The South Island of New Zealand, it's an epic place.
It's wet, it's cold, it's snowy.
If you don't respect the environment here,
it will slap you hard.
I just need to bring some food in.
Look at that stonker!
Last night, there was deer all around me.
That's freaking delicious.
I know how tough it's going to be.
Oh, my God, I miss them.
You've got to feel safe, otherwise, you just die out here.
It doesn't feel as bad as it looks, feels worse.
This shit just got lit.
Jesus! I'm scared enough to have my emergency tap-out in my hand.
The last person standing, they take home $250,000.
(SOBS) Somebody help me!
Oh, oh, I think he's bigger than the other one.
I'm eating a lot of greens,
that I haven't really found overly palatable.
But I'm not going to waste this opportunity.
In the back of my head, I've always been saying,
"100 days. Let's try 100 days."
I'm learning that my capacity
to bring in protein here is very limited.
Time to finish off the little mouse trap.
I have no food.
I've seen a couple of mice around and possum. That worked.
This is my future protein supply.
Oh, oh, that is just freaking awful.
I know my wife would be saying, "Just listen to your heart.
"Your heart's where the answers are."
I am calling up to officially bow out of Alone Australia.
I look forward to the loving embrace of my wife again.
Time to return to family.
Something changed yesterday, big time.
It's freezing cold.
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
Got up this morning, it was a very cold morning
after a very cold night. Ice everywhere.
Just not a lot of fuel, unfortunately.
Haven't caught some fresh trout in a while.
I think it could be the cold snap.
Hey, this is exciting.
It's the first snow.
A little bit more and we've got snow angels
and snowmen and snow fights.
It looks awesome. I love it.
In Sweden, when the first snow comes,
you get up in the morning and you go, "Yeah!"
Like, I just love running into first snow.
It's sort of cool to walk around
and there's some snow on the ground
and when you're walking it, it squeaks.
As soon as it comes in,
it just lifts the light a little bit.
It gets a little bit lighter.
It's still a bit of wet rain, so I've got to get in shelter.
Even though, like, it looks beautiful,
let's be real here.
Like, it's much more serious.
I need to get food and, like, snow makes it harder.
So, I've had two weeks now without any protein,
two weeks with tree fern fronds and a few berries.
Now I'm sitting in a situation,
the weather has been so cold
that not even the mice are out on camera.
So, trapping is sort of out for the moment,
where hunting had no luck.
And fishing is the most challenging concept.
Like, it is super high water.
Today I've got planned a whopper of a day.
Um, I plan to go and get some fern fronds.
Um, the reason I go is I only have two pieces of fern frond left
and they are two skinny pieces, which is hardly any food.
Um, and because I can't get anything else,
that's my only food source.
So, I have to go, no matter what.
Mud. For me to go and get the only food I can get,
tree fern fronds, it's 45 minutes each way.
It's a hard trip. You have to move slow.
You're tired.
Snow mixed with mud, mixed with wet logs...
..is a lethal combination.
Argh!
There's some good tree ferns,
I'll take a couple.
This is a big energy expenditure for me
and, to be honest, I don't even think the calories you get out of it
is worth the walk you're doing, right.
But what options do you have?
You either try or give up and I don't give up.
Fingertips are really cold,
just going to heat them up a little bit.
Get your hands in your armpits and just wait.
Might as well process these.
On face value, I don't think that a lot of my city friends
and acquaintances pick me as a hunter and gatherer.
But, then again, my hunter-gatherer friends
wouldn't pick me being a city person, modelling either.
I guess I've done alright.
Not bad for a model from Darlinghurst, right?
Alright, I think I'm done.
This should see me through to protein arrives.
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
So, I've been lying here for what?
The last three hours or so trying to fall asleep.
Yay!
Ha.
My brain is going a million miles an hour.
Just thinking about completely random stuff.
Thinking about...
..how much the average walking speed of humans
has increased over the last couple thousands of years
with the average increase in height of people.
Hm. Yeah.
If anyone's got any tips for how to slow the mind down out here...
..send smoke signals or something. Hm.
Didn't sleep much last night at all.
Again, mind races, can't sleep.
F is for fort.
I'm making a little sign for our shelter.
Something that says Fort Kick Ass.
I do feel tired.
Why am I finding it so hard to fall asleep here?
Yeah. When I was 11, I got diagnosed with ADHD.
And as most kids in what would've been the '90s,
and they got diagnosed with that,
it was straight off to the Ritalin.
And so it was on that for a couple of years
and that really turned me into a bit of a zombie.
Well, because I really didn't concentrate at school,
and with it, without it, I still didn't really concentrate.
I am more of a visual learner.
So, classes where it was more hands-on and stuff, I excelled at.
So, things like, ceramics, metalwork, woodwork, home economics,
loved those classes and did really well in those.
But stuff where I'm sitting in a classroom for, like, six hours
staring at a blackboard, no, no way. Not my way of learning.
So I found a way to cope and it works.
And there's definitely a bit of Aspy in there as well.
But, hey, this makes me more interesting.
I think that's part of the reason
why I really like the outdoors as well.
'Cause any skills you learn for the outdoors are all hands on.
Ah, could I just have an epiphany?
Lightning just struck my brain.
Well, that must have hurt.
Fort Kick Ass! Pretty chuffed with that.
Morning.
It's cold.
There was ice on everything this morning.
Maybe 'cause I'm losing weight,
but I'm just finding it harder and harder to stay warm.
I have zero to eat.
My belly is saying, "Come on, come on."
Fish were on, bam and hit me at once, then nothing.
I have to fish more.
There's something happening in my body,
there's this weakness that's just overcome me at the moment.
It's like my mind is just
a microsecond ahead of my body all the time now,
it's like I'm walking,
but I'm not quite keeping up
and the ledge is dangerous.
But I'm back to drinking lots of water
'cause every time I feel hungry, I just drink water.
You know, it's not just hunger,
it's not just doing without a few meals.
I'm starving!
Now, I know it's cold, fishios.
God, even if I saw a trout swim past,
I'd be happy at the moment.
Just tell me if I get a fish on, I'll wake up.
Oh, my God.
This big one just right in front of me.
Oh, my God, that was just...
Fuck!
Snapped her.
That was so freaking big.
Oh, fucking missed one.
Oh!
I knew it would be a good time to fish.
(SOBS)
I wanted to catch that thing and eat it.
I was so hungry.
Oh!
(SOBS) So hungry.
Well, I don't think I've felt quite as frustrated as this yet.
My patience is just so thin at the moment.
Like, so thin.
And I think it's just because I haven't got enough sugar
going in my brain and I'm just, argh, I'm hangry basically.
And just frustrated.
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
I've been fishing every day for a number of weeks now
with a number of lines in the water
with a few different sorts of lures.
Uh, no bites.
Doing a huge amount of foraging.
So, lots of berries, lots of supplejack shoots.
The agriculture's what I know and the foraging.
But it's just like, if I want to be here on day 80,
I need to get more food.
Um, so one thing popped into mind,
which was this sedge on this point right here behind me.
And I check that out today.
It may have viable seed in its head.
If it does, I'll be harvesting it.
Beautiful Sedge. This looks promising.
Yeah, that's got seed in it.
OK. These chunky ones are probably the female ones.
The seeds are actually a little green.
See those lovely, lovely seeds?
So that's carbohydrate, those seeds.
I think I'm starting to harvest them now.
It's just happening.
OK, let's do this. I'll just stick 'em in my pocket.
Collecting the seed at the end of the season is my job at home.
Harvesting the rocket seed and the kale seed and the parsley
and celery and tomato and pumpkin, that's what I do.
I'm the seed woman.
And the intelligence in a seed that then turns into a plant
that then fruits and that we can eat that fruit
and then save some of that seed for next year.
The seed is a miraculous thing.
Just separating the seed pod from the husk.
And you can see that the seed,
so the seed's, the green bit and the husk is the brown bit.
So, the seeds have come out of the husk.
So, we just want to be left with the little green seeds.
I'll be harvesting as much as I can and roasting it
and grinding it and making a sort of a carbohydrate.
This is so much more labour intensive
than any calories I might get out of it,
but I'm really enjoying myself, so...
Smells really good.
Smells like roasting sesame seed.
Mm, it's like a seeded biscuit.
So good. So good.
I think I should leave some for tomorrow.
Yeah, it's really good...
..if you're into grit.
Wow.
What a beautiful evening and I feel happy.
I started physically missing my pack,
missing the skin contact,
the silk and fur of Toby and Charlie...
..and the warmth of John's body.
I just really wanted that skin-on-skin touch,
contact with my pack.
I'm feeling lots of emotion coming up,
but I'm, I'm OK with that.
I feel, I feel strong still.
I thought I'd go to bed last night or yesterday afternoon
'cause I just, I didn't want to look after the fire.
I just, I just didn't want to do anything, to be honest.
Laying in bed for 15, 16 hours probably did my body good.
But don't know about the mental state
for the first time out here.
I feel like I've done a lifetime of therapy in one night,
but without support.
When I first met my husband,
I used to have these dreams, I call 'em shredded dreams
because it feels like I'm shredding up life.
And I figured, I put it down and still do put it down
to the trauma of being in the police force
and the things that...
..I did, things that I witnessed,
things that other people did, all of it.
And I was drinking pretty hard by then.
Anyway...
I haven't had those dreams for 10 years or so.
They, they, they stopped.
So, last night, I had one.
But...
..tenfold on the vividness.
And so...
..I don't need to get into graphics, trust me,
just take your worst nightmare ever,
wrap your family up in it and just play it out for hours.
Add a really good dash of helplessness...
..and then wake up...
..and not know where you are.
Last night was the first night I actually really got to...
..look inside the depths
of what's happened in my life.
And I don't want to run because I know...
..it's probably really good for me.
I've actually realised I have PTSD from the police force.
I didn't realise.
I probably should have got some help long, long ago.
No crazy old ride out here,
let me tell you.
Uh, I'm so laid up,
I can hardly move.
There's snow-covered alps around.
Thick white snow.
It was cold last night and I feel a bit cold now. So...
I've just got all the rain gear and all the stuff on
because I have a plan today.
I'm off for a little fishing trip.
Getting fish is getting to the point where it's...
You know,
that's gonna be the difference between me staying or leaving.
I did an explore trip a while back
where I walked up the river.
And there's a bit of a bush bash, to be honest.
But I saw a few big trunks
and then I ended up at this place which was really accessible
that had a big sand bank on it.
And there was like one sort of turbulent deep pool
that looked like it should hold fish.
We'll see. We'll see.
Almost there.
Getting protein is difficult right now.
Like, it's a crazy to think just a few weeks ago
I would see, you know, five to 10 of them cruising.
Alright, we just got a revelation.
I've just physically watched two pairs of trout spawning.
So, this is not post spawn, which I thought it was,
this is actually during spawn, which changes everything.
Fishing's gonna be seriously, seriously tough
because they're obviously not focusing on eating.
Now just across the river
in the water on the other side,
there is a self dead spawn trout...
..which I want to eat.
Now just where I am,
it's not very deep.
I can get over mid thigh,
so I'm gonna take my pants off,
walk over, grab the fish,
walk back over.
I'm hoping there's a fish.
It looks like a fish and I'm happy to eat that.
That's not a problem.
Here we go.
Oh. I haven't had food for so long
that even a self dead pawn trout is wanted.
So, I'm gonna take the risk.
I'm gonna say over here.
Oh, it's just...
..got to watch where you step on the rocks.
Get the holes.
Oh, shit.
Dammit.
It looks like there's a hole in between
and it's deeper than I want.
Deeper than I can go.
No, not worth the risk.
Oh!
Oh! Jesus!
And this one first, one second.
I misjudged it.
It's in front of that...
I meant to pass over in front of that triangular rock you see.
And the clear water makes it look like it's groin-deep,
but it's a big hole.
Like, I'm hungry, right? I want to eat.
But cold water and current is not a good combination.
And what would it mean if I didn't get it
is I'm hungry.
I'm here.
I can keep fighting.
If I fall in,
I'm home.
So I'm gonna head back.
Fishing wasn't that interesting,
but I found something wading.
I'll show you.
There's a deer print here.
Couple of hoof prints.
And you can see how they've got rain dripples in it.
So, I would say this is last night, not this morning.
Looks like one deer...
..but they didn't walk up here.
They continued out.
I don't know if you can see through the water.
Just pebbles there.
And that's deer poop.
Red deer poop.
So, that puts the question to me.
Is it worth just taking the bow and arrow
and just sit here?
Just in case?
I think so.
Alone Australia - powered by Kia.
It's the ultimate human endurance challenge.
The battle is on to survive alone
in the rugged New Zealand wilderness
with the winner taking home a prize worth $250,000.
Well, it's another day.
I've actually got quite a headache this morning.
Really late, falling asleep again.
And it just means I'm sleeping in later as well.
It's annoying. I'm quite tired.
I'm beyond tired. I'm exhausted.
Such is life,
as one criminal once said.
I mean, I do miss my family and I miss Erin.
She definitely gets me.
The most supportive person in my world and my best friend.
If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be on this adventure.
I'm just gonna climb in my sleeping bag
and try and sleep this headache off.
(GROANS)
Yeah, there is a bit of spinning
going from vertical to horizontal.
Oof.
Oh, man!
That vertigo.
(GROANS)
Uh, it's making me feel nauseous.
I hope I can shake the vertigo.
(GROANS)
I want to see how long I can last out here,
but between the headache and the lack of energy...
(GROANS)
..I don't think it'll be too much longer.
Well, I've got to say,
I feel like crap, physically.
I wouldn't be safe on a ledge.
I'm so tired, I can't get up.
(LAUGHS)
(SIGHS)
(GEESE QUACK IN DISTANCE)
Oh, my God, I haven't caught a bloody trout
in days and days.
I can hear the Canadian geese going crazy.
I swear I was thinking about shooting one.
It's just this whole...
..could I do it? Can I do it? Do I want to do it?
I haven't eaten meat for about eight years.
I think when I first came out here,
I decided that I wanted to try and stick to trout fishing.
I ruled out a lot of my food source by not hunting.
Ah!
To kill, not to kill.
I am gonna sit again,
maybe even with my bow and arrow,
down where they hang.
The geese are on my shore almost.
They're about two, three metres off.
They are plump!
Oh, my God.
I could just plop you with my arrow.
Oh, my God!
I don't know what's gonna happen,
if I will or not.
I just thought I'd come and put myself out of the torment.
It's like, there's so many things going around in my head.
I've noticed if you are not receiving healthy foods,
your body goes into defend mode, survival mode.
What do I do? Do I take one, stay a couple of days,
then do I start taking more and more,
stay longer,
doing something I don't really want to do?
(GOOSE QUACKS) Yeah, there you go.
I don't want to do it.
No, I don't want to do it.
(SNIFFLES)
I don't want to...
I don't want to kill it.
I'm not here just to kill, to stay longer.
What if I hurt it?
Oh, thank goodness!
I tried!
I can't.
I don't want to kill anything else.
I think I thought I was going to bring in a bit of my childhood
and, yeah,
bit of survival mode,
mix it all up and just...
..hunt, I think.
So, with that off my shoulders,
where do I go from here?
Alone Australia - powered by Kia.
It's the ultimate human endurance challenge.
The battle is on to survive alone
in the rugged New Zealand wilderness
with the winner taking home a prize worth $250,000.
Hey, it's Tamika. I'm officially tapping out.
MAN: How are you Tamika?
50-50.
But...
I know it's... I know it's time.
Can't push anymore.
So...
If the body gives out, the body gives out
and I don't want to hurt myself.
And I just thought
if I step on that ledge and I slip,
I probably won't get outta that water.
You gotta do what's right, I think, so...
For yourself and for your family.
So, it's the right decision.
I'm gonna miss it. (CHUCKLES)
But it's been...
It's been great. Yeah.
I am definitely happy with 53 days
because I think I've just done the best that I could do.
It's like safety first,
but the killing aspect's a very close second.
And killing's not part of me anymore.
You know, there's this need to feed,
but it's like my heart doesn't want to.
And I've just become someone who prefers not to kill animals.
I just want to hug my girls and my husband.
I can't wait.
I put them in the depths of my realm
to try and not think about 'em and then, yeah,
I can't wait.
I also believe I'm showing the girls
that there's not just one path in life.
If I can show them that I just gave it a crack
and gave it a go with all the things that I have,
then I'd be happy.
Got a bow and arrow.
Literally just gonna go
to the fishing area where I saw the footprint
and sit and wait.
Don't really want to get my hopes up,
but it looks like a big deer on the fence.
It could have been a stag.
It is quite hard to imagine that other people are doing this.
It's a tough gig, man.
It's a tough gig.
Mentally, it's probably one of the toughest things I've done.
I honestly think I need to rest,
but I still obviously want to win this thing.
It's never been my way of being passive
and just do the least amount of work.
Like, I'd rather go out guns blazing, you know?
It's just who I am. That's what I do.
I'm gonna continue fishing and hunting, trying to gather food,
do the best I can until I get sent home or I tap out.
(EXHALES)
Did not want to get up and out of bed today.
Headache's passed, thankfully.
Uh, the light-headedness is still there and um, yeah,
I think the vertigo is just malnutrition.
And the only way that's gonna get fixed
is with some actual food.
So, yeah...
I guess it's that time.
(PHONE BUTTONS BEEP)
It's ringing.
Hello? Yeah. Yeah.
This is Krzysztof and I am officially
ordering a pizza.
Half Aussie with onion, half Roscoe with chilli, please.
What do you mean, no?
OK. Worth a try.
And you thought I was gonna tap.
Not happening.
Only way I'm leaving is if it's a medical emergency,
the doctor says I'm unfit
or Erin's here and says, "We're going home."
I'm gonna enjoy some sunshine.
We're gonna catch some fish,
we're gonna eat some fish,
we're gonna feel good,
life will be good.
(GROANS)
This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
I'm not gonna tap out.
I'm gonna keep pushing as long as I can.
Hopefully something will come on.
Ah, the fire on the beach is pretty special.
I am grateful for a lot of things here.
I'm grateful for the firewood.
I'm grateful for the berries
and the supplejack shoots
and the sedge seed flower.
I'm grateful that I feel well and strong.
I don't think my reason's changed for being here.
I came here because I thought it was exciting to give it a go
to see how I could go
with my years of experience in the outdoors
and foraging and growing food
and understanding plants
and having a love for the more-than-human world.
And I would to, like, to bring home the $250,000 for our family.
Person who stays the longest...
Come on!
..wins.
I feel a bit unstable today.
I'm clumsy.
(GROANS)
If there's only one other person still out here,
I would just be handing them $250,000.
At this point in the game, it's why I'm still here.
Make no bones about it, that is why.
Every day is another day.
I surprised myself I've made it this far.
My body's giving out,
things are shutting down in order of least importance.
It's just gonna be, see how long I can last.
(RETCHES)
WOMAN: I'm sure you'll understand,
based on the symptoms that you're displaying...
..it is no longer safe medically for you to continue.
Captions by Red Bee Media (c) SBS Australia 2024