1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:06,397 --> 00:00:08,269 [inserting a tape] 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:12,316 --> 00:00:16,016 Why do you think you're ready to transcend? 5 00:00:16,146 --> 00:00:18,801 Why? 6 00:00:18,931 --> 00:00:21,151 Because I've listened to every word you've said. 7 00:00:21,282 --> 00:00:24,546 I've studied the scripts that you have wrote. 8 00:00:24,676 --> 00:00:26,417 I've listened to every speech. 9 00:00:26,548 --> 00:00:30,726 I've-- I've cataloged every moment. 10 00:00:30,856 --> 00:00:35,731 I don't think there's a way that I'm not ready to transcend. 11 00:00:35,861 --> 00:00:40,518 I hunger for the next realm. 12 00:00:40,649 --> 00:00:42,999 I can't wait. 13 00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:47,351 I mean, because it sounds fucking sick, honestly. 14 00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:49,266 This tree that we're on is burning 15 00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:51,877 and it's telling us to get off. 16 00:00:52,008 --> 00:00:54,010 It's too hot. 17 00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:56,273 It's full of pain. 18 00:00:56,404 --> 00:01:02,279 In my heart, I know that we're meant to be so much more. 19 00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:06,370 I had a family before, and I left them to come with you. 20 00:01:06,501 --> 00:01:09,678 Because of your teachings, I convinced a Chinese lady 21 00:01:09,808 --> 00:01:11,984 with dementia I was her son. 22 00:01:12,115 --> 00:01:13,464 I don't even know how it happened, 23 00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:16,815 but just kind of channeling you-- 24 00:01:16,946 --> 00:01:20,515 and I got like $13,000 out of her before she realized I 25 00:01:20,645 --> 00:01:22,430 didn't actually know how to speak Mandarin. 26 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:25,607 I was just kind of doing the sounds. 27 00:01:25,737 --> 00:01:28,218 Any final thoughts? 28 00:01:28,349 --> 00:01:32,266 Just thank you. 29 00:01:32,396 --> 00:01:36,705 I feel too lucky to have met this family. 30 00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:42,363 Me and you fucking getting slurped up. 31 00:01:42,493 --> 00:01:44,104 God's watching. 32 00:01:44,234 --> 00:01:46,018 Buddha will probably be there. 33 00:01:46,149 --> 00:01:49,152 Let's all try to get along. 34 00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:50,806 Marilyn Monroe. Oh. 35 00:01:50,936 --> 00:01:52,068 You're getting it from the back. 36 00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:52,982 Oh. 37 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,636 You know what I'm saying? 38 00:01:54,766 --> 00:01:57,465 Even if there's one person that we may not like-- 39 00:01:57,595 --> 00:01:58,683 Maybe Marlon Brando. 40 00:01:58,814 --> 00:02:00,294 You ever see him when he was young? 41 00:02:00,424 --> 00:02:01,599 Piece of ass. 42 00:02:01,730 --> 00:02:03,688 And in heaven, being gay is not bad. 43 00:02:03,819 --> 00:02:05,995 It's actually cool. 44 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:09,607 Let's welcome him into our fold. 45 00:02:09,738 --> 00:02:13,568 I can't wait to spend forever with you, dawg. 46 00:02:13,698 --> 00:02:18,050 It's going to be awesome, me and you forever. 47 00:02:18,181 --> 00:02:19,139 Forever. 48 00:02:25,754 --> 00:02:31,890 Worms, that's all we are-- 49 00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:37,722 wasting our days writhing in the mud, bound to vessels 50 00:02:37,853 --> 00:02:41,639 that suffocate our potential. 51 00:02:41,770 --> 00:02:47,471 But for this family, for those who know the truth, today 52 00:02:47,602 --> 00:02:52,346 we reject our earthly bondage and embrace 53 00:02:52,476 --> 00:02:54,826 our rightful destiny. 54 00:02:54,957 --> 00:03:03,095 Today we grow legs, sprout wings, and open eyes 55 00:03:03,226 --> 00:03:06,882 that see for the first time. 56 00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:12,017 Today we return to Jalanzana. 57 00:03:12,148 --> 00:03:13,280 To Jalanzana. 58 00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:14,281 Xana. 59 00:03:18,589 --> 00:03:20,983 Hey, dude, check it out. 60 00:03:21,113 --> 00:03:22,158 What? 61 00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:23,159 Look down, dude. 62 00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:24,204 Look. 63 00:03:24,334 --> 00:03:27,946 [laughs] 64 00:03:28,077 --> 00:03:28,991 Fuck you. 65 00:03:29,121 --> 00:03:30,340 You're disgusting. 66 00:03:49,707 --> 00:03:52,971 Do we have a rag I could wipe this with? 67 00:03:53,102 --> 00:03:55,887 Or honestly, a whole new cup would be a lot better, actually. 68 00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:57,802 No. Just drink it. 69 00:03:57,933 --> 00:04:00,414 Kathleen just rubbed her whole mouth on it right before me. 70 00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:02,329 - So what? - So what? 71 00:04:02,459 --> 00:04:03,678 So I'm clean as a whistle. 72 00:04:03,808 --> 00:04:05,332 I'm not trying to get herpes all over 73 00:04:05,462 --> 00:04:06,463 my thinking balls 'cause you rubbed your dirty ass lips all 74 00:04:06,594 --> 00:04:07,072 over the fucking thing. 75 00:04:07,203 --> 00:04:08,596 Chip. 76 00:04:08,726 --> 00:04:09,727 Fine. 77 00:04:13,644 --> 00:04:14,602 [chokes] 78 00:04:14,732 --> 00:04:15,907 [coughs] 79 00:04:17,169 --> 00:04:17,996 All right, that's it. We're done. 80 00:04:18,127 --> 00:04:19,433 [claps] 81 00:04:19,563 --> 00:04:20,869 What? Come on. 82 00:04:20,999 --> 00:04:22,436 It was just a practice run. Who cares? 83 00:04:22,566 --> 00:04:23,872 Punishment barn. 84 00:04:24,002 --> 00:04:27,571 I've been in the punishment barn all month. 85 00:04:27,702 --> 00:04:28,659 Fuck you, Kathleen. 86 00:04:33,098 --> 00:04:36,537 [upbeat music playing] 87 00:04:52,422 --> 00:04:54,294 [rooster crowing] 88 00:04:54,424 --> 00:04:55,904 Shut your mouth. 89 00:04:56,034 --> 00:04:57,906 [rooster crowing] 90 00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:08,003 Stupid raccoons ate all my kettle corns and on-the-go 91 00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:09,134 desserts. 92 00:05:19,014 --> 00:05:20,015 What's up? 93 00:05:22,670 --> 00:05:24,062 How are we doing. What's up, Gabe? 94 00:05:24,193 --> 00:05:25,107 Good morning. 95 00:05:25,237 --> 00:05:28,240 Good morning. 96 00:05:28,371 --> 00:05:29,981 [laughs] Fuck you, dude. 97 00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:31,026 I'm just fucking around. 98 00:05:31,156 --> 00:05:32,201 Can I get some coffee or what? 99 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,898 - Morning family. - Morning. 100 00:05:34,029 --> 00:05:35,117 William. 101 00:05:35,247 --> 00:05:36,205 Good morning. 102 00:05:39,382 --> 00:05:41,210 Thank you. 103 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,430 William-- hello and good morning, Will. 104 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:46,215 I was just wondering-- and you know how I hate bringing stuff 105 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,696 up over and over again, so I'm hoping we can just settle this 106 00:05:48,826 --> 00:05:50,437 right now-- 107 00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:54,528 I was just wondering if I could have a gun or a long sword, 108 00:05:54,658 --> 00:05:56,225 like longer than what I got now. 109 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,054 Because the setup now, dude, is not snagging these raccoons 110 00:05:59,184 --> 00:06:01,709 and they are running buck wild on my various oats 111 00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:03,754 and approved crackers. 112 00:06:03,885 --> 00:06:05,016 What's the question? 113 00:06:05,147 --> 00:06:06,191 May I have a gun? 114 00:06:06,322 --> 00:06:07,671 No. 115 00:06:07,802 --> 00:06:09,456 OK. 116 00:06:09,586 --> 00:06:11,632 Agenda B, is it possible to get the generator in the mix? 117 00:06:11,762 --> 00:06:13,329 Because it might not feel like it indoors, 118 00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:14,765 but when you're sleeping outside, 119 00:06:14,896 --> 00:06:16,245 it gets pretty cold at night. 120 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,726 And I would love to just plug in the space heater. 121 00:06:18,856 --> 00:06:20,031 Are we hearing this? 122 00:06:20,162 --> 00:06:22,947 Somebody seems to forget, after tonight, 123 00:06:23,078 --> 00:06:25,515 he's going to be kept plenty warm by the Celestial Bosom. 124 00:06:25,646 --> 00:06:26,603 [laughter] 125 00:06:27,648 --> 00:06:28,518 I know. 126 00:06:28,649 --> 00:06:29,563 I'm sorry. 127 00:06:29,693 --> 00:06:30,825 I'm fucking stupid. 128 00:06:30,955 --> 00:06:32,174 It's going to be awesome, the Bosom, 129 00:06:32,304 --> 00:06:33,697 and I'm jacked for that shit. 130 00:06:33,828 --> 00:06:35,395 So rescinded. 131 00:06:35,525 --> 00:06:36,613 Request rescinded. 132 00:06:36,744 --> 00:06:39,573 Everybody gather around. 133 00:06:39,703 --> 00:06:47,189 So today is obviously a joyous day, and we have so much to do. 134 00:06:47,319 --> 00:06:51,628 But it is Tuesday, so you know what that means. 135 00:06:51,759 --> 00:06:52,542 It's-- 136 00:06:52,673 --> 00:06:54,022 Ice cream Tuesday! 137 00:06:54,152 --> 00:06:55,153 [laughter] 138 00:06:56,938 --> 00:06:58,592 I thought that it couldn't possibly be Ice Cream Tuesday, 139 00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:00,289 but it is Ice Cream Tuesday. 140 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:01,421 [chatter] 141 00:07:02,944 --> 00:07:04,075 All right. 142 00:07:04,206 --> 00:07:06,164 [spinning] 143 00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:11,082 [cheering] 144 00:07:12,519 --> 00:07:13,345 Oh, fuck. 145 00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:14,782 [chatter] 146 00:07:19,961 --> 00:07:22,529 All right, well, Elizabeth and I are going to get ready to go 147 00:07:22,659 --> 00:07:26,533 to town and when we get back, I'm trusting all of you to have 148 00:07:26,663 --> 00:07:29,274 everything ready for our special night, mm-kay? 149 00:07:29,405 --> 00:07:30,406 Mm-kay. 150 00:07:33,235 --> 00:07:36,194 [upbeat music] 151 00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:42,636 [laughs] 152 00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:16,931 Guys. 153 00:08:17,061 --> 00:08:18,062 Guys. 154 00:08:21,805 --> 00:08:25,113 What a meal. 155 00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:28,856 Gabriel and Jefferson, that's got to be in your top 10 stews. 156 00:08:28,986 --> 00:08:32,424 And a little birdie told me there might be a cake. 157 00:08:32,555 --> 00:08:34,035 [laughs] 158 00:08:34,165 --> 00:08:36,820 Yeah, but I mean, the stew was so rich and good. 159 00:08:36,951 --> 00:08:38,866 I mean, cake on top of that? 160 00:08:38,996 --> 00:08:40,389 A little over the top, right? 161 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,217 No, I don't think so. 162 00:08:42,347 --> 00:08:43,653 Time for cake. - Yeah. 163 00:08:43,784 --> 00:08:45,437 No, I know, but I'm just saying, like, we 164 00:08:45,568 --> 00:08:49,137 got the whole we're transcending and we got the whole ceremony. 165 00:08:49,267 --> 00:08:51,705 Who wants to be, like, bloated for that? 166 00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:54,229 Jefferson, would you mind going and getting the cake? 167 00:08:54,359 --> 00:08:56,884 It would be my honor. 168 00:08:57,014 --> 00:08:59,103 Yeah, he should-- 169 00:08:59,234 --> 00:09:00,104 he should get the cake. 170 00:09:00,235 --> 00:09:01,671 That's right. 171 00:09:01,802 --> 00:09:03,151 The only thing better than a stew and a Cola 172 00:09:03,281 --> 00:09:04,935 is a stew and a Cola and some cake. 173 00:09:05,066 --> 00:09:05,980 [laughter] 174 00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:07,416 That's so true. 175 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,549 He just-- yeah, that's good. 176 00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:25,086 Huh. 177 00:09:25,216 --> 00:09:27,523 Well, personally, I would have made the cake a little bigger 178 00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:30,787 myself, but it is a beautiful message, guys. 179 00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:31,832 Whee. 180 00:09:31,962 --> 00:09:32,876 Right? 181 00:09:33,007 --> 00:09:35,270 We're on a roller coaster. 182 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,664 This life of ours, huh? 183 00:09:37,794 --> 00:09:39,579 Chip, did you eat the cake? 184 00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:41,711 For the last time, no. 185 00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:42,843 Outside. 186 00:09:42,973 --> 00:09:43,931 Now. 187 00:09:48,152 --> 00:09:49,763 I wasn't even that much of fuck. 188 00:09:49,893 --> 00:09:50,807 I did a little bit. 189 00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:59,163 Clearly, punishments don't work. 190 00:09:59,294 --> 00:10:03,907 So instead of punishing you, I'm going to empower you. 191 00:10:04,038 --> 00:10:07,084 I had a task I had planned to entrust to Jefferson, 192 00:10:07,215 --> 00:10:09,957 but obviously, now he has to bake a new cake. 193 00:10:10,087 --> 00:10:11,045 Yeah. 194 00:10:11,175 --> 00:10:12,350 Whatever it is, I'll do it. 195 00:10:12,481 --> 00:10:14,091 I just need you to mail an envelope. 196 00:10:14,222 --> 00:10:16,616 Are we sending a bomb to City Hall? 197 00:10:16,746 --> 00:10:19,923 No, it's our tape that we're sending to News Line 198 00:10:20,054 --> 00:10:22,534 to Georgeanne Jennings, to show the world what we've done here. 199 00:10:22,665 --> 00:10:24,667 Yes, that's a beautiful plan, and I will execute it 200 00:10:24,798 --> 00:10:25,929 to perfection for you. 201 00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:27,409 It's already stamped and addressed. 202 00:10:27,539 --> 00:10:29,324 All you have to do is put it in the mailbox 203 00:10:29,454 --> 00:10:31,282 outside the Snack-And-Go. 204 00:10:31,413 --> 00:10:33,720 Can I get a Mr. Slush? 205 00:10:33,850 --> 00:10:35,286 Once the envelope is in the mailbox, 206 00:10:35,417 --> 00:10:36,679 you may get a Mr. slush. 207 00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:38,159 Yes. Thank you, William. 208 00:10:38,289 --> 00:10:39,421 Thank you so much. 209 00:10:39,551 --> 00:10:40,770 I will not squander this opportunity. 210 00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:48,343 I love crackers. 211 00:10:48,473 --> 00:10:50,127 It would have been nice. 212 00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:52,608 [music playing] 213 00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:02,705 Would you guys like to join me in the basement? 214 00:11:02,836 --> 00:11:04,272 I'd love to run something by you. 215 00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:12,759 Fuck. 216 00:11:12,889 --> 00:11:14,674 Look Goddamit. 217 00:11:28,035 --> 00:11:30,951 Guys, bad news. 218 00:11:31,081 --> 00:11:32,996 Somebody tried to jump me. 219 00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:34,781 I fought him off, obviously, but he 220 00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:36,913 did pour his slush all over the envelope. 221 00:11:37,044 --> 00:11:40,264 We are going to need a new one. 222 00:11:40,395 --> 00:11:43,224 Hello? 223 00:11:43,354 --> 00:11:44,747 Where is everybody? 224 00:12:46,243 --> 00:12:47,244 Chip! 225 00:12:47,375 --> 00:12:49,725 Oh my gosh, Chip. 226 00:12:49,856 --> 00:12:51,248 My Chippy is home. 227 00:12:51,379 --> 00:12:52,293 My brother. 228 00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:53,903 Oh, my big baby. 229 00:12:54,034 --> 00:12:55,122 Oh. 230 00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:56,079 Hey. 231 00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:57,124 How are you? 232 00:12:57,254 --> 00:12:58,255 My son's home. 233 00:12:58,386 --> 00:12:59,779 Look at you. 234 00:12:59,909 --> 00:13:01,955 What the hell happened to you? 235 00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:04,435 [music playing] 236 00:13:16,273 --> 00:13:18,536 Stop jerking off, it's time to go to work. 237 00:13:18,667 --> 00:13:20,887 You want me all backed up in the workplace, dumb ass? 238 00:13:21,017 --> 00:13:22,410 You need to learn to cum faster. 239 00:13:28,155 --> 00:13:30,592 All due respect, Ma, how about a fucking pancake every once 240 00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:32,289 in a while? 241 00:13:32,420 --> 00:13:34,291 Pancakes didn't get your father, brother, 242 00:13:34,422 --> 00:13:37,077 and me losing over 300 pounds combined. 243 00:13:37,207 --> 00:13:38,774 Doesn't that motivate you, make you 244 00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:41,429 want to make that number 600, maybe 700? 245 00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:42,560 700? 246 00:13:42,691 --> 00:13:45,172 How fucking fat do you think I am? 247 00:13:45,302 --> 00:13:47,827 How am I supposed to perform at work if I'm operating 248 00:13:47,957 --> 00:13:49,567 in a caloric deficit all day? 249 00:13:49,698 --> 00:13:51,656 Ha, you mean clock in and play Minesweep for eight hours? 250 00:13:51,787 --> 00:13:53,441 Is that what you're talking about, work? 251 00:13:53,571 --> 00:13:54,790 Take a look around you, Chip. 252 00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:55,922 Look at this beautiful home. 253 00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:57,575 Look at the clothes on your back. 254 00:13:57,706 --> 00:14:00,274 The certified pre-owned Ford Taurus in the driveway. 255 00:14:00,404 --> 00:14:02,711 You think your father could have given us all that if he'd 256 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,018 been playing computer all day? 257 00:14:05,148 --> 00:14:06,280 The answer is no. 258 00:14:06,410 --> 00:14:08,369 It took determination and the ability 259 00:14:08,499 --> 00:14:11,198 to sell the shit out of some gravel. 260 00:14:11,328 --> 00:14:12,764 Your brother gets it. 261 00:14:12,895 --> 00:14:14,766 It's more than just piles of rocks. 262 00:14:14,897 --> 00:14:17,117 Chip, I'm sick of the excuses, kid. 263 00:14:17,247 --> 00:14:19,467 You either make a sale today or you start 264 00:14:19,597 --> 00:14:20,772 looking elsewhere for work. 265 00:14:20,903 --> 00:14:21,904 Elsewhere for work? How? 266 00:14:22,035 --> 00:14:23,253 I have no other skills. 267 00:14:23,384 --> 00:14:24,733 Maybe you shouldn't have spent five years 268 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,169 being a sumo wrestler in China. 269 00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:27,910 For the last time, Mom, I was training 270 00:14:28,041 --> 00:14:29,520 to be a karate champion in Tokyo, 271 00:14:29,651 --> 00:14:31,348 but the day before the big championship, 272 00:14:31,479 --> 00:14:34,221 my sensei betrayed me and stole my beautiful girlfriend, Akiko. 273 00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:36,527 I was too heartbroken to fight, and that's why I lost. 274 00:14:36,658 --> 00:14:38,573 Doesn't anybody fucking listen to me in this house? 275 00:14:38,703 --> 00:14:39,791 Enough! 276 00:14:39,922 --> 00:14:44,840 Make a sale today or you're fired. 277 00:14:44,971 --> 00:14:46,407 [music playing] 278 00:14:46,537 --> 00:14:50,063 Hi, this is Chip Harper from Harper & Son Gravel. 279 00:14:50,193 --> 00:14:52,239 Now, it's your lucky day because we 280 00:14:52,369 --> 00:14:57,548 have some incredible new deals on some fresh, hot rocks. 281 00:14:57,679 --> 00:14:58,898 [phone hanging up] 282 00:14:59,028 --> 00:15:00,203 Well, I don't know. 283 00:15:00,334 --> 00:15:02,118 Would you consider sharing information 284 00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:03,250 with a friend a threat? 285 00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:04,904 [dial tone] 286 00:15:05,034 --> 00:15:06,775 So you're saying you've never had us out there 287 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,168 for gravel maintenance? 288 00:15:08,298 --> 00:15:10,083 Your driveway must look like fucking shit. 289 00:15:10,213 --> 00:15:11,998 You know, people are talking. 290 00:15:12,128 --> 00:15:14,696 They're saying, if that's what the outside looks like, 291 00:15:14,826 --> 00:15:16,437 imagine how fucked up it is inside. 292 00:15:16,567 --> 00:15:19,919 Yeah, your driveway is so fucked up, an officer of the law 293 00:15:20,049 --> 00:15:22,573 believes you got junkies in there shooting up, sucking, 294 00:15:22,704 --> 00:15:24,271 and fucking all over your carpets. 295 00:15:24,401 --> 00:15:26,795 I need you to go into your mommy's purse, 296 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:30,103 take out her credit card, and then just really slowly 297 00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:33,280 read me every number. 298 00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:35,108 It's 5 o'clock, idiot. 299 00:15:35,238 --> 00:15:36,631 You're fired. 300 00:15:36,761 --> 00:15:37,588 You're fired. [laughs] 301 00:15:37,719 --> 00:15:38,633 What the fuck? 302 00:15:38,763 --> 00:15:39,939 I was going to close that. 303 00:15:40,069 --> 00:15:40,983 Saboteur. 304 00:15:41,114 --> 00:15:41,984 Serpent. 305 00:15:42,115 --> 00:15:43,594 Fired! 306 00:15:43,725 --> 00:15:46,380 I'm going to fucking kill you, Cody. 307 00:15:46,510 --> 00:15:48,469 The disgraced zoologist was eventually 308 00:15:48,599 --> 00:15:51,602 cleared of any inappropriate conduct with the chimpanzee. 309 00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:54,301 For News Line, I'm Georgeanne Jennings. 310 00:15:54,431 --> 00:15:57,217 What the fuck even is this little round rice? 311 00:15:57,347 --> 00:16:00,742 It's called "quin-yo-oa," and it is an ancient grain from 312 00:16:00,872 --> 00:16:02,178 the jungles of Peru. 313 00:16:02,309 --> 00:16:03,527 The people who grew it have never even seen 314 00:16:03,658 --> 00:16:05,181 civilization before. 315 00:16:05,312 --> 00:16:08,097 Our top story tonight, a Grizzly discovery 316 00:16:08,228 --> 00:16:10,970 in an upstate cabin, as the decomposed remains of five 317 00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,536 individuals have been found. 318 00:16:12,667 --> 00:16:15,844 The result of an apparent mass suicide. 319 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:18,803 A group of local teens made the gruesome discovery 320 00:16:18,934 --> 00:16:21,371 after breaking into the abandoned cabin, 321 00:16:21,502 --> 00:16:25,636 possibly to explore one another's bodies. 322 00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:28,204 Authorities speculate that this was a doomsday cult 323 00:16:28,335 --> 00:16:31,686 and have released this photo found at the scene. 324 00:16:31,816 --> 00:16:34,994 Police asked for any information regarding the red-haired man 325 00:16:35,124 --> 00:16:36,691 in the center. 326 00:16:36,821 --> 00:16:40,042 Police are also searching for a potential seventh member 327 00:16:40,173 --> 00:16:44,046 of the cult as a mysterious obese hand can be seen 328 00:16:44,177 --> 00:16:47,484 at the very edge of the photo. 329 00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:49,008 These bozos. 330 00:16:49,138 --> 00:16:50,748 What a bunch of dopes. 331 00:16:50,879 --> 00:16:52,228 That's probably for the best. 332 00:16:52,359 --> 00:16:54,752 If I dressed like that, I'd kill myself, too. 333 00:16:54,883 --> 00:16:56,406 [laughter] 334 00:16:56,537 --> 00:16:58,234 Yeah, that guy in the middle needs to cut that hair. 335 00:16:58,365 --> 00:17:00,149 Pumpkin-headed bitch. 336 00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:01,846 I bet they're all banging each other. 337 00:17:01,977 --> 00:17:03,848 [laughter] - I'm sure nobody else wants to. 338 00:17:03,979 --> 00:17:05,154 [laughter] 339 00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:06,503 You know what? 340 00:17:06,634 --> 00:17:09,680 Five less freaks walking around, if you ask me. 341 00:17:09,811 --> 00:17:12,292 What do you think, Chip? 342 00:17:12,422 --> 00:17:13,380 Chip? 343 00:17:16,296 --> 00:17:18,646 Chip? 344 00:17:18,776 --> 00:17:20,430 [screams] 345 00:17:20,561 --> 00:17:22,998 William, you fucking piece of shit. 346 00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:24,521 I'm coming to get you, motherfucker. 347 00:17:24,652 --> 00:17:26,480 [horn honking] 348 00:17:31,224 --> 00:17:32,486 You seen this guy? 349 00:17:32,616 --> 00:17:33,530 Nothing. 350 00:17:33,661 --> 00:17:35,054 Seen this person? 351 00:17:35,184 --> 00:17:36,490 Don't look at me like that. 352 00:17:36,620 --> 00:17:37,491 Shit. 353 00:17:37,621 --> 00:17:38,970 Oh, God. 354 00:17:39,101 --> 00:17:40,494 I'm so sorry. 355 00:17:40,624 --> 00:17:42,061 I thought you were this guy that ruined my life. 356 00:17:42,191 --> 00:17:43,540 Well, obviously I'm not. Jesus. 357 00:17:43,671 --> 00:17:44,846 OK, relax. 358 00:17:44,976 --> 00:17:46,065 You're really milking this, lady. 359 00:17:46,195 --> 00:17:48,197 Hey, where'd you get that? 360 00:17:48,328 --> 00:17:50,330 It's none of your business, you shit ass. 361 00:17:50,460 --> 00:17:51,418 God. 362 00:17:59,208 --> 00:18:00,514 Hey. Hi, there. 363 00:18:00,644 --> 00:18:01,906 Yeah, hi. 364 00:18:02,037 --> 00:18:03,386 Listen, you ever see this piece of shit? 365 00:18:03,517 --> 00:18:05,040 Yeah, I wish. 366 00:18:05,171 --> 00:18:07,303 I'd love to see a cartoon in real life. 367 00:18:07,434 --> 00:18:10,306 No, it's a real guy. 368 00:18:10,437 --> 00:18:13,092 You know, he looks like one of our old regulars. 369 00:18:13,222 --> 00:18:15,529 Yeah, bad guy. 370 00:18:15,659 --> 00:18:17,357 I don't think I can prove it, but I 371 00:18:17,487 --> 00:18:21,187 think he stole our birthday prize wheel. 372 00:18:21,317 --> 00:18:23,363 Yeah, I haven't seen them in months, though. 373 00:18:23,493 --> 00:18:24,277 Shit. 374 00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:25,713 You know what? 375 00:18:25,843 --> 00:18:27,323 I wouldn't be surprised if he was mixed up 376 00:18:27,454 --> 00:18:29,456 in that cult stuff in the news. 377 00:18:29,586 --> 00:18:30,413 Why do you ask? 378 00:18:30,544 --> 00:18:32,372 Are you a policeman? 379 00:18:32,502 --> 00:18:36,376 Yeah, I'm undercover, FBI. 380 00:18:36,506 --> 00:18:39,074 Listen, you happen to remember this freak's favorite flavor? 381 00:18:39,205 --> 00:18:40,075 Oh, sure. 382 00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:42,817 Yeah strawberry? 383 00:18:42,947 --> 00:18:44,688 I prefer vanilla myself, you know. 384 00:18:44,819 --> 00:18:46,647 Pal, listen, with all due respect, 385 00:18:46,777 --> 00:18:47,865 I don't need your life story. 386 00:18:47,996 --> 00:18:49,954 I'm on an investigation, OK? 387 00:18:50,085 --> 00:18:51,652 So what I need you to do right now, 388 00:18:51,782 --> 00:18:54,045 give me two scoops of strawberry in the cone 389 00:18:54,176 --> 00:18:56,439 with sprinkles on the house. 390 00:18:56,570 --> 00:18:59,703 I got to get in the mind of this freak. 391 00:18:59,834 --> 00:19:01,357 Can you help me scoop the ice cream? 392 00:19:01,488 --> 00:19:03,838 [radio playing] 393 00:19:27,340 --> 00:19:28,297 What? 394 00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:33,824 Get the fuck out of here. 395 00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:47,186 [CLOWN VOICE] Oh, balloons for birthday parties. 396 00:19:55,498 --> 00:19:56,369 [grunts] 397 00:19:56,499 --> 00:19:58,153 [girl screams] 398 00:19:58,284 --> 00:19:59,198 [whimpering] 399 00:19:59,328 --> 00:20:00,155 You fucking bastard. 400 00:20:00,286 --> 00:20:01,417 You fucking piece of shit. 401 00:20:01,548 --> 00:20:03,027 I'll kill you. I'll fucking kill you. 402 00:20:03,158 --> 00:20:04,072 Eat your fucking nose. 403 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,378 [coughs] 404 00:20:05,508 --> 00:20:06,857 How could you cut me out? 405 00:20:06,988 --> 00:20:08,207 I don't know what you're talking about. 406 00:20:08,337 --> 00:20:09,556 I'm Silly Billy. - Oh, you're Silly Billy, huh? 407 00:20:09,686 --> 00:20:11,427 Well, I was looking for my old pal William, 408 00:20:11,558 --> 00:20:13,168 but I guess I'm going to have to kill a fucking clown. 409 00:20:13,299 --> 00:20:14,561 It's me, William. It's William. 410 00:20:14,691 --> 00:20:15,997 - Is it? - Yes, it is. 411 00:20:16,127 --> 00:20:17,041 [crying] 412 00:20:17,172 --> 00:20:18,521 Why aren't you dead? 413 00:20:18,652 --> 00:20:20,219 Why aren't I dead, either? - I can talk. 414 00:20:20,349 --> 00:20:21,872 I just need you to get off me. 415 00:20:22,003 --> 00:20:24,005 I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what happened. 416 00:20:24,135 --> 00:20:26,007 You were dead lying with the rest of them. 417 00:20:26,137 --> 00:20:27,704 The universe had another plan for me. 418 00:20:32,187 --> 00:20:33,057 Fuck this. 419 00:20:33,188 --> 00:20:34,581 I'm going to the cops. 420 00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:36,713 [grunts] 421 00:20:41,675 --> 00:20:47,594 I did die, Chip, but I was sent back to get you. 422 00:20:47,724 --> 00:20:49,030 To get me? 423 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:50,031 Why the fuck didn't you just take me with you 424 00:20:50,161 --> 00:20:51,250 in the first place? 425 00:20:51,380 --> 00:20:53,774 Believe me, I wanted to, but the others 426 00:20:53,904 --> 00:20:55,558 insisted we transcend without you. 427 00:20:55,689 --> 00:20:56,559 I was overruled. 428 00:20:56,690 --> 00:20:57,952 Bullshit. 429 00:20:58,082 --> 00:21:00,041 And I think, because they had so much hatred 430 00:21:00,171 --> 00:21:02,086 in their hearts for you, that they didn't 431 00:21:02,217 --> 00:21:04,088 return to Jalanzana at all. 432 00:21:04,219 --> 00:21:05,699 They went to Golgomorth. 433 00:21:05,829 --> 00:21:08,702 And because I had nothing but love in my heart for you, 434 00:21:08,832 --> 00:21:09,703 I was spared. 435 00:21:09,833 --> 00:21:11,618 No, fuck that. 436 00:21:11,748 --> 00:21:13,141 You're fucking lying. 437 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:16,187 Didn't you see me there, dead, with your own eyes? 438 00:21:21,541 --> 00:21:22,455 Yeah. 439 00:21:27,938 --> 00:21:30,071 Why else would I be back from the dead? 440 00:21:30,201 --> 00:21:31,725 I'm not a magician. 441 00:21:31,855 --> 00:21:33,204 I don't know. 442 00:21:33,335 --> 00:21:34,336 Maybe you had some, like, unfinished business 443 00:21:34,467 --> 00:21:36,164 or something. - Right. 444 00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:39,559 Maybe you had to fix the biggest fuck up of your whole life. 445 00:21:39,689 --> 00:21:40,777 Exactly. 446 00:21:40,908 --> 00:21:43,432 You couldn't transcend without me. 447 00:21:43,563 --> 00:21:44,825 We need each other. 448 00:21:44,955 --> 00:21:45,913 That's right. 449 00:21:46,043 --> 00:21:47,218 We need each other. 450 00:21:47,349 --> 00:21:49,960 We have to start a new family. 451 00:21:50,091 --> 00:21:51,658 What's that? 452 00:21:51,788 --> 00:21:53,486 You said it yourself, the last one was full of snakes. 453 00:21:53,616 --> 00:21:55,052 They betrayed both of us. 454 00:21:55,183 --> 00:21:56,532 You weren't meant to die with them 455 00:21:56,663 --> 00:21:58,447 and I wasn't meant to sell fucking gravel. 456 00:21:58,578 --> 00:22:00,275 They sent you back for me. 457 00:22:00,406 --> 00:22:01,885 We get another crack at this, dude. 458 00:22:02,016 --> 00:22:03,539 We're going to do it right this time. 459 00:22:03,670 --> 00:22:06,586 With your knowledge and my power, we're unstoppable, right? 460 00:22:06,716 --> 00:22:08,544 That's what you're saying, right? 461 00:22:08,675 --> 00:22:09,980 More or less. 462 00:22:10,111 --> 00:22:11,547 And we're actually going to transcend this time 463 00:22:11,678 --> 00:22:15,725 because we'll both be leaders, co-leaders. 464 00:22:15,856 --> 00:22:18,424 Well-- 465 00:22:18,554 --> 00:22:19,947 Or you could go to fucking jail. 466 00:22:29,739 --> 00:22:31,132 [laughs] 467 00:22:31,262 --> 00:22:33,569 Why are you a clown, dude? 468 00:22:33,700 --> 00:22:38,226 Well, think about it. 469 00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:40,184 I've been living in the woods for a while. 470 00:22:40,315 --> 00:22:43,100 Eventually, I ran out of food. 471 00:22:43,231 --> 00:22:44,711 I have to go out, so I figured nobody 472 00:22:44,841 --> 00:22:46,495 can tell who I am in this. 473 00:22:46,626 --> 00:22:48,671 So I go out. 474 00:22:48,802 --> 00:22:49,977 I get work. 475 00:22:50,107 --> 00:22:50,978 I get money. 476 00:22:51,108 --> 00:22:51,935 I get food. 477 00:22:52,066 --> 00:22:53,502 I go back to the woods. 478 00:22:53,633 --> 00:22:56,679 Kind of an ideal situation, given the circumstances. 479 00:22:56,810 --> 00:23:00,204 But now the heat's probably off a little bit, 480 00:23:00,335 --> 00:23:02,424 I'm kind of looking forward to starting over. 481 00:23:02,555 --> 00:23:03,469 Dating? 482 00:23:03,599 --> 00:23:04,687 Who knows? 483 00:23:04,818 --> 00:23:06,123 Dating? 484 00:23:06,254 --> 00:23:09,213 Dude, they found the bodies yesterday. 485 00:23:09,344 --> 00:23:10,954 No, they didn't. 486 00:23:11,085 --> 00:23:12,869 They found the bodies months ago because once News Line got 487 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,002 the tape, the police would have went to the house. 488 00:23:20,834 --> 00:23:22,488 See, the thing about the tape, actually, 489 00:23:22,618 --> 00:23:25,795 is due to circumstances that were not under my control, 490 00:23:25,926 --> 00:23:27,884 I wasn't able to mail the tape. 491 00:23:28,015 --> 00:23:28,885 You didn't mail the tape? 492 00:23:29,016 --> 00:23:31,192 So where is it? 493 00:23:31,322 --> 00:23:33,673 Well, think about me. 494 00:23:33,803 --> 00:23:35,588 You sent me out on this important mission 495 00:23:35,718 --> 00:23:36,806 and it gets fucked up. 496 00:23:36,937 --> 00:23:38,765 Not my fault. So I'm running back 497 00:23:38,895 --> 00:23:40,984 to make sure everything goes according to your plan. 498 00:23:41,115 --> 00:23:42,508 And how am I rewarded? 499 00:23:42,638 --> 00:23:43,944 So I'm pissed off. 500 00:23:44,074 --> 00:23:45,641 And I build a fire and I take off all my stuff 501 00:23:45,772 --> 00:23:47,469 from the family. I take off my uniform. 502 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,558 I throw that in there, my sandals. 503 00:23:49,689 --> 00:23:51,473 So you burned the tape? 504 00:23:51,604 --> 00:23:53,997 Yeah. 505 00:23:54,128 --> 00:23:55,042 Yeah, I burned it. 506 00:23:55,172 --> 00:23:56,435 I burned it. 507 00:23:56,565 --> 00:23:57,697 I burned the tape. 508 00:23:57,827 --> 00:23:59,742 You saved my life, you know that? 509 00:23:59,873 --> 00:24:00,743 Really? 510 00:24:00,874 --> 00:24:02,310 Yeah. 511 00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:03,877 If they had that tape, I'd be in prison right now. 512 00:24:04,007 --> 00:24:05,226 Holy shit. 513 00:24:05,356 --> 00:24:07,097 This is really meant to be, isn't it? 514 00:24:07,228 --> 00:24:08,359 It is. 515 00:24:08,490 --> 00:24:11,580 Hey, I got something I got to do, 516 00:24:11,711 --> 00:24:14,801 so I'll be right back in just a few hours, OK? 517 00:24:14,931 --> 00:24:16,237 No way, dude. 518 00:24:16,367 --> 00:24:17,934 From now on we're going everywhere together. 519 00:24:18,065 --> 00:24:20,023 We're going to be, like, that type of twin that's 520 00:24:20,154 --> 00:24:23,462 like, two guys mashed into each other, sharing armpits and shit. 521 00:24:23,592 --> 00:24:24,767 That's going to be us. 522 00:24:24,898 --> 00:24:25,681 [doorbell ring] 523 00:24:25,812 --> 00:24:26,900 [children playing] 524 00:24:27,030 --> 00:24:28,292 I hear it's somebody's birthday. 525 00:24:28,423 --> 00:24:30,294 [silly laughter] 526 00:24:31,513 --> 00:24:34,211 Well, kids, my name is Silly Billy, 527 00:24:34,342 --> 00:24:36,736 and this is my partner, Pancakes. 528 00:24:36,866 --> 00:24:40,827 But pancakes is not allowed to speak because pancakes 529 00:24:40,957 --> 00:24:41,915 is in training. 530 00:24:42,045 --> 00:24:43,220 [silly laughter] 531 00:24:43,351 --> 00:24:46,746 So how did you find these guys? 532 00:24:46,876 --> 00:24:49,879 Well, we had a Power Ranger bot, 533 00:24:50,010 --> 00:24:53,100 but apparently, his house exploded. 534 00:24:53,230 --> 00:24:54,841 And the skinny one there, he's always 535 00:24:54,971 --> 00:24:57,278 giving me balloons in the park so I felt bad for him. 536 00:24:57,408 --> 00:24:58,279 [pop] 537 00:24:58,409 --> 00:25:00,194 Hey, cakes fell off the horse. 538 00:25:00,324 --> 00:25:01,674 I have to give him CPR. 539 00:25:01,804 --> 00:25:03,676 [silly laughter] 540 00:25:03,806 --> 00:25:04,981 - I got to piss. - All right. 541 00:25:05,112 --> 00:25:06,505 [silly laugh] 542 00:25:07,506 --> 00:25:08,768 It's going to happen. 543 00:25:08,898 --> 00:25:09,856 [fart] 544 00:25:12,902 --> 00:25:14,513 [silly laughter] 545 00:25:14,643 --> 00:25:16,297 Actually, Pancakes needs to go inside right now and do 546 00:25:16,427 --> 00:25:17,820 something else. 547 00:25:17,951 --> 00:25:22,129 So he'll do that and we'll see what we got in here. 548 00:25:22,259 --> 00:25:24,174 [toilet flushing] 549 00:25:32,618 --> 00:25:34,097 I need to get in shape. 550 00:25:34,228 --> 00:25:35,055 I guess I'll jump rope. 551 00:25:35,185 --> 00:25:36,099 [snap] 552 00:25:36,230 --> 00:25:37,666 Oh, sorry about that. 553 00:25:37,797 --> 00:25:40,147 [rock music playing] 554 00:25:44,194 --> 00:25:46,240 What exactly are you up to down here, young man? 555 00:25:48,851 --> 00:25:50,200 Let's blow one up, huh? 556 00:25:52,942 --> 00:25:54,683 Oh. 557 00:25:54,814 --> 00:25:58,382 Dude, I know, homework fucking sucks, dude. 558 00:25:58,513 --> 00:26:00,254 [silly laughter] 559 00:26:02,735 --> 00:26:04,258 I wonder where pancakes is. 560 00:26:04,388 --> 00:26:05,302 Where's pancakes? 561 00:26:05,433 --> 00:26:06,565 [knocking] 562 00:26:06,695 --> 00:26:08,871 Better hurry up and get back up here 563 00:26:09,002 --> 00:26:11,439 and come back upstairs right now. 564 00:26:14,877 --> 00:26:16,226 Look at the hot dog. 565 00:26:16,357 --> 00:26:18,098 Now, you see, a lot of people think that, 566 00:26:18,228 --> 00:26:21,405 but the fighting is actually the easy part of "ka-ra-tay." 567 00:26:21,536 --> 00:26:24,234 What's hard is the iron lung discipline. 568 00:26:24,365 --> 00:26:26,410 See, not a lot of people got the kind of discipline 569 00:26:26,541 --> 00:26:30,371 I did, but I think you got it in you, kid. 570 00:26:30,501 --> 00:26:32,721 Thanks, Pancakes. 571 00:26:32,852 --> 00:26:33,809 Mister! 572 00:26:33,940 --> 00:26:35,158 Take it easy, lady, I'm high. 573 00:26:35,289 --> 00:26:37,073 You're moving so slow. [grunts] 574 00:26:37,204 --> 00:26:38,597 What's happening? 575 00:26:38,727 --> 00:26:40,163 This woman thinks I'm trying to fuck her son. 576 00:26:40,294 --> 00:26:41,251 I never said that. 577 00:26:41,382 --> 00:26:42,862 Good, 'cause I wasn't. 578 00:26:42,992 --> 00:26:44,820 OK, you perverts need to get the hell out. 579 00:26:44,951 --> 00:26:45,778 Now! 580 00:26:45,908 --> 00:26:47,475 We are so sorry, ma'am. 581 00:26:47,606 --> 00:26:48,694 We will just take our payment and be out of your hair. 582 00:26:48,824 --> 00:26:49,869 Payment? 583 00:26:49,999 --> 00:26:51,435 This lunatic gave drugs to my son. 584 00:26:51,566 --> 00:26:53,263 Hey, he smoked me out. 585 00:26:53,394 --> 00:26:55,744 [upbeat music] 586 00:27:03,099 --> 00:27:04,100 Are you mad at me? 587 00:27:04,231 --> 00:27:07,495 Yeah, I am. 588 00:27:07,626 --> 00:27:09,671 I guess we really needed that 80 bucks, huh? 589 00:27:09,802 --> 00:27:10,672 Yeah, we did. 590 00:27:10,803 --> 00:27:13,719 That was kind of the whole point. 591 00:27:13,849 --> 00:27:16,460 I guess we should probably just give up? 592 00:27:16,591 --> 00:27:19,202 Yeah, I think that's the play. 593 00:27:19,333 --> 00:27:20,987 Yeah, maybe it is. 594 00:27:21,117 --> 00:27:24,773 Or maybe it fucking isn't, you fucking dummy. 595 00:27:24,904 --> 00:27:26,209 Look at this shit, huh? 596 00:27:26,340 --> 00:27:28,734 There's 200 bones in here. 597 00:27:28,864 --> 00:27:30,474 Serves that lady right, leaving her purse 598 00:27:30,605 --> 00:27:32,476 unattended in her own home. 599 00:27:32,607 --> 00:27:33,913 Hey, and that's not it. 600 00:27:34,043 --> 00:27:34,914 Huh? 601 00:27:35,044 --> 00:27:36,480 That's real gold. 602 00:27:36,611 --> 00:27:39,005 We came up with, like, 600 bucks just now, William. 603 00:27:39,135 --> 00:27:40,354 Cheer up, you little fucker. 604 00:27:40,484 --> 00:27:42,095 [laughs] 605 00:27:42,225 --> 00:27:43,574 Hey, if you're going to do stuff 606 00:27:43,705 --> 00:27:46,403 like that, though, you got to run it by me, OK? 607 00:27:46,534 --> 00:27:47,317 OK. 608 00:27:47,448 --> 00:27:49,058 We're co-leaders now. 609 00:27:49,189 --> 00:27:51,626 You deserve-- you know, I should never go rogue ever again. 610 00:27:51,757 --> 00:27:54,673 Co-leaders always align, and from now on I 611 00:27:54,803 --> 00:27:57,023 will run everything by you. 612 00:27:57,153 --> 00:27:58,198 Starting now. 613 00:27:58,328 --> 00:28:00,026 What do we do next, co-leader? 614 00:28:00,156 --> 00:28:04,595 OK, I have a place we can go, but we cannot show up like this. 615 00:28:04,726 --> 00:28:06,989 I could use a shower, too. 616 00:28:07,120 --> 00:28:09,035 Yeah, dude, you're right about that. 617 00:28:09,165 --> 00:28:10,689 I didn't to say anything, but you 618 00:28:10,819 --> 00:28:14,257 smell like an armpit took a shit in a lady's pussy. 619 00:28:14,388 --> 00:28:15,389 You smelly stinky. 620 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,655 I cannot wait to get some followers. 621 00:28:20,786 --> 00:28:23,571 I think we need like 10 or 15 to start. 622 00:28:23,702 --> 00:28:26,530 We can start with one and we'll see how that goes. 623 00:28:35,670 --> 00:28:37,933 Whoa, that guy looks strong. 624 00:28:38,064 --> 00:28:41,067 Yeah, but he's not what we're looking for. 625 00:28:41,197 --> 00:28:42,111 OK? 626 00:28:44,897 --> 00:28:47,377 Oh, that guy looks strong and cool. 627 00:28:47,508 --> 00:28:48,727 Not our guy. 628 00:28:51,817 --> 00:28:53,949 Who exactly are we looking for here, man? 629 00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:55,864 Someone with a certain energy. 630 00:29:00,173 --> 00:29:01,130 That's our guy. 631 00:29:06,788 --> 00:29:09,269 13. 632 00:29:09,399 --> 00:29:11,227 Wow, look at you go. 633 00:29:11,358 --> 00:29:12,315 Excuse me. 634 00:29:12,446 --> 00:29:13,229 Sorry. 635 00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:14,796 Sorry about that. 636 00:29:14,927 --> 00:29:17,364 Oh, gosh, the Army sure is lucky to have you. 637 00:29:17,494 --> 00:29:20,367 Yeah, well, they actually decided 638 00:29:20,497 --> 00:29:22,456 to go in a different direction today. 639 00:29:22,586 --> 00:29:23,544 Oh, no. 640 00:29:23,674 --> 00:29:25,154 Why is that? 641 00:29:25,285 --> 00:29:26,939 They said I have something called celery bones, which 642 00:29:27,069 --> 00:29:31,334 is like where the bone is a horseshoe style dead around. 643 00:29:31,465 --> 00:29:32,901 So I can't do it. 644 00:29:33,032 --> 00:29:34,598 Somebody as strong as you? 645 00:29:34,729 --> 00:29:35,948 And you even have the outfit. 646 00:29:36,078 --> 00:29:38,428 They say dress for the job you want, right? 647 00:29:38,559 --> 00:29:41,170 They don't say how to dress when you don't get it. 648 00:29:41,301 --> 00:29:42,389 About how old are you? 649 00:29:42,519 --> 00:29:43,869 Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I'm Tyler. 650 00:29:43,999 --> 00:29:45,392 I'm 25. It's nice to meet you. 651 00:29:45,522 --> 00:29:47,046 - It's nice to meet you, too. - Yeah. 652 00:29:47,176 --> 00:29:48,482 That's a great name, by the way. 653 00:29:48,612 --> 00:29:51,137 Tyler, I got to tell you, if I was the Army, 654 00:29:51,267 --> 00:29:53,008 I'd make you a five-star general. 655 00:29:53,139 --> 00:29:56,185 I appreciate that, sir, but you are not the real Army, 656 00:29:56,316 --> 00:29:57,143 and they don't want me. 657 00:29:57,273 --> 00:29:58,144 Yeah, well, I do. 658 00:29:58,274 --> 00:29:59,580 I agree with William. 659 00:29:59,710 --> 00:30:01,843 I would make you like an eight-star general. 660 00:30:01,974 --> 00:30:03,279 He's William, by the way. 661 00:30:03,410 --> 00:30:05,107 I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. 662 00:30:05,238 --> 00:30:06,848 I'm Chip. 663 00:30:06,979 --> 00:30:09,111 Well, William and Chimp, it was nice to meet you guys. 664 00:30:09,242 --> 00:30:10,721 Chip. 665 00:30:10,852 --> 00:30:12,636 Well, it was nice to meet you guys, but I don't know. 666 00:30:12,767 --> 00:30:14,203 I just have to go figure out what I'm going 667 00:30:14,334 --> 00:30:15,335 to do with the rest of my life. 668 00:30:15,465 --> 00:30:17,772 So adios, I guess. 669 00:30:17,903 --> 00:30:19,600 Maybe we could help you with that. 670 00:30:19,730 --> 00:30:20,775 Do you like bowling? 671 00:30:20,906 --> 00:30:22,429 [music playing] 672 00:30:22,559 --> 00:30:25,171 Yes, I do. 673 00:30:25,301 --> 00:30:27,129 [pins falling] 674 00:30:31,525 --> 00:30:33,701 The balls are fucked here, dude. 675 00:30:33,832 --> 00:30:36,269 So you guys are like a family? 676 00:30:36,399 --> 00:30:37,792 We're not like a family. 677 00:30:37,923 --> 00:30:40,142 We are a family. 678 00:30:40,273 --> 00:30:42,318 Except we don't have the petty squabbles 679 00:30:42,449 --> 00:30:44,973 a family has because we've chosen one another. 680 00:30:45,104 --> 00:30:46,409 That's right. 681 00:30:46,540 --> 00:30:48,716 No asshole brothers barging on your privacy, 682 00:30:48,847 --> 00:30:50,457 dad threatening to fire you. 683 00:30:50,587 --> 00:30:52,938 No Uncle Aaron stuffing you in a sleeping bag, 684 00:30:53,068 --> 00:30:55,201 not letting your ass out, swinging you around 685 00:30:55,331 --> 00:30:57,159 like a sack of wet meat. 686 00:30:57,290 --> 00:31:01,250 And you're like, screaming, like [screams]. 687 00:31:01,381 --> 00:31:02,817 Help me. 688 00:31:02,948 --> 00:31:04,775 Let me out. 689 00:31:04,906 --> 00:31:10,172 And yet he doesn't let you out and you nearly sweat to death. 690 00:31:10,303 --> 00:31:11,217 Right. 691 00:31:11,347 --> 00:31:12,914 None of that shit, no. 692 00:31:13,045 --> 00:31:15,264 And we'll fuck your uncle up if you want. 693 00:31:15,395 --> 00:31:16,831 Oh, he was in chronic pain. 694 00:31:16,962 --> 00:31:18,224 He ended it. 695 00:31:18,354 --> 00:31:21,096 Oh, well, if he was alive, we'd fuck him up. 696 00:31:21,227 --> 00:31:23,533 Even if he was, like, old as shit or in a wheelchair 697 00:31:23,664 --> 00:31:25,274 or had one of those fucked up little hands. 698 00:31:25,405 --> 00:31:26,667 That's true. We would. 699 00:31:26,797 --> 00:31:28,060 Really? 700 00:31:28,190 --> 00:31:29,322 Appreciate that, guys. 701 00:31:29,452 --> 00:31:30,714 Gosh. 702 00:31:30,845 --> 00:31:32,760 Dude, you're going to learn so much from us. 703 00:31:32,891 --> 00:31:34,196 It might be hard for you to imagine, 704 00:31:34,327 --> 00:31:36,285 but I wasn't always this good at leadership. 705 00:31:36,416 --> 00:31:37,591 William taught me. 706 00:31:37,721 --> 00:31:40,246 And together, we're both going to teach you. 707 00:31:40,376 --> 00:31:41,203 That's right. 708 00:31:41,334 --> 00:31:42,552 Cool. 709 00:31:42,683 --> 00:31:44,076 We should hit the road, but maybe you 710 00:31:44,206 --> 00:31:45,947 want to pick up a change of clothes? 711 00:31:46,078 --> 00:31:48,950 Perhaps anything else of value you might own. 712 00:31:49,081 --> 00:31:50,212 It's a beautiful thing. 713 00:31:50,343 --> 00:31:51,822 We share it all. 714 00:31:51,953 --> 00:31:53,912 I'm kind of in, like, a transitional phase right now, 715 00:31:54,042 --> 00:31:56,915 but I might have a couple things back in my place. 716 00:32:02,181 --> 00:32:05,271 I got to say, I'm not really finding much here. 717 00:32:05,401 --> 00:32:06,576 Dude, speak for yourself. 718 00:32:06,707 --> 00:32:07,882 Look at this thing, huh? 719 00:32:08,013 --> 00:32:09,188 This will come in handy the next time 720 00:32:09,318 --> 00:32:10,711 we need to send a tape to the news, huh? 721 00:32:10,841 --> 00:32:13,018 Hey, Tyler, I had a question about this. 722 00:32:13,148 --> 00:32:14,628 Is this gold? Is this made of gold, or-- 723 00:32:14,758 --> 00:32:16,021 Oh, chill. Chill. 724 00:32:16,151 --> 00:32:17,718 That's actually not mine to give away. 725 00:32:17,848 --> 00:32:18,893 Whose is it? 726 00:32:19,024 --> 00:32:19,981 [chatter] 727 00:32:21,026 --> 00:32:22,244 No. 728 00:32:22,375 --> 00:32:23,550 No. No. 729 00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:25,247 No. No. 730 00:32:25,378 --> 00:32:27,641 You said you were joining the Army, 731 00:32:27,771 --> 00:32:29,686 or going to Vietnam or whatever. 732 00:32:29,817 --> 00:32:32,907 You can't be in here with a bunch of homeless people. 733 00:32:33,038 --> 00:32:34,691 You play with my mind too much, baby. 734 00:32:34,822 --> 00:32:36,345 She's playing, guys. She's just kidding. 735 00:32:36,476 --> 00:32:39,914 William, Chip, this is my beautiful fiancé, Meredith. 736 00:32:40,045 --> 00:32:44,092 You can't call someone your fiancé if they say no. 737 00:32:44,223 --> 00:32:45,964 Hey, guys. 738 00:32:46,094 --> 00:32:47,008 My name is Bo. 739 00:32:47,139 --> 00:32:49,141 I hope I'm not intruding. 740 00:32:49,271 --> 00:32:52,361 Meredith and I just had a lovely steak dinner. 741 00:32:52,492 --> 00:32:55,495 However, despite the food being delicious, 742 00:32:55,625 --> 00:32:59,673 it could not even hold a candle to the conversation. 743 00:33:02,458 --> 00:33:03,982 Sounds awesome, man. I'm Tyler. 744 00:33:04,112 --> 00:33:05,113 Pleasure to meet you. 745 00:33:05,244 --> 00:33:07,202 Thank you for your service, sir. 746 00:33:07,333 --> 00:33:09,074 Meredith, have a lovely night, but I 747 00:33:09,204 --> 00:33:10,292 think I'm going to go home. 748 00:33:10,423 --> 00:33:11,250 What? 749 00:33:11,380 --> 00:33:12,381 No. 750 00:33:12,512 --> 00:33:14,079 I'm not done with you yet. 751 00:33:14,209 --> 00:33:15,732 You're staying here tonight. 752 00:33:15,863 --> 00:33:17,865 Meredith, I think you should know I'm leaving town 753 00:33:17,996 --> 00:33:19,867 to try and find myself. 754 00:33:19,998 --> 00:33:22,565 And God willing, if I come back, I 755 00:33:22,696 --> 00:33:28,093 pray I may become a better man, perhaps the men of your dreams. 756 00:33:28,223 --> 00:33:29,137 Leave the keys. 757 00:33:29,268 --> 00:33:30,225 Come on. 758 00:33:34,969 --> 00:33:37,232 Jesus Christ, dude, are you all right? 759 00:33:37,363 --> 00:33:38,277 I'm fine, dude. 760 00:33:38,407 --> 00:33:39,582 What are you talking about? 761 00:33:39,713 --> 00:33:41,584 I'm chilling with my new best friends. 762 00:33:41,715 --> 00:33:42,933 I'm having a good time. 763 00:33:43,064 --> 00:33:44,370 We should get going, though. 764 00:33:44,500 --> 00:33:46,067 It's about that time. 765 00:33:46,198 --> 00:33:48,287 Listen, we're about to go on an amazing journey, right? 766 00:33:48,417 --> 00:33:50,332 We're going to go see crazy stuff. 767 00:33:50,463 --> 00:33:53,422 Let me just give us one gift before we go, 768 00:33:53,553 --> 00:33:55,642 a gift of hospitality. 769 00:33:55,772 --> 00:34:00,081 Tonight, why don't we stay Casa Tyler style-- 770 00:34:00,212 --> 00:34:03,780 sleepover right here, like we did when we were babies. 771 00:34:03,911 --> 00:34:06,000 Going crazy sounds awesome, but we do kind of need 772 00:34:06,131 --> 00:34:07,349 to get going. 773 00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:09,047 I'm not taking no for an answer, dude. 774 00:34:09,177 --> 00:34:11,440 We're staying here tonight, and we're going to have fun. 775 00:34:11,571 --> 00:34:13,486 And you're going to have some drinks at my fridge 776 00:34:13,616 --> 00:34:15,618 and we're going to play some games. 777 00:34:15,749 --> 00:34:17,707 We're going to have snacks. 778 00:34:17,838 --> 00:34:18,882 What kind of snacks? 779 00:34:19,013 --> 00:34:19,970 Dried fruit. 780 00:34:23,365 --> 00:34:25,193 Bring it on. 781 00:34:25,324 --> 00:34:26,890 You're really good at this game, dude. 782 00:34:27,021 --> 00:34:28,109 Thanks, man. 783 00:34:28,240 --> 00:34:29,371 Psych. 784 00:34:29,502 --> 00:34:31,286 I'm about to blast your little nuts. 785 00:34:31,417 --> 00:34:35,203 [faint sex noises] 786 00:34:35,334 --> 00:34:37,075 I've never played with someone else before. 787 00:34:37,205 --> 00:34:38,076 It's so much more fun. 788 00:34:41,688 --> 00:34:43,472 Oh, my God. 789 00:34:43,603 --> 00:34:44,647 Oh, yes. 790 00:34:44,778 --> 00:34:45,605 Here comes everything. 791 00:34:45,735 --> 00:34:46,736 [screams] 792 00:34:48,999 --> 00:34:50,871 Guys, just remember, if anybody asks, 793 00:34:51,001 --> 00:34:52,307 we're here for the conference. 794 00:34:52,438 --> 00:34:53,743 Nobody ever asks. 795 00:34:53,874 --> 00:34:55,441 Do you know how many free hotel breakfasts 796 00:34:55,571 --> 00:34:56,616 I've got in my fucking life? 797 00:35:02,317 --> 00:35:05,929 When you make a wish on a star, every dream in your heart 798 00:35:06,060 --> 00:35:07,931 might actually come true. 799 00:35:08,062 --> 00:35:08,976 What a joke. 800 00:35:09,107 --> 00:35:10,238 No, it's a song. 801 00:35:10,369 --> 00:35:13,023 It's from a movie about the wooden child. 802 00:35:13,154 --> 00:35:14,851 I can't remember the name right now. 803 00:35:14,982 --> 00:35:18,290 I can't remember the name of the movie, but it was a wooden boy. 804 00:35:18,420 --> 00:35:21,075 And he taught me so many things. 805 00:35:21,206 --> 00:35:23,599 He taught me that if you lie, guess what? 806 00:35:23,730 --> 00:35:25,297 Your nose will grow as long as a hot dog. 807 00:35:25,427 --> 00:35:27,255 Somebody ought to tell her that she'd better 808 00:35:27,386 --> 00:35:28,430 watch her nose. 809 00:35:28,561 --> 00:35:30,171 - Who, Judge Linda Booch? - Yeah. 810 00:35:30,302 --> 00:35:31,738 Why? What'd she do? 811 00:35:31,868 --> 00:35:33,566 I was just trying to participate in the conference, 812 00:35:33,696 --> 00:35:35,307 you know? 813 00:35:35,437 --> 00:35:37,222 Yeah and I asked her a really simple, straightforward 814 00:35:37,352 --> 00:35:40,312 question, and she refused to answer in front of everybody 815 00:35:40,442 --> 00:35:41,530 and embarrass me. 816 00:35:41,661 --> 00:35:43,619 You see those women over there? 817 00:35:43,750 --> 00:35:45,969 They're in charge of this stupid event. 818 00:35:46,100 --> 00:35:46,970 They also screamed at me. 819 00:35:47,101 --> 00:35:48,189 What? 820 00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:49,669 And they made me leave the room. 821 00:35:49,799 --> 00:35:51,540 Well, that puts them on the naughty list. 822 00:35:51,671 --> 00:35:52,976 Yeah, I got a target on my back. 823 00:35:53,107 --> 00:35:54,021 I'm Tyler, by the way. 824 00:35:54,152 --> 00:35:55,501 It's nice to meet you. - Hi. 825 00:35:55,631 --> 00:35:57,285 - Hey. - I'm Diane. 826 00:35:57,416 --> 00:35:58,982 - Nice to meet you, Diane. - Nice to meet you. 827 00:35:59,113 --> 00:36:00,332 Yeah. 828 00:36:00,462 --> 00:36:02,682 What do we tell Tyler about transcending? 829 00:36:02,812 --> 00:36:05,119 I say we do it now and get him pumped off the rip. 830 00:36:05,250 --> 00:36:06,120 Not yet. 831 00:36:06,251 --> 00:36:07,165 It takes time. 832 00:36:07,295 --> 00:36:08,383 You have to build trust. 833 00:36:08,514 --> 00:36:09,689 All right, well, can we tell him 834 00:36:09,819 --> 00:36:11,343 about the Galactic Palace of NamNam Jazar? 835 00:36:11,473 --> 00:36:13,040 No. 836 00:36:13,171 --> 00:36:14,650 The energy dolphins swimming through an ocean of cloud? 837 00:36:14,781 --> 00:36:15,738 Not yet. 838 00:36:15,869 --> 00:36:17,218 The seduction of Bound Latham? 839 00:36:17,349 --> 00:36:18,698 The Ceremony of Endless Beginnings? 840 00:36:18,828 --> 00:36:20,439 Why can't we tell him anything cool? 841 00:36:20,569 --> 00:36:23,485 Let me lay it out for you in a way you might understand. 842 00:36:23,616 --> 00:36:25,748 Would Colonel Sanders share his secret spice recipe 843 00:36:25,879 --> 00:36:27,968 with somebody he just met? 844 00:36:28,098 --> 00:36:29,578 Of course not. 845 00:36:29,709 --> 00:36:32,059 He's famously tight-lipped with regards to his chicken. 846 00:36:32,190 --> 00:36:33,669 And look how successful he is. 847 00:36:36,977 --> 00:36:39,066 Holy shit. 848 00:36:39,197 --> 00:36:40,502 Morning, ladies. 849 00:36:40,633 --> 00:36:42,548 You are all looking very lovely today-- 850 00:36:42,678 --> 00:36:45,464 for a bunch of snakes. 851 00:36:45,594 --> 00:36:46,769 That's my friend right there. 852 00:36:46,900 --> 00:36:47,770 That's Diane. 853 00:36:47,901 --> 00:36:49,555 That's my new friend. 854 00:36:49,685 --> 00:36:52,035 And she was just telling me about your, frankly, disgusting 855 00:36:52,166 --> 00:36:53,820 conduct that you showed her this morning. 856 00:36:53,950 --> 00:36:55,387 Vile. 857 00:36:55,517 --> 00:36:57,606 You are all being vile to her, and that does not 858 00:36:57,737 --> 00:36:59,347 sit right with me, OK? 859 00:36:59,478 --> 00:37:00,870 So I'm asking you-- 860 00:37:01,001 --> 00:37:03,264 I am asking you as an American citizen-- 861 00:37:03,395 --> 00:37:05,832 to go apologize to her right now. 862 00:37:05,962 --> 00:37:07,660 No threat. 863 00:37:07,790 --> 00:37:10,010 I'm not threatening you, but you must do it. 864 00:37:16,146 --> 00:37:19,585 Guys, this is Diane, and I feel like she 865 00:37:19,715 --> 00:37:21,935 might be exactly the kind of person we're looking for. 866 00:37:22,065 --> 00:37:23,458 - Hi, guys. - Hell, yeah. 867 00:37:23,589 --> 00:37:24,894 Welcome, Diane. 868 00:37:25,025 --> 00:37:26,113 Well, hold on. 869 00:37:26,244 --> 00:37:27,332 The way you guys were talking, you 870 00:37:27,462 --> 00:37:29,072 said this group is all about community. 871 00:37:29,203 --> 00:37:31,118 It's all about helping kindred spirits, whatever. 872 00:37:31,249 --> 00:37:32,467 - Yup. - She's awesome. 873 00:37:32,598 --> 00:37:33,729 Right. 874 00:37:33,860 --> 00:37:35,209 It's just kind of a vetting process. 875 00:37:35,340 --> 00:37:36,906 And I'm sure you're a lovely person, but-- 876 00:37:37,037 --> 00:37:37,864 Say no more. 877 00:37:37,994 --> 00:37:39,169 I totally get it. 878 00:37:39,300 --> 00:37:40,562 I don't want to be a burden on you. 879 00:37:40,693 --> 00:37:42,085 I've been a burden my whole life. 880 00:37:42,216 --> 00:37:44,740 Been pretty much a drain on everyone I've ever met. 881 00:37:44,871 --> 00:37:46,394 It's all good. 882 00:37:46,525 --> 00:37:47,395 It's nice while it lasted. 883 00:37:47,526 --> 00:37:48,483 Bye, guys. 884 00:37:54,707 --> 00:37:56,491 Hold on. 885 00:37:56,622 --> 00:37:57,927 You didn't let me finish. 886 00:37:58,058 --> 00:37:59,668 We were just about to leave. 887 00:37:59,799 --> 00:38:04,238 And we just realized that none of us know how to use a map, 888 00:38:04,369 --> 00:38:06,675 so we could use someone to help us navigate, 889 00:38:06,806 --> 00:38:09,112 and we'd like you to join us. 890 00:38:09,243 --> 00:38:10,026 It's my idea. 891 00:38:10,157 --> 00:38:11,027 [cheering] 892 00:38:11,158 --> 00:38:12,333 Oh my gosh. 893 00:38:12,464 --> 00:38:13,726 Yes. 894 00:38:13,856 --> 00:38:15,293 Hell, yeah. 895 00:38:15,423 --> 00:38:17,033 - Yes. - Awesome. 896 00:38:17,164 --> 00:38:18,383 Awesome. 897 00:38:18,513 --> 00:38:20,298 I just have to do one thing really quick, 898 00:38:20,428 --> 00:38:22,996 so can I meet you in the parking lot in a couple minutes? 899 00:38:23,126 --> 00:38:24,171 - Yeah. - Yeah, for sure. 900 00:38:24,302 --> 00:38:25,215 OK, cool. OK. 901 00:38:25,346 --> 00:38:26,216 [laughs] 902 00:38:26,347 --> 00:38:27,783 See you then. 903 00:38:27,914 --> 00:38:29,002 I can't believe it. 904 00:38:29,132 --> 00:38:30,003 Diane. 905 00:38:30,133 --> 00:38:31,134 This is awesome. 906 00:38:31,265 --> 00:38:33,311 Yeah, it's good. 907 00:38:33,441 --> 00:38:35,487 Cool. 908 00:38:35,617 --> 00:38:37,358 Dude, I saw what you were doing back there, 909 00:38:37,489 --> 00:38:39,447 but I'm actually awesome at maps. 910 00:38:39,578 --> 00:38:42,145 The thing you got to do is follow the roads. 911 00:38:42,276 --> 00:38:43,146 That's a good trick. 912 00:38:43,277 --> 00:38:44,409 I know. 913 00:38:44,539 --> 00:38:45,975 I hate you. 914 00:38:46,106 --> 00:38:47,629 You're going to tell me who's a good mother, huh? 915 00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:49,457 You think you know everything about kids? 916 00:38:49,588 --> 00:38:51,807 Where did you get your fricking law degree, 917 00:38:51,938 --> 00:38:53,461 from the Toilet University? 918 00:38:53,592 --> 00:38:54,854 [SCREAMING] Nothing. 919 00:38:54,984 --> 00:38:55,855 Nothing. 920 00:38:55,985 --> 00:38:57,247 Nothing. 921 00:38:57,378 --> 00:38:59,685 You don't know anything about kids. 922 00:38:59,815 --> 00:39:01,121 You think you're Barney? 923 00:39:01,251 --> 00:39:02,905 No, you're not even Mr. Rogers. 924 00:39:03,036 --> 00:39:05,038 You're just a dumb, old bitch. 925 00:39:05,168 --> 00:39:07,214 Linda, look at me. 926 00:39:07,345 --> 00:39:08,998 Fuck you. 927 00:39:09,129 --> 00:39:11,392 [music playing] 928 00:39:15,178 --> 00:39:20,836 So um, that was pretty fucking wild back there, huh? 929 00:39:20,967 --> 00:39:23,012 What was that about? 930 00:39:23,143 --> 00:39:25,058 I know, I'm really sorry. 931 00:39:25,188 --> 00:39:27,234 I guess I should explain. 932 00:39:27,365 --> 00:39:31,020 So that judge, that little bitch, decided to ruin my life, 933 00:39:31,151 --> 00:39:33,240 like, out of nowhere. 934 00:39:33,371 --> 00:39:35,721 And she wouldn't even reconsider her insane ruling today. 935 00:39:35,851 --> 00:39:37,418 That's what I was doing there. 936 00:39:37,549 --> 00:39:39,681 Because of her, I'm not allowed to see my son anymore. 937 00:39:39,812 --> 00:39:40,726 What? 938 00:39:40,856 --> 00:39:42,162 Not really. 939 00:39:42,292 --> 00:39:43,598 You know, I'm not even exactly sure why. 940 00:39:43,729 --> 00:39:45,731 I used to do this really fun thing with him, where 941 00:39:45,861 --> 00:39:48,298 I would take him to abandon houses 942 00:39:48,429 --> 00:39:50,257 and I'd help him through the window, 943 00:39:50,388 --> 00:39:52,825 and he'd unlock the door for me and then we would sneak in 944 00:39:52,955 --> 00:39:54,217 and we would go exploring. 945 00:39:54,348 --> 00:39:55,262 He loved it. 946 00:39:55,393 --> 00:39:57,003 He really did. - Wow. 947 00:39:57,133 --> 00:39:58,613 Then one day, we went into this house 948 00:39:58,744 --> 00:40:00,615 that I really thought was abandoned because it looked 949 00:40:00,746 --> 00:40:01,616 like such shit, you know? 950 00:40:01,747 --> 00:40:03,052 Really, really bad. 951 00:40:03,183 --> 00:40:05,315 But it turns out that guy was living in there. 952 00:40:05,446 --> 00:40:06,578 Oh. 953 00:40:06,708 --> 00:40:08,014 And they took him away for that? 954 00:40:08,144 --> 00:40:09,319 Basically. 955 00:40:09,450 --> 00:40:10,756 We set off some fireworks, too, but I never 956 00:40:10,886 --> 00:40:12,627 would have done that if I knew that somebody 957 00:40:12,758 --> 00:40:14,020 was living in there, you know? 958 00:40:14,150 --> 00:40:15,587 Like, I'm not that kind of person anymore. 959 00:40:15,717 --> 00:40:17,240 I would never do that. 960 00:40:17,371 --> 00:40:19,721 Plus, my ex, Shawn's dad, made up some really bad shit 961 00:40:19,852 --> 00:40:22,028 about my work situation right now 962 00:40:22,158 --> 00:40:24,683 and the judge took his side, even though I'm his mom. 963 00:40:24,813 --> 00:40:26,380 There's nothing like a mother's love. 964 00:40:26,511 --> 00:40:28,251 He needs you. 965 00:40:28,382 --> 00:40:30,819 I know that was a lot, so I understand 966 00:40:30,950 --> 00:40:33,039 if you guys want to pull over to the side of the highway 967 00:40:33,169 --> 00:40:34,127 and dump me off. 968 00:40:34,257 --> 00:40:35,128 No. 969 00:40:35,258 --> 00:40:36,825 What? 970 00:40:36,956 --> 00:40:38,697 I know it's hard, but I appreciate your understanding. 971 00:40:38,827 --> 00:40:39,611 We all-- 972 00:40:39,741 --> 00:40:40,699 [tires screeching] 973 00:40:41,743 --> 00:40:42,831 No. 974 00:40:44,224 --> 00:40:45,878 I love the way you handled yourself back then. 975 00:40:46,008 --> 00:40:48,837 My family would never fight for me like that. 976 00:40:48,968 --> 00:40:51,057 I remember when I was a little kid, 977 00:40:51,187 --> 00:40:52,928 one time I was wrongfully accused 978 00:40:53,059 --> 00:40:55,627 of stealing six bags of Reese's Pieces from the J & F Market. 979 00:40:55,757 --> 00:40:57,367 My mom didn't take my side. 980 00:40:57,498 --> 00:40:59,239 She made me give back all the candy to the old ladies that 981 00:40:59,369 --> 00:41:00,893 saw me take it. 982 00:41:01,023 --> 00:41:02,721 I wish I had a mom that would destroy a Plymouth for me. 983 00:41:02,851 --> 00:41:03,722 Really? 984 00:41:03,852 --> 00:41:04,766 Dude. 985 00:41:04,897 --> 00:41:06,202 Yeah. 986 00:41:06,333 --> 00:41:07,290 Thanks, guys. 987 00:41:07,421 --> 00:41:11,033 You're really special. 988 00:41:11,164 --> 00:41:15,951 I guess my only thing is that you did assault that concierge 989 00:41:16,082 --> 00:41:17,823 that pulled you off of the judge's car, 990 00:41:17,953 --> 00:41:22,088 so I'm fairly certain that the police are looking for us. 991 00:41:22,218 --> 00:41:24,699 OK, so they're probably looking for this car. 992 00:41:24,830 --> 00:41:26,484 We dump it and steal a new one. 993 00:41:26,614 --> 00:41:28,181 Easy. - That's perfect. 994 00:41:28,311 --> 00:41:30,096 Then we add grand theft auto to the charges. 995 00:41:36,929 --> 00:41:40,019 Wait, I think I got it. 996 00:41:40,149 --> 00:41:41,803 I hate doing the ceiling. 997 00:41:41,934 --> 00:41:44,763 I mean, every painter knows, like, doing a ceiling, 998 00:41:44,893 --> 00:41:47,548 painting the ceiling, like when it drips-- 999 00:41:47,679 --> 00:41:49,202 It drips in your mouth and you get sick. 1000 00:41:49,332 --> 00:41:50,203 Yeah. 1001 00:41:50,333 --> 00:41:51,857 That's the worst. 1002 00:41:51,987 --> 00:41:53,815 That's probably-- that's got to be my least favorite. 1003 00:41:53,946 --> 00:41:56,296 I think every paint-- if you're a painter, you know. 1004 00:41:56,426 --> 00:41:57,950 You hate doing the ceiling. 1005 00:41:58,080 --> 00:41:59,952 Then you got that you got to take a week off 1006 00:42:00,082 --> 00:42:01,519 and you're bedridden. - Yeah. 1007 00:42:01,649 --> 00:42:02,955 And then you're staring at the ceiling. 1008 00:42:03,085 --> 00:42:04,957 You're looking at the ceiling that made you sick. 1009 00:42:05,087 --> 00:42:05,871 - That's a great sort of irony. - Whoa. 1010 00:42:06,001 --> 00:42:06,872 Whoa. Whoa. 1011 00:42:07,002 --> 00:42:08,177 Whoa. 1012 00:42:08,308 --> 00:42:09,091 What the fuck are you guys doing, huh? 1013 00:42:09,831 --> 00:42:10,919 What are you doing? 1014 00:42:11,050 --> 00:42:12,399 Well, we were painting the garage. 1015 00:42:12,530 --> 00:42:14,227 Yeah, no shit you're painting the garage. 1016 00:42:14,357 --> 00:42:17,099 You're painting my garage, and I don't want my garage painted. 1017 00:42:17,230 --> 00:42:18,144 Wait. 1018 00:42:18,274 --> 00:42:19,754 Wait. 1019 00:42:19,885 --> 00:42:21,364 When we were talking on the phone, 1020 00:42:21,495 --> 00:42:23,236 you were like, paint the garage. 1021 00:42:23,366 --> 00:42:24,629 And you weren't as mad. 1022 00:42:24,759 --> 00:42:25,673 No. 1023 00:42:25,804 --> 00:42:27,501 What's the address? 1024 00:42:27,632 --> 00:42:29,808 767 Maple-- 1025 00:42:29,938 --> 00:42:30,722 Maple Avenue. Yeah. 1026 00:42:30,852 --> 00:42:32,419 Yeah. 1027 00:42:32,550 --> 00:42:34,029 It's yummy, like the syrup. - It's yummy like the syrup. 1028 00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:35,291 That's how we remember it. - That's how we remember it. 1029 00:42:35,422 --> 00:42:36,379 Yeah. 1030 00:42:36,510 --> 00:42:38,860 This is Maple Lane, dickheads. 1031 00:42:38,991 --> 00:42:41,341 Oh, fuck. 1032 00:42:41,471 --> 00:42:42,777 - Shit. - Shit. 1033 00:42:42,908 --> 00:42:44,518 Yeah, you fucked up big time. 1034 00:42:44,649 --> 00:42:45,519 You sure? 1035 00:42:45,650 --> 00:42:46,564 Am I sure? 1036 00:42:46,694 --> 00:42:47,826 It's my fucking house. 1037 00:42:47,956 --> 00:42:49,305 Get the fuck out of here. Go. 1038 00:42:49,436 --> 00:42:50,698 - Shit. - This has happened before. 1039 00:42:50,829 --> 00:42:51,743 Yeah, this-- 1040 00:42:51,873 --> 00:42:52,787 We're sorry about that. 1041 00:42:52,918 --> 00:42:53,701 - Sorry. - No. 1042 00:42:53,832 --> 00:42:54,746 No. No. 1043 00:42:54,876 --> 00:42:55,703 No. Put that down. 1044 00:42:55,834 --> 00:42:56,922 You don't take your stuff. 1045 00:42:58,488 --> 00:42:59,664 You get your stuff when you come back with white paint 1046 00:42:59,794 --> 00:43:01,056 and you paint my garage white, the way 1047 00:43:01,187 --> 00:43:03,363 it was, the way my beautiful wife designed it. 1048 00:43:03,493 --> 00:43:04,669 - Sorry about that. - Sorry. 1049 00:43:04,799 --> 00:43:06,540 Sorry. Sorry to you and your wife. 1050 00:43:06,671 --> 00:43:07,846 Don't apologize, she's gorgeous. 1051 00:43:07,976 --> 00:43:09,021 She's an acclaimed Pilates instructor. 1052 00:43:09,151 --> 00:43:10,109 Oh. 1053 00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:11,371 Yeah, it's fucking cool. 1054 00:43:11,501 --> 00:43:12,502 Now leave. 1055 00:43:16,376 --> 00:43:18,291 [music playing] 1056 00:43:25,646 --> 00:43:27,343 We got the crew. 1057 00:43:27,474 --> 00:43:29,258 Who's ready to become the most awesome version of themselves 1058 00:43:29,389 --> 00:43:30,303 possible? 1059 00:43:30,433 --> 00:43:32,044 Me. 1060 00:43:32,174 --> 00:43:34,350 Yeah, we might be looking at a couple of scrubs right now, 1061 00:43:34,481 --> 00:43:36,614 but when we get to William's, uh-- 1062 00:43:36,744 --> 00:43:39,268 William, William, tell Diane about this place, man. 1063 00:43:39,399 --> 00:43:41,096 Uh, well, it's big. 1064 00:43:41,227 --> 00:43:41,967 It's on a lake. 1065 00:43:42,097 --> 00:43:44,273 I own it. 1066 00:43:44,404 --> 00:43:46,624 It might just be the chrysalis from which 1067 00:43:46,754 --> 00:43:50,453 we emerge our true selves, a little slice of paradise. 1068 00:43:50,584 --> 00:43:51,585 [laughs] 1069 00:43:51,716 --> 00:43:53,021 Paradise. 1070 00:43:53,152 --> 00:43:55,023 Fuck yeah. [CHANTING] William's paradise. 1071 00:43:55,154 --> 00:43:56,503 William's paradise. 1072 00:43:56,634 --> 00:43:57,591 William's paradise. 1073 00:43:57,722 --> 00:43:59,114 [music playing] 1074 00:43:59,245 --> 00:44:04,206 [SINGING] And now the sun is shining all day long. 1075 00:44:04,337 --> 00:44:07,949 There'll be no more clouds in the sky, 1076 00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:11,300 just the sun for you and I. 1077 00:44:12,475 --> 00:44:17,132 Sunshine. 1078 00:44:20,222 --> 00:44:27,534 There's only sunshine waiting for you and me. 1079 00:44:27,665 --> 00:44:34,106 It's all the happiness we dreamed that it would bring. 1080 00:44:34,236 --> 00:44:37,849 There'll be no more clouds in the sky. 1081 00:44:37,979 --> 00:44:41,983 No more wondering why. 1082 00:44:42,114 --> 00:44:46,901 Sunshine. 1083 00:44:58,608 --> 00:45:00,219 What's going on? 1084 00:45:00,349 --> 00:45:05,006 Oh, just had to help an injured moose across the road. 1085 00:45:05,137 --> 00:45:05,964 Where are we? 1086 00:45:06,094 --> 00:45:07,705 Why are you dressed like that? 1087 00:45:07,835 --> 00:45:09,750 Well, we were all going pretty stir-crazy in the car. 1088 00:45:09,881 --> 00:45:12,927 We figured, fuck it, let's stop and get some new threads. 1089 00:45:13,058 --> 00:45:15,669 Went to a little camping store, got decked out. 1090 00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:16,714 Don't worry. 1091 00:45:16,844 --> 00:45:17,976 We got something for you, too. 1092 00:45:18,106 --> 00:45:19,412 What? 1093 00:45:19,542 --> 00:45:21,893 You wanted to drive through the whole night? 1094 00:45:22,023 --> 00:45:23,155 Yeah. 1095 00:45:23,285 --> 00:45:24,373 That's crazy. 1096 00:45:24,504 --> 00:45:26,114 We need a little break. 1097 00:45:26,245 --> 00:45:28,334 We deserve to kind of chill out, maybe have some dinner. 1098 00:45:28,464 --> 00:45:29,727 Huh? 1099 00:45:29,857 --> 00:45:31,250 We stopped at a grocery store, and guess what? 1100 00:45:31,380 --> 00:45:34,644 We're going to have a little barbecue, camping style. 1101 00:45:34,775 --> 00:45:37,386 Our friend Diane here called ahead, got us a great plot. 1102 00:45:37,517 --> 00:45:39,171 She's a hell of a negotiator, this one. 1103 00:45:39,301 --> 00:45:40,912 Why didn't you wake me up? 1104 00:45:41,042 --> 00:45:42,130 Well, come on, dude. 1105 00:45:42,261 --> 00:45:43,088 You were out cold. 1106 00:45:43,218 --> 00:45:44,916 We tried. 1107 00:45:45,046 --> 00:45:48,180 I don't want to go camping. 1108 00:45:48,310 --> 00:45:52,837 So basically, I think if my dream were to come true, 1109 00:45:52,967 --> 00:45:56,928 it would be to finally guess the amount of jelly beans in the jar 1110 00:45:57,058 --> 00:45:59,147 at my mall. - That would be fucking awesome. 1111 00:45:59,278 --> 00:46:00,670 That's a great fucking answer, dude. 1112 00:46:00,801 --> 00:46:02,281 - Thanks, man. - Hell, yeah. 1113 00:46:02,411 --> 00:46:03,543 How about you, Diane? 1114 00:46:03,673 --> 00:46:05,414 Wildest dreams. 1115 00:46:05,545 --> 00:46:08,461 Wildest dream. 1116 00:46:08,591 --> 00:46:09,767 I would want to get a parrot. 1117 00:46:13,292 --> 00:46:14,989 OK. 1118 00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:16,295 That's nice, but come on. 1119 00:46:16,425 --> 00:46:17,296 Think bigger than parrot. 1120 00:46:17,426 --> 00:46:19,037 We can get you a parrot. 1121 00:46:19,167 --> 00:46:22,127 Anything in the world, what do you want your life to look like? 1122 00:46:22,257 --> 00:46:23,345 OK. 1123 00:46:23,476 --> 00:46:24,999 I've never told anyone this before, 1124 00:46:25,130 --> 00:46:30,700 but um, I would want to be an actress in TV commercials. 1125 00:46:30,831 --> 00:46:35,183 You know, like I want to be one of those women by the shower, 1126 00:46:35,314 --> 00:46:37,185 and they're spritzing it, and they go, just 1127 00:46:37,316 --> 00:46:39,361 look at that shine. 1128 00:46:39,492 --> 00:46:40,928 Like that. - Wow. 1129 00:46:41,059 --> 00:46:42,321 But I could never. I could never. 1130 00:46:42,451 --> 00:46:43,626 Nobody would want me to do that. 1131 00:46:43,757 --> 00:46:44,584 What do you mean you could never? 1132 00:46:44,714 --> 00:46:46,368 You just did. 1133 00:46:46,499 --> 00:46:49,415 Yeah, I would buy $1,000 worth of cleaning supplies off that 1134 00:46:49,545 --> 00:46:51,156 pitch alone. 1135 00:46:51,286 --> 00:46:52,461 You're a natural. [laughs] 1136 00:46:52,592 --> 00:46:53,680 For real. 1137 00:46:53,811 --> 00:46:55,334 And if you're this good now, just 1138 00:46:55,464 --> 00:46:57,205 imagine what it's going to be like when we transcend. 1139 00:46:57,336 --> 00:46:59,599 What does transcend mean? 1140 00:46:59,729 --> 00:47:00,730 I meant-- 1141 00:47:00,861 --> 00:47:01,775 I didn't say it. 1142 00:47:01,906 --> 00:47:03,472 I said tan skin. 1143 00:47:03,603 --> 00:47:06,998 When we tan skin at William's paradise, 1144 00:47:07,128 --> 00:47:08,216 there's going to be so much-- 1145 00:47:08,347 --> 00:47:09,957 by the lake, so much sun. 1146 00:47:10,088 --> 00:47:12,003 And everybody likes a tan actor, right? 1147 00:47:12,133 --> 00:47:13,221 - Yeah. - Hey, Diane? 1148 00:47:13,352 --> 00:47:15,049 Diane? 1149 00:47:15,180 --> 00:47:16,181 Would you mind going to get us some sodas from the vending 1150 00:47:16,311 --> 00:47:17,660 machine? - Totally. 1151 00:47:17,791 --> 00:47:18,705 Yeah. 1152 00:47:18,836 --> 00:47:20,576 I hope they have grape. 1153 00:47:20,707 --> 00:47:21,839 Diet grape for me. 1154 00:47:24,972 --> 00:47:27,453 You like the tan skin, right, dude? 1155 00:47:27,583 --> 00:47:28,497 I've never been able to. 1156 00:47:28,628 --> 00:47:29,629 My skin is like paper. 1157 00:47:36,462 --> 00:47:40,074 They should put beer in those, don't you think? 1158 00:47:40,205 --> 00:47:42,468 Yeah, I guess so. 1159 00:47:42,598 --> 00:47:44,426 I ain't never seen you stay here before. 1160 00:47:44,557 --> 00:47:48,169 I know because I'm always here. 1161 00:47:48,300 --> 00:47:50,824 That's mine. 1162 00:47:50,955 --> 00:47:54,828 You ever been in one of them before? 1163 00:47:54,959 --> 00:47:58,832 Man, it's like a big car with a bed. 1164 00:48:01,704 --> 00:48:02,880 I didn't catch your name. 1165 00:48:03,010 --> 00:48:05,230 It's Gertrude. 1166 00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:08,581 Gertrude, I'm going to stop beating around the bush. 1167 00:48:08,711 --> 00:48:12,411 I ain't seen something as pretty as you in a long, long time. 1168 00:48:12,541 --> 00:48:15,980 And even though you got the name of a real old lady, 1169 00:48:16,110 --> 00:48:20,288 I'd like to invite you onto my house and have sex with me. 1170 00:48:20,419 --> 00:48:24,336 My wife is taking care of her sister this week. 1171 00:48:27,687 --> 00:48:29,341 No, thank you. 1172 00:48:29,471 --> 00:48:31,430 Bye. 1173 00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:32,518 Door's always open. 1174 00:48:35,825 --> 00:48:37,131 Thank you. 1175 00:48:37,262 --> 00:48:38,132 Thanks. 1176 00:48:38,263 --> 00:48:42,789 And you, William. 1177 00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:47,576 Just in time, a little soda to wash down these dogs. 1178 00:48:47,707 --> 00:48:49,317 Hey, Tyler, you got to double it up. 1179 00:48:49,448 --> 00:48:51,058 What are you doing with a single dog? 1180 00:48:51,189 --> 00:48:52,668 I don't even know. 1181 00:48:52,799 --> 00:48:54,018 You're embarrassing yourself. 1182 00:48:54,148 --> 00:48:56,107 Yeah. 1183 00:48:56,237 --> 00:48:58,109 What's the most hot dogs you ever had in a day? 1184 00:49:03,418 --> 00:49:04,376 Hey, look who it is. 1185 00:49:04,506 --> 00:49:05,725 Yo. You. 1186 00:49:05,855 --> 00:49:06,856 What's up, dude? 1187 00:49:06,987 --> 00:49:08,162 What is this? 1188 00:49:08,293 --> 00:49:09,903 Somebody want to tell me what's happening? 1189 00:49:10,034 --> 00:49:11,426 Who is this? 1190 00:49:11,557 --> 00:49:13,341 I'm Jim Smith. 1191 00:49:13,472 --> 00:49:16,127 I'm part of the family. 1192 00:49:16,257 --> 00:49:18,607 OK it's time we come clean. 1193 00:49:18,738 --> 00:49:22,394 Earlier, we weren't stopping to help a moose across the road. 1194 00:49:22,524 --> 00:49:24,483 We were picking up Jim Smith. 1195 00:49:24,613 --> 00:49:27,399 The family grows stronger with another member. 1196 00:49:27,529 --> 00:49:29,792 And listen, I know what you're going to say. 1197 00:49:29,923 --> 00:49:30,793 We vetted him. 1198 00:49:30,924 --> 00:49:31,794 Don't worry. 1199 00:49:31,925 --> 00:49:33,405 It's all good. 1200 00:49:33,535 --> 00:49:36,756 William's paradise sounds like a dream come true. 1201 00:49:39,933 --> 00:49:42,544 Chip? 1202 00:49:42,675 --> 00:49:43,806 Chip? 1203 00:49:43,937 --> 00:49:44,807 What? 1204 00:49:44,938 --> 00:49:46,505 Let's talk. 1205 00:49:46,635 --> 00:49:47,549 I'm doing hot dogs. 1206 00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:48,637 Now. 1207 00:49:50,596 --> 00:49:52,511 Jimmy, why don't you take over for me, buddy? 1208 00:50:01,955 --> 00:50:03,000 You like hot dogs? 1209 00:50:07,656 --> 00:50:10,442 This is not working. 1210 00:50:10,572 --> 00:50:12,183 What are you talking about? 1211 00:50:12,313 --> 00:50:13,488 I gave you a chance. 1212 00:50:13,619 --> 00:50:14,968 I gave you the keys. 1213 00:50:15,099 --> 00:50:17,144 And I'm doing a fucking great job. 1214 00:50:17,275 --> 00:50:19,103 You're doing the opposite of a great job. 1215 00:50:19,233 --> 00:50:22,584 You're doing everything I said we should not be doing. 1216 00:50:22,715 --> 00:50:24,325 You're building too fast. 1217 00:50:24,456 --> 00:50:26,197 You're telling them about transcending before they even 1218 00:50:26,327 --> 00:50:27,633 know the teachings. 1219 00:50:27,763 --> 00:50:29,374 You're spending all our money on camping gear. 1220 00:50:29,504 --> 00:50:31,811 You picked up a hitchhiker, who may well be a murderer. 1221 00:50:31,941 --> 00:50:32,812 Jim Smith's cool. 1222 00:50:32,942 --> 00:50:34,074 You're overreacting. 1223 00:50:34,205 --> 00:50:35,641 I really don't think I am. 1224 00:50:35,771 --> 00:50:37,469 And you're not going to like this, 1225 00:50:37,599 --> 00:50:39,471 but I've made a decision to demote you 1226 00:50:39,601 --> 00:50:42,039 from the position of co-leader of this family. 1227 00:50:42,169 --> 00:50:43,040 You can't demote me. 1228 00:50:43,170 --> 00:50:44,954 No, we're co-leaders. 1229 00:50:45,085 --> 00:50:46,608 You don't make that decision by yourself. 1230 00:50:46,739 --> 00:50:48,262 I already have. 1231 00:50:48,393 --> 00:50:50,569 No, fuck that, because you forgot our arrangement. 1232 00:50:50,699 --> 00:50:53,267 Either we do this together as co-leaders or I take you 1233 00:50:53,398 --> 00:50:54,703 to the cops. - Oh, interesting. 1234 00:50:54,834 --> 00:50:56,488 OK, yeah. 1235 00:50:56,618 --> 00:50:58,664 Call the police and they'll come and they'll haul me away. 1236 00:50:58,794 --> 00:51:00,361 And then what do you think's going 1237 00:51:00,492 --> 00:51:03,060 to happen with all those people when you have nowhere 1238 00:51:03,190 --> 00:51:04,713 to take them? 1239 00:51:04,844 --> 00:51:06,585 They're going to leave and you're going to be alone. 1240 00:51:06,715 --> 00:51:09,327 This is fucked up, dude. 1241 00:51:09,457 --> 00:51:12,069 Hey, it's only temporary. 1242 00:51:12,199 --> 00:51:14,332 We can reassess once we get to the lake house. 1243 00:51:14,462 --> 00:51:15,463 How about that? 1244 00:51:15,594 --> 00:51:17,291 I mean, maybe there was one or two 1245 00:51:17,422 --> 00:51:18,901 things I could have run by you, but this is fucking extreme, 1246 00:51:19,032 --> 00:51:20,381 dude. 1247 00:51:20,512 --> 00:51:24,733 Look, one day, when we've transcended together, 1248 00:51:24,864 --> 00:51:25,778 you'll understand. 1249 00:51:46,233 --> 00:51:49,018 This is a song I used to know in another lifetime, 1250 00:51:49,149 --> 00:51:50,803 so I apologize if I'm a little rusty. 1251 00:51:56,069 --> 00:51:57,505 [playing guitar] 1252 00:51:58,811 --> 00:52:00,334 [SINGING] They woke up in the dark. 1253 00:52:05,905 --> 00:52:09,082 They learned to walk in the dark. 1254 00:52:15,915 --> 00:52:24,358 They sang their songs in the dark. 1255 00:52:24,489 --> 00:52:26,055 They didn't know the sun. 1256 00:52:31,713 --> 00:52:33,933 She wandered from the path they laid. 1257 00:52:40,722 --> 00:52:42,463 Said, don't go, you'll be afraid. 1258 00:52:48,948 --> 00:52:49,949 I smile. 1259 00:52:53,996 --> 00:52:57,565 Turn my eyes toward the sun. 1260 00:53:01,482 --> 00:53:04,833 [humming] 1261 00:53:31,338 --> 00:53:34,211 [upbeat music playing] 1262 00:53:34,341 --> 00:53:36,125 That's crazy. 1263 00:53:36,256 --> 00:53:37,997 You go forever and ever and ever. 1264 00:53:38,127 --> 00:53:40,173 No. 1265 00:53:40,304 --> 00:53:41,348 You're cheating. 1266 00:53:41,479 --> 00:53:42,393 Traitor. 1267 00:53:46,397 --> 00:53:47,746 Good morning, family. 1268 00:53:47,876 --> 00:53:50,749 Good morning, William. 1269 00:53:50,879 --> 00:53:52,054 Got you a cup of coffee. 1270 00:53:52,185 --> 00:53:53,795 I thought you might like some of that. 1271 00:53:53,926 --> 00:53:55,319 Oh, thank you, Tyler. 1272 00:53:55,449 --> 00:53:57,016 You're welcome. 1273 00:53:57,146 --> 00:53:58,104 Thank you. 1274 00:53:58,235 --> 00:54:00,106 I slept like a baby last night. 1275 00:54:00,237 --> 00:54:01,890 Oh, that's great to hear. 1276 00:54:02,021 --> 00:54:02,891 Diane, good morning. 1277 00:54:03,022 --> 00:54:05,067 Good morning, William. 1278 00:54:05,198 --> 00:54:07,418 Uh-oh, you have a little leaf in your hair. 1279 00:54:07,548 --> 00:54:08,462 Uh-oh. 1280 00:54:08,593 --> 00:54:09,594 Oh, no. 1281 00:54:09,724 --> 00:54:10,943 God, it's so soft. 1282 00:54:11,073 --> 00:54:12,031 It's like feathers. 1283 00:54:12,161 --> 00:54:13,032 Thank you. 1284 00:54:13,162 --> 00:54:15,643 Good morning. 1285 00:54:15,774 --> 00:54:18,951 I got to say, you three are brimming with potential today. 1286 00:54:19,081 --> 00:54:20,866 Oh my God, thank you. 1287 00:54:20,996 --> 00:54:23,085 I mean it. 1288 00:54:23,216 --> 00:54:27,612 Ah, Chip, you decided to join us. 1289 00:54:27,742 --> 00:54:29,353 Yeah. 1290 00:54:29,483 --> 00:54:31,964 You missed a really wonderful discussion last night. 1291 00:54:32,094 --> 00:54:34,271 Basically, we are all worms. 1292 00:54:34,401 --> 00:54:36,011 Yeah, I know that one. 1293 00:54:39,580 --> 00:54:42,017 All right, gang, I'm going to hit the showers. 1294 00:54:42,148 --> 00:54:44,106 Chip, why don't you go ahead and start breaking down 1295 00:54:44,237 --> 00:54:45,456 the tents for us, OK? 1296 00:54:58,512 --> 00:55:01,863 Hey, Chip, dude, is everything OK, man? 1297 00:55:01,994 --> 00:55:03,865 Yeah, dude, everything's fucking awesome. 1298 00:55:03,996 --> 00:55:05,214 Good. 1299 00:55:05,345 --> 00:55:06,825 It's just you seem-- you seem kind of down. 1300 00:55:06,955 --> 00:55:08,740 What? 1301 00:55:08,870 --> 00:55:10,176 Nah, dude, I was up all night thinking about all the chicks 1302 00:55:10,307 --> 00:55:11,220 I slammed, actually. 1303 00:55:11,351 --> 00:55:12,831 Oh my God, that's excellent. 1304 00:55:12,961 --> 00:55:13,788 It was fucking sick. 1305 00:55:13,919 --> 00:55:15,094 That's so sick. 1306 00:55:15,224 --> 00:55:17,009 It's just I'm pretty sure I saw you 1307 00:55:17,139 --> 00:55:18,663 crying last night at the fire. 1308 00:55:18,793 --> 00:55:20,012 What the fuck, dude? 1309 00:55:20,142 --> 00:55:21,143 Don't you ever fucking lie about me again. 1310 00:55:21,274 --> 00:55:22,101 - Sorry. - I don't cry, dude. 1311 00:55:22,231 --> 00:55:23,407 OK. 1312 00:55:23,537 --> 00:55:25,060 If you saw anything-- and you didn't-- 1313 00:55:25,191 --> 00:55:27,715 probably what you saw was me being sad because William's 1314 00:55:27,846 --> 00:55:29,413 song sucked so much dick. 1315 00:55:29,543 --> 00:55:31,066 I thought the song was awesome. 1316 00:55:31,197 --> 00:55:32,546 It rocked. 1317 00:55:32,677 --> 00:55:34,243 Yeah, dude, you would think some shit like that. 1318 00:55:34,374 --> 00:55:36,028 You're fucking weak-minded. 1319 00:55:36,158 --> 00:55:39,031 I just want to let you, man, like, if you're hurting, 1320 00:55:39,161 --> 00:55:40,467 trust me, I've been hurt before. 1321 00:55:40,598 --> 00:55:43,165 I've been hurt in ways that are illegal. 1322 00:55:43,296 --> 00:55:46,691 But if you are feeling bad, just let me know, man. 1323 00:55:46,821 --> 00:55:47,735 I'm here for you. 1324 00:55:47,866 --> 00:55:48,910 We're family now. 1325 00:55:49,041 --> 00:55:50,347 Dude, I don't need shit like that. 1326 00:55:50,477 --> 00:55:52,131 I'm at the top of this thing. 1327 00:55:52,261 --> 00:55:54,220 I've been here longer than you. You don't help me with stuff. 1328 00:55:54,351 --> 00:55:55,221 I help you with stuff. - OK. 1329 00:55:55,352 --> 00:55:56,614 OK. I'm sorry. 1330 00:55:56,744 --> 00:55:58,355 I've stepped over a boundary, and I apologize. 1331 00:55:58,485 --> 00:55:59,617 - Yeah, you did. - I'm very sorry. 1332 00:55:59,747 --> 00:56:00,487 I'm sorry. - You fucked up, dude. 1333 00:56:00,618 --> 00:56:02,315 - OK. - Beat it. 1334 00:56:02,446 --> 00:56:03,447 - I'm sorry for bothering you. - Dude, you're slowing me down. 1335 00:56:03,577 --> 00:56:05,013 - I'm sorry. - I have an important job. 1336 00:56:05,144 --> 00:56:06,275 Were you assigned a job? 1337 00:56:06,406 --> 00:56:07,581 I don't know. 1338 00:56:07,712 --> 00:56:09,191 No, because you're not trustworthy enough. 1339 00:56:09,322 --> 00:56:10,323 I'm sorry, dude. 1340 00:56:19,811 --> 00:56:21,682 [whistling] 1341 00:56:23,858 --> 00:56:25,469 All yours, ginger dick. 1342 00:56:25,599 --> 00:56:27,166 Thanks. 1343 00:56:27,296 --> 00:56:28,602 Holy shit. 1344 00:56:28,733 --> 00:56:30,909 Holy fucking shit. 1345 00:56:31,039 --> 00:56:32,867 Three Balls Billy. 1346 00:56:32,998 --> 00:56:34,478 How's that third nut, Billy? 1347 00:56:34,608 --> 00:56:36,218 You must be thinking of somebody else. 1348 00:56:36,349 --> 00:56:37,568 Oh, bullshit. 1349 00:56:37,698 --> 00:56:38,525 It's me. 1350 00:56:38,656 --> 00:56:39,570 It's Robbie. 1351 00:56:39,700 --> 00:56:40,484 Come on, man. 1352 00:56:40,614 --> 00:56:42,050 How you been? 1353 00:56:42,181 --> 00:56:43,835 You still hanging out with all those busted theater 1354 00:56:43,965 --> 00:56:46,533 girls who follow you around, call you a wizard? 1355 00:56:46,664 --> 00:56:47,752 Different guy. 1356 00:56:47,882 --> 00:56:49,362 Come on. Robbie. 1357 00:56:49,493 --> 00:56:50,842 You're right. 1358 00:56:50,972 --> 00:56:54,149 I shit in your history book and smushed it shut. 1359 00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:55,499 You've mistaken me for someone else. 1360 00:56:55,629 --> 00:56:56,543 No. No. 1361 00:56:56,674 --> 00:56:57,457 No. No. 1362 00:56:57,588 --> 00:56:58,676 I'm pretty sure it's you. 1363 00:57:00,025 --> 00:57:01,243 Matter of fact, I was just thinking about you. 1364 00:57:01,374 --> 00:57:02,854 Saw a picture of a fucking guy on the news. 1365 00:57:02,984 --> 00:57:04,769 Thought it was you, but wasn't sure. 1366 00:57:04,899 --> 00:57:06,292 Had a lady's haircut. 1367 00:57:06,423 --> 00:57:09,077 But seeing you here in person, I think it was you. 1368 00:57:09,208 --> 00:57:11,471 What's going on, man? 1369 00:57:11,602 --> 00:57:12,777 That wasn't me. 1370 00:57:12,907 --> 00:57:13,821 Oh. 1371 00:57:13,952 --> 00:57:14,866 [laughs] 1372 00:57:14,996 --> 00:57:15,867 All right. 1373 00:57:15,997 --> 00:57:17,651 I get it. 1374 00:57:17,782 --> 00:57:21,568 Hey, I'd do the same thing, too, if they were looking for me. 1375 00:57:21,699 --> 00:57:24,179 Well, good seeing you, Bill. 1376 00:57:31,448 --> 00:57:34,320 [music playing] 1377 00:57:34,451 --> 00:57:36,061 OK, everybody, it's time to go. 1378 00:57:36,191 --> 00:57:37,454 Time to go. 1379 00:57:37,584 --> 00:57:38,846 Let's get in the car. 1380 00:57:38,977 --> 00:57:40,108 Let's leave everything. 1381 00:57:40,239 --> 00:57:41,849 Trust me. 1382 00:57:41,980 --> 00:57:44,330 Tyler, I would love to invite you to drive for us today. 1383 00:57:44,461 --> 00:57:45,331 Are you serious? 1384 00:57:45,462 --> 00:57:47,028 I am. 1385 00:57:47,159 --> 00:57:49,727 And Diane, our navigator, we couldn't do it without you. 1386 00:57:49,857 --> 00:57:51,163 Please resume your position. 1387 00:57:51,293 --> 00:57:52,381 [laughs] 1388 00:57:52,512 --> 00:57:53,295 OK. 1389 00:57:53,426 --> 00:57:54,296 Leave everything. 1390 00:57:54,427 --> 00:57:56,429 Let's go into the car. 1391 00:57:56,560 --> 00:57:58,387 We won't need tents where we're going. 1392 00:58:08,789 --> 00:58:13,228 And we'll all have our own bedrooms overlooking the lake. 1393 00:58:13,359 --> 00:58:16,710 I think it's going to be a perfect place for us to become 1394 00:58:16,841 --> 00:58:18,103 who we were always meant to be. 1395 00:58:39,690 --> 00:58:42,127 [radio playing] 1396 00:58:46,566 --> 00:58:48,916 Hello? 1397 00:58:49,047 --> 00:58:50,178 Aunt Bev? 1398 00:58:50,309 --> 00:58:51,571 It's Billy. 1399 00:58:51,702 --> 00:58:54,574 Sandra, is that you? 1400 00:58:54,705 --> 00:58:57,098 Not too hung over today, party girl. 1401 00:58:57,229 --> 00:58:59,187 But you can hang out if you want. 1402 00:58:59,318 --> 00:59:00,449 You can use the bathroom. 1403 00:59:03,191 --> 00:59:04,149 Aunt Bev, is that you? 1404 00:59:04,279 --> 00:59:05,237 Who is that? 1405 00:59:08,109 --> 00:59:09,546 I'm Billy. 1406 00:59:09,676 --> 00:59:10,590 Is my aunt here? 1407 00:59:17,728 --> 00:59:19,860 Honey, where you been? 1408 00:59:19,991 --> 00:59:21,427 Where have I been? 1409 00:59:21,558 --> 00:59:23,124 I mean, I've been a lot of places. 1410 00:59:23,255 --> 00:59:25,344 Where's my aunt? 1411 00:59:25,474 --> 00:59:27,564 Honey, I'm sorry to have to say this, 1412 00:59:27,694 --> 00:59:31,306 but your Aunt Bev passed about six months ago. 1413 00:59:31,437 --> 00:59:33,482 She was sick for a couple of years. 1414 00:59:36,268 --> 00:59:37,965 I didn't know that. 1415 00:59:38,096 --> 00:59:40,054 She cared for you a whole lot. 1416 00:59:40,185 --> 00:59:41,055 You know that. 1417 00:59:41,186 --> 00:59:42,361 Yeah. 1418 00:59:42,491 --> 00:59:43,754 I mean, she was my favorite aunt. 1419 00:59:43,884 --> 00:59:44,929 She was my only aunt. 1420 00:59:48,497 --> 00:59:53,198 And you didn't think to call in, what, six years? 1421 00:59:53,328 --> 00:59:56,897 Yeah, I should have called. 1422 00:59:57,028 --> 00:59:58,377 Who are you? 1423 00:59:58,507 --> 00:59:59,683 I'm Dorota. 1424 00:59:59,813 --> 01:00:01,641 I did your aunt's hair for years. 1425 01:00:01,772 --> 01:00:02,947 Started getting friendly. 1426 01:00:03,077 --> 01:00:05,253 When she got sick, I helped her out. 1427 01:00:05,384 --> 01:00:07,647 I miss her, I do. 1428 01:00:07,778 --> 01:00:10,171 She was so kind to me. 1429 01:00:10,302 --> 01:00:11,129 She left me this place. 1430 01:00:11,259 --> 01:00:13,653 She didn't have to do that. 1431 01:00:13,784 --> 01:00:16,525 She always said she was going to leave me the house. 1432 01:00:16,656 --> 01:00:18,832 She wanted to. 1433 01:00:18,963 --> 01:00:20,181 You broke her heart, honey. 1434 01:00:20,312 --> 01:00:21,748 How hard is it to pick up the phone? 1435 01:00:25,447 --> 01:00:28,450 Probably the prettiest place I've ever been in my whole life. 1436 01:00:28,581 --> 01:00:30,627 I knew two boys that drowned in a lake once. 1437 01:00:37,416 --> 01:00:40,593 Sorry, guys, this is not my property. 1438 01:00:40,724 --> 01:00:43,857 It's my aunt's, and she's dead, and she left it 1439 01:00:43,988 --> 01:00:46,555 to her hairdresser instead of me. 1440 01:00:46,686 --> 01:00:49,733 So this whole thing is over. 1441 01:00:49,863 --> 01:00:51,169 Thanks for coming. 1442 01:00:51,299 --> 01:00:52,649 It just wasn't meant to be. 1443 01:00:55,347 --> 01:00:57,741 Wow, that really sucks. 1444 01:01:01,527 --> 01:01:03,877 Chip, what are you doing? 1445 01:01:04,008 --> 01:01:06,140 Chip? 1446 01:01:06,271 --> 01:01:07,402 [knock] 1447 01:01:07,533 --> 01:01:09,274 Hello? 1448 01:01:09,404 --> 01:01:10,318 Ma'am? 1449 01:01:10,449 --> 01:01:13,104 I told you to leave. 1450 01:01:13,234 --> 01:01:14,801 Who are you? 1451 01:01:14,932 --> 01:01:15,802 Oh, hi. 1452 01:01:15,933 --> 01:01:16,803 I'm Chip. 1453 01:01:16,934 --> 01:01:18,457 I'm friends with William. 1454 01:01:18,587 --> 01:01:20,154 I'm not sure how much he told you, 1455 01:01:20,285 --> 01:01:22,635 but our group is really depending on this house. 1456 01:01:22,766 --> 01:01:23,810 Group? 1457 01:01:23,941 --> 01:01:25,551 He didn't say anything about a group. 1458 01:01:25,682 --> 01:01:27,118 That little shit just came in here 1459 01:01:27,248 --> 01:01:28,510 and threatened me with legal. 1460 01:01:28,641 --> 01:01:30,425 Said he was going to kick me out of my house. 1461 01:01:30,556 --> 01:01:31,862 Yeah, no, that sounds like him. 1462 01:01:31,992 --> 01:01:33,864 He could definitely be a dickhead sometimes. 1463 01:01:33,994 --> 01:01:36,083 The thing is, though, me and my friends just really 1464 01:01:36,214 --> 01:01:39,130 don't have anywhere else to go. 1465 01:01:39,260 --> 01:01:41,436 Whoa, sick piñata. 1466 01:01:41,567 --> 01:01:43,700 Is that a beer smoking weed? 1467 01:01:43,830 --> 01:01:45,266 Yeah, I made it myself. 1468 01:01:45,397 --> 01:01:46,224 You 1469 01:01:46,354 --> 01:01:47,791 Keep a really nice home. 1470 01:01:47,921 --> 01:01:49,967 Anyway, it's just we've been on the road 1471 01:01:50,097 --> 01:01:51,664 just trying to get here for days. 1472 01:01:51,795 --> 01:01:53,448 And everyone in the crew is so awesome. 1473 01:01:53,579 --> 01:01:56,887 You have Tyler, who's this tall, strong physical specimen. 1474 01:01:57,017 --> 01:02:00,064 And Diane, she's beautiful and nice and just trying 1475 01:02:00,194 --> 01:02:01,456 to get her son back. 1476 01:02:01,587 --> 01:02:02,893 And then there's Jim Smith, who's 1477 01:02:03,023 --> 01:02:04,721 a foreign man of some kind. 1478 01:02:04,851 --> 01:02:06,374 We'll do whatever it takes to stay here. 1479 01:02:06,505 --> 01:02:07,375 We'll do your laundry. 1480 01:02:07,506 --> 01:02:08,550 We'll cook for you. 1481 01:02:08,681 --> 01:02:09,769 We'll clean. 1482 01:02:09,900 --> 01:02:11,640 We'll secure the premises. 1483 01:02:11,771 --> 01:02:13,730 We just-- we just really need a place to become our best selves. 1484 01:02:13,860 --> 01:02:15,209 I'm sorry, honey. 1485 01:02:15,340 --> 01:02:16,558 I don't think I can house a whole crew of people 1486 01:02:16,689 --> 01:02:18,386 I don't know. 1487 01:02:18,517 --> 01:02:19,997 No, I know. 1488 01:02:20,127 --> 01:02:21,607 You're right. 1489 01:02:21,738 --> 01:02:25,611 It's just I owed it to everybody to give it a shot. 1490 01:02:25,742 --> 01:02:29,267 Thank you for hearing me out. 1491 01:02:29,397 --> 01:02:30,572 It's a shame, too. 1492 01:02:30,703 --> 01:02:33,358 This really is such an awesome place. 1493 01:02:33,488 --> 01:02:36,448 Is that a vintage Dorota "The Destroyer" poster. 1494 01:02:36,578 --> 01:02:38,537 Come on now, you're just trying to butter me up. 1495 01:02:38,667 --> 01:02:39,581 What? 1496 01:02:39,712 --> 01:02:41,627 [music playing] 1497 01:02:48,852 --> 01:02:50,157 No way. 1498 01:02:50,288 --> 01:02:51,942 Are you kidding me right now? 1499 01:02:52,072 --> 01:02:53,160 Come on. 1500 01:02:53,291 --> 01:02:54,596 You know who I am? 1501 01:02:54,727 --> 01:02:55,772 Do I know who you are? 1502 01:02:55,902 --> 01:02:57,121 I remember this exactly. 1503 01:02:57,251 --> 01:02:58,383 May 9th, 1981. 1504 01:02:58,513 --> 01:03:00,254 The Superdome. You got fucked. 1505 01:03:00,385 --> 01:03:02,126 The ref turned his back and Marvelous Mabel 1506 01:03:02,256 --> 01:03:03,257 hit you over the head with a steel chair. 1507 01:03:03,388 --> 01:03:04,563 Pinned you. 1508 01:03:04,693 --> 01:03:05,651 She stole the championship from you. 1509 01:03:05,782 --> 01:03:06,913 You should have been the champ. 1510 01:03:07,044 --> 01:03:07,827 You got fucked. 1511 01:03:07,958 --> 01:03:10,134 God, that thing was rigged. 1512 01:03:10,264 --> 01:03:12,397 I hate to break it to you, kid, they're all rigged. 1513 01:03:12,527 --> 01:03:14,268 You had such cool moves-- 1514 01:03:14,399 --> 01:03:17,445 the Dance of Destruction, Thigh Blaster. 1515 01:03:17,576 --> 01:03:19,099 Come on, are you kidding me? 1516 01:03:19,230 --> 01:03:21,101 That was a long time ago. 1517 01:03:21,232 --> 01:03:22,581 God, you were so electric. What's going on? 1518 01:03:22,711 --> 01:03:24,017 Why are you here? 1519 01:03:24,148 --> 01:03:25,453 You should be headlining main events right now. 1520 01:03:25,584 --> 01:03:27,804 Yeah, that was a lot of fun, but nobody 1521 01:03:27,934 --> 01:03:30,067 wants to watch an old lady parade around next to nothing 1522 01:03:30,197 --> 01:03:32,373 and crush a man's head with her thighs. 1523 01:03:32,504 --> 01:03:34,811 Well, speak for yourself, sister. 1524 01:03:37,422 --> 01:03:39,250 [grunts] 1525 01:03:43,645 --> 01:03:44,690 The hell is he doing? 1526 01:03:48,215 --> 01:03:55,005 Oh my God, that was one of the coolest ways I've ever busted. 1527 01:03:55,135 --> 01:03:58,225 I'm not even close to being done with you yet. 1528 01:03:58,356 --> 01:04:00,706 [music playing] 1529 01:04:37,874 --> 01:04:38,875 Thigh-blast me. 1530 01:04:42,356 --> 01:04:43,662 You like that little piggy? 1531 01:04:43,792 --> 01:04:44,706 Yes. 1532 01:04:44,837 --> 01:04:46,186 - Prove it. - I like. 1533 01:04:46,317 --> 01:04:47,187 I like. 1534 01:04:47,318 --> 01:04:48,232 I like. 1535 01:04:48,362 --> 01:04:49,798 I like. 1536 01:04:49,929 --> 01:04:51,888 [cheering] 1537 01:04:56,762 --> 01:04:58,938 [chatter] 1538 01:04:59,069 --> 01:05:02,811 Holy crap, dude, it's so cool that Chip saved the day. 1539 01:05:06,380 --> 01:05:11,429 Hey, everybody, I have something I'd like to say. 1540 01:05:11,559 --> 01:05:15,389 I've decided to step down from my position as a leader, 1541 01:05:15,520 --> 01:05:19,567 because I think we've all realized something. 1542 01:05:19,698 --> 01:05:21,700 Actually, I want to get this on camera. 1543 01:05:21,830 --> 01:05:23,571 William, what are you talking about, man? 1544 01:05:27,227 --> 01:05:29,795 I'd like to give a toast to Chip. 1545 01:05:29,926 --> 01:05:32,363 He's the one true leader of this group, and he always has been. 1546 01:05:32,493 --> 01:05:33,712 [music playing] - To Chip. 1547 01:05:33,842 --> 01:05:34,713 [cheering] 1548 01:05:34,843 --> 01:05:37,063 Let's go. 1549 01:05:37,194 --> 01:05:38,935 Would you follow Chip anywhere? 1550 01:05:39,065 --> 01:05:40,327 Oh, without hesitation. 1551 01:05:44,244 --> 01:05:46,899 Chip is an awesome leader. 1552 01:05:47,030 --> 01:05:49,119 He got us this beautiful new home. 1553 01:05:49,249 --> 01:05:51,121 He's the smartest man I ever met. 1554 01:05:51,251 --> 01:05:53,123 Who was it that brought you into this group? 1555 01:05:53,253 --> 01:05:56,082 Chip, all the way. 1556 01:05:56,213 --> 01:05:57,954 [laughs] 1557 01:05:58,084 --> 01:05:58,998 There you go, buddy. 1558 01:06:01,783 --> 01:06:02,915 [CHANTING] Chip. Chip. 1559 01:06:03,046 --> 01:06:03,960 Chip. 1560 01:06:04,090 --> 01:06:04,917 Chip. Chip. 1561 01:06:05,048 --> 01:06:06,440 Chip. Chip Chip. 1562 01:06:06,571 --> 01:06:07,441 Chip. Chip. 1563 01:06:07,572 --> 01:06:09,400 [laughs] 1564 01:06:34,381 --> 01:06:38,168 "Dear Chip, this isn't an easy note to write, 1565 01:06:38,298 --> 01:06:41,214 but last night it became clear to me 1566 01:06:41,345 --> 01:06:43,825 that I shouldn't be here anymore. 1567 01:06:43,956 --> 01:06:46,828 I've always feared I never had a real purpose here, 1568 01:06:46,959 --> 01:06:49,266 and now I know for sure. 1569 01:06:49,396 --> 01:06:52,704 I'm certain you will continue to be a powerful leader to everyone 1570 01:06:52,834 --> 01:06:56,099 else, but I know that I'm not worthy to receive 1571 01:06:56,229 --> 01:07:01,495 your leadership, and perhaps I'm not even worthy of this life. 1572 01:07:01,626 --> 01:07:03,628 Goodbye, William. 1573 01:07:13,159 --> 01:07:16,380 Today we lost an important man who was wise. 1574 01:07:16,510 --> 01:07:17,381 He was brilliant. 1575 01:07:17,511 --> 01:07:18,643 He was smart. 1576 01:07:18,773 --> 01:07:20,210 But perhaps his greatest attribute 1577 01:07:20,340 --> 01:07:22,473 was understanding when he was no longer needed. 1578 01:07:22,603 --> 01:07:26,303 Yes, his greatest masterstroke was 1579 01:07:26,433 --> 01:07:29,567 knowing that to stand in the way of the supernova of leadership 1580 01:07:29,697 --> 01:07:33,745 I've become would have been completely futile to this family 1581 01:07:33,875 --> 01:07:35,573 that William abandoned. 1582 01:07:35,703 --> 01:07:38,706 I promise to take us to heights that he couldn't even imagine. 1583 01:07:38,837 --> 01:07:42,754 And William, though you've now transcended and are likely 1584 01:07:42,884 --> 01:07:46,366 experiencing pleasures we can't even comprehend-- 1585 01:07:46,497 --> 01:07:49,152 the Festival of Endless Beginnings, 1586 01:07:49,282 --> 01:07:51,589 likely seated at the table of Garnatham 1587 01:07:51,719 --> 01:07:56,028 himself, gorging yourself on his fat berries and juices-- 1588 01:07:56,159 --> 01:07:58,335 we miss you. 1589 01:07:58,465 --> 01:08:01,120 One day we'll all be with you, William. 1590 01:08:01,251 --> 01:08:03,775 We'll be where you are. 1591 01:08:03,905 --> 01:08:06,430 And on that day, I will, of course, maintain my leadership 1592 01:08:06,560 --> 01:08:09,346 position over you, but you won't have a problem with it 1593 01:08:09,476 --> 01:08:10,390 this time. 1594 01:08:13,306 --> 01:08:14,699 To William. 1595 01:08:14,829 --> 01:08:15,700 To William. 1596 01:08:15,830 --> 01:08:16,701 To William. 1597 01:08:28,060 --> 01:08:30,193 [background tv noise] 1598 01:08:30,323 --> 01:08:32,673 You're not allowed in Europe but you don't remember why? 1599 01:08:32,804 --> 01:08:36,634 I think it's a family thing I did, we did, long ago. 1600 01:08:36,764 --> 01:08:38,505 Where's your from? 1601 01:08:38,636 --> 01:08:40,594 The middle of Germany. 1602 01:08:40,725 --> 01:08:41,682 Wait, go back. 1603 01:08:41,813 --> 01:08:43,075 [ominous music playing] 1604 01:08:43,206 --> 01:08:44,511 Wherein my client, William Davenport, 1605 01:08:44,642 --> 01:08:47,558 was held captive for years, forced 1606 01:08:47,688 --> 01:08:51,823 to sleep in an unheated barn by the leader of the cult, Chip 1607 01:08:51,953 --> 01:08:53,346 Harper. 1608 01:08:53,477 --> 01:08:56,567 This sick, depraved individual forced my client 1609 01:08:56,697 --> 01:08:59,831 to take part in a myriad of twisted acts, 1610 01:08:59,961 --> 01:09:05,837 including a group suicide ritual, during which my client 1611 01:09:05,967 --> 01:09:09,623 was finally able to escape, only to be tracked down 1612 01:09:09,754 --> 01:09:13,149 several months later by Mr. Harper, who, at which time, 1613 01:09:13,279 --> 01:09:17,370 threatened and forced poor Mr. Davenport to join 1614 01:09:17,501 --> 01:09:19,633 yet another suicide cult. 1615 01:09:19,764 --> 01:09:22,984 Only through cunning wit and the bravest of hearts 1616 01:09:23,115 --> 01:09:28,164 was my client able to escape this dangerous, disgusting, 1617 01:09:28,294 --> 01:09:32,951 unregulated militia and flee to safety, at which point 1618 01:09:33,081 --> 01:09:34,822 he contacted me, Don Wright. 1619 01:09:34,953 --> 01:09:37,129 At this time, we're going to open it up for questions. 1620 01:09:37,260 --> 01:09:38,957 Yes, beautiful woman in the front row? 1621 01:09:39,087 --> 01:09:39,871 How are you? 1622 01:09:40,001 --> 01:09:41,351 He's fucking lying. 1623 01:09:41,481 --> 01:09:42,961 He never spent a night in the punishment barn. 1624 01:09:43,091 --> 01:09:44,441 I knew it was too good to be true. 1625 01:09:44,571 --> 01:09:46,399 It's not. What we have is real. 1626 01:09:46,530 --> 01:09:47,705 I can clear this all up. 1627 01:09:47,835 --> 01:09:49,097 You got to believe me. 1628 01:09:49,228 --> 01:09:50,838 you guys got to believe me, too. 1629 01:09:50,969 --> 01:09:52,753 A lot of that was very concerning, man. 1630 01:09:52,884 --> 01:09:53,798 [sirens] 1631 01:09:53,928 --> 01:09:54,799 Fuck. 1632 01:09:54,929 --> 01:09:56,540 Oh, no, dude. 1633 01:09:56,670 --> 01:09:59,238 Guys, I'll explain everything, but we got to go now. 1634 01:09:59,369 --> 01:10:00,239 Guys, we got to go now. 1635 01:10:00,370 --> 01:10:01,588 We got to go now. 1636 01:10:01,719 --> 01:10:02,981 I'll buy you some time. 1637 01:10:03,111 --> 01:10:05,157 Y'all don't deserve this kind of trouble. 1638 01:10:05,288 --> 01:10:08,813 I can't get in trouble with the police. 1639 01:10:08,943 --> 01:10:10,467 You're a good woman, Dorota. 1640 01:10:10,597 --> 01:10:13,731 I'm doing this for them, Chip, not you. 1641 01:10:13,861 --> 01:10:16,212 [music playing] 1642 01:10:18,649 --> 01:10:21,521 [radio police chatter] 1643 01:10:21,652 --> 01:10:24,437 [gunshots] 1644 01:10:24,568 --> 01:10:27,440 Oh, D, what are they doing to you, baby? 1645 01:10:35,579 --> 01:10:37,145 Guys, this way. 1646 01:10:37,276 --> 01:10:39,496 Chip, was that all true? 1647 01:10:39,626 --> 01:10:41,280 Is this a suicide cult? - No. 1648 01:10:41,411 --> 01:10:42,760 William is full of shit. 1649 01:10:42,890 --> 01:10:44,762 He was the leader of the old family, not me. 1650 01:10:44,892 --> 01:10:46,111 Were you going to kill us? 1651 01:10:46,242 --> 01:10:47,591 No, of course not. 1652 01:10:47,721 --> 01:10:49,462 When the time came, I was hoping you would want 1653 01:10:49,593 --> 01:10:51,551 to kill yourselves with me. 1654 01:10:51,682 --> 01:10:53,292 I know how that sounds, but it's not death. 1655 01:10:53,423 --> 01:10:54,902 It's transcending. 1656 01:10:55,033 --> 01:10:57,818 Is that what transcendence means, killing yourself? 1657 01:10:57,949 --> 01:10:59,777 It's about so much more than that. 1658 01:10:59,907 --> 01:11:01,692 There's so much bullshit here. 1659 01:11:01,822 --> 01:11:03,476 When we transcend, that all goes away. 1660 01:11:03,607 --> 01:11:06,610 No dumb judge taking advantage of you, stealing your family. 1661 01:11:06,740 --> 01:11:08,351 No one to break your heart. 1662 01:11:08,481 --> 01:11:11,005 You're just hanging out with your best friends all the time. 1663 01:11:11,136 --> 01:11:12,833 Doesn't that sound awesome? 1664 01:11:12,964 --> 01:11:14,400 Best friends don't lie to each other 1665 01:11:14,531 --> 01:11:15,967 and they don't manipulate each other. 1666 01:11:16,097 --> 01:11:18,274 I thought we were supposed to help each other, man, 1667 01:11:18,404 --> 01:11:20,101 and make the best of this life right now. 1668 01:11:20,232 --> 01:11:21,581 We are, guys. Come on. 1669 01:11:21,712 --> 01:11:22,887 You don't get it. 1670 01:11:23,017 --> 01:11:24,541 I know it sounds a little far-fetched, 1671 01:11:24,671 --> 01:11:26,369 and I didn't want to tell you this, 1672 01:11:26,499 --> 01:11:30,938 but I know it's true because I brought William back to life. 1673 01:11:31,069 --> 01:11:32,418 [laughs] I'm serious. 1674 01:11:32,549 --> 01:11:33,419 I saw him. 1675 01:11:33,550 --> 01:11:34,942 He was dead. 1676 01:11:35,073 --> 01:11:36,814 The old group, they tried to transcend without me, 1677 01:11:36,944 --> 01:11:38,511 but they're a bunch of snakes. 1678 01:11:38,642 --> 01:11:39,686 They had hate in their hearts, so they couldn't do it right. 1679 01:11:39,817 --> 01:11:41,645 They all died. William, too. 1680 01:11:41,775 --> 01:11:43,734 They brought him back for me. 1681 01:11:43,864 --> 01:11:46,171 We were supposed to get a second chance at this. 1682 01:11:46,302 --> 01:11:49,479 I was supposed to transcend with a good family this time. 1683 01:11:51,742 --> 01:11:53,134 [music playing] 1684 01:11:53,265 --> 01:11:54,745 Guys, I think we should just go back, explain 1685 01:11:54,875 --> 01:11:56,181 to the police everything that happened, 1686 01:11:56,312 --> 01:11:57,313 and just pray for the best. 1687 01:12:00,011 --> 01:12:02,492 All the things you said is really crazy. 1688 01:12:06,147 --> 01:12:07,366 You let us down, man. 1689 01:12:16,070 --> 01:12:18,682 It's so sad how people can lie to themselves. 1690 01:12:18,812 --> 01:12:20,248 Could Chip hear himself? 1691 01:12:20,379 --> 01:12:22,250 Some people can't face reality even 1692 01:12:22,381 --> 01:12:23,687 when it slaps them in the face. 1693 01:12:23,817 --> 01:12:25,428 It's pathetic. 1694 01:12:25,558 --> 01:12:27,168 I don't understand why all these bad things keep happening 1695 01:12:27,299 --> 01:12:29,910 to me when I'm doing so good. 1696 01:12:30,041 --> 01:12:33,131 And I promised Meredith I'd come back a better man. 1697 01:12:33,261 --> 01:12:36,177 Let's hope she forgot about that one. 1698 01:12:36,308 --> 01:12:37,875 Wow. 1699 01:12:38,005 --> 01:12:40,878 I hope this doesn't come off really nasty, 1700 01:12:41,008 --> 01:12:44,795 but when it comes to delusion, Chip has nothing on you two. 1701 01:12:44,925 --> 01:12:47,711 Diane, when are you going to admit that your life is 1702 01:12:47,841 --> 01:12:50,322 a result of your own choices? 1703 01:12:50,453 --> 01:12:52,629 And, Tyler, no matter how much you 1704 01:12:52,759 --> 01:12:55,066 don't want your relationship to be over, 1705 01:12:55,196 --> 01:12:57,373 you have to face the facts. 1706 01:12:57,503 --> 01:12:59,940 She's just not that into you, dude. 1707 01:13:00,071 --> 01:13:02,987 Then again, who am I to judge? 1708 01:13:03,117 --> 01:13:05,381 When I first met you guys, I was still 1709 01:13:05,511 --> 01:13:08,384 reeling from losing my position within the ranks 1710 01:13:08,514 --> 01:13:10,777 of a top secret government program. 1711 01:13:10,908 --> 01:13:12,997 After a failed assassination attempt 1712 01:13:13,127 --> 01:13:16,783 on the Vice Premier of Morocco, I was shot four times 1713 01:13:16,914 --> 01:13:20,961 and left for dead in the Aegean Sea. 1714 01:13:21,092 --> 01:13:23,703 Thanks only to the kindness of the fishermen, 1715 01:13:23,834 --> 01:13:26,663 whose nets lifted my near lifeless body 1716 01:13:26,793 --> 01:13:30,493 from the frothy waters, did I survive. 1717 01:13:30,623 --> 01:13:33,583 I heard rumors of a false flag terrorist 1718 01:13:33,713 --> 01:13:38,588 attack being coordinated by the United States and Saudi Arabia. 1719 01:13:38,718 --> 01:13:42,505 I was hitchhiking to Wyoming, planning to execute vice 1720 01:13:42,635 --> 01:13:45,856 presidential candidate Richard Cheney, 1721 01:13:45,986 --> 01:13:50,861 who my sources indicate is the chief architect of this plot. 1722 01:13:50,991 --> 01:13:55,735 But after just a few hours with you guys, I felt so foolish. 1723 01:13:55,866 --> 01:14:01,045 I realized I've been wasting my life committing violence so I 1724 01:14:01,175 --> 01:14:03,177 could feel a sense of purpose. 1725 01:14:03,308 --> 01:14:06,877 I realized that hanging out with cool friends, that's all I 1726 01:14:07,007 --> 01:14:08,400 really need. 1727 01:14:08,531 --> 01:14:13,797 This family taught me to love again. 1728 01:14:13,927 --> 01:14:16,756 But now it seems like it's falling apart, 1729 01:14:16,887 --> 01:14:21,718 and there's nothing we can do, and it sucks. 1730 01:14:21,848 --> 01:14:23,894 Jim Smith is right, except for I do 1731 01:14:24,024 --> 01:14:26,157 think you're wrong about one thing. 1732 01:14:26,287 --> 01:14:27,637 You are wrong about the fact that we 1733 01:14:27,767 --> 01:14:29,900 can't do anything about this. 1734 01:14:30,030 --> 01:14:33,686 Chip might be all messed up in the head, but listen, 1735 01:14:33,817 --> 01:14:39,779 he's our friend, OK, and I think we got to go back for him. 1736 01:14:39,910 --> 01:14:40,867 Let's do this thing. 1737 01:14:44,088 --> 01:14:45,045 Chip! 1738 01:14:45,176 --> 01:14:47,526 Where are you, buddy? 1739 01:14:47,657 --> 01:14:50,790 Yeah, come on, man. 1740 01:14:50,921 --> 01:14:51,791 Chip? 1741 01:14:51,922 --> 01:14:53,053 Chip? 1742 01:14:53,184 --> 01:14:54,272 Chip, I'm coming for you, buddy. 1743 01:14:54,402 --> 01:14:56,317 Oh my God, Chip! 1744 01:15:00,974 --> 01:15:01,801 Chip, dude. 1745 01:15:01,932 --> 01:15:03,586 Com, On, man. I got you. 1746 01:15:03,716 --> 01:15:04,717 I got you. 1747 01:15:04,848 --> 01:15:06,110 Dude. 1748 01:15:06,240 --> 01:15:08,025 [grunts] 1749 01:15:09,635 --> 01:15:10,549 Fuck! 1750 01:15:10,680 --> 01:15:11,681 Where the fuck am I? 1751 01:15:11,811 --> 01:15:12,725 [screams] 1752 01:15:12,856 --> 01:15:13,857 We brought you back, Betty. 1753 01:15:13,987 --> 01:15:14,901 What? 1754 01:15:15,032 --> 01:15:16,207 Why? 1755 01:15:16,337 --> 01:15:17,861 I screwed you guys big time. 1756 01:15:17,991 --> 01:15:19,950 You guys sold some bogus, dude. 1757 01:15:20,080 --> 01:15:21,865 We figured you could use some help sorting out 1758 01:15:21,995 --> 01:15:23,693 the bad from the good. 1759 01:15:23,823 --> 01:15:25,390 You guys are the best. 1760 01:15:25,521 --> 01:15:27,348 When I was just dead right now, nothing fucking cool 1761 01:15:27,479 --> 01:15:28,262 happened at all. 1762 01:15:28,393 --> 01:15:30,003 It fucking sucked. 1763 01:15:30,134 --> 01:15:33,093 I didn't just grow wings and fly on the Celestial Orbit. 1764 01:15:33,224 --> 01:15:38,098 I didn't get the fucking crown jewels of Princess Namaharnomor. 1765 01:15:38,229 --> 01:15:39,752 I believed William's bullshit. 1766 01:15:39,883 --> 01:15:41,711 He fucked my head up so bad. 1767 01:15:41,841 --> 01:15:44,757 And then I was so charming and seductive when you met me, 1768 01:15:44,888 --> 01:15:47,760 I fucked your heads up bad. 1769 01:15:47,891 --> 01:15:49,762 I almost lost you guys. 1770 01:15:49,893 --> 01:15:51,982 I'm not going to let it happen again. 1771 01:15:52,112 --> 01:15:53,897 Now that you've passed my test-- 1772 01:15:54,027 --> 01:15:54,898 Chip. 1773 01:15:55,028 --> 01:15:56,639 OK, I'm sorry. 1774 01:15:56,769 --> 01:15:59,772 Now that you've saved my life, I'm very appreciative for you. 1775 01:15:59,903 --> 01:16:01,905 I'm going to repay the favor. 1776 01:16:02,035 --> 01:16:03,950 I'm going to save your lives. 1777 01:16:04,081 --> 01:16:08,128 I know how we can clear our names. 1778 01:16:08,259 --> 01:16:10,566 OK, so with that last call, the night 1779 01:16:10,696 --> 01:16:12,350 before we were all going to kill ourselves, 1780 01:16:12,480 --> 01:16:14,570 William made us do this fucked up tape. 1781 01:16:14,700 --> 01:16:16,006 OK. 1782 01:16:16,136 --> 01:16:17,790 So on this tape, that motherfucker 1783 01:16:17,921 --> 01:16:19,357 is clearly the leader. 1784 01:16:19,487 --> 01:16:20,793 He's admitting himself. 1785 01:16:20,924 --> 01:16:23,143 He wants the whole world to know. 1786 01:16:23,274 --> 01:16:24,101 Where's the tape now? 1787 01:16:28,584 --> 01:16:31,499 The important thing is William thinks I burned the tape. 1788 01:16:31,630 --> 01:16:33,589 He thinks all the evidence is gone. 1789 01:16:33,719 --> 01:16:35,025 But I didn't burn it. 1790 01:16:35,155 --> 01:16:37,114 As embarrassed as I am about it now, 1791 01:16:37,244 --> 01:16:39,682 I just couldn't bring myself to destroy those memories. 1792 01:16:39,812 --> 01:16:41,031 Now the bad news is-- - Fore! 1793 01:16:41,161 --> 01:16:42,423 Fuck. 1794 01:16:42,554 --> 01:16:44,730 You see, the problem is that tape is all the way 1795 01:16:44,861 --> 01:16:46,471 the fuck back at that first house where 1796 01:16:46,602 --> 01:16:48,647 William brainwashed me. 1797 01:16:48,778 --> 01:16:50,257 So that's, like, really far. 1798 01:16:50,388 --> 01:16:52,129 If you're dicking around, yeah, it is. 1799 01:16:52,259 --> 01:16:53,783 But if we drive straight through-- 1800 01:16:53,913 --> 01:16:56,307 no stopping for hotel breakfast, no video games, 1801 01:16:56,437 --> 01:16:59,440 no hitchhikers-- we can get there in less than a day. 1802 01:16:59,571 --> 01:17:02,792 We just need a real set of wheels. 1803 01:17:02,922 --> 01:17:03,836 Oh, I have an idea. 1804 01:17:07,144 --> 01:17:08,624 [knocks] 1805 01:17:12,192 --> 01:17:15,500 Well, well, who do we have here? 1806 01:17:15,631 --> 01:17:18,372 I was wondering if that offer for sex while your wife's away 1807 01:17:18,503 --> 01:17:19,504 still stands? 1808 01:17:19,635 --> 01:17:21,071 You're just in time, Gertrude. 1809 01:17:21,201 --> 01:17:23,203 My sister-in-law's back on solid food. 1810 01:17:23,334 --> 01:17:25,510 Means the missus will be back any day now. 1811 01:17:25,641 --> 01:17:27,294 I just have one problem. 1812 01:17:27,425 --> 01:17:29,035 I need to do it outside. 1813 01:17:29,166 --> 01:17:31,211 It's the only way that I like it. 1814 01:17:31,342 --> 01:17:33,474 It's beautiful and natural. 1815 01:17:33,605 --> 01:17:35,476 Just the right amount of nodding, you know? 1816 01:17:35,607 --> 01:17:37,478 Oh, girl, careful now. 1817 01:17:37,609 --> 01:17:39,306 If I'm boned up, you'll give me the shoot 1818 01:17:39,437 --> 01:17:41,091 right here where I stand. 1819 01:17:41,221 --> 01:17:42,440 Uh-oh. 1820 01:17:42,570 --> 01:17:44,311 Come and get me before I change my mind. 1821 01:17:46,879 --> 01:17:49,882 Good things do happen to good people. 1822 01:17:50,013 --> 01:17:51,318 [yells] 1823 01:17:51,449 --> 01:17:54,452 [music playing] 1824 01:17:56,193 --> 01:17:58,586 Hey, that's my grandmother's RV. 1825 01:17:58,717 --> 01:17:59,457 Hey. 1826 01:17:59,587 --> 01:18:01,372 Hey. 1827 01:18:01,502 --> 01:18:04,070 The gravel has scraped my penis. 1828 01:18:12,383 --> 01:18:14,733 [news music playing] 1829 01:18:16,517 --> 01:18:20,608 Behind me stands what most would call a normal-looking home 1830 01:18:20,739 --> 01:18:23,350 just outside a sleepy Midwestern town. 1831 01:18:23,481 --> 01:18:28,181 But within those walls, it was anything but normal. 1832 01:18:28,312 --> 01:18:31,184 Meet Billy Davenport, an innocent man 1833 01:18:31,315 --> 01:18:34,013 who fell under the spell of one of the world's most 1834 01:18:34,144 --> 01:18:36,450 depraved criminals. 1835 01:18:36,581 --> 01:18:39,323 It's honestly a little uncomfortable 1836 01:18:39,453 --> 01:18:41,629 being back this close to the house. 1837 01:18:41,760 --> 01:18:44,110 And why is that? 1838 01:18:44,241 --> 01:18:47,897 I can still hear Chip screaming at me. 1839 01:18:48,027 --> 01:18:49,333 But maybe that was the allure. 1840 01:18:49,463 --> 01:18:51,727 The more he pulled away, the more 1841 01:18:51,857 --> 01:18:54,251 I felt the need to prove myself because he was just 1842 01:18:54,381 --> 01:18:56,993 so charming and special. 1843 01:18:57,123 --> 01:19:00,257 Billy was talking about Chip Harper, a.k.a. 1844 01:19:00,387 --> 01:19:03,695 the Manson of the Midwest and leader of the suicide cult 1845 01:19:03,826 --> 01:19:06,132 known as The Cosmic Dynasty. 1846 01:19:09,179 --> 01:19:11,442 How did you first meet Chip Harper? 1847 01:19:11,572 --> 01:19:13,313 Well, I was very fat at the time, 1848 01:19:13,444 --> 01:19:15,881 and I was in a fast food restaurant arguing 1849 01:19:16,012 --> 01:19:17,883 with one of the workers about the amount of food 1850 01:19:18,014 --> 01:19:19,450 I'd been given. 1851 01:19:19,580 --> 01:19:22,496 I was insisting that they hadn't given me my order, 1852 01:19:22,627 --> 01:19:25,673 even though I'd already eaten all the sandwiches in question. 1853 01:19:25,804 --> 01:19:29,373 Chip saw my desperation and pounced. 1854 01:19:29,503 --> 01:19:33,986 What do you think Chip thought when he first saw you? 1855 01:19:34,117 --> 01:19:37,685 If I had to speculate, hey here's 1856 01:19:37,816 --> 01:19:41,777 a guy I can get to do all the menial, degrading tasks that I 1857 01:19:41,907 --> 01:19:44,214 am to relieve my followers of, in the hopes 1858 01:19:44,344 --> 01:19:47,304 that they'll fall more deeply in love with me. 1859 01:19:47,434 --> 01:19:50,829 If I had to guess, that's it. 1860 01:19:50,960 --> 01:19:52,918 Wait. 1861 01:19:53,049 --> 01:19:54,572 Why is that news van here? 1862 01:19:54,702 --> 01:19:55,791 What's going on? 1863 01:19:59,011 --> 01:20:00,665 Fuck, he's here. 1864 01:20:00,796 --> 01:20:03,146 That piece of shit is here, and he brought Georgeanne Jennings 1865 01:20:03,276 --> 01:20:05,017 here. 1866 01:20:05,148 --> 01:20:06,714 He's probably in there telling her a bunch of lies about us 1867 01:20:06,845 --> 01:20:08,281 right now. 1868 01:20:08,412 --> 01:20:09,848 No, hold on. 1869 01:20:09,979 --> 01:20:12,546 We're fine, because the tape's in the barn. 1870 01:20:12,677 --> 01:20:14,635 He doesn't know about the barn. 1871 01:20:14,766 --> 01:20:18,204 As long as he doesn't take her to the barn, we're golden. 1872 01:20:18,335 --> 01:20:22,992 He wanted to show me the barn, far away from the house, where 1873 01:20:23,122 --> 01:20:26,169 he was forced to sleep, often without electricity, 1874 01:20:26,299 --> 01:20:30,216 left to deal with the elements and the wildlife. 1875 01:20:30,347 --> 01:20:31,348 Fuck! 1876 01:20:31,478 --> 01:20:33,176 They're going to the barn. 1877 01:20:33,306 --> 01:20:36,048 Oh, fuck, I'm going to fucking jail forever. 1878 01:20:36,179 --> 01:20:38,572 No. 1879 01:20:38,703 --> 01:20:40,009 No. 1880 01:20:40,139 --> 01:20:41,358 I'm going to get there. 1881 01:20:41,488 --> 01:20:46,319 William, consider your ass plucked. 1882 01:20:46,450 --> 01:20:50,933 Did you ever think about leaving? 1883 01:20:51,063 --> 01:20:53,500 I was too stupid to go anywhere else. 1884 01:20:58,462 --> 01:21:00,507 And to tell you the truth, I've blocked 1885 01:21:00,638 --> 01:21:03,032 a lot of memories of this place out 1886 01:21:03,162 --> 01:21:04,816 on account of all the trauma, but I 1887 01:21:04,947 --> 01:21:07,993 will do my best to answer any questions you may have. 1888 01:21:08,124 --> 01:21:10,474 Did you ever have sex with Chip? 1889 01:21:10,604 --> 01:21:12,258 Stop! No. 1890 01:21:12,389 --> 01:21:14,695 Do not listen to a word this man says, Georgeanne Jennings. 1891 01:21:14,826 --> 01:21:17,960 He is a liar and a huge piece of dog shit. 1892 01:21:18,090 --> 01:21:20,745 Georgeanne, you should run and hide and disregard everything 1893 01:21:20,876 --> 01:21:22,138 this lunatic is saying. 1894 01:21:22,268 --> 01:21:23,748 Keep rolling. Keep rolling. 1895 01:21:23,879 --> 01:21:24,705 Keep rolling's right. 1896 01:21:24,836 --> 01:21:26,577 Keep rolling's right. 1897 01:21:26,707 --> 01:21:29,362 You're going to want to roll on this because I got it all right 1898 01:21:29,493 --> 01:21:30,798 here, Georgeanne. 1899 01:21:30,929 --> 01:21:33,192 I have-- in this tape, I will expose this man 1900 01:21:33,323 --> 01:21:36,543 for the snake he really is and clear my good name. 1901 01:21:36,674 --> 01:21:38,894 It's probably a tape of him showing you 1902 01:21:39,024 --> 01:21:41,157 his penis, and once you see that, you can't unsee it, 1903 01:21:41,287 --> 01:21:42,201 and that's how-- 1904 01:21:42,332 --> 01:21:43,463 It's not my cock. 1905 01:21:43,594 --> 01:21:44,508 [laughs] 1906 01:21:44,638 --> 01:21:46,118 Your time has come, William. 1907 01:21:51,863 --> 01:21:53,778 [music playing] 1908 01:21:58,826 --> 01:22:00,437 Georgeanne, it's going to work, I promise. 1909 01:22:00,567 --> 01:22:02,091 He's stalling, Georgeanne. 1910 01:22:02,221 --> 01:22:03,657 We should leave now while we still have the chance. 1911 01:22:03,788 --> 01:22:05,398 Shut the fuck up, William. 1912 01:22:05,529 --> 01:22:08,358 Mr. Harper, if you don't have anything you can show us, 1913 01:22:08,488 --> 01:22:11,187 I'll have no choice but to call the authorities. 1914 01:22:11,317 --> 01:22:12,579 Georgeanne, it's going to work. 1915 01:22:12,710 --> 01:22:13,711 I know it is. 1916 01:22:19,978 --> 01:22:20,805 Oh. 1917 01:22:20,936 --> 01:22:22,720 [laughs] 1918 01:22:22,850 --> 01:22:24,069 Yes. Yes. 1919 01:22:24,200 --> 01:22:25,027 Look at this. 1920 01:22:25,157 --> 01:22:26,419 This doesn't prove anything. 1921 01:22:26,550 --> 01:22:28,508 That looks like CGI to me, a video game, 1922 01:22:28,639 --> 01:22:29,901 or something like that. 1923 01:22:30,032 --> 01:22:32,817 My name is William Davenport and I 1924 01:22:32,948 --> 01:22:38,083 am the father, shepherd, and spiritual leader of The Cosmic 1925 01:22:38,214 --> 01:22:39,780 Dynasty. 1926 01:22:39,911 --> 01:22:42,609 If you are watching this tape, Georgeanne, 1927 01:22:42,740 --> 01:22:45,830 we have transcended successfully and it 1928 01:22:45,961 --> 01:22:49,790 is your job to spread our message to the unfortunate 1929 01:22:49,921 --> 01:22:50,791 masses. 1930 01:22:50,922 --> 01:22:52,880 Jesus Christ. 1931 01:22:53,011 --> 01:22:55,405 Well, that's obviously a joke. 1932 01:22:55,535 --> 01:22:56,710 The whole thing is a prank. 1933 01:22:56,841 --> 01:22:57,885 Why isn't everybody laughing? 1934 01:22:58,016 --> 01:22:59,322 It's time for laughing now. 1935 01:22:59,452 --> 01:23:00,584 [crazy laughter] 1936 01:23:00,714 --> 01:23:02,020 Whoa. 1937 01:23:02,151 --> 01:23:03,413 What the fuck, dude? Chill out. 1938 01:23:03,543 --> 01:23:04,457 Calm down. 1939 01:23:04,588 --> 01:23:05,763 You calm down. 1940 01:23:05,893 --> 01:23:07,025 Unhand Georgeanne Jennings right now. 1941 01:23:07,156 --> 01:23:08,984 Oh, big man. Big man. 1942 01:23:09,114 --> 01:23:10,637 He's trying to impress you, Georgeanne. 1943 01:23:10,768 --> 01:23:13,249 But she's not impressed because you're a fool. 1944 01:23:13,379 --> 01:23:15,729 Georgeanne, did you know that Chip here 1945 01:23:15,860 --> 01:23:19,733 thought I died and magically came back to life just for him? 1946 01:23:19,864 --> 01:23:21,692 [coughs] 1947 01:23:26,262 --> 01:23:28,655 I didn't drink that poison, you stupid fuck. 1948 01:23:28,786 --> 01:23:29,961 You know what, dude? 1949 01:23:30,092 --> 01:23:31,354 That little comment would have really 1950 01:23:31,484 --> 01:23:33,573 hurt the old me because I thought you rocked, 1951 01:23:33,704 --> 01:23:35,793 but it turns out you fucking suck. 1952 01:23:35,923 --> 01:23:37,664 Yeah, I feel sorry for you, honestly. 1953 01:23:37,795 --> 01:23:39,057 Your vibes are fucked. 1954 01:23:39,188 --> 01:23:40,493 You got a bad attitude. 1955 01:23:40,624 --> 01:23:42,147 And you're a terrible hang. 1956 01:23:42,278 --> 01:23:43,322 Always were. 1957 01:23:43,453 --> 01:23:44,323 Bullshit. 1958 01:23:44,454 --> 01:23:45,455 People love me. 1959 01:23:45,585 --> 01:23:46,586 Not me. 1960 01:23:46,717 --> 01:23:47,892 I think you're a loser. 1961 01:23:48,023 --> 01:23:49,502 Yeah, you think you're all that, 1962 01:23:49,633 --> 01:23:51,374 but you're actually a total scrub. 1963 01:23:51,504 --> 01:23:54,464 I still like you, but not as much. 1964 01:23:54,594 --> 01:23:55,813 Who cares? 1965 01:23:55,943 --> 01:23:57,119 Give me that fucking tape. 1966 01:23:57,249 --> 01:23:59,034 OK, man, just don't do anything crazy. 1967 01:23:59,164 --> 01:24:00,470 Get on your knees. Get on your knees. 1968 01:24:00,600 --> 01:24:01,514 Do what he says. 1969 01:24:01,645 --> 01:24:02,602 Everybody on your knees. 1970 01:24:05,170 --> 01:24:06,650 - Let Georgeanne go. - OK. 1971 01:24:06,780 --> 01:24:07,738 OK. OK. 1972 01:24:10,610 --> 01:24:13,309 I should have let you drink that fucking poison, fucking idiot. 1973 01:24:16,486 --> 01:24:18,488 [screams] 1974 01:24:21,491 --> 01:24:22,970 [mumbling] 1975 01:24:30,021 --> 01:24:31,327 [laughs] 1976 01:24:31,457 --> 01:24:33,416 You got raccoon trapped, bitch. 1977 01:24:33,546 --> 01:24:34,765 You're going to fucking die. 1978 01:24:38,160 --> 01:24:40,423 [laughs] 1979 01:24:40,553 --> 01:24:43,078 I love when my enemies perish. 1980 01:24:43,208 --> 01:24:45,776 He's probably dead, you guys. 1981 01:24:45,906 --> 01:24:49,997 Chip Harper landed on his feet after that fateful day. 1982 01:24:50,128 --> 01:24:53,000 Once spending half a decade under the spell of William 1983 01:24:53,131 --> 01:24:58,528 Davenport, Harper is now an in-demand motivational speaker. 1984 01:24:58,658 --> 01:25:01,487 Today we kill our Williams, and today you're 1985 01:25:01,618 --> 01:25:05,187 all going to become the best versions of yourselves possible. 1986 01:25:05,317 --> 01:25:07,754 [applause] 1987 01:25:12,237 --> 01:25:15,153 Though his wife is currently serving 25 years 1988 01:25:15,284 --> 01:25:18,635 to life in prison for the murder of four police officers, 1989 01:25:18,765 --> 01:25:23,422 these two lovebirds are expecting a beautiful baby girl. 1990 01:25:23,553 --> 01:25:25,990 You know, it wasn't easy, Georgeanne. 1991 01:25:26,121 --> 01:25:29,124 At first, we thought I'd have to cover my frozen seed 1992 01:25:29,254 --> 01:25:31,169 in chocolate and sneak it into the facility 1993 01:25:31,300 --> 01:25:32,649 with a candy bar wrapper. 1994 01:25:32,779 --> 01:25:34,520 Eventually, we were granted conjugal visits, 1995 01:25:34,651 --> 01:25:36,261 but trying to make love to your wife 1996 01:25:36,392 --> 01:25:39,917 in a cold concrete cell, all the other inmates hooting 1997 01:25:40,047 --> 01:25:40,961 and hollering. 1998 01:25:41,092 --> 01:25:42,659 They can smell my pheromones. 1999 01:25:42,789 --> 01:25:44,661 I suppose it comes with the territory of being an alpha 2000 01:25:44,791 --> 01:25:47,794 male, but it's not easy on the erection, Georgeanne, 2001 01:25:47,925 --> 01:25:49,492 I'll be honest with you. 2002 01:25:49,622 --> 01:25:53,757 Luckily, I was able to bust soft and our little miracle 2003 01:25:53,887 --> 01:25:55,715 is on the way any day now. 2004 01:25:55,846 --> 01:25:57,630 Oh, precious. 2005 01:25:57,761 --> 01:26:01,025 And even though your immediate family was recently 2006 01:26:01,156 --> 01:26:03,158 killed in a gravel spill, it seems 2007 01:26:03,288 --> 01:26:05,943 like you've managed to persevere and create 2008 01:26:06,073 --> 01:26:07,771 kind of a new family of sorts. 2009 01:26:07,901 --> 01:26:09,642 You know, what can I say, Georgeanne? 2010 01:26:09,773 --> 01:26:11,209 I'm blessed. 2011 01:26:11,340 --> 01:26:13,255 But as difficult as this ordeal was, 2012 01:26:13,385 --> 01:26:16,345 I met the best pals of my entire life through this thing. 2013 01:26:16,475 --> 01:26:18,303 That's right. 2014 01:26:18,434 --> 01:26:19,565 [chatter] 2015 01:26:25,092 --> 01:26:26,311 Mommy. 2016 01:26:26,442 --> 01:26:29,793 [laughter] 2017 01:26:29,923 --> 01:26:30,794 Thank you. 2018 01:26:30,924 --> 01:26:31,838 Thank you. 2019 01:26:31,969 --> 01:26:32,796 Thank you. 2020 01:26:32,926 --> 01:26:34,450 Thank you. 2021 01:26:34,580 --> 01:26:37,670 Tyler, I think it's safe to say that everybody that 2022 01:26:37,801 --> 01:26:39,672 lived through this situation, we're 2023 01:26:39,803 --> 01:26:43,633 all the absolute best versions of ourselves possible now. 2024 01:26:43,763 --> 01:26:48,290 As for William Davenport, after 36 hours of surgery, 2025 01:26:48,420 --> 01:26:52,990 they managed to remove the sword from his head and save his life. 2026 01:26:53,120 --> 01:26:56,472 But now he's a shit for brains, the type that 2027 01:26:56,602 --> 01:26:58,256 laughs when a train goes by. 2028 01:26:58,387 --> 01:26:59,605 [music playing] 2029 01:26:59,736 --> 01:27:03,957 [SINGING] Put aside your sad, unhappy endings. 2030 01:27:05,220 --> 01:27:07,570 Turn away from the world. 2031 01:27:07,700 --> 01:27:11,791 It's gone and turned its back on you. 2032 01:27:11,922 --> 01:27:15,578 Who knows what tomorrow is beginning? 2033 01:27:18,407 --> 01:27:24,151 All I really know is that I want to be with you. 2034 01:27:24,282 --> 01:27:34,814 For all we'll ever have may be what we share tonight. 2035 01:27:36,773 --> 01:27:47,349 The future's promised to no one, so stay with me in paradise. 2036 01:27:50,352 --> 01:27:55,226 Time is like a river flowing, winding down 2037 01:27:55,357 --> 01:28:02,494 through all our memories, making islands 2038 01:28:02,625 --> 01:28:06,585 of the happiness we've known. 2039 01:28:06,716 --> 01:28:12,678 Down to the sea of life and loving, 2040 01:28:12,809 --> 01:28:18,771 watering our days and all the seeds that we have shown. 2041 01:28:18,902 --> 01:28:27,911 For all we'll ever have may be what we share tonight. 2042 01:28:30,957 --> 01:28:44,144 The future's promised to no one, so stay with me in paradise. 2043 01:28:44,275 --> 01:28:54,894 Yes, all we'll ever have may be what we share tonight. 2044 01:28:58,333 --> 01:29:08,299 The future's promised to no one, so stay with me in paradise. 2045 01:29:09,561 --> 01:29:15,480 And all we'll ever have...