1 00:00:01,102 --> 00:00:03,306 I can't believe you finally get a Saturday off... 2 00:00:03,340 --> 00:00:05,344 and we're spending our night looking at flowers. 3 00:00:05,377 --> 00:00:08,183 The Philadelphia Flower Show is an institution, Mark. 4 00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:09,319 People dress up for this. 5 00:00:09,352 --> 00:00:11,255 Uh. Excuse me? This is a $300-dollar 6 00:00:11,355 --> 00:00:13,795 Mitchell and Ness, okay. This is Eagles Couture. 7 00:00:14,462 --> 00:00:17,569 I mean, come on, hun. How cool is this? 8 00:00:18,237 --> 00:00:19,038 Yeah, it's alright. 9 00:00:19,105 --> 00:00:21,977 So, I'm thinking, Hamilton Horticourt, 10 00:00:22,077 --> 00:00:24,182 Guardians of the Garden, oh, and we gotta make 11 00:00:24,282 --> 00:00:26,754 sure we leave time at the end for the Frond Farewell. 12 00:00:26,854 --> 00:00:29,058 Okay, fine. Let's just make it quick though, okay. 13 00:00:29,058 --> 00:00:30,294 I wanna hit up a couple bars in 14 00:00:30,327 --> 00:00:32,599 Old City and get cheesesteaks at Jimangelo's. 15 00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:35,672 No, Mark. We need to get back at a reasonable time. 16 00:00:35,705 --> 00:00:36,641 Darren's home alone. 17 00:00:36,674 --> 00:00:38,678 Uh. He's 14, Tam. Okay, in the middle ages 18 00:00:38,711 --> 00:00:41,684 he'd already have like nine kids by now. He's fine. 19 00:00:41,717 --> 00:00:42,919 [doorbell] 20 00:00:42,953 --> 00:00:45,257 Who's down to get irresponsible! 21 00:00:46,426 --> 00:00:47,528 Bro! 22 00:00:48,731 --> 00:00:51,436 ♪ Well, I used to work in hot dog factory ♪ 23 00:00:51,470 --> 00:00:53,440 ♪ until them robots came along, ♪ 24 00:00:53,474 --> 00:00:55,344 ♪ and now there is no job for me, ♪ 25 00:00:55,344 --> 00:00:57,682 ♪ but I get three thousand bucks a month. ♪ 26 00:00:57,716 --> 00:01:02,324 ♪ Thanks to UBI. 27 00:01:02,358 --> 00:01:05,932 ♪ Now we're Universal Basic Guys. ♪ 28 00:01:05,965 --> 00:01:10,942 ♪ It may not sound like much, but we're still gonna try. ♪ 29 00:01:11,042 --> 00:01:15,518 ♪ We're just Universal Basic Guys. ♪ 30 00:01:20,060 --> 00:01:21,831 God these are like the smallest wings ever, 31 00:01:21,931 --> 00:01:23,132 what are they like from a pigeon? 32 00:01:23,266 --> 00:01:24,837 It's the Flower Show hon, not Hooters. 33 00:01:24,870 --> 00:01:26,072 Yeah. That's for sure. 34 00:01:26,105 --> 00:01:28,711 Stunning. Oh, how beautiful is that? 35 00:01:28,711 --> 00:01:29,947 Ohh, that's amazing. 36 00:01:29,980 --> 00:01:31,482 See? I told you it was cool. 37 00:01:31,517 --> 00:01:34,689 Yo Tam, they turned McGannihans into a throwing axe bar. 38 00:01:34,723 --> 00:01:35,558 Check this out. 39 00:01:35,691 --> 00:01:38,296 Ugh, Mark. Can we just enjoy this together? 40 00:01:38,330 --> 00:01:39,165 Sure, hon. My bad. 41 00:01:39,298 --> 00:01:41,269 I mean, who wants to throw axes when you can 42 00:01:41,303 --> 00:01:42,706 walk around looking at frickin' plants. 43 00:01:42,806 --> 00:01:45,210 They're not just plants. They're works of art. 44 00:01:45,243 --> 00:01:48,149 Ooh, Mark, Look! Flower Gritty! 45 00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:50,087 Uh, okay, not gonna lie, that is... 46 00:01:50,287 --> 00:01:51,355 that does excite me. 47 00:01:51,690 --> 00:01:54,128 Oh. And look over there. They got the plants from Mario. 48 00:01:54,128 --> 00:01:56,734 No frickin' way! Now we're talkin'. 49 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,437 So these things eat meat, right? 50 00:01:58,470 --> 00:02:00,541 Yes. Mostly small insects. 51 00:02:00,575 --> 00:02:02,579 They release enzymes that dissolve-- 52 00:02:02,613 --> 00:02:04,315 You ever feed these things chicken wings? 53 00:02:04,415 --> 00:02:05,818 No, sir. They would die. 54 00:02:05,885 --> 00:02:07,054 Ah. Interesting. 55 00:02:07,154 --> 00:02:09,325 Can I just uh, try? For science? 56 00:02:09,358 --> 00:02:10,595 -Ah! Are you kidding me?! 57 00:02:10,695 --> 00:02:13,199 What the hell, man? These are like 25 bucks. 58 00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:16,072 Bruh, you're wild for this. 59 00:02:16,172 --> 00:02:17,207 Yeah, boy! 60 00:02:17,241 --> 00:02:19,546 Um... we're not gonna get caught though, right? 61 00:02:19,579 --> 00:02:22,919 Relax. This is an old-school, tried and true prank. 62 00:02:23,053 --> 00:02:25,958 Guaranteed laughs, zero consequences. 63 00:02:26,058 --> 00:02:27,194 You've done this before? 64 00:02:27,294 --> 00:02:30,400 Pfft! C'mon man. I've been doing this since the 18th century. 65 00:02:30,433 --> 00:02:32,972 Still hilarious every time. 66 00:02:33,072 --> 00:02:34,475 Alright. Let's do it. 67 00:02:34,510 --> 00:02:35,678 My dude. 68 00:02:39,485 --> 00:02:41,288 Wait... where's pig number 2? 69 00:02:41,489 --> 00:02:43,093 Exactly. 70 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:45,664 Our patented sticky soil allows you to grow 71 00:02:45,731 --> 00:02:48,671 plants sideways or even upside-down. 72 00:02:48,704 --> 00:02:50,207 - Wow. - Very cool. 73 00:02:50,341 --> 00:02:53,313 Next up, a cutting-edge technology that 74 00:02:53,346 --> 00:02:57,522 will radically transform the plant space. 75 00:02:58,189 --> 00:03:00,093 Instant bonsai. 76 00:03:00,126 --> 00:03:02,431 -Oh wow! -That's unbelievable! 77 00:03:02,632 --> 00:03:05,370 Now, we all love a garden in the sunshine... 78 00:03:05,738 --> 00:03:09,078 but what if I told you, it could be even more stunning... 79 00:03:09,111 --> 00:03:10,648 at night? 80 00:03:10,682 --> 00:03:13,921 Genetically modified flowers for bioluminescence. 81 00:03:14,021 --> 00:03:17,361 Oh my God, dude. That's sick. It's like a blacklight poster. 82 00:03:17,394 --> 00:03:19,365 Yeah, looks like you're having fun at the 83 00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:21,570 lame old flower show after all, huh? 84 00:03:21,670 --> 00:03:22,572 Yo Tam, let's get out of here. 85 00:03:22,672 --> 00:03:24,643 Guardians of the Garden starts in 10 minutes. 86 00:03:24,710 --> 00:03:26,246 Don't want to miss it. -Wow...hahaha. 87 00:03:26,514 --> 00:03:29,520 In addition to pollinators, there are many other 88 00:03:29,620 --> 00:03:32,291 insects who help protect our fruits and vegetables. 89 00:03:32,391 --> 00:03:34,596 Ugh. Why hasn't Darren texted back? 90 00:03:34,630 --> 00:03:35,765 This is Grace. 91 00:03:35,865 --> 00:03:37,936 Who here knows what kind of insect she is? 92 00:03:37,969 --> 00:03:40,106 It's a Praying Mantis! It's a praying mantis. 93 00:03:40,140 --> 00:03:41,677 Uh... correct. 94 00:03:41,811 --> 00:03:44,816 Boom. Yeah, I watched a lot of bug fights on YouTube, so-- 95 00:03:44,849 --> 00:03:48,289 -What's up, plant people, who's ready to germinate... 96 00:03:48,389 --> 00:03:50,393 ...On the dance floor! 97 00:03:50,426 --> 00:03:52,064 Yo Tam. We gotta check that out. 98 00:03:52,131 --> 00:03:53,534 I dunno, Mark. It's getting late. 99 00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:54,737 We should probably head back. 100 00:03:54,837 --> 00:03:56,573 Aw c'mon. You dragged me to the flower show, 101 00:03:56,673 --> 00:03:58,410 and now you wanna leave before the big party? 102 00:03:58,544 --> 00:04:00,080 I just don't wanna be irresponsible. 103 00:04:00,147 --> 00:04:01,884 C'mon Tam, you've been a mom since we met. 104 00:04:01,917 --> 00:04:03,721 We never got to do any adventures together. 105 00:04:03,788 --> 00:04:05,558 It's not like we're sneaking off to Vegas. 106 00:04:05,658 --> 00:04:08,230 It's an 8 pm after-party at the frickin' Flower Show. 107 00:04:08,263 --> 00:04:10,400 Oh thank God. Darren says he's 108 00:04:10,434 --> 00:04:12,471 "watching a movie and going to bed early." 109 00:04:12,572 --> 00:04:15,310 See? Kid's 14 going on 60. It's all good. 110 00:04:16,112 --> 00:04:18,183 Orchid VIP passes? 111 00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:19,719 Oh well. Guess we tried. 112 00:04:19,786 --> 00:04:20,654 Whoa whoa whoa. 113 00:04:20,988 --> 00:04:23,561 You think a little velvet rope is gonna stop Mark Hoagies 114 00:04:23,594 --> 00:04:26,298 from having a crazy night with his wife? 115 00:04:26,365 --> 00:04:28,704 No way, José. I am getting us in. 116 00:04:28,771 --> 00:04:30,273 How you doin' bud. 117 00:04:30,373 --> 00:04:32,779 You look like a man familiar with the martial arts. 118 00:04:32,913 --> 00:04:34,014 Guilty as charged. 119 00:04:34,048 --> 00:04:35,317 Alright, so lemme ask you okay: 120 00:04:35,417 --> 00:04:37,955 Which insect would win in a death match? 121 00:04:38,055 --> 00:04:40,060 Tarantula or praying mantis? 122 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:42,030 Oh man, that's tough. 123 00:04:42,130 --> 00:04:44,268 Okay, so... it's a praying mantis, 124 00:04:44,302 --> 00:04:46,172 which means it's got God on it's side, 125 00:04:46,272 --> 00:04:47,742 and God doesn't make mistakes. 126 00:04:47,809 --> 00:04:50,614 But, it's hard to bet against the giant spider. 127 00:04:50,648 --> 00:04:53,721 So, I'm gonna go with... tarantula. 128 00:04:53,754 --> 00:04:55,958 Ehhh! Mantis. -What? No way. 129 00:04:56,025 --> 00:04:58,362 Dude, they're like the frickin' Jon Jones of bugs, yo. 130 00:04:58,396 --> 00:04:59,398 Check it out. 131 00:04:59,498 --> 00:05:02,204 Oh man... Ohoho! 132 00:05:02,337 --> 00:05:03,908 What's up, Slurp Heads?! 133 00:05:04,008 --> 00:05:07,347 Welcome to Smooth Talkers, the pod where we review 134 00:05:07,347 --> 00:05:10,855 blended bevs and chop it up about whatevs. 135 00:05:10,888 --> 00:05:13,594 Today, we're live at the Jinglepad! 136 00:05:13,660 --> 00:05:15,463 That's right. And we'll be reviewing the 137 00:05:15,564 --> 00:05:18,202 PB Mango Monster from Ramba Juice. 138 00:05:18,236 --> 00:05:22,310 Shall we? Let's... Slurp. It. Up. 139 00:05:22,512 --> 00:05:25,416 [Slurping] Mmm. 140 00:05:25,718 --> 00:05:26,653 Argh! 141 00:05:26,887 --> 00:05:28,757 Ooh! Careful! Ah-- If we make a mess, 142 00:05:28,757 --> 00:05:30,761 Andrea will never let me podcast here again. 143 00:05:30,861 --> 00:05:33,133 Sorry. I got startled by the pigs. 144 00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:36,105 Pigs? The hell?! 145 00:05:36,507 --> 00:05:39,412 Aaahh! Where's pig number two?! 146 00:05:39,746 --> 00:05:41,950 Brooo. This prank is goated. 147 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:45,390 See the Mantis is a striker, so the tarantula, 148 00:05:45,423 --> 00:05:47,595 all it needs to do is just sorta like shoot in, 149 00:05:47,629 --> 00:05:49,031 get him on the ground, right, 150 00:05:49,131 --> 00:05:50,802 and then just like, Bam Bam, 151 00:05:50,835 --> 00:05:52,639 just ground-and-pound him until he submits. 152 00:05:52,672 --> 00:05:54,242 Hello? What's the holdup? 153 00:05:54,275 --> 00:05:55,878 Oh, sorry. 154 00:05:56,245 --> 00:05:57,848 You're good. 155 00:05:59,553 --> 00:06:01,590 Ugh! Where's the second pig?! What are you doing? 156 00:06:01,690 --> 00:06:03,694 I thought you're going to help me get rid of them. 157 00:06:03,794 --> 00:06:05,598 It makes weird sounds when I get close. 158 00:06:05,698 --> 00:06:08,369 Aaghhhh. We have to find this pig! 159 00:06:08,537 --> 00:06:12,210 Holy crap, dude. This is unbelievable! 160 00:06:12,244 --> 00:06:13,748 Yeah, for sure... 161 00:06:13,781 --> 00:06:17,254 so like, maybe we wrap this up and go play Farm Crossing? 162 00:06:17,287 --> 00:06:19,291 What? Dude, things are just heating up. 163 00:06:19,325 --> 00:06:20,561 Yeah, I know-- Yeah, it's just... 164 00:06:20,628 --> 00:06:23,433 Y'know, David's been tweaking for like an hour. 165 00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,436 It's out of our hands now, my guy. 166 00:06:25,470 --> 00:06:26,806 Yeah... Heheh... 167 00:06:26,940 --> 00:06:29,044 Wai- Dude. Where are you going?! 168 00:06:31,415 --> 00:06:35,423 ♪ [dance] 169 00:06:42,572 --> 00:06:45,177 Would the lady like another Gin and Tulip? 170 00:06:45,277 --> 00:06:46,913 [giggles] Thanks, hun. 171 00:06:46,913 --> 00:06:48,183 This is so fun. 172 00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:49,919 Right? Yeah, it's pretty good. 173 00:06:50,019 --> 00:06:50,821 Hey big boy. 174 00:06:50,821 --> 00:06:53,260 Aw don't look at me like that, Tam. 175 00:06:53,293 --> 00:06:54,896 [giggles] Mark! 176 00:06:57,301 --> 00:06:58,303 Whoa! 177 00:06:58,336 --> 00:06:59,706 Watch it yo! 178 00:07:01,475 --> 00:07:03,213 Tam? Whoa! 179 00:07:03,346 --> 00:07:05,584 C'mere you big begonia! 180 00:07:12,231 --> 00:07:13,867 - Uh... Mark? - Huh? 181 00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:16,640 Is it me or did this room get bigger? 182 00:07:22,184 --> 00:07:24,455 Oh my God. We shrunk! 183 00:07:24,590 --> 00:07:25,958 Oho man. This is classic. 184 00:07:25,991 --> 00:07:28,598 This is not classic. It's a disaster. 185 00:07:28,631 --> 00:07:29,766 How do we undo this? 186 00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:31,904 Alright just calm down. It's all good. 187 00:07:32,004 --> 00:07:33,774 All we gotta do is hit that switch up there 188 00:07:33,841 --> 00:07:34,776 when we're ready to unshrink. 189 00:07:34,809 --> 00:07:37,214 Wait, what do you mean "ready to unshrink?" 190 00:07:37,347 --> 00:07:38,851 Hun, can we just take a second and 191 00:07:38,884 --> 00:07:41,222 acknowledge the crazy adventure we're having together? 192 00:07:41,288 --> 00:07:42,424 I mean this is a night out! 193 00:07:42,491 --> 00:07:44,529 I let myself go for one night... 194 00:07:44,563 --> 00:07:45,397 Oh c'mon, Tam. 195 00:07:45,598 --> 00:07:47,802 This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to be tiny! 196 00:07:47,902 --> 00:07:49,740 I've dreamed about this my whole life. 197 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:51,877 Well, if we don't find a way to that switch, 198 00:07:51,943 --> 00:07:54,549 it'll be more than dreams getting crushed. 199 00:07:57,121 --> 00:07:58,990 [doorbell] 200 00:08:00,059 --> 00:08:03,233 Tom Jonesly. Animal Control Special Task Force. 201 00:08:03,266 --> 00:08:04,502 You got a pig problem? 202 00:08:04,536 --> 00:08:05,905 Oh thank God. 203 00:08:05,939 --> 00:08:08,510 Wait. Why is this a "special task?" 204 00:08:08,643 --> 00:08:10,414 New strain of the swine flu. 205 00:08:10,548 --> 00:08:13,420 All porcine calls go through STF now. 206 00:08:13,554 --> 00:08:14,689 Swine flu? 207 00:08:14,722 --> 00:08:16,425 Smart move calling Animal Control. 208 00:08:16,459 --> 00:08:18,396 I thought you called Animal Control. 209 00:08:18,697 --> 00:08:20,366 Wait. You called Animal Control? 210 00:08:20,399 --> 00:08:23,106 Yeah, sorry look, I-- I just-- I kinda felt bad and-- 211 00:08:23,206 --> 00:08:27,615 Duuude. Epic move! It's about to go downnnn! 212 00:08:29,451 --> 00:08:31,489 Grab as much as you can. 213 00:08:31,523 --> 00:08:33,125 We need enough to climb to the switch. 214 00:08:33,226 --> 00:08:37,333 Gotta say uh, gathering dirt... Not on my tiny bucket list-- 215 00:08:37,635 --> 00:08:39,872 Holy macaroni. 216 00:08:43,078 --> 00:08:44,916 It's beautiful. 217 00:08:45,852 --> 00:08:47,956 Oh yeah, you gotta get in on this. 218 00:08:48,056 --> 00:08:49,693 Whoa! Yo. Uh... 219 00:08:49,726 --> 00:08:53,065 Hey bud, uh. You want some cream? Yeah? 220 00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:55,805 Mmm. There we go. Yum... 221 00:08:55,938 --> 00:08:58,042 You wanna be my insect friend? 222 00:08:58,075 --> 00:09:00,815 Aaahhhhh! Oh! Oh My God!!! Ow God! 223 00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:03,186 Mark! Oh my God! Hey. Get off of him! 224 00:09:03,319 --> 00:09:05,891 Ow! Get off! Argh! Get off! 225 00:09:06,292 --> 00:09:07,460 Thats my husband! 226 00:09:08,229 --> 00:09:12,004 Whoa so yeah, that is uh "Not" like what happens in the movie. 227 00:09:12,037 --> 00:09:14,040 Uhh... 228 00:09:15,243 --> 00:09:17,081 - Oh God! - Ahhh!! 229 00:09:17,181 --> 00:09:18,316 Whoa! What the-? 230 00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:20,654 Hear you got an ant problem. 231 00:09:22,324 --> 00:09:24,962 Woah. Hohoho oh man. 232 00:09:28,570 --> 00:09:30,775 Uh... thanks... uh... 233 00:09:30,875 --> 00:09:31,877 - Kaia. - How did you--? 234 00:09:31,943 --> 00:09:33,312 Ah-- No time for small talk. 235 00:09:33,412 --> 00:09:34,750 Dead ants release alarm pheromones. 236 00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:36,754 We gotta move before the whole colony shows up. 237 00:09:36,787 --> 00:09:39,859 Uh, whole colony? Yeah. Hope. Uh, time to go. 238 00:09:43,466 --> 00:09:45,136 - You doing a podcast? - Yes. 239 00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:48,008 Nice. Yeah me and my buddy do one where we watch 80's 240 00:09:48,075 --> 00:09:49,780 movies and talk about the boobies. 241 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:53,521 Oh wow, that's a... uh yeah, that's a topic. 242 00:09:53,587 --> 00:09:54,589 - No sign of pig two. 243 00:09:55,057 --> 00:09:58,296 Okay, so I guess maybe there wasn't a pig number 2 after all. 244 00:09:58,329 --> 00:10:01,636 Let me tell you something, pal. I've been doing this for over 245 00:10:01,670 --> 00:10:03,607 30 years and if there's one thing I've learned-- 246 00:10:03,641 --> 00:10:06,780 there is "Always" a pig number two. 247 00:10:06,947 --> 00:10:09,786 Phillips, get me the CDC and the FBI. 248 00:10:09,886 --> 00:10:13,693 Hendricks, coffee run. It's gonna be a long night. 249 00:10:16,332 --> 00:10:17,802 Nice place you got here. 250 00:10:17,902 --> 00:10:19,639 Thanks. Found it after Sneaker-Con. 251 00:10:19,672 --> 00:10:21,910 Oh wow. It's so cute. 252 00:10:21,944 --> 00:10:24,247 I love how you turned all the little things into, 253 00:10:24,381 --> 00:10:25,216 like... big things. 254 00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:27,755 Yo I gotta say man, those ants are no joke, phew. 255 00:10:27,788 --> 00:10:29,458 Pfft. Those are nothing. 256 00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:31,797 Spiders, on the other hand, watch out. 257 00:10:31,930 --> 00:10:33,466 Oh... Spiders. Um, okay. 258 00:10:33,567 --> 00:10:36,038 Uh yo actually can I get one of those blades over there? 259 00:10:36,204 --> 00:10:38,644 Oh wow what is this like uh, shark tooth or something? 260 00:10:38,744 --> 00:10:40,681 - Toenail clipping. - Ugh. 261 00:10:40,781 --> 00:10:42,618 Gotta be resourceful when you're the size of 262 00:10:42,651 --> 00:10:45,323 a chess piece, right? Edamame? 263 00:10:45,390 --> 00:10:46,826 Oh, thank you. 264 00:10:47,093 --> 00:10:50,099 Uh, I'm gonna pass. Uh, having some uh... stomach issues. 265 00:10:50,199 --> 00:10:52,539 Maybe it was the handfuls of cream filling you ate. 266 00:10:52,705 --> 00:10:54,041 Ooh yeah. That's a no-no. 267 00:10:54,074 --> 00:10:57,347 Processed sugars: Impossible to digest at this size. 268 00:10:57,380 --> 00:10:59,953 Gotta be real careful about what you put in your body out here. 269 00:10:59,986 --> 00:11:02,958 Ugh come on. That's like the best part of being small. 270 00:11:03,058 --> 00:11:04,629 Man when you're this small, 271 00:11:04,729 --> 00:11:06,733 literally everything can kill you. 272 00:11:06,766 --> 00:11:08,269 One wrong move, and your rat food. 273 00:11:08,302 --> 00:11:11,442 Just the other day I almost died when somebody dropped a mint. 274 00:11:11,577 --> 00:11:12,945 Every day is a new adventure. 275 00:11:12,978 --> 00:11:14,549 Oh yeah. Sounds great. 276 00:11:14,949 --> 00:11:16,553 So, how'd you end up small? 277 00:11:16,587 --> 00:11:18,456 Well same as you, I'm guessing. 278 00:11:18,489 --> 00:11:19,559 I snuck into the instant 279 00:11:19,659 --> 00:11:21,563 bonzai tree thingy at last year's show. 280 00:11:21,596 --> 00:11:23,132 And you don't want to get big again? 281 00:11:23,166 --> 00:11:27,575 Heh. What's the rush? I'm 25, I've got no attachments, 282 00:11:27,675 --> 00:11:30,013 I'm just enjoying what life throws my way. 283 00:11:30,046 --> 00:11:32,417 We only get one ride on this merry-go-round, right? 284 00:11:32,551 --> 00:11:33,887 Huh, yeah... 285 00:11:34,087 --> 00:11:37,126 Sometimes I feel like I never even got on the merry-go-round. 286 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:38,730 How about you? What's your story? 287 00:11:38,763 --> 00:11:39,966 Oh, you don't wanna hear it. 288 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,337 I'm just... an old, boring mom. 289 00:11:42,437 --> 00:11:45,276 Are you kidding? First of all, you're gorgeous. 290 00:11:45,310 --> 00:11:48,149 Second, I can tell you have an adventurous spirit. 291 00:11:48,182 --> 00:11:49,285 Really? 292 00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:52,123 Alright well appreciate you saving our lives, but yeah, 293 00:11:52,157 --> 00:11:53,660 Tam, we should probably get going. 294 00:11:53,727 --> 00:11:56,733 Oh, come on guys, you "Just" got shrunk. 295 00:11:56,833 --> 00:11:57,902 Let's do something wild. 296 00:11:58,036 --> 00:11:59,572 Actually, yeah we're good. Heh, pfft. 297 00:11:59,606 --> 00:12:01,375 Well hold on Mark, we're shrunk, 298 00:12:01,409 --> 00:12:03,012 might as well try something fun. 299 00:12:03,046 --> 00:12:05,083 So, what do you have in mind? 300 00:12:05,417 --> 00:12:08,356 It's called "Nutting." You just hop on your shell, 301 00:12:08,389 --> 00:12:09,726 and go with the flow. 302 00:12:09,792 --> 00:12:11,395 Oooo. That sounds fun. 303 00:12:11,495 --> 00:12:12,463 Alright, I know you don't like 304 00:12:12,731 --> 00:12:16,005 when I say stuff like this, but this woman is crazy, okay. 305 00:12:16,038 --> 00:12:16,940 She's a crazy person. 306 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:20,347 Oh please. You've been telling me to loosen up all night. 307 00:12:20,447 --> 00:12:22,116 Well, here I go. 308 00:12:23,385 --> 00:12:25,123 Woo-hoo! 309 00:12:25,223 --> 00:12:27,962 Woo-hoo! Whoa! 310 00:12:30,066 --> 00:12:32,103 Ah! God! 311 00:12:33,707 --> 00:12:35,443 Oh God! Oof! 312 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:38,784 I can't breathe. 313 00:12:38,884 --> 00:12:40,186 Agh! Damnit. 314 00:12:40,253 --> 00:12:42,692 Oh, this is funny to you? Coulda frickin' died. 315 00:12:42,792 --> 00:12:45,296 Oh relax, hun. Live a little. 316 00:12:47,969 --> 00:12:50,808 Oh, I have to admit, this is beautiful. 317 00:12:50,841 --> 00:12:52,912 You really do see things differently down here. 318 00:12:52,979 --> 00:12:56,553 Right? The world isn't smaller, it's bigger, man. 319 00:12:56,687 --> 00:12:58,423 It puts everything in perspective and 320 00:12:58,524 --> 00:12:59,960 makes you live in the moment. 321 00:13:00,026 --> 00:13:01,328 I never live in the moment. 322 00:13:01,462 --> 00:13:03,834 I'm always too busy worrying about the next one. 323 00:13:03,834 --> 00:13:06,171 Well, before you know it, the moments run out. 324 00:13:06,205 --> 00:13:09,512 Ugh. So true. I've spent the last 14 years so 325 00:13:09,545 --> 00:13:13,419 worried about my kid, I forgot to do anything for myself. 326 00:13:13,587 --> 00:13:15,222 Feels good to just let loose. 327 00:13:15,256 --> 00:13:17,460 What hell's wrong with you? She put frickin' Ayahuasca 328 00:13:17,493 --> 00:13:19,933 in these soybeans, okay? You got a son at home right now. 329 00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:22,103 Parents deserve to have a little fun too, Mark. 330 00:13:22,137 --> 00:13:23,707 How is this "Fun?" Okay, we're at the 331 00:13:23,807 --> 00:13:25,309 bottom of a frickin' food chain here. 332 00:13:25,343 --> 00:13:27,982 I almost got my head ripped off by a frickin' ant. 333 00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:30,219 Hey! You guys wanna ride a butterfly? 334 00:13:30,319 --> 00:13:33,660 I mean, when in Tiny Rome... Mark? 335 00:13:33,693 --> 00:13:36,398 I think I've had enough shrunken antics for one day. 336 00:13:36,532 --> 00:13:39,304 I'm gonna head back and grab more of that sticky dirt. 337 00:13:39,337 --> 00:13:40,340 You coming? 338 00:13:41,108 --> 00:13:42,512 Yeah. I'll catch up to you later. 339 00:13:42,578 --> 00:13:45,751 You know what? Okay then. Have fun riding butterflies. 340 00:13:45,851 --> 00:13:47,655 I'm gonna go get back to your son, 341 00:13:47,755 --> 00:13:49,859 probably jumpin' off the roof and 342 00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:52,732 taking shots of hand sanitizer. Ah whoa! 343 00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:54,869 Whoops. No big deal. 344 00:13:54,902 --> 00:13:56,906 I thought it was a spider. All good. 345 00:13:59,546 --> 00:14:02,585 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. This is an all-timer. 346 00:14:02,685 --> 00:14:04,321 Might be better than Roanoke. 347 00:14:04,355 --> 00:14:05,190 Roanoke? 348 00:14:05,357 --> 00:14:09,198 The colony? 1600s. Legendary pig prank, man. 349 00:14:09,264 --> 00:14:11,301 Everyone went crazy and killed each other. 350 00:14:11,401 --> 00:14:13,607 Bro... I- if we get caught, my mom is never gonna 351 00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:15,243 let me be home alone again. 352 00:14:15,276 --> 00:14:19,050 Relax. As long as we keep our mouths shut, it's all good. 353 00:14:19,084 --> 00:14:20,620 [knock, knock] Dude! 354 00:14:20,754 --> 00:14:22,356 Just be cool. 355 00:14:24,194 --> 00:14:26,633 Oh hey, Dar. Uh, Mark around? 356 00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:27,702 He's out with my mom. 357 00:14:27,802 --> 00:14:28,937 Oh, uh, what's with all the cops? 358 00:14:29,037 --> 00:14:32,310 Did, uh, Mark try to do his own taxes again or something? 359 00:14:32,343 --> 00:14:36,653 Uh... Hey Uncle Hank, can... can I tell you something? 360 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:38,657 It's kind of a secret though. 361 00:14:38,690 --> 00:14:39,859 Uh, okay. 362 00:14:39,893 --> 00:14:42,532 Uh, okay. So all these cops and stuff. 363 00:14:42,565 --> 00:14:43,433 It was us. 364 00:14:43,534 --> 00:14:46,171 We pranked David, and it kinda escalated and 365 00:14:46,204 --> 00:14:47,808 I'm not sure what to do. 366 00:14:47,908 --> 00:14:50,246 Why don't you just uh, tell him it was a prank? 367 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:51,783 Do. Not. 368 00:14:51,916 --> 00:14:54,755 Number one rule of pranks: Never confess. 369 00:14:54,789 --> 00:14:57,962 I just... I-- Ah, feel kinda bad, JD. 370 00:14:58,062 --> 00:14:59,431 Well, are you gonna feel bad for me 371 00:14:59,464 --> 00:15:01,602 when I'm grounded for a hundred years? 372 00:15:01,636 --> 00:15:04,542 You can't play Farm Crossing in Gitmo, Dar. 373 00:15:06,513 --> 00:15:08,082 Stupid Flower Show. 374 00:15:08,182 --> 00:15:10,286 [vibration] Whoa. What the hell? 375 00:15:11,188 --> 00:15:14,995 [vibration] No frickin' way. 376 00:15:17,901 --> 00:15:20,140 Oh, boy. 377 00:15:20,273 --> 00:15:22,477 [grunting] 378 00:15:22,477 --> 00:15:24,816 Come on, come on, come on, come... Dah. 379 00:15:24,849 --> 00:15:26,151 Dammit. 380 00:15:28,590 --> 00:15:29,725 Argh! 381 00:15:29,992 --> 00:15:32,063 Hell yeah! 382 00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:37,207 Hey Mark. Um, I, uh, got a little situation here and uh... 383 00:15:37,207 --> 00:15:39,578 kinda need your help. 384 00:15:40,012 --> 00:15:41,649 Unreal, right? 385 00:15:41,683 --> 00:15:43,352 Oh, yeah! Woo! 386 00:15:43,352 --> 00:15:47,427 Hey Mark. Um, I, uh, got a little situation here and uh... 387 00:15:47,528 --> 00:15:48,830 Darren? 388 00:15:48,863 --> 00:15:49,966 You good, T? 389 00:15:50,066 --> 00:15:52,237 Oh my God! I gotta get back! 390 00:15:52,370 --> 00:15:53,774 How do we land this thing!? 391 00:15:53,874 --> 00:15:54,676 We don't! 392 00:15:54,876 --> 00:15:57,447 You just let go... and trust the butterfly to 393 00:15:57,548 --> 00:15:59,986 take us wherever the wind carries it. 394 00:16:00,086 --> 00:16:02,457 Uh-uh. That doesn't work for me right now. 395 00:16:02,525 --> 00:16:05,531 Hey! Butterfly! Down, girl, down! 396 00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:08,971 Whoa, careful, Tammy. They startle easily. 397 00:16:09,104 --> 00:16:10,574 Oohh! Whoa! 398 00:16:12,578 --> 00:16:14,582 Oh my God! 399 00:16:15,784 --> 00:16:19,726 You got any pro tips for escaping a Venus flytrap? 400 00:16:19,759 --> 00:16:21,729 Nope. This is a first. 401 00:16:22,163 --> 00:16:24,702 I think we just gotta go with the flow, you know. 402 00:16:24,803 --> 00:16:27,541 Well right now, the flow is about to dissolve us in acid, 403 00:16:27,575 --> 00:16:29,912 and I've got a little boy at home who needs me! 404 00:16:30,012 --> 00:16:31,616 What? Isn't he, like... 12? 405 00:16:31,716 --> 00:16:34,555 He's 14. And it doesn't matter how old you are-- 406 00:16:34,588 --> 00:16:36,492 everyone needs their mom sometimes. 407 00:16:36,593 --> 00:16:39,030 Not me. My mom's in jail for Medicare fraud. 408 00:16:39,130 --> 00:16:40,800 Okay, well, most people. 409 00:16:42,738 --> 00:16:44,676 Help! Somebody help! 410 00:16:44,742 --> 00:16:45,845 Mark! 411 00:16:46,178 --> 00:16:49,417 Tam! Tam! Yo, Darren's got himself in a situation, alright. 412 00:16:49,518 --> 00:16:51,923 We gotta get out of here, okay. We gotta get big again! 413 00:16:52,057 --> 00:16:53,058 Where are you? 414 00:16:53,158 --> 00:16:56,766 Help! Where are you? Anybody help us! 415 00:16:56,866 --> 00:16:57,935 Tam! 416 00:16:58,035 --> 00:17:00,541 Mark? Oh my God! Help! We're in here! 417 00:17:00,574 --> 00:17:02,811 Get the hell outta here, you're in the frickin' 418 00:17:02,845 --> 00:17:04,582 meat eating plant? - Hurry, Mark! 419 00:17:04,615 --> 00:17:06,953 I think it's starting to digest us, ugh! 420 00:17:06,986 --> 00:17:09,090 Alright, I'm coming, I'm coming, alright? 421 00:17:09,190 --> 00:17:12,831 Ah... Come on... Come on. Okay crap uh... 422 00:17:12,931 --> 00:17:14,000 Uh... 423 00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:16,037 Hell yeah! 424 00:17:16,071 --> 00:17:19,678 Mmm, who wants a yummy wing with the meat on it? 425 00:17:20,412 --> 00:17:22,383 [sniff, sniff] 426 00:17:28,228 --> 00:17:30,767 Heard you guys need a wing man. 427 00:17:33,105 --> 00:17:34,575 Sure you don't want to stick around, 428 00:17:34,675 --> 00:17:35,844 go petal parachuting? 429 00:17:35,977 --> 00:17:37,213 No, I've gotta get back. 430 00:17:37,247 --> 00:17:39,819 As fun as this was, being a mom comes first. 431 00:17:39,952 --> 00:17:40,987 You wanna come with us? 432 00:17:41,021 --> 00:17:43,225 Nah. I'm all about that shrunklife. 433 00:17:43,258 --> 00:17:45,731 Okay. Well, take care, Kaia. 434 00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:48,636 You too, Tammy. You too. 435 00:17:51,341 --> 00:17:54,414 [splat] Oh God!/Oh! Damn! 436 00:17:56,084 --> 00:17:57,988 Uh... E-Excuse me, sir? 437 00:17:58,122 --> 00:18:00,961 Don't worry, son. Nothing to be concerned about. 438 00:18:00,994 --> 00:18:04,467 I know. There's no pig number 2. 439 00:18:04,569 --> 00:18:05,402 I beg your pardon? 440 00:18:05,436 --> 00:18:06,673 I-It was just a stupid prank. 441 00:18:06,773 --> 00:18:09,512 I didn't realize it would cause all... this. 442 00:18:09,545 --> 00:18:12,283 We just thought it'd be funny to mess with my neighbor. 443 00:18:12,316 --> 00:18:14,488 What do you mean... we? 444 00:18:14,689 --> 00:18:16,760 I mean... me. 445 00:18:16,860 --> 00:18:17,995 It was just me. 446 00:18:18,262 --> 00:18:21,301 Can you just call my mom and let her know I'm in Gitmo? 447 00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:22,738 You got guts, kid. 448 00:18:22,872 --> 00:18:23,974 Come in here and fessin' up-- 449 00:18:24,007 --> 00:18:24,942 I'll give you that. 450 00:18:25,009 --> 00:18:27,346 But you don't strike me as the pranking type. 451 00:18:27,380 --> 00:18:29,417 You tell me who puts you up to this 452 00:18:29,552 --> 00:18:31,422 and we'll keep this between us. 453 00:18:31,589 --> 00:18:34,762 Sir, we just got the pigs' swine flu results... 454 00:18:35,797 --> 00:18:37,567 [knock, knock, knock] 455 00:18:37,601 --> 00:18:41,876 Oh u-uh... hey... officer? To what do I owe the honor? 456 00:18:41,909 --> 00:18:43,647 You handle any hogs tonight? 457 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:45,049 Me? Hogs? Pfft! 458 00:18:45,149 --> 00:18:47,420 No way man. I- I'm actually kosher... 459 00:18:47,453 --> 00:18:49,324 Uh yeah... Shabbat Shalom! 460 00:18:49,357 --> 00:18:50,661 Wait, you're Jewish? 461 00:18:50,694 --> 00:18:52,463 Uh, yes I am, Hhhank. 462 00:18:52,497 --> 00:18:55,838 Well your pal here just tested positive for swine flu. 463 00:18:55,871 --> 00:18:57,508 Hey, J.D. 464 00:18:57,541 --> 00:19:00,614 Dar?! Y- you're gonna be okay... right? 465 00:19:00,647 --> 00:19:01,550 I hope so. 466 00:19:01,917 --> 00:19:05,557 Meh, this particular strain only has a 30% survival rate. 467 00:19:05,591 --> 00:19:09,063 Oh God! Oh I'm so sorry, Dar. 468 00:19:09,197 --> 00:19:11,769 This is all my fault. Don't die on me. 469 00:19:11,836 --> 00:19:15,644 It was just supposed to be a stupid prank! 470 00:19:15,944 --> 00:19:17,547 Heh. Gotcha. 471 00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:19,619 Are you freaking kidding me? 472 00:19:19,652 --> 00:19:22,156 Not cool, dude! Not freakin' cool. 473 00:19:22,190 --> 00:19:25,096 Alright, boys. Hope you learned your lesson. 474 00:19:25,196 --> 00:19:26,197 Yes sir. 475 00:19:26,364 --> 00:19:28,703 Do this again, and I'll put you both down. 476 00:19:28,803 --> 00:19:30,673 Just like those two pigs. 477 00:19:30,673 --> 00:19:32,410 Ha! Good one. 478 00:19:39,658 --> 00:19:41,562 That should do it. 479 00:19:44,234 --> 00:19:46,772 C'mon, we got 10 seconds, lets go. 480 00:19:50,112 --> 00:19:51,549 Uh-oh. 481 00:20:02,771 --> 00:20:06,579 Hoo! Hell yeah, dude! Grace, for the win! 482 00:20:06,612 --> 00:20:07,848 Let's go! 483 00:20:15,363 --> 00:20:18,001 Hell yeah, dude. Back to 5-10. 484 00:20:18,135 --> 00:20:19,371 You're 5-7, honey. 485 00:20:19,404 --> 00:20:22,376 Tam, I'm 5-8 at least, okay 486 00:20:23,580 --> 00:20:24,848 Uh... 487 00:20:24,982 --> 00:20:26,886 Go! Go go go go. 488 00:20:27,921 --> 00:20:29,490 Whoa there. 489 00:20:29,925 --> 00:20:31,729 Whoa. 490 00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:36,404 Oo ho ho ho. It's on. 491 00:20:38,109 --> 00:20:39,978 Pray to this, bitch! 492 00:20:46,759 --> 00:20:48,428 Darren! You okay? 493 00:20:48,462 --> 00:20:50,767 Yeah, I just couldn't get the internet to work, 494 00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,136 but I- I figured it out. 495 00:20:52,136 --> 00:20:55,309 Oh... Ohoho, come here, you. 496 00:20:57,848 --> 00:21:00,052 Oh... He's fine. 497 00:21:00,887 --> 00:21:01,956 Hey uh, listen... 498 00:21:02,123 --> 00:21:05,229 I'm sorry for making you stay out later than you wanted. 499 00:21:05,329 --> 00:21:07,233 Ah, it's not your fault. I needed the push. 500 00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:10,708 Honestly, this turned out to be a pretty frickin' awesome night. 501 00:21:10,741 --> 00:21:12,811 Yeah it was uh... it was something else. 502 00:21:12,845 --> 00:21:15,283 Maybe next time, though, we do something less crazy... 503 00:21:15,383 --> 00:21:17,888 like bar-hopping and 3 AM cheesesteaks. 504 00:21:17,921 --> 00:21:19,791 Now we're talking... 505 00:21:20,325 --> 00:21:21,796 What the hell? 506 00:21:22,396 --> 00:21:25,169 Darren! Get your ass down here right now! 507 00:21:25,202 --> 00:21:26,204 What? 508 00:21:26,304 --> 00:21:27,641 Where the hell is pig 1? 509 00:21:27,741 --> 00:21:29,912 And there better not be a pig 3!