Morning.
Are you OK?
Cup of tea?
Ah!
You two were spotted by a colleague riding your bikes
when you weren't on a shift.
And what were you doing in Holbeck? Don't bullshit me.
On a job, ma'am. Just heading back.
In the complete opposite direction to the station?
No, we were actually heading
to South Leeds station, ma'am,
on a social,
and we were just running a bit late.
Oh. Cos your colleague thought you were in convoy.
Convoy? No.
Police bikes are the property
of this unit.
They're not used
for you to ride about town
like a couple of pissy little new recruits,
ferrying you to random social events
when you're off duty.
Of course, ma'am. I expect better.
It won't happen again, ma'am.
No, it won't,
or you'll be facing a disciplinary.
Got it? Yes, ma'am.
Got away with that, mate!
We could have been caught, you prick!
Yeah, all right! Keep your hair on!
I guess that means you're out, then.
Got that right.
That's a shame.
Good money to be made - for anyone with the balls to do it.
Miss, did you see me do a handstand?
I did, Molly. You were amazing!
Miss, are you sad about your baby?
A little bit. Yeah.
Me, too.
Maybe you could have another one.
Yeah, maybe.
They're really cut up about it.
And they sent you as celestial messenger.
You know they're not good at this kind of thing,
but...they're hurting, Evie.
Bloody hell, Rach! Do you think I'm not?
I am done with this judgment!
I am done with this love that comes with conditions attached!
If they want to patch things up with me, they can do it themselves.
Hi! Hi, gorgeous! Hiya, love! You all right?
Nice to see you! You, too!
This is my sister Rachel. This is Becka. Hello!
It's lovely to meet you!
Sorry, I'm probably quite sweaty. I was just taking the girls for a run.
Can I tell you what a joy it is to have your sister on the street?
She's an absolute babe!
I have to go, though.
Oh, yeah. Catch them up!
Wow!
"Absolute babe!"
Who was that?
It's my neighbour. She's great.
Really?
She doesn't seem your type.
You are just like them, aren't you?
You are so judgmental!
I didn't mean it like that, Evie. I was...
Becka has been more of a support to me than any of you lot.
I'm really sorry.
I'm sorry.
Come on. Let's head back.
Can we not do this on the doorstep?
You can pay me direct debit if you like,
but then you'd have to tell your missus.
Can I come in?
One step at a time.
I need to know I can rely on you,
and...I need more than this.
I'm doing my best, Lena.
It's no reason to not let me in. No, I'm not. No. Not yet.
Let's not part on bad terms.
No, I really don't want to.
Come here!
It'll be OK.
It's not that. It's not...
I need to tell you something, and I'm...I'm dreading it.
What is it?
Rachel, just tell me what's going on.
I'm pregnant.
What?
That's amazing news!
I was so worried about telling you.
Don't be silly!
That is the best news ever!
I'm so happy for you both!
How far along are you?
Just over three months.
We wanted to wait till we'd had the scans,
just to make sure that everything was OK.
And it will be.
It will be.
Thank you!
A baby is always a blessing.
You are both blessed.
God! I'm good! Hmm?
Check this out.
What am I looking at?
This company - Colossus Building Supplies.
Registered to an Eddie Smallwood,
also a co-director of Robbie Spencer's parent company.
Head office is here in Leeds.
Er, so...?
So...Eddie Smallwood...
..doesn't exist.
Or if he does, he's hiding.
No Facebook profile, no internet presence,
no bank records, no home address.
Mm.
Oh! Nice!
Nice!
What...?
OK, why would Spencer have a co-director who doesn't exist?
Well, why don't we take a look
at the mythical Mr Smallwood's head office and find out?
Oh, look at you, Sherlock Holmes!
All right. If you don't want to be my Watson, I'll find someone else.
Oh!
Wait, wait! Are we...?
What? Are we going now?
Afternoon, Alan.
Gloria.
Say good afternoon, Mr Snuffles.
I don't think they're in.
Hey! Hey.
Yeah, we were just wondering if you're free tomorrow, but...
Are you OK?
Yeah, yeah. Come in.
So, Olly's on sleepover tomorrow
and the forecast is good,
so we're thinking of going to the seaside, if you fancy joining us.
Wow! Um...
Yeah. Yeah, that...that sounds lovely.
You feeling all right?
Yeah, I'm fine.
Do you ever feel like you just don't know who you are any more?
Like you're driving into the darkness and you just can't stop?
Sorry! Sorry.
You must think I'm crazy.
No.
No, actually, I really get it.
Do you?
God! You've no idea!
Every day I do...
..I do something I don't understand.
Evie, you'd be crazy if you didn't feel like that
after what you've been through.
Well, what do you do when that feeling comes up?
I bury it,
ignore it, hope it goes away.
But Pete - I mean, he likes to talk about things...
Oh. ..get things out in the air, and I just don't.
I am a firm believer in the power of bottling things up!
Bury it deep and get on with your life.
Thank you.
And yes to tomorrow.
It sounds lovely.
Yeah.
Well...
..I'd better get going.
Yeah.
Why don't we do something nice this weekend?
I said we'd go to the coast with the neighbours.
They're very keen.
We said we wanted to make friends, babe, and we have.
All right.
I saw Rach.
Cool.
She's pregnant.
Oh, Evie... Isn't that lovely news?
Babe, are you OK about that?
Yeah.
But... But nothing.
We should be very happy for them.
What the hell? Wow!
Borrowed it from a friend.
Yeah, it's nice. Check it out.
Wow! Yeah. Good? It's amazing!
What have we got there? Travelling in style.
I really like it here. Yeah.
It's weird that you picked this spot.
It's the exact spot I used to come with my parents.
Oh.
Yeah.
Happy memories?
OK.
Let's go and have some wine.
You know, this was my dad's only concession to a holiday,
and he hated every second of it.
Honestly, he would sit on a deckchair over there
and he would count the minutes till he could go home to the farm.
Did he not ever play with you?
Goodness, no. Thank you.
Little kids - far too full of sin.
Oh, yeah, we were never doing what we were told. Always being naughty.
No offence but...
..your old man sounds like a right piece of work.
Yeah, he is. No fun in my childhood.
But I am trying to make up for that now.
Good. Hey, we do all right.
Ah, we do. And it's all this one's fault.
Yeah, so there was I, a fresher at uni,
desperate to escape the church, and into these sinful arms I fell.
Sorry, not sorry.
Anyone?
Oh, go on, Pete. Go on.
Come on.
Game on. Oh, Pete!
Oh, come on.
Oh, here we go.
Come on. Yeah.
Now we're talking.
Ooh, he caught it. Not bad. Thought I couldn't catch?
Oh, yeah, what about that?
You think this is for our benefit?
I am afraid it might be. Mm-hm.
Ready?
Aargh. Oh!
Yes!
Fuck.
Why are men such show-offs?
Well, there's an evolutionary theory.
Ah? Yeah. Yeah, it's so that the, uh,
the female of the species, they notice them
and they can't resist their masculine prowess.
Right.
Oh. On the head!
Oh! Ah! Fuck!
Yes! I knew there was another one.
All right, here you go. Oh!
So, Evie... Mm-hm?
Was Pete your only boyfriend?
Yes, my... He was my... my only serious one.
Only sexual one... Pete! ..she means.
You must think I'm such a saddo.
No, I think it's admirable - you knew exactly what you wanted.
What about you two?
Well... Um...
I was in a relationship when we met.
Ooh. That's awkward.
Well, it was and it wasn't.
It was a non-monogamous relationship.
And...how did that work?
Sorry if, uh... I mean, I'm just curious, so...
Well, we, dated each other,
but we also saw other people,
as long as we were clear on the boundaries.
And did it work?
It did.
Until Danny. Um...
I think my ex realised that he was more possessive than he thought,
and he asked me to choose, and I did.
And how did you feel about that set-up?
Pete, will you stop being so flipping nosy?
No, don't be daft. It's fine.
I'm glad you're interested. What do you want to know?
Well, what did it...? What did it feel like
being with someone who... who didn't want to be monogamous?
Confusing at first, but...
..then I spent more time with Becks and got my head around it and...
..realised we'd both be much happier.
Now, here we are,
still happily non-monogamous.
Wow.
You still just date whoever you want?
No, we realised that dating other people wasn't for us.
Mm-hm. In Becka's fantasy world,
everyone would be able to date whoever they like,
whenever they like, without consequence.
Yeah.
Yeah, right.
And, look, to answer your question,
for us, well, we're allowed to play with other people
as long as we're both present.
And is that cos you think monogamy is a...false construct?
It just... It just didn't work for us.
I would never judge anybody's choices.
Doesn't stop them judging us, sadly.
Oh, I hope... I hope you don't think we're... Yeah.
..judging you. We... I mean, we don't have to talk about it.
No, not at all. I mean, I really like talking about it.
I think...
I think it can be a really healthy way to live.
I mean, our neighbours might not think so.
They're... They're really lovely people. Oh.
No, I get it. They're nosy buggers.
Every time I go out, I feel like they're twitching their curtains.
Right? Oh, my God, I thought it was just me being paranoid.
It's like I can never escape them.
And now the guy at number 37 has started taking my yoga classes.
Did he now? Mm-mm.
Look, it's...
It's an OK place to live. I'm not saying that it isn't.
Well, we promise not to twitch our curtains at you.
Oh, darling, you can twitch all you like.
Ah, now, she probably means that.
Am I right? I do.
Yeah, she does. I knew it!
Let's say we smoke this,
go back to t'camper van, get the party started?
This day is getting better by the minute.
Isn't it, Pete? Yeah.
Oh! Mmm.
Alan?
What would you like for lunch, love?
I don't mind.
OK, well, it won't be long.
I'll be down in a minute.
Thanks for waiting. Yes, that date is available.
We'll send an engineer to assess the property
before we install the stairlift.
Oh, that sounds wonderful.
Thanks. Let's get that booked in, shall we?
Of course. Will do now. See you then.
Come on, then, darling.
That's gone straight to my head.
I feel like we're hanging out with two horny teenagers.
We are.
Are you having fun, though?
I am.
I love you, Evie.
Why? What's wrong?
Nothing. Can't I just tell you?
Oi, come on!
I'm coming.
Oh, yes!
Who wants the last one? Go on.
Oh, my God.
Go on, then. Just a bite. I'll just have a bite.
All right, Petey? Mm-hm.
Oh, yeah! Mmm, does it get any better than this?
Ah, well, now, there is one thing missing.
Mm-mm?
Tequila! Whoo!
Yes, come on. Right?
No way. Salut.
That's not fair. Becka's got to drive.
Oh, no, no, darling. I am high on life.
Go on, Pete. No way!
Eh, gringo, you want tequila?
Petey, Petey, Petey...
I'm not drinking tequila in the middle of the afternoon.
Um, anyway, where was I? Um...
Yes, that's what... All...
All I'm saying is that we shouldn't say birdbrain,
because birds are actually incredibly smart.
Birds are smart. It doesn't make sense.
Are you a...? Are you a bird watcher, mate?
Aah! Peter, Peter... I bet... I bet you are.
Whoo! OK, Becks. All right, babe.
Whoa!
It's going everywhere!
There you go. Oh, fucking hell, there you go.
Come on!
Come on.
Come on. Yeah.
Come on. Come on.
Come on. Come on, Pete.
She's here. Yes!
Whoo!
Right.
- Another drink? - Yeah.
Well, all right.
Oh, that's great. Yes! We made it.
Oh, look at the state of you.
Gosh. Oh, what a day. You're welcome.
Here you go, mate. Take your man-bag.
Thank you so much! You're welcome. That was amazing.
Nice one. It was great, thanks.
Bye.
Thanks. See you later. Come on.
Oh, my God!
Day drinking has finished me.
Aw! I was gonna suggest another little...nightcap.
Oh, you're not serious?
Come on, Petey. We have got so much to talk about!
That was quite the revelation.
Hmm. I knew, you know.
Well, I...
I'd seen them have visitors and I'd maybe...
..glimpsed something.
You never told me that!
Ah. I...wasn't sure.
Oh.
It's funny, isn't it -
what we don't tell each other?
Is it?
We're pretty open.
Oh, come on!
Think about all the discussions we have never had.
Like what?
Have you ever fantasised about me and another woman at the same time?
What? You couldn't wait to ask Becka all these questions.
Well, I was just...fascinated.
Yeah, clearly.
Have you ever thought about...
..acting on that fascination?
Bloody hell, Evie. I don't know.
Are you saying this is something you'd actually want to try?
I don't know. I don't know. That's what's crazy -
is that I've never actually thought about it.
We've never even talked about it in all these years.
I guess I just never questioned it.
Well, maybe we should start questioning it.
What are you saying?
I'm not enough for you?
Course you are.
OK. Well...
What...? What do you want?
Like, what...?
What are you...fantasising about?
Let's find out.
Hmm.
That was a lot of fun. It was.
I know you too well.
What? Not guilty.
Not with friends.
God! You know what?
I am so bored of the rules.
We've gotten so suburban.
We used to be wild and spontaneous, and I miss that.
I miss those freedoms.
And, you know, she was all over you. Mm-hm.
And I have a raging hard-on
for a bookish intellectual type.
Mmm.
Becks, they've had a rough time.
Could be dangerous. In what way?
It could get messy with friends.
Well, I thought you lived for a bit of danger.
I'm serious.
I like 'em. So do you.
So don't jeopardise it.
I'm not jeopardising anything.
No, the rules are there for a reason.
They work, so...
..let's stick to 'em.
OK.
I should issue you a ticket.
What for?
Bin's causing obstruction.
To whom?
Other residents.
Yeah, well I pick litter on the street every day
to keep our neighbourhood...
Bins out on bin day only.
You serious?
Deadly.
OK.
Oh, and, uh...
..stop going to my wife's yoga classes and perving over her.
How dare you?
I was doing nothing of the sort.
I'm a... I'm a happily married man.
Oh.
You got a sudden interest in yoga?
Am... Am I not allowed to try and stay fit?
Is that a crime?
This is a free country
and I will go to whatever class I want.
Is that right?
Fucking creep.
Well, at least they're open this time.
Only two reasons you run a business under a fake name.
Mm-hm. You're either creaming off the profits
or you're money laundering.
Exactly. Mm-hm.
What is with the security, though?
And armed.
Like that's legal.
It's a timberyard, not a bank.
Exactly.
Uh, random question.
Yeah?
You know anyone in an open relationship?
Um...
..yeah.
Yeah, loads of my mates, actually, um...
In fact, three of them are in a throuple.
Meaning?
What do you mean, meaning?
Meaning there's three of them, not two, Grandad.
And how does that work?
I don't bloody know, but apparently it does, so...
Not your vibe?
Sorry. That was, um...
That was very personal.
No. What? No, it's...
Look, I'm... I'm bi, but I'm also an old-fashioned saddo
who only has room in her heart for one person at a time.
There you go. That's just me.
I didn't know you were, um...
I mean, it's... It's cool.
Obviously. Um...
OK. Well, um...
..thank you for the blessing, boomer,
I feel really sexually validated right now.
Bloody hell. That's Spencer.
Are those guys cops?
I think we should drive on.
Where'd you get these from, then?
One of Robbie's lot sorted 'em... Ah.
Look, fake number plates, the lot.
Oh.
Christ.
Think of the money.
Five grand each. We'll be home in no time.
Come on, admit it. Like clockwork, right?
Yeah, I told you - stay sharp.
Get back in position.
OK, all right, all right. Keep your pants on.
Heads-up.
There's a vehicle on the wrong side of the road.
I'm gonna check it out.
Yeah, copy that, mate. Eyes on.
Fuck. Fuck!
Clear.
Evie?