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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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[narrator] Jason Bateman and Maya Rudolph
are about to guest star
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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on the Murderville Christmas Special.
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But here's the catch, everyone
has been given a script... except them.
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Hi, my name's Jason Bateman.
I am here doing Murderville.
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I'm Maya Rudolph.
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I'm about to do Murderville.
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I have been given no script.
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-I have not been given a script.
-What I know is next to nothing.
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I love that I didn't have to
learn any lines.
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[Jason] I've seen no actors.
I've seen no sets.
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I'm going to have to figure out
who the murderer is.
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And that makes me nervous.
So, I don't know who's here,
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what's happening... [chuckles]
...and what I'm going to do,
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which I'm delighted by.
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[Terry] The holidays,
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a magical time each year
when we set aside our differences
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and unite around one common belief,
that Christmas sucks ass.
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At least that's what I used to think.
My name is Terry Seattle.
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I'm a senior homicide detective
with a failed marriage
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and moderate to severe
plaque psoriasis.
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And this is a story of one magical night,
when my whole world changed.
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Bingo.
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-[phone rings]
-[grunts]
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[groans]
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-What is it Rhonda-slash-Chief?
-Merry Christmas, Terry.
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Is it? Is it a merry Christmas?
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I'll be quick, 'cause I'm in
Hawaii with Daz,
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we booked paddle boarding lessons.
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Did I forget to cash
an alimony check again?
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Yes, but that's not why I'm calling.
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Mayor Palmer's hosting
City Hall's annual holiday party,
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and there's been a mix up.
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She needs someone to run security details,
so get down there ASAP.
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Just 'cause I hate Christmas,
doesn't mean I want to work.
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Besides, one person
can't handle that event.
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-Which is why I got you a new partner.
-What?
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No. Chief, come on!
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-[doorbell rings]
-[groans]
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I'll text you the details. Have fun!
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I hope you fall off the paddle board,
then sharks circle you.
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-But don't eat... Ah, she hung up.
-[doorbell rings]
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I heard you the first time.
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[sighs]
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Hey.
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Well, if it isn't the Ghost
of Christmas ass.
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That's not complimentary.
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-Good to see you.
-Come on in.
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You are Detective Seattle perhaps,
I hope.
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Look at this guy,
already got questions.
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-Pop a seat right here.
-Yep.
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-Can I come around?
-I wish you would.
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Hi.
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-[sighs]
-Is this breakfast?
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-You always talk when you're nervous?
-[laughs]
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-Let's start with the basics.
-Okay.
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-What's your name?
-Jason.
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-Bateman.
-Okay.
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What's your profession before
you became a homicide trainee?
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I used to be an actor. I'm looking for
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-a career change.
-Kicked out?
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-No, not kicked out.
-Close?
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-No, it was totally voluntary.
-What kind of roles would you play?
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Just a normal, average, dumb white guy.
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-That makes sense.
-Sorry?
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You come waltzing in here,
thinking you can do my job.
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-No.
-I don't...
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-You ever worked security before?
-No, I have not.
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I got three callbacks for one
security part, but didn't get that one.
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-Like a commercial?
-Huh?
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No, no. How dare you.
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We're gonna be working
a security detail down at City Hall.
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Number one thing
is threat assessment.
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Think you'd be good at that?
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-Well, I--
-See any threat around you right now?
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-I see a lot of VHS tapes.
-Jason Bateman,
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do you see any other kind of threat
other than these items?
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Is there anything threatening to you?
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-Nothing at all in front of me.
-Huh.
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-[door slams open]
-[chainsaw whirring]
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[Terry yelling]
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Sit down!
Sit down!
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You see that?
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You did not assess the threat!
Sit down!
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You let a raving lunatic into my home!
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Lucky for you, it was
my former trainee, Marshawn Lynch.
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-Holy. Good Lord.
-Shit!
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-Big fan.
-The best damn
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homicide trainee I ever had.
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-You did not assess the threat.
-He wasn't in the room yet.
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Exactly. You should be thinking
about outside of the room.
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-Is there more trouble outside?
-You tell us.
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Is everybody going to die?
Are we going to die
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-in your hands, Jason Bateman?
-I don't want that to happen.
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-How can I help?
-You gotta stay alive.
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-Okay.
-Put your face in here.
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Look at this guy. Listen to him.
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-Shit, that is the fucking Ozark dude.
-Thank you.
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[Terry pants]
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-You're the best.
-No problem, Chief.
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Make yourself at home,
whatever you want.
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-That's it for him?
-He's going to chill out.
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It's Christmas.
Let's get out of here.
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-Let's do it.
-[phone chimes]
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-All right, hang on a second. Uh-oh.
-[Jason chuckles]
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This is just
something from the chief here.
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What size booties do you wear?
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[Terry] Turns out the holiday party
was short an elf,
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so Jason was pressed
into emergency service.
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Little did we know his job would soon go
from spreading cheer,
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to solving murder.
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Look at this.
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-They smudged their names.
-Pretty smeary.
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[Terry] Amateur hour.
You guys never heard of a Sharpie?
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You ready?
How you feeling? Feeling good?
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I'm happy now. We're at a party.
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Good. The Mayor said that
she needed Santa's elf
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as a helper, I wanna know
you're here to help.
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-Are you here to help?
-I'm here to help.
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Are you getting into a holiday outfit?
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I need you looking alive,
looking for threats.
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Look at all these presents. Wow!
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These are incredible.
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What, do we just
grab one of these... Angus?
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Angie, and no.
This toy drive is for the local orphanage.
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Later, Santa will deliver
the gifts to the kids.
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Oh my gosh! Noise canceling headphones!
These are the best.
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-You ever used these before?
-I'd love some right now.
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-They cancel out the noise.
-Yep.
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-Can I have these?
-[Angie] Absolutely not.
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-Each present is for a specific orphan.
-Wow.
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These orphans, parents die
and people just give you presents?
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Wish my parents had just died like that.
[quietly] Grab those.
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-Three presents?
-No, these.
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Stuff 'em in. In your vest.
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I've always wanted a pair of these.
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You got it? Zip 'em right in there.
That looks good.
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-Detective.
-Mayor Palmer, how are you?
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Detective Seattle, thank you
for coming on short notice.
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And you must be?
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-Jason, trainee.
-How good are you, Jason?
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-I can be the best, the best ever.
-Great.
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You're practiced at being an elf?
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I feel like I've got the outfit on
and ready to go.
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Do you have, like, a...
maybe, like, an elf dance?
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That'd be great.
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Yeah, let's see that.
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-Okay.
-[Terry] And sort make,
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-like a song, an original song.
-Yeah.
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-Caw caw caw!
-That'd be--
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-[Terry chuckles]
-Not mine.
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-[Terry] Hang on.
-Wow.
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Sorry, I brought these for the orphans.
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They look like
the one you had before.
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-Damn it.
-Ready?
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-Let's do it.
-Come here, listen to Santa.
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He'll tell you what's going on.
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-Ho ho ho!
-Stand right here, next to Santa.
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My little elf helper has arrived.
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Okay, don't be distracted
by all this Christmas crap.
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You're here for threat assessment.
Keep your eyes peeled for any danger.
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-Terry, can I talk to you for a second?
-Yep.
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Alright, Terry, I really need
tonight to go smoothly.
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No problems. I'm down in the polls,
I can't take the negative PR.
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Mayor Palmer,
don't you worry about it, okay?
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Nothing's going to go wrong.
Terry Seattle is on the case!
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-[lights click off]
-[all gasp]
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[suspenseful music playing]
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[bells jingling]
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-[man grunts, yells]
-[thud]
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[lights click on]
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Here we go.
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[all gasp]
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Oh, my God, Jason!
I leave you alone for two seconds,
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and Santa gets shivved?
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I didn't do it. Should we take it out?
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-Seems like he might still be alive.
-Oh, my God. Santa!
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-Santa, what happened?
-Someone stabbed me with a candy cane.
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That part is so apparent, Santa,
and sticking out of your chest.
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Who did it?
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[groaning] Butter.
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-Butter?
-Butter?
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[Santa groans]
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He said "butter" as his last words.
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What does that mean?
Does that mean anything to you?
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You look like you consume a lot of butter.
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I've been trying to cut down on that.
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-Oh God! Johnny.
-Johnny?
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-Johnny...
-Johnny, who-- Here, take off the beard.
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[Jason] Oh, Jesus.
You dragged Sean Hayes into this?
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Man. Legendary quarterback
John Blaze, Hall of Famer.
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Johnny was going to help
deliver presents to the orphans.
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Then throw a football
over the orphanage.
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Well, looks like
his life plans got intercepted.
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-That's wonderful.
-Thank you.
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Is he still alive a little bit?
He might need mouth to mouth.
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-I'd love to.
-Let's see if that'll bring him back.
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00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:14,845
-Johnny,
-Let's see--
200
00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:16,639
But now he's turning away from me.
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-Get in there.
-I've gotta plug and open. Plug and open.
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-Get him.
-Plug and open.
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Is he still holding?
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-And opening.
-[Palmer] Save him.
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He seems alive to me.
That seemed to do it.
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[babbles]
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Oh, he died again.
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[Terry] Well, we can't say we didn't try.
Okay, listen up, everybody.
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00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:36,659
Legendary quarterback
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John "Johnny" Blaze was murdered.
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00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:44,208
And his killer... is in this room.
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00:09:45,459 --> 00:09:48,421
Mayor Palmer, we have to
shut this whole place down.
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00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:50,464
Oh no, we can't lock down the building.
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We have to deliver those presents
by Christmas morning.
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00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:56,929
-If we don't, it'll be a PR disaster.
-How long we got till sunrise?
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-Seven hours, 14 minutes.
-Wow, that was so specific.
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00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:06,939
Okay, well, until then,
nobody can leave this building.
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-Okay?
-Fine.
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00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:11,277
But you better find the killer by dawn,
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because if those presents
don't go to the kids,
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my political career is toast.
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00:10:15,906 --> 00:10:19,410
And you better believe if I go down,
I'm taking you with me.
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I can't imagine I can go
further down than I already am.
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[screams]
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00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:25,583
Oh, my God!
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00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,961
Grab her chair.
Grab that chair. Let her sit down.
227
00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:31,172
Sit her right down.
Sit down, there she is.
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We're trapped! I can't do this!
We're all gonna die!
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00:10:34,383 --> 00:10:37,011
She's having a panic attack.
You gotta calm her down.
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00:10:37,094 --> 00:10:38,095
You gotta calm down.
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-♪ Sweet little baby, don't you cry ♪
-[shrieking]
232
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:43,726
No, you are the worst at this.
Do something calmer.
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00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:45,728
She can't -- Oh no, no, no.
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00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:49,315
I just want to go home
and be with Mr. Whiskers.
235
00:10:49,398 --> 00:10:51,317
-Who's Mr. Whiskers?
-My kitty.
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00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:55,696
-He always calms my fragile nerves.
-Well, you're an actor.
237
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:58,991
-Be a kitty?
-Yeah. Mr. Whiskers can't be here
238
00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:02,078
-but we do have Master Bateman.
-Mr. Bateman.
239
00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:05,998
Just get on all fours like a cat.
Get on all fours and be a kitty.
240
00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:08,626
[Terry] There you go.
There you go.
241
00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:12,338
[Angie] He is kind of nice.
Come on, jump up.
242
00:11:12,421 --> 00:11:14,131
There we go, just lean across her.
243
00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:16,759
-There's a soft side of me.
-Clean. Clean.
244
00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:20,763
There we go.
Little kitty. What else--
245
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:22,640
You want some milk, don't you?
246
00:11:22,723 --> 00:11:23,724
-Yes, please.
-Milk!
247
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,351
Right down-- There we go.
248
00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:29,814
There he is, he'll get down
on all fours in the milk. Here we go.
249
00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:34,360
And then get right in there, okay.
And eyes up. Eyes up.
250
00:11:34,443 --> 00:11:37,822
-[Jason] Mmm, almond. [laughs]
-Eyes up. Lick it eyes up.
251
00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:39,115
There we go.
252
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:42,034
-[exhales] I'm feeling better.
-Okay, good.
253
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,494
-Thank you, detective.
-Good.
254
00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:45,788
-You're a saint.
-You got it.
255
00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:48,290
[Terry] Get up,
you're embarrassing yourself!
256
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:49,917
What are you doing?
257
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:53,796
God, that's humiliating.
258
00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:55,673
Payback's going to be tough.
259
00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:57,883
-Yeah.
-I got a long time to think about it.
260
00:11:58,050 --> 00:11:59,093
[sirens wailing]
261
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:01,762
[officer] Lock it up.
No one comes in or out.
262
00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:07,435
All right, listen. You were there
when Santa got murdered.
263
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:10,396
You remember anything?
You hear any unusual sound?
264
00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:13,941
I just remember a little bit of a squeal.
265
00:12:14,024 --> 00:12:15,067
-A squeal?
-Yep.
266
00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:17,403
That was all?
You didn't hear any other sound?
267
00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:20,448
-You didn't hear--
-I think I did hear...
268
00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:25,161
Yes, I did. There were three bells
and then the lights came on.
269
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:29,790
-You heard three bells? I'm not crazy?
-Maybe it was five. It was... ching ching.
270
00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:32,918
Like a Christmas type of shaky thing.
271
00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:35,129
All right, let's examine the body,
shall we?
272
00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:36,255
-Okay.
-Okay.
273
00:12:36,338 --> 00:12:37,756
[gasps] Gosh.
Amber at point.
274
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,468
-You got here quick.
-I came as soon as I heard.
275
00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:41,886
Amber Kang, forensics.
276
00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:45,723
This is homicide trainee,
Jason Bateman, in an elf costume.
277
00:12:45,806 --> 00:12:47,683
Let's take a look.
Whaddya think, J?
278
00:12:47,766 --> 00:12:49,977
-Pop down here real quick.
-Yep.
279
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:54,148
Amber, how was Santa killed
with just a candy cane?
280
00:12:54,231 --> 00:12:57,985
By it being sharpened
to a fine peppermint point.
281
00:12:58,068 --> 00:13:00,696
-You see how smooth that taper is?
-Yeah.
282
00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:02,490
You can't get that with a knife.
283
00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:05,159
You can only get that by licking it.
284
00:13:05,242 --> 00:13:07,369
It in order to lick that much...
285
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,873
-must have loved mint.
-And licking.
286
00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:13,375
I guess, and licking, too.
287
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:16,337
A Santa hater, but a great licker.
288
00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:18,506
Why don't you examine
the rest of the body?
289
00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:20,925
See if there's anything
you can find here.
290
00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:23,719
-Is there anything here?
-We've got-- hang on a second.
291
00:13:23,802 --> 00:13:27,181
-[Jason] We've got somebody's name tag.
-[Terry] Let me grab it.
292
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:31,602
The name is smudged.
293
00:13:31,685 --> 00:13:36,273
It's possible that, that is the name tag
of the person Santa was struggling with.
294
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:39,902
That he grabbed it off
of whoever killed him.
295
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:46,367
Mayor, can you think of anybody here
who had a relationship with Johnny Blaze?
296
00:13:46,450 --> 00:13:47,952
Yeah, there is one.
297
00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:48,911
Jim Trentley.
298
00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:50,955
-Jim Trentley?!
-Absolutely.
299
00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:54,250
Sports reporter from Channel Five News?
300
00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:55,876
-Yeah.
-Do you know Jim?
301
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,587
-I love his show.
-The two of them were really close.
302
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:00,839
So Jim's in the bar,
he's pretty shaken up.
303
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:01,966
Jim's in the bar.
304
00:14:02,049 --> 00:14:04,593
Sounds like we got
ourselves our first suspect.
305
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:09,473
[clears throat]
306
00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:12,226
Mr. Trentley.
307
00:14:12,309 --> 00:14:15,813
[chuckles] Only my wife's divorce attorney
calls for Mr. Trentley.
308
00:14:15,896 --> 00:14:17,064
Call me Jim.
309
00:14:17,147 --> 00:14:18,774
[chuckles] Oh, well.
310
00:14:18,857 --> 00:14:20,859
Senior Detective Terry Seattle.
311
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:23,320
Big fan, and sorry about your divorce.
312
00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:24,363
Yeah, it's fine.
313
00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:28,450
Hey, I got myself a new little lady,
and she has got a pair
314
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:31,245
of magic hands,
if you know what I'm talking about.
315
00:14:31,328 --> 00:14:32,663
[Terry] Okay.
316
00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:36,041
Jason's got some questions here
that he needs to ask you.
317
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:37,293
Just routine stuff.
318
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:39,962
That's funny, because,
I'm usually the one
319
00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:41,380
asking the questions.
320
00:14:41,463 --> 00:14:45,384
Hey, hey. What do you think
your team did, huh?
321
00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:48,262
-You think you'll make it into playoffs?
-[all laugh]
322
00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:50,514
Hey!
This is what we're going to do.
323
00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:52,892
Okay?
You're going to ask the question.
324
00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:55,561
You're an interviewer.
That's the microphone.
325
00:14:55,644 --> 00:14:58,397
You're going to be cameraman,
big man, cameraman.
326
00:14:58,480 --> 00:14:59,773
-Here he comes.
-Okay.
327
00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:01,442
That's your camera.
328
00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:05,946
We're going to do a classic, old school
locker room interview, all right?
329
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:07,740
-I'm going to get ready.
-Okay.
330
00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:10,117
Boy, he's a character, huh?
331
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:13,954
-[Jim] Don't drink my peppermint schnapps!
-Don't know how this is gonna go.
332
00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:16,957
-He seems... You got your--
-Go over a few questions.
333
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:19,710
-You got some questions there?
-Should I run--
334
00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:21,921
-[Jim] Okay, I'm ready!
-I guess you could--
335
00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:23,255
Let's roll camera!
336
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:24,506
Okay.
337
00:15:25,549 --> 00:15:27,301
-Oh, boy. Hey...
-Hey there.
338
00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:31,805
Folks, thanks for hanging out.
I was just hitting the showers.
339
00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:32,806
You know?
340
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:34,600
Like a locker room interview.
341
00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:36,185
You got some questions for me?
342
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:38,938
Can you describe your relationship
with Johnny Blaze?
343
00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:43,192
Johnny Blaze and I met 15 years ago,
became golfing buddies.
344
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:47,529
-You played golf with Johnny Blaze?
-Yes, I did. Every Thursday.
345
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:49,782
[chuckles] Johnny always won.
346
00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:52,993
I got a hell of a drive,
but my short game's for crap.
347
00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:57,373
You know, it's my putter!
That's why I lost all that money to him.
348
00:15:57,456 --> 00:16:00,501
You know, and whatever I owed him,
it would just go on my tab.
349
00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:02,878
How much money did you lose to Johnny?
350
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,171
Well...
351
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:07,132
[stammering] About $9 million.
352
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:08,550
Wow.
353
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:12,054
-You lost $9 million to Johnny Blaze?
-It was my damn putter.
354
00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:14,974
I could never get--
my short game's for crap.
355
00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:18,268
-Yeah, I don't know, golf's hard...
-Roger that.
356
00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:22,147
Was the money that you owed
a source of tension between you two?
357
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:24,316
-$9 million, safe to bet it was.
-Tension.
358
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,901
Come on, now.
359
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,821
We would never let money
get in between us, boy.
360
00:16:28,904 --> 00:16:31,532
Even when he called in
the whole debt, recently.
361
00:16:31,615 --> 00:16:35,953
Um... he called in the debt?
362
00:16:36,036 --> 00:16:39,331
Oh yeah, of course he did.
Last week he called in the debt.
363
00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:43,585
Said he needed the cash for some
business ventures he was doing, you know?
364
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:48,215
And, you know, when you think about it,
me not owing him $9 million
365
00:16:48,298 --> 00:16:52,845
is really the only positive thing
to come out of this whole sad event.
366
00:16:52,928 --> 00:16:56,223
What you're saying is you recognize that
you would have had...
367
00:16:56,306 --> 00:16:57,808
take some deep bends.
368
00:16:57,891 --> 00:16:59,351
Um, you...
369
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:03,522
Him, now dead,
you would no longer need to...
370
00:17:04,064 --> 00:17:06,650
uh, pay him the $9 million.
371
00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:08,360
Uh...
372
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:12,740
-Try downward dog, while we're at it.
-All right, well, if you say so.
373
00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:17,578
-He's a true ginger. I'll give him that.
-He's a true ginger. He's super flexible.
374
00:17:17,661 --> 00:17:19,955
He's very flexible
and not afraid to do it.
375
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:23,375
[Terry] Well, thanks for your time, Jim.
I do have one request,
376
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:24,585
and I feel bad asking.
377
00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:26,712
-You want an autograph?
-I would love one.
378
00:17:26,795 --> 00:17:29,757
-[laughs] That's alright, here you go.
-He's got his own.
379
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:34,386
-I come with my own headshot.
-Cool. Senior Detective Terry Seattle.
380
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:37,765
-T-E-R-R-Y.
-To my new best friend, Toby Skedaddle.
381
00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:39,433
-Here you go.
-Close enough.
382
00:17:39,516 --> 00:17:41,769
But you know what I want?
Now come on.
383
00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:43,729
Oh, yeah. Oh, God!
384
00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:47,191
You're a good hugger.
385
00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:52,071
[Terry] After a rocky start, Jason and I
were finally clicking as partners.
386
00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:56,950
We were ready to track down more suspects.
But fate, and Mayor Palmer,
387
00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:58,118
had other plans.
388
00:17:58,202 --> 00:17:59,411
Where have you two been?
389
00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:02,456
-[Jason] Well...
-[Terry] Uh... Sorry, it took a second
390
00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:06,293
just to convince Jim
to put his clothes back on, it got dicey.
391
00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:09,213
We're here at your service,
we're really on top of this.
392
00:18:09,296 --> 00:18:13,008
Are you? It seems clear to me you're
not able to handle this on your own.
393
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,385
-Well...
-We're doing our best.
394
00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:16,929
-We are...
-I don't think so.
395
00:18:17,012 --> 00:18:19,598
-And that's why I've called in backup.
-[Terry] What?
396
00:18:19,681 --> 00:18:23,268
No, no, no. Come on, Mayor.
Last thing I need is another idiot
397
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:25,938
-that I got to babysit up in here.
-Boy.
398
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:27,397
-Okay?
-I'm excited.
399
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:29,191
-Well.
-Come on out, Maya.
400
00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:31,527
This is such a mistake.
401
00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:32,820
Here you go.
402
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,738
-Stand right here, please.
-Okay. Hi.
403
00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:37,908
Detective, Jason. This is Maya Rudolph.
She's on your team now.
404
00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:40,160
-Incredible to meet you.
-Great to meet you.
405
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:42,663
-Hi.
-Senior Detective Terry Seattle.
406
00:18:42,746 --> 00:18:43,872
-Maya Rudolph.
-Maya.
407
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,749
-It's great we got help.
-Just great.
408
00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:49,753
I need all of you to find the killer
and close this case.
409
00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:51,505
-You understand?
-Yeah, got it.
410
00:18:51,588 --> 00:18:57,386
Great. Now, Terry, you have five hours
before the sun rises and your career sets.
411
00:18:58,720 --> 00:18:59,721
Wow.
412
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:02,808
-Thought it'd be another--
-Super menacing.
413
00:19:02,891 --> 00:19:05,769
-Five hours? A lot of time.
-So you work together.
414
00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:07,729
Now we're all working together?
415
00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:11,066
-What does your gut tell you so far?
-Nothing, I just got here.
416
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,193
-Santa Claus is dead.
-I'll tell you what.
417
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:14,278
[snickering]
418
00:19:14,361 --> 00:19:16,864
Jason, why don't you
tell Maya what's happened?
419
00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:19,700
-Really, Santa Claus is dead?
-Tell her what's happened.
420
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,910
Only got about 20 seconds.
Here we go.
421
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,662
-Johnny Blaze...
-Yeah.
422
00:19:23,745 --> 00:19:25,455
-...was a football player.
-Okay.
423
00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:27,791
He's now dead. He was playing Santa.
424
00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:29,710
-Okay.
-So, Santa
425
00:19:29,793 --> 00:19:33,463
-was killed by a sharp candy cane...
-Object? Okay.
426
00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:36,550
...that was made
into a point through licking.
427
00:19:36,633 --> 00:19:40,095
-That was made sharp from licking?
-Lick made the point.
428
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:44,975
Lick made the point, Santa's dead,
Johnny Blaze is not dead, though.
429
00:19:45,058 --> 00:19:47,644
-Johnny Blaze is dead.
-[Terry] Johnny Blaze is dead.
430
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:50,814
Johnny Blaze is dead.
And there was a naked sports caster.
431
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:53,025
He's a ginger, too.
He seemed pretty guilty.
432
00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:55,277
-The naked guy?
-Yeah! And drunk,
433
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:58,864
-and he owed Johnny Blaze $9 million.
-[gasps]
434
00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:01,450
-We don't know who killed Santa?
-Why we're here.
435
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:03,410
-We're gonna figure it out.
-Obviously.
436
00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:07,247
Okay. I feel I'm up to speed.
I don't know where we are.
437
00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:09,166
Where are we now?
Tell her that.
438
00:20:09,249 --> 00:20:11,168
We're in an office building.
439
00:20:11,251 --> 00:20:16,840
-No, where does the mayor work?
-The mayor works at big city, right?
440
00:20:16,924 --> 00:20:18,967
In any city, where does the mayor--
441
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,844
-City Hall.
-There we go.
442
00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:23,513
I gotta tell you something,
this is a disaster.
443
00:20:23,597 --> 00:20:24,473
-No.
-Why?
444
00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:26,350
Hello? I'm calling for Johnny Blaze.
445
00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:28,977
I need to cancel his massage
appointment tomorrow.
446
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,979
No, he's not rescheduling.
447
00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:34,775
Did you just hear that?
She works for Johnny Blaze.
448
00:20:34,858 --> 00:20:37,319
We need to go
and see what she knows.
449
00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:39,363
About Johnny. Yep, let's do it.
450
00:20:39,446 --> 00:20:43,116
Obviously about Johnny,
not what she knows about other stuff.
451
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:45,369
And we don't know who killed him?
452
00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:47,955
We got to find out
because otherwise the orphans
453
00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:50,040
aren't going to get their toys,
and then
454
00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:53,252
the other thing that'll
get murdered is the spirit of Christmas.
455
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:55,587
[cackling]
456
00:20:56,713 --> 00:20:59,424
It's true. All these gifts
are for the orphans.
457
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:01,260
"Get murdered."
458
00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:05,389
Okay. Okay, cool.
459
00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:07,724
[Terry] We put suspect number two
in an office
460
00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:10,310
to sweat for a bit
before interrogating her.
461
00:21:10,394 --> 00:21:13,814
But getting her to talk
would be our toughest mission yet.
462
00:21:13,897 --> 00:21:17,776
Oh, my God. Can somebody please tell me
why I'm being held in here?
463
00:21:17,859 --> 00:21:20,654
First, let's just get
the intros out of the way.
464
00:21:20,737 --> 00:21:22,948
I am Senior Detective Terry Seattle.
465
00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:26,535
We're going to start right at
the beginning here. What is your name?
466
00:21:26,618 --> 00:21:29,246
I'm Mia Briggs,
and I was Johnny's personal assistant.
467
00:21:29,329 --> 00:21:32,291
-How come you're wearing his name tag?
-I was gonna ask.
468
00:21:32,374 --> 00:21:33,959
This is actually mine.
469
00:21:34,042 --> 00:21:36,670
Johnny said remembering
the name Mia was impossible,
470
00:21:36,753 --> 00:21:39,715
-so he called me Johnny.
-We're gonna ask you about Johnny.
471
00:21:39,798 --> 00:21:41,717
-I can't answer anything.
-Why not?
472
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:45,387
I signed an ironclad NDA.
Can't answer anything to do with him.
473
00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:48,807
-Ironclad NDA? Not a regular NDA?
-It was very intense.
474
00:21:48,890 --> 00:21:51,518
We don't have time
to get to the bottom of this.
475
00:21:51,601 --> 00:21:55,647
We're going to do something
I call good cop, bad cop, Terry style.
476
00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:58,233
Jason, you're a good cop.
Maya, you're a bad cop.
477
00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:01,111
If things don't work out,
switch roles. So look for cues.
478
00:22:01,194 --> 00:22:03,322
-You're good.
-You're good, you're bad.
479
00:22:03,405 --> 00:22:06,033
You're going to be answering
some questions right now!
480
00:22:06,116 --> 00:22:07,743
-Hey, Mia.
-Right here.
481
00:22:07,826 --> 00:22:09,661
[Mia] I'm gonna sit, but not talk.
482
00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:11,079
Okay, let's see about that.
483
00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:13,332
-Get over here.
-Let's see about that.
484
00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:16,793
-Right here. Good cop, bad, go!
-You look awesome today,
485
00:22:16,877 --> 00:22:19,588
That color's very pretty
on your complexion.
486
00:22:19,671 --> 00:22:22,507
When's the last time you saw
your boss alive?
487
00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:23,759
This morning.
488
00:22:23,842 --> 00:22:26,303
-Yeah, you murder him?
-I can't talk about him.
489
00:22:26,386 --> 00:22:28,722
I don't even know why
I answered those.
490
00:22:28,805 --> 00:22:30,432
Defensive much?
491
00:22:30,515 --> 00:22:33,143
-You don't want to get her upset?
-Switch it.
492
00:22:33,226 --> 00:22:34,936
You're gonna answer the question
493
00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:38,106
or you're going to get
carted out of here on a stretcher.
494
00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:41,193
-I'm not answering.
-Sweetie, I just have a couple questions.
495
00:22:41,276 --> 00:22:44,112
-I love your sweater.
-We need something helpful from you.
496
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:45,781
I can't talk about him.
497
00:22:45,864 --> 00:22:48,325
We got to try new kinds of cops.
498
00:22:48,408 --> 00:22:51,703
Maya, French cop,
Jason, Italian cop.
499
00:22:52,954 --> 00:22:57,834
Mia... [speaks French]
500
00:22:57,918 --> 00:22:59,711
[speaking broken Italian]
501
00:22:59,795 --> 00:23:04,382
[Maya continues speaking French]
502
00:23:04,466 --> 00:23:05,467
Smoke.
503
00:23:05,550 --> 00:23:10,430
[Maya continues speaking broken French]
504
00:23:10,514 --> 00:23:12,182
Forget about it.
505
00:23:12,265 --> 00:23:16,311
[Italian accent] Forget about it!
What you think you know?
506
00:23:16,394 --> 00:23:18,855
And tell me what I need to know.
507
00:23:18,939 --> 00:23:22,150
[French accent] You know what I think?
You Americans put too much
508
00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:23,819
ketchup on your hamburgers.
509
00:23:23,902 --> 00:23:26,863
At the Olive Garden,
when you're here, your family.
510
00:23:26,947 --> 00:23:29,783
When you're here...
511
00:23:29,866 --> 00:23:31,118
Singing cop.
512
00:23:32,369 --> 00:23:35,288
♪ Let me ask you a couple of questions ♪
513
00:23:36,706 --> 00:23:38,917
♪ Did you murder your boss? ♪
514
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:40,252
Liam Neeson cop.
515
00:23:40,335 --> 00:23:43,588
-[imitates Liam] I will protect you.
-Pretty good!
516
00:23:43,672 --> 00:23:46,508
-Pretty good.
-Okay, Maya, working class British cop.
517
00:23:46,591 --> 00:23:49,719
[British accent] I'm gonna give you
five fucking minutes, right?
518
00:23:49,803 --> 00:23:52,973
And then you're going to fucking tell me.
What the fuck.
519
00:23:53,056 --> 00:23:54,516
[laughs]
520
00:23:54,599 --> 00:23:57,018
Only speaks in robot sound-bleeps.
521
00:23:57,102 --> 00:23:59,771
[imitates robot] Okay. We need...
522
00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:03,984
-some answers out of you.
-No words, just bleeps.
523
00:24:04,067 --> 00:24:08,321
[makes robot noises]
524
00:24:08,405 --> 00:24:11,074
Listen, you don't want to get
the robot mad.
525
00:24:11,158 --> 00:24:13,660
-He'll fucking punch you, right?
-[robot noise]
526
00:24:13,743 --> 00:24:15,328
-Rick Astley cop.
-[chuckles]
527
00:24:15,412 --> 00:24:18,874
♪ Never going to arrest you
Because you're my best friend ♪
528
00:24:18,957 --> 00:24:22,127
♪ Never going to arrest you, Mia ♪
529
00:24:22,210 --> 00:24:24,629
-[shouts] Is that enough for you?
-I'll talk!
530
00:24:24,713 --> 00:24:25,964
[normal] There it is.
531
00:24:26,047 --> 00:24:28,592
-We did it.
-You're running point on this.
532
00:24:28,675 --> 00:24:30,594
Ask about her job
working for Johnny.
533
00:24:30,677 --> 00:24:32,596
-[normal] Yes, I have questions.
-Yeah.
534
00:24:32,679 --> 00:24:36,141
Okay. What were your responsibilities?
535
00:24:36,224 --> 00:24:38,810
I had his calendar.
I would drive him places.
536
00:24:38,894 --> 00:24:41,104
-Okay.
-I faked an ADHD condition
537
00:24:41,188 --> 00:24:43,773
-so that he could snort my Adderall.
-Wait, what?
538
00:24:43,857 --> 00:24:47,277
One time, he had me drive through
a tornado to get to Sam's Club
539
00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:50,238
because he said, quote,
"I need all of the butter."
540
00:24:51,114 --> 00:24:53,074
-[beeping]
-Wait, hang on. Sorry.
541
00:24:53,158 --> 00:24:55,243
I have to do this really quick.
542
00:24:57,162 --> 00:24:59,706
-What's that?
-Okay, so Johnny said that
543
00:24:59,789 --> 00:25:02,542
my breath smelled like
a wet sneaker with gonorrhea.
544
00:25:02,626 --> 00:25:05,670
So he asked me to spray my mouth
with mint every five minutes.
545
00:25:05,754 --> 00:25:09,090
So he said unkind things
to you often and you like mint?
546
00:25:09,174 --> 00:25:12,427
It seems to me--
I'm just going to put this out there...
547
00:25:12,510 --> 00:25:14,638
-Johnny's a little controlling.
-Okay, wait.
548
00:25:14,721 --> 00:25:17,432
I feel like you're getting
the wrong impression of him.
549
00:25:17,515 --> 00:25:20,227
He really was
a very great boss most of the time.
550
00:25:20,310 --> 00:25:22,687
-Doesn't sound like it.
-No, he got me a present.
551
00:25:22,771 --> 00:25:24,981
-Really?
-Yes. Look. This beautiful necklace.
552
00:25:25,065 --> 00:25:27,150
-[bells jingling]
-He got me this necklace
553
00:25:27,234 --> 00:25:29,444
that makes noise
so he can know where I am.
554
00:25:29,527 --> 00:25:31,613
Now I know where he is all times.
555
00:25:31,696 --> 00:25:33,740
-Where is he?
-Boss heaven.
556
00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:35,367
"Boss heaven?"
557
00:25:36,451 --> 00:25:38,286
Terry, you need to see this.
558
00:25:40,330 --> 00:25:41,665
Who the fuck is that?
559
00:25:44,876 --> 00:25:46,044
Take a look at this.
560
00:25:46,127 --> 00:25:50,257
All the guests were close enough to Johnny
to stab him when the lights went out,
561
00:25:50,340 --> 00:25:54,010
but the circuit breaker
for the power is all the way over here.
562
00:25:54,094 --> 00:25:57,430
There wasn't time for any guests
to cut the lights and stab Johnny.
563
00:25:57,514 --> 00:25:58,932
Know what that means?
564
00:25:59,015 --> 00:26:01,518
Can I just have a moment with my trainees?
565
00:26:01,601 --> 00:26:04,604
Whoever turned off the lights
can't be the same person...
566
00:26:04,688 --> 00:26:06,398
[both] ...who killed Johnny. Jinx!
567
00:26:06,481 --> 00:26:08,400
-Oh, my God.
-[both laugh]
568
00:26:08,483 --> 00:26:11,236
-What if it's Stretch Armstrong?
-The character?
569
00:26:11,319 --> 00:26:15,323
The one with the arms that could reach
that and stab at the same time.
570
00:26:15,407 --> 00:26:16,658
You know what this means?
571
00:26:16,741 --> 00:26:21,371
This means there's an accomplice.
This changes everything.
572
00:26:21,454 --> 00:26:25,333
-[deep voice] So what you're saying is...
-[both] There's an accomplice.
573
00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:28,586
And this accomplice is out here,
hiding in plain sight,
574
00:26:28,670 --> 00:26:32,841
and their only goal is to try to stop us.
We are no longer the hunters.
575
00:26:32,924 --> 00:26:35,218
We are now the hunted.
576
00:26:35,302 --> 00:26:39,097
And there's a new hunter
who's out there hunting us.
577
00:26:39,180 --> 00:26:43,852
The former hunters,
being now the hunted...
578
00:26:43,935 --> 00:26:45,729
by the new hunter.
579
00:26:45,812 --> 00:26:48,315
-Are you having a stroke?
-[woman] Hello?
580
00:26:49,733 --> 00:26:51,901
-Who's that?
-Oh, shit. The orphans.
581
00:26:51,985 --> 00:26:55,071
-What are they doing here?
-They've been waiting to meet Santa.
582
00:26:55,155 --> 00:26:56,781
I forgot about them in the chaos.
583
00:26:56,865 --> 00:26:59,326
If they see Santa dead,
my career is over.
584
00:26:59,409 --> 00:27:00,618
Okay, what do we do?
585
00:27:00,702 --> 00:27:02,412
-Think.
-"Hard Knock Life."
586
00:27:02,495 --> 00:27:04,581
Sweeping. Should I give 'em a broom?
587
00:27:04,664 --> 00:27:06,958
Wait a second! I got an idea.
588
00:27:07,709 --> 00:27:11,588
You stall 'em, Mayor.
You two, come with me.
589
00:27:12,380 --> 00:27:13,381
Please.
590
00:27:13,465 --> 00:27:17,594
Hi, hi. So sorry. Sorry for the delay.
Hi. Are you kids having fun?
591
00:27:17,677 --> 00:27:20,472
We've been sitting
in your office for five hours.
592
00:27:20,555 --> 00:27:21,890
-Yeah.
-What's going on?
593
00:27:21,973 --> 00:27:24,684
We got him all set here.
Let's just get him--
594
00:27:24,768 --> 00:27:26,019
[laughter]
595
00:27:26,102 --> 00:27:30,565
All right. Okay. All right, guys,
we got Santa. Come on.
596
00:27:30,648 --> 00:27:32,025
-No.
-Come on back here.
597
00:27:32,108 --> 00:27:34,569
So Santa is having, like, a moment.
598
00:27:34,652 --> 00:27:37,489
Hold that. You manage that,
and, Jason, you get there.
599
00:27:37,572 --> 00:27:40,492
And Santa's gonna have
that moment for a while.
600
00:27:40,575 --> 00:27:41,743
[Terry] Santa's ready.
601
00:27:41,826 --> 00:27:46,081
Okay. Well, then,
come this way, I guess.
602
00:27:47,749 --> 00:27:49,084
Wow.
603
00:27:49,167 --> 00:27:52,128
-[Jason as Santa] Hello.
-This is great. Come here.
604
00:27:52,212 --> 00:27:57,050
Hello, boys and girls. Would you like
a present? What would you like?
605
00:27:57,133 --> 00:27:59,344
Why isn't Santa's mouth moving?
606
00:27:59,427 --> 00:28:01,679
Move his mouth, Maya.
You keep doing his arms.
607
00:28:01,763 --> 00:28:04,349
[Jason as Santa] It's moving.
There. Can't you see?
608
00:28:04,432 --> 00:28:06,935
Some of the kids want to sit
on Santa's lap.
609
00:28:07,018 --> 00:28:09,771
-Please sit here.
-Yep. You wanna-- Go ahead.
610
00:28:09,854 --> 00:28:13,191
-Right here.
-What happened to your beard?
611
00:28:13,274 --> 00:28:17,862
I've got no hair on my bottom of my face.
612
00:28:17,946 --> 00:28:21,074
Be sensitive.
It's called alopecia.
613
00:28:21,157 --> 00:28:24,369
Why is there red stuff on your suit?
614
00:28:24,452 --> 00:28:29,082
That's a leaky gut. Please tell me
what you want for Christmas.
615
00:28:29,165 --> 00:28:34,003
I'd like a new doll, and an art kit,
and a soccer ball.
616
00:28:34,087 --> 00:28:36,548
She doesn't get to ask for three things.
617
00:28:36,631 --> 00:28:40,135
-No, only one.
-You don't get to ask for so many things.
618
00:28:40,218 --> 00:28:42,512
You take what you get
and you don't get upset.
619
00:28:43,054 --> 00:28:45,140
[sobs]
620
00:28:45,223 --> 00:28:46,766
Santa's so mean.
621
00:28:46,850 --> 00:28:48,309
Come here, come here.
622
00:28:48,393 --> 00:28:50,895
-Mayor, what is going on?
-You're a crybaby.
623
00:28:50,979 --> 00:28:52,772
Santa, can you behave yourself?
624
00:28:52,856 --> 00:28:55,191
-You're terrible at this. Switch.
-Apologies.
625
00:28:55,275 --> 00:28:57,068
-Please hold.
-Okay.
626
00:28:57,152 --> 00:29:00,822
-Say, "Sorry about that."
-[laughs]
627
00:29:00,905 --> 00:29:03,450
-Say, "Sorry about that."
-[Maya as Santa] So sorry.
628
00:29:03,533 --> 00:29:07,704
Hey, kids, do you like TikTok?
I'm Gwen Stefani.
629
00:29:07,954 --> 00:29:10,498
[vocalizing]
630
00:29:10,915 --> 00:29:12,584
I'm dabbing! I mean, I'm dabbing.
631
00:29:12,667 --> 00:29:17,839
-Oh he's dabbing, Santa's dabbing.
-Look at me. Yay! TikTok is cool.
632
00:29:18,131 --> 00:29:19,841
Ticky, tock.
Ticky, tick tick tick.
633
00:29:19,924 --> 00:29:21,176
Ticky tok, tickey tok.
634
00:29:21,259 --> 00:29:23,219
Who wants to sit on Santa's lap?
635
00:29:23,928 --> 00:29:26,806
-Okay. What's your name?
-My name's Terence.
636
00:29:26,890 --> 00:29:30,143
-Terrence. I like that.
-What do you want for Christmas, Terrence?
637
00:29:30,226 --> 00:29:32,353
What do you want for Christmas, Terrence?
638
00:29:32,437 --> 00:29:35,440
I don't think you can give me
what I want, Santa.
639
00:29:35,523 --> 00:29:37,484
Oh yeah? Try me, bitch.
640
00:29:37,567 --> 00:29:40,403
What I want more than anything
in the world...
641
00:29:40,487 --> 00:29:42,822
-Yeah?
-...is a mommy and daddy.
642
00:29:42,906 --> 00:29:46,284
A real mommy and daddy.
A forever mommy and daddy.
643
00:29:47,368 --> 00:29:53,249
I thought maybe you can wish for it
along with me, it'll come true.
644
00:29:53,333 --> 00:29:55,376
[crying]
Wish for them. Wish for it, Maya.
645
00:29:55,460 --> 00:29:57,670
I'm wishing, I'm wishing.
646
00:29:57,754 --> 00:30:02,467
Come here. Come closer.
Put your-- Nuzzle your head in my chest.
647
00:30:02,550 --> 00:30:05,428
You're a good baby.
You're a good baby.
648
00:30:05,512 --> 00:30:08,348
I love you. How about some chocolate?
649
00:30:08,431 --> 00:30:10,183
-Do you like chocolate?
-Yeah!
650
00:30:10,266 --> 00:30:11,851
Okay, here, here you go.
651
00:30:11,935 --> 00:30:15,939
Okay... you know what?
Great, get your chocolate.
652
00:30:16,022 --> 00:30:17,857
And I think that's good.
653
00:30:17,941 --> 00:30:21,027
-Okay, we did it, everybody let's go.
-Eat it up.
654
00:30:21,110 --> 00:30:24,656
Bye, I love you guys.
My gosh, I love you guys so much.
655
00:30:24,739 --> 00:30:26,115
-Bye.
-Thank you.
656
00:30:26,199 --> 00:30:27,408
I love you.
657
00:30:27,492 --> 00:30:29,536
-[normal] My finger.
-I think we're clear.
658
00:30:29,619 --> 00:30:31,287
-My finger hurts.
-We're clear.
659
00:30:32,205 --> 00:30:36,709
We did it. We pulled it off. I didn't
think we were going to be able to do it.
660
00:30:36,793 --> 00:30:38,837
I think they really bought it.
We did it!
661
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:41,756
I think I finally figured out
what Christmas is all about.
662
00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:42,841
What is it, Terry?
663
00:30:42,966 --> 00:30:46,636
It's not about parties and noise
canceling headphones. It's about hope.
664
00:30:46,719 --> 00:30:49,138
-And we got to give those kids hope.
-Yes.
665
00:30:49,222 --> 00:30:52,183
We're gonna catch this killer
and save Christmas, right?
666
00:30:52,267 --> 00:30:54,769
-[all scream]
-Jesus Christ.
667
00:30:54,853 --> 00:30:56,855
What did you do to Santa?
668
00:30:56,938 --> 00:31:00,024
Would somebody
please help out Angie again?
669
00:31:00,900 --> 00:31:03,403
-My gosh.
-She really scared me.
670
00:31:03,486 --> 00:31:06,072
She's just-- this has been
a whole thing with Angie.
671
00:31:06,155 --> 00:31:09,242
-It all started with a big scream.
-He had to be a cat for--
672
00:31:09,325 --> 00:31:10,451
-Amber, yes.
-Terry.
673
00:31:10,535 --> 00:31:13,121
I cross referenced
the party's guest list with Johnny
674
00:31:13,204 --> 00:31:15,665
-looking for connections and I got a hit.
-Okay.
675
00:31:15,748 --> 00:31:17,959
Donna Foccacia.
676
00:31:18,042 --> 00:31:19,961
-Like the bread?
-Exactly.
677
00:31:20,044 --> 00:31:21,921
-Really?
-She's the brains and money
678
00:31:22,005 --> 00:31:24,257
behind tons of
athlete branded restaurants.
679
00:31:24,340 --> 00:31:26,134
So she's going to help us how?
680
00:31:26,217 --> 00:31:28,511
Her and Johnny were
collaborating on a project.
681
00:31:28,595 --> 00:31:30,305
You'll find her in the VIP lounge.
682
00:31:30,388 --> 00:31:31,973
-The VIP lounge?
-Yes.
683
00:31:32,056 --> 00:31:34,434
We have an exclusive club,
two floors up.
684
00:31:34,517 --> 00:31:36,519
-Here?
-City Hall's got a VIP lounge?
685
00:31:36,644 --> 00:31:38,897
Less than two hours
before the orphans wake up
686
00:31:38,980 --> 00:31:40,857
looking for their presents.
Move fast,
687
00:31:40,940 --> 00:31:44,527
and keep your cell phone on.
I want to be in constant contact.
688
00:31:44,611 --> 00:31:46,279
Do you know what this means?
689
00:31:46,362 --> 00:31:50,116
The killer's accomplice is still out there
and we got targets on our back.
690
00:31:50,199 --> 00:31:51,159
Like we're hunted?
691
00:31:51,242 --> 00:31:53,745
Yeah.
If we're going to solve this,
692
00:31:54,120 --> 00:32:00,084
the only way it's going to happen
is that if you two go deep undercover.
693
00:32:00,168 --> 00:32:04,756
[Terry] We headed to the VIP lounge
with Maya posing as an elite athlete,
694
00:32:04,839 --> 00:32:06,799
and Jason as her manager.
695
00:32:06,883 --> 00:32:09,260
We kept an eye out for the accomplice,
696
00:32:09,344 --> 00:32:14,265
but it turned out
their eye was already on us.
697
00:32:14,349 --> 00:32:18,269
[ominous music]
698
00:32:25,902 --> 00:32:29,280
Okay, this is the VIP area.
699
00:32:29,697 --> 00:32:32,075
I don't understand
why they have a VIP room.
700
00:32:32,158 --> 00:32:34,827
-You two are going in there alone.
-[both] What?
701
00:32:34,911 --> 00:32:37,956
Don't worry.
I'll be with you the entire time.
702
00:32:38,039 --> 00:32:42,001
-Yeah. You gonna pop these in your ears.
-Are these drugs?
703
00:32:42,168 --> 00:32:45,588
No, these are just ear pieces,
put one in each of your ear.
704
00:32:45,672 --> 00:32:47,966
You're gonna pitch
Donna a restaurant idea
705
00:32:48,049 --> 00:32:50,551
and try to get her talking
about Johnny Blaze.
706
00:32:50,635 --> 00:32:55,098
And I'm going to find a safe place
to hide, and I'll talk you through it.
707
00:32:55,181 --> 00:32:56,474
-You got it?
-Okay.
708
00:32:56,557 --> 00:32:58,309
Get in there.
709
00:33:05,775 --> 00:33:08,486
[pants]
710
00:33:14,158 --> 00:33:15,410
Bingo.
711
00:33:29,507 --> 00:33:31,217
Yippee Ki-Yay...
712
00:33:31,300 --> 00:33:33,803
-[clang]
-Motherfucker!
713
00:33:39,183 --> 00:33:43,271
[Donna] I said, you can slap a horse's ass
but don't expect it to kiss you.
714
00:33:43,354 --> 00:33:45,732
[Terry on radio]
Jason and Maya, can you hear me?
715
00:33:45,815 --> 00:33:46,816
[both] Yes.
716
00:33:46,899 --> 00:33:50,361
Let's get to work.
Did you find Donna?
717
00:33:50,445 --> 00:33:53,656
-Did you find Donna?
-No. Don't repeat that. Did you find her?
718
00:33:53,740 --> 00:33:57,452
-You talking about the bread lady?
-Yes, that's her. Do what I tell you to.
719
00:33:57,535 --> 00:33:59,996
-Wait till she's alone. Is she alone?
-[both] Yes.
720
00:34:00,246 --> 00:34:01,247
Go sit next to her.
721
00:34:05,209 --> 00:34:06,836
-Hi, there.
-Hi. Hello.
722
00:34:06,919 --> 00:34:08,337
Can I help you two or...
723
00:34:08,421 --> 00:34:10,548
"Good evening, ma'am.
I'm sorry to intrude."
724
00:34:10,631 --> 00:34:13,176
-Sorry to intrude. Good evening.
-Good evening.
725
00:34:13,259 --> 00:34:14,260
You're Canadian.
726
00:34:14,343 --> 00:34:16,804
Heavy accent,
like a real maple sucker.
727
00:34:16,888 --> 00:34:19,640
And there's a hat
under your seat. Check under.
728
00:34:19,724 --> 00:34:22,477
[Terry] On the floor. On the floor.
There it is.
729
00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:25,271
-[accent] How's it going, eh?
-"Sorry to intrude."
730
00:34:25,354 --> 00:34:28,024
-Sorry to intrude, eh. I'm...
-"Gordy Horton."
731
00:34:28,107 --> 00:34:31,527
-Gordy Horton.
-"I'm from Chisel Lake up in Manitoba."
732
00:34:31,611 --> 00:34:33,780
Up there in Chisel Lake,
in Manitoba.
733
00:34:33,863 --> 00:34:37,116
-"She's real cold up there, eh."
-She is real cold up there, eh.
734
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:40,453
-Yeah, I like to give her.
-Yeah, I like to give her.
735
00:34:40,536 --> 00:34:43,039
Feed her, give her.
736
00:34:43,122 --> 00:34:46,209
-I'd like you to meet my client...
-"Martina Stroyanka.
737
00:34:46,334 --> 00:34:48,169
I am Bulgarian," with a heavy accent.
738
00:34:48,252 --> 00:34:51,130
-[Bulgarian accent] Martina Stroyanka.
-Her name's Martina.
739
00:34:51,214 --> 00:34:53,508
-I'm Bulgarian.
-"From Bulgaria."
740
00:34:53,591 --> 00:34:54,759
From Bulgaria.
741
00:34:54,842 --> 00:34:58,679
-"I'm like Mrs. Bulgaria."
-I'm like Mrs. Bulgaria.
742
00:34:58,763 --> 00:35:02,100
-And what is it that you do?
-"I am basketball sporter."
743
00:35:02,183 --> 00:35:05,853
I am Bulgarian
number one basketball sporter.
744
00:35:05,937 --> 00:35:09,107
-"Huge following."
-Huge following up over there--
745
00:35:09,190 --> 00:35:11,776
-"Huge!"
-Huge!
746
00:35:11,859 --> 00:35:14,153
So big, so big!
747
00:35:14,237 --> 00:35:16,364
-Big!
-"Like a big Easter bunny."
748
00:35:16,447 --> 00:35:19,242
Like a big Easter bunny.
749
00:35:19,325 --> 00:35:22,161
"Thing is, Martina's got
this restaurant idea..."
750
00:35:22,245 --> 00:35:25,039
The thing is, Martina's
got this restaurant idea, eh,
751
00:35:25,123 --> 00:35:27,667
and it's a real beaut-- Or a real getter.
752
00:35:27,750 --> 00:35:31,754
Hey, barkeep, this a mint julep?
I said rum and Mountain Dew.
753
00:35:31,838 --> 00:35:35,842
[Donna] Get this shit out of my face.
God damn, I hate me a mint julep.
754
00:35:36,300 --> 00:35:40,179
All right, so what now? You got some
big idea you want to pitch me?
755
00:35:40,263 --> 00:35:44,600
"I want to open world's first
authentic Bulgarian pizzeria."
756
00:35:44,684 --> 00:35:48,980
I want to open world's first
authentic Bulgarian pizzeria.
757
00:35:49,063 --> 00:35:52,817
You want to serve,
like, a Bulgarian-style pizza?
758
00:35:52,900 --> 00:35:56,737
-"All the workers? Very rude."
-This is authentic Bulgarian, okay?
759
00:35:56,821 --> 00:36:00,241
-The workers, very rude.
-"And the washrooms are filthy."
760
00:36:00,324 --> 00:36:03,411
-The washrooms are filthy.
-"Everything Bulgarian."
761
00:36:03,494 --> 00:36:06,330
-Everything Bulgarian.
-"Except the pizza."
762
00:36:06,414 --> 00:36:09,584
-Except the pizza.
-"Pizza would be like Domino's."
763
00:36:09,667 --> 00:36:13,379
-The pizza would be like Domino's.
-Just roll that back for me.
764
00:36:13,462 --> 00:36:16,299
Well, the experience would be like,
uh Bulgarian, eh.
765
00:36:16,382 --> 00:36:18,718
And the ingredients.
We're gonna have--
766
00:36:18,801 --> 00:36:21,053
[Terry] "That's wrong.
It'd be like Domino's."
767
00:36:21,137 --> 00:36:23,806
No, that's wrong.
It'd be more like a Domino's.
768
00:36:23,890 --> 00:36:27,018
-"He's so stupid and wrong."
-He's so stupid and wrong.
769
00:36:27,101 --> 00:36:29,103
"She loves saying that,
but I am stupid."
770
00:36:29,187 --> 00:36:31,272
She loves saying that,
but I am stupid, eh.
771
00:36:31,355 --> 00:36:33,608
"You ever experienced
a Bulgarian bathroom?"
772
00:36:33,691 --> 00:36:35,735
You ever experienced
a Bulgarian bathroom?
773
00:36:35,818 --> 00:36:37,987
"I dropped a huge
coiler in there once, eh."
774
00:36:38,070 --> 00:36:41,115
-I dropped a coiler in there once, eh.
-"Huge coiler."
775
00:36:41,199 --> 00:36:42,158
Huge coiler!
776
00:36:42,241 --> 00:36:44,202
Huge, like a Thanksgiving coiler.
777
00:36:44,285 --> 00:36:45,286
-Okay.
-You know?
778
00:36:45,369 --> 00:36:47,788
-"But the pizza's great."
-But the pizza's great.
779
00:36:47,914 --> 00:36:49,957
I'm running the numbers here.
780
00:36:50,041 --> 00:36:54,170
-So, it's actually Domino's Pizza?
-Yeah, it would be like Domino's.
781
00:36:54,253 --> 00:36:56,505
-Now you're getting it, eh.
-"What you think?"
782
00:36:56,714 --> 00:36:59,425
-What you think?
-I got to shoot you straight.
783
00:36:59,508 --> 00:37:02,053
This is the worst idea
784
00:37:02,136 --> 00:37:06,265
I ever been pitched
in my whole life.
785
00:37:06,349 --> 00:37:09,352
-Tell her how crazy she is.
-You're crazy!
786
00:37:09,435 --> 00:37:11,312
Oh, you're crazy!
787
00:37:11,395 --> 00:37:13,814
-Let me tell you something.
-You're crazy.
788
00:37:13,898 --> 00:37:16,359
-You're close.
-You're crazy in the face.
789
00:37:16,442 --> 00:37:18,027
-Keep going.
-You're crazy.
790
00:37:18,110 --> 00:37:21,530
You make a moose look like a genius.
You allergic to money?
791
00:37:22,156 --> 00:37:25,701
You both are dumber
than a can of wet salad.
792
00:37:25,785 --> 00:37:30,248
-You're almost as dumb as Johnny Blaze.
-[gasps]
793
00:37:30,331 --> 00:37:33,918
-"You got a beef with Johnny Blaze?"
-You got a beef with Johnny Blaze?
794
00:37:34,001 --> 00:37:35,878
I got more than a beef with Johnny.
795
00:37:35,962 --> 00:37:37,546
Can you tell me more about that?
796
00:37:37,630 --> 00:37:41,801
Johnny comes to me, he says,
"I want to open up a new barbecue joint."
797
00:37:41,884 --> 00:37:46,764
So I bring Johnny right under my wing.
I teach him everything that I know.
798
00:37:46,847 --> 00:37:50,059
The dumb entrée names,
the disgustingly large portions,
799
00:37:50,142 --> 00:37:53,479
the obscene amounts
of butter on everything, okay?
800
00:37:53,562 --> 00:37:55,606
-So what did Johnny do?
-So what'd he do?
801
00:37:55,690 --> 00:38:00,194
He backs out of the deal last minute,
so he can open up his own place
802
00:38:00,278 --> 00:38:03,281
to compete with my flagship restaurant
in Times Square.
803
00:38:03,364 --> 00:38:08,494
-What's happening with the restaurant now?
-Nothing with Johnny's, because he's dead.
804
00:38:08,577 --> 00:38:10,579
Shit, my phone! My phone's ringing!
805
00:38:10,663 --> 00:38:14,709
[cellphone ringing]
806
00:38:16,752 --> 00:38:18,838
[ringing continues]
807
00:38:20,798 --> 00:38:21,757
Abort mission.
808
00:38:21,841 --> 00:38:23,884
I'm compromised.
Make an excuse and leave.
809
00:38:23,968 --> 00:38:25,177
Abort, abort, abort!
810
00:38:25,261 --> 00:38:26,554
Abort, abort, abort!
811
00:38:26,637 --> 00:38:28,848
-I gotta go pee pee.
-Me gotta pee pee, too.
812
00:38:28,931 --> 00:38:29,932
[ringing continues]
813
00:38:30,016 --> 00:38:32,810
Why didn't I put my phone
in my pocket?
814
00:38:34,228 --> 00:38:36,105
[Terry] Uh-oh. Uh-oh!
815
00:38:36,856 --> 00:38:38,357
-[Terry grunts]
-Oh!
816
00:38:38,441 --> 00:38:39,525
God!
817
00:38:39,608 --> 00:38:42,486
-[Maya] Boss?
-[Jason] Seattle?
818
00:38:42,570 --> 00:38:45,740
[cellphone continues ringing]
819
00:38:45,823 --> 00:38:47,658
Okay, come here, listen.
820
00:38:47,742 --> 00:38:49,201
Listen up.
821
00:38:49,285 --> 00:38:52,121
Someone's been trying to call me.
My phone--
822
00:38:53,414 --> 00:38:56,459
-Run!
-[intense music]
823
00:39:02,465 --> 00:39:06,260
[Terry] Having finally lost the accomplice
in the bowels of City Hall,
824
00:39:06,344 --> 00:39:08,471
I was able to answer my phone.
825
00:39:08,554 --> 00:39:12,933
It was a cold call from an
air duct repair service slash psychic.
826
00:39:13,017 --> 00:39:17,104
With only 30 minutes till sunrise,
we headed back to the party room.
827
00:39:17,188 --> 00:39:21,108
It was time to close this case
and save Christmas.
828
00:39:21,192 --> 00:39:23,444
-[Angie yells, sobs]
-Angie, please.
829
00:39:23,527 --> 00:39:26,822
Would you just deal with yourself for--
830
00:39:26,947 --> 00:39:28,074
-[Jason] Hi.
-Hi.
831
00:39:28,157 --> 00:39:30,910
Will you please, please
tell me that you know
832
00:39:31,702 --> 00:39:32,953
who killed Johnny Blaze?
833
00:39:33,996 --> 00:39:35,790
-I've gotta--
-Um, maybe...
834
00:39:35,873 --> 00:39:36,874
Ugh!
835
00:39:36,957 --> 00:39:41,003
Are you kidding me? I knew you three
couldn't handle this alone.
836
00:39:41,087 --> 00:39:43,464
And that is why I called in more backup.
837
00:39:43,547 --> 00:39:44,840
-What?
-What? No, come on.
838
00:39:44,924 --> 00:39:46,384
Come on out, Pete.
839
00:39:46,467 --> 00:39:48,344
-What?
-Pete, come on. Come here.
840
00:39:48,427 --> 00:39:51,389
-For the love of Pete!
-[Palmer] Can you stand there please?
841
00:39:51,472 --> 00:39:54,141
This is Pete Davidson,
he's joining the investigation.
842
00:39:54,225 --> 00:39:56,852
-Oh, I know who he is.
-Great to have you on the team.
843
00:39:56,936 --> 00:39:58,562
Why did he just get here?
844
00:39:58,646 --> 00:40:01,273
-[Terry] Where've you been?
-[Jason] Fresh eyes, ears.
845
00:40:01,357 --> 00:40:02,608
-I'm confused.
-[laughs]
846
00:40:02,691 --> 00:40:04,026
[Terry] Know anything about
847
00:40:04,110 --> 00:40:05,820
-what we're doing here?
-Not at all.
848
00:40:05,903 --> 00:40:09,323
Okay. Jason, Maya, please,
in 15 seconds just explain to him.
849
00:40:09,407 --> 00:40:11,534
A naked guy
that hugged Jason.
850
00:40:11,617 --> 00:40:13,994
Yeah. He's a ginger.
Santa's been stabbed
851
00:40:14,078 --> 00:40:16,414
-by a pointy candy cane.
-AKA, Johnny Blaze.
852
00:40:16,497 --> 00:40:18,207
Hall of Fame quarterback.
853
00:40:18,833 --> 00:40:19,834
And...
854
00:40:19,917 --> 00:40:23,087
Stabbed with a candy cane
that was sucked to a point.
855
00:40:23,170 --> 00:40:25,005
-Sucked all the way to a point.
-Whoa.
856
00:40:25,089 --> 00:40:26,590
-There was an assistant.
-Sure.
857
00:40:26,674 --> 00:40:28,175
[Jason] She seemed guilty.
858
00:40:28,259 --> 00:40:30,594
-Very.
-She likes mint breath spray.
859
00:40:30,678 --> 00:40:31,762
-It's her.
-So--
860
00:40:31,846 --> 00:40:33,180
-Johnny--
-It's her!
861
00:40:33,264 --> 00:40:35,933
-No it's her. She sucked a candy cane--
-What do you--
862
00:40:36,016 --> 00:40:37,476
Because she likes mint.
863
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:40,062
What about the bread lady?
And the butter?
864
00:40:40,146 --> 00:40:42,356
-I don't know about bread.
-There was butter.
865
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:45,901
There was empty butter pats
on the table in front of the gal
866
00:40:45,985 --> 00:40:48,362
-we were pitching to.
-Wait, there were?
867
00:40:48,446 --> 00:40:50,406
Yeah. I pay attention.
868
00:40:50,489 --> 00:40:53,784
You're out of time, so we gotta decide.
We're gonna head over here.
869
00:40:53,868 --> 00:40:55,828
On your way,
each of you grab a present.
870
00:40:55,911 --> 00:40:56,787
-Okay?
-Okay.
871
00:40:56,871 --> 00:41:00,207
-Come on, Terry, you got 15 minutes.
-Okay. All right.
872
00:41:01,709 --> 00:41:05,129
I know this isn't how you wanted to spend
your evening, locked up.
873
00:41:05,212 --> 00:41:08,048
It was the only way to
solve the murder of Johnny Blaze.
874
00:41:08,382 --> 00:41:10,009
Time to find out if
875
00:41:10,092 --> 00:41:14,346
Jason, Maya, and Pete,
know who is responsible.
876
00:41:15,181 --> 00:41:18,476
Was it Jim Trentley?
877
00:41:18,559 --> 00:41:22,396
Mia Briggs?
Or Donna Foccacia?
878
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:24,648
-[laughs]
-Hey, man.
879
00:41:26,108 --> 00:41:28,611
She's had to live with that
her whole life.
880
00:41:28,694 --> 00:41:29,862
Dick's like you.
881
00:41:29,945 --> 00:41:33,616
-Fuckin' asshole.
-So, each one of you is holding a present.
882
00:41:33,699 --> 00:41:34,825
-Please.
-Yeah.
883
00:41:34,909 --> 00:41:38,913
You're going to hand it to the person
you think murdered Johnny Blaze.
884
00:41:38,996 --> 00:41:41,332
Maya, you're going to go first.
885
00:41:41,415 --> 00:41:45,085
[tense music playing]
886
00:41:49,173 --> 00:41:50,841
[Jason] Really think about it.
887
00:41:51,592 --> 00:41:53,928
-Here you go.
-[all gasp]
888
00:41:54,011 --> 00:41:56,347
What?
889
00:41:56,430 --> 00:42:00,684
-How dare you? I'm so insulted.
-I'm just doing my job.
890
00:42:00,768 --> 00:42:04,188
-She's making an informed guess.
-Naming the Mayor as the killer?
891
00:42:05,022 --> 00:42:07,399
I think that, that shows real gumption.
892
00:42:07,858 --> 00:42:10,110
I don't know if she did it yet.
893
00:42:10,194 --> 00:42:12,530
We're going to find out.
Jason, it's up to you.
894
00:42:13,030 --> 00:42:16,242
-Who do you think murdered Johnny Blaze?
-I got it, thank you.
895
00:42:22,748 --> 00:42:24,833
-Jesus.
-Suicide.
896
00:42:24,917 --> 00:42:28,796
-Wow.
-[Palmer] This is unorthodox.
897
00:42:29,588 --> 00:42:33,425
-Okay. I've seen his work.
-Nothing indicated suicide.
898
00:42:33,509 --> 00:42:38,264
Sure it does. The guy was a quarterback,
and then he became Santa at City Hall.
899
00:42:38,347 --> 00:42:41,433
-How did he stab himself with the...
-He licked himself lousy
900
00:42:41,517 --> 00:42:45,312
-then stuck it in his gut.
-Licked it, then he sticked it.
901
00:42:45,396 --> 00:42:47,022
-Okay?
-You guys are good.
902
00:42:47,106 --> 00:42:48,524
We're teeing up Pete here.
903
00:42:48,607 --> 00:42:51,485
-We're fond of him. Here he goes.
-[Terry] All right, Pete.
904
00:42:51,569 --> 00:42:54,780
Based on this entire case
that you've had the luxury of studying,
905
00:42:54,863 --> 00:42:57,700
who do you think killed Johnny Blaze?
906
00:42:57,783 --> 00:42:59,243
Who's the spearmint lady?
907
00:42:59,326 --> 00:43:01,203
-Pink pants.
-Okay, it's her,
908
00:43:04,623 --> 00:43:06,250
But I'm gonna be a dick.
909
00:43:07,459 --> 00:43:10,087
-[Terry gasps]
-[Maya laughs]
910
00:43:10,713 --> 00:43:11,839
[groans]
911
00:43:11,922 --> 00:43:13,591
I think you're up to something.
912
00:43:13,674 --> 00:43:15,342
-So, just to recap...
-Yep.
913
00:43:15,426 --> 00:43:17,219
Maya, you think the Mayor did it?
914
00:43:17,886 --> 00:43:19,221
The fuck?
915
00:43:19,722 --> 00:43:22,141
Jason, you think
that he committed suicide?
916
00:43:22,224 --> 00:43:23,100
I would.
917
00:43:23,183 --> 00:43:24,602
[Maya laughs]
918
00:43:25,311 --> 00:43:27,730
-And Pete, you think I did it?
-Yeah.
919
00:43:30,608 --> 00:43:33,235
So we had three suspects,
and you chose none of them.
920
00:43:33,319 --> 00:43:34,361
Yes.
921
00:43:35,321 --> 00:43:37,281
-Fantastic.
-Now what?
922
00:43:37,364 --> 00:43:40,075
Listen here, there is a mountain
of evidence out there.
923
00:43:40,159 --> 00:43:45,039
So whoever did commit this murder, please,
now is your chance to come clean.
924
00:43:45,122 --> 00:43:50,252
You may think that all you've done is
killed legendary quarterback Johnny Blaze.
925
00:43:50,836 --> 00:43:54,965
But what you've really done is you've
committed the most heinous act of all.
926
00:43:55,049 --> 00:43:59,678
If we don't get those presents to those
orphans in the next 12 minutes
927
00:44:00,512 --> 00:44:04,308
those kids are going to stop
believing in Santa
928
00:44:04,391 --> 00:44:09,021
and you will have
murdered the spirit of Christmas.
929
00:44:10,731 --> 00:44:11,690
Who did it?
930
00:44:16,028 --> 00:44:18,489
-I can't take it anymore.
-[all gasp]
931
00:44:18,572 --> 00:44:20,240
It was me, I did it!
932
00:44:20,324 --> 00:44:22,785
-Why?
-How the fuck was I supposed to know that?
933
00:44:22,868 --> 00:44:24,161
I've never met you before.
934
00:44:24,244 --> 00:44:27,873
Legendary Channel Five
sports anchor Jim Trentley!
935
00:44:27,956 --> 00:44:31,251
I didn't have anywhere else to go.
I didn't have the money,
936
00:44:31,335 --> 00:44:35,297
he was going to tell everybody
about my debt, ruin my TV career.
937
00:44:35,381 --> 00:44:38,175
Yes, of course.
Of course. It had to be you.
938
00:44:38,258 --> 00:44:41,512
Jason heard the sound
of jingle bells during the murder.
939
00:44:41,595 --> 00:44:44,390
Jim was the one who had that
ugly bell sweater.
940
00:44:44,473 --> 00:44:46,308
-Hey...
-Sorry.
941
00:44:46,392 --> 00:44:48,310
Jim was drinking peppermint schnapps.
942
00:44:48,394 --> 00:44:50,979
We know the killer
liked the taste of mint.
943
00:44:51,063 --> 00:44:54,817
Donna sent back her mint julep.
She hated it when you were at the bar.
944
00:44:54,900 --> 00:44:58,153
This a mint julep? I said rum and
Mountain Dew, get this shit out.
945
00:44:58,237 --> 00:45:02,241
Finally there's the name tag issue.
Everybody's name tag was smudged.
946
00:45:02,324 --> 00:45:06,078
We found the smudged name tag
in the hand of Johnny Blaze.
947
00:45:06,161 --> 00:45:08,914
Which means the killer
must've made a second name tag.
948
00:45:08,997 --> 00:45:14,628
Only one person didn't have a smudged
name tag and that was Jim Trentley.
949
00:45:14,711 --> 00:45:16,171
Call me Jim.
950
00:45:16,255 --> 00:45:18,924
And his was signed
with a brand new red Sharpie
951
00:45:19,007 --> 00:45:22,511
that matched the headshot
that you signed for me.
952
00:45:22,594 --> 00:45:23,637
Wow.
953
00:45:25,514 --> 00:45:26,890
I'm going to jail, aren't I?
954
00:45:26,974 --> 00:45:30,936
You're not only going to jail,
you're also going to hell.
955
00:45:31,019 --> 00:45:32,646
Do they have golf in jail?
956
00:45:32,729 --> 00:45:34,273
Golf! Of course!
957
00:45:34,356 --> 00:45:38,235
That adds up. We thought
Johnny Blaze's last words were "butter."
958
00:45:38,318 --> 00:45:41,905
-Butter.
-But it wasn't "butter." It was "putter."
959
00:45:43,031 --> 00:45:45,409
-Oh.
-Oh, my gosh.
960
00:45:45,492 --> 00:45:47,744
-That's a twist.
-This guy's crying.
961
00:45:47,828 --> 00:45:49,913
It's so fucking sad.
962
00:45:49,997 --> 00:45:52,541
He was trying to tell us who
the killer was.
963
00:45:52,624 --> 00:45:54,084
But there was an accomplice.
964
00:45:54,168 --> 00:45:56,170
-Who turned off the lights?
-Thank you.
965
00:45:56,253 --> 00:45:59,923
The accomplice
was Jim Trentley's new girl, Angie!
966
00:46:00,382 --> 00:46:01,425
What?
967
00:46:01,508 --> 00:46:03,927
Jim told us his new
lady friend had magic hands.
968
00:46:04,011 --> 00:46:07,806
Guess who was wrapping the orphan's
presents at lightning speed?
969
00:46:07,890 --> 00:46:09,975
She was the one
hunting us in the hallway.
970
00:46:10,058 --> 00:46:12,269
She wasn't out of breath
from a panic attack,
971
00:46:12,352 --> 00:46:17,566
but from running the hallways
in a ski mask, trying to take us out.
972
00:46:18,108 --> 00:46:22,654
Jim, you idiot! I told you
to not talk about my magic hands.
973
00:46:22,738 --> 00:46:27,576
-I love you, Boo Boo.
-Hey, Jim, why don't you go fuck yourself?
974
00:46:27,659 --> 00:46:29,953
Officers, take him away.
975
00:46:30,579 --> 00:46:34,082
But nobody even gave me a present.
If nobody got it...
976
00:46:34,166 --> 00:46:36,502
Can't I-- That's rude.
977
00:46:37,836 --> 00:46:41,632
-Well, thanks for having me.
-That was crazy. Thank God it's all over.
978
00:46:41,715 --> 00:46:42,883
Detective!
979
00:46:42,966 --> 00:46:46,094
-Uh-oh.
-You wanted a present from the table?
980
00:46:46,178 --> 00:46:51,058
Well, my magic hands
wrapped something nice and big for you,
981
00:46:51,141 --> 00:46:54,186
and it's going to blow you away!
982
00:46:55,687 --> 00:46:58,982
-Oh, no.
-[beeping]
983
00:46:59,066 --> 00:47:00,067
Careful.
984
00:47:01,068 --> 00:47:03,028
[all gasp]
985
00:47:03,111 --> 00:47:04,571
A real bomb!
986
00:47:05,739 --> 00:47:08,534
-Look, we need to evacuate.
-No time for that.
987
00:47:08,617 --> 00:47:10,827
This entire building is going to blow.
988
00:47:10,911 --> 00:47:14,039
-Fifty-five seconds, MacGruber!
-Let me see it.
989
00:47:14,957 --> 00:47:17,668
Oh my God! There are three wires,
red, green, and blue.
990
00:47:17,751 --> 00:47:19,169
-Right.
-No!
991
00:47:20,003 --> 00:47:21,880
-You're lucky.
-[Jason] Good instincts.
992
00:47:21,964 --> 00:47:23,340
We're not prepared for that.
993
00:47:23,423 --> 00:47:25,759
Cut the correct wire,
the bomb will disarm.
994
00:47:25,842 --> 00:47:28,345
If you cut the wrong one, we all die.
995
00:47:28,428 --> 00:47:32,349
You seem comfortable with explosives.
You have to run point on this.
996
00:47:32,432 --> 00:47:34,268
Cut the right one, you decide.
997
00:47:34,351 --> 00:47:37,229
Consensus.
Talk together about what to do.
998
00:47:37,312 --> 00:47:39,565
[Jason] I think maybe red,
the pliers are red.
999
00:47:39,648 --> 00:47:42,526
I think blue because
it's the only non Christmas color.
1000
00:47:42,609 --> 00:47:44,444
We're running out of time here.
1001
00:47:44,528 --> 00:47:47,573
I'm thinking we just go like,
three, two, one, go?
1002
00:47:47,656 --> 00:47:49,700
Or do we go one, two, three?
1003
00:47:49,783 --> 00:47:52,786
-Do we do it on three?
-We don't have time for this!
1004
00:47:52,869 --> 00:47:53,870
Here we go!
1005
00:47:55,289 --> 00:47:57,833
Two! One!
1006
00:48:01,211 --> 00:48:04,298
[cheering]
1007
00:48:06,258 --> 00:48:09,928
Pete Davidson saved Christmas
and saved the day.
1008
00:48:10,012 --> 00:48:11,263
You're the hero.
1009
00:48:11,346 --> 00:48:13,390
[all] Pete, Pete, Pete,
1010
00:48:13,473 --> 00:48:16,768
Pete, Pete, Pete, Pete, Pete,
1011
00:48:16,852 --> 00:48:21,064
-Pete, Pete, Pete!
-That was some crazy shit.
1012
00:48:21,148 --> 00:48:22,065
-Fantastic.
-Wow.
1013
00:48:22,149 --> 00:48:24,901
Pete, you came in last second,
you really saved the day.
1014
00:48:24,985 --> 00:48:26,236
-Thanks.
-[Maya] Good job.
1015
00:48:26,403 --> 00:48:30,324
You trusted your gut. It's a holiday
I'm never gonna forget. I know.
1016
00:48:30,407 --> 00:48:32,951
I want to thank you all
for coming down here.
1017
00:48:33,035 --> 00:48:36,371
It's been an incredible journey, but...
1018
00:48:36,455 --> 00:48:37,789
Thanks so much, Terry.
1019
00:48:39,333 --> 00:48:40,667
What's wrong, Mayor?
1020
00:48:40,751 --> 00:48:44,880
Well, the day may be saved,
but not the spirit of Christmas.
1021
00:48:45,464 --> 00:48:48,592
-God dang it, the orphans.
-We only have six minutes to sunrise.
1022
00:48:48,675 --> 00:48:51,428
Those kids are about to
wake up with no presents at all.
1023
00:48:51,511 --> 00:48:54,640
No, they're not.
Somebody get me the Santa suit.
1024
00:48:54,723 --> 00:48:58,769
I'm dreaming of an orange Christmas.
1025
00:48:58,852 --> 00:49:03,857
[rock music]
1026
00:49:03,940 --> 00:49:07,903
On Donnor, on Blitzen, on Rampage!
1027
00:49:17,996 --> 00:49:21,124
Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas!
1028
00:49:21,291 --> 00:49:22,793
[gifts shattering, crunching]
1029
00:49:22,959 --> 00:49:26,004
-Santa, you really came!
-And your beard grew back!
1030
00:49:26,088 --> 00:49:27,381
[Terry] Of course I came.
1031
00:49:27,464 --> 00:49:30,425
Every good girl and boy
deserves a present on Christmas.
1032
00:49:34,388 --> 00:49:38,725
Thank you, Terry. I mean, Santa.
You saved Christmas.
1033
00:49:38,809 --> 00:49:44,606
On the contrary, Christmas saved me.
1034
00:49:52,072 --> 00:49:52,906
What?
1035
00:49:56,326 --> 00:49:58,995
"To Terry, from Santa?"
1036
00:50:04,292 --> 00:50:09,172
It's a Christmas miracle.
My noise canceling headphones!
1037
00:50:09,923 --> 00:50:13,218
-Where's your present, Terry?
-I didn't get one.
1038
00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:17,431
I guess Santa felt
I didn't deserve one.
1039
00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:20,350
No, I'm sure we just can't--
1040
00:50:20,434 --> 00:50:23,687
-Maybe Santa--
-They really work! I can't hear shit!
1041
00:50:26,231 --> 00:50:27,149
Terry!
1042
00:50:28,233 --> 00:50:30,402
Terry, those aren't for you.
1043
00:50:30,485 --> 00:50:34,281
-Those aren't for you!
-I really can't hear shit.
1044
00:50:34,698 --> 00:50:35,991
Terry!
1045
00:50:36,074 --> 00:50:38,535
It was for Orphan Terry.
1046
00:50:39,661 --> 00:50:41,329
[Terry] The holiday spirit.
1047
00:50:41,413 --> 00:50:44,124
You can't wrap it up
and put it under the tree,
1048
00:50:44,207 --> 00:50:47,961
but it's still the most
valuable gift I've ever received.
1049
00:50:48,628 --> 00:50:50,881
After the headphones, of course.
1050
00:50:59,264 --> 00:51:01,475
[end theme music plays]
1051
00:51:58,156 --> 00:51:59,324
[music fades]
1052
00:52:02,285 --> 00:52:03,578
[growling]