1 00:00:23,931 --> 00:00:25,551 Okay, back to the middle school, 2 00:00:25,551 --> 00:00:27,482 then the elementary school, and then the high school. 3 00:00:27,482 --> 00:00:30,241 Okay. Boy, we have a lot of kids. 4 00:00:30,241 --> 00:00:31,827 We got this. 5 00:00:31,827 --> 00:00:33,103 - Hey, Mom-- - Oh. 6 00:00:33,103 --> 00:00:34,379 What's for dinner? 7 00:00:34,379 --> 00:00:36,655 Yeah, what's the dealio with the mealio? 8 00:00:36,655 --> 00:00:38,965 Oh, sorry, guys. It's fend for yourself night. 9 00:00:38,965 --> 00:00:40,344 [upbeat music] 10 00:00:40,344 --> 00:00:42,827 [all yelling] 11 00:00:42,827 --> 00:00:46,793 ♪ ♪ 12 00:00:46,793 --> 00:00:48,655 Another fend for yourself night, Mother? 13 00:00:48,655 --> 00:00:50,068 I don't mean to be persnickety, 14 00:00:50,068 --> 00:00:52,172 but you and Dad are really dropping the ball lately. 15 00:00:52,172 --> 00:00:54,000 I'm sorry if we've been extra flustered, 16 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:57,103 but tonight is parent-teacher conferences. 17 00:00:57,103 --> 00:00:59,724 [dramatic music] 18 00:00:59,724 --> 00:01:01,551 You wouldn't think my sisters and I 19 00:01:01,551 --> 00:01:04,103 would be so excited about parent-teacher conferences, 20 00:01:04,103 --> 00:01:06,758 but every year, Dad promises 21 00:01:06,758 --> 00:01:09,068 that if more than half of us get a positive review, 22 00:01:09,068 --> 00:01:10,310 he'll treat us 23 00:01:10,310 --> 00:01:11,896 to the biggest dessert in Royal Woods: 24 00:01:11,896 --> 00:01:15,275 Auntie Pam's Banana Split in a Canoe. 25 00:01:16,931 --> 00:01:19,206 Are all dinners going to be this disorganized? 26 00:01:19,206 --> 00:01:20,448 If so, I may sign up 27 00:01:20,448 --> 00:01:22,068 for a meal service at Sunset Canyon. 28 00:01:22,068 --> 00:01:24,137 Well, we've got nine kids at three different schools, 29 00:01:24,137 --> 00:01:26,034 so, all things considered, I think your dad and I 30 00:01:26,034 --> 00:01:28,620 have things very under control. 31 00:01:28,620 --> 00:01:30,310 Lynn, let's go! We're late! 32 00:01:30,310 --> 00:01:32,241 Who's ready for a wedding? 33 00:01:32,241 --> 00:01:35,413 It's parent-teacher conferences. 34 00:01:35,413 --> 00:01:36,448 That's tonight? 35 00:01:36,448 --> 00:01:37,896 - Yes. - Oh. 36 00:01:37,896 --> 00:01:39,620 Well, I hope they don't beat us up too much this year. 37 00:01:39,620 --> 00:01:40,965 Although this could be the year 38 00:01:40,965 --> 00:01:43,000 the Loud family finally turns things around. 39 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,137 I'm gonna go put on my lucky corduroys. 40 00:01:45,137 --> 00:01:46,758 No, no, there's no time for that. 41 00:01:46,758 --> 00:01:47,862 Is this fragile? 42 00:01:47,862 --> 00:01:49,517 No. 43 00:01:49,517 --> 00:01:50,758 Oh! - Let's go. 44 00:01:50,758 --> 00:01:52,620 Okay. 45 00:01:52,620 --> 00:01:54,413 [doorbell rings] 46 00:01:54,413 --> 00:01:57,827 Let's do this. 47 00:01:57,827 --> 00:01:59,758 Since Clyde is an honorary member 48 00:01:59,758 --> 00:02:01,000 of the Loud family, 49 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,448 he's therefore eligible to partake 50 00:02:02,448 --> 00:02:04,344 in spoils of our victory. 51 00:02:04,344 --> 00:02:06,448 [awed music] 52 00:02:06,448 --> 00:02:08,241 Clyde has agreed to track the conference results 53 00:02:08,241 --> 00:02:10,344 as they unfold. 54 00:02:10,344 --> 00:02:11,689 [all exclaim] 55 00:02:11,689 --> 00:02:14,620 Tonight, the parent-teacher tracker 3800 56 00:02:14,620 --> 00:02:16,448 is gonna provide up-to-the-minute projections 57 00:02:16,448 --> 00:02:17,827 for this contest. 58 00:02:17,827 --> 00:02:20,034 We've got microphones under the desks, 59 00:02:20,034 --> 00:02:21,379 cameras in the smartboards 60 00:02:21,379 --> 00:02:23,310 to provide real-time information. 61 00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:24,517 What's at stake? 62 00:02:24,517 --> 00:02:26,862 Auntie Pam's Banana Split in a Canoe. 63 00:02:26,862 --> 00:02:28,620 Oh, my God, that is my favorite. 64 00:02:28,620 --> 00:02:29,931 How do we get there? 65 00:02:29,931 --> 00:02:31,896 The Louds will need more good reviews 66 00:02:31,896 --> 00:02:33,482 than bad ones from the teachers. 67 00:02:33,482 --> 00:02:34,827 With nine reviews total, 68 00:02:34,827 --> 00:02:37,206 the magic number is five good ones. 69 00:02:37,206 --> 00:02:38,448 We're gonna do it this year. 70 00:02:38,448 --> 00:02:40,379 Three schools, eight teachers, 71 00:02:40,379 --> 00:02:42,827 51 scoops of ice cream on the line, 72 00:02:42,827 --> 00:02:44,379 51 scoops? 73 00:02:44,379 --> 00:02:45,862 It's gonna be a close night. 74 00:02:45,862 --> 00:02:48,000 This is gonna be a piece of cake, 75 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:51,448 or, should I say, a canoe full of ice cream. 76 00:02:51,448 --> 00:02:54,413 ♪ ♪ 77 00:02:54,413 --> 00:02:56,068 Ooh. Okay, let's do this. 78 00:02:56,068 --> 00:02:57,379 What time does the first conference start? 79 00:02:57,379 --> 00:02:59,379 - 4:00. - And who's the first kid? 80 00:02:59,379 --> 00:03:01,068 Uh, Lucy. 81 00:03:01,068 --> 00:03:04,379 [cheers and applause] 82 00:03:04,379 --> 00:03:06,413 Lucy's got her quirks, but those quirks 83 00:03:06,413 --> 00:03:07,965 are mostly contained to the home. 84 00:03:07,965 --> 00:03:09,793 Our projections have her leaning good. 85 00:03:09,793 --> 00:03:12,103 Lucy is very well behaved in class. 86 00:03:12,103 --> 00:03:13,310 Hot start. 87 00:03:13,310 --> 00:03:14,413 Reads well above her grade level. 88 00:03:14,413 --> 00:03:16,206 Oh, yeah! 89 00:03:16,206 --> 00:03:18,551 This semester, we did our unit on poetry. 90 00:03:18,551 --> 00:03:20,896 All of the kids recited a poem of their choice 91 00:03:20,896 --> 00:03:23,724 Your sweet Lucy recited a beautiful piece... 92 00:03:23,724 --> 00:03:25,000 both: Aw. 93 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,965 That turned out to be an incantation... 94 00:03:26,965 --> 00:03:28,275 both: Oh. 95 00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:29,862 That summoned the nether beast. 96 00:03:29,862 --> 00:03:31,310 both: Oh. 97 00:03:31,310 --> 00:03:35,448 [speaking eldritch language] 98 00:03:35,448 --> 00:03:38,448 [wind howling] 99 00:03:41,034 --> 00:03:43,068 [monstrous growling] 100 00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:49,517 So, does she get a positive review? 101 00:03:49,517 --> 00:03:52,000 [monstrous growling] 102 00:03:53,413 --> 00:03:56,793 [speaking eldritch language] 103 00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:06,344 All good from me. 104 00:04:06,344 --> 00:04:08,034 [bell dings] 105 00:04:08,034 --> 00:04:09,862 both: Great. 106 00:04:09,862 --> 00:04:11,896 Don't look back. Don't look back. 107 00:04:11,896 --> 00:04:13,517 Good start for the Loud family. 108 00:04:13,517 --> 00:04:14,827 Lucy has gone good. 109 00:04:14,827 --> 00:04:15,793 [all cheer] 110 00:04:15,793 --> 00:04:17,379 So we're gonna take one scoop 111 00:04:17,379 --> 00:04:19,000 and move it over to the victory canoe. 112 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,482 Next up... 113 00:04:20,482 --> 00:04:22,206 Oh! 114 00:04:22,206 --> 00:04:24,758 Uh, Leni. 115 00:04:26,965 --> 00:04:28,931 Leni started out strong in the early years 116 00:04:28,931 --> 00:04:30,793 but has really struggled since grades changed 117 00:04:30,793 --> 00:04:32,517 from smiley faces to letters. 118 00:04:32,517 --> 00:04:33,931 I think she has a chance. 119 00:04:33,931 --> 00:04:36,034 - She's so nice and sweet. - Everyone loves Leni. 120 00:04:36,034 --> 00:04:37,413 She sounds amazing. 121 00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,448 She's not the most academic person, 122 00:04:40,448 --> 00:04:43,448 but she has been working really hard lately. 123 00:04:43,448 --> 00:04:45,344 Hi! We're Leni's parents. 124 00:04:45,344 --> 00:04:47,482 [buzzer sounds] 125 00:04:47,482 --> 00:04:49,862 Thank you for your time. 126 00:04:49,862 --> 00:04:52,517 Leni slides into the negative column. 127 00:04:52,517 --> 00:04:53,551 This is ridiculous. 128 00:04:53,551 --> 00:04:55,103 The refs just hate the Louds. 129 00:04:55,103 --> 00:04:56,172 You mean the teachers? 130 00:04:56,172 --> 00:04:57,482 They're all in it together. 131 00:04:57,482 --> 00:05:01,103 So instead of a scoop, we're getting a splat. 132 00:05:01,931 --> 00:05:04,068 Yes, I'd like to preorder the Banana Split in a Canoe 133 00:05:04,068 --> 00:05:06,068 with extra whipped cream. 134 00:05:06,068 --> 00:05:07,379 What's that? 135 00:05:07,379 --> 00:05:09,620 However much makes you throw up. 136 00:05:09,620 --> 00:05:11,827 Uh, call you back, Marsha. 137 00:05:11,827 --> 00:05:13,241 You're pretty cocky for a guy 138 00:05:13,241 --> 00:05:16,000 who still hasn't turned in their midterm essay 139 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,206 to Mr. Bolhofner. 140 00:05:17,206 --> 00:05:19,758 Clyde, here's the dirty little secret. 141 00:05:19,758 --> 00:05:21,689 It doesn't matter how I do. 142 00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:24,103 This is the first year that Lisa gets a conference. 143 00:05:24,103 --> 00:05:25,655 She's gonna be the star of first grade. 144 00:05:25,655 --> 00:05:26,758 Are you sure? 145 00:05:26,758 --> 00:05:28,517 She's got a 300 IQ, 146 00:05:28,517 --> 00:05:29,896 and she puts her toys away. 147 00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:33,137 Trust me, with Lisa in the mix, we can't lose. 148 00:05:33,137 --> 00:05:34,448 [slurps pointedly] 149 00:05:34,448 --> 00:05:37,517 Wow, Leni's teacher did not mince words. 150 00:05:37,517 --> 00:05:39,241 He just went "phbbt." 151 00:05:39,241 --> 00:05:41,482 Well, on the bright side, 152 00:05:41,482 --> 00:05:43,137 bought us 13 extra minutes. 153 00:05:43,137 --> 00:05:44,689 Ooh. 154 00:05:48,413 --> 00:05:49,586 [gasps] Lynn! wake up! 155 00:05:49,586 --> 00:05:51,103 Oh! Oh! The wedding! 156 00:05:51,103 --> 00:05:53,034 No, we're late for our next conference. 157 00:05:53,034 --> 00:05:55,068 Oh, oh, yeah. 158 00:05:55,068 --> 00:05:58,034 [upbeat music] 159 00:05:58,034 --> 00:06:05,068 ♪ ♪ 160 00:06:12,482 --> 00:06:13,655 - Oh. - [grunts] 161 00:06:13,655 --> 00:06:14,655 Okay, who's next? 162 00:06:14,655 --> 00:06:15,655 Uh, Lisa. 163 00:06:15,655 --> 00:06:17,241 Ah, let's do it. 164 00:06:17,241 --> 00:06:18,620 So sorry we're late. 165 00:06:18,620 --> 00:06:20,310 - Tell us about Luan. - Luna. 166 00:06:20,310 --> 00:06:21,379 Lisa. 167 00:06:21,379 --> 00:06:23,241 both: Lisa. 168 00:06:23,241 --> 00:06:26,310 Lisa's extremely gifted academically. 169 00:06:26,310 --> 00:06:28,344 Unfortunately, in first grade, we focus much more 170 00:06:28,344 --> 00:06:29,413 on social skills 171 00:06:29,413 --> 00:06:32,482 and playing well with others 172 00:06:32,482 --> 00:06:34,586 You call that a block tower? 173 00:06:34,586 --> 00:06:36,896 It's not even structurally sound. 174 00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:39,103 What if there's an earthquake? 175 00:06:41,862 --> 00:06:44,793 Youth is no excuse for ignorance, Ethan. 176 00:06:44,793 --> 00:06:48,620 I'm sorry to have to do this, but... 177 00:06:48,620 --> 00:06:50,000 [buzzer sounds] 178 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,655 Wow, this one is definitely a shocker. 179 00:06:52,655 --> 00:06:54,310 Lisa Loud has gone bad. 180 00:06:54,310 --> 00:06:55,517 all: What? 181 00:06:55,517 --> 00:06:57,034 How does that even make any sense? 182 00:06:58,482 --> 00:06:59,827 Ethan. 183 00:06:59,827 --> 00:07:01,137 I'd like to order marshmallows 184 00:07:01,137 --> 00:07:02,482 brownie bites, 185 00:07:02,482 --> 00:07:05,620 and in terms of sprinkles, what is the limit? 186 00:07:05,620 --> 00:07:08,275 [dramatic chords] 187 00:07:08,275 --> 00:07:12,689 No! 188 00:07:15,724 --> 00:07:18,482 No! 189 00:07:18,482 --> 00:07:19,689 Clyde, we're doomed! 190 00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:21,379 If I can't count on Lisa, 191 00:07:21,379 --> 00:07:23,758 then I definitely can't count on the rest of my sisters. 192 00:07:23,758 --> 00:07:25,758 Now I need a good review. 193 00:07:25,758 --> 00:07:27,620 Maybe they'll surprise you. 194 00:07:27,620 --> 00:07:31,241 [all squabbling] 195 00:07:35,827 --> 00:07:37,310 That's gonna leave a mark. 196 00:07:38,793 --> 00:07:41,034 Okay, you definitely need a good review. 197 00:07:41,034 --> 00:07:43,793 Oh, but how am I gonna convince Mr. Bolhofner 198 00:07:43,793 --> 00:07:46,034 that I'm a better student than I actually am? 199 00:07:46,034 --> 00:07:47,931 You could start by turning in your midterm essay. 200 00:07:47,931 --> 00:07:50,586 I could start by writing my midterm essay. 201 00:07:50,586 --> 00:07:52,620 You haven't started? 202 00:07:52,620 --> 00:07:54,758 No, Clyde, 203 00:07:54,758 --> 00:07:55,965 we haven't started. 204 00:07:55,965 --> 00:07:59,137 [determined music] 205 00:07:59,137 --> 00:08:06,172 ♪ ♪ 206 00:08:11,551 --> 00:08:12,862 Really? 207 00:08:12,862 --> 00:08:17,965 ♪ ♪ 208 00:08:17,965 --> 00:08:19,241 Lynn's classroom is this way. 209 00:08:19,241 --> 00:08:20,551 No, no, no, no. It's that way. 210 00:08:20,551 --> 00:08:22,172 I think I know my way around. 211 00:08:27,172 --> 00:08:29,275 I love you. - I know. 212 00:08:29,275 --> 00:08:30,724 ♪ ♪ 213 00:08:30,724 --> 00:08:32,689 Next up, Lynn Loud. 214 00:08:32,689 --> 00:08:34,413 [all cheer] - Yeah! 215 00:08:34,413 --> 00:08:35,931 Go Lynn! Go Lynn! 216 00:08:35,931 --> 00:08:39,206 Whoo-hoo! Go Lynn! 217 00:08:39,206 --> 00:08:41,241 Ow! My hammy! 218 00:08:41,241 --> 00:08:43,793 My hammy. 219 00:08:43,793 --> 00:08:44,965 Rookie mistake. 220 00:08:44,965 --> 00:08:46,965 I stretch before all my comedy shows. 221 00:08:46,965 --> 00:08:48,862 I once pulled my neck muscle doing a double take. 222 00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:51,137 I gave it the old... 223 00:08:51,137 --> 00:08:52,172 [neck pops] 224 00:08:52,172 --> 00:08:54,758 [winces] 225 00:08:54,758 --> 00:08:56,620 I'm fine. 226 00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:58,620 Lynn is one of the best athletes 227 00:08:58,620 --> 00:09:00,034 our school has ever seen. 228 00:09:00,034 --> 00:09:02,068 [laughs] That's wonderful. 229 00:09:02,068 --> 00:09:03,413 We know. [laughs] 230 00:09:03,413 --> 00:09:04,758 However... 231 00:09:04,758 --> 00:09:06,724 sometimes her competitive nature 232 00:09:06,724 --> 00:09:08,379 bleeds into the classroom. 233 00:09:08,379 --> 00:09:10,000 Who would like to erase the board 234 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:12,275 for a little extra credit? 235 00:09:12,275 --> 00:09:13,827 Agh! 236 00:09:15,655 --> 00:09:18,655 This is my house, Natalie. 237 00:09:18,655 --> 00:09:21,068 That's probably not good. 238 00:09:21,068 --> 00:09:24,448 Actually, Natalie is... a lot, 239 00:09:24,448 --> 00:09:25,931 so it was nice to have her out of class 240 00:09:25,931 --> 00:09:27,379 for a couple of weeks. 241 00:09:29,034 --> 00:09:30,379 [bell dings] 242 00:09:31,793 --> 00:09:33,655 Uh, we hope Natalie's okay. 243 00:09:33,655 --> 00:09:35,551 - So sad. - Yeah. 244 00:09:35,551 --> 00:09:37,586 Lynn is gone good! 245 00:09:37,586 --> 00:09:39,413 [all cheer] 246 00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:41,689 Lynn Loud can play through the pain! 247 00:09:41,689 --> 00:09:43,482 - Whoo! - Go Lynn. 248 00:09:43,482 --> 00:09:45,241 Good job. 249 00:09:49,137 --> 00:09:51,241 Mr. Bolhofner? Don't speak. 250 00:09:51,241 --> 00:09:53,000 Just listen. 251 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,241 I know my essay was due yesterday, 252 00:09:55,241 --> 00:09:57,206 but I just wanted to be really proud of it, 253 00:09:57,206 --> 00:10:00,137 and rest assured, I wrote it by myself. 254 00:10:04,793 --> 00:10:07,758 [growls] 255 00:10:07,758 --> 00:10:10,896 [speaking eldritch language] 256 00:10:21,896 --> 00:10:23,827 - Can I-- - [growls] 257 00:10:29,827 --> 00:10:30,931 With the Louds back to even, 258 00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:32,517 we're now moving on to Luan. 259 00:10:32,517 --> 00:10:34,793 [all cheer] 260 00:10:34,793 --> 00:10:36,724 You got it! 261 00:10:36,724 --> 00:10:38,482 Where'd you get that thing? 262 00:10:38,482 --> 00:10:41,413 Every comedian has one of these in their prop box. 263 00:10:41,413 --> 00:10:43,206 They're funny. 264 00:10:43,206 --> 00:10:44,689 Not to me. 265 00:10:44,689 --> 00:10:46,172 Orthopedic accessories, 266 00:10:46,172 --> 00:10:48,827 especially those covering the first seven vertebrae, 267 00:10:48,827 --> 00:10:51,172 are empirically humorous. 268 00:10:51,172 --> 00:10:52,344 What? 269 00:10:52,344 --> 00:10:54,413 Comedy isn't completely lost on me. 270 00:10:55,551 --> 00:10:58,448 [upbeat music] 271 00:11:00,137 --> 00:11:03,068 I'm so proud you didn't hit any trash cans. 272 00:11:03,068 --> 00:11:04,862 Small victories. 273 00:11:04,862 --> 00:11:06,551 Oh! 274 00:11:06,551 --> 00:11:08,103 Oh. 275 00:11:09,793 --> 00:11:10,896 I'm good. 276 00:11:10,896 --> 00:11:13,310 [upbeat music] 277 00:11:13,310 --> 00:11:15,758 Luan does have a penchant for pranks. 278 00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:17,275 [upbeat swing music] 279 00:11:17,275 --> 00:11:20,896 Fair warning: this gag may cause excessive laughter. 280 00:11:20,896 --> 00:11:24,793 ♪ ♪ 281 00:11:24,793 --> 00:11:27,862 And this one was a doozy. 282 00:11:27,862 --> 00:11:29,344 Ooh. 283 00:11:29,344 --> 00:11:32,896 ♪ ♪ 284 00:11:32,896 --> 00:11:35,586 [whoopee cushion blares] - [screams] 285 00:11:36,275 --> 00:11:38,931 [groans] 286 00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:42,620 So you thought it was... 287 00:11:42,620 --> 00:11:44,310 Funny? 288 00:11:44,310 --> 00:11:45,724 No! 289 00:11:45,724 --> 00:11:48,034 I didn't! 290 00:11:48,034 --> 00:11:52,896 But because of Luan's constant pranks, 291 00:11:52,896 --> 00:11:55,931 I have decided to retire from teaching. 292 00:11:55,931 --> 00:11:59,172 She helped push me that way, 293 00:11:59,172 --> 00:12:02,689 and for that, I have to thank her. 294 00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:05,482 [bell dings] 295 00:12:05,482 --> 00:12:06,827 - Yes! - Yes! 296 00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:08,689 Folks, we have Luan going good. 297 00:12:08,689 --> 00:12:10,931 [cheers and applause] 298 00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:14,689 ♪ ♪ 299 00:12:14,689 --> 00:12:17,689 [dramatic music] 300 00:12:17,689 --> 00:12:19,344 ♪ ♪ 301 00:12:19,344 --> 00:12:21,379 No students permitted tonight. 302 00:12:21,379 --> 00:12:22,482 I know. 303 00:12:22,482 --> 00:12:24,448 I was going to hand in my paper, 304 00:12:24,448 --> 00:12:26,827 but there was this nether beast in the bathroom, 305 00:12:26,827 --> 00:12:28,551 and he stole it from me. 306 00:12:28,551 --> 00:12:30,827 Come on, Loud. I was born at night, 307 00:12:30,827 --> 00:12:32,206 not last night. 308 00:12:32,206 --> 00:12:33,965 I've heard that excuse a million times. 309 00:12:33,965 --> 00:12:36,068 I swear I wrote my paper. 310 00:12:36,068 --> 00:12:38,172 Just let me go home and get another copy. 311 00:12:38,172 --> 00:12:40,793 Will you please let me do that? 312 00:12:40,793 --> 00:12:43,344 Hmm. 313 00:12:43,344 --> 00:12:44,965 Next up, 314 00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:47,551 Lola and Lana. 315 00:12:47,551 --> 00:12:50,137 Lana and Lola are absolute joys to be around. 316 00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:52,724 Any little problem they have, they solve it. 317 00:12:52,724 --> 00:12:54,413 I'm sorry to say 318 00:12:54,413 --> 00:12:57,965 the class's pet iguana has died of natural causes. 319 00:12:57,965 --> 00:13:00,000 Let's double-L this thing. 320 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:03,620 [dramatic music] 321 00:13:03,620 --> 00:13:06,034 There's nothing natural about this death. 322 00:13:06,034 --> 00:13:08,034 So how'd she die? 323 00:13:08,034 --> 00:13:11,724 I... guana know. 324 00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:18,482 ♪ ♪ 325 00:13:18,482 --> 00:13:23,137 Looks like somebody swallowed the evidence. 326 00:13:23,137 --> 00:13:25,586 Didn't Kevin have a paddle with a ball on it? 327 00:13:28,034 --> 00:13:30,275 I was nowhere near that iguana tank. 328 00:13:30,275 --> 00:13:32,482 Got somebody to back up that story? 329 00:13:32,482 --> 00:13:35,344 I did it. 330 00:13:35,344 --> 00:13:37,724 So they solved the mystery! 331 00:13:37,724 --> 00:13:39,551 Yes, but sadly, 332 00:13:39,551 --> 00:13:41,793 there's still one mystery they have yet to solve. 333 00:13:41,793 --> 00:13:42,896 Oh, really? What's that? 334 00:13:42,896 --> 00:13:44,896 Grammar, spelling, and math. 335 00:13:44,896 --> 00:13:46,172 [buzzer sounds] 336 00:13:46,172 --> 00:13:47,689 Folks, this is two scoops of bad news 337 00:13:47,689 --> 00:13:49,655 with a drizzle of disaster. 338 00:13:49,655 --> 00:13:52,172 We can still do this. We got Luna. 339 00:13:52,172 --> 00:13:54,103 I hate to be a negative Nellie, 340 00:13:54,103 --> 00:13:55,896 but how many rock stars do you know 341 00:13:55,896 --> 00:13:57,310 who did well in school? 342 00:13:57,310 --> 00:13:59,896 None of the cool ones, that's for sure. 343 00:13:59,896 --> 00:14:01,620 Wait a minute. 344 00:14:01,620 --> 00:14:04,172 I'm receiving word that Luna Loud has gone good, 345 00:14:04,172 --> 00:14:05,586 which makes it four to four. 346 00:14:05,586 --> 00:14:09,137 [all cheer] 347 00:14:09,137 --> 00:14:11,413 Mr. Bolhofner says there's nothing I can do. 348 00:14:11,413 --> 00:14:13,586 I'm gonna get a zero on my essay. 349 00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:17,000 Which means this race will all come down to... 350 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,172 Lincoln Loud. 351 00:14:18,172 --> 00:14:19,896 [dramatic chords] 352 00:14:19,896 --> 00:14:23,379 No! 353 00:14:26,620 --> 00:14:27,655 I can't believe it's all down to me. 354 00:14:27,655 --> 00:14:28,965 We're doomed. 355 00:14:28,965 --> 00:14:30,517 I didn't turn in my essay, 356 00:14:30,517 --> 00:14:31,758 and Mr. Bolhofner 357 00:14:31,758 --> 00:14:33,068 wasn't my biggest fan to start with. 358 00:14:33,068 --> 00:14:34,275 Well, we didn't think Luna was gonna get 359 00:14:34,275 --> 00:14:35,862 a thumbs-up, but she surprised us. 360 00:14:35,862 --> 00:14:37,551 Luna, how'd you do it? 361 00:14:37,551 --> 00:14:39,068 Oh, I just got Miss Hamilton 362 00:14:39,068 --> 00:14:40,275 two Mick Swagger tickets. 363 00:14:40,275 --> 00:14:44,344 ♪ Transformation ♪ 364 00:14:44,344 --> 00:14:47,862 ♪ The scene is set on the rock and roll nation ♪ 365 00:14:47,862 --> 00:14:49,241 That's it! 366 00:14:49,241 --> 00:14:51,137 I need to get Mr. Bolhofner a gift. 367 00:14:51,137 --> 00:14:52,620 I got it! 368 00:14:52,620 --> 00:14:55,241 He'll love this! 369 00:14:55,241 --> 00:14:56,758 This roll of paper towels. 370 00:14:58,379 --> 00:15:00,068 How about this wrapped present? 371 00:15:00,068 --> 00:15:01,655 That's perfect! 372 00:15:01,655 --> 00:15:03,344 You just have to get to Mr. Bolhofner 373 00:15:03,344 --> 00:15:04,517 before Mom and Dad do. 374 00:15:04,517 --> 00:15:05,689 How much time does that give me? 375 00:15:05,689 --> 00:15:07,724 Approximately seven minutes. 376 00:15:07,724 --> 00:15:09,620 Lisa... 377 00:15:09,620 --> 00:15:11,068 I've got a plan. 378 00:15:11,068 --> 00:15:14,758 [frantic music] 379 00:15:14,758 --> 00:15:16,344 All right. 380 00:15:16,344 --> 00:15:18,689 Last one: Lincoln. 381 00:15:18,689 --> 00:15:21,068 We've got seven minutes to get there. 382 00:15:21,068 --> 00:15:22,793 I'll get us there in eight. 383 00:15:22,793 --> 00:15:26,551 ♪ ♪ 384 00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:28,793 These are rocket-powered training wheels. 385 00:15:28,793 --> 00:15:30,448 If I hit this turbo boost, 386 00:15:30,448 --> 00:15:32,103 you'll be there in under a minute... 387 00:15:32,103 --> 00:15:34,275 or possibly yesterday at 4:00. 388 00:15:34,275 --> 00:15:36,413 Thanks, Lisa. 389 00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:38,724 Bring us home that banana split. 390 00:15:38,724 --> 00:15:41,344 [resolute music] 391 00:15:41,344 --> 00:15:43,103 [engine spluttering] 392 00:15:43,103 --> 00:15:45,103 I hope you don't mind eating some bugs! 393 00:15:46,344 --> 00:15:48,068 [tires squealing] 394 00:15:48,068 --> 00:15:52,034 [upbeat music] 395 00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:54,000 [screaming] 396 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:58,000 ♪ ♪ 397 00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,896 Last stop: high school. 398 00:15:59,896 --> 00:16:02,034 No, you were supposed to go to the middle school. 399 00:16:02,034 --> 00:16:03,586 Lincoln's in ninth grade. 400 00:16:03,586 --> 00:16:04,793 He's in sixth. 401 00:16:04,793 --> 00:16:06,689 Well, you had the chart upside down. 402 00:16:06,689 --> 00:16:12,000 ♪ ♪ 403 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:15,000 [screaming] 404 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:22,172 ♪ ♪ 405 00:16:32,310 --> 00:16:33,620 Let me guess. 406 00:16:33,620 --> 00:16:36,586 The nether beast regurgitated your essay. 407 00:16:36,586 --> 00:16:38,551 Actually, Mr. Bolhofner, 408 00:16:38,551 --> 00:16:41,413 I came here because I know what you do isn't easy, 409 00:16:41,413 --> 00:16:43,310 so I brought you this present. 410 00:16:45,206 --> 00:16:47,034 "Congratulations on your wedding." 411 00:16:47,034 --> 00:16:48,241 Ha! 412 00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:50,137 I've been divorced for ten years. 413 00:16:50,137 --> 00:16:52,793 Better late than never? 414 00:16:52,793 --> 00:16:55,275 Listen, Loud, 415 00:16:55,275 --> 00:16:57,137 you're always looking to take the easy way out 416 00:16:57,137 --> 00:16:58,379 instead of doing the work. 417 00:16:58,379 --> 00:17:00,896 And like your paper, which is late, 418 00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:02,482 so are your parents. 419 00:17:02,482 --> 00:17:04,448 I'm not surprised. 420 00:17:04,448 --> 00:17:07,448 [downbeat music] 421 00:17:07,448 --> 00:17:09,862 ♪ ♪ 422 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,413 [frantic music] 423 00:17:16,724 --> 00:17:18,586 I hate to throw my parents under the bus, 424 00:17:18,586 --> 00:17:21,689 but we're talking about a canoe full of ice cream. 425 00:17:21,689 --> 00:17:22,931 Come on. 426 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,758 I'm not surprised my parents are late either. 427 00:17:27,758 --> 00:17:30,482 I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't show up at all. 428 00:17:30,482 --> 00:17:33,034 I don't even think they know what grade I'm in. 429 00:17:33,034 --> 00:17:34,241 The truth is, 430 00:17:34,241 --> 00:17:35,517 a big part of the reason 431 00:17:35,517 --> 00:17:36,896 I didn't turn my essay in on time 432 00:17:36,896 --> 00:17:39,655 was because my parents are so... scattered. 433 00:17:39,655 --> 00:17:42,586 Is this 7B? Is this 7B? 434 00:17:42,586 --> 00:17:44,931 Why does this school have so many classrooms? 435 00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:46,344 It's not that they don't mean well, 436 00:17:46,344 --> 00:17:48,137 but they had 11 kids. 437 00:17:48,137 --> 00:17:51,034 11? Good gravy. 438 00:17:51,034 --> 00:17:52,896 They never have time to help us with our homework 439 00:17:52,896 --> 00:17:54,896 or even basic hygiene. 440 00:17:54,896 --> 00:17:56,862 It's been so long since my mom has done laundry 441 00:17:56,862 --> 00:17:59,689 that my dad is actually wearing a tuxedo tonight. 442 00:17:59,689 --> 00:18:00,862 Mm. 443 00:18:00,862 --> 00:18:03,172 You paint a grim picture there, Loud. 444 00:18:03,172 --> 00:18:04,689 I'm sorry about my paper. 445 00:18:04,689 --> 00:18:06,931 I'll try and do better on it in the future. 446 00:18:06,931 --> 00:18:09,931 I'd work on it right now, but I have to go home 447 00:18:09,931 --> 00:18:12,137 and make sure the rest of my sisters get fed. 448 00:18:12,137 --> 00:18:14,379 It's fend for yourself night. 449 00:18:14,379 --> 00:18:17,275 Well, you know what they say, Loud. 450 00:18:17,275 --> 00:18:19,000 [warm music] 451 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,689 What doesn't kill you... 452 00:18:22,517 --> 00:18:23,689 Trust me, it's down here! 453 00:18:23,689 --> 00:18:25,482 You said that three times. 454 00:18:28,827 --> 00:18:30,689 [high-pitched] Oh, hey, Mr. Bolhofner. 455 00:18:30,689 --> 00:18:31,862 I don't know if I could take 456 00:18:31,862 --> 00:18:34,103 any more of your sad story, Loud. 457 00:18:34,103 --> 00:18:37,034 - Sorry we're late. - We went to the wrong school. 458 00:18:37,034 --> 00:18:38,896 My husband thought Lincoln was in ninth grade. 459 00:18:38,896 --> 00:18:40,344 - [laughs nervously] - Poor kid. 460 00:18:40,344 --> 00:18:41,793 And we also want to make a blanket apology 461 00:18:41,793 --> 00:18:43,551 for any school trash cans that may have been damaged. 462 00:18:43,551 --> 00:18:45,275 Definitely damaged. 463 00:18:45,275 --> 00:18:46,931 Enough of the chit-chat. 464 00:18:46,931 --> 00:18:48,862 This is my last conference of the night, 465 00:18:48,862 --> 00:18:50,586 and I got a date with a squirrel sausage 466 00:18:50,586 --> 00:18:52,965 that's been marinating since Monday. 467 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:55,689 So let's cut to it. 468 00:18:55,689 --> 00:18:57,241 I've looked over Lincoln's file, 469 00:18:57,241 --> 00:18:58,620 and I have decided... 470 00:18:58,620 --> 00:19:01,862 [suspenseful music] 471 00:19:01,862 --> 00:19:05,551 ♪ ♪ 472 00:19:05,551 --> 00:19:07,034 The kid gets a thumbs-up. 473 00:19:08,413 --> 00:19:09,758 [bell dings] 474 00:19:09,758 --> 00:19:12,413 [all cheer] 475 00:19:12,413 --> 00:19:15,206 But make no mistake. 476 00:19:15,206 --> 00:19:16,758 Lincoln's not up to snuff, 477 00:19:16,758 --> 00:19:19,896 and it's safe to say the blame falls on you two. 478 00:19:19,896 --> 00:19:23,344 You look ridiculous, and you're late. 479 00:19:23,344 --> 00:19:24,965 Pretty pathetic. 480 00:19:24,965 --> 00:19:26,931 [sighs] 481 00:19:26,931 --> 00:19:29,620 You know what? You're right. 482 00:19:29,620 --> 00:19:31,862 We're terrible parents. 483 00:19:31,862 --> 00:19:35,206 We're disorganized. We're perpetually exhausted. 484 00:19:35,206 --> 00:19:38,068 Truth is, we had way too many kids. 485 00:19:38,068 --> 00:19:40,068 But we wouldn't give any of them back. 486 00:19:40,068 --> 00:19:41,137 Even if the state asked. 487 00:19:41,137 --> 00:19:42,275 Which they haven't. 488 00:19:42,275 --> 00:19:43,965 Yet. 489 00:19:43,965 --> 00:19:45,896 [sighs] We won't take up any more of your time, 490 00:19:45,896 --> 00:19:46,931 Mr. Bolhofner. 491 00:19:46,931 --> 00:19:48,758 We'll head home and... 492 00:19:48,758 --> 00:19:51,000 try to right all the wrongs we've made as parents. 493 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,655 So many wrongs. 494 00:19:53,517 --> 00:19:55,586 Sounds like a plan. 495 00:19:56,482 --> 00:19:58,103 Wait. 496 00:19:58,103 --> 00:19:59,517 I don't deserve that thumbs-up. 497 00:19:59,517 --> 00:20:01,344 - Lincoln? - What are you doing here? 498 00:20:01,344 --> 00:20:02,482 I wasn't gonna get a good review 499 00:20:02,482 --> 00:20:03,448 from Mr. Bolhofner, 500 00:20:03,448 --> 00:20:04,965 and that meant 501 00:20:04,965 --> 00:20:07,034 we weren't gonna get the ice cream. 502 00:20:07,034 --> 00:20:11,000 So I lied to him and said you guys weren't good parents. 503 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,586 But the truth is, 504 00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:14,482 you're the best parents in the whole world. 505 00:20:16,103 --> 00:20:17,689 Sure, they're overwhelmed, 506 00:20:17,689 --> 00:20:20,689 but they're overwhelmed because they had 11 kids. 507 00:20:20,689 --> 00:20:22,586 And the reason they had 11 kids 508 00:20:22,586 --> 00:20:24,655 is because they love kids. 509 00:20:24,655 --> 00:20:27,413 And we're not all perfect students, 510 00:20:27,413 --> 00:20:29,172 but we're all unique in our own way 511 00:20:29,172 --> 00:20:30,724 and we love each other. 512 00:20:30,724 --> 00:20:34,172 It's all thanks to these beautiful, frazzled, 513 00:20:34,172 --> 00:20:36,931 disorganized, amazing parents. 514 00:20:36,931 --> 00:20:39,344 So if you're gonna blame anyone for tonight, 515 00:20:39,344 --> 00:20:40,931 blame me. 516 00:20:40,931 --> 00:20:42,965 I should've worked harder on your class. 517 00:20:45,758 --> 00:20:48,206 In all my years of teaching, 518 00:20:48,206 --> 00:20:49,931 that was the most heartfelt speech 519 00:20:49,931 --> 00:20:52,000 I've ever heard. 520 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,344 And I agree. 521 00:20:54,344 --> 00:20:56,448 You should've worked harder. 522 00:20:56,448 --> 00:20:57,862 [buzzer sounds] 523 00:21:01,206 --> 00:21:03,241 The truth is, in life, 524 00:21:03,241 --> 00:21:05,172 nothing is given to you. 525 00:21:05,172 --> 00:21:07,137 The only way to get anywhere is with hard work, 526 00:21:07,137 --> 00:21:09,137 and as parents, it's important for us 527 00:21:09,137 --> 00:21:11,448 to be tough but fair. 528 00:21:11,448 --> 00:21:13,137 And when we look at you kids, 529 00:21:13,137 --> 00:21:14,448 we can see that each of you 530 00:21:14,448 --> 00:21:16,206 is passionate in your own way: 531 00:21:16,206 --> 00:21:18,379 Luna with music, Luan with comedy, 532 00:21:18,379 --> 00:21:20,379 Lisa with science, Leni with fashion, 533 00:21:20,379 --> 00:21:22,310 Lana with tools-- - Dad. 534 00:21:22,310 --> 00:21:23,586 We know what we're good at. 535 00:21:23,586 --> 00:21:25,827 Okay. The point is, 536 00:21:25,827 --> 00:21:28,172 we don't care what the Royal Woods school system 537 00:21:28,172 --> 00:21:30,482 says. 538 00:21:30,482 --> 00:21:32,758 You guys are tops in our book. 539 00:21:32,758 --> 00:21:35,103 And I... 540 00:21:35,103 --> 00:21:39,103 am the greatest dad who ever lived! 541 00:21:39,103 --> 00:21:41,206 [bicycle horn toots] 542 00:21:41,206 --> 00:21:44,275 [sunny music] 543 00:21:44,275 --> 00:21:46,517 - [yelps excitedly] - [laughs] 544 00:21:46,517 --> 00:21:48,758 Here we go. There you go, you animals. 545 00:21:48,758 --> 00:21:50,344 There you go. All right, one at a time. 546 00:21:50,344 --> 00:21:51,724 One at a time. 547 00:21:51,724 --> 00:21:53,275 There you go. There you go. 548 00:21:53,275 --> 00:21:56,137 There you go. [laughs] 549 00:21:56,137 --> 00:21:57,310 You're the GOAT, Dad. 550 00:21:57,310 --> 00:21:58,827 Aw. 551 00:21:58,827 --> 00:22:00,448 Greatest dad who ever lived? 552 00:22:00,448 --> 00:22:01,620 - Too much? - Mm. 553 00:22:01,620 --> 00:22:02,620 - Eh? - Nah. 554 00:22:02,620 --> 00:22:04,068 Let's eat. 555 00:22:04,068 --> 00:22:09,172 ♪ ♪