♪
DOM: Is this gonna be the most fun adoption video ever made?
COLE: Okay, okay, Dom, let's be serious.
Her name is Candace. She lives in Pittsburgh.
DOM: Pittsburgh? Pittsburgh.
- COLE: Am I shiny? - DOM: No, you look gorgeous.
You're not looking at me.
'Cause you always look gorgeous.
- [sighs heavily] - Okay? Here we go.
Okay, okay, so I'm gonna say that thing about traditions,
and then you will just say something like a human.
- Like a normal human person? - Like a normal human.
Okay, great, I can do that.
- Okay. - Here we go.
Three, two...
I've always wanted to create
- traditions as a family. - Mm-hmm. Yeah.
- It's-it's an opportunity... - Mm-hmm.
...for us to grow as a family and grow together
and-and gives us an opportunity to...
- Okay. Sorry. - Oh...
- What? -Y-You said "opportunity" twice.
[sighs] Shit.
I just wish we could do this in person.
I know, but there's a thousand of us and just one of her.
- Okay. [clears throat] - Here we go.
Yep.
You know, we see the adoption process
as an amazing opportunity to look at our whole lives
and think about how much joy our child would bring...
Ah-ah. No. You can't say "our child."
- What? - No, you have to say
- "the baby" or "your baby." - Okay.
You can't just assume that it's our child already, so...
- Okay. I-I got it. Okay. - You got it?
I'm gonna do the cuts. You don't...
I'd prefer if you didn't do the cuts.
- I like to... Okay. - Okay? And...
We see the adoption process as a wonderful opportunity
to wait for years, spend thousands of dollars,
let social workers into our home,
acquiesce to an FBI background check...
- Dom. - [chuckling]
- I have an idea. - [sighs]
I have an idea.
Just gonna keep it loose.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
Salud.
[sucks teeth] Whew.
- Please give us your baby. - Please give us your baby!
"Would you do anything for your child?"
- "Anything." - "Anything."
That seems a little broad.
It's very, like, ominous, like...
[gruff voice]: "Would you do anything for your child?"
[normal voice]: It's like the beginning of, like, a thriller.
Like... [deeply]: "Would you do anything for your child?"
[whimpers]
Okay, this is the one: "Why do you want to be parents?"
- [sighs] - This is the... All right.
I just want to show this child all the love
- that was shown to me-- to us. - Yeah.
And-and let this kid know that they have infinite potential,
that if they're... they're kind and-and openhearted
and-and maybe even a little bit silly,
that they can find joy.
We promise to do our absolute best.
And we know that choosing parents for your child
is a very complicated decision, so we just want to thank you
- for considering us. - Yeah.
Thank you.
♪
[fanfare plays on app over phone]
MAN [on app]: This is my wife.
[speaks phrase in Italian]
[phone chimes]
DOM [calling out]: Cole, Italy's calling!
Time for vacation!
Okay.
- I'm ready. - Okay.
Here's your itinerary.
I have marked everything out,
and if we follow it, it should be perfect.
Sounds fun. Sounds... distracting.
It will be. It'll be fun.
Uber's waiting.
COLE: Is your mother coming to get Axel?
DOM: Yep, she should be here in about ten minutes.
COLE: Let's get the fuck out of here.
- Bye. - Axel, no parties.
- [whimpers] - [door closes]
- Hi. - Hello.
Baby, next time, let me book the flights.
Was there really nothing direct from Los Angeles?
Hey.
Oh, sorry. I was listening to a podcast.
- [gasps] You, a podcast? - Uh-huh.
Yeah, it's this new podcast.
About?
About the restaurant we're going to for our anniversary.
- Oh. -Yes, 50 best restaurants in the world.
Vegetarian restaurant for my vegetarian husband.
- Thank you, baby. [inhales] - [baby fussing]
I'm so sorry.
Oh, no, don't worry about it.
- No. Who's-who's this? - Thank you.
This is, uh, Beatrice.
- Oh. - Hi, Beatrice.
- Hi. - You're perfect.
- Aw. - Aw.
What's this?
I'm rubbing elbows with one of the greats.
- Mm. - [chuckles]
Oh. Oh.
Oh, my God.
Is that blood?
["Solo Me" by Daniele Benati & Roberto Passera playing]
[song continues with lyrics in Italian]
- Is your wallet in... - It's in my front pocket.
Okay, 'cause there's, you know, a lot of pickpockets here.
Oh, my God, your mother gets robbed one time in Russia.
I know. It's just... confirming that...
Dom, it's in my front pocket.
Okay, well, now everybody has seen
where you're keeping your wallet.
[sighs] Can you smell me? I feel like I smell.
[sniffs] No, it's Europe. You'll blend in.
Who puts raw meat in an overhead compartment?
My grandmother used to put loose sausages
- in her purse. - What?
This is a bad omen.
I smell like blood.
The odor's gone.
Yes, but the memory lingers, Dom.
DOM: Mm.
This is cute, honey.
DOM: Baby, only the best for you.
[Cole gasps]
COLE: Dom.
Look at this.
Oh, my God, it's incredible.
And, seriously, thank you for doing all the planning.
You still have your wallet?
Yes. I do.
- You need to stop. - I...
We made it, right?
We're here. We did it. Soak it in.
DOM: I am.
- It's in my front pocket. - Okay, that's what I'm...
- I was trying to be sexy there. - You were not.
You were giving me a stop-and-frisk,
and it's not cool.
[song ends]
COLE: Has she called yet? Candace?
DOM: Not yet.
- Getting nervous? - No. Are you getting nervous?
No. I would just like to speak to her, though,
to know that she's real.
Would this be easier if we were at home?
Really? Do you want to...
'Cause we can go home if you want to leave Italy.
No. No, no, no, I don't want to leave Italy.
I want to stay here, and I want to have fun.
Great. 'Cause we haven't matched with her yet,
- so don't get too invested. - Yeah.
Yeah, and she's not even due for a few weeks,
so it's like... this is perfect timing.
- Right? - Hey, yes.
This is perfect timing, okay?
This is a really special moment for us.
We're gonna have a blast, all right?
Okay.
- I love you. - I love you.
I think this might be the building here.
- That? - Yeah.
Ciao, Dom! Ciao, Cole!
Come inside! We feed you!
- Yeah? - That's him.
COLE: That's your dad's best friend?
- Yeah. -Wow. Let's hope they have booze.
So it turned out it was not the sink but, in fact, a bidet.
- Oh, my God! - [laughter]
- I'm sorry. - No.
A gift.
- What is this? - No.
Yes, for your anniversary.
Happy anniversary.
- Oh, thank you. - Thank you.
- You didn't... Oh. - Wow.
- That is so thoughtful. - COLE: Thank you. Oh.
DOM: Oh, my gosh.
Knives.
- These are such unique gifts. - Yeah.
Your mother said, "He like knives," so we thought...
Kitchen knives, I think, is what she meant.
Well, yeah, Dom loves to cook.
Th-They are very good.
I hope you like it, uh, because they are the top on the top.
Uh... [makes slashing sounds]
Yeah, I have one just like this.
You got them engraved with our names on it.
Look at this. Cole...
- Domenico. - Oh.
Look at mine.
Mine says "Cool."
C-O-O-L. Cool knife.
- Cole... - WAITER: Risotto.
- Ooh. That smells delicious. - Okay.
Oh, oh, um, I-I don't eat meat.
- WAITER: Uh... - Uh...
[clears throat]
- [Dom repeats Italian phrase] - Yeah. Thank you.
Uh, grazie.
WAITER: Buon appetito.
- Ah. - You tried, baby.
Yeah. It's much easier on Duolingo.
Yeah, you tried, baby. [laughs]
Uh, uh, Dom?
Um, your mother told me about the complication
you gentlemen had this year with, uh...
with adoption fraud.
- Of course she did. - [groans]
- What happened? - Yeah, the woman had forged
all these medical records.
It was... it was awful.
- Oh, my God. - DOM: Yeah.
The worst part was the day after the baby shower,
we found out.
And so we drove around all night
returning all the gifts and telling our friends
that there was no baby.
No baby. [chuckles]
Oh, my God. That's a nightmare.
Yeah, that's so horrible. I'm so sorry.
I was ready to quit, actually.
You were?
Yeah. We talked about it.
- Do you not listen when I... - No, we talked about
waiting for a little while before we tried again.
- Right, and we waited longer... - Well, why don't we talk
- about something else? - No, I think it's fine.
I think it's okay.
- They're like family. - Are they?
I think it's... So, you know, these adoption agencies,
they-they don't tell you ahead of time
how often these things turn out to be scams,
and he was...
we were inconsolable
when we found out that there was no baby.
Ah, no.
We just want to be dads, you know?
You mentioned maybe we could get some gelato
- somewhere around here? - Yeah. Why not?
- There's one over there. - Okay, great.
- Uh, uh, one more thing. - Yeah.
- Treat for your anniversary. - Uh-huh.
If you want, I can make you a special reservation,
but just if you want.
- DOM: Oh. - Oh, well, Dom actually made
plans for us for the anniversary.
Yeah, no, it's... we could cancel if we want or...
No, baby.
I am naughty because I already did it.
[laughing]: Oh.
When you sent me the plan of your trip in Italy...
- Yeah. - ...I see that you will be
in Orvieto for your anniversary.
- Yes. Yeah, yeah. - Oh, it's magical.
Great.
And this woman, the cook--
ah, you will love her.
- And her restaurant-- amazing. - Yeah.
- Uh, she's special, huh? - DOM: Uh-huh.
She's not a summer chicken, huh?
Spring chicken?
- Spring chicken. - Yeah.
Very old, uh, Zia Luciana.
You have to call and call to get the reservation
because I told her that you are very big fan of her cooking
and you are coming from United States just to visit her
and she say that she will get her oven hot just for you.
- Very cool. - Yeah, and so rare
that a woman will get an oven hot for us.
I know. We haven't had that in a long time.
[laughter]
You know Daniele. He already paid.
- Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. - Yes.
- You don't need to do that. - Yeah, no, don't mention that.
Come on, you are the only son of my best friend,
and I want for you this trip in Italy
to be the best memory in your life, hmm?
Grazie mille.
- Shall we go? - Okay.
- I'll see you tomorrow. - All right.
- All right, bye. Grazie. - Ciao. -Um, goodbye.
[folk guitar music playing]
[singing in Italian]
So, this is, um...
What?
This is romantic.
- It's beautiful. - [Cole chuckles]
[horn honks]
DANIELE: Your rental car, gentlemen.
- Oh, wow. - [chuckling]: Hey.
Buongiorno. So, here you have the keys.
Okay.
- My card. - Thank you.
For anything at all, any trouble, you call me.
- Thank you. We will. Okay. - Yeah?
And...
be careful.
What?
- Okay. - Ciao.
- Ciao. Ciao. - We will.
- Okay, bye. - Thank you.
Ciao. Thank you so...
- Ciao, ciao, ciao. - Thank you so much.
Ciao to you.
♪
Hey, ciao!
[chuckles]
Did you think it was weird that Daniele was like, "Be careful"?
"Be careful." "Be careful."
I didn't love that.
Do you think he meant because I was driving?
Or because we are...
- Uh, gay. - Uh, gay.
[Italian disco music playing over car stereo]
- Baby, we're in the country. - It's so beautiful, huh?
["Different Drum" by Stone Poneys playing]
Oh, I love this song.
[singing along]: ♪ To love
♪ Only me
COLE: Are we going the right way?
DOM: Yeah.
♪ Ain't saying you ain't pretty... ♪
You are pretty, baby.
- [smacking lips] - You are pretty.
Thank you.
♪ Not ready for any...
Oh, look. Old buildings.
DOM: My goodness. Ready?
♪ Try and pull the reins
♪ In on me
- ♪ So... Too high. - Ready?
COLE: It got too... it got too high.
DOM: That's where I take over.
COLE: Yeah, take it, baby.
[high-pitched vocalizing]
DOM: Here we are.
BOTH: Oh...
DOM: You sing so beautifully.
[over stereo]: ♪ If you live without me.
I'm gonna go check in.
- All right, I'll get the bags. - Yeah.
- Buongiorno. - Buongiorno.
- Uh, welcome. - Check in. Yeah.
Are you Mr. Collosimo?
- Sì, Si. - [chuckles]
We have our honeymoon suite.
Uh, right? Are you on a honeymoon?
No, it's our anniversary.
Uh... uh, s-sorry, I-I don't understand you.
Is the room ready?
No, it is ready, the room, but, uh,
there has been a... um... [stammers]
No problem, because now we will fix, uh...
Come with me. I show you the...
Yeah, I-I show you the-the room.
And, uh, don't worry about the luggages, huh?
- Sorry. - DOM: Sorry?
Uh...
Sorry for what?
The... the room is set up for a husband, uh, and wife.
And I-I don't notice
that you travel with, uh, your colleague.
Very embarrassed. Un momento.
- Colleague? - It's fine. It's fine, Dom.
Oh, my God, Dom.
Look at this view.
- DOM: Oh, my God. - RIMALDO: Uh, yes, uh...
You can see the entire valley, huh?
It is small, uh, but, uh, is, uh...
How do you say?
[sighs]
Mm...
[stammers, sighs]
[keys jingling]
[speaking Italian]
Grazie.
[door closes]
- What just happened? - I don't know.
- [ringtone playing] - Oh.
He seemed like he was having some sort of attack.
DOM: Okay, I'm getting a 412 area code.
Okay, I think it's Candace. It's her.
Okay. Okay.
Okay. Okay, uh...
- Chairs. Chairs. - Okay. Okay, good.
- Yeah, yeah. - Okay. Okay, um...
All right, so we just need to make this, uh,
a-as... as great as possible.
- Yeah, we just... - She has to love us.
We have to be very cool and very normal.
- So be normal and cool. - I am being normal.
Hey. Be cool and normal.
- I'm being cool and normal. - Great.
COLE and DOM: Hi!
Hi. Uh, uh, is this Cole and Dom?
- Hello. - Yes. Hi.
It's so great to meet you, Candace.
I'm sorry that it-it's taken me a bit.
- It's just, there's... - Oh.
There's a lot to, uh... to manage with, uh,
- work and-and night school. - Sure.
And obviously the pregnancy, so...
Oh, don't worry. We completely understand.
Ah, I get so nervous.
And excited. I'm excited.
- You're real. [chuckles] - Yeah.
Can we, um...
Can we see your belly?
Yeah, this is, uh... this pregnancy is very real.
BOTH: Wow.
- [both chuckle] - How do you feel?
I'm good. I'm... I...
You know, I-I don't... I don't have a lot of support,
but, you know...
It's a really hard decision to make, you know?
I can't imagine.
Like, I know that I can't give this baby
anything close to what it deserves
or what I want for it, so, um, it's just been a really...
hard and good dec... choice.
Yeah. Well, you're... you're really brave.
I-I really liked your video.
[chuckles]: Oh.
- Um, you seem fun. - Totally.
Yeah, no, I mean, but caring,
but also fun, like you'd be fun dads.
Totally fun.
Super fun dads, but also organized and...
Okay, Dom.
Do you think you could tell me why...
you know, why you want to have kids together?
Well, we both always wanted kids.
That was always the dream.
But we knew if we just, like, stayed focused
and-and really kept our eye on what we really wanted,
which was a family, that we could make that happen.
And when I look at him...
...I'm just very sure.
So thank you for reminding me to look.
Yeah, I feel the same way.
Mm.
Well, I've already talked to, um, a few families,
and I didn't feel like
any of them were quite right.
You know, like my mom always said before she...
she always said, like, "Candace, trust your gut,"
and honestly, like, I have this gut instinct that...
that it's the two of you.
What?
I think... I think that you...
you should be the fathers to this little baby boy.
- Wait. Re-Really? - Oh, my God. [laughs]
[chuckles]
Yeah. [laughs]
Holy shit, yeah.
Right? I-I, um...
You guys are everything I've imagined, really.
Uh...
Are you serious? Like...
Really, yeah. I mean, please don't bail on me.
- No. We promise. - Oh, no.
No, we... No, w-we're not gonna bail.
[stammering]: And he's a boy?
He's-he's-he's a boy?
He's a baby boy. He's a big old baby boy.
We're having a boy.
[laughs]
I know you guys have waited a really long time.
It's been like three years, I guess.
It must have been really hard.
- But worth the wait. - Yes.
Well, you're not gonna be waiting
that much longer because he's due
- in less than a month, so... - Oh.
He's actually kicking my bladder right now.
- Uh... Oh. - I'm actually gonna...
- I'm gonna call you guys back. - Yeah?
I'm just gonna need a little... a minute.
- Call us whenever. - Of course, yeah.
And we-we're always here for you, so...
Anything you need.
- Anything. - For real, anything.
Thank you guys. This is so good.
- Okay. Bye. - Bye.
[phone chimes]
- [chuckling] - We're...
[both laughing]
[crying]
- It's happening. - It's really...
It's real. Like, we're... like, we're gonna have to...
we're gonna have to, like, do this now, right?
- Yeah. Yes. Finally. - Right?
After all those years of trying and...
and getting close and then...
It's been really hard, right?
It has been really hard, but...
Maybe we haven't been, like... like...
No, we haven't...
we haven't been connecting.
I'm really sorry.
[voice shaking]: I'm really sorry
that I haven't always been...
But I...
I really want to do this with you.
I do, too.
- We can do this together, okay? - Yes. Yes.
- You're my teammate. - You're my colleague.
[laughing]: You're my colleague.
You're gonna be such a good dad.
["Real Love Baby" by Father John Misty playing]
♪ Our hearts are free
♪ So tell me what's wrong with the feeling ♪
♪ I'm a flower, you're the bee ♪
[exhales sharply]
♪ It's much older than you and me ♪
♪ I'm in love, I'm alive
♪ I belong to the stars and sky ♪
[indistinct chatter]
♪ Let's forget who we are for one night ♪
Mmm.
♪ We're not animals, baby, it's the people who lie ♪
- ♪ To themselves - ♪ I want real love, baby
♪ Ooh, don't leave me waiting
♪ I've got real love, maybe
- Uh-huh. - ♪ Wait until you taste me
♪ I want real love, baby
♪ There's a world inside me
♪ Got the key, just use it
♪ Just if for a minute
- ♪ And gone - ♪ Our hearts are free
♪ So tell me what's wrong with the feeling ♪
♪ I'm a flower, you're the bee... ♪
- Happy anniversary. - [song continues over stereo]
- Ah. - Ten years.
Baby, you'd be lost without me.
Would I be?
- Right. - I mean, I think you would.
No, no, make a right, right here.
- Oh, shit. - No, turn right. Turn.
[tires screech]
- Oh, this doesn't feel right. - I know, but...
It's a farmhouse, so...
COLE: This cannot be correct.
DOM: It's a mile that way.
Really? Th-This is the way to a restaurant?
Yes, the restaurant is also her farmhouse.
COLE: See, I'm just telling you...
DOM: Why are you being this way?
I'm sorry, being what way?
That you don't trust me.
I do trust you. I just also trust my eyes.
DOM: Okay.
COLE: Ooh!
- DOM: Oh... - Fuck.
- Okay, just, um... - Okay, hold on.
- Hold on. - Yeah, just back it up.
- Dom... Ah, shit. - [tires spin]
- Okay. - No, wait. Hold on.
- Just... - [engine revs]
- Okay, okay, you're... - Fuck.
Cole, just... Cole, Cole, Cole, Cole, Cole.
It's all good. Just don't panic, okay?
- This is bad, Dom. - I know. I can...
I can get help.
Yeah, 'cause I'm sure Triple A is on standby
for two faggy tourists.
I will walk to the restaurant...
Do you really think there's a restaurant
anywhere around here?
Let me be your knight in shining armor.
- [thunder rumbling] - Wow.
[Dom groans]
No, no!
Oh, my God!
Ugh. [sighs]
Jesus.
Fuck.
[groans]
I'm gonna die here.
We're gonna die here.
[thunder crashes]
[whimpering]
- [gunshot in distance] - [gasps]
[whimpering]
♪
Hey, babe, I'm pretty sure the restaurant's not that way.
You think?
So I'm gonna go around back,
and I'm gonna take a look, okay?
What does he think he's gonna do?
[grunting]
So, I'm just getting this tire dug out.
[sighs]
Okay, press down on the accelerator.
Okay.
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
[yells, sputters]
Ah, stop it! Stop it!
[both gasp]
[gasping]
Oh, fuck.
[groans]
[scoffs]
Well, this is great.
[vehicle door closes]
[wind whistling]
- [night bird hooting] - DOM: Okay.
Okay, grazie mille. Okay.
[thunder rumbling softly]
[Dom sighs]
Hi.
So, it turns out, if you walk for a half an hour in the rain,
it cleans you right up.
You look great.
- So I made a phone call. - Mm-hmm.
Called my mom.
[sighs heavily]
- Just to get some ideas. - Of course you did.
And she suggested calling Daniele.
- [chuckles] - Which I did.
- Mm-hmm. - He has called Triple A.
And they are en route.
Fun fact: Here in Italy, Triple A is called "Triple Ah."
[chuckles]
Fuck off.
See, it is kind of funny, right?
We can't even get to dinner.
How are we supposed to raise a child?
[sighs]
[insects trilling]
[sighs]
- [horn honking] -Yeah, come on, come on, come on.
Yes, hi. Come, come, come, come.
Cole, Cole, wake up.
Oh, God.
Is that Triple Ah?
DOM: I think so.
Yes. Hello.
Hi.
- How the fuck did he find us? - Are you here to help?
Thank you for coming out, especially in this weather.
- Sì. Yeah. - Yeah.
[chuckles]: Yeah.
[engine starts]
DOM: Yeah, we...
Yeah, he told me to do that part.
DOM: Mm-hmm. We tried that.
- [engine revving, tires spin] - Yeah, no, we...
- We definitely tried that. - We tried that.
COLE: Yeah.
Yeah, it's pretty bad, right?
- I think he's here to help. - [vehicle door opens]
Help us what?
- [horn honks] - [engine starts]
Hon, we're not getting any better offers right now.
Okay?
- It's an adventure. - [horn honks]
- DOM: Okay. - COLE: Coming.
DOM: You know, it's really hard
to get this car in forest green in the U.S.
- [insects trilling] - [night bird hooting]
Sorry, where-where are you taking us?
Do you speak any English?
We-we're staying at the, um-- fuck--
the Hotel L... L'Spigerella?
- Goddamn it. - What?
I left my phone in the car.
What?
All right, well, we'll be back there soon.
I'll... I'll hold on to the keys.
Thank you.
[animal groaning]
What is going on?
I-I don't know.
Well, where is he going?
[exclaims in Italian]
- Is that... - Okay. Yeah, don't look.
- Oh, my God. - Don't...
Cole, don't look. Cole, look at me.
- Hey, hey, hey. - No, that's a...
Yeah, I know. Hey, look at me.
[Dom breathing heavily]
- [knocking] - [both gasp]
[laughs]
[grunts]
[door slams shut]
[engine starts]
♪
Uh, can we make a phone call?
Scusi? Scusi?
Okay.
Oh, whoa, whoa.
Whoa-oh! Hey!
- Scusi! - What the fuck?
Hey, wait! Scusi! Where are you going?
[sighs]
So this isn't his house?
- No. - What the fuck?
Well, maybe on the bright side,
we can just say he didn't shoot us.
- [thunder rumbling] - What?
[thunder crashes]
Oh, you...
Happy anniversary.
[Dom groans]
What are you doing?
I'm checking to see if anybody's home
so we can go inside and make a phone call,
get the fuck out of here.
[woman mutters]
We're sorry to bother you, but, um, our...
Uh, a man just dropped us off.
[stammering]: Our car...
got stuck.
- [bleating] - Geez!
[imitates goat's bleating]
I don't want to go.
- [Dom mumbling] - I don't want to.
Do you have a phone?
- Huh? - Uh, a phone.
Scusi. Um, uh, telefono, um, is, um, uh, dead.
Morto.
[imitates electrical buzzing]
- [exhales sharply] - [Bella bleating]
- What the fuck is going on? - I don't know.
I just gave my phone to a blind woman.
[operatic music playing]
[speaks Italian]
[sighs]
- Super into goats. - Yeah.
DOM: Oh, my God.
Of course.
She's Zia Luciana.
This is the restaurant.
She's Zia Luciana.
Hold on. Hold on.
This is the restaurant we're supposed to be at?
Yeah, uh...
Daniele said it was authentic.
It's, uh, rustic.
Ah! You're Zia Luciana.
- Sì. - You are her. She is you.
[all chuckling]
Ah. Okay.
Okay.
Oh. Thank you.
- That looks delicious. - Pretty good.
- Grazie. - ZIA: Prego.
- COLE: Grazie. - ZIA: Eh?
- Okay. - All right. [chuckles]
Oh. Wow.
- DOM: Holy... - This is really delicious.
- And you doubted Daniele. - I did, but this is
between me and the pizza now.
It's so sweet. I mean, they really
set us up for... They set us up. Yeah.
Yes. I know what that word means.
- We'll take a whole case if you got it. -Mmm.
Right, huh? [mumbles]: I don't even know.
No, I think she wants...
Aw.
COLE and DOM: Salute.
Uh, to our new family.
Chin-chin.
COLE and DOM: Chin-chin!
- Mm-hmm. - That means "to love."
Yep.
- Yeah. - Mm-hmm.
[smacking lips]
- I think she wants... - Us to do it.
- Sure. - [chuckles]: Okay.
BOTH: Mm...
No!
[high-pitched grunt]
- You see that? - Yeah, I saw.
No, did you see her face when we kissed?
I mean, she asked us to kiss,
and then she was disgusted by it.
She's like 2,000 years old.
[Bella bleating]
[panting]
- [thunder rumbling] - [operatic music continues]
Daniele told me she makes wine the old-fashioned way.
- Old-fashioned? - Yeah.
She stomps the grapes with her little tootsies.
- She stomps the grapes... - Mm-hmm.
- ...with her 80-year-old feet? - Mm-hmm.
But don't you worry-- all the foot fungus
is removed during the fermentation process.
So we almost died on our anniversary...
- Mm-hmm. - ...for foot wine?
Mm-hmm.
And for that, I love you very much.
Are you already a little drunk?
Maybe.
[Bella bleats]
I'm sorry I freaked out. I shouldn't have done that.
Hey.
I don't mind.
I kind of like it when you panic.
- You like it when I panic? - Yeah.
Makes me feel like you need me.
Baby, I do need you.
You're gonna be a great dad, Cole.
I was beginning to think that maybe...
- We would never be dads? - No.
- That we would die here. - [Dom sighs]
Just alone in a... a rental car.
[chuckles] We ain't going out like that.
- [laughs] - We're gonna figure it out.
- We always do. - Yes.
COLE: Oh.
- DOM: Wow. - COLE: Ooh.
- It's like a work of art. - [laughter]
Oh. That's all you, baby.
- [laughter] - DOM: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- COLE: Go ahead. - DOM: Yeah.
Uh-huh.
Mmm!
Holy shit, this sausage is legendary.
- Mmm! - Dom.
- Put some on your plate. - [chuckles]
You don't understand-- there's nothing worse,
no act of violence more traumatic for her
than you not eating her food.
[chuckles]
I haven't eaten meat in 15 years. [chuckles]
It looks delicious.
[thunder rumbling]
[chuckles]
Mmm. Uh-huh.
You didn't have to take that big of a bite.
[mouth full]: It was an accident.
Mmm. Delicious.
- Ah. [chuckles] - Delicious.
[sighs]
[laughs]
[chuckles]
- Mmm. - Mmm.
- [Zia sighs] - [chuckling]
[grunts] Ta-da!
[all laughing]
It's so inspiring to see someone
so passionate about their food.
- Mm-hmm. - [chuckles]
[Cole grunting]
[stomach gurgles]
[inhales deeply]
- I'm gonna hurl. - What?
- I'm gonna... - Oh, my God.
- Baby, uh... - [suppressed gagging]
Uh, he-he went to the bathroom.
He's constipated.
He hasn't gone since we've been here.
Definitely not puking from your meat.
[grunting, suppressed gagging]
♪
[retches]
To wash my hands from all the...
[groans] Ow. Okay, thank you.
[chuckling]: Oh, it's very hot.
Nice. Oh, thank you.
- Grazie. - Prego.
[Dom clears throat]
- Okay. - No, no.
Oh.
[Zia sighs, chuckles]
- Okay. - No.
Oh, okay, okay, okay. [stammers]
Grazie.
[chuckles] Okay?
Yeah?
- Bravo. - [chuckles]
- [stammering] - Dom!
Okay.
[thunder rumbling]
[heavy breathing nearby]
[heavy breathing continues]
Oh.
[grunts]
[grunts softly]
Good evening.
Oh, no.
We got to get the fuck out...
What's going on here?
Uh, she took my shirt.
She undressed you?
You're making me feel weird.
Baby, it is weird.
I was dirty.
Hey.
What is going on?
I think she's getting me a new shirt.
- Okay, well, that's weird, too. - I know.
Look, there is a very, very old...
It doesn't matter.
It's late. I'm tired. I don't feel well.
Let's just go and cuddle.
Yeah, I-I like that idea.
- That sounds nice. - Okay. Okay. Okay.
Oh, here she comes.
- Zia Luciana... - Oh.
COLE: Um, we are very tired.
We're very tired,
and we would like to, um, go home,
so can we use your phone?
Your phone?
Ah. Telefono.
[speaking Italian]
Maybe my phone's charged now, too.
[speaking Italian]
- DOM: Wow. - Telefono. Telefono.
- Grazie. - Prego.
[sighs] Goddamn it.
[Zia speaking Italian in other room]
[sighs]
DOM: It's amazing-- your kitchen.
Is that a pizza oven?
COLE [from other room]: Dom?
- Yeah? - What is Daniele's number?
Uh...
- 3476... - [electrical buzz]
- [thunder strikes] - [power whirring down]
[wheezing]
Dom, let's just get out of here, okay?
I can't see a fucking thing.
Does she have a generator?
Well, how the fuck would I know that?
DOM: I'm just gonna go look for matches.
- [wheezing continues] - [Zia panting, whimpering]
[switch clicking]
- [whimpering] - [thunder rumbling]
♪
[Zia whimpering]
- Dom, can we just... Oh, fuck! - [clangs]
- DOM: You okay? - COLE: Yes.
Okay.
- Cole? - Dom?
- [yelling, grunting] - [pots clattering]
Ah, fuck!
Ow! Whoa!
[gasping]
[gasps]
Oh, my God, she just...
sh-sh-she just jumped out at me,
and she-she just... she... What are we gonna do?
- Hey, hey. Cole, just breathe. - [gasping breaths]
Just breathe.
Okay.
Zia?
Call an ambulance.
- Your phone doesn't work. - Use the house phone.
- House phone? - Call an ambulance.
- 911. 911. - Mm-hmm.
- COLE: 911. 911. [grunts] - [clattering]
Shit.
Fuck.
Zia?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Zia?
[thunder rumbling]
[Dom gasping]
[shuddering]
- DOM: Cole! - What?
Cole, she's... she's not, uh...
Dead?
She's not alive.
Is she dead?
Call the fucking ambulance.
It's not working.
911 is different in Italy.
It doesn't matter, because there's no power.
Shit, shit.
Is she breathing?
DOM: She's not moving.
Oh, my God. What do we do?
[stammering]
- CPR. - What?
We can do CPR. We took the class.
That was CPR for infants.
I know, so this should be easier.
Uh... I can't do it.
I can't, either. I wasn't paying attention.
You weren't paying attention in CPR for infants
and we were about to have an infant?
I was gonna watch it again when we had the baby.
Is this because you didn't think
we were gonna have that baby?
Wow.
You do it!
You do it.
[Dom whimpers]
Okay.
[Dom sighs]
[grunting rhythmically]
[blows]
- [grunting rhythmically] - [sharp crack]
What was that?
Bones?
I think you cracked her ribs.
I hurt her?
- No. - How?
- Well, because she's already... - [whimpers]
We should go for help.
- Yes, yes. Okay. - Yes, yes.
DOM: Stay here.
[footfalls ascending stairs]
DOM: Fuck!
What do we do?
[Dom taking deep breaths]
Accidents happen, right?
- Right. - Right? Okay, so...
We didn't do anything wrong,
and that's what we'll tell them.
Tell who?
The-the cops or the ambulance.
- I don't know. - Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You want to tell the police
in our perfect Italian that we accidentally
knocked an old woman down a flight of stairs
and then cracked her ribs trying to revive her?
Well, I wouldn't phrase it exactly like that.
How would you phrase it, Dom?
I would say something like we're...
you know, two hapless tourists who-who...
You know, fuck me, we... we got...
we got stuck in a ditch.
And we met a very sweet old woman
who, like so many other sweet old women,
fell down a flight of stairs
while we were in the other room.
There.
That's what I would say.
What about the broken ribs?
Accidents happen.
[vehicle approaching]
Oh, God.
- What is that? - It's a car. Someone's coming.
- Who? - I don't know. Your mother?
No, she's still in California.
She couldn't have gotten here that quickly.
[sighs] What are we gonna do?
All right, I'm gonna go handle it.
You go watch her.
Watch her what, die more?
Yeah.
[thunder crashes]
[clears throat]
Hi. Can I, uh, help you?
Give me keys.
I'm sorry, did you say you want me to give you a kiss?
Give me keys.
Oh, keys.
Our keys-- you...
you want our car keys.
Ah.
Are you Triple Ah?
- [gasps] - I take.
Oh, God. [shudders]
Cole?
- Who the fuck was that? - Jesus.
- Hiding in a manger? - Yes!
It was some man.
I-I gave him our car keys.
- You gave him our keys? - Yes. I had no choice.
- You had no choice? - He asked very forcefully.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, great.
Okay, here's what we're gonna do.
[sighs] We're gonna take her car,
we're gonna go find our car, and then
we're gonna drive to Rome and we'll be there by morning.
We're just gonna leave her down here?
[sighs]
Someone will find her.
- Eventually. - And you're okay with that?
I can get okay with that.
I can't just leave her in a basement.
We have to...
take her to a hospital?
She's dead.
[thunder crashes]
[deep, shuddering sigh]
Okay, fine.
We'll move her.
- Ow. Fucking ham. - Oh.
COLE: That...
DOM [groaning]: Okay.
Arms.
[both groaning]
COLE: Okay, on three.
BOTH: Okay.
One, two, three.
[both grunting]
- BOTH: Oh! - [cracking]
Oh, God, was that her neck?
Fucking old lady bones. [whimpers]
- Baby. Let's go. - [sighs]: Oh, God.
- [takes deep breath] Okay. - Ready?
- Yep. - Cradle her head.
One, two, three.
[both grunting]
COLE: Oh, God.
[grunts] She's heavy.
DOM: It's dead weight, baby.
Throw your back into it.
Lift with your legs, baby.
Yeah, baby. I know, I know. Okay.
Oh, God. Okay, I-I-I need to put her down.
- Where? - Uh, on the floor?
- The floor is dirty. - Okay.
- Uh, on the table. - Okay.
Okay. [grunts]
Okay. [sighs heavily]
- Just hold her. - Oh, God.
Hurry up.
Well, I don't want to break her stemware.
- Okay. All right, ready? - Okay.
- Yep. - Okay.
Just come here, Zia.
- There we go, Zia. - [shushing]
There we go, babe. There we go.
- Let's just slide her back. - Okay. Slide her down.
- [cracking] - BOTH: Oh!
You got to quit breaking her bones, man.
- I'm not breaking her bones! - [sighs]: Oh, God.
- Okay. Okay. -Okay, we just need to find her car keys.
Okay. Okay. Uh, by the door.
- By the door, I think. - Okay, okay, okay.
- Okay, I got 'em. - Okay.
- [power whirring] - [lights buzzing]
Oh.
[air hissing]
[wheezing]
♪
[gasps]
This is real.
[phone chiming]
We're not bad people.
We're supposed to be on our anniversary, for fuck's sake.
[sighs] Okay, Dom, don't freak out.
If you freak out, then I freak out, okay?
Just go call someone.
Okay. Okay.
The phone.
Call on the phone.
[sighs]
Dom?
[thunder rumbling]
Are we sure that's a good idea?
Jesus Christ!
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
She had Jesus Christ in her life.
And it was a long life and a beautiful life,
but it is over now, okay?
And I will not risk my-- ours-- our family's life,
because she tumbled down a flight of stairs!
Okay. Dom, just don't yell at me right now.
Look!
A lost rental car?
We can handle that.
That's just some insurance bullshit.
But a dead body?
We have a child coming,
and we cannot get involved in all of this
and jeopardize our child's future.
- Yes. You are right. - [vehicle approaching]
- Oh, f... - [horn honks]
BOTH: Fuck!
[groaning, panting]
- What are you doing? - Getting rid of the evidence.
Help me.
[both grunting]
There we go.
Uh...
Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
COLE: Yes, I'm trying.
Pulled you out like a little bitch.
[light laughter]
- Are those... - Yes, these are our car keys
'cause this is the man who took our keys.
Thank you.
Ah, it was nothing.
Uh, well, how-how did you get it out?
It was... it was really stuck.
I mean, we didn't even know how to...
Why would you know how to?
You from, uh, city, no? You don't know dirt.
I would tell how, but, uh... [sighs]
you will not be in this situation again, right?
Right.
Uh, I, uh...
I apologize for earlier.
Uh, my... my attitude was not correct.
Pedro was so mad you blocked the road to his farm.
Oh, we're so sorry about that. I mean...
I don't mind to help.
Just, uh, so tired.
Uh, was out hunting all day.
And, uh, was in the middle of sex
when I get the call to come, so, uh... [chuckles]
I come, and then I come.
[chuckles] Well, we're sorry about that, too.
Uh, just been a very long time.
Uh, I knew how important it was
for my mother to have you here tonight.
BOTH: Your mother?
Sì. When she say, "Massimo, come relieve these men,"
I knew I must come.
"Mamma, Mamma, okay, okay."
Uh, she's, uh... so excited.
You give her, uh, new life.
[whimpers]
Uh, before this, uh,
she not even wanting to cook ever again.
But when she found out she had fans
and that you come so far to eat her...
- I'm sorry? - Eat... eat with her?
[chuckles] Sì, Si. This, uh... my English.
Our Italian. [chuckles]
You really, uh,
bring her back to life.
[chuckles uneasily]
This the woman I know, you know?
So, many thank-yous, to youse.
Well, a toast, uh, uh... Ma?
- She's deaf. - [Cole chuckles]
COLE: You know what?
We're driving, so we probably shouldn't drink,
and we should probably be going.
No, no. Massimo?
Sì?
There's something we need to tell you.
- COLE: Dom. - Your mother...
Dom.
- MASSIMO: Sì? - DOM: She, uh...
Makes the best pizza we've ever tasted in our entire lives.
Well...
Well, is true, this.
Uh...
I tell to you,
- she live for this night. - [Cole chuckles]
For you to care about her cooking.
Is more the case now that, uh,
my brother Giovanni...
...is, uh, die.
Is gone.
Uh, pass away.
Hmm. Sorry.
Yes, and, uh, my father...
he have, uh...
coma stroke, uh, when my brother die.
Now he on, uh...
iron lung six month.
Ah, I say too much.
Uh, we drink.
I find some grappa. You like?
You will like.
You no go till we drink together.
BOTH [chuckling]: Okay.
Let's go now. Let's go now.
♪
Open it. Open it.
- You open it. - You open it.
- You have the keys. - I don't... Oh, wait.
- You... - I don't... I...
- Okay, uh, I do. - No.
I have the keys, uh, but I do not have the phone.
- Well, go get your phone. - I'm going.
- Ciao. - [gasps] Hi.
- Oh! - Sorry, sorry to jump you.
- COLE: Oh, no. [chuckles] - Um...
- I am Francesca. - DOM: Uh-huh.
- Oh, great. - Oh, okay.
Sì, um... you-you Finnish?
Yeah, uh, no, we're American.
No, finish with the dinner.
- Uh, yeah. - Uh-huh.
- I know who you... - You do?
Sì. You the, um... uh...
Luciana tell me all about you.
- Ah. - She did?
Ah. Dom and Cole, uh, from Los Angeles.
- I know everything. - DOM: Uh-huh.
Okay. Everything?
You leaving?
- Yeah, yeah, we got to go. - Yeah.
- Yeah. -In fact, I got to go get my phone.
- Yeah, grab the phone and... - So nice to meet you. Bye.
- Okay. - Yeah, we're just gonna...
We'll be on our way.
- Another. Another. Yes. - Oh, uh, thank-thank you.
- Come. - Thank you.
- [Bella bleating] - [door closes]
You are wet.
Uh, yeah.
Where you go?
Just coming to get my phone.
Your mom was charging it for me and...
That is, uh...
This, uh...
It is, uh...
This my...
This my brother's shirt-- Giovanni.
- Yeah. - I buy for him.
- Yeah. Your mom. - I know this.
- How you get? - Your mom...
My shirt was muddy, and so your mom...
- Mamma give you this? - Yeah.
Mamma give you shirt of my brother?
Yeah, she gave it to me 'cause she washed my...
No, no, no.
Too soon.
Giovanni only die a little bit ago.
- I can give you back the shirt. - [Massimo sighs]
I-I really don't need to keep it.
Giovanni was, uh, like you.
He a gay.
Uh, she always want him to be happy.
Make husband, have a family.
But, uh, it not go like this.
I'm really sorry.
[stammers softly]
[Massimo sighs]
- She deaf. - She deaf. Yeah.
I'm gonna get the phone, and then I'm gonna...
Ooh. No...
[sighs]
You two, uh, walk home or, uh, need these?
[chuckling]
Come.
Drink with me.
It's just that my husband's outside.
- He's waiting for... - He figure out. Sit.
We were just trying to drive back to the city tonight.
We weren't thinking it was gonna be
a big late night, so...
No grappa...
no leave.
[thunder rumbling]
[whispers]: Fuck.
Thank you so much. That's...
- ...really nice of you. - Ah, is nothing.
[grunts] I should really go.
You no see, uh, a small, black goat?
She Luna.
Oh, no, uh, just, um... just Bella.
She get scared.
- Oh. - Scared of, um...
[bottles clinking]
[cell phone chimes]
Massimo, I'm really sorry for wearing your brother's shirt.
I'd like to return it.
♪
[blade scrapes]
You going to be dead.
What?
- Dead. You going to be dead. - No.
- Dead. Is wonderful. - No. No.
- You going to be dead. - I don't want to be dead!
- I got to go find Dom. - Or, um, she hide.
Or in there.
In there, under table, in there.
No, no. No, no, no, she's not in there.
No, 'cause I would've... I was in there.
I would've seen her.
So she's not... not in there.
Definitely not under the table.
Okay, uh...
Well, I'll see you.
[speaks Italian]
- Ciao. - Bye.
We celebrate. I-I take head off.
No. Please don't take the head off. No.
- You going to be dead. - I don't want to be dead!
Why not? Is great. It happens when it happens.
- You going to be dead. - [crying]: No, please.
- Dead, dead, dead! - I don't want to be dead!
- [indistinct shouting] - [Dom whimpering, crying]
Fuck.
Is pathetic. Come here! You going to be dead.
- I don't want to. - Dead.
[Cole yells]
[knife clatters on floor]
Ay, uh...
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry. - [Massimo groaning]
[gasps] Cole, you stabbed him.
Well, he was gonna... I just needed to...
[Massimo grunting]
Oh!
[panting]
Why you treat me like town horse?
I come to say you going to be dead.
Why?
- No. - Dead.
[Dom yells]
[Dom hyperventilating]
- [Massimo groans] - Sorry.
Sorry. Sorry.
- [groaning] - Sorry.
- [hyperventilating] - [gasps]
Oh, God.
[grunts]
- Oh! - [Dom whimpers]
♪
[wheezing gasp]
[Cole and Dom gasping]
You stabbed him!
You stabbed him first!
Well, I was trying to protect you.
I was trying to protect you.
- God. - Are you hurt?
- No, I'm fine. I'm just scared. - Okay.
- Okay. Okay. - Oh, God.
COLE: Is he...
- I don't know. - [whimpers]
- Okay, here we go! - Okay, flip him.
[both whimper, exclaim]
Oh, God, there's so much blood.
Oh, so much blood.
- It was an accident, right? - It was self-defense.
He was gonna kill you. He was gonna stab you with that knife.
And then he was gonna drink that champagne.
[whimpers]
Oh, God. This is all your fault!
- What? - You planned this trip,
and now two people are dead.
We've killed two people.
- We're gonna go to jail. - No, we're Americans.
They can't.
[Massimo gasps, wheezes]
- Oh! - Holy shit.
- He's not dead. - He's alive.
- What do we do? - We can save him.
What?
- We can do CPR. - No.
Yes! Um, Massimo, stay with us.
We-we're gonna do, uh... we're gonna do CPR.
You got to do the mouth part.
- Me? - Yes, you do the mouth part!
You did it for Zia.
Look how well it went.
I can't do it. I've got a deviated septum.
I can't get any power behind it.
- Come on, baby, you got this. - Oh, God.
No blood-borne pathogens. No blood-borne pathogens.
Oh, God.
[grunting rhythmically]
Oh, God.
- Go in. Go in. - [groans]
- [blowing] - Yeah. Good job, baby.
- Good job. - [shuddering]
[grunting rhythmically]
- Yes. - Oh, God.
[blowing]
- Good. - [suppressed gagging]
[grunts rhythmically, groans]
- [gurgling] - [both screaming]
Oh, my God.
- [Massimo wheezing] - You-you saved him.
Well, we killed him first.
Yes, but now we've saved him.
Massimo, this was all just
a full-blown miscommunication, okay?
Just stay with us.
- Oh, good. There, there. - There we go. Stay with us.
What do we do now?
[weakly]: Dottore.
- DOM: What... - [groans] Dottore.
Dottore. Dottore.
He needs a doctor. Yes.
Massimo, a doctor is on the way.
- Dom? - What? He doesn't know.
We've got to stay positive right now.
- Okay. Chiamo un dottore. - [gurgling]
The Duolingo's really starting to kick in.
- COLE: You sound great, baby. - DOM: Okay.
- [ringtone playing] - It's the phone.
- Get the phone. - Okay.
Okay.
COLE: You're doing great.
DOM [gasping]: Okay.
Baby, baby, it's Candace.
What? We have to get it.
- I know. Wait, where? Where? - Uh...
- There. - Okay, right here. Okay.
- Okay. - Okay.
Baby, your face is covered in blood.
Baby, you're totally covered in blood.
- Okay. Okay. - We need to clean this up.
Okay.
- Okay. Okay. - Uh...
- What's my hair doing? - Baby.
Okay. [clears throat]
Ready?
BOTH: Hey.
Oh, hey, guys. There you are.
[chuckling]: Hi. Hi.
Yeah. Oh, are you okay?
Are-are you in the hospital?
I am. I'm just, uh...
I'm just, uh... Wh-Where are you guys?
Oh, we're just having a very, uh,
- just relaxed dinner at home. - Oh, pizza night.
- [wheezing, gasping] - [Cole and Dom chuckling]
Um, can you just excuse me one quick second? [chuckles]
So, what's going on with you?
DOM [whispering]: I'm sorry. Hey, man, I really
need you to just keep it down for one quick second.
This is a really important phone call.
- Okay? - [muffled wheezing]
Okay? Stay with me.
Um, I've been trying to get ahold of you
'cause the baby's coming.
BOTH: What?
Yeah, yeah.
I guess he maybe heard your voice
and decided that it was time,
because my water broke after I spoke to you guys.
So, I'm in the hospital. Uh, my sister's
been trying to reach you guys, so you probably have
- a bunch of missed calls. - COLE: Oh, n...
We're so sorry about that. We're really sorry.
No, everything is totally fine here.
I-I know. It's okay. I just... I was, like, really anxious,
and, um, I-I... maybe I thought
something had maybe happened to you guys, so...
No. No, no, no.
DOM: No, nothing out of the ordinary.
- COLE: No. - [gurgling]
That's a relief. Um, yeah.
I didn't want to be panicked while I was going into labor.
No, we don't want that.
- He's dead. He's dead. - Our phones died.
And, um, but now they're charged.
- Yeah. - And, um, we're here.
And how is the... how is the-the birthing going?
How is... how are you feeling?
Good. Everything's good. I'm five centimeters dilated,
and the doctor says the baby's heartbeat is very, very strong.
- COLE: Okay. - And I'm good.
He just really wants out.
This is just, like, all just so much, right?
Yeah, yeah, well, we will pull ourselves together here,
and, um, we'll... we'll get to the airport.
I'm so glad I got you guys. I'm so glad.
- Well, we are, too. - Yeah.
And we will see you very, very soon.
Yes.
The doctor's coming in real quick.
I'm gonna call you guys back, okay?
- Oh, go. Go, go. Yeah. - Oh, yeah.
- BOTH: Bye! - [phone chimes]
♪
- We're gonna be dads. - [chuckles]
[Dom gasps]
He was saying, "You're gonna be dad."
- This can't be happening. - [gasps]
Why is this happening to us right now?
I don't know.
Hey.
Look.
It's okay.
It's okay to be scared.
- Are you scared? - Yes.
I'm terrified.
- But you're gonna be okay. - I don't know.
I don't know. I... [breathing shakily]
I feel like I'm gonna... I feel like I'm gonna pass out.
No.
Whatever happens,
I love you so much.
I love you, too.
♪
Now we need to go.
- We need to go to the airport right now. -Yes.
Let's go.
- [Dom gasps] - What about him?
We killed him twice.
- We saved him once. - I know.
CPR-- it's-it's a hoax.
- It never works. - And he was gonna kill us.
As soon as he saw his dead mom,
- he was gonna kill us. - For sure.
We were holding our ground.
- Exactly. - Yeah.
And we are the only two people who know what happened.
D-Does that seems like we committed a crime?
Yes.
That's why we need to go get our son right now.
- Yes. Let's go. - Okay.
I'll get the keys.
Oh, God. What should we do with this?
Uh...
[Luna bleats]
DOM: Uh, I can explain. It's not what it looks like!
- [chuckles] No, no, no. - [screaming]
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Get her. I'll find the keys.
COLE: Wait, wait. Wait, wait.
[panting, grunting]
[grunts, groans]
[whimpering, panting]
COLE: Slow down.
Why are you running?
♪
Francesca?
Francesca, this whole thing is just a...
a real misunderstanding.
We could just explain
- that, um... - [objects clatter]
...that, uh, we're good guys
and, um, if we just got a chance to, uh...
- to maybe talk this through... - [clattering, rodents squeak]
Okay.
[panting]
Zia Luciana was, uh...
in the kitchen, and she... she fell down some stairs.
And, uh, I swear we were...
we were trying to revive her.
And Massimo...
well, Massimo was trying to kill my husband,
so I had to do something.
It was self-defense.
[yells]
[pained shout] Fuck!
[groaning]
[Francesca whimpering]
Okay.
Francesca...
I just want to talk to you.
Cole.
[lock beeping]
Oh, wrong keys!
[engine starts]
I just want to talk.
Okay?
Oh, God.
Fate fagotto e andatevene.
What?
Cazzo.
Fate fagotto e andatevene!
Did you just call me a faggot?
[screams]
[gasping]
[growls, yells]
- [Francesca screaming] - [grunting]
[growls]
- [bleating] - [yells]
[screams]
[panting]
[truck door opens and closes]
Shit. Shit.
- Oh... - Oh, my God.
You hit her.
No.
It was so dark, and then I...
the goat... so I-I did that,
and it's like sh-she hit the car.
It was an accident.
[sighs]: Oh, God.
Okay, but this has to be the last one.
Absolutely.
I don't want to do this anymore.
No, this can't be, like, a thing we start doing in L.A.
- Yeah. - She called me a fag.
- What? - Yeah.
Gross.
Like five times.
Toxic.
Are you okay?
I mean, I've been better.
Oh, my God.
[groans]
- Well, let's... - [sighs]
- Let's throw her in the truck. - Oh, God.
- Okay. - [both whimper]
DOM: I feel like we would've been friends with them.
[both grunting]
- COLE: Fuckin' A. - DOM: Okay.
[grunting]
- Okay. - All right.
BOTH: There we go.
- COLE: Okay. - [panting]
Oh.
Well, we can't leave them like this.
Then how are we supposed to, you know, leave them?
Do you think they have any trash bags?
- I'll look. - Okay.
Sorry, guys.
♪
[fire crackling]
- Dom? - Yeah?
Come here for a second.
What?
I have an idea.
[Dom inhales sharply]
- Hmm. - It's for our family.
DOM: Okay.
[Cole grunting]
- COLE: Oh, God. - [Dom groans]
[Cole groans]
[both grunting]
- I can't. - Okay, put him down.
Oh, God, he's a big boy.
DOM: Here we go. Ready?
One, two, three.
- Massimo. - [both gasp]
[Zia whimpers]
Cole, what is happening?
I don't know.
I thought we killed her.
Massimo.
DOM: Cole?
- DOM: Cole, do something! - [yells]
[grunts]
[gasping]
- [shovel clangs] - [Dom whimpers]
That one's on you.
Okay. Okay.
Okay, CPR works.
- Baby, good job. - All right. You, too.
Okay, here we go.
[grunting]
- Okay. He's heavy. - Here we go.
♪
Here. Put these on.
It's the best I could find.
Wait. That's what you're wearing?
Yes.
Oh.
Hurry up.
- [grunts, groans] - Okay. I got it.
- I got the rest. - Okay.
[grunts]
[both taking deep breaths]
♪
[door opens and closes]
- [insects trilling] - [door closes]
[engine starts]
["Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" by Starship plays over stereo]
♪ Lookin' in your eyes, I see a paradise ♪
♪ This world that I found is too good to be true ♪
♪ Standin' here beside you, want so much... ♪
"On our way to the airport. See you soon."
- Okay. - [phone whooshes]
- Can you put your seat belt on? - I will in a minute.
Can... We've had enough accidents today. Can...
I just want to get out onto the road.
Can you just put the seat belt on, please?
All right.
- Oh, fuck. - What?
- Oh, Dom. - What?
I forgot about the old man.
What old man?
Zia's husband, in the iron lung.
I was gonna tell you, but then, you know, we started
- killing people and... - Right, right.
- [phone whooshes] - Oh, oh, oh, it's Candace.
She said, "I knew you could do it. Hurry."
Aw, she is... she's the best.
Hey, would you put your seat belt on?
- Oh, my God. - Come on.
It's not just... Put on your seat...
[thudding]
♪ Nothing's gonna stop us now
♪ And if this world runs out of lovers ♪
♪ We'll still have each other
♪ Nothing's gonna stop us
- ♪ Nothing's gonna stop us... - ♪ And we can
♪ Build this dream together
♪ Standing strong forever
- ♪ Whoa - ♪ Nothing's gonna stop us...
- [siren blaring] - [woman shouting in Italian]
[bleating]
♪
[woman speaking Italian, crying]
[sighs]
♪
[wheezing]
[speaks Italian]
[exhales softly]
[speaking Italian]
Cool?
Ah. "Cool."
♪
[sirens blaring]
[horn honks]
- Here? - Yeah.
Okay.
- I think it's that one. - Yeah, yeah.
- Just walk fast but, like... - But not... Don't run,
- 'cause then that looks... - We're not running,
but we're at the airport.
We're allowed to be in a bit of a hurry.
COLE: Let me do the talking.
DOM: Yeah, of course.
Hi. Can we have two tickets to Pittsburgh, please?
I have two first class tickets,
connecting through Charlotte, departing 9:25.
- We'll take 'em. - Great.
Baby.
- Cut myself shaving. - [chuckles]
Accidents happen.
You have no idea.
[lively chatter in Italian]
Oh. Yes.
[scanner whirring]
[beeping]
[groans]
[beeping]
I know, I know.
- Shh. - Sorry.
Come on.
- Excuse me. Scusi. - Scusi.
Scusi. Grazie.
Scusi.
[chatter in Italian]
- Ciao. - Hi.
Did you enjoy Italy?
Yeah, it was great. The pizza was great.
It's all great.
Domenico Collosimo, stop!
I got you.
I'll take the fall.
- You take our baby. - Okay.
- Hmm? - OFFICER: Americani.
You think you leaving the country?
I'm glad that I caught you just in time.
It was just an accident. Acc-Accidents happen.
We-we didn't mean to do anything wrong.
COLE: Mm-mm.
Could have be big, big problem.
[Cole chuckling]
You left your passport.
[chuckling]: Oh, you idiot.
Be pretty hard to come back in United States without it.
Thank you.
- COLE [chuckling]: Yeah. - Grazie mille.
You are welcome.
Thank you.
Six of you to return my passport.
- Yeah. Must be a slow day. - Okay. Yeah.
- Okay, thank you. - Come on.
- DOM: Thank you. - Enjoy your flight.
- Thank you. - Bye-bye.
Oh. [exhales sharply]
Were you really gonna leave me here?
Baby, it would be a sacrifice for me, too.
♪
[birds chirping]
- COLE: Thank you. - DOM: Thank you.
♪
- Okay. - What's the room number?
DOM: I don't... I think it was, like, 402 or...
Hello. Uh, we're Dom and Cole.
- We're looking for Candace. - Uh, yeah.
- They moved her in 401. - Okay.
- Thank you. - Thank you.
[Dom gasps]
My God.
♪
Come in.
Hi, guys.
[gasps] I can't believe it.
Wow.
- DOM: Hi. - Hey.
[laughing]: Hi. How are you?
[crying]: I can't believe you're here.
COLE: We're sorry we're late.
It's okay. I'm-I'm...
W-We're... Everything is...
DOM: It's okay.
And this is your boy.
Do you want to hold... [stammering]: I'm sorry.
- DOM: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - We just...
- I slept. I was... - DOM: Yeah.
We just fell asleep.
Hi, guy. You want to get up?
- [baby fussing] - Oh, hi, guy.
- [shushing] - Hey.
COLE: Oh, he's awake.
- Hi. Hey. - [fussing quiets]
[Candace chuckles]
- Hi, little cutie. - [laughs]
CANDACE: Oh, hey.
Hi.
[baby coos]
CANDACE: [sighs] Wow.
Just like that.
There it is.
He's your son.
He is.
[Cole sniffles]
You are the hero of the story.
[chuckles]: No.
[voice shaking]: Thank you.
So, did you think of a name?
Um, yes.
It's Giovanni.
[gasps] Giovanni.
It's a family name.
Thank you.
[sniffling]
♪
We got our baby.
- [chuckles softly] - We got our baby boy.
- Hi. - [Giovanni cooing]
DOM: Okay, ready? And here we go.
- [camera beeps] - [blows]
Okay? Take three.
Let's try to act a little more normal in this one.
- Here we go. - This is just harder
- than I remember it being. - I agree.
Okay. All right.
"Why do you want another child?"
Um, why do we want another child?
Because we want to give your child a great life
and hopefully have another exciting life experience.
Yeah, because raising a kid is fun.
[Cole laughs]
Um, "Talk about the experience
of picking up your first child from the hospital."
- Hmm. - Let's skip that one.
- Think we'll skip that one for now. -Yeah.
I can still hear her head hitting the rock.
Okay.
Why don't we call, uh, Dr. Marcie and we'll get a...
- Get a session on the books? - Session.
That's probably a good idea.
I'm gonna get a Percodan.
How do you think those goats are?
They're alive, right? Bella's still alive?
Okay. "What, uh...
What have you learned by becoming a parent?"
That we would do anything for him.
Anything.
Okay, I think we did it.
I think we killed it.
- [Giovanni chuckling] - BOTH: Oh.
COLE: Okay. Okay. Well, we'll cut there.
Gio, Gio, come on. Hey, buddy, don't lick the camera.
- [Giovanni laughing] - Okay.
Here we go.
Gio, how many dadas do you have?
I have two dadas.
- BOTH: Come here! - GIOVANNI: I love you!
- Oh! - Oh, we love you, too.
- [Dom grunts] - Baby.
- [Giovanni and Dom giggling] - Oh! Oh!
Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!
Hi.
["Bambino" playing]
♪ Hey!
[song continues with lyrics in Italian]
♪
- [tires squeal] - [siren blaring]
[urgent chatter]
Sì.
[stammering]
- [song ends] - [car door closes]
♪
[music fades]