1 00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:06,120 This programme contains some strong language 2 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:07,760 # My money doesn't jiggle jiggle It folds 3 00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:09,440 # I like to see you wiggle wiggle For sure 4 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:10,760 # If you wanna dribble dribble 5 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:13,800 # You know, riding in my Fiat You really have to see it 6 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:15,600 # Six feet two in a compact 7 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:17,000 # No slack 8 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:19,240 # Luckily the seats go back 9 00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:21,920 # I've got a knack to relax in my mind 10 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:25,080 # Sipping some red, red wine. # 11 00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:27,440 Woo! 12 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:30,400 That was incredible. You killed it! 13 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,400 At the home of Ashley Walters, 14 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:39,120 I was being treated to a recital of classic rap tracks. 15 00:00:39,160 --> 00:00:39,400 I was being treated to a recital of classic rap tracks. 16 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:42,800 Do you know a rap called 21 Seconds? BOTH:Yeah! 17 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:44,760 How does that one go? 18 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:48,720 # I got 21 seconds to flow I got 21 seconds to go 19 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:50,680 # Cos if you like me lemme know 20 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:53,040 # Let me in da studio I got 21 seconds before I got to go 21 00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:57,120 # 21 seconds, t-t-t 21 seconds, t-t-t 22 00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:58,520 You could have sang it with us. 23 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,160 I don't know the words, baby, I don't know... Yes, you do! 24 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:03,560 You are the person that sang it! 25 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:05,760 You're the person that sang it! Aw, shush. 26 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:08,760 So, should we get to the interview? 27 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:11,120 Yeah, I'm ready to go. You lead the way. 28 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:14,880 The actor and star of one of Britain's biggest TV exports 29 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:19,160 had let me in for a rare behind the scenes look at his life, 30 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:19,720 had let me in for a rare behind the scenes look at his life, 31 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:24,000 and to share the untold story of his rise to fame. 32 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:26,160 Is that good? You don't want to feel... 33 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:27,840 Like I look over-relaxed. 34 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:31,040 Sometimes you look at yourself and I'm like, "I look sort of lazy." 35 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:33,160 Like, "Tell me more about your career, Ashley..." 36 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:34,440 Do you know what I mean? 37 00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:37,160 I just don't want to look... Like, I want to look like I'm attentive 38 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:38,800 and respectful and paying attention. 39 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:41,880 It's all good, man, relax. Make yourself at home. Calm down, Louis. 40 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,280 I first met Ashley in Soho, 41 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:57,120 in the heart of London's trendy media village. 42 00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,000 He was hosting a screening 43 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:02,760 of the last season of his critically acclaimed series Top Boy, 44 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:05,360 which was about to be released on Netflix. 45 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,640 There he is. Hiya, how are you doing? 46 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:09,560 Good, man. Nice to meet you. 47 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:10,880 You too. I feel like I know you. 48 00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:13,480 Yeah. I feel like I know you as well. Watched a lot of your stuff. 49 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:15,720 This is my wife, Danielle. How do you do, Louis? 50 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:18,640 Nice to meet you, Danielle.Nice to meet you. Top Boy. The grand finale. 51 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,360 Yeah. Yeah. It's coming up. 52 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:21,640 I'm a big fan.Thank you. 53 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:23,560 And I'm from Southside.Are you? 54 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:25,000 So hopefully no beef. 55 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:28,160 No, no, no. We are good. We ain't got no beef, man. 56 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:31,240 Shall we go in?Yeah, man. Here we go. 57 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:34,760 Hi, everyone. 58 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:37,840 CHEERING 59 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:42,080 Good to see you all here. 60 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,360 Yeah. Look, Top Boy. 61 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:46,800 Last season. Final chapter for the show. 62 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:48,640 Final chapter for me. 63 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:52,200 It's been a show that I've been on for, like, over a decade. 64 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,920 Basically, everyone in this room is my circle. 65 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:58,880 Like, I don't have a really, really wide, wide circle. 66 00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:03,960 I very rarely come out of my house, as people know, unless I'm working. 67 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:04,440 I very rarely come out of my house, as people know, unless I'm working. 68 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:08,400 So I'm happy to be able to share it with you, 69 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:11,480 so you know that I'm not just hiding somewhere and avoiding you. 70 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:13,240 Like, I am actually out there working. 71 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,240 You know, this is what I've been doing. 72 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:19,040 All right. Episode one of Top Boy, guys. Enjoy. 73 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:24,520 Top Boy is a wildly popular drama series 74 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:27,080 set in a Hackney housing estate 75 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:31,520 in which Ashley stars as the drug kingpin, Dushane. 76 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:33,920 I've had a long fucking day, bro. 77 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:37,640 I'll give you a piece of advice. 78 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:41,440 Do what the fuck I'm telling you to do. 79 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:45,240 His smouldering authenticity in the role 80 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:48,280 has brought him international recognition 81 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:52,400 following years of work in British and American films and TV. 82 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:54,720 Yes. 83 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:57,720 # They don't know about my crew... # 84 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:00,680 But Ashley's path has been far from conventional, 85 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:04,120 including a pioneering role in the UK garage scene. 86 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:07,040 The best UK Garage Act is... 87 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,960 ..So Solid. 88 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:16,560 And a high-profile legal case and prison sentence 89 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:19,920 that threatened to permanently derail his career. 90 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:23,560 Ashley Walters, better known to his fans as Asher D, 91 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:24,840 was jailed for 18 months 92 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:27,000 after police found him with a loaded weapon. 93 00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:33,320 With his latest release, Ashley is a man enjoying his moment. 94 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:35,960 I'm so proud, man. Bless you. 95 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,360 Oh, man. 96 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,520 Oh, my God. 97 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:41,000 Amazing, Ash. 98 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:53,880 Though he grew up in Peckham, southeast London, 99 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:57,920 for the past few years, Ashley has lived in Kent on the Thames estuary, 100 00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:02,080 an area known for its beaches and its tranquillity. 101 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:02,280 an area known for its beaches and its tranquillity. 102 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:05,480 So what's the... What's this? 103 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:07,360 Our son wants a praying mantis. 104 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:09,760 And we said, "Well, if you can look after a stick insect, 105 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:11,440 "then you can have the praying mantis." 106 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:14,280 What's the name of the stick insect? Barry. Barry? 107 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:18,200 Barry, yeah. Does Barry have quite a lot of personality? 108 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:22,640 No. No. He's essentially a stick. Wow. 109 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:22,800 No. No. He's essentially a stick. Wow. 110 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,720 He's about to go on your face, that what he's about to do. 111 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,280 You think I'm going to be a wimp about this, but I'm not. 112 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:30,960 No. You know, I've, I've never... 113 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,800 I've never touched him. 114 00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:35,160 It's just like, I don't do insects. 115 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:37,440 Spiders. Spiders. Anything like that. Really? 116 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:39,920 Yeah. I'm the one that... Fly. Anything that flies. 117 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:43,760 Other than planes - don't bring them near me. 118 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,880 When the time came to speak, 119 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:50,640 I was hoping to understand 120 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:55,320 something of both Ashley's real-life struggles and his acting prowess 121 00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:58,200 and whether the two might even be related. 122 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:01,560 Thank you for doing this, man. 123 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:05,720 Why? 124 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:08,360 Because I don't like people in my house. 125 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:12,360 So even my family have a certain amount of time in here, 126 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:14,200 and then it's like... 127 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:17,920 No, I love my family, but I'm, like, quite a reserved, 128 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,680 introverted sort of person. 129 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:23,920 Having people in my space, do you know what I mean? 130 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:25,560 It's different for me. Yeah. 131 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:30,360 Um, social anxiety comes up for me a lot. 132 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,560 Appreciate it. Thank you for doing it. 133 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,600 No problem. Thank you for having me. 134 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:39,280 I'd like to start by reflecting on kind of where you are now 135 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,960 a little bit in terms of your career. 136 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,880 You're riding high. You've got this hit show, Top Boy. 137 00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:46,680 For people who don't know, 138 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:50,600 how would you characterise what the show is and who you are in it? 139 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:55,080 Top Boy is a TV drama about organised crime in east London 140 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:55,800 Top Boy is a TV drama about organised crime in east London 141 00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:59,320 and the journey of one man's attempt 142 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:03,920 to become top of the food chain in the drug game. 143 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:05,720 For me, Top Boy stood out 144 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:09,120 just for making characters human and 3D 145 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:13,600 and not getting your typical bad boy, gangster sort of stereotype. 146 00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:15,240 and not getting your typical bad boy, gangster sort of stereotype. 147 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:19,760 We were talking about mental health, we're talking about neglect, 148 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:19,880 We were talking about mental health, we're talking about neglect, 149 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:22,160 you're talking about poverty. 150 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:24,160 And for me, that was real. 151 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:26,400 You know, the drugs was a sideline 152 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:31,040 of what was going on in these people's heads. 153 00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:31,240 of what was going on in these people's heads. 154 00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:35,400 And I feel like if you're going to be playing drug dealers, 155 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:37,560 there are plenty of drug dealers out there. 156 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:39,440 And actually, this may sound really weird 157 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:41,480 and I don't want people to take it the wrong way, 158 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:43,160 but my main thing is to honour them. 159 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:45,360 Honour who? The drug dealers? 160 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,680 Well, yeah. If I'm playing a drug dealer, 161 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:50,960 I want drug dealers to watch the show and go, "That's good." Mm. 162 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:54,160 Like, "I feel like that resonates." 163 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:57,560 Has it felt like it's mainly a positive experience 164 00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,960 in terms of how it's been received? 165 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:03,040 There's been one or two high-profile people who called it out and said, 166 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:05,760 "This isn't what we need to be saying about the black community." 167 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:07,920 When that happened, I was quite shocked, actually. 168 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,440 Especially if they're black. 169 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,760 If you look at what Top Boy's done, 170 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:17,280 it's probably our only show from that genre that exports worldwide. 171 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:19,560 it's probably our only show from that genre that exports worldwide. 172 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:24,480 Outside of that, we have maybe Sex Education, The Crown 173 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:25,000 Outside of that, we have maybe Sex Education, The Crown 174 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:27,720 and just period drama in general. 175 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:29,520 Downton Abbey.Downton Abbey. 176 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:30,920 Doctor Who.Doctor Who. 177 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:32,600 Which you've also been in. 178 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:35,360 Which I've also been in. 179 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:38,120 That was a good episode. Thank you very much. 180 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:42,320 I think Doctor Who fans are, like, a lot wilder than Top Boy fans. 181 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:44,440 Whovian is the word you're looking for. 182 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:48,400 Oh, is that, is that the term, yeah? OK. 183 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:51,280 Whovian. You learn something... You kind of have to be a Whovian 184 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:53,040 to know the word Whovian.Mm. 185 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:55,560 I'm Doctor Who at six o'clock and Top Boy at 9.30. 186 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,120 Well, there you go. 187 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:01,600 But your point was that Top Boy had reached that pinnacle of, 188 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:02,880 well, international reach. 189 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:05,680 And actually, we should celebrate something that has that level... 190 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:08,200 We should celebrate it. And it's a door opener. 191 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:10,680 The point I was trying to make is if you don't like it, 192 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:14,480 you don't like it, that's fine. But it's more than just a TV show. 193 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:16,840 It's a bit of history, 194 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:20,960 and it's a door that's open now for a lot of black actors and creatives. 195 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,240 and it's a door that's open now for a lot of black actors and creatives. 196 00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:31,560 You should be worrying about my money, though. 197 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:35,560 Ashley's success comes off the back of years of learning his craft 198 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:39,240 as a jobbing actor in theatre and film and TV, 199 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:43,560 starting aged just 14 with a role in Grange Hill. 200 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:47,200 Hi, sis, I've got it all worked out, right? 201 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:48,440 The party was your idea 202 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:50,960 and I was in my room all night doing my homework, yeah? 203 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:54,120 Joke! Just a joke. 204 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:57,960 MUSIC: 21 Seconds by So Solid Crew 205 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:01,680 But he had his first blush of fame in his late teens, 206 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:06,160 making music under the name Asher D after joining So Solid Crew, 207 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:06,240 making music under the name Asher D after joining So Solid Crew, 208 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:09,000 a collective of MCs and producers 209 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:12,360 formed by south London rap mogul Mega Man. 210 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:17,960 So Solid had four top ten hits to their name, 211 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:21,000 including the legendary 21 Seconds... 212 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:23,440 # I got 21 seconds to go... # 213 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:27,360 ..before disintegrating under the weight of criminal cases 214 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:28,760 and government disapproval. 215 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,760 # I got 21 seconds before I got to go. # 216 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,120 Shall we talk about So Solid, 217 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:41,120 this legendary foundational rap collective? 218 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:43,560 Well, garage collective.Mm. 219 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:46,280 It's amazing how quickly it all blew up.Mm. 220 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:48,960 It felt like the culture had been waiting 221 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,440 for something like this to happen, 222 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,400 something that felt homegrown and authentic 223 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:54,160 and a little bit dangerous. 224 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:58,080 There was a lot of voiceless people at that time. 225 00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:01,080 You know, what we spoke or what we stood for 226 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:04,560 was, like, a disenfranchised sort of youth 227 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:07,920 that just felt neglected and left out. 228 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:09,600 It became a huge story, 229 00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:13,520 and the idea that So Solid was associated with negativity. 230 00:11:13,560 --> 00:11:15,680 Home Secretary David Blunkett 231 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:19,280 made a sort of disparaging remark about the group, you know, 232 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:21,600 "They're contributing to gun crime, 233 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:25,200 "they're part of this rampant social problem that we have." 234 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:28,040 I just wonder what that felt like from the inside. 235 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:31,240 We felt we were like the correspondents, I guess, 236 00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:32,920 of our space. 237 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:34,800 Do you know what I'm saying? 238 00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:37,200 Because we were out there on the front line 239 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,000 reporting what was going on around us, 240 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:41,000 because no-one else was talking about it. 241 00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:44,080 I mean, a lot of the time, my music was about fear. 242 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:47,120 It was about fearing for my life. 243 00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:50,320 When people are outside your house pointing guns at you, 244 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:53,720 or shooting at your car or whatever, then there is a threat. 245 00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:56,640 These things were happening? These things were happening, yeah. 246 00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:58,760 You said you had a gun pulled on you 247 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:01,600 when you were carrying your baby at the time?Mm. 248 00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:02,760 Yeah. 249 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:07,760 What was that all about? Do you know who it was? 250 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:09,080 Just intimidation. 251 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,240 I made a comment on radio. 252 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:13,920 Lyrics that I'd wrote, someone was copying 253 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:16,240 and I just made a passing comment of, like, 254 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:18,200 "Whoever's doing that, be original." 255 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:19,560 You know what I mean? 256 00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:23,840 Maybe said it in a slightly more aggressive way than that. 257 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:23,920 Maybe said it in a slightly more aggressive way than that. 258 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:27,520 And they pulled up at my house. 259 00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:29,720 Like, I had to learn a lot of lessons. 260 00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:33,000 I wasn't... I was never the one from the group, 261 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:35,640 and I put my hands up and say this, I didn't... 262 00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:38,520 My upbringing was OK. Do you know what I mean? 263 00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:41,920 I didn't grow up rich, 264 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:45,360 but I had no reason to sell drugs or to be out on the street. 265 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:47,200 Do you get what I'm saying? 266 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:50,720 But I was walking with some real gangsters at the time, 267 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:53,960 so, easy for me to become a target. 268 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,680 And then there came a time when you went and got... 269 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:58,880 I went and bought a gun. A gun. 270 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:01,240 Yeah. For £1,300. 271 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,240 Is that right? 272 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:05,160 You done the research. That's what it said. 273 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:07,080 It seemed quite expensive. 274 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,480 Yeah. Probably was. 275 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:11,400 Especially because it said it was a modified air pistol.Yeah. 276 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:14,040 When you think of air pistol, doesn't sound, 277 00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:16,080 I mean, I don't mean to, I don't know, 278 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:18,360 I'm in danger of trivialising it. 279 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,840 Dangerous enough. Dangerous enough. 280 00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:22,680 Where did you get the gun from? 281 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:24,560 Nowhere. 282 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,120 Dates, names, places. 283 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:28,240 You must be crazy. 284 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:29,680 Was it hard to get it? 285 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,680 No. 286 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:34,400 My aim was to protect myself. 287 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:38,800 But it's something that comes with owning a firearm, 288 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:39,000 But it's something that comes with owning a firearm, 289 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:43,040 like a sense of power, 290 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:48,040 entitlement that grew within me. 291 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:48,320 entitlement that grew within me. 292 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:52,400 So at some point, it stopped being about fear 293 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:55,840 and more about control. 294 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:58,720 Know what I mean? Mm-hm. 295 00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:02,040 I think that's where it kind of went wrong for me. 296 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:07,560 How I got caught was having an argument with a traffic warden, 297 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:08,040 How I got caught was having an argument with a traffic warden, 298 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:12,480 and I made some harsh comments that involved firearms. 299 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:15,280 You said, "I'm going to come and shoot you." Something like that. 300 00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:16,920 Along those lines. 301 00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:19,280 Presumably, you didn't mean it. 302 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:21,360 No. 303 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,680 No, I weren't willing to risk my liberty 304 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:25,720 over shooting a traffic warden. 305 00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:30,160 But, I mean, I made my comments. Said what I said. 306 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:30,880 But, I mean, I made my comments. Said what I said. 307 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:33,000 But, yeah, I left and not too long after, 308 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:37,360 armed police stopped me in Haymarket and arrested me. 309 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:37,480 armed police stopped me in Haymarket and arrested me. 310 00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:40,320 In Haymarket in the West End? In the West End. Yeah. 311 00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:43,000 Did they pull guns on you?Yeah. 312 00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:44,920 Were you with your girlfriend at the time? 313 00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:46,960 I was. She was in the vehicle? And my kids. 314 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,000 And your kids as well?Mm. 315 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:54,080 That sounds horrific. It was horrific, 316 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:57,320 but my biggest regret is that my kids were there. 317 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:02,840 They gave you 18 months? 318 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:05,560 Yeah. And then you did seven months in the end? 319 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:06,720 Yeah. 320 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:09,640 And it was a tough time. 321 00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:11,000 It was a tough time. 322 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:13,680 But it was a long time ago. 323 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:16,160 And I think it's the most boring topic 324 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:20,520 that any interviewer could ever choose to talk to me about, 325 00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:20,600 that any interviewer could ever choose to talk to me about, 326 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:21,800 in my opinion. 327 00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:31,320 Yeah.Nah. Good bants. 328 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:37,880 Nah. Look, it was a big... It was a big part of my life 329 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:40,480 and I didn't ever want to go back. 330 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:43,640 Back to prison? Yeah, back to prison. Yeah. 331 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:50,840 Ashley's imprisonment 332 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:54,320 and a bout of depression that followed after he was released 333 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:56,400 would turn out to be his lowest ebb, 334 00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:59,680 but also the beginning of a comeback. 335 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:01,760 Come on, sleepy head. Time to go home. 336 00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:05,000 With his role in Bullet Boy, 337 00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:09,000 a film written for him based on his real-life prison experience, 338 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:11,600 he embarked on a full-time acting career. 339 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:13,680 How many men, yeah, go to jail, yeah, 340 00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:16,720 and have their mum come to pick them up after that? 341 00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:18,360 It's a bit embarrassing, innit? 342 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:22,360 How long have you been in this house, if I may ask? 343 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,080 Just over two years. 344 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:25,760 You got so much space. 345 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:27,520 Yeah, it's a lot of space. 346 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:30,360 This will be an indoor swimming pool. Gym. 347 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:33,360 I'd like to get, like, a cinema here as well. 348 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:36,520 You said there was a planning application war? 349 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:39,080 What's that all about? There was, yeah. 350 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:40,240 We've appealed. 351 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:42,680 Now we're going to try and go to a committee. 352 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:46,120 And then, I mean, I guess after that... 353 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:48,320 ..it's moving, really. 354 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:50,960 I thought you were going to say something else.No. 355 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:55,200 No, not any more. 356 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:57,800 I'm a changed man. 357 00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:01,200 So you've got the history of So Solid, really, in CD form? 358 00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:03,320 Well, some plaques that I earned, 359 00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:07,240 {\an8}got the Platinum Sales Award for the album. 360 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:09,720 That was our first album, They Don't know. 361 00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:12,240 I've got some clapperboards. 362 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:14,000 Clapperboards.Yeah. 363 00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:17,640 But we've got, look, A Thousand Blows, which is a TV show. 364 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:19,080 That's a new project. 365 00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:21,240 This is my third directing job. 366 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:23,600 That looks cool. It's a period drama.Period drama. 367 00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:26,800 Created by the guy who created Peaky Blinders. 368 00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:28,320 Is that right?Yeah, Steven Knight. 369 00:17:28,360 --> 00:17:30,800 So they actually... I've never done that before.No? 370 00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:33,400 30 years, I've been in television. 371 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:36,640 That's the first time I've ever done that. 372 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:37,880 It feels good. 373 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:39,320 And... 374 00:17:39,360 --> 00:17:40,600 Cut. 375 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,680 Is that your gym? Do you want to have a look? 376 00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:48,080 Come on, then. Do you do much working out? 377 00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:50,200 Every day, I work out, you know. 378 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:57,960 Wow. Impressive. 379 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:02,160 Yeah, that was a couple of years ago. 380 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:04,920 It's meant to be inspiration to get back. 381 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,480 Muscle-spiration.Hmm. 382 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:10,080 You're training, though, right? Do you have to ask? 383 00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:15,360 Should I see if I can pick up one of these or not? Test me... 384 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:16,640 Not that bad. 385 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:19,320 Curl it or lift it?The shoulders, mainly, with that one. 386 00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:21,080 Am I holding it the right way round? 387 00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:22,080 Yeah. 388 00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:23,720 Yeah, you are quite tall. 389 00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:25,720 That's not too bad. Nah. You're all right. 390 00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:27,720 That's not too bad, Rachel's smiling. 391 00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:29,000 Does it look ridiculous? 392 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:31,320 No. It looks... This is so light. 393 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:32,720 It's like a balloon. 394 00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:35,320 I feel like it's making you look, like, 395 00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:37,960 a lot stronger than you probably are. 396 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,160 How dare you? I heard that. 397 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:43,360 I don't think you can lift that up. 398 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,400 ASHLEY LAUGHS 399 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:51,000 That's what I would usually do. 400 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:53,320 Impressive. 401 00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:56,000 Point taken. 402 00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:57,080 Wow. 403 00:18:57,120 --> 00:18:59,840 You mentioned that you've stopped drinking. 404 00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:01,080 Yeah. 405 00:19:01,120 --> 00:19:03,680 One was never enough for me. 406 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:06,000 Me stopping coincided with lockdown. 407 00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:07,640 I was drinking most of the day. 408 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:11,080 I think it became apparent to everyone else around me 409 00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:15,120 that it was like, it's time. 410 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:17,200 Was it hard to stop? I will stick at something. 411 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:20,640 Do you know what I mean? Mm-hm. I've always been like that. 412 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:25,000 Once I'm on it, I will, I'll see it through to the end. 413 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:25,760 Once I'm on it, I will, I'll see it through to the end. 414 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:26,760 Mm-hm. 415 00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:29,640 You know? 416 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:33,240 Yeah. 417 00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:36,040 That is a huge spider. 418 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:37,440 Want me to sort it out? 419 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,480 I mean, you can say hello to it. Are you serious? 420 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:40,680 Come on. 421 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:42,240 Look at him. 422 00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:46,080 He wants nothing more than to have a cuddle with his friend Ashley. 423 00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:47,800 I'm going to take him outside. 424 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:49,920 Spiders are our friends. 425 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,040 Your friends. 426 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:09,480 Ashley's struggles with alcohol and his mental health 427 00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:13,200 are something he's been open about in interviews. 428 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:16,520 His move to Kent in 2021 with his wife of ten years, 429 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:21,080 Danielle Walters, also an actor, was in part in search of a calmer, 430 00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:25,600 lower profile existence away from the pressures of London life. 431 00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:26,720 lower profile existence away from the pressures of London life. 432 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:29,360 Max, come on, please, mate. Babe. 433 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:31,520 Come on, son. 434 00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:32,600 We had a deal. 435 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:35,200 If I buy a house, I'm allowed a dog. 436 00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:37,320 But she has to pick the dog. 437 00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:39,800 I'd like a couple of Dobermans. 438 00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:42,120 Anyway, I took what I could get. You love him, don't you? 439 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:43,520 Yeah, course I love Max. 440 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:46,920 I just wish he was a bit bigger and more vicious. 441 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:54,920 How did the two of you meet, may I ask? 442 00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:57,760 I was doing a show on MTV. 443 00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:01,840 And I was meant to have a love interest in this party scene. 444 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:05,160 And Dan was cast for that part. 445 00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:07,640 I apparently... I was wearing trousers. 446 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:10,640 And I apparently said to the wardrobe people, 447 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:12,840 she should be wearing a skirt. "Put her in a skirt." 448 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:14,840 That's exactly what he said. And I was like... 449 00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:17,240 This is the wrong narrative to be putting out there. I know. 450 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:20,120 Especially in 2023 with all the stuff that's going on with... 451 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:22,520 This was 20-odd years ago. ..with Me Too and that. 452 00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:24,360 I never... I know I never said that. 453 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:25,440 And if I did say it, 454 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:27,560 it was a creative decision. And then at lunch, 455 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:30,080 I was sitting by myself and he went, "Come over here." 456 00:21:30,120 --> 00:21:31,840 And I was like, "No." 457 00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:33,920 And he was like, "Come on, just come over here." 458 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,400 I sat with him, and then I thought, 459 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:38,080 "Do you know what," after the conversation, "He's quite cool. 460 00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:42,440 "He's all right." He was just being a... I don't know. An idiot. 461 00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:45,480 Something I was talking to Ashley about 462 00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:47,680 was how he's a very private person. 463 00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:50,760 Right? And maybe he's quite introspective. 464 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:54,360 And behind that is a certain level of social anxiety. 465 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:57,960 Right?Mm. I'm wondering whether there's a role that you play 466 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:01,320 in terms of taking care of Ashley's sort of wellbeing. 467 00:22:01,360 --> 00:22:04,000 Oh, 100%. I'm very, very protective of Ashley. 468 00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:05,920 Like, you see the other night 469 00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:10,360 when I went to that Evening Standard thing, right? I was in the tux. 470 00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:10,840 when I went to that Evening Standard thing, right? I was in the tux. 471 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:12,520 Yeah. And I FaceTimed you 472 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:16,080 and was on the phone with you, like, in the venue for how long? Yeah. 473 00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:18,600 And you stayed on the phone and talked with me 474 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:21,080 because you knew that I was uncomfortable. Yeah. 475 00:22:21,120 --> 00:22:22,920 And I just kind of wanted to go home. 476 00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:26,000 In the beginning, when we first started dating and stuff, 477 00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:27,560 I would bring you to events with me 478 00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,680 because I didn't know how to have small talk. 479 00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:31,840 Like, I found it really difficult 480 00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:34,360 to just strike up conversations with people, 481 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:36,160 and I just know Dan is a talker. 482 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:39,560 I'll talk to anyone. Yeah, and she can always break the ice. 483 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,840 So just having my back like that... 484 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:45,200 And I have to go, "Babe, it's all right. It's OK." True. 485 00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:46,720 "It's just fine." 486 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:54,560 Are those oyster beds over there? 487 00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:55,960 Yes, they are. Yeah. 488 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:59,520 This is apparently the biggest oyster farm in Europe. 489 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:01,760 They're world famous. 490 00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:04,400 You can find them in America sometimes. 491 00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:07,320 What? Whitstable Oysters? Yeah. Whitstable Oysters.Yeah. 492 00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:15,120 You all right? Can I get a portion of scampi? And half a dozen? Dozen? 493 00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:15,560 You all right? Can I get a portion of scampi? And half a dozen? Dozen? 494 00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:18,000 Get a dozen. A dozen oysters, please. 495 00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:20,120 I want a bit of everything. 496 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:21,640 Bit of lemon juice? 497 00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:23,960 Yeah. Yeah. Why not? 498 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,680 Cheers.Cheers. 499 00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:27,440 Mm-nm. 500 00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:32,800 Look at your face. Whoa.Did you chew it? That's tangy. 501 00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:35,840 Taste one. Are you out of your mind? 502 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:39,440 OK. I nearly threw up the last time I had an oyster. 503 00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:44,240 There's an oyster hater over here. 504 00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:45,600 MAN NEARBY: 505 00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,360 Well, let him have it, then. 506 00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:54,480 I only eat like 1,200, 1,200, 507 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,120 1,250 calories a day. 508 00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:59,640 So when I do have oysters, 509 00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:03,120 it's like my calorie intake is pretty much over. 510 00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:06,000 I didn't have you pegged as a calorie-counter. 511 00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:08,080 Well, I am at times. 512 00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:13,840 I am at times when I need to, when I need to lose weight. 513 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:17,520 Ashley was saying that he's stopped drinking, 514 00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:19,200 and that's been a positive. 515 00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:20,880 Big positive. 516 00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:22,240 A different person. 517 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:25,880 It caused arguments between us unnecessarily. 518 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:29,600 Just didn't need it in his life. 519 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:31,280 Do you do meetings? 520 00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:34,440 Yeah. Do you?Yeah, I do a lot of meetings. 521 00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:38,280 I mean, my life is pretty much based on recovery at this point 522 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,720 because I put it first. 523 00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:44,760 Because whatever I put before that, I was pretty much going to lose, 524 00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:46,720 if I'm honest with you. 525 00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:50,600 So I stay close to recovery, 526 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:52,920 I stay close to my fellowship. 527 00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:55,360 It's important to me. 528 00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:15,560 What made you decide to finally get married? 529 00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:17,160 My dream woman. 530 00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:20,360 Oh, I was hoping you weren't going to say that. 531 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:21,840 Yeah, well. 532 00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:24,040 Like, I loved her to death. 533 00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:28,240 And then I wanted to, like, hang up my boots. 534 00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:31,240 Had you been a bit of a Casanova in the past? 535 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:33,040 I wouldn't say a Casanova. 536 00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:34,840 That's not, that's not me. 537 00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:38,600 Don't get me wrong. I didn't shy away. 538 00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:41,640 Like, I still managed to end up with eight kids. 539 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:43,400 Eight kids. 540 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:45,760 I think it's just three relationships. 541 00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:47,840 Is that right? Yeah. Three's enough. 542 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:51,600 You had your first when you were just 17.Mm. 543 00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:54,280 That's very young.Mmm. 544 00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:55,960 And then you became a grandfather? 545 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:57,560 Yeah. 546 00:25:57,600 --> 00:25:59,640 When you were, what, 36? 547 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:02,240 30... 38...8. Yeah. 548 00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:06,400 Do you think you were able to be a good dad to the eight kids? 549 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:10,000 Try my best. Try my best. 550 00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:13,800 They may not have the desired relationships 551 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:15,880 that they want with me. 552 00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:20,080 I think mainly, I think mainly, that's with my older kids. 553 00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:20,680 I think mainly, I think mainly, that's with my older kids. 554 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:22,680 Do you know what I mean? Yeah. 555 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:24,360 I know, there have been moments 556 00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:27,400 where I haven't been the best dad, because I couldn't be. 557 00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:30,680 I wasn't around, or wasn't in the right place to be, right? 558 00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:35,440 I feel like with my dad, I held his past against him. 559 00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:38,960 I think my kids can sometimes do the same. 560 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:46,960 Ashley's father died in 2005, but before that, 561 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,640 he'd been an intermittent presence in Ashley's life. 562 00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:56,640 What was preventing him from seeing more of you 563 00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:57,880 when you were growing up? 564 00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:01,400 I think his own demons that he was battling with. 565 00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:06,000 He led quite a crazy lifestyle, you know, a lot of different women. 566 00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:07,800 A lot of different kids? 567 00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:09,200 Yeah. Yeah. 568 00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:11,920 Brushes with the law as well, maybe?Brushes with the law. 569 00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:14,600 Yeah. He sat down with the Queen quite a bit. 570 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:16,960 You said 17 times in one interview. 571 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,440 Yeah. Is that really possible? 572 00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:19,880 Yeah. 573 00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:21,720 He spent a lot of time... 574 00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:24,120 He spent a lot of time in prison. 575 00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:27,320 Do you feel like you had reached 576 00:27:27,360 --> 00:27:31,360 a point of mutual love and understanding 577 00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:33,880 by the end before he died? 578 00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:37,320 Maybe not mutual. 579 00:27:37,360 --> 00:27:39,080 I was angry. 580 00:27:39,120 --> 00:27:41,080 Very, very angry. 581 00:27:41,120 --> 00:27:43,080 Very angry with him. 582 00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:44,920 And that made me angry with the world, man. 583 00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:48,760 It's taken me to some dark places. 584 00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:52,040 I've done some really stupid things. 585 00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:56,640 And I've hurt some people, you know, people close to me, 586 00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:57,000 And I've hurt some people, you know, people close to me, 587 00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:03,800 but all of that anger and pain 588 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:04,760 but all of that anger and pain 589 00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:07,720 and hurt that I had, 590 00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:12,040 and the resentment that I had against him gave me fire. 591 00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:12,680 and the resentment that I had against him gave me fire. 592 00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:16,920 If I haven't got talent in anything else, 593 00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:20,720 I've always been able to use my pain for good use. 594 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:33,040 Ashley had arranged for us to visit his mum. 595 00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:34,440 She lives in Hackney, 596 00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:38,720 not far from some of the most iconic locations featured in Top Boy. 597 00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:38,840 not far from some of the most iconic locations featured in Top Boy. 598 00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:40,760 And so, en route, I'd asked 599 00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:43,600 if we could take a short detour to see the sights. 600 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:45,480 Yes, chum. Yes, bro. 601 00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:48,160 With the new series just launched, 602 00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:52,160 featuring a controversial and bloody final episode, 603 00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:56,200 it would be a chance to get some in-person audience feedback. 604 00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:01,360 I can't tell you, bro. 605 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:03,440 Within minutes, the verdicts were coming in. 606 00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:07,640 They take it so seriously. 607 00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:10,240 I rate it, though. Appreciate it. 608 00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:12,520 But one thing I didn't like. What? 609 00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:22,440 Yeah, I hear you man. I hear you. 610 00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:30,120 Would I be able to get a quick snap with you, please? 611 00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:31,680 Um, all right, cool. 612 00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:34,400 But because we've stopped... I hear that... 613 00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:37,920 Nice one, brother, bless. No worries, brother. 614 00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:43,760 Nah, nah, I'm filming, bro. 615 00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:50,600 Thank you very much for making me, bro. 616 00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:52,360 Yes, big man. 617 00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:58,240 Just off the market was another well-known Top Boy location 618 00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:00,240 and hang spot for local characters. 619 00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:06,440 Yeah, yeah, I know that. 620 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:10,800 Are you a fan? Did you watch Top Boy? 621 00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:12,440 Yeah, bro, me watch the thing, man, 622 00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:14,800 but me doesn't like the ending of the thing, you know? 623 00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:17,160 You didn't like the ending? No, me don't like the ending. 624 00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:31,240 I couldn't sit by and watch a story 625 00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:34,840 where they succeeded after everything that they've done. 626 00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:37,240 Everyone's got a different opinion. 627 00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:47,200 I hear you. Good point. Point taken. 628 00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:49,720 My name's Jared. Good to meet you, brother. I'm a Rasta man. 629 00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:51,320 Let me say, you know, for the world. 630 00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:53,320 I'm from Montserrat. 631 00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:55,040 Who's taking the picture? Ah, there. 632 00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:57,440 What does that mean? That's the trinity sign. 633 00:30:57,480 --> 00:30:59,720 The trinity?Yes. Rastafari. 634 00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:02,480 It's blessed. Guys, take care. Thank you so much, yeah. 635 00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:03,720 Thank you.Bless man. 636 00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:07,720 Ashley had told me about wanting Top Boy 637 00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:10,320 to honour its real-life counterparts, 638 00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:12,880 and so there was something heartening 639 00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:16,080 about everyone's enthusiasm for the new season. 640 00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:17,440 Have you seen Top Boy? 641 00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:20,200 Yes. I think it's a great show. Have you seen the new...? 642 00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:22,880 He used to be slim. He used to be slim. He's still slim! 643 00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:24,320 What are you talking about? 644 00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:26,520 Thank you very much. Sorry! 645 00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:30,400 You head-butted me as well. You used to be slim. Let me get some... 646 00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:34,760 What a way to just destroy me! 647 00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:36,320 Sorry. You're still slim. 648 00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:38,840 Don't you listen. It's all good, man. 649 00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:40,640 I love my size. 650 00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:49,200 A short walk away was the house belonging to Ashley's mum, Pam. 651 00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:58,080 Hello. She lives with Ashley's stepdad and former manager, Richard. 652 00:31:58,120 --> 00:31:58,600 Hello. She lives with Ashley's stepdad and former manager, Richard. 653 00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:03,120 Is it Richard?Yes. Louis. 654 00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:05,080 Sorry, Richard. Louis. Lovely to meet you. 655 00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:07,400 How are you doing? Can we come in? 656 00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:10,520 Yeah, of course you can, don't be silly. 657 00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:12,640 Little slice of heaven. 658 00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:13,960 The family manor. 659 00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:16,120 Hello. Hi, Pamela.Hiya, hi. 660 00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:19,520 Sorry. Louis. How are you? Your house is beautiful. 661 00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:21,200 Oh, thank you. 662 00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:23,120 Hi, son. 663 00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:27,120 Ashley had grown up Pam's only child. 664 00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:28,840 With his dad not often around 665 00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:33,040 and his mum holding down a full-time job with the council, 666 00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:33,320 and his mum holding down a full-time job with the council, 667 00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:36,920 he'd been enrolled in a weekend drama school. 668 00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:39,000 What have you got there? It's a folder. 669 00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:41,840 This is a folder that I've kept for some time 670 00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:44,560 of bits and bobs of Ashley's work. 671 00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:47,880 What are you hiding in there? Here we go. 672 00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:49,800 Remember that? 673 00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:51,160 Yeah. Oxford Street, yeah. 674 00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:53,640 A play by Levi David Addai. 675 00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:56,440 You stole that off the wall in the theatre. 676 00:32:56,480 --> 00:32:59,160 I mean, this is an odd question, isn't it, 677 00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:00,640 but would you say you're a fan? 678 00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:02,400 I'm his biggest fan. 679 00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:08,000 The only thing I would say, I'd prefer him to do more stage. 680 00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:09,920 The only thing I would say, I'd prefer him to do more stage. 681 00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:11,760 That was a good pivot. 682 00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:14,720 We didn't stay very long on the positive. 683 00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:16,800 Yeah, yeah, I know. 684 00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:18,600 But this has been my life. 685 00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:20,120 Trust me. 686 00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:23,720 I feel what you're trying to say is, you enjoy when I'm on stage, 687 00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:27,080 but I'm also very good in my TV shows and films and stuff? 688 00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:30,560 No, but... You don't want to leave it? 689 00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:32,600 LAUGHTER 690 00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:37,160 Amazing. Amazing. 691 00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:39,240 I like your dynamic. You kind of... 692 00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:42,360 It's sort of like watching conversation tennis. 693 00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:45,920 Yeah, no, this is how I've grown up. 694 00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:50,000 I had to explain everything, being questioned. 695 00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:53,200 "I rebelled against my strict upbringing." 696 00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:55,920 It was strict. Was it? In what way? 697 00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:57,160 It was definitely strict. 698 00:33:57,200 --> 00:34:01,400 Look, most of those things like stage school, like piano, 699 00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:03,200 Look, most of those things like stage school, like piano, 700 00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:05,880 like home tutoring, 701 00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:09,760 I didn't want to do. 702 00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:11,520 LAUGHTER Right. 703 00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:13,440 But I would never sit here and go, 704 00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:15,920 "That was the worst thing she ever did for me", 705 00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:18,520 because it was amazing... Look at all the opportunities. 706 00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:20,600 Look at all the opportunity came from that. 707 00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:22,520 It was about trying to ensure 708 00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:27,120 that his time was properly and meaningfully occupied. 709 00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:27,200 that his time was properly and meaningfully occupied. 710 00:34:27,240 --> 00:34:31,840 We lived in a place where if young people are not fully occupied, 711 00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:33,600 then what are they doing? 712 00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:38,160 They're hanging around and maybe getting themselves into trouble. 713 00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:44,440 It was only when I got to, like, maybe 16, I changed as a kid. 714 00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:48,200 In those years is when I went out and I got in trouble, 715 00:34:48,240 --> 00:34:51,080 it's when I got arrested, it's when I... Do you know what I mean? 716 00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:52,400 I joined So Solid. 717 00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:56,440 I was doing, you know, it's not, like, rebelling against my mum, 718 00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:58,280 but it was rebelling against, like, 719 00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:00,680 all of those things that she'd built up for me 720 00:35:00,720 --> 00:35:02,560 and how safe she kept me and whatever. 721 00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:05,320 Can I ask about... I know from reading your book 722 00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:07,720 and also from looking at the back of your neck 723 00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:11,440 that there was a there was a time when you were attacked as well. 724 00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:12,920 How old were you? 725 00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:16,560 15. 15. Maybe. Yeah, something like that. 726 00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:19,120 And it was just people... It wasn't people you knew, was it? 727 00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:21,360 It was just like a couple of...No. 728 00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:25,680 It was a couple of men who were in their, like, mid-thirties, 729 00:35:25,720 --> 00:35:27,440 It was a couple of men who were in their, like, mid-thirties, 730 00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:29,000 something like that, 731 00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:33,800 Eastern European guys that were just drunk outside the off-licence. 732 00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:36,480 And one of my friends got into an argument, 733 00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:39,840 if I remember correctly, with these guys. 734 00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:44,080 I mean, to be fair, it wasn't even my fight to fight, 735 00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:47,520 but I was carrying a knife. 736 00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:50,040 These are two big men. Right? And we're kids. 737 00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:51,680 We're babies. 738 00:35:51,720 --> 00:35:54,840 So they would have literally took the knife out of my hand, 739 00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:57,960 threw it and started throwing us about, man. 740 00:35:58,000 --> 00:35:59,400 But, yeah, in the end, 741 00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:02,200 they just broke a bottle and just stabbed me in my neck. 742 00:36:02,240 --> 00:36:04,760 But I didn't realise I'd been stabbed. 743 00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:07,120 I just thought I'd been punched. 744 00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:10,160 I didn't realise. It was only when my friends were like, 745 00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:12,080 "Bro, you are bleeding." 746 00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:15,200 And then I was like... Everything just faded to black. 747 00:36:15,240 --> 00:36:17,080 I was gone. 748 00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:19,840 I think that's the first and only time in my life 749 00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:21,240 that I thought, "I'm dead." 750 00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:23,480 I thought I was going to die 751 00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:26,800 because I think it started to get black really slowly. 752 00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:28,640 You know, it's like... 753 00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:31,160 So I thought, "Ah, that's it." 754 00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:34,040 But then I woke up. 755 00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:38,000 Mum was there...crying. 756 00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:43,160 So I actually thought they were going to come in there 757 00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:44,480 and tell me that he had died. 758 00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:46,600 I said to myself, "This only happens on the TV. 759 00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:48,320 "This is not real." 760 00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:50,480 So it was harrowing. 761 00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:53,600 I'll never forget that day. 762 00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:54,680 Erm... 763 00:36:56,080 --> 00:37:00,240 It still sends shudders down my spine now thinking about it. 764 00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:01,080 It still sends shudders down my spine now thinking about it. 765 00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:03,840 We don't talk about... We've not really talked about this 766 00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:05,360 because I've not really... 767 00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:08,680 Hearing it from your perspective just sheds a new light on it for me. 768 00:37:08,720 --> 00:37:12,800 I've just never heard you express that emotion. 769 00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:19,080 I think you narrowly escaped death. 770 00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:22,440 Yeah, I did. I did. I did. 771 00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:25,720 Yeah. 772 00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:29,000 It would be, erm, disrespectful 773 00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:31,720 if I didn't make the most of my life, to be fair. 774 00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:53,400 Ash! Yo. Good on Hannah. 775 00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:54,960 All right, let's shoot. 776 00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:57,000 All right. Lovely. Thank you. 777 00:37:57,040 --> 00:38:00,200 Excited, energy, guys. 778 00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:03,760 In West London, Ashley was shooting a scene 779 00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:08,040 on the Disney+ historical drama A Thousand Blows. 780 00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:08,200 on the Disney+ historical drama A Thousand Blows. 781 00:38:08,240 --> 00:38:10,720 Here he is. Are we staying out of your way? 782 00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:13,840 I want to see you in work mode. How are you doing? You all right? 783 00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:15,920 Yeah. All good, man. Thanks for coming in. 784 00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:20,000 This is a very big operation.It is a bloody big operation! It's major. 785 00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:21,320 Yeah. Yeah, that frame's good. 786 00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:23,800 Well, let's do those two shots. 787 00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:27,600 Looking on at Ashley, 788 00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:31,800 immersed in the pressures of his first big budget directing gig, 789 00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:33,920 I had a moment to reflect on him, 790 00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:35,960 the long journey he's been on, 791 00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:39,520 his challenges and coming back and imbuing his work 792 00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:42,600 with everything he's learned along the way. 793 00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:49,080 Hey! All right, Stephen. Louis.Hi. 794 00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:51,280 Yeah. I've met you, but it was very brief. Yeah, yeah. 795 00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:52,960 Nice to meet you. 796 00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:56,000 Among the actors are two of the show's executive producers, 797 00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:59,040 Ashley's friends, Hannah Walters and Stephen Graham. 798 00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:01,560 How is it that you connected with Ashley on this? 799 00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:04,480 And what was it about Ashley that you thought would work? 800 00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:07,160 Obviously, when we offered him the role, 801 00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:10,560 to watch his - like I just said then - his dedication, 802 00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:11,840 his preparation, 803 00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:16,680 the amount of work he puts in off set is phenomenal. 804 00:39:16,720 --> 00:39:18,200 Do you know what I mean? 805 00:39:18,240 --> 00:39:20,880 And I think that's, knowing Ashley the way I do, I think 806 00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:22,880 that was his own little thing to prove to himself 807 00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:24,800 and to prove to other people when he got on set 808 00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:26,160 that he knew what he was doing. 809 00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:28,440 I'm not just saying it's because we're working class, 810 00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:30,720 but it's that kind of impostor syndrome that I think 811 00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:34,200 many of us have in this industry. Do you know what I mean? 100%, yeah. 812 00:39:34,240 --> 00:39:37,120 And we'll cut there. Thank you very much. 813 00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:39,320 One more, one more. Do one more. One more for luck. 814 00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:01,880 I'll tell you what I wanted to ask about. 815 00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:06,200 I was reading a profile of you from 2001 in The Guardian. 816 00:40:06,240 --> 00:40:07,080 I was reading a profile of you from 2001 in The Guardian. 817 00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:09,480 Mm. The Guardian newspaper. 818 00:40:09,520 --> 00:40:11,160 "I just want to be safe. 819 00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:12,920 "Not mad rich. 820 00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:16,280 "Just to be safe is good, man." 821 00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:19,360 I just thought there was something touching 822 00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:22,960 and kind of interesting about having the ambition of being safe. 823 00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:26,800 Right?Mm. It's quite a low bar, in one sense. 824 00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:30,440 Yeah? You know, it's something I certainly take for granted. 825 00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:32,400 Do you feel pretty safe now? 826 00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:34,040 I feel safe enough. 827 00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:38,120 I think, I think my energy now is more about like... 828 00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:40,320 ..trusting people. 829 00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:42,560 They're not going to be kicking off the door 830 00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:45,120 pointing guns at me any more. Those days are done. 831 00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:47,880 What I fear is people being manipulative. 832 00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:51,760 What I fear is people being around me for the wrong reasons. 833 00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:53,400 Do you know what I mean? 834 00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:55,680 This is why I've created a world for myself 835 00:40:55,720 --> 00:40:58,840 that I very rarely have to step out of, 836 00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:02,160 and I very rarely let other people into. 837 00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:05,640 How healthy that is, I don't know. 838 00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:08,480 You keep the world at a distance a little bit. 839 00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:10,800 Yeah. Try to. Not now. Look at you lot. 840 00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:12,520 Yeah.You know what I mean? 841 00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:14,640 It's come and found you.Mm. 842 00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:17,080 That's the perils of success. 843 00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:18,640 I guess so. I guess so. 844 00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:21,280 The world beats a path to your door. 845 00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:23,840 And what makes you think it might not be healthy? 846 00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:25,760 Because, I mean, being the way that I am 847 00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:27,520 means that there's no new people 848 00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:29,680 that really get to come into the circle. 849 00:41:29,720 --> 00:41:33,800 And there's some people that would be really cool to be around 850 00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:36,640 and, you know... HE LAUGHS 851 00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:42,120 Yeah, like, am I missing out on good things? 852 00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:47,200 How is your mental health, would you say? 853 00:41:47,240 --> 00:41:50,120 Does it feel to you like you're in a good spot, 854 00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:52,280 in a good place, more or less? 855 00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:55,680 I keep an eye on it every day, Louis. Do you? 856 00:41:55,720 --> 00:41:57,560 Like, I-I have a... 857 00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:01,120 ..I have a messy head. 858 00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:05,400 And that takes daily maintenance. 859 00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:08,000 And that takes daily maintenance. 860 00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:11,160 That takes meditation. 861 00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:14,840 That takes prayer. Really? That takes connection. 862 00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:18,840 Like, that's what keeps me afloat. 863 00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:23,120 When you say you've got a messy head, can you be more specific? 864 00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:25,400 That's how I wake up in the morning. 865 00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:28,520 Negativity? Wayward impulses? Self-sabotage? 866 00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:31,120 Maybe all of the above, if I'm honest sometimes. 867 00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:32,840 Yeah. 868 00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:35,040 And that's still on a daily basis? 869 00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:39,200 That'll be every day for the rest of my life. 870 00:42:40,240 --> 00:42:42,040 That'll be every day. 871 00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:53,920 CHILDREN LAUGH 872 00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:55,920 Is that normal? 873 00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:01,760 How old is Max?Max is two! He seems very affectionate. 874 00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:04,320 Not much use as a guard dog.Mm. 875 00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:06,680 I've successfully put him in a trance. 876 00:43:06,720 --> 00:43:08,080 So embarrassing. 877 00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:11,360 They say you can judge a lot about an owner from his dog. 878 00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:13,080 Very trusting. 879 00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:15,200 He is very trusting. 880 00:43:15,240 --> 00:43:17,080 He's too trusting. 881 00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:18,960 HE LAUGHS