1
00:00:23,931 --> 00:00:25,551
Okay, back
to the middle school,
2
00:00:25,551 --> 00:00:27,482
then the elementary school,
and then the high school.
3
00:00:27,482 --> 00:00:30,241
Okay.
Boy, we have a lot of kids.
4
00:00:30,241 --> 00:00:31,827
We got this.
5
00:00:31,827 --> 00:00:33,103
- Hey, Mom--
- Oh.
6
00:00:33,103 --> 00:00:34,379
What's for dinner?
7
00:00:34,379 --> 00:00:36,655
Yeah, what's the dealio
with the mealio?
8
00:00:36,655 --> 00:00:38,965
Oh, sorry, guys.
It's fend for yourself night.
9
00:00:46,793 --> 00:00:48,655
Another fend for yourself
night, Mother?
10
00:00:48,655 --> 00:00:50,068
I don't mean to be persnickety,
11
00:00:50,068 --> 00:00:52,172
but you and Dad are really
dropping the ball lately.
12
00:00:52,172 --> 00:00:54,000
I'm sorry if we've been
extra flustered,
13
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:57,103
but tonight is
parent-teacher conferences.
14
00:00:59,724 --> 00:01:01,551
You wouldn't think
my sisters and I
15
00:01:01,551 --> 00:01:04,103
would be so excited about
parent-teacher conferences,
16
00:01:04,103 --> 00:01:06,758
but every year, Dad promises
17
00:01:06,758 --> 00:01:09,068
that if more than half of us
get a positive review,
18
00:01:09,068 --> 00:01:10,310
he'll treat us
19
00:01:10,310 --> 00:01:11,896
to the biggest dessert
in Royal Woods:
20
00:01:11,896 --> 00:01:15,275
Auntie Pam's Banana Split
in a Canoe.
21
00:01:16,931 --> 00:01:19,206
Are all dinners going to be
this disorganized?
22
00:01:19,206 --> 00:01:20,448
If so, I may sign up
23
00:01:20,448 --> 00:01:22,068
for a meal service
at Sunset Canyon.
24
00:01:22,068 --> 00:01:24,137
Well, we've got nine kids
at three different schools,
25
00:01:24,137 --> 00:01:26,034
so, all things considered,
I think your dad and I
26
00:01:26,034 --> 00:01:28,620
have things very under control.
27
00:01:28,620 --> 00:01:30,310
Lynn, let's go!
We're late!
28
00:01:30,310 --> 00:01:32,241
Who's ready for a wedding?
29
00:01:32,241 --> 00:01:35,413
It's parent-teacher
conferences.
30
00:01:35,413 --> 00:01:36,448
That's tonight?
31
00:01:36,448 --> 00:01:37,896
- Yes.
- Oh.
32
00:01:37,896 --> 00:01:39,620
Well, I hope they don't beat
us up too much this year.
33
00:01:39,620 --> 00:01:40,965
Although this could be the year
34
00:01:40,965 --> 00:01:43,000
the Loud family finally turns
things around.
35
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,137
I'm gonna go put on
my lucky corduroys.
36
00:01:45,137 --> 00:01:46,758
No, no, there's no time
for that.
37
00:01:46,758 --> 00:01:47,862
Is this fragile?
38
00:01:47,862 --> 00:01:49,517
No.
39
00:01:49,517 --> 00:01:50,758
Oh!
- Let's go.
40
00:01:50,758 --> 00:01:52,620
Okay.
41
00:01:54,413 --> 00:01:57,827
Let's do this.
42
00:01:57,827 --> 00:01:59,758
Since Clyde is
an honorary member
43
00:01:59,758 --> 00:02:01,000
of the Loud family,
44
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,448
he's therefore eligible
to partake
45
00:02:02,448 --> 00:02:04,344
in spoils of our victory.
46
00:02:06,448 --> 00:02:08,241
Clyde has agreed
to track the conference results
47
00:02:08,241 --> 00:02:10,344
as they unfold.
48
00:02:11,689 --> 00:02:14,620
Tonight,
the parent-teacher tracker 3800
49
00:02:14,620 --> 00:02:16,448
is gonna provide
up-to-the-minute projections
50
00:02:16,448 --> 00:02:17,827
for this contest.
51
00:02:17,827 --> 00:02:20,034
We've got microphones
under the desks,
52
00:02:20,034 --> 00:02:21,379
cameras in the smartboards
53
00:02:21,379 --> 00:02:23,310
to provide
real-time information.
54
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:24,517
What's at stake?
55
00:02:24,517 --> 00:02:26,862
Auntie Pam's Banana Split
in a Canoe.
56
00:02:26,862 --> 00:02:28,620
Oh, my God,
that is my favorite.
57
00:02:28,620 --> 00:02:29,931
How do we get there?
58
00:02:29,931 --> 00:02:31,896
The Louds will need
more good reviews
59
00:02:31,896 --> 00:02:33,482
than bad ones
from the teachers.
60
00:02:33,482 --> 00:02:34,827
With nine reviews total,
61
00:02:34,827 --> 00:02:37,206
the magic number
is five good ones.
62
00:02:37,206 --> 00:02:38,448
We're gonna do it this year.
63
00:02:38,448 --> 00:02:40,379
Three schools,
eight teachers,
64
00:02:40,379 --> 00:02:42,827
51 scoops of ice cream
on the line,
65
00:02:42,827 --> 00:02:44,379
51 scoops?
66
00:02:44,379 --> 00:02:45,862
It's gonna be a close night.
67
00:02:45,862 --> 00:02:48,000
This is gonna be
a piece of cake,
68
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:51,448
or, should I say,
a canoe full of ice cream.
69
00:02:54,413 --> 00:02:56,068
Ooh.
Okay, let's do this.
70
00:02:56,068 --> 00:02:57,379
What time does
the first conference start?
71
00:02:57,379 --> 00:02:59,379
- 00.
- And who's the first kid?
72
00:02:59,379 --> 00:03:01,068
Uh, Lucy.
73
00:03:04,379 --> 00:03:06,413
Lucy's got her quirks,
but those quirks
74
00:03:06,413 --> 00:03:07,965
are mostly contained
to the home.
75
00:03:07,965 --> 00:03:09,793
Our projections
have her leaning good.
76
00:03:09,793 --> 00:03:12,103
Lucy is very well behaved
in class.
77
00:03:12,103 --> 00:03:13,310
Hot start.
78
00:03:13,310 --> 00:03:14,413
Reads well
above her grade level.
79
00:03:14,413 --> 00:03:16,206
Oh, yeah!
80
00:03:16,206 --> 00:03:18,551
This semester, we did
our unit on poetry.
81
00:03:18,551 --> 00:03:20,896
All of the kids recited
a poem of their choice
82
00:03:20,896 --> 00:03:23,724
Your sweet Lucy recited
a beautiful piece...
83
00:03:23,724 --> 00:03:25,000
both: Aw.
84
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,965
That turned out to be
an incantation...
85
00:03:26,965 --> 00:03:28,275
both: Oh.
86
00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:29,862
That summoned
the nether beast.
87
00:03:29,862 --> 00:03:31,310
both: Oh.
88
00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:49,517
So, does she get
a positive review?
89
00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:06,344
All good from me.
90
00:04:08,034 --> 00:04:09,862
both: Great.
91
00:04:09,862 --> 00:04:11,896
Don't look back.
Don't look back.
92
00:04:11,896 --> 00:04:13,517
Good start
for the Loud family.
93
00:04:13,517 --> 00:04:14,827
Lucy has gone good.
94
00:04:15,793 --> 00:04:17,379
So we're gonna take one scoop
95
00:04:17,379 --> 00:04:19,000
and move it over
to the victory canoe.
96
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,482
Next up...
97
00:04:20,482 --> 00:04:22,206
Oh!
98
00:04:22,206 --> 00:04:24,758
Uh, Leni.
99
00:04:26,965 --> 00:04:28,931
Leni started out strong
in the early years
100
00:04:28,931 --> 00:04:30,793
but has really struggled
since grades changed
101
00:04:30,793 --> 00:04:32,517
from smiley faces
to letters.
102
00:04:32,517 --> 00:04:33,931
I think she has a chance.
103
00:04:33,931 --> 00:04:36,034
- She's so nice and sweet.
- Everyone loves Leni.
104
00:04:36,034 --> 00:04:37,413
She sounds amazing.
105
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,448
She's not
the most academic person,
106
00:04:40,448 --> 00:04:43,448
but she has been working
really hard lately.
107
00:04:43,448 --> 00:04:45,344
Hi!
We're Leni's parents.
108
00:04:47,482 --> 00:04:49,862
Thank you for your time.
109
00:04:49,862 --> 00:04:52,517
Leni slides
into the negative column.
110
00:04:52,517 --> 00:04:53,551
This is ridiculous.
111
00:04:53,551 --> 00:04:55,103
The refs just hate the Louds.
112
00:04:55,103 --> 00:04:56,172
You mean the teachers?
113
00:04:56,172 --> 00:04:57,482
They're all in it together.
114
00:04:57,482 --> 00:05:01,103
So instead of a scoop,
we're getting a splat.
115
00:05:01,931 --> 00:05:04,068
Yes, I'd like to preorder
the Banana Split in a Canoe
116
00:05:04,068 --> 00:05:06,068
with extra whipped cream.
117
00:05:06,068 --> 00:05:07,379
What's that?
118
00:05:07,379 --> 00:05:09,620
However much
makes you throw up.
119
00:05:09,620 --> 00:05:11,827
Uh, call you back, Marsha.
120
00:05:11,827 --> 00:05:13,241
You're pretty cocky for a guy
121
00:05:13,241 --> 00:05:16,000
who still hasn't turned in
their midterm essay
122
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,206
to Mr. Bolhofner.
123
00:05:17,206 --> 00:05:19,758
Clyde, here's
the dirty little secret.
124
00:05:19,758 --> 00:05:21,689
It doesn't matter how I do.
125
00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:24,103
This is the first year
that Lisa gets a conference.
126
00:05:24,103 --> 00:05:25,655
She's gonna be the star
of first grade.
127
00:05:25,655 --> 00:05:26,758
Are you sure?
128
00:05:26,758 --> 00:05:28,517
She's got a 300 IQ,
129
00:05:28,517 --> 00:05:29,896
and she puts her toys away.
130
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:33,137
Trust me, with Lisa in the mix,
we can't lose.
131
00:05:34,448 --> 00:05:37,517
Wow, Leni's teacher
did not mince words.
132
00:05:37,517 --> 00:05:39,241
He just went "phbbt."
133
00:05:39,241 --> 00:05:41,482
Well, on the bright side,
134
00:05:41,482 --> 00:05:43,137
bought us 13 extra minutes.
135
00:05:43,137 --> 00:05:44,689
Ooh.
136
00:05:48,413 --> 00:05:49,586
Lynn! wake up!
137
00:05:49,586 --> 00:05:51,103
Oh! Oh!
The wedding!
138
00:05:51,103 --> 00:05:53,034
No, we're late
for our next conference.
139
00:05:53,034 --> 00:05:55,068
Oh, oh, yeah.
140
00:06:12,482 --> 00:06:13,655
Oh.
141
00:06:13,655 --> 00:06:14,655
Okay, who's next?
142
00:06:14,655 --> 00:06:15,655
Uh, Lisa.
143
00:06:15,655 --> 00:06:17,241
Ah, let's do it.
144
00:06:17,241 --> 00:06:18,620
So sorry we're late.
145
00:06:18,620 --> 00:06:20,310
- Tell us about Luan.
- Luna.
146
00:06:20,310 --> 00:06:21,379
Lisa.
147
00:06:21,379 --> 00:06:23,241
both: Lisa.
148
00:06:23,241 --> 00:06:26,310
Lisa's extremely gifted academically.
149
00:06:26,310 --> 00:06:28,344
Unfortunately, in first grade,
we focus much more
150
00:06:28,344 --> 00:06:29,413
on social skills
151
00:06:29,413 --> 00:06:32,482
and playing well with others
152
00:06:32,482 --> 00:06:34,586
You call that a block tower?
153
00:06:34,586 --> 00:06:36,896
It's not even
structurally sound.
154
00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:39,103
What if there's an earthquake?
155
00:06:41,862 --> 00:06:44,793
Youth is no excuse
for ignorance, Ethan.
156
00:06:44,793 --> 00:06:48,620
I'm sorry
to have to do this, but...
157
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,655
Wow, this one
is definitely a shocker.
158
00:06:52,655 --> 00:06:54,310
Lisa Loud has gone bad.
159
00:06:54,310 --> 00:06:55,517
all: What?
160
00:06:55,517 --> 00:06:57,034
How does that even make
any sense?
161
00:06:58,482 --> 00:06:59,827
Ethan.
162
00:06:59,827 --> 00:07:01,137
I'd like to order marshmallows
163
00:07:01,137 --> 00:07:02,482
brownie bites,
164
00:07:02,482 --> 00:07:05,620
and in terms of sprinkles,
what is the limit?
165
00:07:08,275 --> 00:07:12,689
No!
166
00:07:15,724 --> 00:07:18,482
No!
167
00:07:18,482 --> 00:07:19,689
Clyde, we're doomed!
168
00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:21,379
If I can't count on Lisa,
169
00:07:21,379 --> 00:07:23,758
then I definitely can't count
on the rest of my sisters.
170
00:07:23,758 --> 00:07:25,758
Now I need a good review.
171
00:07:25,758 --> 00:07:27,620
Maybe they'll surprise you.
172
00:07:35,827 --> 00:07:37,310
That's gonna leave a mark.
173
00:07:38,793 --> 00:07:41,034
Okay, you definitely need
a good review.
174
00:07:41,034 --> 00:07:43,793
Oh, but how am I gonna
convince Mr. Bolhofner
175
00:07:43,793 --> 00:07:46,034
that I'm a better student
than I actually am?
176
00:07:46,034 --> 00:07:47,931
You could start by turning in
your midterm essay.
177
00:07:47,931 --> 00:07:50,586
I could start by writing
my midterm essay.
178
00:07:50,586 --> 00:07:52,620
You haven't started?
179
00:07:52,620 --> 00:07:54,758
No, Clyde,
180
00:07:54,758 --> 00:07:55,965
we haven't started.
181
00:08:11,551 --> 00:08:12,862
Really?
182
00:08:17,965 --> 00:08:19,241
Lynn's classroom is this way.
183
00:08:19,241 --> 00:08:20,551
No, no, no, no.
It's that way.
184
00:08:20,551 --> 00:08:22,172
I think I know
my way around.
185
00:08:27,172 --> 00:08:29,275
I love you.
- I know.
186
00:08:30,724 --> 00:08:32,689
Next up, Lynn Loud.
187
00:08:32,689 --> 00:08:34,413
Yeah!
188
00:08:34,413 --> 00:08:35,931
Go Lynn! Go Lynn!
189
00:08:35,931 --> 00:08:39,206
Whoo-hoo! Go Lynn!
190
00:08:39,206 --> 00:08:41,241
Ow! My hammy!
191
00:08:41,241 --> 00:08:43,793
My hammy.
192
00:08:43,793 --> 00:08:44,965
Rookie mistake.
193
00:08:44,965 --> 00:08:46,965
I stretch before
all my comedy shows.
194
00:08:46,965 --> 00:08:48,862
I once pulled my neck muscle
doing a double take.
195
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:51,137
I gave it the old...
196
00:08:54,758 --> 00:08:56,620
I'm fine.
197
00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:58,620
Lynn is one
of the best athletes
198
00:08:58,620 --> 00:09:00,034
our school has ever seen.
199
00:09:00,034 --> 00:09:02,068
That's wonderful.
200
00:09:02,068 --> 00:09:03,413
We know.
201
00:09:03,413 --> 00:09:04,758
However...
202
00:09:04,758 --> 00:09:06,724
sometimes
her competitive nature
203
00:09:06,724 --> 00:09:08,379
bleeds into the classroom.
204
00:09:08,379 --> 00:09:10,000
Who would like
to erase the board
205
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:12,275
for a little extra credit?
206
00:09:12,275 --> 00:09:13,827
Agh!
207
00:09:15,655 --> 00:09:18,655
This is my house, Natalie.
208
00:09:18,655 --> 00:09:21,068
That's probably not good.
209
00:09:21,068 --> 00:09:24,448
Actually, Natalie is...
a lot,
210
00:09:24,448 --> 00:09:25,931
so it was nice to have her
out of class
211
00:09:25,931 --> 00:09:27,379
for a couple of weeks.
212
00:09:31,793 --> 00:09:33,655
Uh, we hope Natalie's okay.
213
00:09:33,655 --> 00:09:35,551
- So sad.
- Yeah.
214
00:09:35,551 --> 00:09:37,586
Lynn is gone good!
215
00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:41,689
Lynn Loud can play
through the pain!
216
00:09:41,689 --> 00:09:43,482
- Whoo!
- Go Lynn.
217
00:09:43,482 --> 00:09:45,241
Good job.
218
00:09:49,137 --> 00:09:51,241
Mr. Bolhofner?
Don't speak.
219
00:09:51,241 --> 00:09:53,000
Just listen.
220
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,241
I know my essay
was due yesterday,
221
00:09:55,241 --> 00:09:57,206
but I just wanted to be
really proud of it,
222
00:09:57,206 --> 00:10:00,137
and rest assured,
I wrote it by myself.
223
00:10:21,896 --> 00:10:23,827
Can I--
224
00:10:29,827 --> 00:10:30,931
With the Louds
back to even,
225
00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:32,517
we're now moving on
to Luan.
226
00:10:34,793 --> 00:10:36,724
You got it!
227
00:10:36,724 --> 00:10:38,482
Where'd you get that thing?
228
00:10:38,482 --> 00:10:41,413
Every comedian has
one of these in their prop box.
229
00:10:41,413 --> 00:10:43,206
They're funny.
230
00:10:43,206 --> 00:10:44,689
Not to me.
231
00:10:44,689 --> 00:10:46,172
Orthopedic accessories,
232
00:10:46,172 --> 00:10:48,827
especially those covering
the first seven vertebrae,
233
00:10:48,827 --> 00:10:51,172
are empirically humorous.
234
00:10:51,172 --> 00:10:52,344
What?
235
00:10:52,344 --> 00:10:54,413
Comedy isn't completely lost
on me.
236
00:11:00,137 --> 00:11:03,068
I'm so proud
you didn't hit any trash cans.
237
00:11:03,068 --> 00:11:04,862
Small victories.
238
00:11:04,862 --> 00:11:06,551
Oh!
239
00:11:06,551 --> 00:11:08,103
Oh.
240
00:11:09,793 --> 00:11:10,896
I'm good.
241
00:11:13,310 --> 00:11:15,758
Luan does have
a penchant for pranks.
242
00:11:17,275 --> 00:11:20,896
Fair warning: this gag
may cause excessive laughter.
243
00:11:24,793 --> 00:11:27,862
And this one
was a doozy.
244
00:11:27,862 --> 00:11:29,344
Ooh.
245
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:42,620
So you thought it was...
246
00:11:42,620 --> 00:11:44,310
Funny?
247
00:11:44,310 --> 00:11:45,724
No!
248
00:11:45,724 --> 00:11:48,034
I didn't!
249
00:11:48,034 --> 00:11:52,896
But because of Luan's
constant pranks,
250
00:11:52,896 --> 00:11:55,931
I have decided
to retire from teaching.
251
00:11:55,931 --> 00:11:59,172
She helped push me that way,
252
00:11:59,172 --> 00:12:02,689
and for that,
I have to thank her.
253
00:12:05,482 --> 00:12:06,827
- Yes!
- Yes!
254
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:08,689
Folks, we have Luan
going good.
255
00:12:19,344 --> 00:12:21,379
No students
permitted tonight.
256
00:12:21,379 --> 00:12:22,482
I know.
257
00:12:22,482 --> 00:12:24,448
I was going to hand in
my paper,
258
00:12:24,448 --> 00:12:26,827
but there was this nether beast
in the bathroom,
259
00:12:26,827 --> 00:12:28,551
and he stole it from me.
260
00:12:28,551 --> 00:12:30,827
Come on, Loud.
I was born at night,
261
00:12:30,827 --> 00:12:32,206
not last night.
262
00:12:32,206 --> 00:12:33,965
I've heard that excuse
a million times.
263
00:12:33,965 --> 00:12:36,068
I swear I wrote my paper.
264
00:12:36,068 --> 00:12:38,172
Just let me go home
and get another copy.
265
00:12:38,172 --> 00:12:40,793
Will you please let me do that?
266
00:12:40,793 --> 00:12:43,344
Hmm.
267
00:12:43,344 --> 00:12:44,965
Next up,
268
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:47,551
Lola and Lana.
269
00:12:47,551 --> 00:12:50,137
Lana and Lola are
absolute joys to be around.
270
00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:52,724
Any little problem they have,
they solve it.
271
00:12:52,724 --> 00:12:54,413
I'm sorry to say
272
00:12:54,413 --> 00:12:57,965
the class's pet iguana
has died of natural causes.
273
00:12:57,965 --> 00:13:00,000
Let's double-L this thing.
274
00:13:03,620 --> 00:13:06,034
There's nothing natural
about this death.
275
00:13:06,034 --> 00:13:08,034
So how'd she die?
276
00:13:08,034 --> 00:13:11,724
I... guana know.
277
00:13:18,482 --> 00:13:23,137
Looks like somebody
swallowed the evidence.
278
00:13:23,137 --> 00:13:25,586
Didn't Kevin have a paddle
with a ball on it?
279
00:13:28,034 --> 00:13:30,275
I was nowhere near
that iguana tank.
280
00:13:30,275 --> 00:13:32,482
Got somebody
to back up that story?
281
00:13:32,482 --> 00:13:35,344
I did it.
282
00:13:35,344 --> 00:13:37,724
So they solved the mystery!
283
00:13:37,724 --> 00:13:39,551
Yes, but sadly,
284
00:13:39,551 --> 00:13:41,793
there's still one mystery
they have yet to solve.
285
00:13:41,793 --> 00:13:42,896
Oh, really?
What's that?
286
00:13:42,896 --> 00:13:44,896
Grammar, spelling, and math.
287
00:13:46,172 --> 00:13:47,689
Folks, this is two scoops
of bad news
288
00:13:47,689 --> 00:13:49,655
with a drizzle of disaster.
289
00:13:49,655 --> 00:13:52,172
We can still do this.
We got Luna.
290
00:13:52,172 --> 00:13:54,103
I hate to be
a negative Nellie,
291
00:13:54,103 --> 00:13:55,896
but how many rock stars
do you know
292
00:13:55,896 --> 00:13:57,310
who did well in school?
293
00:13:57,310 --> 00:13:59,896
None of the cool ones,
that's for sure.
294
00:13:59,896 --> 00:14:01,620
Wait a minute.
295
00:14:01,620 --> 00:14:04,172
I'm receiving word
that Luna Loud has gone good,
296
00:14:04,172 --> 00:14:05,586
which makes it four to four.
297
00:14:09,137 --> 00:14:11,413
Mr. Bolhofner says
there's nothing I can do.
298
00:14:11,413 --> 00:14:13,586
I'm gonna get a zero
on my essay.
299
00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:17,000
Which means this race
will all come down to...
300
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,172
Lincoln Loud.
301
00:14:19,896 --> 00:14:23,379
No!
302
00:14:26,620 --> 00:14:27,655
I can't believe
it's all down to me.
303
00:14:27,655 --> 00:14:28,965
We're doomed.
304
00:14:28,965 --> 00:14:30,517
I didn't turn in my essay,
305
00:14:30,517 --> 00:14:31,758
and Mr. Bolhofner
306
00:14:31,758 --> 00:14:33,068
wasn't my biggest fan
to start with.
307
00:14:33,068 --> 00:14:34,275
Well, we didn't think
Luna was gonna get
308
00:14:34,275 --> 00:14:35,862
a thumbs-up,
but she surprised us.
309
00:14:35,862 --> 00:14:37,551
Luna, how'd you do it?
310
00:14:37,551 --> 00:14:39,068
Oh, I just got
Miss Hamilton
311
00:14:39,068 --> 00:14:40,275
two Mick Swagger tickets.
312
00:14:40,275 --> 00:14:44,344
♪ Transformation ♪
313
00:14:44,344 --> 00:14:47,862
♪ The scene is set
on the rock and roll nation ♪
314
00:14:47,862 --> 00:14:49,241
That's it!
315
00:14:49,241 --> 00:14:51,137
I need to get Mr. Bolhofner
a gift.
316
00:14:51,137 --> 00:14:52,620
I got it!
317
00:14:52,620 --> 00:14:55,241
He'll love this!
318
00:14:55,241 --> 00:14:56,758
This roll of paper towels.
319
00:14:58,379 --> 00:15:00,068
How about
this wrapped present?
320
00:15:00,068 --> 00:15:01,655
That's perfect!
321
00:15:01,655 --> 00:15:03,344
You just have to get
to Mr. Bolhofner
322
00:15:03,344 --> 00:15:04,517
before Mom and Dad do.
323
00:15:04,517 --> 00:15:05,689
How much time
does that give me?
324
00:15:05,689 --> 00:15:07,724
Approximately
seven minutes.
325
00:15:07,724 --> 00:15:09,620
Lisa...
326
00:15:09,620 --> 00:15:11,068
I've got a plan.
327
00:15:14,758 --> 00:15:16,344
All right.
328
00:15:16,344 --> 00:15:18,689
Last one: Lincoln.
329
00:15:18,689 --> 00:15:21,068
We've got seven minutes
to get there.
330
00:15:21,068 --> 00:15:22,793
I'll get us there in eight.
331
00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:28,793
These are rocket-powered
training wheels.
332
00:15:28,793 --> 00:15:30,448
If I hit this turbo boost,
333
00:15:30,448 --> 00:15:32,103
you'll be there
in under a minute...
334
00:15:32,103 --> 00:15:34,275
or possibly yesterday at 4:00.
335
00:15:34,275 --> 00:15:36,413
Thanks, Lisa.
336
00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:38,724
Bring us home
that banana split.
337
00:15:43,103 --> 00:15:45,103
I hope you don't mind
eating some bugs!
338
00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,896
Last stop: high school.
339
00:15:59,896 --> 00:16:02,034
No, you were supposed
to go to the middle school.
340
00:16:02,034 --> 00:16:03,586
Lincoln's in ninth grade.
341
00:16:03,586 --> 00:16:04,793
He's in sixth.
342
00:16:04,793 --> 00:16:06,689
Well, you had the chart
upside down.
343
00:16:32,310 --> 00:16:33,620
Let me guess.
344
00:16:33,620 --> 00:16:36,586
The nether beast
regurgitated your essay.
345
00:16:36,586 --> 00:16:38,551
Actually, Mr. Bolhofner,
346
00:16:38,551 --> 00:16:41,413
I came here because I know
what you do isn't easy,
347
00:16:41,413 --> 00:16:43,310
so I brought you this present.
348
00:16:45,206 --> 00:16:47,034
"Congratulations
on your wedding."
349
00:16:47,034 --> 00:16:48,241
Ha!
350
00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:50,137
I've been divorced
for ten years.
351
00:16:50,137 --> 00:16:52,793
Better late than never?
352
00:16:52,793 --> 00:16:55,275
Listen, Loud,
353
00:16:55,275 --> 00:16:57,137
you're always looking
to take the easy way out
354
00:16:57,137 --> 00:16:58,379
instead of doing the work.
355
00:16:58,379 --> 00:17:00,896
And like your paper,
which is late,
356
00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:02,482
so are your parents.
357
00:17:02,482 --> 00:17:04,448
I'm not surprised.
358
00:17:16,724 --> 00:17:18,586
I hate to throw my parents
under the bus,
359
00:17:18,586 --> 00:17:21,689
but we're talking about a canoe
full of ice cream.
360
00:17:21,689 --> 00:17:22,931
Come on.
361
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,758
I'm not surprised
my parents are late either.
362
00:17:27,758 --> 00:17:30,482
I wouldn't be surprised
if they didn't show up at all.
363
00:17:30,482 --> 00:17:33,034
I don't even think they know
what grade I'm in.
364
00:17:33,034 --> 00:17:34,241
The truth is,
365
00:17:34,241 --> 00:17:35,517
a big part of the reason
366
00:17:35,517 --> 00:17:36,896
I didn't turn my essay in
on time
367
00:17:36,896 --> 00:17:39,655
was because my parents
are so... scattered.
368
00:17:39,655 --> 00:17:42,586
Is this 7B?
Is this 7B?
369
00:17:42,586 --> 00:17:44,931
Why does this school
have so many classrooms?
370
00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:46,344
It's not
that they don't mean well,
371
00:17:46,344 --> 00:17:48,137
but they had 11 kids.
372
00:17:48,137 --> 00:17:51,034
11? Good gravy.
373
00:17:51,034 --> 00:17:52,896
They never have time
to help us with our homework
374
00:17:52,896 --> 00:17:54,896
or even basic hygiene.
375
00:17:54,896 --> 00:17:56,862
It's been so long
since my mom has done laundry
376
00:17:56,862 --> 00:17:59,689
that my dad is actually wearing
a tuxedo tonight.
377
00:17:59,689 --> 00:18:00,862
Mm.
378
00:18:00,862 --> 00:18:03,172
You paint a grim picture
there, Loud.
379
00:18:03,172 --> 00:18:04,689
I'm sorry about my paper.
380
00:18:04,689 --> 00:18:06,931
I'll try and do better on it
in the future.
381
00:18:06,931 --> 00:18:09,931
I'd work on it right now,
but I have to go home
382
00:18:09,931 --> 00:18:12,137
and make sure the rest
of my sisters get fed.
383
00:18:12,137 --> 00:18:14,379
It's fend for yourself night.
384
00:18:14,379 --> 00:18:17,275
Well, you know
what they say, Loud.
385
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,689
What doesn't kill you...
386
00:18:22,517 --> 00:18:23,689
Trust me, it's down here!
387
00:18:23,689 --> 00:18:25,482
You said that three times.
388
00:18:28,827 --> 00:18:30,689
Oh, hey, Mr. Bolhofner.
389
00:18:30,689 --> 00:18:31,862
I don't know
if I could take
390
00:18:31,862 --> 00:18:34,103
any more of your sad story, Loud.
391
00:18:34,103 --> 00:18:37,034
- Sorry we're late.
- We went to the wrong school.
392
00:18:37,034 --> 00:18:38,896
My husband thought Lincoln
was in ninth grade.
393
00:18:38,896 --> 00:18:40,344
Poor kid.
394
00:18:40,344 --> 00:18:41,793
And we also want to make
a blanket apology
395
00:18:41,793 --> 00:18:43,551
for any school trash cans
that may have been damaged.
396
00:18:43,551 --> 00:18:45,275
Definitely damaged.
397
00:18:45,275 --> 00:18:46,931
Enough of the chit-chat.
398
00:18:46,931 --> 00:18:48,862
This is my last conference
of the night,
399
00:18:48,862 --> 00:18:50,586
and I got a date
with a squirrel sausage
400
00:18:50,586 --> 00:18:52,965
that's been marinating
since Monday.
401
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:55,689
So let's cut to it.
402
00:18:55,689 --> 00:18:57,241
I've looked
over Lincoln's file,
403
00:18:57,241 --> 00:18:58,620
and I have decided...
404
00:19:05,551 --> 00:19:07,034
The kid gets a thumbs-up.
405
00:19:12,413 --> 00:19:15,206
But make no mistake.
406
00:19:15,206 --> 00:19:16,758
Lincoln's not up to snuff,
407
00:19:16,758 --> 00:19:19,896
and it's safe to say
the blame falls on you two.
408
00:19:19,896 --> 00:19:23,344
You look ridiculous,
and you're late.
409
00:19:23,344 --> 00:19:24,965
Pretty pathetic.
410
00:19:26,931 --> 00:19:29,620
You know what?
You're right.
411
00:19:29,620 --> 00:19:31,862
We're terrible parents.
412
00:19:31,862 --> 00:19:35,206
We're disorganized.
We're perpetually exhausted.
413
00:19:35,206 --> 00:19:38,068
Truth is, we had
way too many kids.
414
00:19:38,068 --> 00:19:40,068
But we wouldn't give
any of them back.
415
00:19:40,068 --> 00:19:41,137
Even if the state asked.
416
00:19:41,137 --> 00:19:42,275
Which they haven't.
417
00:19:42,275 --> 00:19:43,965
Yet.
418
00:19:43,965 --> 00:19:45,896
We won't take up
any more of your time,
419
00:19:45,896 --> 00:19:46,931
Mr. Bolhofner.
420
00:19:46,931 --> 00:19:48,758
We'll head home and...
421
00:19:48,758 --> 00:19:51,000
try to right all the wrongs
we've made as parents.
422
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,655
So many wrongs.
423
00:19:53,517 --> 00:19:55,586
Sounds like a plan.
424
00:19:56,482 --> 00:19:58,103
Wait.
425
00:19:58,103 --> 00:19:59,517
I don't deserve that thumbs-up.
426
00:19:59,517 --> 00:20:01,344
- Lincoln?
- What are you doing here?
427
00:20:01,344 --> 00:20:02,482
I wasn't gonna get
a good review
428
00:20:02,482 --> 00:20:03,448
from Mr. Bolhofner,
429
00:20:03,448 --> 00:20:04,965
and that meant
430
00:20:04,965 --> 00:20:07,034
we weren't gonna get
the ice cream.
431
00:20:07,034 --> 00:20:11,000
So I lied to him and said
you guys weren't good parents.
432
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,586
But the truth is,
433
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:14,482
you're the best parents
in the whole world.
434
00:20:16,103 --> 00:20:17,689
Sure, they're overwhelmed,
435
00:20:17,689 --> 00:20:20,689
but they're overwhelmed
because they had 11 kids.
436
00:20:20,689 --> 00:20:22,586
And the reason they had 11 kids
437
00:20:22,586 --> 00:20:24,655
is because they love kids.
438
00:20:24,655 --> 00:20:27,413
And we're not all
perfect students,
439
00:20:27,413 --> 00:20:29,172
but we're all unique
in our own way
440
00:20:29,172 --> 00:20:30,724
and we love each other.
441
00:20:30,724 --> 00:20:34,172
It's all thanks to these
beautiful, frazzled,
442
00:20:34,172 --> 00:20:36,931
disorganized, amazing parents.
443
00:20:36,931 --> 00:20:39,344
So if you're gonna blame
anyone for tonight,
444
00:20:39,344 --> 00:20:40,931
blame me.
445
00:20:40,931 --> 00:20:42,965
I should've worked harder
on your class.
446
00:20:45,758 --> 00:20:48,206
In all my years
of teaching,
447
00:20:48,206 --> 00:20:49,931
that was
the most heartfelt speech
448
00:20:49,931 --> 00:20:52,000
I've ever heard.
449
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,344
And I agree.
450
00:20:54,344 --> 00:20:56,448
You should've worked harder.
451
00:21:01,206 --> 00:21:03,241
The truth is, in life,
452
00:21:03,241 --> 00:21:05,172
nothing is given to you.
453
00:21:05,172 --> 00:21:07,137
The only way to get anywhere
is with hard work,
454
00:21:07,137 --> 00:21:09,137
and as parents,
it's important for us
455
00:21:09,137 --> 00:21:11,448
to be tough but fair.
456
00:21:11,448 --> 00:21:13,137
And when we look
at you kids,
457
00:21:13,137 --> 00:21:14,448
we can see that each of you
458
00:21:14,448 --> 00:21:16,206
is passionate
in your own way:
459
00:21:16,206 --> 00:21:18,379
Luna with music,
Luan with comedy,
460
00:21:18,379 --> 00:21:20,379
Lisa with science,
Leni with fashion,
461
00:21:20,379 --> 00:21:22,310
Lana with tools--
- Dad.
462
00:21:22,310 --> 00:21:23,586
We know what we're good at.
463
00:21:23,586 --> 00:21:25,827
Okay.
The point is,
464
00:21:25,827 --> 00:21:28,172
we don't care what
the Royal Woods school system
465
00:21:28,172 --> 00:21:30,482
says.
466
00:21:30,482 --> 00:21:32,758
You guys are tops
in our book.
467
00:21:32,758 --> 00:21:35,103
And I...
468
00:21:35,103 --> 00:21:39,103
am the greatest dad
who ever lived!
469
00:21:46,517 --> 00:21:48,758
Here we go.
There you go, you animals.
470
00:21:48,758 --> 00:21:50,344
There you go.
All right, one at a time.
471
00:21:50,344 --> 00:21:51,724
One at a time.
472
00:21:51,724 --> 00:21:56,137
There you go.
473
00:21:56,137 --> 00:21:57,310
You're the GOAT, Dad.
474
00:21:57,310 --> 00:21:58,827
Aw.
475
00:21:58,827 --> 00:22:00,448
Greatest dad
who ever lived?
476
00:22:00,448 --> 00:22:01,620
- Too much?
- Mm.
477
00:22:01,620 --> 00:22:02,620
- Eh?
- Nah.
478
00:22:02,620 --> 00:22:04,068
Let's eat.