1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:05,624 --> 00:00:07,683 Ladies and gentlemen, 3 00:00:07,683 --> 00:00:10,503 please welcome Anjelah Johnson-Reyes. 4 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 5 00:00:29,376 --> 00:00:32,876 Wow. 6 00:00:36,018 --> 00:00:41,018 Nashville. 7 00:00:45,030 --> 00:00:46,590 I am so honored 8 00:00:46,590 --> 00:00:49,950 to be recording my sixth hour special here 9 00:00:49,950 --> 00:00:52,383 at the historic Ryman Auditorium. 10 00:00:56,310 --> 00:00:57,620 What a blessing. 11 00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:02,670 I've been doing standup comedy since I was 24 years old. 12 00:01:02,670 --> 00:01:07,670 I am now 40. 13 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:11,268 Aw, thank you for cheering for that part. 14 00:01:12,750 --> 00:01:13,583 I'm getting older. 15 00:01:13,583 --> 00:01:15,270 I'll be honest, having a hard time with it. 16 00:01:15,270 --> 00:01:17,430 I thought I was gonna be the girl 17 00:01:17,430 --> 00:01:20,580 that no matter what age I was, I was just gonna embrace it, 18 00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:21,720 like, "That's me. 19 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:25,320 Yes, queen, yes." 20 00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:27,545 Turns out that's something you say in your 20s. 21 00:01:29,460 --> 00:01:32,400 Then you get to your 40s and you're like, "Ooh, no queen. 22 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:35,160 What happened? 23 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:35,993 Oh no. 24 00:01:35,993 --> 00:01:37,167 That's too much eyelid." 25 00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:41,190 It's scary getting older. 26 00:01:41,190 --> 00:01:43,560 It's scary for women getting older 27 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:47,193 because men, if you get gray hair, that's sexy. 28 00:01:48,330 --> 00:01:52,410 That's salt and pepper, eh. 29 00:01:52,410 --> 00:01:55,195 Women, we get gray hair and it's like, "Oh." 30 00:01:56,797 --> 00:02:00,150 "What happened?" 31 00:02:00,150 --> 00:02:02,670 That's not fair. 32 00:02:02,670 --> 00:02:05,190 I gotta start changing some things about my life. 33 00:02:05,190 --> 00:02:08,190 I can't keep shopping at the same stores I used to shop at 34 00:02:08,190 --> 00:02:11,430 like Forever 21. 35 00:02:11,430 --> 00:02:14,760 No, you're not. 36 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:17,850 Turns out that was a lie. 37 00:02:17,850 --> 00:02:20,400 I cannot be in line behind some 21-year-old 38 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,200 buying the same dress as her. 39 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:23,940 She's out here living her best life. 40 00:02:23,940 --> 00:02:25,691 I'm trying to remember to take my vitamins. 41 00:02:28,650 --> 00:02:31,650 We like the same dress for different reasons. 42 00:02:31,650 --> 00:02:34,650 She's like, "Ooh, has pockets for my ID." 43 00:02:34,650 --> 00:02:36,881 I'm like, "Ooh, pockets for my Tums." 44 00:02:41,850 --> 00:02:43,200 You gotta put that down. 45 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:45,663 Go to Ann Taylor Loft where we belong. 46 00:02:48,390 --> 00:02:50,219 Go to White House Black Market. 47 00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:55,080 Do a loop-de-loop at Talbots. 48 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:57,750 Pass by J. Jill. 49 00:02:57,750 --> 00:03:01,020 Peek your head in at Chicos. 50 00:03:01,020 --> 00:03:02,692 And then go home 'cause your feet hurt. 51 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:08,130 I'm approaching the age 52 00:03:08,130 --> 00:03:09,360 where I'm gonna start getting my clothes 53 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:11,081 at the same place I get my groceries. 54 00:03:13,230 --> 00:03:16,830 Say I won't. 55 00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:21,830 You will catch me at Costco. 56 00:03:23,054 --> 00:03:24,630 Yes. 57 00:03:24,630 --> 00:03:27,067 About to get them Kirkland Jeans, 58 00:03:28,110 --> 00:03:32,160 them Kirkland socks, that Kirkland body wash. 59 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:34,983 Hey, this Kirkland Gang Gang, what? 60 00:03:41,007 --> 00:03:43,680 It's about to be my new Tuesday. 61 00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:44,820 I'm gonna start out front, 62 00:03:44,820 --> 00:03:47,583 gimme a hotdog and a soda for a dollar 50. 63 00:03:49,890 --> 00:03:52,293 Then I'll flash my VIP card and bozy on in. 64 00:03:54,060 --> 00:03:56,700 I start with a lap of samples. 65 00:03:56,700 --> 00:03:58,170 Then I take my hair outta my ponytail. 66 00:03:58,170 --> 00:03:59,870 Make a lap in the other direction. 67 00:04:01,020 --> 00:04:01,853 Round two. 68 00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:06,390 Hey, but if you come in for a second sample at Costco, 69 00:04:06,390 --> 00:04:07,710 be warned. 70 00:04:07,710 --> 00:04:09,723 These sample ladies get offended. 71 00:04:10,650 --> 00:04:14,190 They act a type of way, if you come in for a second sample, 72 00:04:14,190 --> 00:04:16,692 like they have been baking from scratch all day long. 73 00:04:19,110 --> 00:04:20,943 Like really, Beth? 74 00:04:23,790 --> 00:04:24,990 Just gimme another chicken tender. 75 00:04:24,990 --> 00:04:29,523 Why you gotta do this? 76 00:04:30,390 --> 00:04:33,153 It's embarrassing enough just asking for a sample. 77 00:04:34,620 --> 00:04:36,510 It's embarrassing, right? 78 00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:37,650 Because you have to pretend 79 00:04:37,650 --> 00:04:39,680 like you've never heard of this product before. 80 00:04:51,030 --> 00:04:55,383 You said it's a tender? 81 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:03,573 And you dip it. 82 00:05:05,731 --> 00:05:10,398 Sure, I'll try one. 83 00:05:12,210 --> 00:05:16,230 I be coming up with lies just to get a second sample. 84 00:05:16,230 --> 00:05:17,880 I do, I'll be like, "I'm sorry, 85 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:21,057 can I get another one for my husband is really hungry." 86 00:05:22,950 --> 00:05:26,943 Where is he, oh he's at home. 87 00:05:28,590 --> 00:05:31,470 I forget that I'm a little bit famous 88 00:05:31,470 --> 00:05:33,450 and sometimes people recognize me 89 00:05:33,450 --> 00:05:37,620 because one time I came in for a second sample 90 00:05:37,620 --> 00:05:40,887 and the sample lady was like, "I've seen you." 91 00:05:42,570 --> 00:05:43,920 I was like, "On TV?" 92 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:45,731 She goes, "No, this is your third time." 93 00:05:49,590 --> 00:05:53,673 Mind your business, Beth. 94 00:05:57,660 --> 00:05:59,550 It's hard getting older. 95 00:05:59,550 --> 00:06:02,460 There's too many acronyms to keep up with now. 96 00:06:02,460 --> 00:06:06,510 Like my friend text me the other day, she was like, TLDR. 97 00:06:06,510 --> 00:06:07,650 I was like, what's that? 98 00:06:07,650 --> 00:06:09,726 She said, "Too long, didn't read." 99 00:06:12,660 --> 00:06:16,095 I was like, "Oh, well, too short, didn't understand." 100 00:06:19,620 --> 00:06:22,053 I know BRB and LOL, that's it. 101 00:06:23,443 --> 00:06:24,510 And I have come to realize 102 00:06:24,510 --> 00:06:26,820 that I am far too generous with my LOLs. 103 00:06:28,865 --> 00:06:31,233 LOL has become a common courtesy. 104 00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:34,650 It's just a thing you say. 105 00:06:34,650 --> 00:06:36,180 Like another common courtesy. 106 00:06:36,180 --> 00:06:39,240 If somebody's next to you and they sneeze, what do you say? 107 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:40,590 Bless you. 108 00:06:40,590 --> 00:06:44,280 But are you really blessing them from God? 109 00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:47,430 No, it's just a thing you say. 110 00:06:47,430 --> 00:06:49,770 When your friend texts you and they're trying to be funny. 111 00:06:49,770 --> 00:06:50,834 What do you say? 112 00:06:50,834 --> 00:06:52,650 LOL. 113 00:06:52,650 --> 00:06:54,453 Did you really laugh out loud? 114 00:06:56,370 --> 00:06:57,903 No, you didn't. 115 00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:03,417 At this point LOL just means I have received your text. 116 00:07:07,650 --> 00:07:12,060 If I reply to your text with LOL, at most, 117 00:07:12,060 --> 00:07:13,852 a little bit of air came out my nostril. 118 00:07:17,490 --> 00:07:19,110 If I replied to your text with LOL, 119 00:07:19,110 --> 00:07:20,673 this is how I read your text. 120 00:07:25,140 --> 00:07:28,743 Like it was funny, but I don't know how to type back. 121 00:07:32,490 --> 00:07:36,513 If I reply to your text with ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, that's funny. 122 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:41,343 If I reply to your text with bwa-ha-ha-ha, 123 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:45,210 like B-W-H-A-H-A, that means that was so funny 124 00:07:45,210 --> 00:07:47,003 I had to spit something out my mouth. 125 00:07:48,450 --> 00:07:51,870 If I reply to your text with rows of ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. 126 00:07:51,870 --> 00:07:52,980 I start using other letters 127 00:07:52,980 --> 00:07:55,920 like hhak-ha-ha-ha-q- r-s-t-ha-ha, 128 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:57,720 That means that I said something funny 129 00:07:57,720 --> 00:07:58,872 and I'm really proud of myself. 130 00:08:04,230 --> 00:08:08,250 It's hard getting older, but no matter how old I get, 131 00:08:08,250 --> 00:08:11,553 I will always be younger than my sister, okay? 132 00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:20,310 I'm my sister's little sister. 133 00:08:20,310 --> 00:08:21,930 Any other little sisters here tonight? 134 00:08:21,930 --> 00:08:25,890 Little sisters. 135 00:08:25,890 --> 00:08:29,646 Dare I say the little sister is the best sister? 136 00:08:32,730 --> 00:08:35,520 Probably because the older sister is exhausted 137 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:39,543 from having to raise the rest of us, right? 138 00:08:40,410 --> 00:08:42,870 Because when mom was at work, she had to cook, 139 00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:46,505 she had to clean, she gave herself spanking privileges. 140 00:08:48,300 --> 00:08:51,333 My sister was stressed out by the time she was 13. 141 00:08:52,230 --> 00:08:53,790 We'd catch her on the side of the house 142 00:08:53,790 --> 00:08:55,551 smoking those candy cigarettes. 143 00:09:01,830 --> 00:09:03,390 There was a dark period of time 144 00:09:03,390 --> 00:09:05,890 where she was going through about six packs a day. 145 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:10,170 Probably 'cause those things only had one puff of smoke 146 00:09:10,170 --> 00:09:11,253 in each cigarette. 147 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:14,700 Those were some wild times, man. 148 00:09:14,700 --> 00:09:17,970 We'd be at the ice cream truck ordering fake cigarettes, 149 00:09:17,970 --> 00:09:20,040 fake chewing tobacco. 150 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:24,376 I was nine years old doing lines of lemon salt on my hand. 151 00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:28,563 Wild. 152 00:09:30,510 --> 00:09:32,190 I am my sister's little sister. 153 00:09:32,190 --> 00:09:35,190 We grew up best friends, we're still best friends. 154 00:09:35,190 --> 00:09:37,530 I talk to my sister like five times a day, 155 00:09:37,530 --> 00:09:38,700 which is great for me. 156 00:09:38,700 --> 00:09:41,083 Not so much for her 'cause she has a real job. 157 00:09:43,290 --> 00:09:45,360 And I call her when she's at work, 158 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:47,910 so she answers the phone in her work voice. 159 00:09:47,910 --> 00:09:48,743 Hello? 160 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:52,843 I go, "Hi, what's up?" 161 00:09:58,916 --> 00:10:01,173 Oh, nothing, what are you doing? 162 00:10:02,730 --> 00:10:03,903 I'm working. 163 00:10:05,580 --> 00:10:10,293 Dang, you work every day? 164 00:10:13,710 --> 00:10:15,513 All right then. 165 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,150 Anyway, I was watching this show last night. 166 00:10:20,730 --> 00:10:22,020 It was real good. 167 00:10:22,020 --> 00:10:25,290 But then I fell asleep and I had the craziest dream. 168 00:10:25,290 --> 00:10:27,060 I was hiking up this mountain 169 00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:28,740 and there were these little birds in my shoe 170 00:10:28,740 --> 00:10:30,120 that kept chirping at me. 171 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:31,470 Then I get to the top of the mountain 172 00:10:31,470 --> 00:10:34,110 and grandma's house is there, but not grandma from San Jose, 173 00:10:34,110 --> 00:10:35,013 grandma from Reno. 174 00:10:36,154 --> 00:10:39,387 And I was like, "Dang, that's crazy." 175 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:46,160 Anyway, what are you doing? 176 00:10:46,620 --> 00:10:48,063 Still working. 177 00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:51,092 Oh, okay, call me later. 178 00:10:51,092 --> 00:10:51,925 Bye. 179 00:10:53,283 --> 00:10:55,080 Then I hang up. 180 00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:59,283 Only she doesn't call me later, so I have to call her later. 181 00:11:01,140 --> 00:11:03,720 But she's at work, I don't wanna be a pest. 182 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:08,720 So I give it like at least an hour and I call her back. 183 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:11,310 Now she answers the phone, no more work voice. 184 00:11:11,310 --> 00:11:13,890 Now she has deadlines, she has things to do. 185 00:11:13,890 --> 00:11:16,167 Now she answers the phone, "What's up?" 186 00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:22,443 Oh, real quick. 187 00:11:24,630 --> 00:11:26,926 Do you remember when dad used to take us camping? 188 00:11:30,330 --> 00:11:31,620 Yeah. 189 00:11:31,620 --> 00:11:33,630 And remember how we always used to have 190 00:11:33,630 --> 00:11:36,480 those Dorito sandwiches with pickles in the middle? 191 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:37,830 Yeah. 192 00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:41,070 Those are good, huh? 193 00:11:41,070 --> 00:11:42,180 And you'd think she'd be pissed 194 00:11:42,180 --> 00:11:43,230 'cause I'm wasting her time. 195 00:11:43,230 --> 00:11:45,150 But now we're talking about food and food is our jam. 196 00:11:45,150 --> 00:11:46,680 So she participates. 197 00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:47,850 Those were so good, 198 00:11:47,850 --> 00:11:50,220 I haven't thought about those in forever. 199 00:11:50,220 --> 00:11:53,223 I know, do you ever think about Chef Boyardee raviolis? 200 00:11:55,290 --> 00:11:56,370 Yeah. 201 00:11:56,370 --> 00:11:58,170 Do you ever think about fish sticks? 202 00:11:59,250 --> 00:12:00,083 Yeah. 203 00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:02,504 Okay, I'll call you later, bye. 204 00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:09,870 If I ever call my sister and she doesn't answer the phone, 205 00:12:09,870 --> 00:12:12,153 I automatically assume it was a mistake. 206 00:12:13,290 --> 00:12:15,000 She left her phone in the bathroom, 207 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,163 I should definitely call her right back. 208 00:12:18,630 --> 00:12:20,430 And if she still doesn't answer the phone, 209 00:12:20,430 --> 00:12:22,560 then I wait for the text message from her 210 00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:25,800 that says on a conference call, what's up? 211 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:28,080 If I don't get the on a conference call, 212 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:30,540 what's up text that I know for a fact 213 00:12:30,540 --> 00:12:31,740 she's probably being attacked 214 00:12:31,740 --> 00:12:32,760 and I should definitely call her 215 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:34,160 until she answers the phone. 216 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:37,110 But she loves it though. 217 00:12:37,110 --> 00:12:38,220 You know what I mean? 218 00:12:38,220 --> 00:12:40,290 Especially when she's real busy at work. 219 00:12:40,290 --> 00:12:41,840 I'm like a breath of fresh air. 220 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:50,340 Sometimes I call my sister and we don't say anything at all. 221 00:12:50,340 --> 00:12:55,110 We're just on the phone and my husband doesn't get it. 222 00:12:55,110 --> 00:12:56,040 He's like, "What are you doing? 223 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:57,117 Hang up the phone." 224 00:12:58,380 --> 00:12:59,630 I'm talking to my sister. 225 00:13:01,590 --> 00:13:03,780 But neither one of you're saying anything. 226 00:13:03,780 --> 00:13:05,670 Yeah, because we're thinking 227 00:13:05,670 --> 00:13:08,463 about what we're gonna say next. 228 00:13:10,410 --> 00:13:12,870 I love hanging out with my sister, we hang out all the time. 229 00:13:12,870 --> 00:13:14,790 Although it's been difficult over the past few years 230 00:13:14,790 --> 00:13:16,140 'cause of the pandemic. 231 00:13:16,140 --> 00:13:17,640 And I find it funny 232 00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:20,700 that everybody experienced it differently 233 00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:23,700 depending on what part of the world you live in. 234 00:13:23,700 --> 00:13:25,590 Like I remember when things first started going down 235 00:13:25,590 --> 00:13:27,900 in 2020, we were watching the news 236 00:13:27,900 --> 00:13:31,290 and it was like everybody in Italy was dying. 237 00:13:31,290 --> 00:13:34,410 Everybody in Spain had to stay in the house. 238 00:13:34,410 --> 00:13:37,623 Everybody in Florida was on spring break, whole time. 239 00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:40,863 Just wilding. 240 00:13:41,953 --> 00:13:44,153 I don't even know if they heard about COVID. 241 00:13:45,570 --> 00:13:47,630 Because they were at the club every night like, 242 00:13:47,630 --> 00:13:49,972 ♪ Hey, I'm a savage, yeah ♪ 243 00:13:49,972 --> 00:13:53,072 ♪ Classy, bougie, ratchet, yeah ♪ 244 00:13:56,757 --> 00:13:59,377 And I was at home watching the news like, 245 00:13:59,377 --> 00:14:04,200 "Florida, what are you doing? 246 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:11,960 You're embarrassing us." 247 00:14:13,050 --> 00:14:15,150 I remember when things started getting real serious 248 00:14:15,150 --> 00:14:18,060 and they were like, "All right, nobody can go to work. 249 00:14:18,060 --> 00:14:20,520 Only essential employees." 250 00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:21,480 And first of all, let's give it up 251 00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:23,516 for any essential employees that are here tonight. 252 00:14:23,516 --> 00:14:26,607 We thank you. 253 00:14:28,020 --> 00:14:31,173 We appreciate you, we are grateful for you. 254 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:35,317 Whether you were in the ER or at Trader Joe's. 255 00:14:37,740 --> 00:14:40,260 It was a scary time, we didn't know what was happening. 256 00:14:40,260 --> 00:14:42,910 And you put that Hawaiian shirt on and you showed up. 257 00:14:44,730 --> 00:14:46,830 We appreciate that. 258 00:14:46,830 --> 00:14:47,790 It was an emergency. 259 00:14:47,790 --> 00:14:49,803 I needed my honey sesame cashews. 260 00:14:52,770 --> 00:14:56,700 They said, only essential employees can go to work. 261 00:14:56,700 --> 00:14:59,220 So in my mind, I was visualizing 262 00:14:59,220 --> 00:15:03,300 all these high rise buildings empty, cubicles empty, 263 00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:05,130 offices empty. 264 00:15:05,130 --> 00:15:07,980 It did not compute in my brain 265 00:15:07,980 --> 00:15:10,473 that that also meant TJ Maxx was closed. 266 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:15,843 Because I went to TJ Maxx and the doors were locked. 267 00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:18,167 And I was like, "What's this?" 268 00:15:21,210 --> 00:15:22,960 They said, "It's a world pandemic." 269 00:15:23,850 --> 00:15:25,900 I was like, "Yeah, but at TJ Maxx though, 270 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:29,403 isn't this essential? 271 00:15:31,290 --> 00:15:32,607 It is for me." 272 00:15:33,660 --> 00:15:35,931 Any other Maxxanistas in the building tonight? 273 00:15:39,210 --> 00:15:41,310 Yes, Maxxanistas. 274 00:15:41,310 --> 00:15:44,403 We go to TJ Maxx when we don't need anything. 275 00:15:46,050 --> 00:15:48,150 It's just a part of our mental health day. 276 00:15:49,380 --> 00:15:53,223 We just wanna go look at stuff and smell candles. 277 00:15:54,990 --> 00:15:57,060 I feel good at TJ Maxx 278 00:15:57,060 --> 00:15:59,580 knowing that anything I would ever need in life, 279 00:15:59,580 --> 00:16:01,443 I could get right here in this store. 280 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:04,073 Whatever you need. 281 00:16:04,073 --> 00:16:06,450 You want a new outfit with a matching purse? 282 00:16:06,450 --> 00:16:08,490 We got you over here. 283 00:16:08,490 --> 00:16:12,130 You want some random spices you'll never find anywhere else 284 00:16:13,860 --> 00:16:15,931 over there by the lentil chips. 285 00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:23,040 You want some makeup for 50% off? 286 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:25,650 Yes, I do. 287 00:16:25,650 --> 00:16:27,423 It's probably seven years old. 288 00:16:29,190 --> 00:16:32,101 But it's Urban Decay for 3.99. 289 00:16:35,550 --> 00:16:38,373 By that point it has urban decayed all the way. 290 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:44,577 It's as if TJ Maxx was saying, "Here, you throw this away." 291 00:16:59,730 --> 00:17:02,630 I love TJ Maxx. 292 00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:04,980 But they always get me at the end 293 00:17:04,980 --> 00:17:09,753 in that zigzag register line, right? 294 00:17:10,590 --> 00:17:12,723 Where they have all the last minute buys, 295 00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:16,653 all the things you didn't know you needed in your life. 296 00:17:17,490 --> 00:17:19,950 I can be walking around TJ Maxx for like an hour. 297 00:17:19,950 --> 00:17:21,270 I have two things in my cart. 298 00:17:21,270 --> 00:17:23,910 Then I start making my way through the line. 299 00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:26,883 By the time I get to the register, 87 items. 300 00:17:28,410 --> 00:17:30,150 All right here in the home stretch, 301 00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:31,297 you start walking through, you're like, 302 00:17:31,297 --> 00:17:34,713 "Oh wow, candles, coffee mugs, 303 00:17:36,060 --> 00:17:40,080 dog treats, slippers, wow." 304 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:42,120 And then the line starts moving too fast. 305 00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:43,980 You're like, "Wait, I didn't get to see everything yet. 306 00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:47,163 Hold on. 307 00:17:49,133 --> 00:17:50,970 Excuse, I just wanna smell that candle. 308 00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:53,850 Excuse me, sorry about that." 309 00:17:53,850 --> 00:17:54,900 Oh God, no. 310 00:17:54,900 --> 00:17:56,640 Don't smell that, it's bad. 311 00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:59,763 Don't do it. 312 00:18:04,020 --> 00:18:06,033 Love TJ Maxx. 313 00:18:07,950 --> 00:18:09,930 The doors were locked, I couldn't get in. 314 00:18:09,930 --> 00:18:10,763 I tried. 315 00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:28,083 It's two o'clock. 316 00:18:29,940 --> 00:18:31,743 This is getting serious. 317 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:37,080 A lot has changed since COVID, 318 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:39,330 globally on a world scale, things have changed. 319 00:18:39,330 --> 00:18:41,820 But even individually in our own lives, 320 00:18:41,820 --> 00:18:45,240 we have all experienced change in some way. 321 00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:48,330 Like I know people who have quit their careers, 322 00:18:48,330 --> 00:18:53,220 quit the gym, 323 00:18:53,220 --> 00:18:55,654 quit their marriage. 324 00:18:55,654 --> 00:18:57,630 A lot of divorces in 2020. 325 00:18:57,630 --> 00:18:58,860 People were like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. 326 00:18:58,860 --> 00:19:02,037 I didn't sign up for all this." 327 00:19:04,020 --> 00:19:07,950 Actually, you did, till death do us part. 328 00:19:07,950 --> 00:19:12,513 Yeah, but every day though? 329 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:20,430 We had some changes happen for us as well. 330 00:19:20,430 --> 00:19:23,340 Like right in the beginning of the quarantine lockdown, 331 00:19:23,340 --> 00:19:24,900 when everybody was losing work, 332 00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:28,320 my best friend and her son moved in with us. 333 00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:30,820 And then what happened was is they're still there. 334 00:19:34,044 --> 00:19:35,820 Yeah, we had said we didn't want kids 335 00:19:35,820 --> 00:19:37,663 and then we adopted a single mom. 336 00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:43,950 It's a blessing. 337 00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:46,530 They move in with us and now we look like 338 00:19:46,530 --> 00:19:49,330 we have our own big love situation happening 339 00:19:50,670 --> 00:19:52,170 because from the outside looking in, 340 00:19:52,170 --> 00:19:55,770 it looks like we have a husband, two wives, 341 00:19:55,770 --> 00:19:57,810 like I imagine when they first moved in, 342 00:19:57,810 --> 00:20:00,420 my neighbors were like, "Oh, that's nice. 343 00:20:00,420 --> 00:20:03,210 Her sister's moving in for a little while." 344 00:20:03,210 --> 00:20:04,927 And now that they're still there, they're probably like, 345 00:20:04,927 --> 00:20:07,617 "Wait, that's her sister or her sister wife?" 346 00:20:08,970 --> 00:20:11,280 And my friend that moved in, she's beautiful. 347 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:13,710 Just a stunning human being. 348 00:20:13,710 --> 00:20:15,427 So people would message me and be like, 349 00:20:15,427 --> 00:20:16,980 "Aren't you a little concerned 350 00:20:16,980 --> 00:20:19,770 having a beautiful woman around your husband all the time?" 351 00:20:19,770 --> 00:20:22,440 And I was like, "No, not even a little bit." 352 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:25,653 Like if anything, she got me to step my game up. 353 00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:29,640 She did because like when she moved in, 354 00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:32,070 I started doing that one thing. 355 00:20:32,070 --> 00:20:36,213 What do they call it, try. 356 00:20:37,830 --> 00:20:42,540 I started trying. 357 00:20:42,540 --> 00:20:46,293 I started wearing clothes with zippers and buttons again. 358 00:20:48,180 --> 00:20:49,503 Hey, look at me go. 359 00:20:51,647 --> 00:20:53,607 I had to step my game up, 360 00:20:53,607 --> 00:20:55,590 not 'cause I was concerned about my husband, 361 00:20:55,590 --> 00:20:57,000 I just didn't want the neighbors to think 362 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,560 that she was wife number one. 363 00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:08,880 Her son Elijah, he was 10 years old when they first moved in 364 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:12,030 and he's used to being parented by one person, 365 00:21:12,030 --> 00:21:14,280 a single mom who's doing the best she can. 366 00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:16,263 So he knew how to work the system. 367 00:21:17,220 --> 00:21:18,390 Then they move in with us 368 00:21:18,390 --> 00:21:21,270 and now he has three adults looking after him. 369 00:21:21,270 --> 00:21:23,670 He loves that part. 370 00:21:23,670 --> 00:21:25,590 And we all have a role in the house. 371 00:21:25,590 --> 00:21:27,900 Penelope is his mom, she tells him what to do 372 00:21:27,900 --> 00:21:29,910 and what not to do because she's the mom. 373 00:21:29,910 --> 00:21:31,440 But if he doesn't listen, 374 00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:35,250 that's when my husband, tio Manwell steps in. 375 00:21:35,250 --> 00:21:39,930 Tio Manwell is like the law of the house. 376 00:21:39,930 --> 00:21:42,240 Yes. 377 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:44,731 And my role is, I'm the snitch. 378 00:21:48,300 --> 00:21:49,383 Say I won't. 379 00:21:52,230 --> 00:21:55,050 I'm the one that's like, "Oh, are you supposed 380 00:21:55,050 --> 00:21:58,170 to be watching YouTube videos before school? 381 00:21:58,170 --> 00:22:02,667 Hmm, that's interesting." 382 00:22:08,100 --> 00:22:10,860 I love Elijah, I'm very close with Elijah. 383 00:22:10,860 --> 00:22:13,110 I'm his godmother, I'm Nina. 384 00:22:13,110 --> 00:22:15,630 So we have the auntie nephew relationship. 385 00:22:15,630 --> 00:22:18,120 I've been in his life since day one. 386 00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:21,330 Literally the day he was born, I was in the hospital room. 387 00:22:21,330 --> 00:22:24,060 I saw his head come out and go right back in. 388 00:22:24,060 --> 00:22:25,833 He wasn't ready, it was a long day. 389 00:22:32,190 --> 00:22:34,050 I love Elijah. 390 00:22:34,050 --> 00:22:37,080 We're very close, he's my godson. 391 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:39,843 But something happened, when they moved in, 392 00:22:39,843 --> 00:22:44,073 when our dynamic shifted to be more like siblings who fight. 393 00:22:46,110 --> 00:22:49,173 And I realize we're both fighting for attention. 394 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:53,250 He's used to having his mom's attention all to himself. 395 00:22:53,250 --> 00:22:54,510 Then they move in with us 396 00:22:54,510 --> 00:22:56,010 and I'm like, "My best friend lives with me. 397 00:22:56,010 --> 00:22:58,260 We're gonna hang out every day, this is gonna be great." 398 00:22:58,260 --> 00:23:01,053 So now I'm the thing in his way, 399 00:23:02,250 --> 00:23:04,593 but he's also the thing in my way. 400 00:23:07,590 --> 00:23:11,130 He doesn't have siblings so he doesn't know how to share. 401 00:23:11,130 --> 00:23:13,380 I don't have kids, I don't know how to share. 402 00:23:15,570 --> 00:23:17,910 So now we just bump heads. 403 00:23:17,910 --> 00:23:20,370 Sometimes Elijah and I will have good conversations 404 00:23:20,370 --> 00:23:21,570 with each other, but other times 405 00:23:21,570 --> 00:23:23,570 I just see him in the hallway and check. 406 00:23:33,300 --> 00:23:36,003 I snitch on Elijah, but he snitches on me too. 407 00:23:36,990 --> 00:23:38,820 'Cause we have security cameras around the house 408 00:23:38,820 --> 00:23:41,770 and he didn't know this at the time, but they record audio. 409 00:23:45,090 --> 00:23:47,040 I got a notification on my phone 410 00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:48,780 that there was motion in the backyard. 411 00:23:48,780 --> 00:23:50,520 So I click on it, "What's this?" 412 00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:53,040 And it's him talking to his mom 413 00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:55,413 and he was complaining about me. 414 00:23:58,860 --> 00:24:00,510 I'll tell you guys what happened right before that. 415 00:24:00,510 --> 00:24:01,860 Give you a little bit of backstory. 416 00:24:01,860 --> 00:24:03,150 We were in the kitchen. 417 00:24:03,150 --> 00:24:06,780 He had just popped off at the mouth, was given an attitude. 418 00:24:06,780 --> 00:24:11,397 So I was like, "Okay, me too." 419 00:24:13,710 --> 00:24:16,020 So she took him in the backyard 420 00:24:16,020 --> 00:24:18,060 to word him up and be like, "What are you doing? 421 00:24:18,060 --> 00:24:19,920 You can't be given an attitude," like something like that. 422 00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:21,900 I missed the beginning of the conversation. 423 00:24:21,900 --> 00:24:23,520 By the time I click on it, 424 00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:26,197 all I hear is him telling his mom, 425 00:24:26,197 --> 00:24:30,240 "Oh yeah, well why does Nina gotta be sarcastic?" 426 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:32,610 And little does he know my sarcasm 427 00:24:32,610 --> 00:24:37,200 is what paid for this house. 428 00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:41,163 So you're welcome. 429 00:24:45,030 --> 00:24:49,353 But now I have to chime in on my camera speaker. 430 00:24:57,330 --> 00:25:01,743 Oh yeah, I'm sarcastic, that hurt your feelings? 431 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:06,510 Oh well, if Nina stops being sarcastic, 432 00:25:06,510 --> 00:25:10,563 you start being homeless. 433 00:25:25,260 --> 00:25:28,410 We had another big change happen for us. 434 00:25:28,410 --> 00:25:30,600 'Cause I was born and raised in California. 435 00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:32,670 Spent my whole life there. 436 00:25:32,670 --> 00:25:33,503 Thank you. 437 00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:39,183 So never did I imagine that in the middle of a pandemic 438 00:25:39,183 --> 00:25:43,503 that I would be moving to Nashville, Tennessee. 439 00:25:53,670 --> 00:25:54,720 Thank you. 440 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:59,170 Listen, that's very kind of you to cheer for that 441 00:26:00,390 --> 00:26:02,100 because I am well aware 442 00:26:02,100 --> 00:26:04,710 that people from Nashville do not like 443 00:26:04,710 --> 00:26:08,943 Californians moving here. 444 00:26:11,854 --> 00:26:13,354 And hey, I get it. 445 00:26:14,670 --> 00:26:17,643 Me either, let's cut it off after me. 446 00:26:20,370 --> 00:26:22,833 This is getting ridiculous. 447 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:27,180 House prices are through the roof, traffic is insane, 448 00:26:27,180 --> 00:26:30,243 this is not the Nashville I remember moving to. 449 00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:41,695 Learning a lot being a California girl, living in the South. 450 00:26:41,695 --> 00:26:46,695 ♪ 'Cause it's different here ♪ 451 00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:49,020 I've learned when I go to a restaurant, 452 00:26:49,020 --> 00:26:51,450 if I order an iced tea, it automatically comes 453 00:26:51,450 --> 00:26:53,163 with three pounds of sugar in it. 454 00:26:56,850 --> 00:27:00,120 Y'all call that sweet tea. 455 00:27:00,120 --> 00:27:04,833 We call it diabetea. 456 00:27:09,690 --> 00:27:11,340 Learning a lot. 457 00:27:11,340 --> 00:27:13,980 Very simple things like when I'm in Los Angeles, 458 00:27:13,980 --> 00:27:15,907 if I go to a store and they're like, 459 00:27:15,907 --> 00:27:17,550 "Can I help you find anything?" 460 00:27:17,550 --> 00:27:18,690 I'm like, "I'm okay." 461 00:27:18,690 --> 00:27:20,797 And if I'm feeling really friendly that day I am like, 462 00:27:20,797 --> 00:27:22,527 "I'm okay, thanks." 463 00:27:23,580 --> 00:27:25,833 That's it, that's where it ends. 464 00:27:27,060 --> 00:27:30,660 Then I got to Nashville. 465 00:27:30,660 --> 00:27:32,313 I'm at TJ Maxx one day. 466 00:27:34,230 --> 00:27:37,777 I can hear the ladies in the row next to me. 467 00:27:37,777 --> 00:27:40,207 "Can I help you find anything?" 468 00:27:40,207 --> 00:27:43,617 "I'm all right, but thank you so much for asking." 469 00:27:46,657 --> 00:27:50,647 "It's my pleasure, it's a beautiful day outside." 470 00:27:50,647 --> 00:27:51,757 "Yes it is." 471 00:27:51,757 --> 00:27:53,880 "But they say it's gonna rain about three o'clock. 472 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:55,023 Make sure you get home before the traffic. 473 00:27:55,023 --> 00:27:56,448 It's gonna be a mess." 474 00:27:56,448 --> 00:28:00,357 "Bless your heart." 475 00:28:10,021 --> 00:28:12,210 I was like, "Ooh, I don't know if I have energy 476 00:28:12,210 --> 00:28:15,927 for the South." 477 00:28:16,811 --> 00:28:18,000 I don't know how to do it. 478 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:19,923 Like who stops talking first? 479 00:28:21,900 --> 00:28:23,460 Then I look around the corner 480 00:28:23,460 --> 00:28:25,224 and neither one of them even worked there. 481 00:28:34,140 --> 00:28:35,880 And then somebody told me this. 482 00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:39,330 They were like, "Hey, when people say bless your heart, 483 00:28:39,330 --> 00:28:41,580 they can mean it in a good way or a bad way." 484 00:28:48,986 --> 00:28:53,319 And I was like, "What, like how you do a bad bless?" 485 00:28:54,690 --> 00:28:56,070 And they're like, "No, trust me. 486 00:28:56,070 --> 00:28:58,227 Sometimes that's not what they mean." 487 00:28:59,940 --> 00:29:04,200 So now anytime somebody tells me, "Bless your heart," 488 00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:08,224 just to be safe, I reply with, "Bless your heart." 489 00:29:10,586 --> 00:29:12,623 Yeah, I wish you would bless my heart. 490 00:29:13,980 --> 00:29:18,003 Bless it again, go ahead. 491 00:29:26,580 --> 00:29:28,980 It's kind of like the old fighting words at church. 492 00:29:28,980 --> 00:29:33,123 I'm gonna pray for you. 493 00:29:35,111 --> 00:29:38,403 Oh, that's funny 'cause I'm already praying for you. 494 00:29:40,013 --> 00:29:42,063 Yeah, you been on my prayer wall. 495 00:29:43,571 --> 00:29:45,813 About to lay hands on you too, say I won't. 496 00:30:00,900 --> 00:30:02,043 Learning a lot. 497 00:30:04,710 --> 00:30:08,220 When we first got to Nashville, we were trying to figure out 498 00:30:08,220 --> 00:30:11,100 what part of the city we wanted to live in. 499 00:30:11,100 --> 00:30:12,930 Like where do we fit in? 500 00:30:12,930 --> 00:30:14,550 Where do we vibe with, 501 00:30:14,550 --> 00:30:17,280 finding out this county has good schools, 502 00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:18,960 this county doesn't. 503 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:22,105 This county believes in COVID, this county doesn't. 504 00:30:28,980 --> 00:30:30,363 Where do we fit? 505 00:30:31,530 --> 00:30:32,917 And I would tell my friends, I'd be like, 506 00:30:32,917 --> 00:30:34,140 "Hey, I wanna live somewhere 507 00:30:34,140 --> 00:30:35,340 where I could get a lot of land." 508 00:30:35,340 --> 00:30:37,410 And they're like, "Okay, you wanna head South." 509 00:30:37,410 --> 00:30:39,330 I'm like, "Okay, cool, co, co, co, cool. 510 00:30:39,330 --> 00:30:42,630 But I also don't want my neighbor to be racist. 511 00:30:42,630 --> 00:30:46,740 So how far South?" 512 00:30:46,740 --> 00:30:50,430 You know what I mean? 513 00:30:50,430 --> 00:30:53,160 Like are we talking Franklin or Pulaski? 514 00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:56,583 Like how far? 515 00:31:04,558 --> 00:31:08,760 Because when you get to the deep, deep South, it's scary. 516 00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:10,173 I've seen movies. 517 00:31:11,610 --> 00:31:13,023 I'm not trying to do that. 518 00:31:14,430 --> 00:31:17,330 I mean if they have a TJ Maxx there, I will pray about it. 519 00:31:19,830 --> 00:31:21,240 And I'm a good neighbor. 520 00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:22,773 Like State Farm, I'm there. 521 00:31:24,750 --> 00:31:26,040 I love my neighbors. 522 00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:27,660 I'm the one that has everybody's phone number. 523 00:31:27,660 --> 00:31:29,340 And if I haven't seen you in a while, 524 00:31:29,340 --> 00:31:30,367 I will send you a text. 525 00:31:30,367 --> 00:31:32,460 "Are you good, do I need to do a welfare check? 526 00:31:32,460 --> 00:31:34,440 I got your back." 527 00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:35,640 'Cause I love my neighbors. 528 00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:38,310 Every holiday season I'm gonna get my neighbors a gift. 529 00:31:38,310 --> 00:31:39,143 Not the whole neighborhood, 530 00:31:39,143 --> 00:31:41,420 just the houses I can see from a front window, 531 00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:45,030 because I love my neighbors, 532 00:31:45,030 --> 00:31:46,443 as long as they love me. 533 00:31:47,670 --> 00:31:50,463 And I know that's not how the Bible verse goes, 534 00:31:51,930 --> 00:31:53,430 but that is my interpretation. 535 00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:56,910 This is not the new King James version. 536 00:31:57,930 --> 00:31:59,617 This is a new Queen Anjelah version. 537 00:32:03,060 --> 00:32:05,373 This is Anjelah 5:14. 538 00:32:07,207 --> 00:32:10,677 "Do unto me as you wanna get done." 539 00:32:14,460 --> 00:32:16,260 That's how you say amen in my Bible. 540 00:32:23,670 --> 00:32:25,044 You could come to my Bible study, 541 00:32:27,300 --> 00:32:28,503 it's on Tuesdays. 542 00:32:30,210 --> 00:32:31,173 Learning a lot. 543 00:32:32,580 --> 00:32:34,740 One thing I learned right out the gate 544 00:32:34,740 --> 00:32:38,232 is allergies are a whole different beast in the South. 545 00:32:41,370 --> 00:32:42,990 Because when I live in Los Angeles, 546 00:32:42,990 --> 00:32:45,300 we don't really get all the seasons. 547 00:32:45,300 --> 00:32:49,560 We get summer and fire. 548 00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:52,920 So Zyrtec works just fine there. 549 00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:54,570 Then I get here, come to find out 550 00:32:54,570 --> 00:32:56,220 Zyrtec lost their subscription or something, 551 00:32:56,220 --> 00:32:57,900 it did not work. 552 00:32:57,900 --> 00:33:00,360 One day I went to pour the Zyrtec pill in my hand 553 00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:02,223 and the wind just blew it off. 554 00:33:03,750 --> 00:33:05,577 It was like, "Don't bother." 555 00:33:08,010 --> 00:33:09,990 It's so fun waking up every morning 556 00:33:09,990 --> 00:33:11,703 playing COVID or allergies. 557 00:33:14,340 --> 00:33:18,150 Do you guys know that game? 558 00:33:18,150 --> 00:33:19,380 where you wake up in the morning 559 00:33:19,380 --> 00:33:22,080 and your sinuses are doing a weird thing 560 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:24,900 and you're like, "Wait a minute, hold on. 561 00:33:24,900 --> 00:33:26,673 Am I dying or did I have dairy? 562 00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:29,220 Can I taste anything? 563 00:33:29,220 --> 00:33:31,197 Gimme some peanut butter, can I taste?" 564 00:33:32,070 --> 00:33:34,470 I was actually really lucky for the first two years 565 00:33:34,470 --> 00:33:37,140 I did not get COVID at all. 566 00:33:37,140 --> 00:33:40,083 And then earlier this year she got me loho. 567 00:33:43,740 --> 00:33:45,213 She gets around that one. 568 00:33:48,060 --> 00:33:49,980 At this point I know more people who have had it 569 00:33:49,980 --> 00:33:51,840 than who have not had it. 570 00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:54,480 I know people who have had it with no symptoms whatsoever 571 00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:57,120 and I know people personally who have passed away from it. 572 00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:58,740 So my heart goes out to anybody here 573 00:33:58,740 --> 00:34:00,780 who has lost somebody from COVID. 574 00:34:00,780 --> 00:34:03,060 I've been tested for it many times 575 00:34:03,060 --> 00:34:04,740 and the first time I got tested, 576 00:34:04,740 --> 00:34:06,330 my friends try to warn me about it. 577 00:34:06,330 --> 00:34:08,280 They were like, "Yo, it's intense." 578 00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:10,650 And it actually wasn't that bad 579 00:34:10,650 --> 00:34:12,565 probably 'cause they let me do it myself. 580 00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:17,130 Yeah, they gave me the Q-tip 581 00:34:17,130 --> 00:34:18,450 and they're like, "Okay, you wanna go 582 00:34:18,450 --> 00:34:20,160 all the way in your sinuses?" 583 00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:21,783 And I was like, "Okay. 584 00:34:24,090 --> 00:34:25,840 Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. 585 00:34:27,630 --> 00:34:30,623 How about I just put it in my nostril and I wiggle it a lot. 586 00:34:32,437 --> 00:34:33,360 Can you test boogers? 587 00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:34,810 I'll give you some of those." 588 00:34:38,550 --> 00:34:41,760 The second time I got COVID tested, the nurse did it 589 00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:44,070 and he went all the way up in there 590 00:34:44,070 --> 00:34:46,143 to where like my eyelids started closing. 591 00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:51,537 I was like, "Whoa, you're manually closing my eyelid." 592 00:34:54,180 --> 00:34:56,307 He's like, "It's not that far up there." 593 00:34:57,300 --> 00:34:59,300 I was like, "Nah bro, you're in my brain 594 00:35:00,750 --> 00:35:03,150 like you're giving basic commands at this point. 595 00:35:04,419 --> 00:35:06,760 Like if I punch you, it's not my fault you did it." 596 00:35:09,450 --> 00:35:10,800 He's like, "Well I'm sorry." 597 00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:12,300 I was like, "No, no, no, don't apologize. 598 00:35:12,300 --> 00:35:13,133 Just while you're up there, 599 00:35:13,133 --> 00:35:14,850 do you mind scraping out some of my childhood trauma? 600 00:35:14,850 --> 00:35:18,327 That'd be great." 601 00:35:25,350 --> 00:35:27,550 Could you imagine if that was a real option? 602 00:35:29,070 --> 00:35:32,193 Get your childhood trauma scraped out with a COVID test. 603 00:35:33,030 --> 00:35:35,190 You'd catch me at the CVS pharmacy drive through 604 00:35:35,190 --> 00:35:36,213 like once a week. 605 00:35:38,940 --> 00:35:41,827 They're like, "Can we help you?" 606 00:35:41,827 --> 00:35:45,270 "Hi, I'm here for my COVID test also, when I was eight, 607 00:35:45,270 --> 00:35:46,822 my mom forgot me at the store." 608 00:35:55,710 --> 00:35:58,560 Another thing I've learned living in the South 609 00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:00,423 is the bugs are bigger. 610 00:36:02,130 --> 00:36:05,253 Y'all got some Nashville geographic stuff happening here. 611 00:36:08,730 --> 00:36:12,093 Like in California we have bugs, but our bugs are cute. 612 00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:16,050 Then I get to Nashville, 613 00:36:16,050 --> 00:36:17,940 I went to get in my shower one morning. 614 00:36:17,940 --> 00:36:20,280 There was a spider in my shower. 615 00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:23,610 Now this spider was so big, 616 00:36:23,610 --> 00:36:26,613 I thought I was interrupting him. 617 00:36:27,540 --> 00:36:29,490 I did, I went to open the shower curtain 618 00:36:29,490 --> 00:36:31,540 and I was like, "Oh my God, I'm so sorry. 619 00:36:33,604 --> 00:36:35,754 I didn't know anybody was in here, my bad." 620 00:36:37,950 --> 00:36:40,053 He was big, and he was furry too. 621 00:36:41,010 --> 00:36:42,240 Yeah, I didn't know if I should brush it or smush it. 622 00:36:42,240 --> 00:36:43,423 I didn't know. 623 00:36:44,477 --> 00:36:46,743 He was so furry, he had dander. 624 00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:52,370 I need my Zyrtec pill just for the spider dander. 625 00:36:53,370 --> 00:36:55,080 I was like, "Sir, the Head & Shoulders is right there. 626 00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:55,913 Help yourself." 627 00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:01,260 If I ever have to kill a spider that big, 628 00:37:01,260 --> 00:37:03,420 I am morally conflicted, 629 00:37:03,420 --> 00:37:05,283 because at that point that's a pet. 630 00:37:07,050 --> 00:37:09,100 Put a collar on that thing, that's Bubba. 631 00:37:11,010 --> 00:37:12,513 Bubba had plans that day. 632 00:37:13,909 --> 00:37:16,309 He was just getting started, he's in the shower. 633 00:37:17,700 --> 00:37:18,550 That's messed up. 634 00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:23,910 If you ever have to kill a spider that big, 635 00:37:23,910 --> 00:37:25,413 you could hear the crunch. 636 00:37:27,254 --> 00:37:28,530 And if you hear the crunch, 637 00:37:28,530 --> 00:37:30,543 you know that thing had a soul. 638 00:37:33,720 --> 00:37:34,857 That's messed up. 639 00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:39,077 I used to kill any spider or bug that was around me 640 00:37:39,077 --> 00:37:40,830 'cause I don't like bugs at all. 641 00:37:40,830 --> 00:37:43,590 But over the past couple years I have this new found respect 642 00:37:43,590 --> 00:37:45,960 for nature and insects. 643 00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:47,940 So now if I ever see a spider in my house, 644 00:37:47,940 --> 00:37:50,880 what I like to do is scoop it up in a container, 645 00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:54,000 take it outside, throw it in a bush, 646 00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,073 and then immediately go like this. 647 00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:04,590 But if I'm left with no choice 648 00:38:04,590 --> 00:38:06,150 and I have to kill a spider, 649 00:38:06,150 --> 00:38:09,213 I now like to start with an apology. 650 00:38:12,847 --> 00:38:17,193 "Listen sir, I know you weren't expecting this today. 651 00:38:18,180 --> 00:38:19,680 I'll be honest, neither was I. 652 00:38:20,940 --> 00:38:23,010 Truth is I don't know you. 653 00:38:23,010 --> 00:38:25,800 You could be poisonous and you could kill me. 654 00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:28,180 So at this point, it's either me or you 655 00:38:30,060 --> 00:38:34,107 and I have chosen you." 656 00:38:40,890 --> 00:38:44,793 There was this one night I was home alone by myself, 657 00:38:47,370 --> 00:38:48,795 because that's what home alone means. 658 00:38:51,690 --> 00:38:53,460 And I was watching the "Night Stalker". 659 00:38:53,460 --> 00:38:55,320 Did you guys see that one? 660 00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:58,170 The documentary about the serial killer 661 00:38:58,170 --> 00:39:01,380 that was in Southern California like back in the eighties. 662 00:39:01,380 --> 00:39:03,270 So I'm home alone watching this show. 663 00:39:03,270 --> 00:39:05,100 Super creepy, episode's done, 664 00:39:05,100 --> 00:39:06,330 I turn the TV off, 665 00:39:06,330 --> 00:39:09,873 and all of a sudden I hear this on my front window. 666 00:39:14,130 --> 00:39:17,727 I said, "Nope." 667 00:39:21,090 --> 00:39:22,740 I ran to my room. 668 00:39:22,740 --> 00:39:25,143 I put on every piece of clothing that I own. 669 00:39:26,220 --> 00:39:27,840 I said, "If he's gonna try to assault me, 670 00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:29,598 he's gonna have to work real hard." 671 00:39:34,980 --> 00:39:36,330 I don't have no weapons in the house. 672 00:39:36,330 --> 00:39:37,920 What's my self-defense weapon? 673 00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:42,033 Denim, three pair. 674 00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:48,900 After a while, nobody came in the house, 675 00:39:48,900 --> 00:39:50,733 but I kept hearing the noise. 676 00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:55,320 Finally, I go to the window, 677 00:39:55,320 --> 00:39:57,360 I move the curtain and I look outside 678 00:39:57,360 --> 00:40:00,150 and it's not a psychopath trying to kill me, 679 00:40:00,150 --> 00:40:05,150 it was a mosquito the size of a bald eagle. 680 00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:12,660 Or maybe it was a cicada, I don't know. 681 00:40:12,660 --> 00:40:14,160 I never seen a cicada in my life. 682 00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:17,490 But everybody kept telling me, "Oh, it's cicada season." 683 00:40:17,490 --> 00:40:19,650 Maybe it was one of those. 684 00:40:19,650 --> 00:40:20,940 Maybe it was a mix of both. 685 00:40:20,940 --> 00:40:22,592 Maybe it was a muscada, I don't know. 686 00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:28,053 Some Nashville geographic stuff happening. 687 00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:32,250 This was the kicker for me though. 688 00:40:32,250 --> 00:40:34,800 There was one night I was driving home 689 00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:37,050 and I'm pulling into my driveway 690 00:40:37,050 --> 00:40:40,650 and what do I see a snake slithering across? 691 00:40:40,650 --> 00:40:42,780 That's where I draw the line right there. 692 00:40:42,780 --> 00:40:44,160 That's where I was like, "All right, 693 00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:46,080 you know what Nashville, bless your heart." 694 00:40:51,630 --> 00:40:53,733 This is getting ridiculous. 695 00:40:54,780 --> 00:40:57,810 I'm not a big fan of wild snakes. 696 00:40:57,810 --> 00:40:59,670 Pet snakes I'm okay with. 697 00:40:59,670 --> 00:41:01,170 Like if there was a snake right here 698 00:41:01,170 --> 00:41:03,063 and he came with a co-signer. 699 00:41:04,350 --> 00:41:05,910 Like he came with a guy 700 00:41:05,910 --> 00:41:08,490 that was like, "Oh yeah, that's my pet, he's cool." 701 00:41:08,490 --> 00:41:11,295 I like that snake, that's a good snake. 702 00:41:11,295 --> 00:41:16,290 Him, I don't know him. 703 00:41:16,290 --> 00:41:19,260 He probably had that snake since he was a baby. 704 00:41:19,260 --> 00:41:23,613 He probably just ate a baby. 705 00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:27,000 Pet snakes I'm okay with. 706 00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:30,540 Like, you know how sometimes you go to a real touristy area 707 00:41:30,540 --> 00:41:31,830 and there'll be that one guy 708 00:41:31,830 --> 00:41:35,010 with like a hundred pound snake around his neck 709 00:41:35,010 --> 00:41:36,390 and he's just walking around. 710 00:41:36,390 --> 00:41:38,970 He's like, "Yeah, you wanna take a picture with my snake?" 711 00:41:38,970 --> 00:41:40,227 I'm like, "I'll do it." 712 00:41:41,220 --> 00:41:43,290 He's like, "All right, 20 bucks." 713 00:41:43,290 --> 00:41:44,790 Yeah, I don't need no picture. 714 00:41:47,487 --> 00:41:49,350 But the point is, I was down. 715 00:41:49,350 --> 00:41:51,573 I was gonna do it if it was free, 716 00:41:53,070 --> 00:41:55,053 because free is my love language. 717 00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:01,233 Learning a lot. 718 00:42:02,250 --> 00:42:05,430 Being a California girl living in the South, 719 00:42:05,430 --> 00:42:10,430 I actually had my very first tornado warning experience. 720 00:42:14,490 --> 00:42:16,080 And like I said, I'm from California. 721 00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:20,820 We don't get tornadoes in California, we get earthquakes. 722 00:42:20,820 --> 00:42:23,070 Now, earthquakes are scary for people 723 00:42:23,070 --> 00:42:25,050 who have never experienced one, 724 00:42:25,050 --> 00:42:27,030 but actually they're not that bad. 725 00:42:27,030 --> 00:42:28,740 To be honest, I will take an earthquake 726 00:42:28,740 --> 00:42:30,933 over a tornado any day. 727 00:42:31,770 --> 00:42:36,770 Like lemme tell you, gimme a 3.5, a solid four. 728 00:42:38,220 --> 00:42:39,780 I will ride that quake. 729 00:42:39,780 --> 00:42:44,133 Like hey. 730 00:42:49,740 --> 00:42:54,603 But a tornado though, I don't know anything about tornadoes. 731 00:42:55,590 --> 00:42:59,283 This is what happened. 732 00:43:01,140 --> 00:43:05,520 We were asleep, it was 3:00 AM. 733 00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:08,490 I get one of those amber alerts on my phone, 734 00:43:08,490 --> 00:43:10,470 the alert that goes off real loud. 735 00:43:10,470 --> 00:43:11,550 And I was like, "Okay, first of all, 736 00:43:11,550 --> 00:43:15,040 what child is getting kidnapped at 3:00 AM 737 00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:18,453 that they need to wake me up to tell me about it. 738 00:43:19,710 --> 00:43:24,390 What VIP child is this 739 00:43:24,390 --> 00:43:27,210 that they think at 3:00 AM I'm gonna run outside 740 00:43:27,210 --> 00:43:31,647 looking for Honda Civics?" 741 00:43:32,730 --> 00:43:35,223 A silver one, it's always silver. 742 00:43:43,020 --> 00:43:47,220 I check my phone, whose kid is this? 743 00:43:47,220 --> 00:43:50,340 And it says, "Tornado warning, 744 00:43:50,340 --> 00:43:53,340 take cover now in a basement." 745 00:43:53,340 --> 00:43:55,080 Ooh, my heart started beating so fast. 746 00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:57,000 I said, "Oh my God, do we even have a basement? 747 00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:57,950 I don't even know." 748 00:43:59,010 --> 00:43:59,910 Because I'm from California, 749 00:43:59,910 --> 00:44:01,350 we don't do basements in California. 750 00:44:01,350 --> 00:44:03,923 That's dangerous, 'cause there could be an earthquake. 751 00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:06,367 I wake up my husband, I was like, 752 00:44:06,367 --> 00:44:08,490 "Babe, babe, we got an alert on the phone. 753 00:44:08,490 --> 00:44:09,900 It says there's gonna be a tornado. 754 00:44:09,900 --> 00:44:12,500 We gotta go in the basement, do we have a basement?" 755 00:44:13,470 --> 00:44:15,150 Now my husband is an army brat. 756 00:44:15,150 --> 00:44:16,590 He grew up everywhere. 757 00:44:16,590 --> 00:44:19,387 He spends a lot of time in Kansas and he was like, 758 00:44:19,387 --> 00:44:21,900 "Oh, we used to get these all the time. 759 00:44:21,900 --> 00:44:23,370 Don't even worry about it. 760 00:44:23,370 --> 00:44:27,447 Just go back to sleep." 761 00:44:29,940 --> 00:44:30,813 To sleep. 762 00:44:33,300 --> 00:44:34,550 But they just woke me up. 763 00:44:37,018 --> 00:44:38,818 I don't think that's what they want. 764 00:44:40,380 --> 00:44:42,120 He was like, "What county is it in? 765 00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:43,530 Oh yeah, that's like five miles away. 766 00:44:43,530 --> 00:44:45,440 We're good, we could watch it from the front." 767 00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:56,610 He went back to sleep, wasn't even stressed at all. 768 00:44:56,610 --> 00:44:59,547 I got up, I said, "Oh no, this is an emergency." 769 00:45:00,870 --> 00:45:03,750 We sleep with one of those sleep sound machines 770 00:45:03,750 --> 00:45:05,730 that plays like the rain sounds. 771 00:45:05,730 --> 00:45:07,779 So we were already in the midst of a storm. 772 00:45:09,390 --> 00:45:11,220 We had our own storm going on. 773 00:45:11,220 --> 00:45:14,040 It was on surround sounds, it was real loud. 774 00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:16,830 There was stuff blowing up on the windows, 775 00:45:16,830 --> 00:45:18,360 but I didn't even notice 'cause I just thought 776 00:45:18,360 --> 00:45:20,010 it was a good episode that night. 777 00:45:21,720 --> 00:45:25,227 I was like, "Ooh, this one's realistic, favorite." 778 00:45:32,471 --> 00:45:36,420 I get up, I turn the sleep machine off 779 00:45:36,420 --> 00:45:41,420 and that is when we can hear the tornado sirens outside. 780 00:45:48,090 --> 00:45:50,616 Then my husband, "Go, go, go, get up, go. 781 00:45:50,616 --> 00:45:55,616 Go, get up, go." 782 00:45:55,760 --> 00:46:00,000 What? 783 00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:01,458 But you said we can watch it. 784 00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:06,600 We both start freaking out. 785 00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:08,610 I'm grabbing things we don't even need 786 00:46:08,610 --> 00:46:13,203 like Windex, a stapler. 787 00:46:15,115 --> 00:46:19,365 Where do we go? 788 00:46:29,250 --> 00:46:30,899 Turns out we do have a basement. 789 00:46:34,470 --> 00:46:37,233 Guess where it is, outside? 790 00:46:39,420 --> 00:46:41,247 Like we're in the "Wizard of Oz". 791 00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:45,250 We keep it locked for safety 792 00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:51,483 and we keep the key in the junk drawer in the kitchen. 793 00:46:55,380 --> 00:46:57,990 You highly underestimate what you consider junk 794 00:46:57,990 --> 00:47:00,213 until you're in an emergency situation. 795 00:47:02,880 --> 00:47:06,480 I don't know how you guys keep your junk drawers at home. 796 00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:08,343 Maybe you're highly organized. 797 00:47:09,240 --> 00:47:11,280 I open up my drawer, I gotta sift through 798 00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:16,280 a bunch of dead batteries, expired coupons, 799 00:47:16,500 --> 00:47:19,290 hella rubber bands. 800 00:47:19,290 --> 00:47:21,930 We don't even use rubber bands, 801 00:47:21,930 --> 00:47:24,090 but every time we get one we gotta save it. 802 00:47:24,090 --> 00:47:24,923 Why? 803 00:47:26,310 --> 00:47:28,560 What is so sacred about a rubber band 804 00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:29,960 that we can't throw it away. 805 00:47:30,900 --> 00:47:32,790 Whether it came wrapped around the newspaper 806 00:47:32,790 --> 00:47:34,651 or asparagus, it's in the drawer now. 807 00:47:37,170 --> 00:47:39,670 And that asparagus rubber band, that's a good one. 808 00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:44,580 Woo, we better save this. 809 00:47:51,630 --> 00:47:53,703 Got about 86 keys in here. 810 00:47:54,768 --> 00:47:57,603 We don't even have 86 locks. 811 00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:00,810 Finally find the basement key. 812 00:48:00,810 --> 00:48:03,990 We go outside, unlock the door, get down into the basement. 813 00:48:03,990 --> 00:48:05,640 And that is when we realize 814 00:48:05,640 --> 00:48:09,630 that we are fully unprepared for this situation. 815 00:48:09,630 --> 00:48:13,350 We have no emergency necessities down there, no water, 816 00:48:13,350 --> 00:48:16,080 no food, no batteries, nothing. 817 00:48:16,080 --> 00:48:19,353 Just me, my husband, and hella spiders. 818 00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:24,420 And they were all looking at me real suspect like too, 819 00:48:24,420 --> 00:48:28,533 like they recognized me. 820 00:48:36,697 --> 00:48:37,530 "That's her. 821 00:48:46,470 --> 00:48:50,553 Listen ma'am, I know you weren't expecting this today, 822 00:48:57,609 --> 00:48:59,691 but this is from a homie Bubba right here." 823 00:49:08,670 --> 00:49:10,410 While we were trying to figure out 824 00:49:10,410 --> 00:49:13,170 what part of the city we wanted to live in, 825 00:49:13,170 --> 00:49:16,320 my husband and I were staying in a studio apartment. 826 00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:17,280 Now, I don't know if anybody here 827 00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:19,200 has ever lived in a studio apartment before, 828 00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:23,040 but when you're young and single, that's banging. 829 00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:24,960 It's convenient. 830 00:49:24,960 --> 00:49:27,150 Like you'll be in your living room watching TV. 831 00:49:27,150 --> 00:49:28,020 You're like, "You know what? 832 00:49:28,020 --> 00:49:30,450 I'm tired, I wanna go lay down in the bedroom. 833 00:49:30,450 --> 00:49:34,353 Boom, already there. 834 00:49:36,660 --> 00:49:39,660 Convenient when you're young and single. 835 00:49:39,660 --> 00:49:43,140 However, studio apartment living when you're married 836 00:49:43,140 --> 00:49:45,813 isn't real conducive to staying married. 837 00:49:47,280 --> 00:49:49,500 Because you have no personal space. 838 00:49:49,500 --> 00:49:51,960 Like at our old house, if we got on each other's nerves, 839 00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:53,700 he goes to this room, I go to that room, 840 00:49:53,700 --> 00:49:55,170 we cool off, we're fine. 841 00:49:55,170 --> 00:49:56,610 Now in a studio apartment, 842 00:49:56,610 --> 00:49:59,310 if we get in an argument when we're done arguing, 843 00:49:59,310 --> 00:50:01,576 we just gotta keep looking at each other's stupid faces. 844 00:50:03,870 --> 00:50:05,170 You know how hard that is? 845 00:50:06,120 --> 00:50:07,323 That is challenging. 846 00:50:08,610 --> 00:50:10,960 That should be a TikTok challenge, do that one. 847 00:50:13,320 --> 00:50:15,060 And my husband's good looking, 848 00:50:15,060 --> 00:50:17,640 typically he's really fun to look at. 849 00:50:17,640 --> 00:50:19,050 But if we have been arguing, 850 00:50:19,050 --> 00:50:22,713 I will make all his pretty features real ugly, real quick. 851 00:50:24,420 --> 00:50:26,040 I'll be like, "You know what? 852 00:50:26,040 --> 00:50:28,140 You see how your teeth are perfectly straight 853 00:50:28,140 --> 00:50:29,730 and you don't need a retainer? 854 00:50:29,730 --> 00:50:30,873 That's annoying. 855 00:50:33,060 --> 00:50:34,650 And like we get it. 856 00:50:34,650 --> 00:50:36,870 You have perfect bone structure. 857 00:50:36,870 --> 00:50:40,245 Honestly, you have no character in your face, get a scar." 858 00:50:47,656 --> 00:50:49,140 If we get into an argument, 859 00:50:49,140 --> 00:50:51,330 my husband doesn't wanna call it an argument, 860 00:50:51,330 --> 00:50:53,337 he wants to call it a talkament. 861 00:50:54,900 --> 00:50:57,180 Just the fact that he wants to call it a talkament, 862 00:50:57,180 --> 00:50:59,484 to me, now we're in a full blown argument. 863 00:51:02,790 --> 00:51:04,410 He wants to call it a talkament 864 00:51:04,410 --> 00:51:06,270 because he wants to talk it out. 865 00:51:06,270 --> 00:51:07,740 Let's get to the bottom of it. 866 00:51:07,740 --> 00:51:10,020 Let's get to the root of the problem. 867 00:51:10,020 --> 00:51:12,060 And when my husband talks it out, 868 00:51:12,060 --> 00:51:13,620 he likes to talk in circles. 869 00:51:13,620 --> 00:51:15,170 Circles are his favorite shape. 870 00:51:16,860 --> 00:51:19,410 He likes to say the same thing he just said, 871 00:51:19,410 --> 00:51:24,303 but a little bit differently 'cause he's talking it out. 872 00:51:25,770 --> 00:51:27,360 And when my husband talks it out, 873 00:51:27,360 --> 00:51:29,760 he likes to ask a lot of questions, 874 00:51:29,760 --> 00:51:32,370 questions, questions, questions, questions. 875 00:51:32,370 --> 00:51:34,110 He thinks he's being inquisitive. 876 00:51:34,110 --> 00:51:35,670 I think that I'm on the stand 877 00:51:35,670 --> 00:51:38,103 and I need to defend myself in a court of law. 878 00:51:40,230 --> 00:51:42,270 Questions, questions, questions, questions. 879 00:51:42,270 --> 00:51:44,280 Yeah, I know you said that, but why? 880 00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:46,110 No, I know that's what you said, but why? 881 00:51:46,110 --> 00:51:46,943 I don't know why. 882 00:51:46,943 --> 00:51:49,173 Yes, you do, objection, badgering a witness. 883 00:51:51,300 --> 00:51:52,320 He's like, overruled. 884 00:51:52,320 --> 00:51:54,990 But why? 885 00:51:54,990 --> 00:51:57,810 No, I know that's what you said, but why? 886 00:51:57,810 --> 00:51:59,280 Because that's how I feel. 887 00:51:59,280 --> 00:52:00,390 Okay, that's your feelings. 888 00:52:00,390 --> 00:52:01,740 But what's your facts though? 889 00:52:01,740 --> 00:52:02,580 That's how you feel. 890 00:52:02,580 --> 00:52:04,440 But what are your facts to support your feelings? 891 00:52:04,440 --> 00:52:06,873 Oh, you're stupid, that's my facts. 892 00:52:09,090 --> 00:52:11,850 And it's not that my husband is stupid, 893 00:52:11,850 --> 00:52:15,057 it's just that I don't know how to talkament. 894 00:52:17,460 --> 00:52:20,160 I can start in a talkament, 895 00:52:20,160 --> 00:52:22,590 we're just having a conversation. 896 00:52:22,590 --> 00:52:26,433 We're both calm until he triggers me, 897 00:52:27,540 --> 00:52:30,003 which is like sentence number three. 898 00:52:31,590 --> 00:52:36,120 And then next thing you know, here come my emotions. 899 00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:39,270 They weren't even invited to this party, 900 00:52:39,270 --> 00:52:42,663 but they showed up ready to say some stuff. 901 00:52:43,860 --> 00:52:46,950 The more questions he asked, the more worked up they get 902 00:52:46,950 --> 00:52:50,583 questions, questions, questions, questions. 903 00:52:51,450 --> 00:52:55,083 Next thing you know, here go my emotions out of my mouth. 904 00:52:56,940 --> 00:52:58,410 And when I'm in an argument, 905 00:52:58,410 --> 00:53:00,896 my words come out like little shanks. 906 00:53:03,840 --> 00:53:06,543 He's over here trying to talkament and I'm just like. 907 00:53:18,717 --> 00:53:21,843 And now I have a bloody word massacre to clean up. 908 00:53:28,680 --> 00:53:33,680 Sorry, I didn't mean it. 909 00:53:35,840 --> 00:53:40,743 I was just trying to win. 910 00:53:42,930 --> 00:53:44,488 My therapist hates that joke. 911 00:53:51,720 --> 00:53:53,310 I am working on it though. 912 00:53:53,310 --> 00:53:55,530 I am working on my communication. 913 00:53:55,530 --> 00:53:58,470 I wish I could be more like my friend Maya. 914 00:53:58,470 --> 00:54:01,560 She's so calm, cool, and collected all the time. 915 00:54:01,560 --> 00:54:02,767 One day I asked her, I was like, 916 00:54:02,767 --> 00:54:05,310 "Girl, do you ever get in an argument with your husband?" 917 00:54:05,310 --> 00:54:06,780 She was like, "Yes." 918 00:54:06,780 --> 00:54:08,730 She started telling me about a argument they got in 919 00:54:08,730 --> 00:54:10,320 and he had said something to her 920 00:54:10,320 --> 00:54:12,750 and she was like, "Okay, see, when you say that, 921 00:54:12,750 --> 00:54:15,060 it makes me feel like what you're saying 922 00:54:15,060 --> 00:54:16,380 is I'm doing it wrong." 923 00:54:16,380 --> 00:54:17,880 And then he was like, "Oh no, 924 00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:19,080 that's not how I meant it at all. 925 00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:21,030 I'm so sorry it came out that way." 926 00:54:21,030 --> 00:54:24,933 That was their argument. 927 00:54:33,780 --> 00:54:36,933 I'm sorry, what? 928 00:54:36,933 --> 00:54:40,380 How do you do that? 929 00:54:40,380 --> 00:54:42,759 Like how many COVID swabs do you need up there 930 00:54:45,900 --> 00:54:47,550 to respond like that? 931 00:54:47,550 --> 00:54:52,550 Like no emotions involved, just clearly communicating. 932 00:54:52,890 --> 00:54:57,090 When you say that, "It makes me feel like 933 00:54:57,090 --> 00:55:00,777 what you're saying is I'm doing it wrong." 934 00:55:02,100 --> 00:55:03,817 Me in that same conversation. 935 00:55:03,817 --> 00:55:05,823 "Oh, so I can't do nothing right then. 936 00:55:07,320 --> 00:55:10,377 Wow, so why you even married to me?" 937 00:55:23,642 --> 00:55:28,530 I am working on it. 938 00:55:28,530 --> 00:55:30,750 Living in a studio apartment when you're married, 939 00:55:30,750 --> 00:55:34,770 things that are normally easy are all of a sudden difficult 940 00:55:34,770 --> 00:55:36,510 like watching TV. 941 00:55:36,510 --> 00:55:38,040 In a studio apartment, 942 00:55:38,040 --> 00:55:40,950 you have to both wanna watch TV at the same time. 943 00:55:40,950 --> 00:55:43,800 Then you have to wanna watch the same thing 944 00:55:43,800 --> 00:55:46,983 at the same volume preference. 945 00:55:49,620 --> 00:55:53,373 Now, I don't know if my husband is hard of hearing, 946 00:55:55,020 --> 00:56:00,020 but to him, if the TV is not at volume 85 or above, 947 00:56:01,770 --> 00:56:03,813 it might as well be on mute. 948 00:56:05,820 --> 00:56:10,110 God forbid I bring the volume down to 65, 949 00:56:10,110 --> 00:56:13,089 he will passive aggressively put on the captions. 950 00:56:16,170 --> 00:56:18,033 It's his silent way of yelling at me. 951 00:56:20,400 --> 00:56:25,327 If my husband cannot feel the vibration of every word 952 00:56:26,310 --> 00:56:31,173 coming out of the TV, not loud enough. 953 00:56:32,040 --> 00:56:33,750 And we watch different stuff. 954 00:56:33,750 --> 00:56:36,810 My husband likes to watch UFC fights 955 00:56:36,810 --> 00:56:41,810 and the Hallmark channel, he's very diverse. 956 00:56:43,620 --> 00:56:47,013 He's into extreme violence and Candace Cameron Bure. 957 00:56:51,930 --> 00:56:55,890 Me, I just wanna watch anything murdery, rapey, 958 00:56:55,890 --> 00:56:57,273 those are my shows. 959 00:56:58,590 --> 00:57:03,489 All the crime shows. 960 00:57:03,489 --> 00:57:06,833 If there is not an investigation to be had, 961 00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:12,210 a bad guy to be caught, a soothing narrator voice 962 00:57:12,210 --> 00:57:13,380 telling me how the woman's body 963 00:57:13,380 --> 00:57:15,543 was dragged behind the building, 964 00:57:17,010 --> 00:57:21,843 then I don't wanna watch it. 965 00:57:26,626 --> 00:57:28,470 I like all the crime shows, 966 00:57:28,470 --> 00:57:30,810 whether it's a network procedural drama 967 00:57:30,810 --> 00:57:33,847 like "Law and Order", "NCIS", "SWAT', 968 00:57:33,847 --> 00:57:36,660 "Criminal Minds", "FBI". 969 00:57:36,660 --> 00:57:39,333 Like anything Dick Wolf, yes, I'm gonna watch that. 970 00:57:40,410 --> 00:57:42,787 But I also love the docuseries shows. 971 00:57:42,787 --> 00:57:47,787 "Forensic Files", "The First 48", that's my show. 972 00:57:49,920 --> 00:57:51,930 And I travel a lot with standup. 973 00:57:51,930 --> 00:57:53,760 So a lot of times I go to cities 974 00:57:53,760 --> 00:57:55,210 that are always on that show. 975 00:57:57,090 --> 00:57:59,557 And I'll arrive in that city and I'll be like, 976 00:57:59,557 --> 00:58:04,443 "Oh my God, I'm in Dade County. 977 00:58:06,540 --> 00:58:08,637 I could totally get murdered right now." 978 00:58:11,010 --> 00:58:15,810 Like I get all star struck. 979 00:58:15,810 --> 00:58:17,760 My favorite one is "Law and Order SVU". 980 00:58:19,051 --> 00:58:20,760 Yes. 981 00:58:20,760 --> 00:58:23,340 Anybody watching the spinoff "Organized Crime" 982 00:58:23,340 --> 00:58:24,490 with Detective Stabler? 983 00:58:26,400 --> 00:58:28,300 Let's talk about Stabler for a second. 984 00:58:30,120 --> 00:58:32,370 Christopher Meloni plays Detective Elliot Stabler. 985 00:58:32,370 --> 00:58:34,707 He was on "Law and Order SVU" for a very long time 986 00:58:34,707 --> 00:58:38,760 and then he left the show for 10 years 987 00:58:38,760 --> 00:58:40,383 and then he came back. 988 00:58:41,520 --> 00:58:44,013 Now I don't know what he did while he was away. 989 00:58:45,780 --> 00:58:47,040 I don't know what they call that, 990 00:58:47,040 --> 00:58:49,283 intermittent fasting, protein shakes, keto. 991 00:58:52,530 --> 00:58:54,420 I don't know what he did. 992 00:58:54,420 --> 00:58:57,003 But when he got on the scene, I got flustered. 993 00:58:59,070 --> 00:59:02,283 I did, I was like, "Oh my God Stabler, 994 00:59:07,110 --> 00:59:09,123 stop flirting with me." 995 00:59:13,200 --> 00:59:16,230 And the day after that premier episode, 996 00:59:16,230 --> 00:59:20,643 he posted on Instagram that it was his 60th birthday. 997 00:59:21,540 --> 00:59:23,463 And I was like, "Wait a minute. 998 00:59:24,990 --> 00:59:26,550 Hold on. 999 00:59:26,550 --> 00:59:28,554 Do I have a crush on my dad's friend?" 1000 00:59:31,315 --> 00:59:32,510 What, that's weird, 'cause Stabler can get it. 1001 00:59:38,880 --> 00:59:39,863 Let's go 60. 1002 00:59:43,560 --> 00:59:45,510 Watching TV with my husband is difficult, 1003 00:59:45,510 --> 00:59:48,240 but at least it's not watching TV with my dad. 1004 00:59:48,240 --> 00:59:51,510 That is a whole different experience. 1005 00:59:51,510 --> 00:59:52,800 Like if you come to the house 1006 00:59:52,800 --> 00:59:54,690 and you start watching a movie with my dad 1007 00:59:54,690 --> 00:59:56,580 and they say way too many cuss words, 1008 00:59:56,580 --> 00:59:58,980 he gets real religious. 1009 00:59:58,980 --> 01:00:01,147 God forbid they say the F word, he'll be like, 1010 01:00:01,147 --> 01:00:02,937 "Oh, forgive them Father." 1011 01:00:05,100 --> 01:00:07,830 My dad's the guy who during an action scene, 1012 01:00:07,830 --> 01:00:10,110 he is counting the amount of bullets 1013 01:00:10,110 --> 01:00:11,883 coming out of a gun for accuracy. 1014 01:00:14,490 --> 01:00:17,670 And the second they go over the allotted amount of bullets 1015 01:00:17,670 --> 01:00:20,333 for that type of gun, he has something to say about it. 1016 01:00:21,690 --> 01:00:23,280 You think you're just watching a movie. 1017 01:00:23,280 --> 01:00:25,293 He's silently fact checking. 1018 01:00:30,324 --> 01:00:35,324 "Ah, come on, 47 bullets on a Glock, this isn't real." 1019 01:00:41,040 --> 01:00:44,523 Really dad, the bullets is what made it not real, 1020 01:00:47,610 --> 01:00:49,385 not the zombies they were shooting. 1021 01:00:56,250 --> 01:01:01,250 And why is it so awkward when you're watching a movie 1022 01:01:01,530 --> 01:01:05,283 with your parents and a sex scene comes on? 1023 01:01:11,195 --> 01:01:14,695 I am a grown adult and it is still awkward 1024 01:01:16,890 --> 01:01:19,830 and my dad makes it even worse, 1025 01:01:19,830 --> 01:01:22,503 because he gets visibly uncomfortable. 1026 01:01:23,430 --> 01:01:27,240 He starts shifting around in his seat, he's sweating, 1027 01:01:27,240 --> 01:01:29,100 mumbling things under his breath, 1028 01:01:29,100 --> 01:01:30,952 like great, now they're gonna do it. 1029 01:01:38,850 --> 01:01:43,850 Speaking of people doing it, I have a story. 1030 01:01:46,500 --> 01:01:48,810 When I was younger in my twenties, 1031 01:01:48,810 --> 01:01:51,480 I shared an apartment with my friend Vanessa. 1032 01:01:51,480 --> 01:01:56,220 And her room faced the apartment building across the way. 1033 01:01:56,220 --> 01:01:58,800 Well, there was a couple in that building 1034 01:01:58,800 --> 01:02:03,800 that they liked to do the S-E-X with the windows open 1035 01:02:04,860 --> 01:02:08,220 and the blinds open, like that was their jam. 1036 01:02:08,220 --> 01:02:10,920 So anytime they would start going at it, 1037 01:02:10,920 --> 01:02:13,770 she would call me on the phone in my room 1038 01:02:13,770 --> 01:02:15,000 and be like, "They're doing it again. 1039 01:02:15,000 --> 01:02:19,080 Hurry up, get over here." 1040 01:02:19,080 --> 01:02:20,247 And I'd be like, "Ew." 1041 01:02:21,773 --> 01:02:23,016 And then I go running over there. 1042 01:02:25,500 --> 01:02:26,730 But by the time I get there, 1043 01:02:26,730 --> 01:02:29,460 they already started closing the blinds and the windows. 1044 01:02:29,460 --> 01:02:31,260 I'm like, "Oh man, missed it again." 1045 01:02:32,666 --> 01:02:36,390 And not like I was gonna sit there and watch like a creeper. 1046 01:02:36,390 --> 01:02:41,390 But it is kind of a sight to be seen. 1047 01:02:44,130 --> 01:02:47,010 Like are you guys trying to tell me 1048 01:02:47,010 --> 01:02:48,480 that if you were walking down the street 1049 01:02:48,480 --> 01:02:50,940 in your neighborhood and you saw your neighbors 1050 01:02:50,940 --> 01:02:52,563 going at it in the front window, 1051 01:02:53,700 --> 01:02:55,173 you wouldn't give it a look. 1052 01:02:57,330 --> 01:03:00,153 You wouldn't be just minding your own business like. 1053 01:03:38,580 --> 01:03:42,333 You won't do a lap. 1054 01:03:45,330 --> 01:03:47,910 It's kind of like a car accident on the highway. 1055 01:03:47,910 --> 01:03:52,050 You don't want to see a car accident happen, 1056 01:03:52,050 --> 01:03:53,643 but if one is there, 1057 01:03:55,530 --> 01:03:57,453 you're gonna assess the situation. 1058 01:03:58,770 --> 01:04:00,360 Same thing, you see your neighbors 1059 01:04:00,360 --> 01:04:01,260 going at it in the window, 1060 01:04:01,260 --> 01:04:03,483 you just gotta assess the situation. 1061 01:04:05,246 --> 01:04:09,993 Ah, we got a fender bender. 1062 01:04:14,550 --> 01:04:18,840 Bender all the way over. 1063 01:04:32,010 --> 01:04:34,230 Living in a studio apartment when you're married, 1064 01:04:34,230 --> 01:04:35,970 it's very difficult. 1065 01:04:35,970 --> 01:04:37,410 But there is one good thing about it. 1066 01:04:37,410 --> 01:04:39,330 I will say this, one good thing, 1067 01:04:39,330 --> 01:04:43,290 we could only fit a smaller size bed in the apartment. 1068 01:04:43,290 --> 01:04:47,250 So my husband had no choice but to cuddle me at night, 1069 01:04:47,250 --> 01:04:49,530 which I love but he hates 1070 01:04:49,530 --> 01:04:52,443 because he says I'm the hottest person alive. 1071 01:04:55,050 --> 01:04:57,000 And to that I say, "thank you so much." 1072 01:04:59,670 --> 01:05:02,160 My husband says, "I'm like a furnace." 1073 01:05:02,160 --> 01:05:04,044 Any other furnaces in the building tonight? 1074 01:05:05,340 --> 01:05:08,970 Yeah, he'll get in the bed 1075 01:05:08,970 --> 01:05:11,720 and be like, "Seriously baby, you don't feel yourself?" 1076 01:05:13,830 --> 01:05:18,830 We like to sleep with a bedroom at Sub-Zero temperatures. 1077 01:05:18,900 --> 01:05:23,760 Yeah, but I like all the blankets on 1078 01:05:23,760 --> 01:05:27,271 so I'm nice and cozy with my face a little bit cool. 1079 01:05:30,330 --> 01:05:35,330 He likes no blankets on, just skin to air contact, 1080 01:05:38,250 --> 01:05:42,033 psychopath. 1081 01:05:46,260 --> 01:05:51,260 I have to negotiate cuddle time with my husband. 1082 01:05:51,300 --> 01:05:53,910 Like he'll get in the bed and I try to cuddle him 1083 01:05:53,910 --> 01:05:56,220 and he'll be like, "Babe, come on, it's hot. 1084 01:05:56,220 --> 01:05:57,840 Seriously babe, it's hot. 1085 01:05:57,840 --> 01:06:00,000 I can't sleep if I'm hot, come on." 1086 01:06:00,000 --> 01:06:03,780 And I'll be like, "Just gimme two minutes of cuddling." 1087 01:06:03,780 --> 01:06:06,157 He'll be like, "Okay, fine." 1088 01:06:06,157 --> 01:06:07,906 "Siri set a timer for two minutes" 1089 01:06:14,520 --> 01:06:16,620 And if he even tries to pull away 1090 01:06:16,620 --> 01:06:18,157 before that buzzer goes off, I'm like, 1091 01:06:18,157 --> 01:06:20,278 "Nice try, 30 second penalty." 1092 01:06:26,760 --> 01:06:29,438 I got a tip for all the furnaces out there. 1093 01:06:29,438 --> 01:06:31,088 This is a tip, this is what I do. 1094 01:06:31,980 --> 01:06:36,480 I go to bed first and I pretend like I'm asleep 1095 01:06:36,480 --> 01:06:40,293 like an angel. 1096 01:06:41,970 --> 01:06:45,090 Then I wait for him to get in the bed, 1097 01:06:45,090 --> 01:06:46,800 get nice and comfortable. 1098 01:06:46,800 --> 01:06:48,930 This is the trick right here. 1099 01:06:48,930 --> 01:06:53,073 You gotta wait for his breathing to slow down. 1100 01:06:55,440 --> 01:06:58,080 Right when it gets nice and slow, 1101 01:06:58,080 --> 01:07:00,030 that's when you just spider leg him up. 1102 01:07:01,590 --> 01:07:03,363 Welcome to tarantula's web. 1103 01:07:06,900 --> 01:07:10,383 Try it. 1104 01:07:11,340 --> 01:07:15,570 If my husband tries to tell me that it's too hot to cuddle, 1105 01:07:15,570 --> 01:07:18,207 I'll be like, "Okay, can you rub my feet then?" 1106 01:07:19,350 --> 01:07:21,720 And I'm very grateful because anytime I ask my husband 1107 01:07:21,720 --> 01:07:23,670 to rub my feet, he will do it. 1108 01:07:23,670 --> 01:07:26,580 But it only lasts about two minutes. 1109 01:07:26,580 --> 01:07:27,580 And then he gives up 1110 01:07:29,070 --> 01:07:31,440 and then I have to tap my foot 1111 01:07:31,440 --> 01:07:33,453 to let him know he's not done yet. 1112 01:07:38,760 --> 01:07:39,593 Hello. 1113 01:07:41,741 --> 01:07:42,574 Boo boo. 1114 01:07:44,580 --> 01:07:47,103 It's not even time for your first 15 minute break. 1115 01:07:49,170 --> 01:07:50,163 Yellow. 1116 01:07:52,950 --> 01:07:55,440 And then he starts rubbing my feet again 1117 01:07:55,440 --> 01:07:59,610 for maybe another three minutes and then he just taps out. 1118 01:07:59,610 --> 01:08:01,620 And this is how my husband tells me 1119 01:08:01,620 --> 01:08:04,290 that he is done rubbing my feet. 1120 01:08:04,290 --> 01:08:07,563 He goes like this, "Ah, ugh" 1121 01:08:14,580 --> 01:08:18,090 He gets the most aggressive hand cramp. 1122 01:08:18,090 --> 01:08:22,005 Ugh, cancel all my plans this week. 1123 01:08:29,430 --> 01:08:33,600 When I do finally get my husband to cuddle me at night, 1124 01:08:33,600 --> 01:08:36,480 he likes to whisper sweet nothings, it's really cute. 1125 01:08:36,480 --> 01:08:40,800 He'll say things like, I just want you to get off me. 1126 01:08:45,180 --> 01:08:49,233 It's so romantic. 1127 01:08:54,960 --> 01:08:57,120 Living in a studio apartment when you're married 1128 01:08:57,120 --> 01:09:01,050 is difficult because you have no personal space. 1129 01:09:01,050 --> 01:09:04,320 It's like every time I turn around, my husband's there, 1130 01:09:04,320 --> 01:09:05,730 I turn around, he's right here, 1131 01:09:05,730 --> 01:09:07,140 turn around, he's right there. 1132 01:09:07,140 --> 01:09:08,160 Like, "Whoa, weren't you just here? 1133 01:09:08,160 --> 01:09:09,110 How'd you do that?" 1134 01:09:10,290 --> 01:09:12,990 Every time I turn around, he's there. 1135 01:09:12,990 --> 01:09:14,970 It reminds me of a song I know 1136 01:09:14,970 --> 01:09:18,510 called "Total Eclipse of the Heart". 1137 01:09:18,510 --> 01:09:19,910 You guys remember that song? 1138 01:09:21,660 --> 01:09:23,730 Well, I felt like it was time for a remake. 1139 01:09:23,730 --> 01:09:25,620 So I wrote some new lyrics, you wanna hear it? 1140 01:09:25,620 --> 01:09:26,453 Yeah. 1141 01:09:27,870 --> 01:09:29,470 Okay, I'll do it for you guys. 1142 01:09:30,840 --> 01:09:33,180 But here's the thing, I need your help. 1143 01:09:33,180 --> 01:09:34,980 - Yes. - I need you guys 1144 01:09:34,980 --> 01:09:36,963 to sing all the turn around parts. 1145 01:09:38,250 --> 01:09:40,380 - Do you know what I mean? - Yes. 1146 01:09:40,380 --> 01:09:42,318 All right, let's do a practice round. 1147 01:09:42,318 --> 01:09:44,257 Okay, 'cause only seven of you knew what I meant. 1148 01:09:47,100 --> 01:09:51,390 You guys do all the turn arounds but nothing else. 1149 01:09:51,390 --> 01:09:54,003 Practice round, here we go. 1150 01:09:54,962 --> 01:09:59,962 ♪ Turn around ♪ 1151 01:10:02,951 --> 01:10:05,790 ♪ Turn around ♪ 1152 01:10:05,790 --> 01:10:08,280 That was pretty good. 1153 01:10:08,280 --> 01:10:11,550 I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting it to be that good. 1154 01:10:11,550 --> 01:10:13,860 I don't know if they sat you guys in section 1155 01:10:13,860 --> 01:10:18,860 by Soprano and Alto, but that was harmonious. 1156 01:10:20,130 --> 01:10:22,170 Maybe you guys listened to the song on the way here. 1157 01:10:22,170 --> 01:10:25,563 I don't know, but it was fresh in your mind. 1158 01:10:26,550 --> 01:10:30,090 Okay, this is "Total Eclipse of the Heart" 1159 01:10:30,090 --> 01:10:33,090 remake based on my time living 1160 01:10:33,090 --> 01:10:34,990 in a studio apartment with my husband. 1161 01:10:36,480 --> 01:10:38,520 You guys do all the turn arounds. 1162 01:10:38,520 --> 01:10:40,770 I'll do everything else. 1163 01:10:40,770 --> 01:10:41,643 Here we go. 1164 01:10:42,690 --> 01:10:43,523 I'll start. 1165 01:10:46,126 --> 01:10:47,955 ♪ Turn around ♪ 1166 01:10:47,955 --> 01:10:51,080 ♪ Every now and then I get some time to myself ♪ 1167 01:10:51,080 --> 01:10:54,272 ♪ And then you ruin it by chewing too loud ♪ 1168 01:10:54,272 --> 01:10:56,134 ♪ Turn around ♪ 1169 01:10:56,134 --> 01:10:59,272 ♪ Every now and then I reminisce of the times ♪ 1170 01:10:59,272 --> 01:11:02,632 ♪ When I could pee without you being around ♪ 1171 01:11:02,632 --> 01:11:04,024 ♪ Turn around ♪ 1172 01:11:04,024 --> 01:11:05,214 ♪ There you go again ♪ 1173 01:11:05,214 --> 01:11:07,054 ♪ How did you get there so fast ♪ 1174 01:11:07,054 --> 01:11:09,926 ♪ Weren't you just standing right behind me somehow ♪ 1175 01:11:09,926 --> 01:11:11,685 ♪ Turn around ♪ 1176 01:11:11,685 --> 01:11:16,086 ♪ Oh my God, when will I be back inside a house ♪ 1177 01:11:16,086 --> 01:11:19,507 ♪ Where I can have more than one room ♪ 1178 01:11:19,507 --> 01:11:22,795 ♪ Where you're not near me when I Zoom ♪ 1179 01:11:22,795 --> 01:11:26,355 ♪ Where I don't have to hear you laugh ♪ 1180 01:11:26,355 --> 01:11:28,711 ♪ That makes me wanna kick your- ♪ 1181 01:11:28,711 --> 01:11:32,265 ♪ Once upon a time I had a room to myself ♪ 1182 01:11:32,265 --> 01:11:35,236 ♪ Now feels like a tiny motel ♪ 1183 01:11:35,236 --> 01:11:37,164 ♪ There's nothing I can do ♪ 1184 01:11:37,164 --> 01:11:41,450 ♪ I'm totally living in hell ♪ 1185 01:11:46,830 --> 01:11:48,813 Nashville, thank you so much. 1186 01:11:50,531 --> 01:11:51,687 I love you. 1187 01:12:03,548 --> 01:12:06,721 ♪ So, get on my level ♪ 1188 01:12:06,721 --> 01:12:09,097 ♪ Get on my level ♪ 1189 01:12:09,097 --> 01:12:13,081 ♪ You trying too hard, you're not on my level ♪ 1190 01:12:13,081 --> 01:12:15,524 ♪ So, get on my level ♪ 1191 01:12:15,524 --> 01:12:19,431 ♪ Don't care what they say, you're not on my level ♪ 1192 01:12:19,431 --> 01:12:22,516 ♪ So, get on my level ♪ 1193 01:12:22,516 --> 01:12:26,236 ♪ Game up, on my level ♪ 1194 01:12:26,236 --> 01:12:27,721 ♪ On my level ♪ 1195 01:12:41,859 --> 01:12:45,142 ♪ So, get on my level ♪ 1196 01:12:45,142 --> 01:12:47,545 ♪ Get on my level ♪ 1197 01:12:47,545 --> 01:12:51,415 ♪ You trying too hard, you're not on my level ♪ 1198 01:12:51,415 --> 01:12:53,911 ♪ So, get on my level ♪ 1199 01:12:53,911 --> 01:12:57,816 ♪ Don't care what they say, you're not on my level ♪ 1200 01:12:57,816 --> 01:13:00,862 ♪ So, get on my level ♪ 1201 01:13:00,862 --> 01:13:03,236 ♪ Game up, on my level ♪ 1202 01:13:03,236 --> 01:13:05,747 Pause for a hug break. 1203 01:13:05,747 --> 01:13:07,323 You guys, look what I found 1204 01:13:07,323 --> 01:13:09,513 that my husband was leaving behind, 1205 01:13:11,520 --> 01:13:14,640 - a very nice picture of me. - No I wasn't. 1206 01:13:14,640 --> 01:13:17,678 Just, who cares, right? 1207 01:13:17,678 --> 01:13:20,010 ♪ Tell me for sho ♪ 1208 01:13:20,010 --> 01:13:22,305 Banzo has not seen it empty yet. 1209 01:13:22,305 --> 01:13:23,415 ♪ When you moved and I got yo ♪ 1210 01:13:23,415 --> 01:13:24,654 ♪ Fan base in a bath stall ♪ 1211 01:13:24,654 --> 01:13:27,015 ♪ Trying take pics with my hand, like dang y'all ♪ 1212 01:13:27,015 --> 01:13:27,848 ♪ With some fam y'all ♪ 1213 01:13:27,848 --> 01:13:28,681 ♪ No new friends ♪ 1214 01:13:28,681 --> 01:13:30,306 ♪ My money tight, no loose ends ♪ 1215 01:13:30,306 --> 01:13:31,844 ♪ This creed y'all, that loose ends ♪ 1216 01:13:31,844 --> 01:13:33,390 - ♪ I build ♪ - There's no train 1217 01:13:33,390 --> 01:13:35,247 that's more than two miles long, babe. 1218 01:13:35,247 --> 01:13:37,290 You know the history of trains? 1219 01:13:37,290 --> 01:13:39,240 It's not, I've seen trains, 1220 01:13:39,240 --> 01:13:41,533 I've been on trains, I've never seen a train. 1221 01:13:41,533 --> 01:13:44,241 So what do you think this is, a pretend train? 1222 01:13:44,241 --> 01:13:46,693 ♪ So, get on my level ♪ 1223 01:13:46,693 --> 01:13:48,878 ♪ Don't care what they say, you're not on my level ♪ 1224 01:13:48,878 --> 01:13:53,621 ♪ We out here in the middle of nowhere, Arkansas ♪ 1225 01:13:53,621 --> 01:13:56,790 ♪ Game up, on my level ♪ 1226 01:13:56,790 --> 01:13:58,950 If your best pro shop isn't this big, 1227 01:13:58,950 --> 01:14:00,611 are you even best pro-ing? 1228 01:14:00,611 --> 01:14:03,613 ♪ On my level ♪ 1229 01:14:03,613 --> 01:14:06,642 ♪ You're not on my level ♪ 1230 01:14:06,642 --> 01:14:07,560 ♪ So get on my level ♪ 1231 01:14:07,560 --> 01:14:10,000 We made it to Nashville. 1232 01:14:10,000 --> 01:14:12,226 ♪ Get on my level ♪ 1233 01:14:12,226 --> 01:14:16,219 ♪ You trying too hard, you're not on my level ♪ 1234 01:14:16,219 --> 01:14:18,717 ♪ So, get on my level ♪ 1235 01:14:18,717 --> 01:14:22,575 ♪ Don't care what they say, you're not on my level ♪ 1236 01:14:22,575 --> 01:14:25,555 ♪ So, get on my level ♪ 1237 01:14:25,555 --> 01:14:29,075 ♪ Game up, on my level ♪ 1238 01:14:29,075 --> 01:14:32,325 ♪ So, get on my level ♪ 1239 01:14:32,325 --> 01:14:34,639 ♪ Get on my level ♪ 1240 01:14:34,639 --> 01:14:38,709 ♪ You trying too hard, you're not on my level ♪ 1241 01:14:38,709 --> 01:14:41,140 ♪ So, get on my level ♪ 1242 01:14:41,140 --> 01:14:42,884 ♪ Don't care what they say, you're not on my level ♪