1
00:00:08,050 --> 00:00:10,803
{\an8}誰準備好要快樂一下？

2
00:00:10,886 --> 00:00:13,139
沒錯，就是這種熱情

3
00:00:13,222 --> 00:00:17,059
參加過電視節目錄影的人請舉手

4
00:00:17,143 --> 00:00:18,310
謝謝

5
00:00:18,394 --> 00:00:20,229
只要記住

6
00:00:20,312 --> 00:00:23,023
“電影很爆笑，大家都買票”

7
00:00:23,107 --> 00:00:24,692
問你一下

8
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:26,819
我演得好嗎？

9
00:00:26,902 --> 00:00:29,447
凱哥，我是你的經紀人
你當然演得好

10
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:32,616
知道還有誰這樣想嗎？片商

11
00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:36,454
去把他們逗得哈哈大笑，美國的諧星

12
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:39,623
現場樂隊會演奏，我們會錄得很開心

13
00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:40,916
美國的諧星

14
00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:45,421
《莉亞和米奇現場秀》

15
00:00:45,504 --> 00:00:48,340
觀眾很喜歡你這部新電影

16
00:00:48,424 --> 00:00:50,050
他們超愛

17
00:00:50,134 --> 00:00:53,345
你跟巨石強森合作

18
00:00:53,429 --> 00:00:57,057
演他的搞笑小跟班
這是第六次合作嗎？

19
00:00:57,141 --> 00:00:59,560
–第六次
–你怎麼演來都沒匠氣？

20
00:00:59,643 --> 00:01:03,314
我和強森是朋友

21
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:04,690
–運氣真好
–#嫉妒

22
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,403
他也運氣好，不過我意思是

23
00:01:09,487 --> 00:01:11,906
朋友會互相成長

24
00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:14,992
能量當然也會影響，不過我想

25
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:18,621
我的角色也是英雄

26
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:24,794
不知道你們笑什麼

27
00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:28,088
我很正經，我…

28
00:01:28,172 --> 00:01:31,926
我一直想當男主角，動作明星

29
00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:34,011
不過我好像被定型了

30
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,930
大家都覺得我是諧星

31
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:38,015
–我看到你就想笑
–不是，謝謝

32
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,559
–很高興你…
–要我笑很難

33
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,437
我還有很多才華

34
00:01:43,521 --> 00:01:47,024
不只會搞笑或跳舞

35
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,192
–我…
–跳一下

36
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:49,235
跳一下

37
00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:51,362
誰想看凱文跳舞？

38
00:01:53,155 --> 00:01:56,242
–放馬卡連娜舞曲，好了嗎？
–不好吧

39
00:01:56,325 --> 00:01:57,326
不要

40
00:01:58,327 --> 00:01:59,620
我不要跳

41
00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:02,206
{\an8}–下次好了
–問一下

42
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:04,750
{\an8}你看到伊卓瑞斯艾巴

43
00:02:04,834 --> 00:02:07,419
{\an8}就會說他是動作明星

44
00:02:07,503 --> 00:02:10,381
{\an8}但假如伊卓瑞斯矮個15公分

45
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,341
{\an8}就沒人會鳥他

46
00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:15,553
{\an8}–提醒你這是現場直播
–好

47
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:18,097
{\an8}你懂我意思，沒人在乎你

48
00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:19,849
{\an8}–對
–好在他不矮

49
00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:23,018
{\an8}我知道的動作明星都沒170公分的

50
00:02:23,102 --> 00:02:27,064
{\an8}–知道有誰嗎？
–有湯姆克魯斯

51
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:30,276
{\an8}–說得好
–我們愛他，觀眾很喜歡他

52
00:02:30,359 --> 00:02:32,236
{\an8}–湯姆克魯斯
–成龍

53
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,947
{\an8}–他也不高
–他功夫了得

54
00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:37,116
{\an8}感覺你們就是混蛋

55
00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:40,911
{\an8}這是梗嗎？你…這是梗嗎？

56
00:02:40,995 --> 00:02:44,081
{\an8}好像是，回到電影

57
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,166
{\an8}聊聊這部電影精采的地方

58
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:47,585
這部電影是垃圾

59
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:51,088
–什麼？
–大爛片

60
00:02:51,547 --> 00:02:54,049
送我都不要看

61
00:02:54,133 --> 00:02:58,637
你們要看我跟巨石強森
坐在車上幾遍？

62
00:02:58,721 --> 00:03:01,223
我是搞笑小跟班，他是救命英雄

63
00:03:01,307 --> 00:03:03,601
{\an8}我的口頭禪是“見鬼了”

64
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:06,520
{\an8}–我們喜歡你這樣說
–你能再說嗎？

65
00:03:06,604 --> 00:03:08,314
{\an8}我為什麼不能當動作明星？

66
00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:10,357
我看到網路新聞

67
00:03:10,441 --> 00:03:13,819
說你怕林地生物？

68
00:03:13,903 --> 00:03:15,279
–對
–說我什麼？

69
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:18,240
–海狸？是松鼠
–就是松鼠

70
00:03:18,324 --> 00:03:20,326
說你怕松鼠

71
00:03:20,409 --> 00:03:22,620
我哪會怕松鼠

72
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:25,331
–我沒在怕
–我知道你不怕

73
00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:28,042
沒在怕的，我不只會搞笑

74
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:29,501
我是動作明星

75
00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:31,545
不要再把我當笑話

76
00:03:31,629 --> 00:03:33,547
說我是什麼不是什麼

77
00:03:33,631 --> 00:03:37,718
我沒功夫底子會這樣踢腿打拳嗎？

78
00:03:40,179 --> 00:03:41,096
–滾開
–好

79
00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:43,557
凱哥，快回到攝影棚

80
00:03:43,641 --> 00:03:45,809
–說是笑梗
–跟他們說是笑梗？

81
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,227
你不懂

82
00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:50,940
我要大家把我當一回事
當動作英雄是我的夢想

83
00:03:51,023 --> 00:03:54,568
不要做夢，你該做你擅長的事

84
00:03:54,652 --> 00:03:56,528
你剛說什麼東西？

85
00:03:56,612 --> 00:03:57,821
你要幹嘛？

86
00:04:03,035 --> 00:04:05,079
是梗，我們在練習梗

87
00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:08,582
終極哈特

88
00:04:08,666 --> 00:04:10,209
{\an8}–我沒在怕
–你說了

89
00:04:10,292 --> 00:04:12,419
{\an8}–我知道你不怕
–沒在怕的

90
00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:14,129
{\an8}我不只會搞笑

91
00:04:14,213 --> 00:04:15,631
{\an8}我是動作明星

92
00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:17,841
你不要再…

93
00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,969
那是我們的明星凱文哈特

94
00:04:20,052 --> 00:04:21,345
觀看凱文哈特“動作明星”暴走

95
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:24,223
看樣子他最近有點悶

96
00:04:24,306 --> 00:04:25,182
不誇張

97
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,350
湯姆克魯斯可不會…

98
00:04:32,147 --> 00:04:35,567
{\an8}我知道你要說什麼
你要道歉，然後…

99
00:04:35,651 --> 00:04:37,528
{\an8}不是，道歉太遲了

100
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,613
{\an8}片商廣告牌刪掉你了

101
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:43,659
{\an8}–我完了，沒戲唱了
–還有機會

102
00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:48,539
{\an8}克勞范德維想跟你見面

103
00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:52,918
{\an8}克勞范德維？

104
00:04:53,002 --> 00:04:55,504
{\an8}–你說導演嗎？
–對

105
00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:59,216
{\an8}史上六部最賣座動作片
其中四部是他執導

106
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:02,261
{\an8}他看到訪問就想見你

107
00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:05,556
{\an8}為什麼見我？這…原因不重要

108
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:09,393
{\an8}原因一點也不重要，反正我一定到

109
00:05:12,855 --> 00:05:13,897
{\an8}太好了

110
00:05:21,155 --> 00:05:24,867
{\an8}你演的電影我都看過，也都喜歡

111
00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:27,828
不過凱文，你自己卻不喜歡

112
00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:30,414
–那麼明顯嗎？
–看也知道

113
00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:33,042
我跟你同是天涯淪落人

114
00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:36,837
我拍的電影賺進幾十億

115
00:05:37,588 --> 00:05:38,630
管他的

116
00:05:38,714 --> 00:05:41,508
重點不是錢吧？

117
00:05:41,592 --> 00:05:46,013
重點是在藝術表演中找到自己

118
00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:47,514
對

119
00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:49,725
我想找到你，凱文

120
00:05:51,143 --> 00:05:52,728
你願意讓我找到你嗎？

121
00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:55,898
你找到了，我就在你眼前

122
00:05:57,232 --> 00:06:00,778
我下一部電影是嚴肅粗獷的動作片

123
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:04,281
需要嚴肅粗獷的演員

124
00:06:05,449 --> 00:06:06,658
就是你，凱文

125
00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:09,912
我要你擔綱男主角

126
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:11,955
哇靠，大哥，你…

127
00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:15,334
–沒長眼啊，走路看路
–抱歉，先生

128
00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:18,128
馬克華柏格不會罵派對服務生

129
00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:20,631
我沒罵他

130
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,966
動作明星要大氣

131
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:27,763
不會跟一般人計較芝麻小事

132
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,765
我沒計較

133
00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:31,183
完全沒計較

134
00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:35,896
你很想演這個角色就要參加受訓

135
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:38,732
頂尖動作明星都參加過

136
00:06:38,816 --> 00:06:41,026
像動作明星學校嗎？

137
00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:43,487
史特龍、范達美

138
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:47,699
史蒂芬席格和成龍都是校友

139
00:06:47,783 --> 00:06:52,621
我以為那些人都有兩把刷子

140
00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:56,708
還記得麥特戴蒙
接演傑森包恩前的樣子嗎？

141
00:06:57,835 --> 00:07:00,462
–記得，他剛得奧斯卡獎
–我也沒印象

142
00:07:00,546 --> 00:07:03,090
這個受訓計畫讓沒名氣的麥特戴蒙

143
00:07:03,173 --> 00:07:06,718
變成風靡全球的男主角

144
00:07:06,802 --> 00:07:09,930
不好意思，我不用受訓

145
00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:13,600
不用麻煩，我準備好了

146
00:07:13,684 --> 00:07:15,477
馬上就能演

147
00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:18,230
過來，凱文

148
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,775
你不用受訓

149
00:07:21,859 --> 00:07:23,777
馬上就能演角色

150
00:07:23,861 --> 00:07:28,615
你的新角色在那個頂樓等你

151
00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:32,744
去拿吧

152
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:48,385
靠

153
00:07:49,595 --> 00:07:51,805
救命，救救我

154
00:07:51,889 --> 00:07:52,973
太會演了

155
00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:56,435
他在演他著名的
《一路前行2》“救我”那場戲

156
00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:57,853
救命啊

157
00:07:59,855 --> 00:08:03,817
凱哥，我不喜歡你開車到荒郊野外

158
00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:06,028
–參加什麼…
–動作明星學校

159
00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:09,823
對啦，凱哥，還是再等等好了

160
00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:12,409
搞不好片商會忘記你暴走的事

161
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:16,622
–叫你演新的小跟班角色
–不要，這是我的大好機會

162
00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:18,415
你對我有信心吧？

163
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:20,292
有吧？

164
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:22,878
丹尼？你相信我…

165
00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:24,296
無網絡，搜尋中

166
00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:26,924
靠，收訊真爛

167
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:35,891
見鬼了

168
00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:39,269
朗威考克斯動作明星學校

169
00:08:47,319 --> 00:08:49,196
“朗威考克斯”？

170
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:52,366
嚇死人了

171
00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:54,576
不要那麼孬，凱文

172
00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:57,329
學學奧斯卡金像獎得主麥特戴蒙

173
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,666
滾開我的車

174
00:09:06,797 --> 00:09:07,798
你好

175
00:09:09,508 --> 00:09:10,634
有人嗎？

176
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:15,722
克勞范德維叫我來的

177
00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:18,976
問你啊，你們來做什麼？

178
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,270
–來幹嘛？
–我外甥在哪裡？

179
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,522
–你們好
–你外甥？

180
00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:25,732
誰知道你外甥在哪裡

181
00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:27,651
不好意思

182
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,152
你不信我？

183
00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:31,697
我知道你殺了我外甥羅德里哥

184
00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,365
胡扯，王八蛋

185
00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:34,866
我哪有殺羅德里哥

186
00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:37,160
你拿到錢，我拿到貨

187
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:40,664
我不知道羅德里哥在哪裡
搞不好他在幹你老媽

188
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,582
受訓開始了

189
00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:44,376
好

190
00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:47,337
來啊，有種來單挑

191
00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:50,007
球棒打啊，王八蛋

192
00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:53,343
你想欺負人啊

193
00:09:54,136 --> 00:09:55,053
先過我這關

194
00:09:57,347 --> 00:10:00,851
你是什麼狠角色嗎？

195
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,811
我就是狠角色

196
00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:04,438
北費城的狠

197
00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:06,064
我是凶狠的凱文…

198
00:10:15,866 --> 00:10:17,075
搞什麼鬼？

199
00:10:17,159 --> 00:10:19,661
歡迎來到朗威考克斯動作明星學校

200
00:10:19,745 --> 00:10:22,289
我是朗威考克斯，剛是第一堂課

201
00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:24,291
被球棒K頭？

202
00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:25,500
你太單純了

203
00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:27,794
球棒是塑膠做的道具

204
00:10:27,878 --> 00:10:29,087
該死的塑膠

205
00:10:29,171 --> 00:10:31,840
我被K過，知道被金屬K的感覺

206
00:10:31,923 --> 00:10:35,385
好啦，范德維先生跟我說

207
00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:38,513
你不滿課程太難就告訴他

208
00:10:38,597 --> 00:10:40,515
沒有，我沒不滿

209
00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:42,017
沒有，我超愛

210
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,394
課程很棒，給我快感

211
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:46,938
很好，我帶你參觀一下

212
00:10:47,022 --> 00:10:48,148
–好
–來吧

213
00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:52,152
這個地方1970年代以前是屠宰場

214
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:56,406
傳說動物群起反抗折磨牠們的人類

215
00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:58,909
–並把人類屠殺掉
–真要命

216
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:01,912
還有我朋友查爾斯諾里斯
我們都叫他老查

217
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:05,832
他要找地方訓練，我買下這裡指導他

218
00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:08,752
他才會是現在的動作明星

219
00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:11,755
對

220
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:14,132
他差點死在這裡

221
00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:19,388
朗威考克斯動作明星學校
就這樣誕生了

222
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:22,307
簡稱朗威考克斯屁眼校

223
00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:24,976
你剛說什麼東西？

224
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,900
麥特戴蒙…來過這裡嗎？

225
00:11:33,235 --> 00:11:35,445
小麥麥，當然來過

226
00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:39,866
麥特戴蒙來找我前
還是沒名氣的新英格蘭小咖

227
00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:42,369
連跑龍套都嫌多，瘦得要命

228
00:11:43,662 --> 00:11:45,705
我們說的是同一個麥特戴蒙？

229
00:11:45,789 --> 00:11:47,082
麥特戴蒙

230
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,877
好吧，你說…

231
00:11:50,961 --> 00:11:53,380
校規第一條，畢業前不准用手機

232
00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:56,550
我事業做很大，很遺憾我要…

233
00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:59,678
好吧，我就打給范德維先生說

234
00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:03,473
“手機校規沒用，不符合他的喜好”

235
00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:05,475
我知道你要用手機幹嘛

236
00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:08,687
你要打給好萊塢說

237
00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:11,898
“朗的學校太辛苦，我要更多毒品”

238
00:12:11,982 --> 00:12:14,317
–不是
–你會說：“我是凱文哈特

239
00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:16,278
“我要更多魚子醬和香檳”

240
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:18,155
我想跟我員工說話

241
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:21,324
好啊，手機還是要沒收

242
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:23,785
好吧

243
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:27,706
你在畢業前

244
00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:30,750
不准接觸外面的世界

245
00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:32,669
–你要住在這裡
–說什麼？

246
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:36,131
這裡有床、馬桶和洗手台

247
00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:37,716
都是現代設施

248
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:47,893
這是要磨練我

249
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,395
好，我懂

250
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:53,273
這我能應付

251
00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:57,027
靠，我也太能應付了

252
00:12:57,694 --> 00:13:00,822
校規第二條，不准在校內打炮

253
00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:04,493
捅菊花吹喇叭都不行

254
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:07,621
這裡還有誰？

255
00:13:10,332 --> 00:13:11,333
只有我

256
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,840
20分鐘後熄燈

257
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:27,724
拿球棒K我的那兩個哥倫比亞人

258
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:30,519
–是演員吧？
–沒錯

259
00:13:31,228 --> 00:13:32,729
校規第三條

260
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:33,688
聯調局

261
00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:36,650
在我的校園你的名字不叫凱文

262
00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:39,027
你是哈特探員，你要叫我

263
00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:42,739
朗威考克斯或朗
或威考克斯或朗教練

264
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,074
我喜歡朗教練

265
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,201
–你叫…
–哈特探員

266
00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:48,036
–對
–對嗎？你看我很入戲

267
00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:51,790
你給我這件聯調局外套是有原因的吧

268
00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:54,751
–什麼原因？
–麻煩你幫個忙

269
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:55,710
好

270
00:13:55,794 --> 00:13:58,588
–凱文，那張椅子拿給我
–好

271
00:13:58,672 --> 00:13:59,839
–好嗎？
–這張嗎？

272
00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:03,343
不對，笨死了
我說只對哈特探員有反應

273
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:05,011
靠

274
00:14:07,973 --> 00:14:11,309
你才說過，是我錯，抱歉
下次不會了

275
00:14:11,393 --> 00:14:13,395
–你叫我凱文好了
–好

276
00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:15,480
你從小到大有沒有聽過

277
00:14:15,564 --> 00:14:17,941
動作明星男主角叫凱文的？

278
00:14:19,651 --> 00:14:23,697
–《百貨戰警》的凱文詹姆斯？
–不是，假掰才叫凱文

279
00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:26,533
伊森韓特才是動作明星的名字

280
00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:28,243
湯姆克魯斯是我的校友

281
00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:32,747
他有九年只對伊森韓特有反應

282
00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:35,500
上戲下戲都是

283
00:14:35,584 --> 00:14:37,961
洗澡撇尿也是

284
00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:40,213
打炮沒打炮更是

285
00:14:40,297 --> 00:14:42,716
我懂了，朗教練

286
00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:44,467
是嗎？真懂嗎？

287
00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:46,011
最好是

288
00:14:46,595 --> 00:14:49,598
這是為你好，不然會要你命

289
00:14:51,308 --> 00:14:55,729
下一堂課，男主角都要會

290
00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:59,274
衝進火場救出陌生人

291
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,449
哇靠，你怎麼弄的？

292
00:15:07,532 --> 00:15:10,243
今天要救的陌生人

293
00:15:10,327 --> 00:15:14,205
是我們的動作明星假人小凱文

294
00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:19,502
–那是我嗎？
–我看不像

295
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,212
開什麼玩笑？

296
00:15:21,296 --> 00:15:23,715
這個假人跟我們好幾年了，小老弟

297
00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:24,883
見鬼了

298
00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:28,261
那是我的台詞
我在12部電影裡都講過

299
00:15:28,345 --> 00:15:30,764
–哈特探員，你自戀嗎？
–不會

300
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:33,933
–世界都繞著你轉嗎？
–不是…

301
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:36,269
你看你，再看他

302
00:15:36,353 --> 00:15:38,229
–所以我才…
–看你，再看他

303
00:15:38,313 --> 00:15:41,441
–你看像嗎？
–是有點像，大哥

304
00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:44,361
好吧，我大概是瘋了

305
00:15:45,028 --> 00:15:48,156
救命，快救我，見鬼了

306
00:15:48,239 --> 00:15:51,242
救命，快救我，見鬼了

307
00:15:51,326 --> 00:15:54,621
特技的安全性是最重要的事

308
00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:58,041
不過這樣才有特技演員吧？

309
00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:00,585
–小心
–其他人才要

310
00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:03,296
我不用，弱腳才要小心

311
00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:05,757
你的外套是防火的

312
00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:09,344
就是說你被燒到不要慌

313
00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:11,346
我會進去把火弄滅

314
00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:15,433
你會…那我放心了

315
00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:18,395
等你準備好就衝進屋子裡

316
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:21,106
找到受困民眾，再帶他到安全的地方

317
00:16:23,358 --> 00:16:24,192
是怎樣？

318
00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:27,070
你在幹嘛？我…

319
00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:29,364
吼一吼壯膽

320
00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:36,830
好熱

321
00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:39,040
熱

322
00:16:50,885 --> 00:16:52,053
熱死了

323
00:16:52,971 --> 00:16:54,556
媽的，你在哪裡？

324
00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:58,268
夭壽，我看不到

325
00:16:58,935 --> 00:16:59,936
小凱文

326
00:17:00,603 --> 00:17:01,438
不好意思

327
00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:03,940
請問是朗威考克斯嗎？

328
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,692
我是，妳好嗎？

329
00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:08,403
–我是喬丹金
–我們都在等妳

330
00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:10,363
–救命，快救我
–我來了

331
00:17:10,447 --> 00:17:12,449
–我來救你，小凱文
–見鬼了

332
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:15,243
我救你這個黑金小帥哥出去

333
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:18,747
救命，快救我，見鬼了

334
00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:21,040
–什麼東西？
–救命，快救我

335
00:17:21,124 --> 00:17:23,543
–那是誰？什麼…
–見鬼了

336
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,382
–見鬼了
–媽的，有夠熱

337
00:17:29,466 --> 00:17:31,009
給我起來

338
00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:35,930
就是很緊張，我沒演過動作片

339
00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:39,768
–只想拿出最好的表現
–演戲九成是心態

340
00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:43,271
妳會演得很好，我很會看人

341
00:17:44,606 --> 00:17:45,899
糟糕，他沒事吧？

342
00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:47,108
–真要命
–救我

343
00:17:47,192 --> 00:17:49,360
一下沒看到這個傢伙

344
00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:50,987
–就有事
–朗教練，快滅火

345
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,781
快幫我滅火，快…

346
00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:57,452
他還好嗎？

347
00:17:57,535 --> 00:17:58,745
他很好

348
00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:02,332
蓋兒加朵上過我的課
她被火燒12分鐘

349
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:04,584
自己用毯子把火弄滅

350
00:18:04,667 --> 00:18:06,419
他勉強撐到12秒

351
00:18:06,961 --> 00:18:08,213
這樣好笑嗎？

352
00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:11,841
男主角要學會
不為雞毛蒜皮的小事抓狂

353
00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:13,676
什麼雞毛蒜皮？

354
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,095
我都火燒屁股欸，朗教練

355
00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:17,013
閉嘴

356
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,599
這裡有小姐，我跟你介紹

357
00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:21,935
哈特探員，這是喬丹金探員

358
00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:24,020
–你的室友
–幸會

359
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,104
我的榮幸

360
00:18:25,188 --> 00:18:27,816
請問你為什麼好聲好氣介紹她

361
00:18:27,899 --> 00:18:29,859
她怎麼沒被球棒K頭？

362
00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:31,986
–你幾時要K她的頭？
–你說什麼？

363
00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:34,989
算了，他這樣發牢騷

364
00:18:35,073 --> 00:18:37,617
我就不理他讓他發個夠

365
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:39,786
–來，我帶妳參觀一下
–好

366
00:18:40,370 --> 00:18:43,998
這個地方1970年代以前是屠宰場

367
00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:50,421
我要說的校規第二條

368
00:18:50,505 --> 00:18:53,550
不准在校內打炮

369
00:18:54,926 --> 00:18:57,554
那不是問題

370
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:01,975
我想也是

371
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:06,312
我知道你要說明，沒關係，我懂你

372
00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:09,357
很好，休息放鬆一下

373
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:12,944
20分鐘後到訓練場集合

374
00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:16,114
–謝謝，朗，你最棒
–不用客氣

375
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:22,537
他是神經病

376
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,748
–什麼意思？
–妳問我？

377
00:19:26,207 --> 00:19:27,834
妳真的想知道？

378
00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:30,086
我剛來時差點鬧出人命

379
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:34,173
這裡有個人說他殺了
一個叫羅德里哥的人

380
00:19:34,257 --> 00:19:35,884
–羅德里哥？
–羅德里哥

381
00:19:35,967 --> 00:19:38,553
我全程目睹，走進來時

382
00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:42,432
被用球棒K頭，還不是塑膠
是硬得要命的金屬球棒

383
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:45,059
今天他讓我被火燒

384
00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:47,687
“讓我被火燒”

385
00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:49,689
妳幹嘛學我說話？對

386
00:19:49,772 --> 00:19:51,399
“讓我被…”

387
00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:52,400
我懂了

388
00:19:52,483 --> 00:19:54,986
說慢一點聽起來怪怪的

389
00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:58,698
不過妳懂我意思
這是事實，他媽的事實

390
00:19:58,781 --> 00:20:02,911
抱歉，我沒手機，這裡很怪

391
00:20:03,453 --> 00:20:07,415
害我開始胡思亂想
我大概有點快瘋了

392
00:20:07,498 --> 00:20:08,333
不知道

393
00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:11,169
好臭

394
00:20:11,753 --> 00:20:12,712
是尿

395
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,632
該死

396
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:17,926
現在有我陪你

397
00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:22,931
–所以…
–應該是吧

398
00:20:24,307 --> 00:20:25,141
我認識妳嗎？

399
00:20:28,937 --> 00:20:29,938
我認識妳

400
00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:33,775
靠，妳演過那部有機器人的情境喜劇

401
00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:36,945
機器人是管家，會跟管家吵架

402
00:20:37,028 --> 00:20:40,949
“滾開，那麼會你來啊，管家婆”

403
00:20:41,032 --> 00:20:42,075
–對
–對

404
00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:43,701
–對
–就是我

405
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:47,413
以前是，我辭演了

406
00:20:47,497 --> 00:20:50,375
凱薩琳畢格羅找我主演她下一部電影

407
00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:55,463
是大片，因為女性動作角色
也只有三個

408
00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:59,217
沒那麼少，不過恭喜

409
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:03,513
妳要我說出來嗎？

410
00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:05,848
要說就來說，有神力女超人

411
00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:07,225
黑寡婦

412
00:21:07,308 --> 00:21:10,311
還有…那個女人叫什麼…

413
00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:11,396
有那個…

414
00:21:12,146 --> 00:21:14,023
她是…

415
00:21:14,107 --> 00:21:16,192
什麼…就是三個

416
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:19,904
反正要看這間動作學校

417
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:24,158
要證明給朗看我有實力
能勝任這個角色

418
00:21:24,242 --> 00:21:27,328
妳不用證明給任何人看
妳能勝任角色

419
00:21:27,996 --> 00:21:30,665
妳從門走進來我就被迷住

420
00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:32,959
不要誤會

421
00:21:33,459 --> 00:21:35,003
沒色色的意思

422
00:21:35,086 --> 00:21:36,629
不是那個意思

423
00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:39,632
–我只是來受訓，不是交朋友
–對

424
00:21:39,716 --> 00:21:41,009
話先說清楚

425
00:21:41,092 --> 00:21:43,469
我們都是來受訓的

426
00:21:43,553 --> 00:21:44,971
–交什麼朋友
–很好

427
00:21:45,054 --> 00:21:46,097
對

428
00:21:47,223 --> 00:21:48,641
介意我上廁所嗎？

429
00:21:48,725 --> 00:21:50,560
請便，馬桶就在那裡

430
00:21:51,394 --> 00:21:53,646
麻煩你出去

431
00:21:56,774 --> 00:21:57,984
妳要撇條

432
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:07,076
這堂課的重點
是要探討動作明星的動機

433
00:22:07,535 --> 00:22:09,495
金探員，妳的動機是什麼？

434
00:22:09,579 --> 00:22:13,499
我在巴黎臥底後到羅浮宮地下室

435
00:22:13,583 --> 00:22:16,502
阻止一件古埃及文物被盜時

436
00:22:16,586 --> 00:22:18,713
被菜鳥探員狂撩

437
00:22:18,796 --> 00:22:20,131
很好，哈特探員

438
00:22:20,214 --> 00:22:22,258
狂撩？這樣說有點誇張

439
00:22:22,341 --> 00:22:23,384
講什麼東西？

440
00:22:24,218 --> 00:22:25,636
專心

441
00:22:26,763 --> 00:22:27,764
然後…

442
00:22:29,182 --> 00:22:30,975
我是探員

443
00:22:31,059 --> 00:22:32,435
–很好
–我是探員

444
00:22:32,518 --> 00:22:36,856
然後我要去找金探員

445
00:22:36,939 --> 00:22:41,611
我要在羅浮宮地下室色誘金探員

446
00:22:41,694 --> 00:22:44,781
問一下
這是什麼007同人小說嗎？

447
00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:46,074
–開拍
–什麼…

448
00:22:54,332 --> 00:22:55,166
金探員

449
00:22:56,667 --> 00:22:57,794
你是誰？

450
00:22:58,503 --> 00:22:59,337
哈特探員

451
00:23:02,715 --> 00:23:03,758
不要急著走

452
00:23:04,509 --> 00:23:06,260
妳的處境很危險

453
00:23:07,011 --> 00:23:10,181
只有跟我到我房間才能保命

454
00:23:15,937 --> 00:23:17,522
色誘她，真要命

455
00:23:19,148 --> 00:23:21,776
色誘她，引她上車

456
00:23:30,159 --> 00:23:31,285
上車

457
00:23:32,578 --> 00:23:33,412
上車

458
00:23:34,789 --> 00:23:35,998
死變態

459
00:23:46,300 --> 00:23:48,386
–剛是什麼東西？
–漂亮

460
00:23:48,469 --> 00:23:49,595
繼續

461
00:23:49,679 --> 00:23:53,182
繼續是想怎樣？搞屁啊

462
00:23:53,266 --> 00:23:55,518
–你有意見嗎？
–我有意見

463
00:23:55,601 --> 00:23:58,187
–什麼事？
–她演李小龍，我就演變態

464
00:23:58,271 --> 00:24:01,065
叫你色誘她難度太高是不是？

465
00:24:01,607 --> 00:24:03,860
對，你叫我找…

466
00:24:08,030 --> 00:24:11,534
我看穿你了，你想激我？

467
00:24:12,285 --> 00:24:15,079
沒用的，我不會上你的當

468
00:24:15,163 --> 00:24:19,083
也不會說色話跟這個柔術大師打

469
00:24:19,834 --> 00:24:21,460
你想改動機？

470
00:24:21,544 --> 00:24:24,338
–對
–你的新動機是這樣

471
00:24:24,422 --> 00:24:27,175
她是俄國間諜假扮聯調局探員

472
00:24:27,258 --> 00:24:29,177
你要用這把刀殺掉她

473
00:24:30,803 --> 00:24:32,805
–是道具刀吧？
–假刀

474
00:24:34,307 --> 00:24:36,517
過去讓她看看誰是老大

475
00:24:36,893 --> 00:24:38,436
這樣才像話

476
00:24:39,812 --> 00:24:42,023
你說她是俄國間諜吧？

477
00:24:42,106 --> 00:24:44,567
老子不愛

478
00:24:45,610 --> 00:24:46,861
間諜去死

479
00:24:50,698 --> 00:24:52,491
靠，該死

480
00:24:52,575 --> 00:24:55,369
我馬上要刺妳

481
00:24:55,453 --> 00:24:56,746
等等，這是道具刀

482
00:24:59,373 --> 00:25:00,208
什麼東西…

483
00:25:00,291 --> 00:25:02,501
要有說服力，演得像真的

484
00:25:02,585 --> 00:25:03,419
好痛

485
00:25:09,091 --> 00:25:10,468
刺什麼東西？

486
00:25:11,761 --> 00:25:12,678
真的血

487
00:25:13,721 --> 00:25:16,098
–好痛
–你刺她幹嘛？

488
00:25:16,182 --> 00:25:17,767
你刺她做什麼？

489
00:25:17,850 --> 00:25:20,603
抱歉，你不是說是假刀

490
00:25:20,686 --> 00:25:22,188
我說是實刀

491
00:25:22,271 --> 00:25:24,523
實刀就是真刀

492
00:25:24,607 --> 00:25:26,609
–血一直流
–她快昏倒了

493
00:25:26,692 --> 00:25:28,653
–靠
–我要幫她縫傷口

494
00:25:28,736 --> 00:25:30,071
我有保健箱

495
00:25:30,154 --> 00:25:31,530
–我去拿
–不用

496
00:25:32,281 --> 00:25:35,534
–回到你房間，你被禁足了
–沒關係，我去拿

497
00:25:35,618 --> 00:25:36,494
不行

498
00:25:37,370 --> 00:25:40,081
學生不准進我辦公室

499
00:25:46,837 --> 00:25:49,548
我說不准進我辦公室

500
00:25:50,549 --> 00:25:54,303
敢再不聽我的話，下次那把刀

501
00:25:54,387 --> 00:25:56,555
就會插在你腦袋上

502
00:26:07,525 --> 00:26:08,442
妳好

503
00:26:09,735 --> 00:26:12,154
幫妳拿早餐當作謝罪

504
00:26:12,947 --> 00:26:16,325
這裡的東西有點難選
滿櫃子只有牛肉乾

505
00:26:16,409 --> 00:26:19,537
看來猛男蘭迪沙瓦吉是這裡的校友

506
00:26:19,620 --> 00:26:23,666
他在遺囑裡把整個肉乾供應都留給朗

507
00:26:23,749 --> 00:26:25,167
要不要吃牛肉乾？

508
00:26:26,377 --> 00:26:28,170
陪我一起吃早餐？

509
00:26:28,254 --> 00:26:29,171
好啊

510
00:26:30,131 --> 00:26:31,465
兩份肉乾

511
00:26:36,220 --> 00:26:38,681
我想道歉

512
00:26:39,515 --> 00:26:41,350
–我不是故意…
–刺我？

513
00:26:41,434 --> 00:26:43,436
我原本不想用那個字

514
00:26:43,519 --> 00:26:45,146
朗是瘋子

515
00:26:46,147 --> 00:26:48,024
我說真的，他瘋了

516
00:26:48,524 --> 00:26:49,984
腦袋不正常的瘋子

517
00:26:50,526 --> 00:26:54,488
我敢說那個王八蛋
殺了一個叫羅德里哥的人

518
00:26:54,572 --> 00:26:57,783
看到我想進他辦公室還想殺我

519
00:26:57,867 --> 00:27:01,037
我刺傷妳的手，我知道妳不信我

520
00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:02,330
我聽到假刀

521
00:27:02,413 --> 00:27:06,625
我跟你這種人交往過
遇到事情都是別人的錯

522
00:27:07,418 --> 00:27:10,796
才不是，完全不是這樣，我錯…

523
00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:13,090
不該那樣說，因為我都是對的

524
00:27:13,174 --> 00:27:16,344
如果我錯一定會認錯

525
00:27:16,427 --> 00:27:19,847
不過這件事我沒錯，他明明說假刀

526
00:27:20,723 --> 00:27:23,809
我心裡很高興被你刺傷

527
00:27:23,893 --> 00:27:25,227
這是榮譽疤痕

528
00:27:26,020 --> 00:27:28,647
聽說傑森史塔森來這裡受訓

529
00:27:28,731 --> 00:27:31,150
被人直接刺中心臟

530
00:27:31,233 --> 00:27:34,195
–他有活嗎？
–一個禮拜後他就拍《玩命快遞》

531
00:27:34,278 --> 00:27:35,404
這麼勇

532
00:27:35,946 --> 00:27:37,740
他被刺中心臟？

533
00:27:37,823 --> 00:27:39,742
–刺穿心臟
–好慘

534
00:27:39,825 --> 00:27:42,953
可能我來這裡錯了

535
00:27:44,038 --> 00:27:46,415
說不定這不適合我

536
00:27:47,166 --> 00:27:48,376
那就走啊

537
00:27:49,043 --> 00:27:53,089
回家一定有真正的英雄
要找傻傻的小跟班

538
00:27:53,172 --> 00:27:54,632
被嗆了

539
00:27:54,715 --> 00:27:57,176
我以為妳會安慰我

540
00:27:57,259 --> 00:28:01,055
勸我留下來，說這適合我

541
00:28:01,138 --> 00:28:04,016
–我以為是這樣
–你要我說什麼？

542
00:28:04,100 --> 00:28:08,521
主演克勞范德維的電影
還要人給你動機

543
00:28:09,188 --> 00:28:10,898
那你走錯行了

544
00:28:10,981 --> 00:28:14,735
這可能是我當動作大明星的唯一機會

545
00:28:14,819 --> 00:28:16,570
我不會讓機會溜走

546
00:28:17,405 --> 00:28:19,115
我會拚到底

547
00:28:22,785 --> 00:28:23,786
沒錯

548
00:28:25,162 --> 00:28:26,789
妳說得很對

549
00:28:28,332 --> 00:28:30,626
我不能再埋怨不滿

550
00:28:30,709 --> 00:28:32,461
我要像個男人

551
00:28:32,545 --> 00:28:33,754
就是這種精神

552
00:28:39,218 --> 00:28:42,805
我剛進這行訓練動作明星時

553
00:28:42,888 --> 00:28:45,224
每場特技戲都是來真的

554
00:28:45,307 --> 00:28:48,102
凱文會說“假刀”

555
00:28:48,185 --> 00:28:50,146
真幽默，好棒

556
00:28:50,229 --> 00:28:52,648
–不好笑
–不過電影產業變了

557
00:28:52,731 --> 00:28:56,318
不會拍綠幕就不能當動作明星

558
00:28:56,402 --> 00:28:59,155
綠幕我很熟

559
00:28:59,238 --> 00:29:01,991
我拍過15部電影都有用綠幕

560
00:29:02,074 --> 00:29:04,994
那15部電影有幾部你是男主角？

561
00:29:05,077 --> 00:29:09,540
隨便抓個傻蛋都會跳上綠幕
假裝被電腦合成龍吃掉

562
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,168
連小凱文也會

563
00:29:12,251 --> 00:29:13,085
見鬼了

564
00:29:13,169 --> 00:29:16,088
是誰那麼閒把他打扮得像我？

565
00:29:16,172 --> 00:29:17,381
–真是…
–問題

566
00:29:17,465 --> 00:29:20,092
有什麼綠幕動作是男女主角必做

567
00:29:20,176 --> 00:29:23,220
小跟班不必做的？

568
00:29:23,304 --> 00:29:25,639
–打贏
–殺壞人

569
00:29:25,723 --> 00:29:26,724
做愛

570
00:29:27,641 --> 00:29:30,102
今天要教的是做愛

571
00:29:30,186 --> 00:29:31,437
爽

572
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:34,356
綠幕上做？要在綠幕上做嗎？

573
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:35,858
–答對了
–不錯

574
00:29:35,941 --> 00:29:39,069
加上床和牆的效果，超酷

575
00:29:39,153 --> 00:29:42,740
我就直說了，我不想跟他拍床戲

576
00:29:42,823 --> 00:29:45,910
沒關係，我也不想跟她拍床戲

577
00:29:50,831 --> 00:29:51,790
有什麼好笑的？

578
00:29:51,874 --> 00:29:54,627
看看你，再看她

579
00:29:54,710 --> 00:29:56,629
看你，再看她

580
00:29:56,712 --> 00:29:58,088
再看你，再看她

581
00:29:58,172 --> 00:30:00,841
我聽不懂，笑點是什麼？
我漏掉什麼？

582
00:30:00,925 --> 00:30:03,344
換個方法說好了

583
00:30:03,427 --> 00:30:05,513
看看你，再看她

584
00:30:05,596 --> 00:30:07,306
看你，再看她

585
00:30:07,389 --> 00:30:09,934
拜託趕快拍一拍好不好

586
00:30:10,684 --> 00:30:12,561
我們先討論動機

587
00:30:13,145 --> 00:30:16,273
差點自相殘殺後

588
00:30:16,357 --> 00:30:20,152
哈特探員和金探員發現他們不是敵人

589
00:30:20,236 --> 00:30:22,071
拆除炸彈後

590
00:30:22,154 --> 00:30:25,908
在摩天大樓頂樓一陣天搖地動

591
00:30:25,991 --> 00:30:29,245
你們發現彼此乾柴烈火

592
00:30:31,247 --> 00:30:34,583
我們在摩天大樓頂樓突然發生地震？

593
00:30:34,667 --> 00:30:36,377
對啦，真要命

594
00:30:36,460 --> 00:30:39,171
你是我訓練過最笨的演員

595
00:30:39,255 --> 00:30:40,923
開始，開拍

596
00:30:41,006 --> 00:30:42,550
16秒、15秒、14秒

597
00:30:42,633 --> 00:30:45,636
–紅線還是藍線？
–一定是紅線

598
00:30:45,719 --> 00:30:46,845
你確定？

599
00:30:46,929 --> 00:30:49,682
–哈特探員，你確定？
–不知道

600
00:30:49,765 --> 00:30:51,058
7秒、6秒

601
00:30:53,269 --> 00:30:54,478
4秒、3秒

602
00:30:55,521 --> 00:30:56,480
2秒、1秒

603
00:31:15,249 --> 00:31:18,419
地震，天搖地動，大樓要倒塌了

604
00:31:19,086 --> 00:31:20,004
–好
–好

605
00:31:20,963 --> 00:31:21,922
很好，非常好

606
00:31:25,050 --> 00:31:27,720
靠，等等

607
00:31:28,470 --> 00:31:30,431
–妳在哪裡？等等
–凱文

608
00:31:30,514 --> 00:31:32,433
等我一下

609
00:31:32,516 --> 00:31:34,101
–靠
–好

610
00:31:34,184 --> 00:31:36,770
來吧，是地震

611
00:31:36,854 --> 00:31:37,938
–對
–開始

612
00:31:38,022 --> 00:31:41,108
哈特探員，我們居然拆除那個炸彈

613
00:31:41,191 --> 00:31:43,485
救了數千人的命，甚至數百萬人

614
00:31:43,569 --> 00:31:46,488
這次地震大概有7.5級

615
00:31:47,239 --> 00:31:50,200
這可能是我們死前最後一次相聚

616
00:31:50,909 --> 00:31:53,120
現在輕吻她的脖子開始打炮

617
00:31:54,330 --> 00:31:57,583
什麼？等等，吻她的脖子
然後開始打炮？

618
00:31:57,666 --> 00:32:01,253
–輕吻她的脖子開始打炮
–好

619
00:32:02,087 --> 00:32:03,881
我要照他說的做

620
00:32:03,964 --> 00:32:04,798
沒關係

621
00:32:04,882 --> 00:32:08,552
–讓我抓妳的…過來
–要性感，快動

622
00:32:09,178 --> 00:32:11,138
–抓我的腿
–腿給我

623
00:32:11,221 --> 00:32:13,474
你們沒打過炮是不是？快做

624
00:32:13,557 --> 00:32:15,434
–不是…
–要弄直

625
00:32:15,517 --> 00:32:17,811
–等一下，好了
–我想…好了

626
00:32:17,895 --> 00:32:21,190
–快點
–哈特探員，不行這樣

627
00:32:21,732 --> 00:32:23,484
會違反局裡規定

628
00:32:24,526 --> 00:32:26,904
規定就是要打破

629
00:32:31,867 --> 00:32:33,410
救命，不要放手

630
00:32:33,494 --> 00:32:36,121
拜託不要放手

631
00:32:36,205 --> 00:32:38,040
–我不會放手
–不要放

632
00:32:38,123 --> 00:32:39,416
我保證不會放手

633
00:32:39,500 --> 00:32:41,585
麻煩妳靠近一點

634
00:32:41,669 --> 00:32:43,087
救救我

635
00:32:43,545 --> 00:32:44,797
我太年輕不能死

636
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:47,007
鏡頭再靠近會被發現

637
00:32:47,091 --> 00:32:49,009
很好，不要動

638
00:32:49,093 --> 00:32:50,969
–我抓緊你
–完美

639
00:32:51,053 --> 00:32:53,931
–救命
–凱文，你離地面才30公分

640
00:32:54,014 --> 00:32:56,475
那種演技是教不來的

641
00:32:56,558 --> 00:32:58,602
我會放開讓你下去

642
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:07,361
20分鐘後熄燈，不准搞怪

643
00:33:08,195 --> 00:33:09,279
還有不准打炮

644
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,999
妳信我了吧？他是神經病

645
00:33:22,042 --> 00:33:25,963
你的鋼絲斷掉
看起來確實像詭異的巧合

646
00:33:26,046 --> 00:33:28,006
巧合？超扯好不好

647
00:33:28,090 --> 00:33:31,009
那條鋼絲堅固到能吊一頭大象

648
00:33:31,093 --> 00:33:33,554
–妳的手機呢？
–被他沒收了

649
00:33:49,278 --> 00:33:51,780
凱文，他說熄燈後不能出去

650
00:33:52,489 --> 00:33:54,074
他又不是營地大哥哥

651
00:33:54,158 --> 00:33:57,661
我要出去拿回我的手機

652
00:33:57,745 --> 00:34:01,707
還要看清楚他藏在辦公室
不可告人的事

653
00:34:02,499 --> 00:34:04,126
凱文，不要

654
00:34:29,485 --> 00:34:31,945
–小朗弟
–大哥

655
00:34:33,781 --> 00:34:34,948
請坐

656
00:34:36,700 --> 00:34:38,494
請調出第12場戲

657
00:34:39,620 --> 00:34:40,829
請坐

658
00:34:42,873 --> 00:34:45,375
–這樣做不好
–好得不得了

659
00:34:45,459 --> 00:34:47,920
威考克斯不會在妳面前殺掉我

660
00:34:48,003 --> 00:34:50,547
快點，他辦公室到了

661
00:34:50,631 --> 00:34:51,632
好

662
00:34:52,174 --> 00:34:53,175
靠

663
00:34:54,218 --> 00:34:55,636
有髮夾嗎？

664
00:34:56,345 --> 00:34:59,473
夾在我後腦杓的包包頭

665
00:34:59,556 --> 00:35:03,143
不要酸人，我來找迴紋針，讓開

666
00:35:05,187 --> 00:35:06,897
等等，妳會開鎖？

667
00:35:06,980 --> 00:35:09,316
芝加哥南區土生土長

668
00:35:09,399 --> 00:35:12,694
沒北費城狠，不過我不會嫌棄妳

669
00:35:12,778 --> 00:35:14,071
–找到了
–很好

670
00:35:18,617 --> 00:35:21,370
{\an8}媽的，你在哪裡？

671
00:35:21,912 --> 00:35:23,997
{\an8}夭壽，我看不到

672
00:35:25,249 --> 00:35:27,876
{\an8}–你在哪裡？
–救命，快救我

673
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:30,254
{\an8}–我來救你，小凱文
–見鬼了

674
00:35:31,296 --> 00:35:32,923
{\an8}–救命
–媽的，有夠熱

675
00:35:37,094 --> 00:35:40,347
你說得很對，演得很逼真

676
00:35:40,430 --> 00:35:43,350
–他完全不知道他被拍
–沒錯

677
00:35:43,433 --> 00:35:46,520
我一直在追求這種真實電影風格

678
00:35:46,603 --> 00:35:50,566
製作寫實硬底子動作片很多年

679
00:35:50,649 --> 00:35:53,360
結果都沒成功

680
00:35:53,443 --> 00:35:56,029
原來我只欠一個玻璃心演員

681
00:35:56,488 --> 00:36:00,117
脆弱，害怕被遺忘

682
00:36:01,660 --> 00:36:03,954
{\an8}害怕被遺忘

683
00:36:04,454 --> 00:36:05,539
{\an8}謝謝，凱文

684
00:36:06,331 --> 00:36:07,332
{\an8}你是上天的禮物

685
00:36:08,125 --> 00:36:09,126
{\an8}謝謝

686
00:36:16,633 --> 00:36:19,303
明天的戲有問題嗎？

687
00:36:19,386 --> 00:36:22,556
沒有，克勞，好累

688
00:36:22,639 --> 00:36:23,932
我好累

689
00:36:25,183 --> 00:36:27,185
我應該回片場了

690
00:36:27,311 --> 00:36:28,687
–晚安
–晚安

691
00:36:28,770 --> 00:36:30,480
–我很喜歡
–謝謝

692
00:36:33,609 --> 00:36:34,693
再放一遍

693
00:36:38,322 --> 00:36:40,741
能不能問妳一個問題？

694
00:36:41,366 --> 00:36:44,745
–好
–妳還記得今天早上

695
00:36:44,828 --> 00:36:47,497
我們在綠幕拍戲

696
00:36:47,581 --> 00:36:49,917
就在鋼絲斷掉前

697
00:36:50,792 --> 00:36:53,879
妳好像有點投入

698
00:36:54,546 --> 00:36:55,797
這叫演戲

699
00:36:57,507 --> 00:36:59,635
妳演得好像很想吻我

700
00:37:00,135 --> 00:37:01,136
開了

701
00:37:02,346 --> 00:37:05,265
太好了

702
00:37:14,191 --> 00:37:16,193
快點找

703
00:37:18,070 --> 00:37:20,489
混蛋，想偷我的東西

704
00:37:21,406 --> 00:37:22,616
哈比小賤人

705
00:37:38,465 --> 00:37:41,009
–有發現嗎？
–沒有，你呢？

706
00:37:41,551 --> 00:37:43,971
他滿抽屜都是舊大頭照

707
00:37:47,099 --> 00:37:50,102
{\an8}朗教練，你是我靈魂最黑暗處的
一盞明燈

708
00:37:50,185 --> 00:37:51,019
{\an8}杜夫朗格

709
00:37:51,103 --> 00:37:52,479
{\an8}什麼鳥意思？

710
00:37:52,562 --> 00:37:55,232
–最好趕快離開
–不要那麼急

711
00:37:55,315 --> 00:37:58,860
他有秘密瞞著我們，趕快找

712
00:37:59,903 --> 00:38:03,615
搞不好有什麼秘密隔間

713
00:38:03,699 --> 00:38:04,950
摸到了

714
00:38:06,201 --> 00:38:08,161
–看吧
–真的假的

715
00:38:12,833 --> 00:38:14,960
這裡還有鎖給妳開

716
00:38:15,043 --> 00:38:17,087
–裡面有什麼？
–不知道

717
00:38:17,170 --> 00:38:19,506
他不想被人發現的秘密

718
00:38:21,008 --> 00:38:22,050
慘了

719
00:38:29,891 --> 00:38:32,728
小妖精，你逃不了

720
00:38:58,962 --> 00:39:00,589
真有意思

721
00:39:01,798 --> 00:39:06,928
我知道你們兩個在裝睡，沒關係

722
00:39:07,012 --> 00:39:08,722
這大概是你們這輩子

723
00:39:08,805 --> 00:39:11,892
演得最好的一次

724
00:39:11,975 --> 00:39:13,602
尤其是你，哈特探員

725
00:39:14,436 --> 00:39:19,566
不過你們要是擅自離開宿舍
被我抓到的話

726
00:39:19,649 --> 00:39:22,069
我包準會讓你們後悔踏進

727
00:39:22,152 --> 00:39:24,404
朗威考克斯動作明星學校

728
00:39:33,371 --> 00:39:36,541
你們不是裝睡的話
就會被吵醒

729
00:39:58,897 --> 00:40:02,067
–剛才好險
–還用妳說

730
00:40:22,629 --> 00:40:25,882
凱文，晚點再開，我們該到攝影棚

731
00:40:25,966 --> 00:40:27,801
快敲開了，等一下

732
00:40:31,555 --> 00:40:32,430
可惡

733
00:40:33,056 --> 00:40:34,808
開了

734
00:40:37,102 --> 00:40:38,270
是一條項鍊

735
00:40:38,937 --> 00:40:40,522
上面有字母RBG

736
00:40:41,106 --> 00:40:43,775
R代表羅德里哥，被殺掉的那個人

737
00:40:44,109 --> 00:40:45,861
凱文，不要再說了

738
00:40:45,944 --> 00:40:49,406
要把那個鐵盒放回他辦公室
免得被他發現

739
00:40:49,489 --> 00:40:50,740
快起床，快點來上課

740
00:40:50,824 --> 00:40:52,409
–快點
–可惡

741
00:40:52,951 --> 00:40:54,578
鐵盒放妳那邊

742
00:41:04,504 --> 00:41:08,508
同學，今天很好玩也很重要

743
00:41:08,592 --> 00:41:11,720
那個門後有個大驚喜要給你們

744
00:41:11,803 --> 00:41:14,181
–第一次看到陽光？
–不是

745
00:41:14,264 --> 00:41:17,726
–還有誰要猜？
–黑豹衝出來咬死我們？

746
00:41:17,809 --> 00:41:19,477
越來越接近了

747
00:41:19,561 --> 00:41:20,896
什麼越來越接近？

748
00:41:20,979 --> 00:41:22,606
牛肉乾以外的蛋白質

749
00:41:22,689 --> 00:41:24,232
–看好
–那就太好了

750
00:41:24,316 --> 00:41:26,276
–真離譜
–水果奶昔？

751
00:41:27,527 --> 00:41:28,820
喬許哈奈特

752
00:41:30,780 --> 00:41:32,032
小心

753
00:41:32,741 --> 00:41:33,950
不要碰我

754
00:41:35,368 --> 00:41:37,078
我最喜歡的校友

755
00:41:37,162 --> 00:41:40,081
–1999年4月第三個禮拜來上課
–不要說了

756
00:41:40,165 --> 00:41:41,750
–少來
–好美

757
00:41:41,833 --> 00:41:44,336
妳實在太美了

758
00:41:47,088 --> 00:41:49,382
你吻…

759
00:41:49,466 --> 00:41:50,634
你好會笑

760
00:41:50,717 --> 00:41:52,802
–可愛
–妳剛說什麼東西？

761
00:41:52,886 --> 00:41:55,889
老凱，很高興你來這裡
這會改變你的人生

762
00:41:55,972 --> 00:41:59,184
朗教完我後
我拍了《珍珠港》、《黑鷹計畫》

763
00:41:59,267 --> 00:42:00,268
《好萊塢重案組》

764
00:42:00,352 --> 00:42:03,688
–最後那個應該不算
–我剛來菜得要命

765
00:42:03,772 --> 00:42:05,440
瘦得跟什麼一樣

766
00:42:05,523 --> 00:42:07,734
受訓完後我感覺無敵

767
00:42:07,817 --> 00:42:10,946
好像奧斯卡金像獎得主
麥特戴蒙之類的

768
00:42:11,863 --> 00:42:13,448
你好誇張，他有夠誇張

769
00:42:13,531 --> 00:42:15,909
你們敘敘舊，金探員

770
00:42:15,992 --> 00:42:17,827
–是
–過來聊聊動機

771
00:42:18,328 --> 00:42:19,996
–再見
–很高興認識妳

772
00:42:22,374 --> 00:42:23,375
老凱

773
00:42:23,833 --> 00:42:26,586
–最近好嗎？
–不太好

774
00:42:26,670 --> 00:42:29,089
這個地方分明就是監獄

775
00:42:29,172 --> 00:42:31,007
朗教練好像想殺我

776
00:42:31,091 --> 00:42:33,218
他的教法就是這樣，他是暖男

777
00:42:33,301 --> 00:42:34,678
暖什麼男

778
00:42:34,761 --> 00:42:38,056
他跟暖男完全搭不上邊，他殺了人

779
00:42:38,139 --> 00:42:40,517
他殺了哥倫比亞毒梟

780
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:43,270
真的，一個叫羅德里哥的人來過這裡

781
00:42:43,353 --> 00:42:46,356
–笑死我了，老凱
–他殺了他

782
00:42:48,233 --> 00:42:50,235
–你是認真的
–超認真

783
00:42:50,318 --> 00:42:53,905
我偷溜進他辦公室找到殺人證據

784
00:42:53,989 --> 00:42:55,699
是一條項鍊，上面有字母RBG

785
00:42:55,782 --> 00:42:58,159
朗殺了人還留下項鍊？

786
00:42:58,285 --> 00:42:59,869
像冷血殺手戴克斯特？

787
00:42:59,953 --> 00:43:01,079
喬許，聽我說

788
00:43:01,162 --> 00:43:03,081
–好
–要報警

789
00:43:03,164 --> 00:43:05,208
–要找人進來
–好

790
00:43:05,292 --> 00:43:08,378
–我是說聯邦探員…
–你們在聊什麼？

791
00:43:08,461 --> 00:43:11,339
沒什麼，我們在聊健身

792
00:43:11,423 --> 00:43:12,507
沒聊什麼

793
00:43:12,590 --> 00:43:13,842
我的乾女兒好不好？

794
00:43:14,551 --> 00:43:16,177
她長得好快

795
00:43:16,261 --> 00:43:17,262
我看看

796
00:43:17,345 --> 00:43:19,097
–乾女兒？
–我看

797
00:43:19,180 --> 00:43:20,015
看看她

798
00:43:20,682 --> 00:43:22,142
她很想朗叔

799
00:43:22,225 --> 00:43:25,687
你轉告她朗叔也很想她

800
00:43:27,522 --> 00:43:29,691
你哭什麼？

801
00:43:29,774 --> 00:43:30,692
還好嗎？

802
00:43:30,984 --> 00:43:32,110
沒事

803
00:43:33,987 --> 00:43:35,947
我找不到我的特製項鍊

804
00:43:36,489 --> 00:43:38,867
我特地請人加上姓名縮寫RBG那條

805
00:43:38,950 --> 00:43:41,286
–露絲拜德金斯伯格
–沒關係

806
00:43:41,369 --> 00:43:43,830
她是我最喜歡的最高法院法官

807
00:43:43,913 --> 00:43:45,874
我喜歡她獨排眾議

808
00:43:45,957 --> 00:43:49,169
跟你說，不要被我找到誰偷走

809
00:43:49,252 --> 00:43:51,296
我會殺了他

810
00:43:51,379 --> 00:43:53,840
不要往壞處想

811
00:43:54,257 --> 00:43:56,551
很快就會找到項鍊的

812
00:43:57,635 --> 00:44:00,263
我向你保證很快就會找到

813
00:44:02,599 --> 00:44:04,976
今天要教槍枝特技

814
00:44:05,060 --> 00:44:08,897
哈奈特警官是變壞的貪汙警察

815
00:44:09,022 --> 00:44:10,357
還有金探員

816
00:44:10,482 --> 00:44:11,816
哈特探員

817
00:44:11,900 --> 00:44:14,444
你們最後在拆車廠找到他

818
00:44:14,569 --> 00:44:17,072
也是槍戰發生的地方

819
00:44:17,155 --> 00:44:18,948
–這是你的槍
–真好

820
00:44:19,032 --> 00:44:21,993
不准那樣拿槍

821
00:44:22,077 --> 00:44:23,161
要從槍把拿

822
00:44:23,244 --> 00:44:25,413
–你槍頭對著我
–那是考你

823
00:44:25,497 --> 00:44:26,623
你當掉了

824
00:44:26,790 --> 00:44:29,959
槍裡有子彈

825
00:44:30,043 --> 00:44:33,546
拜託拿槍要小心

826
00:44:33,630 --> 00:44:36,466
也還好，裡面是空包彈吧？

827
00:44:36,549 --> 00:44:39,386
不是真的子彈，是空包彈吧？

828
00:44:40,970 --> 00:44:43,640
朗教練，這樣不行

829
00:44:43,723 --> 00:44:46,684
我要你口頭確認槍裡是空包彈

830
00:44:46,768 --> 00:44:49,396
–你說呢？
–槍裡是不是空包彈？

831
00:44:49,479 --> 00:44:51,606
拜託，凱文，不要在狀況外

832
00:44:51,689 --> 00:44:52,816
我很在狀況內

833
00:44:52,899 --> 00:44:56,319
只是安全起見，他還是不說是不是

834
00:44:56,403 --> 00:44:57,404
是空包彈

835
00:44:57,487 --> 00:44:58,655
你聽到了

836
00:44:58,738 --> 00:45:00,532
大家去換戲服

837
00:45:00,615 --> 00:45:04,411
十分鐘後集合，開始槍戰，快點

838
00:45:07,956 --> 00:45:10,417
你在幹嘛？快換戲服

839
00:45:10,500 --> 00:45:12,001
休想，我不幹

840
00:45:12,085 --> 00:45:14,754
你太疑神疑鬼，他說是空包彈

841
00:45:14,838 --> 00:45:16,381
我的槍是空包彈

842
00:45:16,464 --> 00:45:20,218
我相信，不過妳和喬許的手槍
鐵定是真槍實彈

843
00:45:20,301 --> 00:45:21,886
朗想殺我沒殺成

844
00:45:21,970 --> 00:45:24,472
他大概會奧步出到底

845
00:45:24,556 --> 00:45:27,183
我不幹，想弄成意外

846
00:45:27,267 --> 00:45:28,685
就是這樣

847
00:45:28,768 --> 00:45:33,064
凱文哈特在朗威考克斯
動作明星學校意外身亡

848
00:45:33,189 --> 00:45:34,649
不用，謝謝

849
00:45:34,732 --> 00:45:38,736
喬許絕對不會點頭，他親切體貼

850
00:45:38,820 --> 00:45:39,946
鐵定也很溫柔

851
00:45:40,572 --> 00:45:41,489
大概吧

852
00:45:41,948 --> 00:45:43,324
那邊是怎樣？

853
00:45:43,825 --> 00:45:45,535
他才不是那樣的人

854
00:45:45,618 --> 00:45:47,370
他和朗是麻吉

855
00:45:47,454 --> 00:45:50,290
還是他小孩的乾爸，居然沒跟我說

856
00:45:50,373 --> 00:45:52,709
–他們知道項鍊被我拿走
–放回去就好了

857
00:45:52,792 --> 00:45:54,627
不行，太晚了

858
00:45:54,711 --> 00:45:58,798
他們知道項鍊在我手上
留下來不安全，我要閃了

859
00:45:58,882 --> 00:46:00,925
你就這樣放棄畢生的夢想

860
00:46:01,009 --> 00:46:03,094
因為怕中槍？

861
00:46:03,178 --> 00:46:04,471
去他媽的夢想

862
00:46:05,346 --> 00:46:06,598
我要走了

863
00:46:07,724 --> 00:46:08,933
妳有一個選擇

864
00:46:11,227 --> 00:46:12,145
跟我走

865
00:46:18,026 --> 00:46:19,027
不行

866
00:46:19,903 --> 00:46:20,904
抱歉

867
00:46:21,905 --> 00:46:23,114
這是我的機會

868
00:46:23,740 --> 00:46:24,741
我懂

869
00:46:26,117 --> 00:46:28,203
這是妳應得的機會

870
00:46:33,666 --> 00:46:34,751
好吧

871
00:46:36,002 --> 00:46:37,003
中指不錯

872
00:46:45,720 --> 00:46:46,888
轉過去

873
00:46:46,971 --> 00:46:48,264
–一、二、三
–開始

874
00:46:50,767 --> 00:46:51,726
很好

875
00:47:01,736 --> 00:47:02,779
真是夠了

876
00:47:06,032 --> 00:47:07,534
我的車跑去哪裡？

877
00:47:11,788 --> 00:47:13,248
開什麼玩笑

878
00:47:19,837 --> 00:47:21,589
王八蛋

879
00:47:37,605 --> 00:47:38,690
他殺了我的車

880
00:47:39,190 --> 00:47:41,025
我的愛車被他毀了

881
00:47:41,693 --> 00:47:43,403
凱文

882
00:47:43,653 --> 00:47:45,196
凱文

883
00:47:46,197 --> 00:47:48,241
你在哪裡？

884
00:47:48,366 --> 00:47:51,828
快出來，我知道你躲在哪裡

885
00:47:51,911 --> 00:47:53,121
慘了

886
00:48:16,644 --> 00:48:18,187
嚇死人了

887
00:48:19,897 --> 00:48:21,357
該死的松鼠

888
00:48:21,733 --> 00:48:22,567
靠

889
00:48:22,650 --> 00:48:23,985
快滾開

890
00:48:25,236 --> 00:48:26,237
快滾，松鼠

891
00:48:29,657 --> 00:48:30,575
他媽的

892
00:48:30,658 --> 00:48:33,119
你最好滾回去，聽到沒？

893
00:48:33,911 --> 00:48:35,246
我不怕你

894
00:48:35,330 --> 00:48:38,166
不想討皮肉痛就不要過來

895
00:48:38,249 --> 00:48:41,669
敢撲過來老子就宰了你，靠

896
00:48:41,753 --> 00:48:44,088
不要亂來，我會盯死你

897
00:48:44,881 --> 00:48:46,299
盯得死死的

898
00:48:47,342 --> 00:48:48,426
不准過來

899
00:48:51,304 --> 00:48:52,388
什麼爛樹林

900
00:48:59,896 --> 00:49:00,897
謝天謝地

901
00:49:01,522 --> 00:49:04,150
不好意思，先生

902
00:49:05,026 --> 00:49:06,235
你好嗎？

903
00:49:09,405 --> 00:49:11,282
你知道你擅闖我家

904
00:49:11,491 --> 00:49:12,659
對

905
00:49:12,742 --> 00:49:15,328
我不知道這是你家

906
00:49:15,411 --> 00:49:18,039
–不過我…
–那邊有牌子

907
00:49:19,082 --> 00:49:20,583
上面只寫六個字

908
00:49:21,918 --> 00:49:22,919
不准

909
00:49:23,795 --> 00:49:25,296
擅闖我家

910
00:49:25,755 --> 00:49:28,591
現在看到了

911
00:49:29,258 --> 00:49:32,053
我剛走過來沒看到

912
00:49:32,136 --> 00:49:34,847
我走過來是背對著牌子

913
00:49:34,931 --> 00:49:37,058
–沒注意到
–你是…

914
00:49:37,725 --> 00:49:39,143
城市小孩吧？

915
00:49:39,811 --> 00:49:44,232
我都叫自己城市男人，不是小孩

916
00:49:44,315 --> 00:49:46,651
叫我小男人也行，看你喜歡

917
00:49:46,734 --> 00:49:48,945
城市小孩在樹林遊蕩不安全

918
00:49:52,031 --> 00:49:53,825
城市男人更危險

919
00:49:57,620 --> 00:49:58,705
好

920
00:49:58,788 --> 00:50:01,499
我就擺明跟你說

921
00:50:01,582 --> 00:50:03,584
這個《激流四勇士》野外求生的劇情

922
00:50:03,710 --> 00:50:05,545
很精采，因為很嚇人

923
00:50:05,628 --> 00:50:07,964
演員演得好就要稱讚人家

924
00:50:08,047 --> 00:50:10,425
我不舒服，先生

925
00:50:10,508 --> 00:50:12,385
我其實很怕

926
00:50:12,468 --> 00:50:15,847
就讓我告訴你我在此的原因
來緩和這種心情

927
00:50:15,930 --> 00:50:17,390
我想打電話

928
00:50:17,473 --> 00:50:20,685
你有電話嗎？我用完就走

929
00:50:25,231 --> 00:50:26,399
兩分鐘

930
00:50:26,482 --> 00:50:27,900
我沒瘋

931
00:50:27,984 --> 00:50:30,069
我正常到不行

932
00:50:30,153 --> 00:50:33,156
–那個傢伙想殺我
–真不幸

933
00:50:33,239 --> 00:50:34,198
不幸？

934
00:50:34,282 --> 00:50:37,118
聽我說，丹尼，他想殺我

935
00:50:37,201 --> 00:50:38,161
完全沒有

936
00:50:38,286 --> 00:50:39,328
凱哥，聽著

937
00:50:39,412 --> 00:50:41,372
我有大消息，要說了

938
00:50:41,748 --> 00:50:43,207
《浪浪狗4》

939
00:50:44,167 --> 00:50:46,544
《浪浪狗4》

940
00:50:46,627 --> 00:50:48,421
他們要你配音雷吉

941
00:50:48,504 --> 00:50:52,633
一隻超愛搗蛋
個性機靈暴躁的黃金貴賓狗

942
00:50:52,717 --> 00:50:54,510
–他們直接找我？
–對

943
00:50:54,594 --> 00:50:57,388
酬勞跟你平常的價碼不能比

944
00:50:57,472 --> 00:51:00,641
不過這個角色能讓你鹹魚翻身

945
00:51:00,725 --> 00:51:01,893
跟喜劇天王齊名

946
00:51:04,020 --> 00:51:05,146
“嘿…

947
00:51:07,690 --> 00:51:10,067
“你好，我…

948
00:51:10,151 --> 00:51:11,527
“你好，我是雷吉

949
00:51:11,611 --> 00:51:14,822
“準備要大搗蛋的黃金貴賓狗”

950
00:51:14,947 --> 00:51:16,324
看吧，你是天才

951
00:51:16,407 --> 00:51:17,408
太讚了

952
00:51:17,492 --> 00:51:20,036
逼真到像在看電影一樣

953
00:51:20,953 --> 00:51:23,498
我們通常會

954
00:51:23,581 --> 00:51:26,709
抬高價碼再談之類的

955
00:51:26,793 --> 00:51:29,170
這次就爽快答應怎麼樣？

956
00:51:29,837 --> 00:51:32,089
不要嘆氣，開心點

957
00:51:32,173 --> 00:51:33,382
這是好機會，凱哥

958
00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:40,932
真要命

959
00:51:41,724 --> 00:51:42,642
你在哭嗎？

960
00:51:42,725 --> 00:51:44,769
我們怎麼淪落到這樣，丹尼？

961
00:51:46,729 --> 00:51:47,980
怎麼這麼慘？

962
00:51:48,064 --> 00:51:49,524
告訴我

963
00:51:49,607 --> 00:51:51,818
不要再鑽牛角尖

964
00:51:52,902 --> 00:51:54,028
人都會犯錯

965
00:51:54,111 --> 00:51:55,696
你是自不量力

966
00:51:55,780 --> 00:51:58,074
現在知道你不是動作英雄的料

967
00:51:58,950 --> 00:52:00,743
要接《浪浪狗4》嗎？

968
00:52:02,078 --> 00:52:03,162
救命

969
00:52:03,246 --> 00:52:04,288
救救我

970
00:52:04,372 --> 00:52:05,498
我卡住了

971
00:52:05,581 --> 00:52:06,541
凱哥？

972
00:52:06,624 --> 00:52:08,334
我要你口頭答應

973
00:52:09,752 --> 00:52:11,546
不要讓機會溜走，大哥

974
00:52:11,629 --> 00:52:13,965
–救救我
–凱文，黃金貴賓狗欸

975
00:52:14,048 --> 00:52:15,424
你超愛狗的，凱文

976
00:52:15,508 --> 00:52:16,801
救救我

977
00:52:16,884 --> 00:52:17,718
凱文

978
00:52:17,802 --> 00:52:18,803
救救我

979
00:52:19,762 --> 00:52:20,847
救命

980
00:52:20,930 --> 00:52:21,806
你還好嗎？

981
00:52:21,889 --> 00:52:23,015
–不好
–靠

982
00:52:23,099 --> 00:52:24,642
爛千斤頂壞了

983
00:52:25,893 --> 00:52:28,729
–好重
–我胸口被壓住

984
00:52:29,230 --> 00:52:30,606
喘不過氣

985
00:52:30,690 --> 00:52:32,942
我馬上叫人來

986
00:52:33,025 --> 00:52:34,402
我叫人來

987
00:52:35,611 --> 00:52:37,780
先生

988
00:52:42,326 --> 00:52:43,953
快想辦法

989
00:52:44,036 --> 00:52:45,621
你要抬起卡車

990
00:52:45,705 --> 00:52:47,832
你要抬起這輛卡車

991
00:52:48,332 --> 00:52:49,750
抬起該死的卡車

992
00:52:50,167 --> 00:52:51,544
快點，凱文

993
00:52:51,627 --> 00:52:55,715
預備，三、二、一

994
00:52:58,467 --> 00:53:00,177
抬起來了

995
00:53:00,261 --> 00:53:02,471
我抬起來了

996
00:53:11,272 --> 00:53:12,106
你沒事吧？

997
00:53:12,607 --> 00:53:13,608
呼吸，大哥

998
00:53:14,901 --> 00:53:15,818
慢慢吸吐

999
00:53:16,402 --> 00:53:18,362
不要急

1000
00:53:18,446 --> 00:53:21,115
–慢慢呼吸就會恢復
–我的老天

1001
00:53:21,198 --> 00:53:23,326
–你剛救了我的命
–沒有

1002
00:53:24,493 --> 00:53:26,996
你好像現實生活的藍波

1003
00:53:32,209 --> 00:53:33,836
有點像吧

1004
00:53:37,924 --> 00:53:40,259
怎樣才能報答你的救命之恩，先生？

1005
00:53:40,343 --> 00:53:41,844
不用報答

1006
00:53:42,637 --> 00:53:44,430
等等，你不知道我是誰嗎？

1007
00:53:44,513 --> 00:53:47,516
我拍電影、上電視還做脫口秀
你認不出我嗎？

1008
00:53:48,643 --> 00:53:49,477
認不出來

1009
00:53:53,981 --> 00:53:55,316
我叫哈特

1010
00:53:56,943 --> 00:53:58,694
哈特探員

1011
00:54:02,907 --> 00:54:06,911
你知道有捷徑回朗威考克斯
動作明星學校嗎？

1012
00:54:06,994 --> 00:54:08,454
–威考克斯的地方？
–對

1013
00:54:08,537 --> 00:54:09,622
知道，探員

1014
00:54:10,498 --> 00:54:13,250
沿著那條路下去就會到

1015
00:54:13,334 --> 00:54:14,251
好

1016
00:54:14,335 --> 00:54:17,046
我要趁天黑前趕快走回去

1017
00:54:17,129 --> 00:54:20,758
走路太遜，你不用走的

1018
00:54:28,224 --> 00:54:29,433
真屌

1019
00:54:40,027 --> 00:54:41,028
怎麼樣？

1020
00:54:41,112 --> 00:54:43,030
太驚人了，畫面收到

1021
00:54:43,114 --> 00:54:45,741
恐怖拖車戲收工

1022
00:54:46,492 --> 00:54:47,743
大家辛苦了

1023
00:55:05,469 --> 00:55:06,512
住手

1024
00:55:06,595 --> 00:55:08,305
該死，住手

1025
00:55:08,389 --> 00:55:09,598
兩個王八蛋

1026
00:55:13,352 --> 00:55:15,354
老子砸爛你的飛天萬能車，賤人

1027
00:55:16,856 --> 00:55:18,524
不要

1028
00:55:19,066 --> 00:55:19,942
不要

1029
00:55:21,027 --> 00:55:21,861
靠

1030
00:55:25,531 --> 00:55:28,492
喬丹，妳沒騙人

1031
00:55:28,576 --> 00:55:31,412
他真的以為是用真子彈，老凱

1032
00:55:31,871 --> 00:55:34,206
–妳跟他說？
–抱歉，很好笑

1033
00:55:34,290 --> 00:55:37,835
好笑個頭，後面那個人是神經病

1034
00:55:37,918 --> 00:55:39,962
你是神經病，朗教練

1035
00:55:40,046 --> 00:55:41,464
這樣說好了

1036
00:55:42,423 --> 00:55:44,258
我是神經病

1037
00:55:44,341 --> 00:55:45,801
我就一槍斃了你

1038
00:55:46,886 --> 00:55:48,304
不要衝動，朗，等等

1039
00:55:49,055 --> 00:55:50,097
讓我殺他

1040
00:55:50,765 --> 00:55:52,391
–不要鬧了
–我來

1041
00:55:53,309 --> 00:55:55,019
住手

1042
00:55:55,561 --> 00:55:58,397
你們想玩就玩吧，我奉陪到底

1043
00:55:58,481 --> 00:55:59,982
–把子彈全射光
–好

1044
00:56:00,066 --> 00:56:01,317
這下好玩了

1045
00:56:02,109 --> 00:56:03,027
你先

1046
00:56:08,240 --> 00:56:09,241
靠

1047
00:56:10,409 --> 00:56:11,410
糟糕

1048
00:56:12,620 --> 00:56:14,622
槍裡好像有一顆子彈

1049
00:56:14,705 --> 00:56:16,373
你好壞

1050
00:56:16,874 --> 00:56:18,626
–現在誰是神經病？
–王八蛋

1051
00:56:18,709 --> 00:56:20,127
–不行
–真是的

1052
00:56:20,211 --> 00:56:22,213
喬許，住手，你折斷個屁啊

1053
00:56:22,296 --> 00:56:24,757
–他想殺我
–你有什麼毛病？

1054
00:56:24,840 --> 00:56:26,425
我向你道過歉了

1055
00:56:26,509 --> 00:56:27,885
你幾時道過歉？

1056
00:56:27,968 --> 00:56:28,928
我以為有

1057
00:56:29,011 --> 00:56:30,846
你以為你道過歉了？

1058
00:56:30,930 --> 00:56:31,806
這樣吧

1059
00:56:31,889 --> 00:56:35,392
你把項鍊還我說不定我就會道歉

1060
00:56:35,476 --> 00:56:36,560
說出來了

1061
00:56:36,977 --> 00:56:38,354
我就知道

1062
00:56:38,437 --> 00:56:40,815
我拿走項鍊你就想殺我

1063
00:56:40,898 --> 00:56:43,067
–就承認吧
–老凱，冷靜點

1064
00:56:43,192 --> 00:56:46,445
我們只是玩一玩，又沒人受傷

1065
00:56:46,529 --> 00:56:48,405
–原來是整人？
–沒錯，整人

1066
00:56:48,489 --> 00:56:50,366
現在我心情好多了

1067
00:56:50,449 --> 00:56:52,535
妳早知道這是整人，喬丹？

1068
00:56:52,618 --> 00:56:54,995
我不知道

1069
00:56:55,079 --> 00:56:56,705
–妳不知道
–不要扯到我

1070
00:56:56,789 --> 00:56:57,790
不要扯到妳？

1071
00:56:57,873 --> 00:57:01,085
現在大家火氣有點大，休息一下

1072
00:57:01,168 --> 00:57:03,420
休息五分鐘，喝點水配牛肉乾

1073
00:57:03,504 --> 00:57:05,089
待會再上課

1074
00:57:05,172 --> 00:57:06,382
–我可以
–可以嗎？

1075
00:57:06,465 --> 00:57:08,259
–握手消消氣，快點
–給他抱抱

1076
00:57:08,342 --> 00:57:09,635
–給我抱抱
–不要

1077
00:57:09,718 --> 00:57:12,263
–我愛你
–好感人

1078
00:57:12,388 --> 00:57:14,348
你怎麼愛我？

1079
00:57:14,431 --> 00:57:16,267
就是人相愛那樣

1080
00:57:17,268 --> 00:57:18,477
什麼？

1081
00:57:18,561 --> 00:57:20,980
–好深奧
–問得好

1082
00:57:22,106 --> 00:57:23,566
我們會想你

1083
00:57:23,649 --> 00:57:25,484
我也會想你，寶貝

1084
00:57:25,568 --> 00:57:28,404
他讓我們出來好像我們沒被關起來

1085
00:57:29,321 --> 00:57:32,116
我又沒說你不能離開

1086
00:57:32,199 --> 00:57:34,451
你有點想太多

1087
00:57:34,535 --> 00:57:36,287
我記得我的車原本停在這裡

1088
00:57:36,412 --> 00:57:39,165
不過現在我的車躺在懸崖底下

1089
00:57:39,248 --> 00:57:40,833
也是我想太多嗎？

1090
00:57:40,916 --> 00:57:43,377
這是冰毒國家

1091
00:57:43,460 --> 00:57:46,547
大概是被幾個毒蟲開去兜風

1092
00:57:46,672 --> 00:57:47,882
很快就會開回來

1093
00:57:47,965 --> 00:57:49,717
我忘了毒蟲超愛開車

1094
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:51,051
應該沒事了

1095
00:57:51,135 --> 00:57:52,803
–你呢？
–我沒事

1096
00:57:53,512 --> 00:57:55,848
我知道受訓讓你吃不消

1097
00:57:56,390 --> 00:57:58,309
只剩下幾天而已

1098
00:57:58,392 --> 00:58:01,353
建議你趕快跟這個人討教幾招

1099
00:58:01,437 --> 00:58:04,148
–玩得開心
–謝謝你的關心，喬許

1100
00:58:05,566 --> 00:58:06,567
再見，老凱

1101
00:58:07,484 --> 00:58:09,403
–我愛你
–我也愛你

1102
00:58:09,987 --> 00:58:10,821
喬丹

1103
00:58:11,947 --> 00:58:13,115
再見

1104
00:58:14,575 --> 00:58:15,743
嬌什麼羞？

1105
00:58:24,710 --> 00:58:27,046
哈特探員，我有話跟你說

1106
00:58:27,129 --> 00:58:29,423
我不太想聽，朗教練

1107
00:58:29,506 --> 00:58:30,549
聽著

1108
00:58:31,091 --> 00:58:33,761
那顆真的子彈很抱歉

1109
00:58:33,844 --> 00:58:34,678
真心話

1110
00:58:35,846 --> 00:58:37,389
那就是我要的

1111
00:58:38,432 --> 00:58:40,142
我只要一個道歉

1112
00:58:40,226 --> 00:58:41,310
我知道

1113
00:58:41,810 --> 00:58:44,480
你的道歉讓我放下一顆心

1114
00:58:45,856 --> 00:58:50,110
抱歉我說你想殺我和其他人

1115
00:58:51,278 --> 00:58:52,446
給我抱抱

1116
00:58:52,529 --> 00:58:53,697
謝謝

1117
00:58:53,781 --> 00:58:55,658
–謝謝
–兩位

1118
00:58:55,741 --> 00:58:57,576
–怎樣？
–那是誰？

1119
00:59:13,926 --> 00:59:14,885
我靠

1120
00:59:20,266 --> 00:59:21,517
完了

1121
00:59:22,434 --> 00:59:24,895
–快進去
–搞什麼東西？

1122
00:59:24,979 --> 00:59:26,897
–該死
–快點，媽的

1123
00:59:26,981 --> 00:59:28,399
靠

1124
00:59:29,066 --> 00:59:30,567
有炸彈

1125
00:59:35,990 --> 00:59:38,117
究竟是怎樣？

1126
00:59:38,200 --> 00:59:41,245
朗，我不知道有這場戲
劇本哪裡有寫？

1127
00:59:41,328 --> 00:59:43,247
劇本沒這段

1128
00:59:43,330 --> 00:59:46,125
告訴我你在開玩笑，那是特技

1129
00:59:46,208 --> 00:59:48,585
我們不是眼睜睜看著
喬許哈奈特被炸死

1130
00:59:48,669 --> 00:59:49,753
不是特技

1131
00:59:49,837 --> 00:59:51,297
劇本沒這段

1132
00:59:51,422 --> 00:59:53,090
喬許哈奈特死了

1133
00:59:53,173 --> 00:59:55,551
媽的，我錯了

1134
00:59:55,634 --> 00:59:57,094
我做錯了

1135
00:59:57,177 --> 00:59:58,595
–是怎樣？
–好

1136
00:59:58,679 --> 01:00:00,097
到底是怎樣？

1137
01:00:00,180 --> 01:00:02,099
凱文，不要生氣

1138
01:00:02,182 --> 01:00:04,643
這件事從頭到尾

1139
01:00:04,727 --> 01:00:07,229
除了剛才喬許哈奈特被炸死的事

1140
01:00:07,313 --> 01:00:09,481
–都是照劇本演的
–怎麼有英國腔？

1141
01:00:09,565 --> 01:00:11,191
我在演戲，抱歉

1142
01:00:11,275 --> 01:00:13,610
我是艾塞克斯人，不是芝加哥人

1143
01:00:13,694 --> 01:00:16,363
克勞范德維想拍你最真實的演技

1144
01:00:16,447 --> 01:00:18,699
就在這裡藏一堆鏡頭

1145
01:00:18,782 --> 01:00:21,452
偷拍我們演角色做特技

1146
01:00:21,535 --> 01:00:24,830
不過剛才那段沒在劇本裡
太扯了，朗

1147
01:00:24,913 --> 01:00:26,081
搞屁啊

1148
01:00:26,165 --> 01:00:27,249
搞屁啊？

1149
01:00:27,333 --> 01:00:30,377
妳想對我說的就這句？搞屁啊？

1150
01:00:38,969 --> 01:00:40,637
用妳平常的聲音說話

1151
01:00:40,721 --> 01:00:42,848
好啦，我說不出來

1152
01:00:42,931 --> 01:00:44,767
–我現在很亂
–誰會這樣？

1153
01:00:44,850 --> 01:00:46,310
誰會這樣對別人？

1154
01:00:58,572 --> 01:01:00,282
靠，妳沒事吧？

1155
01:01:01,200 --> 01:01:04,536
我是大白痴

1156
01:01:04,620 --> 01:01:06,997
–我在想什麼？
–剛才是怎樣？

1157
01:01:07,081 --> 01:01:10,167
–想知道怎樣嗎？
–我很想知道

1158
01:01:10,250 --> 01:01:14,004
我買毒品，結果賣錯人

1159
01:01:14,088 --> 01:01:15,756
–什麼？
–羅德里哥很火大

1160
01:01:15,839 --> 01:01:19,134
我們大吵一架，我不小心殺了他

1161
01:01:19,218 --> 01:01:20,386
羅德里哥真的是你殺的

1162
01:01:20,469 --> 01:01:22,179
–對
–我就說人是他殺的

1163
01:01:22,262 --> 01:01:24,932
那條項鍊是他的

1164
01:01:25,057 --> 01:01:26,725
我是可怕的人

1165
01:01:26,809 --> 01:01:28,644
我會下地獄

1166
01:01:28,727 --> 01:01:30,187
說得對極了

1167
01:01:30,687 --> 01:01:32,147
–你要幹嘛？
–克勞

1168
01:01:32,231 --> 01:01:34,066
–你叫克勞幹嘛，朗？
–克勞

1169
01:01:34,149 --> 01:01:37,069
克勞，你有在看就馬上報警

1170
01:01:37,152 --> 01:01:38,904
趕快報警

1171
01:01:38,987 --> 01:01:40,406
威考克斯先生

1172
01:01:41,657 --> 01:01:42,825
完了

1173
01:01:42,950 --> 01:01:46,662
我外甥羅德里哥的屍體
在南邊六公里處被沖上岸

1174
01:01:48,247 --> 01:01:49,748
不是巧合吧？

1175
01:01:50,416 --> 01:01:52,960
我給你兩分鐘，不多不少

1176
01:01:53,043 --> 01:01:56,505
限你兩分鐘滾出來像個男人面對我

1177
01:01:56,588 --> 01:01:58,966
不然我會轟爛這個地方

1178
01:01:59,049 --> 01:02:00,843
像炸五花肉把你炸到酥脆

1179
01:02:03,262 --> 01:02:04,471
不要再哀哀叫

1180
01:02:04,555 --> 01:02:06,306
不行，完蛋了

1181
01:02:06,390 --> 01:02:07,683
聽好，王八蛋

1182
01:02:07,766 --> 01:02:10,519
叫男人管事就會是這種下場

1183
01:02:10,602 --> 01:02:13,313
我的演藝事業才剛有起色

1184
01:02:13,397 --> 01:02:16,316
我努力了一輩子

1185
01:02:16,400 --> 01:02:19,403
你休想害死我，大白痴

1186
01:02:19,486 --> 01:02:20,946
我們都死定了

1187
01:02:23,532 --> 01:02:24,533
完蛋了

1188
01:02:24,658 --> 01:02:26,034
什麼東西？

1189
01:02:26,118 --> 01:02:28,620
大家給我冷靜下來

1190
01:02:28,704 --> 01:02:30,080
都是空包彈

1191
01:02:30,164 --> 01:02:31,331
大哥

1192
01:02:31,748 --> 01:02:34,376
–不要打我
–我不會打你，聽好

1193
01:02:34,877 --> 01:02:36,879
我第一次從那個門走進來時

1194
01:02:36,962 --> 01:02:38,505
你跟我說

1195
01:02:38,589 --> 01:02:41,008
動作英雄不是靠智慧

1196
01:02:41,425 --> 01:02:43,051
也不是靠蠻力

1197
01:02:43,635 --> 01:02:45,053
是靠這裡

1198
01:02:45,554 --> 01:02:46,805
心態

1199
01:02:47,556 --> 01:02:49,516
你做錯事是沒錯

1200
01:02:49,600 --> 01:02:53,061
其中一件錯事是殺掉毒梟的外甥

1201
01:02:54,396 --> 01:02:56,398
–討厭，我殺了他
–不要哭啦

1202
01:02:56,482 --> 01:02:58,775
我不是要弄哭你

1203
01:02:58,859 --> 01:03:01,236
聽好，我知道你很清楚

1204
01:03:01,570 --> 01:03:04,198
你心裡有個動作英雄

1205
01:03:04,281 --> 01:03:07,493
我也知道真正的動作英雄要狠

1206
01:03:07,576 --> 01:03:08,577
充滿自信

1207
01:03:08,660 --> 01:03:13,040
對小事淡定從容，不會亂了腳步

1208
01:03:13,457 --> 01:03:16,752
會為自己做錯的事負責

1209
01:03:16,919 --> 01:03:19,379
你走出去說出實話

1210
01:03:19,463 --> 01:03:20,839
說出他媽的實話

1211
01:03:21,256 --> 01:03:23,800
說羅德里哥的死是意外

1212
01:03:24,301 --> 01:03:26,595
說是意外再給他…

1213
01:03:26,678 --> 01:03:28,013
給他這個，拿去

1214
01:03:28,096 --> 01:03:30,766
你給他這條項鍊說你想彌補過錯

1215
01:03:30,849 --> 01:03:32,559
–彌補過錯
–就是這樣

1216
01:03:32,643 --> 01:03:34,853
跟他道歉說你做錯了

1217
01:03:34,937 --> 01:03:36,897
–我做錯了
–你想說出實話

1218
01:03:36,980 --> 01:03:38,482
–說出實話
–沒錯

1219
01:03:38,565 --> 01:03:41,235
–我做錯了
–聽好，你只要

1220
01:03:41,318 --> 01:03:43,320
當全世界

1221
01:03:43,403 --> 01:03:45,405
最想看到的動作英雄

1222
01:03:47,366 --> 01:03:48,367
謝謝

1223
01:03:49,284 --> 01:03:50,369
謝謝

1224
01:03:51,203 --> 01:03:52,412
說出實話，大哥

1225
01:03:58,585 --> 01:03:59,670
那段話太感人了

1226
01:04:05,676 --> 01:04:07,344
朋友

1227
01:04:07,719 --> 01:04:08,929
不要開槍

1228
01:04:12,933 --> 01:04:14,017
不會吧

1229
01:04:14,101 --> 01:04:15,435
真的有用

1230
01:04:15,519 --> 01:04:17,813
凱文，你剛救了我們的命嗎？

1231
01:04:17,896 --> 01:04:19,231
哪有

1232
01:04:19,314 --> 01:04:22,818
我只知道當英雄就要真心認錯

1233
01:04:23,318 --> 01:04:25,737
是我學到寶貴的人生經驗

1234
01:04:26,655 --> 01:04:29,741
很高興朗也能學到經驗

1235
01:04:33,245 --> 01:04:34,454
靠

1236
01:04:35,414 --> 01:04:36,748
搞什麼鬼？

1237
01:04:53,724 --> 01:04:54,808
他死了嗎？

1238
01:04:54,891 --> 01:04:57,185
他身中很多槍，應該是死了

1239
01:04:57,269 --> 01:04:59,563
要確定他是死是活

1240
01:05:03,275 --> 01:05:04,359
–他死了
–對

1241
01:05:04,443 --> 01:05:06,570
–他死透了
–對

1242
01:05:07,070 --> 01:05:10,490
我們不要出聲說不定他們就會離開

1243
01:05:10,574 --> 01:05:11,825
我喜歡這個計畫

1244
01:05:11,908 --> 01:05:13,076
胡安，奧提斯

1245
01:05:13,160 --> 01:05:15,162
進去搜，不准留活口

1246
01:05:15,245 --> 01:05:17,706
–那個計畫很爛，快閃
–要趕緊離開

1247
01:05:18,206 --> 01:05:19,082
{\an8}靠

1248
01:05:19,166 --> 01:05:20,626
快關門

1249
01:05:21,126 --> 01:05:22,377
壓住

1250
01:05:28,008 --> 01:05:29,635
還有沒有真的子彈？

1251
01:05:30,510 --> 01:05:32,346
我看過了都是空包彈

1252
01:05:32,429 --> 01:05:33,513
該死的空包彈

1253
01:05:33,597 --> 01:05:35,307
這裡的東西都是道具嗎？

1254
01:05:36,099 --> 01:05:38,268
我刺傷妳的那把刀呢？

1255
01:05:38,352 --> 01:05:40,979
–是假刀，血也是假的
–可惡

1256
01:05:41,688 --> 01:05:42,731
整人啊

1257
01:05:43,440 --> 01:05:45,525
慘了，快閃

1258
01:05:58,705 --> 01:06:00,749
–凱文
–怎樣？

1259
01:06:01,625 --> 01:06:04,920
我們要是出事，不能活著出去

1260
01:06:05,587 --> 01:06:07,798
–我只想讓你知道…
–不要說了

1261
01:06:09,091 --> 01:06:10,425
我也愛妳

1262
01:06:12,636 --> 01:06:15,389
靠，妳是不是想說別的？

1263
01:06:15,472 --> 01:06:17,641
–妳會說很高興認識我？
–對

1264
01:06:17,724 --> 01:06:18,600
拜託

1265
01:06:18,684 --> 01:06:21,019
我們快要死了，騙我一下也不要

1266
01:06:21,103 --> 01:06:22,562
妳騙了我一整個禮拜

1267
01:06:22,646 --> 01:06:24,773
–再騙一次也沒差
–抱歉

1268
01:06:24,856 --> 01:06:28,610
他們用很高價碼請我來演角色

1269
01:06:29,152 --> 01:06:31,488
–錢很多
–妳這樣說沒比較好

1270
01:06:31,571 --> 01:06:33,240
越說我越心酸

1271
01:06:34,449 --> 01:06:36,451
–聽到聲音沒？
–他們來了

1272
01:06:36,576 --> 01:06:38,036
–裝死
–什麼？不要

1273
01:06:38,120 --> 01:06:40,247
他們看到我們死了就會離開

1274
01:06:40,330 --> 01:06:41,623
不過要怎麼死？

1275
01:06:42,249 --> 01:06:43,959
聽不到，我死了

1276
01:07:02,978 --> 01:07:03,979
什麼…

1277
01:07:16,450 --> 01:07:19,119
–有聽到慘叫聲嗎？
–好像是奧提斯

1278
01:07:20,203 --> 01:07:22,205
你還在等什麼東西？

1279
01:07:22,289 --> 01:07:23,373
鄉下人

1280
01:07:23,457 --> 01:07:24,875
有那麼難懂嗎？

1281
01:07:38,096 --> 01:07:39,973
敢踢老子，賤人，看招

1282
01:07:44,019 --> 01:07:46,188
敢踢老子兩下，真丟臉

1283
01:07:50,692 --> 01:07:52,027
敢踢我…射死你

1284
01:08:10,253 --> 01:08:12,881
每次看到妳都躺在地上

1285
01:08:12,964 --> 01:08:15,091
快點離開這裡

1286
01:08:22,349 --> 01:08:23,892
等等

1287
01:08:26,186 --> 01:08:27,521
來

1288
01:08:34,110 --> 01:08:36,780
妳跟哥倫比亞毒梟槍戰會贏嗎？

1289
01:08:36,863 --> 01:08:38,657
不會，英國沒槍

1290
01:08:38,740 --> 01:08:40,075
給你，你是北費城人

1291
01:08:40,158 --> 01:08:41,284
妳有沒有上課？

1292
01:08:41,368 --> 01:08:44,079
這樣我不能拿槍，拿對再給我

1293
01:08:45,247 --> 01:08:48,124
–朗會很驕傲
–閉嘴，朗驕傲個頭

1294
01:08:48,208 --> 01:08:49,376
朗驕傲個頭啦

1295
01:08:49,793 --> 01:08:50,961
靠

1296
01:08:52,420 --> 01:08:53,672
快走

1297
01:08:54,589 --> 01:08:55,590
幹

1298
01:09:07,602 --> 01:09:10,397
我引開他的注意力

1299
01:09:10,480 --> 01:09:12,607
你要開槍打死那個人

1300
01:09:12,691 --> 01:09:15,026
–好了嗎？
–好到不行

1301
01:09:15,151 --> 01:09:16,152
數到三

1302
01:09:16,486 --> 01:09:17,696
一、二…

1303
01:09:17,779 --> 01:09:19,447
等等，不要那樣數

1304
01:09:19,531 --> 01:09:22,284
我比較喜歡倒過來數

1305
01:09:23,368 --> 01:09:26,037
三、二、一

1306
01:09:27,372 --> 01:09:29,040
–開槍
–老子拚了

1307
01:09:30,584 --> 01:09:32,419
王八蛋

1308
01:09:32,502 --> 01:09:34,129
射死你，王八蛋

1309
01:09:36,339 --> 01:09:37,757
糗了

1310
01:09:37,841 --> 01:09:40,844
那是什麼鬼？快閃

1311
01:09:43,096 --> 01:09:45,140
幹，差一點就射死他

1312
01:09:45,223 --> 01:09:46,975
–沒錯
–對

1313
01:09:50,103 --> 01:09:51,354
他在裝子彈

1314
01:09:51,813 --> 01:09:53,064
跟我來，快點

1315
01:09:53,231 --> 01:09:55,191
等等，等我

1316
01:09:58,653 --> 01:09:59,571
該死

1317
01:09:59,654 --> 01:10:01,323
居然沒射中他屁眼

1318
01:10:01,406 --> 01:10:02,908
明明對準他

1319
01:10:02,991 --> 01:10:04,284
一定是準星歪掉

1320
01:10:04,367 --> 01:10:06,036
準星沒歪，凱文，是你槍法爛

1321
01:10:06,119 --> 01:10:07,329
要用腦子

1322
01:10:07,412 --> 01:10:10,040
這裡一定有東西能拿來用

1323
01:10:10,123 --> 01:10:12,042
猜猜什麼不能用？這把手槍

1324
01:10:12,125 --> 01:10:14,085
沒子彈好用

1325
01:10:14,169 --> 01:10:16,004
凱文，專心想

1326
01:10:16,087 --> 01:10:17,213
都是道具

1327
01:10:17,297 --> 01:10:19,716
這邊是一堆沒用的道具

1328
01:10:26,473 --> 01:10:28,183
有了

1329
01:11:11,559 --> 01:11:14,062
死啊，見鬼了

1330
01:11:14,980 --> 01:11:16,439
見鬼了

1331
01:11:17,691 --> 01:11:19,150
逮到你了，王八蛋

1332
01:11:21,236 --> 01:11:22,362
糟了

1333
01:11:24,072 --> 01:11:25,740
好啦

1334
01:11:28,576 --> 01:11:29,703
抓住他

1335
01:11:35,125 --> 01:11:37,252
你是不是以為我死了？

1336
01:11:37,335 --> 01:11:38,878
不過我不是獨行俠

1337
01:11:38,962 --> 01:11:41,339
我也是有朋友的

1338
01:11:41,423 --> 01:11:42,716
我幫你介紹

1339
01:11:42,799 --> 01:11:45,260
拳先生和頭先生

1340
01:11:45,343 --> 01:11:46,928
–凱文，閉嘴
–好啦

1341
01:11:47,012 --> 01:11:48,263
我還有很多話要講

1342
01:11:48,346 --> 01:11:50,432
不過我…壓住這個王八蛋

1343
01:11:52,517 --> 01:11:55,020
好痛，怎麼沒壓住他的腳？

1344
01:11:58,314 --> 01:12:00,275
靠，好了

1345
01:12:00,483 --> 01:12:01,776
我們搞定他了

1346
01:12:02,235 --> 01:12:04,446
–我搞定他了
–才不是，我也有出力

1347
01:12:04,946 --> 01:12:06,573
擊掌，快走

1348
01:12:06,656 --> 01:12:08,283
快點，走路小心

1349
01:12:08,366 --> 01:12:09,951
快走

1350
01:12:10,452 --> 01:12:11,911
他一腳踢中我鼻梁

1351
01:12:11,995 --> 01:12:12,912
王八蛋

1352
01:12:19,127 --> 01:12:21,046
快跑

1353
01:12:29,095 --> 01:12:31,181
等等，等一下

1354
01:12:31,264 --> 01:12:32,515
喬丹，跑慢一點

1355
01:12:32,599 --> 01:12:34,893
前面是懸崖

1356
01:12:39,731 --> 01:12:40,940
真屌

1357
01:12:42,650 --> 01:12:44,027
快點，要趕快逃走

1358
01:12:44,110 --> 01:12:46,613
不行，我跳不過去，太遠了

1359
01:12:47,447 --> 01:12:49,949
–抱歉
–真要命，跳就對了

1360
01:12:50,033 --> 01:12:51,618
快走，妳自己快逃

1361
01:12:51,701 --> 01:12:55,205
不行，我們要一起逃走，趕快啦

1362
01:12:58,166 --> 01:13:00,043
豁出去了

1363
01:13:00,627 --> 01:13:01,628
媽的

1364
01:13:02,170 --> 01:13:03,004
拚了

1365
01:13:06,883 --> 01:13:08,259
衝啊

1366
01:13:08,343 --> 01:13:09,511
糗了

1367
01:13:14,182 --> 01:13:16,518
妳剛才幹嘛不說妳愛我？

1368
01:13:18,603 --> 01:13:22,440
我們才剛認識沒多久…

1369
01:13:31,032 --> 01:13:33,660
我轟掉你腦袋前有什麼遺言要說？

1370
01:13:34,702 --> 01:13:35,620
不要開槍

1371
01:13:36,329 --> 01:13:38,164
你不用殺我

1372
01:13:39,666 --> 01:13:41,167
你不用殺人

1373
01:13:47,006 --> 01:13:48,424
我喬個位置

1374
01:13:51,261 --> 01:13:52,470
你啾啾叫什麼東西？

1375
01:13:53,888 --> 01:13:54,931
不准叫

1376
01:13:55,890 --> 01:13:57,183
住嘴

1377
01:13:57,267 --> 01:13:58,893
看著我殺你

1378
01:13:59,435 --> 01:14:00,353
看著我

1379
01:14:00,436 --> 01:14:02,397
我知道你在裝模作樣

1380
01:14:36,472 --> 01:14:37,557
好痛

1381
01:14:42,395 --> 01:14:46,858
回家一定有真正的英雄
要找傻傻的小跟班

1382
01:14:48,693 --> 01:14:50,612
現在有我陪你

1383
01:14:57,076 --> 01:14:58,494
我保證不會放手

1384
01:14:59,787 --> 01:15:02,123
凱文，專心想

1385
01:15:17,222 --> 01:15:18,306
我欠你一個人情

1386
01:15:26,522 --> 01:15:29,817
我要來救妳，我來了

1387
01:15:34,280 --> 01:15:35,615
只是簡單的跳越

1388
01:15:36,866 --> 01:15:39,494
三、二、一

1389
01:15:45,917 --> 01:15:47,043
成功了

1390
01:15:49,796 --> 01:15:51,089
醒醒

1391
01:15:51,464 --> 01:15:52,548
快醒醒

1392
01:15:52,632 --> 01:15:55,176
喬丹，快起來

1393
01:15:55,260 --> 01:15:56,302
喬丹，不要死

1394
01:15:57,011 --> 01:15:58,429
看著我

1395
01:15:59,597 --> 01:16:02,308
不准死，我不會讓妳死

1396
01:16:03,559 --> 01:16:05,270
喬丹，不能…

1397
01:16:05,728 --> 01:16:07,522
妳不能死

1398
01:16:08,815 --> 01:16:10,817
喬丹，快起來，不要…

1399
01:16:11,776 --> 01:16:14,153
喬丹

1400
01:16:15,154 --> 01:16:17,365
我跳過來了

1401
01:16:17,448 --> 01:16:18,449
喬丹？

1402
01:16:18,950 --> 01:16:20,326
我跳了

1403
01:16:22,787 --> 01:16:24,205
我他媽的跳了

1404
01:16:28,001 --> 01:16:29,836
該死…呼吸

1405
01:16:34,173 --> 01:16:35,216
太精采了

1406
01:16:35,675 --> 01:16:37,218
大家殺青了

1407
01:16:38,761 --> 01:16:39,762
太讚了

1408
01:16:44,600 --> 01:16:45,977
–好了
–殺青？

1409
01:16:47,020 --> 01:16:48,855
–哈特探員
–朗教練？

1410
01:16:49,605 --> 01:16:50,523
太帥了

1411
01:16:52,650 --> 01:16:53,985
太好了

1412
01:16:54,068 --> 01:16:55,778
什麼鬼東西？

1413
01:16:58,031 --> 01:16:59,741
跟你合作很愉快

1414
01:16:59,824 --> 01:17:01,784
不要生氣，抱歉

1415
01:17:02,994 --> 01:17:03,995
凱文

1416
01:17:09,334 --> 01:17:10,335
你好

1417
01:17:10,918 --> 01:17:12,170
拜託，喬丹

1418
01:17:12,795 --> 01:17:14,255
這也是演的？

1419
01:17:14,339 --> 01:17:15,631
抱歉，凱文

1420
01:17:15,715 --> 01:17:16,799
喬丹

1421
01:17:17,884 --> 01:17:19,552
我真的以為妳死了

1422
01:17:19,635 --> 01:17:20,803
凱文

1423
01:17:20,887 --> 01:17:22,013
不是…

1424
01:17:22,347 --> 01:17:24,640
很高興妳還活著

1425
01:17:24,724 --> 01:17:25,808
好吧

1426
01:17:25,933 --> 01:17:27,352
電影魔法

1427
01:17:29,645 --> 01:17:30,897
–非常好
–電影魔法

1428
01:17:30,980 --> 01:17:32,023
非常好

1429
01:17:33,816 --> 01:17:35,818
{\an8}六個禮拜後

1430
01:17:35,943 --> 01:17:38,279
{\an8}喬丹，快起來

1431
01:17:39,030 --> 01:17:40,907
喬丹，妳不能死

1432
01:17:41,699 --> 01:17:43,701
喬丹，快起來，不要…

1433
01:17:44,577 --> 01:17:47,205
喬丹

1434
01:17:48,831 --> 01:17:51,584
我跳過來了

1435
01:17:51,667 --> 01:17:52,710
喬丹？

1436
01:17:53,628 --> 01:17:55,046
我跳了

1437
01:17:57,465 --> 01:17:58,883
我他媽的跳了

1438
01:18:02,887 --> 01:18:06,682
懷念永遠的喬許哈奈特

1439
01:18:16,567 --> 01:18:17,568
怎麼樣？

1440
01:18:23,658 --> 01:18:26,452
那大概是我看過最怪的電影

1441
01:18:29,539 --> 01:18:31,999
很詭異

1442
01:18:33,084 --> 01:18:33,960
暴力

1443
01:18:36,921 --> 01:18:37,839
不過…

1444
01:18:40,633 --> 01:18:41,801
真誠

1445
01:18:44,679 --> 01:18:46,806
那種演技是教不來的

1446
01:18:46,889 --> 01:18:48,391
–你喜歡
–喜歡？

1447
01:18:48,474 --> 01:18:49,976
我喜歡腎形泳池

1448
01:18:50,059 --> 01:18:51,811
我喜歡低脂蛋酒

1449
01:18:52,395 --> 01:18:53,479
這部電影…

1450
01:18:54,272 --> 01:18:55,606
我超愛的

1451
01:18:56,649 --> 01:18:57,733
他超愛的

1452
01:18:58,192 --> 01:19:01,237
擔綱男主角演自己的動作片
心情怎麼樣？

1453
01:19:02,655 --> 01:19:04,532
凱文，請上來

1454
01:19:05,241 --> 01:19:06,242
舞台中央

1455
01:19:07,785 --> 01:19:09,620
大家不用鼓掌

1456
01:19:10,580 --> 01:19:11,998
我學到兩件事

1457
01:19:13,416 --> 01:19:15,585
第一件事是拍電影很危險

1458
01:19:15,668 --> 01:19:17,378
危險到不行

1459
01:19:17,462 --> 01:19:20,047
我被火燒、被球棒K頭

1460
01:19:20,131 --> 01:19:21,382
被揍、被踢

1461
01:19:21,466 --> 01:19:23,342
–滿身都是疤
–真好笑

1462
01:19:23,426 --> 01:19:25,011
–大概是
–我是說真的

1463
01:19:25,094 --> 01:19:27,388
不知道你們笑什麼，我很正經

1464
01:19:27,472 --> 01:19:29,891
–都是他害的
–最好是

1465
01:19:29,974 --> 01:19:30,850
不是…

1466
01:19:30,933 --> 01:19:32,518
不是開玩笑

1467
01:19:32,602 --> 01:19:34,020
這是很嚴肅的事

1468
01:19:36,355 --> 01:19:38,858
我學到的第二件事是…

1469
01:19:41,444 --> 01:19:43,779
世上沒男主角這種東西

1470
01:19:45,656 --> 01:19:48,284
沒同劇演員你什麼都不是

1471
01:19:50,995 --> 01:19:54,040
還有你們的配合，謝謝

1472
01:19:54,123 --> 01:19:55,166
快上來

1473
01:19:56,083 --> 01:19:59,003
–說得太好了
–跟我一起分享

1474
01:19:59,962 --> 01:20:01,756
等等，我是演員名單第一個嗎？

1475
01:20:01,881 --> 01:20:03,174
你是第一個

1476
01:20:03,257 --> 01:20:04,634
漂亮，我忘了問

1477
01:20:04,717 --> 01:20:06,219
該來慶祝一下了

1478
01:20:06,344 --> 01:20:08,846
–對
–看來票房會大賣

1479
01:20:08,930 --> 01:20:11,098
–克勞，恭喜
–謝謝

1480
01:20:11,182 --> 01:20:13,184
恭喜大家

1481
01:20:15,186 --> 01:20:18,189
各位觀眾
今天我們特地讓你們搶先看

1482
01:20:18,272 --> 01:20:20,149
等等，不要爆雷

1483
01:20:20,233 --> 01:20:22,360
要有戲劇性的鋪陳

1484
01:20:22,443 --> 01:20:23,611
好啦，知道了

1485
01:20:23,694 --> 01:20:28,115
你知道我不太喜歡這種動作大片

1486
01:20:28,199 --> 01:20:31,452
她又要說她喜歡有氣質的外國片

1487
01:20:31,536 --> 01:20:33,621
我的品味很高，這是鋪陳

1488
01:20:33,704 --> 01:20:35,122
–照你說的
–繼續

1489
01:20:35,206 --> 01:20:38,543
克勞范德維執導的這部電影
讓我很感動

1490
01:20:38,626 --> 01:20:41,379
真是難得的好片，我看過27遍

1491
01:20:41,462 --> 01:20:43,172
我超愛克勞范德維

1492
01:20:43,256 --> 01:20:46,050
片中的英雄不是動作明星

1493
01:20:46,133 --> 01:20:49,428
拯救大家的這號人物讓人跌破眼鏡

1494
01:20:50,179 --> 01:20:51,681
今天節目請到本尊來到現場

1495
01:20:51,806 --> 01:20:54,809
各位觀眾，歡迎嗆辣小松鼠

1496
01:20:57,270 --> 01:20:58,896
你本人比較大隻

1497
01:20:58,980 --> 01:21:00,189
見鬼了

1498
01:23:28,629 --> 01:23:30,631
字幕翻譯： 李儀

1499
01:23:30,756 --> 01:23:32,758
創意監督
張世幸