1 00:00:01,531 --> 00:00:05,355 (menacing foreboding music) 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:14,424 --> 00:00:18,248 (exciting unsettling music) 5 00:00:20,465 --> 00:00:23,419 (liquid gurgling) 6 00:00:25,727 --> 00:00:28,508 (man screaming) 7 00:00:36,293 --> 00:00:39,464 (door opening) 8 00:00:39,508 --> 00:00:43,562 - Movie time and you can't have movies without snackies. 9 00:00:43,606 --> 00:00:45,001 What am I gonna get, what am I gonna get? 10 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:48,063 I love snackies! 11 00:00:48,107 --> 00:00:50,975 Mm, so many choices. 12 00:00:51,019 --> 00:00:52,586 So many choices. 13 00:00:53,694 --> 00:00:54,562 Ooh. 14 00:00:58,433 --> 00:01:00,829 Oh, I know I could have everything. 15 00:01:00,873 --> 00:01:02,362 I know I could grab everything I want. 16 00:01:02,406 --> 00:01:05,459 But I gotta watch my girlish figure. 17 00:01:05,503 --> 00:01:06,522 And I just don't know. 18 00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:07,742 What's the thing? 19 00:01:07,786 --> 00:01:12,419 Chippies, peanut butter, cereal. 20 00:01:13,511 --> 00:01:15,844 Could down a whole bottle of hot sauce 21 00:01:15,888 --> 00:01:17,361 and some peanut butter? 22 00:01:18,234 --> 00:01:19,817 Maybe. 23 00:01:19,861 --> 00:01:23,101 No, that's too strange. 24 00:01:23,145 --> 00:01:24,587 Probably some popcorny. 25 00:01:25,863 --> 00:01:26,861 Mm-hm. 26 00:01:26,905 --> 00:01:28,607 (wrapper rustling) 27 00:01:28,651 --> 00:01:31,360 Definitely, definitely this popcorn. 28 00:01:31,403 --> 00:01:32,423 This is good. 29 00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:34,206 Maybe the peanut butter. 30 00:01:34,250 --> 00:01:36,646 Maybe some olives. 31 00:01:36,690 --> 00:01:40,369 No, I'll start with, I'll start with just the popcorn. 32 00:01:40,412 --> 00:01:42,089 Just the popcorn for now. 33 00:01:42,133 --> 00:01:44,779 And then something to drink. 34 00:01:44,823 --> 00:01:46,908 Gotta go somewhere else for that though. 35 00:01:49,409 --> 00:01:52,672 (door opening) 36 00:01:52,715 --> 00:01:56,365 ♪ I got myself my popcorn ♪ 37 00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:00,920 I'm starting to think that maybe I want some sweet treats. 38 00:02:00,964 --> 00:02:02,359 No, this will be good. 39 00:02:02,403 --> 00:02:04,987 I gotta, I gotta keep my figure in check. 40 00:02:05,031 --> 00:02:05,856 So let's see here. 41 00:02:05,899 --> 00:02:07,802 What we gonna get for a drink? 42 00:02:07,846 --> 00:02:10,618 Just some plane old la chuga. 43 00:02:10,661 --> 00:02:12,901 I know they call it, actually, it's called agua, 44 00:02:12,945 --> 00:02:15,179 but I like calling it la chuga. 45 00:02:18,144 --> 00:02:21,968 (foreboding menacing music) 46 00:02:49,020 --> 00:02:52,930 (foreboding music continues) 47 00:03:20,416 --> 00:03:24,326 (foreboding music continues) 48 00:03:51,655 --> 00:03:55,565 (foreboding music continues) 49 00:04:22,901 --> 00:04:26,811 (foreboding music continues) 50 00:05:00,108 --> 00:05:01,101 (door creaking) 51 00:05:01,144 --> 00:05:02,013 Ooh. 52 00:05:03,616 --> 00:05:07,044 My DVD and Blue-ray dojo. 53 00:05:07,088 --> 00:05:08,577 My sanctuary! 54 00:05:08,621 --> 00:05:11,549 So many movies everywhere. 55 00:05:11,592 --> 00:05:14,614 But tonight, I think I'm just gonna watch TV. 56 00:05:14,658 --> 00:05:17,711 I'm gonna channel surf and find, I'm sure I'm gonna find 57 00:05:17,755 --> 00:05:19,212 the most perfect thing to watch. 58 00:05:19,256 --> 00:05:24,470 Like maybe a strange movie or a horror movie, anything. 59 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,940 It's gonna be mysterious for me tonight. 60 00:05:27,984 --> 00:05:30,161 Sorry, DVDs and Blue-rays, I'm not watching you tonight. 61 00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:32,225 I'm watching the, the TV. 62 00:05:32,269 --> 00:05:33,729 So I'm gonna find something. 63 00:05:37,368 --> 00:05:38,789 Oh, I'm living. 64 00:05:43,155 --> 00:05:44,675 - Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. 65 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:47,397 And welcome to "Terror Telly." 66 00:05:47,441 --> 00:05:49,086 What was that? 67 00:05:49,130 --> 00:05:52,183 A ghost in the air, perhaps a witch's spell. 68 00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:54,310 Tonight, I, your hideous host, 69 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,406 Maurice Morbid, wish to delight you 70 00:05:56,450 --> 00:05:59,487 with some fantastic films you've never seen before. 71 00:06:00,422 --> 00:06:02,412 To start our evening, 72 00:06:02,456 --> 00:06:04,984 I will greet you with a beautiful tale, 73 00:06:05,028 --> 00:06:08,856 "Fiendish Thieves," a tale of two bungling burglars 74 00:06:08,900 --> 00:06:12,359 who go into an old scientific warehouse 75 00:06:12,403 --> 00:06:16,190 and find much more than they bargained for. 76 00:06:16,234 --> 00:06:19,952 (Maurice laughing sinisterly) 77 00:06:19,996 --> 00:06:22,678 (ominous music) 78 00:06:22,722 --> 00:06:26,285 (lively '80s club music) 79 00:06:54,584 --> 00:06:59,015 (lively '80s club music continues) 80 00:07:25,467 --> 00:07:29,898 (lively '80s club music continues) 81 00:07:57,331 --> 00:08:01,763 (lively '80s club music continues) 82 00:08:13,262 --> 00:08:17,015 (footsteps approaching) 83 00:08:17,059 --> 00:08:18,884 - [Steve] Ted, bloody cold in here. 84 00:08:22,639 --> 00:08:24,335 - [Ted] When we get to the top, 85 00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:25,446 we're in good stead. 86 00:08:26,412 --> 00:08:29,010 We're gonna be treated with a log fire. 87 00:08:29,053 --> 00:08:30,685 A nice cup of hot chocolate. 88 00:08:30,729 --> 00:08:32,197 - [Steve] Oh, I love hot chocolate. 89 00:08:32,241 --> 00:08:33,255 - [Ted] I know you do. 90 00:08:34,983 --> 00:08:37,630 Steve, in case you hadn't noticed, all (indistinct) 91 00:08:37,673 --> 00:08:38,974 break in, not (indistinct). 92 00:08:40,865 --> 00:08:41,756 - [Steve] There'll be no hot chocolate then? 93 00:08:41,799 --> 00:08:43,604 - [Ted] No, no, no. 94 00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:45,316 - [Steve] Or the York chocolate? 95 00:08:46,432 --> 00:08:47,257 - [Ted] What are we doing here? 96 00:08:47,301 --> 00:08:48,516 It's called a burglary. 97 00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:50,549 The whole point is we break in. 98 00:08:50,593 --> 00:08:52,050 Steal what we need to steal. 99 00:08:52,094 --> 00:08:53,774 And then get out of there. 100 00:08:53,818 --> 00:08:55,147 There's no hot chocolate. 101 00:08:55,191 --> 00:08:56,859 And there ain't no marshmallows. 102 00:08:58,127 --> 00:08:59,807 - [Steve] Or maybe that (indistinct). 103 00:09:02,698 --> 00:09:06,181 So, Ted, what is this? 104 00:09:07,332 --> 00:09:10,880 - [Ted] Some kind of science warehouse or something. 105 00:09:10,923 --> 00:09:12,909 - [Steve] What is it we're supposed to be stealing? 106 00:09:12,952 --> 00:09:15,292 - [Ted] Have you not listened to a word (indistinct) 107 00:09:15,336 --> 00:09:16,841 when he delivered our brief? 108 00:09:20,404 --> 00:09:24,020 We're meant to be stealing a rare-rated pocket watch. 109 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:26,178 Apparently, it's worth millions. 110 00:09:26,222 --> 00:09:27,085 - [Steve] Pocket watch? 111 00:09:27,129 --> 00:09:31,465 But pocket watch is like really small. 112 00:09:31,509 --> 00:09:33,076 - Well, the clue in the name. 113 00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:40,163 - So how are we meant to find tiny, little pocket watch? 114 00:09:40,553 --> 00:09:43,247 There's (indistinct). 115 00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:48,505 - You look up there (indistinct). 116 00:09:49,071 --> 00:09:50,721 They gave us a map. 117 00:09:52,151 --> 00:09:53,925 - I, I thought you said this place 118 00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:55,708 had been abandoned for years. 119 00:09:55,752 --> 00:10:00,369 So how is it then that Big Tom knows it's still there? 120 00:10:00,412 --> 00:10:01,870 And how is it that he's given you 121 00:10:01,914 --> 00:10:03,313 a map to show you where it is. 122 00:10:03,357 --> 00:10:05,217 And how is it if he knows where it is, 123 00:10:05,261 --> 00:10:06,562 he don't come here... Stop. 124 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:09,176 With all the questions. 125 00:10:09,220 --> 00:10:10,413 We got a job to do. 126 00:10:10,457 --> 00:10:12,456 Let's get on and do it. 127 00:10:13,576 --> 00:10:14,618 - All right. 128 00:10:24,168 --> 00:10:27,992 (foreboding menacing music) 129 00:10:55,105 --> 00:10:59,797 (foreboding menacing music continues) 130 00:11:26,389 --> 00:11:31,081 (foreboding menacing music continues) 131 00:11:57,685 --> 00:12:02,377 (foreboding menacing music continues) 132 00:12:28,867 --> 00:12:33,559 (foreboding menacing music continues) 133 00:12:59,023 --> 00:13:01,977 (vacuous humming) 134 00:13:10,728 --> 00:13:11,862 Creepy this, isn't it? 135 00:13:11,906 --> 00:13:13,906 It is quite fun though, it's like, 136 00:13:13,950 --> 00:13:15,220 it's like being in "Scooby-Doo," isn't it? 137 00:13:15,264 --> 00:13:17,566 You know, it's like, like, like I'm Shaggy. 138 00:13:17,610 --> 00:13:19,192 And you're, you're Scooby, and. 139 00:13:19,236 --> 00:13:21,628 No, probably you'd be Shaggy, yeah. 140 00:13:21,672 --> 00:13:22,820 I'd be, be, like, "Shaggy." 141 00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:25,994 And all that kind of stuff, you know what I mean? 142 00:13:26,038 --> 00:13:28,511 And... Don't you ever shut up? 143 00:13:28,555 --> 00:13:29,891 - No, sorry, I, I'm nervous. 144 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:32,706 And when I get nervous, my mouth runs away with me. 145 00:13:32,750 --> 00:13:34,176 And I just can't stop talking. 146 00:13:34,220 --> 00:13:35,459 There's (indistinct). 147 00:13:35,503 --> 00:13:36,616 That. 148 00:13:36,660 --> 00:13:37,774 - That's all. 149 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,242 - I'll shut up. - Yes. 150 00:13:39,285 --> 00:13:40,154 - Sorry. 151 00:13:44,605 --> 00:13:47,188 (Steve speaking indistinctly) 152 00:13:47,232 --> 00:13:49,925 Ted, Ted, you stored your lamp. 153 00:13:56,569 --> 00:14:00,566 (foreboding unsettling music) 154 00:14:27,621 --> 00:14:32,488 (foreboding unsettling music continues) 155 00:14:59,111 --> 00:15:03,977 (foreboding unsettling music continues) 156 00:15:30,023 --> 00:15:31,637 - Come to think of it, ladies and gentlemen, 157 00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:35,266 this is the very film that made me, I, Maurice Morbid 158 00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:37,565 scared of staircases. 159 00:15:40,295 --> 00:15:42,988 (bag rustling) 160 00:15:48,886 --> 00:15:50,766 - Ready, everyone, you ready? 161 00:15:51,731 --> 00:15:54,191 (hooting like a chimp) 162 00:15:54,235 --> 00:15:55,677 Ugh, dammit. 163 00:15:57,363 --> 00:15:59,478 Okay, come on, come on, come on, come on. 164 00:15:59,522 --> 00:16:02,543 Come on, Shawn C., you can do this, come on, come on. 165 00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:03,456 Oh, yes. 166 00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:09,112 I got it figured out, I have got it figured out. 167 00:16:09,156 --> 00:16:10,981 I have everything figured out here. 168 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:13,739 Come on, come on, can you do it again, Shawn C.? 169 00:16:13,783 --> 00:16:14,825 Can you do it again? 170 00:16:15,834 --> 00:16:17,718 Aw, dang. 171 00:16:17,762 --> 00:16:19,060 All right, come on, come on, come on. 172 00:16:19,104 --> 00:16:20,198 Try again, try again. 173 00:16:21,137 --> 00:16:22,336 Everyone, you watching? 174 00:16:23,275 --> 00:16:24,144 Ooh, yes. 175 00:16:25,272 --> 00:16:26,141 Ooh, yes. 176 00:16:28,577 --> 00:16:32,573 (foreboding unsettling music) 177 00:17:00,034 --> 00:17:04,900 (foreboding unsettling music continues) 178 00:17:29,980 --> 00:17:34,846 (foreboding unsettling music continues) 179 00:17:36,158 --> 00:17:39,025 (static hissing) 180 00:17:44,073 --> 00:17:46,940 (items rattling) 181 00:17:55,637 --> 00:17:58,010 - [Ted] I found (indistinct) here. 182 00:17:58,054 --> 00:18:00,130 - What, what? - You've been using 183 00:18:00,173 --> 00:18:02,663 my toothpaste again, haven't ya? 184 00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:04,634 - No. - Yes you have. 185 00:18:04,678 --> 00:18:05,635 - No. - It was squeezed 186 00:18:05,679 --> 00:18:07,087 in the middle this morning. 187 00:18:09,433 --> 00:18:10,640 - No. - Yeah. 188 00:18:10,684 --> 00:18:11,735 It was squeezed in the middle. 189 00:18:11,779 --> 00:18:13,190 I always roll it up. 190 00:18:14,969 --> 00:18:16,709 And just squeeze it from one end. 191 00:18:16,753 --> 00:18:18,023 And this morning when I went in there, 192 00:18:18,066 --> 00:18:19,630 it was squeezed in the middle. 193 00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:23,030 So have you been using my toothpaste? 194 00:18:24,166 --> 00:18:26,950 - [Steve] Well, I had one, one squeeze. 195 00:18:26,994 --> 00:18:28,658 - [Ted] What does it matter whether it's one squeeze, 196 00:18:28,702 --> 00:18:32,600 two squeeze, three squeeze, you've been using my toothpaste. 197 00:18:32,643 --> 00:18:34,258 Don't use my toothpaste. 198 00:18:34,301 --> 00:18:35,627 It's my toothpaste. 199 00:18:35,670 --> 00:18:37,824 You got your own toothpaste. 200 00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,588 It's right next to my toothpaste. 201 00:18:41,778 --> 00:18:43,079 - [Steve] But it was only one- 202 00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:45,050 - [Ted] It doesn't matter how many squeezes. 203 00:18:45,093 --> 00:18:46,160 Don't use it. 204 00:18:48,977 --> 00:18:51,845 (items rattling) 205 00:18:54,210 --> 00:18:56,556 - [Steve] Only one squeeze. 206 00:19:11,460 --> 00:19:12,285 (metal scraping) 207 00:19:12,329 --> 00:19:13,154 - You know something? 208 00:19:13,197 --> 00:19:15,080 These burglars are pretty darn stupid. 209 00:19:15,123 --> 00:19:17,645 If I, I was a bungling burglar, 210 00:19:17,688 --> 00:19:21,617 I would bungle better and faster than these burglars. 211 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:24,151 Just look at them, aren't they a disgrace, 212 00:19:24,195 --> 00:19:25,809 ladies and gentlemen? 213 00:19:25,853 --> 00:19:28,906 Yes, bungle, you burglars. 214 00:19:28,950 --> 00:19:31,174 Bungle, why don't you? 215 00:19:32,178 --> 00:19:34,630 I can't believe these people are paid more than me. 216 00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,320 It's a disgrace. 217 00:19:36,363 --> 00:19:38,150 I'm going to complain to my agent. 218 00:19:41,775 --> 00:19:43,047 - This is ridiculous. 219 00:19:46,462 --> 00:19:47,591 What are you? 220 00:19:54,500 --> 00:19:58,497 (foreboding unsettling music) 221 00:20:25,352 --> 00:20:30,218 (foreboding unsettling music continues) 222 00:20:56,686 --> 00:21:01,553 (foreboding unsettling music continues) 223 00:21:18,317 --> 00:21:21,185 (water spraying) 224 00:21:28,382 --> 00:21:31,794 - [Steve] Which (indistinct), where'd you hear that? 225 00:21:31,838 --> 00:21:35,300 Found it, it was disgusting out back. 226 00:21:35,344 --> 00:21:38,082 - [Ted] What, for stealing? 227 00:21:38,126 --> 00:21:42,122 (foreboding unsettling music) 228 00:22:08,585 --> 00:22:13,452 (foreboding unsettling music continues) 229 00:22:40,113 --> 00:22:44,979 (foreboding unsettling music continues) 230 00:23:11,431 --> 00:23:16,297 (foreboding unsettling music continues) 231 00:23:42,475 --> 00:23:47,341 (foreboding unsettling music continues) 232 00:24:13,938 --> 00:24:18,804 (foreboding unsettling music continues) 233 00:24:27,357 --> 00:24:30,399 (Maurice cackling) 234 00:24:33,501 --> 00:24:35,541 - I'm getting kind of freaked out here. 235 00:24:43,122 --> 00:24:45,848 (bag rustling) 236 00:24:45,892 --> 00:24:46,716 (Sean crunching) 237 00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:49,398 - Mm-hm, mm-hm, woo woo. 238 00:24:52,961 --> 00:24:56,421 I like cheese pop pop pop popcorn. 239 00:24:56,465 --> 00:25:01,678 I like cheese pop pop pop popcorn, I like cheese popcorn. 240 00:25:05,161 --> 00:25:06,029 Yeah oh. 241 00:25:10,321 --> 00:25:12,233 I like cheese popcorn. 242 00:25:14,003 --> 00:25:16,871 (items rattling) 243 00:25:18,766 --> 00:25:21,100 - [Steve] Here, Ted. 244 00:25:21,144 --> 00:25:23,160 Well, (indistinct). 245 00:25:23,204 --> 00:25:25,011 Little bit thirsty. 246 00:25:25,055 --> 00:25:26,504 - [Ted] Well, there's a sink here. 247 00:25:26,548 --> 00:25:28,493 - [Steve] All right. 248 00:25:28,536 --> 00:25:29,405 Oh my, oh! 249 00:25:30,694 --> 00:25:33,996 Ooh, oh, that's disgusting, oh no, no. 250 00:25:36,616 --> 00:25:38,252 (Ted laughing) 251 00:25:38,296 --> 00:25:39,425 Oh my, oh no. 252 00:25:41,041 --> 00:25:41,909 Here, Ted. 253 00:25:42,847 --> 00:25:43,715 Ted, Ted? 254 00:25:45,867 --> 00:25:47,479 Ted? 255 00:25:47,523 --> 00:25:48,392 Ted! 256 00:25:54,220 --> 00:25:57,696 (disembodied grumbling) 257 00:25:59,201 --> 00:26:03,198 (Steve speaking indistinctly) 258 00:26:11,234 --> 00:26:12,724 Ted? 259 00:26:12,768 --> 00:26:13,637 Ted! 260 00:26:14,542 --> 00:26:18,538 (foreboding unsettling music) 261 00:26:24,901 --> 00:26:25,770 Ted? 262 00:26:27,529 --> 00:26:29,095 Ted? 263 00:26:29,139 --> 00:26:30,007 Ted! 264 00:26:31,275 --> 00:26:36,141 (foreboding unsettling music continues) 265 00:26:37,874 --> 00:26:38,743 Ted? 266 00:26:40,387 --> 00:26:42,053 Ted? 267 00:26:42,096 --> 00:26:42,965 Ted! 268 00:26:45,265 --> 00:26:50,132 (foreboding unsettling music continues) 269 00:26:53,987 --> 00:26:54,856 Ted? 270 00:26:56,555 --> 00:26:58,062 Ted? 271 00:26:58,106 --> 00:26:58,975 Ted! 272 00:27:00,243 --> 00:27:01,111 Ted? 273 00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:04,052 Ted? 274 00:27:04,095 --> 00:27:04,964 Ted! 275 00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:09,008 (foreboding unsettling music continues) 276 00:27:09,051 --> 00:27:12,527 (disembodied grumbling) 277 00:27:27,865 --> 00:27:28,734 Ted, Ted! 278 00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:37,786 (foreboding unsettling music continues) 279 00:27:42,837 --> 00:27:43,662 Where are you? 280 00:27:43,706 --> 00:27:46,414 It's bloody dark in here! 281 00:27:46,458 --> 00:27:47,500 We... Oh, oh! 282 00:27:50,018 --> 00:27:51,737 Oh, Ted, don't do that, all right. 283 00:27:51,781 --> 00:27:55,084 Oh. - Oh, I wasn't expecting that! 284 00:27:55,988 --> 00:27:57,852 - Come on, don't go in there! 285 00:27:57,896 --> 00:27:59,667 You know that's the wrong. 286 00:27:59,710 --> 00:28:00,762 Come on now. 287 00:28:00,805 --> 00:28:01,856 Come on. 288 00:28:01,900 --> 00:28:04,140 This is just absurd. 289 00:28:04,184 --> 00:28:05,008 Come on. 290 00:28:05,052 --> 00:28:07,174 You know, you know better than that. 291 00:28:07,218 --> 00:28:08,676 Come on. 292 00:28:08,719 --> 00:28:10,190 Are you really doing that? 293 00:28:21,465 --> 00:28:25,461 (foreboding unsettling music) 294 00:28:52,068 --> 00:28:56,934 (foreboding unsettling music continues) 295 00:29:16,269 --> 00:29:18,963 (bag rustling) 296 00:29:20,167 --> 00:29:21,036 Oh man. 297 00:29:30,854 --> 00:29:32,869 Ooh, I feel some air coming. 298 00:29:33,992 --> 00:29:35,888 Ooh, not a burp. 299 00:29:35,932 --> 00:29:37,421 Not a burp. 300 00:29:37,464 --> 00:29:38,333 Not a burp. 301 00:29:39,433 --> 00:29:42,330 (Sean farting) 302 00:29:42,374 --> 00:29:45,460 Ooh, oh, ripe one, ripe one. 303 00:29:45,504 --> 00:29:47,180 Ooh, ooh. 304 00:29:47,224 --> 00:29:50,746 Oh, I usually like my own brand, but woo. 305 00:29:50,790 --> 00:29:53,280 Ripe, ooh, stinky. 306 00:29:53,324 --> 00:29:56,815 Oh, that might've been wet, might. 307 00:29:56,859 --> 00:29:59,568 Might've been wet, might've been wet, might've been wet. 308 00:29:59,612 --> 00:30:02,561 Oh, I think it was wet. 309 00:30:02,605 --> 00:30:04,282 Uh-oh. 310 00:30:04,326 --> 00:30:05,194 Oh, well. 311 00:30:07,918 --> 00:30:08,786 Come on. 312 00:30:24,237 --> 00:30:28,234 (foreboding unsettling music) 313 00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:59,946 (foreboding unsettling music continues) 314 00:31:21,350 --> 00:31:23,770 Getting myself a little scared here, myself. 315 00:31:23,814 --> 00:31:25,544 Getting a little freaked out. 316 00:31:27,393 --> 00:31:28,262 No. 317 00:31:31,270 --> 00:31:34,051 (Sean munching) 318 00:31:40,431 --> 00:31:41,300 Dripping. 319 00:31:45,340 --> 00:31:49,021 (Sean crunching) 320 00:31:49,065 --> 00:31:50,429 - [Steve] So, Ted. 321 00:31:50,472 --> 00:31:52,462 Which way do we go now then? 322 00:31:52,506 --> 00:31:55,715 - [Ted] Well, we're map on. 323 00:31:55,759 --> 00:31:57,123 - Fine. - Hold that. 324 00:31:57,167 --> 00:31:58,098 - [Steve] All right. 325 00:32:08,178 --> 00:32:10,887 - [Ted] Well, I can't, can't really see in this light. 326 00:32:10,930 --> 00:32:11,981 Use your head. - Eh? 327 00:32:12,025 --> 00:32:13,738 - Use your head! - Oh, here. 328 00:32:16,825 --> 00:32:18,389 - [Ted] Other way. 329 00:32:21,171 --> 00:32:23,952 (Ted grumbling) 330 00:32:25,332 --> 00:32:26,750 It's that way. - The subway? 331 00:32:26,794 --> 00:32:28,723 - [Ted] No, it's definitely that way. 332 00:32:30,243 --> 00:32:32,846 - That way. - This way. 333 00:32:32,890 --> 00:32:33,758 - [Steve] Ted? 334 00:32:37,613 --> 00:32:39,274 Here, Ted, hold up, Ted! 335 00:32:40,554 --> 00:32:42,137 - Don't go, no, no, no, don't go in there. 336 00:32:42,180 --> 00:32:43,357 Don't go in there. 337 00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:44,577 Oh no, don't, come on, come on. 338 00:32:44,620 --> 00:32:45,445 You don't wanna go in there. 339 00:32:45,489 --> 00:32:46,469 You know you don't. 340 00:32:47,429 --> 00:32:50,123 (wood banging) 341 00:32:51,815 --> 00:32:54,868 - Well, according to that map, 342 00:32:54,912 --> 00:32:56,320 watch is in here somewhere. 343 00:32:59,197 --> 00:33:00,937 - Here, Ted, what's that? 344 00:33:00,980 --> 00:33:01,849 - Table. 345 00:33:03,045 --> 00:33:03,987 - Sun Mary. 346 00:33:04,922 --> 00:33:07,459 And I look (indistinct) too scary. 347 00:33:08,576 --> 00:33:11,072 - The table? - No, not at the table. 348 00:33:11,116 --> 00:33:14,356 The body, that's one of them there past the tables. 349 00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:16,233 You go lift that, that cover, there'll be all sorts 350 00:33:16,277 --> 00:33:17,578 of blood and guts, and maggots over there. 351 00:33:17,622 --> 00:33:18,830 Don't make me (indistinct). 352 00:33:18,873 --> 00:33:19,742 - You're a wuss. 353 00:33:21,126 --> 00:33:22,116 - Oh, (indistinct). 354 00:33:24,350 --> 00:33:25,661 (plastic rustling) 355 00:33:25,705 --> 00:33:29,215 Well, well? 356 00:33:29,259 --> 00:33:30,335 What is it? 357 00:33:30,379 --> 00:33:31,247 - Well. 358 00:33:37,617 --> 00:33:38,486 It's ah, 359 00:33:40,270 --> 00:33:41,399 it's um, 360 00:33:43,385 --> 00:33:45,419 it's, it's blue. 361 00:33:45,462 --> 00:33:50,676 - Here, it says here deck, deck, decadid? 362 00:33:50,989 --> 00:33:52,940 - [Ted] Deceased. 363 00:33:52,984 --> 00:33:55,491 - Morovian sea creature. 364 00:33:55,535 --> 00:33:56,904 - [Ted] It's one of them there. 365 00:33:58,272 --> 00:34:01,140 Oh (indistinct). 366 00:34:02,599 --> 00:34:03,967 - Google it. - I ain't got a signal, 367 00:34:04,011 --> 00:34:05,435 have I? 368 00:34:05,478 --> 00:34:09,285 (Steve speaking indistinctly) 369 00:34:09,329 --> 00:34:12,110 - Uh, Morovian. - Uh, Mooroovian. 370 00:34:14,177 --> 00:34:15,045 Moroovian. 371 00:34:16,409 --> 00:34:20,319 (both grunting indistinctly) 372 00:34:24,126 --> 00:34:26,516 - [Ted] We need to get some lights on, is all. 373 00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:28,559 - Marovian. - Maroovian. 374 00:34:31,905 --> 00:34:35,728 (Ted speaking indistinctly) 375 00:34:37,112 --> 00:34:40,142 - [Ted] Here, some switches in here. 376 00:34:41,446 --> 00:34:42,643 Probably a light. 377 00:34:42,686 --> 00:34:43,550 That'd be handy, wouldn't it? 378 00:34:43,594 --> 00:34:46,374 Since you're scared of the dark. 379 00:34:55,795 --> 00:34:57,150 - [Steve] Here, Ted, I found something. 380 00:34:57,194 --> 00:34:58,018 (electricity buzzing) 381 00:34:58,062 --> 00:34:58,887 How you getting on with that? 382 00:34:58,931 --> 00:35:00,326 (Ted grunting) 383 00:35:00,370 --> 00:35:05,100 (electricity buzzing continues) 384 00:35:05,144 --> 00:35:08,707 (Ted grunting continues) 385 00:35:21,765 --> 00:35:25,241 (electricity buzzing continues) 386 00:35:25,285 --> 00:35:28,848 (Ted grunting continues) 387 00:35:39,605 --> 00:35:42,886 (Ted grunting continues) 388 00:35:42,930 --> 00:35:47,101 (electricity buzzing continues) 389 00:36:01,103 --> 00:36:05,274 (electricity buzzing continues) 390 00:36:09,099 --> 00:36:12,662 (Ted grunting continues) 391 00:36:23,902 --> 00:36:26,683 (phone ringing) 392 00:36:29,144 --> 00:36:30,291 - Disturbing my movie. 393 00:36:33,255 --> 00:36:34,124 Hello? 394 00:36:35,226 --> 00:36:36,621 Oh hey, Steve. 395 00:36:36,665 --> 00:36:38,279 Steve, this is not the time for this. 396 00:36:38,323 --> 00:36:41,032 I'm watching this outstanding movie. 397 00:36:41,076 --> 00:36:42,987 This, I don't have time for this. 398 00:36:43,860 --> 00:36:45,693 What do you want? 399 00:36:45,736 --> 00:36:47,444 No, you're not borrowing any of my movies. 400 00:36:47,488 --> 00:36:48,602 Quit calling and asking about 401 00:36:48,646 --> 00:36:51,167 borrowing my DVDs and Blue-rays. 402 00:36:51,211 --> 00:36:53,826 I know I've got thousands and thousands of 'em. 403 00:36:53,870 --> 00:36:55,828 I'm a hoarder and I don't want you taking 'em. 404 00:36:55,872 --> 00:36:56,696 You know what you do? 405 00:36:56,740 --> 00:36:59,425 You grab the out-of-print ones, you grab the rare ones. 406 00:36:59,469 --> 00:37:01,271 You always come in here looking for the rarest things 407 00:37:01,315 --> 00:37:03,304 you can find like "Camp Cucamonga," 408 00:37:03,348 --> 00:37:04,524 and all that kind of stuff, 409 00:37:04,568 --> 00:37:06,151 and trying to get my rare movies. 410 00:37:06,194 --> 00:37:08,153 And you know what you do, you never bring 'em back. 411 00:37:08,196 --> 00:37:09,341 And you know what I bet you do with them? 412 00:37:09,385 --> 00:37:11,031 I bet you're flipping 'em online. 413 00:37:11,074 --> 00:37:13,533 I bet you're making big profits off my movies. 414 00:37:13,577 --> 00:37:16,067 So no, you're not borrowing any of my movies. 415 00:37:16,111 --> 00:37:17,443 So sorry, okay? 416 00:37:17,487 --> 00:37:18,312 Leave me alone. 417 00:37:18,356 --> 00:37:20,227 I'm watching TV, I'm watching TV, 418 00:37:20,271 --> 00:37:22,970 and I'm enjoying some popcorn and some la chuga. 419 00:37:23,013 --> 00:37:24,622 So leave me alone, good-bye. 420 00:37:27,247 --> 00:37:31,759 This is my time, my time to watch TV and chill out. 421 00:37:36,285 --> 00:37:37,558 Back to the movie. 422 00:37:37,602 --> 00:37:42,815 (Ted grunting) (electricity buzzing) 423 00:38:08,947 --> 00:38:10,449 (Ted grunting continues) 424 00:38:10,493 --> 00:38:14,664 (electricity buzzing continues) 425 00:38:41,346 --> 00:38:45,517 (electricity buzzing continues) 426 00:38:51,052 --> 00:38:54,615 (Ted grunting continues) 427 00:39:22,415 --> 00:39:25,978 (Ted grunting continues) 428 00:39:26,973 --> 00:39:31,144 (electricity buzzing continues) 429 00:39:42,069 --> 00:39:45,197 (creature groaning) 430 00:40:03,404 --> 00:40:04,447 - The watch. 431 00:40:06,173 --> 00:40:07,042 Okay. 432 00:40:08,803 --> 00:40:10,714 Here, Ted, I found it. 433 00:40:12,168 --> 00:40:13,463 Look at that, that's much nicer 434 00:40:13,507 --> 00:40:15,058 than I thought it was gonna be. 435 00:40:15,102 --> 00:40:16,531 We'll (indistinct) with that. 436 00:40:20,276 --> 00:40:24,020 (Ted grunting) (minimal foreboding music) 437 00:40:24,064 --> 00:40:25,006 Yeah I know. 438 00:40:25,050 --> 00:40:27,852 Your speech (indistinct) scared of the dark, (indistinct) 439 00:40:27,896 --> 00:40:29,147 the prize, yeah, I know. 440 00:40:31,406 --> 00:40:32,982 (Ted grunting) 441 00:40:33,026 --> 00:40:34,469 Repeat? 442 00:40:34,513 --> 00:40:36,048 (Ted grunting) 443 00:40:36,092 --> 00:40:37,082 Yeah, (indistinct). 444 00:40:40,645 --> 00:40:45,135 Marovian. 445 00:40:46,834 --> 00:40:50,187 (Ted grunting) 446 00:40:50,231 --> 00:40:53,324 (Steve screaming) 447 00:40:53,367 --> 00:40:55,794 (female creature screaming) 448 00:40:55,838 --> 00:40:58,103 (Steve screaming) 449 00:40:58,147 --> 00:41:00,049 (female creature screaming) 450 00:41:00,093 --> 00:41:03,047 (Steve screaming) 451 00:41:11,221 --> 00:41:12,297 - What the hell was that? 452 00:41:12,341 --> 00:41:14,639 - That was (indistinct). 453 00:41:14,683 --> 00:41:15,897 - Where's the bloody watch? 454 00:41:15,941 --> 00:41:17,891 - Well, well, well, I dropped it. 455 00:41:17,935 --> 00:41:19,275 - Well, get it. 456 00:41:19,318 --> 00:41:20,394 (Steve stammering) 457 00:41:20,438 --> 00:41:22,751 - No, no, I'm too bloody scared, I won't do it. 458 00:41:22,795 --> 00:41:26,036 - Go and get it, it's just a person with a bloody face. 459 00:41:26,079 --> 00:41:27,130 You're not gonna get hurt. 460 00:41:27,174 --> 00:41:28,569 - No, I'm not gonna do it. 461 00:41:28,613 --> 00:41:30,490 I don't wanna do it, I'm too scared. 462 00:41:31,679 --> 00:41:33,449 - I'll buy ya, I'll buy ya, I'll buy ya a hot chocolate. 463 00:41:33,493 --> 00:41:34,669 Dude, 10 hot chocolates. 464 00:41:34,713 --> 00:41:35,827 - No, you could stuff your hot chocolate 465 00:41:35,870 --> 00:41:38,694 and your marshmallows, I won't do it, (indistinct). 466 00:41:38,738 --> 00:41:39,563 - Go on, go and get it, 'cause otherwise 467 00:41:39,606 --> 00:41:41,604 Big Tom's gonna have (indistinct). 468 00:41:41,648 --> 00:41:42,473 (Steve yelling indistinctly) 469 00:41:42,517 --> 00:41:43,866 - Big Tom, we go in there without them, 470 00:41:43,910 --> 00:41:44,739 you think they'd care. 471 00:41:44,782 --> 00:41:46,767 I'm not doing it, (indistinct). 472 00:41:46,810 --> 00:41:49,070 - I'll go and get it then. 473 00:42:00,649 --> 00:42:03,430 (Ted chuckling) 474 00:42:10,464 --> 00:42:11,824 (creature screaming) 475 00:42:11,868 --> 00:42:14,473 (Ted screaming) 476 00:42:14,516 --> 00:42:19,730 (creature screaming) (Ted whimpering) 477 00:42:23,632 --> 00:42:24,500 - Boss? 478 00:42:26,952 --> 00:42:28,274 (Ted screaming) 479 00:42:28,318 --> 00:42:33,531 (both screaming) (foreboding music continues) 480 00:42:59,220 --> 00:43:03,826 (minimal foreboding music continues) 481 00:43:30,632 --> 00:43:35,238 (minimal foreboding music continues) 482 00:44:01,344 --> 00:44:05,950 (minimal foreboding music continues) 483 00:44:17,469 --> 00:44:18,966 - Dang it. 484 00:44:19,010 --> 00:44:21,964 This is the second time this week! 485 00:44:25,202 --> 00:44:26,766 Where are you now? 486 00:44:28,307 --> 00:44:30,830 I'm sick of it, you're mine! 487 00:44:30,873 --> 00:44:34,840 I created you and this is how you repay me? 488 00:44:34,884 --> 00:44:38,478 I'm gonna find you, I'm gonna find you! 489 00:44:38,522 --> 00:44:40,521 You're gonna regret it! 490 00:44:45,466 --> 00:44:48,660 (minimal foreboding music continues) 491 00:44:48,704 --> 00:44:49,891 (doctor crying) 492 00:44:49,935 --> 00:44:52,803 Where's my baby, where's my baby? 493 00:44:55,398 --> 00:44:58,802 (doctor sobbing) 494 00:44:58,846 --> 00:45:02,756 And I can't be (indistinct). 495 00:45:04,362 --> 00:45:08,359 (doctor yelling indistinctly) 496 00:45:09,644 --> 00:45:11,024 You think you've had it hard before? 497 00:45:11,068 --> 00:45:14,670 You've had nothing, okay? 498 00:45:14,714 --> 00:45:18,784 When I find you, I'm gonna remove your sweet, little heads. 499 00:45:19,708 --> 00:45:21,341 And I'm gonna take back your bodies 500 00:45:21,384 --> 00:45:24,528 and I'm gonna give it to somebody who appreciates the work 501 00:45:24,572 --> 00:45:25,875 that I've done! 502 00:45:26,913 --> 00:45:28,463 I'm a genius! 503 00:45:28,507 --> 00:45:31,678 I created life and you've done nothing 504 00:45:31,722 --> 00:45:34,866 except bugger off like a couple of teenagers! 505 00:45:34,909 --> 00:45:36,348 In love! 506 00:45:36,392 --> 00:45:40,389 (doctor yelling indistinctly) 507 00:45:42,673 --> 00:45:43,890 Where are you! 508 00:45:45,442 --> 00:45:49,911 (minimal foreboding music continues) 509 00:45:49,955 --> 00:45:54,536 (doctor speaking indistinctly) 510 00:45:54,580 --> 00:45:57,979 Where, (doctor speaking indistinctly)? 511 00:45:58,023 --> 00:46:00,524 We were supposed to do! 512 00:46:00,567 --> 00:46:01,574 You're mine! 513 00:46:01,617 --> 00:46:05,788 (doctor screaming indistinctly) 514 00:46:23,705 --> 00:46:25,674 One last turn! 515 00:46:25,718 --> 00:46:27,352 (doctor screaming indistinctly) 516 00:46:27,396 --> 00:46:30,919 And if you come out, (indistinct). 517 00:46:30,962 --> 00:46:32,352 One, two, three, 518 00:46:38,483 --> 00:46:39,352 Drat. 519 00:46:40,925 --> 00:46:43,967 (doctor screaming) 520 00:46:45,218 --> 00:46:48,952 - Thank you for tuning in tonight, ladies and gentlemen. 521 00:46:48,996 --> 00:46:50,297 You know something? 522 00:46:50,341 --> 00:46:51,799 It reminds me of a time 523 00:46:51,843 --> 00:46:54,254 when I was a star. 524 00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:57,148 I would see the double features 525 00:46:57,192 --> 00:47:00,839 in the cinemas, and I would be in both films 526 00:47:00,883 --> 00:47:03,717 for four and a half, sometimes, hours. 527 00:47:03,761 --> 00:47:06,392 They would stare at I, Maurice Morbid. 528 00:47:07,859 --> 00:47:11,592 I could see their faces contort in hideous terror 529 00:47:12,488 --> 00:47:16,855 as they watched the beautiful macabre performance 530 00:47:16,899 --> 00:47:19,295 on their very screens. 531 00:47:19,339 --> 00:47:23,362 I remember the crying, the tears of children 532 00:47:23,405 --> 00:47:26,787 as their parents ran in terror out of the theater. 533 00:47:27,691 --> 00:47:28,560 But to us, 534 00:47:30,319 --> 00:47:33,638 I have been replaced by these rubes, 535 00:47:35,355 --> 00:47:37,595 gosh darn posers, all of them. 536 00:47:37,638 --> 00:47:39,956 Think they can act, anyway. 537 00:47:40,923 --> 00:47:43,694 One day, ladies and gentlemen, I will be back. 538 00:47:43,738 --> 00:47:45,415 Yes, I will be back. 539 00:47:45,459 --> 00:47:48,574 But until then, you will catch me here every night 540 00:47:48,618 --> 00:47:51,054 from 9:00 PM on "Terror Telly." 541 00:47:51,098 --> 00:47:54,661 (lively '80s club music) 542 00:48:21,857 --> 00:48:26,288 (lively '80s club music continues) 543 00:48:53,195 --> 00:48:57,627 (lively '80s club music continues) 544 00:49:24,531 --> 00:49:28,962 (lively '80s club music continues) 545 00:49:44,484 --> 00:49:46,411 Tonight, unlike our normal fair, 546 00:49:46,455 --> 00:49:49,117 we have a fantastic feature film for you. 547 00:49:50,490 --> 00:49:52,448 I bet you've been looking forward to it. 548 00:49:52,492 --> 00:49:54,388 Many have for decades. 549 00:49:54,431 --> 00:49:57,930 This is one of Nikolai Boxkovski's most famous works. 550 00:49:57,974 --> 00:50:01,482 "I Drink Tea and Watch You Die Slowly." 551 00:50:01,526 --> 00:50:04,219 (man groaning) 552 00:50:32,537 --> 00:50:36,100 (man groaning continues) 553 00:51:04,076 --> 00:51:07,639 (man groaning continues) 554 00:51:35,216 --> 00:51:38,778 (man groaning continues) 555 00:52:06,394 --> 00:52:09,957 (man groaning continues) 556 00:52:39,909 --> 00:52:42,900 A film which saddens me greatly. 557 00:52:42,944 --> 00:52:43,963 It is a film 558 00:52:44,007 --> 00:52:47,248 about the horrible caffeinated beverage addiction 559 00:52:47,292 --> 00:52:49,876 which plagued the United Kingdom of Great Britain 560 00:52:49,919 --> 00:52:52,307 and Northern Ireland for decades. 561 00:52:54,265 --> 00:52:56,959 (man groaning) 562 00:53:37,411 --> 00:53:41,060 (distant gulls squawking) 563 00:55:50,884 --> 00:55:54,533 (distant gulls squawking) 564 00:56:44,498 --> 00:56:48,489 Yes, yes, the film is so mesmerizingly brilliant 565 00:56:48,533 --> 00:56:51,774 that one can barely escape 566 00:56:51,818 --> 00:56:53,353 the hold it gets over you. 567 00:56:56,446 --> 00:57:00,009 (lively '80s club music) 568 00:57:27,968 --> 00:57:32,400 (lively '80s club music continues) 569 00:57:47,936 --> 00:57:49,441 - All right, one more piece. 570 00:57:51,534 --> 00:57:54,493 Well, time to get outta here. 571 00:57:54,537 --> 00:57:56,510 Back to the real world of life. 572 00:57:57,900 --> 00:58:00,264 Bye, DVDs, bye, Blue-rays. 573 00:58:02,793 --> 00:58:04,127 (wood squeaking) 574 00:58:04,171 --> 00:58:05,645 I really do have the life. 575 00:58:07,956 --> 00:58:09,867 I really do have the life. 576 00:58:11,272 --> 00:58:16,028 Yes, now what to do now. 577 00:58:16,072 --> 00:58:17,114 I go to sleep. 578 00:58:26,911 --> 00:58:30,907 (unsettling foreboding music) 579 00:58:58,788 --> 00:59:03,655 (unsettling foreboding music continues) 580 00:59:29,399 --> 00:59:34,265 (unsettling foreboding music continues) 581 01:00:00,793 --> 01:00:05,659 (unsettling foreboding music continues) 582 01:00:32,319 --> 01:00:37,186 (unsettling foreboding music continues) 583 01:01:03,099 --> 01:01:07,965 (unsettling foreboding music continues) 584 01:01:34,619 --> 01:01:39,485 (unsettling foreboding music continues) 585 01:02:11,905 --> 01:02:13,721 - As you can see, ladies and gentlemen, 586 01:02:13,765 --> 01:02:18,978 the film is, it's, it's something that was made. 587 01:02:22,586 --> 01:02:24,106 How much am I getting paid for this again? 588 01:02:24,150 --> 01:02:27,922 - [Speaker 1] Uh, not very much. 589 01:02:27,966 --> 01:02:29,643 - Can you gimme a figure? 590 01:02:29,687 --> 01:02:31,066 - [Speaker 1] Eh, 20 P. 591 01:02:32,752 --> 01:02:34,335 - Well, you know what, this is about average 592 01:02:34,379 --> 01:02:36,650 for a drama degree student in the United Kingdom. 593 01:02:36,694 --> 01:02:38,542 So, um, I guess I'll take it.