1 00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:05,930 No! 2 00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:06,920 Agh! 3 00:00:06,950 --> 00:00:07,310 Oh! 4 00:00:11,420 --> 00:00:11,930 Ahh! Whoa! 5 00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:15,530 Uh... (INDISTINCT) 6 00:00:28,730 --> 00:00:30,050 Is this good television? 7 00:00:31,530 --> 00:00:34,410 (APPLAUSE) 8 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:41,360 Hello, and welcome to Taskmaster. 9 00:00:41,390 --> 00:00:43,820 Though these piping-hot studio lights 10 00:00:43,820 --> 00:00:46,190 may be bouncing off my pearly dome, 11 00:00:46,190 --> 00:00:47,510 do not be mistaken, 12 00:00:47,510 --> 00:00:50,000 for, like, the great Gorgon Medusa, 13 00:00:50,030 --> 00:00:54,530 this head has a metaphorical hairpiece of snakes flowing off it. 14 00:00:54,530 --> 00:00:57,350 And these green eyes, if you happen to look into them, 15 00:00:57,350 --> 00:00:59,060 may well turn you to stone, 16 00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:00,420 or, at the very least, 17 00:01:00,420 --> 00:01:03,900 cause my personal security guard, Julio, to shout, 18 00:01:03,930 --> 00:01:05,220 "Don't look at him," 19 00:01:05,430 --> 00:01:09,090 for I am the all-powerful Taskmaster. 20 00:01:09,129 --> 00:01:11,370 (APPLAUSE) 21 00:01:11,370 --> 00:01:14,700 The five comedians wanting Daddy's love and affection 22 00:01:14,730 --> 00:01:16,950 are Aaron Chen, 23 00:01:18,420 --> 00:01:19,920 Concetta Caristo, 24 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:21,360 Mel Buttle, 25 00:01:22,380 --> 00:01:23,640 Peter Helliar, 26 00:01:24,180 --> 00:01:26,310 and Rhys Nicholson. 27 00:01:26,310 --> 00:01:27,950 (APPLAUSE) 28 00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:31,110 And, as always, sitting patiently by my side 29 00:01:31,110 --> 00:01:34,110 and waiting for a bit of dinner to fall off my plate, 30 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:37,410 it's my assistant, Tom Cashman. 31 00:01:37,410 --> 00:01:39,410 (APPLAUSE) 32 00:01:41,670 --> 00:01:44,100 G'day, Tom. What are you going to say this evening 33 00:01:44,130 --> 00:01:46,140 to endear yourself to Australia? 34 00:01:46,170 --> 00:01:48,090 Well, I think my relationship with you 35 00:01:48,090 --> 00:01:49,500 has changed my relationship with authority. 36 00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,540 I'm even more respectful than I used to be. 37 00:01:51,540 --> 00:01:53,100 (LAUGHTER) 38 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:56,400 I was in a shop this week and I asked to speak to the manager. 39 00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:59,240 I didn't even have a complaint. I just wanted to speak to a manager. 40 00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:02,810 And then the manager, she was like, 41 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:04,130 "Is this it? This is a waste of my time." 42 00:02:04,130 --> 00:02:06,170 And I was like, "Well, that's actually a bit rude. 43 00:02:06,170 --> 00:02:07,700 "I'd like to speak to your manager." 44 00:02:08,660 --> 00:02:11,390 And then I spoke to him. I'm like, "You're a manager? That's crazy." 45 00:02:11,420 --> 00:02:13,610 And I just kept doing that over and over again. 46 00:02:13,610 --> 00:02:15,650 And that's how I met Harvey Norman. 47 00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:18,809 (APPLAUSE) 48 00:02:20,150 --> 00:02:22,220 At this point, I'd like to have a go at Harvey Norman, 49 00:02:22,220 --> 00:02:24,020 but he's probably a sponsor. 50 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:26,960 I've got no idea who sponsors this shit. 51 00:02:27,140 --> 00:02:28,880 Alright, Lesser Tom, kick us off. 52 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:31,520 Well, our first task, as always, is a prize task. 53 00:02:31,550 --> 00:02:33,800 Tonight, our contestants have been asked to bring in 54 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:36,080 what they consider to be the best piece of art 55 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:38,660 you paid $50 or less for. 56 00:02:38,930 --> 00:02:41,630 Sounds like it's time for a shit art exhibition. 57 00:02:41,660 --> 00:02:43,700 Aaron, what would you like to hang? 58 00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:45,920 Thanks for asking me. By the way, you're awesome. 59 00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:48,710 And, um, near my house, 60 00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:51,530 there's actually, like, a vending machine for art. 61 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:55,010 Um, I put my credit card in 62 00:02:55,010 --> 00:02:57,690 and, for 50 bucks, I got this artwork. 63 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:02,040 (APPLAUSE) 64 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:02,490 OK. 65 00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:06,270 It's actually a double-sided portrait. Um... 66 00:03:10,770 --> 00:03:13,590 Great value. So, who are the portraits of? 67 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:18,120 (LAUGHTER) 68 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,450 Um, I think they're by a guy... 69 00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:24,630 See the signature? ..called Philip Lowe. Um... 70 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,230 Alright. Mel, what did you bring in? 71 00:03:28,230 --> 00:03:31,440 I have drawn some portraits of people's dogs. 72 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:33,210 I was paid to do this art. 73 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:36,510 Now, I have been to university. 74 00:03:36,510 --> 00:03:38,130 I'm creative. 75 00:03:38,130 --> 00:03:41,460 And I think that is very obvious, once you see the artwork. 76 00:03:42,810 --> 00:03:45,130 (LAUGHTER) 77 00:03:46,770 --> 00:03:47,220 Woof. 78 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:50,940 So the task was best piece of art you paid $50 or less for. 79 00:03:51,180 --> 00:03:53,130 So I suppose the question is if you get paid, 80 00:03:53,130 --> 00:03:55,500 is that kind of like even less than zero? 81 00:03:55,530 --> 00:03:57,410 It's like minus amounts of being paid. 82 00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:00,200 No. Well, I'm happy with minus. How much were you paid for that? 83 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:04,160 1.7 million. 84 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:09,410 That's a long way under 50. 85 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:11,930 Unfortunately, the task is BEST piece of art. 86 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:12,800 Yep. There it is. 87 00:04:12,980 --> 00:04:16,070 Oh, I see. So you've earned money, and we've accepted that. 88 00:04:16,100 --> 00:04:17,720 Great. But the art's shit. 89 00:04:19,610 --> 00:04:21,260 Concetta, what did you bring in? 90 00:04:21,260 --> 00:04:25,040 So, I went to an art class with my boyfriend. 91 00:04:25,070 --> 00:04:30,140 We paid $45 each, and we both painted our favourite celebrity. 92 00:04:33,470 --> 00:04:35,390 You know who that is, right? 93 00:04:35,690 --> 00:04:39,260 I'm thinking they're two generic Channel 10 newsreaders. 94 00:04:40,310 --> 00:04:41,480 It says 'coffee' behind the... 95 00:04:41,510 --> 00:04:43,730 Is it Jerry Seinfeld? 96 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:44,810 Yes! 97 00:04:46,310 --> 00:04:48,440 Oh, so you both painted Jerry Seinfeld. 98 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:50,030 They're the same person? It's the same person. 99 00:04:50,270 --> 00:04:50,790 Wow. OK. (INDISTINCT) 100 00:04:53,780 --> 00:04:56,160 Peter, what did you bring in? PETER: Let's raise the bar. 101 00:04:56,190 --> 00:04:58,590 What would you say if I told you 102 00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:02,040 that I managed to purchase, for under $50, 103 00:05:02,070 --> 00:05:04,200 an original Da Vinci? 104 00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:07,170 (LAUGHTER) Yeah, yeah? 105 00:05:13,950 --> 00:05:15,600 Did you bring that in to show everyone 106 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:17,040 that you're down with the kids? 107 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:17,940 (LAUGHTER) 108 00:05:17,940 --> 00:05:19,530 It was one of his early drafts. 109 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:21,420 It's a very impressive piece of art. It is. 110 00:05:21,450 --> 00:05:23,760 It was during Da Vinci's T-shirt stage as well. 111 00:05:24,660 --> 00:05:26,820 He famously used the dab method. 112 00:05:26,980 --> 00:05:30,019 (LAUGHTER) 113 00:05:31,020 --> 00:05:33,390 I think it's very impressive. Rhys, what have you got? 114 00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:35,550 I think rare art is what we're looking for. 115 00:05:35,580 --> 00:05:39,390 And so, on eBay, I typed in 'rare art', 116 00:05:39,390 --> 00:05:41,190 and I found this. 117 00:05:41,820 --> 00:05:42,270 Oh. 118 00:05:43,390 --> 00:05:46,070 (APPLAUSE) 119 00:05:46,110 --> 00:05:47,430 Sorry, I just had a moment there 120 00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,560 where I genuinely forgot that I released a single. 121 00:05:49,590 --> 00:05:53,220 Yeah. If we move to the next one, I have a few questions. 122 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:53,690 OK. 123 00:05:55,580 --> 00:05:57,650 You've got The United States Of Australia, 124 00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:59,600 The United States Of Australia, the radio edit, 125 00:05:59,630 --> 00:06:02,600 The United States Of Australia, the karaoke edit. 126 00:06:02,750 --> 00:06:03,080 Yes. 127 00:06:03,590 --> 00:06:05,780 I wish I could play it for you. 128 00:06:05,810 --> 00:06:08,690 Neither myself nor the production, in the last week, 129 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,910 have worked out how to get it played. 130 00:06:10,940 --> 00:06:11,660 Like... 131 00:06:11,990 --> 00:06:13,730 What you're forgetting too, is that 132 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:15,560 if you could work out how to play it, 133 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:18,650 you would have to get the permission from the rights of the owner. 134 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:20,600 Yeah, yeah. So I'd have to grant it. 135 00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:22,340 Yeah. And I don't. 136 00:06:22,469 --> 00:06:25,190 (LAUGHTER) 137 00:06:25,490 --> 00:06:27,260 Alright. Well, a lot to think about there. 138 00:06:27,290 --> 00:06:29,630 Mel's was not great artwork, so that's one for Mel. 139 00:06:29,660 --> 00:06:30,770 Two points to Aaron Chen 140 00:06:30,770 --> 00:06:32,660 'cause I don't know how to break this to him, 141 00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:35,390 because he seems so unaware of what he does. 142 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:38,360 I mean, I know he dresses it up as comedy, 143 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:40,430 but I think he's genuinely thick. 144 00:06:41,540 --> 00:06:44,060 I'm not quite getting it, but I'll accept the points. 145 00:06:46,460 --> 00:06:48,800 I'm going to give three points to Pete. Three points to DaVinci? 146 00:06:48,890 --> 00:06:51,620 I've got a feeling, I think it may not be an original. 147 00:06:52,710 --> 00:06:54,480 I didn't want to say anything. Yeah. 148 00:06:55,830 --> 00:06:57,630 Four points to Concetta. 149 00:06:57,660 --> 00:06:59,910 But because it was the greatest artwork on offer tonight, 150 00:06:59,940 --> 00:07:02,130 obviously I'm going to give five points to Rhys. 151 00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:03,840 (APPLAUSE) 152 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:05,040 I mean, it was a masterpiece. 153 00:07:06,090 --> 00:07:07,350 Alright, let's get on with it. 154 00:07:07,380 --> 00:07:09,150 Show me a proper task. 155 00:07:09,180 --> 00:07:11,340 What better way to get this episode started, 156 00:07:11,340 --> 00:07:13,650 than a steaming, warm bucket of Joe. 157 00:07:27,810 --> 00:07:30,060 Don't know why I came out with a strut? Oh, right. Yeah. 158 00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:31,950 You look nice. Oh, thanks. 159 00:07:34,230 --> 00:07:34,680 OK. 160 00:07:34,710 --> 00:07:35,040 Hi, Concetta. 161 00:07:36,510 --> 00:07:38,250 Oh, a wet one. 162 00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:40,470 It's in, um... It's in a bucket. Mm. 163 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:42,270 Oh. It's warm. 164 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,240 Why is it warm? 165 00:07:45,390 --> 00:07:48,210 Is this coffee or is it poopy-cacca water? 166 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:49,830 What was the second option? 167 00:07:49,860 --> 00:07:51,770 Poopy-cacca water. Oh. 168 00:07:52,220 --> 00:07:53,450 I'll open that up, shall I? 169 00:07:56,150 --> 00:07:57,380 Drop the coffee. 170 00:07:57,410 --> 00:08:01,040 You have ten minutes and one drop only. 171 00:08:01,070 --> 00:08:04,520 Most litres of un-spilled coffee 172 00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:08,240 multiplied by metres dropped wins. 173 00:08:08,270 --> 00:08:12,260 What? You have to help me understand. 174 00:08:12,290 --> 00:08:15,500 Your time starts...now. 175 00:08:15,530 --> 00:08:17,000 I don't get it! 176 00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:23,000 Well, Concetta, it was good to see you back doing what you do best - 177 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,590 being confused by a task. 178 00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:27,890 So, Lesser Tom, can you slow it down for her? 179 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:30,440 Basically, it's the number of metres dropped, 180 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:32,929 multiplied by the number of litres of coffee 181 00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:35,750 left in whatever receptacle after the drop occurs. 182 00:08:35,780 --> 00:08:37,370 First up, a couple of flat whites - 183 00:08:37,370 --> 00:08:38,510 it's Pete and Rhys. (LAUGHTER) 184 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:42,080 Does it need to stay in here? 185 00:08:42,110 --> 00:08:44,090 Like, if I tip it into another vessel? 186 00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:46,730 Is that spilling? A spill is an accident. 187 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,440 A spill is an accident. A spill is an accident. 188 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,130 I was a spill. You were a spill? 189 00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:51,420 I was an accident. Oh. 190 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:53,760 I could go up there. That seems... 191 00:08:53,790 --> 00:08:56,100 That seems too high. To prevent spillage. Yeah. 192 00:08:56,130 --> 00:08:58,890 I have 10 minutes. 7 minutes 30. 193 00:08:59,190 --> 00:08:59,700 Alright. 194 00:08:59,730 --> 00:09:02,070 What's happening here? I'm gonna put the coffee in this bag. 195 00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:03,510 Are you gonna put all that coffee in that? 196 00:09:03,540 --> 00:09:05,010 'Cause then I'm gonna lock this up. 197 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:06,780 Oh. And none of it will spill out of that? 198 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:08,760 Mate, these are... 199 00:09:08,790 --> 00:09:11,730 If this is a good brand, that coffee is not going anywhere. 200 00:09:11,730 --> 00:09:14,460 I'm gonna fill these with coffee. OK. 201 00:09:15,270 --> 00:09:16,620 This is actually a good idea. 202 00:09:17,070 --> 00:09:18,270 This is really nice. 203 00:09:19,410 --> 00:09:20,850 I'm gonna pour some coffee in here. 204 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:22,200 Led Zeppelin song. 205 00:09:22,230 --> 00:09:24,300 Pour some coffee in... 206 00:09:24,330 --> 00:09:25,080 What album is that on? 207 00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:26,850 Um. Hysteria. 208 00:09:27,030 --> 00:09:28,950 Oh, and now this doesn't seal. 209 00:09:28,950 --> 00:09:31,410 So the problem with what is happening here is.. 210 00:09:31,410 --> 00:09:32,790 The budget on the show. OK. 211 00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:34,770 There we go. This is actually good stuff. 212 00:09:35,190 --> 00:09:36,600 That'll do, that'll do. 213 00:09:36,990 --> 00:09:38,430 This is not good. 214 00:09:38,460 --> 00:09:41,610 Oh, this is a good idea. This is actually a really good idea. 215 00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:42,870 And I'm gonna go... 216 00:09:44,130 --> 00:09:45,720 I'm gonna go up there. OK. 217 00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:47,550 And I'm gonna drop it. OK. 218 00:09:47,730 --> 00:09:49,280 And it's not gonna spill. 219 00:09:50,030 --> 00:09:50,780 Nup. 220 00:09:51,530 --> 00:09:54,890 I'm just gonna provide some security for the coffee in the bag. 221 00:09:55,310 --> 00:09:57,230 Do you have an idea of where you're gonna drop it from? 222 00:09:57,320 --> 00:10:00,320 I'm gonna climb up on the third railing of that. 223 00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:01,640 On here? Yeah. Wow. 224 00:10:01,670 --> 00:10:05,480 I want you to know I know this isn't good. OK. 225 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:06,710 It's ready to go, I think. 226 00:10:06,770 --> 00:10:08,840 The genius in this is the... Genius? 227 00:10:08,870 --> 00:10:11,750 I've basically created the goon bag. Right. 228 00:10:11,780 --> 00:10:13,790 A classic thing I associate with geniuses. 229 00:10:14,010 --> 00:10:15,050 (LAUGHS) 230 00:10:15,050 --> 00:10:16,250 So I'm gonna do it now. 231 00:10:16,670 --> 00:10:18,230 And it's not gonna spill. 232 00:10:18,260 --> 00:10:19,610 OK. You ready? Yep. 233 00:10:20,210 --> 00:10:22,550 One. Two. Three. 234 00:10:23,330 --> 00:10:23,660 Oh! Sh... 235 00:10:29,870 --> 00:10:30,590 Pretty good. 236 00:10:30,980 --> 00:10:31,730 Here we go. 237 00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:35,690 Perfect. 238 00:10:38,990 --> 00:10:39,590 Nailed it. 239 00:10:39,770 --> 00:10:42,020 I mean... It's refreshing. 240 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:43,670 There's some in your mouth. Yeah. 241 00:10:43,700 --> 00:10:45,410 It's a bit weak. I usually have it a bit stronger. 242 00:10:45,540 --> 00:10:49,100 (APPLAUSE) 243 00:10:50,070 --> 00:10:51,840 Now, hear me out. Yeah. 244 00:10:52,650 --> 00:10:55,350 As I explained at the beginning of the task, 245 00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:58,770 a spill is only an accident. 246 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:02,310 If you know exactly how this is going to end, 247 00:11:02,340 --> 00:11:04,320 that ain't no accident, baby. 248 00:11:04,950 --> 00:11:06,870 So, that is not SPILT liquid. 249 00:11:06,870 --> 00:11:08,880 That is distributed liquid. 250 00:11:09,311 --> 00:11:11,030 (LAUGHTER) 251 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:18,000 Now, Peter, you dropped your coffee from... 252 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,620 How high do you reckon it was? 253 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:20,850 Oh, 20 foot. 254 00:11:22,170 --> 00:11:23,970 I didn't want to go too high. Yeah, I know. 255 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:27,000 So I went maybe say, let's say 20 foot. Let's say that. 256 00:11:27,450 --> 00:11:28,230 I'd like to point out 257 00:11:28,230 --> 00:11:30,510 there was a lot of coffee still in that bucket. 258 00:11:30,540 --> 00:11:32,550 May have seen a bit of a splash. Well, I know. 259 00:11:32,550 --> 00:11:33,780 I think heaps stayed in. 260 00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,610 And I think that, once again, in this show, Pete, 261 00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:38,130 you've shown that your lack of ambition paid off. 262 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:45,240 Can we get the results on how they did? Absolutely. 263 00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:47,180 There were 7 litres of coffee in the bucket 264 00:11:47,180 --> 00:11:48,440 at the beginning of the task. 265 00:11:48,470 --> 00:11:51,350 Pete had 6.1 litres after the drop. 266 00:11:51,350 --> 00:11:54,500 Pete dropped the bucket from 1.49m, 267 00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:59,360 which means 9.09 litre-metres is Peter's score. 268 00:11:59,540 --> 00:12:03,620 There was a tiny bit of coffee left in the bag that Reece dropped. 269 00:12:03,620 --> 00:12:07,580 But heaps on the concrete and the grass. 270 00:12:07,610 --> 00:12:10,070 Are we accepting this? No. 271 00:12:11,540 --> 00:12:13,760 There was 16mL left there, 272 00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:17,570 which, multiplied by 5.1m, 273 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:21,530 your litre-metre score is 0.816. 274 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:24,170 Who's next, Lesser Tom? 275 00:12:24,170 --> 00:12:26,720 One of them says "Don't talk to me before I've had my coffee." 276 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:29,090 The other says, "Don't even talk to me, all the time." 277 00:12:29,090 --> 00:12:30,290 It's Concetta and Mel. 278 00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:34,370 Can I use anything in the area? Sure. 279 00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:41,240 Is this you inspecting the area? Yep. 280 00:12:41,330 --> 00:12:43,130 I wonder how much would spill just from there. 281 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:44,420 I don't want to get dirty. 282 00:12:44,490 --> 00:12:46,950 You don't want to get dirty? Look at me. I look beautiful. 283 00:12:46,980 --> 00:12:48,090 I got to go out later. 284 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:49,650 You're going out in that later? Yeah. 285 00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:51,390 Where are you going? To the club. (LAUGHS) 286 00:12:52,530 --> 00:12:55,380 You can come if you want, but not in that. 287 00:12:55,410 --> 00:12:56,760 No way. 288 00:12:57,030 --> 00:12:58,740 Is this to cushion the fall? Yep. 289 00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:00,900 Very good, Tom. Very clever. 290 00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:04,380 I bet maths and science and physics comes to play. 291 00:13:04,410 --> 00:13:06,900 Do you think maths and science and physics comes to play? 292 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:09,690 Yeah. What's so crazy about that sentence? 293 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:11,580 I think the phrase maybe you were reaching for is 294 00:13:11,580 --> 00:13:13,140 that it comes INTO play. Yeah. 295 00:13:14,970 --> 00:13:18,600 No, it's my girlies, science, maths... 296 00:13:19,740 --> 00:13:21,630 Come to play? ..and physics come to play in the club. 297 00:13:23,310 --> 00:13:24,570 So it's going to land straight up. 298 00:13:24,660 --> 00:13:26,310 Yeah. Good point. Yep. 299 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:29,070 Yeah, it will. It'll definitely land straight up. 300 00:13:29,070 --> 00:13:30,360 Just... Boop! Yep. 301 00:13:30,390 --> 00:13:32,850 Oh. What about something like this? 302 00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:34,950 Are you gonna drop? I don't know. 303 00:13:35,370 --> 00:13:36,600 How long have I got? 304 00:13:36,630 --> 00:13:39,150 Six minutes and seven seconds. Oh, we should be just chatting. 305 00:13:39,180 --> 00:13:42,270 Hanging out, shooting the shit. 306 00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:44,780 That's pretty good. 307 00:13:45,110 --> 00:13:45,710 Oh! 308 00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:47,660 Can I think smarter? 309 00:13:49,820 --> 00:13:51,680 Be smart, Concetta. 310 00:13:51,770 --> 00:13:53,150 OK, I'm doing the ladder. 311 00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:57,950 That's pretty good. 312 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:01,070 OK. I'm scared. You're scared? 313 00:14:01,070 --> 00:14:03,800 I don't know if I could go much higher than this. 314 00:14:04,370 --> 00:14:07,160 This looks good quality. OK. What are you gonna do? 315 00:14:07,190 --> 00:14:09,080 I'm gonna go low drop. OK. 316 00:14:09,110 --> 00:14:11,690 Max litres instead of max metres. 317 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,070 OK. 21 seconds left. 318 00:14:13,100 --> 00:14:14,210 How long? 21. 319 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:17,600 Girlies, I'll see you at the club... 320 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:18,620 ..tonight! 321 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:22,081 (BLEEP!) 322 00:14:26,690 --> 00:14:28,610 No! No! 323 00:14:28,790 --> 00:14:32,360 10 seconds. Ten. Nine. Eight. 324 00:14:32,390 --> 00:14:33,260 Seven. Six. 325 00:14:43,890 --> 00:14:45,120 Oh. That's empty. 326 00:14:45,150 --> 00:14:47,490 That is good and empty. 327 00:14:55,230 --> 00:14:59,070 Now, at one point, Concetta, you told yourself to be smart. 328 00:14:59,820 --> 00:15:03,180 Why didn't you come up with that strategy earlier in this series? 329 00:15:06,210 --> 00:15:07,920 Can I be frank with you, Tom? 330 00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:09,840 I think my motto the whole time 331 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:12,960 was have fun and just hang out with Tom Cashman. 332 00:15:13,950 --> 00:15:16,950 And so I didn't really think too hard. 333 00:15:16,980 --> 00:15:17,430 Yeah. 334 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:19,530 Well, I think you spent most of the time 335 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:22,050 actually just getting ready to go to the club. 336 00:15:24,060 --> 00:15:25,380 I love when you say it. 337 00:15:25,530 --> 00:15:29,100 Now, Mel, you never really miss a chance to rap. 338 00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:31,380 And then you just uttered out in the middle of a sentence, 339 00:15:31,380 --> 00:15:33,840 'max litres instead of max metres'. 340 00:15:35,130 --> 00:15:37,980 Sister's got flow when she's just riffing. 341 00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:39,930 Thank you. I was very impressed with that. 342 00:15:39,930 --> 00:15:41,810 Thank you, my dude. How many points would you say? 343 00:15:41,810 --> 00:15:45,050 That's like a si...five, four. 344 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:47,480 I feel like we need the actual measurement. What happened there? 345 00:15:47,510 --> 00:15:49,220 Well, Mel was actually very successful 346 00:15:49,220 --> 00:15:52,100 at guessing how many millilitres were left in the bucket. 347 00:15:52,130 --> 00:15:56,240 She guessed that there were 700. There were 730mL left in the bucket. 348 00:15:56,270 --> 00:15:57,290 I know myself. 349 00:15:57,320 --> 00:16:00,200 You dropped it from 0.37m high, 350 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:03,740 which gives you a litre-metre score of 0.27. 351 00:16:04,340 --> 00:16:07,430 There was 39mL left in Concetta's bucket, 352 00:16:07,460 --> 00:16:13,130 multiplied by 1.98m gives her 0.077 litre-metres. 353 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:16,430 All this coffee chat has got my mouth watering. 354 00:16:16,460 --> 00:16:18,860 Time for a break so I can yell at my assistant 355 00:16:18,860 --> 00:16:20,390 to go and get me a coffee. 356 00:16:20,420 --> 00:16:22,010 More Taskmaster after this. 357 00:16:33,110 --> 00:16:35,120 Welcome back to Taskmaster, everyone, 358 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:36,980 where five comedians are competing 359 00:16:36,980 --> 00:16:39,140 for the thing every comedian dreams of, 360 00:16:39,180 --> 00:16:40,890 but few ever attain - 361 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:42,000 $50. (LAUGHTER) 362 00:16:42,930 --> 00:16:45,810 We've been watching comedians run around dropping coffee, 363 00:16:45,810 --> 00:16:48,570 and I'm not describing their day jobs as baristas. 364 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:51,600 What am I describing, Lesser Tom? Our contestants are dropping coffee 365 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:55,020 from the highest height they can while spilling the least of it. 366 00:16:55,050 --> 00:16:57,420 Next up, he likes his coffee, and he likes women, 367 00:16:57,420 --> 00:17:00,120 but there's no relationship between the two. It's Aaron Chen. 368 00:17:01,260 --> 00:17:02,460 Can I get a towel? 369 00:17:02,490 --> 00:17:04,560 I'll get you a towel. Yeah, please. Many towels. 370 00:17:04,589 --> 00:17:06,540 Many towels? As many... Or fabric. 371 00:17:06,569 --> 00:17:08,430 Lots of fabric. OK. Yeah. And get on it. 372 00:17:08,460 --> 00:17:09,420 OK. Alright. 373 00:17:10,650 --> 00:17:13,170 Oh, my gosh. Let's go upstairs, Tom. 374 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,490 We're going upstairs? Yeah. 375 00:17:14,550 --> 00:17:15,420 So, what are you doing? 376 00:17:15,450 --> 00:17:18,150 So I'm gonna soak the coffee in the towel 377 00:17:18,150 --> 00:17:21,150 so there's less likelihood of spillage. 378 00:17:21,150 --> 00:17:23,490 And then you're going to wring the towels at the end. 379 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,170 I'm gonna ring them? What will I say? 380 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:27,839 No joking, mate. OK. 381 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:29,610 See, if these towels remain, 382 00:17:29,970 --> 00:17:33,630 then any coffee that is soaked into these towels... 383 00:17:33,660 --> 00:17:36,570 That all chaos? That all counts. It's unspilled. 384 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:37,920 Do you have gaffer tape? 385 00:17:37,970 --> 00:17:40,670 How much time do we have left? Four minutes and five seconds. 386 00:17:41,210 --> 00:17:43,040 I'll be having a nap at the end of this. 387 00:17:43,070 --> 00:17:45,650 Do you want me to get you a pillow? Yeah, please. 388 00:17:47,780 --> 00:17:49,550 Just one more for good measure, 389 00:17:49,820 --> 00:17:52,730 and then I'm gonna wrap it in a towel. 390 00:17:54,170 --> 00:17:57,530 What's that for? Uh, to cushion. 391 00:17:57,560 --> 00:17:59,780 I'm not going to have a nap anymore, I've decided. 392 00:17:59,810 --> 00:18:01,250 OK. Alright. 393 00:18:02,180 --> 00:18:04,130 This is so scary. OK. 394 00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:05,780 I should have... What are you scared of? 395 00:18:06,110 --> 00:18:07,940 That this is going to break. 396 00:18:09,260 --> 00:18:10,520 Oh, yes! 397 00:18:14,330 --> 00:18:15,230 Number one. 398 00:18:15,890 --> 00:18:17,180 You happy with that? Yeah. 399 00:18:17,750 --> 00:18:19,460 That's zero spillage. No spillage. 400 00:18:19,490 --> 00:18:21,320 Maybe a few droplets at the start. 401 00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:23,180 A few droplets? I mean... 402 00:18:24,110 --> 00:18:25,730 Yeah. No spillage. 403 00:18:30,290 --> 00:18:32,630 Aaron, that may have been the best-executed task 404 00:18:32,630 --> 00:18:33,980 we've ever seen on this show. 405 00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:36,260 Thank you for saying that. (APPLAUSE) 406 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:41,790 I mean, even Lesser Tom's joke about phoning the towels couldn't ruin it. 407 00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:45,150 So was there any spillage at all? 408 00:18:45,180 --> 00:18:47,760 There was a bit of spillage at the beginning when he was taking the bucket up, 409 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:52,140 but there was 6.94 litres left in the bucket. 410 00:18:52,170 --> 00:18:54,360 If you multiply that by the distance dropped, 411 00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:55,770 which was exactly 5m - 412 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:58,590 34.7 litre-metres. 413 00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:01,159 (APPLAUSE) 414 00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,330 I can't believe I'm asking this, 415 00:19:03,330 --> 00:19:05,430 but where does that place him in this task? 416 00:19:06,870 --> 00:19:08,310 Well, afterwards... 417 00:19:10,110 --> 00:19:12,600 Concetta takes home one point. Then we've got Mel on two. 418 00:19:12,630 --> 00:19:15,450 You joke around, Rhys - you somehow get three points. 419 00:19:15,690 --> 00:19:16,530 Pete gets four. 420 00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:19,560 And the winner of the task, of course, is Aaron Chen with five points. 421 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,050 (APPLAUSE) 422 00:19:22,050 --> 00:19:24,210 So, what does that mean for our scores, Lesser Tom? 423 00:19:24,270 --> 00:19:25,350 Everyone is doing so well. 424 00:19:25,350 --> 00:19:27,270 But the leader, on eight points, is Rhys. 425 00:19:27,390 --> 00:19:27,810 OK. (APPLAUSE) 426 00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:32,520 Alright, strudel boy, one more task, please. 427 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:34,800 This one involves an out-of-retreat excursion. 428 00:19:34,830 --> 00:19:37,340 Did they all get their permission slips signed on time? 429 00:19:52,100 --> 00:19:54,290 Hi, Mel. Hi, bin juice. Good morning. 430 00:19:54,290 --> 00:19:56,900 What a beautiful day, Tom. 431 00:19:56,900 --> 00:19:58,760 Do you like rain? Love it. 432 00:19:58,790 --> 00:19:59,840 (DEEP VOICE) Hey, Tom. 433 00:20:01,670 --> 00:20:02,540 (LAUGHS) Who's this? 434 00:20:02,870 --> 00:20:04,880 This is me. But I'm cool. 435 00:20:04,910 --> 00:20:05,510 Oh, right. 436 00:20:06,140 --> 00:20:06,890 This supposed to be there? 437 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:10,010 Cowboy themed. Maybe. 438 00:20:13,430 --> 00:20:16,520 Ask your taxi driver about how their day has been. 439 00:20:16,550 --> 00:20:20,150 The taxi has been arranged to take you to the shops and back. 440 00:20:20,210 --> 00:20:22,460 Women love shopping! I love the shops. 441 00:20:22,490 --> 00:20:26,750 You have until the taxi returns to get as much detail about their day 442 00:20:26,750 --> 00:20:27,950 as you can. 443 00:20:27,980 --> 00:20:29,300 Your time starts now. 444 00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:30,941 (SQUEALS) 445 00:20:30,950 --> 00:20:31,820 Thanks, Tom. 446 00:20:32,180 --> 00:20:34,070 Why's there a cowboy boot? 447 00:20:35,070 --> 00:20:36,690 It's not cowboy themed. 448 00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:39,150 You could have just said no. 449 00:20:39,180 --> 00:20:40,650 Hello! Hi. 450 00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:43,260 My name is Aaron. Hi, Aaron, I'm Tony. 451 00:20:43,290 --> 00:20:44,490 What's your name, Tony? 452 00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:45,720 Yeah. Tony. Good. 453 00:20:45,750 --> 00:20:47,910 Um, and we're going to the shops. 454 00:20:47,940 --> 00:20:49,650 Take your time, though. Drive slowly. 455 00:20:49,650 --> 00:20:51,810 I get real bad motion sickness. 456 00:20:59,850 --> 00:21:00,960 Hey, Tom. Hi, Pete. 457 00:21:00,990 --> 00:21:02,610 He's nice. Yeah? 458 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:03,990 Yeah, he's a lovely bloke. 459 00:21:04,020 --> 00:21:04,710 Um. 460 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:07,500 Look, there's a second shoe. Huh? 461 00:21:08,910 --> 00:21:10,680 Could learn a thing or two from Tony. 462 00:21:10,710 --> 00:21:14,100 What could I learn from Tony? About getting to the point. Oh, OK. 463 00:21:14,610 --> 00:21:16,740 If I asked him if this was cowboy themed, 464 00:21:16,770 --> 00:21:18,510 he'd give me a yes-or-no answer. OK. 465 00:21:18,810 --> 00:21:20,100 So are they? 466 00:21:20,700 --> 00:21:21,450 Well, you'll see. 467 00:21:23,420 --> 00:21:26,900 (LAUGHS) 468 00:21:26,910 --> 00:21:30,720 Write and perform a country song about your taxi driver's day. 469 00:21:30,750 --> 00:21:32,940 Most powerful country song wins. 470 00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:34,310 You have 60 minutes. 471 00:21:34,340 --> 00:21:37,490 (DRAWLS) Your time starts now. 472 00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:41,750 I can't sing or play an instrument in the slightest, Tom. 473 00:21:41,780 --> 00:21:43,940 Can you sing? Oh, yeah. I've got some pipes. 474 00:21:44,990 --> 00:21:46,010 I've got some pipes. 475 00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:49,130 He eats a mixture of seven different types of cereals. 476 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,890 What? Seven different types of cereal. 477 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:53,030 Every morning? Yeah. 478 00:21:53,060 --> 00:21:55,220 Let's, um. Let's go write the song. OK. 479 00:21:59,660 --> 00:22:02,450 Uh, so, we can't let this slide. 480 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,340 Aaron, "What's your name, Tony?" 481 00:22:07,220 --> 00:22:11,810 No, I'm still developing, in terms of social skills. 482 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:15,290 Now, Pete, did you find it hard? Because, like, as a celebrity, 483 00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:17,000 you obviously normally sit in the back seat, 484 00:22:17,090 --> 00:22:19,880 pretend to be on your phone so you don't have to talk to drivers. 485 00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:22,190 I didn't like it. 486 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,540 Alright, well, whose draw are we going to hear first? 487 00:22:29,570 --> 00:22:32,010 She comes from the country! The country is Italy. 488 00:22:32,010 --> 00:22:33,150 It's Concetta Caristo! (APPLAUSE) 489 00:22:38,550 --> 00:22:42,630 (DRAWLS) # I met a girl called Naryssa 490 00:22:43,470 --> 00:22:48,510 # She lives a wonderful life 491 00:22:49,290 --> 00:22:56,820 # Wakes up in the morning to a channel called 93.9 492 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:04,830 # She starts every day with a coffee 493 00:23:05,310 --> 00:23:10,410 # Prefers it black like the night 494 00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:15,210 # But don't get her started on traffic 495 00:23:15,660 --> 00:23:21,000 # 'Cause that's one of her gripes 496 00:23:21,120 --> 00:23:24,090 # Oh, Naryssa 497 00:23:24,870 --> 00:23:26,820 # Naryssa 498 00:23:27,180 --> 00:23:31,940 # You and I split too soon 499 00:23:32,330 --> 00:23:37,550 # She showers in the morning and she's a Gemini 500 00:23:37,580 --> 00:23:42,650 # I hope we meet again real soon. # 501 00:23:45,830 --> 00:23:47,630 I love you, Nerissa. 502 00:23:47,751 --> 00:23:50,271 (APPLAUSE) 503 00:23:53,930 --> 00:23:55,340 I can't believe I'm saying this, 504 00:23:55,340 --> 00:23:57,830 but, Concetta, that actually wasn't that bad. 505 00:23:59,120 --> 00:24:01,850 Thank you. Are you a professional singer? 506 00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:02,930 (DRAWLS) Yes. 507 00:24:05,330 --> 00:24:07,010 And you did some great rhymes in there, too. 508 00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:08,300 I liked the way that you rhymed 509 00:24:08,300 --> 00:24:09,980 'You and I split too soon' 510 00:24:09,980 --> 00:24:12,650 with 'I hope we meet again real soon'. 511 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:13,430 Like, that was... 512 00:24:14,390 --> 00:24:16,460 The way you got 'soon' to rhyme with 'soon'... 513 00:24:16,490 --> 00:24:18,710 Rappers do it, so can I. 514 00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:21,860 Alright, give us a B-side, Cashman. Who's next? 515 00:24:21,860 --> 00:24:24,290 Will he banjo when Joe's one of his best mates? 516 00:24:24,290 --> 00:24:25,340 It's Peter Helliar. 517 00:24:25,430 --> 00:24:28,040 PETER: One. Two. Three. Four. 518 00:24:28,070 --> 00:24:33,090 # Brian's fingers grip the wheel of a taxi he drives so far 519 00:24:33,150 --> 00:24:38,340 # Those fingers that never quite learnt to play guitar 520 00:24:39,150 --> 00:24:44,160 # Brian pulled over one day to satisfy his appetite 521 00:24:44,190 --> 00:24:49,230 # He never knew Cupid was about to do him right 522 00:24:50,850 --> 00:24:53,010 # Brian with an I 523 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:54,750 # Loves Lysa with a Y 524 00:24:55,740 --> 00:24:58,620 # One day they might marry 525 00:24:58,620 --> 00:25:03,900 # This flightless bird needs to fly # Flightless bird needs to carry 526 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:07,320 # This flightless bird needs to fly 527 00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:09,660 # Flightless bird needs to carry 528 00:25:09,690 --> 00:25:12,630 # Flightless bird needs to fly 529 00:25:12,990 --> 00:25:15,630 # Flightless bird needs to fly 530 00:25:15,660 --> 00:25:17,430 # Flightless bird 531 00:25:18,810 --> 00:25:20,490 # This flightless bird 532 00:25:20,490 --> 00:25:21,720 # Needs to fly. # 533 00:25:23,860 --> 00:25:26,660 (APPLAUSE) 534 00:25:28,790 --> 00:25:31,850 I feel like you LOOKED the part of a country music star, 535 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:33,920 but it didn't quite land. 536 00:25:33,950 --> 00:25:36,620 Is that fair? Agree to disagree. Um... 537 00:25:36,650 --> 00:25:38,990 I mean, I nearly got Tom killed by... (LAUGHS) 538 00:25:40,670 --> 00:25:42,590 I'm not saying there wasn't an upside. 539 00:25:44,990 --> 00:25:46,880 Pete thought it would be a good shot 540 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,820 if I was standing in front of what was a big flock of sheep. 541 00:25:49,820 --> 00:25:51,770 When I went over there, all of them ran off 542 00:25:51,770 --> 00:25:53,690 except what was clearly the alpha. 543 00:25:54,830 --> 00:25:57,470 Imagine being out-alphaed by a sheep. 544 00:26:03,650 --> 00:26:07,100 Get out of here! We've got to do some not-allowed-to-air business. 545 00:26:07,100 --> 00:26:08,540 Release the demon sheep! 546 00:26:08,540 --> 00:26:10,010 Run, Cash-boy! 547 00:26:21,170 --> 00:26:22,610 Welcome back to Taskmaster, 548 00:26:22,610 --> 00:26:24,260 the show that answers the question 549 00:26:24,260 --> 00:26:28,260 why don't more comedians make the pivot from comedy to country music? 550 00:26:28,260 --> 00:26:30,060 Lesser Tom, bring us up to speed. 551 00:26:30,090 --> 00:26:33,390 Our contestants are writing and then singing a country song 552 00:26:33,390 --> 00:26:36,030 about the day of a taxi driver they just had a trip with. 553 00:26:36,180 --> 00:26:38,070 Alright, who's slapping the banjo next? 554 00:26:38,100 --> 00:26:40,890 What's his name? Aaron Chen. It's Aaron Chen. 555 00:26:45,270 --> 00:26:47,730 # They call me 5:30 Tony 556 00:26:48,270 --> 00:26:51,030 # But I don't think that encapsulates me 557 00:26:51,030 --> 00:26:53,400 # I'm Tony the Lion, can't you see? 558 00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,070 # And I drive a premium SUV 559 00:26:57,390 --> 00:26:59,790 (SPOKEN) I get up in the morning before my sun. 560 00:27:00,180 --> 00:27:01,950 I can't even see the sun. 561 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:05,340 I toilet, I wash my hands, I wash my face. 562 00:27:05,340 --> 00:27:08,550 I get it ready for the rat race. 563 00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:10,710 'Cause I'm Tony the Lion. 564 00:27:10,830 --> 00:27:12,390 I eat my cereal. 565 00:27:12,420 --> 00:27:14,070 # There's seven types 566 00:27:14,370 --> 00:27:16,380 # Weet-brick, weet-brick, weet-brick 567 00:27:16,410 --> 00:27:18,810 # And four other types 568 00:27:18,870 --> 00:27:21,330 (SPOKEN) But I can afford it. I don't care. 569 00:27:21,330 --> 00:27:22,890 I'm a billionaire. 570 00:27:23,370 --> 00:27:24,660 Tony the Lion. 571 00:27:26,660 --> 00:27:28,760 # I come in and I meet the first AD 572 00:27:29,180 --> 00:27:31,910 # I see a little guy, cool as can be 573 00:27:31,940 --> 00:27:36,110 # I tell him what I do with all my stuff and how much it costs 574 00:27:36,140 --> 00:27:37,940 (SPOKEN) $5-million house. 575 00:27:38,060 --> 00:27:39,860 $78,000 car. 576 00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:41,930 $5,000 coffee machine. 577 00:27:41,930 --> 00:27:44,300 And $58 on cereal, 578 00:27:44,300 --> 00:27:45,980 every single day. 579 00:27:48,050 --> 00:27:50,750 Money is extremely powerful. 580 00:27:50,750 --> 00:27:53,240 It's a, um, billionaire's world 581 00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:55,250 and you'd be a fool not to know that. 582 00:27:55,250 --> 00:27:56,780 And guess what? 583 00:27:58,100 --> 00:28:00,020 Listen to some of the other lyrics. 584 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:01,220 TONY: Hi Aaron. I'm Tony. 585 00:28:01,801 --> 00:28:04,160 (APPLAUSE) 586 00:28:06,110 --> 00:28:08,870 My favourite part was the spoken word part in the middle, 587 00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:11,450 because you gave us a little break from your singing. 588 00:28:12,590 --> 00:28:15,860 So as part of your song, you said Tony had $5-million home. 589 00:28:15,860 --> 00:28:18,350 He was a billionaire, and drove a taxi. 590 00:28:18,590 --> 00:28:21,200 I'm starting to call bullshit on the seven boxes of cereal 591 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:22,460 that he has in the morning. 592 00:28:22,490 --> 00:28:24,510 Well, I based his net worth 593 00:28:24,510 --> 00:28:28,260 based on the fact that he had seven boxes of cereal. 594 00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:32,670 OK. Maybe he asked him what his favourite cereal was 595 00:28:32,670 --> 00:28:33,840 seven times. 596 00:28:34,269 --> 00:28:37,110 (LAUGHTER) 597 00:28:40,770 --> 00:28:43,740 Alright, turn the transistor one more notch. Who's next? 598 00:28:43,770 --> 00:28:46,260 They can't sing or play an instrument in the slightest, 599 00:28:46,260 --> 00:28:48,840 which, so far, makes them about as good as everyone else here - 600 00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:50,040 it's Rhys Nicholson. 601 00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:53,070 What if I just got ChatGPT to just write it? 602 00:28:53,250 --> 00:28:54,720 Write me a funny... 603 00:28:54,750 --> 00:28:57,600 I'm gonna say two-verse country song 604 00:28:57,630 --> 00:29:00,780 about a man named Matt 605 00:29:00,810 --> 00:29:06,630 who takes photographs of his friend's truck. 606 00:29:06,630 --> 00:29:08,310 (CHUCKLES) 607 00:29:08,310 --> 00:29:10,170 It's really quickly written a song, 608 00:29:11,370 --> 00:29:13,140 and the first line of it is... 609 00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:19,590 # Old Matt's a picture-takin' man 610 00:29:19,710 --> 00:29:21,720 # Snapping shots of his friend's truck 611 00:29:21,750 --> 00:29:23,630 # It's part of his plan 612 00:29:23,630 --> 00:29:27,560 # His camera in hand, he shoots away 613 00:29:27,650 --> 00:29:31,760 Capturing that truck from every angle, come what may 614 00:29:31,910 --> 00:29:35,720 # He's fast in his click and truck pictures galore 615 00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:38,000 # But his family is missing him 616 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:39,830 # Can't take it no more 617 00:29:39,980 --> 00:29:43,700 # And waiting in for the day that Matt will come back 618 00:29:43,700 --> 00:29:45,770 # And put down that camera 619 00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:47,840 # Get a burger, no lack 620 00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:52,010 # Now here's to Matt, that truck-lovin' man 621 00:29:52,010 --> 00:29:54,140 # Clicking away with the camera 622 00:29:54,140 --> 00:29:56,120 # It's in his hands 623 00:29:56,300 --> 00:29:59,960 # Fast set of photos, its current trend 624 00:29:59,960 --> 00:30:01,700 # But maybe it's time 625 00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:03,260 # To reconnect 626 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:05,810 # With some family and friends. # 627 00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:09,170 Yeehah. 628 00:30:12,410 --> 00:30:12,980 Yeehah. 629 00:30:13,479 --> 00:30:15,519 (APPLAUSE) 630 00:30:21,450 --> 00:30:23,310 Again, that was surprisingly good. 631 00:30:23,340 --> 00:30:24,840 Thank you. It was not bad. 632 00:30:24,870 --> 00:30:26,730 I did it all myself. Yeah. 633 00:30:27,150 --> 00:30:30,630 Why does your singing voice sound more normal than your actual voice? 634 00:30:32,130 --> 00:30:34,920 (DEEP DRAWL) Well, I got to say, this is my real voice now. 635 00:30:35,850 --> 00:30:37,530 And what was the task again? 636 00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:40,710 Write and perform a country song about your taxi driver's day. 637 00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:42,360 Key word being 'write'. 638 00:30:43,110 --> 00:30:45,480 Um. You used ChatGPT to write your song. 639 00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:47,580 You didn't write the song, so you're disqualified. 640 00:30:47,610 --> 00:30:50,010 ALL: Ah! 641 00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:51,720 But it was a great song. Thank you. 642 00:30:51,750 --> 00:30:52,890 And great singing voice. 643 00:30:52,890 --> 00:30:54,510 Please use it instead of your real voice. 644 00:30:55,590 --> 00:30:56,940 (DEEP DRAWL) Oh, no. 645 00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:03,510 Alright. Who's our last performer, Tom? 646 00:31:03,510 --> 00:31:06,900 With her song It's All Danish To Me, here's Mel Buttle. 647 00:31:10,020 --> 00:31:11,610 (SPOKEN WITH DRAWL, AGAINST BACKING MUSIC) I'm feeling I'm by myself. 648 00:31:11,610 --> 00:31:15,090 Michelle left me when I was doing engineering in Sydney at UTS. 649 00:31:15,150 --> 00:31:17,700 She up and left. My favourite colour is green. 650 00:31:17,730 --> 00:31:20,930 My daughter's left. She's in Denmark being an air hostess. 651 00:31:21,650 --> 00:31:23,360 By myself once again. 652 00:31:23,571 --> 00:31:24,890 (SOBS VIOLENTLY) 653 00:31:24,890 --> 00:31:27,290 You're nothing. You're a loser. 654 00:31:27,290 --> 00:31:29,930 Your favourite chips are salt and vinegar. 655 00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:32,060 # No pumpkin in my pants and a warm feeling good 656 00:31:32,630 --> 00:31:34,220 # Put a ring on her finger 657 00:31:34,250 --> 00:31:35,840 # No, she didn't linger. 658 00:31:35,870 --> 00:31:39,290 # No reason why that look in your eyes gone cold 659 00:31:39,290 --> 00:31:41,780 # Cold - the same as Copenhagen 660 00:31:41,780 --> 00:31:44,600 # Minstrel, she's my woman now 661 00:31:44,660 --> 00:31:47,480 # Blue hull, and it's been anti-foul 662 00:31:47,510 --> 00:31:51,500 # It's just me and Alfred alone on this bed 663 00:31:51,670 --> 00:31:53,750 (SOBS) 664 00:31:54,170 --> 00:31:56,360 (RAPS) # Yo, lights out and away you go 665 00:31:56,390 --> 00:31:58,790 # It's time to say goodbye to the Danish ho 666 00:31:58,820 --> 00:32:01,340 # It's me, I'm rich, I'm on 90K 667 00:32:01,370 --> 00:32:03,560 # If I was richer, maybe I'd be gay 668 00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:06,230 # But it's just me, unfortunately, I'm a straight man 669 00:32:06,260 --> 00:32:07,550 # Danish bitches 670 00:32:07,580 --> 00:32:09,470 # Oh, they're like ham to me, mm-mm-mm 671 00:32:09,620 --> 00:32:12,530 # I'll eat them on a croissant Or a sandwich 672 00:32:12,530 --> 00:32:15,590 # Or anything else with bread 'Cause Danes love bread 673 00:32:15,590 --> 00:32:17,870 # That's what I picked up from my ex-wife! 674 00:32:18,230 --> 00:32:20,640 # Sauna, flora and fauna 675 00:32:20,670 --> 00:32:22,950 # That's what she wanted to be all the time 676 00:32:22,950 --> 00:32:25,200 # Not near me, but I was on my boat 677 00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:27,900 # I put around us an emotional note 678 00:32:27,930 --> 00:32:29,760 # Alfred's my only friend, anyway 679 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:31,470 # That's it. Peace. I'm out. Goodbye. # 680 00:32:35,610 --> 00:32:37,020 And I was feeling safe, 681 00:32:37,050 --> 00:32:39,960 thinking you're going to get through this whole task without rapping, 682 00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:42,330 and there it was, popped up right in the middle, 683 00:32:42,330 --> 00:32:43,800 when we least expected it. 684 00:32:43,830 --> 00:32:44,760 That's correct, officer. 685 00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:46,710 I thought the first half of the song was fantastic. 686 00:32:46,740 --> 00:32:48,690 Thank you so much. The lyrics were very depressing. 687 00:32:48,690 --> 00:32:52,050 I just really connected with this man's story 688 00:32:52,710 --> 00:32:53,970 on a really deep level. 689 00:32:53,970 --> 00:32:56,610 And then, like Aaron, I said, "How much money do you earn?" 'Cause he was kind of hot. 690 00:32:56,610 --> 00:32:59,460 And I was like, I can, for the right figure, turn. 691 00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:01,830 And he's talking about his boat. 692 00:33:01,830 --> 00:33:03,600 And I'm like, "I see myself on the seas." 693 00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:05,190 We can... I can get over... 694 00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:07,380 ..how you do it. Um... 695 00:33:09,780 --> 00:33:10,980 Yeah. OK. 696 00:33:10,980 --> 00:33:12,780 Well, I like the first half of the song. 697 00:33:12,810 --> 00:33:15,750 In fact, if that was the whole song, I would have given it six points. 698 00:33:15,750 --> 00:33:16,830 That's how much I liked it. 699 00:33:17,100 --> 00:33:19,640 But only half of it was a country song, so I'm giving it three. 700 00:33:19,670 --> 00:33:22,580 OK, three for Mel. Rhys is on nought, obviously. 701 00:33:22,700 --> 00:33:24,110 I'm going to give Aaron Chen two 702 00:33:24,140 --> 00:33:26,390 'cause I suspect the entire song was made up. 703 00:33:26,540 --> 00:33:28,430 All of the songs were made up. 704 00:33:28,540 --> 00:33:30,540 (LAUGHTER) 705 00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:34,460 Not mine. 706 00:33:38,300 --> 00:33:41,330 I'm going to give Pete four points. Thank you very much. 707 00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:43,730 But that was only 'cause of the sheep that attacked Tom. 708 00:33:44,690 --> 00:33:46,400 I'll take it. Happy to take it. 709 00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:51,200 I'm giving five points to Concetta because the song actually worked. 710 00:33:51,230 --> 00:33:54,200 I don't know why I'm so shocked, but it did. It actually kind of worked. 711 00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:55,641 (APPLAUSE) 712 00:33:55,820 --> 00:33:58,370 Alright, we've got to go help Rhys Nicholson detox 713 00:33:58,370 --> 00:34:00,080 from all the straight, white energy 714 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:02,300 that country music just smothered upon them. 715 00:34:02,330 --> 00:34:04,250 Yeehah! See you after the break! 716 00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:17,650 Welcome back to Taskmaster. 717 00:34:17,650 --> 00:34:21,040 Serve us our final proper task of the evening, Lesser Tom. 718 00:34:21,070 --> 00:34:23,290 Very well. But before I invite you into this one, 719 00:34:23,290 --> 00:34:25,330 please remove your shoes and your manners. 720 00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:38,889 Tom! Hi, Concetta. 721 00:34:39,550 --> 00:34:41,739 Ooh! For fun? 722 00:34:43,810 --> 00:34:47,199 Why did you sniff? I just want to know what the tiny guy had on his shoes. 723 00:34:47,230 --> 00:34:49,300 Cute. Do you like things mini? 724 00:34:49,330 --> 00:34:51,310 I feel like that's a loaded question. 725 00:34:51,340 --> 00:34:52,540 It's kind of sinister. 726 00:34:52,570 --> 00:34:55,719 Make the least-welcoming welcome mat. 727 00:34:55,750 --> 00:34:58,090 You must welcome Tom to your welcome mat... 728 00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:00,520 ..in four hours. That's a long time. 729 00:35:00,550 --> 00:35:02,350 In 25 minutes. 730 00:35:02,380 --> 00:35:03,220 25 minutes. 731 00:35:03,850 --> 00:35:06,760 Most unwelcoming welcome mat wins. 732 00:35:06,790 --> 00:35:10,090 Your time starts now. 733 00:35:10,210 --> 00:35:11,170 OK. 734 00:35:11,740 --> 00:35:14,350 Now, do I have a welcome mat to begin with? 735 00:35:14,380 --> 00:35:15,040 If you want. 736 00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:17,960 You came through. Oh. 737 00:35:18,230 --> 00:35:21,080 You can't hear all my secrets. You have to go or I have to go. 738 00:35:21,110 --> 00:35:22,100 OK. You go. 739 00:35:22,130 --> 00:35:25,880 What if it just said "I'm going to eat (BLEEP!) Tom Cashman?" 740 00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:27,830 Oh, no! 741 00:35:27,980 --> 00:35:30,710 You'd probably turn around. Well, don't turn around. 742 00:35:30,740 --> 00:35:32,720 That's asking for trouble at that point. 743 00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:37,700 Alright, let's find a... (WHISPERS) ..review of Tom Cashman. 744 00:35:37,700 --> 00:35:40,340 I think I prefer you not to see what I create. 745 00:35:40,370 --> 00:35:43,070 Can I make it a bit of a surprise? Do you want me to leave? Yeah. Please. 746 00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:45,890 Just turn your chair around so you're not looking. 747 00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:49,400 What's the meanest thing anyone's ever said to you? 748 00:35:49,610 --> 00:35:51,320 I can't really think. You've blocked it out. 749 00:35:51,590 --> 00:35:53,570 Or no-one's ever said something that mean to me. 750 00:35:53,690 --> 00:35:55,790 I don't believe that for a second. 751 00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:03,380 Now, all of you ordered Tom out of the room 752 00:36:03,380 --> 00:36:04,610 while you were trying to get organised. 753 00:36:04,610 --> 00:36:08,390 Except for Aaron, who just asked him to politely turn his chair around. 754 00:36:08,420 --> 00:36:11,120 Yeah, I wanted it to be like The Voice. 755 00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:19,440 Alright, well, let's see some unwelcome welcome mats. 756 00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:20,430 Who's first? 757 00:36:20,460 --> 00:36:22,890 They both invited me in a long time ago - 758 00:36:22,890 --> 00:36:25,050 to their hearts - it's Concetta and Aaron. 759 00:36:28,860 --> 00:36:30,330 Tom! Come in. 760 00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:33,000 Hi, Tom. Hi, Concetta. 761 00:36:33,090 --> 00:36:35,400 Welcome to my little home. 762 00:36:35,430 --> 00:36:37,530 Hey, mate. Just shoes off, please. 763 00:36:40,710 --> 00:36:43,230 How stringent is the... the shoes-off policy? 764 00:36:43,260 --> 00:36:44,760 It's really strict. 765 00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:46,170 OK. 766 00:36:46,170 --> 00:36:49,200 "If U open the door, someone is going to punch U. 767 00:36:49,740 --> 00:36:52,560 "UR evil," spelled incorrectly. 768 00:36:52,740 --> 00:36:54,300 How does that make you feel? 769 00:36:54,330 --> 00:36:56,940 It doesn't make me feel welcome. Why don't you come in? 770 00:36:57,240 --> 00:36:58,800 I can think of one reason. 771 00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:02,010 That's just the mat. Come on in. OK. 772 00:37:02,550 --> 00:37:03,480 Do you want me to step on him. 773 00:37:03,780 --> 00:37:06,570 As a human being, no. 774 00:37:07,020 --> 00:37:11,040 But as someone in the entertainment industry, 775 00:37:11,070 --> 00:37:12,480 absolutely, yes. 776 00:37:12,500 --> 00:37:13,010 OK. 777 00:37:13,850 --> 00:37:16,820 There's also a skateboard underneath, so it's not... Oh. 778 00:37:16,820 --> 00:37:21,680 It's your call. But if you care about the Australian television viewer... 779 00:37:21,910 --> 00:37:23,120 Mm. ..you would. 780 00:37:26,330 --> 00:37:27,710 Oh! 781 00:37:28,940 --> 00:37:30,560 Unwelcoming much, mate? 782 00:37:34,659 --> 00:37:37,059 (LAUGHS) Don't step on it. 783 00:37:37,730 --> 00:37:39,170 Just come in. I'm allowed in? 784 00:37:39,170 --> 00:37:40,460 Yeah, yeah. Oh, great. 785 00:37:40,490 --> 00:37:41,870 I slayed that. 786 00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:44,420 Don't mess with the Zohan. 787 00:37:44,420 --> 00:37:46,739 (LAUGHS) 788 00:37:52,970 --> 00:37:55,310 So, Aaron, it was a very unwelcome welcome mat. 789 00:37:55,550 --> 00:37:56,600 Very hazardous. 790 00:37:56,600 --> 00:37:58,340 But Lesser Tom kind of called your bluff. 791 00:37:58,340 --> 00:37:59,750 And then you welcomed him in. 792 00:38:00,590 --> 00:38:02,270 But the mat didn't. 793 00:38:05,900 --> 00:38:09,320 Concetta, I see you decided to use camera trickery 794 00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:10,970 to hit Tom in the face. 795 00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:13,050 Were you not tempted just to do the full thing? 796 00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:15,240 I was tempted but the safety guy stepped in. 797 00:38:16,650 --> 00:38:19,470 It is weird that the safety officer didn't help you with the sheep. 798 00:38:20,610 --> 00:38:22,230 He got in quick for me. 799 00:38:23,070 --> 00:38:23,970 Alright, who's next? 800 00:38:23,970 --> 00:38:26,430 Like our base-layer doormats, they're both prickly - 801 00:38:26,430 --> 00:38:28,140 one in the beard, one just in general - 802 00:38:28,140 --> 00:38:29,370 it's Pete and Mel. 803 00:38:31,950 --> 00:38:33,240 "Stand here." 804 00:38:37,470 --> 00:38:38,160 Hi, Pete. 805 00:38:38,850 --> 00:38:39,690 Oh. 806 00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:41,940 Maybe stand on... 807 00:38:43,110 --> 00:38:44,880 MEL: Not sure what you're watching, 808 00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:46,890 but it's definitely trying incredibly hard 809 00:38:46,890 --> 00:38:48,570 to copy the UK version. 810 00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:50,910 Greg and Alex have a natural chemistry. 811 00:38:50,940 --> 00:38:54,300 Both Toms are trying incredibly hard to copy that 812 00:38:54,300 --> 00:38:55,620 and are failing, 813 00:38:55,620 --> 00:38:58,620 and they're falling so incredibly short it's forced. 814 00:38:58,650 --> 00:39:00,870 So this is why you ask me my middle name earlier? 815 00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:04,230 It was. I had no interest in what your middle name actually was. 816 00:39:04,230 --> 00:39:06,000 I was being very specific 817 00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:10,280 about which Tom Cashman I was telling to (BEEP!) off. 818 00:39:10,310 --> 00:39:13,190 The routine about small-penis prejudice is cheap 819 00:39:13,190 --> 00:39:15,620 and barely in keeping with the more authentic tone 820 00:39:15,650 --> 00:39:17,000 of the rest of the show. 821 00:39:17,150 --> 00:39:18,290 So before, off camera, 822 00:39:18,290 --> 00:39:21,080 when you started the conversation with me about what my middle name was 823 00:39:21,110 --> 00:39:22,370 and then you shared your middle name, 824 00:39:22,370 --> 00:39:24,290 that was all so you could tell me to (BEEP!). 825 00:39:25,130 --> 00:39:26,120 Exactly right. 826 00:39:26,450 --> 00:39:27,980 So I think I've been very clear. 827 00:39:28,070 --> 00:39:30,560 Tom bought a really ugly rug when we lived together. 828 00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:32,840 It was purple, black, white and grey shag. 829 00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:36,140 It was like if a computer was in charge of home decor - 830 00:39:36,140 --> 00:39:38,510 from your former flatmate. 831 00:39:38,981 --> 00:39:40,981 (BLOWS WHISTLE) 832 00:39:41,090 --> 00:39:41,510 Thanks, Pete. 833 00:39:42,410 --> 00:39:44,150 What part of the welcome mat don't you understand? 834 00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:45,830 Yeah. 835 00:39:52,970 --> 00:39:56,300 I know you're trying to make Lesser Tom feel unwelcome 836 00:39:56,300 --> 00:39:58,580 by reading out bad reviews, but the review's right. 837 00:39:58,580 --> 00:39:59,930 We do have bad chemistry. 838 00:40:01,070 --> 00:40:03,260 Like, I'd hate to have good chemistry with him. 839 00:40:04,130 --> 00:40:05,090 That'd be embarrassing. 840 00:40:05,090 --> 00:40:07,550 Would you want to have good chemistry with this guy? 841 00:40:07,820 --> 00:40:09,150 Come on, banter. 842 00:40:09,860 --> 00:40:10,980 Oh... See? It's shit. 843 00:40:11,910 --> 00:40:13,020 It's shithouse. 844 00:40:13,980 --> 00:40:15,330 So the review was right. 845 00:40:16,890 --> 00:40:18,420 Now, Mel, the problem is, 846 00:40:18,420 --> 00:40:20,820 I think YOU were making him feel unwelcome. 847 00:40:20,850 --> 00:40:23,730 The welcome mat was actually saying, 'stand here'. 848 00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:25,260 Yeah, but the welcome... That's quite welcoming. 849 00:40:25,290 --> 00:40:27,060 ..the welcome mat had... Oh, God. 850 00:40:27,090 --> 00:40:28,650 It's like you don't watch the clips. Honestly. 851 00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:33,900 But I'm just saying, the mat itself, it said 'stand here'. 852 00:40:33,900 --> 00:40:35,670 I would say the mat was quite welcoming, 853 00:40:35,670 --> 00:40:37,830 despite your heinous commentary. 854 00:40:37,860 --> 00:40:39,090 Now, Pete. Yes, Tom? 855 00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:41,400 You pretty much just spray painted five words on a mat, 856 00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:43,260 and then you sat in a chair and read a book. 857 00:40:43,710 --> 00:40:45,390 It was the best afternoon I had, actually. 858 00:40:45,810 --> 00:40:48,090 Once again, you put in the bare minimum of effort 859 00:40:48,450 --> 00:40:49,860 to get maximum results. 860 00:40:49,890 --> 00:40:52,260 I mean, they're long days. They really are. 861 00:40:52,530 --> 00:40:54,990 Alright, time for an ad break in which I'm going to do my best 862 00:40:54,990 --> 00:40:58,050 to build up the self-esteem of my younger comrade here, 863 00:40:58,050 --> 00:41:01,200 just so I can have another crack at bringing it down again later. 864 00:41:01,860 --> 00:41:04,560 I'm proud of you, mate. I'm so proud of you. 865 00:41:14,780 --> 00:41:15,530 Welcome back. 866 00:41:15,530 --> 00:41:17,450 We're in the middle of a task that, so far, 867 00:41:17,450 --> 00:41:22,190 has seen four comedians put aside their deep-rooted, inescapable loathing for themselves 868 00:41:22,190 --> 00:41:25,040 and unload it instead on Tom Cashman. 869 00:41:25,790 --> 00:41:29,330 Our contestants are making the most unwelcoming welcome mat possible. 870 00:41:29,330 --> 00:41:31,460 I'm feeling very unwelcome, but I'm aware it's a comedy show, 871 00:41:31,460 --> 00:41:33,410 so I know it's all just part of a joke. 872 00:41:35,300 --> 00:41:37,340 Next up, it's Rhys Nicholson. 873 00:41:37,940 --> 00:41:39,500 I'm thinking I'm gonna burn some toast. 874 00:41:39,500 --> 00:41:40,970 So when you come to the house, 875 00:41:40,970 --> 00:41:42,980 you have a bit of a feeling like... 876 00:41:43,490 --> 00:41:45,260 "Maybe I'm having a stroke." 877 00:41:47,990 --> 00:41:49,580 What can I say? It's an exciting task. 878 00:41:49,610 --> 00:41:50,390 Oh, my God! 879 00:41:52,550 --> 00:41:52,640 Sorry. 880 00:41:53,030 --> 00:41:54,950 If he hands me another task 881 00:41:54,980 --> 00:41:57,950 that now says "eat the mat," 882 00:41:58,700 --> 00:41:59,210 we're (BLEEP!). 883 00:42:00,260 --> 00:42:02,600 Now you're just strolling down the street. OK. 884 00:42:02,750 --> 00:42:04,610 You come up to my house... 885 00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:08,490 Oh. "No Toms." 886 00:42:08,490 --> 00:42:10,260 And it's toast and eggs. 887 00:42:10,290 --> 00:42:11,730 Do you smell that in the air? Yeah. 888 00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:12,990 I can't smell anything. 889 00:42:13,020 --> 00:42:15,750 Are you all right? Maybe you should go to a hospital. Oh. 890 00:42:15,990 --> 00:42:18,180 Is that what you smell when you've had a... Oh. 891 00:42:19,770 --> 00:42:21,660 Is that part of the mat? Sure. 892 00:42:22,770 --> 00:42:23,790 What does that say? 893 00:42:24,510 --> 00:42:25,440 I'm going to eat (BLEEP!) 894 00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:28,350 And that's a promise. OK. 895 00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:32,340 How welcome are you feeling? Not very welcome. 896 00:42:35,100 --> 00:42:37,020 Thanks for this. You're very welcome. 897 00:42:37,410 --> 00:42:38,640 You're not at all. Oh. 898 00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:39,810 I was gonna say... 899 00:42:45,510 --> 00:42:46,530 I mean, it looks unwelcoming, 900 00:42:46,530 --> 00:42:48,510 but it also just looked like you were slovenly. 901 00:42:48,600 --> 00:42:50,250 It was very unwelcoming. 902 00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:53,940 There was tinned chicken, which, by the way, shouldn't be a thing. 903 00:42:54,210 --> 00:42:55,980 Uh, it stunk in there. 904 00:42:55,980 --> 00:42:57,660 And it was all coming from the mat. 905 00:42:57,690 --> 00:43:00,960 So you're going for a real odious combination of things. 906 00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:02,340 It smelt really bad. 907 00:43:02,340 --> 00:43:04,710 For a television show... It looked really bad. It smelt bad. 908 00:43:04,760 --> 00:43:05,930 Why is it on TV? 909 00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:09,050 The question we ask ourselves about Tom Cashman every day. 910 00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:12,800 I'm just glad you're thinking about me every day. 911 00:43:18,170 --> 00:43:19,820 I think I'm the only one 912 00:43:19,820 --> 00:43:23,390 that has gotten him to say "I do not feel welcome." 913 00:43:23,390 --> 00:43:25,490 And if we're basing it on the clips, that is... 914 00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:26,960 ..that must be pretty far up there. 915 00:43:27,650 --> 00:43:29,420 I'm not... Shut the (BLEEP!) up! No. 916 00:43:32,060 --> 00:43:32,210 Mine... 917 00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:37,970 Bit of a mess. Let's have a look at all of them. Let's get them up. 918 00:43:38,930 --> 00:43:40,970 This is pretty easy to score, I think. 919 00:43:40,970 --> 00:43:43,850 Um, Mel on one, because that's actually quite welcoming, 920 00:43:43,850 --> 00:43:44,900 saying 'stand here'. 921 00:43:44,900 --> 00:43:46,580 Two points to Rhys, 922 00:43:46,610 --> 00:43:47,810 three points to Peter Helliar, 923 00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:49,520 four points to Concetta. 924 00:43:49,550 --> 00:43:52,700 But definitely the most unwelcome mat is Aaron Chen. 925 00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:55,730 Five points to Aaron. 926 00:43:56,180 --> 00:43:58,160 Shall we look at the scoreboard, Lesser Tom? 927 00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:00,320 Yes, we can. Just like doormats, 928 00:44:00,350 --> 00:44:02,240 Mel and Rhys are all down in the dirt, 929 00:44:02,240 --> 00:44:04,900 and in a three-way-tie, Concetta, Pete and Aaron 930 00:44:04,900 --> 00:44:07,000 are walking all over them with 14 points. 931 00:44:07,540 --> 00:44:07,960 PETER: What? 932 00:44:10,720 --> 00:44:14,020 It's not over till it's over. Get onto our live task. 933 00:44:14,050 --> 00:44:15,400 Get up there, you lot. (APPLAUSE) 934 00:44:19,120 --> 00:44:20,560 I've been waiting for two seasons 935 00:44:20,560 --> 00:44:23,140 for our 'comedians being burnt at the stake' task. 936 00:44:23,620 --> 00:44:25,900 Aaron, can you please read the task? Sure. 937 00:44:27,580 --> 00:44:28,580 (KISSES) 938 00:44:29,350 --> 00:44:31,900 Win more debates than the other team. 939 00:44:31,930 --> 00:44:33,880 Each team will get 45 seconds 940 00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:36,970 to deliver their arguments on each m...mut. 941 00:44:36,970 --> 00:44:39,809 (LAUGHTER) 942 00:44:41,950 --> 00:44:42,970 It's pronounced 'moot'. 943 00:44:43,630 --> 00:44:44,500 Moot. 944 00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:50,590 Each team member may only say one word before rotating 945 00:44:50,590 --> 00:44:53,020 so their team-mate can say the next word. 946 00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:56,080 Each word must be said into the microphone. 947 00:44:56,110 --> 00:44:58,510 Tom will state the first moot... (LAUGHS) 948 00:44:58,540 --> 00:45:02,630 ..and...and the affirmative team will begin on his whistle. 949 00:45:02,660 --> 00:45:04,310 Concetta, are you ready? Yep. 950 00:45:04,340 --> 00:45:06,230 Aliens exist. 951 00:45:06,740 --> 00:45:09,800 Aliens. 100%. 952 00:45:10,550 --> 00:45:11,360 Exist. 953 00:45:11,900 --> 00:45:14,210 This. Is. 954 00:45:14,210 --> 00:45:16,970 Proven. By. 955 00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:19,760 Tom. Cashman. 956 00:45:21,980 --> 00:45:22,730 Furthermore. 957 00:45:23,570 --> 00:45:24,650 Look. 958 00:45:25,220 --> 00:45:26,270 Into. 959 00:45:26,390 --> 00:45:28,490 His. Dead. 960 00:45:29,240 --> 00:45:30,320 Beady. 961 00:45:31,790 --> 00:45:32,660 Shark. 962 00:45:33,710 --> 00:45:34,760 Alien. 963 00:45:36,140 --> 00:45:36,830 Eyes. (BLOWS WHISTLE) 964 00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:41,570 Negative team, are you ready. (BLOWS WHISTLE) 965 00:45:42,350 --> 00:45:43,280 Tom. 966 00:45:44,029 --> 00:45:45,830 Other way. 967 00:45:45,860 --> 00:45:46,610 Cashman. 968 00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:48,470 Is. 969 00:45:49,040 --> 00:45:50,090 Not. 970 00:45:50,270 --> 00:45:52,820 An. Alien. 971 00:45:52,910 --> 00:45:55,040 He. Is. 972 00:45:55,370 --> 00:45:56,180 An. 973 00:45:56,420 --> 00:45:57,860 Rat-bastard. 974 00:45:58,040 --> 00:45:59,240 Yeah! 975 00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:01,530 He. 976 00:46:02,130 --> 00:46:03,090 Doesn't. 977 00:46:03,120 --> 00:46:04,170 Even. 978 00:46:04,710 --> 00:46:05,550 Shower. 979 00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:08,430 Aliens. 980 00:46:08,790 --> 00:46:09,720 Don't. 981 00:46:10,710 --> 00:46:11,550 Mix. 982 00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:14,580 With. Others. 983 00:46:15,900 --> 00:46:16,980 So. 984 00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:18,360 They. 985 00:46:18,450 --> 00:46:19,680 Can't! 986 00:46:21,150 --> 00:46:21,600 What? 987 00:46:22,271 --> 00:46:23,831 (BLOWS WHISTLE) 988 00:46:26,520 --> 00:46:28,860 Going to go with the affirmative team. 989 00:46:28,860 --> 00:46:30,630 (APPLAUSE) 990 00:46:30,630 --> 00:46:32,220 Are you ready for the second moot? 991 00:46:32,670 --> 00:46:34,230 Si, as we say in the old country. 992 00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:37,050 We look silly strapped together. (BLOWS WHISTLE) 993 00:46:37,740 --> 00:46:38,550 Oh. 994 00:46:39,240 --> 00:46:40,110 Duh. 995 00:46:41,130 --> 00:46:42,180 Look. 996 00:46:43,110 --> 00:46:45,270 At. Us. 997 00:46:45,660 --> 00:46:47,490 Have. You. 998 00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:49,620 Ever. Seen. 999 00:46:49,650 --> 00:46:52,320 Two. Crazy. 1000 00:46:52,350 --> 00:46:53,250 Hot. 1001 00:46:53,970 --> 00:46:55,230 Ugly. 1002 00:46:56,790 --> 00:46:57,480 Women? 1003 00:46:58,320 --> 00:46:59,190 No. 1004 00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:02,570 We. Are. 1005 00:47:03,080 --> 00:47:05,240 Looking. Psycho. 1006 00:47:05,801 --> 00:47:07,080 (BLOWS WHISTLE) 1007 00:47:08,380 --> 00:47:09,920 It's the negative team ready? (BLOWS WHISTLE) 1008 00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:13,340 Now. We. 1009 00:47:13,460 --> 00:47:16,040 Are. Finally. 1010 00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:17,000 Looking. 1011 00:47:17,240 --> 00:47:18,950 Serious. 1012 00:47:19,070 --> 00:47:20,960 And. This. 1013 00:47:21,110 --> 00:47:23,630 Is. The. 1014 00:47:23,630 --> 00:47:24,800 Real. 1015 00:47:25,190 --> 00:47:26,090 Us. 1016 00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:28,670 I. Am. 1017 00:47:28,790 --> 00:47:30,410 Me. 1018 00:47:30,950 --> 00:47:31,700 Yes. 1019 00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:34,640 Also. 1020 00:47:35,090 --> 00:47:36,740 Um. Sorry. 1021 00:47:37,910 --> 00:47:38,780 We. 1022 00:47:38,810 --> 00:47:40,010 Belted. 1023 00:47:40,310 --> 00:47:41,600 Aneurysm. 1024 00:47:43,130 --> 00:47:44,090 Point-made. 1025 00:47:45,411 --> 00:47:46,610 (BLOWS WHISTLE) 1026 00:47:48,500 --> 00:47:51,170 Well, I think the Muppets were doing really well 1027 00:47:51,170 --> 00:47:53,390 until all three of them had an aneurysm. 1028 00:47:54,410 --> 00:47:56,120 I'm awarding it to Ernie and Bert. 1029 00:47:57,010 --> 00:47:59,010 (APPLAUSE) 1030 00:47:59,580 --> 00:48:02,160 Alright. You can debate whether or not those were the right judgements, 1031 00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:03,300 but I really don't care. 1032 00:48:03,330 --> 00:48:04,500 See you after the break! 1033 00:48:16,020 --> 00:48:19,140 Ahoy there! We're back on board the Taskmaster ship 1034 00:48:19,140 --> 00:48:21,630 as we sail to our episode conclusion. 1035 00:48:21,630 --> 00:48:23,820 Lesser Tom, tell the people what's happening. 1036 00:48:23,820 --> 00:48:26,730 You're about to give out some scores for the debating task we just did. 1037 00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:29,760 Ah, OK. Well, Ernie and Bert were clear winners, so they get five each. 1038 00:48:29,790 --> 00:48:31,710 Five each. And the Muppets were doing pretty well, too. 1039 00:48:31,740 --> 00:48:34,230 But then the wheels completely fell off. So it's two, two, two. 1040 00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:38,100 But what I need to ask you is 1041 00:48:38,100 --> 00:48:40,920 what does that mean for our episode winner? 1042 00:48:40,950 --> 00:48:43,830 Our winner tonight is Concetta Caristo, on 19 points! 1043 00:48:47,670 --> 00:48:49,590 Congratulations, Concetta. 1044 00:48:49,620 --> 00:48:54,390 You are now the proud owner of less than $250 worth of art. 1045 00:48:54,420 --> 00:48:55,980 Please head up to the stage 1046 00:48:55,980 --> 00:48:59,190 to enjoy your terrible new art collection. 1047 00:49:01,740 --> 00:49:04,710 OK, Concetta, please continue to enjoy your time 1048 00:49:04,710 --> 00:49:06,330 at Australia's worst art gallery. 1049 00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:08,460 Remember, as with any art gallery, 1050 00:49:08,460 --> 00:49:11,370 it's important to put your hands behind your back 1051 00:49:11,370 --> 00:49:14,790 and look seriously at each painting for a good 20 seconds 1052 00:49:14,790 --> 00:49:16,860 to make sure everyone knows you're clever 1053 00:49:16,860 --> 00:49:19,020 and totally understand what's going on. 1054 00:49:19,020 --> 00:49:19,950 (LAUGHTER) 1055 00:49:19,950 --> 00:49:23,040 Where are we with the series scores, other Tom. 1056 00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:25,380 So at the end of episode six, it's a close race, 1057 00:49:25,380 --> 00:49:27,030 but Concetta is looking solid out in front 1058 00:49:27,030 --> 00:49:29,400 with nearly a century, on 97 points. 1059 00:49:29,400 --> 00:49:31,830 And as the resident mathematician, I've crunched the numbers. 1060 00:49:31,830 --> 00:49:33,330 And if these trends were to continue, 1061 00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:36,240 they would all be in the exact same order at the end of the series, 1062 00:49:36,240 --> 00:49:37,620 but the numbers would be a bit bigger. 1063 00:49:38,161 --> 00:49:39,921 (LAUGHTER) 1064 00:49:40,950 --> 00:49:43,620 That's it everyone, we ran out of TV for you. 1065 00:49:43,650 --> 00:49:45,780 We've come to the end of another episode. 1066 00:49:45,780 --> 00:49:47,130 But what did we learn? 1067 00:49:47,130 --> 00:49:50,610 We learnt that if you drop a ziplock bag of liquid 1068 00:49:50,610 --> 00:49:52,320 from a second-storey balcony, 1069 00:49:52,350 --> 00:49:54,900 it goes exactly how you think it will. 1070 00:49:56,070 --> 00:49:59,160 We learnt that whilst most people count sheep in their dreams, 1071 00:49:59,190 --> 00:50:01,770 Tom Cashman counts them in his nightmares. 1072 00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:06,300 And we learnt that Tony's name is Tony. 1073 00:50:10,860 --> 00:50:12,270 But most importantly, 1074 00:50:12,270 --> 00:50:15,780 we learnt that Concetta is the winner of episode six. 1075 00:50:16,170 --> 00:50:17,460 See you next week. 1076 00:50:18,049 --> 00:50:20,889 (APPLAUSE) 1077 00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:33,930 What have you got for me, loser? 1078 00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:35,700 I love you. I love you. 1079 00:50:35,730 --> 00:50:37,830 Shut up! That was really nasty. 1080 00:50:37,860 --> 00:50:39,360 I would like to talk to a lawyer. 1081 00:50:39,390 --> 00:50:40,230 Come on! Agh! 1082 00:50:40,920 --> 00:50:43,410 Time travel - dress like a condom. 1083 00:50:43,410 --> 00:50:43,980 Quick! (BLOWS WHISTLE) 1084 00:50:44,790 --> 00:50:46,110 You stupid bitch! 1085 00:50:46,140 --> 00:50:47,790 I love you. 1086 00:50:47,820 --> 00:50:49,650 He's difficult to work with. 1087 00:50:51,019 --> 00:50:54,019 Captions by Red Bee Media