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The famous Riviera is preparing to host a major event
for our dear planet,
the 7th Summit on the Future of Fossil Fuel Energy.
The organizers at Global Petrol have invited
the young climate activist Sima Scott,
who surely won't be taken in by all the greenwashing.
Tensions promise to be high.
Let's ask our guest Boris Briche
what greenwashing means.
Agent Bruno, leave a message.
Come on, please call back. This is getting annoying.
I'm getting worried.
You're so annoying!
…eco-friendly branding without needing to make an effort…
I'm so hungry!
Donuts, sweetie!
Three euros for one donut, five euros for two!
Get your do--
-Throw me a donut, Yannis! -I'm not a drive-thru!
I can't believe it.
They're hot and tasty, my sweeties!
Hey! Learn how to park!
Goddammit, man, I'm running late. Seriously.
Any news on Ludo?
-No, I'm worried. -You know him.
No, those ones.
As if your donuts are really organic now.
Whatever.
-Shit! -What?
Isn't that Ludo's informant? Wait!
Léo, you didn't pay!
-Mareschi! -You didn't pay!
Mareschi!
Hey!
Mareschi!
Yeah, but I'd prefer cash for the accounts.
Mareschi!
Huh?
He's so stupid!
Mareschi!
Stop running!
Hey!
Stop right there!
I'm innocent!
Out of the way!
Damn it!
Where is he?
Gotcha!
Okay, fine.
Why run? You don't even know what I want.
I didn't recognize you in the hat. Léo Leiman?
You know a guy wants to kill you?
That German from the rundown park who looks like Mr. Clean.
Yeah, Bauer. I don't give a shit.
Well, be careful. Death is pretty final.
I'm looking for Lt. Ludovic Bruno, ring any bells?
-Ludo? Sure, he's a great guy. Very nice. -He's been missing for ten days.
Shit. Maybe he grouped his compensatory time together?
-Civil servants do that a lot. -No.
Have you tried to geolocate him?
No. How would I?
You need to use a computer.
But I haven't gotten involved in that since leaving jail.
Don't you cops have someone who can do that?
It's forbidden to do this.
It'll be stuck in my head all day now.
I love your taste in music
-It's not my taste. -Sure.
That idiot Ludo set it as my ringtone and now I can't… Anyway.
You'd better stay very reachable. Is that clear?
Sure, I can do that. You want my digits?
I don't give them out to just anyone. Check your AirDrop.
I'm Bat the Bat. You've got my address, my number--
Also, driving a semi-erect boat doesn't make you a water-ski instructor.
So ease up on the beach scams, okay?
My boat isn't a semi-erect, it's a semi-rigid, okay?
-Same thing! -No, it isn't!
-Léo Leiman. -Where are you?
On my way. I'm just out front.
I'm parking.
Liar, I can hear the seagulls.
Quit catching rays and get to the office now!
I'm not. I'm still looking for Ludo--
Well, kids!
A hundred international oil company bosses arrive tomorrow
for this dumb greenwashing summit.
-Eco-activists have been invited… -Stop it.
…who have rocked up in sailboats dressed in their harem pants.
So we have to keep them safe too.
Not to mention their whining teenage leader.
That's Sima Scott. She's so clued-up on the planet.
I'm listening.
Ecological ideas don't make anybody happy,
definitely not the rich, the powerful, and the oil companies.
Apparently the tree-planting teen
has received direct threats, yet she still refuses to shut up.
So I want this oil summit to be patrolled by a strong team…
-A big ask. -We'll never manage.
…and one that's a little less mediocre than usual.
Will that be possible?
-Definitely. -Yes, boss.
Thank you.
And needless to say,
these dumbass capitalists
have of course chosen a location that is impossible to safeguard.
Giving us just three days to secure the whole area.
This area right here. We'll block off all stairways and…
No update on Ludo?
-Nothing since this morning. -No.
Have you checked his location?
We have the equipment, but we can't work out how to…
-How to track a device. -We don't know how.
Frédéric Valence, I'm Sima's communications director
for the future of…
-Sima Scott. -…renewable energy.
-Hello. -A quick word?
We set sail four months ago
from countries where climate change is already a matter of life and death
for those who are most vulnerable, but least responsible for it.
We are here to remind these suits
that as they clink glasses, people are dying because of them.
If we want to save life on Earth,
no new fossil fuel projects should be allowed.
-We're here to remind them. -Thanks.
We'll show Global Petrol.
Frédéric Valence.
So I ended up interrogating Mareschi this morning.
The hacker. Ludo's informant.
That blond guy we locked up for bank card fraud?
Yeah, he was wearing a headband.
Oh, shit.
But that's not the real issue.
He hasn't heard from Ludo either. It's been ten days.
Laura and Gustavo are on it. Working flat out.
Those morons couldn't find their ass with both hands.
Look, I get you're worried about your pal,
but trust me, he's fine. I can feel it in my water.
Come in!
Captain, our colleagues at the airport want you to go over there.
-Like right now. -Why?
To pick up Lt. Ludovic Bruno.
-Where is he? -At the airport.
You see?
All done! I passed on the message. I told her!
You coming?
Thank you.
For once, you were right.
What the hell was that idiot doing in Hamburg?
He'll get a good send-off?
I just spoke to Internal Affairs, and we have to keep it quiet.
No one can know Ludo is…
in this box before their investigation is over.
-What investigation? -They're taking this very seriously.
Apparently, very dangerous people did this to Ludo.
They've appointed a high-ranking German detective.
Are you really going to let some kraut
who never even knew Ludo investigate his death?
We have orders to keep out.
So we'll let this German do his job while we do ours.
Okay? Want me to put you in charge of the summit operations?
No!
-We can't let them. -We have to.
If we want to know what happened and lock up the motherfucker who did this,
then we mustn't get in the way of this German big shot's work.
I'll spare you the history lesson.
Germans are much more meticulous than us when they set out to do something.
So, have a good cry, and think about the speech you'll make
at the lovely service we'll give him when Internal Affairs says it's okay.
Until then, forget all about Ludo, and focus on the summit. Okay?
Okay.
-Okay? You're okay? -Okay.
-Good. -Not good.
Hey, chubs. It's Ludo. Call me back when you're done jacking off.
Hey, chubs. It's Ludo. Call me back…
Fuck!
Fuck.
Hey, chubs. It's Ludo.
Call me back when you're done jacking off.
-Come on… -And I…
-Come on! -You idiot.
Saying it out loud Come and dance
Police! What are you doing here?
What?
I'm police too!
Sorry.
I didn't know.
Who are you? I don't know you.
Lt. Zimmer. I'm investigating Lt. Bruno's death.
But Internal Affairs are meant to be sending a kraut.
Well, that's me.
-No, you're not. -Yes, I am.
A high-ranking mega-meticulous German?
Yeah, that's me.
No! A German. I mean…
It can't be. Well… But you speak French.
My mother's French.
-Well, then… -Who are you anyway?
Léo Leiman. Ludo's best friend. His sis, his homie.
And the Riviera's top cop. Yeah.
Good to know.
Sweetie, you won't be much use here.
The south isn't Germany, and you're not me. Okay?
You can say that again.
But the murder was carried out in Germany, and I have a search warrant.
I'll search. You won't find anything anyway.
-Only I know where things are. -Yeah, sure.
The homie.
Check it out. He got himself a hooker.
You shouldn't be fiddling with that, okay?
-It could be his girlfriend's. -He was single. I would've known.
And no girlfriend of his would wear such a slutty thing.
It's not slutty.
It's a sexy pair of panties sold by a famous brand.
For hookers.
Aren't you looking for clues?
It is a clue. A clue he was screwing a hooker.
Shit, shit, and more shit.
-Here it is. -Where are you going?
-What? To investigate. -I'm investigating. Let go.
No.
Hello, this is Léo Leiman. Bauer! No way.
No, I don't believe you. That's such an insane lead.
I'm on my way. Bye.
It was Bauer, my top informant. He gave me a far more useful lead.
-It didn't ring. -It did.
It's just always on silent. I don't like the noise.
If you don't believe me, then don't.
Fine, I'll come. It doesn't mean I believe you, though.
If you don't like my ride, just take an Uber.
Nobody asked you to come.
Were you there when they found Ludo?
No.
But I know he was pretty messed up when they found him.
5.56 caliber.
Fucking hell, a sniper.
The bastards.
I won't rest till I get that son of a bitch.
Me neither.
But "son of a bitch" is rude.
So this is where your informant who calls without ringing lives?
Yep. His name is Franz Bauer.
He looks like Mr. Clean, and he's a kraut, like you.
Hey, I thought it would be a good idea if you spoke to him in his own language.
No, not at all.
I mean, you wouldn't understand, so there'd be no point.
Yeah, but you can just go on your own.
-Okay, sure. -That's what I meant.
Full-on German.
-Auf Wiedersehen, etc. -Precisely.
Okay.
Good luck, okay?
Herr Bauer? Yes? Ich bin ein…
I don't speak German.
Oh, phew. I… I'm a friend of Léo Leiman.
Léo Leiman?
-Léo Leiman? -Yes, she's my friend.
Gee! Ouch.
-You shouldn't have done that. -What are you gonna do?
Caroline, as ravishing and lovely as ever.
I hope you enjoyed it. Come again soon.
Caroline! Goodbye, sir.
My darling. It's been a while since you came to see your old uncle.
Don't worry. It'll be okay.
How do you know? Nobody is meant to.
Well, you know I know everything.
I'll find this son of a bitch, Mamich.
I found these photos at Ludo's.
What's your deal? Are you filming?
You don't mind, do you?
Because I'm gonna fuck you up.
Ready?
Rolling. And action!
Shit, you're not in the frame. Back this way. There you go.
Testicles really are your weak spot.
Millions of years of male domination, yet still so easy to floor.
So, the big Bauer is on tape being beat up by a chick.
Do I post it, or will you talk?
I can't hear you!
So, where are these villas?
You need someone who's good with Google Maps
and all that geolocation stuff.
You really have no idea what Ludo was up to in Hamburg?
-He said nothing. -Mamich.
What?
You're all I have.
You're hiding something.
Well,
he was swimming with some big fish.
Not the fish thing.
I can't tell you. I promised Ludo.
You should leave the big fish alone.
Enough with the fish metaphors and protecting me.
I'll work it out on my own, as usual.
We're protecting you for a reason.
Be careful.
Yes! There goes my little champ!
Your little back legs too, that's it!
I'm such a fan.
Amazing! He can already swim without water wings.
That's right.
-You're walking, Mr. Cassati? -Here he comes!
Oh, yes!
He only acts disabled on TV, didn't you know?
He's ugly but he can swim. Strong little legs.
-We never drink before 6:00, but… -Seeing as we're thirsty…
Only because we're thirsty.
So, who's this German supercop?
Oh, there's really no need to worry about that, Mr. Cassati.
We can handle this kind of thing. We may be dirty cops, but we're the best.
Absolutely not. You can't handle anything, stronzo!
Okay?
Your colleague Ludo with his boy band looks
almost fucked the whole thing up. Okay?
Luckily our friends called on one of their contacts.
What friends?
Sometimes we say "friends", but they're not really.
Oh, boy.
-Don't you get it? -Well, I didn't know.
Now, listen up, Hansel and Gretel.
-Focus? -We're focused. Well, I am.
Focus? Okay.
There's one guy who doesn't kid around.
-Him? Okay. -A bad guy.
He has two days to get something ready.
-A guy, a thing. -Yes.
And then I have to deliver this thing right away to another buyer
who kids around even less.
-Than the other guy? -Yes!
-So, a very bad guy. -That's it.
And you two are right in the middle.
-Right here? -Front and center.
Well done!
So your mission is to make sure your colleagues keep their noses
out of my business.
So, if the next 48 hours go to plan,
we'll all get our hands on a huge stack of cash!
Cash!
Oh, yeah! That's right!
If not…
things get tricky.
-Yes? -And then…
-We're in the middle… -We get squished.
That could hurt.
Got it? Capito? Vabbè così? All right.
Could we go back to the part before your hands clap?
-Remind me. -He'll explain it all.
Time for another dive? Let's go!
I didn't understand a thing.
Hello.
Hello, miss.
I'm looking for Bat Mareschi.
Jean-Baptiste! Your little girlfriend is here!
It's not like that at all.
He's as deaf as a post. All that jacking off.
Go ahead. In you go.
So take my hand Come and dance
Hi.
Sorry to interrupt your dance practice.
Sure.
I have a favor to ask you, on the down-low.
The kind you can't tell anyone about.
Oh yeah, why?
Well, it's… I…
Can you find the location of these houses?
-I… -For real?
-Just the addresses? -Yeah.
What an easy job you have.
I mean, I'll need a computer to do this.
-Not that I do that anymore. -Totally.
I heard nothing. Is that cannabis?
-What, this? Where? -Yeah.
No idea. Must be my grandma's.
-Okay. -She has a green thumb.
-I just water them for her. -Right.
-Okay. -Thanks.
Thanks a lot. Bye-bye.
Bye.
I just fingered the…
-Bye. -Goodbye.
…the guy's nose. What a goofball. I can't believe it.
That's from your pal, Bauer.
What the hell is going on? Do you think you're in a brawl pit?
Shit, you're bleeding.
In my office now, you fools!
Well, come on then. You happy now?
Think you're clever? He could've killed me.
Forgive me. I didn't realize you were the…
I thought they were sending a…
So, you're the…
high-ranking German detective assigned here by Internal Affairs.
That's me.
Given the description, I was expecting a man. Blonder.
-Right. -Burly.
Crew cut. Tight khaki pants.
Me too. The usual.
No. That's a huge cliché.
Can't say anything anymore.
Anyway, I have a lead.
We're not allowed to know. What?
A lead?
Bauer ratted out a real estate agent called Cassati.
I think Lu… Lt. Ludovic was on his case.
Cassati? Cassati, the chief's pal.
The guy from the real estate TV show?
But isn't he…
Isn't he in a…
In a what?
-I don't get it. -Me neither.
He's in a wheelchair, isn't he?
Yes. And?
Isn't it discriminatory to investigate a disabled man?
Rumor has it that he's not actually disabled.
-Really? -This conversation is so inappropriate.
No, it isn't. Quite the opposite.
I meant that disabled people are usually nice.
Hardly ever bad guys.
-A friend lost a-- -Stop.
Right. So we need to get on with busting this wop.
Racism. Great.
I'm afraid you won't be busting anyone.
This isn't our case. It's hers.
Don't do this to me. She found that lead thanks to me.
Whatever.
Léo, you have just one mission.
To safeguard that motherfucking Global Petrol summit.
I refuse to let you investigate Cassati.
Or else…
Please. Ludo was like a brother to me.
All the more reason to let Captain…
-See ya. -No!
You don't leave before apologizing to your friend.
Right, Miss Captain?
Sisterhood.
Are you serious?
Get out!
I'm sorry.
She's completely… She's weird.
Weird.
Well, I'm off.
Goodbye.
Hey, you.
You can hack into car doors too?
Yeah. But no need, it was already open.
So, I super-secretly found your addresses.
I also thought you might like to know
that they were all sold by the same agent on the black market.
Underground market.
-You can't say "black" anymore. -Right.
Although this is a transaction.
-Okay, but who's selling them illegally? -Well, Cassati.
Also, he's hosting a garden party for the guests of the summit.
Paid for by Global Petrol. At this address, this afternoon.
All good? Can I split?
You can banana split.
Banana split. Right. Okay, bye.
Wait!
Wait. Thank you for your help.
Sure, no worries. Goodbye for now!
Toodles!
"Goodbye for now"? Why?
"Banana split"?
"Toodles"? How old are you, damn it, 12?
Shit, it's formal.
Off we go.
Good evening, signorine.
Come this way, prego.
-No. -Hello.
-Not possible. -Calm down.
I'm on the summit security team.
I'm not so sure. Mr. Cassati hates cops. Buona sera.
Your Italian accent sucks.
Signorine, signori. Di qui.
-Goodbye. -Buona sera, signorina.
-How nice of you to pick me up. -How did you get in?
It's my job.
Sure.
Did you get turned away?
Whatever. Anyway, did you manage to get the Godfather to talk?
I tried but he has a lot of bodyguards for a real estate agent.
But I did find some clues.
-What? -I took some dust samples.
You think vacuuming will raise your IQ score?
It's called investigating. Drop me off at the lab?
No, I really don't have--
Come on. We need to move it.
I also took photos.
This proves he really is disabled.
Honestly? Look, I don't want to be rude,
but Ludo means too much to me.
You seem nice, but you're getting in my way.
-In your way? -Yes.
I'm the only one making progress here.
By gathering enough dust to make Fuzzy-Felt?
Our job is to gather evidence wisely.
Our job is to lock up the guilty.
With insight and methodology.
With gut feelings and instinct, as I've always done.
This is my case. So we do this my way.
Léo Leiman. What is it?
I'm not sure that's how I'd put it.
I mean, not ugly, but not pretty either. Average. With hair, yeah.
Oh, shit.
We have a problem. A really, really big problem.
Especially you.
Of course.
Those fake calls are getting embarrassing.
-Now, drop me off at the lab. -Gladly.
We'll just swing by Hernandez's office so you can update her.
Think I'm scared?
Do you know where I found her? At Cassati's!
-What? -Yep.
He knew she was after him.
He took it very badly.
I know he's tied to Ludo's murder.
What nonsense!
Let her finish.
Luckily I was there keeping Global Petrol's guests safe.
Good job, Léo. I like it when you do as I say.
Thanks, Captain.
That's ridiculous. She was there for the same reason I was.
Cassati is the lead that--
I'd rather not know.
-Why? -Everyone knows him.
He owns half of this town, and the other half owes him money.
He invested a lot in the summit.
I don't wish to doubt your German methods, but this affects me.
And if things go wrong, I suffer the fallout.
If we weren't all tied up in this lousy summit,
we could help you, but no one has time.
All this summit work has been nonstop.
I'm so exhausted.
You can inform your superiors
that I'd rather you went back home.
What?
To Germany.
And ask them to send someone more subtle.
-A real German. -Of course.
I totally agree with you.
-Did I say something wrong? -No.
I'll get going, then.
I made a blunder.
I said something I shouldn't have.
Bye, boss.
NATIONAL POLICE NICE
It's really too bad.
Together, we could've got that son of…
The sniper who killed Ludo. I mean, Lieutenant Bruno.
You know, all I was trying to do was protect you.
All Cassati has to do is give the order, and…
Auf Wiedersehen, Mélanie.
Hendoku-iyaku.
What did you say?
Poison becomes cure.
It's a quote from Nichiren Daishonin, a 13th century Buddhist monk.
It means that in life, you sometimes go through lousy stuff
which can save you later on.
Well, if you say so.
CASSATI UP2WHAT?
Hey, chubs. It's Ludo. Call me back once you're done jacking off.
I see the investigation is going well. Is that a police sketch?
How did you find me here?
All I need is your number to find you.
That's the principle of geolocation. Do you mind if I sit down?
Nice place.
It's so packed I guess you need to reserve in advance.
-What do you want? -I'm so over water sports.
I always wanted to be a cop.
I thought, as I'm helping you out,
maybe I could shadow you as an intern?
Why would you need an internship when you already work for me for free?
-Right. -Yeah.
Not my best business deal.
But…
Ludo was special to me too.
And while digging,
I found out he wasn't on vacation in Germany.
Excuse me.
I want to help find this bastard.
I also found out
that a skilled gunman, even from a distance,
is after you.
What's this all about?
A sniper wants you dead. I think the same one who--
Killed Ludo?
Yeah. But I don't want you to end up killed-a.
-Right. -Dead-a.
Dead-a on the ground-a.
Like a shit-a on a slab-a.
You in the morgue with a label on your big toe…
-No. -I don't want that.
-Me neither. -Having to deal with a weird coroner.
-Right. -Like air traffic controllers.
-Mysterious creatures. -Thanks.
-Sure. -Okay?
If I need you, I'll ring.
-Yes. -I'll head home, then.
No need to track me this time, okay?
Oops, my keys.
Sorry, I thought you--
-No. -No, not…
Goddammit, Mamich, I could've killed you.
All that for a spicy sausage.
I came with…
You can't just have a BBQ at someone's place.
Especially not at my place.
I can't take it, Mamich.
Part of is missing and I can't even grieve properly.
While Ludo's being kept on ice, nobody can say goodbye.
Yeah, I know. It's just awful.
But you're not alone. I wanted to introduce you to--
No. Stop trying to marry me off.
You have lousy taste in men.
Well, it's a woman I wanted to--
I'm now wondering how good I even am as a cop.
With Mélanie, the German weirdo,
I was making more progress.
But still, she was such a pain in the ass.
Like this, with her silly little gloves.
So?
What is she doing here?
-Well-- -How do you know each other?
-Wait. -I'm the hooker.
-What? -Yes, but she's not really a hooker.
-Fuck! -Right, Mélanie?
-I mean… -You're Ludo's girlfriend?
It can't have been that serious, otherwise he'd have told me.
-We were about to move in together. -In Germany?
I doubt it. Ludo and I hated Germany.
Right? We never went.
-No. -About that…
I'm sorry, but I don't know what he saw in you.
Oh, really?
I never got why he never introduced us.
But now I do, because you're so mean.
-You too. -So mean.
From the start.
What a disgusting thing to say! What the hell?
"The Riviera's top cop!" Stuff like that.
-That's so pathetic. -Stop it!
What happened to girls sticking together? Not hungry? Want some--
-This is insane. -It's the lab.
…spicy sausage?
It's the results.
Your vacuum bag?
Traces of explosives all over it!
Okay. So it's exactly as I suspected.
I'm going to call my intern and get him to stalk Cassati.
Your intern? That's news to me.
Yes, I have an intern.
-Coming? -She's coming.
That's more like it.
Ludo would've been glad to see you two getting along.
So you push and it explodes?
No, I'm a genius. I came up with a three-step system.
One, the doors lock,
so the target is trapped inside the car.
Two, the countdown timer begins,
giving the vehicle time to get far away from our friends
before it… And three.
Three?
Everyone will blame it on electric cars.
That can only be a good thing for our, I mean, your business.
Right. Why do you talk so much?
One last thing. Tell me if it sounds old-fashioned.
A countdown timer right on the dashboard. "Ticktock, ticktock."
It could add an element of stress to a silent electric car.
-I find it chaotic. -You do?
-Yeah. It's pretty chaotic. -Okay.
-Zako. -Cassati.
-Yes? -Is it ready?
Yeah, it's ready. Just the minor details now.
-It's not ready. -it's ready.
-Was the French cop a minor detail too? -He was snooping around.
He even came to Hamburg. That's where I work, so…
Either way, you and your sniper chick have landed me in the shit.
The Germans have sent in a supercop to investigate his death.
And our boss likes to be anonymous. So he's mad.
I'll need the final product in two days. Capito?
Listen up, you little meatball.
You're just a small-town VIP with a few showbiz pals.
I don't like that.
The one you need to be afraid of is me.
So take it easy now or you're dead.
-Sure. -You, your toyboy,
and that little hamster-dog of yours. Understand?
Stop!
You're pissing me off, I'm going to hang up.
What a dumbass!
-Who are we killing? -I don't know.
It’s… He’s not aware that…
Now that we're BFFs, I need to say something.
No time.
-Hi. -Hi.
Two of you now? Okay, well, come on in.
See? My intern.
Please come in.
Okay. He doesn't seem very official.
Sorry about the mess.
Right. A reformed hacker, my ass.
I only lay my hands on you.
I mean, on the computers, for you.
FBI, Mossad, MI6? You have access to all this data?
No, because we're not in James Bond.
I just named the files that for fun.
But I was able to get some files.
Want to see Cassati's accounts?
-Yes. -Yeah.
Okay. There's a lot of shady transfers coming from offshore accounts.
Think he's behind Ludo's death?
We need to make him talk.
But without Hernandez finding out.
What's working with Hernandez like? Is she nice?
We need a way to get into his place.
I'm not sure that's legal.
The Leiman method.
I studied the handbook. You need a warrant.
-Meaning? -We go in disguise.
Fine, don't listen. But I'm not coming.
If Hernandez finds out, I'll never get my badge.
Girls, this Cassati scares me a little.
-Come on, he's disabled. -Not actually.
-And an environmentalist. -Not actually.
So he's a real psychopath, then.
Check out that little ass. He's cute, huh?
What?
-Just be careful, because-- -I don't know.
I know he's not some hot alpha male, but there's…
Just so you know--
Ludo always said I was so guarded I'd scare people off.
But wait--
But he has this effect on me.
You know that beating-heart feeling?
Of course.
But in my pussy.
That's a mic. He has an earpiece.
-Girls, I'm about to ring the bell. -Focus.
The fox is in the henhouse. I repeat, the fox is in the henhouse.
-What? -Seriously?
I didn't get that.
-Hello? -Hello.
I'm here to deliver flowers from Marlène Schiappa.
I can spot a cop, and I hate flowers.
Oh, shit.
So get a warrant, you dipshits.
Thanks, b… bye, now.
Shit. I'm such an asswipe!
I should've pretended to be an Internet repairman instead. Damn it.
Life as a deliveryman is tough.
Sorry, I need to push the seat forward.
What a bummer.
One good thing career-wise is that he believed I was a real cop.
Clearly.
And on a personal level…
Who are they?
They sure aren't Amazon deliverymen.
-Whoa. He shot. -Here.
What do I do? Should I come with you or not?
Should I come or not? Okay, I'll stay right here, then.
I'm on a stakeout. My first ever stakeout.
Yes! Ah shit, I've got no donuts.
I'll be in front, on standby.
Her heart beating in her pussy. That's good to know.
Damn it, I'm stuck!
This way.
Don't stay there.
Okay, cameras.
All good.
Cassati's upstairs in the room on the right.
Okay.
Good luck.
-We'll do a jumping leg-up. -A what?
Ludo and I would always do it.
-A jumping leg-up? -Think, Zimmer.
It's so high.
-Here we go. -Right… Yeah…
-You okay? -Yes. Go.
-I'll get Cassati. You get the goons. -All right.
Kitchen, clear. Lionel, where are you?
-Living room. -Status?
All clear.
Stop right there.
Mélanie? Who was that?
Give me your gun.
Who is it?
I can't see anything.
I can see you now! Oh, shit!
Thanks, Bat.
Anything to help.
Where's Cassati?
-Where is the bastard? -Right here.
-Shit. -Give me that.
Here, give yourself a blow-dry.
-Léo? -You okay, baby?
You shut up!
Léo, come in. What's going on?
-Mélanie, Léo won't answer. What now? -Don't worry, I'm on it.
Bat? Do you see her? Come in.
I'm looking. I can't see her.
I can't find her.
Léo? Where is she?
Mélanie? What was that?
-Was that you? -No. Let's go.
I don't get it.
-There's static. -Great.
-Léo? -Can you see her?
Léo?
Léo?!
What's going on? Mélanie, talk to me!
-I'm looking for her. -Get in!
Shut your mouth.
-Léo? -Get in there!
Let her go and I'll let him go.
Hurry!
No!
-Mélanie, what's going on? -Bat, shut up!
Not so smart now, huh?
Fuck.
Hang on. Who are you guys? I'll kill her. You hear me?
Oh, no.
Shit.
Who's shooting?
-A sniper. -What?
He's on the roof.
Come on.
Watch out!
-You do care about me. -Hardly.
-I'm your BFF. -Whatever.
-Little sis. -We're the same age.
-Your homie? -Shut up!
-Is it that asshole? -Yeah.
Luckily he sucks at shooting.
-It's Bat. -The sniper's here, Bat!
-Get in. I was so worried. -Thanks, Bat.
See how I wrecked that hedge? So wild.
-Great. -A real street cop.
-Let's go. -Okay. Off we go.
Good job, Bat.
Who do I drop off first?
That's two!
No. Look.
Cassati is a little tired.
He won't be available for a long time.
Who is it?
-So you work for me now. -Okay.
Got it?
Okey-dokey. Yep.
Sure?
-Answer me. -Todo claro.
Don't speak Spanish to me!
-Well, bye. -Goodbye.
Yeah. Hey, Jean-Bat.
How are you? It's Léo. Well, of course, it's Léo.
Hey, Batou. Yeah… No. Far too slutty.
Hey, Bat. How are you? It's so nice to see you.
Fuck!
Hey, chubs. It's Ludo.
Call me back once you're done jacking off.
Hey… Yeah.
Hey, Batou. Call me back once you're done…
Wait, no.
Well, hey, Batou. How are you? Got over all that excitement?
Yeah, that's a good one. Well, hey, Batou. Very nice.
Got over that excitement? Hey, Batou.
Hey, Batou.
Hi. You also came to see if I got over that excitement?
Well, yeah.
Hi, Léo. We're just checking the--
I'm not staying.
I just came to see if… Anyway.
Catch. See ya.
What's up with her?
-Sulking. -Yeah.
Benny Koumba and Ivan Dieter?
Henchmen for someone known as Zako.
Former KGB officer, runs a German import-export company.
Involved in several trafficking cases. Living in Hamburg?
We must call Léo.
Come and dance
What?
-Hello? -Are you okay?
-Bat? -Hi, Léo, where are you?
Why'd you leave? Are you mad?
No, not at all, I just…
I just had to get back to the office. Something came up.
But your phone has been circling the block for the last five minutes.
-Get back here, we have a lead in Hamburg. -Okay, on my way. See you.
-She's coming. -Okay.
That guy smoking just opened a garage nearby.
Really?
Come and dance
Hello?
Leiman, get your ass here right now!
Okay. Oh, shit. Damn it.
Fuck.
We're hours away from the opening ceremony
of the International Fossil Fuel Summit,
and young activist Sima Scott
has just announced that despite receiving threats,
she will not give in to intimidation from the oil lobby
that wants to silence her.
Totally undetectable.
I did a good job.
Right?
I knew you were involved in that shitshow at Cassati's.
And Johnson confirmed it.
Johnson?
Big Johnson, his minion in a Speedo.
Oh, right.
Okay, I admit, I did stop by at Cassati's place,
but only to keep the summit safe.
What bullshit.
You haven't even been in to the office.
You're investigating Ludo's death, I know it.
But Captain, I'm sure it's linked--
Stop!
The summit is tonight. I have to deal with it.
I can't be running around after a disobedient headless chicken
does whatever she wants, and messes everything up.
We don't need you.
So keep away from the summit.
We'll talk once the flower-clad kid gets back on her boat,
and this town can be one big nursing home again.
Card.
What?
Come on.
There.
-Gun. -No.
Keep it.
-No? -Get out.
You're dismissed.
Herr Nandez?
Back there.
Why do you do that?
We're on the same team now.
…bird in your head Telling you out loud to come and dance
You turned off silent mode, huh?
Under the tropical sun
Oh, no. Please don't pick up. Don't.
-Hello? -Where's that bitch pal of yours?
Why?
Because the real Detective Zimmer just left my office.
He was sent from Berlin to investigate Ludo's death.
And he's wearing fatigues.
Okay.
If only you'd have listened to me, it wouldn't have gotten to this point.
The way she speaks to me… I was right. You're not German.
No.
My name is Mélanie Planells. I work for Internal Affairs in Paris.
I used my compensatory time to secretly investigate Ludo's death.
I sent the real Detective Zimmer
because I knew he sucked and that he wouldn't get in our way.
Well, that's a lot to take in in one go, but…
When you said you and Ludo were moving in together--
He asked me to marry him.
Really?
Fuck. So that idiot did love you.
Still, it's racist to say a German sucks.
No, Léo, that's not racist at all.
-It is. -No, it's not.
What? I just don't get why--
I see, but now's not the time for self-decolonization.
The guys at Cassati's who shot everyone
were in prison with a luxury garage owner called César.
Bat mentioned that.
Yes, he wanted to go.
-Who, Bat? -Yes.
Couldn't you have said that earlier?
I've been trying to!
What a lunatic!
I was growing fond of that electric car.
Gasoline really isn't good for the environment.
So, I've made a decision.
I'm going to convince my customers to turn their Porsche engines electric.
It's going to take off.
As Steve Jobs said, what you don't do is as important as what you do.
Yeah, but don't. It's a shitty idea.
Give me that. Go over there, they're coming.
Go hide in your office.
I was never meant to come here in person.
From now on, we cut out the middleman.
That'll save you time and money.
And it's greener too!
So, what now?
I'll give you this device.
Press this button.
And three minutes later, there'll be no more thorn in your side.
No, I'm not pressing anything.
No one can trace this to me.
No, I'll take it. Where is he?
Who's "he"?
How do we know if the car is far enough away when--
Okay, pay him.
Come on!
Off we go. Thank you, gentlemen.
And you, hurry up and get that car.
Let's get out of here. The door!
Here you go. Good luck.
I've been into her since Hamburg.
She's hot, huh?
You can't say that anymore.
Shut up and go pay that dumbass mechanic.
I'm going.
Oh, shit.
Go on, answer me. Who sent you?
TripAdvisor.
Okay.
Avoid my right side, I haven't had appendicitis yet.
-Go on. -I'm not kidding. I haven't.
-We don't share the same humor. -No, that…
Hello! I'm here to pick up my convertible.
What are you doing here?
-Works every time. -It's crazy.
Ouch, he hurt me.
-You okay, Bat? -You okay?
Well done, girls.
Wait. Is this really necessary?
They seemed pretty nice, deep down.
Oh, boy. Let's go.
A remote control was handed over,
the bodyguard left in a gray electric car,
and there was this important-looking guy who I'm sure I've seen before.
What was in that car?
Quit playing detective,
and get your tits out and holler like all the other bitches…
Is the gray car booby-trapped?
Fucking speak!
Fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you. Okay?
Violence solves nothing, Léo.
Stop.
Listen up, you sack of shit.
We lost someone we loved. So talk or die.
-Your pal almost blew it. -Shut up!
It wasn't us who killed him.
Shots fired!
He was about to talk!
-Over here, Bat! -Him again!
Hey, I don't have a gun!
Distraction!
Fuck!
Léo!
Shit, we're screwed. We have nothing.
All we know is that the sniper is one hot chick.
-Who can't aim. -"Hot chick"? That's objectifying.
No, sorry, it's a compliment.
There's something we missed that Ludo knew.
I took the liberty of swiping this piece of tech.
Zako used it to call people.
So if I can get their numbers, I can also get their…?
-Their hideout? -No, their…
-Their hole. -No, their…
Their name!
Their number gives me their…
Their number!
No, I have that!
No, I already said that.
-Tell us! -Their geolocation.
-Wow! -Of course.
That way you'll know where they are.
Yes. That is the point of geolocation.
-Okay. -You need to drop me off at home…
Let's go, then.
That's great. Thanks.
-Okay, let's go. -Yeah.
-All right. -Geolocation, of course.
The last two calls were answered at the same spot.
-That's the castle. -The opening ceremony is there in an hour.
I knew it was all connected!
We have to go, then.
Of course we do.
But we need to change. It's a fancy event.
My grandma's closet!
All the cars are gray.
What was his grandma doing in these clothes?
When she wore them? She was a St. Tropez physiotherapist.
Figures.
Okay, so the gray car lead won't be much help.
What a wise and methodical mind, I must say!
So we don't have a plan, then.
No, our plan is precisely to have no plan.
That turns me on.
Awkward.
Hi, I'm on the list.
This is a private event.
-Yes, but… -She's with me.
I'm on the list.
-Oh, you are? What's your name? -Yeah.
Marlène Somethingor, Somethingorother. Minister of…
I bet. Now, if you don't mind.
Lame party anyway. I'll go to a cooler one.
Off you go, then.
Léo, can you hear me?
Loud and clear, it's insane. Bat is so smart. Feels like we're in NCIS.
He's listening too.
Yeah, I know, that's why I said it.
It's Sima Scott. Listen to how amazing she is.
Dear policymakers, did you ever imagine yourselves
standing face-to-face with your children's killers?
I love her. She's amazing.
They're here, among us.
She's going for the jugular.
Fossil fuel executives are sealing the Earth's fate.
They want us to think they are just meeting demand,
but they've known the truth for the last 50 years.
Seriously?
They were the first to know about the climate crisis.
Of course.
They knew that extracting fossil fuels would jeopardize life on Earth.
They knew and they still did it.
-Countries up in flames or underwater. -Jerks.
Droughts depriving Mayotte of running water one-third of the time.
5,000 deaths a year due to air pollution.
They knew, yet they still did it.
But the era of impunity is over.
She's right. Impunity's over for you bastards.
The Stockholm Institute Center has just published…
Holy crap! It's the chick with unresolved mental issues.
Who? The hot psychopath?
-Yeah. -Tell me everything.
She's in a well-tailored black suit.
She's got a red wristband or something
that doesn't match her outfit.
Not her look, Joan Rivers, her behavior.
Is she looking at anyone?
Yeah. She's talking to a guy who's a bit…
I mean… Well… He's in a suit.
He seems to know Sima well.
Okay, send me a photo.
Come on in.
Okay.
It's simple. No more fossil fuel projects…
There you go. Got it?
It's the guy from the garage.
Okay, Bat's on it.
The turtle's head is emerging. I repeat, the turtle's head is emerging.
No, "The fox is in the henhouse."
A turtle head is when you need to…
Need to what?
Poop. It's when you need to…
Yeah, I got it.
Frédéric Valence, shit, of course. He's always with Sima.
Her communications director.
He's received big sums from offshore accounts.
Accounts belonging to Global Petrol.
-The summit organizers? -Yeah.
He surely can't be friends with both.
-Right. -Hear that, Mél?
Mélanie?
-One, two… -I can't trace her phone.
What about the contacts from Zako's phone?
One is still at the party, one has moved.
Where is it? In the sea?
Must be on a boat.
That bracelet must be a kill switch. Okay, stay here.
-All right. -I'll go.
-Okay. -Make sure Valence doesn't leave.
Okay, but wait. How are you getting there?
I still have my semi-erect.
I mean my boat.
-Yeah. -Let's go then!
Okay. Escape. Password.
All right. Never mind, I'll tidy up later.
-Excuse me, sorry… -You see?
Valence is the good guy in the end.
But…
He's supporting our planet's defender so we don't die like in The Last of Us.
The end was awful. Did you see it?
Forgive me, but you're a bit naive.
There are no good guys. Valence is a double-crossing asshole.
It's all an act. Okay?
I don't work for double assholes.
Nice try, but you have no choice. She's crazy.
If we don't do as we're told, we'll get killed.
Well, not by him, but the girl.
-The blonde? -Yes.
The long-haired English speaker?
By the way, where is she?
It's that one!
-Come in. -I'm here.
I'll connect to the boat's CCTV.
I love it.
All good. Be careful, okay?
Hear that Léo? She's our son of a bitch.
That bitch.
Doesn't look good, Léo.
Should I come?
Shall I come?
No, I've got this. Don't worry.
Léo, where are you? What do we do now?
Mélanie, grab the gun!
Behind you!
Champagne!
Nicely done.
She's coming back. Be careful, girls.
She's below with a gun. She's coming up. Get out of there!
She's out of ammo.
-Okay, get over here. -Coming.
Son of a bitch! Come and get your beating!
Hold on girls, I'm coming!
-Son of a bitch! -Don't say that.
-Watch your mouth! -Bitch!
I'm here, girls!
Yeah, okay. Got it, capito.
You do a swap. Discreetly, okay?
-Got it. -I'm counting on you.
They can't find the girl who was meant to give us orders, so…
-We're moving up the ladder. -Sweet.
That suits us nicely.
They're going to be swapping a gray car
for another identical gray car.
And we just need to turn a blind eye.
Very well.
May I?
-But wait. -Just a second.
Our new boss isn't the double asshole though, is it?
-No. -You're not getting in.
-What? -Absolutely not.
Stop it!
-Hernandez! -Hernandez!
-Get out of here! -Excuse me.
-Hernandez! -But, Leiman, you're fired!
-Who cares?! -And you, you big liar!
There's a car bomb, so quit fucking around, damn it!
Oh, you curse, Mélanie? Well, you certainly fucked us over!
That's enough bowing for one day.
But it went well, right? The message was clear…
Ever so clear.
She may wear hooker panties and be French, but listen to your sister!
Hooker panties?
Can we just focus?
-There's a booby-trapped car here. -Gray.
Hernandez, you'll live to regret this!
-To all-- -I'm sorry.
There's a car with a bomb! Gray!
Here it is. In you go.
That's kind, but I'll walk. I'm only going 500 meters.
Sorry? Oh, no, but it's protocol.
Hello? Why is nobody answering? Hello?!
-I'm sorry. Thank you. -Okay.
-We must tell them. -Breathe.
I won't work for him.
A gray car!
They're all gray.
I can see they're all gray, but one has a bomb planted in it!
Sir.
Countdown initiated.
-There was a car here. -It just left.
No! Where did it go?
Not a double asshole.
You're just panicking.
I'm not panicking, I just won't do it!
I just can't.
They told us to turn a blind eye.
They swapped one gray car for another which must not work so well.
-Where did it go? -That way!
-Fuck! -No.
-I'll handle Valence, go! -Move.
The speeches are over for today.
Thank you for all your support, and please help yourselves to the buffet.
Bravo!
-It's over, Valence. -Who are you? Who is she?
-Mélanie Planells, IA. -Diana Ross seems mad!
-Shall I, Mélanie? -You have nothing on me.
Go for it, Bat. Yes, we do. Watch.
What's that?
But that proves nothing.
Got him?
This is a misunderstanding. Who even understands English?
Thanks, Bat. I'm on my way, guys.
-Is she insane? -Halt detected.
-Door locked. -Don't worry.
-What? -It's fine.
There's a bomb.
I'm with the police. Don't panic.
Sima, I'm here. Everything will be okay.
-I can't! -Here's Baptiste!
-Who? -A genius. You'll see. He'll fix this.
Shit, it's locked!
He'll defuse it.
Screen activated.
It's the countdown.
4 minutes 15.
-César says hi. -Don't panic.
It'll be okay.
I can't get out.
I loved your speech, Sima. You opened my eyes.
-Well? -It's unlocked!
Get out, now! Thank you.
Come on. Good job, I love you.
-Now the bomb. -Where the fuck is it?
Look everywhere. Check the glovebox.
What? I am.
Look for any loose wires.
-It's here. -Found it?
Holy shit! Fuck.
Call the bomb squad.
No time for that.
-Go! -Get out, you guys!
Drive! I'll stop the countdown.
He said drive! We're all in this together now.
Okay.
-Easy. -No, we must get out of town.
No, not that way!
Watch out! The bomb!
-We need to leave town. -Yeah, okay. Hold on.
Easy.
Watch out!
Bat, do something.
I'm trying to stop it. You need to keep the car steady.
Look ahead!
-Yes. -Good job.
The next left to exit town.
That's what I call driving like a girl!
-Hell, yeah! -Turn left!
-Where to? -Away from the city.
The Esterel. It's too crowded.
We need a quiet spot to ditch it.
A quiet spot. In PACA?
Watch out!
Go into the sea. It'll absorb the blast!
I won't blow it up in the sea. I love fish!
Screw the fish. They shit in the sea!
Drive up to the cliff edge and we'll jump in.
Yeah.
Girls, no need to jump! I've managed to access the countdown!
You're amazing!
No!
There's no use! It's rigged!
What was that phrase that turns lousy things nice?
-Hendoku-iyaku! -Hendoku-iyaku.
-Hendoku-iyaku.
Look out!
-Hendoku-iyaku doesn't work! -Okay, guys.
I love you guys. Bat, I want you.
Mélanie, you're my homie now. I love you guys!
We're at Esterel.
-Which way? -On the left!
Hendoku-iyaku!
Get out, Bat!
Willkommen Volkswagen.
Wait, girls. I did it!
What?
I did it!
Maybe calling you my homie was a bit much.
Come on, you know I'm your BFF.
I love you.
Too soon? Shit, wait, you consent, right?
Consent for a--
-You're consenting? -Yes.
Now the Global Petrol representatives have committed to ratifying
the Fossil Fuel Non-Proliferation Treaty
supported by Sima Scott, citizens of the world can now celebrate…
See?
Take that, Valence!
The biggest brains in the automobile industry
are working to find solutions to counter global warming.
Amazing. This is all thanks to Ludo, actually.
….whose officers managed to foil a terrible attack
planned by double agent, Frédéric Valence,
who has today been incarcerated for criminal conspiracy.
One, two, three…
FOR LÉO
CAPTAIN LEIMAN
Where are your bitch friends?
Ms. Hernandez. Well, actually,
I did some research, all above-board, of course.
IT DEPARTMENT
I found out that Cassati came out of his coma,
so they decided to pay him a visit.
We're so happy to have you here. We are.
-I'm happy too. -You are?
Even if you are changing offices.
-Yes, but I won't be far. -Okay.
That's cool. Watch out. There you go!
Thank you. Thank you all so much.
You think I can convert this into an electric car?
I've become mega-green.
Maybe just buy a new car.
Are you out of your mind? I can't do that.
No way!
…under the Brazilian equator
Between Cuba and Manila
In the summertime, it's easy
Take my hand Come and dance
-No. -Yes.
I'm telling you, it's your fault we're here.
-No. -Yes.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
No!
Subtitle translation by: James Preston