1 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:13,920 Hi, there. 2 00:02:14,920 --> 00:02:16,420 Hey. 3 00:02:19,220 --> 00:02:22,060 You know you've got a fair amount of blood on you there, sir. 4 00:02:22,860 --> 00:02:24,460 Oh. Huh. 5 00:02:26,370 --> 00:02:28,530 Yeah, it's not even mine. It was just this... 6 00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:32,400 Never mind. 7 00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:36,110 Hey, listen, I need you to take this thing off my hands, 8 00:02:36,210 --> 00:02:37,740 just make it someone else's problem, you know? 9 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:41,280 I mean, I thought my boys were gonna love it, but, uh... 10 00:02:41,380 --> 00:02:44,050 Let me tell you, man, they will not. 11 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:49,250 No, it's not, uh... a toy, 12 00:02:50,020 --> 00:02:52,290 so just don't ever call it that. 13 00:02:52,390 --> 00:02:53,590 It's a, uh... 14 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:55,730 It's... 15 00:02:57,260 --> 00:03:00,030 Actually, I don't know exactly what it is. 16 00:03:00,730 --> 00:03:03,400 Besides, it appears to be broken. 17 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:06,840 See, the drumstick seems to be stuck in the up position. 18 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:11,040 You do not want the goddamn drumstick to come down. 19 00:03:11,910 --> 00:03:12,910 Okay? 20 00:03:13,010 --> 00:03:14,750 Because when it does, 21 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:20,690 I promise you, we are all fucked to hell. 22 00:03:20,790 --> 00:03:22,090 Okay? 23 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:26,760 Woah... Oh... 24 00:03:27,590 --> 00:03:28,960 Okay... 25 00:03:52,420 --> 00:03:54,790 Well, sir, can't speak for you, 26 00:03:54,890 --> 00:03:58,490 but, heh, I don't feel especially fucked to hell. 27 00:04:24,350 --> 00:04:25,420 Hot dog. 28 00:04:28,820 --> 00:04:33,460 Who's smiling now, you infernal son of a whore? 29 00:04:37,630 --> 00:04:40,800 YEAH! 30 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:47,240 I don't know if every father 31 00:04:47,340 --> 00:04:50,240 passes some secret horror onto his kids. 32 00:04:51,310 --> 00:04:52,850 But mine sure did. 33 00:05:10,070 --> 00:05:12,230 My name is Hal Shelborn. 34 00:05:12,330 --> 00:05:15,070 This is me and my twin brother, Bill. 35 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:18,510 Well, this is us before everything. 36 00:05:18,910 --> 00:05:21,680 Bill was the kind of kid who would say, "shake on it," 37 00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:24,950 but then pull his hand back and pretend to slick his hair. 38 00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:26,980 He was older than me by three minutes 39 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:29,120 and ate most of my mom's placenta. 40 00:05:29,220 --> 00:05:31,520 So that made him my "big" brother. 41 00:05:31,620 --> 00:05:33,090 A role he took seriously. 42 00:05:33,190 --> 00:05:35,720 And he treated me like shit whenever he got the chance. 43 00:05:35,820 --> 00:05:38,190 I've been meaning to tell you... 44 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:40,700 Mom says she hates you because you made dad leave, 45 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,360 and now she has to go on dates. 46 00:05:43,700 --> 00:05:45,630 But I managed to love him anyway, 47 00:05:45,730 --> 00:05:47,640 even if I did sometimes fantasize 48 00:05:47,740 --> 00:05:49,470 about being an only child. 49 00:05:49,570 --> 00:05:52,270 I hate you, Bill Shelborn. 50 00:05:58,980 --> 00:06:00,920 My mom raised us on her own 51 00:06:01,020 --> 00:06:03,150 for as long as she could, at least. 52 00:06:03,250 --> 00:06:04,650 And my mom, 53 00:06:04,750 --> 00:06:06,460 well, I can remember her perfectly, 54 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:08,160 like it was yesterday. 55 00:06:08,260 --> 00:06:09,790 Your father... 56 00:06:11,390 --> 00:06:14,960 Well, your father went out for a pack of cigarettes 57 00:06:15,060 --> 00:06:16,770 and never came back. 58 00:06:18,430 --> 00:06:21,470 Just made like an egg and... 59 00:06:22,100 --> 00:06:23,370 scrambled. 60 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:25,210 And sure, sure, 61 00:06:25,310 --> 00:06:27,580 I could have been one of his stewardesses, but, 62 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:30,180 of course, the deadbeat never took me anywhere. 63 00:06:31,010 --> 00:06:32,650 He just brought back 64 00:06:33,110 --> 00:06:36,220 Swiss cuckoo clocks and bonsai trees. 65 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:38,220 Knick-knacks and souvenirs 66 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:39,920 to stuff our closet full. 67 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:44,560 And one day, my darling boys, 68 00:06:44,660 --> 00:06:46,660 all that horse shit will be yours. 69 00:06:49,060 --> 00:06:51,700 We knew my mom thought it was a bunch of junk. 70 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:53,470 But for Bill and me, 71 00:06:54,470 --> 00:06:57,740 Dad's closet was full of clues to who he was. 72 00:06:58,240 --> 00:06:59,440 There she is. 73 00:07:00,980 --> 00:07:03,140 Old deadbeat's disguise. 74 00:07:20,790 --> 00:07:22,330 The hell's that thing from? 75 00:07:22,430 --> 00:07:23,960 Paris, France or something? 76 00:07:24,060 --> 00:07:27,470 It says, "Organ Grinder Monkey." 77 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:31,240 "Like Life." 78 00:07:32,070 --> 00:07:34,210 You mean "lifelike," dumbshit. 79 00:07:35,310 --> 00:07:36,310 No. 80 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:43,250 What? 81 00:07:55,260 --> 00:07:56,660 Give me that thing. 82 00:07:58,160 --> 00:07:59,400 Here. 83 00:08:13,650 --> 00:08:15,780 You think this does junk if I turn this? 84 00:08:16,450 --> 00:08:18,080 Don't, Bill. It's Dad's. 85 00:08:18,180 --> 00:08:20,590 Dad's gone, fuckface. 86 00:08:20,690 --> 00:08:22,420 And I'm his next of "skin," 87 00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:25,360 so legally, everything in here's mine. 88 00:09:08,100 --> 00:09:09,970 Stupid thing's broken anyway. 89 00:09:17,380 --> 00:09:19,280 Don't come in our room, dumbshit. 90 00:09:23,550 --> 00:09:25,720 Shotgun, obviously. 91 00:09:26,020 --> 00:09:27,550 Christ, what's worse than a blind date? 92 00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:28,820 I'd rather take my chances 93 00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:30,860 and kiss a goddamn frog and see what happens. 94 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,260 Okay, boys! 95 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:34,630 Uh, no soda after you brush your teeth, 96 00:09:34,730 --> 00:09:36,160 and no fires, 97 00:09:36,260 --> 00:09:38,230 and no video games because of the last fire. 98 00:09:38,330 --> 00:09:39,800 I tried to tell them no fires, 99 00:09:39,900 --> 00:09:41,300 but these boys are nothing but willish. 100 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,530 Thank you, babysitter Annie. 101 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:45,640 I'll be home by midnight. 102 00:09:51,580 --> 00:09:53,880 Okay, boys, 103 00:09:53,980 --> 00:09:55,180 I've got only one rule for tonight. 104 00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:57,350 Keep your hands off the hot parts of the table. 105 00:09:57,450 --> 00:09:58,520 Okay? 106 00:09:58,620 --> 00:10:00,150 I'll try, but... 107 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:01,990 I'm just a man. 108 00:10:02,990 --> 00:10:04,650 Bill, knock it off. 109 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:00,870 Holy sh-- 110 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:03,370 Maybe an experience like that 111 00:12:03,470 --> 00:12:05,210 could have brought me and Bill closer. 112 00:12:05,740 --> 00:12:07,740 But it turned out one freak tragedy 113 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:09,180 wasn't going to be nearly enough. 114 00:12:10,450 --> 00:12:11,750 Fuck. 115 00:12:12,650 --> 00:12:14,550 How is her head still together? 116 00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:15,950 Sh. Sh. Sh. 117 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:18,720 Don't think about it too much. 118 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:20,990 Oh, fuck. 119 00:12:21,660 --> 00:12:23,530 Uuuuhhh... 120 00:12:23,630 --> 00:12:24,660 Oh, yeah. 121 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:27,730 Today, we are here with Annie Wilkes. 122 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:31,530 Gone by accident... 123 00:12:32,270 --> 00:12:34,070 rather, in an accident 124 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:37,410 because, you know, there's no accidents. 125 00:12:37,740 --> 00:12:41,180 Um... Is there a divine plan? 126 00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:43,810 Sure, you know, uh, maybe. 127 00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:46,920 Call it a coin toss, you know, heads or tails, heh. 128 00:12:48,380 --> 00:12:50,190 But not Annie's head 129 00:12:50,290 --> 00:12:54,320 because that is, 130 00:12:54,420 --> 00:12:56,390 uh, separate. 131 00:12:56,460 --> 00:12:58,460 That's a separate issue. Uh... 132 00:12:59,630 --> 00:13:04,270 Uh... You know, why her, though, right? 133 00:13:04,370 --> 00:13:05,870 Why Annie? 134 00:13:07,070 --> 00:13:08,470 Why not you? 135 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:10,940 Or you? 136 00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:16,750 Everything for a reason, yeah, totally. 137 00:13:16,850 --> 00:13:19,220 And it is what it is. 138 00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:23,490 Uuuhhh... 139 00:13:23,590 --> 00:13:25,520 It is what it is. 140 00:13:25,620 --> 00:13:26,860 The word of the Lord. 141 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:28,560 Amen. 142 00:13:29,730 --> 00:13:32,030 Everything is an accident. 143 00:13:32,130 --> 00:13:34,700 Or nothing is an accident. 144 00:13:35,060 --> 00:13:37,000 Either way, same thing. 145 00:13:38,070 --> 00:13:41,940 It's not if or even how. 146 00:13:42,810 --> 00:13:44,310 It's only when. 147 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:48,040 Everybody dies. 148 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:51,550 And that's life. 149 00:13:53,850 --> 00:13:55,590 I'll die. 150 00:13:55,690 --> 00:13:59,420 And you will both die. 151 00:13:59,790 --> 00:14:02,760 And all of your friends and their parents 152 00:14:02,860 --> 00:14:06,000 and all of their pets and everybody. 153 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:09,830 Some of us peacefully in our sleep. 154 00:14:10,970 --> 00:14:14,540 And some of us horribly... 155 00:14:14,900 --> 00:14:17,470 violently, tied up with a clothesline, 156 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,570 and screaming through duct tape over our mouths 157 00:14:20,570 --> 00:14:22,650 and all that jazz. 158 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,650 And to hell with it. 159 00:14:26,550 --> 00:14:28,050 Come on, let's go dancing. 160 00:14:55,980 --> 00:14:58,150 It might have been on the day of a funeral, 161 00:14:58,250 --> 00:15:01,050 but that probably was the happiest day of my life. 162 00:15:02,990 --> 00:15:04,960 It's funny how quickly that can change. 163 00:15:11,930 --> 00:15:13,430 Hey, kid. 164 00:15:13,530 --> 00:15:16,270 Your brother says your dad left your mom. 165 00:15:16,370 --> 00:15:18,570 Lit out to Paris, France to buy cigarettes 166 00:15:18,670 --> 00:15:21,070 'cause you're a big fat baby who cried all the time. 167 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:24,640 And man, don't your mom deserve better? 168 00:15:24,740 --> 00:15:26,410 I mean, don't she? 169 00:15:27,340 --> 00:15:29,280 -Um... -I guess that means 170 00:15:29,380 --> 00:15:31,920 your mom would be wearing the pants in the house now, huh? 171 00:15:32,580 --> 00:15:34,920 I think that's how it works, yeah. 172 00:15:35,550 --> 00:15:36,820 Aw, but... 173 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:39,520 see, you're wearing pants. 174 00:15:39,620 --> 00:15:42,690 And two people can't be wearing 175 00:15:42,790 --> 00:15:45,560 the pants in the house at the same time. 176 00:15:46,230 --> 00:15:50,030 So, looks like you got yourself a bit of a pants problem, kid. 177 00:15:55,470 --> 00:15:57,410 Honey, I'm making PB&J. 178 00:16:00,310 --> 00:16:02,580 Oh, and how am I? 179 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:06,750 Oh, I'm great! I love slaving over my two sons all day long. 180 00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:19,830 Mom! 181 00:16:19,930 --> 00:16:21,330 Yeah? 182 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:25,040 Why'd you put Dad's weird monkey in our room? 183 00:16:25,470 --> 00:16:27,100 You know I don't go in there anymore 184 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:28,810 since I found that stiff sock. 185 00:16:30,980 --> 00:16:32,280 Oh, yeah. 186 00:17:05,780 --> 00:17:07,210 You didn't have anything to do 187 00:17:07,310 --> 00:17:09,420 with my babysitter's head, right? 188 00:17:10,950 --> 00:17:12,820 -That'd be like-- -Yo! 189 00:17:14,050 --> 00:17:16,590 You really got the hots for that thing, huh? 190 00:17:16,990 --> 00:17:19,320 -I--I don't. -It's all good. 191 00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:20,960 You can have it, but... 192 00:17:21,060 --> 00:17:22,860 all you gotta do is say you wanna marry it. 193 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:24,260 But I don't wanna marry it. 194 00:17:24,360 --> 00:17:26,160 Say, "I wanna be Mrs. Stupid Monkey." 195 00:17:26,260 --> 00:17:28,770 I wanna be Mrs. Stupid Monkey. 196 00:17:30,370 --> 00:17:31,700 Now say... 197 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:34,070 "I wanna suck its banana." 198 00:17:34,170 --> 00:17:36,670 -No, Bill, no. -Say it! 199 00:17:36,770 --> 00:17:39,080 Or I'll eat the rest of your placenta, bitch. 200 00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:42,880 I wanna suck its banana. 201 00:17:44,380 --> 00:17:46,450 All right. We have a deal. 202 00:17:46,550 --> 00:17:47,920 You can have the monkey. 203 00:17:53,090 --> 00:17:55,660 Idiot. 204 00:17:58,060 --> 00:18:00,860 Between the ages of 12 and 15, 205 00:18:00,970 --> 00:18:03,270 the penis takes on a life of its own 206 00:18:03,370 --> 00:18:04,700 and becomes sensitive 207 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:08,070 to physical and emotional horseplay. 208 00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:10,740 Around this time, 209 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:14,080 the opposite sex becomes both appealing and horrifying. 210 00:18:21,590 --> 00:18:23,050 Yo, Mrs. Torrance! 211 00:18:23,150 --> 00:18:25,420 Hal Shelborn's jerking his monkey under his desk! 212 00:18:53,620 --> 00:18:55,450 Honey, I'm making devil's food. 213 00:18:55,550 --> 00:18:57,220 I don't fucking want any! 214 00:18:57,790 --> 00:18:58,860 Language! 215 00:19:01,230 --> 00:19:03,860 Who talks to their mother like that? 216 00:19:03,860 --> 00:19:06,960 What are you, a sailor in a shipyard? 217 00:19:07,770 --> 00:19:08,870 You. 218 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:15,070 It's because of you that deadbeat Bill this to me. 219 00:19:17,540 --> 00:19:19,780 You know who I'm talking about, don't you? 220 00:19:20,340 --> 00:19:22,810 That asshole kid who lives in here with me... 221 00:19:23,780 --> 00:19:24,820 that's Bill. 222 00:19:26,380 --> 00:19:27,890 You wanna know something else? 223 00:19:30,090 --> 00:19:31,690 I wish Bill was dead. 224 00:19:52,310 --> 00:19:53,780 Hey, Mom, you home? 225 00:19:56,250 --> 00:19:57,650 Is dinner ready? 226 00:20:00,150 --> 00:20:01,150 Mom? 227 00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:20,300 Mom? 228 00:20:22,470 --> 00:20:24,070 You're not even making it yet? 229 00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:51,770 What the fuck?! 230 00:20:56,810 --> 00:20:58,210 Oh, shit. 231 00:20:58,540 --> 00:21:00,110 MOMMY! 232 00:21:07,020 --> 00:21:09,190 The doctors called what happened to my mom 233 00:21:09,290 --> 00:21:11,090 a boomerang aneurysm. 234 00:21:11,420 --> 00:21:14,320 But I was the only one who knew what it really was. 235 00:21:16,260 --> 00:21:18,260 They said chances of it happening 236 00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:20,030 were one in 44 million. 237 00:21:21,700 --> 00:21:23,730 And that's just another way to say 238 00:21:23,830 --> 00:21:25,370 it has to happen to somebody. 239 00:21:26,940 --> 00:21:28,770 And that's how it works. 240 00:21:29,070 --> 00:21:31,840 You turn the key and the drumsticks go up. 241 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:33,940 They come down again when it chooses 242 00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:35,440 who it wants to kill next. 243 00:21:37,104 --> 00:21:38,700 It doesn't take requests. 244 00:21:40,250 --> 00:21:42,850 It kills who it wants when it feels like it. 245 00:21:43,150 --> 00:21:45,450 And it doesn't owe you an explanation. 246 00:21:46,220 --> 00:21:48,190 It's true what it says on the box. 247 00:21:48,460 --> 00:21:50,890 It's just like life. 248 00:21:55,030 --> 00:21:56,430 Uh... son, 249 00:21:56,530 --> 00:21:58,100 -perhaps it's best if you-- -Shut up! 250 00:22:04,570 --> 00:22:05,610 Hey, Mom! 251 00:22:08,010 --> 00:22:09,380 Mom, wake up! 252 00:22:12,980 --> 00:22:13,980 Mom? 253 00:22:16,250 --> 00:22:18,550 Mom, that's a funny joke! 254 00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:22,560 MOM! 255 00:22:27,700 --> 00:22:28,900 Wake up. 256 00:22:43,010 --> 00:22:44,710 Okay, you can keep talking. 257 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:53,250 Oh... 258 00:23:01,900 --> 00:23:05,570 You know, your Aunt Ida and your Uncle Chip... 259 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:08,340 never wanted kids. 260 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:11,970 Nah. 261 00:23:13,110 --> 00:23:15,510 Always just kind of preferred a life where you sit down 262 00:23:15,610 --> 00:23:18,310 and you don't stand up again until you want to. 263 00:23:19,650 --> 00:23:21,380 Also, we're swingers, but... 264 00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:23,520 Oh, well. 265 00:23:35,300 --> 00:23:36,770 And I want you to know 266 00:23:37,870 --> 00:23:40,070 we're gonna do our very best with you boys. 267 00:23:41,900 --> 00:23:44,540 It's just that our very best might be... 268 00:23:45,710 --> 00:23:46,710 pretty bad. 269 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,270 Oh... oh, fuck. 270 00:24:21,140 --> 00:24:22,350 Fuck! 271 00:24:32,820 --> 00:24:33,990 What the fuck? 272 00:24:47,740 --> 00:24:48,770 Fuck. 273 00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:07,320 I put the pieces in a garbage bag 274 00:25:07,420 --> 00:25:09,160 and made sure it got on a garbage truck. 275 00:25:09,260 --> 00:25:11,630 And I assumed that would be the end of it. 276 00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:14,830 But after that, 277 00:25:14,930 --> 00:25:16,870 Bill and I were never the same. 278 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:19,700 I mean, we looked the same because we were twins, 279 00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:22,270 and, well, you know what I mean. 280 00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:26,640 Aunt Ida and Uncle Chip picked up Bill and me 281 00:25:26,740 --> 00:25:28,510 and moved us to Maine. 282 00:25:28,980 --> 00:25:31,450 And I guess I hoped we'd left the worst of it behind us. 283 00:26:02,610 --> 00:26:04,580 You going to take off your suit, Bill? 284 00:26:05,980 --> 00:26:08,490 If I take it off, then I'll have to put it back on 285 00:26:08,590 --> 00:26:10,690 as soon as there's another funeral. 286 00:26:11,620 --> 00:26:13,190 But if I don't take it off, 287 00:26:13,290 --> 00:26:15,460 then I won't have to put it back on. 288 00:26:15,790 --> 00:26:18,230 So there won't be any more funerals. 289 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:28,110 Sleep tight, you two. 290 00:26:54,970 --> 00:26:56,840 Here comes trouble, here it comes! 291 00:28:06,170 --> 00:28:07,310 Why the hell did you bring it? 292 00:28:07,410 --> 00:28:08,880 I didn't. I chopped it up. 293 00:28:08,980 --> 00:28:10,740 Don't look chopped up to me. 294 00:28:11,110 --> 00:28:12,410 I'm telling you, Bill, 295 00:28:13,010 --> 00:28:14,280 it's a bad monkey. 296 00:28:14,380 --> 00:28:18,350 It's a bad, magic, killer monkey. 297 00:28:19,290 --> 00:28:21,260 You think it killed Babysitter Annie? 298 00:28:22,120 --> 00:28:25,290 Maybe. Probably. I--I don't know. 299 00:28:27,360 --> 00:28:29,200 I was going to marry that girl. 300 00:28:30,230 --> 00:28:31,700 I know you were, Bill. 301 00:28:33,230 --> 00:28:35,770 We should try it on purpose to see if anyone else we know dies. 302 00:28:35,870 --> 00:28:38,210 No, we shouldn't. I mean, what if it gets one of us? 303 00:28:38,310 --> 00:28:41,340 Then I promise to pretend to be sad when you're dead. 304 00:28:43,450 --> 00:28:45,780 Yeah, me too. 305 00:28:48,150 --> 00:28:50,650 You think it could kill the person who turns the key or not? 306 00:28:50,750 --> 00:28:52,690 How the hell should I know? 307 00:28:58,190 --> 00:28:59,630 Do you think Mom turned it? 308 00:29:06,170 --> 00:29:07,270 I'm gonna try it. 309 00:29:09,370 --> 00:29:10,340 Don't, Bill-- 310 00:29:12,010 --> 00:29:15,880 It was a hunting accident, but not the usual kind. 311 00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:20,250 Uncle Chip was trampled by a stampede of 67 wild horses 312 00:29:20,350 --> 00:29:22,420 in his sleeping bag on a camping trip. 313 00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:25,020 I overheard the undertaker say that, 314 00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:26,920 when they dumped the body out, 315 00:29:27,020 --> 00:29:29,660 it looked like someone had drop-kicked a cherry pie. 316 00:29:31,990 --> 00:29:34,560 I don't mind much that Uncle Chip's gone. 317 00:29:34,860 --> 00:29:36,500 He was kind of an asshole. 318 00:29:36,870 --> 00:29:40,340 I just mind more that I feel pretty good it wasn't me. 319 00:29:40,740 --> 00:29:42,740 But it's got to be done, you know? 320 00:29:43,070 --> 00:29:44,670 To keep it away from the people 321 00:29:44,770 --> 00:29:46,680 who might feel really good about using it, 322 00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:49,550 like the Nazis and Russians 323 00:29:49,650 --> 00:29:51,750 and "Iran-qis" and whatnot. 324 00:29:52,180 --> 00:29:54,050 We knew that it couldn't be destroyed, 325 00:29:54,150 --> 00:29:57,220 so we hoped that we could maybe contain it. 326 00:29:57,550 --> 00:29:59,020 Just get rid of it. 327 00:30:00,390 --> 00:30:02,290 Make it go the fuck away. 328 00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:06,900 And for a long time, anyway, 329 00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:09,760 it really seemed like it had. 330 00:33:56,440 --> 00:33:59,280 I haven't seen the monkey since we threw it down the well, 331 00:33:59,580 --> 00:34:03,120 but it feels like only a matter of time before it comes back. 332 00:34:05,790 --> 00:34:07,750 This is me today. 333 00:34:08,220 --> 00:34:10,690 I pretty much lost all contact with Bill, 334 00:34:10,790 --> 00:34:12,360 and I'm good with that. 335 00:34:12,690 --> 00:34:14,330 He was kind of an asshole anyways. 336 00:34:15,830 --> 00:34:16,900 I don't have any friends, 337 00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:19,670 and I do my best to stay away from family 338 00:34:19,970 --> 00:34:21,940 for fear that if the monkey returns, 339 00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:23,840 it'll kill someone close to me. 340 00:34:25,310 --> 00:34:27,170 But staying away from family, 341 00:34:27,270 --> 00:34:28,170 Excuse me! 342 00:34:28,270 --> 00:34:29,480 ...that's easier said than done. 343 00:34:29,580 --> 00:34:31,410 Well, fuck your mother! 344 00:34:33,250 --> 00:34:34,580 Hey, Dwayne. 345 00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:39,520 -Oh, man! Come in, come in. 346 00:34:39,620 --> 00:34:40,550 Oh no, it's cool. 347 00:34:40,660 --> 00:34:43,290 I gotta run early today. I gotta pick up my kid. 348 00:34:43,990 --> 00:34:45,660 Wait, you got a kid? 349 00:34:46,030 --> 00:34:47,800 Shit, man, that sucks. 350 00:34:47,900 --> 00:34:49,230 Does it live with you? 351 00:34:50,030 --> 00:34:51,400 Uh, no, no he doesn't, 352 00:34:51,500 --> 00:34:53,600 but I get to see him once a year, 353 00:34:53,700 --> 00:34:56,570 so I'm taking him to Horror Heaven. 354 00:34:56,670 --> 00:34:57,640 Yeah. 355 00:34:58,340 --> 00:34:59,810 Roller coasters, I guess. 356 00:35:00,310 --> 00:35:01,840 Once a year? 357 00:35:02,140 --> 00:35:03,940 Shit, man, that sucks. 358 00:35:04,510 --> 00:35:08,480 I bet your ex-wife's some type of mega bitch, huh? 359 00:35:08,580 --> 00:35:09,520 Huh? 360 00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:13,920 Oh! No, the once-a-year thing, that was my idea. 361 00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:18,690 It turns out I'm kind of a bad influence, you know. 362 00:35:20,330 --> 00:35:22,490 "Here comes trouble." 363 00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:24,000 Who, you? 364 00:35:24,100 --> 00:35:25,500 It's not like, you know, 365 00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:28,600 I beheld a pale horse, and on it was a pale rider, 366 00:35:28,700 --> 00:35:31,470 and the rider's name was, you know, Death. 367 00:35:32,340 --> 00:35:33,570 But, uh... 368 00:35:35,510 --> 00:35:37,610 Yeah, there has been some death. 369 00:35:40,950 --> 00:35:42,720 Shit, man, that sucks. 370 00:35:54,430 --> 00:35:57,860 Pff! Jet skis, come on. Douchebag. 371 00:36:06,970 --> 00:36:09,410 "Love... Hal." 372 00:36:12,850 --> 00:36:13,850 Fuck. 373 00:36:23,550 --> 00:36:25,890 Feel that parental energy... 374 00:36:26,230 --> 00:36:27,990 transferred from you to me. 375 00:36:38,670 --> 00:36:40,940 Petey's been asking about you more and more, Hal. 376 00:36:41,710 --> 00:36:43,140 And it's breaking our hearts. 377 00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:47,350 About me? 378 00:36:47,710 --> 00:36:49,310 What about me? Why? 379 00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:51,250 Because you're his father. 380 00:36:51,350 --> 00:36:53,720 And he's doing a family tree school project. 381 00:36:53,820 --> 00:36:56,520 And like it or not, you're one of the branches. 382 00:36:57,120 --> 00:36:58,290 Look, I-- 383 00:36:58,390 --> 00:36:59,990 I care about Petey. 384 00:37:00,090 --> 00:37:02,130 I do. Like, I... 385 00:37:03,430 --> 00:37:06,000 I care about him a lot, like, a lot, lot. 386 00:37:06,100 --> 00:37:08,670 Just now, when we were on the couch together, 387 00:37:09,700 --> 00:37:10,870 I took your power. 388 00:37:10,970 --> 00:37:13,640 Whoa, whoa, whoa, I never said you could take my power. 389 00:37:13,740 --> 00:37:14,870 It doesn't matter anymore. 390 00:37:15,770 --> 00:37:16,770 Ted has decided 391 00:37:16,870 --> 00:37:18,280 -to legally adopt Petey. -What? 392 00:37:18,380 --> 00:37:19,810 And once the adoption's finalized... 393 00:37:19,910 --> 00:37:23,110 it won't be necessary for you to see Petey at all. 394 00:37:23,210 --> 00:37:25,080 But you can't just do that. 395 00:37:25,380 --> 00:37:27,050 He can't just do that. 396 00:37:27,490 --> 00:37:29,490 As the leading expert in my field, 397 00:37:30,490 --> 00:37:31,720 can't I? 398 00:37:32,190 --> 00:37:35,490 Listen, you and Petey have this time. 399 00:37:35,890 --> 00:37:38,130 So just take the week, 400 00:37:38,230 --> 00:37:40,800 lock in some nice memories, 401 00:37:40,900 --> 00:37:42,670 and then cleanly cut it off. 402 00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:44,570 Like a vestigial tail. 403 00:37:47,870 --> 00:37:49,770 That's what you want. Isn't it? 404 00:37:49,870 --> 00:37:52,280 No. It's not what I want. 405 00:37:52,380 --> 00:37:55,450 I want to spend time with Petey. It's just, you know... 406 00:37:55,780 --> 00:37:57,180 Vestigial? 407 00:37:57,280 --> 00:37:59,120 It means something that has become functionless, 408 00:37:59,220 --> 00:38:00,750 and as a result, is no longer necessary. 409 00:38:00,850 --> 00:38:02,520 -I know what it means, Ted. -I'm sure you do. 410 00:38:02,620 --> 00:38:04,620 -I do. -Well, I have your power, so... 411 00:38:04,720 --> 00:38:06,990 Well, I peed in one of your bushes on the way in, so... 412 00:38:07,090 --> 00:38:09,860 Well, this is the part where I suggest that we arm wrestle. 413 00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:11,300 What? Arm wrestle for what? 414 00:38:11,300 --> 00:38:12,630 For all the marbles. 415 00:38:12,730 --> 00:38:15,630 And by marbles, I am, of course, referring to your little balls. 416 00:38:15,730 --> 00:38:17,200 -My-- -Hey. 417 00:38:17,300 --> 00:38:18,400 Honey... 418 00:38:18,500 --> 00:38:20,800 Oh, Petey. Hey. 419 00:38:21,770 --> 00:38:23,210 Hey, buddy. 420 00:38:23,670 --> 00:38:25,140 What are you guys talking about? 421 00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:37,150 What do you mean, 422 00:39:37,250 --> 00:39:38,920 it reminds you of your dad? 423 00:39:41,420 --> 00:39:43,050 You talking about the shit-eating grin 424 00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:46,060 or the hairy back and arms? 425 00:39:49,500 --> 00:39:51,560 Do you ever wonder where he is? 426 00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:54,130 Dad, I mean. 427 00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:58,170 Baby, that ain't worth it. 428 00:40:00,570 --> 00:40:02,380 But if you're really looking for an answer, 429 00:40:02,470 --> 00:40:05,140 I'd have to go with either... 430 00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:09,780 at a card table or under a hooker. 431 00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:11,680 Oh, sick, Ma. Come on. 432 00:40:11,780 --> 00:40:12,750 Gross. 433 00:40:16,220 --> 00:40:17,690 Hey, Beauchamps, honey, 434 00:40:18,730 --> 00:40:19,760 you want a drag? 435 00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:27,530 But are you still thinking of selling that monkey thing 436 00:40:27,630 --> 00:40:29,670 to the nut who never leaves his house? 437 00:40:31,470 --> 00:40:34,510 I mean, have you ever even met this guy face to face? 438 00:40:34,810 --> 00:40:37,880 Sounds like a real fucking pervert to me. 439 00:40:50,420 --> 00:40:53,430 So, do you have any brothers or sisters? 440 00:40:55,500 --> 00:40:56,860 Is that your family tree thing? 441 00:40:58,060 --> 00:40:59,400 What gave it away? 442 00:41:01,270 --> 00:41:02,500 Okay. 443 00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:05,210 So, um... 444 00:41:05,770 --> 00:41:07,510 brothers, sisters? 445 00:41:08,210 --> 00:41:09,280 Yes, no? 446 00:41:10,210 --> 00:41:12,450 Uh... no. 447 00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:15,550 No to both? 448 00:41:15,780 --> 00:41:17,020 Yeah, no, neither. 449 00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:19,450 Only child... just like me. 450 00:41:23,060 --> 00:41:25,390 And, uh, what's your mom's name? 451 00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:29,530 Um... 452 00:41:31,930 --> 00:41:33,130 Lois. 453 00:41:34,470 --> 00:41:35,940 My mom's name was... 454 00:41:37,470 --> 00:41:38,470 Lois. 455 00:41:43,610 --> 00:41:45,710 Hey, uh... Oof. 456 00:41:46,110 --> 00:41:47,650 It's getting kind of late, darn. 457 00:41:47,750 --> 00:41:50,180 I should get you some, uh, some dinner, huh? 458 00:41:50,580 --> 00:41:54,020 Only if you want me to, like, survive. 459 00:42:02,060 --> 00:42:03,260 Cool. 460 00:42:53,210 --> 00:42:55,950 Say it, or I'll eat the rest of your placenta... 461 00:42:56,050 --> 00:42:57,520 I promise to pretend to be sad 462 00:42:57,620 --> 00:42:58,690 when you're dead. 463 00:42:58,790 --> 00:43:00,050 What the fuck?! 464 00:43:12,370 --> 00:43:13,600 Christ. 465 00:43:24,610 --> 00:43:26,080 What the fuck? 466 00:43:56,140 --> 00:43:57,450 Hello. 467 00:43:58,650 --> 00:44:00,380 Well, hello, dumbshit. 468 00:44:05,850 --> 00:44:06,950 Bill. 469 00:44:07,050 --> 00:44:10,090 Can't be the only person who calls you dumbshit. 470 00:44:10,390 --> 00:44:12,360 How did you know how to reach me, Bill? 471 00:44:12,460 --> 00:44:14,430 I haven't heard from you in, what, five years? 472 00:44:14,530 --> 00:44:16,500 Haven't seen you in something like 10? 473 00:44:16,900 --> 00:44:19,930 Nine and eleven, and those are just numbers. 474 00:44:20,300 --> 00:44:21,840 The police gave me yours. 475 00:44:22,170 --> 00:44:23,770 What do you mean, the police? 476 00:44:23,870 --> 00:44:25,270 I have news. 477 00:44:26,110 --> 00:44:28,540 Aunt Ida is no more. 478 00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:30,010 Oh, shit. 479 00:44:30,540 --> 00:44:32,310 Well, I guess she was kind of old. 480 00:44:32,410 --> 00:44:34,180 Was she sick or something? 481 00:44:34,750 --> 00:44:36,450 Actually, it seems the old girl 482 00:44:36,550 --> 00:44:38,690 was having somewhat of a renaissance, 483 00:44:39,020 --> 00:44:42,260 putting her house on the market, cleaning out her closet. 484 00:44:42,620 --> 00:44:44,960 The nice young policewoman I spoke to... 485 00:44:45,430 --> 00:44:48,500 used the phrase, "freak accident." 486 00:44:50,870 --> 00:44:52,470 Okay, and? What? 487 00:44:52,900 --> 00:44:54,600 Someone has to go through her belongings, 488 00:44:54,700 --> 00:44:56,140 and you're the next of kin. 489 00:44:56,240 --> 00:44:58,610 Technically, you're the next of kin, Bill. 490 00:44:59,510 --> 00:45:01,410 This is my week with Petey, so no. 491 00:45:01,510 --> 00:45:03,940 Your week? That's all you get with your son? 492 00:45:04,480 --> 00:45:06,610 -Also, you're weak. -What do you want, Bill? 493 00:45:06,710 --> 00:45:10,220 Go to Aunt Ida's house and make sure "it" isn't there. 494 00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:12,150 "It" is at the bottom of a well. 495 00:45:12,250 --> 00:45:14,460 "It" can teleport and you know it. 496 00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:16,490 Why don't you bring Petey along, hmm? 497 00:45:16,590 --> 00:45:18,790 Let him see you being brave for a change. 498 00:45:18,890 --> 00:45:19,790 Jesus. 499 00:45:20,900 --> 00:45:23,970 What do fathers and their estranged sons 500 00:45:24,070 --> 00:45:25,570 say to each other? 501 00:45:25,670 --> 00:45:26,470 Road trip? 502 00:45:26,570 --> 00:45:28,200 Why would it be at Aunt Ida's anyway? 503 00:45:28,300 --> 00:45:29,770 Because it's attached itself to our family 504 00:45:29,870 --> 00:45:30,940 and likes to kill us. 505 00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:32,340 And I don't want to die, and presumably 506 00:45:32,440 --> 00:45:34,080 you don't want Petey to die either. 507 00:45:34,170 --> 00:45:35,310 And what if I find it, huh? 508 00:45:35,410 --> 00:45:36,640 What am I supposed to do, 509 00:45:36,740 --> 00:45:38,810 drop it from a fucking plane? It'll probably bounce! 510 00:45:38,910 --> 00:45:41,180 No, you never let it out of your sight again, 511 00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:42,520 so no one turns the key. 512 00:45:42,620 --> 00:45:44,050 Presumably you don't want Petey to-- 513 00:45:44,150 --> 00:45:46,590 Stop talking about Petey. 514 00:45:47,720 --> 00:45:49,790 The monkey must be vanquished. 515 00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:52,530 Why don't you vanquish it, huh, Bill? 516 00:45:54,130 --> 00:45:55,500 You're smaller, you go. 517 00:45:57,100 --> 00:45:58,770 Bill. Bi... Fuck! 518 00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:04,400 Fuck! 519 00:46:08,270 --> 00:46:09,710 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! 520 00:46:10,280 --> 00:46:11,880 Fuck! What the fuck? 521 00:46:11,980 --> 00:46:13,510 Is that a leg? Fuck! 522 00:46:44,780 --> 00:46:46,280 Okay, okay. 523 00:46:46,550 --> 00:46:47,780 -Petey, wake up. Come on. -What? 524 00:46:47,880 --> 00:46:49,750 -We gotta go. Let's go. -What time is it? 525 00:46:50,380 --> 00:46:51,420 What the fuck? 526 00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:52,420 Hey, language. 527 00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:53,750 And we gotta go, all right? 528 00:46:53,850 --> 00:46:56,720 There was a thing outside. 529 00:46:56,820 --> 00:46:58,090 It wasn't a thing. 530 00:46:58,190 --> 00:47:00,990 It was a woman, and either way, we gotta split. 531 00:47:01,090 --> 00:47:02,260 All right? So come on, let's go. 532 00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:04,360 It's the middle of the night. Are you high? 533 00:47:04,460 --> 00:47:05,500 No, I wish, Jesus Christ. 534 00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:07,730 No, don't do drugs. I mean it. 535 00:47:07,830 --> 00:47:09,340 But come on, let's go. Hurry up. 536 00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:10,540 I'm going to bed. 537 00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:13,410 WE GOTTA MAKE LIKE EGGS AND SCRAMBLE! 538 00:47:31,920 --> 00:47:35,230 Hey, Petey, uh... sorry about that. 539 00:47:36,160 --> 00:47:37,460 It's just that my aunt Ida died, 540 00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:39,930 and I gotta deal with a lot of her stuff. 541 00:47:40,970 --> 00:47:42,330 Can I ask you a question? 542 00:47:42,430 --> 00:47:43,940 I'd really rather you didn't. 543 00:47:45,800 --> 00:47:46,910 How'd your mom die? 544 00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:51,480 Is this for your family tree thing? 545 00:47:51,580 --> 00:47:53,380 Because usually family trees are about the whos 546 00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:58,050 and the whens, not the whys and the, you know, how. 547 00:47:58,650 --> 00:48:00,750 Was your aunt the one that raised you after your mom died? 548 00:48:02,320 --> 00:48:05,930 Uh, yeah. 549 00:48:06,260 --> 00:48:07,660 Yeah, yeah, she did. 550 00:48:10,530 --> 00:48:12,230 Maybe you could, uh, 551 00:48:12,700 --> 00:48:14,400 take me to your aunt's house with you. 552 00:48:14,500 --> 00:48:16,100 I could help you with her stuff and-- 553 00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:17,640 You're not coming with me, Petey. 554 00:48:17,740 --> 00:48:18,500 Why not? 555 00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:20,410 Because it's depressing, all right? 556 00:48:20,510 --> 00:48:22,180 We were supposed to go to a theme park, 557 00:48:22,270 --> 00:48:23,880 not into, you know... 558 00:48:25,150 --> 00:48:26,950 ...darkness and death. 559 00:48:27,050 --> 00:48:28,610 I know about the adoption, Hal. 560 00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:35,390 Oh. 561 00:48:36,160 --> 00:48:37,790 And so you can either just... 562 00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:40,760 cut me off and cut this off, 563 00:48:42,030 --> 00:48:43,500 or we can spend 564 00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:46,530 the rest of the little time that we have left together... 565 00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:49,830 together. 566 00:48:54,240 --> 00:48:56,240 I wonder which one Lois would have chosen. 567 00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:12,760 What are you doing in here all alone, Hal? 568 00:49:13,420 --> 00:49:15,060 Or do I not want to know? 569 00:49:16,160 --> 00:49:17,660 Just thinking, I guess. 570 00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:18,760 Oh, yeah? 571 00:49:19,630 --> 00:49:21,970 -About what? -I don't know. 572 00:49:22,300 --> 00:49:23,370 The future. 573 00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:26,640 You got any advice? 574 00:49:27,310 --> 00:49:30,640 Um, well... 575 00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:32,950 take care of your teeth. 576 00:49:34,610 --> 00:49:36,880 And take care of your gut. 577 00:49:37,320 --> 00:49:38,680 And take life as it comes. 578 00:49:38,780 --> 00:49:41,690 You know, the worst thing you can do is try to force it. 579 00:49:42,150 --> 00:49:45,890 But really, I think that the most important thing 580 00:49:45,990 --> 00:49:48,390 for you to remember is... 581 00:49:50,560 --> 00:49:52,900 try not to kill everybody around you. 582 00:50:05,180 --> 00:50:06,410 Petey? Pe... 583 00:50:09,980 --> 00:50:10,980 Petey? 584 00:50:15,590 --> 00:50:16,620 Petey? 585 00:50:18,390 --> 00:50:19,960 Hey, Petey, buddy? 586 00:50:21,860 --> 00:50:23,290 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 587 00:50:23,830 --> 00:50:24,960 Fuck, fuck, fuck. 588 00:50:41,150 --> 00:50:43,050 Check it out. There's a place in town. 589 00:50:43,150 --> 00:50:44,280 They do skydiving lessons. 590 00:50:44,380 --> 00:50:45,620 I feel like it's one of those things 591 00:50:45,720 --> 00:50:47,920 where you're either really good at it or you aren't. 592 00:50:48,020 --> 00:50:49,490 It only takes one lesson to find out. 593 00:50:51,020 --> 00:50:51,990 Hey, funny. 594 00:50:52,090 --> 00:50:54,560 That's... that's funny. 595 00:50:54,930 --> 00:50:57,960 Yeah? Well, you're kind of funny too, Hal. 596 00:50:58,530 --> 00:51:01,200 Oh, and they do weddings. 597 00:51:15,580 --> 00:51:17,750 Hey, uh, do me a favor, all right? 598 00:51:17,850 --> 00:51:20,620 Uh, wait in the car while I deal with this. 599 00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:22,120 What? No way. 600 00:51:22,220 --> 00:51:24,290 I want to see your old room like they do in the movies. 601 00:51:24,390 --> 00:51:25,360 No, Petey. 602 00:51:25,460 --> 00:51:26,520 Why not? 603 00:51:26,620 --> 00:51:29,630 Just because... because I said so. 604 00:51:29,930 --> 00:51:31,660 All right. Fine. 605 00:51:32,400 --> 00:51:34,460 Then I have to go number two. 606 00:51:34,930 --> 00:51:36,870 What? Why didn't you go at the motel? 607 00:51:36,970 --> 00:51:39,200 There's a lot you don't know about me, Hal. 608 00:51:39,300 --> 00:51:40,540 For instance, 609 00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:43,570 I'm one of those kids that can only go poo in a house. 610 00:51:43,670 --> 00:51:45,780 Are you being serious? 611 00:51:47,610 --> 00:51:49,550 It's a tough bet to lose, Hal. 612 00:51:52,020 --> 00:51:53,220 Jesus Christ. 613 00:51:53,820 --> 00:51:54,370 Hi. 614 00:51:54,450 --> 00:51:56,990 Hey there. Sorry. Ah. 615 00:51:57,090 --> 00:51:58,420 Oh, window won't go down. 616 00:51:58,520 --> 00:52:00,090 -Yeah, okay. -Hey there. 617 00:52:00,190 --> 00:52:02,090 -How are you? -Hi! I'm Barbara. 618 00:52:02,190 --> 00:52:04,060 -Hi. -You must be Hal Shelborn. 619 00:52:04,160 --> 00:52:06,460 Your brother Bill Shelborn said you'd be coming. 620 00:52:06,560 --> 00:52:08,200 Oh, yeah, right, right. 621 00:52:08,300 --> 00:52:09,470 Uh, hi, Barbara. Yeah. 622 00:52:09,470 --> 00:52:10,700 That brother Bill of yours 623 00:52:10,800 --> 00:52:12,640 is quite the character, isn't he? 624 00:52:12,740 --> 00:52:14,570 -Yeah. -Your brother Bill, I mean! 625 00:52:14,670 --> 00:52:17,180 Yes, yes. He's quite the character. Yeah. 626 00:52:17,280 --> 00:52:19,510 Yeah. Wow, who's this little slugger? 627 00:52:19,610 --> 00:52:21,680 Oh, this is, uh, this is my son, Petey. 628 00:52:21,780 --> 00:52:23,820 Oh, hello there. 629 00:52:23,820 --> 00:52:24,820 Oh, no, thanks, Barbara. 630 00:52:24,920 --> 00:52:27,620 I'm just a kid who doesn't buy many houses. 631 00:52:27,720 --> 00:52:30,190 But I also didn't know that I have an uncle. 632 00:52:30,290 --> 00:52:32,020 So, yeah, thanks for that. 633 00:52:32,120 --> 00:52:34,660 Um, it's funny, because I actually asked Hal here 634 00:52:34,760 --> 00:52:36,390 if he had any siblings yesterday. 635 00:52:36,490 --> 00:52:38,000 But he flat out lied to my face. 636 00:52:38,030 --> 00:52:39,300 -Well... -But it's cool. 637 00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:41,530 He's only going to be my dad for, like, 638 00:52:41,630 --> 00:52:42,670 a few more days anyway, 639 00:52:42,770 --> 00:52:45,800 'cause he's being swapped out for a leading expert. 640 00:52:46,940 --> 00:52:48,440 -Yeah. -Okay. 641 00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:51,980 -Well... -So no card. Okay. 642 00:52:52,080 --> 00:52:53,480 -No card, yeah. -Let's see the house. 643 00:52:55,480 --> 00:52:57,180 Were you and your aunt very close? 644 00:52:57,280 --> 00:52:58,480 Uh, sure. Very. 645 00:52:58,580 --> 00:52:59,820 Is this all her stuff? 646 00:52:59,920 --> 00:53:01,720 I felt like she had more stuff. 647 00:53:01,820 --> 00:53:04,120 Oh, well, we did have that estate sale 648 00:53:04,220 --> 00:53:05,690 the day after she died. 649 00:53:05,790 --> 00:53:07,660 We had a great turnout, too. 650 00:53:07,760 --> 00:53:10,200 We must have made over $100, ha! 651 00:53:10,300 --> 00:53:11,260 Right... 652 00:53:11,360 --> 00:53:12,700 Okay. 653 00:53:13,270 --> 00:53:16,670 Now, let's see, that would have been on Sunday, 654 00:53:16,770 --> 00:53:18,500 because ever since Monday, 655 00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:22,070 things have been a bit, uh, messy around here. 656 00:53:22,170 --> 00:53:24,810 Yeah. Your aunt, of course, was Monday. 657 00:53:25,310 --> 00:53:26,580 And then, oh Lord, 658 00:53:26,680 --> 00:53:28,810 first thing Tuesday, it was Mitch McDonald. 659 00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:38,930 And then Wednesday was Burt Burgerson. 660 00:53:44,760 --> 00:53:46,800 And then Nancy Risoli. 661 00:53:53,440 --> 00:53:57,010 But there aren't any cobras in Maine, I mean, are there? 662 00:53:58,180 --> 00:54:00,050 Well, there was the one. 663 00:54:02,220 --> 00:54:03,450 No, every day since Monday, 664 00:54:03,550 --> 00:54:06,890 at least one Casco local has just... poof! 665 00:54:07,350 --> 00:54:10,590 Sometimes two or three or four 666 00:54:10,690 --> 00:54:14,260 or even five Casco locals have just poof... 667 00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:16,130 -Right. OK. -And poof and poof! 668 00:54:16,230 --> 00:54:18,030 Great, yeah, yeah, no, I get it. 669 00:54:18,130 --> 00:54:21,100 Could we look at the other closet? It's this way, I think. 670 00:54:21,440 --> 00:54:23,200 Absolutely, follow me. 671 00:54:23,300 --> 00:54:24,070 Poof! 672 00:54:37,550 --> 00:54:39,720 You're fucking twins? 673 00:54:40,790 --> 00:54:42,820 You know, my mother used to always say 674 00:54:42,920 --> 00:54:44,730 whenever there was a plane crash 675 00:54:44,830 --> 00:54:46,990 or a school bus going off into the river 676 00:54:47,090 --> 00:54:49,730 and mass fatalities or what have you... 677 00:54:49,830 --> 00:54:51,330 She used to always say, 678 00:54:51,430 --> 00:54:54,230 "Looks like God's bowling strikes tonight." 679 00:54:58,300 --> 00:54:59,340 Oh, that's odd. 680 00:54:59,440 --> 00:55:01,040 I don't remember locking this. 681 00:55:01,140 --> 00:55:02,480 Hey, you wouldn't happen to remember 682 00:55:02,580 --> 00:55:07,110 if my aunt had a wind-up toy monkey at the yard sale? 683 00:55:07,210 --> 00:55:09,580 Oh, no, I don't think so. 684 00:55:09,750 --> 00:55:13,890 Oh, not a cherished childhood memory, now, was it? 685 00:55:13,890 --> 00:55:16,320 Oh, a first little furry friend 686 00:55:16,420 --> 00:55:18,090 filled with whimsy and wonder? 687 00:55:18,190 --> 00:55:20,660 No, it's no big deal. Thanks. 688 00:55:20,760 --> 00:55:21,930 Okay. 689 00:55:24,470 --> 00:55:27,270 Nope, not that one. 690 00:55:29,570 --> 00:55:30,950 How are we doing with that key? 691 00:55:31,340 --> 00:55:34,880 Oh... Don't you worry your pretty little head. 692 00:55:34,980 --> 00:55:37,380 Oh mercy, did I say that out loud? 693 00:55:38,710 --> 00:55:39,950 Watch out! 694 00:55:40,480 --> 00:55:41,850 You are pretty, though. 695 00:55:56,870 --> 00:55:58,200 -Oh! -You know what? 696 00:55:58,300 --> 00:55:59,440 -I think we should go down... -It looks like I did 697 00:55:59,540 --> 00:56:02,170 my own little process of elimination! 698 00:56:04,370 --> 00:56:06,040 No, no, no! 699 00:56:15,950 --> 00:56:17,650 Everything okay up there? 700 00:56:24,530 --> 00:56:26,300 Yeah, everything's fine. 701 00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:36,110 Oh, fuck. 702 00:56:48,350 --> 00:56:49,660 And you were just standing there, 703 00:56:49,690 --> 00:56:50,820 hands to yourself, is that right? 704 00:56:50,920 --> 00:56:52,360 Yeah, that's right. 705 00:56:52,460 --> 00:56:55,160 And you knew there was a gun in the house, or not so much? 706 00:56:55,260 --> 00:56:56,430 Uh, no. 707 00:56:58,630 --> 00:56:59,860 Okay. 708 00:57:00,130 --> 00:57:01,730 I'm gonna have to ask you don't leave town 709 00:57:01,830 --> 00:57:03,200 until we can figure a few things out. 710 00:57:03,300 --> 00:57:04,430 What? No, no, no, officer. 711 00:57:04,530 --> 00:57:06,040 I promised my son that I was gonna take him 712 00:57:06,140 --> 00:57:07,870 -to Horror Heaven. -Actually, officer, 713 00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:10,010 we moved off going to Horror Heaven. 714 00:57:10,110 --> 00:57:11,790 This is obviously far more important. 715 00:57:11,910 --> 00:57:13,410 -Smart kid. -Hmm. 716 00:57:13,910 --> 00:57:15,010 Find a motel. 717 00:57:15,110 --> 00:57:18,450 I'd say stay here, but it's a goddamn mess in there. 718 00:57:18,550 --> 00:57:20,450 I mean, have you actually been up there? 719 00:57:20,550 --> 00:57:21,990 It's like that restaurant... 720 00:57:22,550 --> 00:57:23,850 Spaghetti City. 721 00:57:26,960 --> 00:57:29,190 Hey, bud, you wanna go wait in the car? 722 00:57:29,290 --> 00:57:33,530 Yeah, that's your favorite thing for me to do anyway, isn't it? 723 00:57:34,100 --> 00:57:35,400 Just stay away. 724 00:57:37,570 --> 00:57:39,300 They're bringing the body out! 725 00:57:46,610 --> 00:57:51,980 Let's go, Casco! Let's go, Casco! Let's go! 726 00:58:18,640 --> 00:58:19,290 Hello? 727 00:58:19,410 --> 00:58:22,180 Hal Shelborn, please, if he's available. 728 00:58:22,280 --> 00:58:24,050 -Bill? -Thank goodness. 729 00:58:24,150 --> 00:58:26,890 And Petey? Is he available, too? 730 00:58:26,990 --> 00:58:29,120 Yeah, look, we're fine, but, um... 731 00:58:29,820 --> 00:58:30,920 The monkey's not here. 732 00:58:31,020 --> 00:58:33,390 Aunt Ida had a goddamn yard sale, so it could've been, 733 00:58:33,490 --> 00:58:35,530 but now it could be anywhere with anyone. 734 00:58:35,630 --> 00:58:37,800 Well, that's not good. That's bad. 735 00:58:37,900 --> 00:58:40,070 Yeah, there's all kinds of shit happening in town, 736 00:58:40,170 --> 00:58:42,500 people dying in not normal ways. 737 00:58:42,900 --> 00:58:44,370 Police told me I can't leave. 738 00:58:44,470 --> 00:58:46,340 Go to the motel. Await my signal. 739 00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:48,370 Await your fucking signal?! 740 00:58:51,010 --> 00:58:52,480 Wait, Bill, where are you? 741 00:58:53,850 --> 00:58:55,310 Bill, are you living in town? 742 00:59:12,430 --> 00:59:13,630 Stupid. 743 00:59:21,040 --> 00:59:24,510 Shelborn , Shelborn... Argh. Nope. 744 00:59:38,620 --> 00:59:40,160 "Mrs. Monkey"? 745 00:59:49,500 --> 00:59:50,470 Hello. 746 00:59:50,570 --> 00:59:52,600 If this is in regards to my ad, 747 00:59:52,700 --> 00:59:54,270 I'm happy to report that my quest 748 00:59:54,370 --> 00:59:57,440 for finding my beloved toy monkey is over. 749 00:59:57,740 --> 01:00:00,280 Thank you for calling and be safe out there. 750 01:00:36,450 --> 01:00:39,420 At the very moment you slipped from my fingers, 751 01:00:40,950 --> 01:00:44,050 I suddenly knew the terrible truth about everything. 752 01:00:45,420 --> 01:00:46,760 That my dumbshit brother 753 01:00:46,860 --> 01:00:48,990 had turned your key and killed my mom. 754 01:00:58,430 --> 01:01:01,370 So I went back to get you as soon as I could. 755 01:01:02,910 --> 01:01:04,870 But you were gone. 756 01:01:05,440 --> 01:01:09,410 Leaving behind a sign for me and only me. 757 01:01:09,810 --> 01:01:12,310 That one day, you'd be back. 758 01:01:15,680 --> 01:01:17,320 And so I waited. 759 01:01:19,220 --> 01:01:21,460 And for the longest time, 760 01:01:22,190 --> 01:01:24,060 there was nothing. 761 01:01:24,490 --> 01:01:28,360 A hundred percent, pure, medical-grade nothingness. 762 01:01:34,910 --> 01:01:36,140 But then... 763 01:01:37,580 --> 01:01:39,310 there you were. 764 01:02:04,570 --> 01:02:08,600 Suddenly, everywhere I looked, you were there. 765 01:02:11,870 --> 01:02:16,610 As constant as the sun, the moon, and the stars. 766 01:02:16,910 --> 01:02:19,210 As if you had always been looking down on me. 767 01:02:21,020 --> 01:02:24,790 Letting me know what I had always wanted to be true. 768 01:02:25,950 --> 01:02:29,190 That you'd come back to help me seek my revenge. 769 01:02:33,430 --> 01:02:36,060 I returned to the places where I thought you might be. 770 01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:40,170 Foolishly believing that I could make you appear again. 771 01:02:40,270 --> 01:02:41,200 Fuck. 772 01:02:41,300 --> 01:02:44,070 That it was I who might find you again. 773 01:02:47,040 --> 01:02:49,780 So I made myself ready for your return. 774 01:02:53,150 --> 01:02:56,050 Reworking my old childhood funeral suit 775 01:02:56,150 --> 01:02:57,750 in anticipation of... 776 01:02:59,690 --> 01:03:01,150 more funerals. 777 01:03:01,920 --> 01:03:03,590 And so that I might once again 778 01:03:03,690 --> 01:03:06,590 bear witness to your terrible glory. 779 01:03:07,190 --> 01:03:08,560 Fuck! 780 01:03:11,460 --> 01:03:15,870 So I looked, and behold, a pale horse, 781 01:03:16,400 --> 01:03:19,510 and his name that sat on him was Death. 782 01:03:19,610 --> 01:03:21,370 Mrs. Monkey. 783 01:03:22,280 --> 01:03:23,880 And now, here we are. 784 01:03:24,610 --> 01:03:26,050 Together at last. 785 01:03:26,880 --> 01:03:30,580 With only one thing left to do. 786 01:03:33,450 --> 01:03:35,020 In your infinite wisdom, 787 01:03:36,090 --> 01:03:39,060 I trust your flaming sword of righteousness 788 01:03:40,330 --> 01:03:42,130 will cut the foul air 789 01:03:42,960 --> 01:03:46,070 and smite the right person. 790 01:03:46,730 --> 01:03:49,600 And I know you know exactly who I'm talking about. 791 01:04:06,990 --> 01:04:08,720 Shit, man, that sucks. 792 01:04:14,760 --> 01:04:16,230 Shit, man, that sucks! Ah! 793 01:04:21,100 --> 01:04:22,070 What? 794 01:04:22,670 --> 01:04:24,870 Um, uh, it's Ricky. 795 01:04:24,970 --> 01:04:26,740 What is it? I'm extremely busy. 796 01:04:26,840 --> 01:04:28,670 Okay, yeah, so... 797 01:04:28,770 --> 01:04:31,080 I hope this isn't weird, but I was wondering, 798 01:04:31,180 --> 01:04:33,810 you know, if maybe I could give you your 15 bucks back 799 01:04:33,910 --> 01:04:35,880 and instead I could just keep the toy monkey thing. 800 01:04:35,980 --> 01:04:38,120 It's not a toy, don't ever call it that. 801 01:04:38,220 --> 01:04:41,050 Right, yeah, no, I thought the same thing too. 802 01:04:41,150 --> 01:04:43,160 It just sort of makes me think about my dad, 803 01:04:43,260 --> 01:04:44,820 which I know is kind of a weird thing 804 01:04:44,920 --> 01:04:47,230 for, like, a guy to say, like, to another guy. 805 01:04:53,060 --> 01:04:56,430 Does it hurt very much when you think, Ricky? 806 01:04:59,240 --> 01:05:02,040 -Well-- -"Uh... Well, well..." 807 01:05:02,370 --> 01:05:06,780 Did you know that 27% of all English-speaking people 808 01:05:06,880 --> 01:05:11,480 will either say, "oh, shit" or "holy shit" before they die? 809 01:05:11,950 --> 01:05:13,180 Now it's funny, because death 810 01:05:13,280 --> 01:05:15,520 is the one big thing that'll happen to all of us, 811 01:05:15,620 --> 01:05:20,830 and yet we still can't help but be somehow surprised by it. 812 01:05:23,530 --> 01:05:25,060 Right on, man. 813 01:05:26,500 --> 01:05:27,470 So anyway, 814 01:05:27,570 --> 01:05:29,440 I saw your brother. 815 01:05:29,540 --> 01:05:31,300 He looks like you. 816 01:05:31,600 --> 01:05:33,440 With that's, like, uh... 817 01:05:33,810 --> 01:05:35,170 that's, like, your nephew then, huh? 818 01:05:39,950 --> 01:05:42,810 What if Petey turned the key? 819 01:05:44,750 --> 01:05:46,990 So... so, can I have it back? 820 01:05:47,290 --> 01:05:49,620 Never. I employed you to find the monkey, 821 01:05:49,720 --> 01:05:51,320 not to fall in love with it. 822 01:05:51,420 --> 01:05:52,220 Now fuck off. 823 01:05:59,160 --> 01:06:00,230 Fuck you... 824 01:06:09,270 --> 01:06:12,240 Hey, Ma, are you home or are you at the factory? 825 01:06:21,790 --> 01:06:23,060 Lousy deadbeat. 826 01:06:33,000 --> 01:06:34,100 Yo, Beauchamps! 827 01:06:34,800 --> 01:06:36,640 You got any extra bullets? 828 01:06:38,670 --> 01:06:39,670 What caliber? 829 01:06:47,180 --> 01:06:49,520 Hey, you still got some of Barbara's blood on you. 830 01:06:52,380 --> 01:06:53,420 Yeah. 831 01:06:55,820 --> 01:06:57,390 Accidents happen. 832 01:07:00,830 --> 01:07:02,290 Can I ask you a question? 833 01:07:03,300 --> 01:07:04,460 Ha ha. 834 01:07:04,560 --> 01:07:05,730 Uh, nope. 835 01:07:09,740 --> 01:07:11,040 You ever killed a man? 836 01:07:12,770 --> 01:07:14,710 I... 837 01:07:18,110 --> 01:07:19,110 Jesus. 838 01:07:20,810 --> 01:07:21,780 Does Mom know? 839 01:07:21,880 --> 01:07:24,250 No, I haven't killed anybody. 840 01:07:24,350 --> 01:07:26,650 Of course I haven't killed anybody. 841 01:07:27,950 --> 01:07:30,590 Look, when we get back to the motel, I'm gonna call your mom 842 01:07:30,690 --> 01:07:32,500 and I'm gonna tell her what happened. 843 01:07:32,960 --> 01:07:35,960 She'll think I'm not safe to be around and... 844 01:07:36,830 --> 01:07:38,470 she'll be right. 845 01:07:38,860 --> 01:07:40,730 So Ted will just adopt me and... 846 01:07:41,030 --> 01:07:42,840 you'll never have to see me again? 847 01:07:44,870 --> 01:07:47,010 You're better off with Ted, all right? 848 01:07:48,604 --> 01:07:49,580 Believe me. 849 01:07:52,680 --> 01:07:54,010 Fuck you, man. 850 01:08:02,420 --> 01:08:03,490 Hey, Petey... 851 01:08:07,730 --> 01:08:09,700 Well, I'm here if you need me. 852 01:08:12,830 --> 01:08:15,370 You just do your thing in the bathroom, okay? 853 01:08:15,700 --> 01:08:17,770 And if you wanna have a talk, 854 01:08:17,870 --> 01:08:20,040 we can have a proper talk, all right, buddy? 855 01:08:31,120 --> 01:08:32,250 Yes? 856 01:08:32,350 --> 01:08:34,690 It's me. You have it, don't you? 857 01:08:34,790 --> 01:08:35,920 I don't know, maybe. 858 01:08:36,020 --> 01:08:37,420 Come on, Bill, Mrs. Monkey? 859 01:08:37,530 --> 01:08:38,990 I know you are, but what am I? 860 01:08:39,090 --> 01:08:40,390 Stop turning the key! 861 01:08:40,390 --> 01:08:43,400 Its arms aren't fucking long enough or articulate enough 862 01:08:43,500 --> 01:08:46,200 to reach back there itself, so somebody has to. 863 01:08:47,440 --> 01:08:48,440 And also, no. 864 01:08:48,540 --> 01:08:50,610 Jesus fucking Christ, Bill, 865 01:08:50,640 --> 01:08:51,940 these are innocent people. 866 01:08:52,040 --> 01:08:54,880 Look, I... I don't care about me. 867 01:08:55,180 --> 01:08:58,410 All that matters is that Petey is safe, so stop turning it. 868 01:08:58,510 --> 01:08:59,980 If you want me to stop turning the key, 869 01:09:00,080 --> 01:09:02,320 bring Petey to me so he can turn it instead. 870 01:09:02,420 --> 01:09:04,020 What? No. Why? 871 01:09:04,120 --> 01:09:06,690 The person who turns the key never dies. 872 01:09:07,120 --> 01:09:09,360 You've known that since we were kids, haven't you, Hal? 873 01:09:09,760 --> 01:09:10,920 What? 874 01:09:11,290 --> 01:09:12,660 What are you talking about? 875 01:09:13,860 --> 01:09:15,060 Where are you, Bill? 876 01:09:15,160 --> 01:09:16,700 If you want Petey to be safe, 877 01:09:16,800 --> 01:09:19,170 all Petey has to do is turn the key 878 01:09:19,270 --> 01:09:23,440 and keep turning the key forever and ever and ever, 879 01:09:23,540 --> 01:09:25,470 and Petey will never die. 880 01:09:25,570 --> 01:09:27,210 Listen to me, Bill, all right? 881 01:09:27,310 --> 01:09:29,710 Let me get Petey out of here, then we'll talk, all right? 882 01:09:29,810 --> 01:09:31,510 We'll figure out what we're gonna do. 883 01:09:31,610 --> 01:09:35,150 Either I keep turning the key or Petey turns the key. 884 01:09:35,320 --> 01:09:37,290 Call me back when you made your decision. 885 01:09:37,380 --> 01:09:38,690 Wait, wait, wait, wait! 886 01:09:38,790 --> 01:09:40,020 Bill, Bi-- 887 01:09:40,120 --> 01:09:41,190 Fuck! 888 01:09:48,100 --> 01:09:49,760 Hey, Petey? Petey? 889 01:09:51,630 --> 01:09:52,830 Hey, Petey? 890 01:09:53,130 --> 01:09:55,070 Hey, buddy, we gotta go, all right? 891 01:09:55,370 --> 01:09:57,140 I gotta take you back to your mom's. 892 01:09:58,470 --> 01:09:59,940 Petey, open the door! Come on! 893 01:10:02,680 --> 01:10:03,680 Petey! 894 01:10:04,950 --> 01:10:06,450 Petey, open the door! 895 01:10:07,520 --> 01:10:09,590 Come on, we gotta go right now! 896 01:10:11,650 --> 01:10:13,690 Jesus Christ. 897 01:10:13,790 --> 01:10:15,160 Don't have a heart attack. 898 01:10:16,430 --> 01:10:19,160 Or do, you know? You want out of my life so bad, 899 01:10:19,260 --> 01:10:20,560 it might just be a nice shortcut. 900 01:10:20,660 --> 01:10:22,500 Petey, what the fuck? Why didn't you answer the door? 901 01:10:22,600 --> 01:10:24,300 Why do you care? Why would you even have a kid 902 01:10:24,400 --> 01:10:26,400 if all you're gonna do is just keep yourself away from me? 903 01:10:26,500 --> 01:10:27,790 I didn't exactly know what I was doing, all right? 904 01:10:27,870 --> 01:10:29,900 I was just a stupid, dumb kid. 905 01:10:30,010 --> 01:10:31,370 So I was an accident? Is that what you're saying? 906 01:10:31,470 --> 01:10:33,940 Everything is an accident, yes. 907 01:10:37,310 --> 01:10:38,980 Wow, nice one. 908 01:10:40,780 --> 01:10:41,980 Great to hear. 909 01:10:47,760 --> 01:10:49,760 I... That's not what I... 910 01:10:56,170 --> 01:10:58,370 Yes, it was an accident, Petey. 911 01:11:02,040 --> 01:11:03,510 But you are not a mistake. 912 01:11:07,640 --> 01:11:10,180 I'm so glad you're here with me. 913 01:11:11,950 --> 01:11:13,380 You're very precious to me. 914 01:11:16,390 --> 01:11:18,620 But that's why I stay away, because I... 915 01:11:18,950 --> 01:11:21,290 I come with all sorts of weird baggage, 916 01:11:21,390 --> 01:11:23,060 and I don't want you to have to deal with that. 917 01:11:23,160 --> 01:11:24,860 -Like what? -Like... 918 01:11:25,490 --> 01:11:27,400 Bad stuff, Petey, like... 919 01:11:28,860 --> 01:11:30,630 like evil stuff. 920 01:11:31,000 --> 01:11:33,570 Stuff I got from my dad, and I don't want to pass it on to you. 921 01:11:33,670 --> 01:11:35,340 What are you talking about? Like what? 922 01:11:35,440 --> 01:11:36,500 Like... 923 01:11:42,880 --> 01:11:43,910 Hold on. 924 01:11:44,810 --> 01:11:47,120 Open up, it's the motherfucking police! 925 01:11:48,120 --> 01:11:50,890 All right, all right. 926 01:11:52,050 --> 01:11:54,120 Shut up! Shut up and hands up! 927 01:11:54,220 --> 01:11:56,160 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Just relax, all right? 928 01:11:56,260 --> 01:11:57,830 -Sh, sh! -Just relax, relax. 929 01:11:57,930 --> 01:11:59,600 -Get the keys. -What? 930 01:11:59,700 --> 01:12:00,800 -COME ON! -Okay, okay! 931 01:12:00,900 --> 01:12:02,800 Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. 932 01:12:02,900 --> 01:12:04,600 All right, all right. 933 01:12:06,670 --> 01:12:09,240 We're gonna go for a little drive, okay? 934 01:12:11,070 --> 01:12:12,210 Okay, all right. 935 01:12:35,660 --> 01:12:37,070 All right, stop here. 936 01:12:40,340 --> 01:12:41,400 Where are we? 937 01:12:42,470 --> 01:12:43,510 Huh? 938 01:12:43,610 --> 01:12:44,910 Where are we? 939 01:12:45,710 --> 01:12:47,140 That's your brother's house! 940 01:12:47,240 --> 01:12:48,880 Or his fortress. 941 01:12:49,280 --> 01:12:51,410 Don't pretend like you don't know where we are! 942 01:12:51,520 --> 01:12:52,620 I don't know, all right? 943 01:12:52,720 --> 01:12:54,920 We're, you know, we're estranged. 944 01:12:55,020 --> 01:12:57,690 -Ah, shit, man, that sucks. -Thanks. 945 01:12:57,790 --> 01:12:59,690 -Shut up! -Okay. 946 01:12:59,790 --> 01:13:02,230 You, you go inside, 947 01:13:02,330 --> 01:13:05,000 you make nice with your uncle, you get me the monkey. 948 01:13:05,100 --> 01:13:07,230 -And you bring it out, okay? -What monkey? 949 01:13:09,930 --> 01:13:11,770 It's... It's got a little red vest, 950 01:13:11,870 --> 01:13:13,700 and it holds a drum, and I need it. 951 01:13:13,800 --> 01:13:15,740 Why does this guy know about a monkey and I don't? 952 01:13:15,840 --> 01:13:17,610 He doesn't know about it and he's not going in there. 953 01:13:17,710 --> 01:13:18,670 It's a toy monkey? 954 01:13:18,770 --> 01:13:20,710 Don't call it that, all right? 955 01:13:20,810 --> 01:13:22,150 It's not. It's... 956 01:13:22,250 --> 01:13:23,450 It's evil. 957 01:13:23,780 --> 01:13:25,350 It's basically the devil, all right? 958 01:13:25,450 --> 01:13:26,650 It's a toy monkey. 959 01:13:26,750 --> 01:13:28,550 I was gonna tell you when you were older, okay? 960 01:13:28,650 --> 01:13:31,320 You've been a goddamn deadbeat dad because of a toy monkey? 961 01:13:31,420 --> 01:13:32,760 What the fuck? 962 01:13:32,860 --> 01:13:34,820 Hey, language, and yes, but that's why we have to get 963 01:13:34,930 --> 01:13:36,390 as far away from this place as possible. 964 01:13:36,490 --> 01:13:38,930 Seriously, kid, you gotta hope you get that goddamn monkey, 965 01:13:39,030 --> 01:13:40,560 because I'm gonna shoot this guy. 966 01:13:40,660 --> 01:13:43,200 All right, just let me go in there with him. 967 01:13:43,300 --> 01:13:44,430 -Please. -No! 968 01:13:45,730 --> 01:13:47,840 There is a doggy door around back, 969 01:13:47,940 --> 01:13:50,570 and your kid better hope that he's scrawny enough to fit. 970 01:13:50,940 --> 01:13:52,810 You don't call the cops or do anything. 971 01:13:52,910 --> 01:13:54,980 You get in there, you get me the monkey, 972 01:13:55,250 --> 01:13:57,610 or I swear I'm gonna shoot you both, like, a lot of times. 973 01:13:57,710 --> 01:13:58,880 He's not going in there. 974 01:13:58,980 --> 01:14:01,280 -Shut up! -All right. 975 01:14:01,380 --> 01:14:02,350 Go. 976 01:14:03,490 --> 01:14:04,690 Hal... 977 01:14:04,790 --> 01:14:06,820 this is some fucked up shit. 978 01:14:07,260 --> 01:14:08,290 I know. 979 01:14:10,590 --> 01:14:11,960 So whatever you do, 980 01:14:12,060 --> 01:14:14,100 don't turn the key in the monkey's back. 981 01:14:17,500 --> 01:14:19,040 Okay, okay! 982 01:14:42,520 --> 01:14:43,890 Fuck... 983 01:15:20,160 --> 01:15:21,400 Fuck. 984 01:15:38,750 --> 01:15:39,850 Huh. 985 01:15:41,180 --> 01:15:43,620 Kinda cool... I guess. 986 01:16:13,880 --> 01:16:15,480 You're not really a cop, are you? 987 01:16:16,550 --> 01:16:18,390 Shut up! Of course not. 988 01:16:18,950 --> 01:16:20,460 I hate cops. 989 01:16:21,090 --> 01:16:22,590 My dad was a cop. 990 01:16:23,760 --> 01:16:25,930 Still is, for all I know. 991 01:16:26,330 --> 01:16:28,160 You know, my mom said he was out chasing pussy, 992 01:16:28,260 --> 01:16:30,200 but I'm all like, there's pussy here in town, you know? 993 01:16:30,300 --> 01:16:31,970 -Yeah, I know. -But whatever. 994 01:16:32,330 --> 01:16:33,530 He left. 995 01:16:33,870 --> 01:16:35,470 And that's why I hate cops. 996 01:16:35,770 --> 01:16:36,810 But also they're cops, you know? 997 01:16:36,900 --> 01:16:38,640 Which is the best reason to hate cops. 998 01:16:38,740 --> 01:16:39,810 What the fuck? 999 01:16:42,710 --> 01:16:44,210 Uh... 1000 01:16:47,380 --> 01:16:50,150 What the hell is that doing there? 1001 01:16:51,790 --> 01:16:53,550 Hit it with your brights. 1002 01:16:53,920 --> 01:16:56,290 Hit it with my brights, okay. 1003 01:16:58,030 --> 01:16:59,860 Oh, gross! Shut it off! 1004 01:16:59,960 --> 01:17:01,200 -Okay! -Shut it off! 1005 01:17:01,300 --> 01:17:02,960 I'm shutting it off. Jesus! 1006 01:17:03,230 --> 01:17:04,300 In your infinite wisdom, 1007 01:17:04,400 --> 01:17:06,330 I trust your flaming sword of righteousness 1008 01:17:06,700 --> 01:17:10,970 will cut the foul air and strike the right person 1009 01:17:11,070 --> 01:17:14,380 and only the right person. 1010 01:17:14,980 --> 01:17:16,110 Uncle Bill? 1011 01:17:18,610 --> 01:17:19,650 Petey. 1012 01:17:20,850 --> 01:17:22,280 What a nice surprise. 1013 01:17:23,350 --> 01:17:25,290 -You okay? -Who, me? 1014 01:17:25,850 --> 01:17:27,120 Yeah. 1015 01:17:27,690 --> 01:17:28,760 You. 1016 01:17:30,590 --> 01:17:32,990 It's been a long time since anyone's asked me that. 1017 01:17:34,560 --> 01:17:36,430 Now that you mention it... 1018 01:17:37,870 --> 01:17:38,930 No. 1019 01:17:40,270 --> 01:17:41,570 I'm not okay. 1020 01:17:47,340 --> 01:17:49,510 This was my favorite toy from childhood. 1021 01:17:51,610 --> 01:17:54,350 It's supposed to play the drums, but I think it's stuck. 1022 01:17:56,620 --> 01:17:58,190 Could you fix it for me? 1023 01:18:02,890 --> 01:18:04,790 It was your grandfather's, you know. 1024 01:18:05,230 --> 01:18:07,360 He brought it home from one of his trips. 1025 01:18:08,260 --> 01:18:09,330 He was a pilot. 1026 01:18:10,000 --> 01:18:11,400 He was a Petey too. 1027 01:18:13,270 --> 01:18:14,600 Did you know that? 1028 01:18:15,040 --> 01:18:17,770 -Hal never tells me anything. -No, of course, he doesn't. 1029 01:18:18,810 --> 01:18:20,840 So this is it then, huh? 1030 01:18:21,310 --> 01:18:23,040 The thing that messed everyone up? 1031 01:18:23,650 --> 01:18:24,910 How could it? 1032 01:18:26,480 --> 01:18:27,850 It's just a toy. 1033 01:18:29,250 --> 01:18:31,290 Why don't you try turning it, hmm? 1034 01:18:32,850 --> 01:18:34,350 Probably just needs a different touch. 1035 01:18:36,490 --> 01:18:37,730 There. 1036 01:18:38,130 --> 01:18:40,790 Turning the key is just simply something 1037 01:18:40,890 --> 01:18:44,000 the Shelborn men have been doing for generations. 1038 01:18:44,100 --> 01:18:47,130 It's a... A tradition, if you will. 1039 01:18:49,100 --> 01:18:53,210 But if it's not for you, then it's not for you. 1040 01:18:55,810 --> 01:18:57,280 What does it do? 1041 01:18:58,410 --> 01:18:59,810 Turn the key. 1042 01:19:00,650 --> 01:19:02,250 See what happens. 1043 01:19:52,170 --> 01:19:53,530 You want me to back up? 1044 01:19:53,630 --> 01:19:55,370 No! Don't fucking move. 1045 01:19:55,470 --> 01:19:56,640 Hey, okay. Okay. 1046 01:19:57,340 --> 01:19:58,510 Is it working? 1047 01:20:05,180 --> 01:20:07,110 Man, this stupid cop hat! 1048 01:20:07,620 --> 01:20:08,920 It's crazy itchy. 1049 01:20:09,520 --> 01:20:10,650 What? 1050 01:20:13,150 --> 01:20:14,860 Jesus fucking Christ! 1051 01:20:17,830 --> 01:20:19,460 Let's be careful with that pistol, huh? 1052 01:20:20,760 --> 01:20:22,160 Yeah. 1053 01:20:22,530 --> 01:20:23,870 -Totally. -Yeah. Right. 1054 01:20:23,960 --> 01:20:24,930 Fuck. 1055 01:20:49,360 --> 01:20:50,460 Uh... 1056 01:21:00,200 --> 01:21:01,940 Holy shit! 1057 01:21:04,340 --> 01:21:05,970 -Shit! Shit! -Oh! 1058 01:21:08,180 --> 01:21:09,680 Jesus Christ! Fuck! 1059 01:21:09,780 --> 01:21:11,480 Fuck! Jesus! 1060 01:21:12,480 --> 01:21:14,050 FUCK! 1061 01:21:20,290 --> 01:21:21,290 Fuck! 1062 01:21:28,230 --> 01:21:29,530 What the fuck?! 1063 01:21:34,040 --> 01:21:35,400 Fuck. 1064 01:21:40,110 --> 01:21:41,480 PETEY, WHERE ARE YOU?! 1065 01:21:41,580 --> 01:21:43,250 -Dad! -Petey! 1066 01:21:43,550 --> 01:21:44,280 Turn it again. 1067 01:21:44,380 --> 01:21:45,850 Turn the goddamn key right now! 1068 01:21:45,950 --> 01:21:47,180 What? No! 1069 01:21:47,550 --> 01:21:49,790 Then give me the fucking monkey! 1070 01:21:51,550 --> 01:21:52,320 That's it! 1071 01:21:52,420 --> 01:21:54,120 I'm not asking nicely anymore. 1072 01:21:54,220 --> 01:21:55,960 Do it. Kill him. 1073 01:21:56,060 --> 01:21:58,760 Kill my dumb shit brother, and do it now! 1074 01:22:00,830 --> 01:22:03,030 God... damn you! 1075 01:22:03,130 --> 01:22:05,600 Strike the goddamn drum! 1076 01:22:05,700 --> 01:22:06,870 God-fucking... 1077 01:22:07,370 --> 01:22:08,870 I command you! 1078 01:22:10,840 --> 01:22:11,840 Fuck. 1079 01:22:18,350 --> 01:22:20,380 Godd... Will you, please? 1080 01:22:22,450 --> 01:22:24,090 Goddamn it! 1081 01:22:25,260 --> 01:22:26,490 Godd... 1082 01:22:26,590 --> 01:22:28,520 How are you so goddamn strong? 1083 01:22:37,500 --> 01:22:38,470 Hey! 1084 01:22:38,570 --> 01:22:40,200 Huh? Petey! 1085 01:22:40,300 --> 01:22:41,470 Oh, Jesus Christ! 1086 01:22:41,570 --> 01:22:43,070 Ah, thank God. Come on. 1087 01:22:44,740 --> 01:22:47,010 God... damn it! 1088 01:23:26,450 --> 01:23:27,890 What did I do wrong? 1089 01:23:36,930 --> 01:23:38,900 What is that? 1090 01:23:59,390 --> 01:24:01,120 Jesus Christ! 1091 01:24:03,490 --> 01:24:04,960 Ah! Godd...! 1092 01:24:13,630 --> 01:24:14,970 What the... 1093 01:24:15,330 --> 01:24:16,370 Bill. 1094 01:24:19,240 --> 01:24:21,840 Fuck. The drumstick's still up, Petey. 1095 01:24:21,970 --> 01:24:23,310 Hello, dumbshit. 1096 01:24:23,880 --> 01:24:26,450 That's all you can say at a time like this, you fucker?! 1097 01:24:26,550 --> 01:24:27,710 Dumbshit's what you are. 1098 01:24:28,510 --> 01:24:30,320 Fuck... You fuck! 1099 01:24:36,720 --> 01:24:38,220 Jesus Christ, Bill. 1100 01:24:40,260 --> 01:24:42,460 You were really trying to kill me, weren't you? 1101 01:24:43,760 --> 01:24:44,900 Of course I was. 1102 01:24:45,000 --> 01:24:46,970 That's what all this carnage was for, huh? 1103 01:24:47,070 --> 01:24:48,200 You could've killed Petey! 1104 01:24:48,300 --> 01:24:49,840 You could've killed my fucking son! 1105 01:24:49,940 --> 01:24:51,370 For what? Why? 1106 01:24:52,340 --> 01:24:54,040 'Cause you killed my mom. 1107 01:25:03,520 --> 01:25:05,550 And I know you wanted to kill me. 1108 01:25:07,250 --> 01:25:10,290 But the goddamn thing doesn't take requests, obviously. 1109 01:25:15,260 --> 01:25:18,600 I've been turning the key with you in mind for days. 1110 01:25:19,370 --> 01:25:20,400 Nothing. 1111 01:25:29,310 --> 01:25:30,610 Listen, Bill. 1112 01:25:33,580 --> 01:25:34,980 It's not my fault. 1113 01:25:37,620 --> 01:25:39,650 It wasn't anybody's fault. 1114 01:25:41,590 --> 01:25:43,920 None of us deserved what happened to us. 1115 01:25:45,890 --> 01:25:48,100 We just happened to be there when it did. 1116 01:25:49,860 --> 01:25:50,860 Mommy? 1117 01:25:55,540 --> 01:25:56,700 I'm sorry, Bill. 1118 01:25:59,140 --> 01:26:01,710 But I guess I gotta go now. 1119 01:26:02,140 --> 01:26:05,110 Everybody dies, and that's life. 1120 01:26:09,320 --> 01:26:11,120 I'm sorry your mom died. 1121 01:26:13,690 --> 01:26:15,090 It fucking sucks. 1122 01:26:16,430 --> 01:26:17,930 I know how you feel. 1123 01:26:20,530 --> 01:26:22,160 She was my mom, too. 1124 01:26:26,230 --> 01:26:27,570 Oh, yeah. 1125 01:26:30,010 --> 01:26:31,170 I guess she was. 1126 01:26:33,480 --> 01:26:35,240 Never thought about it like that. 1127 01:26:37,610 --> 01:26:39,550 Innocent mistake, I guess. 1128 01:26:39,650 --> 01:26:41,020 Sure. 1129 01:26:41,080 --> 01:26:42,620 Makes sense, though, you know. 1130 01:26:43,990 --> 01:26:45,620 We're brothers. 1131 01:26:47,090 --> 01:26:48,090 Twins. 1132 01:26:48,190 --> 01:26:49,390 Right. 1133 01:26:54,200 --> 01:26:55,260 I'm sorry. 1134 01:26:58,570 --> 01:27:00,900 I wish we could have been there for each other 1135 01:27:01,000 --> 01:27:02,340 when we were kids. 1136 01:27:04,410 --> 01:27:05,570 But we're here now. 1137 01:27:08,140 --> 01:27:09,550 What do you say, Bill? 1138 01:27:11,480 --> 01:27:12,780 Brothers again? 1139 01:27:18,250 --> 01:27:19,490 Sure. 1140 01:27:26,130 --> 01:27:27,130 Nah... 1141 01:27:35,740 --> 01:27:36,840 I'm sorry. 1142 01:27:46,520 --> 01:27:49,590 So what, you two are on some kind of road trip or something? 1143 01:27:50,320 --> 01:27:51,420 Yeah. 1144 01:27:52,290 --> 01:27:53,490 A kind of... 1145 01:27:53,820 --> 01:27:55,960 father-son road trip, right? 1146 01:27:57,430 --> 01:27:58,700 Cool. 1147 01:27:59,160 --> 01:28:00,960 I would like to have done that 1148 01:28:02,130 --> 01:28:03,900 with somebody at least once. 1149 01:28:04,430 --> 01:28:05,540 So come with us. 1150 01:28:17,210 --> 01:28:18,410 Jesus! 1151 01:28:32,160 --> 01:28:33,300 Fuck. 1152 01:29:00,860 --> 01:29:01,890 So Uncle Bill pretty much 1153 01:29:01,990 --> 01:29:04,530 wiped out half the town where you grew up, huh? 1154 01:29:06,700 --> 01:29:07,700 Yeah. 1155 01:29:12,070 --> 01:29:14,340 I mean, I get that everybody dies, 1156 01:29:14,440 --> 01:29:15,840 and that's life, but... 1157 01:29:15,940 --> 01:29:17,810 it's just, like, everybody dies, 1158 01:29:17,910 --> 01:29:19,540 you know, at the same time. 1159 01:29:25,920 --> 01:29:26,950 So, uh... 1160 01:29:27,950 --> 01:29:29,750 what do you want to do now? 1161 01:29:31,690 --> 01:29:34,960 I guess we gotta figure out what we're gonna do with the monkey. 1162 01:29:37,230 --> 01:29:38,660 We keep it close. 1163 01:29:39,960 --> 01:29:41,770 We accept that it's ours... 1164 01:29:43,100 --> 01:29:44,630 and we hold on tight. 1165 01:30:36,290 --> 01:30:38,620 Hey, I just got an idea of what we should do right now. 1166 01:30:41,820 --> 01:30:43,360 Let's go dancing. 1167 01:30:44,490 --> 01:30:45,860 -Dancing? -Yeah. 1168 01:30:45,960 --> 01:30:48,160 Like, with our bodies? 1169 01:30:48,260 --> 01:30:49,600 Where did that shit come from? 1170 01:30:52,370 --> 01:30:53,870 It comes from your grandmother. 1171 01:30:55,300 --> 01:30:56,410 From Lois. 1172 01:31:03,050 --> 01:31:04,080 Cool. 1173 01:31:06,250 --> 01:31:07,680 Yeah, it is cool.