1
00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:25,360
MAN: The south island of New Zealand,
it's an epic place.

2
00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:33,840
It's wet, it's cold, it's snowy.

3
00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:39,080
If you don't respect the environment
here, it will slap you hard.

4
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:42,800
<font color="#ffff00">WOMAN: I just need</font>
<font color="#ffff00">to bring some food in.</font>

5
00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:44,280
<font color="#00ffff">MAN: Look at that stonker!</font>

6
00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:45,880
<font color="#ffff00">(WOMAN LAUGHS)</font>

7
00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,400
<font color="#00ff00">MAN: Last night there was deer</font>
<font color="#00ff00">all around me.</font>

8
00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:49,720
That's freakin' delicious.

9
00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:54,480
<font color="#ffff00">I know how tough it's going to be.</font>

10
00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:57,240
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, my God, I miss them. (SOBS)</font>

11
00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:03,280
<font color="#00ffff">You've gotta feel safe,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">otherwise you just die out here.</font>

12
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:06,040
<font color="#00ff00">It doesn't feel as bad as it looks,</font>
<font color="#00ff00">it feels worse.</font>

13
00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:07,880
This shit just got real.

14
00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:09,000
<font color="#ffff00">Jesus!</font>

15
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:12,320
<font color="#00ffff">I'm scared enough to have</font>
<font color="#00ffff">my emergency tap out in my hand.</font>

16
00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:17,280
The last person standing,
they take home $250,000.

17
00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:19,880
<font color="#00ffff">(MAN CRYING FRANTICALLY)</font>

18
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,800
<font color="#00ffff">Somebody help me!</font>

19
00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:32,360
<font color="#ffff00">The ledge. That's where</font>
<font color="#ffff00">it's happening every day.</font>

20
00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:34,400
<font color="#ffff00">I'm the luckiest person.</font>

21
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:37,560
<font color="#ffff00">When you can start saving food</font>
<font color="#ffff00">for future,</font>

22
00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:40,160
<font color="#ffff00">I don't know if it gets any better.</font>

23
00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:41,680
<font color="#00ff00">(WOOD SNAPS)</font>
<font color="#00ffff">Ishk!</font>

24
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:45,280
<font color="#00ffff">Feeling is hopeless.</font>
<font color="#00ffff">Haven't got any meat.</font>

25
00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:50,080
<font color="#ffff00">ANDREAS: I hate losing.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">I hate quitting. I just don't.</font>

26
00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:52,600
<font color="#ffff00">Finally, I can eat tonight.</font>

27
00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:55,280
<font color="#00ff00">Look at that. It's another eel.</font>

28
00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,120
<font color="#00ff00">(GROANS IN FRUSTRATION)</font>

29
00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:58,120
<font color="#00ff00">Oh, well.</font>

30
00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:01,800
<font color="#00ffff">(THUNDER CRACKS)</font>

31
00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,120
<font color="#ffff00">The temperature has dropped.</font>

32
00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:05,360
<font color="#ffff00">Could potentially</font>
<font color="#ffff00">be on the verge of hypothermia.</font>

33
00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:07,560
<font color="#00ffff">I have the choice,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">go home if I want to.</font>

34
00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:10,800
<font color="#00ff00">I just want this storm over.</font>

35
00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:13,040
Oh, my God!

36
00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:28,560
<font color="#00ffff">(THUNDER RUMBLES)</font>

37
00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:36,920
<font color="#00ffff">(RAIN PATTERS, WIND HOWLS)</font>

38
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:52,520
It sounds rough as guts
down there on the water front.

39
00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,400
<font color="#ffff00">It sounds like it's getting worse</font>
<font color="#ffff00">and not better.</font>

40
00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:09,680
<font color="#00ff00">Didn't realise how much I actually</font>
<font color="#00ff00">don't like storms in this setting,</font>

41
00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:12,320
<font color="#00ff00">when I'm very vulnerable.</font>

42
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:19,240
<font color="#00ffff">(WIND CONTINUES HOWLING)</font>

43
00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:30,920
<font color="#00ff00">It becomes this very real experience</font>
<font color="#00ff00">of possible injury or death.</font>

44
00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:47,160
This is the worst weather I've seen
since I got here.

45
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:48,680
This is horrendous.

46
00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:50,600
It hasn't really slowed down,

47
00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:55,680
it's been going between storms,
rain, sleet, hail.

48
00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:01,160
<font color="#00ffff">(THUNDER RUMBLES)</font>

49
00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,560
Jesus!

50
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,320
You don't kidding with this.

51
00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:10,840
This is like high winds,
close to zero.

52
00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:12,720
If I did not have a dry sleeping bag,

53
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:16,440
I would be going home,
I would not be here.

54
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:18,160
The weather is so bad

55
00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:22,440
that this is kind of weather
that send people home.

56
00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:23,640
100%.

57
00:04:31,280 --> 00:04:32,840
It just stopped raining for a second.

58
00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:35,760
I'm gonna pull the camera out there
to show you what I mean.

59
00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:46,840
Here's one thing I noticed.
This wasn't here before.

60
00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:49,280
That is a piece of dead fall

61
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:52,200
that's just gone in
and speared into the ground.

62
00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:59,400
This is down my stairs,
going up to my shelter,

63
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,320
pouring down on the beach

64
00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:05,240
on the other side of the lake,
pretty far away.

65
00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:08,680
But there's literally
a gushing waterfall

66
00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:11,160
coming out straight out
of a mountain.

67
00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:12,680
That is ridiculous.

68
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:15,880
There's swell and white caps
going on.

69
00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:18,760
Here comes the hail.

70
00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:28,600
Oh, I was only out
for a short while,

71
00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:32,120
and literally
I am chilled to the bone.

72
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:40,360
In a survival situation
or an experience like this,

73
00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:42,600
you've gotta be smart.

74
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:47,880
And there comes a time when
the smart thing is to be passive.

75
00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:51,880
And that is today for me.

76
00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:04,800
<font color="#ffff00">I'm just catching a runoff</font>
<font color="#ffff00">off the tent</font>

77
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,320
<font color="#ffff00">instead of running down to the...</font>

78
00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:08,240
<font color="#ffff00">..running down to the creek</font>
<font color="#ffff00">all the time.</font>

79
00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:23,800
<font color="#ffff00">So, I've climbed back</font>
<font color="#ffff00">into my sleeping bag</font>

80
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:28,600
<font color="#ffff00">after doing a few jobs</font>
<font color="#ffff00">around the shelter.</font>

81
00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:35,240
<font color="#ffff00">I'm finding it really hard</font>
<font color="#ffff00">to maintain my body heat now.</font>

82
00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:41,360
<font color="#ffff00">I've got my sleeping bag,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">which is minus 10.</font>

83
00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:44,400
<font color="#ffff00">I've got my oil skin coat,</font>

84
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:48,280
<font color="#ffff00">which is sort of wrapped around</font>
<font color="#ffff00">most of my sleeping bag.</font>

85
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:51,160
<font color="#ffff00">Um...</font>

86
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:55,960
<font color="#ffff00">It's got a mild dampness to it.</font>

87
00:06:55,960 --> 00:07:00,160
<font color="#ffff00">I wouldn't say I'm wet,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">but I'm mildly damp.</font>

88
00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:01,960
<font color="#ffff00">I think a lot of it...</font>

89
00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:07,320
<font color="#ffff00">I think a lot of it, my warmth is</font>
<font color="#ffff00">due to, I suppose, losing body fat.</font>

90
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:13,880
<font color="#ffff00">And, yeah, minimal food intake.</font>

91
00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:22,720
<font color="#ffff00">Just feel like it's more difficult</font>
<font color="#ffff00">now to maintain my body heat.</font>

92
00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:40,880
The thunder last night
was incredible.

93
00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:45,800
I've never heard thunder
go for as long as that thunder did.

94
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:52,720
It's a good little shelter,
no rain came in last night.

95
00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,240
(COUGHS)

96
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,200
I haven't got any wet spots

97
00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:01,800
apart from the general dampness
of the ground, anyway.

98
00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:04,200
It's very protected.

99
00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:07,840
Even when the big gusts of winds
were coming through.

100
00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:08,920
<font color="#00ff00">(THUNDER RUMBLES)</font>

101
00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:10,600
More thunder.

102
00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:15,960
Wow, this storm's just going on
and on and on.

103
00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:31,760
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, my God,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">there's like pools of water.</font>

104
00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:33,840
<font color="#ffff00">It's like the water has risen.</font>

105
00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:42,440
<font color="#ffff00">Imagine if I can't fish the ledge.</font>

106
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,520
<font color="#ffff00">What the hell then?</font>

107
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:53,400
<font color="#ffff00">OK, I just gotta go to the toilet.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Hang in there.</font>

108
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:08,160
<font color="#ffff00">Like, you just anticipate</font>
<font color="#ffff00">the whole lot just taking off.</font>

109
00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:14,200
<font color="#ffff00">(GROANS)</font>

110
00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:25,000
<font color="#ffff00">Soup for breakfast.</font>

111
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,480
<font color="#ffff00">There's worse things</font>
<font color="#ffff00">that can happen,</font>

112
00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:30,840
<font color="#ffff00">because I'm sitting by the fire,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">eating trout.</font>

113
00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:33,840
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, yeah.</font>

114
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:39,480
<font color="#ffff00">To have food</font>
<font color="#ffff00">on such a cold and blustery day.</font>

115
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:47,520
<font color="#ffff00">There's little moments where I go,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">"Tamika, just...just go home."</font>

116
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:52,120
<font color="#ffff00">But there's already this</font>
<font color="#ffff00">little thing inside of me that says,</font>

117
00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:54,080
<font color="#ffff00">"This is a little home."</font>

118
00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:01,040
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, I can feel it</font>
<font color="#ffff00">warming up my belly.</font>

119
00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:10,440
<font color="#ffff00">Mmm!</font>

120
00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:14,200
<font color="#ffff00">Man.</font>

121
00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:22,520
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, you always feel better</font>
<font color="#ffff00">with a big belly full, don't you?</font>

122
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,480
<font color="#00ff00">(CRACKING)</font>

123
00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:32,080
<font color="#ffff00">Fuck.</font>

124
00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:36,240
<font color="#ffff00">Did you hear that?</font>

125
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:43,120
<font color="#ffff00">Had to be a tree,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">but it sounded like rocks as well.</font>

126
00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:46,240
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, my God, my heart.</font>

127
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:08,800
Definitely missing food. Yeah.

128
00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:11,280
Just lying in this sleeping bag,
thinking,

129
00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:13,200
"Oh, yeah, I'll just get up,
go to the fridge

130
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:14,880
"and get myself something to eat."

131
00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:17,880
And then I go, "Oh, no, I can't."

132
00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:23,560
It was a lot worse off earlier on.

133
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,160
I could be completely wrong,

134
00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:29,040
but I'd say it'd be like similar
to an addiction, almost.

135
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:30,280
An addiction to food.

136
00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:36,640
Like, when you stop eating,
initially the body craves it

137
00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:39,560
and really, really wants it,
and then you feel it.

138
00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:44,120
And then hunger sort of
just dissipates a little bit

139
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,320
and so on and so on.

140
00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:49,840
Like, if there was a big slice of
choccy cake in front of me right now,

141
00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:52,360
I'd be like, "Yeah, whatever."

142
00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:54,480
But the second I took a bite of it,
I'm like,

143
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:57,160
"Oh, my God, I'm gonna eat
this whole thing right now."

144
00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:02,760
Hm. Food is my crack.

145
00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:36,800
<font color="#ffff00">It is a colder day today.</font>

146
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:39,480
<font color="#ffff00">I feel the weather's starting</font>
<font color="#ffff00">to break, which is good.</font>

147
00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:43,440
<font color="#ffff00">We've definitely got a good</font>
<font color="#ffff00">powder coating of snow.</font>

148
00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:45,720
<font color="#ffff00">It'll keep the skiers happy,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">I'm sure.</font>

149
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,920
<font color="#ffff00">Pretty to look at, but it makes it</font>
<font color="#ffff00">cold down here at lake level.</font>

150
00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:51,200
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, quite cold.</font>

151
00:12:57,040 --> 00:13:00,160
<font color="#ffff00">This northern end of the shelter,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">I'm gonna have to close that off.</font>

152
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:03,440
<font color="#ffff00">Prevent the water coming in</font>
<font color="#ffff00">at the bottom of my bag</font>

153
00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:05,120
<font color="#ffff00">underneath this cover.</font>

154
00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:06,560
<font color="#ffff00">It's dampish.</font>

155
00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:10,760
<font color="#ffff00">Feet and sleep</font>
<font color="#ffff00">are my two biggest concerns.</font>

156
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:13,320
<font color="#ffff00">And I'm glad I got a bit of sleep</font>
<font color="#ffff00">this morning.</font>

157
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:17,320
<font color="#ffff00">Um, my feet are cold now.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">My hands are cold now.</font>

158
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:22,880
<font color="#ffff00">So, making sure my feet don't get</font>
<font color="#ffff00">any worse is of a concern to me.</font>

159
00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:28,200
<font color="#ffff00">This will keep the bulk of that</font>
<font color="#ffff00">spray off the bottom of my bag.</font>

160
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:31,520
<font color="#ffff00">And, yeah, I'll be...</font>
<font color="#ffff00">I'll be happy with that.</font>

161
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:39,360
<font color="#ffff00">I wouldn't mind</font>
<font color="#ffff00">getting a fire going.</font>

162
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:43,720
<font color="#ffff00">Got things that I want to get over</font>
<font color="#ffff00">the fire and start drying it out.</font>

163
00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:50,440
<font color="#ffff00">You have a best friend out here.</font>

164
00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:52,280
<font color="#ffff00">You can cook my food.</font>

165
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,680
<font color="#ffff00">What's that, you say?</font>

166
00:13:57,680 --> 00:13:59,120
<font color="#ffff00">Food?</font>

167
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,320
<font color="#ffff00">You haven't seen much of it? No.</font>

168
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:04,080
<font color="#ffff00">No, no.</font>

169
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:05,720
<font color="#ffff00">Maybe we can talk about that.</font>

170
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:11,400
<font color="#ffff00">The plan is to provide you</font>
<font color="#ffff00">with more food to cook me.</font>

171
00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:16,480
<font color="#ffff00">Being cold and wet</font>
<font color="#ffff00">with body fat basically gone</font>

172
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:19,080
<font color="#ffff00">presents its own set of challenges.</font>

173
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,440
<font color="#ffff00">I'm gonna be very careful here,</font>

174
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:32,840
<font color="#ffff00">but my intention is to attempt</font>
<font color="#ffff00">to take out the dampness</font>
<font color="#ffff00">in my sleeping bag.</font>

175
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:38,640
<font color="#ffff00">Having my feet get cold</font>

176
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:45,400
<font color="#ffff00">and taking what seems like hours</font>
<font color="#ffff00">to warm up,</font>

177
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:48,480
<font color="#ffff00">possibly four, five hours,</font>

178
00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:50,640
<font color="#ffff00">um, is a bit of a concern.</font>

179
00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:01,280
<font color="#ffff00">I really gotta stay on top</font>
<font color="#ffff00">of keeping gear dry.</font>

180
00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:03,760
<font color="#ffff00">'Cause you can end up with frostbite</font>

181
00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:08,200
<font color="#ffff00">and then that's serious,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">that's medical evacuation.</font>

182
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:12,640
<font color="#ffff00">You can lose portions of your toes,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">whole toes.</font>

183
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,120
<font color="#ffff00">You see images of people</font>
<font color="#ffff00">losing half their foot.</font>

184
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:22,080
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, I can see moisture</font>
<font color="#ffff00">coming outta my bag.</font>

185
00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:24,640
<font color="#ffff00">Either that</font>
<font color="#ffff00">or it's about to burst into flames.</font>

186
00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:28,480
<font color="#ffff00">I don't like things</font>
<font color="#ffff00">being out of my control.</font>

187
00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:30,480
<font color="#ffff00">So what is in my control?</font>

188
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:32,480
<font color="#ffff00">Continue staying dry.</font>

189
00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:36,440
<font color="#ffff00">Continue hunting,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">continue getting lines in the water,</font>

190
00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:39,640
<font color="#ffff00">continuing to visit the Why?</font>

191
00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:43,240
<font color="#ffff00">Why am I here?</font>
<font color="#ffff00">What is I want out of it?</font>

192
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:45,920
<font color="#ffff00">Achieve things for me and my family</font>

193
00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:48,840
<font color="#ffff00">that I haven't been able</font>
<font color="#ffff00">to achieve before.</font>

194
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:50,560
<font color="#ffff00">You wanna make 'em proud.</font>

195
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:58,120
<font color="#ffff00">That's probably not what</font>
<font color="#ffff00">the manufacturer would recommend,</font>

196
00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,600
<font color="#ffff00">but, hey,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">the manufacturer's not here.</font>

197
00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:06,080
<font color="#ffff00">He's probably sitting</font>
<font color="#ffff00">in a cosy office.</font>

198
00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:36,480
That was two days
of absolutely horrendous weather.

199
00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:45,720
Good thing with this,

200
00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:49,320
most things you do, you go away,

201
00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:51,600
you end up getting fatter.

202
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:52,960
And then you get back to the gym

203
00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:54,920
and you're like,
"Oh, now I gotta work it off."

204
00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:58,720
But this one,
you're gonna come back skinny.

205
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,640
I think my abs are coming back.

206
00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:04,840
Let's have a look.

207
00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:07,880
Get out into the sun.

208
00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:12,080
Let's have a look.

209
00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:17,840
I was 112 with clothes going in...

210
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:28,840
..and I don't have too much fat left.

211
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,320
Obviously I'm getting skinnier,

212
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:36,360
losing weight a little bit too fast
for my own liking.

213
00:17:36,360 --> 00:17:41,480
Goal for now is gonna be to sustain
my weight as long as I can.

214
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:45,600
I need to get more food in.
I have no food.

215
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:50,440
And it's...it's...it's...it's like
a stressful part that you go,

216
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:52,960
"I have no food.
I don't know what to do."

217
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:55,640
Hunting, I don't think
is a valid option

218
00:17:55,640 --> 00:18:02,400
if there isn't enough deer to waste
the time and effort and energy.

219
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:04,080
Fishing is on hold.

220
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:10,200
The weather and the water levels are
fighting me so hard. It's annoying.

221
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:16,120
I've seen a couple of mice around,
and possum.

222
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:23,920
This is my future protein supply.

223
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:30,760
So, today - trapping.

224
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:32,400
(SIGHS)

225
00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:36,840
It's time to finish off
the little mouse trap.

226
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:39,880
Or finish off...
I shouldn't say alter.

227
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:43,120
Split a log in four...

228
00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:50,480
..so they match up
and then you split out the middle.

229
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:53,120
That's my canister.

230
00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:56,640
I think I have to bevel edge this.

231
00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:01,280
I think bevelled edge, yes,
in itself.

232
00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:08,640
Easily bevelled, so it don't
get caught and slide up and down.

233
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,480
Snug it up as much as needed.

234
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:30,120
That worked.

235
00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:35,080
So, that log, I've had both
the possum and mouse out there,

236
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:37,400
so I think that's a good location.

237
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:41,160
That should do it.

238
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:44,440
It'd be hilarious
if this is a good food source.

239
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:47,720
Find a good bait
and I can do a mouse a day, you know.

240
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:54,560
I loaded up the bait stick
with a piece of a gill.

241
00:19:54,560 --> 00:20:00,000
It's set for tonight, so it'd be fun
to see tomorrow if it went off,

242
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,920
if the mouse checked it out
or whatever.

243
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:30,200
I am pretty chuffed
at how everything held up.

244
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:36,720
Yeah, overall, life is good.

245
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,680
I did hear a couple of limbs falling.

246
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:43,000
Yeah, we had this tree here.

247
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:46,400
Yeah, so I was just a bit paranoid
about one of those guys going.

248
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:53,600
The only one that fell
near the shelter was this one here.

249
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:59,320
And that's near the shelter.
Not on the shelter.

250
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:03,840
Yeah, I think the shelter location
that we chose was pretty good.

251
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:08,040
The only thing that I might do
is insulate some of the roof.

252
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:10,760
You can see
there's plenty of leaf litter

253
00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:12,360
and plenty of deadfall to use.

254
00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:15,640
Oh, there's a few nice straight ones
over here.

255
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:20,080
Where shall we start? This one
over here? Or that one over there?

256
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:22,120
I'll start with this one over here.

257
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:27,720
Go back for that one.

258
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:32,560
Cross beams along here.

259
00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:37,080
And on top of that we'll collect up
all the leaf litter and stuff

260
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:38,960
and just stack it on top.

261
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:40,400
Give it some insulation.

262
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,600
It will also prevent
everything from shaking so much.

263
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:50,400
Be all toasty warm inside our cabin.

264
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:54,560
Like, something that would make me
tap out is my shelter collapsed

265
00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:59,120
or I got a big tear in my canopy
and my sleeping bag got wet.

266
00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:01,120
That's gonna be a tap out for me

267
00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:03,520
because I'm not gonna be able
to stay warm.

268
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:05,680
It's, yeah, a no-brainer.

269
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:09,560
Because I am very much
a creature of comfort at home,

270
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:14,200
and being out on the land,
comfort's a very important factor.

271
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:18,240
So, I am turning my home
into my little slice of paradise

272
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:21,040
that makes me comfortable.

273
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:24,520
And I feel that being comfortable
is the key to winning.

274
00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:29,400
Two-minute breather.

275
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:38,000
I am focusing on foraging,
because plants don't run away,

276
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:41,440
so it'll be easier
to get those pesky plants.

277
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:44,080
Oh, that's what we're looking for.

278
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:47,160
(GROANS)

279
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:49,840
This bad boy.

280
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:54,320
He's not very delicious,
but he's definitely edible.

281
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:01,800
Hope there's a bit
of nutritional value in this,

282
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:02,960
because...

283
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:06,680
..definitely not enjoying
the process.

284
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:08,840
I'm eating a lot of greens,

285
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:11,760
but I haven't really found
overly palatable.

286
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:14,880
It does taste familiar.

287
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:17,680
Actually, you know what
it tastes like? Raw green beans.

288
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:24,040
(SING) £ I'm making
herring tongue soup. £

289
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,560
Been looking for horopito.

290
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:29,320
Just wondering if that might be it.

291
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:30,800
The leaves look right.

292
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:34,320
Let's see if it's peppery.

293
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:40,960
(SINGS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

294
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:47,680
Nothing special,
but it's better than nothing.

295
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:49,560
I really don't like it.

296
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:52,960
I'm used to eating meat
with most meals.

297
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:56,160
But if vegans can do it,

298
00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:58,080
I can do it for a little while.

299
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:03,640
Yeah, I think I'd quite happily
be back at home now

300
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,520
and just chilling on the couch,
watching something,

301
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:08,000
and eating some comfort food.

302
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,480
But I'm not gonna waste
this opportunity.

303
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:13,440
We'll see how long
the willpower stays.

304
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:15,240
We got this.

305
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:18,880
It's not even about the money.

306
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:21,080
It's more about to see
what my personal strength is.

307
00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:24,440
See how...how long I can last.

308
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:27,160
It'd be good to know.

309
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:30,960
In the back of my head,

310
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:35,200
"I've always been saying 100 days.
Let's try 100 days. That'd be nice."

311
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:51,720
<font color="#ffff00">Give the nose a clean.</font>

312
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:55,560
<font color="#ffff00">Let's go chase some fish!</font>

313
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:03,240
<font color="#ffff00">I'm trying to remain focused</font>
<font color="#ffff00">on the task of feeding myself.</font>

314
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:09,000
<font color="#ffff00">I don't let myself settle too much,</font>

315
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:12,960
<font color="#ffff00">because I think I've worked out</font>
<font color="#ffff00">when I stop,</font>

316
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:17,240
<font color="#ffff00">that's when, you know,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">I start really missing my family.</font>

317
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:23,640
<font color="#ffff00">I know you're perusing.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">I know you're here now.</font>

318
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:31,640
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, aye! Diyah!</font>

319
00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:34,240
<font color="#ffff00">I lost him.</font>

320
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:37,080
<font color="#ffff00">Got a little rush of adrenaline.</font>

321
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:43,360
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, my heart is still pounding.</font>

322
00:25:43,360 --> 00:25:45,880
<font color="#ffff00">I can remember, as a police officer,</font>

323
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:49,720
<font color="#ffff00">when you get into</font>
<font color="#ffff00">a high-speed pursuit</font>

324
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:52,600
<font color="#ffff00">or you're chasing a car</font>
<font color="#ffff00">or something,</font>

325
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:54,960
<font color="#ffff00">it was like when you're on the radio</font>

326
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:58,000
<font color="#ffff00">and you're trying to give directions</font>
<font color="#ffff00">of where you are</font>
<font color="#ffff00">and what's happening,</font>

327
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:01,200
<font color="#ffff00">it's like you're trying to remain</font>
<font color="#ffff00">so calm,</font>

328
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:07,000
<font color="#ffff00">and yet on the inside you just wanna</font>
<font color="#ffff00">vomit and your heart is racing.</font>

329
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:11,000
<font color="#ffff00">To be honest,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">that's a little bit how I feel here.</font>

330
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:15,120
<font color="#ffff00">It's like I'm enjoying the morning,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">I'm acting all calm,</font>

331
00:26:15,120 --> 00:26:20,120
<font color="#ffff00">but on the inside there's this</font>
<font color="#ffff00">anticipation just waiting.</font>

332
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:24,960
<font color="#ffff00">I actually joined the police force</font>
<font color="#ffff00">to help people.</font>

333
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:27,640
<font color="#ffff00">It was an absolute eye opener</font>
<font color="#ffff00">for my age</font>

334
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:29,640
<font color="#ffff00">and my lack of experience, probably.</font>

335
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:32,400
<font color="#ffff00">Back then, the only way</font>
<font color="#ffff00">I knew how to help myself</font>

336
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:34,800
<font color="#ffff00">was to drink and forget.</font>

337
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:37,800
<font color="#ffff00">Pretty certain</font>
<font color="#ffff00">you could've called me an alcoholic.</font>

338
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:41,760
<font color="#ffff00">I just lived for work and drink.</font>

339
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:44,440
<font color="#ffff00">But I know I'm on top of it now.</font>

340
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:46,960
<font color="#ffff00">That's just not me, you know?</font>

341
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:01,800
<font color="#ffff00">Oh!</font>

342
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:06,560
<font color="#ffff00">Oh.</font>

343
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:20,160
<font color="#ffff00">Damn! (LAUGHS)</font>

344
00:27:21,360 --> 00:27:23,640
<font color="#ffff00">Now, I thought I better get</font>
<font color="#ffff00">the camera for this one.</font>

345
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:27,560
<font color="#ffff00">I didn't realise he was so big.</font>

346
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:30,560
<font color="#ffff00">He's my biggest by far.</font>

347
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:33,320
<font color="#ffff00">64 centimetres.</font>

348
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:36,320
<font color="#ffff00">Man!</font>

349
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:41,360
<font color="#ffff00">Ah, for every man that ever doubted</font>
<font color="#ffff00">my skill in that tackle shop</font>

350
00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:43,920
<font color="#ffff00">years and years and years ago,</font>

351
00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:46,840
<font color="#ffff00">paying off now, isn't it?</font>

352
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:50,840
<font color="#ffff00">Who would've thought?</font>

353
00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:57,200
<font color="#ffff00">(GRUNTS)</font>

354
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:01,560
<font color="#ffff00">Cooking my beautiful trout.</font>

355
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:04,440
<font color="#ffff00">Let's have just a little squiz</font>
<font color="#ffff00">at him.</font>

356
00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:08,920
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, my God! It's a whole pot.</font>

357
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:12,280
<font color="#ffff00">It's a whole freaking pot.</font>

358
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:17,080
<font color="#ffff00">I just think I've come across</font>
<font color="#ffff00">what it needs to win this thing.</font>

359
00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:20,360
<font color="#ffff00">Do less, catch more. That's it.</font>

360
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,520
<font color="#ffff00">I'm feeling really good.</font>

361
00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:31,200
<font color="#ffff00">I realised I have really missed</font>
<font color="#ffff00">this way of living.</font>

362
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:32,200
<font color="#ffff00">Mmm!</font>

363
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:35,560
<font color="#ffff00">And if it wasn't for family,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">I wouldn't go back.</font>

364
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:36,840
<font color="#ffff00">(LAUGHS)</font>

365
00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:39,960
<font color="#ffff00">You could come if you want to.</font>

366
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:44,200
<font color="#ffff00">Come, come with me to the wilds...</font>

367
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:47,840
<font color="#ffff00">..where the good things happen.</font>

368
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:07,920
The old moustache is growing.
I can feel it getting into the mouth.

369
00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:11,440
Got no idea what I look like.

370
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:15,080
'Scary' is probably the word
that comes to mind.

371
00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:19,000
Yeah. So I got myself sorted.

372
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:23,880
I've got my backpack
with fishing gear,

373
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:25,800
essential items.

374
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:30,400
And I'll make my way
around to the river mouth.

375
00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:37,520
It's four weeks
since I've landed a trout.

376
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:40,000
That I find odd.

377
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:44,080
Now, if I'd never fished before,
I would say, can't fish.

378
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:47,080
You know, don't know how to fish.

379
00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:51,160
So, I've changed up the scenario,
the hooks, the baits,

380
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:53,960
the weather as much as I could,

381
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:57,800
and still only one trout
in four weeks.

382
00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:03,200
So, the only thing I can think
of doing is making my way around

383
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:07,520
to the river mouth where I've got
more substantial water running out.

384
00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:10,640
Be a good head space thing too.
Different environment.

385
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:12,600
Beautiful location. Stunning views.

386
00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:16,400
Yeah. See how we go.

387
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:18,720
See if we can't land a fish.

388
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:39,280
Oh, these midges, these sand flies.

389
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:48,280
Namu, whatever you want to call 'em,
they are relentless.

390
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:50,320
That's a challenge,
keeping it together.

391
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:54,040
I can call it here, you know?

392
00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:59,280
I think they'd get even the most
hardened Buddhist monk to crack.

393
00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:05,480
I'm going to be scratching
like a demon possessed

394
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:09,480
and that'll keep me awake and
it'll set me back in my head space.

395
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:11,480
And I don't need that.

396
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:16,240
Sand flies, give me a break
for one fucking minute!

397
00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:33,880
<font color="#ffff00">(SINGS) £ Sandstone cliffs are</font>
<font color="#ffff00">glowing purple in the evening light</font>

398
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:45,160
<font color="#ffff00">£ Kangaroos are grazing and there's</font>
<font color="#ffff00">an eagle in flight calling me home</font>

399
00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:50,800
<font color="#ffff00">£ Calling me home. £</font>

400
00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:58,600
<font color="#ffff00">There's my little doggy stones</font>
<font color="#ffff00">I'm gonna talk to each night...</font>

401
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:05,960
<font color="#ffff00">..and tell the doggies,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">"Keep your dad warm.</font>

402
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:09,480
<font color="#ffff00">"And don't fight with each other."</font>

403
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:13,920
<font color="#ffff00">I'll see you soon enough, hey?</font>

404
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:32,880
<font color="#ffff00">I look forward to seeing John</font>
<font color="#ffff00">and the little doggies,</font>

405
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:34,480
<font color="#ffff00">Charlie and Toby.</font>

406
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:47,320
<font color="#ffff00">I so wanted to have children</font>
<font color="#ffff00">with John.</font>

407
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:55,040
<font color="#ffff00">And we tried for six years from</font>
<font color="#ffff00">when I was 34 to when I was 40.</font>

408
00:32:55,040 --> 00:33:03,000
<font color="#ffff00">And I just felt such incredible</font>
<font color="#ffff00">grief around not having children.</font>

409
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:11,880
<font color="#ffff00">I so wanted to have them</font>
<font color="#ffff00">with all of my being.</font>

410
00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:15,280
<font color="#ffff00">At least one, possibly two.</font>

411
00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:24,600
<font color="#ffff00">I imagined them for that six years</font>
<font color="#ffff00">that we were trying to conceive.</font>

412
00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:29,800
<font color="#ffff00">I just imagined the child being born</font>

413
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:32,960
<font color="#ffff00">and seeing myself and John</font>
<font color="#ffff00">in that child.</font>

414
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:34,120
<font color="#ffff00">And...</font>

415
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:38,920
<font color="#ffff00">And it was just this agony.</font>

416
00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:50,120
<font color="#ffff00">So, there's just so much to it.</font>

417
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:56,240
<font color="#ffff00">Then there's the concerns about</font>
<font color="#ffff00">what will I do when I'm really old,</font>

418
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:58,880
<font color="#ffff00">when there's no-one to help</font>
<font color="#ffff00">take care of me</font>

419
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:02,160
<font color="#ffff00">when I become vulnerable</font>
<font color="#ffff00">and need that family around me?</font>

420
00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:17,520
<font color="#ffff00">There's been this ongoing</font>
<font color="#ffff00">internal process of dealing with...</font>

421
00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:19,440
<font color="#ffff00">..with grief and loss.</font>

422
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:21,960
<font color="#ffff00">And I think that's, in itself,</font>

423
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:25,720
<font color="#ffff00">a resilience which will lend itself</font>
<font color="#ffff00">to this experience.</font>

424
00:34:25,720 --> 00:34:27,760
<font color="#ffff00">For me now, it's sort of boiled down</font>

425
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:30,240
<font color="#ffff00">to really wanting</font>
<font color="#ffff00">to be the last person</font>

426
00:34:30,240 --> 00:34:35,400
<font color="#ffff00">and bring home that $250,000</font>
<font color="#ffff00">for the family.</font>

427
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:43,600
<font color="#ffff00">Moving into our old age,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">to have that financial security,</font>

428
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:46,160
<font color="#ffff00">which we don't yet have.</font>

429
00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:49,480
<font color="#ffff00">I would so like to be able</font>
<font color="#ffff00">to gift that to John.</font>

430
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:00,920
Oh.

431
00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:05,440
I got like a head rush and felt
like I was gonna drop and it's like,

432
00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:07,640
ooh, you know?

433
00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:08,880
I mean, I've gone...

434
00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:12,080
Like, in the military,
you go through days on end

435
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:14,280
where you don't get fed,

436
00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:15,560
but this is prolonged.

437
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:21,040
This is by far the longest I've gone
without substantial food.

438
00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:29,760
But, yeah, it's an eye-opener

439
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:31,560
and it's...

440
00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:34,520
it's hitting the body pretty,
pretty heavy.

441
00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:41,120
I need to... You need to get a fire,
go and get a warm brew into me.

442
00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:42,760
Just depleted of energy.

443
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:47,600
I dunno if...

444
00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:52,640
I don't know if a warm brew
will make a difference.

445
00:36:55,240 --> 00:36:58,480
Funny, I had a dream
about two nights ago.

446
00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:03,760
It was a girl being interviewed
who pulled the pin, she tapped out.

447
00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:07,000
And watching her being interviewed,

448
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:14,840
how upset and traumatised she was
in the interview for tapping early.

449
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:17,320
Just going,
"I can't believe that I didn't stop

450
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:19,520
"and think about it
before I'd done it."

451
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:23,280
You know, it's like now I've done it.
I've blown an opportunity.

452
00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:26,800
These opportunities
only come once in a lifetime.

453
00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:30,440
Yeah, she was grief stricken.

454
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:34,240
And that was...it was a pretty
powerful dream to have.

455
00:37:34,240 --> 00:37:36,240
As an awakener, I suppose,

456
00:37:36,240 --> 00:37:39,720
we don't get to choose the obstacles

457
00:37:39,720 --> 00:37:43,360
and the challenges and things
necessarily put in front of us,

458
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:46,600
but we do get to choose
how we react to them.

459
00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:52,040
What I've realised is stay away
from my testing grounds.

460
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:56,400
You know, if over there is gonna be
bad for midges and sand flies,

461
00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:58,360
don't go there.

462
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:02,160
Don't go to your testing grounds

463
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:06,240
and put your head space
in that compromising position.

464
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:13,040
I know my wife would be saying,
"Keep going, Rickster.

465
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:15,480
"You're doing well, darling.
Keep going."

466
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:22,400
Yeah, she's my greatest supporter.

467
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:24,400
I miss my darling Nell.

468
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:30,960
In her letter to me that she wrote me
coming out here,

469
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:35,440
I didn't read it until the day before
I was due to come out bush,

470
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:37,480
to the land.

471
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:41,400
And in amongst it
was some beautiful wording,

472
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:44,360
but it said,
"Rick, when things get difficult,

473
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:45,960
"just listen to your heart,

474
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:48,120
"and your heart's
where the answers are."

475
00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:54,280
And, um, she's right.

476
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:57,080
Sometimes it's just hard
to interpret your heart.

477
00:38:58,160 --> 00:39:00,640
One part of your heart says,
sort of says,

478
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:04,600
"Hey, Rick, you can be back home
with your darling."

479
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:11,200
But it's like my heart also says,
"Rick, you can do more.

480
00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:13,080
"Keep pushing through."

481
00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:48,520
<font color="#ffff00">Take a long time to eat this frond.</font>

482
00:39:53,760 --> 00:40:01,600
<font color="#ffff00">Gotta spend the time to cook them,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">cut them, clean them, chew them...</font>

483
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:04,280
<font color="#ffff00">..spit 'em out.</font>

484
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:07,000
<font color="#ffff00">Rinse your mouth.</font>

485
00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:13,760
<font color="#ffff00">These tree fern fronds</font>
<font color="#ffff00">are keeping me alive</font>

486
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:16,280
<font color="#ffff00">but not doing much more than that.</font>

487
00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:21,200
<font color="#ffff00">My body would love some fat</font>
<font color="#ffff00">and protein into my diet.</font>

488
00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:27,880
<font color="#ffff00">I had this idea</font>
<font color="#ffff00">that fishing and hunting</font>

489
00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:30,520
<font color="#ffff00">would be my way to sustain myself.</font>

490
00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:33,720
<font color="#ffff00">It's a tough gig, this thing.</font>

491
00:40:33,720 --> 00:40:36,280
<font color="#ffff00">Let me get some pieces for tomorrow.</font>

492
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:37,560
<font color="#ffff00">There's mice,</font>

493
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:41,440
<font color="#ffff00">but I haven't even had them check,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">like, sniff into the trap.</font>

494
00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:43,200
<font color="#ffff00">And there's fish in there.</font>

495
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:45,120
<font color="#ffff00">Like, they should smell it.</font>

496
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:49,160
<font color="#ffff00">I had them walk past the trap.</font>

497
00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:52,120
<font color="#ffff00">It's an interesting scenario.</font>

498
00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:01,520
<font color="#ffff00">Let's go and check that trail camp.</font>

499
00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:08,320
<font color="#ffff00">A mouse, a rat,</font>

500
00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:11,720
<font color="#ffff00">anything like that would mean</font>
<font color="#ffff00">the world to me right now.</font>

501
00:41:11,720 --> 00:41:13,480
<font color="#ffff00">I'd feel I have...</font>

502
00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:16,040
<font color="#ffff00">..I'm back on the game again.</font>

503
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:24,200
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, it's a giant rat</font>
<font color="#ffff00">that just ran past.</font>

504
00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:27,200
<font color="#ffff00">Didn't even sniff it,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">just walked straight past.</font>

505
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:32,280
<font color="#ffff00">That's definitely determined that</font>
<font color="#ffff00">and I'm gonna take out the trout</font>

506
00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:35,800
<font color="#ffff00">and put some berries in there</font>
<font color="#ffff00">and see if I got better luck,</font>

507
00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:38,560
<font color="#ffff00">because obviously this doesn't work.</font>

508
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:50,040
<font color="#ffff00">It's fucking three in the morning.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Everything's frozen and I'm cold.</font>

509
00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:52,040
<font color="#ffff00">I have to get out for a pee.</font>

510
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:10,800
<font color="#ffff00">It's the freaking possum.</font>

511
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:14,840
<font color="#ffff00">I have no chance, but, you know,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">had my hands full, sad to say.</font>

512
00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:19,040
<font color="#ffff00">It scaled up</font>
<font color="#ffff00">about 10 metres up into a tree.</font>

513
00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:20,800
<font color="#ffff00">Too high to reach in.</font>

514
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:24,120
<font color="#ffff00">Bit frustrating knowing</font>
<font color="#ffff00">that you have a possum</font>

515
00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:26,400
<font color="#ffff00">within basically striking distance</font>

516
00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:30,160
<font color="#ffff00">and you wanna eat meat</font>
<font color="#ffff00">but you can't get to him.</font>

517
00:42:34,720 --> 00:42:38,360
<font color="#ffff00">Today was tough,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">trying to keep it up,</font>

518
00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:40,880
<font color="#ffff00">sort of feeling</font>
<font color="#ffff00">the odds is against you</font>

519
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:42,960
<font color="#ffff00">and you still just gotta keep going.</font>

520
00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:14,600
Thought I'd make my way through
the bushland to an area that

521
00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:20,680
I walked past on one of the first
exploratory hunts that I went on.

522
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:25,240
And I came past a couple
of really big, majestic trees.

523
00:43:25,240 --> 00:43:32,840
Got these three
tall, powerful trees

524
00:43:32,840 --> 00:43:35,840
that are in a straight line

525
00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:40,240
that really seem
to reflect my sisters.

526
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:47,000
Something that I haven't
discussed much of,

527
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:49,600
in May last year,

528
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:54,360
I lost my next older sister, Mandy,

529
00:43:54,360 --> 00:44:00,200
who was extremely close to me
in many ways.

530
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:02,840
We shared a passion for many things,

531
00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:06,160
and one of the main ones, of course,
was nature.

532
00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:19,600
She'd love it here.

533
00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:26,680
And when I got news that Mandy had
passed away, it was a difficult time.

534
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:33,160
There was an element of numbness,
an element of loss.

535
00:44:35,560 --> 00:44:37,440
It's a hard one to explain

536
00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:40,600
unless, I guess,
those that have been through it go,

537
00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:43,400
"I know that,
I know that sort of numbness,

538
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:50,200
"that emotions don't feel the same."

539
00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:58,320
But walking through here,

540
00:44:58,320 --> 00:45:00,960
I can't help but feel that...

541
00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:02,840
..that Mandy...

542
00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:09,400
..has been with me
on this entire journey.

543
00:45:12,720 --> 00:45:18,080
This challenge has given me
the opportunity to review my own life

544
00:45:18,080 --> 00:45:20,560
and grieve the loss of my sister.

545
00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:27,280
Hard to express the love
for somebody that's gone,

546
00:45:27,280 --> 00:45:31,120
'cause it sort of feels like
you can't thank them personally.

547
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:39,200
So, Mandy, if you can hear me,

548
00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:42,720
from the bottom of my heart,
thank you.

549
00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:53,640
So many thoughts whiling
through my head at the moment.

550
00:45:56,480 --> 00:45:58,200
They just come in...

551
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:02,280
..in slow waves,

552
00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:05,000
a little bit
like the sound of the shore.

553
00:46:20,120 --> 00:46:24,600
I don't feel a strong pull
to be the winner.

554
00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:32,560
Nor do I want to be driven
solely by the cash.

555
00:46:36,400 --> 00:46:41,200
Don't get me wrong -
the money could go a long way.

556
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:47,920
It's like oxygen -
it's difficult to live without.

557
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:53,720
If I was to ask myself

558
00:46:53,720 --> 00:47:00,440
the question as to what it is
that I want to get out of this...

559
00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:06,280
..I think a lot of it I already have.

560
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:18,640
I just hope that all those
that know me aren't disappointed...

561
00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:27,520
..should I not choose to battle it
out to the last contender.

562
00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:43,360
I am the captain of my ship.

563
00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:46,360
I am the husband to my wife.

564
00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:49,200
I am the father to my son

565
00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:52,560
and the brother to my siblings.

566
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:54,760
I am my own king.

567
00:48:35,720 --> 00:48:40,360
If you do me one favour,
just take a minute

568
00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:45,000
and appreciate
that you're sitting inside,

569
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:47,440
you're warm,

570
00:48:47,440 --> 00:48:49,000
you're comfortable,

571
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:51,760
and most likely,
if you feel snackish,

572
00:48:51,760 --> 00:48:54,880
you can go out in the fridge
and just get a snack.

573
00:48:56,600 --> 00:49:01,560
And someone like me, hungry, cold,

574
00:49:01,560 --> 00:49:06,240
just trying to make it
in a good shape to the next day

575
00:49:06,240 --> 00:49:08,640
over and over again.

576
00:49:11,720 --> 00:49:12,840
Appreciate it.

577
00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:16,400
Eat that sandwich.

578
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:24,160
But as we're getting close
to 40 days,

579
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:27,160
I expected it to be
a little bit tougher, right?

580
00:49:27,160 --> 00:49:28,320
But...

581
00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:32,440
..I feel it.

582
00:49:32,440 --> 00:49:38,120
A mouse, a rat, anything like that,
that would be really delicious.

583
00:49:38,120 --> 00:49:40,040
My body would love it.

584
00:49:44,120 --> 00:49:45,800
Hold on.

585
00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:49,720
This is a mouse.

586
00:49:49,720 --> 00:49:51,800
It's checking out the trap.

587
00:49:53,480 --> 00:49:55,720
Quite a sizeable mouse.

588
00:49:55,720 --> 00:49:57,440
Would be a snack.

589
00:49:59,960 --> 00:50:01,960
There's a mouse climbing on it.

590
00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:05,600
And inside.

591
00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:07,080
Trigger, trigger, trigger.

592
00:50:13,400 --> 00:50:16,680
What the heck is he doing?
He's in there.

593
00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:24,800
Sitting there for 20 seconds
and he hasn't...

594
00:50:25,600 --> 00:50:26,600
Oh!

595
00:50:28,920 --> 00:50:31,160
The lid triggered

596
00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:33,120
and he squeezed out the gap.

597
00:50:35,640 --> 00:50:39,840
Oh, that is just freaking awful.

598
00:50:39,840 --> 00:50:42,080
I thought I must have kicked it
getting water

599
00:50:42,080 --> 00:50:43,960
because I have to walk past
all the time,

600
00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:45,680
'cause there's no mouse in it.

601
00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:11,920
<font color="#00ff00">(PHONE RINGS)</font>

602
00:51:22,240 --> 00:51:25,280
<font color="#ffff00">MAN: Hello?</font>
Hello.

603
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:28,320
<font color="#ffff00">What's going on?</font>
I have some news for you.

604
00:51:28,320 --> 00:51:31,080
<font color="#ffff00">How are you?</font>
Good, thank you.

605
00:51:31,080 --> 00:51:35,280
I'm calling up to officially
bow out of Alone Australia.

606
00:51:53,600 --> 00:51:55,880
My head and my heart
are in a good spot.

607
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:17,120
Good morning, afternoon.

608
00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:19,360
It doesn't matter out here, does it,
the time?

609
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:21,840
Hmm.

610
00:52:23,760 --> 00:52:25,640
The journey's come to an end.

611
00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:35,400
I had a calmness to me when I arrived

612
00:52:35,400 --> 00:52:40,960
and I have a calmness to me now.

613
00:52:42,400 --> 00:52:44,680
A place of peace.

614
00:52:44,680 --> 00:52:48,160
Grateful for the opportunity
to look within.

615
00:52:55,320 --> 00:53:02,160
I have a much greater appreciation
for life in general...

616
00:53:04,320 --> 00:53:08,760
..a deeper appreciation and love
for my wife of 30 years this year.

617
00:53:10,720 --> 00:53:11,920
My wife wrote,

618
00:53:11,920 --> 00:53:16,640
"When things get difficult,
just listen to your heart.

619
00:53:16,640 --> 00:53:19,080
"Because that's where
the answers are."

620
00:53:19,080 --> 00:53:21,640
Yeah, the answer was in my heart,

621
00:53:21,640 --> 00:53:23,920
but it was more about knowing me

622
00:53:23,920 --> 00:53:28,480
so that I can go back a better person
and provide for them

623
00:53:28,480 --> 00:53:31,560
and community
and get what I want out of life.

624
00:53:36,280 --> 00:53:41,000
My time here with what I got
out of it was about me finding me...

625
00:53:42,440 --> 00:53:45,520
..and I've done that
without necessarily

626
00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:48,640
having to go for a prize at the end.

627
00:53:50,680 --> 00:53:53,840
I look forward to the loving embrace
of my wife again.

628
00:53:55,040 --> 00:53:56,200
Yeah.

629
00:53:58,680 --> 00:54:00,480
Time to return to family.

630
00:54:13,760 --> 00:54:17,360
<font color="#ffff00">My God. I haven't caught</font>
<font color="#ffff00">a bloody trout in days and days.</font>

631
00:54:17,360 --> 00:54:18,560
<font color="#ffff00">Oh!</font>

632
00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:21,480
<font color="#ffff00">I'm so tired. I can't get up.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">(LAUGHS)</font>

633
00:54:21,480 --> 00:54:24,120
<font color="#ffff00">They are plump.</font>

634
00:54:25,440 --> 00:54:27,080
<font color="#00ffff">I'm just, argh!</font>

635
00:54:27,080 --> 00:54:29,320
<font color="#00ffff">I need to get more food.</font>

636
00:54:29,320 --> 00:54:30,960
<font color="#00ffff">This looks promising.</font>

637
00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:33,880
<font color="#00ffff">Yeah, that's got seed in it,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">so that's carbohydrate.</font>

638
00:54:33,880 --> 00:54:38,400
<font color="#00ff00">Just across the river</font>
<font color="#00ff00">there is dead trout I want to eat.</font>

639
00:54:39,760 --> 00:54:41,160
<font color="#00ff00">Oh, shit.</font>

640
00:54:41,160 --> 00:54:44,440
<font color="#00ff00">Damn it. Oh, Jesus.</font>

641
00:54:44,440 --> 00:54:46,640
Not feeling good.

642
00:54:46,640 --> 00:54:50,600
Oh, man. (GROANS)

643
00:54:53,200 --> 00:54:55,200
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