Shatner: Previously on "stars on mars"...
We have another dog!
Ariel: The rad dogs are essential for us.
This roach that's on the floor...
You better get the ( bleep ) away from me, lance.
That was not a good choice.
- Yeah! Let's go! - Bye, mother fungus!
Say hello to my little friend.
Ronda: The final crewmember who is mission critical-- adam.
Computer: Natasha and tom,
Leave the hab immediately.
Bye-bye.
- Alert. - Emergency!
- What did I miss? - Resupply.
- Crew aboard, four. - Four?
We have four new people coming to mars.
- Are you serious? - Shatner: Tonight...
I've pissed off way too many people.
I can divide a room. I'm not for everybody.
- Oh! - Whoa!
I definitely am side-eyeing whoever's coming in here.
They're gonna have to prove themselves.
We all have to watch our backs.
They have to be top tier from the beginning.
Adam: Oh, my god, that door is so slow.
This is "stars on mars."
Adam: Yesterday was an emotional day.
People I got close to left.
It feels really different without them here.
But we have four new people coming to mars.
I'm really looking forward
To having all of this brand new energy in the hab.
Morning.
Computer: Good morning, stars.
It's a quiet morning in the hab, adam.
It is. I struggled a bit this morning to get up.
And I only did it because I like you so much.
I am your analysis device and constant companion,
And if I had feelings, I might like you, too.
You got it, girl. This ai's getting real cheeky this morning.
Ariel: That's a triple 15.
A six. And 19,
So you have 70.
And in the lead out of plano, texas,
Lance armstrong!
Ariel: Lance and I are incredibly different people.
We do not mesh at all,
But we all really do want to stay in the experiment.
- Uh, 11? - That sucks.
- Marshawn: 7. - Lance is super competitive.
- Lance: Ah, it's so bad! - Ariel: 29. It's not bad.
( bleep )
And I kind of will take a backseat to that.
I am not as aggressive about it,
Whereas he likes to push buttons.
You really think you're five feet tall?
- I'm 5'1". - No, you're not.
My sister's 5-foot. She's shorter than me.
And natasha was here.
It's safe to say that we're not friends.
Don't-- ariel, I know you don't like me.
Don't throw the thing yet.
- Who said I don't like you? - That's a headshot.
Ariel: I don't know who said that.
- If I get my number, I win. - Mm-hmm.
Ah, crap. Oh, that's fine. That's fine. That's fine.
Ariel's this little tyrant in here.
You know, there are folks you connect with
And there are other ones that you don't connect with.
You know, the polar opposites.
But that's the nature of my life.
- Yes, I got it. I won. - Oh!
( bleep )
Hopefully whoever comes is clean and not dirty.
Yeah, 'cause I thought we were clean, but then we just lost it.
We were clean, but we did the dirtiest mission first,
So it just made everything dirty right away.
Listen, I've been living with these people 24/7 for eight days at this point.
We have a good game plan now,
So thinking about somebody coming in here and shaking the table,
They're gonna have to prove themselves.
What if one of them is a chef?
- What if it's rachael ray? - Oh!
Oh, my gosh, I am really excited to find out who is it? Who is it?
Gordon ramsay walks in this bitch?
He would walk right out. What would they cook with?
We have no stove, we have no oven.
Listen, the space food here is getting pretty critical.
I'll tell you how good the food is.
- Look how skinny we getting. - So skinny.
Porsha: I am so glad we got this resupply on the way to mars.
I want the necessities.
So, I want butter, and I definitely want cheese.
Cheese. Cheese. I just want cheese.
Maybe they'll send a politician.
I feel like if anybody comes in here
That's anyone's enemy, I would easily turn on them
Because I'm friends with y'all now.
- We're space fam. - Space fam.
Right now I think porsha is the most influential in the hab
'cause I think she breaks down those barriers
Of feeling like there's cliques.
Porsha still has the ability to talk to anyone,
And be pretty democratic.
This is the best place to have an enemy come though.
It's like being able to catch an enemy in an alley.
Martian law.
I'm noticing the different cliques within the hab.
The athletes, ronda, lance, and marshawn,
Are definitely standing up for one another
In a way that I wasn't necessary expecting.
Find a rhythm first.
Let's get a rhythm. There we go. We got it.
( grunting )
Oh, that one.
I guess the people I feel most comfortable with
Are just by default the athletes here.
Homegirl.
- That would kill somebody. - ( bleep )
Put the pads up.
Now give me one to the chin.
So the good thing is is now I have my support system
To kind of lean back on when we have new people here.
- All right, all right. - Wanna switchie?
- Wanna take a few? - No, no.
I need a break.
- Okay. - That's intense.
- It's fun, huh? - Now I can punch at you?
- No, you can hold. - No, that's what you here for.
A punching bag.
- You try this pita? - Uh-uh.
Tastes like a goodyear tire.
So I did a podcast a month ago, and this guy wanted to ask me
- About transgender stuff in sports. - Mm-hmm.
And I said, "listen, one of my most key employees,
They're transitioning.
I have no problem with that. I love it. Let's go."
And I said to the guy on the podcast, I said,
"listen, this is real simple.
You wanna transition? Let's do it.
You have your own category."
We're gonna have a whole new division.
We'll celebrate you just like we celebrate everybody else.
Let's go. What's unfair about that?
To me, I think we just have to care about if you other-ize people,
- It's not good for their mental health. - Do what?
- Like, other-ize people. - What's that mean?
Kinda like exclude them from the same spaces
And places that everyone else is.
Actually, no, we're not excluding anybody.
By the way, I sound like a right wing lunatic. I'm not.
I'm the most liberal person.
But from a sporting perspective...
Tinashe: I wasn't really shocked to hear his opinions,
But I definitely didn't think that he should be the spokesperson for that.
You're ostracizing the people who don't fit in the categories.
You might not agree with me, and I might not agree with you,
But that's okay, right?
And there's a lot of sensitive subjects,
And it's not just trans issues and trans in sports.
It could be abortion, it could be war,
It could be gun violence, it could be poli--
Anything, global warming.
But if you can't feel safe to enter into the conversation,
Then we've a lot lost.
That is so disheartening.
It really is.
Those comments here in this experiment
Have completely shifted the energy
And have completely shifted the focus,
And I will not ever forget them.
That's not the conversation you need to be having here.
Lance: It's not-- what are you talking about?
You're not at you're kitchen table.
My view is my view until proven differently.
If this discussion gets to a place
Where a room of the brightest scientists
And medical experts and everything else
Can say 100% without a doubt
That it's a level playing field for this issue,
Then we're fine.
It's way more nuanced than what he was making...
Way more nuanced.
For these trans girls to compete in sports,
They need to be on these testosterone blockers for years.
For a long time, to where their actual hormone levels...
...Their testosterone levels will be below other biological female women.
Right. Correct, correct.
I don't understand why you would ever bring this up in here.
Well, I pissed off way too many people.
Ariel: When you're stuck in a hab with people that you don't know,
That most likely don't agree with you,
Yeah, I am not able to let that go.
Life on mars will definitely improve slightly
If whoever comes in here has a good vibe.
That is always welcome.
- Wow. - Shatner: Coming up...
Adam: We've gotta save those celeb-ronauts.
Yeah, speed!
Marshawn: Push the red button.
- Whoa! - ( all cheering )
Computer: Capsule oxygen levels critical.
Porsha: Who is it? Who is it?
Arf, arf.
Arf, arf, arf.
Arf, arf.
Who should be the new b.C.? Base commander.
I mean, I always think that ariel should be base commander.
I'd love to be base commander at a certain point,
But we'll see what everyone wants. I don't care.
Everyone remaining in this hab is extremely competitive.
Some people play it cool.
Some people are like, "oh, I'm not competitive.
I don't really care about being here."
But at the end of the day, you can see it in their eyes.
I'd like to see porsha be base commander, too. Just--
Yeah. No, she'd be awesome.
Ariel: We are so weirded out that more people are coming in here,
And it's a little more of a strategic vibe.
I'm very excited to do the job of a base commander.
I'm also-- I mean, of course, excited to be safe.
- Who should be b.C.? - Oh, I don't know who.
I think one of y'all should be b.C.
- Okay. - And then we go from there.
- But, like, just think about it. - So what do you think?
If I'm b.C., there's no way either of you
Are in the bottom three.
Adam: I think the game is really changing
'cause we have four potential people joining us here in the hab,
But I have no idea who the new crew might be.
So did I think it was time
To pull out a little bit of strategy? I did.
Tinashe is in it, and I love porsha,
So I'd love to make it all the way with her and tinashe.
That would be a fab three, for sure.
All these base commanders have been really hand-picking those three people.
- It's a lot of power. - It's a lot of power.
- I wanna do it. - Okay.
- You do? - Adam: Yeah.
I'd vote for you.
- I'm ready to play. - Game on.
I absolutely do not do alliances.
I know for a fact alliances ruin things.
We three click really, really well,
So of course you wanna keep the person here,
But we aren't standing against anybody else.
We're just standing for each other.
- ( alarm blaring ) - computer: Incoming message.
It is time to choose a new base commander.
It's time I whip this crew into shape.
Okay, I think I would be a good base commander.
I think you'd be a great base commander.
- I think that I'm a good communicator. - Agreed.
- Adam: I think I can be clear and concise. - Okay.
- I can think quick on my feet. - Mm-hmm.
So I think I'm ready to buckle down
And take us to mars.
- Okay! - I'm for it.
- Keep us on mars. - I'm in.
- Best base commander speech ever! - Adam, adam, adam!
- Yes, adam. - Right?
I have gotten to stay back two times in a row now,
And I just felt like it wasn't right, wasn't fair to the team,
So I wasn't going to push.
I feel like there's going to be a great chance
To take up the job of base commander after adam.
Computer: Adam, your first job as base commander
Is to assign the base duties.
It's really important to me as base commander
To make sure that everyone is on the same page.
We're going to send some of the celeb-ronauts out to collect rock samples.
Computer: Collecting and studying rock samples is crucial
To making important scientific discoveries on mars.
- I'm going outside. - You want to? Okay, marshawn.
- I wanna collect samples. - You know I wanna go outside.
So I think rock samples, ronda and marshawn,
Are you good with the-- okay?
- Are you good? - Red rocks!
Great. Let's do that.
It's fine.
Computer: Ronda and marshawn,
Suit up and report to the airlock.
Ronda: Another beautiful day on the red planet collecting red rocks.
Did you know it's called the red planet
Because all the iron in the soil
Got oxidized and turned into rust?
So, what, is you like the encyclopedia for mars?
No, no, I just watched a lot of youtube.
We're looking for anything that stands out or looks interesting.
When I was a little kid, I wanted to be an archeologist.
Or I thought it was archeologist,
But I really wanted to be a geologist.
You know, you're a little kid. You don't know the difference.
These ones look kind of different.
Possibly volcanic in origin, you know?
I tried not to nerd-out on it too much
Because I've been going, like, super nerd this whole experiment.
I bet this is a kind of basalt.
Marshawn: She started spitting some interesting facts.
I don't know what the hell she was saying.
Something about the intergalactic something something something.
I don't even know what the hell was--
I just nodded my head like, "yep."
- I wanna check something out. - Okay.
So it looked like a little interesting space over here, right?
- What do you see over there? - I don't know, but I'm breaking ( bleep ) on the way.
Watch out. Those rocks are not really stable.
- Oh! - Careful! Oh!
- Oh, my god! I'm coming! - Man down! Man down!
- Aah! - Ronda!
- ( laughing ) - I'm in distress!
I done bust my ass on mars.
Hold on, hold on, hold on. Let me get stable. Hold tight.
- All right, ready? One, two-- - you got your feet right?
( grunting, laughing )
All right, all right. Here we go.
Hey, don't even trip.
Look, just know I'll always have your back.
Aw, I never doubt it for a second.
Marshawn: Developing a relationship with ronda, I mean, it was pretty easy.
But, you know, something that I didn't know about her
Was just how down to earth and how cool she is.
Aww, space hug.
( laughing )
That teammate love and connection has always kind of been a safe place for me.
Are we making it to the end, marshawn?
Man, there's been so many twist and turnys,
Ups and downys,
I don't know-deez...
But I know that the biggest challenges
Facing me aren't physical.
They're mental and social.
With new people coming in,
That anxiety is coming back anew.
I kind of have to start all over again
Getting know everybody,
And that's kind of the most stressful part for me.
So if the new people cause discord,
They're going right out in the airlock.
I don't care.
Tinashe: All right, everyone, I'm reading the key mars facts.
A year on mars is approximately 687 earth days.
- Oh! So we're gonna age up here. - A year takes longer.
Oh, is that why we're starting to look better?
- Adam: Yeah. - We're aging in reverse.
Gravity on mars is 62% lower than it is on earth.
So if you're 200 pounds on earth,
- You'll probably only weigh 83 pounds. - Oh, I like that.
- So not only were younger, we're getting skinnier. - We're getting younger.
I love this.
Arf, arf.
( alarm blaring )
Arf.
Emergency, emergency, emergency!
( screaming, laughing )
Computer: Incoming message from mission control.
What did I miss?
- It's an emergency! - Right.
Porsha: Okay, where is marshawn? Marshawn!
Hello again, crew. We have an emergency.
A resupply craft with four new crewmembers has gone off course,
Crashed in the martian desert.
To make matters worse, it's split in half
Causing two nuclear canisters to break free.
If you don't act quickly, the radiation will destroy
Your much needed supplies and spread to the habitat,
Putting the mission in grave danger.
Locate the downed craft, rescue your new celeb-ronauts,
And safely destroy the radioactive canisters
Before it's too late.
I'm downloading all of the information for your base commander.
This mission will test your ingenuity
And will earn you a mission patch.
Base commander, pick your mission specialist.
Good luck out there, crew. You're gonna need it.
All right, so it sounds like that ship
Of four people coming in crashed.
And there's radioactivity.
You've got to bury that in the ground.
It feels like a serious mission,
But you guys feel like serious people.
I love this pep talk.
I think at this point in the experiment,
You need to have a little strategy.
I'm not ashamed of it.
Porsha, I would love for you to be my mission specialist.
( cheering )
- What? What? - Speech, speech, speech, speech, speech.
- ( cheering ) - I am so shocked.
I wasn't even prepared, so I don't really have a speech
'cause I don't know that he was gonna choose me. But...
Oh, I love to strategize. I love it all day.
I mean, what else the hell I'm gonna think about all day on mars, okay?
I wanna first thank ronda.
You have gotten me ready for this role.
You've been getting me out and punching me every day,
And I really do appreciate it.
I wasn't expecting an acceptance speech.
Did I love it? Every second.
To our base commander, stay fabulous,
And get this group back from the mission.
- Absolutely. - Ronda: That's a great speech.
- Great speech. - Ah, wonderful.
Porsha: Adam and I are gonna do really good as a team.
He's gonna go through all of those things--
Science or whatever you gotta remember--
And I will execute.
I do wanna give a warning.
This mission is before we bring in the four people.
We, in this room, have been charged with the mission
- To go get them. - Right.
Meaning one of us is maybe going home
In the place of those four people.
But let's really, really show up
For the original team on this one.
Yeah.
I kind of have mixed feelings
About having more people here.
On one hand, it's like, more people, more competition.
But on the other hand, I get to rewear some of my outfits
Because they didn't get to see them.
Ariel: Reporting for duty!
Adam: All right, team, serious mission here.
We need to dispose of those canisters.
We have to rescue four people who have just crashed.
We have to save the mission. You locked in. You look ready.
Your base commander and your mission specialist,
We're here to guide you all throughout the way.
- Let's go do this. - ( indistinct chatter )
And don't forget that!
Let's go. We're with you all the way.
Ariel: All right, bye, guys.
Adam: Bye, guys. Good luck.
We love you. All the best.
- Oof. - ( humming )
Just a little, you know.
Yes! Okay, they're out.
- They're out, we're in. - We're in.
We gotta figure out what to do.
Porsha, you know, I'm seriously--
I think first things first, I need to go
- Finish curling my hair. - Right.
I got my mars curls.
I feel really good about it. It's cute, right?
I mean, it's a little different from down on earth,
But it's still bomb.
They have a great attitude this morning.
- They do. They have a great attitude, yes. - They really do. Right?
- And so do we. All right. - Always, always.
- Let's go! - Catch 'em!
Hit the gas! Get 'em!
This is an emergency, baby!
Hi, team, this is your base commander. Porsha is here.
She's gonna be your main voice and point of contact
During this mission to keep communication clear.
Ay! Commando.
Oh, my gosh! This is so cool!
Let's get this ( bleep ) started.
Computer: Warning, low oxygen supply detected in the crashed aircraft.
Adam: There's canisters that have fallen off of the aircraft.
Porsha: You are not to approach the canisters.
The radioactivity is harmful to us.
We have to deactivate them first.
Guys, this mission is 34 minutes and a half. Just letting you know.
- Copy. - ( horn honking )
Porsha: Both teams will have a rad dog,
Which will be marsha or eartha.
You're gonna direct the dogs into where the canisters are.
Adam: You will have to hook the rad dogs to the canister
And then drag it to the nearby cave.
Porsha: Lance and ronda, you all are going to direct marsha.
Eartha will be driven by tinashe and ariel.
Computer: 34 minutes and 30 seconds left before oxygen levels reach 0%.
Marshawn: Oh, you got some c4, too.
We get to blow some ( bleep ) up today?
Once you get the dogs into the cave, we'll be done,
Because then we can detonate the radioactive containers
- And it'll be safe. - Copy.
I realized this was gonna be harder than I anticipated.
If we don't succeed in this mission,
I don't wanna see any of our core seven go,
So these four people could come in here
Without proving themselves worthy.
I think we're all feeling a little bit nervous.
Adam: The spacecraft headed here
With the extra rations crashed.
So we need to save those four new people coming here.
All right, eartha, let's go, baby.
Computer: Warning, capsule oxygen levels critical.
20 minutes remaining. Initiating phase one.
Find and destroy the unstable nuclear canisters with the rad dogs.
- Base commander. - Porsha: Yes, ariel?
Is the canister in between the very large, like,
Star wars-looking thing and the three boxes?
- Is the thing in the middle? - Yes, it is.
Amazing.
Adam: You will have to hook the rad dogs to the canister
And then drag it to the nearby cave.
There's a lot at stake for this resupply mission.
The lives of these four celeb-ronauts
Are on our hands first and foremost.
And then secondly,
We need that new supplies really badly.
So, obviously we have to be successful.
Dude, all my life of gaming and learning space ( bleep ),
It's just come to now.
I got handed a playstation recorder
Attached to an actual robot.
It was like the clouds opened
And a beam of light came through,
Shined upon my face, and said,
"ronda, it is time."
Porsha: Ronda, lance is your eyes.
Lance, please tell ronda where to direct marsha.
- Lance: Right, okay. - Marshawn, you have eyes
- To help direct them. - Ronda: Eartha's moving.
- Eartha's down by the wreckage. - No, no, no. Just for the record,
- We are marsha. We're marsha. - We're marsha?
- Yes, the vest on our dog says marsha. - Okay, sorry.
Lance: Ronda, you're close.
It's really difficult to see out of these binoculars.
Okay, okay, okay, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa.
She's right over it. Ronda, I would move up a little bit.
Can you go forward a little?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up, back up.
Ronda had a harder job
Just 'cause it was hard to maneuver the dog.
The dog needs to go over the canister and it will hook itself.
- Lance: Oh! - Marshawn: It's like the claw from "toy story."
- We got it. - There you go. It's up.
- Oh, shoot! - You got it, you got it, you got it.
- There we go, baby. - Okay.
- Got it. - We got it. We got the canister hooked.
Porsha: You can proceed to the cave
So that she can be able to set up to detonate.
Ronda: Marsha's on her way.
- Good work. Lance, ronda, excellent teamwork, guys. - Yes!
Computer: Capsule oxygen levels critical.
15 minutes remaining.
Canister one detained. One canister left.
- Porsha: Eartha will be driven by tinashe. - Tinashe: Copy.
Porsha: Ariel, you are going to have eyes
On the pathway for eartha.
Marshawn, if you have a better eye to assist them, please do so.
Ariel: All right, tinashe, you good?
- Tinashe: Yep. - Okay, send eartha straight downhill.
Yep.
- Is she moving now? - Ariel: No.
Is she moving now?
Ariel: No.
- She's not moving anymore. - Eartha is not moving.
So I'm gonna be honest.
I think eartha had a mind her own,
And she was trying to avoid her duties.
- Tinashe. - Yep.
- Tinashe. - Yes?
- Tinashe. - Yes! I'm literally right behind you.
Sorry, I can't hear you. It's so hard to hear you.
- ( laughing ) - oh, eartha's starting to move.
Eartha! Eartha, keep going straight.
Curve a little bit to the right.
Eartha was having a little bit of trouble today navigating the terrain.
She was walking a little bit like she was drunk.
Ariel: She needs to go to the other canister.
Other one. The small one.
Small canister. Go, go. Turn around.
Other way. There.
Oh. Go a little bit more to the right.
Okay, you can keep circling.
Marshawn: Okay, you got it. It's lined up.
Ariel: Small canister right to the left.
( marshawn laughs )
That mario kart coming in handy, baby.
Tinashe, walk forward. Tinashe, move forward.
- Marshawn: There you go. - Ariel: Yes, yes, yes. Perfect.
Porsha: Stop right there, tinashe.
- Perfect. - Drop down. Wait, stop.
Stop, tinashe.
Down and wiggle, please.
- Uh-huh. - I think you got it.
I think I've got it.
- Got it. She's got it. - We're back.
Computer: Capsule oxygen levels critical.
- Ten minutes remaining. - Marshawn: Go straight.
Porsha: Keep it forward, team.
- Okay, there you go. - To the right.
Is that the entrance right there?
- Adam: Yep. - Both: Yes!
- All right. - You got it, baby!
- ( all cheering ) - she's in there!
- Yes, team! Great work! - You did it!
- Yes! - You did it. Great work.
Both dogs are in. We're about to secure it, blast off the cave.
I think that it's a clear testament
To everybody working together
That we got that rad dog down to the cave
To detonate those radioactive canisters.
This will be the last time
That we touch or see eartha and marsha.
They are sacrificing themselves today.
( gasps ) aww.
Yes, you won't see them anymore.
- Thank you, eartha. We love you. - We love you.
I will name a crater that's over 40 kilometers wide after you.
- Godspeed. - We love you guys.
Computer: Marshawn, get ready to detonate the canisters.
Y'all ready to blow some ( bleep ) up?
Push the red button!
- Oh! - Whoa.
- ( cheering ) - whoa!
- Let's go! - That was serious.
- Whoo! - Marsha!
Computer: Phase one complete.
- Initiating phase two... - You holding on, little mama?
Yep. We ready.
...Rescuing the supplies and new celeb-ronauts.
Porsha: All right, guys, now I just need you to go down,
Get your supplies, and load it up.
Computer: Capsule oxygen levels critical.
Two minutes remaining.
Perfect. Load it up.
Let's go get 'em.
Kind of have to, like, start all over again
Getting to know everybody.
Of course, you know,
There comes my social anxiety again.
I'm like, "oh, my god. New people! Aah!"
Porsha: Who is it? Who is it?
Let's see.
- Oh, my god, that door is so freaking slow. - It is.
( grunts )
What I'm hoping is that I meet some likeminded individuals
Who are down for a wild experiment.
- Hey, guys, you all right? - Y'all found us!
- Come on out. - Oh, man.
Watch your head! Watch your head.
- Oh, man. - Watch it.
- How's it going? - I'm lance.
- Lance, paul. - I see you.
Computer: Celeb-ronaut one rescued.
Paul pierce, nba legend.
Ariel: I'm definitely excited for new people to talk to.
I'm hoping that they're cool
And that they add to the good vibes.
- Hi, lance. - Lance, andy richter. How are you?
Good to see you.
Computer: Celeb-ronaut two rescued.
Andy richter, comedian.
He was conan o'brien's assistant.
- What up? - Hi.
Hey. Ashley. Hey.
- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
Celeb-ronaut three rescued.
Ashley iaconetti,
"bachelor" royalty.
- ( indistinct chatter ) - hey, ashley.
I'm cat. How are you? Thanks for rescuing us.
- Hi. Nice to meet you. - Thank you.
Computer: Celeb-ronaut four rescued.
Cat cora, "iron chef."
( screams )
- Cat cora! Yes! - ( squealing )
- A chef? Yes, yes, yes! - Yes!
Fortunately these four new astronauts made it here,
And, for me personally,
It's cool to get some new people
Just to kind of mix up the dynamic in the group.
I have a feeling it's going to be very interesting.
All right, let's get you guys back to the hab.
Are we loading everyone up?
Who's driving?
Computer: All four celeb-ronauts rescued.
Mission success.
I think there's been some hesitance
Towards new people entering the hab.
I feel like we're really going to hit it off.
And I hope that we do,
Or we're gonna be in some serious ( bleep ).
- Here they go. - I got it.
- We're back, base command! - Hey, guys.
My message to the new celeb-ronauts is I welcome you.
- Ooh! - It's gotta be difficult entering this hab
Knowing that so many of us have connected
For the past nine days, 24 hours a day.
Hey, guys, this is base command. Can you hear us?
Can they hear us? Hey, guys. Can you hear us?
Adam: Can you hear us? We're inside.
Ariel: Guys, guys, you can keep doing that,
But base commander's trying to talk to us in here,
So let's listen to it so that we can get our ass inside.
- Continue. - The way she was talking to us in a real bossy kind of way,
I thought she came off kind of firm and aggressive
And I really didn't like that.
So we're gonna go ahead and bring in
Our fresh celeb-ronauts.
You stale betties can stay in there for a second.
- ( laughing ) - lance: Perfect.
Computer: Decontamination in three, two, one.
- There we go. - Whoo!
Hello, hello! Nice power stance there.
Computer: Nba legend detected.
Paul pierce of the boston celtics,
Welcome to the habitat.
It's good to be here.
I play professional sports.
How was it being locked in that little thing?
That was a tough one.
I've never been in these type of conditions in my life.
I was too big for that thing.
But I'm a survivor, man,
So I'm ready for this challenge.
- Porsha: Cat? Oh! Welcome, welcome. - Whoo!
I hope you like bread, and I hope you like ketchup.
- I can make magic with that. - Okay, I believe in you.
You know what? Let her in.
Computer: Decontaminating cat cora, celebrity chef.
Porsha: I'm excited that she is a chef.
- Hey, I'm adam. - Hi, I'm porsha.
- Welcome. - Hi, porsha.
Our mars prayers have been answered.
- Wow, this is so cool. - Yeah, enjoy.
Computer: Welcome, cat cora,
- First female iron chef. - Okay.
Cat: I wanna be the last person standing on mars.
I wanna win this.
Computer: Decontaminating.
( groans )
It burns!
- Hi, guys. - Welcome, welcome.
How are you? Nice to see you.
Computer: Welcome, andy richter,
Sidekick of the "conan o'brien show."
- I don't want any fuss, okay? - I love that.
- Both: No fuss. - Good!
I'm a member of the team now.
Celebrities, we're not supposed to be, like, space people.
We're supposed to look good, throw and catch balls, sing.
I do all those things.
Computer: Decontamination in three, two, one.
- Boom! - Decontaminating. Decontaminating.
- Did they do that extra for me? - Yes.
- Yeah, a little bit. - You got two blasts.
Okay, I thought that was odd.
Welcome, "bachelorette" star ashley iaconetti.
They were really trying to decontaminate you that time.
- But you look very clean. - Yes!
Thanks. Thanks so much.
I'm glad to be here in front of you, camera.
I feel very comfortable with you.
I feel more comfortable talking to you
Than I feel with pretty much everybody out there.
- So y'all met the crew in here? - We did.
- You met them for two seconds. Who should we eliminate? - Oh, god.
Porsha: I'm just saying, let's get it started already.
Adam: We'll just take your word, yeah.
Whoever was giving the command in there, that was pretty firm.
- Porsha: Oh, ariel. - She was firm-firm.
Like, she could've asked a little more nicer to shut up.
- Yeah. - But, I mean, but I guess when you a captain,
- You know, you gotta be firm. - She's not the captain. He's the base commander.
Oh, not the captain? Aw, man. Well, that was too firm for me.
- And you're agreeing. - I knew who he was talking about though.
Well, I knew who he was talking about, too, but I was too scared to say it.
- Nah, I'ma say it. - I'm not voting for anybody. I just got here.
I'm here to make friends.
Watching new celebrities running the hab,
I was definitely feeling kind of protective
Over my little family unit that we've created here
Because potentially another extraction could happen here.
- ( buzzing ) - shatner!
Computer: Incoming message from mission control.
- Will. - Wow.
Great work out there, crew.
Never doubted you even for a minute.
Well, maybe I doubted you a little bit.
Hey, you succeeded. That's all that matters.
And welcome to four new crewmembers.
And because there are so many new and yummy supplies,
There's no need to extract a crewmember.
- Aah! Thank you! - Great.
Base commander, I authorize you to allow entry
To all celeb-ronauts.
- Oh, my gosh. - Great.
Yes, shatner!
Now that's some good news. That's some good news.
I really didn't think it was fair
For us to risk our lives to go to save someone
And then one of us has to get eliminated.
So this is perfect. Thank you so much, shatty daddy.
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
But first, we wanna play with our team.
- Okay, this is the hard part. - Yeah.
Okay, our crew in the airlock, this is, um-- you know,
This moment is always very serious here.
I don't want anybody to go, but this is the name of the game.
Ariel: I'm just nervous.
After the mission to rescue the new teammates,
One of our original team members might go home.
That's a little ( bleep ) up.
They don't look happy.
Porsha: This mission, everybody to me was mission critical.
Adam: Yeah, and so, if everybody feels like
They were mission critical...
- Then come on in! Come on in! - Then come on in!
- There's no elimination tonight. - Yes!
- God, please. - You got us.
- ( laughing ) - that was like, "whoa, that was a little intense,"
Which I think is hilarious.
- Both: Welcome back! - Welcome back! Welcome back!
Tinashe: I am definitely nervous.
We're getting four new people in the hab.
It's getting super cutthroat in this competition.
Yeah, you guys, come out to the lockers.
We'll show you where to put all your stuff.
Definitely am side-eyeing whoever's coming in here.
They're gonna have to prove themselves.
They're gonna have to work twice as hard.
Ariel: We are so weirded out that more people are coming in here.
Let's do this.
There's alliances forming, and we all have to watch our backs.
( sighs )
Well, this is going okay.
Lance: You know, having some new personalities, we need it.
You know, they come in with a fresh set of eyes and a lot less drama.
- Was it drama? - No, last night was the drama.
- What happened last night? - Oh, boy.
I'm from "the bachelor" franchise. I need the drama.
- This was terrible. - Tell us.
- This one right here? It was... - Yeah.
- ...Awful. - Ariel's scary.
Just avoid.
Cat: I'm feeling awkward,
And I'm trying to figure out what have I gotten myself into here?
- Tbc. - Yeah, yeah.
- Oh, god. - Computer: Attention, crew.
It is time to unpack your new supplies.
Hi, guys. Are we gonna have the ceremonial opening of stuff?
The entire crew, we're desperate for a resupply.
When you're on mars you're only eating noodles and cereal,
Which I've been doing for about a week.
You guys, we got cooking stuff.
- ( all cheering ) - oh, we about to fry some ( bleep ).
- Pizza! - Wings!
Ronda: Oh, my god! Wings!
Dude, these are actual buffalo wings with hot sauce.
I wanna cry.
( muted chatter )
I know I play sports and everything,
And when my coaches yell, I'm like, "don't yell at me 'cause you can talk to me."
- Right, talk. - No, just talk to me.
He was trying to eliminate ariel.
- She was kind of firm in there. - Wow.
Okay, like, you just got here.
That's kind of not cool.
I definitely feel like there's a target on me after that.
Paul: It's a competitive group, and I'm a competitor also.
When you put the social strategy in it,
You put somebody in a real difficult position.
Tomorrow night the feast is gonna happen.
- All right, all right. - 100%.
I'm gonna cook my feast tomorrow night.
- So, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yes, please.
- Can I hug you? Oh, my god! - Yes!
My strategy is to cook some good food.
That's gonna be my secret weapon.
I have olives, cheese.
When I compete, I compete to the final.
She was on "the bachelor."
Dude on "the bachelor" chose another girl. She stole him after the show.
Well, I mean, on "bachelor in paradise."
- So... - Aw, ( bleep ).
I think that the original group is very bonded together,
And I think whoever gets along with the team the most has an upper hand.
I'm not gonna ( bleep ) work out.
I mean, I might walk to a treadmill while eating a sandwich.
I act like I'm not a competitor,
But, yeah, I would love to beat the competitive people.
Lance: I'm so glad you're here, andy.
- Oh. - He's now the oldest.
Thanks, lance.
We got some new energy in here,
But from a competitive standpoint,
You just got more people to compete with.
And I would like to win, I'll just be very clear.
However, I'm gonna need to survive the current situation,
The current drama, the current politics.
Look, I'm not for everybody. I think the world knows that.
But life on mars is not a popularity contest.
( rad dog approaching )
Rad dog: Arf, arf.
Do you hear barking?
Arf, arf.
- Oh, my gosh! - Hi, babies!
Oh, that's so cool.
Marsha and eartha are alive!
- Marsha! - Eartha!
- These for real? What is going on here? - Arf, arf.
Shatner: Next time on "stars on mars"...
You new people look nervous!
I'm ready for some space ( bleep ) now.
Computer: Sensors indicate inbound meteor shower.
- Meteor strike imminent? - All: Not gonna die!
Don't fall, y'all. Watch your step.
- Meteor impact imminent. - ( screaming )
- Let's go, let's go, let's go. - No pressure.
Trying not to fall off this rover.
Welcome to mars, bitches.
I didn't understand what was happening.