Downloaded from YTS.MX
[♪♪♪] >> simu: Hello?
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX
>> simu: Hello? >> andrew: My guy, it is your
favourite eight.
Favourite eight. Are you ready to do the sequel?
>> simu: Yes, yes, I'm in.
>> pack your bags yob you're
going to edmonton right now.
Going to edmonton right now. >> simu: The junos, that's what
he meant.
He meant. Bigger and better.
>> sabeen: Hay, boss man, I
couldn't remember your coffee
Couldn't remember your coffee order, so I got you one of
Order, so I got you one of everything. You ready for the
Everything. You ready for the junos?
Junos? >> simu: Honestly, I got
nothing.
Nothing. >> sabeen: Well, call a friend
and get some inspiration.
And get some inspiration. >> simu: I've got to find
someone to call.
Someone to call. >> I work for you.
I'm not your friend.
>> simu: I find out who to call.
>> shamier: Simu, you're back
and I've got some advice for
And I've got some advice for you.
You. >> avril: You know it doesn't
have to be so complicated.
Have to be so complicated. >> iman: Try to be funny if
possible, but don't try too
Possible, but don't try too hard.
Hard. >> david: You know, if you screw
up, every asian canadian will be
Up, every asian canadian will be embarrassed.
Embarrassed. >> lilly: Anything you do has
the potential to become a meme.
The potential to become a meme. >> mark: It's a lot of pressure,
but don't think about that.
But don't think about that. >> shania: Don't let our country
down.
Down. >> paul: Now go get 'em.
Okay, see you.
>> simu: Seriously, you've got
to be kidding me right now!
To be kidding me right now! [♪♪♪]
>> simu: Hey, guys, sorry, if
you can keep it down.
You can keep it down. I'm trying to prep -- oh my god,
nickelback.
Nickelback. >> chad: Why does it feel like
we're about to do a bit.
We're about to do a bit. Are you wearing a wire?
>> simu: What?
>> chad: Please tell me that you
didn't come in here to do one of
Didn't come in here to do one of those cringy bits every award
Those cringy bits every award show for the last 30 years has
Show for the last 30 years has been doing right before the host
Been doing right before the host gets up on stage.
Gets up on stage. >> simu: What did you have in
mind?
Mind? >> chad: What did you have in
mind.
Mind. >> my loofah.
>> you don't even have hair.
>> I feel like you get me.
>> I feel so misunderstood.
>> chad: What about my second
coat?
Coat? >> simu: She's had six songs
chart on the billboard hot 100.
Chart on the billboard hot 100. Give it up for tate mcrae.
[ cheering and applause ]
[♪♪♪]
♪ you want the girl with the
small waist.♪
Small waist.♪ ♪ and the perfect smile ♪
♪ someone who's out every week
day ♪
Day ♪ ♪ in her dad's new car ♪
♪ you tell me I shouldn't stress
out ♪
Out ♪ ♪ say it's not that hard ♪
♪ but I just got a feelin' ♪
♪ this'll leave an ugly scar ♪
♪ if you say she's nothing to
worry about ♪
Worry about ♪ ♪ then why'd you close your eyes
when you said it out loud? ♪
When you said it out loud? ♪ ♪ stupid boy makin' me so sad ♪
♪ didn't think you could change
this fast ♪
This fast ♪ ♪ she's got everything that I
don't have ♪
Don't have ♪ ♪ how could I ever compete with
that? ♪
That? ♪ ♪ I know you'll go and change
your mind ♪
Your mind ♪ ♪ one day wake up and be bored
with mine ♪
With mine ♪ ♪ she's got everything that I
don't have ♪
Don't have ♪ ♪ and she's all I wanna be ♪
♪ all I wanna be so bad ♪
♪ so bad ♪
♪ she's got everything that I
don't have ♪
Don't have ♪ ♪ mm-mm ♪
♪ you want someone you can show
off ♪
Off ♪ ♪ whenever you go out ♪
♪ she'll wear a tight mini black
dress ♪
Dress ♪ ♪ with all her friends around ♪
♪ and then you'll probably spend
the night at ♪
The night at ♪ ♪ her nice big house ♪
♪ and by then, I'll just be
someone ♪
Someone ♪ ♪ you've forgotten about, oh ♪
♪ if you say she's nothing to
worry about ♪
Worry about ♪ ♪ then why'd you close your eyes
when you said it out loud? ♪
When you said it out loud? ♪ ♪ stupid boy makin' me so sad
♪ didn't think you could change
this fast ♪
This fast ♪ ♪ she's got everything that I
don't have ♪
Don't have ♪ ♪ how could I ever compete with
that? ♪
That? ♪ ♪ I know you'll go and change
your mind ♪
Your mind ♪ ♪ one day wake up and be bored
with mine ♪
With mine ♪ ♪ she's got everything that I
don't have ♪
Don't have ♪ ♪ and she's all I wanna be ♪
♪ all I wanna be so bad ♪
♪ so bad ♪
>> junos!
♪ she's going wanna be ♪
♪ so bad ♪♪
[ cheering and applause ]
>> simu: Good evening, everyone,
and welcome to the 52nd annual
And welcome to the 52nd annual junos awards!
Junos awards! [ cheering and applause ].
>> simu: Man, it is great to be
back.
Back. As a first-generation immigrant,
I want to respectfully
acknowledge the land we are on
Acknowledge the land we are on is treaty 6 territory and the
Is treaty 6 territory and the métis nation of alberta region
Métis nation of alberta region 4.
We would like to thank the
diverse indigenous peoples whose
Diverse indigenous peoples whose ancestors have been here since
Ancestors have been here since time immemorial: The nêhiyaw,
Time immemorial: The nêhiyaw, dené, anishinaabe/saulteaux/
Dené, anishinaabe/saulteaux/ nakota sioux, and niitsitapi
Nakota sioux, and niitsitapi peoples.
Peoples. It is also the homeland of the
métis and home to one of the
Métis and home to one of the largest communities of inuit
Largest communities of inuit south of the 60th parallel.
South of the 60th parallel. You guys
ready to have a good time?
Ready to have a good time? [ cheering and applause ].
>> simu: Edmonton mayor amarjeet
sohi is in the house tonight.
Sohi is in the house tonight. Give it up for him.
As a torontoian myself, how do I
put this, we have a by the of a
Put this, we have a by the of a thing when it comes to mayors.
Thing when it comes to mayors. Let me say how refreshing it is
to see a mayor not do crack in
To see a mayor not do crack in an underpass or engage in a very
An underpass or engage in a very uncomfortable sex scandal.
Uncomfortable sex scandal. Toronto should take note, I
think.
Think. We are live from rogers place,
home of the oilers, led by
Home of the oilers, led by edmonton's other mayor,
Edmonton's other mayor, connor mcdavid!
Connor mcdavid! [ cheering and applause ].
>> simu: That's right.
Now,
conner's year has been described
Conner's year has been described as one of the best single-season
As one of the best single-season performances since wayne
Performances since wayne gretzky.
Gretzky. Incredible.
Connor, you are the lebron of
hockey right now.
Hockey right now. Do me a favour.
Promise me you won't take your
talent to south beach.
Talent to south beach. Don't do that to these lovely
edmontonians.
Edmontonians. We love you.
Stay here forever.
Heck yeah.
[ cheering and applause ].
>> simu: When the producers
asked me to
Asked me to come back, I did what any
Come back, I did what any responsible adult would do --
Responsible adult would do -- I left the writing until the
last possible second.
Last possible second. But that's okay.
We live in the age of artificial
intelligence.
Intelligence. A.I. Can write entire essays for
school now.
School now. Just ask your kids, everyone is
doing it.
Doing it. So I figure it can write me a
monologue for the junos.
Monologue for the junos. So tonight we're here for the
world's first awards
World's first awards show monologue powered by ai.
Show monologue powered by ai. Let's bring it up real quick and
we're going to ask.
We're going to ask. Got any ideas for a host
monologue for the juno awards?
Monologue for the juno awards? Here we go.
Put it on the prompter real
quick.
Quick. Good evening, canada,
and welcome to the 2023 juno
And welcome to the 2023 juno awards.
Awards. Tonight we honor, the best in
canadian music.
Canadian music. Okay, we spell honour
with a u -- ok.
With a u -- ok. I am here to play but a
small part and move us through
Small part and move us through the evening.
The evening. I feel like small is a
bit of an undersell.
Bit of an undersell. Anyway.
We have a lot to
celebrate tonight!
Celebrate tonight! From the newcomers making their
mark on the scene to legends in
Mark on the scene to legends in the audience, such as prime
The audience, such as prime minister sir john a. Macdonald,
Minister sir john a. Macdonald, poutine, lake superior, and the
Poutine, lake superior, and the cn tower.
Cn tower. Okay, most of those are not even
people.
People. I guess they're still figuring
the technology out.
The technology out. That's why I am on stage and you
-- a.I. Is not.
-- A.I. Is not. Thank you.
Our jobs are safe.
Okay, well, moving on.
A lot has happened since the
last time I took the junos
Last time I took the junos stage.
Stage. To start things off, I'm going
to be in the
To be in the frickin' "barbie" movie.
Frickin' "barbie" movie. Yes.
I'm playing barbie.
That's how much I'm breaking
barriers.
Barriers. No, you guys, no, I'm just
kidding.
Kidding. They did such a good job keeping
the story under wraps, I don't
The story under wraps, I don't even know what character I
Even know what character I played.
Played. All I know is that this image of
me made the trailer.
Me made the trailer. Take a look.
Pretty snazzy, right?
It reminds me of a similar photo
I took 10
years ago which I was paid much
Years ago which I was paid much less for.
Less for. Much less snazzy.
So nostalgic, I want to sing a
song about it.
Song about it. Do we have a guitarists in the
front?
Front? Ryan peake from nickelback?
I'll take this.
The year was 2013, and I had
to do some stock photos.
To do some stock photos. Gosh, I remember that photo
shoot like it was yesterday.
Shoot like it was yesterday. Ryan, you ready?
Let's do it.