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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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No'ng Christmas Sunday,

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00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:17,851
nasa airport ako
para lumipad pa-Vegas at mag-perform.

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Na-delay nang isang oras ang flight.
Tapos na-delay nang tatlong oras.

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00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:24,774
Tapos na-delay
ang flight nang limang oras.

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00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,693
{\an8}Tapos na-cancel ang flight,

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00:00:26,776 --> 00:00:29,487
{\an8}kaya na-cancel ang show ko sa Vegas,

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kung sa'n bumili ang mga tao ng ticket
para makita ako bilang regalo sa Pasko.

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00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:37,620
Kaya dahil sa kapalpakang 'yon,

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gusto kong ubusin
ang susunod na 20 minuto ng performance ko

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sa 'tang inang airline,

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00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:48,465
sa air travel, sa ugali ng mga tao
sa 'tang inang airline,

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00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:49,883
at kung ano-ano pa.

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00:00:51,259 --> 00:00:53,511
Town Biz, 'yon ang gusto ko.

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Sige.

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00:00:57,807 --> 00:01:01,519
Una, sa loob tayo magsimula.

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00:01:04,814 --> 00:01:07,942
Pag-usapan natin
itong mga 'tang inang seat belt, 'no?

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Gusto ko lang sabihin, una sa lahat,
American at Delta, pagpalain kayo.

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00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:19,996
Di n'yo alam ang halaga ng dagdag
apat na inch sa bruhang tulad ko.

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00:01:21,372 --> 00:01:23,917
Pero di ko alam kung anong klaseng lalaki

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ang nag-design
ng 'tang inang mga seat belt na 'to.

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00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,631
Bakit... Anong klaseng ma...

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Bakit ganito kahaba ang strap na 'to?
Tapos ito two inches lang?

25
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:38,348
Kailangan contortionist ka ata
para mapasok ang putang-

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00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:40,892
Muntik ko nang mabali ang likod ko,

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para lang ikabit
ang 'tang inang seat bealt.

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00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:45,939
At kung hihingi ka ng extension,

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'yong gaga akala ilegal ang hinihingi mo.
"Heto, kunin mo." Ang labo.

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00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:57,992
Bakit di kasi sa gitna
nagkakabit 'yong lintik?

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Di hamak na mas maganda, di ba?

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Oo!

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Kasi nagsisitabaan ang mga tao
sa United States of America,

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00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:08,837
at kailangan nilang disiplinahin
ang sarili nila nang maayos, amen.

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'Yong laki ng tray sa laki ng suso.

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Wala. Hindi rin uubra sa akin.

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00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:22,851
Uso na ulit ang malaking boobs,
at dito lang sila.

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Baka dapat may ilang baguhin
ang airline.

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00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:31,943
Lagyan ng butas 'yong
lintik na tray o ano ba.

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00:02:32,026 --> 00:02:34,445
Ah, hindi. Diskriminasyon 'yon. Wag 'yon.

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'Yong announcement nila

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pag may emergency raw sa plane,

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ang sabi, "Kung may emergency,

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may mask na bababa."

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"Ilagay mo muna sa bibig mo
bago mo subukang tumulong sa iba."

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00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:58,303
Alam n'yo? Ganito 'yon.
May mga bagay na di na sinasabi.

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Malamang ilalagay ko muna
sa 'tang inang bibig ko!

48
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,142
Ano'ng tingin n'yo sa 'kin?

49
00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:06,311
Uunahin ko ang 'tang inang buhay ko

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00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:09,397
dito sa 'tang inang mga ulap, gago ka ba?

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"Tutulungan kita.
Pero ako muna."

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Tapos sasabihin nila,

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"Ilagay ang mask sa bibig
at huminga nang normal."

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Bumubulusok tayo
sa putang inang lupa, gago!

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780 miles an hour!
"Huminga nang normal"?

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00:03:32,795 --> 00:03:37,091
Natataranta ako. Pagsasaksakin ko pa
bawat hinayupak sa 'tang inang 'to e.

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00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:39,594
"Huminga nang normal"? Gago ka ba?

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Tapos sasabihin nila,

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"May oxygen na dumadaloy sa mask,

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kahit na hindi lumulobo ang bag."

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00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:57,779
Iniisip ni gago, tanga tayo,

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kahit ano'ng kagaguhan
sasabihin nito eh.

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00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:01,741
Mamamatay na tayo.

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00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:06,704
Walang kahit ano'ng nahihipan,

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kahit lobo, kahit plastic bag,

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kahit titi, wala.

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Na hindi lolobo at...

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Gusto lang ng gagang 'to
may mask sa bibig namin

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para di rinig ang sigawan habang pabagsak.
Ayaw niyang marinig 'yon.

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"Mamamatay na tayo! 'Tang ina!"

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Ayaw niyang marinig 'yon.

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Ladies and gentlemen...

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gusto kong malaman n'yo na mas ligtas pa
sa dati ang air travel n'yo.

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"Bakit, Luenell"?

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Sasabihin ko.

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Dahil ako, si Luenell,
nasa 'tang inang langit, nagre-regulate

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gaya ng ginagawa ko sa 'tang inang lupa.

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'Yon nga.

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Isa akong self-appointed,

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unofficial air marshal.

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Naka-orange alert na ako
noon 9/12 pa lang.

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Orange alert.

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00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:20,194
Kita ko ang lahat ng lintik
na gumagalaw sa plane.

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00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:23,740
Ang una kong gagawin
pag tapak ko sa gago,

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papasok ako sa lintik na cockpit.

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00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:29,370
Oo, gusto kong makita
sino'ng nagpapalipad nito.

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00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:38,546
"Kumusta kayo? Mahaba ba ang tulog n'yo?"

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"Wala namang kaaway si misis
o anumang gaya no'n, 'no?"

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"Sige."

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00:05:54,228 --> 00:05:55,104
Sa...

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Sa aisle ako uupo.

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00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,277
Baka sakaling may mangyari.

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00:06:02,904 --> 00:06:06,741
Di ako malilintikan doon
sa tabi ng 'tang inang bintana.

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00:06:08,284 --> 00:06:11,746
O, mga Black people, tanda n'yo no'ng
sinasabi pa natin 'yong "malilintikan"?

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00:06:11,829 --> 00:06:14,499
"Nalintikan ako do'n
sa gago sa liquor store."

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00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:16,834
"Muntik na akong ma-late
sa trabaho sa kaniya."

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Alam n'yo, ibabalik ko siguro

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'yong ilang lumang slang.

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00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:35,103
Pero di dahil 'yong mga
bagets na kalaguyo ko...

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sabi nila, walang preno ang bibig ko.

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Sabi nila masakit daw akong magsalita.

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Sabi nila puro ako "putang ina".

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At sinasabi ko lagi
sa mga gagong bagets, "Makinig ka."

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"Babe, I love you. Totoo."

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00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:03,339
"At gusto kong maka-sex ka."

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00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:07,760
"Gusto kong maka-sex mo ako."

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00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:11,222
"Pero para malinaw,

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00:07:12,723 --> 00:07:16,477
gusto ko lang makantot nang mabilis
bago sumakay ng plane."

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"Dahil sabi ng dakilang propeta
na si Tupac Shakur,

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00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:27,572
"'Isang gabi lang ako dito, baby doll.
Gusto mo ba?'"

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00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:28,781
"'Babaero ako.'"

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At napakaraming mga
bagets na pwede diyan

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kasi, alam mo?

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00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:44,797
<i>May mga chicks ako</i>

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00:07:45,339 --> 00:07:47,925
<i>May mga chicks ako</i>

116
00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:51,471
<i>Sa iba't ibang area, area code</i>

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<i>May mga chics ako</i>

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Hey!

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<i>Mga chics</i>

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Mga white people, kung di n'yo alam 'yon,
lumang Black worship song 'yon.

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Isinulat at kinanta ng dakilang
gospel singer na si Nate Dogg.

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00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:22,752
Gago, di mo talaga alam lahat.

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Kaya,

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sa loob ng plane,
may mga pag-uugali

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na gusto kong pag-usapan.

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Una doon...

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00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:45,316
Ay, teka muna. Sorry.

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'Yong mga edibles,
sinasabi ko sa inyo...

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00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:55,535
Huwag, huwag mong kakainin
'yong maliit na bear.

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00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:58,663
'Yong maliit na bear, 'yong gummy bear.

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Iwasan n'yo siya. Si Satanas 'yon.

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00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:07,588
Pero, teka lang.

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00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:09,549
Balik tayo sa...

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00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:13,010
Sige, sa bunganga ko.

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00:09:14,011 --> 00:09:15,555
Oo, puro ako "putang ina",

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kaya sinusuyo
ko 'yong lintik na bagets, 'no,

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00:09:19,183 --> 00:09:22,603
at sabi ko, "Sige, babawasan
ko ang pagsabi ng putang ina."

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00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:27,817
Kaya gusto kong ibalik
'yong lumang kasabihan dati.

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Ibabalik ko 'yong "tara."

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00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:35,449
Ooh, dati pwede na 'yon eh.

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00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:39,704
Tanda n'yo
'yong mga brother dati, ganito, "Uy."

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"Uy."

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00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:45,543
"Uy."

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00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:53,384
"Uy."

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00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:56,637
"Tara?"

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'Yong mga gaga ganito, "Ay, sige."

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00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:07,481
Nag-uusap kami ng mga kumare sa telepono,

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ganito kami,
"Girl, tara daw. Sasama na ako!"

149
00:10:18,409 --> 00:10:23,706
At alam ko, 'yong ilan dito maswerteng

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00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:26,834
uuwi nang may kasama,

151
00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:29,712
at baka makatulog kayo.

152
00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:33,633
Pero pag madaling araw na,

153
00:10:34,216 --> 00:10:37,053
maririnig mo 'yong
malalim kong boses sa ulo mo,

154
00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:42,516
gigisingin mo ang kasama mo,
sabay tingin at sabi ng, "Uy, babe, tara!"

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00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:47,146
At mga gaga, gawin n'yo talaga,

156
00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:50,483
kasi 'yon ang pag-uusapan
ng mga lalaki kung ayaw n'yo.

157
00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:53,736
Gawin mo kung gusto nilang gawin.

158
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:05,414
Okay.

159
00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:10,211
Bilang unofficial air marshal...

160
00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:14,465
Seryoso talaga ako sa trabaho ko.

161
00:11:15,257 --> 00:11:17,593
At may mga pag-uugali

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na tingin ko
kailangang pag-usapan sa plane.

163
00:11:22,264 --> 00:11:24,767
Una sa lahat, ilalabas ko lang ito.

164
00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:26,644
Ayaw ko sa mga gagong corporate people.

165
00:11:26,727 --> 00:11:29,939
Sasakay kayo sa lintik na plane
dala-dala ang mga kaartehan niyo,

166
00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:33,109
tapos uupo ka sa tabi ko sa may bintana,

167
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:37,446
at magsi-seat belt siguro,
tapos ibababa ang tray.

168
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:39,115
Ilalapag mo ang laptop mo.

169
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:43,285
Limang oras na biyahe mula Oakland
papuntang New York City,

170
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:45,037
buong biyahe, 'yong gagong 'to...

171
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,751
Buong putang inang biyahe talaga!

172
00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:54,797
May katabi akong isa sa mga baliw
na gagong 'to noong isang linggo,

173
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:58,718
talagang tinanong ko siya.
Sabi ko, "Excuse me, naka-shabu ka ba?"

174
00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:04,348
Oo, kasi itong gago
di man lang tumingin sa bintana.

175
00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:06,767
Hindi man lang uminom ng tubig.

176
00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:08,644
Hindi man lang nag-banyo.

177
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,479
Hindi man lang ako tiningnan.

178
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:13,691
Hindi man lang kumain.
Hindi pinahiga ang upuan.

179
00:12:13,774 --> 00:12:15,860
Hindi nakinig ng music.

180
00:12:15,943 --> 00:12:18,154
Sumisilip ako sa lintik na laptop.

181
00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:20,114
Puro kagaguhan din.

182
00:12:20,197 --> 00:12:23,242
"Ano ba 'yang mga putang inang 'yan?"

183
00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:34,003
At saka,

184
00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:36,797
pakiramdam ko

185
00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:43,095
kung pumasok ka sa closed space,

186
00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:49,518
kunwari sa isang airline row

187
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:55,941
o upuan sa simbahan o sa sinehan,

188
00:12:56,025 --> 00:12:58,402
pero mas tinutukoy ko mga airline seats.

189
00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:03,491
Kung ikaw ang papasok,
at kung papasok ka

190
00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:07,244
na may ibang tao kang madadaanan,

191
00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:10,915
tingin ko dapat bilang 'tang inang tao

192
00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:13,918
kahit pansinin mo man lang na nandiyan

193
00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:16,837
'yong gagong katabi mo.

194
00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:21,258
Huwag kang umasta na parang
wala kang katabing buhay na tao.

195
00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:24,553
Mahirap ba sabihing, "Hi, kumusta ka?"

196
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:29,350
Siyempre, hindi ko naman gustong kausap
ang 'tang inang mukha mo hanggang Boston.

197
00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:33,187
Ayaw ko rin makita ang picture ng aso mo
o anuman diyan.

198
00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:36,524
Ang gusto ko lang, 'tang ina,
magsalita ka naman.

199
00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:40,110
Kasi kung may nangyari,
sa akin ka tatakbo.

200
00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:41,821
"Tulong! Saklolo!"

201
00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:43,531
"Gago, hindi, nagsalita ka sana."

202
00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:45,950
"Di mo ko kilala, di ba?
Wala ako dito, di ba?"

203
00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:47,409
"Hindi ako nag-eexist, di ba?"

204
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,788
"'Tang ina mo, gago. Bahala ka diyan.
Good luck, gago."

205
00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:52,414
"Bahala ka diyan."

206
00:13:56,877 --> 00:13:59,755
At, oo, mga white people,
kayo ang kausap ko.

207
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:18,399
May trip ako, okay?

208
00:14:19,316 --> 00:14:21,610
Ito ang trip ko. Gusto kong lumipad

209
00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:25,406
na nakataas 'yong shade ng bintana.

210
00:14:27,324 --> 00:14:28,784
Di lang dito.

211
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:43,966
Hanggang dito rin.

212
00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:47,052
"Ako ang lintik na air marshal,
akin lahat 'to."

213
00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:49,054
"Itong row? Sa 'kin lahat."

214
00:14:50,514 --> 00:14:53,934
Hindi, gusto kong nakikita ang takeoff

215
00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:56,270
at saka ang landing.

216
00:14:57,187 --> 00:15:00,399
Ewan ko ba,
parang may kinalaman sa 'kin 'yon, 'no?

217
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,109
At turbulence din.

218
00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:05,696
Pag may turbulence,
titingin agad ako sa labas ng bintana.

219
00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:07,948
"Luenell, 'di nakikita ang turbulence."

220
00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:09,825
Paano mo nalaman kung 'di ka tumingin?

221
00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:12,077
Baka ako ang gagong makakita,

222
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,788
tapos ako, "Kita mo?
Turbulence. Sabi na, e."

223
00:15:20,294 --> 00:15:23,589
Paminsan-minsan,
sasabihin ko "sidebar"

224
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:25,591
Pag sinabi kong "sidebar,"

225
00:15:25,674 --> 00:15:29,011
Ibig sabihin, dahil sa edible,
tatlong magkakaibang bagay ang iniisip ko

226
00:15:29,094 --> 00:15:31,889
nang, 'tang ina, sabay-sabay,
at kailangan kong...

227
00:15:31,972 --> 00:15:34,850
Pero babalik naman ako
sa kinukuwento ko. Okay.

228
00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:37,853
Bale, noong isang buwan,

229
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,563
sasakay ako ng first class.

230
00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,649
Siya nga pala, inabot nang matagal

231
00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:44,526
ang taga-East, West, at North Oakland
na bruhang 'to

232
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:49,615
para makapag-demand ng first-class tickets
sa'n man ako pumunta.

233
00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:52,451
Pero maniwala ka, 'pag nakita mo ako,

234
00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:54,828
'tang ina, nandito ako dahil doon.

235
00:15:56,789 --> 00:16:00,125
Isa pa, alam kong may dapat magbago.

236
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,836
Kasi sawa na akong
sumakay ng lintik na plane

237
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,672
na nadadaanan ang mga kaibigan ko.

238
00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:07,216
"Kumusta, Ced? Kumusta ka, D.L.?"

239
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:09,385
"Oo, dito ako sa 36C."

240
00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:11,178
"Ang labo."

241
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:15,683
"Nasa iisang show tayo.
Kakausapin ko ang mga tao ko."

242
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:22,356
Sige, eto, ilang buwan na ang nakalipas,

243
00:16:23,774 --> 00:16:28,696
Teka, aayusin ko lang 'to... mabilis lang.

244
00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:29,989
Ilang buwan lang,

245
00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:33,575
edi nasa first class ka,
may hawak kang cocktail.

246
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:38,706
Uupo ako sa aisle,
nagpapaka-air marshal si gaga.

247
00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:42,584
Nakikisawsaw sa lahat kasi, ganito kasi.

248
00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:47,589
Ako- Habang busy ang lahat
at nag-iinternet lang,

249
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:49,216
May Rolodex ako sa isip ko

250
00:16:49,299 --> 00:16:52,511
ng bawat gagong natapakan
ang bruhang 'to.

251
00:17:17,786 --> 00:17:19,747
Babaeng may dalawang anak.

252
00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:21,749
Ay, sidebar.

253
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:25,961
Sige.

254
00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:32,718
Ito 'yong bahagi ng show na tatawagin
nating, "Mga Iniisip ng Black Women."

255
00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:37,222
Ayaw kong gawing tungkol sa race 'to.

256
00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:42,019
Sinasabi ko lang na, okay,
mga white ladies at iba pa,

257
00:17:42,811 --> 00:17:45,773
kung pumunta ka sa isang lugar
nang bihis na bihis,

258
00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:49,068
at nasa frozen section ka sa grocery,

259
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:51,862
o nasa airport at sasakay ka sa plane,

260
00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:55,866
at kung bihis na bihis ka
pero ang baby mo, walang medyas,

261
00:17:57,242 --> 00:18:00,621
kaming mga Black women, nasa sulok,
pinagtsi-tsismisan ka.

262
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:06,710
Sasabihin namin,

263
00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:10,214
"Tingnan mo 'yong yagit na 'yon,
walang medyas 'yong baby."

264
00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:13,342
"Gagang 'yon,
tingnan mo 'yong munting kalbo."

265
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,511
"Malamig dito.
Kailangan niya ng sumbrero."

266
00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:18,680
Sobrang mapanglait naming mga gaga.

267
00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:24,561
At- Okay. Pero pagbibigyan kita,

268
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:27,356
pakinggan mo, lumaki akong

269
00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:30,192
laging may nakikitang

270
00:18:30,984 --> 00:18:32,986
isang sapatos sa kalye.

271
00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:35,572
At nagtaka ako.

272
00:18:37,282 --> 00:18:39,618
"Nasaan 'yong isa pang sapatos?"

273
00:18:40,577 --> 00:18:43,997
"Bakit di nalaglag ang parehong sapatos?
Ang labo."

274
00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:47,417
Tapos nagka-anak ako.

275
00:18:49,336 --> 00:18:53,173
At 'yong 'tang inang
child lock ek-ek na 'yan,

276
00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:55,592
bago pa lang, e.

277
00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:57,094
Pero no'ng wala pa 'yon,

278
00:18:57,177 --> 00:19:01,140
pag naabot na ng mga bubwit na 'to
mula sa upuan nila,

279
00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:04,143
talagang bubuksan nila 'yong bintana

280
00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:07,437
tapos kukunin ang sapatos
at itatapon sa lintik na bintana!

281
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:11,316
Pati 'yong lintik na medyas nila,

282
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:15,404
at wala kang kaalam-alam hanggang
makarating na kayo sa lintik na simbahan,

283
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:19,449
na 'yong bubuwit sa likod,
nakapaa na pala!

284
00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:22,077
"Nasaan ang lintik na sapatos mo?!"

285
00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:31,795
Kaya ngayon, alam ko na.

286
00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:37,718
Pero buti na lang, 'tong mga anak
nitong babae, pasado.

287
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:41,346
At cute din sila.

288
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:45,601
Sabi ko, "Aw, coochie-coochie.
Cute. Ang cute."

289
00:19:47,394 --> 00:19:49,855
Ang susunod na sumakay, isang cowboy.

290
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:01,575
"Howdy."

291
00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:07,289
<i>Di na kailangan malungkot</i>

292
00:20:07,372 --> 00:20:10,375
<i>Sa FarmersOnly.com</i>

293
00:20:14,504 --> 00:20:16,423
Susunod, isang sundalo.

294
00:20:17,507 --> 00:20:19,009
Sige, retired.

295
00:20:19,635 --> 00:20:20,761
Taga-Navy.

296
00:20:22,429 --> 00:20:24,056
Salamat sa inyong serbisyo.

297
00:20:28,268 --> 00:20:32,272
"Okay. Ang laki ng paa.
Sigurado, transsexual."

298
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:39,029
"Hey, girl."

299
00:21:01,301 --> 00:21:04,388
Edi pumasok 'tong white woman sa plane.

300
00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:06,640
At umupo siya...

301
00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:09,476
umupo siya sa tabi ko.

302
00:21:10,227 --> 00:21:13,105
Binaba niya agad 'yong shade.

303
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:24,658
Alam mo, sa isip ko, parang, "Lintik,
kailangan kong kausapin 'tong bruha."

304
00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:28,537
Kasi nakabukas dapat ang shade.

305
00:21:36,461 --> 00:21:37,462
Sabi ko...

306
00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:01,194
"Excuse me."

307
00:22:02,029 --> 00:22:05,949
"Pwede mo bang itaas ang shade, please?

308
00:22:07,117 --> 00:22:09,619
At tiningnan niya ako at sabi, "Bakit?"

309
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:14,416
At sabi ko,

310
00:22:16,084 --> 00:22:18,628
"Siguro nerbiyos o anuman,

311
00:22:18,712 --> 00:22:22,049
pero gusto kong makita
ang takeoff at ang landing."

312
00:22:22,132 --> 00:22:24,634
"Kasi, paano kung may paparating sa atin?"

313
00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:32,142
At sabi niya,
"Ano'ng gagawin mo kung meron?"

314
00:22:40,317 --> 00:22:43,236
At sabi ko,
"Edi alam ko kung kailan sisigaw."

315
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:45,197
"Kaya buksan mo na
ang lintik na bintana."

316
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:50,535
At inabot ko 'yong bintana,
binuksan ko 'yong shade para sa kaniya.

317
00:22:50,619 --> 00:22:55,332
At sabi niya, "Diyos ko!
Nasa personal space na kita!"

318
00:22:55,415 --> 00:22:56,708
At sabi ko, "Bruha...

319
00:22:58,668 --> 00:23:01,296
kung gusto mo ng
putang inang personal space,

320
00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:03,131
dapat nag-arkila ka ng plane, gaga,

321
00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:07,969
kasi lahat ng hinayupak dito,
nasa personal space ng bawat isa.

322
00:23:08,053 --> 00:23:09,888
"At, lintik, kung ayaw mo..."

323
00:23:09,971 --> 00:23:10,806
"Ano?"

324
00:23:28,573 --> 00:23:29,574
"Siya-"

325
00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:34,913
"Ako-"

326
00:24:08,029 --> 00:24:13,034
Mabigat na krimen pala ang bungangaan
ang isang gaga sa plane,

327
00:24:13,118 --> 00:24:16,455
kahit di pa lumilipad 'yong plane
o ano pa man.

328
00:24:19,583 --> 00:24:25,630
Dahil seryoso ako sa trabaho ko bilang
self-appointed, unofficial air marshal,

329
00:24:25,714 --> 00:24:27,716
nangako akong di na...

330
00:24:30,510 --> 00:24:33,513
kakausapin itong bruha
sa isang oras na flight

331
00:24:34,639 --> 00:24:36,183
mula Oakland hanggang Las Vegas.

332
00:24:36,266 --> 00:24:37,642
Pero ang ginawa ko...

333
00:24:39,060 --> 00:24:41,938
Naalala n'yo no'ng sinabi kong
may ibabalik akong lumang slang?

334
00:24:42,022 --> 00:24:43,064
Oo!

335
00:24:43,148 --> 00:24:46,193
Ang ginawa ko,
'yong iba makikilala 'to,

336
00:24:46,276 --> 00:24:49,112
ang ginawa ko, lumingon,

337
00:24:49,196 --> 00:24:53,325
at tiningnan ko
na parang "makuha ka sa tingin" ang bruha

338
00:24:53,408 --> 00:24:55,660
hanggang sa putang inang Las Vegas.

339
00:24:55,744 --> 00:24:57,370
"Sige, lumingon ka, bruha."

340
00:24:57,454 --> 00:25:00,957
"Nakatitig lang ako
sa lintik na eardrum mo, bruha."

341
00:25:01,041 --> 00:25:02,667
"Lumingon ka, bruha."

342
00:25:02,751 --> 00:25:06,296
'Di ba nakakainis 'yon,
pag may nag-cut na gago sa 'yo,

343
00:25:06,379 --> 00:25:09,633
tapos nahabol mo 'yong
gagong ungas sa stoplight,

344
00:25:09,716 --> 00:25:13,345
at gustong-gusto mong harapin ka nila,
pero ayaw kang tingnan?

345
00:25:13,428 --> 00:25:16,306
"Tingnan mo ako hampaslupang gago!
'Tang ina mo!"

346
00:25:19,434 --> 00:25:20,268
Sige, sandali,

347
00:25:30,612 --> 00:25:32,364
Ladies and gentlemen,

348
00:25:33,907 --> 00:25:36,910
nakatayo ako dito bilang patunay.

349
00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:40,205
May kasabihan tayo,

350
00:25:40,914 --> 00:25:43,583
"Salamat sa Diyos, di kita sa akin
'yong pinagdaanan ko."

351
00:25:51,967 --> 00:25:55,345
Ladies and gentlemen,
di man halata sa 'kin, pero

352
00:25:56,346 --> 00:25:57,889
pakawala ako.

353
00:26:09,276 --> 00:26:10,151
Oo.

354
00:26:10,902 --> 00:26:12,028
Bilang ng naka-sex...

355
00:26:12,112 --> 00:26:17,117
<i>Mataas, mataas, mataas, mataas, mataas!</i>

356
00:26:20,954 --> 00:26:24,207
Matagal ko nang pinamimigay
ang puki ko simula pa no'ng...

357
00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:27,210
noong mid '70s.

358
00:26:28,044 --> 00:26:30,088
BA, BC.

359
00:26:30,171 --> 00:26:32,882
Bago ang AIDS. Bago ang crack.

360
00:26:32,966 --> 00:26:35,927
Napakagandang panahon!

361
00:26:39,514 --> 00:26:42,309
Pero pagod na ako, 'tang ina, gago...

362
00:26:44,728 --> 00:26:45,937
Siguro ano na lang...

363
00:26:46,021 --> 00:26:47,105
Kinuwenta ko na.

364
00:26:48,523 --> 00:26:53,570
Siguro mga 17, 18
na masarap na kantot na lang ako.

365
00:26:54,237 --> 00:26:57,073
Isasara ko na ang tindahan.

366
00:26:59,075 --> 00:27:03,955
Alam mo, pag tumatanda ka,
napapaisip ka na e.

367
00:27:05,206 --> 00:27:07,000
Na parang... Ako...

368
00:27:07,083 --> 00:27:11,004
Ang sinasabi ko,
ano'ng edad ba pwedeng tumigil na

369
00:27:11,087 --> 00:27:13,882
do'n sa nakakainis na pagsubo ng titi
at kung ano-ano pa?

370
00:27:16,009 --> 00:27:17,802
Ipagawa mo na sa iba.

371
00:27:22,557 --> 00:27:23,642
Hindi, ano lang...

372
00:27:25,935 --> 00:27:28,063
Tama na kasi.

373
00:27:29,356 --> 00:27:31,524
Iniisip mo ba, 75 years old na ako,

374
00:27:31,608 --> 00:27:34,819
nandoon pa rin ako
sumusubo ng mga lintik na titi, 'no?

375
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,781
"Honey, di na gawain ni Tita 'yon."

376
00:27:38,823 --> 00:27:42,160
"Hindi, sana nakita mo
no'ng pakawala pa ko."

377
00:27:42,243 --> 00:27:43,828
"Dati akong halimaw!"

378
00:27:44,579 --> 00:27:47,207
"Pelican ang tawag nila
sa 'kin dati, honey."

379
00:27:50,752 --> 00:27:53,004
"Hindi, di na gawain ni Tita 'yan."

380
00:28:03,181 --> 00:28:06,893
Mahirap ang buhay pakawala ngayon.

381
00:28:06,976 --> 00:28:08,144
Inaamin ko.

382
00:28:08,895 --> 00:28:11,231
Di mo alam saan ka pupunta.

383
00:28:12,023 --> 00:28:14,901
'Yong mga bagets, pangit ang foreplay,

384
00:28:14,984 --> 00:28:16,945
pero masarap ang titi.

385
00:28:18,154 --> 00:28:21,074
'Yong mga matatanda,
masarap ang foreplay,

386
00:28:21,157 --> 00:28:22,367
pero 'yong... titi

387
00:28:24,285 --> 00:28:25,912
pangit na.

388
00:28:26,496 --> 00:28:28,498
At hindi n'yo kasalanan 'yon.

389
00:28:29,416 --> 00:28:32,752
Di n'yo kasalanan, kasi no'ng umiinom
na kayo ng gamot para sa high-blood,

390
00:28:33,461 --> 00:28:35,880
kailangan n'yong magdesisyon.

391
00:28:35,964 --> 00:28:39,175
Gusto mo bang kumantot,
o gusto mong mabuhay? Pero di...

392
00:28:42,303 --> 00:28:45,598
Pagod na ako at nagawa ko na lahat

393
00:28:47,183 --> 00:28:49,394
ng pwedeng gawin ng babaeng pakawala.

394
00:28:50,311 --> 00:28:54,649
Nagbabago na ang panahon.
Nakipag-sex na rin ako nang malamig dati.

395
00:28:54,733 --> 00:28:56,443
Nakipag-sex ako nang malamig.

396
00:28:56,526 --> 00:28:58,319
Nakipag-sex ako sa snow.

397
00:28:58,403 --> 00:29:00,739
Minsan, nakipag-sex ako, may hailstorm.

398
00:29:00,822 --> 00:29:03,950
Nakakainis 'yon. 'Yong lintik, lagi akong
tinatamaan sa mukha.

399
00:29:04,033 --> 00:29:08,037
Hindi ako makapag-concentrate.
Muntik nang matanggal ang ngipin ko.

400
00:29:09,789 --> 00:29:12,292
Nakipag-sex na ako sa disyerto, sa mainit.

401
00:29:13,668 --> 00:29:16,337
Sa umaga, sa gabi.

402
00:29:16,421 --> 00:29:18,923
Sa harap, sa likod.

403
00:29:19,007 --> 00:29:20,383
Sa garahe.

404
00:29:21,593 --> 00:29:22,969
Sa likod ng sasakyan.

405
00:29:23,052 --> 00:29:25,305
Sa workbench. Sa tool shed.

406
00:29:25,847 --> 00:29:27,140
Sa swimming pool.

407
00:29:27,223 --> 00:29:28,933
Sa Jacuzzi.

408
00:29:29,017 --> 00:29:30,435
Sa putting green.

409
00:29:31,186 --> 00:29:32,604
Sa tabi ng barbecue pit.

410
00:29:32,687 --> 00:29:34,105
Sa garden.

411
00:29:34,189 --> 00:29:35,440
Sa deck.

412
00:29:35,523 --> 00:29:36,858
Sa lawn furniture.

413
00:29:36,941 --> 00:29:38,026
Sa kusina.

414
00:29:38,693 --> 00:29:41,029
Sa mesa sa kusina.

415
00:29:42,697 --> 00:29:44,115
Sa sahig ng kusina.

416
00:29:44,199 --> 00:29:45,617
Sa sala.

417
00:29:45,700 --> 00:29:47,160
Sa couch.

418
00:29:47,243 --> 00:29:48,745
Sa sofa.

419
00:29:48,828 --> 00:29:50,038
Sa carpet.

420
00:29:50,121 --> 00:29:52,499
Shag at regular.

421
00:29:53,416 --> 00:29:56,669
O, di ba, naaalala n'yo 'yong shag carpet?

422
00:29:57,170 --> 00:30:00,089
No'ng malakas pa 'yong tuhod n'yo?

423
00:30:00,173 --> 00:30:02,926
Kahit half-inch lang ng shag carpet

424
00:30:03,009 --> 00:30:06,179
at bumayo ka lang, bayo lang.

425
00:30:06,262 --> 00:30:07,430
Bayo...

426
00:30:10,892 --> 00:30:12,769
Ay, ako lang ba? Okay.

427
00:30:14,646 --> 00:30:17,023
Nakipag-sex na rin ako sa hagdan.

428
00:30:17,106 --> 00:30:19,442
Nakipag-sex ako sa attic. Sa basement.

429
00:30:19,526 --> 00:30:21,069
Sa kuwarto ng magulang ko.

430
00:30:21,152 --> 00:30:22,821
Sa kuwarto nila Lola.

431
00:30:22,904 --> 00:30:24,280
Sa kuwarto ng mga bata.

432
00:30:24,364 --> 00:30:27,450
Do'n sa Cinderella bed na
may parang bubong.

433
00:30:27,534 --> 00:30:29,744
Sa race car bed.

434
00:30:29,828 --> 00:30:33,081
Alam ko, nagsisisi ako...
Masama ang loob ko do'n.

435
00:30:33,164 --> 00:30:39,170
Sabi ko sa bagets, "Iwan mo ako."
Tapos nakipag-sex ako sa rec room.

436
00:30:39,254 --> 00:30:41,256
Sa pool table.

437
00:30:41,339 --> 00:30:43,675
Sa ilalim ng ping-pong table.

438
00:30:44,175 --> 00:30:45,510
Bukas ang kurtina.

439
00:30:45,593 --> 00:30:47,011
Sarado ang kurtina.

440
00:30:47,095 --> 00:30:48,304
May ilaw.

441
00:30:48,388 --> 00:30:49,722
Walang ilaw.

442
00:30:49,806 --> 00:30:51,015
May damit.

443
00:30:51,099 --> 00:30:52,392
Walang damit.

444
00:30:52,475 --> 00:30:53,643
May sapin.

445
00:30:53,726 --> 00:30:55,061
Walang sapin.

446
00:30:55,144 --> 00:30:56,187
Twosome.

447
00:30:56,271 --> 00:30:57,355
Threesome.

448
00:30:57,438 --> 00:30:58,439
Foursome.

449
00:30:58,523 --> 00:30:59,440
Orgies.

450
00:30:59,524 --> 00:31:02,235
Marijuana. Alak. Cocaine.

451
00:31:02,318 --> 00:31:03,194
Pill.

452
00:31:03,278 --> 00:31:04,195
Mushroom.

453
00:31:04,279 --> 00:31:05,780
Honey. Butter.

454
00:31:05,864 --> 00:31:06,823
Baby oil.

455
00:31:06,906 --> 00:31:07,782
Syrup.

456
00:31:07,866 --> 00:31:09,492
Jelly. Agave.

457
00:31:09,576 --> 00:31:11,286
Nutella. Whipped cream.

458
00:31:11,369 --> 00:31:12,453
Peanut butter.

459
00:31:12,537 --> 00:31:14,038
Strawberries. Mga saging.

460
00:31:14,122 --> 00:31:16,332
Green beans, patatas, kamatis...

461
00:31:16,416 --> 00:31:17,542
At marami pang iba!

462
00:31:17,625 --> 00:31:20,420
Salamat, Oakland!

463
00:31:47,989 --> 00:31:50,283
Lahat ng ako,

464
00:31:51,242 --> 00:31:53,828
lahat ng kinakatawan ko,

465
00:31:54,454 --> 00:31:56,789
at lahat ng mahalaga sa 'kin,

466
00:31:56,873 --> 00:32:00,835
natutunan ko sa mga kalye
ng Oakland, California.

467
00:32:04,839 --> 00:32:09,218
Lagi akong sumasakay
ng bus ng AC Transit dati dito.

468
00:32:09,302 --> 00:32:12,388
Nakulong na ako dito.

469
00:32:14,682 --> 00:32:19,062
Lahat ng nasa kuwartong 'to,
bahagi ng kuwento ko.

470
00:32:19,938 --> 00:32:23,149
Alam n'yong matagal na kayong
naka-suporta sa 'kin

471
00:32:23,232 --> 00:32:25,902
Soul Beat Television Network pa lang.

472
00:32:28,029 --> 00:32:31,908
At 'wag nating kalimutan
ang Dorsey's Locker.

473
00:32:34,953 --> 00:32:39,415
Marami sa inyo dito,
nakitulog ako sa mga sahig n'yo,

474
00:32:39,499 --> 00:32:41,459
sa mga garahe n'yo,

475
00:32:41,542 --> 00:32:43,711
sa mga couch n'yo.

476
00:32:43,795 --> 00:32:46,089
Kinarga n'yo ang baby ko.

477
00:32:46,172 --> 00:32:49,300
Hinatid n'yo ko.
Tinulungan n'yo ko.

478
00:32:49,384 --> 00:32:54,263
Nandito ako para sa Oakland
hanggang sa putang inang wakas.

479
00:32:54,347 --> 00:32:56,808
Salamat, di niyo ko kinalimutan.

480
00:32:56,891 --> 00:32:58,267
Mahal ko kayong lahat.

481
00:32:58,351 --> 00:33:01,270
Salamat nang marami.
Salamat sa inyo. Good night.

482
00:33:02,605 --> 00:33:04,983
Tagapagsalin ng subtitle:
Jay Vee Linatoc