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[spooky music playing]
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A VAMPIRE IN THE FAMILY
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Oh man, are we live? We're live!
Oh, hey, my friends!
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{\an8}We are here. Welcome, everyone,
to the podcast most watched by Brazil.
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{\an8}My name is Fernandinho Tramontina,
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{\an8}- and this is show is called...
- The Ball is Yours, Fernandinho!
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{\an8}[stadium cheering]
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{\an8}THE BALL IS YOURS, FERNANDINHO!
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{\an8}- Hey, hey, Ameba! Ameba!
- [motor humming]
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{\an8}- The door's coming up.
- [Ameba] Sorry about that, Fernandinho.
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{\an8}- Hey, Ameba, think this through.
- Go ahead.
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{\an8}Anyway, let's keep it moving on.
You can submit your questions to us.
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{\an8}Right, Ameba? Pass it to me here.
We already have one here.
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{\an8}- A question from Batista.
- Hey, Batista.
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{\an8}"Claudionor, have you ever in your life
missed an easy goal or thrown a match,
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{\an8}much like Fernandinho has?
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{\an8}I wanna be clear.
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{\an8}I have never in my entire life,
never, ever thrown a single match.
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{\an8}What happened was a mosquito flew into
my nose when I tried to score the goal.
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{\an8}Was it the championship final? Did I miss
the goal and lose the championship?
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{\an8}Yes, that is what happened.
Play the tape, Ameba.
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{\an8}I'll show them and I'll prove it.
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{\an8}- We can't do another...
- It's my show.
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{\an8}When you have your show, do what you want.
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{\an8}Ameba, please. This is the moment
I have possession of the ball.
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{\an8}- That's some skill.
- [Claudionor] Good one.
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{\an8}I was taking over.
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{\an8}I was so fast. Just incredible.
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{\an8}I ran, ran with the ball, I was going...
taking over...
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Look, I tackled the goalkeeper here.
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Here's the goal, and there's the kick.
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[commentator] ...sets off the bar
and he misses!
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Play it in slow motion.
In slow motion you'll see it.
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The exact moment
a mosquito flew into my nose.
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- Here, off to the side.
- You can't see it.
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Here is living proof that there's no way
I betrayed Vasco. No way!
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Why don't you give me a break, will you?
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You played for Flamengo
the following year, man.
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Ameba, I'm ready for the next question.
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- Fernandinho, see you next show, huh?
- When we're here, call me Mr. Fernando.
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My bad, Mr. Fernandi... Mr. Fernando.
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Sweetheart, isn't Neymar coming?
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You know, honey? Chicão didn't invite him.
Can you believe it?
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Fernandinho, you promised our daughter
Neymar would be here.
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[titters]
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- Everyone's waiting, sweetheart.
- I know, honey, I'm so sorry.
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She's already upset
over the green banana biomass fudge.
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- She won't even remember.
- Won't she? That's all she talked about.
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- Oh, but children forget.
- Neymar isn't coming?
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I wanted us to shoot a TikTok video.
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You can shoot it with Daddy. You know,
Daddy was a famous soccer player as well.
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Dad, you're not famous anymore.
Get over it.
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A daughter's love
is such a beautiful thing.
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- Go after the other one. I got this one.
- Okay, just let me brush my teeth. [gags]
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Hi, sweetheart.
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- How you feeling?
- [daughter] Mm-hmm.
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Yeah?
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Listen, it's almost dark already.
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- They're waiting for you downstairs.
- Mm-hmm.
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You're not paying attention
to what I'm saying, are you?
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Uh-huh.
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No matter what I say
you'll just respond with "uh-huh"?
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Mm-hmm.
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Hey, Carol, come on.
I'm being serious with you.
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Come downstairs for a minute.
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God, I don't want to, Dad.
I don't like going to birthday parties.
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- Especially ones with chuchu jelly rolls.
- Oh, my God.
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Thanks for the warning. [chuckles]
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Hey... [clears throat] ...listen,
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are you thinking you'll take
that poster of the devil off the wall?
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I told you before it's not the devil.
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I'm asking because I miss when there was
that Dora the Explorer poster up there.
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That was ten years ago, wasn't it?
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Anything is better than this beast
with the horns. It's a very dark energy.
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- Just from been up close, you can feel...
- [Carol] Dad...
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That's Ravengoroki. He's a character
from the anime Hayu Mokusha. A good guy.
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- Relax.
- Come on.
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Just for five minutes?
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- Please?
- Okay, okay, I'll think about it.
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[mimicking Carol] Ok-k-k-k...
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I'll be downstairs, okay?
[clicking fingers]
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A very dark energy. It's so negative.
This side is warm.
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I could be running a fever.
I'll be waiting.
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[ominous music playing]
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Stop it, don't play with that!
Don't play with that!
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That's mine. That was hard work.
This is not a drum! Stop it!
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For God's sake, going through my stuff.
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- Don't touch my things!
- [woman] Honey!
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- Yes, honey.
- [woman] Is Carol not joining us?
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No, I told her to come down.
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You know, at some point,
I lost the connection with my daughter.
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I don't know what I did wrong,
what happened.
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- We're singing "Happy Birthday."
- [doorbell]
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- Someone's at the door.
- Answer it. I'm cutting the cake.
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Ridiculous, this is not the time
to get to a child's party.
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It's dark outside.
People do anything for free food.
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It's outrageous. I can't...
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- [energy crackling]
- [groans]
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Heavy energy.
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Wow, it's like a... Mm-hmm.
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Strange.
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[loud creaking]
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Good evening.
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[ominously] Don't you remember me?
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- Oh, honestly...
- [thunder rolls]
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I'm... I'm sorry. No, I don't. Sorry.
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- [gasps]
- It's me, bro-in-law!
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- Oh, Gregório!
- It's me, man!
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- Been so long!
- We're on kissing terms?
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- [chuckling]
- [Fernandinho] Everything's good, yeah.
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Won't you invite me in?
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Oh, no... Yeah. Uh... well, of course.
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- Come in, Gregório.
- [Gregório laughs]
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Great.
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The kiss was unnecessary.
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There's Vanessa.
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- In a second.
- [Vanessa] Okay, come on.
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Gregório? Ah!
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Little brother!
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Oh my God, I just can't believe
you're here!
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- Oh, boy, me neither.
- Jeez!
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Wait! The cake can wait.
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Listen, everyone.
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The cake will have to wait.
A special visitor has arrived.
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I'd like you all to meet him.
This is Gregório, my brother.
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Little brother. But he is taller than me.
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This is my brother-in-law, Gregório.
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He basically disappeared for five years.
We never heard from him.
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I bet there's a story
behind falling off the face of the earth.
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For sure. And we want to hear everything.
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- I want to know everything.
- Uncle Greg?
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- Hi, Uncle!
- Carol? Little Carol!
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- I'm blown away, Carol.
- I've missed you!
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- Holy mo, you're big Carol, now.
- No, it's little Carol.
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- Good job there, Pop. You're gorgeous.
- What the heck?
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- Uncle!
- Something's outta place.
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[Vanessa] Fernandinho, be a host.
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- Offer him something to drink.
- My backpack.
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Yes, get his backpack.
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- 'Cause Greg is our guest. Right, honey?
- Come on.
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- [Vanessa] I want to know everything.
- I'll take this up.
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- [Vanessa] Where have you been?
- This is so nice.
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I'll tell you everything.
So much has happened.
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- [thud] Oh, dear Lord! Jeez, that's heavy!
- What is it?
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Is there a body in here?
It's incredibly heavy! Hang on.
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Hang on.
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- Fernandinho, please.
- Fernandinho... Stop.
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Oh God, I think it's my hernia back again.
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- Oh, God, help me out.
- [all laughing]
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It's not a matter of muscle, it's just...
I got it, come on. Please!
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There's always something.
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- [Gregório] Ibiza is amazing.
- Yeah.
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I deejayed in so many clubs.
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- So many clubs.
- That's a good gig. Lots of work.
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It's a sweet job. Good money.
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Guess who I met there?
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- David Guetta. Really cool guy.
- [Carol gasps]
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I love him. No way. Did you get a photo?
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No, didn't take pictures. I hate pictures.
Especially with me in them.
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Ha! Why's that?
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The police after you?
Are you on the run? Are you a fugitive?
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What are you doing, Fernandinho?
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You don't even take selfies or anything?
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- [Gregório] No.
- You know, like this?
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No, not even selfies.
My phone's ancient. Doesn't have a camera.
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That's the kind of phone
a drug lord might use.
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[Vanessa] Fernandinho!
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- What?
- That's enough. There's a limit.
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I'm joking. No, I'm joking,
right? Bro-law?
170
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That's pushing it kind of far,
Fernandinho.
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No, because I'm being honest here.
Five years, he disappeared.
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Not a word. Gone like a fart in the wind.
We never heard from him.
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- It's like he didn't exist.
- Hmm.
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He doesn't take pictures,
has no social accounts,
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and uses a phone that's prehistoric.
Practically has a rotary. Chugga-chugga.
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Chugga, you know?
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- Anyone else find it strange?
- Fernandinho.
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We're having a pleasant conversation.
179
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Now everyone feels awkward, right?
It's just uncomfortable.
180
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Hey, sis, please don't worry.
He... He's right.
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- He's right, yeah.
- Thank you.
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[Gregório] I'm very sorry.
183
00:07:55,416 --> 00:07:58,333
I was traveling for a long, long time.
I never called, never got in touch.
184
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But that's what I wanted.
I wanted to explore the world.
185
00:08:01,708 --> 00:08:03,625
I wanted to roam free,
with no one to answer to,
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wanted this experience for myself.
187
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I've always wanted to do that.
188
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- Yeah, me too. I've dreamed of that.
- Since when is this your dream?
189
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My God, honey, let me dream. Is that okay?
190
00:08:13,458 --> 00:08:15,041
What was your favorite country?
191
00:08:15,125 --> 00:08:16,750
Romania, for sure.
192
00:08:16,833 --> 00:08:19,500
- Oh, yeah, I bet. Weirdo.
- Romania. I'd love to visit one day.
193
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Can we see Romania, Dad?
194
00:08:20,958 --> 00:08:22,458
Let's stick with Beto Carrero.
195
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It's nearby, they've got the rides...
196
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,708
[imitating roller coaster]
197
00:08:26,791 --> 00:08:28,666
The roller coaster... [whoops]
198
00:08:28,750 --> 00:08:29,875
Who goes to Romania?
199
00:08:29,958 --> 00:08:33,458
Do travel agents sell package deals
for Romania? "Visit Romania!"
200
00:08:33,541 --> 00:08:36,500
Tell me, you ever see a T-shirt
that's like, "I love Romania"? Not me.
201
00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:40,833
Here's the thing. Romania's the most
beautiful country I've laid my eyes on.
202
00:08:40,916 --> 00:08:42,375
The best bars too.
203
00:08:42,458 --> 00:08:44,375
And I'll tell you something else.
204
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The girls in Romania are
almost as pretty as the girls in Brazil.
205
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- Oh!
- [simpering]
206
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He's such a charmer.
207
00:08:51,750 --> 00:08:54,708
He's always been this way.
Ever since we were kids.
208
00:08:54,791 --> 00:08:56,541
He's always been a Casanova.
209
00:08:56,625 --> 00:08:59,541
Me too. I've always been a Casanova.
210
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- I tell you, I used to...
- [Vanessa] No.
211
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:03,833
- Not you. You were a scoundrel.
- No!
212
00:09:03,916 --> 00:09:08,041
Why is your brother a Casanova
and I'm a scoundrel? I don't get it.
213
00:09:08,125 --> 00:09:10,375
- Honey, are you hungry? Something to eat?
- Is that chuchu?
214
00:09:10,458 --> 00:09:12,833
- No, it's cheese.
- Oh, it's cheese. I'll have some.
215
00:09:13,375 --> 00:09:15,083
- Is it goat cheese?
- It's tofu.
216
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[indistinctly] What's in my mouth?
217
00:09:17,333 --> 00:09:20,333
- What do I...
- No, wait, don't spit into the pool.
218
00:09:20,416 --> 00:09:21,833
Please forgive him. I'm sorry.
219
00:09:21,916 --> 00:09:24,208
- Tofu?
- Yes, it's delicious. Anyone want any?
220
00:09:24,291 --> 00:09:25,833
- Tofu sucks for real.
- No, I love it.
221
00:09:25,916 --> 00:09:26,958
- Delicious.
- [Vanessa] Yeah?
222
00:09:27,041 --> 00:09:30,166
By the way, did I tell you?
The trip completely changed me.
223
00:09:30,250 --> 00:09:31,708
- No.
- Yeah, now I'm vegan.
224
00:09:31,791 --> 00:09:32,791
You're vegan now?
225
00:09:32,875 --> 00:09:36,541
[Gregório] I'm vegan. I've realized
animals have the right to live like we do.
226
00:09:36,625 --> 00:09:37,500
Don't you think?
227
00:09:37,583 --> 00:09:39,208
- Ay.
- [women simpering]
228
00:09:39,291 --> 00:09:41,208
- Sexy...
- [Vanessa] Look...
229
00:09:41,291 --> 00:09:43,458
- Come on! That's bull!
- [Vanessa] What is it?
230
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:46,750
Listen, I'm getting a burger right now.
Who wants a burger?
231
00:09:46,833 --> 00:09:47,958
I'll have a burger.
232
00:09:48,041 --> 00:09:50,458
- [Fernandinho] Who's in? Go to hell!
- Amazing! You're vegan!
233
00:09:50,541 --> 00:09:54,875
Sweetie, I'm curious.
How long will your brother be staying?
234
00:09:54,958 --> 00:09:57,208
Honey, come on, stop picking on him.
235
00:09:57,291 --> 00:09:59,666
Oh, please. Why would I pick on him?
236
00:09:59,750 --> 00:10:03,625
Why? Because Greg is kind, manly,
adventurous, handsome...
237
00:10:03,708 --> 00:10:07,375
I'm sure. But has he ever scored
three goals in a final match
238
00:10:07,458 --> 00:10:08,583
at a packed stadium?
239
00:10:08,666 --> 00:10:11,166
- Hmm, no, he hasn't.
- He hasn't.
240
00:10:11,250 --> 00:10:12,916
You are amazing too, baby.
241
00:10:15,291 --> 00:10:18,375
But don't worry, honey.
Greg is only staying a few days.
242
00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:21,708
Until he finds an apartment,
a studio, a house, something that'll work.
243
00:10:21,791 --> 00:10:24,458
- It's not happening.
- I know, I was just adjusting it.
244
00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:26,291
Ah!
245
00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:29,208
Honey, you won't even notice
he's here. [sighs]
246
00:10:29,291 --> 00:10:30,958
[scoffs] You sure?
247
00:10:31,041 --> 00:10:34,125
["Na Aba" by Bezerra da Silva playing]
248
00:10:36,791 --> 00:10:39,750
[indistinct commentator on TV]
249
00:10:39,833 --> 00:10:41,208
Uh... Uh, could you...?
250
00:10:42,541 --> 00:10:45,500
Hey, I'm trying to watch this, all right?
251
00:10:47,250 --> 00:10:48,750
[commentator shouts excitedly]
252
00:10:49,708 --> 00:10:51,083
[music continues]
253
00:10:52,625 --> 00:10:54,333
[sobbing]
254
00:10:59,583 --> 00:11:00,875
[agonized groan]
255
00:11:02,625 --> 00:11:04,000
- [engine revs]
- Hey!
256
00:11:04,083 --> 00:11:06,583
Bro-in-law, unfortunately,
I can't let you use the car tonight.
257
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,208
What do you mean? It's my car!
258
00:11:08,291 --> 00:11:10,291
[music continues]
259
00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:16,375
- [Gregório] Thanks!
- [tires screech]
260
00:11:16,458 --> 00:11:18,916
Vanessa, grab your phone! Call me an Uber.
261
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,416
[fart]
262
00:11:22,250 --> 00:11:23,291
Ugh...
263
00:11:25,708 --> 00:11:27,958
[muted dialogue]
264
00:11:31,708 --> 00:11:35,041
Hey, maybe that's a little bit
too tight for you.
265
00:11:37,458 --> 00:11:38,875
- Hey!
- Nice, Dad!
266
00:11:40,250 --> 00:11:42,375
And he goes right down the side,
ready for...
267
00:11:45,875 --> 00:11:47,708
Ha! Give it back!
268
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:55,291
Come here! It's time for a family pile!
Everyone in the family pile!
269
00:11:57,208 --> 00:11:59,750
[music continues]
270
00:12:01,833 --> 00:12:04,750
[all laughing]
271
00:12:04,833 --> 00:12:06,833
[music fades]
272
00:12:08,625 --> 00:12:09,625
[doorbell]
273
00:12:10,208 --> 00:12:11,625
[woman] Who are you looking for?
274
00:12:11,708 --> 00:12:15,083
Oh, my God!
You really spooked me, you know?
275
00:12:15,625 --> 00:12:17,083
[woman over intercom] Who is it?
276
00:12:17,166 --> 00:12:18,208
Come on, Michele.
277
00:12:18,291 --> 00:12:20,125
Come on, Michele. It's me. You can see me.
278
00:12:20,208 --> 00:12:21,875
[Michele] Yeah, I can see you.
279
00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:25,250
What I don't see is more child support
for our daughter.
280
00:12:25,333 --> 00:12:28,041
What are you talking about?
Michele, for God's sake.
281
00:12:28,125 --> 00:12:29,625
Come on, tell Carol I'm outside.
282
00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:32,000
Keep your eyes open.
You're gonna be served, hear me?
283
00:12:32,083 --> 00:12:34,833
You can't fall behind
on child support, pal.
284
00:12:35,541 --> 00:12:37,583
Ah, nice. We've got a lot to say.
285
00:12:37,666 --> 00:12:39,791
All right, first of all,
I'm not behind on payments.
286
00:12:39,875 --> 00:12:41,708
Every year she's telling that story.
287
00:12:41,791 --> 00:12:44,000
And, second, with all due respect,
#EssentialWorkers,
288
00:12:44,083 --> 00:12:46,208
#ForACleanCity, #MyWorkMyDignity,
289
00:12:46,291 --> 00:12:47,958
this is none of your stinking business.
290
00:12:48,041 --> 00:12:51,500
Fernandinho, tell the truth.
You're dying to get back with me.
291
00:12:51,583 --> 00:12:55,000
I'm dying for you to give back the ball
autographed by Pelé.
292
00:12:55,083 --> 00:12:57,708
- Funny you should mention it...
- [Fernandinho] It's not yours.
293
00:12:57,791 --> 00:12:59,500
Is this what you want?
294
00:12:59,583 --> 00:13:01,125
That's mine. That's my ball...
295
00:13:01,208 --> 00:13:03,166
Increase the payments?
It's yours once more.
296
00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:04,958
I did that five times already!
297
00:13:05,041 --> 00:13:06,583
Then do it once again!
298
00:13:07,416 --> 00:13:09,791
What a shame! And she's a mother.
299
00:13:09,875 --> 00:13:11,416
Lady, you can take your broom
300
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:13,916
and sweep someone else's dirty driveway.
301
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,958
- Honey! That's Daddy's little girl.
- Uh, Dad, let's go.
302
00:13:17,916 --> 00:13:20,750
- She's so affectionate with me.
- [laughing]
303
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,000
[ominous music playing]
304
00:13:24,875 --> 00:13:28,125
[woman on TV] A new disease
is leaving doctors in Rio puzzled.
305
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:30,791
Several people,
mostly women, have reported
306
00:13:30,875 --> 00:13:35,166
symptoms of lethargy and anemia,
and are suffering from low blood volume.
307
00:13:35,250 --> 00:13:36,875
Luci is one of them.
308
00:13:36,958 --> 00:13:39,166
This young woman
started behaving strangely.
309
00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:42,958
We spoke to a relative
who wishes to remain anonymous.
310
00:13:43,041 --> 00:13:47,750
[relative] Everyone's very worried
because Luci was a happy kid, you know?
311
00:13:47,833 --> 00:13:49,916
- Now she's just so tired...
- [Fernandinho] Hi, honey.
312
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,750
- Hello, honey.
- You look lovely.
313
00:13:51,833 --> 00:13:54,458
- Mm, thank you.
- I was wondering what's for dinner.
314
00:13:54,541 --> 00:13:56,916
- This here. Some vegan frozen food.
- Yuck.
315
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,791
Okay. Mm-hmm.
316
00:13:58,875 --> 00:14:01,458
- What?
- Nothing else? That's all we have?
317
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:03,750
You know what, honey?
They're not selling very well
318
00:14:03,833 --> 00:14:05,291
and the freezer's full.
319
00:14:05,375 --> 00:14:07,541
If we each have two or three,
they'll be gone soon.
320
00:14:07,625 --> 00:14:08,708
I see.
321
00:14:08,791 --> 00:14:11,458
You know what, my love?
This just crossed my mind.
322
00:14:11,541 --> 00:14:14,833
{\an8}I mean, it might be the name you picked.
"Vainessa" might be bad.
323
00:14:14,916 --> 00:14:16,708
I don't think so. It was Greg's idea.
324
00:14:16,791 --> 00:14:18,875
- It's a beautiful name.
- Oh, it was Greg's idea.
325
00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:20,541
By the way, where's your brother?
326
00:14:20,625 --> 00:14:21,708
He's sleeping.
327
00:14:21,791 --> 00:14:23,958
Vanessa, reason with me here.
Let's get this straight.
328
00:14:24,041 --> 00:14:26,166
Your brother only eats and sleeps, yeah?
329
00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:28,500
He sleeps all day,
doesn't see the light of day.
330
00:14:28,583 --> 00:14:32,125
I think he's allergic to the sun.
And he doesn't help around the house.
331
00:14:32,208 --> 00:14:35,375
Fernandinho, it's not Greg.
You're the one who doesn't help out.
332
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:37,333
You'll help out tonight.
You do the dishes.
333
00:14:37,416 --> 00:14:39,625
- Good! Bye.
- I don't wanna fight.
334
00:14:39,708 --> 00:14:42,625
- I miss your touch. I'm very needy.
- Me too. I'm needy.
335
00:14:42,708 --> 00:14:43,625
Get over here.
336
00:14:43,708 --> 00:14:45,666
What are you doing? What are you doing?
337
00:14:45,750 --> 00:14:47,875
I want to put you here,
like in the movies.
338
00:14:47,958 --> 00:14:51,875
No! This is not a movie, because... Wait.
You threw my food on the ground?
339
00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:53,166
- Clean this up.
- But I...
340
00:14:53,250 --> 00:14:55,000
And tonight, you'll do the dishes!
341
00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:57,250
- It's part of the game.
- There's no game.
342
00:14:57,333 --> 00:14:59,500
- There's no game at all.
- Okay.
343
00:14:59,583 --> 00:15:01,208
Ah, you're up!
344
00:15:01,291 --> 00:15:03,625
Oh wow, you look great!
345
00:15:03,708 --> 00:15:04,708
Thanks.
346
00:15:05,333 --> 00:15:08,041
- [Fernandinho] Oh, he's looking good!
- [Vanessa] He looks great, right?
347
00:15:08,125 --> 00:15:10,375
[Fernandinho] Is Uncle Greg looking good?
348
00:15:10,458 --> 00:15:12,333
- Yeah.
- I'm glad. All those clothes are mine.
349
00:15:12,916 --> 00:15:14,500
- Really? They're yours?
- They're mine.
350
00:15:14,583 --> 00:15:15,791
And do they fit?
351
00:15:15,875 --> 00:15:17,375
- See?
- No.
352
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:20,041
- No, baby, they don't really fit.
- Hey, come on.
353
00:15:20,125 --> 00:15:21,916
- Yes, they do fit.
- I'm sorry.
354
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,541
- I'll give them back. Washed and ironed.
- No!
355
00:15:24,625 --> 00:15:27,125
No need. They don't fit you anymore.
356
00:15:27,208 --> 00:15:29,291
Yes, return them. I want them all back.
357
00:15:29,375 --> 00:15:32,333
- Dad, that's embarrassing. Don't do that.
- Yeah, Papa. For God's sake.
358
00:15:32,416 --> 00:15:36,125
No! "For God's sake," my ass.
I'm curious. Are the underwear mine?
359
00:15:36,208 --> 00:15:38,333
- Fernando, relax.
- [Fernandinho] I can't relax.
360
00:15:38,416 --> 00:15:40,958
Don't worry, everything's cool.
They won't leave this house.
361
00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:44,083
Let's change the subject.
I had an idea. Absolutely great idea.
362
00:15:44,166 --> 00:15:47,000
- I wanted to do something.
- What do you wanna do?
363
00:15:47,083 --> 00:15:49,583
- Go on.
- Family pile?
364
00:15:49,666 --> 00:15:52,041
- No, I don't like it, seriously.
- [daughter] Family pile.
365
00:15:52,125 --> 00:15:54,041
- Of course you do.
- I don't like it, I don't...
366
00:15:54,125 --> 00:15:57,208
- [all screaming]
- [Fernandinho] No!
367
00:15:57,291 --> 00:15:59,166
Stop it! Stop it!
368
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:01,541
- [cracking]
- [Fernandinho groaning]
369
00:16:01,625 --> 00:16:03,083
Ouch! Stop it!
370
00:16:03,166 --> 00:16:06,041
Ouch, that hurts!
It's hurting me! That hurts!
371
00:16:06,125 --> 00:16:08,833
- I said it was a bad idea! That hurt!
- Fernandinho!
372
00:16:08,916 --> 00:16:10,416
- Don't overreact.
- Killed the moment.
373
00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:12,875
- I'm not kidding.
- It's just a family thing.
374
00:16:12,958 --> 00:16:14,958
I'm not exaggerating. I'm bleeding.
375
00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:16,916
[eerie music playing]
376
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,708
What the hell? What's wrong with you?
377
00:16:20,208 --> 00:16:23,666
[sighs] Guys, this is great.
This has all been fun, but I have to go.
378
00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:25,083
The night is calling.
379
00:16:25,166 --> 00:16:27,875
- See you guys.
- I guess you have cash to go out.
380
00:16:27,958 --> 00:16:30,125
Yes, my sister gave it to me.
381
00:16:30,208 --> 00:16:32,583
Hey, are you giving money to your brother?
382
00:16:32,666 --> 00:16:33,625
[microwave dings]
383
00:16:33,708 --> 00:16:36,791
- That'll be the food. Come on.
- Please explain what he just said to me.
384
00:16:36,875 --> 00:16:39,833
My money is going to your brother,
is that what's going on?
385
00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:43,750
[owl hooting]
386
00:16:44,791 --> 00:16:46,791
[suspenseful music playing]
387
00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:49,791
[door creaks]
388
00:16:53,458 --> 00:16:54,625
Jesus.
389
00:16:55,791 --> 00:16:58,958
I can tell personal hygiene
is not his forte.
390
00:16:59,041 --> 00:17:01,333
[sniffs] Oh! Ugh.
391
00:17:01,916 --> 00:17:02,916
[dramatic sting]
392
00:17:16,458 --> 00:17:18,875
[Fernandinho] Hey,
is that the kid on the news?
393
00:17:32,333 --> 00:17:33,708
- [Vanessa] Fernandinho!
- [exclaims]
394
00:17:33,791 --> 00:17:35,541
- Hi...
- Wrong door?
395
00:17:35,625 --> 00:17:38,458
No, no, no, not at all.
396
00:17:38,541 --> 00:17:40,708
Actually, I smelled something off in here.
397
00:17:40,791 --> 00:17:42,666
Can you smell that?
It's like a skunk corpse.
398
00:17:42,750 --> 00:17:44,875
Seems like something
must have died in here, huh?
399
00:17:44,958 --> 00:17:46,791
- Go ahead and take a whiff.
- [inhales deeply]
400
00:17:46,875 --> 00:17:49,375
- Can't you smell that?
- I don't smell anything.
401
00:17:49,458 --> 00:17:51,041
You might want to have that checked out.
402
00:17:51,125 --> 00:17:53,833
It smells so bad
the hairs in my nose fell out.
403
00:17:53,916 --> 00:17:55,916
Ugh! Did you take a good look around?
404
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:59,916
Don't you think something a bit strange
is going on with this room?
405
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,833
Yes, now that you mentioned it.
There's something wrong.
406
00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:05,166
It's you! Snooping all through his things.
407
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:09,041
Fernandinho, you need to understand
my brother has a dark side.
408
00:18:09,125 --> 00:18:11,916
- A bit of a dark side.
- Always like that. He likes the night.
409
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,375
- Mm-hmm.
- Don't judge.
410
00:18:13,458 --> 00:18:14,875
You should have more sympathy.
411
00:18:14,958 --> 00:18:16,833
- I'm not judging.
- Honey?
412
00:18:16,916 --> 00:18:17,875
Get out!
413
00:18:17,958 --> 00:18:20,750
Listen, just look what he did to my house.
Let me show you.
414
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:21,875
Just please come.
415
00:18:21,958 --> 00:18:23,916
He painted the windows black
and boarded them up.
416
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:24,833
Out!
417
00:18:25,708 --> 00:18:28,041
- Out!
- [sniffs] That's so weird. Fine.
418
00:18:28,125 --> 00:18:31,125
Look, just from being close
you feel a negative...
419
00:18:34,208 --> 00:18:36,541
[eerie music fades]
420
00:18:36,625 --> 00:18:38,791
- [sharp thud]
- [barking]
421
00:18:40,791 --> 00:18:42,041
[fluttering, sharp thud]
422
00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:47,833
[grunts]
423
00:18:49,583 --> 00:18:50,750
[fluttering]
424
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,250
- [fluttering, sharp thud]
- [gasps]
425
00:19:07,666 --> 00:19:09,291
- [dramatic sting]
- [gasps]
426
00:19:12,583 --> 00:19:14,708
[playful dramatic music playing]
427
00:19:18,083 --> 00:19:19,041
[squeaks]
428
00:19:25,875 --> 00:19:27,958
- [squeaks, thud]
- [Fernandinho] Ha ha!
429
00:19:30,583 --> 00:19:31,875
[Fernandinho exhales]
430
00:19:34,458 --> 00:19:35,625
Hmm.
431
00:19:42,458 --> 00:19:43,541
[quizzical groan]
432
00:19:45,125 --> 00:19:47,000
- [shrieks]
- [gasps]
433
00:19:49,250 --> 00:19:51,375
- [Vanessa] Fernandinho, what's going on?
- Dad!
434
00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:53,458
- Honey?
- Dad, what was that noise?
435
00:19:53,541 --> 00:19:55,500
Hold on. Oh my God, there's a bat.
436
00:19:55,583 --> 00:19:57,958
- [sharp crack] Ouch, my sciatica! Jesus.
- Jesus.
437
00:19:58,041 --> 00:20:01,208
A bat came right into the house.
I'm trying to catch it.
438
00:20:01,291 --> 00:20:03,416
- What? A bat in the house?
- [Fernandinho] Yes.
439
00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:06,583
- [bored] Is that all?
- Listen to her. Yes, that was all.
440
00:20:06,666 --> 00:20:09,083
- I'll try to catch it.
- Honey, be very careful.
441
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:11,166
- Okay? Don't kill it.
- I almost died here.
442
00:20:11,250 --> 00:20:15,625
Yes, it helps with the natural flora.
It's a living being that causes no harm.
443
00:20:15,708 --> 00:20:17,125
Mom, can I stay to see the bat?
444
00:20:17,208 --> 00:20:20,708
No, honey. It helps with the flora,
but it does bite. Okay?
445
00:20:21,666 --> 00:20:23,625
I'm about to bite someone.
446
00:20:23,708 --> 00:20:25,875
Ouch. Jesus.
447
00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:28,500
Where are you, goddam beast?
448
00:20:28,583 --> 00:20:30,083
- [frenzied flapping]
- [grunts]
449
00:20:34,750 --> 00:20:36,166
[grunts]
450
00:20:37,166 --> 00:20:38,333
[screams]
451
00:20:39,833 --> 00:20:41,791
[screaming]
452
00:20:41,875 --> 00:20:44,625
You wanna play with me now? What the hell?
453
00:20:46,333 --> 00:20:48,041
I'll get you now!
454
00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:52,583
[yells]
455
00:21:02,750 --> 00:21:05,083
[exhausted groan]
456
00:21:07,083 --> 00:21:09,208
[grunts] Oh, man.
457
00:21:17,750 --> 00:21:18,625
What the heck!
458
00:21:18,708 --> 00:21:21,291
[thud] Jesus Christ! What the hell, man?
459
00:21:21,375 --> 00:21:22,458
You scared me!
460
00:21:23,250 --> 00:21:24,375
Are you just getting back?
461
00:21:24,458 --> 00:21:26,291
Yeah, I had a tough night.
462
00:21:26,375 --> 00:21:27,416
Huh.
463
00:21:28,291 --> 00:21:29,375
Hmm.
464
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:31,166
What's that on your forehead?
465
00:21:31,250 --> 00:21:33,750
- What, this?
- Yeah, on your head, yeah.
466
00:21:33,833 --> 00:21:37,750
No, no, nothing. I managed to hit my head
on the garage door.
467
00:21:37,833 --> 00:21:38,916
Hmm, I see.
468
00:21:39,708 --> 00:21:41,416
Want some bread?
469
00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:42,458
Okay.
470
00:21:42,541 --> 00:21:44,333
Fine, don't eat it.
471
00:21:44,416 --> 00:21:47,500
I'm just being nice.
If you don't want it... It's my favorite.
472
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,750
Garlic bread. Here, smell.
It's delicious. Look.
473
00:21:51,291 --> 00:21:52,958
There's nothing else to eat.
474
00:21:55,583 --> 00:21:58,708
[playful suspenseful music playing]
475
00:21:59,791 --> 00:22:04,333
Fernandinho, I... I wanted to thank you
for your hospitality.
476
00:22:04,416 --> 00:22:07,041
I didn't know I'd be here for so long,
here in your house.
477
00:22:07,125 --> 00:22:08,375
These things happen.
478
00:22:08,458 --> 00:22:10,708
You come for two days,
but stay for two months.
479
00:22:10,791 --> 00:22:11,833
Super normal.
480
00:22:11,916 --> 00:22:14,625
I also want to say that I really like you.
481
00:22:14,708 --> 00:22:17,583
- You're my favorite brother-in-law.
- I'm the only one.
482
00:22:18,375 --> 00:22:19,500
That's right. Mm-hmm.
483
00:22:20,083 --> 00:22:21,916
It's like the old saying goes.
484
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,458
"It takes a brother-in-law to..."
485
00:22:25,541 --> 00:22:27,375
[gagging cough]
486
00:22:27,458 --> 00:22:30,416
[Gregório] What were you saying?
I didn't hear it. Say it again.
487
00:22:31,541 --> 00:22:35,708
[coughing]
488
00:22:35,791 --> 00:22:38,583
No, nothing. I forgot.
489
00:22:38,666 --> 00:22:41,000
Sorry, I forgot. [coughs]
490
00:22:41,083 --> 00:22:42,083
[gulps]
491
00:22:43,333 --> 00:22:45,250
My brother-in-law is a vampire.
492
00:22:45,333 --> 00:22:47,833
Fernandinho, tell me.
Now you tell me the truth.
493
00:22:47,916 --> 00:22:49,625
Are you taking drugs again?
494
00:22:49,708 --> 00:22:52,750
What are you saying? Ssh!
I never did drugs in my life.
495
00:22:52,833 --> 00:22:56,791
You were caught doping
in the game against Botafogo in 2003.
496
00:22:56,875 --> 00:23:00,125
No, I had taken cough syrup
for my throat. It was just syrup.
497
00:23:00,208 --> 00:23:02,250
Fernandinho, I understand, I understand.
498
00:23:02,333 --> 00:23:05,291
I'm going through a similar problem
with my neighbor, Roberval.
499
00:23:05,375 --> 00:23:07,416
Ah, is he a weed-smoking vampire?
500
00:23:07,500 --> 00:23:10,500
- No, none of that. He's a ghost.
- Really?
501
00:23:10,583 --> 00:23:12,875
Actually, he's here right now with us.
502
00:23:12,958 --> 00:23:14,375
Say hello. No reason to be shy.
503
00:23:14,458 --> 00:23:18,166
Hey, Roberval! Nice to meet you, man!
504
00:23:18,250 --> 00:23:20,333
- That's really funny.
- Talk to him.
505
00:23:20,416 --> 00:23:22,166
- We're having a beer.
- Make fun of me.
506
00:23:22,250 --> 00:23:24,166
- Come on, Roberval.
- Make fun of me.
507
00:23:24,250 --> 00:23:27,666
I wanna see that confidence
if the spirit appears before you.
508
00:23:28,625 --> 00:23:29,875
- I believe you!
- Huh!
509
00:23:29,958 --> 00:23:33,375
My God! Don't sneak up on me like that.
We were talking about ghosts!
510
00:23:33,458 --> 00:23:34,666
You shouldn't eavesdrop.
511
00:23:34,750 --> 00:23:36,916
- I'm a vampire expert.
- No, thank you.
512
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,125
Okay, but listen.
They don't go after their own blood.
513
00:23:39,208 --> 00:23:40,083
That's great.
514
00:23:40,166 --> 00:23:42,708
They can't be seen in mirrors
or photographs.
515
00:23:42,791 --> 00:23:44,916
- Everyone knows that.
- There are two kinds.
516
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:48,958
The scouters prepare for the arrival
of the second kind, the alpha vampires.
517
00:23:49,041 --> 00:23:51,041
They're seductive and deceitful!
518
00:23:51,125 --> 00:23:53,125
Whoever finds out
always looks like an idiot.
519
00:23:53,208 --> 00:23:56,333
No one will believe you.
Only the very, very, very stupid ones.
520
00:23:56,416 --> 00:23:58,666
- Do you believe me?
- Obviously. Why?
521
00:23:58,750 --> 00:24:00,291
[clicks tongue] Never mind.
522
00:24:00,791 --> 00:24:02,916
Only the worst ones turn into bats.
523
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:04,041
Wait.
524
00:24:04,708 --> 00:24:08,041
- I didn't tell you about that.
- Fernandinho, I bet that I can help.
525
00:24:08,125 --> 00:24:10,375
No touching, please. Thanks.
526
00:24:12,041 --> 00:24:13,333
[menacing music playing]
527
00:24:14,625 --> 00:24:16,625
[motor revs]
528
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,958
Ameba, maybe we should call an Uber.
We're gonna lose him.
529
00:24:31,041 --> 00:24:33,833
No, you can just track your car
by using your GPS.
530
00:24:33,916 --> 00:24:35,083
And hold on.
531
00:24:35,166 --> 00:24:37,083
- This little thing's fast, okay?
- Hmm.
532
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,333
[faint humming]
533
00:24:48,833 --> 00:24:49,875
What a joke, man.
534
00:24:57,250 --> 00:24:59,250
[sinister music playing]
535
00:25:11,583 --> 00:25:13,958
["Back to Life" by BASXHKZIR playing]
536
00:25:26,750 --> 00:25:29,500
Let's dance. Come on, let's go.
537
00:25:30,625 --> 00:25:32,416
[music continues]
538
00:25:43,916 --> 00:25:45,291
[Fernandinho] Huh?
539
00:25:49,208 --> 00:25:50,250
That's weird.
540
00:25:53,083 --> 00:25:54,750
[music continues]
541
00:26:05,208 --> 00:26:06,791
My bad! Not my thing.
542
00:26:07,500 --> 00:26:09,500
Looking for someone.
543
00:26:20,916 --> 00:26:22,416
[recording alert dings]
544
00:26:24,041 --> 00:26:26,500
- [sinister music playing]
- [growls]
545
00:26:26,583 --> 00:26:28,166
[woman groans]
546
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:37,500
[ringing tone]
547
00:26:41,666 --> 00:26:42,791
[growls]
548
00:26:45,666 --> 00:26:47,041
What is it, you idiot?
549
00:26:47,125 --> 00:26:50,958
[Ameba] Where are you? I got lost.
You're the only one with the tracking app.
550
00:26:51,041 --> 00:26:53,791
I can't talk now. I'll call you later.
What the...?
551
00:26:57,291 --> 00:26:59,041
- Fernandinho!
- Whoa!
552
00:26:59,125 --> 00:27:00,458
Hi, Michele, how are you?
553
00:27:00,541 --> 00:27:01,541
- Hi!
- What's up?
554
00:27:01,625 --> 00:27:04,125
You can't afford
to pay more child support, eh?
555
00:27:04,208 --> 00:27:05,958
But a night out? Easy.
556
00:27:06,041 --> 00:27:07,791
What are you doing here? Leave me alone.
557
00:27:07,875 --> 00:27:10,083
- Tell me. Running away from your new wife?
- Hmm?
558
00:27:10,166 --> 00:27:12,250
[coughs] It's none of your business.
559
00:27:12,833 --> 00:27:15,416
[dance music playing]
560
00:27:17,875 --> 00:27:20,541
Oh my God, he's hot! I'm going to dance.
561
00:27:20,625 --> 00:27:22,458
- No, don't dance with that guy. No!
- Why?
562
00:27:22,541 --> 00:27:25,333
He's a professional con artist.
It's a horrible story. Tell you later.
563
00:27:25,416 --> 00:27:26,833
- The handsome dude?
- Not handsome.
564
00:27:26,916 --> 00:27:28,541
- No!
- He's had a lot done, I tell you.
565
00:27:28,625 --> 00:27:31,250
- Let's go. I'll tell you later.
- Stop! Fernandinho!
566
00:27:31,333 --> 00:27:32,458
- I'll tell you later.
- Stop!
567
00:27:32,541 --> 00:27:34,250
[Michele] Let me go.
568
00:27:34,333 --> 00:27:36,291
- What the hell?
- I'm sorry, let's go.
569
00:27:36,375 --> 00:27:39,083
Are you insane?
It's too late to be jealous.
570
00:27:39,166 --> 00:27:40,875
No, I'm protecting my daughter's mother.
571
00:27:40,958 --> 00:27:42,791
- Oh, stop.
- Believe me, Michele. Go home.
572
00:27:42,875 --> 00:27:45,708
For God's sake,
I've paid for your ride already, okay?
573
00:27:45,791 --> 00:27:48,500
That's new.
Since when are you paying anything for me?
574
00:27:48,583 --> 00:27:52,458
Okay, buddy, take her home safely.
I'll give you five stars, okay?
575
00:27:52,541 --> 00:27:55,208
- Bye, Michele, get some rest. Bye.
- Okay, bye.
576
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,250
[motor fades]
577
00:27:58,333 --> 00:28:00,208
- [Ameba] What's up, Fernandinho!
- God!
578
00:28:00,291 --> 00:28:03,083
I told you this baby was fast.
Hey, was he here?
579
00:28:04,250 --> 00:28:07,541
Ameba, figure out how to expel
a vampire from the house. Hurry up.
580
00:28:07,625 --> 00:28:09,875
Honestly, Fernandinho,
it's best if he stays.
581
00:28:09,958 --> 00:28:11,333
What? Have you lost your mind?
582
00:28:11,416 --> 00:28:15,041
- I told you they don't attack relatives.
- I'm not his family. My firstborn, Carol?
583
00:28:15,125 --> 00:28:17,416
- She isn't his family either.
- But you've been hosting him.
584
00:28:17,500 --> 00:28:18,666
They respect that.
585
00:28:18,750 --> 00:28:21,458
But if he leaves your house,
then you'll be in danger.
586
00:28:21,541 --> 00:28:25,583
Come on, man! I don't want Batman living
in my house for the rest of my life.
587
00:28:26,250 --> 00:28:30,000
The only way to expel a vampire
is if everyone sees that he's a vampire.
588
00:28:30,750 --> 00:28:32,875
- You have to expose him.
- That's difficult.
589
00:28:32,958 --> 00:28:36,666
Vanessa will never believe me.
She's crazy about that brother of hers.
590
00:28:36,750 --> 00:28:38,875
- Is there another way?
- Yes, there is.
591
00:28:38,958 --> 00:28:40,041
Why didn't you say so?
592
00:28:40,125 --> 00:28:43,625
- You have to wait for me to ask...
- Just stab him in the heart with this.
593
00:28:44,208 --> 00:28:45,291
Right in the heart.
594
00:28:45,375 --> 00:28:47,666
[playful suspenseful music playing]
595
00:28:48,500 --> 00:28:50,500
[door creaking]
596
00:28:53,583 --> 00:28:55,708
[whispers] Look at that, man!
597
00:28:55,791 --> 00:28:57,458
What is it?
598
00:28:58,666 --> 00:29:00,666
Ameba, look at it.
599
00:29:02,625 --> 00:29:04,541
How did he bring this coffin?
600
00:29:04,625 --> 00:29:08,291
My God, now I understand
why his backpack was unbelievably heavy.
601
00:29:08,375 --> 00:29:11,000
He'd packed this foldable coffin with him.
602
00:29:11,083 --> 00:29:12,208
Help me with this.
603
00:29:12,291 --> 00:29:13,833
Careful. Carefully.
604
00:29:13,916 --> 00:29:16,041
There we go. There, there.
605
00:29:16,125 --> 00:29:17,375
God, it's so heavy.
606
00:29:17,458 --> 00:29:19,458
- [Fernandinho grunts]
- [Ameba gasps]
607
00:29:19,541 --> 00:29:21,291
Even asleep, he's handsome.
608
00:29:21,916 --> 00:29:23,541
What the hell was that comment for?
609
00:29:23,625 --> 00:29:25,333
- It slipped out.
- Yeah, yeah, slipped out.
610
00:29:25,416 --> 00:29:26,958
Pay attention. Gimme that.
611
00:29:27,041 --> 00:29:30,583
- Hurry, the sun's about to set.
- Yeah, watch the door.
612
00:29:32,250 --> 00:29:33,750
Oh, man.
613
00:29:36,500 --> 00:29:38,666
- No. I can't do it.
- Because he's handsome, right?
614
00:29:38,750 --> 00:29:41,000
Are you gonna continue
with "He's handsome"?
615
00:29:41,083 --> 00:29:44,291
- Why can't you?
- Because he's Vanessa's brother, right?
616
00:29:44,375 --> 00:29:46,833
He's my brother-in-law.
Part of the family.
617
00:29:46,916 --> 00:29:50,291
- And besides that, he's a human being.
- Wake the hell up, Fernandinho!
618
00:29:50,375 --> 00:29:52,333
Think of him as something you hate.
619
00:29:52,416 --> 00:29:54,625
Well, I hate you right now
for slapping me.
620
00:29:54,708 --> 00:29:56,916
But I don't hate anyone or anything.
621
00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,916
You have to remember he's been
in your house for over two months.
622
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,083
He used your clothes,
he drank all your booze.
623
00:30:02,166 --> 00:30:03,041
[growls]
624
00:30:03,125 --> 00:30:06,666
Try and see him like the referee
who ruled out that goal in 1997.
625
00:30:06,750 --> 00:30:07,916
[intense growl]
626
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:09,708
- Now you got me going.
- It's working, right?
627
00:30:09,791 --> 00:30:12,333
You should work in psychology.
That was honestly crazy.
628
00:30:12,416 --> 00:30:15,000
- I'm pumped now. I'm angry! I'm angry!
- Go on!
629
00:30:15,083 --> 00:30:16,416
Let your anger go.
630
00:30:17,708 --> 00:30:18,708
...three.
631
00:30:19,166 --> 00:30:20,416
- [yells]
- [growls]
632
00:30:21,041 --> 00:30:22,666
- Oh my God!
- Let him go!
633
00:30:24,916 --> 00:30:26,208
- [music climaxes]
- [yells]
634
00:30:26,291 --> 00:30:28,166
[Fernandinho] No! Please stop it!
635
00:30:28,250 --> 00:30:29,291
Let him go!
636
00:30:30,250 --> 00:30:32,041
- [thud]
- [bloodcurdling growl]
637
00:30:32,125 --> 00:30:33,916
[gasping]
638
00:30:34,500 --> 00:30:36,041
What is it? What is it?
639
00:30:36,125 --> 00:30:38,125
- [nervous babble]
- Are you okay, honey?
640
00:30:38,916 --> 00:30:40,166
- Vanessa.
- Huh?
641
00:30:40,250 --> 00:30:42,375
We need to have a conversation. Hmm.
642
00:30:42,458 --> 00:30:45,333
My love, I'm here for whatever you need.
643
00:30:45,416 --> 00:30:47,208
- Have you gone mad?
- You need help, Dad.
644
00:30:47,291 --> 00:30:49,750
- Ameba, help me out, please.
- It's no use.
645
00:30:49,833 --> 00:30:51,791
Ameba, is any of that true?
646
00:30:51,875 --> 00:30:54,541
No, I didn't see, okay?
But I believe in vampires and in him.
647
00:30:54,625 --> 00:30:56,666
Oh, you believe everything anyway.
648
00:30:56,750 --> 00:30:57,958
No, that's not true.
649
00:30:58,041 --> 00:31:01,750
When your father says
he didn't "intentionally" miss the goal,
650
00:31:01,833 --> 00:31:03,833
I know it's a lie
'cause he clearly threw it.
651
00:31:03,916 --> 00:31:05,916
That's what you think of me, kid?
652
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:08,208
No one would miss that goal.
The goal was free. A touch.
653
00:31:08,291 --> 00:31:11,583
I said a mosquito flew into my nose.
I've said that for years.
654
00:31:11,666 --> 00:31:13,291
- You're not a real Vasco fan.
- I am!
655
00:31:13,375 --> 00:31:14,958
Enough, both of you.
656
00:31:15,041 --> 00:31:17,541
That was the most pathetic excuse
I've ever heard in my life.
657
00:31:17,625 --> 00:31:18,583
Give us a minute.
658
00:31:18,666 --> 00:31:21,583
Admit it, you went out to party
to have fun and flirt.
659
00:31:21,666 --> 00:31:23,833
And you say my brother's a vampire?
Come on!
660
00:31:23,916 --> 00:31:25,166
Okay, I have proof.
661
00:31:25,250 --> 00:31:27,250
Don't do that!
It won't go the way you think.
662
00:31:27,333 --> 00:31:28,666
Don't get involved.
663
00:31:28,750 --> 00:31:30,500
- I wanna see it.
- No, I'll show you now.
664
00:31:30,583 --> 00:31:32,833
- Let me see.
- This is what your brother was up to.
665
00:31:32,916 --> 00:31:34,875
Look. There. Here.
666
00:31:37,500 --> 00:31:38,416
What the hell is this?
667
00:31:38,500 --> 00:31:40,416
A drunk woman gyrating
up against the wall.
668
00:31:40,500 --> 00:31:42,833
- Where's Uncle Greg?
- Yes, a woman, but you'll see Greg...
669
00:31:42,916 --> 00:31:45,250
Greg is... Oh, no. Oh, well...
670
00:31:45,333 --> 00:31:47,500
[mutters] But he was here. He was here.
671
00:31:47,583 --> 00:31:50,458
Lenses and mirrors
can't capture a vampire's image.
672
00:31:50,541 --> 00:31:54,875
- They can't be filmed or tagged on posts.
- But he was right there.
673
00:31:54,958 --> 00:31:57,375
Hey, all right. Then can you answer this?
674
00:31:58,166 --> 00:32:00,250
Why do we never see him during the day?
675
00:32:00,333 --> 00:32:02,000
He's always sleeping. Answer it.
676
00:32:02,083 --> 00:32:04,833
What? Can you not answer me
'cause a cat got your tongue?
677
00:32:04,916 --> 00:32:06,458
You can't answer that question.
678
00:32:06,541 --> 00:32:08,875
No problem, because I'm here
to answer the question.
679
00:32:08,958 --> 00:32:10,291
Because he'd die!
680
00:32:10,916 --> 00:32:15,500
Yes! That's because your brother's kind
turns into ash when they go into the sun.
681
00:32:15,583 --> 00:32:19,416
That's why he always wakes up so late
and doesn't join us by the pool.
682
00:32:19,500 --> 00:32:20,916
Because he'd die if...
683
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:23,833
- Morning, family!
- Good morning, Greg, how's it going...
684
00:32:23,916 --> 00:32:26,541
Hee... Oh, hey.
685
00:32:26,625 --> 00:32:28,833
How's my awesome bro-in-law?
686
00:32:28,916 --> 00:32:31,791
I had a dream about you last night.
You were worried, very worried.
687
00:32:31,875 --> 00:32:35,291
But I took good care of you
like only a brother-in-law knows. Right?
688
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:39,625
Guys, I think I'm not jet-lagged anymore.
No more jet lag. I want...
689
00:32:39,708 --> 00:32:42,208
- Namaste, brother.
- Namaste, my darling.
690
00:32:42,708 --> 00:32:45,375
I wanna enjoy the pool
with the family, with Carol here,
691
00:32:45,458 --> 00:32:46,916
and this kid too.
692
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:49,416
- Come, come.
- It's such a beautiful day.
693
00:32:49,500 --> 00:32:52,125
- We're so blessed.
- But here's the thing about...
694
00:32:52,208 --> 00:32:53,250
I'll go.
695
00:32:53,333 --> 00:32:55,833
I just... Everything I was seeing here just...
696
00:32:55,916 --> 00:32:57,750
Huh? There's nothing here for me.
697
00:33:01,333 --> 00:33:03,791
Hey, why wouldn't a vampire die
in the sun?
698
00:33:03,875 --> 00:33:05,750
He should have died.
699
00:33:05,833 --> 00:33:07,916
- That's so strange.
- Very strange.
700
00:33:08,875 --> 00:33:13,000
Maybe your brother-in-law is a mutant kind
that evolved to be resistant to the sun.
701
00:33:13,083 --> 00:33:16,250
Some of the vampire lineages
can have different traits and powers.
702
00:33:16,333 --> 00:33:18,208
- Why didn't you say so?
- You didn't ask.
703
00:33:18,291 --> 00:33:20,458
Do I have to ask
for everything now? Jesus.
704
00:33:20,541 --> 00:33:23,375
But I think Vanessa
actually took that pretty well.
705
00:33:24,208 --> 00:33:26,500
Hey, honey, look, I made these for you!
706
00:33:26,583 --> 00:33:27,875
Want some zucchini?
707
00:33:27,958 --> 00:33:29,833
- So, is it full of blood?
- Hmm?
708
00:33:29,916 --> 00:33:31,791
A vampire's sister is a vampire.
709
00:33:31,875 --> 00:33:33,125
You should watch out.
710
00:33:33,208 --> 00:33:34,083
[dramatic sting]
711
00:33:39,083 --> 00:33:42,625
- Yeah, she took it well.
- Shut up. Jesus.
712
00:33:46,291 --> 00:33:48,250
Uncle Greg, your nose is funny.
713
00:33:54,375 --> 00:33:55,625
Ssh.
714
00:34:04,958 --> 00:34:07,041
- [snap]
- [hissing] Ouch.
715
00:34:08,416 --> 00:34:10,416
[suspenseful music playing]
716
00:34:16,750 --> 00:34:18,750
- [hissing stops]
- [Gregório exhales]
717
00:34:22,166 --> 00:34:23,833
- [exhales] Hey.
- Ah.
718
00:34:26,458 --> 00:34:29,083
Brother, I'm just so glad
you're here with us.
719
00:34:32,250 --> 00:34:34,833
[dramatic music playing]
720
00:34:34,916 --> 00:34:37,833
- I think Fernandinho is feeling jealous.
- [hissing]
721
00:34:39,166 --> 00:34:41,875
- [grunts]
- [fierce scratching]
722
00:34:41,958 --> 00:34:44,125
- Gratitude for this day...
- [pencil clatters]
723
00:34:44,208 --> 00:34:46,583
What's this? Everything fine, Carol?
724
00:34:46,666 --> 00:34:51,083
I'm actually not feeling all that well.
I'm going to the bathroom. See you later.
725
00:34:51,791 --> 00:34:53,708
- [Vanessa] Okay.
- [Gregório grunts]
726
00:34:55,125 --> 00:34:57,416
- [Gregório] Ah, my cute niece.
- [hissing]
727
00:35:02,375 --> 00:35:04,375
[shower running]
728
00:35:21,375 --> 00:35:23,833
[menacing music playing]
729
00:35:25,625 --> 00:35:26,791
[shower tap screeches]
730
00:35:28,291 --> 00:35:31,041
[suspenseful music playing]
731
00:35:31,833 --> 00:35:33,291
[door creaks]
732
00:35:38,208 --> 00:35:39,333
Damn it.
733
00:35:42,958 --> 00:35:45,166
- [sniffs]
- [tense music playing]
734
00:35:52,375 --> 00:35:55,458
- [sniffing continues]
- [tense music builds]
735
00:35:57,333 --> 00:35:59,333
[cell ringing]
736
00:36:06,583 --> 00:36:08,541
- [indistinct]
- Hello, Reinfildo.
737
00:36:08,625 --> 00:36:11,083
- So, is everything ready?
- [indistinct]
738
00:36:11,166 --> 00:36:12,458
- Yeah?
- [indistinct]
739
00:36:12,541 --> 00:36:15,541
That's great. I found a great place.
I'm sure he's gonna like it.
740
00:36:15,625 --> 00:36:17,500
- [indistinct]
- I'll see you very soon.
741
00:36:18,583 --> 00:36:19,791
[disconnect tone]
742
00:36:21,916 --> 00:36:23,916
[ominous music playing]
743
00:36:28,750 --> 00:36:29,916
[Gregório yawns]
744
00:36:43,750 --> 00:36:46,000
Oh, Ameba, I have to talk to you.
745
00:36:46,083 --> 00:36:49,750
Listen here, you wanna get back with me?
Just forget it. I found someone else.
746
00:36:49,833 --> 00:36:52,000
What? Stop being an idiot.
I broke up with you.
747
00:36:52,083 --> 00:36:55,208
Carol, I know you were crazy about me.
No point in denying...
748
00:36:55,291 --> 00:36:57,916
Ssh! Forget about it.
I don't want my father to know.
749
00:36:58,000 --> 00:36:59,666
Actually, I don't want the world to know.
750
00:36:59,750 --> 00:37:00,833
If I could go back in time,
751
00:37:00,916 --> 00:37:03,416
I would go back and shoot myself
in the face before kissing you.
752
00:37:03,500 --> 00:37:06,500
Okay, if you went back in time
and met yourself in the past,
753
00:37:06,583 --> 00:37:07,833
you'd be creating a paradox...
754
00:37:07,916 --> 00:37:10,833
Yeah, can you please shut your mouth,
nerd? Listen.
755
00:37:10,916 --> 00:37:12,750
I know Greg is a vampire.
756
00:37:14,250 --> 00:37:16,333
[Carol] We gotta tell everyone about this.
757
00:37:16,416 --> 00:37:18,791
Uh, try it.
I couldn't even convince Vanessa.
758
00:37:18,875 --> 00:37:20,833
Actually, I couldn't even convince you.
759
00:37:20,916 --> 00:37:22,958
Carol, no one convinces anyone
that vampires exist.
760
00:37:23,041 --> 00:37:25,333
I don't know. It's their power.
You only find out by chance.
761
00:37:25,416 --> 00:37:26,916
Then we have to call the police, right?
762
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:28,125
They won't believe us either.
763
00:37:28,208 --> 00:37:29,875
What are you even doing with that?
764
00:37:29,958 --> 00:37:31,625
I'm making a cross,
765
00:37:31,708 --> 00:37:33,791
because crosses murder vampires! Ha-ha!
766
00:37:33,875 --> 00:37:35,375
- [clattering]
- [Ameba] Not necessarily.
767
00:37:35,458 --> 00:37:37,833
Vampires and crosses are like
cockroaches and mothballs.
768
00:37:37,916 --> 00:37:40,541
They maybe just scare them off.
The most important thing is faith.
769
00:37:40,625 --> 00:37:43,500
- You're not much of a churchgoer.
- What? You're nuts.
770
00:37:43,583 --> 00:37:45,416
- I do go.
- When was the last time?
771
00:37:45,500 --> 00:37:46,750
My first communion.
772
00:37:46,833 --> 00:37:50,208
Hey, no, that's enough, okay?
I am a committed man of faith.
773
00:37:50,291 --> 00:37:51,666
I've told you this before.
774
00:37:51,750 --> 00:37:54,541
And in fact, so many of the goals I kicked
were dedicated to Jesus.
775
00:37:54,625 --> 00:37:57,208
When I made a goal, I'd say,
"This is for You, Jesus."
776
00:37:57,291 --> 00:37:58,916
All right. Pray the Rosary.
777
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:00,041
[splutters]
778
00:38:00,125 --> 00:38:02,875
The Ros...? Is that a real prayer?
779
00:38:02,958 --> 00:38:04,375
- Yeah.
- Really?
780
00:38:04,458 --> 00:38:06,416
[Carol] We can't hide here forever.
781
00:38:06,500 --> 00:38:09,375
We need to do something
to make Greg get out of the house.
782
00:38:09,458 --> 00:38:10,916
We need an actual miracle, sweetie.
783
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:13,750
- Dad!
- Ah, sweetie, what the hell!
784
00:38:13,833 --> 00:38:15,291
Uncle Greg is saying goodbye.
785
00:38:15,375 --> 00:38:17,083
[celestial music playing]
786
00:38:17,166 --> 00:38:18,291
A man of faith.
787
00:38:19,041 --> 00:38:21,750
- [Gregório] Kisses. Love you.
- Still running the taxi meter.
788
00:38:21,833 --> 00:38:24,333
Bye, love you.
Oh, don't forget your jacket, Greg.
789
00:38:24,416 --> 00:38:25,791
- I got it.
- Jacket?
790
00:38:25,875 --> 00:38:28,166
- Are you his grandma now?
- Fernandinho.
791
00:38:28,833 --> 00:38:31,750
Just making a joke. Having fun.
It's fine. Sorry.
792
00:38:32,333 --> 00:38:34,708
[Vanessa] Greg, text me
your number and address.
793
00:38:34,791 --> 00:38:36,916
Wherever you settle down,
we want to come visit you.
794
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:37,916
Speak for yourself.
795
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:40,125
[Gregório] Okay, I'll text them to you.
796
00:38:40,208 --> 00:38:41,083
- Kiss, kiss.
- Bye!
797
00:38:41,166 --> 00:38:44,708
- Our doors will always be open.
- Not true. They'll be locked tight.
798
00:38:44,791 --> 00:38:48,000
What? Nothing. Bye!
Hey, just making a little joke.
799
00:38:48,083 --> 00:38:49,875
[sighs] I already miss him.
800
00:38:49,958 --> 00:38:51,208
[Fernandinho sighs]
801
00:38:51,291 --> 00:38:52,666
[Vanessa] I miss Greg already.
802
00:38:53,333 --> 00:38:55,833
- Not me. Good night, my love, good night.
- Huh?
803
00:38:55,916 --> 00:38:57,125
I hope he never comes back.
804
00:38:57,208 --> 00:38:59,291
- We got rid of him!
- We really did it!
805
00:38:59,375 --> 00:39:00,666
Are you serious, guys?
806
00:39:00,750 --> 00:39:02,958
Carol, what's the matter?
Hey, don't be like that?
807
00:39:05,208 --> 00:39:07,125
- [both chuckling]
- [playful growl]
808
00:39:07,791 --> 00:39:09,208
- [thud]
- Ooh, my bad.
809
00:39:09,291 --> 00:39:10,791
You're ridiculous.
810
00:39:10,875 --> 00:39:13,958
A vampire is on the loose in the city
and you won't do anything?
811
00:39:14,041 --> 00:39:17,500
Okay, honey, I wanted your Uncle Greg
to leave the house and he's gone.
812
00:39:17,583 --> 00:39:20,250
I did it to protect my family.
That's what I have to do.
813
00:39:20,333 --> 00:39:21,791
You're being a coward.
814
00:39:22,708 --> 00:39:23,541
No.
815
00:39:24,041 --> 00:39:26,833
I put my family before everything.
That's what I have to do.
816
00:39:27,416 --> 00:39:29,250
Like when you threw
the match against Flamengo?
817
00:39:30,750 --> 00:39:32,250
Is that what you think of your father?
818
00:39:32,333 --> 00:39:34,916
Who can really say
when you kicked that ball
819
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:36,875
you didn't put "family"
before everything then?
820
00:39:38,708 --> 00:39:42,250
[sighs] I really thought my daughter
would know me better than that.
821
00:39:42,750 --> 00:39:44,708
Dad, you know I love you.
822
00:39:45,500 --> 00:39:47,125
But love is more than admiration.
823
00:39:47,208 --> 00:39:50,083
I can't admire someone
who's constantly taking the easy way out.
824
00:39:50,666 --> 00:39:53,208
Okay, I did what I had to do, okay?
825
00:39:54,541 --> 00:39:55,583
And you're wrong.
826
00:39:56,166 --> 00:39:58,291
If I do miss what we had before,
827
00:39:59,958 --> 00:40:01,541
maybe I'll get over it.
828
00:40:04,375 --> 00:40:05,250
[door opens]
829
00:40:06,750 --> 00:40:07,708
[door closes]
830
00:40:22,458 --> 00:40:23,291
{\an8}VAMPIRES
831
00:40:23,375 --> 00:40:25,458
{\an8}Good morning, my darlings!
832
00:40:26,250 --> 00:40:27,625
{\an8}I love it when you guys ignore me.
833
00:40:27,708 --> 00:40:29,208
{\an8}Hey, sweetie. Hey.
834
00:40:29,875 --> 00:40:30,708
{\an8}You fine?
835
00:40:30,791 --> 00:40:32,666
{\an8}- [Carol] Mm-hmm.
- I'll just take some cookies.
836
00:40:33,208 --> 00:40:34,041
{\an8}Hmm?
837
00:40:35,041 --> 00:40:37,750
- Hey, where is everyone?
- They mentioned they'd be late.
838
00:40:37,833 --> 00:40:40,916
Ah, no one has any consideration
for anyone else now, huh?
839
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:43,708
- I'm sure they're on their way.
- What are you watching?
840
00:40:43,791 --> 00:40:47,458
A Polish movie about the personal journey
of an immigrant vampire
841
00:40:47,541 --> 00:40:48,916
who finds love in unusual places.
842
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:51,541
That sounds super interesting, Ameba.
843
00:40:56,250 --> 00:40:58,291
- [snoring]
- [motor humming]
844
00:40:59,583 --> 00:41:01,000
[coughs, grunts]
845
00:41:01,625 --> 00:41:05,000
What's going on? Hey!
What's going on? Hmm?
846
00:41:05,833 --> 00:41:07,458
Why is this... What's going on?
847
00:41:07,541 --> 00:41:09,041
What... Ah!
848
00:41:09,750 --> 00:41:11,041
Oh, you're here.
849
00:41:11,833 --> 00:41:14,750
A round of applause
for your shameless behavior.
850
00:41:14,833 --> 00:41:19,500
It's plain to see you two were indulging
yourselves. Disgraceful. I can see it.
851
00:41:19,583 --> 00:41:22,500
I wouldn't have guessed, Claudionor,
you of all people.
852
00:41:22,583 --> 00:41:24,333
As we had agreed, I am here.
853
00:41:24,416 --> 00:41:26,916
We were shooting a teaser.
You were gonna come in early.
854
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:29,458
- We had a plan.
- You'd better do it on your own.
855
00:41:30,041 --> 00:41:31,875
You're the star of this show, right?
856
00:41:32,583 --> 00:41:34,750
Yeah, you can do it alone, Fernando.
857
00:41:34,833 --> 00:41:37,416
Yes, I'm the star of this show.
I'm the star of the show.
858
00:41:37,500 --> 00:41:39,375
Maracanã's packed,
everyone's screaming my name,
859
00:41:39,458 --> 00:41:42,000
a star in the age of television,
before all the little screens...
860
00:41:42,083 --> 00:41:45,625
Get what I'm saying? Yes, I'm a star,
but the three of us host the show, okay?
861
00:41:45,708 --> 00:41:48,541
I do too much already.
I don't need you riding my coattails.
862
00:41:48,625 --> 00:41:50,708
- Let me be clear.
- What, you're scolding us?
863
00:41:50,791 --> 00:41:53,500
That's... psychological harassment.
864
00:41:53,583 --> 00:41:55,875
- You got really close to me.
- We can sue you, okay?
865
00:41:55,958 --> 00:41:59,083
[Fernandinho] Harassment?
What are you talking about? What?
866
00:41:59,166 --> 00:42:02,000
Oh, I understand. I can tell
you two are up to no good.
867
00:42:02,083 --> 00:42:04,958
And your vibes are just awful,
you pair of leeches.
868
00:42:05,041 --> 00:42:07,500
You want my blood,
but you won't get a drop.
869
00:42:07,583 --> 00:42:10,250
- I only want what's fair, understand?
- Fer... Fernandinho.
870
00:42:10,333 --> 00:42:12,666
- What on earth is wrong?
- Come here.
871
00:42:12,750 --> 00:42:15,541
Are you also gonna be suing me?
Give me a minute, guys.
872
00:42:15,625 --> 00:42:18,500
We're not done talking about this though.
Simply unbelievable.
873
00:42:18,583 --> 00:42:20,875
- What is it? What do you want?
- Take a look at the video.
874
00:42:20,958 --> 00:42:24,541
Are you buying more apps
on my cell phone without permission?
875
00:42:24,625 --> 00:42:25,875
[nervous groan]
876
00:42:27,041 --> 00:42:28,375
Oh my gosh.
877
00:42:28,458 --> 00:42:29,833
I see.
878
00:42:29,916 --> 00:42:33,583
Hey, guys, I was thinking,
and you're right.
879
00:42:33,666 --> 00:42:35,458
I do cross the line sometimes.
880
00:42:35,541 --> 00:42:39,291
I mean, people need boundaries.
Boundaries! Am I right?
881
00:42:39,375 --> 00:42:41,875
No, you can't do the show by yourself.
We'll help.
882
00:42:41,958 --> 00:42:43,750
Yes, let's make a show together.
883
00:42:43,833 --> 00:42:46,333
[whimpers] Maybe another time.
The battery is almost dead.
884
00:42:46,416 --> 00:42:49,000
Death? You're bringing up death?
Why would you bring up death?
885
00:42:49,083 --> 00:42:51,125
- Hey, listen. Just go home.
- True.
886
00:42:51,208 --> 00:42:53,833
Get some rest.
It's better to be well rested.
887
00:42:53,916 --> 00:42:58,208
Here's an idea. Why don't you go talk
to Roberval, your ghost neighbor?
888
00:42:58,291 --> 00:43:01,166
- A ghost isn't real.
- It's not real. It's not real.
889
00:43:01,250 --> 00:43:02,333
Go be with your wife.
890
00:43:02,416 --> 00:43:05,041
I imagine she misses you
and she wants to have a little snuggle.
891
00:43:05,125 --> 00:43:06,875
- Go. You can go.
- [Chicão] Let's do it.
892
00:43:06,958 --> 00:43:08,583
So please get some good rest.
893
00:43:08,666 --> 00:43:11,166
That's right. You need some rest.
894
00:43:11,250 --> 00:43:13,166
- Totally lost it.
- Me too.
895
00:43:13,250 --> 00:43:16,416
Listen, man, let me tell you something.
896
00:43:16,500 --> 00:43:18,333
- Let's put the show on hold for now.
- I agree.
897
00:43:18,416 --> 00:43:20,791
Yeah, no problem.
Just close the garage door
898
00:43:20,875 --> 00:43:22,000
and you can weld it shut.
899
00:43:22,083 --> 00:43:24,500
- Keep everyone out, okay my friend?
- I got this.
900
00:43:24,583 --> 00:43:25,916
I'm going to my house.
901
00:43:32,708 --> 00:43:34,333
[panicked gasping]
902
00:43:34,416 --> 00:43:35,541
[Vanessa] Fernandinho?
903
00:43:35,625 --> 00:43:38,125
Oh my God! What are you? Some sort of bat?
904
00:43:38,208 --> 00:43:39,791
I'm not a bat. Are you okay?
905
00:43:39,875 --> 00:43:41,708
I am. Not sure about you.
906
00:43:41,791 --> 00:43:43,416
My love, what are you doing here?
907
00:43:43,500 --> 00:43:44,750
I live here.
908
00:43:45,333 --> 00:43:47,083
Fernandinho, did you forget
your appointment?
909
00:43:47,666 --> 00:43:50,333
Oh, no, tonight's not good, honey.
I'm very worried, very nervous.
910
00:43:50,416 --> 00:43:52,416
Congrats, but I can't do it tonight.
911
00:43:52,500 --> 00:43:55,125
That's not what I'm talking about.
Read this letter.
912
00:43:55,208 --> 00:43:56,333
Letter?
913
00:43:57,041 --> 00:44:00,125
Okay. The hearing with Michele! My God!
914
00:44:03,291 --> 00:44:05,333
[panting]
915
00:44:06,708 --> 00:44:07,625
Hey.
916
00:44:08,708 --> 00:44:10,916
- Homero. How's it going?
- [moans]
917
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:14,041
Apologies for being late.
I was just delayed a bit.
918
00:44:14,625 --> 00:44:16,083
I'm just having a bad day.
919
00:44:16,166 --> 00:44:17,750
Please don't worry. Just relax.
920
00:44:17,833 --> 00:44:21,583
Okay, so your ex-wife has been waiting
in my office for over an hour.
921
00:44:21,666 --> 00:44:23,916
- [Fernandinho coughs]
- So you better take it easy.
922
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:27,208
Yeah, I'll try. We're fine, right?
We're cool? I'll relax.
923
00:44:27,291 --> 00:44:29,958
- I can do this. Let's go. Excuse me.
- Sure.
924
00:44:30,041 --> 00:44:32,333
Michele, look who's here.
925
00:44:32,416 --> 00:44:33,958
Hey, Michele. How are you?
926
00:44:34,041 --> 00:44:37,000
- [dramatic sting]
- Oh, I'm great, Fernandinho.
927
00:44:37,875 --> 00:44:39,541
[Fernandinho] She's great.
928
00:44:41,208 --> 00:44:43,958
Tell me, did... did you go back
to the club after I left?
929
00:44:44,041 --> 00:44:46,750
Clearly... that's none of your concern.
930
00:44:47,291 --> 00:44:50,833
[Homero] Well, Fernando.
I've read through the file.
931
00:44:50,916 --> 00:44:53,583
That's right. I also talked
to Michele's lawyer.
932
00:44:54,166 --> 00:44:57,041
We both think we should be able
to reach an understanding.
933
00:44:57,125 --> 00:44:59,083
- I concur.
- [Fernandinho] I disagree.
934
00:44:59,166 --> 00:45:01,166
I really think we should reschedule this.
935
00:45:01,250 --> 00:45:02,833
- What do you say?
- Now!
936
00:45:03,416 --> 00:45:06,875
Michele, you've taken every possession
that I own. I've absolutely nothing left.
937
00:45:06,958 --> 00:45:08,083
[Michele] I disagree.
938
00:45:08,958 --> 00:45:10,958
There's still much, much more, my love.
939
00:45:11,750 --> 00:45:14,750
- Look at her teeth!
- Listen to me one moment, listen.
940
00:45:14,833 --> 00:45:17,916
In these cases... Listen, Fernando.
...the best possible outcome
941
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:21,375
is try to reach an agreement without
a third-party mediator stepping in.
942
00:45:21,458 --> 00:45:23,208
Understand? In this case, me.
943
00:45:23,291 --> 00:45:26,375
Also, remember that everything
can and should be discussed.
944
00:45:26,458 --> 00:45:28,125
- Okay.
- Relax. I'll leave you two alone.
945
00:45:28,208 --> 00:45:30,541
Hell no! No! Don't you leave.
No, please stay.
946
00:45:30,625 --> 00:45:32,708
- Don't go.
- Why not? What's wrong?
947
00:45:32,791 --> 00:45:33,958
Because... It's just...
948
00:45:34,041 --> 00:45:37,375
Uh, my ex-wife is a vampire
out on the hunt.
949
00:45:37,458 --> 00:45:40,625
[scoffs] Fernando,
every ex-husband has this story.
950
00:45:40,708 --> 00:45:44,458
No, no, no, I'm serious. Just take a peek
at her fangs... [snarls] ...See?
951
00:45:44,541 --> 00:45:46,458
- She's a bloodthirsty vampire.
- [Homero] Fernando...
952
00:45:46,541 --> 00:45:48,875
You can't see her as your enemy,
understand?
953
00:45:48,958 --> 00:45:52,041
But someone you used to be in love with.
954
00:45:52,125 --> 00:45:55,500
- Deep down, she doesn't mean you any harm.
- Yes, she does. She does.
955
00:45:55,583 --> 00:45:57,833
She means many harms. Jesus!
956
00:45:57,916 --> 00:45:59,375
Fernando, will you be mature?
957
00:45:59,458 --> 00:46:01,541
I'm not letting you get out
of this this time.
958
00:46:01,625 --> 00:46:03,375
Okay? I'm locking the door.
959
00:46:03,458 --> 00:46:05,000
No! For the love of God!
960
00:46:05,083 --> 00:46:07,625
Homero! Don't go! Homero!
961
00:46:07,708 --> 00:46:10,708
- Come back, Homero?
- [Michele hisses]
962
00:46:10,791 --> 00:46:12,416
- Take it easy, Michele.
- [hisses]
963
00:46:12,500 --> 00:46:14,250
[whimpering]
964
00:46:17,083 --> 00:46:19,291
It's a calm day today.
965
00:46:19,375 --> 00:46:21,333
Homero, open the door for God's sake!
966
00:46:21,416 --> 00:46:23,750
- [Michele growls]
- [yelps]
967
00:46:23,833 --> 00:46:26,458
[screaming]
968
00:46:26,541 --> 00:46:27,458
Homero! Stay back.
969
00:46:27,541 --> 00:46:29,041
Go ahead and talk.
970
00:46:29,125 --> 00:46:30,708
- Dialog is crucial.
- [Fernandinho yelling]
971
00:46:34,125 --> 00:46:37,416
No! Michele! [screaming]
972
00:46:48,041 --> 00:46:49,416
- [snarling]
- Ooh!
973
00:46:51,375 --> 00:46:52,791
[grunts]
974
00:46:55,291 --> 00:46:57,375
Michele!
975
00:46:59,083 --> 00:47:01,625
I'll pay more! I'll pay more
child support, I'll raise it!
976
00:47:01,708 --> 00:47:04,041
- [distorted] But are you serious?
- I am! I'm serious.
977
00:47:04,125 --> 00:47:07,083
Yes, yes, my friend.
978
00:47:07,166 --> 00:47:09,250
Give up a little.
979
00:47:09,333 --> 00:47:11,250
[distorted] You'll give me the house
at the beach.
980
00:47:11,333 --> 00:47:14,000
That's not fair. I bought the beach house
after our divorce!
981
00:47:14,083 --> 00:47:16,791
- [snarls]
- Fine, you can have it! It's yours!
982
00:47:16,875 --> 00:47:18,916
[distorted] I want a car. A new one.
983
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:20,500
And the pet shop.
984
00:47:20,583 --> 00:47:22,750
An apartment and my daughter's name
on the lease.
985
00:47:22,833 --> 00:47:23,958
Oh, God!
986
00:47:24,041 --> 00:47:26,583
[distorted] How cheaply
you let it all go. I won.
987
00:47:26,666 --> 00:47:29,208
I want everything you have. Everything!
988
00:47:29,291 --> 00:47:30,250
Everything!
989
00:47:30,333 --> 00:47:32,166
All of it! All of it!
990
00:47:32,250 --> 00:47:33,750
And I want justice!
991
00:47:33,833 --> 00:47:35,833
Oh, you want justice? Here you go!
992
00:47:36,333 --> 00:47:38,833
- [thud]
- [metal clattering]
993
00:47:38,916 --> 00:47:39,750
Uh?
994
00:47:39,833 --> 00:47:42,541
[panicked groaning]
995
00:47:46,166 --> 00:47:47,250
[panicked sob]
996
00:47:47,333 --> 00:47:48,958
- [sickening crack]
- [Fernandinho howls]
997
00:47:49,041 --> 00:47:50,791
[panicked scream]
998
00:47:51,791 --> 00:47:52,791
[thud]
999
00:47:54,125 --> 00:47:56,125
[gasping breaths]
1000
00:47:57,500 --> 00:47:59,500
[comic suspenseful music playing]
1001
00:48:06,500 --> 00:48:08,708
[tires screeching]
1002
00:48:10,708 --> 00:48:14,250
- [ringing tone]
- Carol, answer the phone! For God's sake!
1003
00:48:14,333 --> 00:48:15,750
Come on! Answer.
1004
00:48:17,583 --> 00:48:19,083
[Carol] Hi, Dad. How's it going?
1005
00:48:19,166 --> 00:48:21,125
Hey, sweetie, where are you right now?
1006
00:48:21,208 --> 00:48:23,166
I went to my Mom's house
like you told me to.
1007
00:48:23,250 --> 00:48:25,875
No, for God's sake, get out of there!
Sweetie, get out of there now!
1008
00:48:25,958 --> 00:48:27,125
But why?
1009
00:48:27,208 --> 00:48:28,500
[dramatic sting]
1010
00:48:28,583 --> 00:48:29,416
Uncle Greg!
1011
00:48:29,500 --> 00:48:30,541
Sweetheart?
1012
00:48:31,375 --> 00:48:33,375
Hello, Carol? Carol?
1013
00:48:34,125 --> 00:48:35,250
Hello, Carol.
1014
00:48:35,333 --> 00:48:37,041
What are you doing here at my Mom's?
1015
00:48:37,125 --> 00:48:39,291
It was the biggest coincidence
in the world.
1016
00:48:39,375 --> 00:48:42,541
I was at a club and I ran into her.
And we became friends.
1017
00:48:42,625 --> 00:48:44,541
- You can't be for real.
- I'm serious.
1018
00:48:44,625 --> 00:48:46,458
Why don't you come inside? We'll talk.
1019
00:48:46,541 --> 00:48:49,166
[hesitates] No, I can't.
My dad needs me at home.
1020
00:48:49,250 --> 00:48:51,000
And I'm already running a bit late.
1021
00:48:51,083 --> 00:48:54,000
Did I tell you we're having a party
on Halloween? I mean, not a party.
1022
00:48:54,083 --> 00:48:55,500
No, a ball.
1023
00:48:55,583 --> 00:48:58,833
- You could come in and help us.
- No, I have to go. I can't.
1024
00:49:03,833 --> 00:49:05,166
- [dramatic sting]
- [gasps]
1025
00:49:06,166 --> 00:49:07,333
Get in the house.
1026
00:49:07,416 --> 00:49:08,541
[tires screech]
1027
00:49:08,625 --> 00:49:11,541
[Fernandinho] Sweetheart, run! Carol!
Run, Carol! Hurry up!
1028
00:49:12,625 --> 00:49:15,875
Hurry up! Get in the car.
Come quickly. Please get in the car!
1029
00:49:15,958 --> 00:49:18,500
- Come! Let's go!
- Drive! Please, Dad!
1030
00:49:18,583 --> 00:49:20,333
[motor revs]
1031
00:49:21,375 --> 00:49:23,375
[tires screeching]
1032
00:49:24,541 --> 00:49:26,791
[music crescendos, fades]
1033
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:32,166
[Fernandinho] Are you okay?
Did he do anything to you?
1034
00:49:32,250 --> 00:49:33,583
[Carol] I'm okay. Relax.
1035
00:49:33,666 --> 00:49:35,833
- But how's Mom?
- [sighs]
1036
00:49:36,500 --> 00:49:38,833
It's not looking good,
sweetie, and I'm sorry.
1037
00:49:40,333 --> 00:49:41,916
But I promise I'll fix it.
1038
00:49:42,708 --> 00:49:44,291
Please trust me. I promise.
1039
00:49:45,416 --> 00:49:47,375
I also wanted to go ahead
and tell you that
1040
00:49:47,458 --> 00:49:50,125
you were right, sweetie.
I... I was an idiot.
1041
00:49:50,208 --> 00:49:52,916
I didn't listen to you,
and now this thing is spreading.
1042
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:54,916
We need to join forces and...
1043
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:56,583
To save the family?
1044
00:49:56,666 --> 00:49:58,041
No, honey.
1045
00:49:58,875 --> 00:50:00,500
To do the right thing.
1046
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:03,833
You're a much bigger person than me.
1047
00:50:04,833 --> 00:50:06,500
You're the best father ever.
1048
00:50:09,125 --> 00:50:10,791
- I love you.
- I love you too.
1049
00:50:12,458 --> 00:50:14,458
But the problem is
I don't know where to start.
1050
00:50:14,541 --> 00:50:16,583
Okay, but first we need to make a plan.
1051
00:50:16,666 --> 00:50:20,333
Let's talk to Ameba, because Uncle Greg
said something about a party?
1052
00:50:21,250 --> 00:50:22,083
A party?
1053
00:50:22,166 --> 00:50:23,500
It's a ball.
1054
00:50:24,291 --> 00:50:25,541
With vampires.
1055
00:50:26,083 --> 00:50:27,833
[groans]
1056
00:50:27,916 --> 00:50:30,458
- [crow caws]
- [man 1 humming]
1057
00:50:33,500 --> 00:50:34,625
[man 2] Hey, boss.
1058
00:50:34,708 --> 00:50:37,166
Can you confirm that everything is correct
for the delivery?
1059
00:50:37,250 --> 00:50:38,500
[Reinfildo mutters indistinctly]
1060
00:50:38,583 --> 00:50:40,958
Party here is going to be awesome.
1061
00:50:41,041 --> 00:50:42,916
Amazing production value.
1062
00:50:44,083 --> 00:50:48,291
What is it going to be, huh?
Graduation? Sweet 16? [laughs]
1063
00:50:48,375 --> 00:50:49,500
Oh, Jesus, Jesus.
1064
00:50:52,458 --> 00:50:55,083
- My bad. Memorial?
- [pencil scratching]
1065
00:50:55,166 --> 00:50:57,750
Of course, yeah. That's complicated.
1066
00:50:57,833 --> 00:51:00,375
Oh, God, there's... another one. My God.
1067
00:51:00,958 --> 00:51:02,083
Jesus.
1068
00:51:02,166 --> 00:51:03,500
Unlucky, boss.
1069
00:51:04,666 --> 00:51:07,083
Oh, it's cold. I... I'm shivering.
1070
00:51:07,166 --> 00:51:08,833
Uh, my God!
1071
00:51:10,208 --> 00:51:12,458
Check it out. Apparently, Carol was right.
1072
00:51:12,541 --> 00:51:15,625
The vampires will have a party,
and with good reason.
1073
00:51:15,708 --> 00:51:18,583
Ullah Drax, a powerful
Romanian businessman, is in Brazil.
1074
00:51:18,666 --> 00:51:22,000
Everyone suspects
that he's the real Count Dracula.
1075
00:51:22,083 --> 00:51:25,000
They suspect? Ullah Drax? Ullah Drax!
1076
00:51:25,083 --> 00:51:28,250
It's obvious this guy is Count Dracula.
What's there to suspect?
1077
00:51:28,333 --> 00:51:30,625
It's obvious for us because we believe it.
1078
00:51:30,708 --> 00:51:33,833
People don't know any better.
But he is... He is the vampire alpha.
1079
00:51:33,916 --> 00:51:36,916
Dad, if we kill Ullah Drax,
all the others go back to normal.
1080
00:51:37,000 --> 00:51:38,166
And we could save Greg!
1081
00:51:38,250 --> 00:51:40,833
- Who said I want to save Greg?
- What about Mom?
1082
00:51:40,916 --> 00:51:42,708
Don't ask me
such difficult questions, sweetie.
1083
00:51:42,791 --> 00:51:44,125
And Chicão and Claudionor!
1084
00:51:44,208 --> 00:51:46,166
And all the other people, Dad.
1085
00:51:46,250 --> 00:51:48,791
I know, you're right. I'm sorry.
I had the worst night.
1086
00:51:48,875 --> 00:51:50,250
I don't wanna see any vampires.
1087
00:51:50,333 --> 00:51:52,041
- [yells]
- [yells]
1088
00:51:52,125 --> 00:51:54,958
Sweetheart, for the love of God!
Don't bite Papa. Your Papa loves you!
1089
00:51:55,041 --> 00:51:57,166
- Bite Ameba! He's not family.
- Don't come close!
1090
00:51:57,250 --> 00:51:58,291
Take the boy!
1091
00:51:58,375 --> 00:52:01,166
Don't overreact. You don't need
to do all of that. She's just so cute!
1092
00:52:01,250 --> 00:52:05,083
- Cute? Tell that to my underwear.
- It's uncalled-for, okay?
1093
00:52:05,166 --> 00:52:07,291
- What's with the costume?
- Ah! It's for Halloween.
1094
00:52:07,375 --> 00:52:09,750
The imported American holiday
the kids love.
1095
00:52:09,833 --> 00:52:14,250
I'll confess, I'd prefer she be Curupira.
A national hero, a creature of light.
1096
00:52:14,333 --> 00:52:18,083
But she wanted to dress up as a vampire,
so she's gonna be a vampire. Let's change.
1097
00:52:18,166 --> 00:52:20,083
- The party's tomorrow, sweetie.
- Halloween?
1098
00:52:20,166 --> 00:52:21,250
Tomorrow already?
1099
00:52:21,875 --> 00:52:24,875
Well, the plan is as follows.
Sweetheart, let me ask you something.
1100
00:52:24,958 --> 00:52:27,291
What's that thing you like? "Codplace"?
1101
00:52:27,375 --> 00:52:28,833
- Cosplay.
- Cosplay, exactly.
1102
00:52:28,916 --> 00:52:32,000
You could dress up as some vampires, yeah?
1103
00:52:32,083 --> 00:52:33,750
Yes, I can do that. It's possible.
1104
00:52:33,833 --> 00:52:36,208
[funky suspenseful music playing]
1105
00:52:39,791 --> 00:52:44,000
Tomorrow night,
we'll all be disguised as vampires.
1106
00:52:44,083 --> 00:52:47,166
That way Vanessa won't suspect anything,
because it's Halloween.
1107
00:52:47,250 --> 00:52:48,375
[crafty laugh]
1108
00:52:48,458 --> 00:52:53,416
In the meantime,
we will take care of the equipment.
1109
00:52:53,500 --> 00:52:54,583
I'll make stakes.
1110
00:52:55,541 --> 00:52:57,541
[music continues]
1111
00:53:00,083 --> 00:53:02,083
[Fernandinho] Ameba,
you take care of the rest.
1112
00:53:02,166 --> 00:53:03,708
- What rest?
- The rest.
1113
00:53:03,791 --> 00:53:05,791
Arrows, a crucifix, and holy water.
1114
00:53:11,375 --> 00:53:13,375
[music continues]
1115
00:53:14,750 --> 00:53:16,166
{\an8}VAMPIRE SLAYING KIT
1116
00:53:16,250 --> 00:53:17,625
BONUS!
CARVED CROSS
1117
00:53:18,708 --> 00:53:20,416
SAME-DAY DELIVERY
BUY NOW
1118
00:53:20,500 --> 00:53:23,500
And I know where to take it.
To the church.
1119
00:53:23,583 --> 00:53:24,791
[bell tolls]
1120
00:53:27,875 --> 00:53:29,416
Because we're gonna need a priest...
1121
00:53:30,833 --> 00:53:32,416
to bless everything, okay?
1122
00:53:35,666 --> 00:53:38,291
After that, we'll wait for the sun to set,
1123
00:53:38,375 --> 00:53:40,041
and we'll rendezvous...
1124
00:53:40,708 --> 00:53:41,750
here.
1125
00:53:48,791 --> 00:53:50,541
In our living room here at home.
1126
00:53:50,625 --> 00:53:54,416
- Fernandinho, you drew the whole house.
- Shut up. Can you draw?
1127
00:53:54,500 --> 00:53:56,416
Do you know the hard work
it took me to do this?
1128
00:53:56,500 --> 00:53:58,458
Tremendous hard work. I used two pens.
1129
00:53:58,541 --> 00:54:01,416
We'll strut around
like it's just Halloween.
1130
00:54:01,500 --> 00:54:03,750
"Oh, Halloween, it's happening.
Such a fun holiday."
1131
00:54:03,833 --> 00:54:06,666
I'll park the car far from the house.
Notice how far.
1132
00:54:06,750 --> 00:54:08,125
Genius. Genius!
1133
00:54:08,208 --> 00:54:09,750
Ssh! Don't interrupt me.
1134
00:54:09,833 --> 00:54:12,125
Then, we will move... [imitates revving]
1135
00:54:12,208 --> 00:54:14,458
...in the direction of the house of Michele.
1136
00:54:14,541 --> 00:54:17,000
- When we get there...
- We will kill Drax!
1137
00:54:17,083 --> 00:54:19,083
Shut your mouth. That was my moment.
1138
00:54:20,125 --> 00:54:21,541
We will kill...
1139
00:54:23,083 --> 00:54:24,458
Ullah Drax.
1140
00:54:24,541 --> 00:54:27,291
- Yeah!
- Oh, such a nerd.
1141
00:54:27,958 --> 00:54:30,791
[music continues]
1142
00:54:40,708 --> 00:54:42,083
[record skid]
1143
00:54:42,166 --> 00:54:44,041
- [daughter] Hi, Dad.
- Hi, sweetie.
1144
00:54:44,625 --> 00:54:46,166
She ruined our whole thing.
1145
00:54:46,250 --> 00:54:48,958
[Vanessa] I love your costumes, guys.
My love, you look amazing!
1146
00:54:49,041 --> 00:54:51,166
- Oh, that's great, honey.
- [camera clicks]
1147
00:54:51,250 --> 00:54:53,875
- You look just like Hebe.
- No... Oh, man.
1148
00:54:53,958 --> 00:54:56,375
- [Vanessa] Aren't you coming?
- No, I'm going with them.
1149
00:54:56,458 --> 00:54:59,291
I can't leave them alone.
You know, teenagers. [laughs]
1150
00:54:59,375 --> 00:55:01,666
- Okay.
- I'll see you later.
1151
00:55:01,750 --> 00:55:04,125
- [Vanessa] We want vegan candy.
- [Fernandinho] Hebe?
1152
00:55:04,208 --> 00:55:08,375
[upbeat music playing]
1153
00:55:12,041 --> 00:55:13,625
[Carol] You need to keep up, Dad!
1154
00:55:13,708 --> 00:55:16,458
I can't walk anywhere
with this costume up my ass.
1155
00:55:18,041 --> 00:55:19,916
Get a look at this guy! [chuckling]
1156
00:55:20,958 --> 00:55:22,750
Dude, that's sick!
1157
00:55:22,833 --> 00:55:25,791
Hey, dude, you really do make
a convincing nun.
1158
00:55:25,875 --> 00:55:27,625
[awkward laugh] No, this is not...
1159
00:55:27,708 --> 00:55:30,291
- That's, like, really scary.
- It's wild.
1160
00:55:31,250 --> 00:55:34,958
Honey, did you have a worse costume
that you could have given me or no?
1161
00:55:35,041 --> 00:55:37,000
Dad, don't complain.
1162
00:55:41,500 --> 00:55:45,375
[eerie music playing]
1163
00:55:47,083 --> 00:55:49,083
[tires screech]
1164
00:55:50,791 --> 00:55:53,291
[music fades]
1165
00:55:55,916 --> 00:55:58,333
[dramatic ominous music playing]
1166
00:56:00,583 --> 00:56:02,291
[crow cawing]
1167
00:56:03,208 --> 00:56:05,625
[Fernandinho] Ameba,
did you bring everything that we need?
1168
00:56:05,708 --> 00:56:07,833
[Ameba] Yeah, right here.
Balloons with holy water,
1169
00:56:07,916 --> 00:56:09,291
a crucifix and stakes.
1170
00:56:09,375 --> 00:56:10,916
- Good.
- And the crossbow?
1171
00:56:11,000 --> 00:56:12,000
- [rattling]
- Oh boy.
1172
00:56:12,083 --> 00:56:13,666
How stupid can one person be?
1173
00:56:14,250 --> 00:56:15,958
Well, well, well.
1174
00:56:16,041 --> 00:56:19,708
What a night
for sipping some blood, right guys?
1175
00:56:20,291 --> 00:56:21,916
To exchange ideas...
1176
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:24,083
Not now? Okay.
1177
00:56:24,166 --> 00:56:26,375
Stakes, the crucifix...
Everything's blessed?
1178
00:56:26,458 --> 00:56:29,500
- Yes, everything here is ready.
- Come on, hurry.
1179
00:56:31,458 --> 00:56:34,666
Don't make the sign of the cross.
Are you crazy? Trying to get caught?
1180
00:56:36,833 --> 00:56:39,250
[sniffs, grunts]
1181
00:56:40,583 --> 00:56:41,500
[Reinfildo grunts]
1182
00:56:50,125 --> 00:56:52,791
- Ameba, please, don't screw this up.
- [Ameba] Okay.
1183
00:56:55,125 --> 00:56:57,375
[spooky organ music playing]
1184
00:56:58,958 --> 00:57:01,958
- [indistinct chatter]
- [scattered laughter]
1185
00:57:02,041 --> 00:57:04,958
We have to avoid bumping into people
that know us.
1186
00:57:09,625 --> 00:57:10,958
[growls]
1187
00:57:12,250 --> 00:57:13,458
[chuckling]
1188
00:57:14,291 --> 00:57:17,500
Holy crap!
What has my mother done to her house?
1189
00:57:18,375 --> 00:57:19,541
I can't believe it!
1190
00:57:20,666 --> 00:57:23,583
I love your hair! [shrill laugh]
1191
00:57:25,375 --> 00:57:27,583
- Oof!
- I know. Mama didn't recognize you.
1192
00:57:27,666 --> 00:57:30,291
That is traumatizing.
Daddy will pay for therapy.
1193
00:57:30,375 --> 00:57:33,208
Listen here, we need to figure out
where the big boss is.
1194
00:57:34,166 --> 00:57:36,416
- I don't see him anywhere.
- Me neither.
1195
00:57:36,500 --> 00:57:38,166
- I see it.
- Who?
1196
00:57:38,250 --> 00:57:39,666
Not "who," but "what."
1197
00:57:40,666 --> 00:57:43,000
My ball with Pelé's autograph.
1198
00:57:43,500 --> 00:57:46,250
I'm taking that ball home with me tonight.
1199
00:57:46,333 --> 00:57:48,291
- Dad, I don't think this is the time...
- Ssh!
1200
00:57:48,875 --> 00:57:51,208
That ball is very important to me.
1201
00:57:51,291 --> 00:57:53,375
It's from when he played for Vasco.
1202
00:57:53,458 --> 00:57:55,000
[breathy] Hey, Carol is right, man.
1203
00:57:55,083 --> 00:57:56,708
I can't understand a word with this.
1204
00:57:56,791 --> 00:57:59,041
Carol's right. Not the time
to worry about Pelé's ball.
1205
00:58:00,250 --> 00:58:02,583
Do you understand what you said?
For God's sake, kid.
1206
00:58:02,666 --> 00:58:04,208
What do we do now?
1207
00:58:04,291 --> 00:58:06,375
I think it's best to split up
so we get a better view.
1208
00:58:06,458 --> 00:58:08,458
Yes. Good idea, sweetie. Very smart.
1209
00:58:09,583 --> 00:58:12,416
What part... What part of "split up"
is confusing you?
1210
00:58:15,041 --> 00:58:17,041
[laughter, party chatter]
1211
00:58:23,791 --> 00:58:25,208
[Reinfildo growls]
1212
00:58:25,916 --> 00:58:27,666
Oh, how's it going?
1213
00:58:27,750 --> 00:58:29,958
I'm sorry.
I don't have any change for you.
1214
00:58:30,041 --> 00:58:32,791
Ooh, I'm sorry.
I guess that's a cyst back there.
1215
00:58:32,875 --> 00:58:35,958
- You can have that removed. Ooh!
- [dramatic sting]
1216
00:58:36,583 --> 00:58:39,625
Hey, we asked
if you'd like to have some blood.
1217
00:58:39,708 --> 00:58:41,708
- Yes, that's okay.
- Yeah, go on.
1218
00:58:41,791 --> 00:58:44,041
- Is it red?
- All blood is red.
1219
00:58:44,125 --> 00:58:46,125
[Fernandinho] Yeah,
I would be interested but...
1220
00:58:46,208 --> 00:58:49,500
Not tonight, because
I'm on a very strict diet,
1221
00:58:49,583 --> 00:58:51,458
due to a problem with my gallbladder.
1222
00:58:51,541 --> 00:58:54,625
What are you saying?
I've never seen a vampire refuse blood.
1223
00:58:55,500 --> 00:58:57,208
Uh, no it's just that...
1224
00:58:57,291 --> 00:58:59,541
Oh, we've got an audience now.
1225
00:58:59,625 --> 00:59:02,208
No, okay, it's fine.
I'll just start the diet on Monday.
1226
00:59:02,291 --> 00:59:03,166
[Homero] Drink up.
1227
00:59:03,791 --> 00:59:05,875
Yes, I'll drink up. I...
1228
00:59:05,958 --> 00:59:07,500
[gagging]
1229
00:59:07,583 --> 00:59:11,333
Uh, what is the vintage?
Is it AB positive?
1230
00:59:11,416 --> 00:59:12,833
[indistinct]
1231
00:59:12,916 --> 00:59:16,833
Hmm, it's viscous.
If you look carefully, it's viscous.
1232
00:59:16,916 --> 00:59:18,250
- It's not a problem.
- Drink up.
1233
00:59:18,333 --> 00:59:20,833
Yes, yes, I'll drink up.
I... [clears throat]
1234
00:59:21,750 --> 00:59:22,916
This vintage...
1235
00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:24,125
[all gasp]
1236
00:59:28,666 --> 00:59:32,958
[Fernandinho] Hmm. Hmm!
1237
00:59:33,041 --> 00:59:34,625
Very good. Wow, so good.
1238
00:59:34,708 --> 00:59:37,000
Wow... [smacks lips] ...ah!
1239
00:59:37,583 --> 00:59:41,958
Very good. Oh, boy, that's perfectly...
[gags] ...delicious.
1240
00:59:42,041 --> 00:59:44,750
It's got a very slight taste
of hemoglobin.
1241
00:59:44,833 --> 00:59:46,125
Is that what I'm tasting?
1242
00:59:46,208 --> 00:59:49,333
And the aftertaste?
Well, that is cholesterol.
1243
00:59:49,916 --> 00:59:51,208
It's very fine blood.
1244
00:59:51,291 --> 00:59:54,166
But I'll just stick
to having that one glass, my friend.
1245
00:59:54,250 --> 00:59:56,958
You never know when you're leaving.
1246
00:59:57,041 --> 00:59:59,916
It went straight through me.
I hadn't had any in a long time.
1247
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:02,750
Every single time this happens, I have to...
1248
01:00:02,833 --> 01:00:04,083
If you'll excuse me.
1249
01:00:04,166 --> 01:00:07,500
You better get that checked.
Excuse me, Mr. Speak-a-Lot.
1250
01:00:11,125 --> 01:00:12,625
[sniffs]
1251
01:00:18,458 --> 01:00:20,625
[owl hooting]
1252
01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:25,791
- [laughing]
- [organ music playing]
1253
01:00:29,708 --> 01:00:31,541
Hello. How are you?
1254
01:00:31,625 --> 01:00:33,625
Hey. Very short. Little guy.
1255
01:00:34,125 --> 01:00:36,125
Oh, Little Red Riding Hood, hello.
1256
01:00:36,625 --> 01:00:38,458
Where are you going, handsome?
1257
01:00:38,541 --> 01:00:41,208
I was just walking around here.
[nervous laugh]
1258
01:00:41,291 --> 01:00:43,166
- How are you?
- Just fine.
1259
01:00:44,833 --> 01:00:47,791
- I love your outfit.
- Ah, so glad you like it.
1260
01:00:47,875 --> 01:00:51,208
I bought it from an outlet store
in Transylvania. Do you know Transylvania?
1261
01:00:51,291 --> 01:00:52,791
- I love it.
- Ah.
1262
01:00:52,875 --> 01:00:54,416
- I'm from there.
- You are?
1263
01:00:54,500 --> 01:00:56,875
Holy crap, I'm spinning.
1264
01:00:59,083 --> 01:01:00,333
Bastard!
1265
01:01:00,416 --> 01:01:02,500
[Fernandinho] Jesus,
you really got me there.
1266
01:01:02,583 --> 01:01:03,625
[record skid]
1267
01:01:03,708 --> 01:01:04,916
[funky music playing]
1268
01:01:05,916 --> 01:01:06,916
I like that jam.
1269
01:01:07,458 --> 01:01:08,958
That... That's my jam right there.
1270
01:01:09,041 --> 01:01:10,791
♪ It's your lucky day ♪
1271
01:01:10,875 --> 01:01:13,500
♪ I get close to suck that neck ♪
1272
01:01:13,583 --> 01:01:15,833
- ♪ Suck ♪
- ♪ Suck that neck ♪
1273
01:01:15,916 --> 01:01:19,000
- ♪ Suck ♪
- ♪ Suck that neck ♪
1274
01:01:19,083 --> 01:01:22,208
- ♪ Suck ♪
- ♪ Suck that neck ♪
1275
01:01:22,291 --> 01:01:25,791
- ♪ Suck ♪
- ♪ Suck that neck ♪
1276
01:01:25,875 --> 01:01:29,041
♪ We're getting the party going
In my coffin ♪
1277
01:01:29,125 --> 01:01:32,208
♪ She is ready with a glass in her hand ♪
1278
01:01:32,291 --> 01:01:35,000
♪ She looks good and ready for blood ♪
1279
01:01:35,083 --> 01:01:36,625
♪ So tasty! ♪
1280
01:01:36,708 --> 01:01:38,625
♪ Vampi, vampi, vampire ♪
1281
01:01:38,708 --> 01:01:40,625
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ She's ready to party ♪
1282
01:01:40,708 --> 01:01:42,416
♪ It's your lucky day ♪
1283
01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:45,166
Silence! Silence, please.
1284
01:01:45,250 --> 01:01:48,833
- My guest has something to say.
- Thank you, queen.
1285
01:01:49,416 --> 01:01:51,958
Friends, I'd like a moment
of your attention.
1286
01:01:52,041 --> 01:01:53,583
Today is a very special day.
1287
01:01:53,666 --> 01:01:58,958
We are celebrating having the honor
of welcoming our great leader.
1288
01:02:00,125 --> 01:02:01,291
Ullah Drax,
1289
01:02:01,375 --> 01:02:04,541
better known as Count Dracula!
1290
01:02:04,625 --> 01:02:06,416
[all gasp]
1291
01:02:07,083 --> 01:02:08,333
[man] Master!
1292
01:02:08,416 --> 01:02:09,625
[woman] Master.
1293
01:02:18,458 --> 01:02:20,000
Hey, look over here.
1294
01:02:20,625 --> 01:02:21,916
My subjects.
1295
01:02:25,708 --> 01:02:26,916
My friends.
1296
01:02:28,083 --> 01:02:30,166
My loyal soldiers.
1297
01:02:30,250 --> 01:02:33,416
This is a very important moment
for every single one of us.
1298
01:02:33,500 --> 01:02:36,541
The lands of the North with frigid nights
1299
01:02:37,541 --> 01:02:39,208
have been conquered.
1300
01:02:39,291 --> 01:02:41,541
Half of the world is ours.
1301
01:02:41,625 --> 01:02:44,291
But the sunny lands of the South,
1302
01:02:44,375 --> 01:02:45,750
where it's warm...
1303
01:02:46,666 --> 01:02:50,375
We have only just begun our purpose
on this plain.
1304
01:02:50,458 --> 01:02:54,291
We still have much to do around here.
1305
01:02:54,375 --> 01:03:00,583
You are just the beginning
of a great and glorious civilization,
1306
01:03:00,666 --> 01:03:04,958
of a brand-new race! [sinister laugh]
1307
01:03:06,666 --> 01:03:10,916
We must come to understand
we have many enemies around us.
1308
01:03:11,000 --> 01:03:13,416
None of us is safe from being attacked
1309
01:03:13,500 --> 01:03:16,333
or from being killed by some mortal enemy.
1310
01:03:17,041 --> 01:03:20,416
But I assure you, as long as I survive,
1311
01:03:20,500 --> 01:03:23,625
all of you will survive.
1312
01:03:30,916 --> 01:03:32,958
- Greg?
- I'm here, master.
1313
01:03:33,541 --> 01:03:35,916
You were fundamental in this conquest.
1314
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:39,083
Without you,
none of this would be possible.
1315
01:03:39,166 --> 01:03:40,625
Thank you, master, thank you.
1316
01:03:40,708 --> 01:03:42,958
I'm very happy with all your efforts.
1317
01:03:43,833 --> 01:03:46,458
I have a surprise prepared for you.
1318
01:03:47,500 --> 01:03:53,500
I know you could never bring yourself
to transform your sister and your niece.
1319
01:03:55,166 --> 01:03:57,416
[Vanessa] I'm sorry.
Wow, it's so dusty here.
1320
01:03:57,500 --> 01:03:58,541
How great.
1321
01:03:58,625 --> 01:04:03,875
But I will not let you go forward
and enjoy eternal life without them.
1322
01:04:04,500 --> 01:04:05,833
[Vanessa] Wow, it's so dusty here.
1323
01:04:05,916 --> 01:04:08,708
Party for dust mites.
I forgot my antihistamines.
1324
01:04:08,791 --> 01:04:09,958
[gasps] Vanessa!
1325
01:04:10,041 --> 01:04:12,958
Brother, your boss was insistent
that we come here.
1326
01:04:13,625 --> 01:04:15,875
Ah! He's right behind me.
I'm a married woman.
1327
01:04:15,958 --> 01:04:18,666
Oh my God. That's close. Wow. [giggles]
1328
01:04:19,375 --> 01:04:22,833
You guys, what an amazing production.
The party looks great!
1329
01:04:22,916 --> 01:04:26,166
Wait. Is that Michele?
She looks different.
1330
01:04:26,250 --> 01:04:28,666
What's that salad-eater doing
in my house, huh?
1331
01:04:28,750 --> 01:04:29,958
Here we go.
1332
01:04:30,041 --> 01:04:32,750
Just look at the pale witch.
Right? So pale.
1333
01:04:32,833 --> 01:04:36,500
Did you get fillers?
I mean, that face looks like a war zone.
1334
01:04:36,583 --> 01:04:38,958
[trills] Uh, I look better, right? Hmm?
1335
01:04:39,708 --> 01:04:40,958
Let's make a toast...
1336
01:04:41,041 --> 01:04:45,791
- [woman] Long live Drax!
- ...to conquering a new continent!
1337
01:04:45,875 --> 01:04:47,041
Long live Drax!
1338
01:04:47,125 --> 01:04:48,458
[crowd] Long live Drax!
1339
01:04:49,375 --> 01:04:51,291
- [Vanessa] Long live!
- Long live Drax!
1340
01:04:51,375 --> 01:04:56,708
[crowd chanting] Long live Drax!
1341
01:05:00,375 --> 01:05:03,541
- [Vanessa] Long live Drax!
- [crowd chanting] Long live Drax!
1342
01:05:03,625 --> 01:05:06,666
[chanting intensifies]
1343
01:05:11,166 --> 01:05:12,041
Long live!
1344
01:05:15,125 --> 01:05:16,500
[crowd continues chanting]
1345
01:05:16,583 --> 01:05:17,916
Ssh!
1346
01:05:18,000 --> 01:05:19,291
[Vanessa] Long live!
1347
01:05:26,458 --> 01:05:27,458
[Vanessa exclaims]
1348
01:05:30,041 --> 01:05:31,250
[chanting continues]
1349
01:05:34,250 --> 01:05:36,708
- [agonized growl]
- [crowd screaming]
1350
01:05:37,916 --> 01:05:40,625
[panicked screams]
1351
01:05:42,041 --> 01:05:45,750
[screams fade to silence]
1352
01:05:45,833 --> 01:05:47,125
[gags]
1353
01:05:50,041 --> 01:05:52,041
[vampires gasping]
1354
01:05:53,125 --> 01:05:55,541
- [Fernandinho] Oh, that's great.
- What's going on?
1355
01:05:55,625 --> 01:05:57,958
I know what this is, Carol.
You see, I know what this is.
1356
01:05:58,041 --> 01:06:00,041
It's indigestion.
It's because he eats meat.
1357
01:06:00,125 --> 01:06:03,000
- It takes eight hours to digest.
- We are the ones that'll be digested.
1358
01:06:03,083 --> 01:06:05,916
- Vanessa!
- Fernandinho? What are you doing here?
1359
01:06:06,000 --> 01:06:09,750
Oh my love, I'm saving the world
from an invasion of vampires! Understand?
1360
01:06:09,833 --> 01:06:10,833
Again with this story?
1361
01:06:10,916 --> 01:06:13,250
- It's not a story. I'm telling you.
- [ominous growl]
1362
01:06:13,333 --> 01:06:15,500
[growl intensifies]
1363
01:06:20,291 --> 01:06:21,333
[arrow clatters]
1364
01:06:22,000 --> 01:06:23,000
We should get out of here.
1365
01:06:24,416 --> 01:06:25,625
[thunder roll]
1366
01:06:25,708 --> 01:06:27,708
And who pray tell is this?
1367
01:06:28,625 --> 01:06:31,166
- What is going on here, Ameba?
- I don't know.
1368
01:06:31,250 --> 01:06:33,083
- What is going on here?
- I just asked that.
1369
01:06:33,166 --> 01:06:35,458
- Uncle Greg!
- Oh, thank goodness, brother.
1370
01:06:35,541 --> 01:06:37,291
What's going on, Greg?
1371
01:06:37,375 --> 01:06:38,958
Vanessa! [hisses]
1372
01:06:41,666 --> 01:06:42,833
Stay, Vanessa.
1373
01:06:44,416 --> 01:06:46,583
No one let our guests run away.
1374
01:06:47,541 --> 01:06:49,000
Or should I say...
1375
01:06:49,083 --> 01:06:52,000
our precious main course this evening?
1376
01:06:52,083 --> 01:06:54,791
Guys, I'm not getting very good energy
from you here.
1377
01:06:54,875 --> 01:06:57,083
I'm not really enjoying this game.
Count me out.
1378
01:06:57,166 --> 01:06:58,833
It's not a game, Vanessa.
1379
01:06:59,416 --> 01:07:02,000
[growling, hissing]
1380
01:07:02,083 --> 01:07:03,250
[evil laughter]
1381
01:07:03,333 --> 01:07:05,500
- [Fernandinho] Go!
- [Carol] Over here.
1382
01:07:06,875 --> 01:07:08,000
Hey, Ameba?
1383
01:07:08,083 --> 01:07:10,375
My cross is not working.
I think it might be broken.
1384
01:07:11,541 --> 01:07:14,333
Hey, we have holy water! So much of it.
1385
01:07:14,416 --> 01:07:15,583
[Ameba] And it's very wet!
1386
01:07:15,666 --> 01:07:18,666
- All water is wet! A stupid thing to say.
- I didn't know what to say.
1387
01:07:18,750 --> 01:07:20,666
- [Drax] Bring them to me up here.
- Oh, yeah?
1388
01:07:20,750 --> 01:07:23,875
That's not holy water.
I'd sense it from afar.
1389
01:07:23,958 --> 01:07:27,166
Yeah? All right then,
we'll see about that. Die!
1390
01:07:27,250 --> 01:07:29,708
- Die!
- [Ameba] Die!
1391
01:07:29,791 --> 01:07:31,125
Die!
1392
01:07:31,208 --> 01:07:32,583
- Die!
- Die!
1393
01:07:32,666 --> 01:07:35,708
- Sucker, die!
- Ameba, why aren't they dying?
1394
01:07:35,791 --> 01:07:38,083
- They should be dying.
- They should.
1395
01:07:38,166 --> 01:07:39,916
- Why aren't they?
- I don't know!
1396
01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:42,416
Bring those idiots to me.
1397
01:07:42,500 --> 01:07:44,625
[all yelling]
1398
01:07:46,500 --> 01:07:50,208
[screams] Run, Ameba! Run! [screaming]
1399
01:07:52,541 --> 01:07:54,333
Dad, come on!
1400
01:07:56,125 --> 01:07:58,791
- Hurry, and shut the door!
- [screaming]
1401
01:07:58,875 --> 01:08:01,416
- [Fernandinho] Hold it, Vanessa!
- Let me out of here!
1402
01:08:02,583 --> 01:08:06,458
- Please, hurry up and get something.
- Go on, hit it now!
1403
01:08:07,291 --> 01:08:09,333
What's happening, Fernandinho?
1404
01:08:09,416 --> 01:08:11,750
Really? You still don't understand?
Seriously?
1405
01:08:11,833 --> 01:08:14,708
- Dad was right. Uncle Greg is a vampire.
- That's amazing.
1406
01:08:14,791 --> 01:08:17,333
Stop it. Greg is vegan!
He wouldn't drink blood.
1407
01:08:17,416 --> 01:08:21,250
He's not vegan, Vanessa! Stop with that.
Your brother's an evil creature from hell.
1408
01:08:21,333 --> 01:08:23,500
That's it. He's a bloodsucking vampire!
1409
01:08:23,583 --> 01:08:26,583
You have to stop defending your brother
for once in your life, Vanessa!
1410
01:08:27,250 --> 01:08:28,666
[growling]
1411
01:08:28,750 --> 01:08:31,291
[grunting]
1412
01:08:31,375 --> 01:08:33,916
He convinced me this whole time.
Please help me here!
1413
01:08:34,000 --> 01:08:37,666
- Oh, for God's sake. Hold this, sweetie.
- Dad, we need to find a way out of here.
1414
01:08:37,750 --> 01:08:40,125
Guys, the door won't hold for much longer.
1415
01:08:40,208 --> 01:08:42,166
What can we do? We don't have weapons!
1416
01:08:42,250 --> 01:08:43,416
- Yes, we do.
- Where?
1417
01:08:43,500 --> 01:08:46,541
They don't work, kiddo!
Are you sure you had them blessed?
1418
01:08:46,625 --> 01:08:48,583
- Of course, I went to a church!
- Which church?
1419
01:08:48,666 --> 01:08:50,666
It's not important.
What are you talking about?
1420
01:08:50,750 --> 01:08:54,375
It is important. It had to be
a Roman Catholic Apostolic church.
1421
01:08:54,458 --> 01:08:56,291
- With a priest.
- Oh.
1422
01:08:56,375 --> 01:08:58,583
- Keep blocking the door, okay?
- I needed a priest?
1423
01:08:58,666 --> 01:09:00,458
Which church was it? Please.
1424
01:09:00,541 --> 01:09:04,166
Uh, I went to a cool church.
It looked like a mall. "God is Great."
1425
01:09:04,250 --> 01:09:06,333
"God is Great"?
You didn't go to "God is Great."
1426
01:09:06,416 --> 01:09:08,583
It's Oliveira's. No way,
he played with me.
1427
01:09:08,666 --> 01:09:11,833
- I went to one, but it was closed.
- Listen, man, I'm not kidding.
1428
01:09:11,916 --> 01:09:13,750
Completely useless. I'll feed you to them.
1429
01:09:13,833 --> 01:09:15,750
- Get over here. Come here, you.
- I'm sorry!
1430
01:09:16,875 --> 01:09:20,583
Ouch, Dad! We can't do this now.
We need to find another way out.
1431
01:09:20,666 --> 01:09:23,666
- There's no other way out!
- I know... I know what to do!
1432
01:09:23,750 --> 01:09:26,625
The book says that if the arrows
and water are not blessed,
1433
01:09:26,708 --> 01:09:29,083
they could be anointed
with the blood of a virgin.
1434
01:09:29,166 --> 01:09:32,541
- Ah! Problem solved!
- So we just need the blood of a virgin.
1435
01:09:32,625 --> 01:09:35,500
- Give me your hand.
- Now is your time to save the world.
1436
01:09:35,583 --> 01:09:38,250
Give me your hand. I'm sorry.
I know you don't like blood.
1437
01:09:38,333 --> 01:09:40,958
- [Vanessa] Not Carol. No.
- Now is not the time to be afraid.
1438
01:09:41,041 --> 01:09:44,083
- Uh, no, Dad, I... I'm not a virgin.
- What?!
1439
01:09:44,166 --> 01:09:45,750
[choked sob]
1440
01:09:45,833 --> 01:09:47,958
My daughter is not a virgin!
1441
01:09:48,041 --> 01:09:50,541
[Vanessa] Not a big deal.
We can talk about it when we get home.
1442
01:09:50,625 --> 01:09:52,541
Honey, you're overreacting.
1443
01:09:52,625 --> 01:09:54,166
Please, Dad.
1444
01:09:55,708 --> 01:09:57,125
- It was you.
- No!
1445
01:09:57,208 --> 01:09:59,750
- I know it was you.
- We were never together.
1446
01:09:59,833 --> 01:10:01,041
- Guys, listen.
- What?
1447
01:10:01,875 --> 01:10:03,041
I'm a virgin, okay?
1448
01:10:03,125 --> 01:10:04,500
- Wow, really?
- [Vanessa] Jesus.
1449
01:10:04,583 --> 01:10:06,916
- He just said that... God, you're a virgin!
- Seriously?
1450
01:10:07,000 --> 01:10:09,416
You lied to me.
You said you weren't a virgin.
1451
01:10:09,500 --> 01:10:10,458
Only you can lie now?
1452
01:10:10,541 --> 01:10:13,375
- Never mind. You can use my blood.
- Find a vein.
1453
01:10:13,458 --> 01:10:15,208
- Find a vein.
- [Carol] You moron!
1454
01:10:15,291 --> 01:10:18,000
It can only be the blood of a virgin,
and it has to be a girl.
1455
01:10:18,083 --> 01:10:19,500
- Men won't work.
- That's right.
1456
01:10:19,583 --> 01:10:21,000
I confessed for nothing!
1457
01:10:21,083 --> 01:10:23,583
You exposed yourself when
you didn't have to. I'll tell everyone.
1458
01:10:23,666 --> 01:10:25,750
- Be careful, dear.
- We will die!
1459
01:10:25,833 --> 01:10:27,000
- Ameba!
- We'll die!
1460
01:10:27,083 --> 01:10:29,708
Let's hug each other to die together.
Except Ameba.
1461
01:10:29,791 --> 01:10:31,875
- Wait! We've got it, you guys.
- What?
1462
01:10:31,958 --> 01:10:34,000
There is a virgin among us.
1463
01:10:34,916 --> 01:10:36,333
Monica! Duh.
1464
01:10:37,000 --> 01:10:39,083
But I thought I was a Leo.
1465
01:10:39,916 --> 01:10:41,833
Ssh! No, I don't wanna
hear a word from you.
1466
01:10:41,916 --> 01:10:42,833
Can you block the door?
1467
01:10:42,916 --> 01:10:45,500
- I'm trying!
- [Vanessa] Hold the door!
1468
01:10:51,000 --> 01:10:52,416
[Drax] Hmm.
1469
01:10:54,916 --> 01:10:56,000
Master...
1470
01:10:57,041 --> 01:10:58,583
I apologize for the commotion.
1471
01:10:59,166 --> 01:11:01,291
No apologies are necessary, Greg.
1472
01:11:01,375 --> 01:11:04,500
You've made everything
a bit more fun here for us.
1473
01:11:05,250 --> 01:11:07,791
Anyway, they'll all be dead soon enough.
1474
01:11:09,125 --> 01:11:11,333
- But they're my family.
- Previous!
1475
01:11:12,708 --> 01:11:15,583
Now we are your family eternal,
1476
01:11:17,083 --> 01:11:18,208
Gregório.
1477
01:11:19,500 --> 01:11:20,875
- [grunts indistinctly]
- Ugh!
1478
01:11:22,166 --> 01:11:24,666
- [Vanessa] Does it hurt, sweetie?
- Not at all.
1479
01:11:24,750 --> 01:11:26,833
I'm so proud. My daughter's so brave!
1480
01:11:26,916 --> 01:11:29,416
- Very brave.
- Listen up, guys. Everyone behind me.
1481
01:11:29,500 --> 01:11:31,708
Okay, Ameba, distribute the stakes
to everyone.
1482
01:11:31,791 --> 01:11:32,875
Let's go!
1483
01:11:32,958 --> 01:11:34,250
- Come on.
- [Fernandinho] Let's go.
1484
01:11:34,333 --> 01:11:35,666
Be very careful!
1485
01:11:35,750 --> 01:11:38,041
Stay behind me. Ameba, open the door.
1486
01:11:38,875 --> 01:11:40,916
[all screaming]
1487
01:11:44,291 --> 01:11:45,625
[agonized roar]
1488
01:11:49,333 --> 01:11:51,125
No one gonna stop me now!
1489
01:11:51,208 --> 01:11:52,541
[panicked grunting]
1490
01:11:52,625 --> 01:11:54,583
Get out of the way, vampires!
1491
01:11:55,833 --> 01:11:58,750
- [growling]
- [screams]
1492
01:12:02,375 --> 01:12:05,333
- I'm trying, babe, hold on.
- [Vanessa] Go, honey. Hurry.
1493
01:12:06,958 --> 01:12:09,583
- [Carol] Go, Dad, hurry!
- [Monica] Go, Dad.
1494
01:12:09,666 --> 01:12:11,208
- [Vanessa] Be careful!
- [Carol] Dad.
1495
01:12:11,291 --> 01:12:12,875
- [screams]
- Ameba!
1496
01:12:13,833 --> 01:12:14,875
Oh, God!
1497
01:12:14,958 --> 01:12:15,916
[Carol] Ameba!
1498
01:12:16,750 --> 01:12:17,666
No!
1499
01:12:18,166 --> 01:12:19,125
- Carol!
- [Ameba] Go!
1500
01:12:20,416 --> 01:12:22,125
[vampire bride death rattle]
1501
01:12:22,208 --> 01:12:23,833
- Are you okay?
- Yes.
1502
01:12:25,791 --> 01:12:28,041
- Careful.
- Go, Carol, nice.
1503
01:12:28,125 --> 01:12:30,625
[panting]
1504
01:12:41,000 --> 01:12:42,375
- We'll see you at home.
- Go, go, go.
1505
01:12:42,458 --> 01:12:44,791
When you get outside,
you need to run, okay?
1506
01:12:44,875 --> 01:12:47,541
My love, please protect little Monica.
All right, sweetie?
1507
01:12:47,625 --> 01:12:49,375
Ameba and I will take care of this.
1508
01:12:49,458 --> 01:12:50,958
- It'll all be fine, I swear.
- Okay.
1509
01:12:51,708 --> 01:12:53,291
- You're amazing. Hmm.
- Yeah?
1510
01:12:53,375 --> 01:12:55,833
- Better than your brother Greg?
- Much better.
1511
01:12:55,916 --> 01:12:57,708
Take care. Be careful, Ameba!
1512
01:12:57,791 --> 01:12:59,541
Go, go, go. Come on, Ameba.
1513
01:13:00,583 --> 01:13:01,916
- [dramatic sting]
- Huh?
1514
01:13:02,000 --> 01:13:03,208
[Ameba grunts]
1515
01:13:03,291 --> 01:13:06,541
- Did you miss me, bro-in-law?
- No, Greg! Greg!
1516
01:13:10,458 --> 01:13:11,750
You got Vanessa into this.
1517
01:13:13,000 --> 01:13:14,375
She was safe, you idiot!
1518
01:13:14,458 --> 01:13:16,208
- [Vanessa] Wait up!
- [Monica] Come on, Mom!
1519
01:13:16,291 --> 01:13:18,875
[Vanessa] Wait, honey!
Mom's wearing heels!
1520
01:13:18,958 --> 01:13:21,250
Hey, maybe we can use that van!
1521
01:13:22,208 --> 01:13:24,125
Get into the van!
1522
01:13:24,208 --> 01:13:26,916
Get in, Carol, get in! Come on, close it!
1523
01:13:27,000 --> 01:13:30,208
- Where are the keys?
- Hurry! Hurry! Vanessa!
1524
01:13:30,291 --> 01:13:31,625
Hurry up! Hurry up!
1525
01:13:31,708 --> 01:13:34,000
- [dramatic sting]
- [all screaming]
1526
01:13:36,958 --> 01:13:39,125
- Who even is that?
- That's my mom!
1527
01:13:39,208 --> 01:13:41,625
- I never really liked your mother.
- She kinda knew that.
1528
01:13:42,500 --> 01:13:43,916
[throaty roar]
1529
01:13:47,041 --> 01:13:49,958
You were the one
who brought all those vampires here!
1530
01:13:50,750 --> 01:13:52,333
What did my sister see in you, huh?
1531
01:13:52,416 --> 01:13:54,541
We obviously don't choose our in-laws.
1532
01:13:55,291 --> 01:13:56,541
[thud]
1533
01:13:58,291 --> 01:14:01,083
- But we can take them out of the family.
- We are family!
1534
01:14:01,166 --> 01:14:04,375
No, a brother-in-law is not a relative!
1535
01:14:05,416 --> 01:14:07,750
- Fernandinho!
- Get out of here, Ameba!
1536
01:14:12,833 --> 01:14:15,250
[heroic music playing]
1537
01:14:19,833 --> 01:14:20,875
[Gregório screams]
1538
01:14:22,416 --> 01:14:23,750
Ha-ha-ha!
1539
01:14:24,708 --> 01:14:26,500
He's a Vasco fan to his bones.
1540
01:14:27,916 --> 01:14:30,500
- This is for Vasco, boy!
- [both chuckling]
1541
01:14:30,583 --> 01:14:33,000
- Let's go, Mom!
- I would but I don't have the keys!
1542
01:14:33,083 --> 01:14:34,083
Start the car, Vanessa!
1543
01:14:34,166 --> 01:14:37,458
- How? I don't have the keys!
- Well, hot-wire the car!
1544
01:14:39,541 --> 01:14:40,833
[ominous rumble]
1545
01:14:44,041 --> 01:14:46,666
It's not the cross we're afraid of.
1546
01:14:47,500 --> 01:14:50,208
But the faith that you give to the cross.
1547
01:14:51,041 --> 01:14:53,041
However, faith alone
1548
01:14:53,625 --> 01:14:55,875
may not be a sufficient defense.
1549
01:14:56,500 --> 01:14:58,000
Ah, don't give me that.
1550
01:14:58,083 --> 01:15:01,083
You're afraid of coming
anywhere near this cross.
1551
01:15:01,166 --> 01:15:04,083
That's true, but it's not necessary
for me to come near you
1552
01:15:04,166 --> 01:15:06,958
or to anyone, to be able to kill.
1553
01:15:07,041 --> 01:15:08,666
[swooshing energy charge]
1554
01:15:10,833 --> 01:15:11,833
Whoa, did you see that?
1555
01:15:11,916 --> 01:15:14,875
Is he a vampire or a Jedi?
It's supernatural!
1556
01:15:16,041 --> 01:15:17,541
[chilling scream]
1557
01:15:22,291 --> 01:15:24,000
Jesus! Where did she... [screams]
1558
01:15:24,625 --> 01:15:26,416
[metallic screech]
1559
01:15:30,041 --> 01:15:32,250
[distorted] Look who's here.
1560
01:15:32,333 --> 01:15:34,250
You clearly don't understand.
1561
01:15:34,333 --> 01:15:37,000
You can't resist us.
1562
01:15:37,958 --> 01:15:42,500
We will dominate the Southern provinces.
It's only a matter of time.
1563
01:15:42,583 --> 01:15:44,083
Aah!
1564
01:15:46,500 --> 01:15:47,583
[thud]
1565
01:15:47,666 --> 01:15:51,041
Now I'm really screwed. What a way to die.
1566
01:15:52,958 --> 01:15:56,833
Killing you will be absolutely delicious.
1567
01:15:57,500 --> 01:15:58,625
[gulps]
1568
01:16:05,541 --> 01:16:07,250
[bloodcurdling snarl]
1569
01:16:14,708 --> 01:16:17,125
He turned into a bat. Oh my God.
1570
01:16:18,041 --> 01:16:19,208
[terrifying growl]
1571
01:16:21,375 --> 01:16:23,666
[dramatic music builds]
1572
01:16:24,708 --> 01:16:27,500
Jesus! [grunting]
1573
01:16:43,000 --> 01:16:44,416
Ameba!
1574
01:16:44,500 --> 01:16:46,583
Jesus! [panting]
1575
01:16:46,666 --> 01:16:48,125
For God's sake.
1576
01:16:49,375 --> 01:16:51,375
[yelling]
1577
01:16:54,041 --> 01:16:55,208
[groans]
1578
01:17:05,375 --> 01:17:06,458
[yells]
1579
01:17:10,583 --> 01:17:12,583
[tense demonic music building]
1580
01:17:29,000 --> 01:17:31,083
It's your ball, Fernandinho!
1581
01:17:34,416 --> 01:17:36,416
- [music fades]
- [heart beating]
1582
01:17:37,500 --> 01:17:40,958
[crowd cheering]
1583
01:17:50,166 --> 01:17:52,041
[shrieking]
1584
01:18:02,791 --> 01:18:05,500
[coughs]
1585
01:18:07,458 --> 01:18:11,083
Ugh! I swallowed a vampire! [spluttering]
1586
01:18:11,166 --> 01:18:14,708
[gags] I swallowed a vampire. Ugh.
1587
01:18:14,791 --> 01:18:16,791
[gagging]
1588
01:18:16,875 --> 01:18:20,375
[spitting] I think
that was part of his ass. Ugh!
1589
01:18:20,458 --> 01:18:22,625
Man, that was your best goal!
1590
01:18:22,708 --> 01:18:25,041
It's for Vasco, Ameba! Yeah!
1591
01:18:25,125 --> 01:18:28,083
Fernandinho, do you know where we are?
1592
01:18:28,166 --> 01:18:30,291
Oh! Homero!
1593
01:18:30,375 --> 01:18:32,791
Are you back to normal? Man.
1594
01:18:33,875 --> 01:18:35,958
[Vanessa] Come on, come on, sweetie.
1595
01:18:36,041 --> 01:18:37,958
Careful. Come here.
1596
01:18:40,125 --> 01:18:42,625
- [both scream]
- [Michele] Anybody out there?
1597
01:18:42,708 --> 01:18:45,041
Get me out of here! [pounding]
1598
01:18:45,125 --> 01:18:47,416
- [Michele] Who locked me in here?
- No, careful, Carol!
1599
01:18:48,375 --> 01:18:49,791
[Carol] Mom, is it you?
1600
01:18:50,500 --> 01:18:51,666
What?
1601
01:18:52,958 --> 01:18:55,041
- Ugh.
- [Monica] Hi.
1602
01:18:55,125 --> 01:18:57,333
- Oh, they did it!
- Yeah, thank God!
1603
01:18:57,416 --> 01:18:59,208
Mom, I'm so happy you're back!
1604
01:18:59,291 --> 01:19:00,416
I'm back from where?
1605
01:19:00,500 --> 01:19:02,125
I'm confused. What am I doing here?
1606
01:19:02,208 --> 01:19:04,375
Yeah, really long story,
but I'll tell you later.
1607
01:19:04,458 --> 01:19:06,750
Here's what we'll do.
I'll stop by your office, okay?
1608
01:19:06,833 --> 01:19:09,375
Go ahead. The exit is over there.
Go ahead.
1609
01:19:09,458 --> 01:19:11,291
- Man... What are you looking at?
- Fernando?
1610
01:19:11,375 --> 01:19:16,125
Hey! No way. Oh, boy. Hey. Oh, God.
1611
01:19:16,208 --> 01:19:17,833
- What is this, Fernando?
- Sorry?
1612
01:19:17,916 --> 01:19:19,625
- What are you doing here?
- What am I...
1613
01:19:19,708 --> 01:19:20,666
I just...
1614
01:19:21,916 --> 01:19:25,000
- Where are we?
- You are... You... eh hey...
1615
01:19:25,083 --> 01:19:27,000
- What are you doing?
- Everything okay with you?
1616
01:19:27,083 --> 01:19:29,291
- Do you see the cross?
- [laughs] I like it.
1617
01:19:29,375 --> 01:19:31,791
[shivers] You're all... Everything normal?
1618
01:19:31,875 --> 01:19:34,250
Are you normal? Did you go back to normal?
1619
01:19:34,333 --> 01:19:37,083
I feel really strange, Fernando.
God, I missed you.
1620
01:19:37,166 --> 01:19:40,375
I missed you a lot. You know
that I really care about you, right?
1621
01:19:40,458 --> 01:19:43,916
- You have a place here in my heart.
- It's him. The same pain in my neck.
1622
01:19:44,000 --> 01:19:46,458
I mean it, Fernando.
You're the brother I never had.
1623
01:19:46,541 --> 01:19:48,125
- That's too much.
- Listen, I got to ask.
1624
01:19:48,208 --> 01:19:50,083
Can I crash at your house?
I kind of messed up.
1625
01:19:50,166 --> 01:19:53,666
See the nightmare he makes my lie?
Dozens of hotels and he stays in my house.
1626
01:19:53,750 --> 01:19:57,375
- Thank God you're okay. I was so worried.
- Oh, my love, I'm okay.
1627
01:19:57,458 --> 01:19:59,291
- Uncle Greg!
- Hey!
1628
01:20:00,000 --> 01:20:02,333
It's so good to have you back, Greg.
1629
01:20:02,416 --> 01:20:04,416
Will someone notice
the vampire slayer here?
1630
01:20:04,500 --> 01:20:07,250
I slew all the vampires!
Let me make that very clear!
1631
01:20:07,333 --> 01:20:09,708
Fernandinho, easy. Calm down.
1632
01:20:09,791 --> 01:20:11,375
- I appreciate it.
- All right, my love.
1633
01:20:11,458 --> 01:20:13,166
Hey, give me a kiss. No, no kisses.
1634
01:20:13,250 --> 01:20:16,166
- Ah! My hero!
- I'm a poodle now.
1635
01:20:16,250 --> 01:20:19,500
It's so great to see you guys.
I don't know why but I missed you so much.
1636
01:20:19,583 --> 01:20:22,166
- There he goes again.
- Family is everything.
1637
01:20:22,250 --> 01:20:23,416
- Come on.
- Hey, Uncle Greg!
1638
01:20:23,500 --> 01:20:24,625
Hey!
1639
01:20:24,708 --> 01:20:27,875
Who did all the tacky remodeling
in my house?
1640
01:20:27,958 --> 01:20:29,750
- You did, Mom.
- [Fernandinho] Exactly.
1641
01:20:29,833 --> 01:20:31,583
Then who broke my window?
1642
01:20:31,666 --> 01:20:36,208
That was me. I was busy saving the world...
I don't have to explain myself.
1643
01:20:36,291 --> 01:20:37,750
You know what I miss the most?
1644
01:20:37,833 --> 01:20:39,333
I really miss it.
1645
01:20:39,833 --> 01:20:42,958
- Family pile!
- Oh, no!
1646
01:20:43,458 --> 01:20:46,166
- We talked about this! No!
- [all laughing]
1647
01:20:46,833 --> 01:20:48,583
[Fernandinho] No!
1648
01:20:49,333 --> 01:20:51,000
God, he tickled me!
1649
01:20:51,083 --> 01:20:53,875
I hate family pile. Not again!
1650
01:20:53,958 --> 01:20:55,666
[all giggling]
1651
01:21:00,541 --> 01:21:02,500
[Fernandinho] We're reaching
the end of the show.
1652
01:21:02,583 --> 01:21:05,333
But before we go, I would love it
if you shared your thoughts
1653
01:21:05,416 --> 01:21:07,166
with the viewers watching us right now,
1654
01:21:07,250 --> 01:21:09,166
who are so anxious
for a message from Zico.
1655
01:21:09,250 --> 01:21:10,083
Please, take it away.
1656
01:21:10,166 --> 01:21:12,250
Fernandinho, it's been a pleasure
to be here.
1657
01:21:12,333 --> 01:21:17,041
I'd like to... uh, take this opportunity
to say something important.
1658
01:21:17,125 --> 01:21:20,791
You were accused of throwing a match
and intentionally missing that goal.
1659
01:21:20,875 --> 01:21:23,875
- And I mean, these things happen.
- Yeah.
1660
01:21:23,958 --> 01:21:28,000
[Zico] Right? I've witnessed your growth.
I know you're a good man.
1661
01:21:28,083 --> 01:21:30,541
People do always say
that you threw that match
1662
01:21:30,625 --> 01:21:33,500
and missed an easy goal, but you didn't.
1663
01:21:33,583 --> 01:21:36,000
I trust you completely. Oh, and also,
1664
01:21:36,083 --> 01:21:39,250
you were never a traitor, or what they say
in the language of football.
1665
01:21:39,333 --> 01:21:40,875
Keep going, man.
1666
01:21:41,625 --> 01:21:44,250
So I just wanted to make my thoughts
about you very clear.
1667
01:21:44,333 --> 01:21:47,000
[stifled sobbing]
1668
01:21:47,083 --> 01:21:48,916
Zico!
1669
01:21:49,000 --> 01:21:53,583
Man, I needed this. I was such a mess.
They say I'm a traitor...
1670
01:21:53,666 --> 01:21:55,291
- It's all right.
- ...a backstabber.
1671
01:21:55,375 --> 01:21:57,083
- I'm not a traitor.
- You're not a traitor.
1672
01:21:57,166 --> 01:21:58,333
I never was!
1673
01:21:58,416 --> 01:22:00,791
[sobbing]
1674
01:22:00,875 --> 01:22:02,125
Stop recording.
1675
01:22:02,666 --> 01:22:05,541
Man, that was an amazing interview.
Zico and me, right?
1676
01:22:05,625 --> 01:22:09,125
- [laughs] You look awful when you cry.
- Yeah, you're a big crybaby.
1677
01:22:09,208 --> 01:22:11,291
That's not necessary,
all right? [mimics Ameba]
1678
01:22:11,375 --> 01:22:12,625
Sorry, Mr. Fernando.
1679
01:22:12,708 --> 01:22:14,125
You're calling me Mr. Fernando now?
1680
01:22:14,208 --> 01:22:15,500
Carol asked me to.
1681
01:22:15,583 --> 01:22:18,416
Ooh! It's hot, it's hot,
it's hot. Careful.
1682
01:22:18,500 --> 01:22:20,375
- Look at what we have.
- Is that meat? Sweetheart!
1683
01:22:20,458 --> 01:22:22,500
Oh yes, I made an exception.
1684
01:22:22,583 --> 01:22:23,625
You deserve it.
1685
01:22:25,375 --> 01:22:27,875
- Get over here.
- No, no need for that.
1686
01:22:27,958 --> 01:22:31,125
Okay, but we could try it at some point.
Maybe in an hour? Yeah? No?
1687
01:22:32,541 --> 01:22:35,500
What a beautiful blouse
that you're wearing!
1688
01:22:35,583 --> 01:22:38,458
Yeah, only because I couldn't find
my Ravengoroki T-shirt.
1689
01:22:38,541 --> 01:22:41,833
No kidding? I wonder where it went.
1690
01:22:41,916 --> 01:22:43,000
[chuckles]
1691
01:22:45,458 --> 01:22:46,541
Welcome to the family.
1692
01:22:46,625 --> 01:22:48,041
- Oh my God, that's cringe.
- Thanks.
1693
01:22:48,125 --> 01:22:50,250
What's the matter? [chuckles]
1694
01:22:50,333 --> 01:22:52,625
- You're doing the dishes, kiddo.
- [doorbell]
1695
01:22:53,541 --> 01:22:55,625
- My love, will you please get the door?
- Hmm?
1696
01:22:55,708 --> 01:22:57,000
Right, yeah, you got it.
1697
01:22:59,833 --> 01:23:01,791
- Hey.
- [Fernandinho] Father-in-law!
1698
01:23:01,875 --> 01:23:03,333
It's been forever.
1699
01:23:03,416 --> 01:23:05,958
Do you think I could stay here
for a few days?
1700
01:23:06,041 --> 01:23:07,416
And Vanessa? How's my girl?
1701
01:23:07,500 --> 01:23:09,500
[quietly] Her family's all homeless.
1702
01:23:09,583 --> 01:23:11,083
[louder] Not bad, thank you.
1703
01:23:11,166 --> 01:23:13,083
[wolves howling]
1704
01:23:13,166 --> 01:23:15,500
- [groans]
- [Fernandinho] Oh, yikes.
1705
01:23:15,583 --> 01:23:18,125
- [sinister crackling]
- That's new.
1706
01:23:18,208 --> 01:23:21,125
[growls]
1707
01:23:21,208 --> 01:23:22,333
[panicked gasp]
1708
01:23:22,416 --> 01:23:25,916
The weather in Rio de Janeiro...
It's just not good for me.
1709
01:23:26,000 --> 01:23:27,041
So cold!
1710
01:23:27,125 --> 01:23:29,250
Come in. Be my guest! Don't be silly.
1711
01:23:29,333 --> 01:23:32,875
- [father-in-law] Excuse me. I'm cold.
- [chuckling]
1712
01:23:32,958 --> 01:23:34,458
- [Vanessa] Dad?
- It's your father.
1713
01:23:34,541 --> 01:23:36,250
[Vanessa] What a nice surprise!
1714
01:23:37,583 --> 01:23:40,000
Oh, awesome.
1715
01:23:40,083 --> 01:23:43,666
["Na Aba" by Bezerra da Silva playing]
1716
01:26:14,666 --> 01:26:16,666
[song fades]
1717
01:26:18,416 --> 01:26:21,625
[funky music playing]
1718
01:27:43,833 --> 01:27:45,333
[funky music fades]
1719
01:27:45,416 --> 01:27:49,125
[spooky music playing]
1720
01:28:29,666 --> 01:28:32,083
[spooky music fades]