1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,480 NARRATOR: Oh, hi. Did you miss me? 2 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:07,720 So, remember when Janet and Samuel went looking for someone 3 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:09,840 to buy all the drugs they found on the boat? 4 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:11,320 Do you know anyone who would buy it? 5 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:14,560 Samuel's ex-client Craig put them in touch with Vinny. 6 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:16,840 Argh! Ouch! 7 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:19,560 And in return he asked for... Life rights. 8 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:22,640 Janet and Samuel came up with a cover story, cos... 9 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:25,720 There is nothing more powerful than a good story. 10 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:28,240 Unfortunately, the guy buying the drugs was all... 11 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:29,800 What you doing with a business card 12 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:32,640 belonging to a lawyer called Samuel Wells? 13 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:34,120 But then Janet saved the day - 14 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:36,560 dressed up, all tattooed and Russian-like. 15 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:39,720 RUSSIAN ACCENT: Everyone needs a lawyer. He is mine, come, come. 16 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:41,760 And Vinny had a change of heart and said... 17 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:44,760 I'll name the time and place. You bring the product. 18 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:46,640 Meanwhile... Ben. ..found a flyer 19 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:50,160 this guy, who's name is Guy, left behind. 20 00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:53,560 And The Tailor met this lady and called her... Madam Bethune? 21 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:55,600 That's not her name but she didn't mind cos... 22 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:58,760 This were a bit different. Getting a bit of French up in me. 23 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:01,200 She even gave him a clue about who took the drugs. 24 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:04,640 We're looking for a Pomeranian. What's that, like, an Italian fella? 25 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:07,080 LAUGHING: No, it's a dog! 26 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:11,120 Oh. You got all that? Oh, and those life rights I mentioned? 27 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:12,320 Turns out, months later, 28 00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:15,880 Samuel's ex-client turned this whole thing into a play. 29 00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:18,640 # Insomnia! # 30 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:19,680 And not a very good one. 31 00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:26,000 SINGING IN FRENCH 32 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,000 BELL JANGLES 33 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,200 IN FRENCH: 34 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:30,080 HE LAUGHS 35 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:31,160 Tres bien. 36 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:34,840 NARRATOR: This chapter of our story starts way back when, 37 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:38,320 in a different country and a different time, 38 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:41,680 a different language and even a different colour, 39 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:44,200 but it doesn't stop making it a... 40 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:47,240 MALE SINGER VOCALISES 41 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:41,760 NARRATOR: Even bad guys fall in love. 42 00:04:43,840 --> 00:04:46,200 And why the hell not? 43 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:52,440 Cos it feels like some days the world has a little magic in it. 44 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:54,480 IN FRENCH: 45 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:02,440 MUSIC: Magic by Pilot 46 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:15,640 # Ho, ho, ho, it's magic 47 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:18,360 # You know 48 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:22,680 # Never believe it's not so... # Clothesline facts. Subscribe. 49 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:24,840 # ..It's magic 50 00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:28,000 # You know 51 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:33,240 # Never believe it's not so... # 52 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:39,480 Right, we're nearly there. 53 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:43,560 Oh, shit. What? Fuck. Me tattoo's rubbed off, look. 54 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,240 I can't go out like this. 55 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:48,320 Just stay in the car, then. 56 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:50,640 SHE SIGHS 57 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:50,640 Sorry. 58 00:05:56,560 --> 00:06:00,720 # ..Ho, ho, ho, it's magic 59 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:03,400 # You know 60 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:07,720 # Never believe it's not so 61 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:10,000 # It's magic 62 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,960 # You know. # 63 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,960 MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY 64 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:22,520 HE SNIFFS 65 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:21,720 MUSIC RESUMES 66 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:25,920 # Ho, ho, ho, it's magic 67 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:28,960 # You know 68 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:33,200 # Never believe it's not so 69 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:35,400 # It's magic 70 00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:38,560 # You know 71 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,040 # Never believe 72 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:48,040 # It's not soooooo... # 73 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:06,040 We should clear this up. Yeah. 74 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:07,360 Unless we don't! 75 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:10,120 SHE WHOOPS 76 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:10,120 # It's magic... # 77 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:14,240 HE BLOWS 78 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,880 Moment's passed, Janet. Yeah. 79 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:32,440 PHONE RINGS 80 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:40,480 Can't talk now, Mummy. But it's Martin Luther King Day. 81 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:43,120 We don't celebrate Martin Luther King Day. Why not? 82 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:44,960 Well, we're not black, for a start. 83 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:46,880 You don't have to be black to celebrate it. 84 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:50,440 You just have to have an innate sense of justice. 85 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:52,520 I could close up the shop if you fancied coming back 86 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:56,240 and celebrating with me. I'm on a stakeout. What? A stakeout! 87 00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:59,800 'Scuse me, you got any more king prawn and black bean? 88 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:03,000 Buffet's closing. Full price menu from now. 89 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:07,640 So I was cleaning up the station, right? 90 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:09,880 And I find this flyer for a Chinese restaurant 91 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:11,760 and someone's scribbled a map on the back, 92 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:15,600 marking out where the evidence room is. That's what they were looking for, the shooters. 93 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:19,200 Hang on, if you're on a stakeout in a Chinese restaurant right now, 94 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:23,000 should you be saying this stuff? It's fine, it's empty. 95 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,400 Anyroad, there was blood all over the flyer. 96 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:28,720 And here's the kicker - there was a 20% off voucher on the bottom, 97 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:30,880 and it's missing. OK... 98 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:33,680 The blood looked like it would've gone on the bit that were torn off. 99 00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:36,240 Don't you see? The gunmen must've tooken the voucher 100 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:39,600 after they did the shooting. I've asked management here, 101 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:43,000 and no-one's used the voucher that the flyer came from. 102 00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:46,040 So, you think that someone 103 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:48,960 who murdered a station full of police officers 104 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:51,880 is going to waltz into the nearby Chinese restaurant 105 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:54,160 and risk getting caught just to save a tenner? 106 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:57,480 Look, my mate Rob has a mate who knows a detective 107 00:09:57,480 --> 00:10:01,160 on the Major Enquiry Team, and they say that they've got nothing. 108 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:03,960 Sometimes if you want to drink champagne at the big table 109 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:07,200 with the big boys, you got to bring your own straw. 110 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:11,640 Hold on, hold on, hold on. If this is important, as you say, 111 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:13,280 then how come you found it? 112 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,520 I would have thought they had a forensics team 113 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:18,720 all over that police station. There were. There still are. 114 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:21,680 It's just there's so much to do, they ain't gone outside yet. 115 00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:25,760 Well, if it's evidence, hand it in. That's your job. 116 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:29,440 You don't believe me, do you? You never have. 117 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:32,280 Oh, Ben, that's not true. 118 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,360 You just want me home cos you're lonely. Ben, stop. 119 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:38,440 I can't be your BFF, Mummy. Not now. 120 00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:41,040 I've even taken time off work for this. As much time as it takes 121 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:43,800 to crack this thing wide open, like one of these lovely king prawns 122 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:46,160 that they're not going to bring me. Then you'll see. 123 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:47,960 Then everyone's going to see. 124 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,720 Full price menu. 125 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,720 Dave, hi! It's Samuel. 126 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:14,000 Er, I just thought you should know 127 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,280 that I will be paying you back today. 128 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:24,040 All of it. Cheers, mate. 129 00:11:56,960 --> 00:12:00,320 OK, team, I'll be back in, in a min. 130 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,840 Don't go missing me too much, now, Kevin! 131 00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:06,760 Hiya. 132 00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:15,320 What you want, then? I wanted that. 133 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:19,000 And then I...I had it, for a while, anyway, but I thought that'd be me. 134 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:22,800 You know, growing old, having tea with my boy. 135 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:25,520 It were my life and then it weren't. 136 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:29,160 Fuck's sake, sweetheart. I missed out 137 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:32,840 on showing a two-bedroomed, south-facing for this? 138 00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:35,920 Do you think that people who foster children love them any less? 139 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:38,640 Cos I don't. I think that maybe they, they love 'em even more 140 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:40,520 because they had to choose it. 141 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:45,400 You know, when I first met you, I thought that you were like a saint. 142 00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:49,880 Your missus runs off with a pharmacy's worth of shite, 143 00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:53,320 leaving you holding the baby, and I would look at you and I would think, 144 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:56,000 "Oh, wow! 145 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,520 "That takes a special kind of someone, you know, 146 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:01,880 "to hold it all together, stick it out." 147 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:08,320 But you didn't really want it, did you? 148 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:10,560 You wanted to play at being Saint Peter, 149 00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:14,480 you wanted to wear the pointy fucking hat, 150 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:19,120 but you didn't want all the noise, or the... I got to get back to work, 151 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:23,440 so if you're done lecturing... 152 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,280 Look in the bag. 153 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,640 Look in it. 154 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:29,880 Go on. 155 00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:36,360 Jesus! 156 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:39,680 There's 100K in there. It's yours. 157 00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:43,560 If you put the brakes on your plans to go to Australia. You what? 158 00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:47,000 Now, who's to say that you don't, you know, you don't take that money 159 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,600 and fuck off to Oz anyway without a second thought? 160 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:55,040 And that is why there is another 100K in there - that is 200 so far. 161 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:57,080 I give you that, 162 00:13:57,080 --> 00:14:01,200 you go about the process of letting me legally adopt Alan. 163 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:04,000 And guess what - wait for it, cos we're not done yet - 164 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,680 when it's official, you get another 200. 165 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:12,280 Where on earth did you...? It don't matter. 166 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:14,880 Well, it does bloody matter, that's nearly half a million quid 167 00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:18,360 you're talking about! Do you want it or not? I... 168 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:23,080 As a Christian man... Oh! 169 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:23,080 SHE LAUGHS 170 00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:25,080 You...You are no more a Christian 171 00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:31,440 or a...a man than that sausage roll on the floor over there. 172 00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:33,680 I think it's a fajita. 173 00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:38,160 You are a weak, weak, fucking excuse for a human, 174 00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:42,560 who was only out for what he can get, which is why 175 00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:45,720 you're not going to be able to say no to this, are you, Peter? 176 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:49,120 Cos you want it. You really fucking want it. 177 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:53,360 Don't you? I really do want it, yeah. Yeah. 178 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:59,000 I can make some calls. I...I do know a bloke. 179 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,560 I can make it happen quickly. That's nice. 180 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:11,080 It's really great that you're doing this for him. 181 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:16,200 SHE LAUGHS 182 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:16,200 Really shows you care. I do. 183 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:20,200 And, you know, one day, 184 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:22,720 that'll be like you two, like them. 185 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:32,720 Oh... Oh, OK. No, I... got that wrong. 186 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:35,600 I'll, um, get t'ball rolling. 187 00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:41,320 Fuck off. 188 00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:43,560 That's right, fuck off. 189 00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:46,600 Have a good day. You too. 190 00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:57,040 SHE INHALES, EXHALES 191 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:03,080 NARRATOR: This is a story about choices that define us. 192 00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:07,760 About how good people can do bad things. 193 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:13,160 But if you take anything away from this story of ours, 194 00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:19,080 let this be it - important things happen on benches. 195 00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:28,760 Oh! Afternoon. 196 00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:34,600 You all right? Yeah. Lovely day. Well, nice enough. 197 00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:36,040 Yeah, right. 198 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:51,960 You having a good day? Yeah. Yeah. I went to this place, erm, 199 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:54,360 The Shang Emperor, round the corner. 200 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:57,840 Yeah, I've heard of it. Yeah. 201 00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:00,240 The hours on the all-you-can-eat are a bit stingy, but I... 202 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:03,640 I'd check it out if I were you. I give it four Bens. 203 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:08,280 So my name's Ben. And I rank stuff out of five Bens. 204 00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:09,720 Just a little joke. 205 00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:10,960 HE LAUGHS 206 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:17,080 So tell me, what took away the last Ben? Paper napkins. Oh. 207 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:21,000 So what brings you here? Just waiting for something. 208 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,840 Yeah. Me too. Sort of. 209 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:29,680 Feel like I spend my whole life waiting for stuff. Oh, amen. 210 00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:33,280 Phone calls, pay cheques, people, taxis. 211 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:36,720 Oh, delivery men, appointments, trains. Yeah. 212 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:40,280 Internet speeds, people I'm waiting for, people I'm meeting. 213 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:43,800 The list goes on and on. It...It does, it really does. 214 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:46,200 It goes on and on and on. 215 00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:48,560 And Ariston! 216 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:52,240 And what? It's nothing, just silly. 217 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:04,760 Do you ever feel like you're just 218 00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:08,040 waiting around for stuff, but there are, like, other people, who, 219 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:10,520 you know, don't 220 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:12,040 wait around for things? 221 00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:17,120 Yes. 222 00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:20,120 What must that be like? To be that guy, to be the other guy. 223 00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:22,800 I've often wondered this. 224 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:25,640 Exhausting, I suppose. Oh, thing after thing. 225 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:29,360 Yeah, just...nonstop. 226 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:36,600 DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE 227 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:52,240 Right, I best be going. 228 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:53,880 Done waiting? Yep. 229 00:18:56,640 --> 00:19:00,160 Time to be that other guy for a change. 230 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,440 You take care of yourself. You too. 231 00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:08,600 Nice chap. 232 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:23,640 Hey, love. 233 00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:43,360 OK. Your mum is a brilliant woman, 234 00:19:43,360 --> 00:19:48,160 but she lives in a world without clocks. That's all. 235 00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:53,720 I didn't know it at the time. How could I? 236 00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:57,560 But the moment I took what was on that boat, I lost everything. 237 00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:00,240 My wife. Wife, wife, wife. 238 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:03,120 My daughter. Daughter, daughter, daughter. 239 00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:05,840 It's strange. Strange, strange, strange. 240 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:08,800 It felt like the happiest day of my life. 241 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:11,640 But the jaws of hell were about to open and swallow me, 242 00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:14,800 and all the people I loved, up. 243 00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:39,040 NARRATOR: As The Tailor's man was following Samuel's wife, 244 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:42,520 The Tailor was following his heart. 245 00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:53,320 I didn't think I'd see you again. 246 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:00,480 These are for you. 247 00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:03,160 Oh. 248 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:16,800 I wish to take you out. 249 00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:18,800 Dinner. Drinks. 250 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,280 Whatever it is your heart desires. 251 00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:26,880 No. Sorry. 252 00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:30,600 Pardon? 253 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:34,520 No. No. 254 00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:40,120 You are saying no to me? 255 00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:43,560 I am, love. Yeah. 256 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:48,800 You live in France. You speak French. You do French...things. 257 00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:52,280 Why start something when you know it's going to end any day soon? 258 00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:54,920 You said yourself you wanted to have new experiences 259 00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:57,400 to open up your world. 260 00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:00,880 You can't teach an old dog new tricks. 261 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:03,080 We learnt a few the other night. 262 00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:08,920 It's for the best. 263 00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:11,680 OK. I... 264 00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:14,920 I will leave. 265 00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:20,720 But, er, before I do, perhaps I could buy, er, 266 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:24,800 also some delicious pasty? Of course. 267 00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:30,320 Oh, no, no, no, no. On the house. 268 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:33,520 No, no. I will pay. I...I insist, uh? 269 00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:42,240 Oh, who's this? 270 00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:50,720 How much is it, please? 271 00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:53,600 £2. 272 00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:01,360 Thank you. Thanks. 273 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:11,920 NARRATOR: Janet had sat on that bench for what seemed like forever, 274 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:13,800 basking in the glow of a job well done 275 00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:17,720 and a life finally going to plan. Hello? Janet. And then... 276 00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:20,040 You need to meet me now. It's urgent. Samuel? 277 00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:23,560 Wha-what? What's wrong? Just come. Now. 278 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:25,080 All right, OK. Hang on. 279 00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:46,800 Are you fucking joking me? You said it were urgent. 280 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,680 You need to celebrate. 281 00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:51,440 You mean YOU need to celebrate. Yes. 282 00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:54,600 With you. What, you ain't got anyone else to celebrate with? 283 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,240 Who else in the world knows anything about this? 284 00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:00,840 I couldn't believe it. 285 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:04,800 We'd stolen a shipload of cocaine together and here he was, 286 00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:07,400 supping on a seafood tower! 287 00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:07,400 AUDIENCE CHUCKLE 288 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:09,480 But he was right. 289 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:14,480 Sometimes when you have a secret, it hurts to keep it in. 290 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:17,640 And I'm a sucker for a langoustine. 291 00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:19,920 Chuck us a prawn, then. Look. 292 00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:24,160 Samuel Wells, welcome to the 21st century. 293 00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:27,720 Right, but what about, you know, the gambling and temptation 294 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,040 and all that? It's fine. 295 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:31,920 I'm fine. 296 00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:34,320 Who cares? I'm rich! 297 00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:36,480 I'm rich! I'm rich! 298 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:38,240 I can shower in seafood! 299 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,440 THEY LAUGH 300 00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:45,840 Samuel! 301 00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:49,280 Hi. Darling! Hi. Hi. 302 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:52,160 What are you doing here? I was just walking past. OK. 303 00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:55,920 Erm, cos Anya said you'd been out for ages. She was worried about you. 304 00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:59,760 Yeah, I haven't looked at my phone. I was shopping, had a long walk. 305 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:03,000 Mm-hm. I explored while... OK. ..you were here with, erm...? 306 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,840 Oh, right, sorry! This is Sally. 307 00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:10,200 Yeah, I am Sally. 308 00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:13,720 Yeah, Sally and I worked together, erm, oh, years ago, years ago, 309 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,000 couple of cases, er, then Sally moved back up here. 310 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,240 Actually, it was Sally who first got me 311 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,560 thinking about this place in the first place. 312 00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:24,440 Yeah. Hiya. Hi. Great to meet you. Yeah. 313 00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:28,600 So, erm, how, how's the house? 314 00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:32,840 You should come round for dinner, tonight. See for yourself. 315 00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:34,440 Ah! 316 00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:37,480 That's a great idea. Right. 317 00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:43,800 NARRATOR: Money can buy you many things. 318 00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:49,680 But escaping an unwanted invitation for dinner 319 00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:52,200 is not one of those things. 320 00:25:58,000 --> 00:25:59,200 I didn't think you'd come. 321 00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:02,120 I didn't want your wife asking questions about who I was. 322 00:26:02,120 --> 00:26:04,120 And I'm really fucking hungry. 323 00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:06,720 Let's make it quick. 324 00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:11,960 Right, this is Anya. Anya, this is Sally. 325 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:13,080 Hiya. 326 00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:17,520 Right, she says she's sorry she can't join us for dinner, 327 00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:21,600 she just doesn't want to. That's rude. Fair enough. 328 00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:23,280 See ya. 329 00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:26,240 Hi. Oh, hiya! Yeah, I'm really sorry about the mess. 330 00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:30,360 We're still unpacking. Er, let me get you a drink. What is this? 331 00:26:30,360 --> 00:26:35,200 Oh, that...is a 3D printed model of Samuel's head. 332 00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:39,760 He's a huge Bowie fan, and his friends had it made for his 50th. 333 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:43,000 That's weird. Yeah, he has some weird friends. 334 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:46,320 Can we please eat? I have some very high-end ingredients. 335 00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:51,400 Where do you want me? Just over here is fine. 336 00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:55,320 Crikey. Eh? Oh, yeah, sorry, this, er... 337 00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:57,320 Glasses got broken in the move. 338 00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:00,640 No, no, I don't... I-I-I mean, lobster. 339 00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:02,560 I don't think I've had lobster before. 340 00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:05,120 Oh, I thought you legal types were always having fancy dinners. 341 00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:21,640 LOUD SNAPPING 342 00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:26,280 Oh, yeah, er, 343 00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:30,640 another nice surprise waiting for us in this delightful new house. 344 00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:34,040 Lobster and mice? Now it's a fucking party. Oh! 345 00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:37,200 Please, I'm all right. Yeah. 346 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,880 ..And we'd been waiting for about eight hours for this jury, 347 00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:54,880 and, erm... 348 00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:54,880 SAMUEL LAUGHS 349 00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:57,880 ..Sally turns to me - and by this time we were so bored - 350 00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:00,640 and she asks this question. So... 351 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:06,040 She says, "If you, if you came across the world's greatest treasure 352 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:07,760 "and no-one was watching..." 353 00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:11,440 "..would you take it?" 354 00:28:13,360 --> 00:28:15,360 What a funny question. 355 00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:16,720 Yeah, I'm funny like that. 356 00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,880 I'm always asking fucking weird questions. Right. 357 00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:22,120 And as soon as she asked that question, I was like, 358 00:28:22,120 --> 00:28:24,760 "Yeah, we could be friends." Mmm. 359 00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:30,000 Well, you said you would take all the treasure. 360 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,800 Right? Without blinking. 361 00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:35,040 In fact, I think he answered before I finished the question. 362 00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:36,520 What would you do? 363 00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:40,720 Depends. What on? 364 00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:42,160 On how much I needed it. 365 00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:45,400 Oh, that's a cop-out. 366 00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:45,400 SHE LAUGHS 367 00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:46,880 BANGS TABLE 368 00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:48,400 Flourless cake! 369 00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:54,200 So I was thinking that, erm, tomorrow we should, er, 370 00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:57,520 go back to the storage unit and divide up the money. OK. 371 00:28:57,520 --> 00:29:00,760 Is ten OK? Cos I've got to do something first. 372 00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:03,120 Ten's perfect. 373 00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:04,880 She's lovely. 374 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:07,480 Believe me, I know. 375 00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:10,760 So's my daughter, if somewhat, you know, antisocial. 376 00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:12,240 LOUD BANG 377 00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:12,240 Argh! 378 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:18,360 Camilla? 379 00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:22,560 Oh, God, I'm such an idiot! 380 00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:25,840 It's OK. It's no good without flour anyway. 381 00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:33,560 No, I heard 'em say they sold it already. 382 00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:35,880 But, listen, I also know where they're going to be meeting 383 00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:38,240 to divide the money up. 384 00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:40,160 Well, no. 385 00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:43,080 No, because you told me to be less conspicuous. 386 00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:45,000 And I went away and I looked that word up. 387 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:47,600 Four dead bodies is pretty fucking conspicuous to me. 388 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:52,720 What? Tomorrow at ten. 389 00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:57,760 Well, I'm going to be un-conspicuous, ain't I? 390 00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:21,400 Hiya. Morning. 391 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:22,760 Come here. 392 00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:28,360 That were very tight. 393 00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:33,640 What are we doing here? I thought I'd, er, buy you a new tuba. 394 00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:36,840 Cos you said the one that you borrowed from school was a little bit... Yeah, the, er, 395 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:42,480 the mouthpiece keeps giving me a rash, which I'm pretty sure is herpes. Bleurgh! 396 00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:45,080 But you can't afford this. What's going on? 397 00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:51,200 Things are changing. Maybe, I don't know, maybe I'm due some good luck for once. 398 00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:56,280 Hey, listen, I, erm, I had a word with your dad and, er, well, he's, 399 00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:58,480 he said, we... 400 00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:00,280 we-we agreed that... 401 00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:04,280 ..I'm going to become your legal guardian. 402 00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:06,320 If that's OK with you? 403 00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:12,840 Mum... 404 00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:16,000 Come on. 405 00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:27,160 PLAYS TUBA 406 00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:48,360 Janet. Hiya, I'm so sorry I'm late. I'm already inside. 407 00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:49,440 Oh, OK. 408 00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:06,040 SHE GASPS Sorry, I couldn't say anything. 409 00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:10,120 Now take me to the money. Move. 410 00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:12,080 Who are you? Move! 411 00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:22,200 Oh, shit. 412 00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:30,360 What have you done? 413 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:33,680 Where's the money? I... 414 00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:38,560 I... It wasn't me. Where is it? 415 00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:40,560 Why would you assume it was me?! 416 00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:43,440 Well, where is it? Just calm down. Calm down?! 417 00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:47,200 Are you fucking telling me to calm down?! All right, then THINK! My life's on the line here, too. 418 00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:50,880 Why would I risk that? I don't know, why did you gamble your life savings away? Why did you quit your job? 419 00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:52,640 I didn't quit my job, I was struck off, OK? 420 00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:56,200 Well, you were wondering why I can't trust you! Shut up! Enough! 421 00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:58,640 Now let me get this straight. 422 00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:01,040 Are you seriously telling me that you genuinely, 423 00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:03,680 I mean genuinely, don't know where that money is? Yes. 424 00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:06,960 We've got no idea. I'm going to ask you one more time. 425 00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:08,920 And I'm going to ask you to promise on your life. 426 00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:11,120 And I fucking mean that literally. No! 427 00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:13,520 Cos you saw the news, yeah? What? 428 00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:17,000 You've seen what I'm prepared to do. 429 00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:19,880 Go through a whole police station to get to you two. 430 00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:21,360 I knew it! 431 00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:25,320 I promise you, I swear to God, 432 00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:27,840 we do not know anything about where that's gone. 433 00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:30,640 Promise. 434 00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:33,680 We don't know anything about it. 435 00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:40,760 OK, then. Let's go. 436 00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:54,520 Hiya. 437 00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:58,240 We need to look at the, er, CCTV in the corridor. 438 00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:01,680 You what? Our unit got broken into. Number 13. 439 00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:05,960 That's a police matter, that is. All sorts of forms and so on, 440 00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:08,920 I can't be doing that... We can do without all that hassle. 441 00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:10,120 Right, love? 442 00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:12,520 I mean, life's too short, innit? For all that old bollocks. 443 00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:17,280 Yeah. Yeah, sure. 444 00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:20,000 Course. Erm... 445 00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:22,640 Corridor outside 13? Yeah. 446 00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:26,640 Yeah, when? We were last there about 10am yesterday. 447 00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:37,120 Listen, I just want to say, I really appreciate this. 448 00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:41,920 I'm going to make sure you get five stars on the old, y'know? 449 00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:47,160 I want to give it five Guys. You see, that's my name. Guy. 450 00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:49,720 And I rate everything in Guys now. 451 00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:53,280 "Staff here are so professional. 452 00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:58,240 "I mean, really went that extra mile, service-wise." 453 00:34:58,240 --> 00:34:59,320 Hey, I've got an idea. 454 00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:01,800 You know I could even put your name in the review. 455 00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:06,200 What is your name, love? 456 00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:09,360 Belinda. Oh, Belinda. Yeah. 457 00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:11,400 Beautiful name. There. 458 00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:12,600 Go back. 459 00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:24,400 Fuck. 460 00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:26,240 You know him? Oh, unfortunately. 461 00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:30,000 Sorry, can you go forwards? 462 00:35:33,240 --> 00:35:35,240 It looks like it just stops. 463 00:35:35,240 --> 00:35:37,640 How long after that man left? Er, let's see. 464 00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:41,960 He comes in at 9pm last night, camera cuts out 20 minutes later, 465 00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:44,520 maybe, and then it's back on an hour after. 466 00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:48,000 Slimy, sneaky, rat-faced CUNT! 467 00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,240 Sorry, Belinda. Sorry. 468 00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:53,560 You sure he's going to be there? 469 00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:56,600 It's a match day. He'll be there. Yeah, you better hope so. 470 00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:02,160 Your boss... 471 00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:05,520 does he know about us yet? Well, he knows I found you. 472 00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:10,280 So, he knows our names? Nah. 473 00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:12,200 He only knows I'm on it. 474 00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:14,400 And I'm not going to bother him until I get the cash. 475 00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:19,360 Because The Tailor likes to be given solutions. Not problems. 476 00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:22,120 The Tailor? Doesn't he have a real name? 477 00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:24,560 What do you care what his fucking name is? I was, er, 478 00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:27,440 I was just curious, I suppose. About the man we stole from. 479 00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:29,440 Why are you still talking?! 480 00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:34,360 Oh, I keep meaning to go there. 481 00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:38,320 Sorry? The old Shang Emperor. I got a voucher an' all, 482 00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:40,600 I keep meaning to go, but work keeps getting in the way, 483 00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:45,480 which is shit, cos I fucking love a nice big plate of ho fun. Mm-hm. 484 00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:49,200 You know them noodles, you know? You know, the big, fat, tasty ones? 485 00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:54,400 I love 'em. Yeah, I've heard of them. You like noodles? 486 00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:58,120 Er, yeah, I do. I do quite like noodles. 487 00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:03,000 It's like the Chinese saw pasta and thought, "Hold my beer," y'know? 488 00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:04,760 HE LAUGHS 489 00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:05,960 I love 'em. 490 00:37:09,360 --> 00:37:11,440 Well, I thought you wanted to talk? 491 00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:20,520 Hiya, Mummy! Hiya, kid. 492 00:37:21,720 --> 00:37:24,600 How was the doctor? Usual song and dance. 493 00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:27,320 You tell him you're not shitting properly and then they want you 494 00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:32,160 to go for a full scale MOT, which makes you... Oh. 495 00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:36,160 What you been playing at? 496 00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:39,520 If you don't put the product out no-one can buy it. I did. 497 00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:42,680 It's all sold out. You what? Every single thing. Sold out. 498 00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:44,160 To, uh... 499 00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:48,040 ..Monsieur Frenchington. 500 00:37:49,240 --> 00:37:53,720 So, you and him, is it, is it serious? 501 00:37:53,720 --> 00:37:56,240 None of your beeswax. 502 00:37:56,240 --> 00:38:00,160 If he's going to be my new Daddy, it actually is my beeswax, cos you... 503 00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:01,360 All right. 504 00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:09,520 I am not going to jump back into bed with you 505 00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:13,280 just cos you got a few quid. Thank God, no, of course not. 506 00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:19,160 You see, all I wished was to get your attention. 507 00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:20,600 And, er... 508 00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:26,680 Mm! What a delicious way to do it. 509 00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:29,040 I've said everything that needs saying. 510 00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:35,080 NARRATOR: But The Tailor wasn't used to hearing the word no. 511 00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:36,960 You made yourself clear, yes. 512 00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:40,560 But you didn't give me a chance to...to respond. 513 00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:44,840 It is true that, er, I'm just a visitor here. 514 00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:48,200 But what if... What if I was not? 515 00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:51,200 Oh, bloody hell. We had sex once. 516 00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:54,000 Twice. One and a half. 517 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:57,760 Agreed. 518 00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:00,520 And you're going to move here? There's words for that. 519 00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:03,480 I said no such thing. Only that, er... 520 00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:07,840 ..I'm...I'm open to...to change, 521 00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:10,480 to possibility. 522 00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:13,160 I ask simply that you do the same. 523 00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:16,000 We're not just in different worlds, love. 524 00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:21,160 We're in two difference galaxies. Universes, even. 525 00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:27,040 If it's possible to have more than one universe, that is. 526 00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:39,360 You have my number. 527 00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:46,240 You seem awfully confident. 528 00:39:46,240 --> 00:39:49,080 I know how this ends. 529 00:40:08,240 --> 00:40:11,040 Oh, no, no, no. What's he doing here? What? 530 00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:16,960 Is that... Is that your son? I can't do this while he's here. 531 00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:19,480 I'll be putting a target right on his back. 532 00:40:20,720 --> 00:40:23,560 I hate to tell you this, Janet, but everyone we've ever loved 533 00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:25,440 is already in danger. 534 00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:26,760 KNOCKING 535 00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:39,960 We can't all go over. Well, just.. 536 00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:42,040 Just don't say anything, please. 537 00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:50,080 CHEERING 538 00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:57,360 Dad, Mum wants to talk to you. 539 00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:08,920 W-W-What... What's going on? Where's the money? 540 00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:12,000 You, you gave that to me, we had a deal. 541 00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:15,280 We know you went to the storage unit. How'd you find it? Did you follow me? 542 00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:19,120 I don't know what you're on about. You're literally on camera 543 00:41:19,120 --> 00:41:21,000 at 9:00 last night and then you walk away 544 00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:25,960 and half an hour later, the CCTV just conveniently stops. 545 00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:27,240 You paid him, didn't you? 546 00:41:27,240 --> 00:41:31,080 I'd think very carefully about what you say next, mate. 547 00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:33,880 Because I work for the man that that money belongs to. 548 00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:39,560 I got...suspicious 549 00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:44,400 when you gave me that money and-and, er, so... 550 00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:47,360 ..I went onto-onto-onto your, onto online banking and I, 551 00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:51,960 er, saw the payment for the storage unit. And I-I-I went and had a look 552 00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:53,560 and I saw all the... 553 00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:59,160 ..all the padlocks and, er, and the camera and I thought, "No, thanks." 554 00:41:59,160 --> 00:42:01,880 So what you're saying, it's just bad luck the CCTV just cuts out, 555 00:42:01,880 --> 00:42:03,480 is that it? Janet, please. 556 00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:06,520 I am not lying. 557 00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:08,560 Hi, Mum. 558 00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:14,120 Al, Alan! Mate, come, come here. What's that app, with the, erm... 559 00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:17,720 For the doorbell and the camera? The smart bell? 560 00:42:17,720 --> 00:42:19,400 Smart bell, yeah. 561 00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:22,320 Can, can, can you have a look, there? Can you check it for me? 562 00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:27,080 Can you show these lovely people what time I got back last night? 563 00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:32,200 What's this about? Just..bloody do it. 564 00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:34,360 Quickly, please, now. 565 00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:40,920 Ha-ha! 9:15! See? 566 00:42:40,920 --> 00:42:42,960 See? 567 00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:47,080 Did, did I go, did I go anywhere after? No. 568 00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:50,520 Right, you, you can, you can, you can go now. Not till you tell me 569 00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:53,840 what's going on. It's nowt to do with you, just piss off! 570 00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:59,320 Mum? But I'm not your mum, am I? She had the good sense to fuck off 571 00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:03,840 before I did, so just jog on, you're not wanted. Go! Please! 572 00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:20,000 If I find out you're lying, I will come back here and take you apart. 573 00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:24,960 Now go. 574 00:43:39,720 --> 00:43:41,360 Not your day, is it? 575 00:43:57,360 --> 00:43:59,520 Where are we going? 576 00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:01,520 Where do you think? 577 00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:03,560 You're taking us to The Tailor? 578 00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:14,080 Think, Samuel. Your life depends upon it. 579 00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:18,480 Think, Janet! Your life also depends upon it! 580 00:44:18,480 --> 00:44:20,720 BOTH: Who took the money?! 581 00:44:20,720 --> 00:44:22,880 Come on. Come on. There must be someone. 582 00:44:22,880 --> 00:44:25,000 There must be someone who knows... 583 00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:30,400 Huh, er, the, the bloke, who, erm, the bloke, 584 00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:32,560 the bloke from the storage, the storage place. 585 00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:35,240 He weren't, he weren't there today. Right. Right, right, er, 586 00:44:35,240 --> 00:44:37,920 and he would've had access... Yeah. ..to those cameras so, erm... 587 00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:40,000 What was his... 588 00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:42,040 Ha...Harry...Henry... 589 00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:44,720 Harold! Harold's, Harold's life-hacks! Right. 590 00:44:44,720 --> 00:44:46,960 Yeah. He must... Look, look him up. 591 00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:50,760 He works at the storage facility. He sees all the comings and goings, 592 00:44:50,760 --> 00:44:55,960 like some all-seeing spider, and we are flies in his web. 593 00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:58,400 He saw what we put in that unit. 594 00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:00,840 Are you sure? 595 00:45:00,840 --> 00:45:04,840 We're grasping at straws because straws are all we have! 596 00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:08,640 Oh, erm, there's, er, there's, there's an address for, for, 597 00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:13,000 for fan-mail on his page. It's, it's 70 more... 74 Craigmin Road. 598 00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:15,560 74 Craigmin Road. 74. We have to go to 74... Please. 599 00:45:15,560 --> 00:45:19,520 ..Craigmin Road, cos that's where the man who stole the money lives. Do I look like I work for you? 600 00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:22,960 Sh... Shouldn't we at least try? 601 00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:26,160 I thought you said that your boss liked being given solutions not, 602 00:45:26,160 --> 00:45:28,080 not problems, right? 603 00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:45,840 Well, go on. 604 00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:53,960 DOORBELL CHIMES 605 00:45:58,720 --> 00:46:01,360 I think you've taken something that doesn't belong to you. No. 606 00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:02,800 You need... No, no, no... 607 00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:10,000 Where's the money? 608 00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:13,800 It's under me bed. I ain't spent none of it. 609 00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:16,160 You two were always in and out, and you walked right past me 610 00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:18,560 like I was nothing, but I notice, see? 611 00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:23,040 I watch and I wait and I see. Mr Invisible over here. 612 00:46:23,040 --> 00:46:26,240 GUNSHOT, SHRIEKING AND GASPING 613 00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:31,680 Why? Why? You didn't have to do that! 614 00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:35,920 We don't have to do anything. 615 00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:37,840 But we do it anyway, don't we? 616 00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:40,720 Right, I'm going to grab the cash 617 00:46:40,720 --> 00:46:43,120 and then we're going to get the fuck out of here. 618 00:46:48,160 --> 00:46:50,200 NARRATOR: They'd found the money 619 00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:53,480 but a lone wolf was still trying to find them. 620 00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:11,160 Show yourself. 621 00:47:44,840 --> 00:47:47,360 Hello. Hi. Hiya. 622 00:47:49,720 --> 00:47:52,760 You must be The Tailor. 623 00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:55,040 We have... We have your money. 624 00:47:59,880 --> 00:48:02,320 My father was a tailor 625 00:48:02,320 --> 00:48:04,800 and his father before him. It's in my blood. 626 00:48:06,080 --> 00:48:12,240 I don't need to do it and, er, yet still I...I cannot help myself. 627 00:48:12,240 --> 00:48:16,480 One day a week, I find my steps drawn to the old shop. 628 00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:20,280 Tell me... 629 00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:25,920 ..what were the...the two of you 630 00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:29,040 before you decided to become thieves? 631 00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:31,960 Some of the money's gone. 632 00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:34,840 Half a million. But we can get it back for you. 633 00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:37,080 If you give us some time, we can... 634 00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:42,000 How much did you receive for your first transaction? 635 00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:43,440 Five million. 636 00:48:46,200 --> 00:48:48,000 HE CHUCKLES 637 00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:52,120 I'm sorry. I should... I shouldn't laugh. 638 00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:55,400 I mean, well, things have been, er, 639 00:48:55,400 --> 00:48:58,040 strange since I arrived here. 640 00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:03,160 The product on that boat 641 00:49:03,160 --> 00:49:05,600 should fetch twice the amount you were paid. 642 00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:09,480 We...we didn't... Fuck. We didn't know that. 643 00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:13,680 We didn't think... No. No, you... 644 00:49:13,680 --> 00:49:16,600 you didn't think, huh? Hmm. 645 00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:20,480 You didn't think about any of this, huh? 646 00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:25,240 Wait. 647 00:49:28,040 --> 00:49:29,760 HE CLEARS HIS THROAT 648 00:49:32,840 --> 00:49:36,440 Oh, I thought I felt it buzz. 649 00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:38,400 You know that, er, 650 00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:43,200 sometimes you think a text has come and then, er... 651 00:49:44,960 --> 00:49:48,000 Well, perhaps...I'm wrong. 652 00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:51,400 Maybe she's right. Maybe, er... 653 00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:55,000 ..our worlds are too different. 654 00:49:56,880 --> 00:49:58,320 Anyway, kill them. 655 00:49:58,320 --> 00:50:01,800 No, no! Please, please! Please, I've got a son! 656 00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:03,120 I have! 657 00:50:03,120 --> 00:50:06,120 We'll fix this, I promise. We'll find a way to get you your money. 658 00:50:06,120 --> 00:50:09,720 Cinq million? Cinq million? You're a comic? 659 00:50:09,720 --> 00:50:12,800 No! No, no, no, no! The bloke who we sold the stuff to, 660 00:50:12,800 --> 00:50:15,560 we'll, I will get it back. We'll find... Please, just give us a... 661 00:50:15,560 --> 00:50:20,480 Oh! Stop begging, it's embarrassing for everyone. 662 00:50:20,480 --> 00:50:22,320 This is just business. 663 00:50:20,480 --> 00:50:22,320 COCKS GUN 664 00:50:22,320 --> 00:50:23,640 No! A day, a day. 665 00:50:23,640 --> 00:50:27,920 Just give us a day. What... How, how could it hurt? 666 00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:32,440 Let us at least try. How could it hurt to just see what happens? 667 00:50:38,520 --> 00:50:41,280 Those are the words I used with Patricia. 668 00:50:41,280 --> 00:50:44,640 "Let us see where this goes," I asked her. 669 00:50:46,280 --> 00:50:49,680 I have never been so vulnerable, so naked, 670 00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:56,480 and still this taunts me with the loudest silence I have known, no? 671 00:51:03,720 --> 00:51:05,440 You are from here, yes? 672 00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:11,960 Yeah. You know how these women in the North think? 673 00:51:11,960 --> 00:51:15,160 Er, I... I, uh... There is a woman. 674 00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:21,320 Do... Do I give up? Do I continue? 675 00:51:23,160 --> 00:51:24,880 Do I keep pushing forward? 676 00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:27,560 I... It's... Tell, tell me about her. What happened? 677 00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:30,640 Cos, yeah, just like you said, I am, I am a northern woman, 678 00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:34,680 I...I know how we think. 679 00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:34,680 HE LAUGHS 680 00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:37,960 This is how foolish I have become. Fuck! 681 00:51:39,720 --> 00:51:43,000 Usually I would take my time. 682 00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:45,520 Prolong the moment, uh? 683 00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:48,240 But today is your luckiest one. 684 00:51:48,240 --> 00:51:50,280 PHONE BUZZES 685 00:51:51,680 --> 00:51:53,440 Wait. 686 00:51:55,760 --> 00:51:59,360 She wants to meet me for a date. 687 00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:02,920 She says, er... What does this mean? 688 00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:06,720 "Let's give it a whirl." 689 00:52:06,720 --> 00:52:08,200 What? 690 00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:12,760 She wants to spin with me? No, it's just, it's, it's a phrase. 691 00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:14,680 It's an idiom. 692 00:52:14,680 --> 00:52:19,320 It's, erm, like, let's give it a go. Let's, let's give something a try. 693 00:52:19,320 --> 00:52:21,560 HE LAUGHS 694 00:52:23,960 --> 00:52:27,040 "Give it a whirl." Ha-ha! 695 00:52:27,040 --> 00:52:30,120 Oh, yes, Pat. Yes. 696 00:52:30,120 --> 00:52:34,320 Let's... Let's give it... Let's give it a whirl. 697 00:52:34,320 --> 00:52:35,360 GUNSHOT 698 00:52:37,040 --> 00:52:41,320 HE SPEAKS FRENCH 699 00:52:41,320 --> 00:52:42,360 Wow! 700 00:52:44,400 --> 00:52:46,440 What a fucking roller-coaster. 701 00:52:48,440 --> 00:52:53,440 It seems, er, I'll be here longer than planned. 702 00:52:53,440 --> 00:52:56,240 Go on. Take it. Have another day. 703 00:52:56,240 --> 00:52:59,000 24 hours. Guy will keep an eye on you. 704 00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:02,760 And know this - 705 00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:06,440 I'm rooting for you, hey? 706 00:53:06,440 --> 00:53:10,160 I hope you find the money, huh? 707 00:53:10,160 --> 00:53:13,120 We all get what it is that we want. 708 00:53:13,120 --> 00:53:14,360 Yeah? 709 00:53:14,360 --> 00:53:17,440 Really "give it a whirl," she says, uh? 710 00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:20,400 OK... Come on, let's go. 711 00:53:24,840 --> 00:53:26,000 Wait! 712 00:53:31,480 --> 00:53:33,240 There is one more thing. 713 00:53:45,800 --> 00:53:47,560 WHISPERS: What do I say to her? 714 00:53:49,120 --> 00:53:51,120 NARRATOR: How quickly things change. 715 00:53:51,120 --> 00:53:56,080 How life can be saved by one fortuitously timed text message. 716 00:53:56,080 --> 00:53:58,920 SINGING IN FRENCH 717 00:54:03,400 --> 00:54:05,480 Life isn't always simple, though. 718 00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:09,880 Things aren't always black and white. 719 00:54:09,880 --> 00:54:12,120 THEY SING IN FRENCH 720 00:54:30,720 --> 00:54:33,800 HORN TOOTS 721 00:54:33,800 --> 00:54:34,840 TYRES SCREECH 722 00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:50,800 IN FRENCH: