HANK: Bro, bro, bro. Bro, wait. Hang on.
My hair looks crazy today.
COLE: Dude, it's a podcast.
HANK: Yeah, and thank God 'cause you look horrible.
-Okay, we got to start. -(Cole laughs)
Listen, today's a big show because I'm ready to call it.
Someone take Coach W to the vet and euthanize him.
He's lived a good life, but it's time.
COLE: Dude, you're calling it?
HANK: He's done,
and I don't say this lightly.
-COLE: Oh... -I mean, we are talking about
Coach Russell Willoughby.
-This man has how many NBA titles? -COLE: Lot of NBA titles.
-That's true. Yeah. -HANK: Yeah. A legend.
And if my dude had just stayed retired,
that'd be the end of it.
But at age 106, he decides to coach college.
COLE: He's 74, but continue.
HANK: I'm like, okay, interesting.
St. Ivan's has sucked lately.
Maybe he builds the program back into what it was.
-Boy, was that a bad bet. -COLE: Okay, hang on.
They've lost three games.
It takes years to rebuild, bro.
HANK: Dude, I'm not talking about the record.
You know what I'm talking about.
Clearly, basketball is, like,
the last thing on this man's mind right now.
COLE: I mean, you're acting
like we don't know exactly who to blame.
HANK: Dude, I feel like if I mention her name,
she'll put a hex on my ding-dong.
-COLE: She's not Voldemort, man. -HANK: She might be.
COLE: We're talking about the biggest story
in sports right now. -HANK: Don't you say--
-Don't say her name. -COLE: Peyton Ramsey.
-I said it. -HANK: Well, now
she's gonna hex your ding-dong.
-Mm. -Good thing you never use it.
(laughs) Hey, speaking of that,
today's podcast is brought to you by Shape 'n' Scape.
Fellas, you know how bad it hurts
when you're using clippers down there
and you catch a bit of scro--
(quiet chatter)
Have you listened yet?
Hey, beautiful. Listened to what?
Mm.
We can't let these guys keep talking about us like this.
You know my media policy, Pey.
Just tune it out, focus on the fundamentals.
These guys have millions of followers, okay?
And, by the way, they're still quoting "inside sources,"
which means that your players are still DMing them.
Ah, but I told you that I don't know what "DMing" means.
-Anyway, listen. -(laughs)
-Pey, come on. -(groans)
-Deep breath. Okay? -(inhales deeply)
I will reiterate our media policy
at the next team practice.
-Thank you. -Mm.
Also, I had some thoughts about some of the guys' socials,
but I-I don't want to overstep.
No, no, no, no, no. I think it's a great idea.
I'm sure that the guys would appreciate your advice.
Thank you, babe. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Mm. Mm.
*
(smooching)
(laughs)
-See you later. -See you in a bit.
What... Hey, Peyton.
You need to delete your X account.
I don't think I have one of those.
It's what they call Twitter now.
And your old profile still has posts
of 15-year-old Marcus, saying:
"Do you think they spell it 'boobs'
'cause the two O's look like boobs?"
(chuckles)
-No. -Oh.
"Just found out no school 'cause it's Yom Kippur.
Hope all you Jews out partying and getting laid."
Yeah, what's wrong with that?
Yom Kippur is a day of atonement.
No offense, but why do you care?
Because I manage Coach W's personal brand now.
So, if one of his players posts something offensive,
then it's bad for his brand.
Now, if you don't want to take my advice,
then maybe he rethinks tomorrow's starting five
and we go from there.
(man clears throat)
Hey, Dave.
Marcus, could you give us a minute?
-Okay. -(Peyton sighs)
I want to be very clear.
You need to stop what you're doing here.
-What? Why? -No. Let's--
Don't make a big thing out of this, okay?
We both know that you're taking advantage of Coach's...
(exhales sharply) ...affection for you
to adopt a role that's completely inappropriate
to your age and your experience,
and that your presence here has become a distraction.
You find me distracting?
Creep.
When I recruited Coach W to St. Ivan's,
it was the greatest moment of my career.
Or it should've been.
But you ruined it.
-You ruined him. -Why?
Because I finally got him to do something about his eyebrows?
You turned a legend into a sad, pathetic loser.
Posing for selfies, doing sandwich commercials.
You've single-handedly destroyed a great man's legacy.
The best thing you could do would be to lose his number.
But I can't make you do that,
so I'm doing the one thing I can do.
I'm banning you from the premises.
* *
And what does Russell think about that?
If you really care about him, you'll go quietly.
(laughs)
Okay, okay.
Well, until you get the balls
to tell Russell that you think he's a--
sorry, what was it again, you called him?--
right, a "sad, pathetic loser,"
I will be seeing you around, Dave.
Peyton, if he sticks with you, he'll be gone before long, too.
So you tell me...
if you think he'll choose you over his career.
*
(chuckling)
Fellas.
HANK: It's not just that she's hot.
Coach W is rich and famous.
There's hotter girls he could pull.
And they wouldn't try to do his job for him, either.
Look, I think she's got some kind of blackmail on him.
-I do. -COLE: I'm telling you, dude.
She's a witch.
HANK: Oh, yeah, she's definitely a witch, dude.
(chuckles)
(scraping)
Geez, you scared me.
PEYTON: Hi.
It's late. Why are you still awake?
Uh... Couldn't sleep.
Just watching tape.
-(sighs) -You okay?
We're good.
You do your job, and you let me do mine.
(chuckles)
-(laughing) -I'm just saying,
if I were with some old, rich guy,
I don't think I'd be able to, like, coach his team for him.
-She's kind of impressive. -But, babe,
his team keeps losing.
Ooh, I think I'm gonna pee my pants.
Oh, we're seven blocks from the dorm.
No, I can't make it that far! I'm gonna whiz!
Okay, okay, just go over there.
Where? In that alley?
No, thanks, not trying to get murdered.
Babe, do you want a UTI? I'll keep lookout.
Wha-- Fine, okay.
-(laughs) -(groans)
(screams)
* *
(elevator dings)
-Oh. -Hey.
Elsbeth, watch where you're going.
Sorry, Captain, I was on my phone.
Oh. "Mayoral candidate's mysterious redhead identified."
Uh-oh, someone finally named you?
Yeah, New York Confidential. They do celebrity gossip.
I guess that makes you a celebrity?
Hardly. They spelled my name wrong.
-"Elspeth" with a "P." -Yeah.
It's actually the more common variant.
Are any of them common?
Uh, just email them with a correction.
(chuckling): Oh, no.
I wouldn't bother. Besides, who cares, right?
Certainly not me. Uh, this is Detective Taylor.
Just transferred from the 15th.
-This is closer to my kid's preschool. -Cute.
-Detective Taylor, where are we? -We've got a positive ID.
Dave Coppins. He's the athletic director.
Cause of death was blunt force trauma to the head.
-What's this about? -Two St. Ivan's students
found a body on the street
-near campus last night. -I'm headed there now, Captain.
Good, uh, the administration is gonna
want to wrap this up quick.
Ooh, sounds like an important case for the NYPD to get right.
Maybe I should tag along?
-You like college sports? -No, no.
But I had a roommate who was on the softball team.
I think she stole my Wham! album.
(clicks tongue, inhales sharply)
We've probably got it handled.
Bring Elsbeth along, just in case.
Oh. You're Elsbeth.
With a B. Like Liza.
-What? -Liza with a Z?
Sorry.
I played sports.
*
None of this was here in my day.
You went to St. Ivan's?
Class of 2012. Field hockey.
Cool.
We're very grateful to our donors.
Any working theories, Detective? I'm still in shock.
It appears he died of severe blunt force trauma to the head.
Body had signs of exposure, frostbite, women's urine,
but we accounted for that last part.
-Frostbite? -No wallet or phone.
Maybe a random mugging. It's still early.
Ooh!
Is that, uh, is that your school's mascot?
It is. The St. Ivan's Thing. We call him Thingy.
-What is it? -When they replaced the old mascot,
they let the student body vote on the new one.
-Huh. -(sighs)
Of course the students turned it into a joke.
Well, what was the old mascot?
-You don't want to know. -I really do.
Dave liked to lift weights after work.
-May we take a look? -Sure thing, Detective.
(chuckles): Ooh! Found it.
-Oh, no. That is not okay. -(scanner beeps)
* *
Dave usually worked out here late,
when he wouldn't be in any of the players' way.
Our facilities are state-of-the-art.
I'll say. Ooh.
(groans) Stuff.
-Uh, excuse me. -Oh, that's okay.
-Interesting. -Ma'am,
you can't just take people's things.
Criminal justice.
That was my major when I was here.
Oh, cool. Mine, too.
You're Jason Roberts.
My wife and kid love you, by the way.
We have season tickets.
Nice, nice.
Who, uh, are you?
This is Detective Taylor with the NYPD.
-Oh. -Dave Coppins
was found murdered on the street last night.
There's going to be an announcement.
-Detective, your associate. -Murdered? (gasps)
Uh, w-wait, do-do they know who did it?
Why? Do you?
*
Something I need to know?
Ma'am, excuse me.
Uh, we really prefer you not touch the equipment.
Right, state-of-the-art. Also, it's about to be evidence.
-Why? What do you mean? -Detective, if I could j--
-Who's that? -TAYLOR: That's Coach Willoughby.
Oh. And that's his daughter?
-ALL: No. -ELSBETH: Oh.
Oh...
Uh, Detective, I found something that you might want to see.
-Coach W. -Who's asking?
Detective Nina Taylor. NYPD.
We found the body of Dave Coppins murdered
about a block from here last night.
(laughs)
Karma.
A man is dead, Ms. Ramsey.
(gasps) You know my name.
I follow the team.
You loom pretty large these days.
(panting): Detective. Detective.
Ooh, I love your nail polish.
Is that chartreuse?
-No. -Huh.
It sucks that he got killed, but I'm not gonna act
like I'm gonna miss him.
I heard you two had a big fight yesterday.
-You didn't tell me about that. -ELSBETH: Detective--
-Got an alibi? -PEYTON: I do.
But my alibi is none of your business.
-Detective-- Oh! Wow. -What?
You scared me. Um...
-You need to see this. -(sighs)
I found the victim's school ID badge
in this cubby...
right here, but if he left for the night,
why wouldn't he take this with him?
Unless he didn't leave for the night.
I don't follow.
Well, I remembered that you told me he had frostbite,
which is strange because, when I walked Gonzo last night,
it wasn't that cold.
It doesn't have to be that cold if you're out for a long time.
-Can you get to the point? -Oh. Yes.
Uh, this is an ice therapy bath.
Very cold.
And... look at this.
What am I looking at?
Blood.
I mean, not much.
Maybe Dave was killed in the ice bath,
and then, when the killer cleaned up the mess,
they missed a spot.
I mean, it's hard to see against the school colors.
There are a lot of heavy objects around here
you could use to kill someone.
Exactly.
Maybe the killer dressed the body,
and then moved it across the street
-to make it look like a robbery. -Okay.
I'm calling this in so we can process it as a crime scene,
and then I'm gonna bring Peyton in for questioning.
Wait.
-Uh, the coach's young friend? -Yeah.
She had a fight with the victim, she's got no alibi,
and she has access to the facilities for some reason.
But...
how does such a tiny little woman...
(grunting)
...move that big body all by herself?
I'm sure we'll figure it out.
Hmm.
* *
All right, you want to tell me
what I'm looking at here, Lieutenant?
Those are the results of the department's
internal cybersecurity stress test.
I wanted to give you a heads-up because...
they identified several weak spots,
including, well, you.
Excuse me?
All department employees received an email
containing a link to an unsecured website
duped to look like the NYPD's login page.
Yeah, I remember this email.
Why won't they ever just let us use an old password?
I don't know, but it was a phishing test.
And you handed over your credentials
two minutes after the email went out.
Let me get this straight, you played a trick on me?
Not a trick, a cybersecurity stress test.
Well, it sounds like police entrapment to me.
Sir, I recognize you have some anxiety around technology--
No, I have some anxiety around whether or not my own people
are looking to make a fool of me.
Sir, departments have lost millions of dollars
to ransomware hackers using these methods.
You put the department at risk.
Oh, no, I didn't, because there were
no real hackers, there was just you.
All you need to do is pass a simple,
quick remedial retraining--
Say "remedial" one more time and find out what happens.
-Captain? -Is she here?
This isn't over.
Several players overheard Dave say
you were banned from the facilities.
And yet you were back this morning,
almost like you knew Dave wouldn't be a problem.
No, I did know that.
Because he didn't have the balls to tell Russell how he felt.
We're sending a team to your home with a warrant.
We're gonna comb through everything--
your clothes, your shampoo.
If one spec of Dave's blood turns up, you're done.
WAGNER: If there's anything we should know,
you can save everyone a lot of trouble
if you tell us now.
-Or I could hire a lawyer. -Huh?
Do you think I'm stupid?
If you're this dead set on pinning this on me,
then I'm not talking to either one of you guys.
And I want a lawyer.
I still don't understand how someone as petite as Peyton
could've moved Dave's frozen body
all the way out to the street.
Did you see her manicure?
-Flawless. -What does that have to do with it?
Well, don't you think she would have at least chipped a nail?
Maybe she had an accomplice or a good gel manicure.
WAGNER: Yeah, good point.
Have you looked into Coach Willoughby?
I'll check his alibi, but, eh.
He didn't know about Peyton's fight with Dave.
She didn't tell him,
and neither did any of the players who heard it.
-Plus... (sighs) -What?
He doesn't seem up to it.
I was excited when they announced the hire,
but it's sad seeing him like this.
He should've stayed retired.
Seems a little harsh.
They've only played three games.
It's not his record,
it's the way he's letting this woman embarrass him.
He looks ridiculous.
Trust me, she's the one calling the shots.
Are you sure you're not letting your fandom cloud your judgment?
Oh, come on. She's a nightmare.
-Exactly! -What?
It's not how you would behave
if you needed to keep a low profile.
That's your defense? She's acting too guilty?
Yes!
-Well put. -Okay, Counselor.
If your girl didn't do it,
why doesn't she just tell us her alibi?
Good question. I don't know.
Well, if you want to clear this woman, Elsbeth,
you need to find out what she was doing
the night of the murder.
*
Come with me.
Summerville.
Captain. Ms. Tascioni.
Elsbeth needs your help chasing something down.
Of-of course, sir.
Uh, thank you for the opportunity.
I won't let you down.
Okay. Calm down.
What's a cybersecurity retraining module?
SUMMERVILLE: Uh, it's...
It's embarrassing.
I failed the department phishing test.
You?
But you're so youthful.
Oh, I love those phishing tests.
They're like a game, they're like Wordle.
Only easier.
I mean, they haven't tricked me yet,
but it's fun to see all the ways they try.
That night? I was in Coach's office.
We were watching some tape.
Great, that's exactly what he said.
-Mm. -Hey, between us,
what do you make of his girlfriend?
Ooh, Peyton?
Uh... I don't know.
I mean, it's kind of weird, I guess.
She's, like, super young and he's, like, super old.
She must be a real distraction.
Not really. I mean,
the media makes it seem like it's this big thing,
but, honestly, she's given me some good tips
on monetizing my socials, yo.
Hmm. That's positive.
Yeah, and like, I was all nervous when Coach got hired,
because he used to, like, be famous
for throwing balls at players at practice and stuff.
Actually, he's been super chill.
So maybe he just needed to get laid.
-(chuckles) -Hey, is there, like, a reason
you're interviewing everybody on the court?
Oh, no, honestly...
this is just a real dream for me.
Oh, bro, in that case...
let me put one up in your honor.
*
-Ah. -Could we take a selfie?
For my kid?
Yeah, yo, got to give back.
-What up, kid? -(camera clicks)
ELSBETH: Ugh. I don't believe this.
What's that, ma'am?
Another website just spelled it wrong.
"Mysterious redhead" E-L-S-P-E-T-H.
They're just copy-pasting the New York Confidential.
Is my son the last fact-checker working in all of journalism?
Is that like a job people used to have, or...?
(phone chimes)
Oh, here we go.
-Is that your sports club? -My fantasy league, yeah.
One of my guys might actually have something.
Okay, here, pull up this morning's episode
of The Steve Trey Show.
Okay. What's that?
Uh, sports radio guy.
Okay, he says, "Start at two hours and 13 minutes."
The show is longer than two hours?
And people like that?
STEVE TREY: Well, if you're joining us,
it looks like Peyton Ramsey may not
just be an evil succubus.
She may also be a murderer, allegedly.
Uh, Big Lou from Queens, you're on with Steve Trey.
Now, in your opinion, did Peyton Ramsey murder
the St. Ivan's athletic director?
BIG LOU: I'm gonna have to say no, Steve.
No? Oh, you're in the minority here, Big Lou.
-Make your case. -I drive a cab for a living,
and, last night, I swear to God
I took Peyton Ramsey all the way out to Long Island.
No way she was anywhere near that murder when it went down.
Lou, can you verify this?
Nah, she paid cash.
But I know it was her.
And may I say, that is a fine set of--
Okay, that's enough.
Wow, if only it were always that easy.
Hmm.
So... worth checking out, huh?
With all due respect to Big Lou, it must have been a lookalike.
-Why? -Just in from the lab.
They identified some smudges found on Dave's tracksuit.
It was Elle-Meme's August Wind shade of concealer.
Guess what shade of cover-up we found at Peyton's house?
September Breeze?
We're bringing her in.
* *
-What happened to your lawyer? -He was an idiot.
And I didn't murder anyone,
so why would I pay some overpriced lobotomite
for his crap advice?
Great, well, then you can explain to me
how your makeup was found on the sweats Dave was wearing
when they found his body.
Doesn't feel like my job.
Maybe he brushed up on me that day.
I... He was a creep.
The makeup was under his armpits,
like you had it on your hands when you were lifting the body.
Well, then, someone is framing me.
* *
I still don't think this is enough to charge her.
The killer might just wear the same shade of makeup as Peyton.
Elle-Meme makes over 150 specific shades of concealer.
That would be quite the coincidence.
-Where are we on that alibi? -ELSBETH: Well, Captain.
We are not nowhere, but we are also not somewhere.
So that leaves you where?
Exactly.
Let's hold her 24 hours. Elsbeth.
You're running out of time.
Even if Coach weren't all horned up,
he'd be struggling.
-Mm. -I mean, college is a completely
different skill set from the pros.
-Yeah. -It's all about recruiting.
And with all this NIL stuff now going on.
-(groans) -Right.
And that is all very interesting,
but again, the question that I asked about 20 miles back,
how did you know it was Peyton in your cab
the night of the murder?
Did you speak with her?
Oh, I tried, yeah. There we go.
'Cause if she's the one really coaching the team,
-then, boy, do I have some advice for her. -Mm.
I mean, some of these offensive sets that they're running,
way too much pick and roll.
You know, you can't expect these young kids
to figure it out all by themselves.
-(chuckles): Totally. Yes. -Yeah.
And I really want to hear more about that,
but when you said you tried...
She said if I didn't quit yapping, she wouldn't tip.
That does sound like her.
Yeah, 'cause it was her.
Anyway, what I would have told her is
that they got to go back to the flex offense
that got them the championship in '90s.
-Absolutely. -'Cause when the '90s came around,
-it was a beautiful game, right, you know? -If I could just...
-Sure. There we go. -And there we go.
And you said that she said to drop her at this house?
That's the one. Yeah.
Do you need a ride back? 'Cause I can wait.
You know what, Lou?
I think I'll take the train.
Okay.
(trunk closes)
* *
Lieutenant.
You're looking at the freshly minted graduate
of the NYPD's remedial cybersecurity
refresher training online module.
Congratulations, Captain.
I hope you'll take these cybersecurity issues
more seriously going forward.
Mm-hmm.
Hmm.
Oh, no. No cash?
No, no, I've got some right--
Well, consider this a gesture of goodwill.
No worries about the entrapment business.
It was an internal stress test...
Never mind.
Thank you.
Hang on, Peg, someone's at my door.
-Hi. -I said no-contact delivery.
You could just leave it on the doorstep.
(chuckles): Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Sorry. I'm Elsbeth Tascioni, with a B.
And I am with the police, uh, sort of.
What does "sort of" mean?
This woman says she's with the police department.
She's dressed like a Sour Patch Kid.
I'm so sorry to bother you, but do you know this woman?
Hang on, Peg.
No, never seen her.
Really? She didn't come and visit you the other night?
Or someone who looks like her, maybe?
No. Listen, I got to go.
No, Peg, not you.
Um, so sorry.
Is there anyone else who lives here, maybe?
No. Okay? Good luck.
Have a good day.
Thank you.
Rats.
Strange.
(ball bouncing)
* *
I know where you were the night of the murder.
Cool. Me, too.
Do you think that if I order sushi to the precinct,
they'll bring it back to me?
I don't, but I do think
that while someone was murdering Dave Coppins,
you were meeting with a potential recruit,
Oliver Ashford of John Adams Junior High School.
Oof, that is one tall 14-year-old.
Is that where Oliver said I was?
He wouldn't give you up.
But, by the way, eighth grade seems very premature
for college recruiting.
You don't think he's talking to
every program in the country right now?
Well, if everyone is doing it,
then why won't you tell the truth?
Because when I do it, it's an international scandal.
Thank you.
Why do you think people react so negatively to you?
It seems like you're just trying to help.
People act like it's the age difference between me and Russ,
but, really, I just think they're miserable,
lonely, losers who hate to see two people
who are actually happy.
Right.
Have you ever tried...
...approaching people in a less conflict-forward manner?
And do what?
Act quirky and naive so people find me less threatening?
I-Is that what you think I'm doing?
Maybe it's generational.
But I do think it's a little sad that you feel like
you have to do all of that to be taken seriously.
Me? I'm just not gonna apologize for being direct.
And how's that working out for you?
You're not gonna get me to tell you where I was that night.
Besides it being illegal, it would ruin Russ's reputation.
No one would believe that he didn't know,
and it would-- it would be Tapegate all over again.
Tapegate? Uh, Big Lou used that word, too.
What's Tapegate?
So, when Russ was coaching the NBA,
the visiting team found a wiretap in their locker room.
It was the assistant coach,
and he swore that Russ didn't know.
But Russ's haters just couldn't accept that.
You know, when you win as much as Russ does,
people just want to take you down.
A bugging device.
-Interesting. -Are you sure
I can't order the sushi?
Uh, no need. You're, uh... you're free to go.
-What? -Yeah.
You might not want to admit it,
but I convinced them you were in Long Island,
so they're not pressing charges...
right now.
Feels like you could've opened with that.
(singsongy): Where are you going?
Are you gonna call someone to tell them to let me out?
H-Hello?
Elsbeth. What's going on?
-What are we doing here? -Shh.
Uh, remember?
We asked some of the players to meet us here
to, you know, sign some autographs for your son.
Right. I remember.
(whispers): Really? That would be amazing.
(whispers): Oh, no, I'm improvising.
Okay. Mm.
What kind of autographs are we looking for?
Well, uh, I'm not sure yet,
-but, um... -(snaps fingers)
...we'll know them when we see them.
Well, will we be looking for them long, do you anticipate?
Uh, hopefully...
(whispers): Ha.
Not long at all.
(mouths)
(sighs)
You should wear the new bomber I got you, babe.
Mm. Whatever you say.
I'm just glad that those police have stopped harassing you.
Right? I mean, we've had this rezzy for, like, months.
Yeah. But I don't understand how they can keep holding you
without any evidence.
I told you. It doesn't matter.
Yeah, well.
PEYTON: You just focus on the job
and I'll do...
What are you doing?
Oh. Uh, this?
I know. It's stupid.
Sorry, I just...
When we were doing that photo shoot,
I thought that you were looking at my age spots.
So I thought I'd borrow this from you for a little while.
So you've been wearing my concealer since when,
-since... since last week? -(groans softly)
Yeah, I know it's...
it's vain.
I didn't think you'd mind.
It's cute.
Well, what can I tell you?
You make me do crazy things.
* *
Why would he bug his own players' locker room?
We're guessing he installed the wire because he wanted to know
which players were talking about him and Peyton to the media.
He could've listened to the tapes late that night
and heard Dave insulting him.
Big Lou told me all about Coach's old rage issues.
Who's Big Lou?
-Don't ask. -Maybe he saw Dave
in that ice bath and, oh, he got so angry.
Just one problem.
Coach was watching tape all evening
with one of his players.
Xavier Dunlap.
The kid confirmed it.
Sounds like we have to go back
and kick the tires on this alibi.
-On it. -Will do.
(snaps fingers)
Oh, no. Did you lose something, Lieutenant?
What? No.
Hey, Elsbeth with a "B."
Nice hustle.
Coach?
Coach.
That that police lawyer?
(panting)
Coach. Whoa.
Oh, my gosh.
Let me handle her.
Whew, I'm winded. Um...
You two are very fast walkers.
Yes. Well, we have places to be.
Right. I'm sorry.
Um, I'm just, um, following up on--
Oh, by the way,
do either of you know any good orthopedists?
'Cause my knees are, um... Sorry.
Uh, following up on Dave's murder.
Uh, don't worry. I know both of your alibis.
Oh, by the way, Coach,
I've been watching a bit of game tape myself.
It is so exciting.
(chuckles) Squeak, squeak, squeak.
(imitates ball bouncing)
(inhales sharply) Foop.
(imitates crowd roaring)
Swish. (chuckles)
All that stuff.
What game were you and Xavier looking at?
No, no. Russell watches so much tape.
-Like, you can't po-- -It's okay.
I was looking at a cut-up of last week's practice.
So, if that's all you need to know,
-I got a lot to do. -Oh.
Right. I'm sorry.
Good luck, Coach!
(scanner beeping)
What are you doing here, Elsbeth?
Well, in the interest of being direct,
I'm wondering how much you trust
-your boyfriend's alibi. -No.
-Mm-mm. "Husband" now. -(gasps)
Sweet Leo.
What a rock.
When did this happen?
We got the idea at dinner last night,
and we just couldn't let it go.
-Oh. -What better way
to silence the haters?
We just got back from city hall.
Congratulations.
That's so romantic.
And it must be such a relief to have that financial security
in case anything should...
...happen to him.
I don't know what you're implying.
And as much as I would love to stand here
and answer all of your invasive questions,
that would be violating my spousal privilege.
Actually, spousal privilege
only applies in court testimony.
But I guess you fired your lawyer.
-(chuckles) -(door closes)
Ms. Tascioni.
-Hi. -Hi.
I'm afraid I have to ask you to leave.
Pardon me?
You're harassing team personnel.
And, frankly, you're becoming a distraction.
Ooh, never a good sign when they call us that.
So unless you have a warrant...
Did Coach send you out here?
Consider yourself unwelcome
-in these facilities going forward. -Oh.
Okay.
Oh. Sorry.
(imitates ball bouncing)
And swish.
Oh. Thank you, sir.
(mouths)
(elevator dings)
(phone buzzes)
Hello?
MAN: Hi. Is this Steven Connor?
Yes.
This is a courtesy call,
as we may have detected some fraud on your account.
-Okay. -I'd love to just run through
a few unusual purchases with you if you have a moment.
Did you purchase a bachelorette sash
and tiara set for $56.17?
What? No.
Okay, looks like there may have been a breach.
Let's run through a few more purchases to make sure.
A phallus-shaped pool floatie
for $86.05.
Phallus-shaped...
No. Definitely not.
I am so sorry to hear that.
May I ask, do you have your physical card on your person?
Well, no.
I can't actually find my wallet,
-so someone must have... -Lieutenant.
You left it unattended on the conference room table
after the department-wide.
I kept meaning to return it.
And yet it slipped your mind?
Well, you know, Lieutenant, protocol requires us
to report a missing badge.
I know.
But I was sure it would turn up,
and it-it's just so much paperwork.
Oh. Yeah, it's kind of like, uh...
uh, the remedial NYPD cybersecurity refresher training
online module.
You didn't actually buy a phallus-shaped pool floatie
on my card, did you?
No.
That would be fraud.
WAGNER: I trust you'll take these security matters
a bit more seriously going forward.
* *
Dude, where you been? You're super late.
I was at the police station.
What?
What's going on?
Nothing.
Come on, man. I'm your captain.
(sighs)
Bro, the other day,
Coach asked me to say
that we were watching tape together when Dave died.
He asked you to lie?
Yeah.
He said he was doing some recruiting stuff
and he didn't want them to know.
But the cops, like, figured out we lied,
and now they think it was either him or me.
For real?
Then, dude, you just got to tell them where you were.
I did. But I fell asleep in the players' lounge playing Xbox,
and I got nobody to vouch for that.
I'm freaking out.
Okay. All right. When I talked to them,
they were thinking that it was Peyton.
Apparently she had an alibi.
Really? Because I thought they had, like, forensic evidence
or something.
Okay. All right. When I talked to them,
they were thinking that it was Peyton.
XAVIER: Apparently she had an alibi.
JASON: Really? Because I thought they had, like, forensic evidence
-or something. -Yeah.
Apparently they found her makeup on Dave's body,
'cause they were asking if, like, I framed her.
JASON: How would you know what kind of makeup Peyton wears?
XAVIER: Right? Like, maybe look at the guy who lives with her.
JASON: Wow. Do you really think that Coach could've killed Dave?
XAVIER: Maybe he framed Peyton 'cause he's too afraid
to break up with her.
Before we go out there,
I want to say something.
Been a hard week, hmm?
We lost Dave Coppins.
I know that tragedy is hanging over you.
It's, um...
It's hanging over me.
So,
no one would blink if you guys went out there today
and... played like crap.
But you know what we don't do here at St. Ivan's?
We don't let adversity deflate us.
'Cause we stay in the game.
So you guys want to go out there
and shove all those expectations in their damn faces?
-(cheering) -Come on.
You guys have done the work.
Now I want to see you all go out and play the game
the way I know you can.
As Dave would want you to.
So get out there
and win this game.
For Dave. All right?
Come on! Let's go!
(cheering)
(whistling)
(chattering)
(sighs)
*
ELSBETH: Whoop.
I always wondered what kind of visibility these mascots have.
But turns out you can see pretty much everything.
You cannot be in here.
Yes, I know.
However, Thingy can go wherever he...
She?
Thingy can go wherever Thingy wants.
And did Thingy just witness you planting evidence?
Yep.
(Peyton panting)
Babe, where...
Oh, boy.
(deep voice): Let's turn to the replay!
(grunting)
Shall we?
Tune out the noise.
(normal voice): That was your philosophy.
But when Peyton said
that your own players were talking about you to the media,
you had to know which ones.
So you bugged your own locker room.
And to think-- I defended you all through Tapegate.
Late one night,
you, uh, listened
to the day's recordings and... (groans)
you heard something you didn't like.
You heard Dave confronting Peyton.
But, more important,
you heard all the stuff that no one would say to your face.
And, oh,
that pissed you off.
(grunts) It triggered your old rage issues.
(grunting)
You'd been lifting weights. Getting fit for your lady.
So when you threw something at Dave that night in the ice bath,
you didn't know your own strength.
You killed him.
You have no way of knowing this.
We know you tried to frame one of your own players just now.
Not cool, Coach.
You mind if you show us your hands?
Well, sure. I'm not wearing any makeup,
but nice try.
Oh, no.
I just need to put handcuffs on 'em.
(sighs)
(handcuffs clicking)
You know what they say.
It's not the crime.
It's the cover-up.
Hey. Thanks for the help.
All I did was ask a good friend a few questions.
Well, when you're done playing ball
and looking for a job in criminal justice,
give me a call.
(Elsbeth sighs)
I guess St. Ivan's needs a new coach.
There's always next season.
Well,
not for all of us.
I was wrong about you.
You're plenty confrontational when you need to be.
Sorry about all this.
No.
You're not.
You should lean into that.
* *
(indistinct chatter)
Officer.
Good work helping Elsbeth on this one.
And, uh...
thanks again for the help on that cyber course.
Of course, sir. It's just a fraction of the things
-I learn from you every day. -(chuckles)
You'll give me a heads-up if I ever turn into that old guy
that no one wants to tell when to move on?
Not if I'm in an ice bath, I won't.
(both chuckle)
Fair enough.
(chuckles)
(exhales)
WOMAN: You've reached the tip line
of New York Confidential.
-Give us the tea. -(beeps)
It's Els-beth.
E-L-S-B-E-T-H.
Have some integrity.
Taking a page from Peyton Ramsey's playbook, I see.
I don't know why it bothered me so much.
Oh, no one likes losing control of their narrative.
And media companies aren't always kind
to women connected to powerful men.
-Even men like Alec Bloom. -Mm.
Yeah. I really like Alec.
I'm just not so sure I'm cut out for mayoral politics.
I'm not like Peyton.
Uh, I don't know.
Yeah, she made a real Cinderella run,
but I'm not sure we'll be hearing much
from Mrs. Russell Willoughby anymore.
My guest this week is the founder of Paramour Cosmetics,
which recently sold to Elle-Meme for an eye-popping nine figures.
Peyton Ramsey, welcome to the podcast.
Thank you for having me, Ava.
Now, you developed your patented concealer formula
after the police accused you of a murder
that was actually committed by your ex-husband?
I've always loved makeup.
But being wrongfully accused really showed me
that there's a gap in the market
for high-end smudge-free products.
You have such a genius for viral marketing.
And part of that is leveraging your own personal story.
So forgive me, but I have to ask.
The rumors about you and Senator Lindsey Graham.
I've read those rumors, too, Ava.
But I choose not to dignify people's gossip with a response.
I try and stay focused on the business.
Captioning sponsored by CBS
and TOYOTA.
Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org