:03:28,741
- Oh.
- Shut your little ass up.
110
00:03:28,741 --> 00:03:31,611
[laughter]
111
00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:34,314
How long was you
in this relationship, Zaquanna?
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00:03:34,314 --> 00:03:35,782
- It was a little under a year.
113
00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:37,317
- And how did you meet Gregory?
114
00:03:37,317 --> 00:03:40,353
- So I met Gregory one night
when I was out having drinks
115
00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:43,056
with my friend at a local club
that he works at,
116
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,223
karaoke night.
117
00:03:44,223 --> 00:03:45,692
- When the relationship ended--
118
00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:46,693
- That's when he thought
he could
119
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come and take it out at night.
120
00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:49,529
- Your Honor, have you ever
not paid a bill?
121
00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:50,730
- Hell, yeah.
I'm Black.
122
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:51,998
- Your lights went out,
didn't they?
123
00:03:51,998 --> 00:03:53,299
- No, I turned them back on.
124
00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:54,300
- She ain't had no capability
125
00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:55,568
to turn the transmission
back on.
126
00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:57,003
- I paid for it, though.
- Uh--
127
00:03:57,003 --> 00:03:59,706
- The uncle, he about
to stroke out back there.
128
00:03:59,706 --> 00:04:01,541
- Baby, R about to have
a heart attack.
129
00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:03,042
- 'Cause I ain't a liar.
130
00:04:03,042 --> 00:04:05,178
- Come on up, Reuben, and
tell me your part of the story.
131
00:04:05,178 --> 00:04:06,879
- Yes, ma'am, I sure will.
132
00:04:06,879 --> 00:04:08,448
- Reuben Grecian?
- That's it.
133
00:04:08,448 --> 00:04:10,617
Reuben Romance Grecian.
- Romance?
134
00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:13,119
- Yes, ma'am,
AKA Lizard Tongue.
135
00:04:13,119 --> 00:04:14,721
[laughter]
- What?
136
00:04:14,721 --> 00:04:17,757
- So, Zaquanna,
you said you paid Reuben.
137
00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:19,058
- Yes, ma'am, I did.
138
00:04:19,058 --> 00:04:21,394
- If she paid me,
I'll sit here and tell you.
139
00:04:21,394 --> 00:04:22,395
She lying.
140
00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:25,198
She ain't paid not a damn coin.
141
00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:27,834
She said she was gonna
give me $400.
142
00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:30,903
I ain't saw $400 since 1963.
143
00:04:30,903 --> 00:04:32,071
- What?
144
00:04:32,071 --> 00:04:33,573
- And you gonna believe him?
Okay.
145
00:04:33,573 --> 00:04:35,074
- You can't even spell
the truth.
146
00:04:35,074 --> 00:04:36,776
- I'm looking at the lie
right there.
147
00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:38,011
all: Ooh.
148
00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:39,512
- That's why I took
my transmission.
149
00:04:39,512 --> 00:04:40,847
Talking about you paid me.
150
00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:42,215
- That's all I need to know.
151
00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:43,549
- It's mine.
152
00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:45,118
[gavel bangs]
- Shut your nappy neck-ass up.
153
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:48,521
[laughter]
154
00:04:48,521 --> 00:04:49,656
Why did you take
her transmission?
155
00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:50,890
- 'Cause she ain't
give me my money.
156
00:04:50,890 --> 00:04:51,924
- Let me ask you this, Gregory.
157
00:04:51,924 --> 00:04:53,359
Did you tell your uncle?
158
00:04:53,359 --> 00:04:54,794
- I told him
about the situation,
159
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:56,596
and he decided on his own
to go take the transmission.
160
00:04:56,596 --> 00:04:57,930
- Ohh.
161
00:04:57,930 --> 00:04:59,365
- Ain't no way in the hell
162
00:04:59,365 --> 00:05:00,000
this little bitty-ass man
took a transmission
163
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,835
this little bitty-ass man
took a transmission
164
00:05:02,835 --> 00:05:04,170
out a car by himself.
165
00:05:04,170 --> 00:05:05,638
He don't got
that kind of strength.
166
00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:08,207
I'm looking at him.
His shoes too heavy.
167
00:05:09,308 --> 00:05:12,111
Take them jailhouse plates
back over there by your nephew.
168
00:05:12,111 --> 00:05:13,579
[laughter]
169
00:05:13,579 --> 00:05:16,315
So why did you take
the transmission back, Gregory?
170
00:05:16,315 --> 00:05:17,583
- She tells me
she going to Miami
171
00:05:17,583 --> 00:05:18,818
to go get her body done.
172
00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:20,520
- Body done?
Y'all gonna stay y'all ass
173
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,021
out of Miami,
getting them bodies done.
174
00:05:22,021 --> 00:05:23,356
- I was sliding
through the neighborhood.
175
00:05:23,356 --> 00:05:24,957
I see the car at Wendy's.
176
00:05:24,957 --> 00:05:26,559
I'm like, she in Miami.
177
00:05:26,559 --> 00:05:28,294
Who the hell driving the car?
178
00:05:28,294 --> 00:05:31,931
It's her baby daddy in the line
ordering a four for $4.
179
00:05:31,931 --> 00:05:33,833
- That ain't got nothing
to do with me.
180
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,101
- Be quiet.
181
00:05:35,101 --> 00:05:36,836
Don't talk again
until I speak to you.
182
00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:38,337
- Okay.
- Gregory, I kind of see
183
00:05:38,337 --> 00:05:40,139
why you left her.
184
00:05:40,139 --> 00:05:41,741
Let me ask you a question.
- Ma'am?
185
00:05:41,741 --> 00:05:43,209
- Do y'all still have feelings
for each other?
186
00:05:43,209 --> 00:05:44,510
- I ain't got no feeling.
187
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:45,511
- You ain't--
excuse me, Gregory?
188
00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:46,679
- I ain't got no feelings.
189
00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:48,414
- Far as feeling
like being together,
190
00:05:48,414 --> 00:05:50,516
nothing like that, no,
but, far as, like--
191
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:52,285
I ain't got no bad blood
against nobody.
192
00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:53,720
For what?
Hold onto grudges for what?
193
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,822
- You do got some bad blood.
You suing me for $2,500.
194
00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:57,757
- Because I'm suing you
for what I deserve,
195
00:05:57,757 --> 00:05:59,058
what's mine.
196
00:05:59,058 --> 00:06:00,159
- Excuse me, Judge.
197
00:06:00,159 --> 00:06:01,160
One minute--
198
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:02,495
- I'ma need you to be quiet
199
00:06:02,495 --> 00:06:03,830
till you get your next
Social Security check.
200
00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:06,332
[laughter]
201
00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:08,601
Gregory, I'm just gonna
keep it real with you.
202
00:06:08,601 --> 00:06:12,071
You can't be in a relationship
and give a woman something
203
00:06:12,071 --> 00:06:13,406
and when things don't go
your way,
204
00:06:13,406 --> 00:06:14,807
you decide to take them back.
205
00:06:14,807 --> 00:06:17,009
That's not how you treat
a woman, Gregory.
206
00:06:17,009 --> 00:06:18,611
When you leave a relationship,
207
00:06:18,611 --> 00:06:20,947
whatever you put in it,
let it be.
208
00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:22,215
I mean, think about this.
209
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,851
What if she would've
took her guap-guap back?
210
00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:27,120
Because she could never
take back
211
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,521
what she had already given you.
212
00:06:28,521 --> 00:06:30,490
It don't work like that.
I wish we could.
213
00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:31,758
Zaquanna.
- Yes, ma'am.
214
00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:33,593
- You say he stole
your transmission.
215
00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:34,861
You didn't bring any proof
216
00:06:34,861 --> 00:06:36,729
that you ever paid
for the transmission.
217
00:06:36,729 --> 00:06:38,064
You can't just walk in here
218
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:41,000
and expect to win a case
with no receipts.
219
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,269
I think it's stupid he took
his transmission back,
220
00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:44,804
but it was his transmission.
221
00:06:44,804 --> 00:06:47,607
Next time a man
give you something,
222
00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:49,308
and you break up with him,
223
00:06:49,308 --> 00:06:50,977
you hide the [...] he gave you.
224
00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:53,012
- I didn't break up with him.
[laughter]
225
00:06:53,012 --> 00:06:54,680
- That's good advice.
- That is good advice.
226
00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:56,983
- Okay, let me settle this
for once and for all.
227
00:06:56,983 --> 00:06:58,851
[dramatic music]
228
00:06:58,851 --> 00:07:01,954
So I've reached my decision,
and I'm ruling in favor of...
229
00:07:01,954 --> 00:07:03,790
♪ ♪
230
00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:05,725
None of y'all.
231
00:07:05,725 --> 00:07:07,860
The only thing you gonna get
is out of here.
232
00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:08,995
- Can I say one thing?
233
00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:09,996
- Get your ugly ass
out of here.
234
00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:11,631
[laughter]
235
00:07:11,631 --> 00:07:12,765
- Bye.
236
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:14,066
- I know he took
that transmission.
237
00:07:14,066 --> 00:07:15,268
- Gregory took that out.
238
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,636
They had to move
his stomach out the way
239
00:07:16,636 --> 00:07:19,172
with a kickstand,
and then he got in there,
240
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:20,473
and he got
that transmission out.
241
00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:21,974
- Well, we learned today,
there's a fine line
242
00:07:21,974 --> 00:07:24,343
between love and larceny.
243
00:07:24,343 --> 00:07:25,511
Come on, y'all,
get this next case.
244
00:07:25,511 --> 00:07:26,979
I got shit to do.
245
00:07:26,979 --> 00:07:28,247
- Who don't even like the dog.
246
00:07:28,247 --> 00:07:29,549
I'm entitled to just keep him.
247
00:07:29,549 --> 00:07:31,017
He just too worried about
paying that [bleep] bill
248
00:07:31,017 --> 00:07:33,319
that he can't--
- Ooh!
249
00:07:33,319 --> 00:07:34,620
- Girl, you is lying.
- You should've told the truth.
250
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:35,621
- You a liar.
- Hey, hey!
251
00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:37,123
Baby Jesus.
What is going on
252
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:38,424
with you two people?
253
00:07:38,424 --> 00:07:39,692
- Tell her the truth.
- What's the truth?
254
00:07:39,692 --> 00:07:41,694
- The truth is,
she don't care about me.
255
00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:46,066
- All right, jury,
let's get this thing started.
256
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:47,667
Ain't no hot flashes
hit me yet.
257
00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:49,469
But soon as one hit me,
I'ma take off this wig,
258
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,037
and it's over.
- Oh, no.
259
00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:52,739
You do not want them
to see that man up there.
260
00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:54,441
[laughter]
261
00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:55,742
- Come on, bailiff.
- Let's do it.
262
00:07:55,742 --> 00:07:59,112
This is the case
of Who versus Hayes.
263
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:00,280
You may now enter.
264
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,149
- Plaintiff Eric Who is suing
265
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:05,952
his ex-bestie Kijane Hayes
for $1,000
266
00:08:05,952 --> 00:08:08,622
for stealing his pup
and turning it against him.
267
00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:10,190
He says she should pay
268
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:11,858
if she's going to keep
the little doggy.
269
00:08:11,858 --> 00:08:15,629
But defendant Kijane Hayes
says that since she's the one
270
00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:18,698
who's been raising him while
Eric is out in the streets,
271
00:08:18,698 --> 00:08:21,034
she doesn't owe him anything.
272
00:08:22,869 --> 00:08:25,238
- All right, so, Eric,
tell me why we're here today.
273
00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:29,576
- I am suing my ex-friend
for stealing my dog.
274
00:08:29,576 --> 00:08:31,545
And I'm suing for $1,000.
275
00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:34,214
I got the dog a few months ago
from a flea market.
276
00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:36,283
- You paid $1,000
for a dog at a flea market?
277
00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:38,018
- At the flea market,
next to the tomatoes.
278
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,786
Yes.
- Where are you from?
279
00:08:39,786 --> 00:08:41,888
- I'm from Orangeburg,
South Carolina.
280
00:08:41,888 --> 00:08:43,523
- Yeah, you sound like it too.
281
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:44,758
- Uh-oh.
282
00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:47,160
- Kijane, tell me
your side of the story.
283
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,529
- I feel as though
Lou-Lou belongs with me.
284
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:50,797
- Her name is Lou-Lou?
- Angelou,
285
00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:52,499
named after the late great
Maya Angelou.
286
00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:54,701
And ever since that first
weekend where he bought him
287
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,236
at the flea market,
he's been in my care.
288
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:59,372
I refuse to give him back
to a deadbeat dog dad.
289
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,540
- Uh-oh?
290
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:01,775
- What did you name
the dog, Eric?
291
00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:03,210
- The dog's name is Louie.
292
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:04,444
Ain't no last name.
Ain't no middle name.
293
00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:05,946
Ain't no Lou-Lou.
Ain't no Maya Angelou,
294
00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:07,781
bless her heart.
295
00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:08,982
But the dog's name is Louie.
296
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:11,251
- Okay.
- "Lou-ie."
297
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:12,319
[laughter]
298
00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:14,120
- Yeah, Louie, simple.
- Got it.
299
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,690
- If I say,
"Louie, come here, boy,"
300
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:18,492
Louie looking at me like,
who the [bleep] is you?
301
00:09:18,492 --> 00:09:20,060
- 'Cause he knows
his real name.
302
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,628
- Uh-oh?
She can just interrupt me
303
00:09:21,628 --> 00:09:22,729
like that
whenever she feel like it?
304
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:23,964
- I got her.
You just keep
305
00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:25,465
telling me about Louie.
306
00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:27,067
- If I call my dog,
it's like I ain't talking.
307
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,069
I'm talking to the wind.
I'm talking to the air.
308
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,805
- How many times did
Ms. Hayes watch the dog?
309
00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:34,007
- It's been, like,
75% of the time.
310
00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:36,243
- Why was she keeping him
75% of the time?
311
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:38,545
- On the weekends, Judge,
I go to see my man,
312
00:09:38,545 --> 00:09:40,113
just to make sure we all right.
313
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:42,716
So on the weekends
when I go get me together,
314
00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:44,684
I let her watch Louie.
315
00:09:44,684 --> 00:09:46,319
- So why don't
you take Louie with you
316
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:47,787
to go get yourself together?
317
00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:49,689
- I just don't want
the dog there
318
00:09:49,689 --> 00:09:53,960
when I'm trying to do my thing
with my things.
319
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,929
- "Don't want the dog there."
320
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,198
- You heard it.
[laughter]
321
00:09:58,198 --> 00:10:00,066
- How much are you paying her
to watch your dog?
322
00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:01,301
- Oh, nothing.
323
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:02,369
She never brought up money,
324
00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:03,837
so I had a free sitter.
325
00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:05,438
all: Ooh.
326
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:08,542
- Kijane, can you describe your
relationship before the dog?
327
00:10:08,542 --> 00:10:10,477
- I would say our relationship
was pretty solid.
328
00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:12,546
And that's why he entrusted me
to care for his dog
329
00:10:12,546 --> 00:10:14,447
'cause he knew I was well
and capable.
330
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:15,549
- Do you love the dog?
331
00:10:15,549 --> 00:10:17,350
- I love the dog
with all my heart.
332
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:18,818
- So let me see a picture
of this dog.
333
00:10:18,818 --> 00:10:21,655
- You're gonna be blown away
by this cuteness.
334
00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:23,123
Look at the baby.
335
00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:26,226
- Aw.
336
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:27,761
- Aww.
337
00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:29,663
- I would've stole her too.
338
00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:30,830
So cute.
339
00:10:30,830 --> 00:10:32,098
Don't you have somebody else
340
00:10:32,098 --> 00:10:33,900
to be watching this dog
instead of her?
341
00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:35,302
- My loving mother watches
the dog.
342
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:36,503
- Who don't even like the dog.
343
00:10:36,503 --> 00:10:37,804
- Wow.
344
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:40,006
- Now, Kijane, did you go
to the flea market
345
00:10:40,006 --> 00:10:42,576
and buy this dog
next to the tomatoes?
346
00:10:42,576 --> 00:10:43,743
- I was there with him.
347
00:10:43,743 --> 00:10:44,878
- Was it your money?
348
00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:47,080
- It wasn't my money,
but still.
349
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,249
It's my love that I gave
to the dog.
350
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:51,551
- So why don't you just pay him
$1,000 for the dog?
351
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:52,719
If you don't--
- I don't think I should have
352
00:10:52,719 --> 00:10:54,087
to pay because he hasn't
paid me a dime
353
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:55,255
to watch him all this time.
354
00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:56,856
I feel like I'm entitled
to just keep him.
355
00:10:56,856 --> 00:10:58,358
He just too worried about
paying that [bleep] bill
356
00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:00,694
that he can't even--
- Ooh!
357
00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:02,062
- What's a [bleep] bill?
358
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:04,497
- Your Honor,
my mom is in the court,
359
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:07,000
and I don't know if I want
to explain a [bleep].
360
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,301
- Oh, you're under oath, baby.
361
00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:09,703
What's a [bleep] bill?
362
00:11:09,703 --> 00:11:12,772
- When I go see my man, he--
363
00:11:12,772 --> 00:11:15,075
- Oop.
- Oh, my God!
364
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:16,509
- Your mother is right here.
365
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,278
Jesus.
366
00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:19,846
- Your Honor, my--uh-oh.
367
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,181
- Let's stop talking
about the mama.
368
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,882
Come on up here, Mama.
369
00:11:22,882 --> 00:11:24,284
Let's talk to the mama.
370
00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:26,519
Mama, please state
your full name for the court.
371
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:29,389
- My name is
Audrey Riley Williams.
372
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:31,458
- Is it true that you have
watched this dog?
373
00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:34,027
- I have.
Louie is like my grandchild.
374
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,729
But she's so possessive.
375
00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:37,631
She stormed into my home,
376
00:11:37,631 --> 00:11:40,000
she scooped the dog up,
and she left with him.
377
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,368
- She dog-napped him?
- I have proof.
378
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,336
I have proof of it.
- Let's see this proof.
379
00:11:43,336 --> 00:11:44,537
You said you got proof?
- I have proof.
380
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,106
- Is Louie here?
- Yes.
381
00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:47,173
- I was just coming
to pick him up.
382
00:11:47,173 --> 00:11:48,274
- Well, I got him.
383
00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:49,709
What are you doing?
384
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,144
- I'll take care of him.
385
00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:52,145
- What?
- I'll take him.
386
00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:53,146
Don't worry.
- Hold up.
387
00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:54,581
Come back here with that dog.
388
00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:56,082
- My God.
389
00:11:56,082 --> 00:11:57,784
That's a thief.
390
00:11:57,784 --> 00:11:59,152
- Almost knocked me down.
391
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:00,620
- I know.
She's bigger than you.
392
00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:03,023
[laughter]
393
00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:04,190
Thank you for your testimony.
394
00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:05,992
You can have a seat.
- Thank you.
395
00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:07,360
- All right, jury,
what do y'all think?
396
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:10,296
- This is just a classic
Russell Wilson situation.
397
00:12:10,296 --> 00:12:11,564
He is Future.
398
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,833
And now he wants
this kid to love him.
399
00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:15,602
This kid don't know him.
400
00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:16,970
Okay?
401
00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:18,772
- So, Eric, talk to me.
402
00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:20,040
- Since I paid for Louie,
403
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:22,709
I'm entitled
to at least the $1,000.
404
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:23,977
She can have Louie,
405
00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:26,112
'cause Louie does view her
as the master.
406
00:12:26,112 --> 00:12:27,914
- All right, Kijane,
let me hear you.
407
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,582
- Like he said,
Louie does belong with me
408
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,818
'cause he loves me more, and
I shouldn't have to pay a dime.
409
00:12:31,818 --> 00:12:34,654
- So after considering
all the facts of this case,
410
00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:38,324
Kijane, I know you took care
of the dog 75% of the time.
411
00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:41,428
And I know you felt like
the dog belongs to you.
412
00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:42,000
But he never gave you the dog.
413
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,430
But he never gave you the dog.
414
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:47,033
And, Eric, you're leaving
your animal in the hands
415
00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:49,469
of somebody that fell in love
with it more than you did.
416
00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:52,872
Dogs need attention
just like kids.
417
00:12:52,872 --> 00:12:55,341
I mean, if you did this
to a child, you would be a ho.
418
00:12:55,341 --> 00:12:56,342
- Ooh.
419
00:12:56,342 --> 00:12:57,711
[laughter]
420
00:12:57,711 --> 00:12:59,546
- I'ma settle this
once and for all.
421
00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:02,115
[dramatic music]
422
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,616
I'm ruling in favor of...
423
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,118
♪ ♪
424
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,886
Eric Who.
425
00:13:06,886 --> 00:13:08,321
- Who?
- [cackles]
426
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:09,456
- Whooty-Who!
427
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:10,423
- I'm not giving you
your money,
428
00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:11,391
but you can get your dog back.
429
00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:12,959
- Ah, hell, I want--oh.
430
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,027
No--yay.
431
00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:15,762
[laughter]
Yay.
432
00:13:18,231 --> 00:13:19,899
Louie!
433
00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:21,835
Louie.
- He ain't even want that dog.
434
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:23,136
- And if you decide
that you don't want it,
435
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:25,205
let Mama continue
to take you to church,
436
00:13:25,205 --> 00:13:26,506
'cause with you being
the daddy,
437
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:27,774
it's gonna need a blessing.
438
00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:28,875
- Ohh.
439
00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:30,610
- You are dismissed.
440
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:32,045
- Wasn't that crazy?
441
00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:34,347
- I felt like you should've
let her keep the dog.
442
00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:35,849
- No, he paid for the dog.
443
00:13:35,849 --> 00:13:37,951
You might not like it,
but I settled it.
444
00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:39,719
Bailiff, next case.
445
00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:40,954
- You got my couch.
- I told you to wait.
446
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:42,155
- You sitting on it.
You sitting on it.
447
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,456
You farting on it.
You sitting on it.
448
00:13:43,456 --> 00:13:44,724
Tell the [bleep]damn truth,
Jeanine.
449
00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:46,059
- This is crazy.
450
00:13:48,829 --> 00:13:51,331
- All right, jury, I'm feeling
extra judgmental today,
451
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:53,600
so watch yourself.
452
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,035
Bailiff, go ahead
and start bailiff-ing.
453
00:13:55,035 --> 00:13:57,003
Do what you do.
- This is the case
454
00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:59,373
of Hornes versus Wiggins.
455
00:13:59,373 --> 00:14:02,075
- Plaintiff Charleetra Hornes
is suing her friend Jeanine
456
00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:05,612
for $2,000 after she gave her
a couch in exchange
457
00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:07,814
for a dental credit card
Jeanine canceled
458
00:14:07,814 --> 00:14:10,283
before Charleetra could
get her grill fixed.
459
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:13,487
Defendant Jeanine Wiggins says
that Charleetra needs
460
00:14:13,487 --> 00:14:16,156
to have several seats
on that uncomfortable couch
461
00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:17,557
and leave her alone.
462
00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:20,060
Charleetra talked trash
about her in church,
463
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:22,496
and God don't like ugly.
464
00:14:22,496 --> 00:14:25,365
So she shouldn't have
to pay her anything.
465
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:26,633
- You walked
in this bitch looking
466
00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:27,901
like a piece of strawberry--
467
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:29,403
that old shit
your grandma get choke on,
468
00:14:29,403 --> 00:14:32,105
watching the soap o--
[coughs]
469
00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:33,573
[laughter]
470
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:35,942
Okay, Charleetra, what are you
suing your friend for?
471
00:14:35,942 --> 00:14:39,713
- I sold Jeanine Wiggins
a couch for $2,000.
472
00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:41,481
She didn't have the money,
and so we agreed
473
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:43,650
that I would have $2,000 worth
of her dental credit.
474
00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:45,752
- What is dental credit?
- It's like where you can
475
00:14:45,752 --> 00:14:47,454
use a credit card
to go to the dentist.
476
00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:48,588
- For your teeth?
- Yes.
477
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:50,023
Being that I needed
dental work,
478
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:52,526
I said, oh, okay, this would
be an ideal situation.
479
00:14:52,526 --> 00:14:54,594
- So what type of teeth were
you trying to get fixed?
480
00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:55,896
- I was getting it right here.
481
00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:57,097
all: Ooh.
482
00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:58,799
- As you can see,
it's still not there.
483
00:14:58,799 --> 00:15:00,700
I gave her the couch,
and I don't have
484
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,235
my teeth fixed.
- [scoffs]
485
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:03,637
- Jeanine, what's
your side of the story?
486
00:15:03,637 --> 00:15:05,505
- I applied for the credit
so she could use it.
487
00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:06,807
I told her to wait
488
00:15:06,807 --> 00:15:08,542
'cause I was trying to get me
a Mercedes-Benz,
489
00:15:08,542 --> 00:15:10,377
and I didn't want
my interest rates to go up.
490
00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:11,711
- She reneged.
491
00:15:11,711 --> 00:15:12,779
- I told you to wait.
- You--no.
492
00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:14,281
Not wait--you got my couch.
493
00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:15,749
- I told you to wait.
- You sitting on it.
494
00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:17,184
You sitting on it, you farting
on it, you sitting on it.
495
00:15:17,184 --> 00:15:18,385
- I told you to wait.
- You got my couch, though.
496
00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:19,419
- That shit is
uncomfortable anyway.
497
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:20,720
- You a [bleep] liar.
I mean--
498
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,022
ooh, shit, hold on.
- Order, order, order,
499
00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:23,690
order, order, order.
- Hold on, I'm sorry.
500
00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:26,193
You see this is still
vacant, bitch.
501
00:15:26,193 --> 00:15:27,360
This is vacant.
502
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:28,795
- Why you gotta give her
a care credit?
503
00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:30,564
- Tell her.
- I didn't have the money.
504
00:15:30,564 --> 00:15:32,399
That's number one.
- Tell her the truth.
505
00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:33,667
- What's the truth?
- The truth is,
506
00:15:33,667 --> 00:15:35,569
she gotta have
all the fancy, all the--
507
00:15:35,569 --> 00:15:37,637
everything fabulous is Jeanine.
508
00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:38,872
She don't care about me.
509
00:15:38,872 --> 00:15:40,207
all: Ooh.
510
00:15:40,207 --> 00:15:41,741
- Okay.
All right.
511
00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:43,743
So, ma'am, did you apply
for the $2,000 credit?
512
00:15:43,743 --> 00:15:45,378
- I did.
- Did you give it to her?
513
00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:46,379
- Yeah, she used it.
514
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:47,481
- She's lying, Your Honor.
515
00:15:47,481 --> 00:15:48,815
She did not give me the money.
516
00:15:48,815 --> 00:15:50,217
When you're getting implants,
you have to go
517
00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:51,852
for a couple of visits, right?
- Yes, I know.
518
00:15:51,852 --> 00:15:53,320
- So my first visit was fine.
519
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,288
When I went back,
they said, oh, ma'am,
520
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,157
you're not an authorized user
on this card.
521
00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:59,593
I called her immediately,
over and over again,
522
00:15:59,593 --> 00:16:00,861
200, 300 times, no answer.
523
00:16:00,861 --> 00:16:02,362
- 200 or 300 times?
524
00:16:02,362 --> 00:16:03,797
- That's how many.
I kept calling.
525
00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:05,966
I kept calling.
- I'd have blocked you, too.
526
00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:07,934
- She should've told the truth.
- She's a whole liar.
527
00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:09,669
You a--girl, you is lying.
- You should've told the truth.
528
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:10,904
- You a liar.
- Hey, hey!
529
00:16:10,904 --> 00:16:12,606
- The couch--
I am telling the truth.
530
00:16:12,606 --> 00:16:13,907
- Wait a minute.
- And when she called me
531
00:16:13,907 --> 00:16:15,408
back again, she left
on my last voicemail--
532
00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:16,877
- Hey!
Baby Jesus.
533
00:16:16,877 --> 00:16:18,845
- I'm sorry.
- If y'all don't stop this--
534
00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:20,280
- Okay.
Sorry about that, Judge.
535
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:23,116
- What is going on
with you two people?
536
00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:24,651
- I just want her
to hold on for a second.
537
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,686
She got mad.
And next thing I know,
538
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,288
she was tarnishing
my reputation.
539
00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:29,289
- That's what
she really mad about.
540
00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:30,423
- Spreading rumors.
541
00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:31,958
I get word
from the church house
542
00:16:31,958 --> 00:16:33,093
that she running her mouth
about me.
543
00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:34,094
- Church house?
- Yeah.
544
00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:35,428
- No, I gave my testimony...
545
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:36,563
- She started talking--
- Because she was lying.
546
00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:37,764
- Nah, she started
talking about me.
547
00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:39,299
- Hold on.
- I gave my own testimony.
548
00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:41,101
- So you went to church
and stood up in front of God...
549
00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:42,302
- No, no, no, no, no.
- And talked about a couch?
550
00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:43,737
- I didn't st--no, no.
[laughter]
551
00:16:43,737 --> 00:16:45,639
A little chatter amongst
the people at the church.
552
00:16:45,639 --> 00:16:46,873
- What did she say
that hurt you--
553
00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:48,041
- Then she started
hanging with my enemies.
554
00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:50,343
- She said something
about my kids
555
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,379
or my man I was dealing with
at the time,
556
00:16:52,379 --> 00:16:54,281
and all kind of shit
she was saying.
557
00:16:54,281 --> 00:16:56,182
- I only know what you told me.
558
00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:58,118
[bleep] damn it, tell
the [bleep]damn truth, Jeanine.
559
00:16:58,118 --> 00:16:59,352
- You don't tell--
- You ain't gonna lie on me
560
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:00,787
in front of them people.
- You don't tell--
561
00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:02,022
- You ain't finna lie on me
in front of these people.
562
00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:03,757
- Hey. Hey.
- Ms. Hornes, Ms. Hornes.
563
00:17:03,757 --> 00:17:05,625
- This is crazy.
564
00:17:07,394 --> 00:17:08,862
- Toothless Charleetra Hornes
is suing
565
00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:10,864
her church friend
Jeanine Wiggins for $2,000
566
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,800
for stealing her cloud couch
567
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:15,302
and failing to get
her grill fixed in return
568
00:17:15,302 --> 00:17:18,605
as Ms. Pat is ready
to hear more arguments.
569
00:17:18,605 --> 00:17:20,107
- Do you have a picture
of the cloud couch?
570
00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:22,242
- Yes, I do.
- Thank you, baby.
571
00:17:22,242 --> 00:17:23,510
- You a liar.
Something wrong with your--
572
00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:25,546
something wrong with
your skin or your bones.
573
00:17:25,546 --> 00:17:27,014
- Oh.
- There it is.
574
00:17:27,014 --> 00:17:29,450
- Jeanine, you sitting on
her couch while she's waiting.
575
00:17:29,450 --> 00:17:32,119
And she's still missing
a tooth on the side.
576
00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:33,654
I need y'all
to help me settle this.
577
00:17:33,654 --> 00:17:35,789
- Okay.
- Okay, you got the card
578
00:17:35,789 --> 00:17:37,157
and the couch.
579
00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:38,992
- You winning.
both: And the Rolls.
580
00:17:38,992 --> 00:17:40,561
- Yeah.
- Everybody want to eat
581
00:17:40,561 --> 00:17:41,628
on both sides of their mouth.
582
00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:42,763
- Yeah.
583
00:17:42,763 --> 00:17:44,131
- Oh, that's crazy.
584
00:17:44,131 --> 00:17:45,366
- Charleetra, do you have
585
00:17:45,366 --> 00:17:46,967
any final words
you would like to say?
586
00:17:46,967 --> 00:17:49,103
- I feel that I'm owed
the $2,000 for my couch.
587
00:17:49,103 --> 00:17:50,938
But most importantly,
I miss my friend.
588
00:17:50,938 --> 00:17:52,373
We had so much fun.
589
00:17:52,373 --> 00:17:54,475
We laugh, we shop,
we go to concerts.
590
00:17:54,475 --> 00:17:56,410
We shouldn't have to do this
because of money, seriously.
591
00:17:56,410 --> 00:17:57,511
- You need to pray.
592
00:17:57,511 --> 00:17:59,079
- Jeanine, you got
any final words?
593
00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:01,148
- It's a wrap for me.
594
00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:02,349
- Why are you mad?
595
00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:03,784
- I don't know
about the friendship.
596
00:18:03,784 --> 00:18:05,285
I don't know about
the friendship right now.
597
00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:06,620
- All right.
I heard enough.
598
00:18:06,620 --> 00:18:09,757
Y'all are a little too old
for this shit.
599
00:18:09,757 --> 00:18:11,392
And you in the church too,
so I don't know
600
00:18:11,392 --> 00:18:13,427
why y'all would be doing this
as Christians.
601
00:18:14,828 --> 00:18:17,464
If God can forgive,
then why can't you forgive?
602
00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:18,966
- Amen.
- Preach, preacher.
603
00:18:18,966 --> 00:18:22,302
- The Bible said,
thou shalt not steal no couch.
604
00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:24,104
- I gotta check that scripture.
605
00:18:24,104 --> 00:18:25,439
- [laughs]
606
00:18:25,439 --> 00:18:27,107
- Why are you crying?
607
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:28,742
- Because I love her.
608
00:18:28,742 --> 00:18:30,611
all: Aww.
609
00:18:30,611 --> 00:18:32,846
- Now, when the last time
you heard somebody love you?
610
00:18:32,846 --> 00:18:34,915
Look at your friend.
She's crying.
611
00:18:34,915 --> 00:18:36,350
- She always crying.
612
00:18:36,350 --> 00:18:38,619
- I just met her, so she's not
always crying to me.
613
00:18:38,619 --> 00:18:40,654
- Okay.
- Listen to me.
614
00:18:40,654 --> 00:18:42,523
Stop being an asshole.
Do you know how hard it is
615
00:18:42,523 --> 00:18:44,358
to come by a good friend?
616
00:18:45,526 --> 00:18:47,361
- Wow.
- Let me tell you something.
617
00:18:47,361 --> 00:18:49,630
I don't think
the relationship is equal.
618
00:18:49,630 --> 00:18:52,599
I think you care more about her
than she do you.
619
00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:53,600
- Always have.
620
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,102
- There's a lot of other people
621
00:18:55,102 --> 00:18:56,970
that needs a good friend
like you.
622
00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:58,338
- And a good couch.
623
00:18:58,338 --> 00:19:00,707
- Amen.
[laughter]
624
00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:02,342
- Now, let me settle this
once and for all.
625
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:04,611
[dramatic music]
626
00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:06,046
I'm ruling in favor of...
627
00:19:06,046 --> 00:19:07,080
♪ ♪
628
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:09,583
Charleetra Hornes
629
00:19:09,583 --> 00:19:11,919
in the amount of $2,000.
630
00:19:11,919 --> 00:19:13,787
- Thank you.
631
00:19:13,787 --> 00:19:15,222
- Y'all can leave now.
632
00:19:15,222 --> 00:19:16,824
- They was both
nice-looking ladies.
633
00:19:16,824 --> 00:19:18,492
- I like the outfit.
Did you like the outfit?
634
00:19:18,492 --> 00:19:21,061
- Nah, she look like she had on
a Popeye's uniform.
635
00:19:21,061 --> 00:19:23,130
I don't know.
[laughter]
636
00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:28,202
- And this season,
court is now in session.
637
00:19:28,202 --> 00:19:30,871
Half of the shit you done said
today is a bold-faced lie.
638
00:19:30,871 --> 00:19:32,673
Your mama stole your car?
- Yes, Your Honor.
639
00:19:32,673 --> 00:19:33,774
- I don't know
how it got broken.
640
00:19:33,774 --> 00:19:35,442
- Your wrist choked it out.
641
00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:36,910
- This not like
no $20 right here.
642
00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:39,046
This is $509.84.
643
00:19:39,046 --> 00:19:40,481
- I'm countersuing her
644
00:19:40,481 --> 00:19:42,649
because she begged me not
to press charges.
645
00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:44,918
- Tell me about buying
your side piece a car
646
00:19:44,918 --> 00:19:46,487
with your main piece money?
647
00:19:46,487 --> 00:19:47,688
- That is the wig.
648
00:19:47,688 --> 00:19:50,357
- Ah, hell no.
- [shrieking laughter]
649
00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:51,792
- I ain't gonna say you did it,
650
00:19:51,792 --> 00:19:53,260
but we know you did.
651
00:19:53,260 --> 00:19:54,628
[laughter]