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[ambient street noise]
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[♪ "One Margarita" by Casa Di,
Steve Terrell & That Chick Angel playing]
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[speaker]
If I was single, and it's cuffing season,
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00:00:06,967 --> 00:00:09,594
I would definitely try
to slide in someone's DM
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or see if-if my friend has a friend.
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Um...
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Yeah, I'm not just gonna be by myself
in cuffing season. [laughs]
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Oh, cuffing season's hunting season,
you know?
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If, uh, you don't have
a significant other already in place,
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you go out hunting every weekend.
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♪ Gimme one margarita,
I'ma open my legs ♪
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♪ Gimme two margaritas,
I'ma give you some head ♪
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♪ Gimme three margaritas
I'ma put it in my puss ♪
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♪ Gimme four margaritas
I'ma put it in my tush ♪
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♪ Gimme five margaritas,
margaritas... ♪
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Thank you!
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Um... [humming]
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Ooh! Let's grab that table over there.
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No, no, no, we're gonna stand at the bar
and look sexy and approachable.
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If men are gonna reject me,
I'd much rather be seated.
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- You know, set expectations.
- Come on!
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Plus, this bitch loves to sit!
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[Tamika]
Great, a dark musty corner.
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[Melissa Jackson]
Sitting is very highly underrated.
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- [Tamika] If they can see us.
- [Melissa giggles]
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Oh! Hey!
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Someone is making eyes
at you from the bar.
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- Oh, no thank you. No, no, no, no.
- [Tamika and Allie laugh]
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Do you even wanna meet someone?
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Of course, I do, you know?
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Not only do I need to,
like, forget about Rory,
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but I need to move on from Alex.
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- Yes, you do.
- Good. So, we know our goal.
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Let us help you get there.
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Okay, what you need to know about me
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is that because of societal standards,
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I'm like... human cilantro.
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Seriously!
To some guys, I'm like soap,
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and the ones that do want me,
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they're already up on
somebody else's taco.
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What about that guy that was flirting
with you in class?
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Oh, Carlos!
Yes, yes, yes, yes, the fruit agent.
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No! [laughs]
I already did the work thing,
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and it was a certifiable shit show.
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But I met Lamar at work.
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- Wait, why was he at Sephora?
- [Tamika] Fashion week.
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When you're a makeup artist,
you meet fine-ass models on the reg,
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like all day,
and, honey, they all check for me.
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I hadn't really thought
about Carlos like that.
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- Well, have you tried him out?
- What do you mean?
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Oh, I audition all my conquests.
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I do a dry fantasy run,
and if it becomes a wet fantasy run?
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- [gasps]
- [clicks] I make those dreams come true.
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Okay, well, here's
to making dreams come...
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[all laughing]
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[Allie] I'll send you an app to set
the mood. Thank me later.
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♪ Gimme, gimme, gimme a beat! ♪
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[Melissa] Okay, Allie,
let's see what your app can do.
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[crowd applause on app]
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[narrator on app]
My play premiere was a huge success.
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I was giddy and tipsy from
so many people congratulating me,
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and that last glass of
Prosecco certainly didn't help.
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- [vibrator buzzing]
- I sneak backstage to center myself
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when I see that sexy actor Herman.
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I'd always heard about understudies having
a Star is Born moment.
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[Melissa]
I should really see that movie again.
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The original, not Gaga's.
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[narrator on app]
Hey, girl, stop letting your mind wander.
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You're supposed to be thinking
about Carlos. Now, get to work.
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I realized we were alone backstage.
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He met my gaze
and slowly sauntered over.
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I was wondering if, uh,
if you can help me.
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- [♪ soft music playing]
- I got sewed into these pants,
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and it's kind of embarrassing,
but I can't take them off.
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[narrator on app] All I wanted to do
was rip those pants right off,
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but we needed them
for tomorrow's performance.
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So, I found a pin
and knelt in front of him
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to undo the stitches. I felt flush.
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Was it the Prosecco, or was it him?
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- [whoosh]
- [vibrator continues]
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[annoyed sigh]
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You're supposed to be Carlos.
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[narrator in app]
You tell him, girl.
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This is supposed to be
a Carlos fantasy run.
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Now help me, help you, and focus.
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Where was I?
Oh, yes.
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The air was electric
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as I slowly loosened
each stitch on those pants.
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I was so close to his Jack in the box,
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I could tell he was ready
to pop right out.
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Tonight's performance was over,
but I was up for an encore,
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and he was definitely up, too.
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Careful. That tickles.
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[narrator in app]
Wait, why are we letting him back in?
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I just wanna make you happy.
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[Melissa]
Because I know he can get me there,
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and I'm gonna be late for work.
[sighs]
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[vibrator humming]
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[Mel moaning loudly]
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[Josh] Well, there's some naming drama
with the ghost kitchen.
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Sir Rise-a-Lot is the front runner,
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but Kaya wants my new sourdough starter
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to be Li'l Yeasty.
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[weak laugh] That's a good one.
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But like,
why's it gotta be li'l, you know?
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- Yeah.
- [Josh] Oh, shizz.
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- [cart whirring]
- I'm out of Mel's hazelnut creamer.
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Never mind, I will crush up some--
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No, no, actually, uh,
just one coffee for me.
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Let's go, let's go.
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Uh-oh. Trouble in paradise?
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[scoffs] No.
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Wheatney Houston, yes.
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Hi.
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As managers, you are the first line
of defense against sexual harassment,
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so it's important to know
what constitutes harassment.
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Well, that can include
unwanted sexual advances,
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comments about appearance,
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catcalling, sexual innuendo.
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[mutters]
Having a vivid dream about a coworker?
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- [soft laugh]
- [instructor] Pardon me?
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Uh...
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Having a vivid... dream
a-about a coworker,
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does that-- does that count?
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Not if you don't say it out loud.
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- Noted.
- [laughter]
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As managers, you will be
the eyes and ears of JFK.
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And when it comes to romantic
relationships in the workplace,
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it's okay to ask a person out once.
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But, if they say no,
asking them again would be harassment.
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What if you've been hanging out with
someone, say, for a month and some change,
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but you didn't have the DTR convo yet, hypothetically?
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I don't know what DTR means.
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"Define the relationship."
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- Best not to shit where you eat.
- [laughter]
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Pardon my French.
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As managers, it's best for you
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to just disclose
any workplace relationship
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to the head of HR, so there are no issues
if it goes south.
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I can tell you that
one in three US workers
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have or are currently involved
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in a romantic workplace relationship,
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and the majority of those people,
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they did not disclose to their employers.
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So, my High Flyers,
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the moral of this story is...
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- disclose, disclose, disclose!
- [clapping]
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You don't have to do it three times.
Just the once will be fine.
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The other two times, I did for emphasis.
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[♪ upbeat music playing]
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[quiet airport chatter]
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I found your earrings this morning.
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Why are you treating it
like it's evidence? [laughs]
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I coulda got it tonight.
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Does this mean
you'll finally stay at my place?
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- No, not with your mama in the next room.
- Boy, she don't care.
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Besides, she told me to
invite you to Thanksgiving.
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She can throw it down.
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You make it hard to say no.
Let me see if I can work out my schedule.
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- You make the schedule.
- [laughs]
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Oh, um,
I disclosed our relationship to HR.
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Wait, why?
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You're a manager.
You should know that.
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It's part of the sexual
harassment seminar.
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No, yeah, yeah, you right,
you right.
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- Yeah.
- You right.
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- [laughs]
- What else did you learn today?
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That telling you about the dream I had,
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where I handcuffed you...
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- Oh.
- ...is definitely
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- sexual harassment.
- [laughs]
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- Ms. Hill, you...
- Mm-hmm?
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...are very, very convincing.
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[♪ sensual music playing]
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Why don't you notify HR that I will
be coming to yours for Thanksgiving.
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- Deal.
- Deal.
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Tell your mama, too.
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- Bye.
- Bye.
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[Alex Williams]
You know you're amazing, right?
180
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Oh yeah, I just...
I just want you to be happy.
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[Patti]
Frick! [sighs]
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[Melissa]
Why are you still here?
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- You're gonna be late for your pickup.
- [Patti] I know.
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I'm supposed to be
having lunch with Mike.
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He's my suitor from Lost and Found.
186
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- [giggles]
- Gross.
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- I'll take it if you take my Friday night.
- Really? Nice!
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Nope, we don't do that.
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Oh. [imitates explosion]
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[♪ upbeat music playing]
191
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Bachelorette in New Orleans.
192
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- Uh-huh. Mm.
- Okay, well, one piece of advice.
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No matter how drunk you get,
those beads have no value.
194
00:08:01,566 --> 00:08:04,736
- Keep your ladies covered.
- [laughs]
195
00:08:04,736 --> 00:08:06,529
It's not that type of bachelorette.
196
00:08:06,529 --> 00:08:08,281
[Melissa]
Then what kind of bachelorette is it?
197
00:08:08,281 --> 00:08:12,077
We're just a bunch of married ladies,
in matching PJs,
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giving the bride
lessons from the battlefield.
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- Ah. Well, can I come, please?
- Uh-huh.
200
00:08:16,456 --> 00:08:19,209
Man, I thought I'd have
relationships figured out by now,
201
00:08:19,209 --> 00:08:21,711
- but I definitely don't.
- [laughs]
202
00:08:21,711 --> 00:08:24,756
- Boy problems?
- Yeah, it's complicated.
203
00:08:24,756 --> 00:08:28,718
I thought I was over my ex,
but he is living in my head rent-free.
204
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- [sighs]
- Mm. Girl, been there.
205
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[Melissa]
Yeah, it's like, part of me knows
206
00:08:33,390 --> 00:08:36,810
that I need to make a clean break of it
and just move on,
207
00:08:36,810 --> 00:08:39,187
- but it's hard.
- Oh, yeah.
208
00:08:39,187 --> 00:08:43,149
So hard because we work together
every single day.
209
00:08:43,149 --> 00:08:44,442
- Clarissa!
- [Clarissa] Julie!
210
00:08:44,442 --> 00:08:46,903
- Julie!?
- You made it! [laughs]
211
00:08:46,903 --> 00:08:49,447
Wild horses and six pins in my ankle
212
00:08:49,447 --> 00:08:51,157
couldn't keep me away!
213
00:08:51,157 --> 00:08:54,244
- Mel, could I talk to you for a second?
- Uh-huh.
214
00:08:54,703 --> 00:08:57,664
[nervous laugh]
This was supposed to be Patti's pickup.
215
00:08:57,664 --> 00:08:58,957
[Melissa]
And now I know why.
216
00:08:58,957 --> 00:09:00,041
So...
217
00:09:00,041 --> 00:09:03,003
me and Julie had a fight last night
about our exes at our wedding.
218
00:09:03,003 --> 00:09:04,838
- Mm-hmm.
- Uh, and I had to tell her about us.
219
00:09:04,838 --> 00:09:06,673
- Wait, she doesn't know about us?
- No, it's not that.
220
00:09:06,673 --> 00:09:08,800
It'd just be great if you could,
like, not be here right now.
221
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:10,719
Yeah, lucky for you,
I don't wanna be here.
222
00:09:10,719 --> 00:09:11,845
Mel!
223
00:09:12,721 --> 00:09:14,723
I've heard so much about you.
It's nice to finally meet.
224
00:09:14,723 --> 00:09:16,057
Right! It's just...
225
00:09:16,057 --> 00:09:18,643
[overlapping awkward chatter]
226
00:09:18,643 --> 00:09:20,270
Uh, Clarissa,
227
00:09:20,270 --> 00:09:22,689
this is Mel.
228
00:09:22,689 --> 00:09:24,941
Wait. You're Mel?
229
00:09:27,485 --> 00:09:30,113
You know what? Uh--
I have to pick up a foreign dignitary,
230
00:09:30,113 --> 00:09:31,865
so I'ma get on that and get you seated
231
00:09:31,865 --> 00:09:35,368
so you guys can get the show on the road,
am I right? [laughs]
232
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Mm, how does this work?
[gibberish]
233
00:09:37,287 --> 00:09:38,872
[announcement over PA]
Attention, passengers.
234
00:09:38,872 --> 00:09:42,500
The terminal is now on lockdown.
All flights are grounded,
235
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:45,086
and you cannot leave the terminal
until further notice.
236
00:09:45,086 --> 00:09:48,465
We appreciate your patience
as we work to resolve this situation.
237
00:09:48,465 --> 00:09:50,508
- Thank you.
- Shit.
238
00:09:50,508 --> 00:09:51,718
So, we're stuck here?
239
00:09:51,718 --> 00:09:54,262
- [♪ downbeat music playing]
- [Alex] Mm-hmm.
240
00:09:54,262 --> 00:09:57,057
Yeah. Yeah, we are.
241
00:09:57,974 --> 00:09:58,975
[clatters]
242
00:10:02,437 --> 00:10:04,731
[passenger] Serena! Serena!
243
00:10:04,731 --> 00:10:06,566
All this is unnecessary.
244
00:10:06,566 --> 00:10:09,110
Serena's a wanderer, always has been.
She'll wander back soon.
245
00:10:09,110 --> 00:10:12,072
I'm sorry, but since you already checked
her in as an unaccompanied minor,
246
00:10:12,072 --> 00:10:15,242
she's the airline's responsibility
until she's found.
247
00:10:15,242 --> 00:10:18,745
- [passenger] Serena!
- Now we know why we're on lockdown.
248
00:10:18,745 --> 00:10:20,247
Well, there goes the swamp tour.
249
00:10:20,247 --> 00:10:23,083
You know what?
I should get to the security office ASAP.
250
00:10:23,083 --> 00:10:25,085
- I'll drive you.
- Oh! Okay, great.
251
00:10:25,085 --> 00:10:27,921
- No. No, no!
- [Alex] Is everything okay?
252
00:10:27,921 --> 00:10:30,632
I checked in the luggage that had
all the scavenger hunt lists inside,
253
00:10:30,632 --> 00:10:31,883
so I only have this one copy.
254
00:10:31,883 --> 00:10:33,510
[cutesy]
Aw, man. Mm.
255
00:10:33,510 --> 00:10:36,346
I figured we could do it while we wait,
but [sighs] now what?
256
00:10:38,557 --> 00:10:39,891
Y-You know what, Yummy?
257
00:10:39,891 --> 00:10:41,726
That is actually solvable.
We'll just go to my office
258
00:10:41,726 --> 00:10:42,936
and make some copies.
259
00:10:42,936 --> 00:10:44,938
No, no, you need to do your job,
so we can get outta here.
260
00:10:44,938 --> 00:10:46,356
But, maybe Mel could take me.
261
00:10:46,356 --> 00:10:47,649
- Oh, no.
- Oh no, she's busy.
262
00:10:47,649 --> 00:10:49,943
- Super busy. Just woo!
- It'd be really quick. [laughs]
263
00:10:49,943 --> 00:10:51,152
Thanks so much!
264
00:10:51,152 --> 00:10:52,821
[♪ "I've Got Your Man"
by Lady Saw playing]
265
00:10:52,821 --> 00:10:55,282
[nervous laugh] Alright, bye.
266
00:10:55,907 --> 00:10:57,409
[nervous laugh]
267
00:10:57,409 --> 00:10:59,786
Oh, Lord have mercy.
268
00:10:59,786 --> 00:11:02,664
♪ I've got yo man,
and you can't do anything ♪
269
00:11:02,664 --> 00:11:05,500
[Melissa]
So, what's on this scavenger hunt list?
270
00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:07,919
Change shirts with a stranger,
get frisked by a cop,
271
00:11:07,919 --> 00:11:09,754
sign a guy's butt.
272
00:11:09,754 --> 00:11:13,091
I mean, I don't see how Alex
could find these "inappropriate."
273
00:11:13,091 --> 00:11:14,843
Well, he's just probably being protective.
274
00:11:14,843 --> 00:11:16,970
- Yeah, that's what he said.
- Mm.
275
00:11:16,970 --> 00:11:19,347
But lucky for him,
I like to keep things spicy.
276
00:11:19,347 --> 00:11:21,850
- I bet you do.
- [giggles]
277
00:11:21,850 --> 00:11:25,312
So, Clarissa tells me you're hung up
on some guy at work.
278
00:11:25,312 --> 00:11:27,230
- It's not Alex, is it? [giggles]
- Oh! No, no, no, no.
279
00:11:27,230 --> 00:11:29,399
It's Carlton... Herman.
280
00:11:29,399 --> 00:11:30,734
He's a merman-- model-- mo--
281
00:11:30,734 --> 00:11:32,235
- He models swimwear. [laughs]
- Oh, okay.
282
00:11:32,235 --> 00:11:34,362
Uh, when he's not doing business,
my business,
283
00:11:34,362 --> 00:11:36,281
- he's all up in my business. [laughs]
- Oh! [laughs]
284
00:11:36,281 --> 00:11:38,700
Um, but yeah. Herman is my nickname
285
00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:40,535
for him with my friends, so...
286
00:11:40,535 --> 00:11:42,329
My nickname for Alex is Energizer Bunny.
287
00:11:42,329 --> 00:11:45,290
- Oh. Ah. Ooh!
- He could keep going and going...
288
00:11:45,290 --> 00:11:47,626
- Did you have a nickname for Alex?
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
289
00:11:47,626 --> 00:11:50,128
I don't give boyfriends nicknames.
290
00:11:50,128 --> 00:11:52,297
It's just plain old Alex.
291
00:11:52,297 --> 00:11:54,549
Alright, here we go. [imitates fanfare]
292
00:11:54,549 --> 00:11:56,468
[laughs]
Let's get you some copies, alright?
293
00:11:56,468 --> 00:11:59,221
♪ And you can't do anything about it ♪
294
00:11:59,221 --> 00:12:00,305
[Julie]
Wait, boyfriend?
295
00:12:00,805 --> 00:12:03,391
I thought it was a little three months,
friends with benefits thing.
296
00:12:03,391 --> 00:12:05,769
Nope. [laughs] It was exactly that.
Not a big deal.
297
00:12:05,769 --> 00:12:07,687
[laughs] Yeah, right. Of course not.
298
00:12:07,687 --> 00:12:09,064
[♪ tense music playing]
299
00:12:09,064 --> 00:12:10,607
Oh, God, no, it's just Alex told me
300
00:12:10,607 --> 00:12:12,609
that you were very clear
you didn't want anything more.
301
00:12:12,609 --> 00:12:14,694
No, I didn't, and I don't.
302
00:12:14,694 --> 00:12:16,321
Right.
303
00:12:16,321 --> 00:12:18,490
Look, we're so glad that
you're coming to our wedding.
304
00:12:18,490 --> 00:12:20,325
Alex told me that you're afraid to fly.
305
00:12:20,325 --> 00:12:21,952
Yep. [awkward laugh]
306
00:12:21,952 --> 00:12:24,537
You're such a good friend for doing that.
307
00:12:25,705 --> 00:12:27,707
[DeShawn]
I hope this lockdown lasts all day too.
308
00:12:27,707 --> 00:12:30,627
Shit, I'm tryna take all y'all money.
Oh, yeah, that's my book.
309
00:12:30,627 --> 00:12:32,796
[Kaya]
What's this about Tina and Thanksgiving?
310
00:12:32,796 --> 00:12:34,923
- Please tell me you didn't say yes.
- It's just dinner!
311
00:12:34,923 --> 00:12:37,634
Aw, y'all cute or whatever.
312
00:12:37,634 --> 00:12:40,095
It's not dinner, T,
it's Thanksgiving dinner.
313
00:12:40,095 --> 00:12:42,180
That's why they named it!
Look, bro, next you know,
314
00:12:42,180 --> 00:12:44,516
she gonna be at your house,
every night, bonnet on.
315
00:12:44,516 --> 00:12:47,894
Facts. Probably canceling her cable
and utilities right now.
316
00:12:47,894 --> 00:12:50,355
- [Kaya] Don't pay them no mind.
- It's not even that serious.
317
00:12:50,355 --> 00:12:51,898
We literally just started dating.
318
00:12:51,898 --> 00:12:53,525
Oh, "Just started dating."
Like a year ago!
319
00:12:53,525 --> 00:12:55,235
[Kaya]
Okay, okay, let's settle this.
320
00:12:55,235 --> 00:12:58,613
Has she left any random shit at your spot?
321
00:12:58,613 --> 00:13:01,491
Uh, a pair of earrings,
but it was an accident.
322
00:13:01,491 --> 00:13:03,910
[sighs] Okay, if it was one earring,
it would be an accident.
323
00:13:03,910 --> 00:13:06,705
A pair of earrings, she's saying,
"Oh, we go together now."
324
00:13:06,705 --> 00:13:08,623
Exactly. Bro, what'd I tell you?
325
00:13:08,623 --> 00:13:10,875
These girls are smart! Three stacks.
326
00:13:10,875 --> 00:13:12,419
Wh-What about your earrings?
327
00:13:12,419 --> 00:13:14,838
Do you leave them at home,
or you got a place to leave 'em?
328
00:13:14,838 --> 00:13:17,173
- What are you doing right now?
- I'm trying to hit on her.
329
00:13:17,173 --> 00:13:21,052
- [DeShawn] Bro, why would you say that?
- Okay, look, anyway!
330
00:13:21,052 --> 00:13:22,846
If you aren't serious about Tina,
331
00:13:22,846 --> 00:13:25,140
you need to break up with her
before the holidays.
332
00:13:25,140 --> 00:13:28,184
Look, do I like her?
Yeah. Of course. She's great.
333
00:13:28,184 --> 00:13:30,604
But is she the one? I don't know.
334
00:13:30,604 --> 00:13:33,148
- I mean, how does anyone know?
- [overlapping hums]
335
00:13:33,148 --> 00:13:35,400
You know, bro, honestly, for me,
336
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:38,194
it's when the imperfections stop being
the deal breaker.
337
00:13:38,194 --> 00:13:40,113
That's when you know,
you know what I'm saying?
338
00:13:40,113 --> 00:13:42,866
Like, I knew Didi was the one
when I would share everything with her.
339
00:13:42,866 --> 00:13:45,243
- Aw.
- Everything? Even your food?
340
00:13:45,243 --> 00:13:46,828
Oh, especially my food, bro. For real.
341
00:13:46,828 --> 00:13:50,248
I'm not sharing my food with nobody.
I will never be that in love, straight up.
342
00:13:50,248 --> 00:13:53,501
- [DeShawn] [laughs] Famous last words.
- [Kaya] You're gonna be alone forever.
343
00:13:53,501 --> 00:13:56,421
[announcement over PA]
We thank you for your continued patience
344
00:13:56,421 --> 00:13:57,756
during this lockdown.
345
00:13:57,756 --> 00:13:59,049
[Julie]
Oh, no way.
346
00:14:00,175 --> 00:14:02,969
Are you looking for anything
in particular? Can I help?
347
00:14:03,637 --> 00:14:04,888
[Julie]
When I started dating Alex,
348
00:14:04,888 --> 00:14:07,265
he would take me to this
Thai restaurant all the time.
349
00:14:07,265 --> 00:14:09,976
He thought he was being all fancy
ordering off the menu.
350
00:14:09,976 --> 00:14:11,895
"We'll take the good shrimp,
not the frozen shrimp.
351
00:14:11,895 --> 00:14:14,731
- And tell Gus to make it extra spicy."
- [mouthing along]
352
00:14:14,731 --> 00:14:16,233
Um...
353
00:14:16,233 --> 00:14:19,569
That's a good order.
I, um, I used to work there.
354
00:14:22,948 --> 00:14:24,950
[sighs] You know, you...
355
00:14:24,950 --> 00:14:27,911
you have such a pretty face.
356
00:14:27,911 --> 00:14:31,122
There has to be someone that can help you
move on from Mr. Merman.
357
00:14:31,873 --> 00:14:35,001
Yeah, there's this guy
in my management class,
358
00:14:35,001 --> 00:14:38,213
but, you know, he entered the chat,
but I don't know.
359
00:14:38,213 --> 00:14:39,798
Okay, fun fact.
360
00:14:40,465 --> 00:14:42,968
I wasn't so sure of Alex
when we first met.
361
00:14:43,635 --> 00:14:45,512
But then, he surprised me
362
00:14:45,512 --> 00:14:48,682
by making me fall in love with him.
[weak laugh]
363
00:14:53,812 --> 00:14:56,565
I probably shouldn't tell you this, but...
364
00:14:56,565 --> 00:14:59,025
Alex is looking at jobs
at Hartsfield-Jackson.
365
00:14:59,025 --> 00:15:01,736
[laughs] Cool.
366
00:15:02,487 --> 00:15:04,239
I could put in a good word
with him if you like.
367
00:15:04,239 --> 00:15:06,241
- [rattling]
- Yeah, that would-- Oh! Look, okay!
368
00:15:06,241 --> 00:15:09,244
- [slams tray]
- It's always the toner. [laughs]
369
00:15:09,244 --> 00:15:11,496
Um, it's always
the last place you look. We should,
370
00:15:11,496 --> 00:15:13,957
- you know, probably test it out.
- Yeah, let's test it out.
371
00:15:13,957 --> 00:15:16,084
Just so he won't forget.
372
00:15:16,084 --> 00:15:18,295
- [copying]
- Of course you have perfect titties.
373
00:15:18,295 --> 00:15:21,798
- [Julie giggles]
- [♪ jazz music playing]
374
00:15:21,798 --> 00:15:24,217
- [sighs]
- [laughs] Oh, my God.
375
00:15:24,217 --> 00:15:26,344
- [fake laugh, indistinct]
- What!?
376
00:15:26,344 --> 00:15:29,431
- He's gonna love this. [laughs]
- [typing]
377
00:15:32,225 --> 00:15:33,226
[text whirs]
378
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:36,521
[sends text]
379
00:15:37,689 --> 00:15:40,692
- [♪ jazz continues]
- [vents whirring]
380
00:15:44,696 --> 00:15:47,699
[♪ jazz trumpet solo]
381
00:16:01,129 --> 00:16:02,923
[♪ music tempo increases]
382
00:16:05,759 --> 00:16:07,719
[♪ music softens]
383
00:16:10,263 --> 00:16:12,140
I've been waiting for you.
384
00:16:12,140 --> 00:16:13,683
♪
385
00:16:18,313 --> 00:16:20,440
[Melissa] It's crazy how much
random food is in here,
386
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:22,609
and it doesn't smell like a compost pile.
387
00:16:22,609 --> 00:16:24,527
You'd be surprised what
palo santo can do, you know?
388
00:16:24,527 --> 00:16:26,279
[Melissa]
Mm. That's true, powerful stuff.
389
00:16:26,279 --> 00:16:28,281
- Okay, be honest.
- Mm-hmm.
390
00:16:28,281 --> 00:16:30,242
How much of this shit
do you end up stealing?
391
00:16:30,242 --> 00:16:32,786
Honestly, most of it.
392
00:16:32,786 --> 00:16:33,912
[laughs]
393
00:16:33,912 --> 00:16:37,582
Listen, it's not like people can come back
looking for it or whatever. They...
394
00:16:37,582 --> 00:16:40,835
go off to whatever country they're from,
leave all this stuff to go bad.
395
00:16:40,835 --> 00:16:42,587
- Better to not waste it.
- Ah.
396
00:16:42,587 --> 00:16:44,756
You are doing a good service, sir.
397
00:16:44,756 --> 00:16:47,467
- Thank you. [laughs]
- [laughs]
398
00:16:48,093 --> 00:16:49,511
I'm actually surprised you came.
399
00:16:50,679 --> 00:16:52,138
Well, I'm...
400
00:16:52,931 --> 00:16:54,349
full of surprises.
401
00:16:57,352 --> 00:16:59,563
- L-Let me give you a tour.
- Yeah, yeah. [laughs]
402
00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:02,816
- [♪ sensual music playing]
- He tastes like salami.
403
00:17:02,816 --> 00:17:05,110
- I'm sensing a theme.
- ♪ Baby baby ♪
404
00:17:05,110 --> 00:17:07,362
I can do this, just like I practiced.
405
00:17:10,574 --> 00:17:12,242
Thank God I shaved this morning.
406
00:17:13,952 --> 00:17:15,495
Is he doing the alphabet?
407
00:17:15,495 --> 00:17:16,913
[heavy breathing]
408
00:17:16,913 --> 00:17:19,583
Nope, just the letter I, italicized.
409
00:17:20,792 --> 00:17:23,253
Aw, he's so proud of himself.
410
00:17:23,253 --> 00:17:24,379
Good for you.
411
00:17:25,088 --> 00:17:26,965
- Is that a condom or chocolate?
- [laughs]
412
00:17:26,965 --> 00:17:28,216
Either way, yes.
413
00:17:28,216 --> 00:17:30,385
- [Carlos grunts]
- [Melissa] Ooh! [gasps]
414
00:17:30,385 --> 00:17:32,220
[grunting]
415
00:17:32,220 --> 00:17:33,805
Not a chocolate.
416
00:17:35,891 --> 00:17:38,560
Ooh! It's chocolate week on
British Bake Off.
417
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:41,187
- [grunting]
- Girl, focus up before it's over.
418
00:17:41,187 --> 00:17:42,647
[gasps]
419
00:17:42,647 --> 00:17:45,233
And it's over. Okay.
420
00:17:46,067 --> 00:17:47,068
[♪ music stops]
421
00:17:47,068 --> 00:17:48,153
Whoo!
422
00:17:48,153 --> 00:17:49,613
[laughs]
423
00:17:49,613 --> 00:17:52,365
- That was fun, right?
- [Melissa] I miss Alex.
424
00:17:53,325 --> 00:17:55,619
- [sighs]
- Yeah, it was. Totally.
425
00:17:55,619 --> 00:17:57,996
Uh, where'd you get
that scar on your chest?
426
00:17:57,996 --> 00:17:59,915
Oh.
We went camping upstate last summer,
427
00:17:59,915 --> 00:18:02,375
and I-I tried this Bear Grylls hack,
and I was--
428
00:18:02,375 --> 00:18:04,836
We? What do you mean by we?
429
00:18:05,921 --> 00:18:07,756
You don't care that I got a missus, right?
430
00:18:07,756 --> 00:18:09,633
[belt rattling]
431
00:18:10,467 --> 00:18:13,720
- You're married. [snickers] Of course.
- Uh-huh.
432
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:15,680
Mel, what's the big deal?
N-No one has to know.
433
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,849
I do! I know!
434
00:18:17,849 --> 00:18:19,476
Why would you cheat on your wife?
435
00:18:19,476 --> 00:18:21,394
I don't wanna talk about
my marriage right now.
436
00:18:21,394 --> 00:18:24,773
Okay, yeah, and I wanted to cum,
and that didn't happen for me,
437
00:18:24,773 --> 00:18:26,816
so I guess this didn't work out
for either of us.
438
00:18:26,816 --> 00:18:29,110
- [Carlos] Wow.
- [Melissa] Okay--
439
00:18:29,110 --> 00:18:31,196
You know what?
Just one thing. Why me?
440
00:18:31,196 --> 00:18:33,114
Why not? You're beautiful--
441
00:18:33,114 --> 00:18:34,824
Ew! Ew. Ew.
442
00:18:34,824 --> 00:18:36,534
We're two adults,
443
00:18:36,534 --> 00:18:39,246
killing time during a lockdown.
444
00:18:39,246 --> 00:18:42,415
I-I seriously don't understand
why you're getting so upset.
445
00:18:43,375 --> 00:18:45,877
Because I shat where I ate!
446
00:18:49,047 --> 00:18:51,675
[hushed]
Pull it together, pull it together.
447
00:18:51,675 --> 00:18:54,052
[phone dings]
448
00:18:58,223 --> 00:19:00,225
- [sniffles]
- [clattering]
449
00:19:00,225 --> 00:19:01,309
[sniffles]
450
00:19:12,112 --> 00:19:15,031
- What are you doing back here?
- Nothing.
451
00:19:15,031 --> 00:19:17,200
Nothing is my favorite thing to do.
452
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:18,660
Can I sit there?
453
00:19:18,660 --> 00:19:21,079
I am very much in the mood
454
00:19:21,079 --> 00:19:23,665
to do absolutely nothing.
455
00:19:25,208 --> 00:19:27,919
Well, a lot of people are
looking for you right now.
456
00:19:28,962 --> 00:19:29,963
Why are you hiding?
457
00:19:30,755 --> 00:19:32,883
Because my mom says I have to go
458
00:19:32,883 --> 00:19:35,343
to North Carolina to see my dad.
459
00:19:35,927 --> 00:19:37,137
That sounds fun.
460
00:19:37,137 --> 00:19:40,765
I've never been to North Carolina.
What if I don't like it?
461
00:19:40,765 --> 00:19:43,602
Mm... Well,
462
00:19:43,602 --> 00:19:45,604
depending on which part, you might not.
463
00:19:45,604 --> 00:19:48,815
But, you know, doing something new
464
00:19:48,815 --> 00:19:51,610
is scary for everybody, not just you.
465
00:19:52,068 --> 00:19:55,989
Let me tell you a story about
taking chances. It's about Bessie...
466
00:19:56,698 --> 00:20:00,660
something.
She was the first Black female pilot
467
00:20:00,660 --> 00:20:02,454
to fly in the US.
468
00:20:03,496 --> 00:20:05,040
Or France.
469
00:20:05,749 --> 00:20:07,459
There was something about France.
470
00:20:07,459 --> 00:20:11,004
I wish I'd read the blurb,
but I got the gist. Anyway,
471
00:20:11,004 --> 00:20:12,672
imagine how she felt
472
00:20:12,672 --> 00:20:15,634
doing something new
for the first time,
473
00:20:15,634 --> 00:20:19,596
not knowing how they'd treat her
or if she'd make friends.
474
00:20:19,596 --> 00:20:21,681
- And-- [grunts] Duck!
- [door banging]
475
00:20:21,681 --> 00:20:23,892
[♪ upbeat music playing]
476
00:20:27,145 --> 00:20:28,146
[sighs]
477
00:20:29,147 --> 00:20:30,774
Who was that man?
478
00:20:31,524 --> 00:20:34,903
Nobody. Absolutely nobody.
479
00:20:37,572 --> 00:20:38,573
You know what?
480
00:20:39,032 --> 00:20:41,034
Do you wanna see the display?
481
00:20:41,034 --> 00:20:43,078
And you'll have something fun
to tell your dad.
482
00:20:43,078 --> 00:20:44,412
- Deal?
- Okay.
483
00:20:44,996 --> 00:20:46,748
Alright. Let's get outta here.
484
00:20:46,748 --> 00:20:49,334
♪
485
00:20:50,627 --> 00:20:52,128
Oh, no!
486
00:20:52,128 --> 00:20:54,631
I forgot how to honk the horn!
487
00:20:54,631 --> 00:20:56,967
- Oh, I can do it.
- Okay.
488
00:20:56,967 --> 00:20:58,927
- [honks horn]
- [over PA] Ladies and gentlemen,
489
00:20:58,927 --> 00:21:01,096
the lockdown has been lifted.
490
00:21:01,096 --> 00:21:03,890
Thank you for your patience
as we work to get you to your destination.
491
00:21:03,890 --> 00:21:06,726
Where were you? You should've checked in.
I could've helped.
492
00:21:06,726 --> 00:21:09,604
Well, at least now you know I can
handle things when you're not around.
493
00:21:10,564 --> 00:21:11,982
Have fun in Atlanta.
494
00:21:11,982 --> 00:21:16,069
♪
495
00:21:19,472 --> 00:21:21,908
Those jackals picked
every bone clean up there.
496
00:21:21,908 --> 00:21:24,578
First rule of lockdown,
take what's yours, and fast.
497
00:21:24,578 --> 00:21:27,372
Okay. Good to know
you got survival skills.
498
00:21:27,372 --> 00:21:28,582
- [giggles] Ah!
- Ah-ah! Whoa.
499
00:21:29,666 --> 00:21:31,209
Talk about biting the hand that feeds you!
500
00:21:31,209 --> 00:21:32,586
Sorry, it's not you, I promise.
501
00:21:32,586 --> 00:21:34,087
- Wow.
- I grew up with five brothers,
502
00:21:34,087 --> 00:21:36,089
and my survival skill is not sharing food.
503
00:21:36,089 --> 00:21:38,300
Well, there'll be plenty enough
to go around on Thanksgiving.
504
00:21:38,300 --> 00:21:40,594
- No need to bare your fangs, babe.
- I will be on my best behavior.
505
00:21:40,594 --> 00:21:42,429
- I'll even bake a pie.
- [laughs]
506
00:21:42,429 --> 00:21:45,473
[phone alert]
507
00:21:45,473 --> 00:21:47,684
Well, my break is done.
508
00:21:47,684 --> 00:21:50,020
- I'll see you tonight.
- Mm-hmm.
509
00:21:50,020 --> 00:21:52,606
- Oh, and you owe me a foot rub.
- Yes, ma'am.
510
00:21:52,606 --> 00:21:56,359
[planes idling]
511
00:21:57,152 --> 00:21:58,153
Well, well, well.
512
00:21:58,695 --> 00:22:01,072
Melissa Action Jackson.
513
00:22:01,698 --> 00:22:03,491
How's it feel to be a hero?
514
00:22:03,491 --> 00:22:06,077
- [crunching]
- I don't really feel much like a hero.
515
00:22:06,077 --> 00:22:07,370
What's up?
516
00:22:08,413 --> 00:22:10,624
I'm really trying to change, Terrance,
517
00:22:10,624 --> 00:22:13,293
but I keep hitting wall
after wall after wall,
518
00:22:13,293 --> 00:22:16,046
and it's like I'm stuck.
519
00:22:17,505 --> 00:22:19,507
And I don't wanna give up, but-- [scoffs]
520
00:22:20,550 --> 00:22:22,469
shit hurts.
521
00:22:22,469 --> 00:22:24,638
You sound like my Roomba.
522
00:22:24,638 --> 00:22:26,640
- Come again?
- Hear me out.
523
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:30,185
When I first got it, I was like, "Yo,
this robot is about to change my life."
524
00:22:30,185 --> 00:22:33,230
- I'm about to change the channel.
- Stay with me, Jackson.
525
00:22:33,230 --> 00:22:36,066
So, for the first couple of days,
all the Roomba did was hit walls.
526
00:22:36,066 --> 00:22:38,276
- Mm.
- I thought the shit was broke.
527
00:22:38,276 --> 00:22:39,986
I was ready to send it back.
528
00:22:39,986 --> 00:22:42,614
Then I woke up one day,
and the shit was working.
529
00:22:43,073 --> 00:22:45,867
Turns out, the walls were information.
530
00:22:45,867 --> 00:22:48,411
Every wall was teaching it where to go
531
00:22:48,411 --> 00:22:49,996
and where not to.
532
00:22:49,996 --> 00:22:52,082
[crunching]
533
00:22:52,791 --> 00:22:54,501
- Okay, Yoda.
- [laughs]
534
00:22:55,627 --> 00:22:58,171
Alright. I'm a Roomba.
535
00:22:58,171 --> 00:23:00,632
- Come on.
- Yay. [laughs]
536
00:23:01,550 --> 00:23:03,176
- [radio clicks]
- [Patti] [on radio] Patti for Mel.
537
00:23:03,176 --> 00:23:05,679
Pickup at B35.
538
00:23:05,679 --> 00:23:07,973
[sighs] Roger that, on my way.
539
00:23:07,973 --> 00:23:10,267
I don't know why she's such a bitch.
540
00:23:10,267 --> 00:23:12,852
[Patti] [on radio]
Uh, you're still pressing the talk button.
541
00:23:12,852 --> 00:23:15,063
- I know.
- [laughs]
542
00:23:15,730 --> 00:23:17,023
I gotta go.
543
00:23:17,566 --> 00:23:18,567
Oof!
544
00:23:18,567 --> 00:23:20,860
When you gonna give that up?
545
00:23:20,860 --> 00:23:23,280
Okay, one wall at a time.
546
00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:25,156
[laughs] That's fair.
547
00:23:25,156 --> 00:23:26,491
Plus, if I quit, you'll figure out
548
00:23:26,491 --> 00:23:28,910
that the only reason why I come down here
is for your little metaphors.
549
00:23:28,910 --> 00:23:30,870
- I got a million of 'em.
- Ooh.
550
00:23:30,870 --> 00:23:32,956
- [♪ upbeat music playing]
- And your chips.
551
00:23:34,165 --> 00:23:35,709
And crumbs.
552
00:23:36,585 --> 00:23:37,586
Mm, good.
553
00:23:44,885 --> 00:23:47,888
- [♪ "Five Seconds" by Twin Shadow playing]
- [train rumbling]
554
00:23:51,683 --> 00:23:52,767
No, I'm serious!
555
00:23:52,767 --> 00:23:55,520
We've all have thought about
having sex at work, right?
556
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:57,606
- [Allie] Mm-hmm.
- I just didn't think I would do it
557
00:23:57,606 --> 00:23:59,608
- on top of or near charcuterie.
- Ew.
558
00:23:59,608 --> 00:24:02,944
- The sausage goes inside, not under.
- Thank you!
559
00:24:02,944 --> 00:24:05,280
As God is my witness, I am never, ever
560
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:07,198
dating anyone at work again.
561
00:24:07,198 --> 00:24:08,783
Well, your boyfriend,
Jackie D's gon' fix it.
562
00:24:08,783 --> 00:24:11,286
- Mm, he been helping me fix it all day.
- [Allie/Tamika] Mm-hmm.
563
00:24:11,286 --> 00:24:12,704
- [glasses clink]
- Thank you.
564
00:24:12,704 --> 00:24:14,456
[Tamika]
Alright, let's ruin this fruit man's life!
565
00:24:14,456 --> 00:24:17,918
I got his Facebook, LinkedIn,
and Venmo up. Let's do this.
566
00:24:17,918 --> 00:24:20,462
- No! [laughs]
- Okay. Calm down! [laughs]
567
00:24:20,462 --> 00:24:22,464
- I'm so ready.
- I know, I appreciate you,
568
00:24:22,464 --> 00:24:24,591
but karmically,
I ain't got no more cards to play.
569
00:24:24,591 --> 00:24:26,384
So, if you wanna help me,
570
00:24:26,384 --> 00:24:29,387
- you can update my HiveMind profile.
- Dassit?!
571
00:24:29,387 --> 00:24:32,933
- Yes!
- Look, I hit a wall today, but...
572
00:24:34,017 --> 00:24:35,227
I'ma keep going.
573
00:24:35,685 --> 00:24:37,729
- I'm proud of you. [laughs]
- Aw, thank you. [laughs]
574
00:24:37,729 --> 00:24:40,190
Uh, you have no full-body pics on this.
575
00:24:40,190 --> 00:24:43,401
Um, that's because they already know
what's on the outside of that. [grunts]
576
00:24:43,401 --> 00:24:45,987
Alright, hold on,
I think I have something that will work.
577
00:24:45,987 --> 00:24:47,989
Okay, have you had sex at the bar?
578
00:24:49,366 --> 00:24:51,576
Okay, that was a long pause! [laughs]
579
00:24:52,494 --> 00:24:54,537
I got it. My finest work.
580
00:24:54,537 --> 00:24:57,540
Mel, meet Mel 2.0.
581
00:24:57,540 --> 00:24:59,501
[weak laugh]
582
00:24:59,501 --> 00:25:00,627
Wow.
583
00:25:01,169 --> 00:25:03,380
- [laughs]
- Okay, legs. I'm stealing that top.
584
00:25:04,089 --> 00:25:07,050
Wow. Alright, let's put
this picture to work y'all.
585
00:25:07,050 --> 00:25:08,510
[laughter]
586
00:25:08,802 --> 00:25:09,803
[sharp exhale]
587
00:25:10,470 --> 00:25:11,972
- Here we go.
- [Tamika] Nope.
588
00:25:11,972 --> 00:25:14,266
- [Allie] He's cute.
- [Melissa] He's 24!
589
00:25:14,266 --> 00:25:16,226
- Not with the teeny-weeny beanie.
- [Tamika] What? Ew!
590
00:25:16,226 --> 00:25:18,770
Get away from the life coaches.
That's just drug dealers.
591
00:25:18,770 --> 00:25:20,855
Okay, if he has that many scarves,
he don't need me.
592
00:25:20,855 --> 00:25:22,482
- No, no, no, that's a life coach.
- Okay. No,
593
00:25:22,482 --> 00:25:23,984
the fish, if he was cooking it.
594
00:25:23,984 --> 00:25:26,194
- [Allie] Oh. He's got soulful eyes.
- [Tamika] He's cute. Mm.
595
00:25:26,194 --> 00:25:27,279
[scoffs]
596
00:25:27,737 --> 00:25:30,198
♪ There's no way to forget it all ♪
597
00:25:30,198 --> 00:25:32,242
[chuckles] It's my brother.
598
00:25:32,242 --> 00:25:34,869
- [hoarse laugh]
- [Tamika] Why is that so funny?
599
00:25:36,037 --> 00:25:37,539
He's married.
600
00:25:37,539 --> 00:25:40,458
♪ I'm not trying to make you cry ♪
601
00:25:40,458 --> 00:25:43,545
♪
602
00:25:51,094 --> 00:25:53,722
♪ I don't believe it ♪
603
00:25:53,722 --> 00:25:56,933
♪ You don't believe in me ♪
604
00:25:56,933 --> 00:26:00,854
♪ So, how could you make me cry? ♪
605
00:26:02,731 --> 00:26:05,233
♪There's no way to forget it all ♪
606
00:26:05,233 --> 00:26:07,819
♪ I don't know why ♪
607
00:26:07,819 --> 00:26:11,656
♪ But I'm not trying to make you cry ♪
608
00:26:13,366 --> 00:26:15,368
♪ Five seconds in your heart ♪
609
00:26:16,077 --> 00:26:18,079
♪ Straight to the heart ♪
610
00:26:18,622 --> 00:26:20,665
♪ I can't get to your heart ♪
611
00:26:23,668 --> 00:26:24,669
[♪ song ends]
612
00:26:34,679 --> 00:26:37,599
[♪ fanfare playing]