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I have nightmares too.
Or the same dream over and over…
Actually.
Go on.
-It's incredible. -Stop it.
Yeah, but it's amazing.
I mean, it's…
-You are a star! -Stop it.
Enough already.
It's true. Keep going.
Come on.
She's walking…
…on hot coals.
-Wow. -Don't interrupt in the middle of it.
I'm sorry.
It's just too good. I don't know how you do it.
I haven't felt this happy since I stopped drinking.
They're gonna be floored today.
When you go.
'Cause you have to go.
You are going, right?
Yes. I think so.
No.
You are going.
Understood?
-Or I'll kill you. -Hey, friend, take it easy.
You are going.
You have to promise.
Good.
A PART OF YOU
She's walking ahead of me…
on hot coals.
I can't see her face.
She doesn't turn around.
I ask… I practically yell, "Hey!"
"Hello, can you turn around?"
But nothing happens.
She refuses.
Thank you.
Okay, let's see…
Agnes Svan.
Agnes Svan?
No Agnes Svan here? No?
Then we'll move on to the next person.
I'm here.
-Right. -Sorry.
-Noel, make sure she comes tonight. -It's Walpurgis!
-Don't be so damn boring. -Boring?
-So damn boring. -You can't… You can't say that.
You can't be that harsh. You know why.
Yes, I know, but I miss her.
Guess who?
-Julia! -Hi. How are you?
Hi, honey.
-Hi. -How are you?
I'm good.
Mmm, sour candy?
-Mm-hmm. It's so good. -Hi. Are you coming tonight?
-Yeah. -This is gonna be awesome!
-Maybe some karaoke tonight? -Do you want to?
Yeah.
Please.
-Are we going to a bonfire tonight? -No way!
Damn it.
What are you gonna wear?
Hey, I was wondering what you would like
to eat on your special day tomorrow.
-It doesn't matter. -"It doesn't matter"?
It's your birthday.
Go for something nice and expensive.
I'm so happy people are asking about my audition today.
-Oh, my… -No.
-Honey. -Hey, you.
Come on. Come here.
-How did the audition go? -Pretty good.
-Great, of course. -You don't know that.
-What will happen now? -They'll send an email tonight.
Where they'll say,
"Congratulations, Agnes!"
"You got the part!"
"You're the best!"
"You're the best we've ever seen!"
-That's what they'll say. -Exciting!
-Hello? -Come in!
It's boiling, Mom.
-Hi! How are you? -I'm good. And you?
Good.
Dinner's almost ready.
Great.
-Hi! -Hi, Carina.
-How are you? -Good. And you?
Good, thank you.
-Hi, Agnes. -Hi.
How are you?
-Good. You? -Good, thanks.
Wow, a cake!
Are we celebrating?
No. Apparently, Agnes doesn't want to.
-What? -I didn't say that, Mom.
Then let's celebrate tonight. Get a head start.
-No. I don't think so. -Just a little?
-I'd like that. -Just a taste?
Anyone else?
It's my cake.
I said no.
No.
-I said yes. -Hey.
-No. -Yes. Why are you arguing?
But…
We've stayed home for how many weeks, Noel?
Four.
-More than that. -It's not about staying home.
What are you…
It's as if we haven't had this discussion before.
How many times have we discussed this?
How many times will we discuss it?
-It leads nowhere. -Didn't we agree?
-Are you gonna lock me up, or what? -Julia. Stop it.
-I'm an adult. -Yes, I kn… Really?
-Yes, really. -I'm saying no.
Okay, but I'm going anyway. It's Walpurgis.
But you live in my house.
Right, so be grateful for that then.
Why am I saying no?
-I don't know. -Don't pretend.
-I won't even be drinking. -Look at me.
You're pretending as if we haven't had this discussion.
Noel? Can you drive me home at 11?
Thanks, Noel, but it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
And maybe it's not cool to be hung over for your sister's birthday tomorrow.
-It's all right, Mom. -It's all right.
You should stay out of this.
-Agnes, say it's all right. -Stay out of this.
Right. Thanks for dinner.
-I'm not gonna drink! -No, but…
How many times do I have to…
I'll remind you. You were like a little child.
I had to carry you!
Hi.
Hi. Can I hide in here?
…have fun with your friends?
-Are you gonna lock me up? -You know!
Do you want this? I don't know if you want something that…
Show Me Love?
'Cause you know, if it is…
-You've got good taste. -Thanks.
I know every line from this movie by heart.
No.
-No, you don't. -Yes.
-No. -I do.
Prove it.
Prove it? You have to trust me.
You can write books about, you know, psychological stuff…
…and like, mass murderers.
Most of all, I want to be a model.
Do you think I could?
Yeah, I think so.
-Get dressed. -What? Me?
-Yes. You. -Why?
Mom said I could go if you come along.
-What, to Esther's? -Yes. So get dressed now.
Should I wear this?
Or maybe… this?
That one.
This one?
I'll pick this one.
Okay, hurry up, guys.
You're weird.
You're weird too.
-Am I? -Yes.
I wanna be weird, or…
Not weird but… I don't wanna be like everyone else.
Although sometimes I think I am just like everyone else.
But you're not.
Do you know what my nightmare is?
That I'll end up staying in Åmål. That I'll never leave.
You can't have a bonfire in a residential area, Julia.
Of course you can. It's Walpurgis!
-They have one every year. -You can end up in jail.
-What are you talking about? -It's true.
You're just making stuff up all the time.
Wait a second, I'll fix my makeup.
Hang on.
Please.
Here, have the rest.
What is it?
Hang on.
I'm just gonna… help you out a little bit.
-Come here. -What now?
-Come here. You have such nice lips. -Hey, what is that?
I'm making you nice and festive.
Come on, then, guys.
-Not that one. -Wait.
-Oh, there! -Yeah, okay.
Exactly!
Esther, go. Show us!
Show us!
No!
Okay, that…
-Guess who? -Julia!
-Hi, everybody! -You look so pretty. Wow!
Hello!
-How are you? -Come here.
Hi!
Damn, we've missed you at these parties!
-What kind of fun stuff is this? -Hi!
-How are you? -We're good.
-What's going on? -Julia.
-Hi, Agnes! -Hi.
-Hi.
-Are you having fun?
-A lot of fun. -Yes.
Yeah.
Now, this is fun.
One for you, one for me. There.
You're kidding.
"This is the story of…"
Come on!
No phone, no chick, he's everywhere
From Lund, Gothenburg to Södermalm
He's your savior, your right-hand man
If you battle him you'll fall down
That's the start of the story
He was down with the crew
So special, and so were they
Some didn't like it, you know Stockholm
Then one day, checking out the sale
The crew starts shouting, "There he is!"
It's time for the show!
Okay.
Come on!
Julia!
AMIR SALMAN PLAY CASTING
I'm freaking out!
You're watching me like the fucking police.
What are you doing? What's the problem?
People are worried about you.
-Julia, where are you going? -I'm walking home.
-Julia! -You can drive Agnes.
Move!
Julia.
I'm sorry.
-I'll get Agnes. -Okay.
Agnes!
-Agnes! -What?
We're leaving.
Julia wants to go home, so I think we're leaving. Okay?
Julia!
Shall we… sit down?
What?
No.
So, we have tried…
-Our utmost. -Yes? No.
But unfortunately…
I'm sorry, but shouldn't…
-I am the surgeon. -Sorry, I might be confused, but…
-I performed the surgery… -No, what are you doing now?
I'm a surgeon.
And I operated on your daughter, who was brought in here.
And who's the doctor?
-I am. -You are?
Okay. So why aren't you in there helping her?
I know this is hard.
Can I speak to someone else? I can't… Are you listening to me?
-I hear what you're saying. -Yes.
-I understand. -I…
-But unfortunately… -No.
No.
-I'm sorry. -No, please leave.
Go away.
-Can-- -Go away.
I can't breathe.
Oh, my God.
What… why are you calling so early?
What's the matter?
-Hello? -Yes…
But, what's the matter?
It's… Ju…
What? I can't hear you, darling. What has happened?
Huh?
Say something.
It's Ju…
No, I can't…
Has something happened to Julia?
What are you saying? I can't hear you.
It's Julia.
She's dead.
Don't be afraid
There is a secret sign
A name that protects you now when you go
Your loneliness
Has shores leading towards the light
Don't be afraid
There are footsteps in the sand
Don't be afraid
There is a darkened harbor
You don't see it now
But you are going there
One day you will
Loudly confess His name
His loving peace
Asks nothing in return
Where are you going?
To school.
I told them you'll be staying home a while longer.
Yeah, I know. But…
Right, see you later.
What's happening this weekend?
I don't know. I thought we could…
just chill.
-Watch a movie, maybe? -Can't we do something fun?
Okay.
Great.
See you after German class.
-Hi. -Hi.
Hi.
-How are you? -Good.
-It was a lovely funeral, anyway. -Absolutely.
Come in.
Hi.
Hey.
Come on in.
I just wanted to say thank you for the part
and that I'd love to be… in it.
-The play, that is. -Yeah? Nice.
Take a seat.
I can relate to… what you're going through.
My brother also passed away in an accident when I was about your age.
When do we start rehearsals?
I did so much stupid stuff that I shouldn't have done.
But then I started thinking about what he would have wanted me to do, and…
Yeah.
Then I ended up here.
Come tomorrow at 3 p.m.
-No. Just… no! -Can I have a look at it, please?
-Please? -That's enough.
Show me, won't you?
Take it easy.
-Are you hungry? -Yeah, a little bit.
-Want some sandwiches? -Sure.
Can you hand me a butter knife?
Thank you.
Grab whatever you want.
AGNES 17!
I'm sorry.
HONEY
I HAD TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE FOR A BIT.
I'M AT GRANDMA'S. CALL IF YOU NEED ANYTHING.
LOVE YOU
Agnes?
Hello, Agnes?
Agnes, can we talk?
Hi.
God, sorry. It's just that…
-You looked just like… -Yeah, sorry.
No. It just felt so… powerful.
Hi. How are you?
-I'm good. How are you? -Good.
What's going on?
It's just… It's Julia's top.
That we…
We bought it when we went to Berlin.
Should we grab lunch?
-Sure… -Yeah.
-Come, join us. -Yeah.
Do you know Adrian Hagerfors?
Yeah, we have French class together.
What about him?
He's standing outside.
No!
-Adrian. -Cut it out.
-No, it wasn't that bad. -I've missed you.
Come on, stop it.
-I haven't seen you in so long. -Stop it. No.
-And I've thought about… -Fanna's got a crush on Adrian.
-No. -Yes, you do.
-No. -Yeah, so…
Last winter, at a Christmas party…
-Well, your sister… -Stop it.
She thought that Fanna and Adrian would make a great couple.
So…
Fanna walks up.
She doesn't know what to say, so she takes her beer and opens it in a kind of…
sensual way.
-I can't bear to listen to this. -Adrian.
It was really awkward, because of course Adrian was super high.
He's coming.
Calm down.
-Hey, what's up? -Hi.
-Hi.
-It's good to see you.
You too.
I wanted to ask if you're coming tonight.
What do you mean?
I'm throwing a party tonight.
Come. Bring Lydia.
Yeah, okay. Sounds fun.
Great.
Arrivederci.
Hi.
Hi. Agnes!
I've thought a lot about you.
-You want to go for a walk? -I have rehearsals.
-So I can't. -I'll wait for you then.
That won't work, because I'm going to Sam's party.
I just want to talk.
I'm so incredibly sad.
See you.
Please. Agnes!
And we'll keep it to ourselves.
Don't look so scared.
It's just a game to get us warmed up.
It's nothing weird.
ANGER
Okay.
Agnes.
Do you want to go first?
I don't really know what to do.
Which one did you get?
That one's tricky.
Okay. Let's try this.
Can you guys just back up a little bit?
Let's make some space.
Come up towards me.
Come up.
I just want you to scream out loud.
Give it a try.
What?
Out loud. Just yell.
Come on.
No laughing, guys.
-It's hard. -Yeah, I get it.
We're all actors.
So…
Try being somebody else.
Think about someone who would've dared to yell out loud.
Yes?
-Let's grab a drink. -Yes.
-Can we help ourselves? -I don't know.
Are there any glasses?
Yeah, here, I think.
Do you just dip it in there?
I don't know.
Hi.
-Hi. -Hi.
-How are you? -Good, and you?
-Great. -Hi. You look so pretty.
-So do you. -Yeah?
Apparently, Sam can't get up.
-Fanna! -Yeah.
Yes, Sam, I'm coming.
-Hi, Sam. How are you doing? -Honey, come here.
-Hi, Sam. -Hi!
-Hi. -Oh!
-You're so beautiful. Do you know that? -Thank you.
You know that, Lydia? Remember how beautiful you are.
-Thank you. -Yes.
-Sam. -Yes.
-Is everything okay? -Yeah. Sam?
Not the greatest.
-Sam? -I think I wanna get in this water.
Sam.
No, Sam. You're gonna fall in.
Sam!
Okay, enough already. Sam, get it together.
Sam. No, Sam.
Sam! No, for real. For real, Sam.
I better not.
-Come on, Sam. -But I think I want to.
Let's dance.
Come on!
Okay, next person in line.
Who's next?
-You? -Over my dead body.
Agnes?
Yes, you and me. Come on.
Agnes!
Okay.
Calm down.
Come on!
Agnes!
Ouch! Stop!
-Let's break for a shot. -Yeah.
Time for a shot.
-What would you like? -What?
-What would you like? -I would like…
something strong.
Maybe some tequila for us both?
I'll get it.
What the hell are we sitting around for?
Oh.
Guess who?
Did you get…
…the glasses?
I just have to…
Hi.
-Hi. Oops. -How are you?
Good.
How are you?
I'm good.
Fanna?
-Yeah? -What was she like drunk?
Who?
-Why is there such a weird vibe? -Come on, Agnes.
I'm not the only one borrowing her clothes, if that's what you're thinking.
Mom does it, too.
-But… -Agnes.
It's not that hard.
I always thought it would be super hard.
-But it's not hard. -Please, Agnes. Stop.
-Stop it! -Don't do this.
That's enough, stop.
-Give it back. -Stop it!
Give it.
It's…
Can you stop it? Stop!
What the fuck!
Where's Carina?
At Grandma's.
How are you?
Fine.
Thank you.
Want some pasta?
Yes, please.
-I don't want to stress you out. -What now?
I smell something burning.
Turn this burner down.
-Turn down the heat and add that. -No, don't…
No, don't add more salt.
Just a bit more.
No, take it easy. Take it easy!
-A little bit more. -No, easy.
Hey, what…
-What are you doing? -It's done.
I have nightmares too.
Or the same dream over and over.
Actually.
Who cares about dreams?
-So boring. -Quiet. Let her continue.
She's walking ahead of me on hot coals,
and I can't see her face.
She doesn't turn around.
And…
I…
Thank you.
-Sorry, I couldn't… -No. Don't worry.
This is the first time she speaks.
She's kind of been keeping… everything bottled up.
And this is the moment she finally puts it into words.
You see?
Okay, let's try that.
She's walking ahead of me…
on hot… coals.
She doesn't turn around.
And I can't see her face.
And I ask her…
No, I practically yell, "Can you turn around?"
But nothing happens.
She refuses.
"Look out."
That's all she says.
"Be careful."
But…
But I've been careless, I've stepped…
I've stepped on the coals and my dress is on fire.
Everything…
Everything is on fire.
My entire body is burning.
And… then she suddenly turns around.
"There you go," she says.
"What did you expect?"
And I don't know…
I don't know what I expected.
"It's not free," she says.
"Not for us."
Thank you.
Nice.
-I'm so excited. -That part with all the…
It feels like it could be good.
-What? -It's beautiful.
What are you doing?
Take it.
-Take it, then. -Yes.
-Thank you. -Sure.
Go on, move.
And then you can…
Yeah.
-Come on. -There.
If you stand over there, you can…
-Have this. -What the hell.
I wet the bed
until I was about 13 or 14.
I know. I had a problem, but it was like…
-You can't be… -I even went to a doctor.
-No! -Yes. I got little pills.
They tasted kind of like styrofoam.
It was a really weird thing.
We had a kind of…
It was a small device, like a walkie-talkie. It sat here.
-On your shoulder? -Yes.
You'd have to sleep in like a T-shirt or vest.
And there was this wire or tube going down.
-No way. -Down there. Yes.
What was it for?
It had a little… like a little sensor on it.
-That you put on your underwear. -Oh, to detect it?
Yeah, it would detect when it was about to…
As soon as there was… some pee.
Then the thing up here would sound an alarm.
Yeah.
God, that's so weird.
Okay.
Yeah. I also wet the bed when I was little.
You did?
-Then why are you laughing at me? -I wasn't 13, Noel.
No.
I was seven. Maybe eight.
Yeah, that's a much more reasonable age. Or is it?
-At least I wasn't a teenager. -Okay.
But thinking about it, I could've used that device,
'cause I remember waking up because it was so cold.
And then…
Then, well…
Well, I just got up and went in…
…into Julia's room and laid down there.
Kind of at her feet, like a little dog.
'Cause it was warm there.
Let's go for a swim.
What?
Do you wanna go for a swim?
Don't get too close.
-No. -Really?
-No. -Can you float?
-On my back? -Not everyone can do that.
-I can't float. -Okay, watch me, then.
You have to…
-Impressive. -Thank you.
Come on now, boys!
Let's see you push! Push with your legs!
Get the ball!
Come on!
Here.
Max!
Great!
Thank you.
What?
It's just…
It's interesting that you found it in all of this chaos.
-It's not that messy. -You're behind.
It's easier to find stuff when it's out.
-Yes, organized chaos. -I've got it all under control.
-I know exactly where everything is. -Right.
It's… yeah.
So you're okay coming across as a…
not particularly clean person?
What do you mean?
Somebody who kind of likes the mustiness, and…
-The foul smell. -Stop it.
But it's like… You live in a damn mess.
-That's what I'm trying to say. -Enough.
Don't look, then, if you don't wanna see it.
-God, that's better. -Is that good?
Much better. Thank you, Agnes.
It's so hot in here.
I have a tiny fan.
That's perfect.
"I have a tiny fan."
No.
Wait a bit?
Please, stop.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Agnes.
So what's driving Selma Lagerlöf during this stage of her life?
Is it anger? Grief?
Maybe even love?
There are books about this, and movies.
I've thought a lot about it.
But now I'm curious about what you think.
Any thoughts on this?
Hannes?
Petra?
Anyone?
Hello? Class?
Time to wake up.
Didn't the alarm go off this morning?
Agnes, please. Can you put your phone away?
Yes. I'm sorry.
Do you think Selma Lagerlöf had a cell phone? Huh?
No. No, I don't think so.
No, thank you. Leave it where it is.
Are you coming to Lagret tonight?
Yeah, well I…
No, shit, sorry. I keep forgetting you're not 18.
Okay. Go ahead, one more time.
I have nightmares too.
Or the same dream, actually.
Who cares about dreams?
-So boring. -Quiet. Let her continue.
Go to your spot.
Yes. There. Go ahead.
She's walking ahead of me…
on hot coals.
-I can't see… -Wait… What are you doing?
One more time, but this time with feeling.
I did feel it.
No, don't give me that.
Come on now. One more time.
I don't get it. I'm doing it exactly like yesterday.
One more time.
She's walking ahead of me.
Guys, calm down now. This part isn't easy.
It is easy. What am I doing wrong?
Listen.
We open in a few days.
I know.
-We need to focus, Agnes. -I am focused.
Let me read it again and I'll fix it.
You know, I think it's best if you just take today off to rest.
I don't need to rest.
-Yes, you do. -No.
You're not present.
Yes, I am fucking present!
You know what? We don't use that tone in here.
That's enough.
It's pathetic to teach drama at a high school.
Excuse me?
What did you say?
I said it's pathetic to teach drama at a fucking high school.
Your brother would've been embarrassed.
Are you coming tonight?
See you there.
You can just put that in the freezer.
Okay.
Oh God, ouch.
Did you hurt your back?
No.
Let me just check on Agnes.
Agnes?
Agnes!
What are you doing?
Turn around.
Turn around, I said.
What is this?
-What? -Yes, what is this?
What are you laughing at?
It's great to have you back.
You've been drinking.
-Right? -So what?
You're not going anywhere like that.
-I'll go wherever I like. -Where to?
-Out. -No.
-Not like that. -Yes.
-No. You're not going out like that. -I'll wear what I want.
No.
-No. -Let go of me.
I'm sorry.
I know you're angry with me and I miss…
I miss her so very much.
And I would like us to talk.
-Can we do that? -No.
-Yes. -No.
-I'm going to hug you now. -No.
-Leave me alone. No. Let me go. -I'm hugging you.
-Mom, let go of me! Mom! -No.
Mom!
Agnes. Come here.
Sorry. Excuse me.
Welcome.
Hi.
-Are you good? -I'm good.
-Hi. -Hi.
Can I see some ID for you both?
-Thank you. -Thanks.
-Do you have an ID as well? -Hang on.
Thank you.
-Thank you. -Welcome.
Thank you.
-Do you want anything? -Yes, anything.
What? Okay.
Come in later.
-Hi. -Hi.
Can I have, well… anything?
What?
-Well, two of anything. -Okay.
The next person to sing is Lea!
Come on, everyone! Put your hands together for Lea!
Thank you.
Hi.
-How are you? -Great.
Actually, Mom was a pain in the ass.
I don't know what she's doing.
How did you get in?
I used Julia's ID.
Can I see it?
-What? -The ID.
Show me.
We look alike. Apparently.
Stop it.
'Cause I really don't know if I can take it anymore, Agnes.
What?
I don't understand what… What are you trying to achieve?
This game, is it over soon?
Esther, calm down.
But if this is part of your grieving process…
-Esther… -No!
I'm tired of pretending that nothing's wrong!
Wipe off that gross blue eyeshadow. It disgusts me!
-You, if anyone, should be into this. -What?
Well, weren't you in love with her?
Oops, sorry. Was that a secret?
You didn't think she'd say? She told me everything.
I knew her better than you, probably.
Obviously.
Have you even been to see her?
I've never seen you there, in the memorial garden.
Not even once.
Okay.
No.
Give me the ID.
Give it to me.
I said give it to me! Let go!
Agnes!
Where are you going? Are you running away again?
I can't look at you, Agnes.
-What did you say? -I can't look at you!
What is it you can't look at? Huh?
Look at me. I said look at me!
Stop it, Agnes. Please stop.
Please, I can't take this!
Look at me!
What's the problem?
Please stop, Agnes.
So why are you sleeping with me if you can't stand the likeness?
-Agnes, you're not listening to me. -Let go!
Julia was a black hole!
You don't want to be near that.
Please, listen.
You have no idea.
You don't know what…
I'm sorry.
Every day…
I wake up wishing
that I'd done something.
Yeah, but you didn't.
You don't get it.
That night, you… You don't know what happened.
-What I think happened. -I know what happened.
-I've known her my whole life! -There were sides to her you never saw.
You don't know how messed up she got.
-For three years… -No.
For three years I ran after her, drove her everywhere, took care of her.
I made sure she was okay, that she didn't hurt herself.
Stop lying!
What…
What do you want me to say?
Huh?
Stop it!
I loved her too, Agnes.
Please, I have to tell you. Please.
Just stop it!
Don't you get it? It's your fault!
It's your fault she's gone!
What do you want me to say, Agnes? Huh?
What do you wanna hear? That she'll come back?
-Quiet! -Huh?
-Shut up! -She's dead, Agnes!
Dead!
Fucking…
-She's fucking dead! -Shut up!
-Hi. -Hi.
Can you play "Wake Me Up" by Avicii?
Julia Svan.
The next person to sing will be Julia Svan, performing "Wake Me Up."
Julia Svan!
Put your hands together for Julia!
JULIA SVAN - ROSENDAL'S HOSPITAL
MOM: I'M SORRY
I MISS YOU - I LOVE YOU - I'M SORRY
I MISS YOU
I JUST WANT TO SLEEP I'VE TRIED EVERYTHING.
PANIC. I HATE MY BRAIN. IT'S NEVER QUIET.
THE MEDS AREN'T HELPING. QUITTING DRINKING DIDN'T HELP.
WHAT CAN HELP ME?
IF LIFE IS ALWAYS GOING TO FEEL LIKE THIS, THEN MAYBE IT'S NOT WORTH IT.
Agnes?
Agnes.
Yes.
She's home. Thank you for letting me know.
Honey.
Why didn't you tell me anything?
Why didn't anyone…
Why is it…
It wasn't an accident.
-It wasn't an accident, Mom. -Oh, my goodness.
No. We don't know that.
We don't know that, honey.
But I need to know.
I don't know what to do.
-It hurts so much. -Yes, I know.
-I know it hurts. -I can't breathe, it hurts so much.
I know it hurts, honey, but I'm here.
-I can't take it! -I'm here. I'm holding you.
I know it hurts.
I know.
I can't take it.
Yes, I know.
Why didn't you tell me? Why?
I… I don't know.
I wanted to.
She… She didn't want to.
She didn't want that.
I should have seen it.
-I should have noticed it. -You know what?
I should have done something.
-We should have done something! -We were there for her.
We loved her.
You loved her, and I loved her.
We were there for her.
-No, we should have done something. -You know what?
Yes. We did. We were there for her, honey.
We were there for her. She knows that.
She knows that.
I can't go…
-No. -No. I'm holding you.
We're here now.
You and I are here.
We're here now.
Listen to me. Trust me.
Trust me.
My darling.
I'm sorry.
Hi.
Do you have class?
Yeah, in a bit.
I know now.
I…
I haven't…
I haven't visited her either.
I…
I don't know how to do it.
I don't think anyone does.
We could have been 11 years old,
and you know how Julia always has to go too far.
One step further than the rest of us.
And I think we'd taken…
You know my dad used snuff, and it was not…
…behind.
And then it's you, right after that.
-Wait. -Hey, stop it.
Do you like it?
Thank you.
You went on first yesterday.
Ten minutes left. Get ready!
-Yeah. -Here.
-Hi. -Hi. You'll do great.
Thank you.
We don't have much time left.
We only have one chance before dawn.
Does anyone else want to share?
I have nightmares too.
Or the same dream over and over…
Actually.
Who cares about dreams?
So boring.
Quiet. Let her explain.
She…
is walking ahead of me.
On hot coals.
I can't see her face.
She doesn't turn around.
I ask her.
No, I practically…
I practically yell, "Can you turn around?"
But nothing happens. She refuses.
"Look out."
That's all she says.
"Be careful."
But I'm careless and I…
I step on the coals.
So that my dress…
catches fire.
Everything catches fire.
My entire body is burning.
"There you go," she says.
"What did you expect?"
And I don't know. I don't know what I expected.
"It's not free," she says.
"Not for us."
I don't remember anything else.
Say it.
What do you want us to say?
I understand now.
What do you understand?
That I burned up.
Finally.
FOR WILLIAM 1997 - 2016
Subtitle translation by: Ingrid Berglund