1
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,361
- Hey, Kelly.
- Kelly?
2
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:31,614
Who is this Kelly of which you speak?
3
00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:35,702
For I am Sorisana,
the undying mistress of light.
4
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,165
Of course. My apologies, Lady Sorisana.
5
00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:44,377
Greetings, Devon. Happy raid anniversary.
6
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:46,839
Or perhaps, raid-iversary, ah?
7
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:48,714
I like that.
8
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,716
Can you believe
we've been playing for four years?
9
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:55,931
I cannot. It seems like only yesterday
we were wee babes in battle.
10
00:00:58,350 --> 00:00:59,350
Okay.
11
00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:02,020
Don't worry, y'all. The MVP has arrived.
12
00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:07,316
Thank goodness, Rory, my queen.
13
00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:08,985
You're so extra.
14
00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:12,781
- Happy raid anniversary, bitches.
- Raid-iversary.
15
00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:15,200
Like it. Love it. Living it.
16
00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,828
Wow. Digging the new gear, Dev.
17
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,745
Thanks. I did some grinding for XP.
18
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:21,873
Wanted to look a little special
for the occasion.
19
00:01:21,874 --> 00:01:23,166
You simp.
20
00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:25,543
Hey, y'all. Sorry I'm late.
21
00:01:25,544 --> 00:01:28,088
I got another nosebleed.
It went all over my keyboard.
22
00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:33,801
Seth, the keyboard I got you
for your birthday?
23
00:01:33,802 --> 00:01:36,012
It's okay. My keys are a little sticky,
24
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,930
so my ranged attacks
might not be great, but--
25
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,474
I mean,
your ranged attacks are always shit.
26
00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:43,269
Damn, Seth.
Your own girlfriend dunking on you, man.
27
00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:44,730
Yep. Gotta love her.
28
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,651
What up, sluts?
29
00:01:53,030 --> 00:01:55,031
You ready to clit-kick this boss or what?
30
00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:56,408
What up?
31
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:59,410
- Happy raid-iversary, Freddie.
- Raid-iversary?
32
00:01:59,411 --> 00:02:00,536
That's fucking lame.
33
00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:02,371
- What? You're fucking lame.
- Excu-- Boo!
34
00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:03,915
Yeah. You love me.
35
00:02:03,916 --> 00:02:06,125
All right, whatever.
Let's just get this shit started.
36
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,460
We cannot.
For one of our number is missing.
37
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:09,545
Dev, where's your brother?
38
00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:11,547
I don't know.
He'll show up when he shows up.
39
00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:14,509
Anyway. Apparently, this boss is hard,
but his attacks are pretty predictable.
40
00:02:14,510 --> 00:02:17,220
So, make sure you have that gear
from our last raid equipped.
41
00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:18,804
Gotta find them. It's been a minute.
42
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,431
We'll start ranged
and then we'll flank him
43
00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:23,392
- before going in for the kill shot. Okay?
- Yes, let's go already.
44
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:24,936
- My Adderall's kicking in.
- Can't.
45
00:02:24,937 --> 00:02:27,688
- We gotta do the dance first.
- No!
46
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:29,065
Sorry, man. Have to.
47
00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:32,360
Team Dab Queef has never failed a raid
when we did the good-luck dance.
48
00:02:32,361 --> 00:02:33,528
Bullshit.
49
00:02:33,529 --> 00:02:35,488
We've done the stupid dance
for the last four years
50
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,031
and we get our asses kicked
every single time.
51
00:02:37,032 --> 00:02:39,534
Come on, Freddie. Do the dance.
52
00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:42,578
- Come on, Freddie. Freddie.
- Do it! Do it! Do it!
53
00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:44,038
Come on. It's our raid-iversary.
54
00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:45,748
- Dance. Just do it.
- Dance, dance.
55
00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:47,542
- Come on.
- All right. Jesus Christ.
56
00:02:47,543 --> 00:02:53,507
Dab Queef! Dab Queef! Dab Queef!
Dab Queef! Dab Queef! Dab Queef!
57
00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:57,678
Whatever.
58
00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:00,472
What up, sluts?
59
00:03:01,098 --> 00:03:02,682
Yeah!
60
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,225
- Hey, Ben.
- Young Benjamin!
61
00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:06,727
Did I miss the queef dance?
I wanna do the dance.
62
00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:07,645
Dab Queef...
63
00:03:07,646 --> 00:03:09,480
Hey, Ben. You're getting
too close to the cave, buddy.
64
00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:12,316
Ben, no. Ben.
65
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:14,194
Ben! Ben, you're gonna trigger the...
66
00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:20,742
...fight.
67
00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:37,383
{\an8}- This thing's massive.
- So disgusting.
68
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:39,051
{\an8}Freddie, fall back.
You're getting pummeled.
69
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,678
{\an8}- Shit dick!
- What happened, Freddie?
70
00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:43,097
{\an8}Vagina itching again?
I'm sure there's a cream for it.
71
00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:45,016
{\an8}Eat my ass. Gobble it up.
72
00:03:45,017 --> 00:03:47,727
{\an8}Unwashed ass
is hardly a meal fit for a queen!
73
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,520
{\an8}How about talk
like a normal person, Kelly?
74
00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:51,772
{\an8}Relax, man. Just wash your ass
and maybe someone will eat it.
75
00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:53,566
{\an8}I don't want anyone
to eat my ass!
76
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:57,028
{\an8}Shit. Guys, guys!
Focus up. Everyone get behind me.
77
00:03:57,029 --> 00:03:58,613
{\an8}- Rory, cast blinding shot.
- Okay.
78
00:03:58,614 --> 00:04:00,489
{\an8}Sorisana,
hit him with an icicle blast.
79
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:01,949
{\an8}- Yes, sire.
- Freddie, use inferno.
80
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,910
{\an8}- Got you.
- Seth, get ready. Cloak a knife.
81
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:05,036
{\an8}- Yeah.
- Ben.
82
00:04:05,037 --> 00:04:06,580
{\an8}Ben, what are you doing?
83
00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:08,206
{\an8}I farted.
84
00:04:08,207 --> 00:04:09,540
{\an8}Ben. Shit.
85
00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:10,958
{\an8}Is he gonna doom us all? Okay.
86
00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:13,169
{\an8}We're just gonna burn
our max abilities on my mark.
87
00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:14,253
{\an8}- Ready?
- Yes.
88
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:17,257
{\an8}- Go!
- Team Dab Queef!
89
00:04:18,050 --> 00:04:18,884
{\an8}What is this?
90
00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:22,513
{\an8}What the fuck happened?
91
00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:26,724
{\an8}What? Are you serious? I need a heal.
92
00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:28,184
{\an8}- What?
- Seth?
93
00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:29,602
{\an8}Fuck your girlfriend. Kill the thing.
94
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:32,021
{\an8}- Seth, come heal me.
- I'm turned around. I don't know.
95
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:33,731
{\an8}- What are you doing?
- Damn it.
96
00:04:33,732 --> 00:04:36,025
{\an8}What did I fucking tell you,
whipping boy?
97
00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:38,653
{\an8}Okay. He's almost dead.
Everyone, with me.
98
00:04:38,654 --> 00:04:40,739
{\an8}We can still win this. Ready?
99
00:04:41,573 --> 00:04:42,491
{\an8}Go!
100
00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:45,118
{\an8}Guys, I only got hit once.
I need a healer.
101
00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:46,578
{\an8}We got him!
102
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:08,392
I found out how to do a double fart.
It looks like a butt.
103
00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:11,143
I don't get it.
What would cause the game to freak out?
104
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,812
I bet you it's Rory and Seth's fault.
105
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:15,439
They're probably at Seth's place
sharing his shitty Wi-Fi
106
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,942
so they can finger blast each other
between boss fights.
107
00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:19,318
- You're disgusting.
- What the hell?
108
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:22,864
What's finger blasting?
Is that a spell? Teach me to finger blast!
109
00:05:22,865 --> 00:05:25,533
Freddie, stop saying stuff
like that around my little brother.
110
00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:27,869
It's fine. It was your mom
who taught me how to finger blast.
111
00:05:27,870 --> 00:05:29,704
- Mom knows Freddie?
- Yes.
112
00:05:29,705 --> 00:05:31,330
The game glitched for all of us, right?
113
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:34,709
There's something wrong with the game,
not our Internet connections. Idiot.
114
00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:36,169
Is someone jealous?
115
00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:38,629
Sorry I'm a boy genius
and got a job out of high school
116
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,673
while you turds have to rack up debt
at college.
117
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:43,009
Whatever. Can someone check Reddit?
118
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:45,428
See if anyone else
is having this problem that--
119
00:05:45,429 --> 00:05:48,472
I'll do it like I do
everything around here. Brb.
120
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:50,726
He's afk. Someone mess with him.
121
00:05:54,730 --> 00:05:55,938
Get him!
122
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:59,483
Do you guys remember when he left
for, like, 30 minutes to take a shit
123
00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:01,527
and we pushed him into a chasm?
124
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:03,404
Yes. He was so pissed.
125
00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:05,364
- I remember that.
- No, you don't.
126
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,449
That was four years ago.
127
00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:08,284
You were like three
when we started playing.
128
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:11,413
And, that reminds me,
I got everyone raid-iversary gifts.
129
00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:13,873
Happy raid-iversary.
130
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,750
- My heart.
- I'm glad I came.
131
00:06:15,751 --> 00:06:18,127
Yeah, me too.
It's been hard to track you guys down.
132
00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:20,796
It feels like you and Rory are never free
at the same time anymore.
133
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:23,257
- Yeah. Sorry.
- Yeah, you know, just been busy.
134
00:06:23,258 --> 00:06:25,176
I've missed getting to hang out
with you guys in person.
135
00:06:25,177 --> 00:06:28,179
I too miss the proximity of your flesh.
136
00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:31,432
Babe, you gotta stop talking
about people's flesh. It's creepy.
137
00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:34,018
Oh, yes. Your musky essence?
138
00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:35,646
- No.
- Where's my present?
139
00:06:36,772 --> 00:06:39,316
Your present is
you can keep farting on Freddie.
140
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,817
All right, I'm back, bitches.
141
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:43,904
What the fuck are you doing?
You little prick.
142
00:06:45,239 --> 00:06:46,113
Look, assholes,
143
00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:49,116
the coozes over at MQ haven't patched
the servers in forever,
144
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:52,119
so now it's lagging whenever there's
a raiding party of more than five people.
145
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:53,371
What does that mean?
146
00:06:53,372 --> 00:06:56,749
Okay. So, it means,
for the game to work, one of us has to go.
147
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:59,085
Okay, smart-ass.
Does that mean that, like,
148
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:00,920
someone has to get kicked out
of the group?
149
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:04,632
Yes. Are you all fucking illiterate
or is it, like, a couple thing or what?
150
00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:06,467
- Yes, that's what I'm saying.
- That's not happening.
151
00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:08,511
Yeah. Maybe we can
just reschedule or something.
152
00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:11,722
No, we can't reschedule.
This is our raid-iversary.
153
00:07:11,723 --> 00:07:14,642
I had to beg you guys for weeks
to clear your schedules for this.
154
00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:16,102
Come on, we gotta do it tonight.
155
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:19,772
Okay. Then you
have to kick someone out... now.
156
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:20,899
Shit.
157
00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:30,157
- That can't be the only solution.
- Sorry, man.
158
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:32,159
You want to finish the raid,
someone's gotta go.
159
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:35,621
- And my vote's on teabagger over there.
- I can't kick him, dude.
160
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,832
I'm babysitting. If he's not playing,
he's gonna get into shit.
161
00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:39,876
Why are you the nanny?
Your mom too busy getting finger blasted?
162
00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:41,586
What is it with you and finger blasting?
163
00:07:41,587 --> 00:07:43,004
- I like it.
- Finger blast!
164
00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:44,463
I'm just watching him tonight.
165
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:49,010
Mom says it's his way of paying rent
since he's gonna keep living here with me.
166
00:07:49,011 --> 00:07:52,096
Brothers and roommates,
roommates and brothers,
167
00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:54,098
- playing games together forever...
- Ben! I swear to God.
168
00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:56,184
You're living at home?
I thought you were going to ASU.
169
00:07:56,185 --> 00:07:58,978
Yeah, I missed
the application deadline. So...
170
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,855
Oh, Devon. My condolences.
171
00:08:00,856 --> 00:08:03,941
- Will you reapply or...
- I'm figuring it out.
172
00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:06,027
We need to focus.
What are we gonna do about the glitch?
173
00:08:06,028 --> 00:08:07,863
I mean, we should obviously kick Freddie.
174
00:08:08,530 --> 00:08:10,781
Good luck. I'm the best player
on this piece of shit team.
175
00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:13,409
Just kick Rory. She's been half-assing it
for months anyway.
176
00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:15,578
Choke on your RealDoll's fat clit.
177
00:08:15,579 --> 00:08:17,288
I choked on a LEGO man head one time.
178
00:08:17,289 --> 00:08:19,957
We're not kicking Rory.
Besides, we'd lose Seth too.
179
00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:22,001
He wouldn't want to keep playing
if we forced out his girlfriend.
180
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:26,297
And you would be thrice bereft.
If Rory leaves, so too shall I.
181
00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:30,551
For we are soul-bonded in sisterhood,
our connection unbreakable.
182
00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:32,094
- Like the steel of--
- Oh, my God!
183
00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:34,721
Just lose Ren Faire over here.
Everyone hears what I'm hearing, right?
184
00:08:34,722 --> 00:08:36,139
I feel fucking insane.
185
00:08:36,140 --> 00:08:38,058
- The fuck?
- Guys. Stop it.
186
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:40,979
No one's leaving.
We're finishing this raid together.
187
00:08:41,647 --> 00:08:42,940
I've got a plan.
188
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,993
Once Rory, Sorisana and Seth
finish softening up the enemies,
189
00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:57,537
I'll send Ben and Freddie in, all right?
190
00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:59,330
As long as all of us aren't in there
at the same time,
191
00:08:59,331 --> 00:09:00,706
it shouldn't trigger the glitch. Got it?
192
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,209
- Yeah. Got it.
- Yeah.
193
00:09:03,502 --> 00:09:05,920
Ben. Ben, what the hell are you doing?
194
00:09:05,921 --> 00:09:07,797
Doing this dance Freddie taught me.
195
00:09:07,798 --> 00:09:09,257
Stop that. I need you to focus.
196
00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:10,967
- I'm just having fun.
- Go over there
197
00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:12,885
and practice your actual attacks. Okay?
198
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,136
Okay.
199
00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:17,057
- Oh, yeah. What, what?
- Hey, Freddie.
200
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:20,561
Did you ever hear back
from your boss about my résumé?
201
00:09:22,855 --> 00:09:23,980
Yeah.
202
00:09:23,981 --> 00:09:26,275
They rejected it.
203
00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:29,236
Not enough relevant experience
or something.
204
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,905
- Okay.
- Sorry, man.
205
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:35,909
Yeah, that's okay. Yeah, I get it. I--
206
00:09:37,953 --> 00:09:39,328
- Squad's back.
- Shovel, shovel!
207
00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:40,788
Better get in there.
208
00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:42,665
- Come on, Ben.
- Let's go!
209
00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:45,918
Okay. Well, it didn't glitch,
but we didn't do shit to those demons.
210
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,712
Mostly 'cause Seth was ignoring
all my shot-calling.
211
00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:49,589
Well, I'm sorry.
I thought they were bad calls.
212
00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:53,551
You would know all about
bad calls, now, wouldn't you, knave?
213
00:09:53,552 --> 00:09:56,179
I see right through you, Seth.
214
00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:59,140
Son of Renée, the overbearing,
and Tim, the absent.
215
00:09:59,141 --> 00:10:00,433
- Kelly--
- Sorisana!
216
00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:02,227
Sorisana, just please don't.
217
00:10:03,187 --> 00:10:04,478
What's going on?
218
00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:06,105
I don't know. Why don't you ask Seth?
219
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,482
Unless the absence
of a heart has rendered him mute.
220
00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:10,110
You know what, Kelly?
221
00:10:10,736 --> 00:10:12,321
Guys, please.
222
00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:14,656
Seth and I broke up, Dev.
223
00:10:15,866 --> 00:10:19,827
What? Just now?
What the hell happened in there?
224
00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:22,247
No, it happened
right after the last raid we did.
225
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,248
I knew it.
226
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:26,167
I knew if you started dating
and you broke up
227
00:10:26,168 --> 00:10:28,419
that it would fuck up the guild
and people would stop playing--
228
00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:29,837
This is why we didn't tell you, man.
229
00:10:29,838 --> 00:10:31,547
You're so intense about this game.
230
00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:34,133
We're both here now.
So, can you just chill?
231
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:36,969
I'm chill. I just can't believe
this is how we're all finding out.
232
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:41,098
Well, I, the most trusted
of her inner sanctum, knew.
233
00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:46,729
And soon we shall share a sanctum
at UC Santa Cruz. Go, Banana Slugs!
234
00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:49,066
Roomies and besties, besties and roomies.
235
00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,025
Read the room, Kelly.
236
00:10:51,026 --> 00:10:52,610
You good, Dev?
237
00:10:52,611 --> 00:10:55,447
Yeah, I'm fine.
If you guys are fine, I'm fine.
238
00:10:56,198 --> 00:10:57,324
Let's just keep playing.
239
00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:00,576
Glorious.
240
00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:03,579
Well, it didn't glitch
and I cleared the chamber by myself.
241
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,831
He spent the whole time
teabagging skeletons, dude.
242
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:08,876
I was trying to finger blast,
but no one would teach me.
243
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:11,671
We got through this battle,
but this plan is sketchy.
244
00:11:11,672 --> 00:11:13,840
The enemies are only gonna get harder
even without the glitch.
245
00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:15,591
And if Finger Blast McGee
keeps dicking around,
246
00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:18,387
- it could fuck up the whole raid.
- All right, I'll handle it.
247
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:22,139
Look, Ben, I don't think you understand
how important this is, okay?
248
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:24,100
We need to focus. We gotta beat this raid.
249
00:11:24,101 --> 00:11:26,853
I'm focused. I have to be to do the farts.
250
00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:29,355
Right. But let's take that energy
251
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:31,149
and work on your actual attacks.
252
00:11:31,775 --> 00:11:34,695
Charge up your decisive strike, but don't
release it until I tell you. All right?
253
00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:37,114
And now!
254
00:11:39,408 --> 00:11:41,534
Great. I'm proud of you, buddy.
That was awesome.
255
00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:42,995
You're a good teacher, Devon.
256
00:11:43,579 --> 00:11:44,453
Well, thanks.
257
00:11:44,454 --> 00:11:47,039
Yeah. When we first started,
I had to teach everyone how to play.
258
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,834
So, I guess I kinda got good at it.
259
00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:52,462
- It's fun playing with you sluts.
- Ben. Stop saying--
260
00:11:52,963 --> 00:11:54,839
You know what? Never mind.
Let's get in there, slut.
261
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,591
Yeah, slut brothers!
262
00:11:56,592 --> 00:11:58,260
Fucking Freddie.
263
00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:03,097
Listen up, everyone.
264
00:12:03,098 --> 00:12:05,016
We're gonna tackle this boss
one person at a time.
265
00:12:05,017 --> 00:12:08,144
Damage dealers first, with support
in the back for healing and buffs.
266
00:12:08,145 --> 00:12:10,062
If we stay sharp and we stick to the plan,
267
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,732
we should be able to take down this boss
without triggering the glitch.
268
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:15,318
We got this. Team Dab Queef on three.
269
00:12:15,319 --> 00:12:17,070
One, two, three.
270
00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:18,739
Team Dab Queef!
271
00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:22,409
Shit. Goddamn it.
272
00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:24,703
{\an8}- Ben.
- Let's go!
273
00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:27,497
{\an8}Good job, Ben.
274
00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:29,081
{\an8}Fuck it. Pairs.
275
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:31,168
{\an8}Rory and Sorisana, focus up, guys.
276
00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:33,169
{\an8}Move!
277
00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:34,338
{\an8}Wait, wait, wait--
278
00:12:35,506 --> 00:12:37,215
- Zounds! Vanquished!
- Shit!
279
00:12:37,216 --> 00:12:38,425
{\an8}Seth. Freddie.
280
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:39,927
{\an8}Seth, turn!
281
00:12:40,511 --> 00:12:41,844
- Damn it!
- Dumbass!
282
00:12:41,845 --> 00:12:43,180
{\an8}Rory and Ben.
283
00:12:45,891 --> 00:12:47,643
{\an8}Fuck!
284
00:12:51,563 --> 00:12:54,273
Frick! I've gotta do something.
These sluts are counting on me.
285
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,817
Maybe if I try a different weapon...
286
00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:07,037
Finger blast!
287
00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:09,664
{\an8}Okay. Look, Ben is still respawning.
288
00:13:09,665 --> 00:13:12,251
{\an8}Let's all try to rush the Gorgon
before he gets back in.
289
00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:14,837
{\an8}Team Dab Queef!
290
00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:18,840
{\an8}That's great. Guys, it's working.
291
00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:20,967
{\an8}- No, no, no. Keep going.
- Finger blast!
292
00:13:20,968 --> 00:13:22,760
{\an8}Wait, Ben. No!
293
00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:24,428
{\an8}- What the hell?
- Are you serious?
294
00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:26,849
{\an8}What did you-- Oh, my God!
295
00:13:28,684 --> 00:13:30,476
Goddamn it, Ben. What was that?
296
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:32,270
Figured out how to finger blast.
297
00:13:32,271 --> 00:13:33,855
Screw it. That's it. I'm kicking him out.
298
00:13:33,856 --> 00:13:35,064
My mom can yell at me later.
299
00:13:35,065 --> 00:13:37,525
Come on, Dev. He's a kid.
He doesn't know any better.
300
00:13:37,526 --> 00:13:39,485
He's fucking up our game.
301
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,988
Someone has to go,
or the game is gonna keep glitching.
302
00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:44,824
- It's gotta be him.
- Look, if it makes things easier,
303
00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:47,618
I can go. I have something
I need to get to anyway.
304
00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:49,036
What plans could you possibly have?
305
00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:51,205
You're the most boring fucking person
in the world, Seth.
306
00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:53,583
- Shut up, Freddie.
- Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.
307
00:13:53,584 --> 00:13:54,667
I'm sure you're busy.
308
00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:57,336
You probably got historically accurate
civil war mini figs to paint,
309
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:59,338
or like a home and garden magazine
to jack off to.
310
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:00,673
I'm meeting my girlfriend.
311
00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:02,759
- Okay.
- Your what?
312
00:14:03,844 --> 00:14:05,596
You're dating someone?
313
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,930
You rake.
314
00:14:07,931 --> 00:14:09,432
I'm dating Kristen Davis.
315
00:14:09,433 --> 00:14:11,518
Hold on. Piss-stain Davis?
316
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:13,311
You're dating Piss-stain Davis?
317
00:14:13,312 --> 00:14:14,896
Okay. That was in second grade.
318
00:14:14,897 --> 00:14:17,815
And she didn't piss herself.
She sat on her water bottle.
319
00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:18,900
Guys.
320
00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:21,611
- Then why did it smell like piss, bro?
- Guys, stop it. Okay?
321
00:14:21,612 --> 00:14:23,529
None of you are leaving. Ben is leaving.
322
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,114
Hey, are you sure, Dev?
323
00:14:25,115 --> 00:14:28,826
Yeah, it's fine.
Just give me a second to talk to him.
324
00:14:28,827 --> 00:14:31,121
Okay. We'll go afk.
325
00:14:35,292 --> 00:14:37,335
Look, Ben, you gotta go.
326
00:14:37,336 --> 00:14:39,463
I don't actually have to go.
I'm just farting.
327
00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:42,299
No, I mean,
328
00:14:43,759 --> 00:14:45,343
I need you to leave the game.
329
00:14:45,344 --> 00:14:46,595
What do you mean?
330
00:14:47,513 --> 00:14:49,597
You heard me, buddy. You gotta log off.
331
00:14:49,598 --> 00:14:52,016
But I did the attacks like you taught me.
332
00:14:52,017 --> 00:14:53,100
I know you did.
333
00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:54,268
And I listened.
334
00:14:54,269 --> 00:14:56,604
And I know I did a finger-blast,
but I thought I was helping.
335
00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:57,689
Ben, come on.
336
00:14:58,190 --> 00:15:00,316
I just wanna play with you.
337
00:15:00,317 --> 00:15:02,860
Brothers and roommates,
roommates and brothers.
338
00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:04,404
You don't get it, Ben.
339
00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:08,242
Okay? This is me and my friends' game
and you're messing it up.
340
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:09,825
You gotta go.
341
00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:13,037
Please, Devon. I wanna play.
342
00:15:13,038 --> 00:15:15,207
Please don't make me leave. Please, Dev--
343
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,212
Are you guys good?
344
00:15:21,213 --> 00:15:22,381
Fine. Let's go.
345
00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:32,932
Jesus. Finally.
It took us five fucking years to get here.
346
00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,517
Well, it's not over yet.
347
00:15:34,518 --> 00:15:38,020
I read that the final boss is crazy hard.
So here's what we're gonna do.
348
00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:39,897
There's three activation circles,
349
00:15:39,898 --> 00:15:42,149
and if we activate all three
a shield will appear
350
00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:44,110
that'll give us at least
a chance of beating this thing.
351
00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:46,737
So, Seth, you'll start
by casting shadow step and then--
352
00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:47,656
Okay.
353
00:15:49,324 --> 00:15:52,326
Shit. I gotta take this. Hey, Mom.
354
00:15:52,327 --> 00:15:53,786
Did you kick your brother out?
355
00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:56,122
What? No, I mean-- Yeah. Yes.
356
00:15:56,123 --> 00:16:00,126
I asked him to leave,
but-- Mom. Mom, stop yelling.
357
00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:01,712
Yikes.
358
00:16:02,337 --> 00:16:04,130
Guys, maybe I should just leave.
359
00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:06,132
It seems like things
are getting tense over there.
360
00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:09,010
Yeah. Go run along to Piss-stain.
I hope you give each other giardia.
361
00:16:09,011 --> 00:16:12,096
Yes! Drag him!
Drag him to the depths of hell.
362
00:16:12,097 --> 00:16:13,389
Her name is Kristen, Rory.
363
00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:15,349
- Hey, guys. Sorry about that.
- Yeah?
364
00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:17,226
Hey, Dev. Seth is gonna fuck off.
365
00:16:17,227 --> 00:16:18,769
So you might
want to rethink your game plan.
366
00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:20,521
- Wait. What?
- If you're gonna go, go.
367
00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:22,857
- Don't tell me what to do.
- You said it already ten times.
368
00:16:22,858 --> 00:16:24,942
Come on, guys.
Neither of you are leaving. Let's go.
369
00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:26,611
Let the whelp flee, Devon.
370
00:16:26,612 --> 00:16:29,155
Let him flee to his piss-cave
with his piss-queen.
371
00:16:29,156 --> 00:16:30,948
You know what?
Shut the fuck up, Kelly. Okay?
372
00:16:30,949 --> 00:16:32,909
- Don't talk to her like that.
- Jesus fucking Christ.
373
00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:35,786
That's enough with the soap opera. I can't
wait to get the hell out of this guild.
374
00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:37,330
You know what? Fuck it. I'm starting it.
375
00:16:37,331 --> 00:16:39,415
- Wait. No, no, no!
- What the hell?
376
00:16:39,416 --> 00:16:41,083
- Thanks, Freddie.
- Okay.
377
00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:42,169
Freddie!
378
00:16:47,216 --> 00:16:49,383
{\an8}Seth, aim for their eyes, dumbass.
379
00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:51,385
{\an8}God. Why are you such a dick, Rory?
380
00:16:51,386 --> 00:16:53,305
{\an8}See, this is why we broke up.
381
00:16:53,889 --> 00:16:56,098
{\an8}No. We broke up
because you don't have a life.
382
00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:58,017
{\an8}You just sit around in your underwear
watching anime.
383
00:16:58,018 --> 00:16:59,852
{\an8}I have a life.
384
00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:02,064
{\an8}It's just better with Kristen.
385
00:17:02,898 --> 00:17:03,899
{\an8}Fuck you, Seth.
386
00:17:07,611 --> 00:17:09,905
{\an8}Freddie, what did you mean?
Are you not playing anymore?
387
00:17:10,656 --> 00:17:13,366
{\an8}I mean, I found
a guild at Google, Clit Hounds,
388
00:17:13,367 --> 00:17:14,866
{\an8}and I'm gonna join them.
389
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,117
{\an8}I just don't have enough XP.
390
00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:19,121
{\an8}But once we fuck up the boss,
I'll be able to level up and join them.
391
00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:20,623
{\an8}So you're just using us?
392
00:17:20,624 --> 00:17:22,334
{\an8}I-- Yeah, I guess, if we win.
393
00:17:23,502 --> 00:17:25,336
{\an8}I should've known
you prefer girls who mouth breathe
394
00:17:25,337 --> 00:17:26,879
{\an8}- and write Dragon Ball Z porn.
- No,
395
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,131
{\an8}I prefer girls that aren't
so obsessed with trying to be cool
396
00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:31,300
{\an8}that they shame their boyfriends
for liking the stuff that they like.
397
00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:33,678
{\an8}How dare you
besmirch the name of Rory,
398
00:17:33,679 --> 00:17:36,138
{\an8}daughter of Ken,
adjuster of claims, sister to Rachel?
399
00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:38,766
{\an8}Okay, Kelly, Kelly, before you
do all that, why don't you ask her
400
00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:40,768
{\an8}about her roommate situation
at Santa Cruz?
401
00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:42,688
{\an8}Seth, don't.
402
00:17:44,940 --> 00:17:45,941
{\an8}Shit.
403
00:17:46,650 --> 00:17:48,025
{\an8}I can't believe you're ditching us.
404
00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:50,152
{\an8}Look, I'm sorry, I guess.
405
00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:51,946
{\an8}But, like, I've just
kind of outgrown you guys.
406
00:17:51,947 --> 00:17:52,989
{\an8}It's nothing personal.
407
00:17:52,990 --> 00:17:55,616
{\an8}How could it not be personal?
You're bailing on your friends, dude.
408
00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:57,076
{\an8}Don't make me out to be the bad guy
409
00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:58,787
{\an8}just 'cause I have my life together, okay?
410
00:17:59,538 --> 00:18:03,124
{\an8}What bile
does Seth the serpent spit, Rory?
411
00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:04,750
{\an8}Just forget it. He's being an asshole.
412
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:07,712
{\an8}I'm being the asshole?
I'm not the one lying to my friend.
413
00:18:07,713 --> 00:18:09,672
{\an8}What is he talking about, Rory?
414
00:18:09,673 --> 00:18:14,386
{\an8}I have my life together.
I'm getting it together.
415
00:18:14,970 --> 00:18:17,054
{\an8}Bro, we both know that's not true.
416
00:18:17,055 --> 00:18:19,850
{\an8}- It's not a big deal, Kelly.
- Tell her, Rory...
417
00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:22,561
{\an8}or I will.
418
00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:25,480
{\an8}I don't wanna be your roommate.
419
00:18:25,981 --> 00:18:27,232
{\an8}- What?
- No!
420
00:18:27,733 --> 00:18:28,941
{\an8}Why?
421
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:31,195
{\an8}Rory, why?
422
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,114
{\an8}Why, Rory?
423
00:18:34,740 --> 00:18:36,157
{\an8}Rory, why?
424
00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:38,659
{\an8}- Because you're fucking weird.
- Guys.
425
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:39,953
{\an8}Kelly, you're just--
426
00:18:40,579 --> 00:18:42,998
{\an8}you're a lot. It's exhausting.
427
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:46,210
{\an8}I just want a fresh start
at college, okay?
428
00:18:48,504 --> 00:18:51,797
{\an8}- I knew you were a bitch, Rory, but damn.
- Man, shut the fuck up, Freddie.
429
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:53,466
{\an8}- Why are you defending her?
- Hey.
430
00:18:53,467 --> 00:18:55,343
{\an8}You're balls-deep in Piss-stain now, dude.
431
00:18:55,344 --> 00:18:58,804
{\an8}Guys, stop it!
Stop attacking each other. We're friends.
432
00:18:58,805 --> 00:18:59,973
{\an8}Maybe we're not friends.
433
00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:01,075
Okay. Okay. I get it.
434
00:20:01,076 --> 00:20:03,244
I mean, we don't have to.
435
00:20:03,245 --> 00:20:04,162
That's--
436
00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:08,959
Let's just reschedule.
When's everyone free next?
437
00:20:11,503 --> 00:20:14,755
Guys. Come on.
We have to finish this raid,
438
00:20:14,756 --> 00:20:17,717
and then we have, like,
four other quests in our queue.
439
00:20:17,718 --> 00:20:22,346
Dude, let it go. It's over.
We're not playing anymore.
440
00:20:22,347 --> 00:20:25,308
Okay. Fuck off, Freddie. Yes, we are.
441
00:20:25,309 --> 00:20:28,061
- Okay? We--
- He's right. It's over.
442
00:20:28,854 --> 00:20:31,898
Everything has its time
and everything dies.
443
00:20:31,899 --> 00:20:34,985
No! No, it doesn't have to die.
444
00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:38,988
Not everything has to die, okay?
445
00:20:38,989 --> 00:20:43,160
We've gone through so much together, guys.
We can fix this.
446
00:20:44,912 --> 00:20:45,913
We can--
447
00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:51,585
Freddie was right.
448
00:20:53,295 --> 00:20:54,963
My life's a fucking mess.
449
00:20:55,589 --> 00:21:01,761
Right? I'm-- I don't have a job
or a relationship, you know?
450
00:21:01,762 --> 00:21:03,012
I'm not going to school.
451
00:21:03,013 --> 00:21:06,058
I'm living with my little brother,
for fuck's sake.
452
00:21:08,644 --> 00:21:11,020
I don't-- I-- Look,
I don't know what I'm gonna do, okay?
453
00:21:11,021 --> 00:21:12,814
I just-- I don't--
454
00:21:14,525 --> 00:21:16,109
I don't have anything else.
455
00:21:17,361 --> 00:21:19,905
This game, our guild,
456
00:21:21,198 --> 00:21:22,198
it's all I have.
457
00:21:22,199 --> 00:21:23,617
Okay? Please, just--
458
00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:27,287
Don't go.
459
00:21:27,871 --> 00:21:28,872
Please.
460
00:21:31,625 --> 00:21:34,043
I'm sorry, man.
461
00:21:34,044 --> 00:21:39,800
But this is supposed to be fun
and it's just not anymore.
462
00:21:41,718 --> 00:21:42,718
See you around, bro.
463
00:21:42,719 --> 00:21:43,971
Freddie, you--
464
00:21:46,348 --> 00:21:48,934
Hate to say it, Dev,
but I kind of agree with Freddie.
465
00:21:51,937 --> 00:21:54,648
But I'll call you later, okay?
466
00:21:57,025 --> 00:21:58,068
Love you, man.
467
00:22:04,449 --> 00:22:05,741
Bye, Dev.
468
00:22:05,742 --> 00:22:10,330
Well, good luck with everything.
469
00:22:11,123 --> 00:22:13,625
No. You--
470
00:22:15,169 --> 00:22:16,044
Kelly.
471
00:22:18,338 --> 00:22:22,259
For a time,
you were a just and noble leader.
472
00:22:26,388 --> 00:22:29,099
I'm sorry, Dev. I'll see ya.
473
00:23:31,286 --> 00:23:33,955
A flagon of sweet ambrosia, my good man.
474
00:23:33,956 --> 00:23:36,333
Kelly, Sorisana.
475
00:23:37,125 --> 00:23:38,960
Salutations, Devon.
476
00:23:38,961 --> 00:23:40,587
I'm surprised to see you online.
477
00:23:41,213 --> 00:23:45,341
And it's actually Naevys Luthana now.
478
00:23:45,342 --> 00:23:46,509
I joined a new guild.
479
00:23:46,510 --> 00:23:49,512
I was just logging on to transfer
an item to my new character.
480
00:23:49,513 --> 00:23:51,848
That's great.
I'm glad you're still playing.
481
00:23:51,849 --> 00:23:56,143
Yeah. I don't suppose you'd like to join?
482
00:23:56,144 --> 00:23:58,355
Does everyone role-play?
483
00:24:00,566 --> 00:24:03,902
- It means we all speak Elvish.
- Yeah. I'm good. How's college?
484
00:24:04,736 --> 00:24:06,070
I actually didn't end up going.
485
00:24:06,071 --> 00:24:09,490
It turns out doing
in-character mukbangs on Twitch is
486
00:24:09,491 --> 00:24:11,242
highly lucrative.
487
00:24:11,243 --> 00:24:13,327
- Wait, what?
- Yeah. Yesterday,
488
00:24:13,328 --> 00:24:16,998
I ate six Nashville hot chicken
sandwiches for $3,000.
489
00:24:16,999 --> 00:24:19,083
- It was sick.
- Oh, my God.
490
00:24:19,084 --> 00:24:21,252
What about you? What have you been up to?
491
00:24:21,253 --> 00:24:23,921
I'm-- I mean, I'm working
a bunch mostly. Saving up.
492
00:24:23,922 --> 00:24:25,590
Eating normal amounts of food.
493
00:24:25,591 --> 00:24:28,760
I'm applying to schools again.
I'm thinking about being a teacher.
494
00:24:29,344 --> 00:24:31,138
That's so wonderful.
495
00:24:31,638 --> 00:24:34,433
You would be an excellent educator.
496
00:24:35,100 --> 00:24:38,477
And, well,
have you been playing at all or...
497
00:24:38,478 --> 00:24:42,316
Sometimes. Yeah. It's not really the same.
498
00:24:43,984 --> 00:24:47,821
You know, I often think
of our adventures together.
499
00:24:49,072 --> 00:24:52,034
Our coarse but lively camaraderie.
500
00:24:52,826 --> 00:24:53,660
Ben.
501
00:24:55,078 --> 00:24:57,998
A bond I thought immutable.
502
00:24:59,333 --> 00:25:03,337
And at times,
those memories fill me with sadness,
503
00:25:03,837 --> 00:25:07,632
but most often I'm touched
504
00:25:07,633 --> 00:25:11,136
by a deep and abiding gratitude
505
00:25:12,304 --> 00:25:14,056
for the connection that we all shared.
506
00:25:15,849 --> 00:25:19,061
Sometimes love lasts only for a season.
507
00:25:20,270 --> 00:25:23,232
But what a bountiful season it was.
508
00:25:25,651 --> 00:25:26,485
Verily.
509
00:25:27,986 --> 00:25:28,987
Verily.
510
00:25:30,572 --> 00:25:31,907
Thanks, Kelly.
511
00:25:33,742 --> 00:25:35,577
Look. Young Master Ben is online.
512
00:25:36,662 --> 00:25:38,579
Shall we see what he's up to?
513
00:25:38,580 --> 00:25:39,581
Yeah.
514
00:25:43,585 --> 00:25:46,880
I'm the best gamer in the world.
515
00:25:48,090 --> 00:25:50,633
Devon! Guys, it's my brother.
516
00:25:50,634 --> 00:25:52,552
Everyone, fart like I taught you.
517
00:25:52,553 --> 00:25:54,847
Three, two, one.
518
00:25:57,474 --> 00:25:59,518
The legacy of farting lives on.
519
00:26:00,310 --> 00:26:01,311
Good job, buddy.
520
00:26:08,026 --> 00:26:11,113
You know, actually,
is there any space in your guild or...
521
00:26:12,990 --> 00:26:14,907
- That means, yes, of course.
- You know what? Never mind.
522
00:26:14,908 --> 00:26:17,327
No. I can teach you. Just repeat after me.
523
00:26:22,624 --> 00:26:24,126
Yes. Yes.
524
00:26:25,127 --> 00:26:26,919
Yes. Yes. You got it.
525
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:29,130
Yeah. All right. Maybe I can do this.
526
00:26:29,131 --> 00:26:31,300
- Maybe I can do this. All right.
- Yeah, absolutely.