1 00:00:00,640 --> 00:00:03,160 The following programme contains strong language, 2 00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:06,160 scenes of a sexual nature and adult themes. 3 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:17,760 That's it. 4 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:22,360 Oh, shit! 5 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:24,400 Who dropped him? 6 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:28,000 Sort of both of us. 7 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:30,560 Sort of one of you pick him up. Yes, my lady. 8 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:34,000 Oh. Hello. 9 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:37,280 Aren't you a lovely boy? There. 10 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:46,840 No. Here. 11 00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:53,720 Before I cut you free... what shall I call you? 12 00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:58,760 Do I even bother? 13 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:02,080 Perhaps I should have left you on the floor to rot. 14 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:06,440 Do you know why? 15 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:09,800 You are my second son. 16 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:13,960 And you will inherit nothing of any human value. 17 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:19,640 What use are you to anybody? 18 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:30,480 Leave him attached for now. 19 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:35,880 And go, before I avenge the dropping business. 20 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:42,520 What of his name, my lady? 21 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:48,920 He is my George. 22 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:41,040 Good morning, George. 23 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,760 Maybe you apply it? 24 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:00,360 Is it sore, brother? Course it's fucking sore. 25 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:01,840 Could have ripped his head off. 26 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:04,360 Now he's on his deathbed like poor Daddy. 27 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:06,600 Kit! Yes, Kit. You and your sister, go. 28 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:09,720 But why can John stay, Mother? Because he's the eldest. 29 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:12,200 And I prefer him. By quite the margin. 30 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:18,960 I want to be scarred forever. 31 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:21,840 Perhaps go, Miss Ashcattle? And take that one with you. 32 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:25,560 I told you to put a cork up it, Jenny. 33 00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:28,880 He's just so... pretty. 34 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:32,880 What did you do? I don't want to go. 35 00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:35,000 All I want is Jenny. 36 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,240 I love her. She's a servant. 37 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:39,000 Not in my heart. That's not how it works. 38 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,640 That's not how a single thing - fucking works. - Well, it should be. 39 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:43,760 Are you five?! No. 40 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,440 You will go to France, George. If you make me go, 41 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:49,840 I will kill myself, but this time I will make sure- 42 00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:51,600 Fall in a way that breaks your neck? 43 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:54,080 So that's why you left me to hang? 44 00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:57,160 I left you because it was staged, you were play acting. 45 00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:59,000 It was real, I promise you. 46 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,640 You just want to send me off to France 47 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:03,000 to learn the ways of refinement. 48 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,560 And then return to marry some awful rich wife 49 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:08,840 and milk her fat fucking dowry. It's about more than that. 50 00:05:08,840 --> 00:05:11,000 No, it's not. I never beat you. 51 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,320 - Perhaps I'll begin. - Father has enough times. Why don't you? 52 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:14,920 Mother, don't hurt him. 53 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:16,800 I won't. 54 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:19,360 Think of John. Eldest and heir, 55 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:21,400 who will marry him? 56 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:25,240 How can we build and pass on anything unless we use your gifts. 57 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:27,600 What gifts? If I were a man 58 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:31,160 and I looked like you, I'd rule the fucking planet. 59 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:33,920 I don't want to rule the fucking planet. 60 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:38,520 Then it will rule you. Second sons offer nothing. Inherit nothing. 61 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:41,720 Raise yourself, or you will be nothing. 62 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:43,960 If you make me go... 63 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:46,400 I will slit my wrists. I will make sure this time- 64 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:49,400 Oh, darling, you don't have the will. 65 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:52,120 Are you scared? Is that it? 66 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:54,000 To leave me? 67 00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:59,160 Father was always against me going. 68 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,000 And while he still draws breath, his word means something. 69 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:15,440 Any final words... from anyone? 70 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,280 Better pack quick, prick. 71 00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:19,040 Apart from those? 72 00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:28,280 Uh... 73 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,200 At least he won't walk out on you. 74 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:44,200 Get rid of him. 75 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:46,680 He reeks. 76 00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:03,680 'What were you before 77 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,600 'Sir George Villiers, Knight of the Shire, 78 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:09,160 'dragged you from obscurity? 79 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:13,240 'A serving girl worth nothing.' 80 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:19,320 And like a fool, I paid off the Beaumonts so they would lie 81 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:23,760 and pretend you were one of theirs, so we might marry. 82 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:25,600 I gave you the Villiers name, 83 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,800 held by great men for 500 years. 84 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:30,960 Two hundred, at most. 85 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:38,560 And what did you give me... 86 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,680 to carry on the Villiers name? 87 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:46,760 A hollow boy. All I built dies with your John. 88 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:57,080 You built nothing but regret, and syphilis scars. 89 00:07:57,080 --> 00:07:59,960 You think you're funny, bitch? None of this is. None. 90 00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:02,800 What about that second boy, why give him my name? 91 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:04,280 As a warning. Oh. Of what? 92 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,440 Of what he might become if I fail him. 93 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:08,000 More wit. 94 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,600 And you'd use my money to send that little tart to France? 95 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,640 I will. I won't throw good money after bad. 96 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:14,440 My George, will go to France 97 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:16,840 and learn a better way than yours. 98 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:19,520 All of you can fucking burn. 99 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,280 Anymore to share? 100 00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:45,240 Fuck... 101 00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:47,040 Nor I... 102 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,800 I see you looking at all the stable lads. 103 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,600 Do you like boys too, or what? 104 00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:45,840 Shut up, Jenny. 105 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:50,320 I just want you forever. 106 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:52,640 I'm sorry about your husband's death, 107 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:55,120 but I am afraid I have more bad news. 108 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:57,320 I know you have little time for bookkeepers, even- 109 00:09:57,320 --> 00:10:00,760 Assume I have less. I want my second boy to travel overseas. 110 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:02,400 There's money for that, surely? 111 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:06,200 So, I only have the house? 112 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:09,120 Your husband signed over your house to one of his cousins. 113 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:11,120 I think to insulate it from his debt. 114 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,080 Fuck. Will the cousin sell? 115 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,320 No. You can stay, for a fixed rent. 116 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:17,440 I have to pay to live in my own house? 117 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:20,160 It's not yours, that's the crux- And-And what do I pay with, vapour? 118 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:22,160 Money. 119 00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:27,880 There is also this... 120 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:37,560 Payments made, on your behalf, a long time ago. 121 00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:39,440 To the Beaumont family. 122 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:43,040 The reason for payment is specified there. 123 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:45,360 If this became known, your position in society 124 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:47,040 would become untenable. 125 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:56,560 Never tell anyone of this. Understand? 126 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:06,840 But tell me... 127 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:08,760 what do I do for capital? 128 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:10,840 There's only one option. 129 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,240 Marry again? 130 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,920 Is there any worse Hell than a woman's? 131 00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:18,640 I could suggest suitable bachelors? 132 00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:21,600 Though you would have to wait to not seem too unseemly. 133 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:24,040 How many weeks? Four at least. 134 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:25,680 Six if you care for... 135 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:54,800 Sir Thomas Compton? Afraid so. You? 136 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:57,120 Your next wife. 137 00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:59,120 Sorry, love? Don't be. 138 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:01,400 What is this? Really? 139 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,360 A proposal. Really. 140 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:05,200 To what, marry you? 141 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,640 I'm way past all that shit and noise. 142 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:09,680 Are you? You've had enough wives? 143 00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:11,720 For two lifetimes. Three. 144 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,320 Why not live one more time? 145 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:19,520 Well, the cost, for a start. All living costs until we're free. 146 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:22,240 Mm. Well, until that day, why encourage more expense 147 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:26,040 and more pain? Companionship, no? Closeness? 148 00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:28,080 Well, that's something I've missed. 149 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:31,760 As have I. And no, I know you are self-made. 150 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:35,120 I want none of your fortune. No rights of acquisition, 151 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:39,880 or inheritance. Nothing, except... Except...? 152 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:44,360 Except before we are wed: a small stipend to cover my son's education. 153 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:47,400 Ah-ha! First, you talk like a courtesan 154 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,600 and now, just like a bookkeeper? Front and back of the same shop. 155 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:52,680 Fuck me down. 156 00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:56,080 You are forward. I have been held back far too long. 157 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:58,480 Seems to me like nothing holds you back, like you're used 158 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:00,480 to getting what you want? Oh, quite the opposite. 159 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:04,240 Why I'm presenting such favourable terms. 160 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:07,760 Come. Let us live. 161 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:11,080 You really value your son's education enough to endure me? 162 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,320 You seem entirely endurable, Sir Thomas. 163 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:18,240 And, you should know... I am Mary. 164 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:29,200 You're just spitting in it. 165 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:33,560 Just take your time. Like I showed you. 166 00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:37,520 I am to marry again. 167 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:40,720 Who? Father's barely in the ground. 168 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,000 It won't affect you, you'll be in France. 169 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,800 You leave in a few days. It's all arranged. 170 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,200 I don't want to go. 171 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,320 Your want is irrelevant. Can the music play? 172 00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:52,480 I miss the music. All I want... is Jenny. 173 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:54,240 Do you know of Jenny's family? 174 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:57,880 Her father? Her brothers? Brutes, all. 175 00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:01,160 And if you stay in England, I'll have no choice but to send her home. 176 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:04,240 She's terrified of them. I know, isn't it awful? 177 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:05,600 You wouldn't. 178 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:11,280 You cannot sacrifice her to them. Please. 179 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,400 I hate you. 180 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,600 Only because you know I'm right. 181 00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:10,880 Whoa! 182 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:15,720 Oh, he's fainted? 183 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,560 Or he's choking? 184 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:27,640 I've never left England before. I've never been out to sea. 185 00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:29,560 My French... 186 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:33,880 is so 'sans', I'll-I'll never- You have nothing to fear in France. 187 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:41,240 What if I go later? When I'm older? 188 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:42,440 You could. 189 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:44,800 But if you miss this chance, you will fail us all. 190 00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:48,760 And live, like your father, smeared in the unwashable excrement 191 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:51,160 of eternal shame. 192 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:53,200 Bon voyage. 193 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:35,120 Monsieur. I am Jean. How was your journey? 194 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:45,240 Right. 195 00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:47,840 That good? 196 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,880 Come. 197 00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:14,240 How were you hurt, friend? 198 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:18,040 Oh, uh... I took a tumble. So, you didn't try to hang yourself? 199 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,560 No. 200 00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:25,600 Where did you hear that? Your mother. 201 00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:27,760 Told me in her letters. 202 00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:30,360 It's private. She's paying me to help you. 203 00:17:30,360 --> 00:17:33,000 Like I help all the English boys who come here. 204 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,680 And how can I help you if I don't know who you are? 205 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,560 So please, do not lie to me again. 206 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,440 Or how will you become a gentleman? 207 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:08,400 'Nous voila'. 208 00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:17,360 Why-Why is there no-one here to greet me? 209 00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:20,440 In England, its customary for the household-They're busy. 210 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:23,520 Doing what? 211 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:54,840 Ah... Oh, I...I apologise, sir. 212 00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:59,200 Thank... No, thank you. 213 00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,800 Did you take me through there on purpose... 214 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,600 to humiliate me? 215 00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:19,360 The other... 216 00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:33,120 Where are we? 217 00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:34,560 France. 218 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:46,960 Come on. 219 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:49,160 Purchased the place after I made real money. 220 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,520 When we still had young children. 221 00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:54,360 Perhaps it's ill-advised, rattling around here, alone in my cage, 222 00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,600 all these years? There are worse cages. 223 00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:58,960 So, you won't mind living here? 224 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:12,200 What's wrong? Do know, Mary, 225 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,080 I'll not risk all this. 226 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:17,480 A contract must signed. Don't worry. I know just the man. 227 00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:09,800 My God, George. What is that? 228 00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:14,560 It was a gift. A gift? 229 00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:18,560 A gift? Who from, a child? 230 00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,600 Why would you do that? 231 00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:30,400 Follow me, Mr Piper. 232 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:32,720 That was a present. Oh, you want to be known 233 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:34,720 as the son of a knight who falls in love with stupid 234 00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:37,160 little serving girls and also plays a shitty pauper's flute? 235 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,840 So, you know about that, too? I know everything. 236 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:44,200 Your poor older brother. 237 00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:46,240 Your violent father. 238 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,400 How he beat you... 239 00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:52,560 ...daily. 240 00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:54,600 And you never fought back. 241 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:57,840 You just... 242 00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,240 ...took it. 243 00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:04,400 Mm. What was I supposed to do? 244 00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:07,920 Defend yourself. 245 00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:13,480 Like a man. 246 00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:15,520 Not shiver and cry, like a lost boy. 247 00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:31,200 Voila. 248 00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:37,000 Own your body. 249 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,040 Your territory. 250 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:41,800 In France, 251 00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:45,400 and even in your wet, sad excuse of a little fucking country, 252 00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:49,760 it counts for who you are, George. 253 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:53,320 Yes? 254 00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:57,440 There are rules for those who rule. 255 00:22:57,440 --> 00:22:59,480 Codes. 256 00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:04,840 Honour. 257 00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:11,960 Also... 258 00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:15,560 ...from now on... 259 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:18,320 no more English. It is like um... 260 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:24,160 ...disease of the tongue, it debases the mind. 261 00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:27,520 So, from now on... 262 00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,440 There. 263 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:12,400 Ah... 264 00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:13,680 Ooh! 265 00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:29,480 There are 15 rooms that are being decorated at the moment. 266 00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:34,600 OK. I'll report that two or three months' time would have been fine. 267 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:37,080 Thank you. Yes. 268 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:51,000 Who was that? You don't wanna know. 269 00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:52,960 How's your fetching lad doing in France? 270 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,360 He turned full frog yet? No. Tell me, who was it? 271 00:25:55,360 --> 00:25:57,960 Him? The parasite's parasite. 272 00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:01,080 Advance party. Scouting for the King. 273 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:03,360 His Majesty's summer travels bring him our way. 274 00:26:03,360 --> 00:26:05,160 He must be housed and fed, watered and wiped. 275 00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:07,200 The King will be staying here? Oh, God, fucking no. 276 00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:09,480 Our renovations won't be finished in time. 277 00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:11,560 What renovations? I thought you were the bright one 278 00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:14,200 - of your brood, Mary. - Why would you lie about having renovations? 279 00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:17,320 I put King James up once before and the big buggering goatfucker 280 00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:21,520 nearly bankrupted me ten times over. - More. - Is it not worth the price? 281 00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:24,400 How provincial are you, girl? I have never met the King. 282 00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:26,760 I should like to. 283 00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:28,840 For once in my life. 284 00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:30,960 I understand your instinct. I do, really. 285 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:33,400 But, honestly, it is a fucking nightmare. 286 00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:36,520 The Expense. Paperwork. The mess. 287 00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:38,800 Or... 288 00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:41,040 do you think you can seduce His Maj how you did me? 289 00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:43,640 - I could try. - Well, I fear you've got one too few penises 290 00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:46,280 and two too many tits. Well, I know about the King's tastes. 291 00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:50,120 But still, I'd enjoy the privilege. Time with him. 292 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:53,000 Conversation. Conversation?! 293 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:56,160 He won't give you a second fucking - glance, woman. - A first is fine. 294 00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:58,760 Look, I-I admit, I am provincial. 295 00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:00,840 My husband barely let our family leave the house. 296 00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:03,520 I've been shuttered away in the dark for so long, 297 00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:07,640 I want to emerge into the light. Let me meet His Majesty, please. 298 00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:09,720 I promise you, love. 299 00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:13,080 The King is a dead-eyed, horny-handed horror 300 00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:15,680 who surrounds himself with many deceitful, well-hung beauties 301 00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:17,040 unlike anything you know. 302 00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,480 Indulge me, husband. 303 00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,320 What's the worst a well-hung beauty can do? 304 00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:24,160 You'll find out. 305 00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:57,840 Whoa, there! 306 00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:03,080 Sir David Graham. Only Englishman on the King's staff. 307 00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:05,520 A shineless turd of a man, but I feel for him. 308 00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:08,120 Why, if he's a turd? Because he has to deal with them. 309 00:28:08,120 --> 00:28:11,280 The Well-Hung Crew. The men of the King's bedchamber. 310 00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:13,320 All Scots. 311 00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:15,760 And he, most hung: 312 00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:17,640 Earl of Somerset. 313 00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:20,440 The King's... well, every-fucking-thing. 314 00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:25,760 All of you inside! 315 00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:30,320 King James is tired, does not want to see anyone. 316 00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:48,560 King James will not be ready to see anyone until dinner. 317 00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:49,920 Is this normal? 318 00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:52,240 Nothing's normal with these cunts. 319 00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:20,920 Hm. 320 00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:40,360 Any news, my lord? 321 00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:45,280 Oh, the King is... more tired than we thought. 322 00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:48,000 He may, in fact, be very ill. 323 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:50,480 As such, he does not want to dine. 324 00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:54,720 Or anyone else to, either, 325 00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:57,640 in case the sound of your collective masticating 326 00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:00,520 echoes through to his very modest rooms 327 00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:03,560 and disturbs his fragile peace yet further. 328 00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:07,320 If King James is not himself, then of course none of us shall eat. 329 00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:12,080 But may you stay a while with us and we converse with you, my lord? 330 00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:14,120 No. 331 00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:26,520 Go. 332 00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:36,080 What is wrong with the King? You may never know. 333 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:40,520 He is prone to illness, but also moods, tempers, hangovers. 334 00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:43,720 And then you have Somerset who lies as often as he defecates. 335 00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:47,120 So... forget him, 336 00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:49,160 come to bed. 337 00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:55,320 Or are you gonna stalk the halls all night trying to get a wee glimpse? 338 00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:19,040 Why do this here? Fucking relax! 339 00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:22,720 You mean accept less than I deserve? No, I mean... No! Robert! 340 00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:24,760 Where are you going? 341 00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:31,520 What are you doing? Are you a spy? 342 00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:34,080 It is my house, my Lord. No. No. No. No. 343 00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:38,520 I am Lord Chamberlain, privy councillor. 344 00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:42,560 Wherever I am is my property for the King's business. 345 00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:48,440 What? What is it? 346 00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:51,400 You are so handsome. 347 00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:55,640 But you must be terrified, no? 348 00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:59,120 His head will turn one day for another more beautiful? 349 00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:01,760 Well, luckily, there is no such man. 350 00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:03,800 If there is we'll have to meet him. 351 00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:07,960 You really want to meet some- It was a wee joke, for fuck's sake! 352 00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:09,840 Your Majesty. 353 00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:12,920 Now, where were we before all those rash, silly words? 354 00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:16,360 Must we fight like cats? 355 00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:19,480 We should play. 356 00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:23,040 We should play like pups. 357 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,000 To the kennels. 358 00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:53,440 For a thousand years, since the Romans, since Hadrian, 359 00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:55,840 we kept the Scottish hordes at bay. 360 00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:58,520 Not much more than a decade of James' rule 361 00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:00,680 and we're over-run here at home. 362 00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:03,560 The King is Scottish. You don't want a new monarch? 363 00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:06,440 That's treason. No, I like the King. 364 00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:09,520 Even pity him. He's a... he a different kind of Celt. 365 00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:14,160 I mean that surly sodomite Somerset and his Scottish semen-guzzlers. 366 00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:17,920 So, you'd prefer we were ruled by our own plucky, homegrown sodomites? 367 00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:21,160 It would be better. 368 00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:25,280 Why? Do you know any? 369 00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:28,240 I may. 370 00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:31,760 Jean... 371 00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:58,040 George... 372 00:35:39,720 --> 00:35:41,280 Ah... 373 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:06,640 Mm. 374 00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:27,680 I don't understand. 375 00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:30,840 You said there were rules. 376 00:36:32,240 --> 00:36:34,720 Rules about how one should act... 377 00:36:34,720 --> 00:36:36,480 about honour. No, no, no. 378 00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:54,560 I like giraffes. 379 00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:57,000 Good. Me too. 380 00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:58,920 Such long necks. 381 00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:00,920 Colours of dawn and day. Mm. 382 00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:02,960 Yah! 383 00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:07,160 Whoa! 384 00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:27,520 Who's this stranger? It's me, Mother. 385 00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:29,560 My son's not due back for another week. 386 00:39:31,240 --> 00:39:33,000 Did you miss me? 387 00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:37,880 Is it George?! Welcome home. 388 00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:39,720 Whoever you are. 389 00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:44,000 Oh! 390 00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:48,600 Your new inclination... always in you, I think. 391 00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:53,320 They're more than that. They're currency. 392 00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:55,280 You married well. 393 00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:58,760 And I hear the King visits you here? It's impressive. 394 00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:01,720 Once. Briefly. Unimpressive. 395 00:40:01,720 --> 00:40:03,840 What's he like? James? 396 00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:06,080 So, cock-struck it's like a curse. 397 00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:08,880 Yes, the French say that. And laugh. Well, it's not funny to him. 398 00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:12,120 They also say how weary he is? Of Somerset? 399 00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:15,360 They argue like man - and wife. - What about mine? 400 00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:19,400 Have you found me a wife? I'm sure you have just the girl in mind? 401 00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:21,200 Hmm. I think we aim higher. 402 00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:27,280 James dines soon at Apethorpe with his brother-in-law, the Danish King. 403 00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:30,960 And a new friend tells me there are openings for cupbearers. 404 00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:34,240 You want me to hold a man's cup while he swallows? 405 00:40:34,240 --> 00:40:37,240 I'll leave the specifics to you, but it's not a man. 406 00:40:37,240 --> 00:40:38,600 It's a King. 407 00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:42,720 So, are you ready for His Majesty or not? 408 00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:54,280 Now, now... this tray of delights is fit for His Majesty. 409 00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:56,320 Well, two of their Majesties. 410 00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:59,920 The Danes' they love their meat, they do. So, what are you gonna do? 411 00:40:59,920 --> 00:41:02,440 I thought I was supposed to be serving drinks? 412 00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:04,360 You were. To be. 413 00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:06,800 Our darling lad little Laurence here was meant to be serving 414 00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:09,640 the two-king table their meat tonight, but some Devil... 415 00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:14,760 ...pulled their Devil strings and instead, it's the Devil you. 416 00:41:16,080 --> 00:41:18,080 Do be careful. 417 00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:20,000 Heavy load, that. 418 00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:22,480 Yeah... 419 00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:25,760 Thank you, chef. 420 00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:06,720 Calm yourself. Do you know the customary punishment 421 00:43:06,720 --> 00:43:09,040 for starting a physical assault in your monarch's presence? 422 00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:11,080 You lose a hand. 423 00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:16,120 As there are two kings here: it's both. 424 00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:20,480 Stop resisting my husband. He tripped me deliberately! 425 00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:23,280 Don't you dare talk back to the woman who shares my bed! 426 00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:25,840 You will be silent and still, 427 00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:27,680 or it will be a massacre. 428 00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:35,600 The other boy did trip him. Sought his own justice. 429 00:43:35,600 --> 00:43:38,280 There's no need to implement more. - All is done. - Your Majesty, I- 430 00:43:38,280 --> 00:43:41,000 Ah, ah... Does King Christian agree? 431 00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:44,640 I enjoyed the fight, but I'm here for the ale. 432 00:43:44,640 --> 00:43:48,360 And what is Queen Anne's decree? 433 00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:53,520 Same as my king's. 434 00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:57,680 Let the boy keep both wrists. You saw what you saw. 435 00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:05,320 Back to work lad. 436 00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:07,920 Music. 437 00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:50,440 Apethorpe went well, then? 438 00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:53,720 When you were young... 439 00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,040 ...did you ever disgrace your family? 440 00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:01,480 I barely knew them. 441 00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:03,360 Who raised you? 442 00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:05,360 Myself. 443 00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:07,400 I raised myself. 444 00:46:10,520 --> 00:46:11,840 No... 445 00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:16,960 ...like this. 446 00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:24,560 Do you know why you couldn't? 447 00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:27,480 Pride. 448 00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:31,520 I have none. Oh, of course you do. 449 00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:33,560 Now, tell me what happened. 450 00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:36,440 Leave nothing out. 451 00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:39,960 We face the world together. 452 00:46:42,880 --> 00:46:44,880 My first child died inside me. 453 00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:48,600 My second was John. 454 00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:52,080 And then, there was you. 455 00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:55,600 Second sons are usually a waste of life 456 00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:59,840 and yet I knew, as I held you with your grace and light, 457 00:46:59,840 --> 00:47:01,880 I might raise you up. 458 00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:08,360 I'm sorry. Why? 459 00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:14,880 I ruined everything- Self-pity is so ugly, 460 00:47:14,880 --> 00:47:16,920 leave it for the ugly. 461 00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:21,320 But beauty is fragile. It does not last. 462 00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:23,880 So, we must act quickly. 463 00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:26,360 But how? Kings do not pardon men 464 00:47:26,360 --> 00:47:29,280 for crimes done in their sight against their lover's say. 465 00:47:29,280 --> 00:47:31,320 Unless they yearn for the new. 466 00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:34,960 He saw you. 467 00:47:34,960 --> 00:47:38,200 And he will think of you tonight as he sleeps... 468 00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:40,840 wakes... defecates. 469 00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:44,680 Pleasures himself. All we need to do is get you back in his sight. 470 00:47:48,840 --> 00:47:50,840 Are you pleased with me? 471 00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:55,440 As the snake as Eve ate her dark fruit. 472 00:47:56,760 --> 00:48:00,200 If we tread right, George, he'll be yours. 473 00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:02,200 Mine. 474 00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:04,240 Ours. 475 00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:13,800 AccessibleCustomerService@sky.uk