TRADE FEDERATION MILITARY GARRISON
I'm sending you the coordinates to the artillery.
Go there in your armored vehicle
and wreak as much havoc as you possibly can for us.
I'm sending over a drone now to resupply your ammo.
Huh? Hold on a sec.
You want us to break an enemy siege with just five of us?!
Not only that, you're wanting us to attack the artillery?!
I'm not asking you to take them all out.
Just distract them long enough for us to get some reinforcements on the ground.
You're really asking us to do this?
[Rimel] Affirmative!
[all gasp]
[all groan]
Good luck, Yakitoris.
We're counting on you.
YAKITORI
[theme song plays]
HARASSMENT
[upbeat electronic music plays]
[clamoring]
[babbling]
[whirring]
- [Erland] Is this all of it? - [Akira] Yeah.
[grunting]
- Huh? - [Amalia] You done?
[Erland] Yeah, almost.
Huh? What the heck are they doing over there?
[chattering]
[babbling]
[sergeant] Come back! You'll get shot if you go that way!
[sergeant 2] Come back! Come back here now!
[chattering]
[Amalia over radio] Look at them, running away like scared animals.
Well then, I guess we can use it to our benefit as they distract the enemy.
- [sighs] - [Erland] Okay.
Ammo has been loaded.
[Akira] We're good to go!
[electronic music continues]
[sighs]
So, what exactly are we supposed to wait for before we move?
I think Rimel said something like...
[imitating Rimel] "It's up to all of you."
"Head out when there's a lull in the enemy assault."
[blubbers]
- Something like that. - Yeah.
We don't want to waste all the ammo since we just replenished here.
We're just gonna have to roll the dice.
I'm not really a fan of leaving things up to chance, but...
[Zihan] But what?
But it seems like we don't have a choice.
Kick it into overdrive on my count.
- [Erland] Copy that. - All right.
Look at Akira having a good idea for once.
But who decides when we go?
I don't think you're the best person for the job.
[chuckles]
- [Akira] Let Zihan do it then. - [both] Uh...
[Akira] We can all agree she's the best at reading situations.
Yeah, that works.
- [Zihan] Okay. - Uh...
- Erland, let's switch. - Yeah, okay.
[beeping]
[breathes deeply]
TEN MONTHS AGO
MARS
TRADE FEDERATION ROUTE SECURITY COUNCIL
PLANETARY NATIVE INTELLIGENT SPECIES BUREAU
TRAINING FACILITY "THE KITCHEN"
- K321? Is unit K321 here? - Here! That's us!
Eh.
You, come this way.
[Tyrone] Mmm.
Leave all your things and head inside.
[Akira] Yeah, sure.
Hey.
What is this thing supposed to be? Are they trapping us in here?
- [hissing] - Ah!
[grunting]
- [Amalia whimpers] - No!
[grunting]
What the hell?
[gasping]
- [man] Unit K321! - [Akira] Huh?
Welcome to the Memory Transfer Room.
I will be your drill instructor here.
The name's John Doe.
And what exactly are we supposed to be learning in this place?
Aren't you in a hurry?
[beeping]
[whirring]
[mysterious music plays]
[whirring]
Remove all metal from your person
and then get into one of the cocoons you see behind me here.
Your brains will be implanted with the language Space Lingua Franca,
or Srilankan, which you might know
as the working language of the Trade Federation.
Wait. Does anyone else go through this
or is it only us getting our brains filled?
Regular Yakitoris also receive combat techniques and tactical knowledge,
along with other important info soldiers should know.
So, what is our team supposed to do since we won't have this knowledge?
Well, it's my job to teach each one of you everything you need to know.
All right!
Enough of the questions.
Now get into a cocoon!
First the cold shower, now this.
What'll be next?
Come on.
What is this?
Cramming us into this strange machine.
Uh...
What is this? What the hell's going on?
[whirring]
[John Doe over intercom] This won't have a negative effect on you physically,
but some people might experience side effects.
Try to stay calm.
If you squirm too much, you'll fry your brain.
- Ah! - [Joe Doe] That's all!
[beep]
[Akira grunting]
Zihan! Not yet?
- [beeping] - [Zihan] Not yet.
[sighs]
If we don't move soon, these rats are going to kill us!
[sighs] Just hang on.
Hang on? We gotta do something!
[Zihan] You're breaking my concentration.
Don't return fire yet.
- [Tyrone] What?! - Stay quiet.
They don't know we're here,
so wait.
[sighs]
[rats chattering]
[techno music plays]
[chattering]
- [growls] - Ah!
[groans]
[panting]
Ah!
[gasps]
[yelling]
[whirs]
[groans]
Whoa! Ah! [grunts]
[all yelp]
That was dangerous.
Hey! How about you give a warning, huh?
I got it. I'll be sure to do that next time.
[yelling]
[gasps]
- [chuckles] We did it! - [Tyrone] Yeah!
[Erland] If they get past the second line of defense,
do you think the base will hold out okay?
Like I care.
Stay focused on the job we were given.
But what's the point if we don't have anywhere to return to?
[Akira] Huh. Must be nice to think about the future.
- [Tyrone] Hmm. - Let's worry about this first.
[Erland] Uh, I guess.
If we can successfully execute this plan we have,
the situation will change.
Besides, we don't have a choice anymore.
[Akira] Sounds good to me.
Let's do this then.
EIGHT MONTHS AGO MARS OUTDOOR YAKITORI TRAINING GROUND 3
INSIDE MOCK BASE 3
[gasps]
[Amalia] You want us to just wait in this big open area?
- We'll be sitting ducks! - So we're just supposed to run?
Don't you remember what happened when we listened to you last time
and the time before that?
We got our asses handed to us.
[Amalia] You'd like to take a bigger risk instead?
If we stay here, we're going to be completely surrounded. Then what?
That's true.
But at least we'll get some points.
[Amalia] Erland! Have you lost your mind?
The score doesn't matter if we end up dead.
[Akira sighs] Are you stupid?
This is a drill, like playing a game.
Why not try something out?
You're saying that we should defend this point
to get completely wiped out?
- [laughing] What a joke! - [groans]
You want to convince us that you're brave, but you're just an embarrassment.
At least I've got the skills to back up my ideas!
[Zihan] Akira! Amalia!
- Please stop this fighting. - [Akira scoffs]
- Hmph. - [Akira] Zihan?
What do you think we should do?
You always think things through before you make a decision.
- [Tyrone] Mm-hmm. - [sighs] It doesn't matter what we do.
- Huh? - As long as we all do it together.
[Amalia] There you go again, acting all neutral.
- Just stop it! - No, you should stop it!
Hey, hey, hey!
Let's flip this coin.
We don't have much time,
so this will help us. Yeah?
- Tails. - [Amalia] Heads is fine.
Now who's gonna flip it, though?
I'll flip it.
Thank you.
That way no one can complain about it.
Huh?
[grunts]
- [Erland gasps] - [gasps]
All right! I won!
Okay, let's head out, then.
["Eine kleine Nachtmusik" plays]
[gunshots]
[beeping]
[gunshots]
[alarm blares]
[John Doe over loudspeaker] This is The Kitchen. The drill is over.
I repeat, the drill is over.
- Here. - Uh.
Rimel hooked us up.
He got us weapons, tea, and Great Satisfactions. How nice of him.
And he gave us a generous supply, at that.
We've got a week's worth here, so go ahead and eat your fill.
[Amalia] Hmm.
What's up?
We received intel from the orbital Trade Federation fleet.
This came in from the recon satellite.
[beeping]
We can see everyone's position from this.
I think you mean we have front-row seats to watch our untimely demise.
Oh, the garrison is putting up a fight.
I suppose we should give the Trade Federation a little credit.
[loud beeping]
- [Zihan] We have a problem. - [all grunt]
What's wrong?
[suspenseful music plays]
[Zihan] An enemy spider tank squad blockaded the road.
They're stopping anyone from entering the city.
Ah! What do we do?
- Should we fight through them? - Ah.
What? And use up all the ammo we got?
It doesn't look good.
If we charge down this road, we'll be easy targets.
- [Akira] Anyway around them? - Hang on.
- [yelping] - [grunts]
Huh?
[grunts] Damn it!
- I said to warn us! - I did this time.
That was a good suggestion, Akira.
We'll lose a bit of time because we'll have to drive slower here
off of the pavement.
But this route is the quickest way to the artillery position.
[whistles]
Things are starting to look like an old Western movie now.
If we follow that logic,
this would be the part where we get attacked by someone. Yeah?
[Amalia] Stop that.
Don't jinx us.
[Zihan] I took a look at the satellite images,
but from what I can see, this area's clear.
[Admin AI in Japanese] Notification: Protected environmental zone ahead.
Please follow the speed limit and watch out for pedestrians.
[all] Huh?
[chattering]
The heck are those?
[chattering]
[upbeat techno music plays]
[both gasp] Hell no.
We're surrounded by them!
Oh, you just had to go and mention us getting attacked.
[Erland] This isn't my fault!
Why are there Barkan soldiers hiding up here in the hills?
[Admin AI in Japanese] Notification: This is the Guadal Wasteland Sanctuary.
The traditional ancient Barkan living environment has been preserved...
[Akira] Shut up!
Would've been helpful if we knew that earlier!
[Tyrone] Then they all live here in this area?
Why would they be so well armed?
Who cares? Just fire back at them!
- [chattering] - Ah!
Yeah!
[grunts]
Ah!
Don't let them latch on!
- Go faster! - That's all it's got!
Shut your mouth, Erland!
You gotta be kidding me. Just how big is this rats' nest?
[Akira] I told you not to wear perfume, Zihan!
HALF A YEAR AGO MARS
- [Zihan] I can do whatever I want. - [Akira] Yeah?
Well, if you wear that crap into battle and get sniffed out,
the whole team is gonna have to pay the price.
It's dumb.
Oh, we're a team?
Akira, have you ever covered anyone or had our backs?
At least I'm not dragging you down.
Don't expect any more than that.
Well, if this group didn't have your back,
you would've been taken out several times.
From the sound of it, you didn't even know.
Maybe you should check your attitude.
[Akira] Did I ask you to cover me?
[Amalia] Zihan's right.
Akira, you always act like you're so amazing,
like you're always right and everyone else is wrong.
I'm sure as hell doing better than you are.
Amalia's providing cover for you too, you know? Or did you miss that?
So that gives you the right to lecture me and talk down to me?
You know what's right?
[Erland] Come on, guys. That's enough.
Damn it, Erland!
You don't always have to be the peacemaker around here.
Come on! Hey!
There's no need to get mad at him too.
Be quiet!
I don't care about covering anyone's backs!
- I'm in this for myself! - [groans]
Do whatever you want as long as you don't get in my way!
Okay. So you think you're the only victim here?
[clapping]
Hello, Unit K321.
You all look well.
[Akira] Pupkin!
You're all so energetic today!
Why are you here, sir?
[John Doe] Attention!
[Pupkin] Oh, I just wanted to come by
and check in on how your training is going so far.
[John Doe] Line up!
Pick up the pace!
Planetary Mobile Infantry Skill Assessment Exercise, Process A.
Currently you're 0 for 11
with a loss rate of 100%.
Survival rate, battle results, tactical contribution, individual skill,
and overall rating all score at the bottom.
An F.
You've done extremely poorly, huh?
Well, that's impressive in its own right.
It's good.
Keep up the excellent work.
[door slides open]
[door closes]
[John Doe groans]
All right, chickens!
So, have you really devolved into arguing right after you've failed?
Huh?
Looks like you've still got tons of energy left.
Isn't that nice?
[scoffs] You're in good health.
Although, if you're training on Mars is so boring,
then I must be going too easy.
I've failed you.
Your failures are on me here.
So I ask...
Should I apologize to you?
Or maybe you should
try dying!
- [action music plays] - [gasps]
[grunting]
Ah!
[grunts]
[gasping]
Hmm.
[groaning]
Oh God. Help us.
[choking]
Stop clinging to things that don't exist, you worm!
[Erland] Please stop.
I can't breathe.
But if you think praying's gonna save you,
then go ahead and do it!
[screams]
Come on.
Is no one going to get up and help rescue Erland from his suffering?
What happened to all that vigor you had earlier?
[grunts]
[John Doe] Why the hell are you a part of this unit, you chickens?
[grunting]
[John Doe] You know, you rejects are heartless and brainless!
[Amalia] I am not a reject.
- [John Doe] What did you say? - That's not true! I'm not a reject!
Fine. I'll say this Unit 321
is exceptionally good at dragging each other down.
[Amalia screams]
[grunting]
[John Doe grunting]
I'd love the chance to see your parents' faces sometime.
What kind of people gave birth to such useless chickens?
[Tyrone] Old man!
[Akira] Don't do it!
I'm gonna have to take you on.
No one insults my family!
[grunts]
You really think you can take someone like me on? Idiot!
[groans]
Wish I could see the look on your parents' faces.
They gotta be disappointed.
If I showed up as pathetic as you wusses do,
hell, I wouldn't be able to look mine in the eye.
- Shut your damn mouth! - Zihan, wait. No!
[grunts]
[grunting]
[groans]
[John Doe] You're all just awful.
Maybe Earth mistakenly thinks that Mars is some sort of garbage dump for them.
Right, Akira?
This sound correct to you?
I'm...
[grunts]
I'm not garbage, you ass!
[grunting]
[whimpers]
[creature] Pupkin, this is the new future you've been going on about?
They're probably going to need more training
before actual combat.
But you're looking at a prized golden egg.
You can't expect them to fly when they haven't even hatched yet, correct?
[creature] As it stands, Yakitoris are meant to be disposable.
Pupkin, I understand you are an excellent example of the human species.
But I do think you tend to overestimate how talented humans are.
I would have to say it's the opposite, Officer Egs.
Pardon me. The Trade Federation
tends to underestimate species they believe are beneath them.
Their lack of advancement cannot be denied.
[Pupkin] No, you have it wrong!
What is happening before you is great progress,
which means they'll advance.
They were easily subdued by their instructor.
He was outnumbered.
These people were thrown onto Mars and into this situation.
This is just a spirited brawl with their instructor.
This is how we get the results we're looking for.
All we need is to teach them discipline and tactics.
That can be done?
Yes, of course.
[in Japanese] Notification: Nearing target destination.
[gasps]
That's it. That's the base.
[mysterious music plays]
That's the artillery base?
They certainly have an impressive antiaircraft turret.
We're outgunned.
You really think five people can handle this job?
No one likes people who complain too much.
[all] Ah!
[Amalia gasps]
What will we do?
Huh, I have no idea.
[beeping music]
[dance remix of "Eine kleine Nachtmusik" plays]