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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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♪ MTV. ♪
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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Are you still here?
5
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:25,025
You need to get going.
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I can't get going.
I told you I don't feel well.
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00:00:28,329 --> 00:00:29,630
What's the matter now?
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00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:31,399
Oh, nothing, I just had
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00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:33,033
explosive fucking diarrhea
all night
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00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:35,603
because you decided
to get us KFC for dinner.
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You have KFC all the time.
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Yeah, and I have
diarrhea all the time!
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You're not staying home all day
and playing Baldur's Gate 3.
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- Now let's go.
- Ugh!
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00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:49,883
Have a good day at school, sweetie.
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Fuck you, Mom!
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This is bullshit.
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00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:57,791
How do you get your mom arrested
for child abuse?
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She wouldn't let you stay home
and play Baldur's Gate 3,
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huh, fat ass?
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Who you callin' fat,
you heathen bitch?
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Dude, you don't wanna
miss school today.
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00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:09,036
Clyde said he's gonna fart
on Tammy Mullins during P.E.
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00:01:09,137 --> 00:01:11,305
Tammy Mullins has
sweet fucking knockers.
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00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:13,974
Dude, Kenny,
enough about Tammy's knockers!
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You sound like
a white male trying to
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re-establish the patriarchy.
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(screaming)
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Eric, it's okay.
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- It's okay.
- Mom! Mom!
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I had a dream that...
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I was replaced
by a diverse woman!
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Oh, not again.
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Yeah, only this time,
it wasn't just me.
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They were taking all my favorite
people and replacing them
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with diverse women complaining
about the patriarchy.
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Will you check
under the bed and make sure
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there's no Disney executives
under there?
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- I promise there's not.
- I'm scared, Mom!
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Will you please just look
and make sure Kathleen Kennedy
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isn't under my bed?
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Kathleen Kennedy
is not under your bed.
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Can you check the closet?
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Eric, enough.
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I've told you there's no such
thing as Disney executives
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who replace everyone you love
with diverse women
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who complain
about the patriarchy.
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Now be a big boy.
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It's-it's not real.
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It's... it's not real.
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♪ ♪
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(rooster crows)
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- Get up!
- (yells)
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Come on, Stan, get up.
Let's go.
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- What, Dad?
- Downstairs.
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Let's go.
I'm sick of this shit.
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Okay.
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It has come to my attention
lately that
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young people today
don't know how to do shit.
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You got your phones and your AI
and you kids haven't
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00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:44,232
learned to be able
to actually do anything.
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So we're going
to take this morning to
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00:02:46,033 --> 00:02:49,237
learn how to fix something.
You see this?
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See this?
The oven door isn't working.
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It's falling off the hinges.
So what do we do?
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Shelley?
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I don't know.
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It's very simple.
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00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,749
You gotta
make the hinges tighter
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00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:03,317
so the oven door's more secure.
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So what you do is...
you take out your phone
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and you call the handyman.
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(line ringing)
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HANDYMAN (over phone): Hello?
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Hello. It's Randy Marsh.
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My oven door is not working.
Please come fix it.
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Now we rest
until the handyman comes.
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(tool clicking)
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Are you following this
at all, guys?
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- Is this seeping in?
- Nope.
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00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:35,683
No, it looks like
the screws are totally stripped.
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What does that mean?
What's wrong?
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Can't get 'er fixed right now,
I gotta get
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some different washers
at the Home Depot.
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00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:42,756
Okay, do that.
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00:03:42,856 --> 00:03:44,024
Can't do it right now,
I gotta get
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00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:45,826
over to Stephen Stotch's house
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and install his closet shelves.
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Okay, see, kids,
this happens sometimes
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00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:53,100
but handymen don't make a lot
of money, so here's what you do.
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00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,569
Oh, okay, I will pay you
an extra 30 bucks
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00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:57,305
if you fix my oven now.
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00:03:57,405 --> 00:04:00,774
Yeah, sorry, but Stotch already
gave me an extra 50 bucks.
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00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:03,444
I will pay you
an extra 55 bucks.
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00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:05,713
Randy, did you fix
the oven door yet?
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00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:07,681
I'm working on it!
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00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:09,016
Look, please.
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00:04:09,116 --> 00:04:10,618
Whatever you want.
I'll throw in a six-pack
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00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:12,152
of beer and you can get drunk.
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00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:14,221
I don't need your trivial
little perks anymore, Marsh.
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00:04:14,322 --> 00:04:17,325
I got work comin'
out my ears. It's like...
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00:04:17,325 --> 00:04:18,959
I don't know,
it's like nobody knows
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00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:20,961
how to do shit anymore.
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You're--
You're just gonna leave?
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I'll pay a different handyman.
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Yeah, go for it, buddy,
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I got so much money
I don't care.
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What the hell is going on?
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All right, just try to relax.
Take a deep breath.
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(inhales) Now tell me exactly
what it is you're afraid of.
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I keep having the same dream.
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Everywhere I look,
people are being replaced.
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Okay. And who do you think
is going to have you replaced?
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Them. The puppet masters.
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The last time I had the dream,
I was, I was walking
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down the school hallway...
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♪ ♪
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And then I see Butters,
and he's like...
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00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:03,771
(Cartman's voice):
Hey, Eric! You wanna see
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00:05:03,871 --> 00:05:05,105
what my mom packed me for lunch?
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00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:06,640
And that's when
I start to notice
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00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:08,075
that something's wrong.
Everyone I cared about
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00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:09,577
has been
systematically replaced.
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00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:11,211
And finally I want to scream
and I'm like...
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00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:13,080
Why are they replacing
every single character
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00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:14,748
with someone who is diverse?
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- But then Kenny's like...
- (Cartman's voice): It's not
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00:05:16,384 --> 00:05:17,751
our fault, it's 'cause of
Kathleen Kennedy.
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00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:19,052
But then Kathleen Kennedy's
just like...
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00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,454
Fuck it! Make it more lame.
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00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:22,423
CARTMAN:
And everyone in town is like,
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00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:24,291
"No, please, Kathleen Kennedy,
stop ruining everything."
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00:05:24,392 --> 00:05:25,593
But Kathleen Kennedy
is all like...
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00:05:25,693 --> 00:05:27,127
Put another gay diverse
woman in it.
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00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:28,929
Make it more fucking lame.
136
00:05:29,029 --> 00:05:31,064
And Disney stock just keeps
going down and down and down!
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00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,733
And then Bob Iger is all like...
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00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,002
(Cartman's voice): No! No!
What's going on with my stocks?
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00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:36,470
No, Kathleen Kennedy!
140
00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:38,739
(screaming)
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00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:41,875
Oh. It happened again,
didn't it?
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00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:45,112
Okay, Eric, I think I know
what's going on here.
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00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:48,782
Your fears aren't about Disney
replacing everything you love.
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00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:53,421
What everyone is afraid of these
days is being replaced by AI.
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00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:54,922
- AI?
- But you don't need
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00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,524
to worry, Eric.
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00:05:56,624 --> 00:05:59,026
As long as you work hard
and stay in school,
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00:05:59,126 --> 00:06:00,728
you can make something
of yourself.
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00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:03,831
Become an elite worker like
I did that AI can't replace.
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00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:05,433
You're a therapist
and the best thing
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00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:06,734
you have to tell me is
"stay in school"?
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00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:09,470
You're in control
of your future, Eric.
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00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:11,439
You just need to ask yourself,
154
00:06:11,439 --> 00:06:12,740
"Who will be the people
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00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:15,643
still making money
in the AI-driven future?"
156
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,311
(electricity crackles)
157
00:06:18,446 --> 00:06:20,180
What the-- What the fuck?
158
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:25,486
(tool clicking)
159
00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:27,054
Could you hurry it up, please?
160
00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:28,288
I kind of need to
get back to work.
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00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:29,590
Yep, well, looks like
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00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:31,358
you got a short
in the outlet there.
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00:06:31,459 --> 00:06:32,960
I'd have to get a new outlet
at Home Depot.
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00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,929
I can probably come
change it on the 28th.
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00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:37,898
28th? No, no, no, look.
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I'll give a hundred bucks
to get this done today.
167
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,503
I already got a feller
giving me thousands
168
00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:44,472
to fix his toilet
this afternoon.
169
00:06:44,472 --> 00:06:47,007
Thousands?
I can't afford that.
170
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,509
Free therapy sessions.
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00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:50,878
How about we trade?
You do the handiwork for me.
172
00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:53,213
And I'll give you five
free therapy sessions!
173
00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:54,748
Oh, no, thanks.
174
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:59,487
I do all my therapy
on the AI Freudbot app.
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00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:05,693
ANNOUNCER: This is
South Park Breaking News.
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00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:07,861
Shocking developments
in the country today,
177
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:10,931
it appears that nobody
knows how to do shit anymore.
178
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:13,634
Our own Chris Martins
is live on the scene.
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00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:16,303
Tom, I'm standing in
my bathroom where the new
180
00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:19,006
tile for my shower
has yet to be installed.
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00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:22,109
As you can see, the tile has
started to peel off in places.
182
00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:25,679
Now the handyman was supposed
to come days ago to fix it
183
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,114
but he claims to have
better offers
184
00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:28,716
from other white-collar workers
185
00:07:28,816 --> 00:07:31,985
like me whose practical
know-how has atrophied.
186
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:34,187
It appears
we've all screwed ourselves
187
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:37,525
by relying on technology and AI.
188
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:43,531
- (phone chimes)
- Hey, Siri,
189
00:07:43,531 --> 00:07:46,199
how do you fix
a broken oven door?
190
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:49,236
SIRI: Here's what I found
from reference.com.
191
00:07:49,336 --> 00:07:52,540
Undo any screws that
hold the hinges in position,
192
00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:54,642
pull the door upward
and then outwards
193
00:07:54,742 --> 00:07:56,710
to detach hinges from the oven.
194
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,746
Insert the new hinge
into the hinge holes
195
00:07:58,846 --> 00:08:01,682
and secure the hinges
with screws.
196
00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:06,019
Hey, Siri, okay,
can you do that for me?
197
00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:07,821
Can I do what for you?
198
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:10,123
Can you fix my oven door for me?
199
00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:11,859
It's broken.
200
00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:15,663
I cannot do that
because I do not have arms.
201
00:08:15,763 --> 00:08:17,798
You will need
to call a handyman.
202
00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:20,233
The handyman isn't available.
203
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:21,902
He's all, like, rich now
204
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,838
and I fucking rely on him to
keep everything working here!
205
00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:27,608
I am unable to fix an oven door.
206
00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:31,111
Oh, well, hey, Siri,
I thought AI was supposed to be
207
00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:34,815
this amazing scary advancement
that could, like, do anything.
208
00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:36,717
Hey, Randy,
the oven door in the kitchen
209
00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:38,652
- still isn't--
- I am working on it!
210
00:08:39,486 --> 00:08:42,089
Hey, Siri,
all the handymen are rich
211
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:45,593
and I can't afford them anymore
so what do I do?
212
00:08:45,693 --> 00:08:48,095
Perhaps you could find
an unlicensed worker
213
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:51,031
who does small day jobs
for cash.
214
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:53,601
You mean like those
broke-ass illegal immigrants
215
00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:55,502
down at Home Depot?
216
00:08:55,603 --> 00:08:57,605
I'm sorry, I shouldn't
have said it that way.
217
00:08:57,605 --> 00:08:59,740
Hey, Siri, you mean like those
218
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:02,409
broke-ass illegal immigrants
down at Home Depot?
219
00:09:02,509 --> 00:09:05,345
Yes. There are often
people sitting out front
220
00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:08,415
of Home Depot
waiting to be hired for work.
221
00:09:08,515 --> 00:09:11,018
Yeah. Those guys!
222
00:09:11,852 --> 00:09:13,987
(school bell rings)
223
00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:17,691
Hey, Kenny, can we talk to you?
224
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:19,159
Sure, guys, what's up?
225
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,294
Well, Clyde says that you
told Tammy Mullins
226
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,764
he was gonna fart on her in P.E.
so she didn't show up.
227
00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:25,799
Yeah, I might have told her.
228
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,467
Well, Kenny, everyone was really
looking forward to that.
229
00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:28,802
Why did you ruin it?
230
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,370
I told you guys
I think Tammy Mullins
231
00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:33,273
- has sweet fucking knockers.
- CARTMAN: You guys!
232
00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:36,443
You guys! Something super crazy
is happening, you guys.
233
00:09:36,543 --> 00:09:37,845
You went on a diet?
234
00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:39,479
This is serious, Kyle!
235
00:09:39,647 --> 00:09:40,981
At first they were just dreams,
236
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:43,216
but now I feel like
I'm actually changing.
237
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:45,919
Why would I be having visions
that I'm a diverse woman?
238
00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:47,921
Because you're a fat,
racist piece of shit.
239
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:50,323
Goddamn it, I'm not fat.
I'm just shamed for my body
240
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,092
in a world where white men
decide what's beautiful.
241
00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:54,461
(gasps)
What the fuck was that?!
242
00:09:54,561 --> 00:09:57,530
Why would I say that?
I don't say that. You see?!
243
00:09:57,665 --> 00:09:59,933
This is happening
to all of us, you guys.
244
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:01,702
You might think
everything is okay.
245
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:04,471
But Disney... is gonna get ya.
246
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:06,239
Kathleen Kennedy's
gonna get ya.
247
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:09,076
Disney and Kathleen Kennedy
are gonna get ya!
248
00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:10,878
(screaming)
249
00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:13,546
I don't think that what
I'm experiencing are dreams.
250
00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:15,515
I think that what
I'm seeing are windows...
251
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,685
into alternate universes.
252
00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:19,252
Yeah, okay, I'm out.
253
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:21,254
It's true, Kyle, there could be
254
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:22,990
other universes
with other versions of--
255
00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:24,792
Everyone's sick of
the stupid multiverse, Cartman.
256
00:10:24,892 --> 00:10:26,860
It's not stupid,
it's totally possible
257
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,461
and if you can't--
258
00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:30,063
(muffled): Kyle? Kyle?
259
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:32,099
I swear, the multiverse is
just an excuse for lazy writing.
260
00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:34,167
- Whoa. Kyle!
- Yeah, it's like
every damn movie now.
261
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:35,468
Kyle, what is this?
262
00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:37,570
Uh, you might
wanna listen to him, Kyle!
263
00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:39,339
Kyle, you gotta help me!
264
00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:40,407
Help me, Kyle!
265
00:10:40,507 --> 00:10:42,342
(screaming)
266
00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:58,792
(whistles) Hey!
267
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:00,193
Hey, I need a worker!
268
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:02,262
- Is that a handyman?
- There's one!
269
00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:03,764
- (all clamoring)
- Hey, you wanna trade?
270
00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:05,132
What the fuck?
271
00:11:05,232 --> 00:11:07,100
Randy! You know how
to do stuff, right?
272
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,368
I gotta get the radiant heat
273
00:11:08,468 --> 00:11:09,870
installed in my house
and I'm offering
274
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:11,739
free legal advice in exchange.
275
00:11:11,739 --> 00:11:13,306
You need a reporter?
276
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:15,743
I'll report the news to you
if you fix my shower tile!
277
00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:18,111
How about a computer programmer?
I can do coding!
278
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:19,847
Insurance broker?
Insurance broker?
279
00:11:19,947 --> 00:11:21,481
What the hell are
you guys doing here?
280
00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:23,817
We're trying to get
a handyman to do stuff for us.
281
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,953
You know how to
install radiant heat or not?
282
00:11:26,053 --> 00:11:29,589
No, I need some broke-ass
immigrants to fix my oven door.
283
00:11:29,757 --> 00:11:31,058
- (all groaning)
- Dang it.
284
00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:33,360
Hey! Here comes
a different handyman!
285
00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:38,498
(whistles) Hey, anyone wanna
make a bunch of money?
286
00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:41,568
I need four workers who know
how to use a power saw.
287
00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:45,205
I'll do lawyer work if
you install my radiant heat!
288
00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:47,040
I've got skills
in human resources.
289
00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:48,441
Let's work something out!
290
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:52,012
No, I need guys that know
how to work a power saw.
291
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:57,384
None of you know how to
work a power saw? Jesus Christ.
292
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,389
What universe is this?
293
00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:15,102
Yo, Kenny, we gotta
ask you something.
294
00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:17,971
Are you, like,
in love with Tammy Mullins?
295
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,573
I'm not in love with her,
I just like her knockers.
296
00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:23,043
Okay, well, why would you
protect someone from getting
297
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:25,813
farted on unless there
were some real feelings there?
298
00:12:25,813 --> 00:12:27,948
Dude, I said I was sorry, okay?
299
00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:29,482
You guys! You guys!
300
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:32,519
Something really weird
is going on!
301
00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:35,388
I keep having the same dream
that I'm a fat little white boy.
302
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:38,125
You ain't white,
but you definitely fat.
303
00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:39,692
This is serious, Kyle!
304
00:12:39,827 --> 00:12:42,930
It's more than a dream,
it's becoming like real now!
305
00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:44,431
I keep seeing all of you!
306
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:46,499
Being replaced by
little white motherfuckers!
307
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:49,169
Well, maybe you should try
not being so racist, Cartman.
308
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,404
You can't be racist
towards white people, Stan!
309
00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:54,641
They all honky-ass bitches!
You know what this is?
310
00:12:54,741 --> 00:12:57,644
I think this is some
alternate universe shit.
311
00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:00,513
Yeah, right, you just
acting crazy 'cause you wanna
312
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:03,383
- get sent home from school.
- No, I'm not, Kyle!
313
00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:05,185
Yeah, bitch, you just
wanna get sent home
314
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:07,387
so you can play Baldur's Gate 3.
315
00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:10,323
(yelling)
316
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,460
(yelling)
317
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:17,597
What the fuck?
318
00:13:17,697 --> 00:13:19,499
Oh, my God, it's all real!
319
00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:22,569
Whatever you're doing,
Cartman, we ain't buyin' it.
320
00:13:22,669 --> 00:13:25,405
Stay away from me! You aren't
my friends! Do you understand?
321
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:27,875
Is that supposed to be Cartman?
322
00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:29,576
It ain't Cartman
but it's still fat.
323
00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:31,444
Just more like
little round and fat.
324
00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:33,480
Yeah, like Tammy Mullins'
knockers.
325
00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:34,781
Kenny! Brah.
326
00:13:34,882 --> 00:13:36,950
Chill with the knockers. Man!
327
00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:39,286
No...
328
00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:41,654
No...!
329
00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:45,325
(school bell rings)
330
00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:47,460
Okay, so Clyde says he
can probably try to fart
331
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,229
on Tammy Mullins again
during fourth period.
332
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:51,164
But this time Kenny
has to keep his mouth shut.
333
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:53,366
It's fine!
I won't say anything, fine!
334
00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:55,535
He's gonna say something,
he's totally in love with her.
335
00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:58,605
- No, I'm not!
- You guys! You guys!
336
00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:00,908
Holy shit, you guys,
I fuckin' told you!
337
00:14:00,908 --> 00:14:03,576
I fuckin' told you this
was happening, didn't I?
338
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:05,678
Told us what was happening?
339
00:14:05,778 --> 00:14:07,380
I told you I was having
all these dreams
340
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:08,916
that I was a fat
little white boy
341
00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:10,918
and you guys were all
white boys too and now look!
342
00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:12,619
Y'all actually turned into 'em!
343
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:15,722
- Do we know you?
- I'm Cartman.
344
00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:18,625
And you're Kyle and you're Stan
and you're fucking Kenny.
345
00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:20,460
Only it's a parallel,
alternated universe
346
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:21,929
and y'all have been replaced.
347
00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:24,031
Uh, okay, cool lady.
348
00:14:24,131 --> 00:14:25,798
We gotta get to class.
349
00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:27,434
Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no!
350
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,169
You guys are gonna
listen to me this time!
351
00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:31,138
I need help!
352
00:14:31,238 --> 00:14:33,073
Cartman's just messing with us.
353
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:34,307
Fuck you, Kyle!
354
00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:35,842
This is serious,
you fuckin' butt-fucker!
355
00:14:35,943 --> 00:14:38,711
Yeah, listen, lady,
we really gotta get going.
356
00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:41,949
Will you guys fucking
listen to me?! I'm Cartman!
357
00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:44,952
You're not Cartman and
multiple universes are stupid.
358
00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:47,454
Oh, goddamn it!
359
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,691
Tom, I'm still here
live at the scene.
360
00:14:51,791 --> 00:14:54,394
Dozens of white-collar workers
are gathered hoping
361
00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:57,197
to get the attention of
just one handyman.
362
00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:59,766
It's a scene
of desperation and a reminder
363
00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:02,702
of where our
country's economy is headed.
364
00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:08,708
- Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
- (all clamoring)
365
00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:12,545
Hey, hey! Excuse me,
you're a handyman, right?
366
00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:15,082
Can I get you to come look
at my oven door?
367
00:15:15,182 --> 00:15:16,716
I can trade you services.
368
00:15:16,816 --> 00:15:20,120
I have geology skills.
Could you come fix my door
369
00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:21,854
and I'll give you some geology?
370
00:15:21,989 --> 00:15:24,992
Hey, why don't you guys
get outta here?
371
00:15:24,992 --> 00:15:28,261
You're making the Home Depot
look all shitty.
372
00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:32,132
Fuckin' rich assholes.
373
00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:33,833
- (all grumbling)
- Ugh, sucks.
374
00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:35,002
Aw, man.
375
00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:37,437
Boy, I wish
I knew how to fix stuff.
376
00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:38,638
I'd be rich, too.
377
00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:40,907
I could know how to fix stuff!
378
00:15:41,008 --> 00:15:42,909
The problem is
when I could have been learning
379
00:15:43,010 --> 00:15:46,179
how to fix stuff, I went
to fucking college instead!
380
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,614
Hey, yeah, he's right.
381
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:50,317
We all went to college,
and where did it get us?
382
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:52,719
Yeah, I'm still paying off
my college loans.
383
00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:55,722
Yeah, so am I! Now I don't
know how to do anything
384
00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:58,491
'cause I got suckered into going
to college and learning stupid
385
00:15:58,591 --> 00:16:01,628
geology that anyone can know
'cause of goddamn AI!
386
00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:02,929
Yeah, fuck college!
387
00:16:03,030 --> 00:16:04,597
Let's go
get our fucking money back!
388
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:06,899
- OTHERS: Yeah!
- Yeah! Fuck college!
389
00:16:07,034 --> 00:16:08,868
- Come on, let's go!
- (all clamoring)
390
00:16:10,237 --> 00:16:12,472
(clamoring continues)
391
00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:14,907
- Stupid college!
- You wasted our time!
392
00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:18,145
- Fuck you, college!
- Piece of shit college!
393
00:16:18,245 --> 00:16:19,646
Hey-hey, college!
394
00:16:19,746 --> 00:16:22,082
You know what you are?!
You're a scam!
395
00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:23,350
College is a scam!
396
00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:25,352
- (cheering)
- OTHERS: Yeah!
397
00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:26,619
Yeah, that's right!
398
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:27,754
Yeah, hey, college!
399
00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:29,389
Here's my student loan bill.
400
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,324
That I'm still paying off!
401
00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:33,793
Well, guess what,
I'm not paying it!
402
00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:36,663
- Yeah!
- We don't owe you nothing!
403
00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:38,531
- (all clamoring)
- RANDY: Guess what, college?!
404
00:16:38,631 --> 00:16:42,069
We don't owe you money,
you owe us money!
405
00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:43,303
OTHERS:
Yeah!
406
00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:46,373
Yeah, that's right!
407
00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:49,242
You think you can
just sit there and not even
408
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,911
respond to us, college?
Okay!
409
00:16:52,079 --> 00:16:54,647
You aren't going to destroy
any more lives!
410
00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:56,383
All right, bring in
the catapult.
411
00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:58,085
Bring in the catapult!
412
00:16:58,085 --> 00:16:59,086
OTHERS:
Yeah!
413
00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:00,453
Yeah, that's right!
414
00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:02,889
(grunting)
415
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:09,096
- What's that?
- That's the catapult.
416
00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:11,964
Well, but it's still in the box.
417
00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:14,467
Yeah, somebody's
gotta put it together.
418
00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:16,336
Well, how are we gonna...
419
00:17:16,436 --> 00:17:17,737
Hang on, college!
420
00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:19,106
How're we gonna
break the college if
421
00:17:19,106 --> 00:17:20,673
the catapult is still
in the box?
422
00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:22,309
It's okay,
we called the handyman.
423
00:17:22,409 --> 00:17:24,511
He's gonna build it for us.
424
00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:33,220
Hello, gentlemen, what
seems to be the problem?
425
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:34,887
Oh! Oh!
426
00:17:34,987 --> 00:17:36,689
You said
you couldn't work today.
427
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:38,625
You're supposed
to fix my oven door!
428
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:40,393
I've got a lot of jobs there, buddy.
429
00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:41,794
This one paid the most today.
430
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:44,331
We all pooled together
and offered him $20,000.
431
00:17:44,431 --> 00:17:45,998
$20,000?
432
00:17:46,133 --> 00:17:47,667
What the fuck
are you guys doing?!
433
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:50,170
You're gonna make him
totally impossible now!
434
00:17:51,138 --> 00:17:52,472
(phone beeps)
435
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:54,874
All right, send Broflovski,
Marsh and McKormick
436
00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:57,009
into my office, please.
437
00:17:58,211 --> 00:17:59,346
Aw, what the hell?
438
00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:00,880
Sit down, boys.
One of our students here
439
00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:02,449
says you've been
treating them unfairly.
440
00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:05,452
- Treating who unfairly?
- We didn't do anything!
441
00:18:05,552 --> 00:18:07,154
We're just minding
our own business
442
00:18:07,154 --> 00:18:08,855
and she keeps saying
she's Eric Cartman!
443
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:11,991
Okay. And what's
wrong with that?
444
00:18:13,726 --> 00:18:16,163
What's wrong is it
doesn't make any sense.
445
00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:17,697
Okay, I see.
446
00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:19,366
There's a diverse female
where Cartman used to be
447
00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:20,667
and you don't like that.
448
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:22,769
It's not that we
don't like it, it's...
449
00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:24,070
don't you think that's weird?
450
00:18:24,171 --> 00:18:25,872
I don't see
a problem with it at all.
451
00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:27,674
And if you boys don't think
Eric can be a Black woman,
452
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,842
then maybe the problem is you.
453
00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:32,044
What?
454
00:18:32,179 --> 00:18:33,313
You think it's perfectly normal
455
00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:35,081
that Cartman
is suddenly a Black woman?
456
00:18:35,182 --> 00:18:36,516
You probably don't like
that Indiana Jones got replaced
457
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,185
by a female either, huh?
458
00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:40,320
You probably have a problem
with Black Spider-Man, too.
459
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:42,021
No! Miles Morales is sweet.
460
00:18:42,189 --> 00:18:43,323
That's a whole constructed thing
461
00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:44,924
with its own character
and narrative!
462
00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:48,027
This is just taking Cartman,
same old Cartman,
463
00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:49,929
and putting a Black woman in it.
464
00:18:50,029 --> 00:18:52,064
Well, you know what I think
about that, Kyle?
465
00:18:52,199 --> 00:18:53,333
Hold on. Hold on.
466
00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:54,801
- (farts)
- (laughs)
467
00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:56,436
That's what I think
about that, Kyle! (laughs)
468
00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:57,770
Goddamn it, Cartman!
469
00:18:57,870 --> 00:18:59,472
Dude, what the fuck
is going on?!
470
00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:01,274
I'll tell you what's going on.
471
00:19:01,374 --> 00:19:03,210
You boys feel that your white
culture is being threatened
472
00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:04,944
and so you're
lashing out with racism.
473
00:19:05,044 --> 00:19:06,813
And if you
say anything more about
474
00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:08,515
a Black woman Cartman
not making any sense,
475
00:19:08,615 --> 00:19:10,517
then you can all just have
three weeks' detention!
476
00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:11,951
Now get out of my office!
477
00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:13,720
- Goddamn it!
- (laughs)
478
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,588
Fuck you, Kyle.
You have to help me!
479
00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:17,657
How's that fart feeling
on your face right now?
480
00:19:17,757 --> 00:19:19,025
KYLE:
Shut up!
481
00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:22,229
CARTMAN: Na-na-na-na-na.
Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.
482
00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:28,235
(overlapping chatter)
483
00:19:28,235 --> 00:19:31,438
(Cartman moaning)
484
00:19:31,538 --> 00:19:34,241
And we both told Clyde,
"Okay, you can try to fart
485
00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:36,243
on Tammy Mullins later.
Kenny won't tell her."
486
00:19:36,243 --> 00:19:39,045
And guess what? This little
motherfucker does it again!
487
00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:41,481
I'm sorry.
She hypnotized me.
488
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:43,250
Everyone's trying
to enjoy themselves, dude.
489
00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:45,252
Why do you keep fucking it up?
490
00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:47,019
Hey, who's the fat
little white boy?
491
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:49,121
Who knows?
White heterosexual males
492
00:19:49,256 --> 00:19:50,823
think they're welcome anywhere.
493
00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:53,760
- (moaning)
- (bell chimes)
494
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:56,429
Okay, children,
let's take our seats.
495
00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:59,499
Today we're going to
talk more about female exclusion
496
00:19:59,599 --> 00:20:01,067
in the male patriarchy.
497
00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:02,869
(moaning)
498
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:05,972
Uh, Butters,
who is that sitting next to you?
499
00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:07,206
Oh, I don't know, ma'am.
500
00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:09,409
I think it's
supposed to be Eric.
501
00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:11,010
I am Eric!
502
00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:13,246
All Cartman cares about
is playing Baldur's Gate 3.
503
00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:15,448
So the bitch did a switcheroo
with Spanky here.
504
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:17,083
That is not what's going on!
505
00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:19,352
And I am not going to sit here
and be insulted anymore!
506
00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:21,087
I am a respected citizen
in my universe
507
00:20:21,187 --> 00:20:23,423
and I demand to speak to
someone with authority!
508
00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:27,026
- (radio static)
- Is there a problem here?
509
00:20:28,295 --> 00:20:31,130
No!
510
00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:34,801
(tool whirring)
511
00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:37,370
Eight years.
512
00:20:37,470 --> 00:20:40,373
Eight years I spent
wasting time at stupid college
513
00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:42,442
when I could have been
learning how to do stuff.
514
00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:45,845
All the time we spent
memorizing, studying-- for what?
515
00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:49,282
Anyone gets any info they want
with the touch of a button now.
516
00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:51,884
All right,
I think she's ready to go.
517
00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:53,986
- It's ready! It's ready!
- (all clamoring)
518
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:56,923
Okay, okay, aim it
at the center of the school.
519
00:20:57,023 --> 00:20:58,425
How do we fire it?
520
00:20:58,525 --> 00:21:00,527
There's a big red button here.
Should I press it?
521
00:21:00,627 --> 00:21:02,429
Yeah, yeah, let 'er rip!
522
00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:11,237
- Yeah! Yeah!
- (all cheering)
523
00:21:11,338 --> 00:21:13,806
Yeah, take that, college!
524
00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:15,542
Let's see them ignore that!
525
00:21:15,642 --> 00:21:17,910
I can't wait
to see what they do now.
526
00:21:18,010 --> 00:21:20,012
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
527
00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:21,581
Hey-hey, wait, what's that?
528
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,622
Hey! Hey, no,
you son of a bitch!
529
00:21:31,090 --> 00:21:33,560
GERALD:
He's just gonna fix the glass!
530
00:21:33,660 --> 00:21:35,027
Ugh!
531
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,363
You fucking give these
billionaires your money
532
00:21:36,463 --> 00:21:37,897
and then another billionaire
just comes
533
00:21:37,997 --> 00:21:39,666
and profits off of that.
534
00:21:39,766 --> 00:21:42,068
Society is so fucked up!
535
00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:51,210
Something is
wrong with the universe.
536
00:21:51,378 --> 00:21:53,012
Our stocks are down
and every Disney movie
537
00:21:53,112 --> 00:21:54,681
this year has failed!
538
00:21:54,781 --> 00:21:56,383
We don't understand it, sir.
539
00:21:56,383 --> 00:21:58,585
We keep making
the same movie over and over
540
00:21:58,685 --> 00:22:01,788
and pandering to everyone
but suddenly it's not working.
541
00:22:01,888 --> 00:22:04,223
Then we've got to pander harder!
542
00:22:04,391 --> 00:22:06,593
Look, I don't want
to have to say it, but...
543
00:22:06,693 --> 00:22:09,596
I think the problem is
Kathleen Kennedy.
544
00:22:11,030 --> 00:22:13,800
Kathleen Kennedy has
made studios a lot of money.
545
00:22:13,900 --> 00:22:17,404
Yes, before. But you have
to admit something's changed.
546
00:22:17,504 --> 00:22:19,972
For weeks now she's been
completely different.
547
00:22:20,072 --> 00:22:22,475
- It's true.
- What if...
548
00:22:22,575 --> 00:22:25,412
this is a different
Kathleen Kennedy?
549
00:22:27,146 --> 00:22:28,247
What are you saying, Rick?
550
00:22:28,415 --> 00:22:30,249
I'm just saying
isn't it possible
551
00:22:30,417 --> 00:22:32,919
that we here
at Disney pandered so much...
552
00:22:33,019 --> 00:22:36,423
that we've opened a doorway
to the panderverse.
553
00:22:37,223 --> 00:22:38,925
The panderverse
is just a theory!
554
00:22:39,025 --> 00:22:42,028
And yet we do have
the panderstone downstairs.
555
00:22:42,128 --> 00:22:45,465
It's possible that someone
has tampered with it somehow.
556
00:22:45,565 --> 00:22:47,434
Well, she's on her way in
right now.
557
00:22:47,434 --> 00:22:49,536
If you wanna tell
Kathleen Kennedy you think
558
00:22:49,636 --> 00:22:51,203
she's from
an alternate universe,
559
00:22:51,303 --> 00:22:54,240
because we misused
the panderstone, go right ahead!
560
00:22:54,340 --> 00:22:57,477
(doors creak open)
561
00:23:03,282 --> 00:23:05,184
Is there a problem, people?
562
00:23:06,953 --> 00:23:08,488
No problem at all, Mrs. Kennedy.
563
00:23:08,588 --> 00:23:10,457
We were just discussing ideas
564
00:23:10,457 --> 00:23:12,291
of what to do with
the new Prince Eric movie.
565
00:23:12,459 --> 00:23:14,461
Put a chick in it, make her gay!
566
00:23:14,561 --> 00:23:18,965
Uh, yes, Mrs. Kennedy,
uh, some of the execs are just
567
00:23:19,065 --> 00:23:21,668
- expressing that maybe--
- Well, that maybe we should go
568
00:23:21,768 --> 00:23:24,136
a different route than we did
with Indiana Jones.
569
00:23:24,236 --> 00:23:25,505
Fuck Indiana Jones!
570
00:23:25,605 --> 00:23:27,707
Put a chick in it
and make her lame and gay!
571
00:23:29,676 --> 00:23:30,810
Sure. Yeah.
572
00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:33,713
Let's try that... again.
573
00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:37,484
♪ ♪
574
00:23:37,484 --> 00:23:39,786
(indistinct chatter)
575
00:23:40,820 --> 00:23:43,490
And then... and then there was,
like, this ball
576
00:23:43,490 --> 00:23:44,991
and then Eric floated up
577
00:23:45,091 --> 00:23:46,626
into this portal
and disappeared!
578
00:23:46,726 --> 00:23:48,260
I don't care
what you saw, Butters,
579
00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:49,496
there's gotta be
a better explanation
580
00:23:49,596 --> 00:23:51,397
than just the stupid multiverse.
581
00:23:51,498 --> 00:23:53,099
Some multiverse stuff is cool.
582
00:23:53,199 --> 00:23:54,767
Yeah, it can be cool for,
like, one movie.
583
00:23:54,867 --> 00:23:56,503
Now it's just this
cheap device that people use
584
00:23:56,603 --> 00:23:58,538
to breathe life
into tired franchises.
585
00:23:58,638 --> 00:24:00,707
What are you guys talking about?
586
00:24:02,041 --> 00:24:05,745
Uh, we were just talking about
how amazing this all is.
587
00:24:05,845 --> 00:24:07,379
Okay, I've been trying to think
588
00:24:07,514 --> 00:24:08,815
about what we should do,
you guys.
589
00:24:08,915 --> 00:24:10,517
I think I know
how to make everything right,
590
00:24:10,617 --> 00:24:12,251
but we're gonna need
a really powerful computer.
591
00:24:12,351 --> 00:24:13,686
Are you gonna eat
your brownie, Kenny?
592
00:24:13,786 --> 00:24:15,221
Yeah, I'm gonna eat my brownie!
593
00:24:15,321 --> 00:24:17,323
Okay, fine, so we'll take you
to the computer lab.
594
00:24:17,423 --> 00:24:18,591
No, no, no, no, for this,
595
00:24:18,691 --> 00:24:20,126
we gotta get
a really powerful system.
596
00:24:20,226 --> 00:24:22,695
Is Kyle's mom still a big
fat bitch in this universe?
597
00:24:22,795 --> 00:24:24,797
What? My mom's not a bitch.
598
00:24:24,897 --> 00:24:27,033
Well, I mean,
she is kind of bitchy.
599
00:24:27,133 --> 00:24:28,568
She's a big dumb bitch, huh?
600
00:24:28,668 --> 00:24:30,670
What does calling my mom a bitch
have to do with anything?
601
00:24:30,770 --> 00:24:32,972
Because we could fake
a letter from Kyle's mom
602
00:24:33,072 --> 00:24:35,041
giving Kyle permission
to use her credit card number
603
00:24:35,141 --> 00:24:37,544
to buy all the stuff
we need at Best Buy.
604
00:24:37,544 --> 00:24:40,547
I mean, PC Principal
did say we have to help him.
605
00:24:40,547 --> 00:24:42,649
Her. Them. It.
606
00:24:42,749 --> 00:24:44,584
That's the dumbest idea ever!
607
00:24:44,684 --> 00:24:46,886
I don't even know what
my mom's credit number is!
608
00:24:46,986 --> 00:24:48,320
8-7-1-5...
609
00:24:48,420 --> 00:24:49,589
3-2-7...
610
00:24:49,689 --> 00:24:50,389
4-9-2...
611
00:24:50,557 --> 00:24:51,891
2-1-0-0-7.
612
00:24:51,991 --> 00:24:53,425
I use it all the time.
613
00:24:56,629 --> 00:25:00,366
- (phones ringing)
- (keyboards clacking)
614
00:25:03,435 --> 00:25:05,605
All right. Full name?
615
00:25:06,573 --> 00:25:08,775
What is your name, sir?
616
00:25:08,875 --> 00:25:11,811
I told them already
my name is Eric Cartman.
617
00:25:11,911 --> 00:25:14,013
We know Eric Cartman, okay?
618
00:25:14,113 --> 00:25:16,816
Eric Cartman is in here
all the time getting in trouble.
619
00:25:16,916 --> 00:25:18,685
That's because I'm
from a different universe!
620
00:25:18,785 --> 00:25:20,152
How many times do I have
to tell you people?
621
00:25:20,252 --> 00:25:21,754
The Disney company tried to
use their platform
622
00:25:21,854 --> 00:25:24,456
to bring about social change
and I got fucked.
623
00:25:24,591 --> 00:25:27,493
Hey, Chief. Chief,
you gotta hear this one.
624
00:25:27,594 --> 00:25:29,328
What is it, Johnston?
625
00:25:29,428 --> 00:25:30,763
Aw, God.
626
00:25:30,863 --> 00:25:32,732
This little white boy
claims he's actually
627
00:25:32,832 --> 00:25:34,200
from a different universe.
628
00:25:34,300 --> 00:25:35,635
Is that so?
629
00:25:35,735 --> 00:25:37,003
All right, honkey,
what kind of narcotics
630
00:25:37,103 --> 00:25:39,806
are you on?
Did you do a cavity search?
631
00:25:39,906 --> 00:25:41,473
Have you even said what
you've arrested me for?
632
00:25:41,608 --> 00:25:43,910
I come from a place where this
is extremely inappropriate.
633
00:25:44,010 --> 00:25:46,445
- OFFICER: Chief! Hey, Chief!
- Yeah?
634
00:25:46,613 --> 00:25:48,615
There's some
crazy white lady downstairs
635
00:25:48,615 --> 00:25:50,650
freakin' out and saying
she needs to talk to you.
636
00:25:50,750 --> 00:25:51,984
More honkies?
637
00:25:52,084 --> 00:25:53,720
What is this,
a Taylor Swift concert?
638
00:25:53,820 --> 00:25:55,655
Tell the nice lady
I'll see her after I'm done
639
00:25:55,755 --> 00:25:57,489
with "Eric Cartman" here.
640
00:25:57,624 --> 00:25:58,958
Well, that's just it, Chief.
641
00:25:59,058 --> 00:26:01,360
She's sayin' she's
looking for an Eric Cartman.
642
00:26:01,460 --> 00:26:03,395
Says her name
is Kathleen Kennedy.
643
00:26:03,495 --> 00:26:06,365
Kathleen Kennedy?! No!
644
00:26:06,465 --> 00:26:08,234
She's gonna try to change me,
too! I'm the only one left!
645
00:26:08,334 --> 00:26:11,537
- Hey, get back here!
- She's gonna get me!
646
00:26:13,806 --> 00:26:16,408
- (clamoring)
- Tom, I'm standing outside
647
00:26:16,508 --> 00:26:19,746
the South Park Country Club
where protestors have gathered
648
00:26:19,846 --> 00:26:22,214
to point out
the unfairness in our economy.
649
00:26:22,314 --> 00:26:25,251
The White House says they're
doing all they can but it's been
650
00:26:25,351 --> 00:26:29,021
several days now and my bathroom
tile still is not installed.
651
00:26:29,121 --> 00:26:32,291
Yeah, that's right. You see,
the whole system is rigged.
652
00:26:32,391 --> 00:26:35,061
You've got people like us
who just need our stuff fixed,
653
00:26:35,161 --> 00:26:37,263
and meanwhile
there's these billionaires
654
00:26:37,363 --> 00:26:38,564
that have all the control!
655
00:26:38,665 --> 00:26:39,966
Did you know that if just
656
00:26:40,066 --> 00:26:41,567
one of these billionaires
spread their wealth,
657
00:26:41,668 --> 00:26:44,036
- (phone ringing)
- it would mean thousands
to every per--
658
00:26:44,136 --> 00:26:45,471
it would mean thousands
to every--
659
00:26:45,571 --> 00:26:46,906
Sorry, hang on, just a second.
660
00:26:47,006 --> 00:26:48,407
Yeah?
661
00:26:48,507 --> 00:26:50,677
Hey, Ran, the oven door still
isn't shutting right.
662
00:26:50,777 --> 00:26:52,679
Yeah, I'm working on it, Sharon!
663
00:26:52,679 --> 00:26:54,914
I'm actually
working on it right now!
664
00:26:55,014 --> 00:26:56,749
Hey, one of them's coming out!
665
00:26:56,849 --> 00:26:58,150
(all clamoring)
666
00:26:58,250 --> 00:26:59,952
Please, just glance
at my water pressure!
667
00:27:00,052 --> 00:27:02,554
Mr. Fix It, can you please
tell us why you haven't been
668
00:27:02,689 --> 00:27:04,190
responding to people's calls?
669
00:27:04,290 --> 00:27:07,093
Well, I've just been busy
with my various assets.
670
00:27:07,193 --> 00:27:08,828
You see, I've been trying
to acquire
671
00:27:08,928 --> 00:27:12,699
some social media platforms.
I just bought Instagram.
672
00:27:12,699 --> 00:27:15,001
What? The country needs
stuff fixed.
673
00:27:15,101 --> 00:27:17,837
Why the fuck are you out
buying Instagram?!
674
00:27:17,937 --> 00:27:19,305
(tires screech)
675
00:27:20,439 --> 00:27:23,776
Hey, did you just outbid me
to acquire Instagram?
676
00:27:23,876 --> 00:27:25,177
Yeah, I outbid you.
677
00:27:25,277 --> 00:27:27,880
I own Instagram now
and you don't!
678
00:27:27,980 --> 00:27:29,615
Oh, yeah?
Well, I just acquired
679
00:27:29,716 --> 00:27:31,718
the entire
Bloomberg media company!
680
00:27:31,818 --> 00:27:33,352
Oh, yeah?
Well, I can kick your ass.
681
00:27:33,452 --> 00:27:35,021
You wanna fight me MMA?
682
00:27:35,121 --> 00:27:37,123
Yeah, I'll fight you MMA,
let's do it.
683
00:27:37,223 --> 00:27:38,925
What the hell
are they doing now?
684
00:27:39,025 --> 00:27:40,492
I'm just gonna make a company
685
00:27:40,592 --> 00:27:42,094
and I'm gonna fly to space!
686
00:27:42,194 --> 00:27:44,363
I bet I can get to space
before you do!
687
00:27:44,463 --> 00:27:47,900
Gal! Fuck these guys!
688
00:27:52,338 --> 00:27:55,007
She has all the right things
in her purse.
689
00:27:55,107 --> 00:27:56,976
Her driver's license
says Kathleen Kennedy,
690
00:27:57,076 --> 00:27:59,078
she has Kathleen Kennedy
credit cards.
691
00:27:59,178 --> 00:28:01,848
This is definitely all the same
makeup Mrs. Kennedy uses.
692
00:28:01,948 --> 00:28:04,984
I mean, according to this,
she really is Kathleen Kennedy.
693
00:28:05,084 --> 00:28:07,754
Or Kathleen Kennedy
from another universe.
694
00:28:07,754 --> 00:28:09,488
That's enough! Please!
695
00:28:09,588 --> 00:28:11,824
We're not going to
waste our time chasing
696
00:28:11,924 --> 00:28:13,592
after wild scientific theories!
697
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:14,827
Well, we have to do something.
698
00:28:14,927 --> 00:28:16,963
Kathleen Kennedy is down
on set right now
699
00:28:17,063 --> 00:28:18,865
ruining the new Bambi movie!
700
00:28:18,965 --> 00:28:21,300
Put a diverse woman in it,
make it lame!
701
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:24,904
But Mrs. Kennedy,
Bam-Bambi's a baby deer.
702
00:28:25,004 --> 00:28:27,974
Fuck baby deer!
Put a chick in it, make her gay!
703
00:28:28,074 --> 00:28:30,242
You guys, you better
come take a look at this.
704
00:28:30,342 --> 00:28:33,345
I don't think we are dealing
with our Kathleen Kennedy.
705
00:28:33,445 --> 00:28:35,614
I took images of Mrs. Kennedy
and put them
706
00:28:35,782 --> 00:28:38,017
against images of her
from a few months ago.
707
00:28:38,117 --> 00:28:40,652
With AI we could detect
the smallest irregularities.
708
00:28:40,787 --> 00:28:42,421
Take a look.
709
00:28:50,196 --> 00:28:53,499
All right. What do we know
about the panderverse?
710
00:28:53,599 --> 00:28:54,901
I'm afraid we know...
711
00:28:55,001 --> 00:28:56,335
frighteningly little.
712
00:28:56,435 --> 00:28:59,105
The only thing we know for sure
713
00:28:59,205 --> 00:29:01,173
is that if a portal
were somehow opened
714
00:29:01,273 --> 00:29:02,608
with the panderstone,
715
00:29:02,708 --> 00:29:05,377
then both universes
eventually will collide,
716
00:29:05,477 --> 00:29:09,181
leading to a level of pandering
we can't even fathom.
717
00:29:09,281 --> 00:29:11,083
That we know for sure. Yes.
718
00:29:11,183 --> 00:29:12,284
IGER:
Then we have to get everyone
719
00:29:12,384 --> 00:29:14,220
back to the right universe.
720
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:17,957
Before it's complete pandermonium.
721
00:29:29,836 --> 00:29:32,471
Okay, Kenny,
switch on the power supply.
722
00:29:32,571 --> 00:29:35,074
Stan, make sure
we've got ethernet!
723
00:29:35,174 --> 00:29:36,608
- All good.
- All right,
724
00:29:36,708 --> 00:29:37,910
let's just hope this works.
725
00:29:38,010 --> 00:29:40,012
Oh, man, what the hell?
726
00:29:40,112 --> 00:29:42,481
Dude, Kyle, what is up
with your Internet speed?
727
00:29:42,581 --> 00:29:44,716
Go tell your parents to
upgrade your Internet speed.
728
00:29:44,851 --> 00:29:45,985
No!
729
00:29:46,085 --> 00:29:47,453
Kyle, I know
you're afraid of your mom
730
00:29:47,553 --> 00:29:49,721
'cause she's a fat bitch,
but we have to do this.
731
00:29:49,856 --> 00:29:51,223
Stop calling my mom a bitch!
732
00:29:51,323 --> 00:29:53,325
- (knocking)
- Kyle!
733
00:29:53,425 --> 00:29:55,194
I just got an alert
that someone used
734
00:29:55,294 --> 00:29:57,063
my credit card at Best Buy?!
735
00:29:57,163 --> 00:30:00,332
Oh, hello, Mrs. Broflovski.
736
00:30:00,432 --> 00:30:03,302
My goodness,
you're looking nice today.
737
00:30:03,402 --> 00:30:04,904
What?
738
00:30:05,004 --> 00:30:06,805
You know, credit card fraud
739
00:30:06,906 --> 00:30:08,407
is very serious,
Mrs. Broflovski.
740
00:30:08,507 --> 00:30:10,342
You should call your
Internet company right away
741
00:30:10,442 --> 00:30:13,012
and up your speed
and make sure you're protected.
742
00:30:13,112 --> 00:30:16,048
Really? Kyle, who is this?
743
00:30:16,148 --> 00:30:18,017
Oh, haven't you heard, Mom?
744
00:30:18,117 --> 00:30:19,886
We're in a multiverse
and this is
745
00:30:19,986 --> 00:30:21,420
supposed to be Eric Cartman.
746
00:30:22,221 --> 00:30:23,655
Oh, okay, I'm fine with that.
747
00:30:23,755 --> 00:30:25,992
I better go call
the Internet company.
748
00:30:26,092 --> 00:30:27,393
What do you mean
you're fine with that?
749
00:30:27,493 --> 00:30:30,062
I think all this stuff
is great, Kyle.
750
00:30:30,162 --> 00:30:32,164
And what "all stuff"
is that, exactly?
751
00:30:32,264 --> 00:30:34,033
Ha! It worked.
752
00:30:34,133 --> 00:30:35,935
She's gonna call
the Internet company.
753
00:30:36,035 --> 00:30:38,504
Your mom is such
a dumb bitch, Kyle!
754
00:30:38,604 --> 00:30:39,939
Shut up, Cartman!
755
00:30:40,039 --> 00:30:43,609
♪ Loo, loo, loo,
I got some apples ♪
756
00:30:43,709 --> 00:30:47,513
♪ Loo, loo, loo,
you got some, too ♪
757
00:30:47,613 --> 00:30:50,682
♪ Loo, loo, loo, let's
make some applesauce... ♪
758
00:30:50,782 --> 00:30:52,184
- Butters.
- (yells)
759
00:30:52,284 --> 00:30:53,619
Butters! Butters, listen to me.
760
00:30:53,719 --> 00:30:56,222
- It's me, Eric.
- You-You-You're not Eric!
761
00:30:56,322 --> 00:30:57,623
Yes, I am Eric Cartman, Butters.
762
00:30:57,723 --> 00:30:59,191
Kathleen Kennedy
is trying to get me.
763
00:30:59,291 --> 00:31:00,859
She won't stop until her
master plan is complete.
764
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,963
I'm not supposed to have
anyone in my room, I'm grounded!
765
00:31:04,063 --> 00:31:06,365
Butters, Disney is going to
get me. They already got you!
766
00:31:06,465 --> 00:31:07,934
(gasps) They did?!
767
00:31:07,934 --> 00:31:09,401
We are in this together, Butters.
768
00:31:09,501 --> 00:31:10,937
You have to
keep me safe until I can
769
00:31:10,937 --> 00:31:13,940
- figure out how we're gonna--
- (knocking)
770
00:31:13,940 --> 00:31:16,008
She's here!
Butters, don't let her get me.
771
00:31:16,108 --> 00:31:18,677
- (knocking)
- VOICE: Butters?!
772
00:31:18,777 --> 00:31:22,248
Butters! Why didn't you
answer this door?
773
00:31:22,348 --> 00:31:23,950
Oh. Hey, Dad.
774
00:31:23,950 --> 00:31:26,818
What are you doing up here?
And why do you look so scared?
775
00:31:26,953 --> 00:31:30,957
Oh, I'm not scared, I'm just,
uh, I'm just having fun.
776
00:31:30,957 --> 00:31:32,291
Well, no having fun.
777
00:31:32,391 --> 00:31:35,027
You are grounded.
Start being more miserable.
778
00:31:35,127 --> 00:31:37,329
- Dad?
- Yes, Butters?
779
00:31:37,429 --> 00:31:40,166
Uh, could you check
under my bed and make sure
780
00:31:40,266 --> 00:31:41,767
Kathleen Kennedy isn't there?
781
00:31:41,867 --> 00:31:44,303
Butters, what have I told you
about being more mature?
782
00:31:44,403 --> 00:31:46,438
I can assure you
Kathleen Kennedy
783
00:31:46,538 --> 00:31:48,607
is not under your bed!
784
00:31:50,776 --> 00:31:52,544
(muffled groaning)
785
00:31:52,644 --> 00:31:53,980
(both screaming)
786
00:31:53,980 --> 00:31:55,047
That's fucking Kathleen Kennedy!
787
00:31:55,147 --> 00:31:56,048
Right fucking there!
788
00:31:56,148 --> 00:31:57,416
(both screaming)
789
00:31:58,317 --> 00:32:00,152
You! Come here!
790
00:32:00,252 --> 00:32:02,088
No, no, no, no, no!
791
00:32:02,188 --> 00:32:04,490
(grunting)
792
00:32:04,590 --> 00:32:07,493
No, no! No, no, no!
793
00:32:16,868 --> 00:32:18,537
(sputters)
794
00:32:20,306 --> 00:32:21,640
Well, Shelley,
795
00:32:21,740 --> 00:32:23,775
we need to talk
about your future.
796
00:32:23,875 --> 00:32:27,013
You see, there's very few
people at the top these days.
797
00:32:27,013 --> 00:32:29,581
AI can do everything
better than we can,
798
00:32:29,681 --> 00:32:32,518
except for stuff
that requires arms.
799
00:32:33,885 --> 00:32:36,322
I don't want you to
end up a deadbeat loser
800
00:32:36,422 --> 00:32:38,024
who goes to college, Shelley.
801
00:32:38,124 --> 00:32:39,758
You need to stay out of school,
802
00:32:39,858 --> 00:32:42,661
and instead go out and be
taught real skills that will
803
00:32:42,761 --> 00:32:45,897
still be profitable
in this post-AI universe.
804
00:32:46,032 --> 00:32:50,036
So what you do is you take
out your phone and you call
805
00:32:50,036 --> 00:32:53,539
the handyman, and see if
those rich people will have
806
00:32:53,639 --> 00:32:56,742
any internships or training
programs available for you.
807
00:33:02,914 --> 00:33:04,050
(panel chirps)
808
00:33:04,050 --> 00:33:06,552
Handyman service,
how can I help you?
809
00:33:06,652 --> 00:33:08,254
RANDY:
Yeah, hi, it's Randy Marsh.
810
00:33:08,354 --> 00:33:10,856
I was wondering if you
might have any internships
811
00:33:10,956 --> 00:33:12,258
available for my daughter--
812
00:33:12,358 --> 00:33:13,692
Hey! What in tarnation?!
813
00:33:13,792 --> 00:33:16,462
I told you I'd beat you,
you son' bitch!
814
00:33:16,562 --> 00:33:19,665
You ain't beatin' me!
Turn up them thrusters!
815
00:33:19,765 --> 00:33:21,400
My galactic cruiser's
bigger than yours!
816
00:33:21,500 --> 00:33:22,734
H-Hello?
817
00:33:22,834 --> 00:33:23,935
Get out my way,
you little pecker!
818
00:33:24,070 --> 00:33:25,371
Hello? Never mind.
819
00:33:25,471 --> 00:33:28,540
The rich people are all just
fucking around in space.
820
00:33:29,941 --> 00:33:31,777
(rumbling)
821
00:33:32,678 --> 00:33:34,180
What the hell was that?
822
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:37,283
I'm getting significantly strong
readings from the panderstone.
823
00:33:37,383 --> 00:33:39,151
Mr. Iger.
We may have a solution.
824
00:33:39,251 --> 00:33:42,088
If this Kathleen Kennedy here
is from somewhere else, then
825
00:33:42,088 --> 00:33:45,091
there has to be a match for her
somewhere in our universe.
826
00:33:45,091 --> 00:33:46,658
So what we can do
827
00:33:46,758 --> 00:33:49,795
is use an AI program that
can take every image ever put
828
00:33:49,895 --> 00:33:52,931
on the Internet to try
and find a match to our image.
829
00:33:53,732 --> 00:33:55,601
ROBOTIC VOICE:
Different, different, different,
830
00:33:55,701 --> 00:33:57,536
different, different,
different, different,
831
00:33:57,636 --> 00:34:00,139
different,
different, different...
832
00:34:00,239 --> 00:34:01,807
Same.
833
00:34:01,907 --> 00:34:04,110
IGER:
Eric Cartman.
834
00:34:04,110 --> 00:34:05,544
South Park Elementary.
835
00:34:05,644 --> 00:34:07,546
Evans, Mallory, come with me.
836
00:34:07,646 --> 00:34:09,881
The rest of you,
don't let Kathleen Kennedy
837
00:34:09,981 --> 00:34:11,250
find out what we're up to.
838
00:34:11,350 --> 00:34:13,852
It's okay, we're keeping
Mrs. Kennedy distracted.
839
00:34:13,952 --> 00:34:16,622
We've sent her away
to have lunch at Spago.
840
00:34:17,489 --> 00:34:19,625
(classical music playing)
841
00:34:20,859 --> 00:34:22,361
There you are, Mrs. Kennedy,
842
00:34:22,461 --> 00:34:24,130
the linguini and clam sauce.
843
00:34:24,130 --> 00:34:25,564
Uh, excuse me?
844
00:34:25,664 --> 00:34:27,299
I believe I asked you
to put a chick in this
845
00:34:27,399 --> 00:34:29,135
- and make her gay?
- Uh...
846
00:34:29,135 --> 00:34:31,637
Yes, the chef was a little
confused what you meant by that.
847
00:34:31,737 --> 00:34:34,540
It means put a chick
in the linguini
848
00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:37,042
and make her fucking gay!
849
00:34:37,876 --> 00:34:40,146
And I want it lame!
850
00:34:45,751 --> 00:34:47,018
(screaming)
851
00:34:47,153 --> 00:34:50,356
She's gonna get me!
She's gonna get me!
852
00:34:50,456 --> 00:34:51,790
(horn blaring)
853
00:34:53,692 --> 00:34:55,261
(screams)
854
00:34:56,695 --> 00:34:58,664
No, no, no, no, no!
855
00:35:01,933 --> 00:35:03,702
Hey, who's that, Ned?
856
00:35:03,802 --> 00:35:05,371
I'm not sure.
857
00:35:05,471 --> 00:35:07,173
No!
858
00:35:10,008 --> 00:35:12,010
There he is!
Get him!
859
00:35:12,178 --> 00:35:13,812
(screams)
860
00:35:19,551 --> 00:35:22,788
No. Oh, my God, please, no!
861
00:35:24,590 --> 00:35:26,558
No...!
862
00:35:26,658 --> 00:35:28,059
Which way did they go?
863
00:35:29,195 --> 00:35:29,961
(gasps)
864
00:35:30,061 --> 00:35:32,531
We have to work together.
865
00:35:32,631 --> 00:35:35,201
Fuck you, Kathleen Kennedy!
Stay away, you fuckin' bitch!
866
00:35:35,201 --> 00:35:38,704
I'm in the same situation
you are, Eric!
867
00:35:40,606 --> 00:35:43,542
I know you're in
the wrong universe.
868
00:35:43,642 --> 00:35:45,877
So am I.
869
00:35:52,818 --> 00:35:56,322
Well, there's no
other way to put it.
870
00:35:56,422 --> 00:35:57,956
They have us over a barrel.
871
00:35:58,724 --> 00:36:02,961
We give these billionaires
all our money, rely on them,
872
00:36:03,061 --> 00:36:05,597
and so they can do
whatever they want.
873
00:36:06,365 --> 00:36:10,101
Let's just face it, we're
never gonna get our stuff fixed.
874
00:36:10,236 --> 00:36:11,770
Yeah.
875
00:36:11,870 --> 00:36:16,242
And I guess it's
nobody's fault but our own.
876
00:36:16,242 --> 00:36:17,776
Excuse me?
877
00:36:17,876 --> 00:36:19,110
My name is Bob Iger
878
00:36:19,245 --> 00:36:20,712
from the Disney
entertainment company.
879
00:36:20,812 --> 00:36:23,114
We're looking
for an Eric Cartman.
880
00:36:23,249 --> 00:36:26,051
Our universe
has been manipulated with.
881
00:36:26,151 --> 00:36:28,420
Have you all
noticed anything strange?
882
00:36:31,022 --> 00:36:34,326
Yes. Yes, the world
is completely upside down!
883
00:36:34,426 --> 00:36:35,761
Nothing makes sense!
884
00:36:35,861 --> 00:36:37,463
It's because
there's some kind of
885
00:36:37,563 --> 00:36:38,997
disruption in the panderverse.
886
00:36:39,097 --> 00:36:41,733
We believe Kathleen Kennedy
has opened a portal.
887
00:36:41,833 --> 00:36:44,336
This is all
Kathleen Kennedy's fault?
888
00:36:44,436 --> 00:36:46,805
This is all Kathleen Kennedy's
fault!
889
00:36:46,905 --> 00:36:48,039
Who's Kathleen Kennedy?
890
00:36:48,139 --> 00:36:50,376
One of the top executives
at Disney.
891
00:36:50,476 --> 00:36:51,977
It's not us, you guys.
892
00:36:52,077 --> 00:36:54,145
I knew there was an explanation!
893
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:56,081
We didn't waste our time
at college!
894
00:36:56,181 --> 00:36:58,450
We didn't get lazy
from technology!
895
00:36:58,550 --> 00:37:01,287
Everything is
Kathleen Kennedy's fault!
896
00:37:01,287 --> 00:37:04,189
(all cheering)
897
00:37:04,990 --> 00:37:08,294
Follow me.
I'll help you find Eric.
898
00:37:09,027 --> 00:37:11,397
Okay, okay,
everything is finally loaded.
899
00:37:11,497 --> 00:37:13,198
We got Internet
at full capacity.
900
00:37:13,299 --> 00:37:14,566
You guys ready
to see if this works?
901
00:37:14,666 --> 00:37:16,635
- BOTH: Yeah!
- All right, let's do this!
902
00:37:16,735 --> 00:37:18,337
Launching Steam now.
903
00:37:18,437 --> 00:37:19,471
Steam?
904
00:37:19,571 --> 00:37:20,972
Okay. I'm in Steam.
905
00:37:21,072 --> 00:37:22,308
Got the application ready to go.
906
00:37:22,308 --> 00:37:23,909
The title screen is launching!
907
00:37:26,111 --> 00:37:28,213
It's working.
It's working, you guys!
908
00:37:28,314 --> 00:37:29,648
It looks sweet
on this big monitor!
909
00:37:29,748 --> 00:37:32,117
Wait a minute.
You mean this entire time,
910
00:37:32,217 --> 00:37:33,952
all you've wanted to do
is play Baldur's Gate 3?
911
00:37:34,052 --> 00:37:35,654
Yeah. What'd you think
I was trying to do?
912
00:37:35,754 --> 00:37:37,556
We thought you were
trying to set up some elaborate
913
00:37:37,656 --> 00:37:39,190
system to get
back to your universe!
914
00:37:39,325 --> 00:37:41,360
I ain't no
quantum astro physicist.
915
00:37:41,460 --> 00:37:44,095
The fuck I know about
how the multiverse works?
916
00:37:44,195 --> 00:37:46,798
Wow. It really is Cartman.
917
00:37:46,898 --> 00:37:48,434
All right, that does it!
918
00:37:49,701 --> 00:37:51,136
Get out of my room!
919
00:37:51,236 --> 00:37:53,639
You have to be cool to me, Kyle.
PC Principal says so.
920
00:37:53,739 --> 00:37:56,808
I don't care! All this multiple
universe stuff is tired and lazy
921
00:37:56,908 --> 00:37:58,677
and we are not doing it anymore!
922
00:37:58,777 --> 00:38:00,346
Boys! Boys,
923
00:38:00,346 --> 00:38:02,013
we need to help Disney
put our universe back together.
924
00:38:02,113 --> 00:38:03,582
Where's Eric Cartman?
925
00:38:03,682 --> 00:38:05,351
Dad, this might be hard
to understand,
926
00:38:05,351 --> 00:38:06,918
but this is Eric Cartman.
927
00:38:07,018 --> 00:38:08,554
Oh, okay, great.
Come on, Eric,
928
00:38:08,654 --> 00:38:10,088
- we need to go.
- (Kyle groans)
929
00:38:10,188 --> 00:38:12,624
We have to hurry, Eric.
930
00:38:12,724 --> 00:38:14,393
No. No, wait.
931
00:38:14,493 --> 00:38:16,495
Something's wrong.
Oh, my God!
932
00:38:16,595 --> 00:38:18,764
- What is it?
- My save game.
933
00:38:18,864 --> 00:38:21,166
I'm already like 50 hours
into Baldur's Gate 3
934
00:38:21,266 --> 00:38:23,535
but it's saying that
I have to start a new game.
935
00:38:23,635 --> 00:38:26,204
Do save games not cross
between multiple universes?
936
00:38:26,372 --> 00:38:27,473
Save games
don't even cross between
937
00:38:27,573 --> 00:38:29,107
PCs and PS5s,
why would they cross
938
00:38:29,207 --> 00:38:30,509
between multiple universes?
939
00:38:31,510 --> 00:38:32,744
No...!
940
00:38:32,844 --> 00:38:34,413
Please, everyone.
We are running out of time!
941
00:38:34,513 --> 00:38:36,382
We have to close
the panderverse before
942
00:38:36,382 --> 00:38:38,083
everything we care about
is destroyed!
943
00:38:38,183 --> 00:38:39,250
So what do we have to do?
944
00:38:39,385 --> 00:38:40,552
We have to get everyone
945
00:38:40,652 --> 00:38:42,388
back to the proper place,
but to breach
946
00:38:42,388 --> 00:38:44,122
the panderverse,
we need to find a place
947
00:38:44,222 --> 00:38:46,525
with integrity
that has a broken door.
948
00:38:47,426 --> 00:38:50,929
A place with "integridy"
that has a broken door.
949
00:38:51,029 --> 00:38:53,565
I know where to go.
950
00:38:55,634 --> 00:38:58,069
So, yeah, so it's just basically
off the hinges.
951
00:38:58,169 --> 00:39:00,071
I'd fix it myself
but I've been really busy.
952
00:39:00,171 --> 00:39:01,540
Do you think it'll work?
953
00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:03,174
If we're to try to open
a panderverse portal,
954
00:39:03,274 --> 00:39:05,210
it's as good as any place,
I suppose.
955
00:39:05,310 --> 00:39:07,145
Okay, people,
we don't have much time.
956
00:39:07,245 --> 00:39:10,315
Bring in the panderstone.
957
00:39:11,149 --> 00:39:13,251
(bicycle bell dings)
958
00:39:13,419 --> 00:39:15,421
I'm not your enemy, Eric.
959
00:39:15,521 --> 00:39:17,689
For some reason
fate has put us together.
960
00:39:17,789 --> 00:39:20,258
What do you want from me,
Kathleen Kennedy?
961
00:39:20,426 --> 00:39:22,561
I've been stuck in
this universe for months.
962
00:39:22,661 --> 00:39:24,630
I want out of here
just as much as you do.
963
00:39:24,730 --> 00:39:27,666
Hello, welcome to City Woke,
can I take your order, please?
964
00:39:27,766 --> 00:39:28,834
Ugh.
965
00:39:28,934 --> 00:39:30,669
We're just having tea,
thank you.
966
00:39:30,769 --> 00:39:32,671
Okay, you just wanna tea
and talk about
967
00:39:32,771 --> 00:39:34,973
shitty male-dominated society,
that's fine.
968
00:39:35,073 --> 00:39:37,008
I don't get it,
this is exactly the kind of
969
00:39:37,108 --> 00:39:38,810
universe you wanted,
why would you want to leave?
970
00:39:38,910 --> 00:39:42,681
To stop her from undoing
the panderverse completely.
971
00:39:45,717 --> 00:39:48,153
I saw the panderstone
for the first time
972
00:39:48,253 --> 00:39:49,555
a few years ago.
973
00:39:49,655 --> 00:39:51,690
Bob Iger took us
to the Disney archives
974
00:39:51,790 --> 00:39:54,760
and showed us an ancient
piece of artificial intelligence
975
00:39:54,860 --> 00:39:57,596
that could be used to make
the same movies over
976
00:39:57,696 --> 00:40:01,467
and over again while appealing
to absolutely everyone.
977
00:40:02,568 --> 00:40:04,836
The panderstone worked great,
for a while.
978
00:40:04,936 --> 00:40:08,106
But then came the hate mail.
Ugly letters from racists
979
00:40:08,206 --> 00:40:10,241
who couldn't stand
that some of the panderstone's
980
00:40:10,341 --> 00:40:13,178
rehashes had diverse
women characters in the lead.
981
00:40:13,278 --> 00:40:16,815
I decided I would show them.
I would start making movies
982
00:40:16,915 --> 00:40:18,850
to fight all
the bigotry in our society.
983
00:40:18,950 --> 00:40:21,052
But instead
of doing any real work,
984
00:40:21,152 --> 00:40:26,424
I turned to the panderstone.
It made things so much easier.
985
00:40:26,525 --> 00:40:28,960
Soon, I was using
the panderstone over
986
00:40:29,060 --> 00:40:32,130
and over again to try
and fight all the ugly feedback,
987
00:40:32,230 --> 00:40:35,133
which in turn was growing
stronger and stronger.
988
00:40:35,901 --> 00:40:38,470
But I was fighting
with the wrong tool.
989
00:40:38,570 --> 00:40:40,271
I used the panderstone
to the point
990
00:40:40,371 --> 00:40:42,741
- that it became unstable.
- (whooshing)
991
00:40:43,575 --> 00:40:45,443
It opened a portal
to multiple universes,
992
00:40:45,544 --> 00:40:48,313
and something came through.
993
00:40:56,054 --> 00:40:59,324
At first we fought. I tried
to send it back to its universe.
994
00:40:59,424 --> 00:41:01,026
But it got the upper hand.
995
00:41:01,126 --> 00:41:03,729
It was able instead
to send me to this universe,
996
00:41:03,829 --> 00:41:06,532
out of its way so
it could thrive in ours.
997
00:41:08,099 --> 00:41:10,536
(sighs) That's actually
the best explanation
998
00:41:10,536 --> 00:41:13,905
I've heard as to why
Disney movies all suck now.
999
00:41:14,005 --> 00:41:16,007
(typing)
1000
00:41:17,909 --> 00:41:19,410
All right, I've set
the panderstone
1001
00:41:19,545 --> 00:41:21,146
into the compromised doorway.
1002
00:41:21,246 --> 00:41:23,448
Activating the panderstone now.
1003
00:41:24,850 --> 00:41:25,884
Whoa!
1004
00:41:25,984 --> 00:41:27,553
Space-time portal
is manifesting!
1005
00:41:27,653 --> 00:41:29,220
Panderverse
quantum fields are aligned!
1006
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:31,823
Yeah, that sounds like typical
multiverse gobbledygook.
1007
00:41:31,923 --> 00:41:33,992
Will you stop ripping
on multiple universes, Kyle?
1008
00:41:34,092 --> 00:41:35,794
I'm trying to get back
to Baldur's Gate.
1009
00:41:35,894 --> 00:41:38,930
Now I warn you, Mr. Marsh,
once inside the panderverse,
1010
00:41:39,030 --> 00:41:40,799
you will be falling
through different realities.
1011
00:41:40,899 --> 00:41:42,934
Your mind will barely
be able to comprehend
1012
00:41:43,034 --> 00:41:45,571
- what you are experiencing.
- SHARON: Randy?
1013
00:41:45,571 --> 00:41:47,773
I think the oven door is
still having problems if you--
1014
00:41:47,873 --> 00:41:50,709
I am working on it, Sharon!
1015
00:41:52,177 --> 00:41:55,246
The portal is at full.
This might be our only shot!
1016
00:41:55,346 --> 00:41:57,148
Good luck, Mr. Marsh!
1017
00:41:57,248 --> 00:41:58,984
Whoa!
1018
00:42:00,886 --> 00:42:02,187
(screaming)
1019
00:42:02,287 --> 00:42:04,590
Hold on to the rope!
1020
00:42:06,024 --> 00:42:08,193
Oh, whoa!
1021
00:42:08,293 --> 00:42:10,095
Oh, my God.
1022
00:42:10,195 --> 00:42:12,764
Whoa!
1023
00:42:12,864 --> 00:42:15,266
Whoa.
1024
00:42:15,366 --> 00:42:17,368
(grunting)
1025
00:42:17,468 --> 00:42:20,205
Oh, God, it's so weird.
1026
00:42:20,305 --> 00:42:22,207
Shorts, now I'm wearing shorts!
1027
00:42:22,307 --> 00:42:24,342
(yelling)
1028
00:42:24,442 --> 00:42:25,476
Can you imagine it?
1029
00:42:25,611 --> 00:42:27,178
An infinite number of universes
1030
00:42:27,278 --> 00:42:29,380
with infinite combinations of
pants and shirts.
1031
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:32,618
What do you think about
multiple universes now, boys?
1032
00:42:33,852 --> 00:42:35,153
Yeah, they're pretty
fucking stupid.
1033
00:42:35,253 --> 00:42:36,254
Yeah.
1034
00:42:36,354 --> 00:42:37,789
I understand that maybe
1035
00:42:37,889 --> 00:42:39,625
you were trying to
make a difference, Kathleen.
1036
00:42:39,625 --> 00:42:41,526
But you have to admit
the last few movies
1037
00:42:41,627 --> 00:42:43,261
you've shit out
have been real stinkers.
1038
00:42:43,361 --> 00:42:44,730
All I ever wanted was to
1039
00:42:44,830 --> 00:42:47,065
make great entertainment,
believe me.
1040
00:42:47,165 --> 00:42:50,101
But as soon as you start getting
piles and piles of hate mail,
1041
00:42:50,201 --> 00:42:52,704
endless messages
calling you the c-word,
1042
00:42:52,804 --> 00:42:54,640
you can't think straight.
1043
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:57,375
Well, I'm sorry I wrote
all those letters.
1044
00:42:57,475 --> 00:42:59,177
It probably was a bit much.
1045
00:42:59,277 --> 00:43:02,480
No, I got like
10,000 letters a day.
1046
00:43:02,648 --> 00:43:04,182
Mm, I was doing more like
12,000 to 13,000,
1047
00:43:04,282 --> 00:43:06,652
especially after the new
Indiana Jones came out.
1048
00:43:07,653 --> 00:43:10,656
Then it's you! You're the one
who caused all this!
1049
00:43:10,656 --> 00:43:12,557
Fuck you! You're the one
who caused all this!
1050
00:43:12,658 --> 00:43:14,492
I wouldn't have tried
to fight racism
1051
00:43:14,660 --> 00:43:15,661
with the panderstone
if you hadn't
1052
00:43:15,661 --> 00:43:16,962
written all those letters.
1053
00:43:17,062 --> 00:43:18,263
I wouldn't have written
all those letters
1054
00:43:18,363 --> 00:43:19,497
if you hadn't
tried to fight racism
1055
00:43:19,665 --> 00:43:21,332
with a fucking panderstone.
1056
00:43:21,432 --> 00:43:23,001
(whooshing)
1057
00:43:23,101 --> 00:43:25,403
Mr. Marsh!
Can you hear us?
1058
00:43:25,503 --> 00:43:26,672
RANDY:
Oh, wow!
1059
00:43:26,772 --> 00:43:28,674
You should see
the pants I have on now!
1060
00:43:28,674 --> 00:43:32,043
Whoa! Oh, now I have on,
like, suspenders.
1061
00:43:32,143 --> 00:43:34,980
Like almost like overalls
but not quite!
1062
00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:36,147
My God.
1063
00:43:36,247 --> 00:43:38,383
Mr. Marsh!
Try and stay focused!
1064
00:43:38,483 --> 00:43:41,086
You should be
seeing another portal soon!
1065
00:43:41,186 --> 00:43:43,321
If our Kathleen Kennedy
got the other Eric Cartman
1066
00:43:43,421 --> 00:43:44,823
to the right place.
1067
00:43:44,923 --> 00:43:46,591
RANDY:
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
1068
00:43:46,692 --> 00:43:48,093
Dad? What's the matter?
1069
00:43:48,193 --> 00:43:50,395
I'm wearing a Baltimore Ravens
shirt now!
1070
00:43:50,495 --> 00:43:51,997
I hate the Ravens!
1071
00:43:52,097 --> 00:43:54,766
I don't know if I can do this!
1072
00:43:54,866 --> 00:43:56,902
Oh, now it's the Dolphins!
Ah! The Chiefs!
1073
00:43:57,002 --> 00:43:58,704
Oh, it's the Chiefs!
1074
00:43:58,804 --> 00:44:00,271
He's losing his mind!
1075
00:44:00,371 --> 00:44:02,140
The panderverse
is filled with mystery
1076
00:44:02,240 --> 00:44:05,777
and paradox, you--
you have to try and hang on!
1077
00:44:05,877 --> 00:44:07,779
(rumbling)
1078
00:44:08,980 --> 00:44:11,182
Jesus, it's getting worse.
1079
00:44:17,088 --> 00:44:20,558
Where the fuck is Bob Iger?
1080
00:44:21,359 --> 00:44:23,461
Uh, Mr. Iger
just had to take some
1081
00:44:23,561 --> 00:44:25,196
of the others to a screening.
1082
00:44:25,296 --> 00:44:28,233
I think that things
are being kept from me.
1083
00:44:28,333 --> 00:44:30,736
And if you're going
to keep things from me,
1084
00:44:30,836 --> 00:44:33,304
then you'd better
put a chick in it,
1085
00:44:33,404 --> 00:44:36,641
and make her
fucking gay as fuck.
1086
00:44:36,742 --> 00:44:38,810
(rumbling)
1087
00:44:42,948 --> 00:44:45,751
So that's it,
that's the connection.
1088
00:44:45,851 --> 00:44:48,754
I reacted to you
and you reacted to me.
1089
00:44:48,754 --> 00:44:51,322
And I guess
we created each other.
1090
00:44:51,422 --> 00:44:52,758
Mrs. Kennedy,
1091
00:44:52,758 --> 00:44:53,925
I don't think
I've ever said this
1092
00:44:54,025 --> 00:44:56,928
before in my life but...
I'm sorry.
1093
00:44:57,028 --> 00:44:59,931
I lashed out so hard and used
the c-word so many times,
1094
00:45:00,031 --> 00:45:02,333
you didn't really have
a choice but to double down.
1095
00:45:02,433 --> 00:45:05,871
Eric, I know you care
about all things Disney.
1096
00:45:05,971 --> 00:45:09,474
I'm sorry I was so reckless
with the things that you love.
1097
00:45:09,574 --> 00:45:12,510
It was just lazy.
1098
00:45:12,610 --> 00:45:14,179
I guess just wailing
1099
00:45:14,279 --> 00:45:17,816
on woke stuff all the time
is pretty lazy, too.
1100
00:45:24,990 --> 00:45:29,360
I think...
I think I can let go now.
1101
00:45:36,301 --> 00:45:39,604
Aah...
1102
00:45:40,405 --> 00:45:45,443
Come on, Kate. Looks like
we got a flight to catch.
1103
00:45:52,250 --> 00:45:55,053
(electricity crackles)
1104
00:45:55,153 --> 00:45:57,455
Whoa, what the hell is that?
1105
00:45:57,555 --> 00:45:59,424
(screaming)
1106
00:45:59,524 --> 00:46:01,026
(others gasp)
1107
00:46:01,126 --> 00:46:04,029
Oh, yo, bitch!
You killed Kenny!
1108
00:46:04,129 --> 00:46:06,197
You fat ho!
1109
00:46:08,066 --> 00:46:10,068
(electricity crackles)
1110
00:46:11,903 --> 00:46:13,471
(tires screech)
1111
00:46:15,841 --> 00:46:17,008
Look!
1112
00:46:20,645 --> 00:46:22,480
I'm back, you guys!
1113
00:46:24,315 --> 00:46:26,351
Kyle! Kyle, I'm back!
1114
00:46:26,451 --> 00:46:28,019
I was so wrong
about Kathleen Kennedy,
1115
00:46:28,119 --> 00:46:29,620
Kyle, she's so awesome!
1116
00:46:29,720 --> 00:46:31,890
Okay, what Cartman is this?
1117
00:46:31,990 --> 00:46:33,291
Mrs. Kennedy, you're back!
1118
00:46:33,391 --> 00:46:35,693
- Great to see you, ma'am.
- Thanks, you guys.
1119
00:46:35,861 --> 00:46:38,496
We have a lot of changes
to discuss at the company.
1120
00:46:38,596 --> 00:46:40,899
From now on we're only
going to make original content
1121
00:46:40,999 --> 00:46:42,533
that doesn't pander.
1122
00:46:42,633 --> 00:46:44,635
Sure we will, Kate.
Sure we will.
1123
00:46:44,735 --> 00:46:45,904
(chuckles)
1124
00:46:46,004 --> 00:46:47,939
RANDY:
Hey, guys! Guys, over here!
1125
00:46:48,706 --> 00:46:52,010
I did a little extra work while
I was out in multiple universes.
1126
00:46:52,110 --> 00:46:54,479
We're not gonna have a problem
with billionaires anymore,
1127
00:46:54,579 --> 00:46:56,414
check it out!
1128
00:46:57,548 --> 00:46:59,717
(all cheering)
1129
00:46:59,885 --> 00:47:02,988
Now people who can do stuff
will be just as poor
1130
00:47:03,088 --> 00:47:04,355
as the rest of us!
1131
00:47:04,455 --> 00:47:06,724
(excited clamoring)
1132
00:47:06,892 --> 00:47:09,727
Tom, it appears that
everything is back to normal.
1133
00:47:09,895 --> 00:47:12,463
Billionaires have been put
in their place and once again
1134
00:47:12,563 --> 00:47:15,333
it doesn't matter that we
don't know how to do anything.
1135
00:47:15,433 --> 00:47:17,903
It's a good ending here
and we can all be happy
1136
00:47:17,903 --> 00:47:22,440
that everyone
is back in their universe.
1137
00:47:27,178 --> 00:47:29,514
(screaming, panting)
1138
00:47:29,614 --> 00:47:31,216
Mom! Mom!
1139
00:47:31,316 --> 00:47:33,118
What is it, Mrs. Kennedy?
1140
00:47:33,218 --> 00:47:34,652
Oh. Oh, Mom!
1141
00:47:34,752 --> 00:47:36,621
I was just having
the worst nightmare.
1142
00:47:36,721 --> 00:47:39,257
I was me except everyone
around me was different.
1143
00:47:39,357 --> 00:47:40,758
Oh, no, Mrs. Kennedy.
1144
00:47:40,926 --> 00:47:44,329
Here, have some of your favorite
cereal to calm you down.
1145
00:47:44,429 --> 00:47:46,564
Oh, thank you. It was so real.
1146
00:47:46,664 --> 00:47:48,199
All my friends were there
but they'd been
1147
00:47:48,299 --> 00:47:49,534
replaced by strangers.
1148
00:47:49,634 --> 00:47:51,436
I think you were even there
too, Kyle.
1149
00:47:51,536 --> 00:47:53,504
Really? I was there, too?
1150
00:47:53,604 --> 00:47:55,173
Yeah, that's right, Kyle,
you were there
1151
00:47:55,273 --> 00:47:56,341
but you weren't cereal
and I couldn't
1152
00:47:56,441 --> 00:47:57,542
just eat you like I can here.
1153
00:47:57,642 --> 00:47:59,044
- (munching)
- (Kyle screaming)
1154
00:47:59,144 --> 00:48:00,345
KYLE:
No, please, no, Mrs. Kennedy!
1155
00:48:00,445 --> 00:48:01,947
Oh, you're so yummy, Kyle!
1156
00:48:02,047 --> 00:48:04,349
Oh, oh, it's so good to be home.
1157
00:48:04,449 --> 00:48:06,684
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.