[AMC-Collective]
[MUSIC]
[BLANK_AUDIO]
[NOISE]
[BLANK_AUDIO]
Morning.
I just need.
[BLANK_AUDIO]
Wow.
[BLANK_AUDIO]
I got stuck in a vortex
of music making last night.
So I have four hours.
[BLANK_AUDIO] Dude, gotta stop doing that.
It's really bad for your health.
I do sleep.
It was fine.
[BLANK_AUDIO]
Fine.
[BLANK_AUDIO]
Come on.
[BLANK_AUDIO]
Bologna.
[BLANK_AUDIO]
I can tell you fucking smothered that.
[BLANK_AUDIO] You're judging my
emotional state by my jam volume.
You're really fine?
Um, no, I'm not fine.
Like, come on, I'm going
home for my dad's birthday.
I haven't gone back and it's probably
been close to four years.
Jeez.
I know.
Oh, bold.
That's a bold move.
Is it?
Yeah, it is.
I mean, you can walk in there, it's gonna
be pretty provocative.
It's like, why do they, I don't know why
they even want me to go.
I know I'm just nothing
but a fucking disappointment.
So it's, I don't...
[BLANK_AUDIO] I'm just a
disappointment to them, you know.
[BLANK_AUDIO]
Remember, you can just turn around and
get on the train and come back here.
Yeah.
Look, fuck it. Just stay.
We'll watch movies this weekend.
That sounds nice.
I have to.
What's frustrating for me is
like, cool, they accept this.
But do they?
Like, I don't know
what they actually think.
I don't know what they
actually say to their friends.
And if anything, they use it against me.
Like, they deserve some gold star because
they accept my existence.
Right, because they're so progressive.
Right.
Oh, fuck.
And...
[BLANK_AUDIO]
So it's as if I like owe
them so much or something.
What's the worst that can happen?
I don't know.
I don't really want to...
[BLANK_AUDIO]
[MUSIC]
[SIRENS]
[BLANK_AUDIO]
Okay.
Be safe.
You know how I worry.
Thanks, Mom.
[BLANK_AUDIO] You want a power bar? It's vegan.
Thank you.
[BLANK_AUDIO]
[SIRENS]
[BLANK_AUDIO]
[SIRENS] [BLANK_AUDIO]
[BLANK_AUDIO]
[BLANK_AUDIO] [BLANK_AUDIO]
[BLANK_AUDIO]
[BLANK_AUDIO] [BLANK_AUDIO]
[BLANK_AUDIO]
Train ride is what?
The train ride it?
It's good.
Good.
So I took the boys to the park yesterday.
Henry comes up to me and
he goes, I saw a moose.
And like you saw moose.
Okay, take me to see the moose.
We get over there and it's
a little dog named moose.
Oh my God.
[BLANK_AUDIO]
Hey.
[BLANK_AUDIO]
Oh yeah, we did okay.
But you know, I really missed you.
[BLANK_AUDIO]
I missed you too.
Yeah?
Yeah.
[BLANK_AUDIO]
Seemed like you have
something in your mind.
No, I'm fine.
I'm good.
Can I know you?
You can tell me what's wrong.
No, I'm fine.
I just...
[BLANK_AUDIO]
I'm fine.
I just...
[BLANK_AUDIO] I saw a very old friend.
You saw him, you know,
when you picked me up.
I was standing with that guy, Sam.
[BLANK_AUDIO]
And I hadn't seen him since high school.
And it was just really intense, really.
I don't know.
I knew him really well back then.
And I don't know.
I just...
I just affected him enough.
Yeah.
Do you want to talk about it?
No.
I don't know if there's
anything to say really.
It's just...
I don't know.
I have to get...
I have to get ready soon.
Okay, I like...
Okay.
I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go do that.
Okay.
Okay. [BLANK_AUDIO] [BLANK_AUDIO]
[BLANK_AUDIO]
[chatter]
Don't ask.
Oh my gosh, we made it.
Oh, we're so happy. I'm just so worried.
Maybe we can change.
No, good. Good, good. Come in, come in.
I'm good, aren't you?
You should have called. I
could have come to the station.
No, I liked you up. I like to walk.
I know, I know, but
it's nice to meet you.
I just thought you moved my legs.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh my God, this is so nice. Come in.
Come on in, come on in. Okay, everybody.
[cheering]
[laughter]
Oh.
So nice.
Can I get you a drink?
Sure, yeah.
You want to have wine, maybe?
Yeah, sure. Thank you.
Hi.
Hi, you made it. I'm so glad.
Hi.
Oh my God, you smell so good.
You did so much. Wow.
Hey, hey.
How about you, Ken?
Hey, Stephen.
Good, good.
I heard so much about you from Ken.
Here comes the town.
I can't believe you
haven't met. That's wild.
I know.
Hey, let's do a whole family.
Oh, like I'll take it? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're doing pictures
now? We might as well.
Let's do it now before we all start
getting tired of it.
And then suddenly there's no pictures.
Yeah, move my parents around.
So you kids get in and
we're going to squeeze them in.
Oh, you get in. Should we all get in?
You got to do it.
Okay.
Oh my God, we're
going to settle together.
My spot is bigger than it used to be.
It's all right.
Three, two, one.
Okay, one more.
One.
And one.
Get one like this for social media.
Big splash.
You're going to need real quick.
Here's how he ingriciates himself.
Should we eat presents?
But great. Yes, great.
Well, it's never saying.
Yeah, we'll get presents.
Yeah, yeah. Oh, gifts.
Oh, look, Sam got something too, sweetie.
Oh, great.
Start with Sam's first. Sam?
Start with Sam's. Mine first.
Yeah, sure. The little
things are all just little things.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
There's a card in
there. This is fantastic.
Thank you, Sam. Nice.
They're just little things. I said
they're just little things.
Oh, okay. So I know that it's a bit of a
cliche that kids just
get their dads' ties.
Oh, that is new. I
actually need a new tie,
and this is beautiful, and it's going to
go with the shirt
that we bought last week.
Yes, it's perfect. Well, it
did remind me of that suit.
That's my favorite
suit. That's exactly right.
That is perfect. That is lovely.
Thank you very much, Sam. This is great.
That is a great gift.
Yeah, it is. All right, who's next?
I'm opening up the
big blue one. This one?
Yeah. This one?
Yeah, that's her last one.
Should I read this out loud?
Yeah, you can if you
want to, yeah. You're a pop.
Happy birthday. Hope you have
a wonderful rest of the day.
I love you so much. Stay hydrated.
Stay hydrated? Yes.
Help. See you.
Love, man. Here you go. Cheers. Cheers.
And then from Paul, "Now you
really are my old man in law."
Bit of a double entendre there. My old
man's an old man. Not yet.
Oh, okay. Oh, okay.
Paul, this is a... Holy
shit, that's super nice.
What is it?
This is a very, very, very nice watch.
It's almost too nice to wear.
It's a small topic of my
appreciation, Jimmy Paul.
Paul, this is... Why?
It's a watch. It's a very...
It's fine. It's just a watch.
It's more than just a watch. Thank you.
Thank you. It's nothing. Yeah, I know.
Thank you very much. That's... He knew
you needed a new watch.
Well, I needed a new watch. He's just
gonna go and get rid of the casseroles.
Oh, let me help. What can
I do? What can I help with?
You know what? I'm gonna
finish cutting up the mushrooms,
and I'm gonna do the potatoes, and...
Boy, this is really special.
How are you doing, Mom?
How have you been feeling?
Oh, same old, same old, but... Yeah.
You know, it's been a good year for us.
So, you know, I did want to say that if
you need anything...
I don't know what your, you know, how...
You know, what your kind of, you know,
salary range is, or what your...
But I want you to know that you can come
to Dad and I for, you
know, anything if you need it.
I'm really okay. Okay,
but I just wanted you...
Mom, no, Mom. Sure, please don't.
I don't want to... I
don't... No, no, I didn't mean it.
I just meant it as...
No, I know how you mean it.
I know, I know. If it's something that
could help, that was all.
That was all I would say. Yes.
So, how's everything going in this city?
How are you liking it?
Um, really liking it, actually. Really?
Yeah, yeah. I love this new red...
I told you this room I'm
renting. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm really liking that.
Living in a room? Like, it's okay.
It's normal, I get to... I mean, she's my
friend, I live in the house.
Okay, and you can use
the kitchen and everything.
Yeah, sure. I never had you with a little
hot plate in your room
or anything like that.
No. No, don't have one of those.
Good. So that's been really good.
I really do like work. I'm learning a
lot, you know, it's still new.
I really love the people I work with.
Are you meeting people? Do you meet
people in this city?
Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah?
Especially other queer and trans people,
so that's been really... Yeah.
So it feels happy? Do
you feel happy at work?
Yeah, I mean, I feel like in so many ways
I am for the first time.
And just waking up and feeling like
you're a person that can function.
So that's how I'm feeling,
and it feels really good.
So good. I just want to make sure that
you're finding real happiness.
No, Mom, you don't have
to worry, okay? Okay. Okay.
You worry too much. It's
bad for your health. I know.
Just showing your
trust, not your anxiety.
Let's breathe together.
Okay. Okay.
I'm gonna do the asparagus. Okay. Is there anything else? No, I'm not. Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm gonna do the asparagus. Okay. Is
there anything else?
There is none. I'm good. Okay.
Hi. Hey, what's going on?
Anything all right in here?
Yeah, good. Really good.
You're going to need help?
No, no. Fine. I'm good. Yeah?
Just having a little,
you know, chat. Okay.
Yeah, I didn't even...
Dad, did you find your wine?
No, we don't know where it is. I thought
I had it. I thought it was in the car.
It's not in the car.
I'm sure it was just in the van. Yeah,
well, if you could
find it, that'd be great.
Okay. Okay. Let me look
where that wine has gone.
Uh...
So...
How you doing?
Pretty good. How are you doing?
Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.
Just feels...
I mean, you know...
No, I don't. What do you mean?
You don't feel like a...
unsettled thing?
Like, just waiting, like, with everybody, or what?
Yeah.
I think it's our family being our family.
Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, yeah, I guess.
Not that you really know.
You sort of took off. You've been gone.
Yeah, I've been living in Toronto and
haven't been back. I mean,
I've seen, I don't know...
I don't know why it's
really any of your business.
Look, I don't want to be
in... I barely know you.
Yeah. I'm not trying to... It's just
there's a lot of unspoken
things, and it's not my style.
To just kind of
like... No, it's not, is it?
Yeah. You're just really radically honest
and vulnerable all the time?
Well, I can just feel like people are
being polite, and it's uncomfortable.
What do you mean?
Come on. I'm obviously
not your favorite here.
So, I don't know why
you even give a fuck.
Well... because I love Meg.
Do you?
Yeah, I do. Yeah, I don't know, no.
And because when you love
people, you show up for them.
Yeah, it doesn't sound like you're
showing up for her, actually.
What the fuck does that mean?
Is this it? Was it this one?
That's the one. Oh, shit. Oh, good.
Why don't you just open
that open? Yeah, all right.
Okay, great. You guys
having a little cat chat?
Yeah. Yeah, good. Good, good. Paul?
Yeah?
The watch was too much. Please.
It was too much. I'm not kidding.
It was very nice, a
lovely gesture. Too much.
All right, I won't do anything for the
next three birthdays.
Okay, good. Okay. Deal. Okay.
Except for mine. Mine's coming up.
Well, yes. Yeah.
Yes, except for Sam's. I want a Rolex.
Exactly. Get her a nice big watch.
Him. Hurry him.
No, no, it's okay. No, Mom, stop.
Stop. No, see, this is--
You just got--we can just--I'm only
saying it to be helpful.
Yes, yes, yes. I
just--I'm just upset at myself
because I worked so hard.
I know you worked so hard.
It's okay. It's okay. Okay.
It's okay. Okay, thank you.
It's all right. Thank you.
It's okay. Thank you.
Oh, my gosh.
Are you okay?
I just missed you.
That's all I just missed.
But when I see you here, it
just makes me miss you more.
[sighs]
Hey. Hey.
What are you doing?
Hanging out in our old digs.
Yeah, what the--what do
they even use this for?
Um, I don't know who
sleeps there. Probably dad.
How's it going? Oh, it's going all right.
Yeah. You can be real with me.
I'd actually prefer that.
I just want to understand
a little more than I do.
That's all. Okay.
So I--
I've just--
I've just needed--I've needed some space.
Like, it's not-- Okay.
I know that probably seems really--
Space from the family. Yeah.
Space from the family. I
mean, space from, like,
just away from this town, you know?
Hmm. Are you happy?
Like, does that space make you happy?
Yeah. Yeah? That's enough?
Being where you are, what you're doing.
I mean, like, your job.
Like, what is enough? I don't know.
Is everything enough for
you? Yeah, I have enough.
I have enough. Oh, yeah? Okay.
I have my kids, and I have
a great partner, you know?
And I've built this life that you have
the opportunity to have and more.
You had that. You had
all of this potential.
And I'm here with mom and dad, and they
worry about you all the time.
Well, I don't-- A,
nobody's asking you to do that.
I'm not asking you to do that. I know you're asking me to do that.
I'm asking people to
not feel worried about me.
It makes me feel like a
fucking child and so infantilized.
We can't help it. You
have no security right now.
You have no security.
You're living in a room in Trump.
Like, I-- I--
Hey.
I guess I just feel like...
you weren't worrying about me
when I was actually not okay.
So here I am going, "I feel good.
I'm feeling
passionate. I'm living my life.
I'm..."
And when I was the most
unwell, nobody fucking worried.
I suppose I wish that
you had talked to me more.
I wish, um...
when I was-- you shared a fucking
bedroom, and I didn't know you.
I didn't actually know you.
Oh, Bunny.
Bunny, don't cry.
But you gotta know that that's why it's
been hard to come home.
It's hard to come home to
a place where you just...
didn't feel seen and you're just really
trying to feel seen.
Do you want to hug? I don't want to hug
you if you don't want to be hugged.
I don't want you to hug
me just because I'm crying.
I know you're, like,
upset at me and I don't--
I--I am not hugging because I love you.
I wish I could go back.
I do.
Oh, look at you. Hey.
Here, have fun. Oh, good.
I didn't mean to interrupt. It's okay.
Sorry. Everything okay?
Yeah, look, we're just catching up. Yeah.
Oh, I was just wondering
where you were and you're up here.
This was our old room. Okay, very nice.
Well, it looked a lot like
it. Yeah, I was like, "Yeah."
Very serious kids. You can't believe they
made us share a room
when it was a giant
house. This house is gigantic.
So dumb. But I heard--
But we really connected in here. Yeah.
Okay, I'm interrupting. That was a joke.
What? That was a joke.
What was it? We just talked about how we
lived in the same room
and we didn't really know each other.
Okay. Oh, shit.
Shit, okay, I will-- Didn't break.
Didn't break, okay. I'll be right back.
I'm gonna clean it up and-- No, no.
It's fine. It's fine.
It seems so sweet.
Hey. Thanks.
I don't have the first impression I
wanted to make with a brother,
but here we go.
Thank you. No problem.
It is really nice to meet you and erase
this from your memories.
No, I like it. It's from last
time. It's really memorable.
Good story, right? More wine.
Thank you. And, hey, super excited.
Yeah, you too.
Are you seeing anybody? No.
Do you want to? Not really.
No? No, I'm like, single.
Okay. That's fine.
I thought I was gonna be
single after I divorced.
And then I met that guy.
I was like-- You came at the right time?
No, I was like, "I'm
gonna do one-night stands.
It's gonna be awesome."
It was like the second date I went off.
I killed that dream of mine.
I feel like that's how
it always happens, right?
That's it. So you
just got to not want it?
Yeah, maybe that's the trick. Oh, okay.
I just like being really
sweaty right now. It's fun.
Yeah, it's really fun. That's so fun.
Yeah, it's really fun. Can I ask you,
do you have sex with
men or women? Or both?
Both. You do?
Mm-hmm. At the same time?
No, but I would like to try that. Yeah?
Yeah. Are you and
Steven not having a surgery?
We talk about it. Yeah.
Like-- The communication is good.
Mm. Why, you want a piece of that?
No.
Oh, my God, I missed you. You.
(soft music)
Stop.
(soft music)
Shall I walk?
Yeah.
(soft music) (soft music)
Oh, hey.
Hey.
Hey, are you okay?
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
I was just, um.
(sighs)
Yeah.
No, I'm not crying.
I was just, I'm just
tired, just having a,
no, I'm good, I'm
good, I'm good, I'm good.
(sighs)
I just, I just still think
of you as my little girl.
I keep calling you her.
And I, it's all her.
Oh, it just gets me every time.
I just can't,
it's okay.
I just want you to be happy.
And then I go and do that all the time.
And I think of all people, your mother,
and I just look at you and.
I feel very supportive of you, okay?
Okay.
I mean, you've known
me for a little while.
(laughs)
I met you at a
I look at you
starting your life like this,
and I think how brave you are.
How goddamn brave you are.
My brave boy, you're my brave boy.
And I'm so proud of you.
Living who you really are.
I'd say your kids will
teach you about life,
and mine has.
I'm a lucky mother.
I'm lucky too, Mom.
I'm really lucky too.
Oh my gosh.
Whoa.
Okay.
Hey Dad.
Hey buddy, come on in.
I am just answering an
email pushing me out.
Happy birthday, so I'm
saying thank you very much.
How you feeling?
I feel old.
How are you feeling?
I guess I don't know.
Something just feels like.
I've seen.
Like a.
It's a pleasure.
What is it?
What's up?
I don't know.
I guess it's, it's, it's, I.
Yeah, I wasn't, I just,
I guess I wasn't so sure.
You're always welcome here, buddy.
How's work?
Work's good.
Yeah.
Yeah, I really like it.
Oh good.
Yeah.
It's really fun and cool people.
Yeah.
You seen anybody?
No I'm not, but I
don't really want to, so.
Not right now.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
It's a very odd feeling
when you get to be my age.
You see your kids in front of you
and they're all grown up.
They've all launched.
They've all gone.
And I was really worried
that you weren't gonna launch.
I guess that's what you're feeling.
I don't know.
You were so sad.
And the last thing a parent
wants is for the kid to be sad.
I mean, you'll figure,
you'll have a family someday
and you'll, it's the
worst feeling in the world.
And you know there's
nothing you can do about it.
And you're just, you're
just watching your kid
every single day get
sadder and sadder and sadder
and I keep stopping them
and making them do nothing.
I thought that you maybe
always resented me for that.
For the times when I
know that I didn't live up
to certain expectations.
It was just that I felt helpless.
When you left home,
then I was really scared.
Cause at least when you were here,
I grabbed my eye on you.
You know, it's like
at least he's depressed
but he's here at home.
If he does something, I
can get him to the hospital.
I can call the cops.
I can pick him up.
I can put him in a bathtub.
I can do something.
I can stick my fingers down his throat.
I don't know.
And then you left and
I don't resent that.
I get it.
But I have never been
more scared in my life.
And when you finally called,
and you said I was so happy,
it was probably one of the
happiest moments of my life.
And the more you talked
and the more you assured
me, you said, I'm okay.
I'm okay and I've got a
place and I've got a job
and I met some people.
And then you got to the
big news and you said,
and I'm going through this.
And I didn't even hear it at the time.
And I know that's hard to
believe maybe, I don't know.
But like I said, you're gonna
have kids one day of your own
and you're gonna go through all of the
same fucking worship
that I did.
And the most you can hope
for is that all your kids
come out the other end like you did.
Hey, come here.
Come here.
I'm proud of you.
So proud of you.
It's a beautiful day at the beach.
Let's just go for a nice swim.
(laughing)
It's like cold water.
Yeah.
What is it like,
what's it called like polar?
I don't know if you want to
keep on getting the water.
Oh, polar dip, polar swim.
Yeah, no thanks.
I wish I was cold indeed, but polar dip.
I wish I was cool and hard in the pun.
But.
No, I'm a bit of a
wimp, I think actually.
Yeah, I try to act like I'm not,
but secretly, secretly I am.
I think that's good.
Yeah.
(laughing)
I really like it about the hat.
It's nice.
Thank you.
Yeah, it's kind of my favorite hat.
Yeah, I think your trademark.
It's my trademark right now.
Oh, I like that.
Sometimes I'll move on to another hat,
that becomes the new
look, then onto another hat.
So if I'm in Toronto, I shouldn't,
it may not be
reliable if I'm looking for--
Yeah, you might not even recognize me.
You look so good, you really do.
You look just so, like
you just like to stand
and just, why you?
I love it.
Thanks.
Yeah, that's how I feel.
Yeah, it's cool to be like, oh yeah,
there's that guy, I was
wondering where he was.
Oh, I love that.
I'm so happy for you.
Thanks.
I'm happy for you too.
Thank you.
Yeah.
When you think about us, back then,
look, it's not my turn.
My turn's it for you.
I was in love with you.
I figured that was obvious.
What was it for you?
You were my best
friend, and you're a friend.
You're a person of that.
I've had my friends in
there, and I loved you so much.
And I felt confused sometimes.
(soft music)
We didn't have that many
references at the time.
I feel like I felt embarrassed a lot,
because I was the
little queer one, you know?
You were the only
person I felt myself around.
Never that meant half the time,
but I don't know what I
would have done without you.
I'm glad that I could do that for you.
I still get that same
feeling I had in high school
when I look at you.
I don't.
Yeah.
It's been so, like, baffled by it.
We do.
I'm so nice, too.
I'd be close to you again.
And I was really part of, like,
what I could be with myself.
(soft music)
I'll always think I
love you no matter what.
(soft music)
Hey, if we're gonna be brothers,
we gotta fucking talk, right?
Sure.
Is that what we mean?
Brothers and law.
I'm just curious, is
that what I call you too,
brother-in-law?
Why?
Next summer.
Would it be?
I don't know why.
I don't know why it
would be different, but yeah.
You guys will call you Sammy?
Is that a thing?
Um, I'd prefer if you didn't.
Oh, I can't call you Sammy?
Did you just ask me a question?
And I responded to you.
No, I'm not trying to, I'm just saying,
I don't know all the
rules, all the fancy, whatever.
Sorry, the rules.
What?
I don't know, what do
you mean, like, what rules?
The, you know, all the
things to say, all the whatever.
Working on it.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, look, Meg gave me
this whole list of like,
here's what you say,
here's what you don't say,
and I was just like, all
right, we can figure it out.
What is that?
What is what?
Why are you like,
looking down at me like that?
It's just as what you always have to do.
What?
You have to bring something up
that you don't need to bring up.
Like, what are you talking about rules?
Like, I'm just a fucking
person, just talk to me.
Yeah, that's what I'm
saying, we can just talk.
I don't have to fucking
obey whatever, you know.
Look, you're going through a
thing, and that's for sure.
I'm going through a thing?
Yeah.
Dude.
Because we can talk,
we can talk, whatever.
Right, isn't that the
whole, why are you yelling?
What about me makes you so fucking angry?
I'm not angry, I'm
just saying, we can talk.
Isn't that the whole way?
You seem really angry,
and I don't understand
why you can't just like, appreciate
someone's existence.
Like, why can't you just respect that?
How is that hurting you?
Come on, this is getting all political.
I'm just saying, we can talk.
Isn't that the whole thing?
Hey, hey.
What?
What are you, what are you--
No, nothing, hey, hey.
I'm sorry, just this is
getting a little, whatever.
I'm just trying to stop
saying, we were talking,
you were telling me, you can
give me the list of the things
and whatever, the website or whatever.
Yeah, it's different when you lob the man
when we're in a group and we
all have to pretend and laugh.
It's different, it's just
different when you're like,
fucking, I'm, you're
pretending because of me.
This is who we're avoiding.
The shit I'm bringing up.
Who are you doing?
What the fuck?
No, fuck, this is bullshit.
This is just so classic.
It's so classic, like, you sit down,
you're clearly trying to
fucking provoke something.
You didn't need to say that.
I'm trying.
You obviously, you'd go, oh,
I'm trying to know the rules.
Next thing you know,
you're like, fuck them.
Which is basically you just saying like,
I'm not gonna register or regard or
respect your humanity
on any fucking level or who you are.
That is not what I'm saying.
It is what you're saying.
It is what you're
saying when you do that.
It's exactly what you're fucking saying.
And that's how it makes you fucking feel.
And then I'm the one.
You just say it's people.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Oh my God.
Just, just, just, just.
No, no, forget the
ticket, it's cool, it's cool.
Just take a walk.
It's cool, look, hey.
Take a walk, honey, take a walk, okay?
Just, no, pal.
No, let me just say it.
Why do I gotta do it when I shut up?
Look, you're going through a thing.
We all have to obey
your fucking whole thing.
Look, obey what?
Can you please?
Fine, whatever.
Go fuck yourself.
I will.
That doesn't help.
Uh.
Dude, what the fuck just happened?
He's an asshole.
Don't say that to her.
Dang, that's her.
I'll be stuck, I'll be stuck.
I'm not a girl, I can't
think that, but don't say that.
Always undercutting the day.
So you're gonna come in and defend him?
I mean, just like fucking him.
I'm not defending him, I'm protecting her.
I just, her.
Oh, great.
Her, I'm sorry, I just wanna understand.
Great, I'm just protecting her.
I just wanna
understand what just happened.
He's just being a
fucking transphobic asshole.
Oh fuck.
I was like, can't get involved in it.
Dad was just a little bit of a bitch. I'm not a bitch. I'm not a bitch. Dad was getting upset and I just wanted
to settle things down a little bit, okay?
Because it's dad's birthday.
Hey, Paul's in there fucking himself.
What?
Just, I heard, so I'm just
gonna try to lighten things up.
I'm sorry.
He can be a lot.
I mean, I can't even really apologize.
I don't, I don't, I
don't know what to say.
I'm sorry.
Are you okay?
Okay, dad's coming.
Birthday, oh my God.
Hi, hi, hi, hi.
Oh my God.
Oh my God, boy.
See, this is a kitchen party now.
Just, well, it's got a few things to say.
Oh.
I didn't mean anything by it.
I didn't mean, I didn't, this is not.
You did mean something by it.
And I don't think you
just walked out of the room
and had some sort of epiphany
and a whole different perspective.
I'm saying--
On me and who I am, so I
just, I don't, you know.
Paul, I can make room for that.
We all have different, different, different, whatever, thoughts and I can make room.
No, that's not what this is about.
Okay.
You're, okay, sure, you know what?
You can have different
thoughts, but they're,
they're bigoted fucking thoughts.
Fine, fine, I'm an asshole,
but can we just have
a, this is not about us.
This is your dad's birthday, you know?
That's fine, that's fine.
Really?
Does it matter?
Yeah, well, why don't we
talk about that for a second?
No, no, I'll just stand there.
I'm standing on the table, I don't--
Where do I go?
This is my question. No, you can't.
This is my question.
Because, hey, the one with the,
I'm just like saying you're existing
and you can't seem to like handle it.
Can you please just--
I'm done.
You can't ignore him.
No, I'm done.
You can't ignore him.
I'm done, I'm done.
I'm leaving, fuck this shit.
Oh, hey guys, dinner's ready.
Um.
What, what's going on?
What, why are you going?
What happened?
Sweetheart.
I was being a fucking asshole.
Oh my God, well don't go.
No, I'm not staying.
I'm not.
Please, sweetheart,
just for me to forgive.
I know, but just for a
second, what happened?
What did he say?
He was just being--
Yeah, okay, do I have to--
No, he's gotta apologize.
We can't never be together.
Me and his apology, are you kidding me?
Okay, he can come.
You're not going.
Okay.
We're not the one who asked for me.
Okay, then make him leave.
Then he will--
Okay, make him leave.
Let him give a chance.
Great, make him leave.
Can we give him a chance?
Okay, let's go give him a chance.
I'm just to apologize.
What the hell happened here?
Paul, you need to apologize to Sam.
All right?
You owe Sam an apology.
This is our home.
This is my child.
You owe Sam an apology.
Miriam, I'm sorry.
Sam, I'm sorry.
Okay, I'm fucking this up.
This is on me, I get it.
I'm sorry, okay?
All right, all right, everyone.
I made this lovely meal.
Girls, can you get the
dishes from the kitchen, please?
We're gonna sit down,
we're gonna be civilized,
and we're gonna have a nice meal
for your father's birthday, okay?
One meal.
That's all there was.
She was the one who was--
So.
Okay, everyone.
Does anybody want wine?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Can we just hold hands for one minute?
I know this seems, but for me, can we
just, for one minute,
just take each other's hands
and just look around the
table and think how grateful
we are to be a family.
There is nothing more
important than family.
Nothing is more important than this.
And having Sam here, it
just fills my heart with joy.
I am so grateful.
Amen.
So grateful.
Yeah, thank you. Yeah.
You know, family's not
the most important thing.
It's not.
And the fact that I
should be expected to sit here
and to make you all fucking
feel okay is so fucked up.
Sam, we just gotta ignore it.
No, I don't have to
just ignore it, actually.
Clearly, that's what you all fucking do.
Sam, goddamn it. What?
Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ.
Hold on, just wait a second.
I'm leaving. Look, I'm sorry, okay?
I'm sorry, I understand.
I have no idea that Paul was like that.
I thought he would shit the other day.
I really didn't have that.
Come on, Sam. Well, he is like that.
Well, he is. Or are you gonna ask him
to leave the way he talked to me?
He is like that and the
world is full of people.
Exactly. Whoa, Sam.
Why do I have to sit here
and deal with my family?
Because you're fucking barely.
You can rise above it.
No. Come on, Sam.
Rise above it.
Yeah, rising above it is
fucking getting out of here.
I don't have to fucking
stay here and put up with this.
And for you to expect
me to, you are so fucked.
Sam, Sam. Oh my God, please.
Oh, Sam, that was incredible.
You're incredible and
I'm so inspired by you.
Oh, Mom, I'm so glad you said that.
You're so smart and I
wanna be like you, you know?
Yeah.
I'm really-- Well, we'll hang out.
Yeah, I'm really happy to see you.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, okay, that's, yeah.
I love you.
I love you too.
I'll see you in the city. Okay.
(birds chirping)
(engine revving)
He's gone.
That kid was in so much pain before.
Your moment of our convinced me
we could just find him
dead one day in his room.
And what he has done
has made him happy again
and has made him wanna live again.
And that's how you're gonna be right there, Sam. And has made him wanna live again.
And I don't know why that is so hard
for some people to understand
because it has absolutely nothing to do
with anyone but Sam.
Jim.
That was Sam.
It's that fucking simple.
Today I thought I got my son back
and then I lost him.
All I can, I can't accept this.
I'll be in my office.
Jim.
(people chattering)
I have to get back.
Yeah.
I'll rest that little.
Before I go, I have a question for you.
(laughs)
Are you with anyone like that?
No.
I have to get back to work.
Please keep on talking.
Yeah, of course.
Pharmacists?
Yes.
You call us?
I do.
Okay.
All right.
(somber music)
Bye.
(somber music)
(phone rings)
Enjoy)
Hakim. Hi, buddy.
Figured I could take the later train.
Come, come, come sit with me.
Okay.
(laughing) (sighs)
(sighs)
(sighs) (sighs) (sighs) (sighs) (sighs) (sighs) (sighs) (sighs)
(sighs) (sighs)
(mumbles)
Um, that's it, Margot.
I said this.
I know, it's okay.
It's nice to meet you.
Me too, me too.
So, yeah.
(sighs)
(sighs) (sighs)
(sighs)
I'd love it if you
came to Toronto with me.
Oh, Mr. Curran.
Sorry, I felt bad, and I just can't stop bringing you. (sighs)
This is hard for me.
I don't want to hurt you either.
I'm just...
I don't know what to do.
(sighs) (sighs) (sighs) (sighs) (sighs) (sighs) (sighs) (sighs)
(sighs) (sighs) (sighs) (sighs) (sighs)
I think that, um...
seeing who I'm feeling the way I do...
um, is making me...
(sighs) think about a lot of things.
(sighs)
In my life right now, um...
when I think about, I
don't know, I'm just...
I'm just...
(sighs)
I'm just so happy to see you.
But as much as I want to,
I can't come to Toronto with you.
You're on the stand.
(sighs)
Yeah. Of course I understand.
Well, we'll stay in touch.
Yes, I really love that.
Okay.
I'm just really glad we
got this time together.
Me too. It was really good.
Yeah.
It's all gone.
Hmm.
I should probably...
make sure I get the dream.
Yeah, of course.
And how'd you come by?
Thanks.
Okay.
(chuckles)
Okay.
I'll see you soon.
Okay.
(wind howling)
(somber music)
(wind howling)
(chuckles)
I wanted to come and tell you something,
which is...
...beying with you again.
Both of you feel beautiful.
How about you?
I want you to.
I just want to touch you.
(somber music)
(wind howling)
I'm still okay.
Beautiful.
I'm gonna go with beautiful.
Beautiful.
Okay, so this is sleep.
Sleep now.
(sighs)
(mumbles)
Yeah.
I think I can.
And you'd go go and go over there, so...
...you're not gonna get me.
I wish I was further along in my life.
Me neither.
I live in a room in a
friend's house here.
I come with two kids.
I mean, would you even...
...look at you, wanna...
...move them?
Of course.
Of course, if you wanna meet your kids.
I don't know everything about you.
I'm so proud of you,
how wise you've come.
I have no doubt that you're
just gonna keep going so far.
Expanding and...
...being more here.
You've come so far.
I'm so...
...thank you.
I'm always...
I'm always telling you,
I want you to know that.
I'm always loving you
and sharing your honor.
Knowing...
...that there's this love is...
...it's a beautiful thing.
(crying) (crying)
(crying)
(crowd chattering)
(eerie music)