1
00:03:55,161 --> 00:03:57,294
Come on.

2
00:03:57,330 --> 00:03:59,468
Where are you?

3
00:04:19,991 --> 00:04:22,184
Oh, good cat.

4
00:04:27,062 --> 00:04:28,762
Here we go.

5
00:04:28,797 --> 00:04:30,968
Mildred,
do you want something to eat?

6
00:04:31,003 --> 00:04:33,899
Mum, be quiet.

7
00:04:39,043 --> 00:04:40,903
What, I can't hear you?

8
00:04:40,938 --> 00:04:42,547
Can you make me some toast?

9
00:04:42,582 --> 00:04:43,840
Sure.

10
00:04:43,875 --> 00:04:45,094
And I know
just how you like them.

11
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,410
Razor-sharp triangles,
no crusts?

12
00:04:46,446 --> 00:04:47,946
Yeah, that's right.

13
00:04:50,450 --> 00:04:51,818
One more thing, Mildred.

14
00:04:51,853 --> 00:04:53,990
What? I'm in
the middle of something here.

15
00:04:54,025 --> 00:04:55,727
What are the magic words?

16
00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:56,919
Please.

17
00:04:56,955 --> 00:04:58,491
Well, that's<i> a</i> magic word,
singular.

18
00:04:58,527 --> 00:05:00,123
I want<i> the</i> magic words,<i> plural.</i>

19
00:05:01,462 --> 00:05:04,133
Mum, I'm trying to catch Jonesie

20
00:05:04,169 --> 00:05:05,967
in an intricate home-made trap.

21
00:05:06,003 --> 00:05:07,302
Can this wait?

22
00:05:07,338 --> 00:05:09,132
Sorry, why in the name
of buggery

23
00:05:09,168 --> 00:05:10,986
are you trying to catch
our poor, sweet, innocent cat?

24
00:05:11,010 --> 00:05:13,801
- Practice.
- For?

25
00:05:13,837 --> 00:05:15,345
For the<i> Panthera Pardus</i>

26
00:05:15,380 --> 00:05:17,379
that's been haunting
our wilderness, of late.

27
00:05:17,414 --> 00:05:19,345
You may know him
by his nom de plume,

28
00:05:19,380 --> 00:05:21,248
The Canterbury Panther.

29
00:05:21,284 --> 00:05:23,881
Panthera Pardus, nom de...

30
00:05:23,916 --> 00:05:25,233
- Nom de plume.
- Nom de plume.

31
00:05:25,257 --> 00:05:26,627
You sure do know
a crap ton of words,

32
00:05:26,651 --> 00:05:27,950
don't you, my girl?

33
00:05:27,985 --> 00:05:30,426
I'm a card-carrying
bookworm, so...

34
00:05:30,461 --> 00:05:33,455
Yes, I sure do know
a crap ton of words.

35
00:05:33,490 --> 00:05:34,933
Mmm...

36
00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:36,996
But do you know the magic words?

37
00:05:37,032 --> 00:05:39,036
Mum!

38
00:05:39,071 --> 00:05:40,502
Oh, come on, just say them,

39
00:05:40,537 --> 00:05:42,137
and I'll go and get
your toast triangles.

40
00:05:43,876 --> 00:05:46,741
I... love... you.

41
00:05:49,715 --> 00:05:50,910
Go on...

42
00:05:52,148 --> 00:05:55,510
With... all...

43
00:05:55,545 --> 00:05:56,817
of my...

44
00:05:57,954 --> 00:05:59,281
heart.

45
00:06:01,092 --> 00:06:02,552
Was that so difficult?

46
00:06:02,588 --> 00:06:04,596
Yes, actually, yes.

47
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:06,959
It was.

48
00:06:12,406 --> 00:06:14,334
Ha!

49
00:06:14,369 --> 00:06:16,265
Yes, there we go, puss.

50
00:06:18,008 --> 00:06:19,906
That's it.

51
00:06:21,406 --> 00:06:23,078
Yes.

52
00:06:23,113 --> 00:06:24,647
Come on, Jonesie.

53
00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:31,753
And...

54
00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:35,925
Dinner is served.

55
00:06:40,964 --> 00:06:42,225
Ah!

56
00:06:44,730 --> 00:06:46,504
Jonesie?

57
00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:49,168
Psh.

58
00:06:49,203 --> 00:06:50,508
Great!

59
00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:53,676
Mum?

60
00:06:57,274 --> 00:07:01,384
If you sneak up on me again,
I will pee myself.

61
00:07:01,419 --> 00:07:04,753
And you're gonna
have to clean it up.

62
00:07:15,196 --> 00:07:16,226
Mum?

63
00:07:27,406 --> 00:07:28,447
Mum?

64
00:07:29,842 --> 00:07:32,308
Mum!

65
00:07:35,281 --> 00:07:39,150
I have some good news,
and I have some bad news.

66
00:07:40,857 --> 00:07:43,918
The bad news is you're gonna
need a new toaster.

67
00:07:43,953 --> 00:07:45,255
Okay, that one's kaput.

68
00:07:46,356 --> 00:07:48,390
The good news is
you're not gonna need a new mum.

69
00:07:49,901 --> 00:07:51,366
Yay.

70
00:07:51,401 --> 00:07:53,603
Hey, your toaster exploded.

71
00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:55,150
I don't know what the odds
are of that happening.

72
00:07:55,174 --> 00:07:57,341
But you know the button you push

73
00:07:57,376 --> 00:07:59,671
when you start
the toasting process?

74
00:07:59,706 --> 00:08:01,007
Well, that button was faulty.

75
00:08:02,381 --> 00:08:03,686
And it gave your mum
quite the shock,

76
00:08:03,710 --> 00:08:06,111
her body went all... jelly-like,

77
00:08:06,147 --> 00:08:08,614
and she flew backwards,
and then her head hit the bench,

78
00:08:08,649 --> 00:08:10,051
and then she fell into a coma.

79
00:08:10,086 --> 00:08:11,421
A coma?

80
00:08:11,456 --> 00:08:12,915
Yeah, well, she's not dead.

81
00:08:12,950 --> 00:08:14,490
Okay, so don't worry about that.

82
00:08:14,525 --> 00:08:16,461
But she's not
fully alive, either.

83
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,722
She's in this wonderful
dreamlike netherworld.

84
00:08:18,757 --> 00:08:20,459
I know what a coma is.

85
00:08:20,494 --> 00:08:22,298
Will she be okay?

86
00:08:22,334 --> 00:08:23,473
Well, you listen
to me carefully,

87
00:08:23,497 --> 00:08:24,701
okay, Mildred?

88
00:08:26,331 --> 00:08:28,573
I'm not talking to you
as a doctor would to a child.

89
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:31,840
Alright?
I'm talking this soul...

90
00:08:32,878 --> 00:08:34,475
to soul.

91
00:08:34,510 --> 00:08:36,344
Will she be okay, yes or no?

92
00:08:36,379 --> 00:08:39,042
Well ye... Yes.

93
00:08:39,078 --> 00:08:40,463
But she has what's called
a brain bleed.

94
00:08:40,487 --> 00:08:42,064
Okay? So we're gonna need
to keep her in here

95
00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:43,549
for at least a week,

96
00:08:43,584 --> 00:08:44,613
until she stabilizes.

97
00:08:44,648 --> 00:08:45,689
A week?

98
00:08:47,187 --> 00:08:49,720
No... She was supposed
to take me camping tomorrow.

99
00:08:49,755 --> 00:08:51,222
I had it all worked out.

100
00:08:51,258 --> 00:08:53,925
She<i> finally</i> took some time
off work. She promised.

101
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:55,362
The camping's gonna
have to wait,

102
00:08:55,398 --> 00:08:56,958
I'm afraid, Mildred.

103
00:08:56,993 --> 00:08:59,036
But first things first.

104
00:08:59,071 --> 00:09:00,429
Where's your dad?

105
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:06,308
Hello.

106
00:09:06,343 --> 00:09:08,377
I'm Strawn. Strawn Wise.

107
00:09:08,412 --> 00:09:10,043
Mildred's biological father.

108
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:13,277
The magician.

109
00:09:14,415 --> 00:09:15,613
Illusionist.

110
00:09:15,648 --> 00:09:17,418
Magician sounds...

111
00:09:17,453 --> 00:09:18,623
cheap.

112
00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:33,462
- Can I come in?
- Can I see some ID?

113
00:09:34,633 --> 00:09:36,166
ID?

114
00:09:36,202 --> 00:09:38,500
Yeah. It stands
for Identification Document.

115
00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:42,170
I would love to show you
some ID, but there's a problem.

116
00:09:42,205 --> 00:09:45,713
You see,<i> you</i> actually have it.

117
00:09:45,749 --> 00:09:47,245
<i>- I</i> have it?
- That's right.

118
00:09:48,451 --> 00:09:49,847
What'd ya mean, mate?

119
00:09:49,882 --> 00:09:51,032
You have my ID.

120
00:09:51,056 --> 00:09:52,318
I do? Where?

121
00:09:52,353 --> 00:09:54,989
Just...

122
00:10:01,826 --> 00:10:03,295
I have to say.

123
00:10:03,330 --> 00:10:06,501
Normally, I find magicians
skin-crawlingly embarrassing,

124
00:10:06,536 --> 00:10:07,816
but you're actually half decent.

125
00:10:09,438 --> 00:10:10,609
Access granted.

126
00:10:15,845 --> 00:10:18,116
Oh, look, mate,
just so you know,

127
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:19,450
I didn't hug the girl.

128
00:10:19,485 --> 00:10:21,285
Even though Lord knows
she needs one.

129
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:22,945
I'm sorry, what?

130
00:10:22,980 --> 00:10:24,079
Your daughter.

131
00:10:24,114 --> 00:10:26,153
I specifically didn't hug her.

132
00:10:26,189 --> 00:10:27,789
Why?

133
00:10:27,824 --> 00:10:30,557
I've heard
so many horror stories, okay?

134
00:10:30,592 --> 00:10:32,126
You can't be too careful

135
00:10:32,161 --> 00:10:33,835
with other people's kids these
days... Touching them and...

136
00:10:33,859 --> 00:10:36,200
Even hugs are a no-go.

137
00:10:36,235 --> 00:10:37,493
Yeah, I... I guess so.

138
00:10:39,297 --> 00:10:41,495
Right. I'm off.
Take care of the girl.

139
00:10:41,531 --> 00:10:44,070
She's in there,
glued to a book, as always.

140
00:10:44,106 --> 00:10:46,375
I'm next door on the right
if you need anything.

141
00:10:46,410 --> 00:10:48,210
- Yeah, thanks.
- Okay.

142
00:10:48,246 --> 00:10:49,846
- Hmm?
- No.

143
00:10:57,985 --> 00:11:00,417
Mildred, it's me.
Strawn. Your dad.

144
00:11:01,351 --> 00:11:02,953
I just flew
halfway across the world

145
00:11:02,988 --> 00:11:04,586
to be with you, little lady.

146
00:11:04,621 --> 00:11:07,592
And I'm sorry about your mom,
but she's gonna be okay.

147
00:11:07,628 --> 00:11:08,964
It's official.

148
00:11:10,903 --> 00:11:14,163
A licensed medical professional
has<i> officially</i> told you

149
00:11:14,199 --> 00:11:16,540
she's<i> officially</i>
going to be okay?

150
00:11:16,575 --> 00:11:17,846
Is that what you mean
by "official"?

151
00:11:17,870 --> 00:11:19,876
Well... no, I... I mean,

152
00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:24,113
she's gonna be okay.

153
00:11:24,148 --> 00:11:26,017
I'm sure.

154
00:11:26,052 --> 00:11:27,081
Pretty sure.

155
00:11:32,757 --> 00:11:36,189
Hey, do you want to see
something amazing?

156
00:11:38,093 --> 00:11:42,327
I said, do you want to see
something amazing?

157
00:11:44,303 --> 00:11:45,663
Will it take a long time?

158
00:11:45,699 --> 00:11:48,833
- No.
- Fine.

159
00:11:48,869 --> 00:11:50,434
Show me something amazing.

160
00:12:00,077 --> 00:12:02,215
Go on. Pick a card.

161
00:12:04,619 --> 00:12:06,114
Now, look at it.

162
00:12:06,149 --> 00:12:07,489
Don't tell me what it is.

163
00:12:07,524 --> 00:12:08,826
Put it back in the deck.

164
00:12:17,498 --> 00:12:18,693
Alright.

165
00:12:20,404 --> 00:12:21,532
Is this your card?

166
00:12:21,568 --> 00:12:23,670
No.

167
00:12:23,705 --> 00:12:25,541
Sorry.

168
00:12:25,577 --> 00:12:27,340
It sounded like you said, "No."

169
00:12:27,375 --> 00:12:30,905
It sounded like I said no
because I did indeed say, "No."

170
00:12:30,940 --> 00:12:32,784
Okay.

171
00:12:36,887 --> 00:12:38,749
- Is this your card?
- I'm afraid it's not.

172
00:12:38,785 --> 00:12:39,989
Okay.

173
00:12:42,019 --> 00:12:43,091
Is that your card?

174
00:12:44,454 --> 00:12:47,227
I can lie and say, "Yes,"
if it helps.

175
00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:51,335
- This?
- No. Sorry.

176
00:12:51,370 --> 00:12:52,634
- This?
- No.

177
00:12:52,669 --> 00:12:54,305
- This?
- Look, it's okay...

178
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:55,598
- God damn it.
- Wait!

179
00:13:00,375 --> 00:13:04,310
Now... Kindly, remove your jaw
from the floor and tell me.

180
00:13:06,110 --> 00:13:07,709
Is<i> that</i> your card?

181
00:13:09,388 --> 00:13:11,822
Right.

182
00:13:11,858 --> 00:13:15,756
Before I get to whether
that is or isn't my card,

183
00:13:15,791 --> 00:13:17,521
lemme get one thing straight.

184
00:13:19,023 --> 00:13:20,497
Yeah. What's that?

185
00:13:20,532 --> 00:13:21,809
Am I right in assuming

186
00:13:21,833 --> 00:13:23,500
that you snuck around
to the back garden

187
00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:25,365
to glue that card to the window

188
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:27,798
before scrambling back around
to ring the front doorbell?

189
00:13:27,834 --> 00:13:28,900
No.

190
00:13:28,936 --> 00:13:31,342
It's... It's called magic.

191
00:13:31,377 --> 00:13:32,871
I use the power of magic.

192
00:13:32,906 --> 00:13:36,078
Did you or did you not?

193
00:13:38,310 --> 00:13:40,212
Come on.
I won't be angry with you.

194
00:13:40,247 --> 00:13:43,382
I just... want you
to tell me the truth.

195
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:50,460
Fine. Yeah, uh, yeah, okay.

196
00:13:50,495 --> 00:13:53,427
But that<i> is</i> your card.

197
00:13:53,462 --> 00:13:54,866
Right?

198
00:13:57,730 --> 00:13:58,793
Wrong.

199
00:13:59,899 --> 00:14:01,596
It is your card.

200
00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:05,234
It... is... not... my... card.

201
00:14:05,269 --> 00:14:06,669
- Of course, it is.
- Fine.

202
00:14:07,875 --> 00:14:09,812
I give up. It's my card.

203
00:14:09,848 --> 00:14:12,746
Bravo, well done.
Spectacular magic trick.

204
00:14:12,781 --> 00:14:14,248
Are you being sarcastic?

205
00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:16,921
Hm.

206
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:22,756
Um, how about you
show me your room?

207
00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:30,810
I can't say I spend much time

208
00:14:30,834 --> 00:14:32,195
in 11-year-old girls' bedrooms,

209
00:14:32,231 --> 00:14:35,031
but this isn't what I expected.

210
00:14:35,067 --> 00:14:37,066
What did you expect?

211
00:14:37,101 --> 00:14:39,140
A pink doll house?

212
00:14:39,176 --> 00:14:44,511
Pictures of palaces
and unicorns and princesses?

213
00:14:44,547 --> 00:14:45,884
Basically.

214
00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:49,444
What was on your walls
when you were 11?

215
00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:52,415
A lot of
David Copperfield posters.

216
00:14:52,451 --> 00:14:54,987
You like David Copperfield?

217
00:14:55,023 --> 00:14:56,952
Like? More like<i> love.</i>

218
00:14:56,987 --> 00:14:59,126
Same.

219
00:14:59,161 --> 00:15:01,260
I'm borderline obsessed
to tell the truth.

220
00:15:01,295 --> 00:15:03,360
David Copperfield
was my<i> life</i> growing up.

221
00:15:03,395 --> 00:15:07,136
Okay. So,
we have something in common.

222
00:15:08,166 --> 00:15:09,305
It is a good start.

223
00:15:09,340 --> 00:15:11,001
Yeah.

224
00:15:11,036 --> 00:15:12,736
Really good start.

225
00:15:12,772 --> 00:15:15,132
What are the odds of us having
the exact same favorite book?

226
00:15:16,615 --> 00:15:19,742
Oh, no. I... I'm talking about

227
00:15:19,777 --> 00:15:23,548
David Copperfield,
the illusionist from the 1990s?

228
00:15:25,290 --> 00:15:27,087
Oh.

229
00:15:27,122 --> 00:15:29,717
I am talking about
David Copperfield,

230
00:15:29,752 --> 00:15:34,064
the Charles Dickens novel
from the 1840s.

231
00:15:35,194 --> 00:15:38,098
Oh, I don't know what that is.

232
00:15:38,133 --> 00:15:39,306
Guess we don't have

233
00:15:39,330 --> 00:15:40,796
anything in common, after all.

234
00:15:58,291 --> 00:15:59,320
What's this?

235
00:16:00,523 --> 00:16:02,251
This...

236
00:16:02,287 --> 00:16:03,652
is the Canterbury Panther.

237
00:16:03,687 --> 00:16:07,160
You could say it's our version
of Bigfoot.

238
00:16:07,195 --> 00:16:08,590
There's been sightings
for decades,

239
00:16:08,626 --> 00:16:11,162
but no one's ever
caught definitive proof.

240
00:16:11,197 --> 00:16:12,760
So, they're offering 50,000

241
00:16:12,795 --> 00:16:16,005
for actual video evidence
of its existence.

242
00:16:16,041 --> 00:16:18,199
I... I don't really know
New Zealand money yet.

243
00:16:18,235 --> 00:16:20,071
Is that a lot?

244
00:16:20,106 --> 00:16:22,704
Yes. It's a lot of money.

245
00:16:22,740 --> 00:16:25,984
Money Mum and I
could really use right now.

246
00:16:33,290 --> 00:16:35,370
She was supposed to take me
camping to search for it.

247
00:16:36,856 --> 00:16:38,757
Oh, well.

248
00:16:38,792 --> 00:16:39,822
I mean...

249
00:16:41,193 --> 00:16:42,963
I could take you. Maybe?

250
00:16:45,997 --> 00:16:47,038
Really?

251
00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:49,734
Sure.

252
00:16:49,769 --> 00:16:52,505
Might help to take your mind
off of everything with your mum.

253
00:16:52,540 --> 00:16:55,211
I mean, I don't know
the first thing about camping.

254
00:16:55,246 --> 00:16:58,382
I've never been, but,
you know, maybe we could go.

255
00:16:58,418 --> 00:17:00,414
Just... quickly?

256
00:17:01,751 --> 00:17:03,153
Are you sure?

257
00:17:17,530 --> 00:17:20,872
Ah, you know,
now that I think of it,

258
00:17:20,907 --> 00:17:22,535
I... I don't think
it's such a good idea.

259
00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:25,835
We leave at first light.

260
00:17:27,877 --> 00:17:28,908
Mm-hmm.

261
00:18:02,244 --> 00:18:04,775
Hey, stick with me.
It'll be fine.

262
00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:09,450
You know
where you're going, right?

263
00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:29,607
Hey!

264
00:18:31,903 --> 00:18:33,807
Hey there!

265
00:18:33,842 --> 00:18:34,973
Hello!

266
00:18:35,009 --> 00:18:36,142
Hey there!

267
00:18:40,584 --> 00:18:41,614
Hey!

268
00:18:42,653 --> 00:18:43,785
I know you.

269
00:18:43,821 --> 00:18:45,886
You're Strawn Wise.

270
00:18:45,922 --> 00:18:48,223
The magician, right?

271
00:18:48,259 --> 00:18:50,661
Illusionist. But, yes.

272
00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:52,361
I just knew it was you.

273
00:18:53,823 --> 00:18:55,856
And who's this
cute little nipper?

274
00:18:55,892 --> 00:18:58,197
That is my biological daughter,
Mildred.

275
00:18:58,232 --> 00:19:00,061
Biological daughter. Is she?

276
00:19:01,499 --> 00:19:03,498
Hi there, Mildred. I'm Reginald.

277
00:19:03,533 --> 00:19:04,769
You look like a Reginald.

278
00:19:05,843 --> 00:19:07,342
That name suits you.

279
00:19:07,377 --> 00:19:09,378
You have a perfect
name-to-face correspondence.

280
00:19:15,054 --> 00:19:16,685
I used to watch
your show on the telly.

281
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:18,889
Oh! Thanks.

282
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:20,453
Thank you.
That really means a lot.

283
00:19:20,489 --> 00:19:22,066
Yeah. I used to watch
after my night shift.

284
00:19:22,090 --> 00:19:23,587
It was on at 4:00 am.

285
00:19:23,623 --> 00:19:25,296
Real prime-time stuff, then.

286
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:27,929
It's such a shame
we don't get it here anymore.

287
00:19:27,964 --> 00:19:30,692
Nobody gets it anymore.

288
00:19:30,727 --> 00:19:32,636
- What?
- It's no longer running

289
00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:34,128
here or anywhere.

290
00:19:35,432 --> 00:19:36,734
It was cancelled.

291
00:19:36,770 --> 00:19:39,637
Halfway through the first
season, actually, so...

292
00:19:39,672 --> 00:19:42,038
Yeah, I... I don't have
a show anymore.

293
00:19:42,074 --> 00:19:43,104
Oh.

294
00:19:44,211 --> 00:19:45,577
I guess the other guy

295
00:19:45,612 --> 00:19:47,256
sort of hijacked
the spotlight a little bit.

296
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:48,384
Is that fair to say?

297
00:19:50,479 --> 00:19:51,755
Who? David?

298
00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:53,416
Yeah, yeah.

299
00:19:53,451 --> 00:19:54,719
Never liked him, myself.

300
00:19:54,754 --> 00:19:57,053
Seamed up his own arse,
from the looks of it.

301
00:19:57,089 --> 00:19:58,491
Oh.

302
00:19:58,526 --> 00:20:00,726
Thank you.
That's very kind of you to say.

303
00:20:04,066 --> 00:20:05,731
Can you still levitate?

304
00:20:06,796 --> 00:20:08,116
I certainly can.

305
00:20:09,039 --> 00:20:10,319
What are you waiting for? Go on.

306
00:20:12,172 --> 00:20:13,873
What?

307
00:20:13,909 --> 00:20:15,411
Now? Here?

308
00:20:16,815 --> 00:20:18,716
Yeah! Go on, Strawn.

309
00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:20,075
Levitate for an old fan.

310
00:20:24,750 --> 00:20:27,248
Is levitation a lengthy process?

311
00:20:27,284 --> 00:20:31,254
I'm asking because we've got
a lot of ground to cover today.

312
00:20:31,290 --> 00:20:32,329
Okay!

313
00:20:39,634 --> 00:20:44,199
I can feel the power,
specifically in my feet.

314
00:20:44,234 --> 00:20:48,037
I'm talking about the power
of levitation, specifically.

315
00:20:57,281 --> 00:20:58,454
Oh.

316
00:20:59,989 --> 00:21:01,485
Oh, that's mad.

317
00:21:01,521 --> 00:21:03,456
Ah, is this actually happening?

318
00:21:03,492 --> 00:21:06,860
I don't...
He's actually bloody levitating.

319
00:21:06,895 --> 00:21:08,028
Yeah, no.

320
00:21:08,064 --> 00:21:09,194
He's not levitating.

321
00:21:09,229 --> 00:21:10,795
What do you mean?

322
00:21:10,831 --> 00:21:12,994
He's put all his weight
on the ball of one foot

323
00:21:13,029 --> 00:21:15,502
while lifting both
heels off the ground,

324
00:21:15,538 --> 00:21:17,874
thus creating
the<i> illusion</i> of levitation

325
00:21:17,909 --> 00:21:19,167
from your vantage point.

326
00:21:22,576 --> 00:21:24,381
Oh, yeah.
You were right.

327
00:21:27,247 --> 00:21:28,679
Cheers, Strawn.

328
00:21:28,714 --> 00:21:30,217
Cheers
for single-handedly destroying

329
00:21:30,252 --> 00:21:31,459
my belief in the power of magic.

330
00:21:31,483 --> 00:21:33,115
Much appreciated, bruv.

331
00:21:36,092 --> 00:21:37,856
Do you want an autograph?

332
00:21:40,292 --> 00:21:41,497
Yeah, go on.

333
00:21:55,444 --> 00:21:57,343
You didn't have to, you know,

334
00:21:57,378 --> 00:21:59,612
shatter the illusion back there.

335
00:21:59,648 --> 00:22:02,248
You were conning him
with fake magic.

336
00:22:02,283 --> 00:22:03,953
It was painful to watch.

337
00:22:03,988 --> 00:22:05,586
What?

338
00:22:05,621 --> 00:22:07,391
You'll have to pardon
my bluntness.

339
00:22:07,427 --> 00:22:09,788
I'm what's commonly referred to
as a "brutal realist".

340
00:22:09,823 --> 00:22:11,403
A brutal realist
who actually believes

341
00:22:11,427 --> 00:22:13,527
there's a real giant panther
out here.

342
00:22:13,563 --> 00:22:16,365
Panthers exist.
Levitation doesn't.

343
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,120
That's the long and short of it,
I'm afraid.

344
00:22:25,009 --> 00:22:26,036
Keep going.

345
00:22:28,606 --> 00:22:29,677
Peanut butter and jelly.

346
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:31,909
What do you think?

347
00:22:31,944 --> 00:22:33,912
Old Strawn's got some
sandwich-making skills?

348
00:22:35,746 --> 00:22:37,784
Must be an American delicacy.

349
00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:41,320
Can't say I'm a fan, myself,

350
00:22:41,356 --> 00:22:43,325
but calories are calories,

351
00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:45,590
and they're in short supply
out here.

352
00:22:45,625 --> 00:22:47,798
You know,
you don't talk like a...

353
00:22:47,834 --> 00:22:49,292
Like a normal child?

354
00:22:49,327 --> 00:22:50,597
I know.

355
00:22:50,632 --> 00:22:52,010
I wasn't going to put it
that way, exactly.

356
00:22:52,034 --> 00:22:53,668
But, yeah.

357
00:22:53,703 --> 00:22:55,549
My point is, you don't have
to dress everything up

358
00:22:55,573 --> 00:22:58,469
to sound more sophisticated
than you are.

359
00:22:58,504 --> 00:23:00,376
Yeah, says the magician

360
00:23:00,412 --> 00:23:03,570
who insists
on being called an illusionist.

361
00:23:05,442 --> 00:23:06,576
I mean...

362
00:23:18,659 --> 00:23:21,328
So, how you finding school?

363
00:23:21,363 --> 00:23:24,600
Are you having a hard time?

364
00:23:24,635 --> 00:23:27,701
Why would I
be having a hard time, Strawn?

365
00:23:27,736 --> 00:23:29,696
- No, no, I didn't mean any...
- If you must know,

366
00:23:31,669 --> 00:23:32,866
I'm top of my class.

367
00:23:32,901 --> 00:23:34,335
Straight A's all the way.

368
00:23:35,776 --> 00:23:37,943
I'm captain
of the netball team, and...

369
00:23:40,044 --> 00:23:42,781
believe it or not,
I was officially voted

370
00:23:42,817 --> 00:23:44,523
The Most Popular Girl In School
last winter.

371
00:23:44,547 --> 00:23:46,116
Wow.

372
00:23:47,954 --> 00:23:52,120
My boyfriend, Clarence,
Clarence Hargreaves,

373
00:23:52,155 --> 00:23:55,328
is the dreamiest guy
in the entire school.

374
00:23:55,363 --> 00:23:58,435
He looks like Hercules

375
00:23:58,471 --> 00:24:00,630
and his hair smells
like apricot jam.

376
00:24:00,665 --> 00:24:03,374
A hard... "A hard time"?

377
00:24:03,409 --> 00:24:05,966
I have a hard time
staying away from the place.

378
00:24:06,001 --> 00:24:07,542
School is like heaven for me,

379
00:24:07,577 --> 00:24:10,371
academically, athletically
and socially.

380
00:24:13,380 --> 00:24:14,914
What, really?

381
00:24:16,053 --> 00:24:18,816
No, not really.

382
00:24:18,851 --> 00:24:21,250
I despise school,
and everyone in it.

383
00:24:22,754 --> 00:24:23,986
We're hemorrhaging daylight

384
00:24:24,021 --> 00:24:25,658
faster than
I'm comfortable with.

385
00:24:25,693 --> 00:24:27,157
Let's pick up
the pace, shall we?

386
00:24:34,573 --> 00:24:36,247
What are the chances
of a mythical panther

387
00:24:36,271 --> 00:24:37,332
popping up here?

388
00:24:52,749 --> 00:24:54,322
Jesus!

389
00:24:59,529 --> 00:25:01,028
- Do you think...
- Yes.

390
00:25:01,064 --> 00:25:02,957
Yes, I do.

391
00:25:02,993 --> 00:25:05,195
One false move out here, and...

392
00:25:06,730 --> 00:25:08,506
that could be us.

393
00:25:16,041 --> 00:25:18,510
He's here.
He's here and he's watching us.

394
00:25:29,586 --> 00:25:31,290
Oh, God.

395
00:25:34,196 --> 00:25:36,325
Oh... sorry.

396
00:25:38,863 --> 00:25:40,661
Not so mythical now, is it?

397
00:25:40,696 --> 00:25:41,902
Huh-uh.

398
00:25:45,109 --> 00:25:46,170
Come on.

399
00:26:58,150 --> 00:27:00,081
Strawn!

400
00:27:00,116 --> 00:27:01,817
Strawn?

401
00:27:06,024 --> 00:27:07,224
Having fun?

402
00:27:07,259 --> 00:27:10,259
Soaking it all in, aren't we?

403
00:27:10,294 --> 00:27:11,585
Do you want me to help?

404
00:27:12,924 --> 00:27:14,489
I thought you'd never ask.

405
00:27:23,604 --> 00:27:25,068
What can I do?

406
00:27:25,103 --> 00:27:26,567
You could start a fire.

407
00:27:27,740 --> 00:27:30,005
How does one... do that?

408
00:27:30,041 --> 00:27:32,279
I'd give you a tutorial, but...

409
00:27:32,314 --> 00:27:34,014
at present,

410
00:27:34,050 --> 00:27:37,747
I'm kinda in the middle
of putting up our bloody tent.

411
00:27:37,782 --> 00:27:39,587
I have an idea.

412
00:27:42,358 --> 00:27:44,094
H... How did you...

413
00:27:44,129 --> 00:27:45,753
It's called magic.

414
00:27:47,125 --> 00:27:49,029
Actually, it's called
a thumb flint.

415
00:27:50,901 --> 00:27:53,528
An essential weapon
in any illusionist's arsenal.

416
00:27:57,433 --> 00:28:00,172
I just realized
that I only brought one.

417
00:28:11,420 --> 00:28:13,454
So...

418
00:28:13,489 --> 00:28:14,516
How's your mom doing?

419
00:28:17,661 --> 00:28:19,956
She's in an induced coma,

420
00:28:19,991 --> 00:28:22,429
hovering between life and death.

421
00:28:22,464 --> 00:28:23,831
Thanks for asking.

422
00:28:23,866 --> 00:28:27,397
No, I mean, apart
from the whole coma thing.

423
00:28:29,198 --> 00:28:32,300
Just generally, how was she?

424
00:28:32,335 --> 00:28:35,378
She talks too much,
works too much,

425
00:28:35,413 --> 00:28:36,706
and has terrible taste in men.

426
00:28:36,741 --> 00:28:38,606
No offense.

427
00:28:41,418 --> 00:28:42,720
She means well, though.

428
00:28:43,948 --> 00:28:45,752
She tries her best,

429
00:28:45,788 --> 00:28:48,157
but you could say
she's struggling.

430
00:28:48,193 --> 00:28:50,288
I... I don't...

431
00:28:52,825 --> 00:28:55,161
Her sister, my aunt,

432
00:28:55,196 --> 00:28:58,659
is afflicted with the old,
substance-abuse nonsense.

433
00:28:59,963 --> 00:29:02,000
No, it's not fair.

434
00:29:02,035 --> 00:29:04,498
It's not nonsense.
It's a disease.

435
00:29:04,533 --> 00:29:08,003
Anyway, Mum took out
a whole bunch of loans

436
00:29:08,038 --> 00:29:10,046
to put her through rehab.

437
00:29:10,081 --> 00:29:11,441
Now...

438
00:29:14,044 --> 00:29:15,115
She's deep in the hole.

439
00:29:16,981 --> 00:29:19,418
Fifty-thousand-deep.

440
00:29:19,453 --> 00:29:21,120
Jesus.

441
00:29:21,156 --> 00:29:23,660
Why'd you think I'm on the hunt
for this panther?

442
00:29:23,695 --> 00:29:26,296
The reward is 50k,
for a video of the thing.

443
00:29:26,331 --> 00:29:28,089
Problem solved, right?

444
00:29:28,124 --> 00:29:29,358
Mum will be off the hook

445
00:29:29,393 --> 00:29:32,165
and not having to juggle
three stupid jobs.

446
00:29:35,867 --> 00:29:37,599
Plus, you know...

447
00:29:38,943 --> 00:29:41,537
I do really want to see
a great, big, giant panther.

448
00:29:45,248 --> 00:29:46,443
Mm.

449
00:29:47,415 --> 00:29:48,445
Right.

450
00:29:49,712 --> 00:29:52,988
I don't know about you,
but I am bloody zonked.

451
00:29:57,988 --> 00:30:00,362
Before we go in,

452
00:30:00,398 --> 00:30:02,594
can I make one thing

453
00:30:02,630 --> 00:30:04,200
perfectly clear?

454
00:30:04,235 --> 00:30:05,800
What's that?

455
00:30:05,836 --> 00:30:09,304
I know you have a belly
full of beans.

456
00:30:09,340 --> 00:30:11,637
But this tent...

457
00:30:11,673 --> 00:30:13,373
is a fart-free zone.

458
00:30:13,408 --> 00:30:14,803
Clear?

459
00:30:14,838 --> 00:30:16,506
Clear.

460
00:30:20,282 --> 00:30:22,611
I'm sorry things
never worked out with your mom.

461
00:30:25,349 --> 00:30:27,616
I did ask her
to stay with me in Vegas

462
00:30:29,692 --> 00:30:30,784
when she told me she was...

463
00:30:32,923 --> 00:30:34,530
When you...

464
00:30:34,565 --> 00:30:36,130
When she was pregnant, you know.

465
00:30:37,466 --> 00:30:39,161
I did offer,

466
00:30:39,197 --> 00:30:41,696
but... she wanted to stay here.

467
00:30:44,734 --> 00:30:46,814
I don't want you to think
that I... I didn't want you

468
00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:48,871
or anything like that.

469
00:30:48,906 --> 00:30:50,243
It's just...

470
00:30:52,283 --> 00:30:53,576
It's a lot.

471
00:30:59,523 --> 00:31:01,589
I only met your mom once,

472
00:31:01,624 --> 00:31:04,026
for a couple of hours.

473
00:31:09,359 --> 00:31:11,000
It's such
a complicated situation.

474
00:31:16,532 --> 00:31:19,107
You're not
the average child, so...

475
00:31:20,610 --> 00:31:22,044
I feel like I can say...

476
00:31:34,756 --> 00:31:35,783
Good night, Mildred.

477
00:31:43,327 --> 00:31:45,632
You're not really asleep,
are you?

478
00:31:45,668 --> 00:31:46,827
Good night, Strawn.

479
00:31:59,285 --> 00:32:00,808
I'm so sorry.

480
00:32:29,271 --> 00:32:30,475
Hm...

481
00:32:32,415 --> 00:32:33,416
Jesus.

482
00:32:33,451 --> 00:32:34,776
What? What is it?

483
00:32:35,817 --> 00:32:37,383
I heard a creepy sound.

484
00:32:38,490 --> 00:32:40,589
Am I still dreaming

485
00:32:40,624 --> 00:32:42,485
or did a 42-year-old man

486
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:44,819
really just wake up
an 11-year-old girl

487
00:32:44,854 --> 00:32:47,692
to tell her that he heard
a creepy sound in the night.

488
00:32:47,728 --> 00:32:49,497
I'm sorry.

489
00:32:49,532 --> 00:32:51,434
Never mind.

490
00:32:51,469 --> 00:32:53,036
Go back to sleep.

491
00:33:19,589 --> 00:33:21,100
- Good morning, Strawn.
- Yeah.

492
00:33:21,124 --> 00:33:22,959
Sleep well?

493
00:33:22,994 --> 00:33:24,129
Not really.

494
00:33:24,164 --> 00:33:26,295
My stomach feels
weird and bubbly.

495
00:33:26,331 --> 00:33:28,929
I know. I'm super excited, too.

496
00:33:31,206 --> 00:33:33,373
Get some caffeine in you
and let's move.

497
00:33:37,239 --> 00:33:38,279
You know...

498
00:33:39,541 --> 00:33:40,809
You<i> can</i> call me "Dad."

499
00:33:42,818 --> 00:33:44,087
Why would I do that?

500
00:33:45,747 --> 00:33:47,816
Most daughters
call their dads "Dad."

501
00:33:47,851 --> 00:33:51,554
Most daughters see their dads
more than once a decade.

502
00:33:51,589 --> 00:33:53,763
Maybe one day,
you'll actually call me dad.

503
00:33:57,293 --> 00:33:58,793
And maybe one day,

504
00:33:58,829 --> 00:34:01,863
you'll actually do a magic trick
that impresses me.

505
00:34:32,228 --> 00:34:33,301
What is it?

506
00:34:34,334 --> 00:34:36,038
We're gonna
have to find shelter.

507
00:34:36,073 --> 00:34:38,974
It's gonna rain very heavily
and very soon.

508
00:34:39,009 --> 00:34:41,237
What?
The sky looks fine.

509
00:34:41,272 --> 00:34:42,343
What's missing?

510
00:34:43,410 --> 00:34:46,216
- Clouds?
- Birds, Strawn.

511
00:34:46,251 --> 00:34:48,646
They make themselves scarce
before a good old downpour.

512
00:34:49,778 --> 00:34:52,879
I think you're mistaken.

513
00:34:52,915 --> 00:34:55,788
I'm pretty confident
that it's not gonna rain.

514
00:35:00,657 --> 00:35:02,655
So, do you go camping a lot?

515
00:35:02,690 --> 00:35:04,467
This is my first time.

516
00:35:04,503 --> 00:35:06,001
What?

517
00:35:06,036 --> 00:35:07,330
I've always asked Mum
to take me,

518
00:35:07,365 --> 00:35:08,930
but, you know what she's like.

519
00:35:10,873 --> 00:35:11,900
Actually, you don't.

520
00:35:13,510 --> 00:35:14,606
I forgot.

521
00:35:19,984 --> 00:35:21,481
She's got me wrapped
in cotton wool.

522
00:35:23,148 --> 00:35:24,220
And bubble wrap.

523
00:35:26,188 --> 00:35:28,158
Barely even lets me play
in the backyard.

524
00:35:29,423 --> 00:35:31,491
Still wants to walk me
to school, you know.

525
00:35:31,526 --> 00:35:34,725
Does wonders for my social life,
as you can imagine.

526
00:35:38,033 --> 00:35:40,467
Does she ever talk about me...

527
00:35:41,937 --> 00:35:43,363
Why would she do that?

528
00:36:01,353 --> 00:36:03,160
She's gonna be okay, you know.

529
00:36:04,454 --> 00:36:05,624
She's in good hands.

530
00:36:18,171 --> 00:36:20,543
It's... It's alright...

531
00:36:20,579 --> 00:36:22,069
to be scared.

532
00:36:23,581 --> 00:36:24,775
It's normal.

533
00:36:31,689 --> 00:36:33,219
So...

534
00:36:33,255 --> 00:36:35,088
what does
the average working day

535
00:36:35,123 --> 00:36:36,820
for an illusionist look like?

536
00:36:38,621 --> 00:36:42,025
Well, um, I do appearances.

537
00:36:42,060 --> 00:36:43,123
Parties.

538
00:36:44,230 --> 00:36:46,301
Actually, last week,

539
00:36:46,336 --> 00:36:48,832
I just did a major celebrity's
birthday party.

540
00:36:50,409 --> 00:36:51,507
Wow.

541
00:36:53,104 --> 00:36:55,810
You know, you could try being
a little bit more respectful.

542
00:36:55,845 --> 00:36:57,478
I'm sure I could.

543
00:37:00,049 --> 00:37:02,043
I just can't promise I will.

544
00:37:04,786 --> 00:37:07,716
I work hard, you know,
providing for you and your mom.

545
00:37:07,751 --> 00:37:09,452
Levitation and card tricks?

546
00:37:09,487 --> 00:37:11,552
Back-breaking stuff, I'm sure.

547
00:37:11,588 --> 00:37:12,886
What I do is both

548
00:37:12,921 --> 00:37:14,523
physically and mentally
exhausting.

549
00:37:14,559 --> 00:37:15,856
My wrist strength is equivalent

550
00:37:15,891 --> 00:37:17,828
to that
of a professional wrestler.

551
00:37:17,863 --> 00:37:20,033
You think it's easy, making
a hundred balloon animals

552
00:37:20,068 --> 00:37:21,194
for Vin Diesel's kids?

553
00:37:22,432 --> 00:37:24,373
Balloon animals.

554
00:37:24,408 --> 00:37:28,010
And they say air traffic
controllers have stressful jobs.

555
00:37:28,045 --> 00:37:29,840
And what the hell
is a Vin Diesel?

556
00:37:31,482 --> 00:37:35,048
Only the lead of the greatest
franchise in film history.

557
00:37:35,083 --> 00:37:36,249
Well, anyway, whatever,

558
00:37:36,285 --> 00:37:37,610
people need magic
in their lives.

559
00:37:37,645 --> 00:37:39,079
I'm doing my best.

560
00:37:39,114 --> 00:37:42,320
I'm doing my best
not to punch you in the goolies.

561
00:37:42,356 --> 00:37:44,425
What did I ever do to you? Huh?

562
00:37:44,460 --> 00:37:46,757
Why are you angry with me?
Wha... What is this?

563
00:37:46,793 --> 00:37:50,426
Oh, you<i> really</i> want
to have this conversation,

564
00:37:50,461 --> 00:37:52,401
right here, right now?

565
00:37:53,703 --> 00:37:54,733
Um...

566
00:37:55,938 --> 00:37:56,999
I don't know.

567
00:37:58,374 --> 00:38:01,172
No. Maybe not.

568
00:38:01,207 --> 00:38:03,038
Yeah, let's not...

569
00:38:05,212 --> 00:38:06,750
- What?
- Don't move.

570
00:38:07,918 --> 00:38:09,914
Stay completely still.

571
00:38:09,949 --> 00:38:12,093
Is this just a trick so you can
punch me in the "goolies"?

572
00:38:12,117 --> 00:38:13,455
No.

573
00:38:18,461 --> 00:38:19,767
Oh, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no.

574
00:38:19,791 --> 00:38:21,756
Strawn, listen to me.

575
00:38:21,791 --> 00:38:25,597
Do not, I repeat, do<i> not</i> move.

576
00:38:25,632 --> 00:38:29,202
- It's the...
- Panther.

577
00:38:29,237 --> 00:38:31,198
It's the panther.

578
00:38:32,277 --> 00:38:33,347
What do we...
what do we do?

579
00:38:33,371 --> 00:38:34,672
Shh.

580
00:38:34,707 --> 00:38:35,882
Just be quiet.

581
00:38:35,906 --> 00:38:39,113
- Panthers kill people.
- I said be quiet.

582
00:38:39,148 --> 00:38:40,843
Well, why wouldn't it kill us?

583
00:38:40,879 --> 00:38:43,713
Because, A,
it hasn't seen us yet.

584
00:38:43,749 --> 00:38:46,251
And B, we're going to stay
very still,

585
00:38:46,286 --> 00:38:49,491
very quiet and very calm.

586
00:39:00,300 --> 00:39:01,463
That's not good, is it?

587
00:39:01,499 --> 00:39:02,829
- Umm
- Do we run?

588
00:39:02,865 --> 00:39:04,697
Think you can outrun a panther?

589
00:39:04,733 --> 00:39:06,032
I don't know. Can I?

590
00:39:06,067 --> 00:39:07,575
No, Strawn.
No, you can't.

591
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:11,705
At least, there's water
between us.

592
00:39:11,740 --> 00:39:12,908
Cats hate water, right?

593
00:39:12,943 --> 00:39:16,251
Panthers are exceptional
swimmers, actually.

594
00:39:16,286 --> 00:39:19,917
- And what do we do?
- We stay still.

595
00:39:21,754 --> 00:39:24,784
We don't move
and we don't make a sound.

596
00:39:48,410 --> 00:39:50,390
Mum, if you can
hear me, it's going to be okay.

597
00:39:50,414 --> 00:39:51,913
I promise.

598
00:39:51,949 --> 00:39:56,616
P.S. I love you
with all of my heart.

599
00:39:56,652 --> 00:39:57,827
There. Happy?

600
00:39:57,863 --> 00:39:59,126
Mildred...

601
00:39:59,161 --> 00:40:00,793
Did you get the footage?

602
00:40:02,462 --> 00:40:04,731
I got it. I got the bugger.

603
00:40:07,466 --> 00:40:08,671
How are you holding up?

604
00:40:11,207 --> 00:40:14,070
That was... a close encounter.

605
00:40:15,772 --> 00:40:17,671
Of the fifty-thousandth kind.

606
00:40:50,773 --> 00:40:51,943
Mildred, look.

607
00:40:54,048 --> 00:40:55,183
Sorry.

608
00:40:55,218 --> 00:40:57,352
For being an absent father?

609
00:40:57,387 --> 00:41:00,890
What? No, I... I mean,
for doubting you

610
00:41:00,925 --> 00:41:02,118
about the panther.

611
00:41:05,990 --> 00:41:09,191
And for the whole
absent-father thing, too.

612
00:41:10,528 --> 00:41:11,732
Sorry for that.

613
00:41:13,037 --> 00:41:15,865
Yeah, and I'm sorry about

614
00:41:15,901 --> 00:41:18,140
threatening to punch you
in the goolies.

615
00:41:18,175 --> 00:41:22,235
It was rude and uncalled for.

616
00:41:22,270 --> 00:41:24,278
And pretty Freudian,
when you think about it.

617
00:41:24,313 --> 00:41:26,544
Uh, not to change the subject,

618
00:41:26,580 --> 00:41:28,980
but you're getting eaten alive.

619
00:41:34,921 --> 00:41:37,789
You know, most people
just squash the buggers.

620
00:41:37,824 --> 00:41:40,323
Yeah, not... not me.
I'm not a murderer.

621
00:41:40,358 --> 00:41:44,867
Uh, always used to make me feel
guilty as a kid, killing bugs.

622
00:41:44,902 --> 00:41:46,932
Made me sad

623
00:41:46,968 --> 00:41:49,396
thinking about their babies
wondering where they went.

624
00:41:52,076 --> 00:41:54,401
- What?
- Don't move.

625
00:41:55,945 --> 00:41:57,345
What?

626
00:41:57,381 --> 00:41:59,547
You've got a weta
on your shoulder.

627
00:41:59,582 --> 00:42:01,611
- What, a weta?
- A weta.

628
00:42:07,950 --> 00:42:10,258
God, what the hell is that?

629
00:42:10,293 --> 00:42:12,353
What the hell is that?

630
00:42:20,801 --> 00:42:22,664
Think its babies will wonder
where it went?

631
00:42:30,545 --> 00:42:32,142
Mum said
you used to be on telly.

632
00:42:33,283 --> 00:42:34,881
You were some big-shot magician.

633
00:42:36,587 --> 00:42:38,981
But then another big-shot
magician came along

634
00:42:39,016 --> 00:42:40,854
and you became
a small-shot magician.

635
00:42:42,653 --> 00:42:44,957
Oh. David Blaine.

636
00:42:46,592 --> 00:42:47,630
We used to be friends.

637
00:42:49,827 --> 00:42:51,832
Until he stabbed me in the back.

638
00:42:53,633 --> 00:42:56,335
He stabbed me and he stabbed me.

639
00:42:56,370 --> 00:42:58,234
And he stabbed me.

640
00:43:04,143 --> 00:43:06,877
We met doing illusions
in the streets of New York.

641
00:43:08,746 --> 00:43:09,784
Became inseparable.

642
00:43:11,618 --> 00:43:13,590
He was like a big brother to me.

643
00:43:15,490 --> 00:43:18,489
We both landed our own TV shows.

644
00:43:18,525 --> 00:43:20,627
Him first, then me.

645
00:43:20,662 --> 00:43:22,632
His show was called
Street Magic.

646
00:43:23,731 --> 00:43:26,466
Mine was called
Twizted Illusions.

647
00:43:26,501 --> 00:43:29,300
The "s" and Twizted was a "z".

648
00:43:29,335 --> 00:43:31,397
Twizted?

649
00:43:31,432 --> 00:43:34,638
One day, we were
riding through Central Park

650
00:43:34,674 --> 00:43:35,714
in a horse-drawn carriage.

651
00:43:37,241 --> 00:43:39,714
We were both wearing
burgundy velvet shorts.

652
00:43:39,750 --> 00:43:42,747
I told him I had a series
of TV specials planned.

653
00:43:44,048 --> 00:43:45,451
I had the whole
thing worked out.

654
00:43:45,486 --> 00:43:47,382
I talked him through it.

655
00:43:47,417 --> 00:43:50,426
"I'll be buried alive
for a week in Central Park."

656
00:43:50,462 --> 00:43:52,085
The very park
we were riding through.

657
00:43:53,897 --> 00:43:57,690
"Then I would be frozen in
the block of ice for 72 hours."

658
00:43:57,726 --> 00:44:01,704
"Next, I would stand on top
of a tall pillar for 35 hours."

659
00:44:04,406 --> 00:44:05,598
He just laughed at me.

660
00:44:06,770 --> 00:44:08,368
Said I was crazy.

661
00:44:08,403 --> 00:44:10,509
"Nobody could pull
off one of these stunts,

662
00:44:10,544 --> 00:44:12,281
let alone all three."

663
00:44:12,316 --> 00:44:15,184
And then, the greasy little worm

664
00:44:15,220 --> 00:44:17,186
goes and pitches my ideas,

665
00:44:17,221 --> 00:44:19,246
like they're his own.

666
00:44:19,281 --> 00:44:22,489
Signs a... a contract
worth millions

667
00:44:22,524 --> 00:44:24,155
and starts ignoring my calls.

668
00:44:25,925 --> 00:44:28,665
So, I go and confront
the bastard.

669
00:44:30,832 --> 00:44:34,163
He's at this
shark-themed bar in Vegas.

670
00:44:34,199 --> 00:44:36,802
He's there with all his
new showbiz buddies.

671
00:44:36,837 --> 00:44:38,202
A few names
you may have heard of.

672
00:44:39,907 --> 00:44:44,046
DiCaprio, Maguire,
Faustino, Haas, Tip.

673
00:44:44,081 --> 00:44:46,173
As in Q-Tip.

674
00:44:46,208 --> 00:44:48,507
- The celebrated rapper.
- Okay.

675
00:44:48,542 --> 00:44:50,578
They're all wearing
backwards baseball caps.

676
00:44:50,613 --> 00:44:54,052
And these black baggy suits
with one pant leg rolled up.

677
00:44:54,087 --> 00:44:56,792
Like an inside joke,
or a ritual, or something.

678
00:44:58,595 --> 00:45:01,993
Anyway, I...
I go to talk to David.

679
00:45:02,028 --> 00:45:05,160
You know, ask him,
why he did that to me,

680
00:45:05,195 --> 00:45:06,703
after everything
we've been through.

681
00:45:08,503 --> 00:45:09,530
You know what he did?

682
00:45:12,276 --> 00:45:13,642
He just smiles at me,

683
00:45:13,677 --> 00:45:16,570
and slowly poured his drink
over my head.

684
00:45:20,212 --> 00:45:23,084
And then, they all just start
barking at me.

685
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:25,044
Like dogs.

686
00:45:25,079 --> 00:45:28,090
Barking. Barking.

687
00:45:28,125 --> 00:45:29,587
And barking.

688
00:45:33,630 --> 00:45:35,193
And David was barking
the loudest.

689
00:45:36,499 --> 00:45:39,425
His face was all red and sweaty.

690
00:45:39,461 --> 00:45:42,199
His lips were turning blue.

691
00:45:42,235 --> 00:45:44,833
It's like he was having
a seizure or something.

692
00:45:44,869 --> 00:45:46,666
And what did you do?

693
00:45:49,878 --> 00:45:51,704
What I always do
when I see something scary.

694
00:45:54,810 --> 00:45:55,884
Ran away.

695
00:45:58,986 --> 00:46:01,417
As fast as I could,
as far as I could.

696
00:46:04,855 --> 00:46:06,255
Next thing I know,

697
00:46:06,290 --> 00:46:08,193
I'm in the desert,
on my knees, throwing up.

698
00:46:10,198 --> 00:46:13,297
I can see little pieces
of squid tentacle in my vomit.

699
00:46:17,167 --> 00:46:19,004
It's the last thing I remember.

700
00:46:19,039 --> 00:46:21,338
The next few months
are kind of a blur.

701
00:46:24,412 --> 00:46:25,746
Anyway, I...

702
00:46:25,781 --> 00:46:28,378
moved back in
with my mom for a while.

703
00:46:29,584 --> 00:46:30,611
I just couldn't do much.

704
00:46:34,852 --> 00:46:35,924
A year later, I...

705
00:46:38,021 --> 00:46:39,958
I started...

706
00:46:39,993 --> 00:46:41,454
Piecing things back together
again.

707
00:46:41,490 --> 00:46:43,827
You know, card tricks
on the streets,

708
00:46:43,862 --> 00:46:46,460
booking gigs, parties.

709
00:46:46,496 --> 00:46:49,898
And somewhere
in the middle of all of this,

710
00:46:49,933 --> 00:46:51,500
you met my mum.

711
00:46:56,214 --> 00:46:57,706
I met your mom.

712
00:46:57,741 --> 00:46:59,244
Yeah.

713
00:47:00,476 --> 00:47:02,478
I found her secret diary once.

714
00:47:04,284 --> 00:47:09,122
It said that she met you
on a girls' trip to Vegas.

715
00:47:10,955 --> 00:47:12,728
Says I was conceived

716
00:47:12,763 --> 00:47:15,029
in the parking lot
of a convenience store.

717
00:47:16,566 --> 00:47:18,626
That's not really true, is it?

718
00:47:21,468 --> 00:47:22,498
Yeah.

719
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:26,007
They say, "Romance is dead."

720
00:47:31,110 --> 00:47:32,777
You're wrong about
one thing, though.

721
00:47:32,812 --> 00:47:34,543
What's that?

722
00:47:35,984 --> 00:47:38,177
You don't run away
from every scary thing.

723
00:47:38,213 --> 00:47:39,284
You sure about that?

724
00:47:40,982 --> 00:47:42,023
I mean...

725
00:47:43,493 --> 00:47:44,861
You're here, aren't you?

726
00:47:46,664 --> 00:47:49,796
You flew halfway
across the world to...

727
00:47:49,831 --> 00:47:51,395
look after a kid
you've never met.

728
00:47:52,493 --> 00:47:53,870
And in the wilderness, to boot.

729
00:47:56,531 --> 00:47:58,336
Maybe you have a backbone
after all.

730
00:48:01,839 --> 00:48:03,503
Thank you.

731
00:48:03,538 --> 00:48:06,245
Now, let's get some sleep,
shall we?

732
00:49:31,996 --> 00:49:33,700
Hey!

733
00:49:33,735 --> 00:49:36,033
That was like six skips.

734
00:49:36,069 --> 00:49:37,310
- Yeah.
- Alright, ready?

735
00:49:37,334 --> 00:49:38,733
<i>Kia or a!</i>

736
00:49:49,820 --> 00:49:53,219
Father and daughter,
on a wee trek

737
00:49:53,254 --> 00:49:55,723
hiking the beautiful
wilderness in New Zealand.

738
00:49:55,758 --> 00:49:57,724
Is this what I'm seeing here?

739
00:49:57,760 --> 00:49:58,995
- Yeah.
- Course, it is.

740
00:50:02,333 --> 00:50:03,790
Hi, I'm...

741
00:50:03,826 --> 00:50:06,592
I'm Arnold and this is my
beautiful wife, Angelina.

742
00:50:06,628 --> 00:50:08,502
Long-suffering missus.

743
00:50:08,537 --> 00:50:10,034
I'm Strawn.

744
00:50:10,069 --> 00:50:11,401
And this is my biologi..., uh,

745
00:50:11,436 --> 00:50:13,301
M... my daughter, Mildred.

746
00:50:13,336 --> 00:50:16,577
Ooh. A real American person, eh?

747
00:50:16,613 --> 00:50:18,607
Yeah. I guess I am.

748
00:50:18,643 --> 00:50:20,680
I've never met
a real American before.

749
00:50:20,716 --> 00:50:21,949
I mean I've watched

750
00:50:21,985 --> 00:50:23,885
lots of American soap operas,
though.

751
00:50:23,920 --> 00:50:25,613
It's all she does all day,

752
00:50:25,648 --> 00:50:27,556
watch those bloody
American soap operas.

753
00:50:27,591 --> 00:50:29,451
They can be addictive.

754
00:50:29,487 --> 00:50:31,224
That's why they end
with cliffhangers.

755
00:50:31,260 --> 00:50:33,787
It's to make you desperate
to see the next episode.

756
00:50:33,822 --> 00:50:36,096
It's to make you watch
commercials, basically.

757
00:50:36,131 --> 00:50:38,692
That's how TV works.
It's sort of shameful.

758
00:50:38,727 --> 00:50:40,007
I mean, there should
be laws against it.

759
00:50:40,031 --> 00:50:41,301
It's disgusting.

760
00:50:47,944 --> 00:50:50,706
So, uh, you enjoying
New Zealand?

761
00:50:51,946 --> 00:50:53,445
I... I quite like it. I think.

762
00:50:55,643 --> 00:50:58,053
Well, we're heading down
to those,

763
00:50:58,089 --> 00:51:00,889
you know, the big rocks
where they made the movie

764
00:51:00,925 --> 00:51:03,420
where Liam Neeson
was the talking lion?

765
00:51:03,456 --> 00:51:05,719
- Oh.
- Why don't you join us,

766
00:51:05,754 --> 00:51:08,361
I could do with some
grown-up conversation.

767
00:51:09,466 --> 00:51:10,495
So could I.

768
00:51:13,131 --> 00:51:15,662
So, tell me everything.

769
00:51:15,697 --> 00:51:18,332
What's it like growing
up in America?

770
00:51:18,367 --> 00:51:19,866
I'd love to tell you,

771
00:51:19,901 --> 00:51:23,239
but since I've never
set foot on American soil,

772
00:51:23,274 --> 00:51:24,612
I don't have a bloody clue.

773
00:51:24,647 --> 00:51:25,747
But your dad...

774
00:51:25,782 --> 00:51:27,545
He lives there. I live here.

775
00:51:29,052 --> 00:51:30,355
Don't you want
to live there with him?

776
00:51:30,379 --> 00:51:32,419
I mean, if I was a kid,

777
00:51:32,454 --> 00:51:35,984
much rather grow up in America
than boring old New Zealand.

778
00:51:36,020 --> 00:51:37,286
Let's see.

779
00:51:37,321 --> 00:51:39,661
I don't like assault rifles.

780
00:51:39,696 --> 00:51:41,091
I don't like high-fives.

781
00:51:41,126 --> 00:51:42,692
I don't like corn syrup.

782
00:51:42,727 --> 00:51:45,927
I don't like people who say,
"buddy", or "hell, yeah."

783
00:51:45,962 --> 00:51:49,061
And I despise the word "dude"
with every atom of my being.

784
00:51:51,239 --> 00:51:53,698
I'm not sure America
has much to offer me.

785
00:51:53,734 --> 00:51:55,336
You don't...

786
00:51:55,371 --> 00:51:56,904
Talk like a normal child?

787
00:51:58,110 --> 00:51:59,506
I know.

788
00:51:59,542 --> 00:52:01,079
So, what's your trade?

789
00:52:01,114 --> 00:52:02,346
I'm an illusionist.

790
00:52:02,381 --> 00:52:04,483
Illusionist? What, like,
like a magician?

791
00:52:06,119 --> 00:52:08,118
- Yeah.
- Like David Blaine?

792
00:52:08,153 --> 00:52:10,124
Oh, man. I adore him.

793
00:52:10,160 --> 00:52:13,420
Like, he is literally magical.
Don't you think?

794
00:52:13,456 --> 00:52:14,655
Like, nothing comes close.

795
00:52:14,690 --> 00:52:16,621
Nothing even comes close
to close to him.

796
00:52:16,657 --> 00:52:17,859
- Don't you think?
- Yeah.

797
00:52:19,196 --> 00:52:20,594
What about you?

798
00:52:20,630 --> 00:52:23,071
Me? I'm a...
I'm a heart surgeon.

799
00:52:23,106 --> 00:52:25,732
Yeah. I don't mean
to toot my own trombone,

800
00:52:25,768 --> 00:52:28,501
but I'm in the top five
heart surgeons

801
00:52:28,536 --> 00:52:30,202
in the whole of Oceania.

802
00:52:30,238 --> 00:52:31,573
Wow.

803
00:52:31,609 --> 00:52:33,177
I think I'm actually
impressed by that.

804
00:52:33,212 --> 00:52:35,112
A lot of people are, you know?

805
00:52:35,147 --> 00:52:36,513
And so they should be,

806
00:52:36,548 --> 00:52:37,764
It's an impressive job to have,
isn't it?

807
00:52:37,788 --> 00:52:39,622
Like, literally, I save lives.

808
00:52:39,657 --> 00:52:41,056
If somebody was dying

809
00:52:41,091 --> 00:52:42,597
and I end up being there,
I save their life.

810
00:52:42,621 --> 00:52:45,384
So, if anything...
I'm the magician round here.

811
00:52:46,695 --> 00:52:47,724
No offense.

812
00:52:52,530 --> 00:52:54,361
Good one.

813
00:52:54,396 --> 00:52:55,527
Um...

814
00:52:56,906 --> 00:52:58,504
She's really good with kids, eh?

815
00:53:01,174 --> 00:53:02,904
Yeah. Well, some people are.

816
00:53:04,539 --> 00:53:05,577
Some people aren't.

817
00:53:14,424 --> 00:53:17,658
Listen, mate, there's something
I wanted to say to you.

818
00:53:17,693 --> 00:53:18,755
What's that?

819
00:53:20,358 --> 00:53:21,518
You've got to promise, you...

820
00:53:22,795 --> 00:53:24,915
are going to be cool, calm
and collected about it, eh?

821
00:53:25,802 --> 00:53:27,436
"Chillin" like Bob Dylan.

822
00:53:27,471 --> 00:53:29,334
Promise?

823
00:53:29,369 --> 00:53:31,438
Sure, yeah, I promise.
What is it?

824
00:53:34,878 --> 00:53:36,403
I've kidnapped your daughter.

825
00:53:39,816 --> 00:53:40,975
Excuse me?

826
00:53:43,047 --> 00:53:44,346
You see,

827
00:53:44,381 --> 00:53:45,612
I know it doesn't look

828
00:53:45,648 --> 00:53:48,287
like a conventional kidnapping.

829
00:53:48,322 --> 00:53:51,222
But a kidnapping
is exactly what it is.

830
00:53:54,996 --> 00:53:56,025
I... I don't understand.

831
00:53:56,060 --> 00:53:57,695
Well...

832
00:53:58,703 --> 00:53:59,961
She's in my custody.

833
00:54:01,534 --> 00:54:03,174
And I'm going to make
some demands of you.

834
00:54:03,203 --> 00:54:04,603
And if those demands aren't met,

835
00:54:06,205 --> 00:54:07,540
she stays in my custody.

836
00:54:09,077 --> 00:54:11,709
Until I, uh, cut her loose.

837
00:54:16,149 --> 00:54:17,716
'Cause let's be honest,

838
00:54:17,752 --> 00:54:20,781
that's a lot of dead weight to
be carrying around this terrain.

839
00:54:20,817 --> 00:54:23,219
Especially with my bad back.

840
00:54:23,254 --> 00:54:24,656
Sorry, no filter.

841
00:54:26,321 --> 00:54:27,362
So, um...

842
00:54:28,492 --> 00:54:30,464
In case you get any funny ideas,

843
00:54:31,529 --> 00:54:33,060
just like you to know that, um,

844
00:54:34,971 --> 00:54:36,637
I'm a black belt in karate.

845
00:54:37,708 --> 00:54:38,739
Are you really?

846
00:54:38,775 --> 00:54:39,836
Yes I am really.

847
00:54:41,537 --> 00:54:42,608
I don't believe you.

848
00:54:43,606 --> 00:54:44,742
Well, you should believe me.

849
00:54:45,783 --> 00:54:46,882
Then do a karate move.

850
00:54:46,917 --> 00:54:49,275
I'm not some dancing monkey boy.

851
00:54:49,311 --> 00:54:51,751
- I don't do moves on demand.
- Because you don't know karate.

852
00:54:53,117 --> 00:54:54,251
Right.

853
00:54:54,286 --> 00:54:56,452
I'm not doing any moves.

854
00:54:56,487 --> 00:54:58,019
But I'll show you something.

855
00:55:01,397 --> 00:55:03,299
Have a look at that
and commit that to memory.

856
00:55:04,801 --> 00:55:05,829
#There it is.

857
00:55:07,703 --> 00:55:08,997
A belt.

858
00:55:10,070 --> 00:55:11,098
What color is it?

859
00:55:14,711 --> 00:55:15,843
It's black.

860
00:55:15,878 --> 00:55:17,438
That's correct.

861
00:55:17,473 --> 00:55:18,681
The belt is black.

862
00:55:18,716 --> 00:55:21,209
As in black belt.

863
00:55:21,244 --> 00:55:22,779
As in...

864
00:55:22,814 --> 00:55:26,014
I can karate the living shite
clean out of you.

865
00:55:27,923 --> 00:55:29,490
And if I choose

866
00:55:29,525 --> 00:55:31,987
to karate the living
shit clean out of you, I will.

867
00:55:33,963 --> 00:55:35,861
If you mess me about it.

868
00:55:35,896 --> 00:55:37,632
<i>Capisce?</i>

869
00:55:37,667 --> 00:55:38,864
Mm-hmm.

870
00:55:38,899 --> 00:55:40,025
Alright.

871
00:55:40,060 --> 00:55:41,969
Let's get down
to the nitty-gritty

872
00:55:42,004 --> 00:55:43,663
of what I want from you.

873
00:55:43,698 --> 00:55:45,808
What do you want from me?

874
00:55:45,843 --> 00:55:48,042
Well, your valuables.

875
00:55:48,077 --> 00:55:50,003
You can't be serious.

876
00:55:50,038 --> 00:55:52,009
As serious as
cancer-rhythm-is-a-dancer,

877
00:55:52,045 --> 00:55:53,074
my friend.

878
00:55:54,382 --> 00:55:55,862
Have you ever had
a blood transfusion?

879
00:55:56,753 --> 00:55:58,043
What? Yeah.

880
00:55:58,078 --> 00:56:00,246
Well, see this as
a bag transfusion.

881
00:56:03,320 --> 00:56:04,552
You transfer

882
00:56:04,587 --> 00:56:05,757
the contents of your bag

883
00:56:06,724 --> 00:56:09,125
into my bag.

884
00:56:09,160 --> 00:56:10,628
Okay?

885
00:56:10,664 --> 00:56:12,960
So why don't we start
with the mobile phone?

886
00:56:12,996 --> 00:56:16,000
Or as you yanks like to call it,
your "cellular"?

887
00:56:16,035 --> 00:56:17,868
Come on.

888
00:56:20,741 --> 00:56:23,077
Do I need to remind you
that a black belt in karate

889
00:56:23,112 --> 00:56:24,303
has kidnapped your daughter?

890
00:56:27,411 --> 00:56:28,450
Thanking you.

891
00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:30,845
Uh, passcode, please.

892
00:56:30,880 --> 00:56:31,961
Okay, please.
You don't need the...

893
00:56:31,985 --> 00:56:33,081
Passcode?

894
00:56:35,857 --> 00:56:36,991
1981.

895
00:56:37,026 --> 00:56:39,428
It's the year I was born.

896
00:56:39,463 --> 00:56:41,490
Hey, just please don't look
at any of the photos.

897
00:56:41,525 --> 00:56:43,195
Okay, that's all I ask.

898
00:56:44,564 --> 00:56:46,528
I wasn't going
to look at the photos.

899
00:56:46,564 --> 00:56:47,796
But now you mentioned it...

900
00:56:47,831 --> 00:56:49,331
No, no, no.
Please, please don't.

901
00:56:49,367 --> 00:56:50,406
Ooh!

902
00:56:54,344 --> 00:56:55,904
You're a strange little man,
aren't you?

903
00:56:57,239 --> 00:56:58,782
You do know there's a pump
you can get for that,

904
00:56:58,806 --> 00:57:00,913
and apparently it works?

905
00:57:00,948 --> 00:57:02,245
Mm-hm.

906
00:57:02,281 --> 00:57:04,376
Okay. Camera?

907
00:57:06,646 --> 00:57:07,918
Please.

908
00:57:09,355 --> 00:57:11,458
Please. Don't do this.

909
00:57:11,494 --> 00:57:12,832
This is my daughter's.
It means a lot to her.

910
00:57:12,856 --> 00:57:15,292
Yeah, and it'll mean
a lot to me too.

911
00:57:18,060 --> 00:57:19,759
But I'll call the cops.
I know your names.

912
00:57:19,794 --> 00:57:21,727
What, um...

913
00:57:21,763 --> 00:57:23,465
Arnold and Angelina?

914
00:57:23,500 --> 00:57:26,902
Have a wee think.

915
00:57:26,937 --> 00:57:28,906
Where have you heard
those names before?

916
00:57:30,780 --> 00:57:32,512
I...

917
00:57:32,547 --> 00:57:36,381
Arnold Schwarzenegger
and Angelina Jolie?

918
00:57:36,416 --> 00:57:38,645
And what do they have in common?

919
00:57:38,681 --> 00:57:40,313
They're...

920
00:57:42,288 --> 00:57:43,322
Actors.

921
00:57:43,358 --> 00:57:45,386
And what do actors do?

922
00:57:45,421 --> 00:57:46,622
They...

923
00:57:46,657 --> 00:57:48,128
pretend to be other people.

924
00:57:49,791 --> 00:57:51,124
I... I know your job.

925
00:57:51,159 --> 00:57:53,128
You're one of the leading
heart surgeons.

926
00:57:56,900 --> 00:57:58,245
You're not a heart
surgeon, are you?

927
00:57:58,269 --> 00:57:59,734
No.

928
00:57:59,769 --> 00:58:01,376
Well, I know what you look like.

929
00:58:01,412 --> 00:58:03,243
The... the cops will do
a composite sketch.

930
00:58:03,279 --> 00:58:05,441
I'll just go home, cut my hair,

931
00:58:05,477 --> 00:58:07,038
shave off my beard,

932
00:58:07,073 --> 00:58:08,275
and nobody will recognize me.

933
00:58:09,646 --> 00:58:10,778
What about Angelina?

934
00:58:10,814 --> 00:58:12,653
She'll shave her beard off too.

935
00:58:15,190 --> 00:58:17,350
Anyhoo. Wallet. Come on.

936
00:58:21,160 --> 00:58:22,293
Grazie.

937
00:58:22,328 --> 00:58:24,823
Angelina, darling.

938
00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:27,269
Well.

939
00:58:27,304 --> 00:58:29,194
- I think you can finish this.
- Yeah.

940
00:58:29,229 --> 00:58:30,935
I'll see what those two
are up to.

941
00:58:32,702 --> 00:58:34,906
Goodbye.

942
00:58:36,947 --> 00:58:38,338
We all done here?

943
00:58:38,373 --> 00:58:40,016
Yeah, it was quite
a painless operation.

944
00:58:43,921 --> 00:58:46,148
Ooh. Nice rod.

945
00:58:47,156 --> 00:58:48,888
- There you go.
- Mm.

946
00:58:48,923 --> 00:58:51,323
Bet ya that's the first time
a woman's ever said that to you.

947
00:58:52,023 --> 00:58:53,637
Please don't take that.
It's my daughter's.

948
00:58:53,661 --> 00:58:56,298
My nephew is desperate
for a fishing rod.

949
00:58:56,333 --> 00:58:58,800
That's his
birthday present's sorted.

950
00:58:58,835 --> 00:59:00,135
Thanks.

951
00:59:00,170 --> 00:59:02,395
Grab their matches and map.

952
00:59:02,431 --> 00:59:04,702
That'll slow 'em down.

953
00:59:04,738 --> 00:59:06,734
You are a criminal
mastermind, my love.

954
00:59:08,906 --> 00:59:10,114
Wanna show you something.

955
00:59:10,138 --> 00:59:12,543
I used to charge
my mates at school,

956
00:59:12,578 --> 00:59:13,978
a dollar a time to see this.

957
00:59:17,554 --> 00:59:19,163
You don't want to see
what he used to charge

958
00:59:19,187 --> 00:59:20,419
two bucks to see.

959
00:59:20,454 --> 00:59:22,057
What if I come after you, huh?

960
00:59:22,092 --> 00:59:23,556
Aw.

961
00:59:23,591 --> 00:59:25,352
You just don't seem
like the type.

962
00:59:28,989 --> 00:59:30,656
You want me to get this?

963
00:59:30,691 --> 00:59:31,732
Yeah.

964
00:59:35,437 --> 00:59:37,004
<i>Kia or a!</i>

965
01:00:00,792 --> 01:00:02,032
Hey, where'd they go?

966
01:00:02,899 --> 01:00:03,962
Hey!

967
01:00:15,002 --> 01:00:17,305
Not to get mushy, but...

968
01:00:19,810 --> 01:00:22,283
today's been a bloody great day.

969
01:00:22,318 --> 01:00:23,614
I have to tell you something.

970
01:00:23,649 --> 01:00:25,410
You're gonna get mushy, too?

971
01:00:25,445 --> 01:00:27,117
You have to promise
that you'll stay...

972
01:00:28,587 --> 01:00:30,157
cool,

973
01:00:30,193 --> 01:00:32,785
calm and collected.

974
01:00:32,820 --> 01:00:33,920
You promise?

975
01:00:33,955 --> 01:00:36,390
Yes. Okay, I promise.

976
01:00:39,498 --> 01:00:40,735
They robbed us.

977
01:00:41,702 --> 01:00:43,900
- Pardon me?
- They kidnapped you.

978
01:00:43,935 --> 01:00:45,834
Yeah. Good one, Strawn.
Very funny.

979
01:00:45,869 --> 01:00:47,736
Seriously, where'd they go?

980
01:00:47,771 --> 01:00:49,040
They held you to ransom.

981
01:00:50,213 --> 01:00:52,005
They took my phone,

982
01:00:52,040 --> 01:00:54,840
my wallet, the map, the matches,

983
01:00:54,876 --> 01:00:56,751
fishing rod...

984
01:00:58,648 --> 01:00:59,853
the camera.

985
01:01:02,087 --> 01:01:04,820
I... I know it didn't feel like
a kidnapping,

986
01:01:04,855 --> 01:01:07,157
but that's what just happened.

987
01:01:09,163 --> 01:01:10,391
Oh, God.

988
01:01:11,529 --> 01:01:12,659
I'm sorry.

989
01:01:15,766 --> 01:01:17,563
They took everything.

990
01:01:19,201 --> 01:01:22,876
The camera,
the proof, everything.

991
01:01:24,038 --> 01:01:28,610
And... you just let them?

992
01:01:28,646 --> 01:01:30,147
- I...
- Just...

993
01:01:31,320 --> 01:01:33,447
You just handed it over

994
01:01:35,082 --> 01:01:36,981
on a silver platter.

995
01:01:37,017 --> 01:01:38,457
I'm so sorry.

996
01:01:38,492 --> 01:01:39,959
Do I need to remind you

997
01:01:39,994 --> 01:01:43,457
that that camera footage
was going to save Mum and me

998
01:01:43,492 --> 01:01:45,861
from becoming another
depressing welfare statistic?

999
01:01:45,897 --> 01:01:48,396
It was going to save our lives.

1000
01:01:50,735 --> 01:01:52,397
You hate me, don't you?

1001
01:01:52,432 --> 01:01:54,037
I actually can't even
put into words

1002
01:01:54,073 --> 01:01:56,371
how much hate
I feel towards you right now.

1003
01:01:58,907 --> 01:02:00,778
You know what?

1004
01:02:00,814 --> 01:02:05,220
I can't<i> stand</i> the sight of you.

1005
01:02:05,255 --> 01:02:08,419
Your idiotic nail polish.

1006
01:02:08,455 --> 01:02:10,281
And your crap,

1007
01:02:10,317 --> 01:02:13,955
low-budget TV-magician clothes.

1008
01:02:13,990 --> 01:02:16,663
And your greasy, ratty hair

1009
01:02:16,699 --> 01:02:20,329
and these big, dumb,
dopey donkey eyes.

1010
01:02:21,567 --> 01:02:22,702
You know what?

1011
01:02:22,737 --> 01:02:26,472
You need to move
away from me right now...

1012
01:02:26,508 --> 01:02:28,200
What was I supposed to do?

1013
01:02:28,236 --> 01:02:30,574
- He was a karate master.
- Move...

1014
01:02:30,609 --> 01:02:33,344
away... from...

1015
01:02:33,380 --> 01:02:35,414
me... now.

1016
01:02:35,450 --> 01:02:37,080
Mildred, be serious.

1017
01:02:37,115 --> 01:02:39,348
Like, 20 paces.
Like we're in a duel. Go!

1018
01:02:47,495 --> 01:02:49,698
That wasn't 20 paces.

1019
01:02:49,733 --> 01:02:53,832
That was, like, 11 paces.
And I can still see you.

1020
01:02:53,867 --> 01:02:56,666
Like a greasy smudge
on the world.

1021
01:02:56,702 --> 01:02:58,070
Bugger off, further.

1022
01:03:01,411 --> 01:03:02,705
It all makes sense now.

1023
01:03:02,740 --> 01:03:04,107
What makes sense?

1024
01:03:04,142 --> 01:03:06,077
Why you don't have
any friends at school.

1025
01:03:06,113 --> 01:03:08,445
Why your mother never
wants to take you camping.

1026
01:03:08,481 --> 01:03:09,749
Excuse me?

1027
01:03:09,784 --> 01:03:12,412
You know, this entire trip,

1028
01:03:12,447 --> 01:03:14,888
you've been nothing
but a grade-A D-bag.

1029
01:03:14,923 --> 01:03:16,633
Yeah? Well, it takes one,
to know one, doesn't it?

1030
01:03:16,657 --> 01:03:19,594
A pretentious, prickly runt.

1031
01:03:19,629 --> 01:03:20,635
I know you are.
You said you were.

1032
01:03:20,659 --> 01:03:21,687
So, what am I?

1033
01:03:24,300 --> 01:03:25,493
You're an asshole.

1034
01:03:31,434 --> 01:03:34,039
Twenty paces? You know what?
Let's make it 50.

1035
01:03:34,075 --> 01:03:38,203
You know? Screw that.
A hundred and fifty paces.

1036
01:03:38,238 --> 01:03:41,716
One, two, three, four,

1037
01:03:41,752 --> 01:03:45,485
five, six, seven, eight, nine,

1038
01:03:45,520 --> 01:03:47,722
ten, eleven, twelve...

1039
01:03:47,757 --> 01:03:51,926
thirteen, fourteen,
fifteen, sixteen...

1040
01:03:54,023 --> 01:03:58,991
119, 120, 121, 122...

1041
01:03:59,027 --> 01:04:01,661
123...

1042
01:04:05,266 --> 01:04:06,867
You can never do anything right.

1043
01:04:06,902 --> 01:04:07,942
Ungrateful.

1044
01:04:19,848 --> 01:04:21,620
Mildred!

1045
01:04:26,855 --> 01:04:27,896
Hello?

1046
01:04:33,159 --> 01:04:34,830
Oh!

1047
01:04:44,246 --> 01:04:45,510
Hello!

1048
01:05:19,376 --> 01:05:22,245
What's the matter,
Mr. Twizted Illusions?

1049
01:05:22,280 --> 01:05:24,679
Got scared in the big,
dark, spooky stones?

1050
01:05:24,715 --> 01:05:25,745
No.

1051
01:05:28,622 --> 01:05:30,984
Yeah. Okay, I did.

1052
01:05:31,019 --> 01:05:32,084
I got lost.

1053
01:05:32,120 --> 01:05:33,220
I hurt my ankle.

1054
01:05:33,255 --> 01:05:34,958
And I heard some weird sounds.

1055
01:05:34,993 --> 01:05:36,490
That made me very uncomfortable.

1056
01:05:36,525 --> 01:05:38,531
Listen to me.
We have two options.

1057
01:05:38,567 --> 01:05:41,093
Yeah? And they are?

1058
01:05:41,128 --> 01:05:42,536
Live or die.

1059
01:05:42,571 --> 01:05:44,395
It really is that simple.

1060
01:05:44,431 --> 01:05:45,903
Now, don't know about you,

1061
01:05:45,939 --> 01:05:47,799
but I would quite like to live.

1062
01:05:47,834 --> 01:05:51,038
And I plan on getting
that 50 grand back too.

1063
01:05:51,074 --> 01:05:52,277
With or without you.

1064
01:05:57,247 --> 01:05:59,878
We are days away from anywhere.

1065
01:05:59,913 --> 01:06:04,121
We have no food, no map,
no fishing rod, no matches.

1066
01:06:04,156 --> 01:06:05,461
- They took...
- Everything.

1067
01:06:05,485 --> 01:06:07,325
I know. They took everything.

1068
01:06:09,289 --> 01:06:11,692
So? What now?

1069
01:06:11,727 --> 01:06:14,497
Are you familiar with
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs?

1070
01:06:16,940 --> 01:06:21,400
Abraham Maslow, 1943,
The Hierarchy of Needs.

1071
01:06:21,435 --> 01:06:23,170
At the base of the pyramid,

1072
01:06:23,205 --> 01:06:24,371
fundamental human needs,

1073
01:06:24,407 --> 01:06:27,010
the very foundations
of survival,

1074
01:06:27,045 --> 01:06:30,418
warmth, shelter, food and water.

1075
01:06:30,453 --> 01:06:33,244
Shelter, we have.

1076
01:06:33,280 --> 01:06:35,287
Warmth, we have.

1077
01:06:35,323 --> 01:06:39,090
All things considered, we're off
to a pretty good start.

1078
01:06:39,125 --> 01:06:42,827
Now, as calories
are in short supply,

1079
01:06:42,862 --> 01:06:45,297
I suggest we make camp...

1080
01:06:47,064 --> 01:06:48,198
by that lake down there.

1081
01:06:48,234 --> 01:06:52,205
We'll have food and water
on our doorstep.

1082
01:06:52,240 --> 01:06:55,201
We can plot our next move
from there with clear heads

1083
01:06:55,236 --> 01:06:56,605
and full bellies.

1084
01:06:58,372 --> 01:06:59,608
Now, tell me, Strawn,

1085
01:07:01,418 --> 01:07:02,611
Can you whittle?

1086
01:07:03,584 --> 01:07:04,745
Can I what?

1087
01:07:31,144 --> 01:07:33,745
Keep going.
You're getting there.

1088
01:07:48,796 --> 01:07:50,725
Come... on...

1089
01:07:52,695 --> 01:07:54,968
- Get back, I've got this.
- You sure about that?

1090
01:07:55,003 --> 01:07:56,241
Yes, I'm sure about that.

1091
01:07:56,265 --> 01:07:57,831
I've read all about it.

1092
01:07:57,866 --> 01:07:59,378
What, just cause you
read about it doesn't mean you...

1093
01:07:59,402 --> 01:08:01,707
Silence. I need to concentrate.

1094
01:08:01,742 --> 01:08:03,177
Go and whittle.

1095
01:08:09,244 --> 01:08:11,046
How did you...

1096
01:08:11,081 --> 01:08:12,120
It's called magic.

1097
01:08:13,281 --> 01:08:15,321
The thumb flint.

1098
01:08:15,356 --> 01:08:18,284
"An essential weapon
in any illusionists arsenal."

1099
01:08:18,319 --> 01:08:19,688
Found a spare one.

1100
01:08:25,358 --> 01:08:26,563
Oh.

1101
01:08:28,327 --> 01:08:29,533
Christ.

1102
01:08:30,667 --> 01:08:33,700
Sorry. Guess I'm not
very good at whittling.

1103
01:08:33,735 --> 01:08:35,842
No, I didn't think you would be.

1104
01:08:35,877 --> 01:08:37,609
That's why I asked you to do it.

1105
01:08:37,644 --> 01:08:38,779
What?

1106
01:08:38,814 --> 01:08:40,540
I wanted to give you something

1107
01:08:40,576 --> 01:08:43,451
to occupy your mind,
to focus on.

1108
01:08:43,486 --> 01:08:45,313
It's worked.

1109
01:08:45,348 --> 01:08:46,622
You've calmed down, haven't you?

1110
01:08:46,646 --> 01:08:48,379
We're still stranded out here.

1111
01:08:48,415 --> 01:08:51,116
And... voila!

1112
01:08:51,152 --> 01:08:52,790
Oh.

1113
01:08:52,826 --> 01:08:54,594
I'm going in.

1114
01:08:54,630 --> 01:08:56,527
What?

1115
01:09:06,276 --> 01:09:08,516
What, you really think you're
gonna be able to catch a...

1116
01:09:12,078 --> 01:09:13,613
Look at this great big bugger!

1117
01:09:13,648 --> 01:09:16,079
Mmm.

1118
01:09:23,820 --> 01:09:25,635
Fancy a spot of tea, old chap?

1119
01:09:25,659 --> 01:09:26,993
Oh.

1120
01:09:27,029 --> 01:09:29,320
God, I would kill
for a cup of tea.

1121
01:09:29,355 --> 01:09:30,396
Well.

1122
01:09:32,569 --> 01:09:33,663
<i>Piper Excelsum.</i>

1123
01:09:34,729 --> 01:09:37,999
Known around these parts
as Kawakawa.

1124
01:09:38,034 --> 01:09:39,403
Kawakawa?

1125
01:09:39,438 --> 01:09:41,308
It has powerful
anti-septic properties.

1126
01:09:41,343 --> 01:09:44,911
And it happens to taste
scrump-diddly-umptious too.

1127
01:09:44,946 --> 01:09:46,313
Sling that down your gullet.

1128
01:09:50,577 --> 01:09:52,916
That's good. Really good.

1129
01:09:52,952 --> 01:09:54,013
Mm.

1130
01:09:58,452 --> 01:09:59,788
You know, Strawn?

1131
01:10:00,995 --> 01:10:02,054
I don't think less of you.

1132
01:10:03,733 --> 01:10:05,296
W... What?

1133
01:10:05,331 --> 01:10:07,059
That's what you're thinking,
isn't it?

1134
01:10:09,268 --> 01:10:12,064
That you... failed to be a man.

1135
01:10:15,209 --> 01:10:17,641
You crapped the bed
as a protector.

1136
01:10:20,313 --> 01:10:22,247
And your weakness put us
in grave danger.

1137
01:10:22,283 --> 01:10:24,943
And now, we're two
of the 8,000 people

1138
01:10:24,978 --> 01:10:26,848
who go missing
in New Zealand every year.

1139
01:10:28,857 --> 01:10:30,920
All because you're weak.

1140
01:10:30,956 --> 01:10:32,458
And naive.

1141
01:10:34,789 --> 01:10:36,495
And you refuse
to call to action.

1142
01:10:38,162 --> 01:10:39,498
Like a coward.

1143
01:10:41,827 --> 01:10:43,667
Is that what you really think?

1144
01:10:45,031 --> 01:10:47,066
No. No, that's what
I think<i> you</i> think.

1145
01:10:50,112 --> 01:10:51,512
What part of it isn't true?

1146
01:10:55,448 --> 01:10:57,318
God, I really messed
this up, didn't I?

1147
01:11:00,120 --> 01:11:01,685
I let him take everything.

1148
01:11:03,318 --> 01:11:04,785
I let him...

1149
01:11:04,821 --> 01:11:06,991
I just handed it to him
on a silver platter.

1150
01:11:07,027 --> 01:11:08,120
Just like you said.

1151
01:11:11,025 --> 01:11:14,192
You're talking about
Arnold or David Blaine?

1152
01:11:16,000 --> 01:11:17,869
Sorry.

1153
01:11:17,905 --> 01:11:18,933
Look.

1154
01:11:20,501 --> 01:11:21,569
We lost it all.

1155
01:11:21,604 --> 01:11:22,976
It's a kick in the head,
no doubt.

1156
01:11:23,011 --> 01:11:25,443
But we've got grub our guts,

1157
01:11:25,479 --> 01:11:28,244
air in our lungs,
and somewhere cozy to sleep.

1158
01:11:28,279 --> 01:11:29,748
We're not done yet, mate.

1159
01:11:29,783 --> 01:11:31,784
No way.

1160
01:11:31,820 --> 01:11:33,244
No flying way.

1161
01:11:42,224 --> 01:11:43,463
Mildred.

1162
01:11:45,568 --> 01:11:46,631
Yeah?

1163
01:11:48,937 --> 01:11:49,997
I'll look after you.

1164
01:12:36,313 --> 01:12:38,086
Ooh!

1165
01:12:38,121 --> 01:12:40,082
See these
black and green mushrooms?

1166
01:12:40,117 --> 01:12:41,912
Yeah.

1167
01:12:41,948 --> 01:12:44,551
Well, if we ever get separated,

1168
01:12:44,586 --> 01:12:45,657
don't ever eat those.

1169
01:12:46,829 --> 01:12:48,055
Why? What happens?

1170
01:12:49,399 --> 01:12:52,328
Full-body numbness,
hallucinations, possible nausea,

1171
01:12:52,363 --> 01:12:53,492
and projectile vomiting.

1172
01:12:53,528 --> 01:12:54,864
Ooh. Sounds fun.

1173
01:12:56,235 --> 01:12:58,335
I'm obviously kidding.

1174
01:12:58,370 --> 01:12:59,966
Don't do drugs. Drugs are bad.

1175
01:13:00,001 --> 01:13:02,168
Drugs tear families
and communities apart.

1176
01:13:04,408 --> 01:13:06,480
Ah, here we go.

1177
01:13:09,875 --> 01:13:11,947
<i>Pleurotus Parsonsaie.</i>

1178
01:13:12,988 --> 01:13:14,488
Velvet oyster mushrooms.

1179
01:13:19,820 --> 01:13:21,423
I've always wanted to try these.

1180
01:13:21,458 --> 01:13:23,591
Why? Looks disgusting.

1181
01:13:23,627 --> 01:13:25,457
You know what looks disgusting?

1182
01:13:25,492 --> 01:13:28,568
The corpses that have succumbed
to starvation in the wilderness.

1183
01:13:31,532 --> 01:13:32,572
Dead people.

1184
01:13:37,077 --> 01:13:38,809
Hey. What is it?

1185
01:13:40,443 --> 01:13:42,615
Mildred, you okay?

1186
01:13:49,421 --> 01:13:51,291
I have to tell you something.

1187
01:13:51,326 --> 01:13:54,291
It'll change the way
you look at me,

1188
01:13:54,326 --> 01:13:56,864
forever, probably, but...

1189
01:13:56,899 --> 01:13:57,962
I have to say it.

1190
01:13:57,997 --> 01:13:59,632
Okay.

1191
01:14:05,237 --> 01:14:06,606
I used to wish...

1192
01:14:08,870 --> 01:14:10,940
my mum would just disappear.

1193
01:14:14,215 --> 01:14:17,375
I'd... lie awake at night,

1194
01:14:19,151 --> 01:14:20,585
just hoping

1195
01:14:20,620 --> 01:14:22,347
that she wouldn't be there
when I woke up.

1196
01:14:26,324 --> 01:14:27,352
And you'd come.

1197
01:14:32,067 --> 01:14:33,298
And you'd understand me.

1198
01:14:33,333 --> 01:14:36,229
You'd<i> really</i> understand me.

1199
01:14:38,601 --> 01:14:40,002
Like she never could.

1200
01:14:43,213 --> 01:14:45,005
We'd do things together.

1201
01:14:45,041 --> 01:14:47,746
All the things
that Mum is too afraid to do.

1202
01:14:51,151 --> 01:14:52,179
Like, go camping.

1203
01:14:53,514 --> 01:14:55,085
Hunting.

1204
01:14:55,120 --> 01:14:56,790
Fishing.

1205
01:14:56,825 --> 01:14:58,453
You know?

1206
01:14:58,489 --> 01:15:00,286
Stuff of adventures.

1207
01:15:09,070 --> 01:15:10,934
And...

1208
01:15:13,241 --> 01:15:15,103
Maybe my wish did come true.

1209
01:15:18,905 --> 01:15:20,108
But in the wrong ways.

1210
01:15:28,648 --> 01:15:30,454
I...

1211
01:15:30,489 --> 01:15:32,483
I don't want my mum to go now.

1212
01:15:33,821 --> 01:15:35,156
I don't want her to go.

1213
01:15:41,368 --> 01:15:43,032
And as for you understanding me,

1214
01:15:50,706 --> 01:15:52,239
Here, have a tissue.

1215
01:17:19,894 --> 01:17:21,361
Is this what you wanted?

1216
01:17:22,333 --> 01:17:23,466
Toast!

1217
01:17:33,478 --> 01:17:35,408
Hey. What is it?

1218
01:17:41,023 --> 01:17:42,085
What is it?

1219
01:17:46,327 --> 01:17:47,860
I had a bad dream and...

1220
01:17:48,956 --> 01:17:50,390
And now I need to go wee.

1221
01:17:52,697 --> 01:17:54,163
I don't want to go on my own.

1222
01:17:55,499 --> 01:17:56,594
Yeah. Okay.

1223
01:17:57,734 --> 01:17:58,937
Let me get my boots.

1224
01:18:37,109 --> 01:18:38,850
Are supposed to
bring us together...

1225
01:18:38,874 --> 01:18:40,606
but at the moment,

1226
01:18:40,641 --> 01:18:43,448
all I want to be is a million
bloody miles away from you.

1227
01:18:47,146 --> 01:18:49,122
- It's them.
- Who?

1228
01:18:49,158 --> 01:18:50,791
Who'd you think?

1229
01:18:50,826 --> 01:18:52,670
The buggers who kidnapped me,
took our belongings,

1230
01:18:52,694 --> 01:18:54,755
left us for dead,
think you'd remember them?

1231
01:18:54,790 --> 01:18:56,187
What should we do?

1232
01:18:56,222 --> 01:18:58,595
- Isn't it obvious?
- Obvious?

1233
01:18:58,630 --> 01:18:59,929
No, it's not obvious.

1234
01:18:59,964 --> 01:19:02,368
In fact, it's very far
from obvious.

1235
01:19:02,403 --> 01:19:04,200
Hey. Where are you going?

1236
01:19:09,938 --> 01:19:10,976
- Wait here.
- Wha...

1237
01:19:12,073 --> 01:19:13,250
You snogged my sister

1238
01:19:13,274 --> 01:19:14,847
and I'm supposed
to just let it go.

1239
01:19:14,882 --> 01:19:17,015
How many times
do I got to tell ya...

1240
01:19:17,050 --> 01:19:19,376
but you just
put your head in the sand

1241
01:19:19,412 --> 01:19:20,564
and think
everything's gone away.

1242
01:19:20,588 --> 01:19:23,087
Go away.
Just ignoring everything.

1243
01:19:23,123 --> 01:19:25,622
- When we have to talk...
- Shut up, woman, for God's sake.

1244
01:19:25,657 --> 01:19:28,153
Just let it go. Please.

1245
01:19:28,188 --> 01:19:29,330
- All night.
- Let it go?

1246
01:19:29,365 --> 01:19:30,762
You've been at me all night.

1247
01:19:30,797 --> 01:19:32,927
You've snogged my sister.

1248
01:19:32,962 --> 01:19:34,359
You want me to just let it go.

1249
01:19:34,394 --> 01:19:36,969
Number one.
It was five years ago.

1250
01:19:37,004 --> 01:19:39,146
- Can you not let it go?
- My sister.

1251
01:19:39,170 --> 01:19:40,970
- Number two...
- My sister!

1252
01:19:41,005 --> 01:19:43,673
I was drunk.
She was drunk.

1253
01:19:43,708 --> 01:19:45,074
Number three.

1254
01:19:45,109 --> 01:19:48,175
She was terrible in bed,
her breath stunk...

1255
01:19:48,210 --> 01:19:50,882
Being an adult...
You know, I mean...

1256
01:19:50,917 --> 01:19:52,714
Relationships are just
so damn complicated.

1257
01:19:52,749 --> 01:19:54,379
Shh. Just listen.

1258
01:19:54,414 --> 01:19:56,119
Vomit-flavored
stick...

1259
01:19:56,155 --> 01:19:57,631
All I want to do
is just get some sleep.

1260
01:19:57,655 --> 01:19:59,723
Please. I beg you.

1261
01:19:59,758 --> 01:20:02,022
Yeah. Sweet dreams.

1262
01:20:02,057 --> 01:20:03,622
Ah, shut up, woman.

1263
01:20:03,657 --> 01:20:05,435
Wait. You're not seriously gonna
grab our stuff, are you?

1264
01:20:05,459 --> 01:20:07,532
I'm seriously going
to grab our stuff.

1265
01:20:07,567 --> 01:20:10,828
Okay. Here's the plan.

1266
01:20:10,863 --> 01:20:13,307
I'm going to grab their bag
and I'm gonna toss it to you.

1267
01:20:13,342 --> 01:20:14,974
Just like a rugby ball.

1268
01:20:15,009 --> 01:20:16,914
Then we're both just
going to sprint up to our tent.

1269
01:20:16,938 --> 01:20:18,405
- Yeah?
- What?

1270
01:20:18,440 --> 01:20:19,948
And lead them straight
back to our headquarters?

1271
01:20:19,972 --> 01:20:21,238
Oh, yeah.

1272
01:20:21,273 --> 01:20:22,707
You're totally right.

1273
01:20:25,010 --> 01:20:26,281
Okay.

1274
01:20:26,316 --> 01:20:28,212
I'm going to run up
to that high ground there.

1275
01:20:28,247 --> 01:20:29,213
What if they catch us?

1276
01:20:29,248 --> 01:20:30,491
- They won't.
- Why?

1277
01:20:30,526 --> 01:20:32,121
'Cause I'm gonna
throw their boots

1278
01:20:32,156 --> 01:20:34,361
into the bush and snap
the tent zipper off.

1279
01:20:34,396 --> 01:20:35,595
Okay. That's officially

1280
01:20:35,631 --> 01:20:36,640
the craziest thing
I've ever heard.

1281
01:20:36,664 --> 01:20:38,693
I know. I'm bloody jazzed, too.

1282
01:20:40,699 --> 01:20:41,827
Okay.

1283
01:20:41,863 --> 01:20:43,799
Hear that?

1284
01:20:43,834 --> 01:20:45,529
They're snoring already.

1285
01:20:45,564 --> 01:20:47,835
We need to move
with maximum speed

1286
01:20:47,871 --> 01:20:49,407
and maximum stealth.

1287
01:20:49,442 --> 01:20:51,008
Go. Go. Go.

1288
01:20:51,043 --> 01:20:52,737
- Wait, wait, wait.
- No, no, no.

1289
01:20:53,775 --> 01:20:55,476
Jesus!

1290
01:21:19,703 --> 01:21:22,074
Shh... shh.

1291
01:21:37,692 --> 01:21:40,255
Ah.

1292
01:21:40,291 --> 01:21:41,701
- What's going on?
- Go, Go!

1293
01:21:41,725 --> 01:21:43,429
Intruders!

1294
01:21:43,465 --> 01:21:44,662
You thieving swines!

1295
01:21:44,697 --> 01:21:45,959
I'm gonna kill youse!

1296
01:21:45,994 --> 01:21:47,902
I'll kill you! Ah!

1297
01:21:50,900 --> 01:21:52,269
Get them, Jethro.

1298
01:21:53,434 --> 01:21:55,508
It's our property now!

1299
01:21:59,711 --> 01:22:01,877
Come here, boy.

1300
01:22:01,912 --> 01:22:04,044
I'll kill youse! Kill ya!

1301
01:22:04,079 --> 01:22:05,719
That's my stuff!

1302
01:22:05,754 --> 01:22:08,047
- He's going to catch us!
- No, he's not.

1303
01:22:08,083 --> 01:22:09,917
How can you be sure?

1304
01:22:09,953 --> 01:22:11,684
Look at the ground!

1305
01:22:13,187 --> 01:22:14,528
Come back here!

1306
01:22:14,563 --> 01:22:16,524
Ah... Ah.

1307
01:22:21,126 --> 01:22:22,731
Here!

1308
01:22:24,734 --> 01:22:26,338
Ah!

1309
01:22:29,542 --> 01:22:31,344
Ah!

1310
01:22:41,324 --> 01:22:42,421
Ooh.

1311
01:22:48,159 --> 01:22:49,958
Listen, you muppets!

1312
01:22:49,994 --> 01:22:51,631
It wasn't personal before,

1313
01:22:51,667 --> 01:22:54,859
but it's<i> really</i> personal now!

1314
01:22:56,102 --> 01:23:00,473
Ohh, I've made
a catastrophic blunder.

1315
01:23:00,509 --> 01:23:02,334
What? Why?

1316
01:23:02,369 --> 01:23:04,675
I appeared to have led us...

1317
01:23:06,613 --> 01:23:07,842
To a cliff-edge.

1318
01:23:07,877 --> 01:23:08,906
Oh.

1319
01:23:18,953 --> 01:23:20,225
Um...

1320
01:23:27,566 --> 01:23:28,695
Well...

1321
01:23:30,232 --> 01:23:32,366
I guess we could hide out.

1322
01:23:32,402 --> 01:23:35,041
And slowly make
our way back to camp.

1323
01:23:35,076 --> 01:23:37,005
We need to make sure
we've still got the proof.

1324
01:23:37,041 --> 01:23:38,738
- Get the camera.
- Right.

1325
01:23:42,878 --> 01:23:43,908
Here.

1326
01:23:46,180 --> 01:23:47,351
<i>Okay.</i>

1327
01:23:48,447 --> 01:23:50,116
<i>Okay, Darling.</i>

1328
01:23:50,151 --> 01:23:51,383
<i>Looking great.</i>

1329
01:23:52,962 --> 01:23:54,538
<i>That's it, lovely,
give me a bit more hair.</i>

1330
01:23:54,562 --> 01:23:56,161
<i>How's that?</i>

1331
01:23:56,196 --> 01:23:57,667
<i>Oh, you
look beautiful. Just now...</i>

1332
01:23:57,691 --> 01:23:59,190
<i>Flick it, flick it
like your sister.</i>

1333
01:24:00,360 --> 01:24:01,592
<i>What did you say?</i>

1334
01:24:01,628 --> 01:24:02,808
<i>I said, flick your hair.</i>

1335
01:24:02,832 --> 01:24:04,104
<i>What?</i>

1336
01:24:07,543 --> 01:24:08,768
They recorded over it.

1337
01:24:13,376 --> 01:24:15,244
And they drained
the bloody battery.

1338
01:24:15,279 --> 01:24:17,810
Fifty grand.
Gone again.

1339
01:24:20,080 --> 01:24:21,384
Strawn?

1340
01:24:21,420 --> 01:24:24,288
We may have some more
pressing issues right now.

1341
01:24:24,324 --> 01:24:26,489
What could possibly
be more pressing than this?

1342
01:24:29,161 --> 01:24:31,697
Oh, this is definitely
more pressing.

1343
01:24:31,733 --> 01:24:33,661
Yeah, my thoughts exactly.

1344
01:24:35,434 --> 01:24:37,970
He looks hungry. They get bold
when they're hungry.

1345
01:24:38,005 --> 01:24:40,239
Maybe there's some
food in their bag.

1346
01:24:41,743 --> 01:24:43,201
Reach in slowly and have a look.

1347
01:24:46,210 --> 01:24:48,247
- Anything?
- Huh, huh.

1348
01:24:52,251 --> 01:24:53,945
Let's see if they like
ham sandwiches.

1349
01:25:11,907 --> 01:25:13,331
All right, come on.
We gotta move.

1350
01:25:16,271 --> 01:25:18,574
No!

1351
01:25:25,149 --> 01:25:27,214
Um, can panthers climb ropes?

1352
01:25:28,755 --> 01:25:29,887
No, they can't.

1353
01:25:29,922 --> 01:25:30,949
Alright, get on.

1354
01:25:33,991 --> 01:25:35,453
Go, go, go, go.

1355
01:25:41,332 --> 01:25:42,870
Don't stop moving.

1356
01:25:45,100 --> 01:25:46,503
Nice kitty!

1357
01:25:53,246 --> 01:25:56,945
Just keep going.

1358
01:25:56,980 --> 01:25:58,218
Don't stop!

1359
01:26:10,524 --> 01:26:12,126
He's trying to tear the rope!

1360
01:26:21,335 --> 01:26:22,908
Ah!

1361
01:26:22,943 --> 01:26:24,574
We're gonna make it.

1362
01:26:26,913 --> 01:26:28,746
Ow. Ow, my hands hurt.

1363
01:26:28,782 --> 01:26:30,378
I can't hold on.

1364
01:26:30,413 --> 01:26:31,529
- You can do it.
- Ah.

1365
01:26:31,553 --> 01:26:32,649
Keep going.

1366
01:26:32,685 --> 01:26:33,785
Ow!

1367
01:26:36,482 --> 01:26:37,549
I can't do it.

1368
01:26:37,584 --> 01:26:39,250
Yes, you can. You got this.

1369
01:26:44,527 --> 01:26:46,256
You've got it, it's okay.

1370
01:26:46,292 --> 01:26:47,333
Ah!

1371
01:26:49,934 --> 01:26:51,297
I'm coming.

1372
01:26:54,709 --> 01:26:56,041
Now, hold on!

1373
01:26:57,978 --> 01:26:59,378
No, no, no, no, no.

1374
01:27:00,714 --> 01:27:01,846
No!

1375
01:27:01,881 --> 01:27:03,107
Help me!

1376
01:27:04,114 --> 01:27:05,318
Help!

1377
01:27:06,779 --> 01:27:08,285
- Strawn!
- I'm coming.

1378
01:27:08,320 --> 01:27:11,923
Mildred!

1379
01:27:11,958 --> 01:27:13,824
I'm slipping.

1380
01:27:13,860 --> 01:27:15,519
Don't let go.

1381
01:27:15,555 --> 01:27:16,960
No!

1382
01:27:16,996 --> 01:27:18,122
No, no, no!

1383
01:27:20,964 --> 01:27:21,964
Hold on!

1384
01:27:22,000 --> 01:27:24,033
Strawn! Help!

1385
01:27:24,068 --> 01:27:26,200
Mildred!

1386
01:27:29,241 --> 01:27:31,606
Don't let go!

1387
01:27:31,642 --> 01:27:34,407
- Ah, I got you.
- No!

1388
01:27:34,442 --> 01:27:35,915
I got you. Look at me.

1389
01:27:35,950 --> 01:27:37,027
- Don't let it...
- Mildred!

1390
01:27:37,051 --> 01:27:38,813
- Mildred, look at me.
- Don't...

1391
01:27:41,321 --> 01:27:43,952
Wrist strength
of a professional wrestler.

1392
01:27:43,987 --> 01:27:45,325
Remember?

1393
01:27:48,863 --> 01:27:51,789
Now, just stay calm.

1394
01:27:51,825 --> 01:27:53,296
When you're ready,
I want you to...

1395
01:27:58,831 --> 01:28:00,673
No!

1396
01:28:48,480 --> 01:28:50,282
Mildred.

1397
01:28:53,386 --> 01:28:54,992
Ah!

1398
01:28:56,698 --> 01:28:57,727
Ah!

1399
01:29:01,636 --> 01:29:03,330
Mildred!

1400
01:29:05,403 --> 01:29:07,365
Strawn, help me,
help me, please!

1401
01:29:07,400 --> 01:29:08,633
Oh, God!

1402
01:29:08,668 --> 01:29:10,736
Don't move it.

1403
01:29:12,540 --> 01:29:14,343
- Jesus.
- Help!

1404
01:29:14,378 --> 01:29:15,772
It's gonna be okay, Mildred.

1405
01:29:15,807 --> 01:29:17,784
You're gonna be fine.

1406
01:29:17,820 --> 01:29:19,012
Mushrooms.

1407
01:29:20,149 --> 01:29:21,814
Huh?

1408
01:29:21,849 --> 01:29:23,163
Why are you talking
about mushrooms?

1409
01:29:23,187 --> 01:29:24,314
For the pain.

1410
01:29:26,089 --> 01:29:27,452
Please.

1411
01:29:27,487 --> 01:29:28,791
Right. Yeah.

1412
01:29:32,490 --> 01:29:35,534
Come on. Come on!

1413
01:29:40,235 --> 01:29:41,441
Ha!

1414
01:29:42,843 --> 01:29:44,543
Oh, damn it.

1415
01:29:45,772 --> 01:29:48,781
- Uh...
- Strawn!

1416
01:29:48,817 --> 01:29:50,210
Ah. Screw it!

1417
01:29:58,688 --> 01:30:01,621
I got all of them.
Um, which ones?

1418
01:30:01,656 --> 01:30:04,358
Green and... Green and black.

1419
01:30:04,394 --> 01:30:07,326
This? Are you sure?

1420
01:30:07,361 --> 01:30:08,666
Yeah.

1421
01:30:18,242 --> 01:30:19,446
Hold my hand.

1422
01:30:29,848 --> 01:30:31,821
I'm so... so sorry.

1423
01:30:42,165 --> 01:30:43,327
Mildred?

1424
01:30:55,983 --> 01:30:57,044
Wake up.

1425
01:30:59,953 --> 01:31:00,982
Hey there.

1426
01:31:02,682 --> 01:31:03,919
Welcome back.

1427
01:31:04,958 --> 01:31:06,020
Feel fizzy.

1428
01:31:12,297 --> 01:31:13,533
What are you thinking?

1429
01:31:14,668 --> 01:31:17,498
I'm thinking that,
between getting you kidnapped,

1430
01:31:17,533 --> 01:31:19,202
attacked by a panther,

1431
01:31:19,238 --> 01:31:20,700
thrown off a cliff,

1432
01:31:20,735 --> 01:31:23,042
and feeding you weird mushrooms,

1433
01:31:23,077 --> 01:31:24,542
I've secured my place

1434
01:31:24,578 --> 01:31:26,298
on the Mount Rushmore
of disappointing dads.

1435
01:31:27,312 --> 01:31:29,344
Yeah, that's great.

1436
01:31:29,379 --> 01:31:31,113
That's all great.

1437
01:31:31,149 --> 01:31:32,742
I'm great.

1438
01:31:32,778 --> 01:31:33,982
You're great.

1439
01:31:35,585 --> 01:31:37,485
The planet is really great.

1440
01:31:37,520 --> 01:31:39,922
It's all so bloody great.

1441
01:31:43,660 --> 01:31:45,023
Now might be a good time to get

1442
01:31:45,058 --> 01:31:47,629
that great, big,
bloody tree off my legs.

1443
01:31:47,664 --> 01:31:49,767
Come on, Dad.

1444
01:31:51,500 --> 01:31:53,204
What did you say?

1445
01:31:53,239 --> 01:31:55,168
Huh? Nothing.

1446
01:31:56,902 --> 01:31:58,105
You called me "Dad."

1447
01:31:59,143 --> 01:32:00,206
Did I?

1448
01:32:01,280 --> 01:32:02,648
Yeah, you did.

1449
01:32:09,483 --> 01:32:11,120
Ready?

1450
01:32:11,155 --> 01:32:12,317
Alright.

1451
01:32:20,802 --> 01:32:22,000
Come on.

1452
01:32:25,906 --> 01:32:27,400
Come on!

1453
01:32:30,936 --> 01:32:32,810
I... I can't do it.

1454
01:32:33,982 --> 01:32:35,376
It's too heavy.

1455
01:32:35,412 --> 01:32:36,715
Ace of diamonds.

1456
01:32:39,980 --> 01:32:41,621
- What?
- It's the magic trick...

1457
01:32:43,024 --> 01:32:44,085
on the window,

1458
01:32:45,157 --> 01:32:46,659
when we met.

1459
01:32:48,228 --> 01:32:51,389
I lied. I lied to you.

1460
01:32:55,432 --> 01:32:57,399
It was my card.

1461
01:32:59,702 --> 01:33:01,575
Come on, Dad. You can do this.

1462
01:33:04,941 --> 01:33:07,614
"Believe in magic,"
that's what you said.

1463
01:34:23,491 --> 01:34:25,087
I've had enough of camping.

1464
01:34:26,425 --> 01:34:27,694
Can we go home now?

1465
01:34:29,494 --> 01:34:30,620
What are the magic words?

1466
01:34:33,332 --> 01:34:34,624
I love you...

1467
01:34:35,764 --> 01:34:36,868
with all of my heart.

1468
01:34:51,275 --> 01:34:53,445
What are you doing?

1469
01:34:53,480 --> 01:34:55,324
Well, you might not
be familiar with this,

1470
01:34:55,348 --> 01:34:57,985
this is called
keeping your kit clean.

1471
01:34:58,020 --> 01:34:59,755
Just chuck it in the car.

1472
01:34:59,790 --> 01:35:01,959
You got to be kidding me.

1473
01:35:03,858 --> 01:35:06,093
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

1474
01:35:06,129 --> 01:35:08,299
Okay, look,
just shut up, Jethro.

1475
01:35:08,334 --> 01:35:09,401
Shut up for ever.

1476
01:35:09,436 --> 01:35:10,996
Okay, okay, I got it.

1477
01:35:11,031 --> 01:35:12,663
No, I'm driving.

1478
01:35:12,698 --> 01:35:14,965
Why do you keep banging on
about that? On and on and on?

1479
01:35:15,001 --> 01:35:17,075
I drive...

1480
01:35:17,110 --> 01:35:19,409
Oi, oi...

1481
01:35:19,445 --> 01:35:20,874
What are you doing?

1482
01:35:22,413 --> 01:35:23,445
Come here.

1483
01:35:23,480 --> 01:35:25,485
Ah... Oi...

1484
01:35:25,520 --> 01:35:27,543
That's my Plymouth!

1485
01:35:27,579 --> 01:35:29,388
Jethro, just grab the car.

1486
01:35:29,424 --> 01:35:31,751
Go easy on the clutch!

1487
01:35:31,787 --> 01:35:33,626
Useless!

1488
01:35:33,662 --> 01:35:37,555
Those bloody muppets
are even worse than us.

1489
01:35:38,797 --> 01:35:41,726
Ah! My God.
Oh, my God.

1490
01:35:45,204 --> 01:35:46,731
Whoo!

1491
01:35:46,767 --> 01:35:48,040
It's okay.

1492
01:35:49,267 --> 01:35:51,208
Everything's gonna be okay.

1493
01:35:51,244 --> 01:35:52,603
I promise.

1494
01:36:33,150 --> 01:36:35,653
Smile for your mum.
She'll never believe this.

1495
01:36:35,689 --> 01:36:37,147
Shouldn't you be
watching the road?

1496
01:36:37,182 --> 01:36:38,616
Dad?

1497
01:36:39,692 --> 01:36:41,126
Dad?

1498
01:36:41,161 --> 01:36:42,788
Oh, God!

1499
01:37:00,578 --> 01:37:01,606
Hm.

1500
01:37:33,304 --> 01:37:34,411
Dad?

1501
01:37:34,446 --> 01:37:35,706
Hm.

1502
01:37:51,530 --> 01:37:52,822
Mum.

1503
01:38:03,168 --> 01:38:04,375
Jonesie.

1504
01:38:18,818 --> 01:38:21,002
<i>Smile for your mum.
She'll never believe this.</i>

1505
01:38:21,026 --> 01:38:22,858
<i>Shouldn't you
be watching the road?</i>

1506
01:38:22,893 --> 01:38:24,297
<i>Dad!</i>

1507
01:38:24,332 --> 01:38:25,332
<i>Dad!</i>

1508
01:38:25,367 --> 01:38:26,629
<i>Oh, snap!</i>

1509
01:39:07,604 --> 01:39:10,505
<i>The hunt is on
for a mysterious black cat,</i>

1510
01:39:10,540 --> 01:39:13,373
<i>which was spotted prowling
on a Mid Canterbury farm.</i>

1511
01:39:13,409 --> 01:39:15,715
<i>Locals are convinced,
it was a panther.</i>

1512
01:39:15,750 --> 01:39:17,209
<i>Just looked like
a big, black cat,</i>

1513
01:39:17,244 --> 01:39:18,741
<i>really, it was yeah, just...</i>

1514
01:39:18,776 --> 01:39:20,779
<i>It's quite long,
had a big long tail...</i>

1515
01:39:20,815 --> 01:39:23,383
<i>Like, it had that cat walk,
you know, normally you can tell</i>

1516
01:39:23,418 --> 01:39:25,289
<i>the difference between
a dog and a cat.</i>

1517
01:39:25,325 --> 01:39:27,031
<i>But no, definitely, definitely
wouldn't have been a dog.</i>

1518
01:39:27,055 --> 01:39:28,594
<i>Cat poo with, um,</i>

1519
01:39:28,629 --> 01:39:31,124
<i>bits of fur or bone in it.</i>

1520
01:39:31,160 --> 01:39:34,256
<i>Um, perhaps remains of prey...</i>

1521
01:39:34,292 --> 01:39:35,331
<i>Hmm.</i>

1522
01:39:36,565 --> 01:39:38,697
<i>Yeah, I see it, I see it.
That's pretty big.</i>

1523
01:39:40,600 --> 01:39:42,799
<i>- That's not a cat.
- Hey?</i>

1524
01:39:42,835 --> 01:39:44,675
<i>- That isn't a cat.
- That's huge!</i>