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[♪ "One Margarita" by Casa Di,
Steve Terrell & That Chick Angel playing]
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[speaker] If I was single,
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and it's cuffing season,
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I would definitely try
to slide in someone's DM
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or see if-if my friend has a friend.
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Um...
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Yeah, I'm not just gonna be by myself
in cuffing season. [laughs]
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Oh, cuffing season's
hunting season, you know?
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If, uh, you don't have a significant other
already in place,
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you go out hunting every weekend.
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♪ Gimme one margarita, I'ma open my legs ♪
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♪ Gimme two margaritas,
I'ma give you some head ♪
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♪ Gimme three margaritas
I'ma put it in my puss ♪
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♪ Gimme four margaritas
I'ma put it in my tush ♪
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♪ Gimme five margaritas, margaritas... ♪
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Thank you!
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Um... [humming]
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{\an8}Ooh! Let's grab that table over there.
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{\an8}No, no, no, we're gonna stand at the bar
and look sexy and approachable.
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{\an8}If men are gonna reject me,
I'd much rather be seated.
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{\an8}- You know, set expectations.
- Come on!
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{\an8}Plus, this bitch loves to sit!
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{\an8}[Tamika] Great, a dark musty corner.
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{\an8}[Melissa Jackson] Sitting is very highly
underrated.
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{\an8}- [Tamika] If they can see us.
- [Melissa giggles]
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{\an8}Oh! Hey!
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{\an8}Someone is making eyes
at you from the bar.
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{\an8}- Oh, no thank you. No, no, no, no.
- [Tamika and Allie laugh]
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{\an8}Do you even wanna meet someone?
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{\an8}Of course, I do, you know?
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{\an8}Not only do I need to,
like, forget about Rory,
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{\an8}but I need to move on from Alex.
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- Yes, you do.
- Good. So, we know our goal.
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Let us help you get there.
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{\an8}Okay, what you need to know about me
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{\an8}is that because of societal standards,
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{\an8}I'm like... human cilantro.
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{\an8}Seriously! To some guys, I'm like soap,
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{\an8}and the ones that do want me,
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{\an8}they're already up on
somebody else's taco.
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What about that guy that was flirting
with you in class?
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Oh, Carlos!
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{\an8}Yes, yes, yes, yes, the fruit agent.
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{\an8}No! [laughs] I already did the work thing,
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{\an8}and it was a certifiable shit show.
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But I met Lamar at work.
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- Wait, why was he at Sephora?
- [Tamika] Fashion week.
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{\an8}When you're a makeup artist,
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{\an8}you meet fine-ass models on the reg,
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{\an8}like all day,
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{\an8}and, honey, they all check for me.
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I hadn't really thought
about Carlos like that.
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- Well, have you tried him out?
- What do you mean?
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Oh, I audition all my conquests.
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{\an8}I do a dry fantasy run,
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{\an8}and if it becomes a wet fantasy run?
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{\an8}- [gasps]
- [clicks] I make those dreams come true.
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Okay, well, here's
to making dreams come...
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[all laughing]
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[Allie] I'll send
you an app to set the mood.
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Thank me later.
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♪ Gimme, gimme, gimme a beat! ♪
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[Melissa] Okay, Allie,
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let's see what your app can do.
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[crowd applause on app]
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[narrator on app] My play premiere was
a huge success.
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{\an8}I was giddy and tipsy
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{\an8}from so many people congratulating me,
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{\an8}and that last glass of
Prosecco certainly didn't help.
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{\an8}- [vibrator buzzing]
- I sneak backstage to center myself
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{\an8}when I see that sexy actor Herman.
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{\an8}I'd always heard about understudies having
a Star is Born moment.
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{\an8}[Melissa] I should really
see that movie again.
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{\an8}The original, not Gaga's.
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{\an8}[narrator on app] Hey, girl, stop letting
your mind wander.
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{\an8}You're supposed to be thinking
about Carlos. Now, get to work.
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{\an8}I realized we were alone backstage.
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{\an8}He met my gaze and slowly sauntered over.
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I was wondering if, uh,
if you can help me.
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- [♪ soft music playing]
- I got sewed into these pants,
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and it's kind of embarrassing,
but I can't take them off.
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[narrator on app] All I wanted to do
was rip those pants right off,
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but we needed them
for tomorrow's performance.
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{\an8}So, I found a pin
and knelt in front of him
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{\an8}to undo the stitches. I felt flush.
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Was it the Prosecco, or was it him?
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- [whoosh]
- [vibrator continues]
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[annoyed sigh]
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You're supposed to be Carlos.
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[narrator in app] You tell him, girl.
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This is supposed to be
a Carlos fantasy run.
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Now help me, help you, and focus.
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Where was I? Oh, yes.
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The air was electric as I slowly loosened
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each stitch on those pants.
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I was so close to his Jack in the box,
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I could tell he was ready
to pop right out.
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Tonight's performance was over,
but I was up for an encore,
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and he was definitely up, too.
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Careful. That tickles.
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[narrator in app] Wait, why are we letting
him back in?
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I just wanna make you happy.
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[Melissa] Because I know he
can get me there,
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and I'm gonna be late for work. [sighs]
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[vibrator humming]
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[Mel moaning loudly]
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[Josh] Well, there's some naming drama
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with the ghost kitchen.
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Sir Rise-a-Lot is the front runner,
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but Kaya wants my new sourdough starter
to be Li'l Yeasty.
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[weak laugh] That's a good one.
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But like, why's it gotta
be li'l, you know?
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- Yeah.
- [Josh] Oh, shizz.
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- [cart whirring]
- I'm out of Mel's hazelnut creamer.
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Never mind, I will crush up some--
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No, no, actually, uh,
just one coffee for me.
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Let's go, let's go.
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Uh-oh. Trouble in paradise?
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[scoffs] No.
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Wheatney Houston, yes.
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Hi.
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As managers, you are
the first line of defense
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against sexual harassment,
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so it's important to know
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what constitutes harassment.
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Well, that can include
unwanted sexual advances,
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comments about appearance,
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cat calling, sexual innuendo.
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[mutters] Having a vivid dream
about a coworker?
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- [soft laugh]
- [instructor] Pardon me?
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Uh...
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Having a vivid...
dream a-about a coworker,
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does that-- does that count?
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Not if you don't say it out loud.
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- Noted.
- [laughter]
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As managers, you will be
the eyes and ears of JFK.
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{\an8}And when it comes to
romantic relationships in the workplace,
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{\an8}it's okay to ask a person out once.
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But, if they say no,
asking them again would be harassment.
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What if you've been hanging out
with someone, say,
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for a month and some change,
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but you didn't have the DTR convo yet,
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hypothetically?
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I don't know what DTR means.
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"Define the relationship."
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- Best not to shit where you eat.
- [laughter]
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Pardon my French.
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As managers, it's best for you
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{\an8}to just disclose
any workplace relationship
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{\an8}to the head of HR, so there are no issues
if it goes south.
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{\an8}I can tell you that
one in three US workers
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{\an8}have or are currently involved
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{\an8}in a romantic workplace relationship,
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and the majority of those people,
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{\an8}they did not disclose to their employers.
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{\an8}So, my High Flyers,
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{\an8}the moral of this story is...
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{\an8}- disclose, disclose, disclose!
- [clapping]
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You don't have to do it three times.
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Just the once will be fine.
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The other two times, I did for emphasis.
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[♪ upbeat music playing]
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[quiet airport chatter]
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I found your earrings this morning.
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Why are you treating it
like it's evidence? [laughs]
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I coulda got it tonight.
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Does this mean
you'll finally stay at my place?
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No, not with your mama in the next room.
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Boy, she don't care.
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Besides, she told me
to invite you to Thanksgiving.
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She can throw it down.
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You make it hard to say no.
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Let me see if I can work out my schedule.
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- You make the schedule.
- [laughs]
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Oh, um,
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I disclosed our relationship to HR.
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Wait, why?
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You're a manager. You should know that.
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It's part of the sexual
harassment seminar.
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No, yeah, yeah, you right, you right.
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- Yeah.
- You right.
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- [laughs]
- What else did you learn today?
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That telling you about the dream I had,
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where I handcuffed you...
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- Oh.
- ...is definitely
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- sexual harassment.
- [laughs]
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- Ms. Hill, you...
- Mm-hmm?
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...are very, very convincing.
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[♪ sensual music playing]
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Why don't you notify HR
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that I will be coming
to yours for Thanksgiving.
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- Deal.
- Deal.
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Tell your mama, too.
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- Bye.
- Bye.
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[Alex Williams]
You know you're amazing, right?
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{\an8}Oh yeah, I just...
I just want you to be happy.
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[Patti] Frick! [sighs]
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[Melissa] Why are you still here?
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- You're gonna be late for your pickup.
- [Patti] I know.
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I'm supposed to be having lunch with Mike.
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He's my suitor from Lost and Found.
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- [giggles]
- Gross.
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I'll take it if you take my Friday night.
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Really? Nice!
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Nope, we don't do that.
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Oh. [imitates explosion]
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[♪ upbeat music playing]
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Bachelorette in New Orleans.
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- Uh-huh. Mm.
- Okay, well, one piece of advice.
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No matter how drunk you get,
those beads have no value.
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- Keep your ladies covered.
- [laughs]
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It's not that type of bachelorette.
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00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,362
[Melissa] Then what kind of bachelorette
is it?
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We're just a bunch of married ladies,
in matching PJs,
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giving the bride
lessons from the battlefield.
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- Ah. Well, can I come, please?
- Uh-huh.
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Man, I thought I'd have
relationships figured out by now,
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- but I definitely don't.
- [laughs]
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- Boy problems?
- Yeah, it's complicated.
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I thought I was over my ex,
but he is living in my head rent-free.
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- [sighs]
- Mm. Girl, been there.
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[Melissa] Yeah, it's like,
part of me knows
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that I need to make a clean break of it
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and just move on,
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- but it's hard.
- Oh, yeah.
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So hard because we work together
every single day.
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- Clarissa!
- [Clarissa] Julie!
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- Julie!?
- You made it! [laughs]
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Wild horses and six pins in my ankle
couldn't keep me away!
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- Mel, could I talk to you for a second?
- Uh-huh.
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[nervous laugh] This was supposed to
be Patti's pickup.
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[Melissa] And now I know why.
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So...
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me and Julie had a fight last night
about our exes at our wedding.
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00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:04,794
- Mm-hmm.
- Uh, and I had to tell her about us.
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00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:06,546
- Wait, she doesn't know about us?
- No, it's not that.
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It'd just be great if you could,
like, not be here right now.
238
00:09:08,756 --> 00:09:10,675
Yeah, lucky for you,
I don't wanna be here.
239
00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:11,759
Mel!
240
00:09:12,843 --> 00:09:14,387
I've heard so much about you.
It's nice to finally meet.
241
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,013
Right! It's just...
242
00:09:16,013 --> 00:09:18,599
[overlapping awkward chatter]
243
00:09:18,599 --> 00:09:20,226
Uh, Clarissa,
244
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:22,645
this is Mel.
245
00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:24,897
Wait. You're Mel?
246
00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:30,069
You know what? Uh--
I have to pick up a foreign dignitary,
247
00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:31,821
so I'ma get on that and get you seated
248
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:35,324
so you guys can get the show on the road,
am I right? [laughs]
249
00:09:35,324 --> 00:09:37,201
Mm, how does this work? [gibberish]
250
00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:38,995
[announcement over PA]
Attention, passengers.
251
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:40,663
The terminal is now on lockdown.
252
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,456
All flights are grounded,
253
00:09:42,456 --> 00:09:45,084
and you cannot leave the terminal
until further notice.
254
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:48,421
We appreciate your patience
as we work to resolve this situation.
255
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,298
- Thank you.
- Shit.
256
00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:51,674
So, we're stuck here?
257
00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:54,218
- [♪ downbeat music playing]
- [Alex] Mm-hmm.
258
00:09:54,218 --> 00:09:56,887
Yeah. Yeah, we are.
259
00:09:57,847 --> 00:09:58,931
[clatters]
260
00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:04,687
[passenger] Serena! Serena!
261
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,439
All this is unnecessary.
262
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:07,815
Serena's a wanderer, always has been.
263
00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:09,066
She'll wander back soon.
264
00:10:09,066 --> 00:10:10,776
I'm sorry, but since
you already checked her in
265
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:12,028
as an unaccompanied minor,
266
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:14,697
she's the airline's responsibility
until she's found.
267
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:18,200
- [passenger] Serena!
- Now we know why we're on lockdown.
268
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,202
Well, there goes the swamp tour.
269
00:10:20,202 --> 00:10:23,039
You know what? I should get to
the security office ASAP.
270
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:25,041
- I'll drive you.
- Oh! Okay, great.
271
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:27,793
- No. No, no!
- [Alex] Is everything okay?
272
00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:30,546
I checked in the luggage that had
all the scavenger hunt lists inside,
273
00:10:30,546 --> 00:10:31,839
so I only have this one copy.
274
00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:33,466
[cutesy] Aw, man. Mm.
275
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:36,260
I figured we could do it while we wait,
but [sighs] now what?
276
00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:39,847
Y-You know what, Yummy?
277
00:10:39,847 --> 00:10:41,140
That is actually solvable.
278
00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:42,892
We'll just go to my office
and make some copies.
279
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:44,894
No, no, you need to do your job,
so we can get outta here.
280
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:46,312
But, maybe Mel could take me.
281
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:47,605
- Oh, no.
- Oh no, she's busy.
282
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:49,899
- Super busy. Just woo!
- It'd be really quick. [laughs]
283
00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:51,192
Thanks so much!
284
00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:52,777
[♪ "I've Got Your Man"
by Lady Saw playing]
285
00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:55,154
[nervous laugh] Alright, bye.
286
00:10:55,863 --> 00:10:57,365
[nervous laugh]
287
00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:58,908
Oh, Lord have mercy.
288
00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:02,536
♪ I've got yo man,
and you can't do anything ♪
289
00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:04,872
[Melissa] So, what's on
this scavenger hunt list?
290
00:11:05,539 --> 00:11:07,875
Change shirts with a stranger,
get frisked by a cop,
291
00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:09,710
sign a guy's butt.
292
00:11:09,710 --> 00:11:12,880
I mean, I don't see how Alex
could find these "inappropriate."
293
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,799
Well, he's just probably being protective.
294
00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:16,926
- Yeah, that's what he said.
- Mm.
295
00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:19,303
But lucky for him,
I like to keep things spicy.
296
00:11:19,303 --> 00:11:21,138
- I bet you do.
- [giggles]
297
00:11:21,889 --> 00:11:25,017
So, Clarissa tells me you're hung up
on some guy at work.
298
00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:27,186
- It's not Alex, is it? [giggles]
- Oh! No, no, no, no.
299
00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:29,355
It's Carlton... Herman.
300
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:30,690
He's a merman-- model-- mo--
301
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,191
- He models swimwear. [laughs]
- Oh, okay.
302
00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:34,318
Uh, when he's not
doing business, my business,
303
00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:36,237
- he's all up in my business. [laughs]
- Oh! [laughs]
304
00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:38,656
Um, but yeah. Herman is my nickname
305
00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:40,491
for him with my friends, so...
306
00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:42,284
My nickname for Alex is Energizer Bunny.
307
00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:45,079
- Oh. Ah. Ooh!
- He could keep going and going...
308
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:47,581
- Did you have a nickname for Alex?
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
309
00:11:47,581 --> 00:11:50,084
I don't give boyfriends nicknames.
310
00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:51,669
It's just plain old Alex.
311
00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:54,505
Alright, here we go. [imitates fanfare]
312
00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:56,424
[laughs] Let's get you some
copies, alright?
313
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:59,176
♪ And you can't do anything about it ♪
314
00:11:59,176 --> 00:12:00,720
[Julie] Wait, boyfriend?
315
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,389
I thought it was a little three months,
friends with benefits thing.
316
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:04,598
Nope. [laughs] It was exactly that.
317
00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:05,725
Not a big deal.
318
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,643
[laughs] Yeah, right. Of course not.
319
00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:09,019
[♪ tense music playing]
320
00:12:09,019 --> 00:12:10,563
Oh, God, no, it's just Alex told me
321
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,565
that you were very clear
you didn't want anything more.
322
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,650
No, I didn't, and I don't.
323
00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:16,277
Right.
324
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:18,446
Look, we're so glad that
you're coming to our wedding.
325
00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:20,281
Alex told me that you're afraid to fly.
326
00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:21,907
Yep. [awkward laugh]
327
00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:24,160
You're such a good friend for doing that.
328
00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:27,538
[DeShawn] I hope this lockdown
lasts all day too.
329
00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:28,831
Shit, I'm tryna take all y'all money.
330
00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:30,249
Oh, yeah, that's my book.
331
00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:32,752
[Kaya] What's this about
Tina and Thanksgiving?
332
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,879
- Please tell me you didn't say yes.
- It's just dinner!
333
00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:37,423
Aw, y'all cute or whatever.
334
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:39,925
It's not just dinner, T,
it's Thanksgiving dinner.
335
00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:42,136
That's why they named it!
Look, bro, next you know,
336
00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:44,472
she gonna be at your house,
every night, bonnet on.
337
00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:47,558
Facts. Probably canceling her cable
and utilities right now.
338
00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:49,143
[Kaya] Don't pay them no mind.
339
00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:50,311
It's not even that serious.
340
00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:51,854
We literally just started dating.
341
00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:53,564
Oh, "Just started dating."
Like a year ago!
342
00:12:53,564 --> 00:12:55,191
[Kaya] Okay, okay, let's settle this.
343
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:58,569
Has she left any random shit at your spot?
344
00:12:58,569 --> 00:13:01,447
Uh, a pair of earrings,
but it was an accident.
345
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,866
[sighs] Okay, if it was one earring,
it would be an accident.
346
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:06,660
A pair of earrings,
she's saying, "Oh, we go together now."
347
00:13:06,660 --> 00:13:08,579
Exactly. Bro, what'd I tell you?
348
00:13:08,579 --> 00:13:10,831
These girls are smart! Three stacks.
349
00:13:10,831 --> 00:13:12,333
Wh-What about your earrings?
350
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:14,794
Do you leave them at home,
or you got a place to leave 'em?
351
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:17,129
- What are you doing right now?
- I'm trying to hit on her.
352
00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:21,008
- [DeShawn] Bro, why would you say that?
- Okay, look, anyway!
353
00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:22,802
If you aren't serious about Tina,
354
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:25,095
you need to break up with her
before the holidays.
355
00:13:25,095 --> 00:13:28,015
Look, do I like her?
Yeah. Of course. She's great.
356
00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:30,476
But is she the one? I don't know.
357
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:33,103
- I mean, how does anyone know?
- [overlapping hums]
358
00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:34,772
You know, bro, honestly, for me,
359
00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:38,108
it's when the imperfections
stop being the deal breaker.
360
00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:39,485
That's when you know,
you know what I'm saying?
361
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:42,822
Like, I knew Didi was the one
when I would share everything with her.
362
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:45,199
- Aw.
- Everything? Even your food?
363
00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:46,784
Oh, especially my food, bro. For real.
364
00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:48,285
I'm not sharing my food with nobody.
365
00:13:48,285 --> 00:13:50,204
I will never be that in love, straight up.
366
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,622
[DeShawn] [laughs] Famous last words.
367
00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:53,457
- [Kaya] You're gonna be alone forever.
- [DeShawn] Done.
368
00:13:53,457 --> 00:13:55,876
[announcement over PA] We thank you
for your continued patience
369
00:13:55,876 --> 00:13:57,253
during this lockdown.
370
00:13:57,795 --> 00:13:58,963
[Julie] Oh, no way.
371
00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:02,800
Are you looking for anything
in particular? Can I help?
372
00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:04,844
[Julie] When I started dating Alex,
373
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,221
he would take me to this
Thai restaurant all the time.
374
00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:09,932
He thought he was being all fancy
ordering off the menu.
375
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:11,851
"We'll take the good shrimp,
not the frozen shrimp.
376
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,687
- And tell Gus to make it extra spicy."
- [mouthing along]
377
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,188
Um...
378
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:19,525
That's a good order.
I, um, I used to work there.
379
00:14:22,903 --> 00:14:24,154
[sighs] You know, you...
380
00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:27,867
you have such a pretty face.
381
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:31,078
There has to be someone that can help you
move on from Mr. Merman.
382
00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:34,957
Yeah, there's this guy
in my management class,
383
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:37,501
but, you know, he entered the chat,
but I don't know.
384
00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:39,545
Okay, fun fact.
385
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,882
I wasn't so sure of Alex
when we first met.
386
00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:45,467
But then, he surprised me
387
00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:48,596
by making me fall
in love with him. [weak laugh]
388
00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:55,936
I probably shouldn't tell you this, but...
389
00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:58,981
Alex is looking at jobs
at Hartsfield-Jackson.
390
00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:01,650
[laughs] Cool.
391
00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:04,194
I could put in a good word
with him if you like.
392
00:15:04,194 --> 00:15:06,196
- [rattling]
- Yeah, that would-- Oh! Look, okay!
393
00:15:07,114 --> 00:15:09,199
- It's always the toner. [laughs]
- Of course.
394
00:15:09,199 --> 00:15:11,452
Um, it's always the last place you look.
We should,
395
00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:13,913
- you know, probably test it out.
- Yeah, let's test it out.
396
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,040
Just so he won't forget.
397
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,250
- [copying]
- Of course you have perfect titties.
398
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:21,754
- [Julie giggles]
- [♪ jazz music playing]
399
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:24,173
- [sighs]
- [laughs] Oh, my God.
400
00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:26,300
{\an8}- [fake laugh, indistinct]
- What!?
401
00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:28,969
{\an8}- He's gonna love this. [laughs]
- [typing]
402
00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:33,182
{\an8}[text whirs]
403
00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:36,477
{\an8}[sends text]
404
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:40,648
- [♪ jazz continues]
- [vents whirring]
405
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:47,655
[♪ jazz trumpet solo]
406
00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:03,003
[♪ music tempo increases]
407
00:16:05,714 --> 00:16:07,675
[♪ music softens]
408
00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:11,470
I've been waiting for you.
409
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:13,639
♪
410
00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:20,396
[Melissa] It's crazy how much
random food is in here,
411
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:22,564
and it doesn't smell like a compost pile.
412
00:16:22,564 --> 00:16:24,483
You'd be surprised what
palo santo can do, you know?
413
00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:25,901
[Melissa] Mm. That's true, powerful stuff.
414
00:16:26,443 --> 00:16:28,237
- Okay, be honest.
- Mm-hmm.
415
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:30,197
How much of this shit
do you end of stealing?
416
00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:31,657
Honestly...
417
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,575
- most of it.
- [laughs]
418
00:16:33,575 --> 00:16:35,285
Listen, it's not like people can come back
419
00:16:35,285 --> 00:16:36,912
looking for it or whatever. They...
420
00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:39,289
go off to whatever country they're from,
421
00:16:39,289 --> 00:16:40,791
leave all this stuff to go bad.
422
00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,543
- Better to not waste it.
- Ah.
423
00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:44,712
You are doing a good service, sir.
424
00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:47,381
- Thank you. [laughs]
- [laughs]
425
00:16:48,048 --> 00:16:49,717
I'm actually surprised you came.
426
00:16:50,634 --> 00:16:51,760
Well, I'm...
427
00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:54,304
full of surprises.
428
00:16:57,307 --> 00:16:59,393
- L-Let me give you a tour.
- Yeah, yeah. [laughs]
429
00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:02,771
- [♪ sensual music playing]
- He tastes like salami.
430
00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:05,065
- I'm sensing a theme.
- ♪ Baby baby ♪
431
00:17:05,065 --> 00:17:07,276
I can do this, just like I practiced.
432
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:12,197
Thank God I shaved this morning.
433
00:17:13,907 --> 00:17:15,451
Is he doing the alphabet?
434
00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:16,869
[heavy breathing]
435
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:19,496
Nope, just the letter I, italicized.
436
00:17:20,664 --> 00:17:23,208
Aw, he's so proud of himself.
437
00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:25,002
Good for you.
438
00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:26,879
- Is that a condom or chocolate?
- [laughs]
439
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:27,963
Either way, yes.
440
00:17:27,963 --> 00:17:30,215
- [Carlos grunts]
- [Melissa] Ooh! [gasps]
441
00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:32,134
[grunting]
442
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:33,677
Not a chocolate.
443
00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:38,515
Ooh! It's chocolate week on
British Bake Off.
444
00:17:38,515 --> 00:17:41,143
- [grunting]
- Girl, focus up before it's over.
445
00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:42,644
[gasps]
446
00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:45,147
And it's over. Okay.
447
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:47,024
[♪ music stops]
448
00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:48,108
Whoo!
449
00:17:48,108 --> 00:17:49,568
[laughs]
450
00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:52,321
- That was fun, right?
- [Melissa] I miss Alex.
451
00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:54,907
- [sighs]
- Yeah, it was. Totally.
452
00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:57,326
Uh, where'd you get
that scar on your chest?
453
00:17:57,951 --> 00:17:59,870
Oh. We went camping upstate last summer,
454
00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:02,331
and I-I tried this
Bear Grylls hack, and I was--
455
00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:04,792
We? What do you mean by we?
456
00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:07,711
You don't care that I got a missus, right?
457
00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:09,588
[belt rattling]
458
00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:13,675
- You're married. [snickers] Of course.
- Uh-huh.
459
00:18:13,675 --> 00:18:15,636
Mel, what's the big deal?
N-No one has to know.
460
00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:17,721
I do! I know!
461
00:18:17,721 --> 00:18:19,431
Why would you cheat on your wife?
462
00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:21,350
I don't wanna talk about
my marriage right now.
463
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:24,728
Okay, yeah, and I wanted to cum,
and that didn't happen for me,
464
00:18:24,728 --> 00:18:26,980
so I guess this didn't work out
for either of us.
465
00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:28,357
- [Carlos] Wow.
- [Melissa] Okay--
466
00:18:29,149 --> 00:18:31,151
You know what? Just one thing. Why me?
467
00:18:31,151 --> 00:18:33,070
Why not? You're beautiful--
468
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:34,780
Ew! Ew. Ew.
469
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,490
We're two adults,
470
00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:38,534
killing time during a lockdown.
471
00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:42,496
I-I seriously don't understand
why you're getting so upset.
472
00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:44,998
Because I shat where I ate!
473
00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:51,630
[hushed] Pull it together,
pull it together.
474
00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:54,007
[phone dings]
475
00:18:58,178 --> 00:19:00,180
- [sniffles]
- [clattering]
476
00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:01,265
[sniffles]
477
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:14,987
- What are you doing back here?
- Nothing.
478
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,156
Nothing is my favorite thing to do.
479
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,615
Can I sit there?
480
00:19:18,615 --> 00:19:21,034
I am very much in the mood
481
00:19:21,034 --> 00:19:23,620
to do absolutely nothing.
482
00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:27,708
Well, a lot of people are
looking for you right now.
483
00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:30,586
Why are you hiding?
484
00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:35,257
Because my mom says I have to go
to North Carolina to see my dad.
485
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:37,092
That sounds fun.
486
00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:38,927
I've never been to North Carolina.
487
00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:40,721
What if I don't like it?
488
00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:43,557
Mm... Well,
489
00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:45,559
depending on which part, you might not.
490
00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:48,770
But, you know, doing something new
491
00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:51,523
is scary for everybody, not just you.
492
00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:54,693
Let me tell you a story about
taking chances.
493
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:57,446
It's about Bessie... something.
494
00:19:57,446 --> 00:20:00,616
She was the first Black female pilot
495
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:02,034
to fly in the US.
496
00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:04,786
Or France.
497
00:20:05,662 --> 00:20:07,414
There was something about France.
498
00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:10,959
I wish I'd read the blurb,
but I got the gist. Anyway,
499
00:20:10,959 --> 00:20:12,628
imagine how she felt
500
00:20:12,628 --> 00:20:15,005
doing something new for the first time,
501
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:19,551
not knowing how they'd treat her
or if she'd make friends.
502
00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:21,511
- And-- [grunts] Duck!
- [door banging]
503
00:20:21,511 --> 00:20:23,805
[♪ upbeat music playing]
504
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:28,101
[sighs]
505
00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:30,729
Who was that man?
506
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,858
Nobody. Absolutely nobody.
507
00:20:37,527 --> 00:20:38,987
You know what?
508
00:20:38,987 --> 00:20:40,989
Do you wanna see the display?
509
00:20:40,989 --> 00:20:43,033
And you'll have something fun
to tell your dad.
510
00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:44,326
- Deal?
- Okay.
511
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:46,703
Alright. Let's get outta here.
512
00:20:46,703 --> 00:20:49,289
♪
513
00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:52,084
Oh, no!
514
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,503
I forgot how to honk the horn!
515
00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:56,296
- Oh, I can do it.
- Okay.
516
00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:58,882
- [honks horn]
- [over PA] Ladies and gentlemen,
517
00:20:58,882 --> 00:21:01,051
the lockdown has been lifted.
518
00:21:01,051 --> 00:21:03,845
Thank you for your patience
as we work to get you to your destination.
519
00:21:03,845 --> 00:21:05,097
Where were you?
520
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:06,682
You should've checked in.
I could've helped.
521
00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:08,308
Well, at least now
you know I can handle things
522
00:21:08,308 --> 00:21:09,518
when you're not around.
523
00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:11,937
Have fun in Atlanta.
524
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:15,941
♪
525
00:21:19,611 --> 00:21:21,738
Those jackals picked
every bone clean up there.
526
00:21:21,738 --> 00:21:24,533
First rule of lockdown,
take what's yours, and fast.
527
00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:26,827
Okay. Good to know
you got survival skills.
528
00:21:26,827 --> 00:21:28,495
- [giggles] Ah!
- Ah-ah! Whoa.
529
00:21:29,454 --> 00:21:32,541
- Talk about biting the hand the feeds you!
- Sorry, it's not you, I promise.
530
00:21:32,541 --> 00:21:34,042
- Wow.
- I grew up with five brothers,
531
00:21:34,042 --> 00:21:35,752
and my survival skill is not sharing food.
532
00:21:35,752 --> 00:21:37,796
Well, there'll be plenty enough
to go around on Thanksgiving.
533
00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:39,172
No need to bare your fangs, babe.
534
00:21:39,172 --> 00:21:40,507
I will be on my best behavior.
535
00:21:40,507 --> 00:21:42,384
- I'll even bake a pie.
- [laughs]
536
00:21:42,384 --> 00:21:45,429
[phone alert]
537
00:21:45,429 --> 00:21:46,722
Well, my break is done.
538
00:21:47,514 --> 00:21:48,890
- I'll see you tonight.
- Mm-hmm.
539
00:21:49,975 --> 00:21:52,311
- Oh, and you owe me a foot rub.
- Yes, ma'am.
540
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:56,273
[planes idling]
541
00:21:57,107 --> 00:21:58,650
Well, well, well.
542
00:21:58,650 --> 00:22:00,986
Melissa Action Jackson.
543
00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:02,696
How's it feel to be a hero?
544
00:22:03,363 --> 00:22:06,033
- [crunching]
- I don't really feel much like a hero.
545
00:22:06,033 --> 00:22:07,284
What's up?
546
00:22:08,368 --> 00:22:09,870
I'm really trying to change, Terrance,
547
00:22:10,662 --> 00:22:13,790
but I keep hitting wall
after wall after wall,
548
00:22:13,790 --> 00:22:15,917
and it's like I'm stuck.
549
00:22:17,085 --> 00:22:19,046
And I don't wanna give up, but-- [scoffs]
550
00:22:20,255 --> 00:22:21,423
shit hurts.
551
00:22:22,507 --> 00:22:24,593
You sound like my Roomba.
552
00:22:24,593 --> 00:22:26,595
- Come again?
- Hear me out.
553
00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:27,929
When I first got it, I was like,
554
00:22:27,929 --> 00:22:30,140
"Yo, this robot is about
to change my life."
555
00:22:30,140 --> 00:22:32,601
- I'm about to change the channel.
- Stay with me, Jackson.
556
00:22:32,601 --> 00:22:34,227
So, for the first couple of days,
557
00:22:34,227 --> 00:22:36,021
all the Roomba did was hit walls.
558
00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:38,231
- Mm.
- I thought the shit was broke.
559
00:22:38,231 --> 00:22:39,941
I was ready to send it back.
560
00:22:39,941 --> 00:22:42,527
Then I woke up one day,
and the shit was working.
561
00:22:43,111 --> 00:22:45,822
Turns out, the walls were information.
562
00:22:45,822 --> 00:22:48,367
Every wall was teaching it where to go
563
00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:49,701
and where not to.
564
00:22:49,701 --> 00:22:51,661
[crunching]
565
00:22:52,704 --> 00:22:54,164
- Okay, Yoda.
- [laughs]
566
00:22:55,332 --> 00:22:57,584
Alright. I'm a Roomba.
567
00:22:57,584 --> 00:23:00,462
- Come on.
- Yay. [laughs]
568
00:23:01,421 --> 00:23:03,173
- [radio clicks]
- [Patti] [on radio] Patti for Mel.
569
00:23:03,173 --> 00:23:04,966
Pickup at B35.
570
00:23:05,717 --> 00:23:07,928
[sighs] Roger that, on my way.
571
00:23:08,762 --> 00:23:10,305
I don't know why she's such a bitch.
572
00:23:10,305 --> 00:23:12,808
[Patti] [on radio]
Uh, you're still pressing the talk button.
573
00:23:12,808 --> 00:23:14,976
- I know.
- [laughs]
574
00:23:15,685 --> 00:23:16,728
I gotta go.
575
00:23:17,521 --> 00:23:18,522
Oof!
576
00:23:18,522 --> 00:23:19,731
When you gonna give that up?
577
00:23:20,273 --> 00:23:23,235
Okay, one wall at a time.
578
00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:24,611
[laughs] That's fair.
579
00:23:24,611 --> 00:23:27,656
Plus, if I quit, you'll figure out
that the only reason why I come down here
580
00:23:27,656 --> 00:23:28,865
is for your little metaphors.
581
00:23:28,865 --> 00:23:30,826
- I got a million of 'em.
- Ooh.
582
00:23:30,826 --> 00:23:32,869
- [♪ upbeat music playing]
- And your chips.
583
00:23:33,912 --> 00:23:35,622
And crumbs.
584
00:23:36,790 --> 00:23:38,083
Mm, good.
585
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,843
- [♪ "Five Seconds" by Twin Shadow playing]
- [train rumbling]
586
00:23:51,638 --> 00:23:52,722
No, I'm serious!
587
00:23:52,722 --> 00:23:55,350
We've all have thought about
having sex at work, right?
588
00:23:55,350 --> 00:23:57,394
- [Allie] Mm-hmm.
- I just didn't think I would do it
589
00:23:57,394 --> 00:23:59,563
- on top of or near charcuterie.
- Ew.
590
00:23:59,563 --> 00:24:02,399
- The sausage goes inside, not under.
- Thank you!
591
00:24:02,941 --> 00:24:05,152
As God is my witness, I am never, ever
592
00:24:05,152 --> 00:24:06,528
dating anyone at work again.
593
00:24:06,528 --> 00:24:08,613
Well, your boyfriend,
Jackie D's gon' fix it.
594
00:24:08,613 --> 00:24:11,032
- Mm, he been helping me fix it all day.
- [Allie/Tamika] Mm-hmm.
595
00:24:11,032 --> 00:24:12,117
- [glasses clink]
- Thank you.
596
00:24:12,117 --> 00:24:14,411
Alright, let's ruin this fruit man's life!
597
00:24:14,411 --> 00:24:17,873
I got his Facebook, LinkedIn,
and Venmo up. Let's do this.
598
00:24:17,873 --> 00:24:20,375
- No! [laughs]
- Okay. Calm down! [laughs]
599
00:24:20,375 --> 00:24:22,377
- I'm so ready.
- I know, I appreciate you,
600
00:24:22,377 --> 00:24:24,421
but karmically, I ain't got no more
cards to play.
601
00:24:24,421 --> 00:24:26,339
So, if you wanna help me,
602
00:24:26,339 --> 00:24:29,342
- you can update my HiveMind profile.
- Dassit?!
603
00:24:29,342 --> 00:24:32,846
- Yes!
- Look, I hit a wall today, but...
604
00:24:33,847 --> 00:24:35,098
I'ma keep going.
605
00:24:35,098 --> 00:24:37,559
- I'm proud of you. [laughs]
- Aw, thank you. [laughs]
606
00:24:37,559 --> 00:24:40,145
Uh, you have no full-body pics on this.
607
00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:41,730
Um, that's because they already know
what's on the outside of that.
608
00:24:41,730 --> 00:24:43,356
[grunts]
609
00:24:43,356 --> 00:24:44,441
Alright, hold on,
610
00:24:44,441 --> 00:24:45,942
I think I have something that will work.
611
00:24:45,942 --> 00:24:47,903
Okay, have you had sex at the bar?
612
00:24:49,154 --> 00:24:52,365
Okay, that was a long pause! [laughs]
613
00:24:52,365 --> 00:24:55,160
I got it. My finest work. Mel,
614
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:56,786
meet Mel 2.0.
615
00:24:57,579 --> 00:24:59,456
[weak laugh]
616
00:24:59,456 --> 00:25:01,082
Wow.
617
00:25:01,082 --> 00:25:03,293
- [laughs]
- Okay, legs. I'm stealing that top.
618
00:25:04,044 --> 00:25:06,963
Wow. Alright, let's put
this picture to work y'all.
619
00:25:06,963 --> 00:25:08,673
[laughter]
620
00:25:08,673 --> 00:25:10,258
[sharp exhale]
621
00:25:10,258 --> 00:25:11,927
- Here we go.
- [Tamika] Nope.
622
00:25:12,636 --> 00:25:14,221
- [Allie] He's cute.
- [Melissa] He's 24!
623
00:25:14,221 --> 00:25:16,181
- Not with the teeny-weeny beanie.
- [Tamika] What? Ew!
624
00:25:16,181 --> 00:25:18,600
Get away from the life coaches.
That's just drug dealers.
625
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:20,810
Okay, if he has that
many scarves, he don't need me.
626
00:25:20,810 --> 00:25:22,437
- No, no, no, that's a life coach.
- Okay. No,
627
00:25:22,437 --> 00:25:23,980
the fish, if he was cooking it.
628
00:25:23,980 --> 00:25:25,732
- [Allie] Oh. He's got soulful eyes.
- [Tamika] He's cute. Mm.
629
00:25:25,732 --> 00:25:26,942
[scoffs]
630
00:25:27,692 --> 00:25:30,153
♪ There's no way to forget it all ♪
631
00:25:30,153 --> 00:25:31,488
[chuckles] It's my brother.
632
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:34,824
- [hoarse laugh]
- [Tamika] Why is that so funny?
633
00:25:35,867 --> 00:25:37,118
He's married.
634
00:25:37,118 --> 00:25:40,413
♪ I'm not trying to make you cry ♪
635
00:25:40,413 --> 00:25:43,500
♪
636
00:25:51,049 --> 00:25:53,677
♪ I don't believe it ♪
637
00:25:53,677 --> 00:25:56,721
♪ You don't believe in me ♪
638
00:25:56,721 --> 00:26:00,809
♪ So, how could you make me cry? ♪
639
00:26:02,686 --> 00:26:05,188
♪ There's no way to forget it all ♪
640
00:26:05,188 --> 00:26:06,856
♪ I don't know why ♪
641
00:26:07,691 --> 00:26:11,486
♪ But I'm not trying to make you cry ♪
642
00:26:13,196 --> 00:26:14,990
♪ Five seconds in your heart ♪
643
00:26:15,949 --> 00:26:17,826
♪ Straight to the heart ♪
644
00:26:18,451 --> 00:26:20,537
♪ I can't get to your heart ♪
645
00:26:23,623 --> 00:26:24,624
[♪ song ends]
646
00:26:34,634 --> 00:26:37,470
[♪ fanfare playing]