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‪-[alarm ringing] ‪-[man] On the floor, you motherfuckers!
‪Down!
‪[in Zulu] Hey, get down!
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX
‪[in English] On the floor!
‪Hey! Hey!
‪-[sirens wailing] ‪-[man] On the floor. Hey!
‪[indistinct chattering on radio]
‪[man in English] ‪Here are our demands
‪[panting] I want a helicopter ‪to take me to Zimbabwe.
‪I want what I want.
‪No, no, please. Don't… Don't do that.
‪Don't negotiate [groans]
‪If it's not here, in the hour,
‪[in Zulu] it's bad. ‪[in English] Bodies hit the floor.
‪-[car tires screeching] ‪-[engine revving]
‪-[siren wailing] ‪-[mid-tempo music playing]
‪[indistinct chattering on radio]
‪[in English] What is the situation here?
‪Yeah, there are three assailants ‪inside there.
‪This is their list of demands.
‪They said that if we don't cooperate,
‪they're going to start ‪dropping human bodies.
‪[man] Hey, you stop!
‪[man 2] Hey, hey. Stop! Hey, don't run!
‪[gun cocks]
‪[panting] You are cornered. ‪You are cornered.
‪[siren wails]
‪[officer] Hey, my sister, my sister.
‪[in Zulu] You are Hamilton, hey?
‪[in English] You know why I stopped you?
‪What kind of wine ‪were you drinking, my sister?
‪-Merlot. ‪-Merlot?
‪[exclaims] Aye-aye-aye. Huh-uh, huh-uh.
‪No, you have to get out of the car.
‪-[sirens wailing] ‪-We're going in.
‪-[gunshots blasting] ‪-[screams]
‪-[in Zulu] Hey, freeze! ‪-[in English] Give it up. You're trapped.
‪-[grunts] ‪-[gunshots blasting]
‪-[exclaims in pain] Yoh! ‪-Sorry.
‪[laughs] My sister.
‪Ha! You're going to jail, my sister.
‪There's no other way. ‪You're going to jail.
‪Fuck you, cop.
‪-I'm not going back to jail. ‪-[in Zulu] Hey, you! [English] Language!
‪[in Afrikaans] Sorry.
‪[officer, in English, panting] ‪What does it feel like
‪to be at the front queue
‪of a prison cell?
‪How about we work this out,
‪as, uh, a cold drink? ‪[Tswana] a little cold drink?
‪-[in English]Who said anything about jail? ‪-[in Zulu] Put in cold drink.
‪[in Zulu] Cold drink, man!
‪-Cold drink? ‪-[thug] Cold drink.
‪[in English] What do you mean ‪"cold drink"?
‪Ah, As in like a bribe?
‪Bribe?
‪What? Who said bribe?
‪[Sparletta chuckles] My sister.
‪Bribe?
‪[in Tswana] You're disrespectful, ‪you know?
‪[relieved sigh] [in English] There's ‪nothing we could have done.
‪They got away.
‪Those bastards, they killed ‪all the hostages.
‪[Tryphina scoffs] They are dangerous.
‪They can shoot! [mimic gunshots]
‪[in Tswana] Don't finish the food. ‪I'm coming. Okay? Bye.
‪We put our lives at risk today!
‪-Aye-aye. ‪-I think we need to go on stress leave.
‪["Nkosi Sikelel' iAfrika" ‪playing on trumpet, offbeat]
‪[upbeat music playing]
‪Hey, hey, hey, hey…
‪[in Tswana] You'll shit.
‪You will shit!
‪[upbeat music playing]
‪[in Zulu] You take me for a shit.
‪[clicks tongue]
‪-[man, in English] All in a day's work. ‪-[loud thud]
‪-[all coughing] ‪-[man chuckles]
‪I'm gonna need your name,
‪I'm gonna need your ID number, ‪I'm gonna need your reason for visit,
‪I'm gonna need the vehicle ‪registration number of your car,
‪and what kind of car it is, of course,
‪the address of your parents.
‪Take out your laptop, um, ‪and all your electronic devices
‪and, of course, the serial number ‪for each of them.
‪An ITC blacklist in case you lose
‪your cell phone inside.
‪I want your belt and I want your buckle.
‪Is this necessary?
‪Someone from the President's office ‪was supposed to meet us here.
‪I'm gonna need ‪three months' bank statements,
‪a water or at least electricity bill ‪from you,
‪um, and, of course, I'm gonna need you
‪to sign this slip on your way out or else ‪I will not release you from this building.
‪My name is Violet Bishop,
‪and I'm here to facilitate ‪the sale of your country.
‪I believe that, unlike many countries,
‪you and your citizens have arrived ‪to this decision early enough.
‪As difficult as it is.
‪Things are bad now.
‪I mean, very bad.
‪You are in good hands.
‪In the decade that I have been ‪in this business,
‪I facilitated many stellar sales.
‪I've sold many African countries
‪to China, and I believe ‪that if we work together,
‪we can package an enticing deal to a...
‪Canada or Norway.
‪They have more money than ‪they even know what to do with.
‪And believe me, I've sold far,
‪far worse.
‪Right.
‪And on our side, we have compiled ‪a list of things that
‪we believe are going to make ‪our country very, very attractive
‪to any potential buyer.
‪-Minister Nkosi, if you care to proceed. ‪-Yes, yes, yes. At your service, sir.
‪That's, um, uh, the Minister of, uh,
‪Trade and Enterprise.
‪-Minister Nkosi. ‪-[Nkosi] Here you go.
‪It's coming. It's coming, sir.
‪[man] ‪With the 2022 World Cup ‪in Qatar having just wrapped,
‪we remember how in 2010,
‪South Africa had the honor ‪of hosting the 19th World Cup.
‪A moment of hope and pride ‪for the country.
‪Did this costly spectacle ‪benefit the nation and it's people?
‪[beeping]
‪We spoke to Alexander September,
‪who was part ‪of the South African National soccer team
‪Bafana Bafana's coaching staff ‪during the World Cup.
‪Every week, we lose.
‪-[player] Yeah. ‪-Bafana Bafana is bewitched.
‪Yeah. If you don't believe me,
‪just watch Bafana Bafana play soccer.
‪Huh? And then you also will start ‪to believe in witchcraft.
‪Huh? Can you name one ‪Bafana Bafana person in team now?
‪You can't. They have nobody.
‪For the life of me, I couldn't name ‪one Bafana Bafana player. Hm.
‪I can even ask you, Uruguay. ‪You'll tell me
‪somebody. I don't even know ‪where Uruguay is,
‪but I know Suarez.
‪We even tried
‪the vuvuzelas.
‪We intended it for the oppositions
‪to get frustrated and irritated, ‪but even that didn't even work.
‪And we spent millions of taxpayers money
‪to buy these vuvuzelas.
‪You can't find one right now. ‪It's maybe in the oceans.
‪-I don't know where they are right now. ‪-‪As the world suspected,
‪South Africa used the vuvuzela
‪as an attempt to cheat.
‪I got fired
‪for even suggesting
‪that Bafana Bafana is actually ‪part of a third force
‪working in the dark shadows, ‪trying to demoralize
‪and destabilize the country.
‪Got fired for that. ‪Can you believe that, huh?
‪-This is unbelievable. ‪-And now I am vindicated.
‪I'm vindicated, you know.
‪How do you explain the electricity crisis?
‪Yoh, load shedding this, load shedding…
‪How do you… How do you explain ‪the petrol price?
‪Where do you think COVID came from?
‪If we don't stop them,
‪the world's gonna end. I'm telling you.
‪Mark my words.
‪[scoffs] That bloke was negative.
‪Painted a gloomy picture.
‪I went to speak to a local ‪restaurant owner,
‪Vincent Moloi.
‪We were told, "Hey, we're ‪gonna be millionaires." Huh?
‪[stammering] And we opened up businesses.
‪The tourists came with their cameras, ‪and they took pictures of the food.
‪-They didn't buy the food, and they left. ‪-[chicken clucking]
‪This was our take on
‪-the runaways. ‪-Oh, wow.
‪-[Vincent] Oh yes. ‪-But why do you call it a runaway?
‪-[Vincent] This is a runaway. ‪-Is that a…
‪Chicken foot? ‪I can totally imagine someone
‪not eating this ghastly culinary horror.
‪[Vincent] For good measure. Extra one.
‪[chuckles]
‪Welcome to South Africa, my friend.
‪-[blender whirring] ‪-Hey.
‪[sighs] I feel like I need [chuckles]
‪a nail clipper to drink this.
‪We seemed to be reaching ‪the end of our road
‪when we got a tip-off about ‪a World Cup success story.
‪-I'm a big fan. A very big fan. ‪-Oh! [chuckles]
‪A hotel intended to not only accommodate ‪all the soccer fans
‪descending on this nation from afar
‪but also to create much-needed jobs.
‪Ah! Refreshments even.
‪-We share that. Cheers. ‪-Yeah.
‪Chairs. [in Zulu] Chairs.
‪[mutters]
‪-[in Zulu] Chairs. ‪-Itu… [chuckles]
‪[in Zulu] Chairs!
‪-[in English] Very nice, yeah. ‪-[laughs]
‪Here we go.
‪Business has been absolutely fantastic. ‪I mean,
‪great, great, great.
‪I mean, the World Cup,
‪it really changed our lives.
‪A hotel staff member shared with us ‪what was shocking, to say the least.
‪Oh! [chuckles]
‪-[stammers] Yeah. In 2009, ‪-Hm-mm?
‪everybody thought they were going ‪to make it big
‪with the World Cup, you know?
‪They thought the tourists are going to ‪come with their dollars and pounds
‪and spend them here.
‪And, um, Uncle here,
‪he quit his job and he put all his efforts
‪into turning this house into a “hotel”. ‪As you can see.
‪And… And he was crushed.
‪Um, it just didn't work out. ‪He failed dismally.
‪You know, something inside of him broke. ‪It really did.
‪We have guests coming ‪from all over the world.
‪From America,
‪Germany, Pakistan.
‪Salvatore Ferragamo,
‪Cavalino…
‪Mr. Brooks,
‪some of my international guests, ‪all the way from Italy.
‪-Italy? ‪-Yeah.
‪[in Italian] Hello. How are you?
‪Luciano Pavarotti,
‪Giorgio Armani.
‪[in English] ‪This woman was just ‪spouting random Italian words.
‪Who are these guests, the staff?
‪Yeah, it's, um…
‪It's us, you know, the family, ‪the wife and children,
‪people from the streets. ‪Anybody we can find, really.
‪Yes, so what we do is just make it look, ‪you know, in the books, like
‪there's business, but it's ‪just his family putting up an act.
‪It's really sad. Yeah.
‪[in Tswana] Thabiso! Thabiso! ‪Smile for the camera.
‪Smile for the camera, Thabiso.
‪[Elias, in English] I've got ‪the best staff in the world.
‪I mean, very well trained,
‪professional,
‪courteous, you name it.
‪Very good with people. ‪Very good with people.
‪Top-notch.
‪Dad, you could have warned me.
‪[sighs] ‪It was disturbing to see the man ‪was far gone in his delusion.
‪We are sharing.
‪-Aha. ‪-You know, we are sharing…
‪I mean, because they work here,
‪-we share the money that we make here. ‪-Yeah.
‪We share the atmosphere. ‪We share the food.
‪-Yeah. ‪-I mean there's sharing.
‪-Room service. ‪-[daughter] Dad, leave me alone.
‪[scoffs]
‪[chuckles] You know.
‪Some of these guests
‪are going through puberty. [laughs]
‪Raboroko brand, uh, will always be a brand
‪that's associated with family.
‪[man] These people are like prisoners
‪in this man's fantasy.
‪Wow.
‪Towards the end of our stay ‪in South Africa,
‪and after numerous attempts,
‪we finally managed to locate ‪the face of the tournament.
‪The 2010 World Cup mascot.
‪My name is Mzakazaka.
‪You can't take a big cooperation like FIFA
‪to court and live to tell the tale.
‪They own my name.
‪They own my likeness.
‪I even tried to take them to court, ‪but you know…
‪Maybe I can do an advert there, you know.
‪I can do an endorsement, something.
‪But no. They said no.
‪You know, because they've got ‪the big lawyers there in the court.
‪To make it even worse, ‪they have another World Cup,
‪these people, do you know? In Brazil.
‪And I called them. I'm like, ‪"Yeah, it's the World Cup again.
‪Can I please come there and I will do ‪the Waka Waka dance for you?"
‪And they said, "No, we've got our own,
‪uh, mascots
‪in Brazil." "But why do you have ‪another mascot in Brazil while I'm here?"
‪Hm. That's brutal.
‪The truth is [stutters] I…
‪I'm now using drugs a little bit, ‪alcohol a little bit.
‪I'm ashamed to say this, but I've turned ‪to doing adult entertainment.
‪[man] ‪We dug a little deeper and found ‪that Zak indeed had a thriving career
‪as a porn star.
‪That gives the word "penalize" ‪a whole new meaning.
‪[Zak] You know, it's a living, man.
‪My dream is to do that thing again, ‪but it'll never happen.
‪You know, I lived my dream ‪for only one month.
‪I was famous for one month.
‪It was terrible, man.
‪-[Zak crying] ‪-You are okay.
‪We loved you in the UK, by the way.
‪In fact, I bought my son
‪a little replica doll of you.
‪[man] ‪Our journey to South Africa ‪has finally come to an end.
‪We met many interesting ‪colorful characters along the way.
‪It seems, however, they are still yet ‪to find a cure
‪for their hangover.
‪My name is Amin Brooks.
‪Signing out. Or as the locals say…
‪[in Zulu] ‪Hello.
‪[in English] ‪Oh, that doesn't mean ‪goodbye. Oh, dear.
‪This is not a very positive story.
‪If you're serious about selling ‪this place, you're gonna need to go--
‪No, no, no. No, no, no, please, uh, ‪Miss Bishop. That was just [chuckles]
‪[stammers] the wrong clip.
‪-Nkosi. ‪-What? Sorry, sorry.
‪Sorry about that.
‪So, Miss Bishop, will you be able ‪to sell this country or not?
‪Well,
‪any buyer will dive deep into everything.
‪Your culture, your principles,
‪your finances.
‪Are you sure that they'll like ‪what they see?
‪Yeah.
‪They will like what they see. ‪I like what I see.
‪But you don't even have electricity.
‪Yeah, but that's only ‪half the time, you see.
‪That's why it's called load shedding.
‪It's like, you know… ‪What do they say? Like…
‪Like the glass. ‪Do you see it half full or half empty?
‪Just to prove my point.
‪[gasps] You see.
‪Half full, half empty.
‪[chuckles] Yeah.
‪Of course, there are concerns ‪about your deep-rooted societal issues.
‪Many of which buyers ‪can resolve, of course.
‪Apart from racism.
‪[stammers] Racism?
‪Yeah… No, no, no, no, no.
‪That thing is not a problem. ‪You know, racism is gone.
‪[somber music playing]
‪Krugersdorp is a nice little town on ‪the West Rand of Jo'burg, in South Africa.
‪It's an old fashion place where
‪old school values are respected
‪and adhered to.
‪[inhales] But the people of this town
‪had no idea
‪of the darkness that was slowly ‪creeping towards them.
‪[indistinct speech]
‪You know, so… so it started…
‪It started with a lot ‪of concerned phone calls.
‪Okay? Parents were concerned.
‪Their children ‪were saying horrible things.
‪Satanic things.
‪I've got it here.
‪They were saying, "‪Roboto,
‪roboto, roboto.‪"
‪[Amapiano music playing]
‪[Venter] This phenomenon, ‪they call it Amapiano,
‪which, I know, sounds scary.
‪Remember when they started ‪saying Amabokke, right?
‪We were all worried.
‪But then it turned out they were just ‪talking about the Springboks.
‪So maybe Amapiano is fine. You know?
‪Uh…
‪It spread. Just spread so fast.
‪You know? We thought it would be with the…
‪-the Blacks, you know, in the townships. ‪-Yeah?
‪Black… Blacks peop…
‪Black people…
‪uh, in the township.
‪But, uh… [sighs]
‪It's just… It's spread ‪everywhere. That beat,
‪it's just…
‪It's contagious.
‪[woman] We have totally banned this ‪piano thing from our school.
‪But to be honest, it did not help
‪with slowing down the spread.
‪And these musical culprits are
‪Small,
‪Kabza,
‪and it's Maba… Mabarizo,
‪Mapangas, or something like that,
‪and then, of course, The Focalists.
‪These are the ones that are influencing ‪our children like this.
‪We must be careful.
‪[du Toit] ‪This is ‪a very difficult situation
‪for Krugersdorp.
‪[in Tswana] ♪ ‪Things have changed‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Things have changed‪ ♪
‪It feels like we are engaged in a battle ‪for the soul of this town itself.
‪[sobbing, indistinct speech]
‪[mother] Why our son?
‪He's a good boy.
‪I just want to know what the government ‪is going to do?
‪And to protect our children from this.
‪Aye!
‪[in Tswana] Ah, what's up with you guys?
‪You're being wack. ‪Mom, what's wrong with you?
‪[Amapiano music playing]
‪[in Afrikaans] Frikkie! ‪What are you doing?
‪-What are you doing? ‪-[in English] I'm sorry, Mom.
‪[in Afrikaans] Your mother loves you. ‪Come here, son.
‪Your mother loves you.
‪[Amapiano music playing]
‪[du Toit] We've been dealing ‪with all those problems,
‪but this is a enemy
‪that we were not prepared for.
‪It's just a beat.
‪There's not even a piano in it.
‪[du Toit] We've been assaulted by forces ‪from outside before.
‪Who remembers Pokemon Go?
‪Who remembers Fidget Spinners?
‪We survived Open View HD.
‪[in Afrikaans] But now, ‪we have a new challenge.
‪A thief that comes at night.
‪And he doesn't come to ‪steal a little whiskey, eggs, and bread.
‪He empties your whole house.
‪This thief is not happy ‪unless he takes everything.
‪The heart and soul of our children.
‪The heart and soul of our town.
‪[in Tswana] Actually, ‪there are some people here
‪[in English]who are using ‪this phenomenon as an…
‪as an excuse, you know.
‪[in Tswana] Their children ‪have been failing.
‪[in English] Now all of a sudden…
‪[in Tswana] Huh? You blame the beat.
‪-They can't read. ‪-Hm.
‪[in Tswana] Look, he hasn't ‪written a statement in four years.
‪-I'm done dictating. [clicks tongue] ‪-Hm.
‪[in Afrikaans, softly] Lord.
‪So, Venter!
‪No, man!
‪[du Toit, in Afrikaans] ‪Release the innocent,
‪young,
‪vulnerable souls
‪from the devil's beat
‪that's taken them over from the inside.
‪We pray this in the name of the Lord.
‪In the name of the Lord!
‪Out! Get out!
‪[in Afrikaans] Did it work?
‪[laid-back music playing]
‪[Amapiano music playing]
‪[in English] And it's catchy.
‪It's bloody catchy, man.
‪[Speaking in tongues]
‪From there from the double
‪Hey, I drink and I dance
‪Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
‪Really, really?
‪[music fades out]
‪[scoffs]
‪[in English] Now, Ms. Bishop,
‪the citizens have voted ‪on the basis that we will be sold
‪to a decent country.
‪We will need this assurance.
‪Yes, please. No shithole countries ‪like Malawi,
‪or, even worse,
‪-Zimbabwe. Imagine. ‪-[man laughing]
‪Actually, I happen to be half Zimbabwean.
‪Oh. [laughs] Yeah.
‪[Zee in English] ‪Like an addict,
‪sometimes, the city does not know ‪what is good for her.
‪But don't worry, my love.
‪I will save you from the scum ‪that is eating you.
‪-[in Xhosa] This is my last money. ‪-Hey!
‪[sighs]
‪[dramatic music playing]
‪[in Zulu] We were just helping the lady.
‪-I was just-- ‪-No, we were just playing shoot, bro.
‪[shouting, screams]
‪Your days of preying ‪on vulnerable people are finished.
‪[lady, in Xhosa] Hey, you!
‪[in Xhosa] You are those foreigners
‪who date South African women ‪for citizenship.
‪[in English] You can't say "foreigner". ‪It's very offensive.
‪-[in Xhosa] Get lost. ‪-[thugs laughing]
‪But I was trying ‪to provide safety for you.
‪-[in Xhosa] Get lost. ‪-[thugs laughing]
‪-[mocks his accent] The safety. ‪-Safety.
‪You are providing safety? [laugh]
‪Safety, safety.
‪Providing safety for you. [laughs]
‪Providing it.
‪[Zee]‪They may mock me all they want, but
‪they need me more than ever.
‪-[in Zulu] Okay, listen. ‪-Hey, hey, hey.
‪[dramatic news jingle]
‪[in English] ‪A popular superhero
‪known to South Africans as Zee
‪has done it again.
‪Saving thousands
‪-from a burning building. ‪-[woman coughing]
‪[sobbing]
‪[sobbing] I think I saw my life flash ‪before my eyes.
‪I thought I was gonna die.
‪Elis Mathebula and Terror Traitor ‪are still up there.
‪Don't worry, madam.
‪Everything is gonna be all right.
‪I promise to go up ‪and bring them back to safety.
‪-Thank you, Zee. You are the greatest. ‪-[sirens wailing]
‪[man coughing]
‪[in Tswana] Wait a minute, boss. ‪Wait a minute.
‪[in English] Where did you say ‪you are from again?
‪-But we don't have time. We don't-- ‪-No, no, no, no, no, my bro.
‪It sounds more like we don't have ‪a work permit here.
‪[stammers] But people are dying ‪up there. There are people left upstairs.
‪Okay, South African people,
‪dying from a South African fire.
‪[in Tswana] Is that not so? ‪[in English] So, we'll call you
‪when there's Zimbabwean fire up there.
‪-[in Pedi] Get lost. ‪-[in English] Mzansi Man
‪could easily have done this.
‪-But he never comes. ‪-[in Xhosa] Damn.
‪[Zee] ‪Mzanzi Man may never come.
‪But I will come to your safety.
‪[woman] That's what's wrong ‪with this country, every time.
‪That's why the Zimbabwean Blacks ‪are better than ours.
‪[in Shona] There is nothing I can do. ‪[in English] I'm gonna drop her.
‪-Drop that bitch, bro. Drop her. ‪-[woman screams]
‪I'm so sorry the President is delaying. ‪He's dealing with an urgent matter.
‪They burned down a hospital ‪in the township.
‪The--
‪They burned down a hospital?
‪Yeah, you know how it is. ‪If we don't like it, we burn it.
‪Why would anybody want to burn down ‪a hospital?
‪It wasn't working properly.
‪I just mean, like, it's lit.
‪You know how they say. [pants]
‪The service is fire.
‪[bright song playing]
‪[woman] It is time our voices were heard.
‪What should we do?
‪[in Zulu] Burn it.
‪[feel-good music playing]
‪[psst-ing]
‪[in English] I haven't finished ‪my homework. What should I do?
‪[in Tswana] Goodness, lady. Burn it. ‪Burn it. Burn it, babes.
‪What?
‪[in Zulu] Burn it.
‪[down tempo music playing]
‪[students shouting and clapping, in Zulu] ‪Burn it, burn it, burn it…
‪[in English] ‪Freedom
‪[in Tswana] Marmite again?
‪And my mother knows ‪I don't like it. [grunts]
‪[in Zulu] Burn it.
‪[in Zulu] Burn it. Burn it, babes.
‪-[in Zulu] Burn it. ‪-[in Zulu] Burn it.
‪[students shouting and clapping, in Zulu] ‪Burn it, burn it, burn it…
‪[in English] They accuse us of burning ‪our own futures.
‪[in English/ Zulu] And to them, ‪I say burn it.
‪[upbeat music playing]
‪[in English] I think it's time
‪they realized
‪that when you strike a born-free,
‪you strike a match.
‪[inaudible]
‪[sobbing] Tshepo is cheating on me.
‪[whimpering]
‪[in Zulu] Burn him.
‪[man screaming]
‪[in Zulu] No, no. Let him burn.
‪[in Zulu] Burn it.
‪[gentle music playing]
‪[baby crying]
‪[coins rattle]
‪[woman, in Afrikaans] ‪Poor Sod,
‪[in English] ‪by Gene Coefficient.
‪[in Xhosa] Please don't panic. ‪[in English] Please, Ms. Bishop.
‪[in English] Mr. President, ‪I can sell a lot of things,
‪-but I can't sell poor Blacks. ‪-Yeah.
‪Listen. Listen.
‪Ms. Bishop, I do understand that ‪we have a few challenges here.
‪I completely, completely understand. ‪But we also have solutions.
‪You know, our people have fought ‪long and hard in this country.
‪You know, ‪a lot of our brothers and sisters
‪have laid down their lives ‪for these hard-fought freedoms.
‪Wait, wait, wait, wait.
‪-That's it. ‪-[president] What?
‪[chuckles] I like that.
‪-Huh? ‪-Hard-fought freedoms. I like that a lot.
‪-Property buyers love a good story. ‪-Yes.
‪I can work with hard-fought freedom.
‪Hard-fought freedom it is.
‪[Nkosi] Yeah, and it's gonna increase ‪the value of our country.
‪-[president] Oh, shut up, Nkosi! ‪-[Nkosi] We have a lot of hard-
‪-of hard-fought stories. Right. Right. ‪-Oh, she's…
‪-Shut up, Nkosi. Nkosi, shut up! ‪-You see, it's a hard-fought journey.
‪-[radio searching signal] ‪-[woman speaking in Afrikaans]
‪[man sighs] Okay, Christo, ‪the mission is simple.
‪[in English/Afrikaans] ‪We take this guy out,
‪we party with him, we get him drunk,
‪and when he's drunk, we get him to sign ‪this whole power-sharing shit.
‪Why does Botha even wanna share ‪power with these clowns? Huh?
‪I don't want him in my car.
‪[in English/Afrikaans] Now, ‪I've got to entertain the Commy-cunt.
‪Okay, you heard what the boss said. ‪We need insurances.
‪What If these guys take over? Huh?
‪They're gonna take the land, ‪they are gonna take our jobs.
‪[in English/Afrikaans] I mean imagine ‪if this idiot becomes President?
‪A Black President?
‪What about a Black ?
‪-Huh? ‪-[both laugh]
‪You're fucking funny, hey?
‪-[man] I'm gonna go get him. ‪-[Christo] I'll get him.
‪-[both laughing] ‪-A Black Springbok?
‪-[in Afrikaans] Hey, you. You. ‪-[Christo sighs]
‪[guard] Wakey, wakey, wakey.
‪[Mandela] Please do not interrupt me.
‪You know very well
‪that my reading
‪is very precious time to me.
‪So, please do not interrupt. ‪I am almost done.
‪Oh, the ending.
‪Beautiful stuff.
‪I did not see that coming.
‪[upbeat boer music playing]
‪-Watch your head. ‪-Yes, sir.
‪-[groans] ‪-[in Afrikaans] There.
‪[sighs]
‪[groans]
‪[in English] Okay, gentlemen.
‪Let us all cut the bullshit.
‪I know
‪what you guys want.
‪And if you guys want me
‪to consider the power-sharing proposal,
‪I've got a few demands.
‪Anything you want, Mr. Mandela. ‪Anything you want.
‪I really love that spirit.
‪That is the spirit of negotiation.
‪[car engine starts]
‪But can we play different music?
‪Uh…
‪Uh… Uh, gentlemen.
‪Uh…
‪These particular clothes
‪are not talking to my soul.
‪Mr. Mandela, we've been here ‪for more than an hour. Just choose
‪something, hey? Anything.
‪This is my vibe.
‪Do you see it?
‪Hm?
‪-[Mandela] This. ‪-But that's my curtain.
‪I'm not debating.
‪I've made up my mind,
‪and, uh, we're going with this.
‪Uh, thank you for letting me drive,
‪uh, this bad boy.
‪Uh…
‪[sighs] Gentlemen.
‪Uh, as they say in the movies,
‪-buckle up. ‪-[shouts]
‪[tires screeching]
‪Guys, we're going backwards!
‪I know we are going fucking backwards, ‪Christo.
‪[Mandela] As you say in Afrikaans, ‪[in Afrikaans] where is the booze?
‪[in Afrikaans] Where are the girls?
‪-[choking] ‪-[in Afrikaans] I want to see the ladies.
‪[in English] Just please go ‪forward and not backwards.
‪What is this? is this a test?
‪Is this like a metaphor? ‪I don't understand.
‪-Please. ‪-I hope you enjoy it
‪because this
‪is liberating to me.
‪You're actually quite good ‪at driving backwards, hey?
‪-[upbeat music playing] ‪-[indistinct chattering]
‪[groans]
‪So this is what you're keeping away ‪from my people.
‪No, Mr. Mandela, this is just ‪a little party in your honor.
‪Just to reaffirm our sincerest ‪commitment to negotiating with you.
‪As I like to call it, an Apartheid-ty.
‪-[laughs] That's a very good joke. ‪-[sighs]
‪[in Afrikaans] Love, love. ‪Mr. Madib-- Mr. Mandela,
‪[in English] uh, ‪this is my wife Chantelle.
‪-[Mandela] Ah! Beautiful. ‪-[in Afrikaans] Wow.
‪-[Mandela] Beautiful. ‪-[Christo] My daughter Bernice.
‪[Mandela] Beautiful, too.
‪Why do you guys look nervous?
‪Have you never partied with ‪a revolutionary before?
‪-Huh? Huh? ‪-[Christo] Uh…
‪[in Afrikaans] Uh, Mr. Mandela, boss. ‪Uh, this is, uh…
‪This is Shadrack.
‪He would just like to say ‪[in Afrikaans] hello, how are you?
‪Madiba. Hi. I look up to you, man.
‪[in Xhosa] It's good. ‪It's nice to meet you.
‪[in English] It's very good to meet you.
‪[in Afrikaans] Look where we are.
‪[in English/slang] Single malt, ‪koeksisters. It's a great outing.
‪[in Xhosa] Young man, young man.
‪[in Xhosa] You know very well.
‪Rubbish. [in Xhosa] You know very well.
‪[in Xhosa] You sold our struggle
‪for a single malt? I see you.
‪[in Xhosa] You're rubbish.
‪You must calm down, man.
‪-[in Xhosa] Go, go, go, go. ‪-[indistinct arguing]
‪[in Xhosa] Go!
‪[in English] Bloody shit.
‪Guys, let us party, hey?
‪Let us party.
‪-[upbeat music playing] ‪-[Mandela groans]
‪-Uh, enjoy it. ‪-Thank you, sir.
‪Yeah.
‪Shadrack, please. Shadrack.
‪[Mandela] Unbelievable.
‪Unbelievable.
‪[upbeat music playing]
‪[in Afrikaans] There.
‪[In English] Hey, man. Just remember.
‪You are doing this for our future.
‪-For the future of our country, okay? ‪-[crying]
‪[in Afrikaans] Come on. ‪Ringing out
‪From our blue heavens
‪From the depth of our seas
‪-‪Over our everlasting mountains ‪-Oh, man.
‪[sobbing]
‪Where the echoing crags resound
‪[in Afrikaans] There. Come on, come on. ‪That's good.
‪[chilled music playing]
‪[Mandela sighs]
‪What a good evening.
‪-That was a very good time. ‪-[sighs] Yeah.
‪-I really enjoyed it. ‪-Hm.
‪-[Mandela] Huh? ‪-So, Mr. Mandela.
‪I trust that we met all of your demands?
‪Now, if you can please look ‪at signing the agreement
‪-about the transition of power ‪-[Mandela] Hold on.
‪-to a system-- ‪-[Mandela] Wait. Wait.
‪You are talking too loud.
‪My head. My head is killing me.
‪I would like to say,
‪if you White people
‪can share
‪like that Bernice
‪and like that Chantelle,
‪then this country
‪has a very bright future.
‪By the way, ‪where is that, uh, boy, Shadrack?
‪[grunts]
‪What a party.
‪What a good time.
‪♪ ‪Thank you, Mr. DJ‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪for playing that song.‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Thank you, thank you‪ ♪
‪Dear Mr. Botha.
‪Nice brandy.
‪Nice marijuana.
‪But, uh, I am going to
‪decline the offer
‪-and not comply. ‪-[echoes] Comply, comply…
‪[groaning]
‪Fuck it, man.
‪That guy is a lot of work.
‪-He fucked my wife, bro. ‪-[both chuckle]
‪["Nkosi Sikelel' iAfrika" playing]
‪[Bishop] Oh yes, it's a beautiful country.
‪Great beaches.
‪A wonderful people with a great history.
‪Oh! Hard-fought freedoms, yes.
‪Yes, majority of the population is Black.
‪Yes, they are also very poor,
‪but very, very friendly.
‪They're always laughing ‪and dancing throughout their hardships.
‪Wait, wait, wait. Maybe you'd feel ‪differently if you came to view it.
‪[sighs]
‪Danish piece of shit hung up on me.
‪Great. So, that's Denmark, Germany, ‪France, Sweden, England, [inhales]
‪Norway, Switzerland, USA, and Canada.
‪-[Bishop sighs] Mr. President, ‪-Yes.
‪unfortunately, ‪there have been very few offers.
‪Far fewer than anticipated.
‪To add to that, ‪none of them have even come
‪close to what you're looking for.
‪Ms. Bishop, fortunately, ‪we are a very religious people.
‪We always take our problems to God ‪in prayer.
‪[stammering] So, if you don't mind, ‪can we all please
‪close our eyes and bow our heads, um,
‪so we can pray?
‪-Uh, Ms. Bishop. ‪-Huh?
‪Please close your eyes as well.
‪Thank you.
‪Oh.
‪[upbeat gospel music playing]
‪[in Zulu] ‪The thighs are open
‪-[congregation singing] ‪-[pastor singing]
‪[pastor singing]
‪[congregation singing]
‪[in English] I will not cum…
‪-[all] I will not cum… ‪-until you cum.
‪[all] until you cum.
‪I will muff.
‪[all] I will muff.
‪I will foreplay.
‪-[all] I will foreplay. ‪-I will pay the rent!
‪[all] I will pay the rent.
‪I will pay for the car.
‪-[all] I will pay for the car. ‪-[cheering, clapping]
‪-But most importantly, ‪-[all] But most importantly,
‪-you will cum. ‪-[all] you will cum.
‪[in Tswana] I will make you cum.
‪-[in Tswana] You will squirt! ‪-[cheering, clapping]
‪[in Tswana] You know the saying,
‪[in English] "He who loves his wife,
‪loves himself."
‪[in Tswana/English] I don't know a person ‪who doesn't like his own flesh.
‪[in Tswana] Just like God.
‪-[in Tswana] ‪This church is his body. ‪-[in Tswana] My people.
‪[in Tswana/English] And I don't understand
‪anybody
‪who can deny themselves flesh,
‪the pleasures, huh?
‪[in Tswana] Sir, ‪I like bums to tell you the truth.
‪-[in Tswana] To tell the truth. ‪-Oh.
‪-[pastor, in Tswana] We love bums! ‪-[all] Amen!
‪[pastor, in Tswana/English] ‪They say you had
‪what they call erectile dysfunction.
‪[in Tswana/English] What happened ‪since you've joined our congregation?
‪[in English] How have things ‪been in your life?
‪[chuckling] Well,
‪things are nice and slippery.
‪[shouting and clapping]
‪[in English] Even though I am debt free…
‪[pastor shouting]
‪[in Tswana] …I extended the house.
‪[shouting and clapping]
‪I finished my matric.
‪I got my driver's license.
‪Ever since I was young,
‪I've always been scared of churches.
‪When they said, "Go to Sunday School," ‪I would refuse.
‪-Take, it's from the pastor. ‪-[woman] Hallelujah.
‪Church used to bore me.
‪The pastor preaching ‪and the singing in church.
‪I didn't want to go to church. ‪I was scared.
‪I would get drunk ‪on Saturday and not wake up on Sunday.
‪When I heard that there was a Church ‪of Orgasm, l said, "Let me check it out."
‪Yoh, it's nice.
‪There isn't ‪a single Sunday that I miss church.
‪When there's an orgasm ‪in church, who's going to refuse?
‪Where have we seen an orgasm?
‪Who knows how to give us an orgasm?
‪They teach us how to give ‪an orgasm in church.
‪Touch and open it.
‪Open the cake.
‪-Open, lick. ‪-[licking]
‪-Take your finger. ‪-[all] Hmm.
‪Put it inside the anus.
‪-[Mbadu, in English] You know, at first, ‪-[in Tswana] Put the finger!
‪um,
‪I was worried because I didn't understand
‪how the worship happens here.
‪You know?
‪Pastor Peter is a very brilliant man.
‪-He told us… ‪-Genius.
‪[in Tswana] You make your woman cum.
‪-What should you do to your wife? ‪-Make her cum.
‪Let's go.
‪[in English] …to be one with our worship.
‪To love and understand our worship.
‪And I'm glad I listened to him. ‪I'm very glad.
‪Because right now,
‪blessings have been raining down
‪on my family and me.
‪-Literally. Yeah? ‪-Yes.
‪I'm seeing blankets.
‪I'm seeing underpants.
‪I'm removing the underwear.
‪[in Zulu] You don't have an erection.
‪[in Tswana] I worship every day.
‪[in English] Every day of every month
‪of every week,
‪[in Tswana] I worship
‪again and again. ‪[in English] All the time.
‪[sensual moaning]
‪[in Tswana] I was worshiping today.
‪[woman] Yoh!
‪[in English] They're currently praying for ‪the grocery shopping we are about to do.
‪Yoh.
‪[in Zulu/English] Prayer is everything.
‪[in English] Even the other day,
‪they prayed for me before ‪I watered the garden.
‪[in Xhosa] Wow.
‪[in Pedi] Listen.
‪[in Pedi] Old as I am,
‪I have never experienced ‪this thing called orgasm.
‪[in Pedi] Today I know it.
‪I went to the Church of Orgasm.
‪I went to that church.
‪They teach us how to have an orgasm.
‪Just imagine.
‪[in English] Before I came to this church,
‪I'd never cum before.
‪Ooh, I was depressed, baby, remember?
‪I was sour, but now,
‪I stand here before you, a new woman.
‪Doreen Mbadu.
‪I've been ploughed from the back
‪I've been ploughed from the front.
‪Anyway,
‪I'm a grinning woman. ‪I'm so grateful, Pastor Peter.
‪-Ooh, you saved our marriage. ‪-Very grateful.
‪♪ ‪I don't know How I'll thank him‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪I don't know how I'll thank him‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪The cakes, how will we thank him‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪We cum because of you‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪The cake‪ ♪
‪[in Tswana] Get an erection, Thabiso.
‪Get an erection, Thabiso.
‪Rise up, penis, and stand.
‪We sell these.
‪[in English] Everything you see ‪here at the church is for sale.
‪The Church of Orgasm understands
‪[in Tswana] that my brothers
‪[in English] can't afford ‪the tools of the Lord.
‪So, we have a partnership.
‪[in Tswana] With Sis Jacobina's ‪sex toy shop.
‪[in English] Never,
‪ever in my life
‪did I think I would have ‪a religious section.
‪But you know what?
‪Business is booming.
‪[in Pedi] Come, my fellow brothers ‪and sisters, and experience,
‪experience the royalty we get ‪at The Church of Orgasm.
‪Go and learn about orgasms.
‪If a person my age has never ‪experienced an orgasm,
‪please come.
‪Experience this before you go to heaven.
‪Come to the Church or horniness.
‪[all] Come to the Church or horniness
‪[in Zulu] say, all of us are horny.
‪-[all, in Zulu] All of us are horny. ‪-[in Zulu] All of us are horny!
‪-[all, in Tswana] All of us are horny! ‪-Hallelujah!
‪[all] Hallelujah!
‪[speaking in tongues]
‪[in Tswana] This is God's penis.
‪[in English] I'm afraid your country ‪is frankly impossible to sell.
‪-I do suggest ‪-[gasps] Huh?
‪that you all try your best ‪to work together and fix it.
‪It was
‪interesting doing business with you.
‪I do wish you all the best ‪with everything.
‪-Yeah? ‪-[inaudible]
‪[inaudible]
‪Oh, and, uh,
‪don't bother with my fee.
‪I suspect you need it more than I do.
‪[man gasps]
‪-The gifts. And the gifts? ‪-Hey!
‪[in English/Tswana] You're forgetting ‪your stuffed animal.
‪Hey, hey!
‪Bishy! Bishop!
‪[vacuum cleaner buzzing]
‪Hey, hey, hey…
‪[in Tswana] Get lost!
‪[clicks tongue]
‪[in Xhosa] Every day and night I'm working ‪here, at the Union Buildings.
‪They don't even appreciate me.
‪This is such a burden.
‪The money they pay me is a joke.
‪I won't be disrespected ‪by them. [clicks tongue, mutters]
‪Yoh!
‪My back gets sore ‪from working in this place.
‪[woman crying] [in English] No, no, no. ‪You calm down.
‪No, I will not. You just listen. Shh. ‪Listen to me.
‪I actually can't believe all these years,
‪you were the one [sobbing]
‪And I was the one.
‪And I just can't believe it.
‪Even after all the things…
‪I even did that special thing for you.
‪And then you still go and do this to me.
‪[sobbing]
‪[birds squawking, dogs barking]
‪[laughs mockingly]
‪-Tell us. Tell us. ‪-Tell us.
‪Oh, today, shame, I've seen shit.
‪[all] Tell us. Tell us.
‪Well, you know my madam is quite stuck up
‪[sighs] with a husband ‪that jet sets galore.
‪Well, she found a thong that's not hers.
‪What a stuff-up. From some, uh,
‪-man-stealing lace-wearing whore. ‪-[in Xhosa] No.
‪But that's just a Tuesday in this streets.
‪[in English] Well, you know, my madam ‪is all about dramas on dramas.
‪Well, she says ‪she needs to go clear her head.
‪In the Bahamas.
‪-[all chuckle] ‪-Oh!
‪Must be nice.
‪[all] Must be nice. [chuckles]
‪[feel-good song playing]
‪Must be nice, must be nice
‪♪ ‪Flying first class away from your pain‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪When I can't even cry on a train‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Cause they've all gone on strike ‪once again‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Must be nice, must be nice‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Heartbroken on an isle of big dicks‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪When I caught my man Vusi ‪Getting some side coochie‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪I went home to cry in the sticks‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Must be nice, must be nice to not wash‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Your own underwear‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪That costs more than I make ‪I mean, for goodness sake‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪And the stains, yerr!‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪What's happening there?‪ ♪
‪[musical theatre music playing] ‪You just snap your fingers
‪Seven people appear ‪And do whatever you please
‪♪ ‪But my time, when I take it‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪To get affidavits, you take it‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪From my annual leave‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Lazy, lazy‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Can't find good help now-a-daysy‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Mother to Mama, ‪please save me the drama ‪♪
‪♪ ‪Your job's not that hard. Am I crazy?‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪I've worked hard and worked out‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪And I shot for the moon‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪I know struggle ‪but I earned my tender tycoon‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪And to stay living lavish ‪I protect my marriage‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪From home-wrecking sluts‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Put it down like a savage‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Not Instagram bitches‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Stay out of our riches‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪I add some spice‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Like Limpopo witches I paid the price‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Sacrifice for these inches‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪As Gucci is my witness‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪I've handled my business‪ ♪
‪[whistles]
‪♪ ‪And got these fake tit-ses‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪When you're not around‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪I make smoothies with mango‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Just to feel as nice‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Slip into your gown ‪and catch up on Muvhango‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Living my best life‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪I tell the girls come over‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Over‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Stokvel on your sofa‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Stokvel on your sofa, bitch‪ ♪
‪[in Xhosa ]♪ ‪Chillax ‪by the pool while we deal with things‪ ♪
‪[in Zulu] ♪ ‪coz you owe us‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Over and over‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Honestly‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪These are the things I deserve‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪My steam bread ‪with your leftover Veuve ‪♪
‪♪ ‪A night out with ‪your diamonds and pearls ‪♪
‪♪ ‪Must be nice‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪For a girl‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Be careful what you wish for, ‪you girls ‪♪
‪♪ ‪I've had my share ‪of this rich wicked world‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪It's not that nice‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Think twice‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Miss Goldberg was employer of mine‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Until she paid me more ‪for more than my time‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪I got lost inside ‪those billionaire thighs ‪♪
‪♪ ‪What a ride‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪I was her side‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪One, two, three, I'm being dressed up‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Whips and things, ‪man, it was messed up ‪♪
‪♪ ‪A Zulu man eats meat but guess what?‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Not that kind‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪It's not nice‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Nice, nice, nice, nice‪ ♪
‪-♪ ‪Nice‪ ♪ ‪-♪ ‪Must be nice
‪♪ ‪Won't play nice with ‪her always abusing me ‪♪
‪♪ ‪I'll use her for ‪as long as she's using me ‪♪
‪♪ ‪Lazy, lazy‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Constant request for half-daysies‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪I've been scheming ‪the greatest deception ‪♪
‪♪ ‪Inspired by the plot of Inception‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪All you do is ruin ‪clothes and my Netflix ‪♪
‪♪ ‪Algorithm a mess, I can't fix it‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Planted clues, but you never knew it‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Made you think ‪your tycoon really blew it ‪♪
‪♪ ‪I can't leave but ‪I need to get far from here‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪I was made full on a diet of gardener‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Finally, everything's gone to plan‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪I get the honeymoon I never had‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪And the poor ‪think this life is a cruise ‪♪
‪♪ ‪Must be so nice ‪to have nothing to lose ‪♪
‪[clock ticking]
‪-♪ ‪I live my fantasy‪ ♪ ‪-♪ ‪My harsh reality‪ ♪
‪-♪ ‪Me and my man Vusi‪ ♪ ‪-♪ ‪My marriage‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪in tragedy‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Away from side vag we'll be‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪I lost count of calories‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪A taste of life I worked ‪so hard to have, you see‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪If I could get away from this pain‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪I'll live happily‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Must be nice, must be nice‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪To have three ‪types of rice at that price ‪♪
‪♪ ‪Must be nice, must be nice‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪To have a taste of their life‪ ♪
‪-♪ ‪Must be nice, must be nice‪ ♪ ‪-♪ ‪Lazy, Lazy‪ ♪
‪-♪ ‪To have three types of rice‪ ♪ ‪-♪ ‪Can’t trap their own‪ ♪
‪-♪ ‪at that price‪ ♪ ‪-♪ ‪men now-a-days-ey‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Must be nice, must be nice‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪To have a taste of their life‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪Must be nice‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪I lived this nice life‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪At least once‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪In my life‪ ♪
‪[vacuum cleaner buzzing]
‪Ah! I said
‪nobody leaves the building ‪unless your slip is signed.
‪Go back.
‪Back to jail. Directly to jail.
‪Do not pass begin.
‪Do not stop on your way for anything else.
‪Take two for talking.
‪[sighs] Sign the slip.
‪-The only option is that… ‪-It wouldn't make a difference.
‪−[indistinct chattering] ‪−[in Tswana] We're not here for that
‪Sorry. Hello, hello. Silence! Silence!
‪One at a time, please.
‪Uh…
‪Since we are taking bids from
‪private individuals, [in Tswana] you see,
‪[in English] maybe we should consider ‪approaching successful South Africans.
‪Like the world's richest man
‪is from Pretoria.
‪-Elon… ‪-Elon Musk.
‪How electrifying.
‪-[shrieks] ‪-Well done, Nkosi!
‪-Yes, yes. ‪-[Nkosi mutters]
‪-I think we must go for that one. Yeah. ‪-Yeah.
‪-Yeah. [stammers] What do you think? ‪-[muttering]
‪-[woman] Yeah. Huh? ‪-[man] Yeah.
‪[gentle music playing]
‪[indistinct chattering]
‪[woman] He flew here on his private plane ‪and he's been divorced five times now.
‪[woman 2] Well, I wouldn't mind being ‪number six, if you know what I mean.
‪-Shh! ‪-[inhales]
‪-[woman sighs] ‪-Wow, Elon.
‪Time's been good to you. Looking great.
‪Ladies, so good of us to reconnect.
‪I've been off planet.
‪-Oh, wow. ‪-Hi, Elon.
‪Let me guess. Old Frikkie's wife, Elsa.
‪-Yes. ‪-I hardly recognized you.
‪Well, I suppose some of us had choices.
‪They can choose a mediocre life ‪and an oafish husband
‪and genetically inferior kids. [chuckles]
‪Oh, this is… This is Algo Sarah.
‪She is, uh… She has perfect
‪personality attributes and she is ‪physically 100% symmetrical.
‪-Wow. ‪-She's stunning.
‪-Gorgeous. ‪-[man] Isn't that what's his name?
‪-Lannie. ‪-[in Afrikaans] It's shit pants.
‪-Shit pants! ‪-Shit pants!
‪-[in Afrikaans] Lord! ‪-Get over here!
‪-[in English] Come, china. ‪-Hey [laughing]
‪Adolescent rough housing. [chuckles]
‪I get it.
‪I see you guys have all grown up.
‪Look at you. Looking all sweet ‪in your nice suit.
‪with a ‪lekker‪ cherry on your arm.
‪Oh yes, this is Algo Sarah.
‪She's a 100% AI sentient being.
‪-[sighs] ‪-Come. Let's go get a drink.
‪-[in Afrikaans] Yes, great. Let's do it. ‪-Let's go. Let's go.
‪[in English] Come with us.
‪Where's that waiter?
‪Fuck, man, you look familiar.
‪What did you say your name was again?
‪I'm Elon Musk, ‪the richest man in the world.
‪-Huh-uh. ‪-[in Afrikaans] That's shit pants, man.
‪-[in Afrikaans] Shit pants. ‪-[in Afrikaans] Oh, fuck. Shit pants, yes.
‪[in English] Do you remember how ‪shit scared you always were of everything?
‪Do you remember that time ‪when we stripped you naked
‪and locked you inside the broom closet ‪for the whole day?
‪I think he stuck the broom handle ‪up his naught.
‪How could I forget, guys? ‪How could I forget?
‪Sarah, your skin is amazing.
‪Who does your Botox?
‪I was created like this.
‪Wow.
‪They do say you're born with it.
‪You know, honestly,
‪I think it would be quite tough
‪being married to Elon. You know, like,
‪all the ex-wives
‪and the kids and that
‪space travel. Like…
‪He programmed me to be ‪understanding of commitments.
‪[in Afrikaans] Yeah, Frikkie's programmed ‪me to deal with his shit as well.
‪[in English] So, what are you doing ‪with yourself lately, mister fancy suit?
‪Well, I've revolutionized ‪electric vehicles.
‪-And I'm also-- ‪-[funny sound]
‪-You're a mechanic, hey? ‪-What do you drive now, bro?
‪[Elon] Well, I've actually got a concept.
‪A self-driven vehicle that gets me around.
‪Yeah, you have always been, uh,
‪otherwise inclined, hey. [laughs]
‪So, if I need a new battery ‪for my pick-up, you would--
‪Guys, guys, guys.
‪We can talk shop later.
‪But right now, since we're wearing a suit ‪that looks like a eiderdown, seriously,
‪[all, in Afrikaans] ‪We're calling on ‪Shit pants to down us a drink
‪Down us a drink
‪We're calling on ‪Shit pants to down us a drink
‪Down us a drink
‪[cheering in Afrikaans] Shit pants… Yeah!
‪[in Afrikaans] That's it.
‪-[men laugh] ‪-[in Afrikaans] Shit pants.
‪[in English] Oh, thanks.
‪[Elon] I wanna extend
‪-an olive branch. ‪-I don't even eat olives, dude.
‪Now, I've been working, ‪with interplanetary
‪-space travel ‪-Hm-mm.
‪and I'd like to offer you the opportunity,
‪my friends and classmates and bullies…
‪I've got a question.
‪[sucks teeth] Uh, what happens
‪[in Afrikaans] when you shit your pants ‪in space?
‪[all laugh]
‪[in English] Elon, Elon, there's just ‪one more thing that I wanted to ask you.
‪Just one more thing and that is, uh…
‪-Wedgie! ‪-[screams]
‪[all laugh]
‪[gentle song playing]
‪[indistinct chattering]
‪[battery dying sounds]
‪Sarah?
‪[warped sounds]
‪Sarah, are you… Are you okay?
‪I will save you, Elon.
‪[battery beeping] Self-destruct.
‪In five,
‪four, three, two…
‪[explosion]
‪[upbeat music playing]
‪[in Tswana] Read. [laughs]
‪Hey, man, pull yourself together. ‪We are doing this for the future of us
‪and for the future of our country.
‪[in Afrikaans] Oh no, man.
‪-[in English] I can't. I'm sorry. ‪-[laughter]
‪Cut… guys.
‪You see, Bafana Bafana
‪is the Bafana Bafana of soccer.
‪I'm gonna tell Ramaphosa ‪you're taking Granny's money.
‪No, Mama, let me finish ‪doing this right now, Mama.
‪Please, mama, please.
‪Yeah, baby corn, baby corn. ‪It's very nice.
‪Corn on the cock. [laughs]
‪We won't put that one in there.
‪-Sorry. ‪-[laughter]
‪No, I have chosen.
‪I've chosen. This is the one.
‪♪ ‪This the one, this is the one‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪This is the one‪ ♪
‪♪ ‪This is the one, this is the one‪ ♪
‪Okay. Guys, I've asked this nicely
‪three times. Is the connection bad?
‪It is not. I can hear you.
‪Oh.
‪Yeah, I can hear you now. Can you hear me?
‪We also have other beautiful places ‪in Pretoria.
‪[in Tswana] Like Garankuwa. ‪You know, Garankuwa on the west side.
‪[in English] When you get into Garankuwa, ‪the first thing you see
‪is university, hospital,
‪university, and a speed hump.
‪And there's beautiful people there.
‪-Like proper people. Like… ‪-Oh. Shut up!
‪Hey?
‪That Garankuwa is a piece of shit.
‪Yeah. [chuckles]
‪Merlot, I mean…
‪[cop] ‪That thing. No, no. ‪The acidity in that thing cannot touch
‪No, no. My sister, get out of the car.
‪Do you have no shame?
‪Subtitle translation by: Sulet Bosman