1 00:00:06,924 --> 00:00:08,134 [marching band plays distantly] 2 00:00:08,176 --> 00:00:09,677 [elevator dings] - Okay, now remember, 3 00:00:09,719 --> 00:00:12,388 we're only stopping for 30 minutes. 4 00:00:12,430 --> 00:00:14,724 I mean, of all the things to do in New York, 5 00:00:14,766 --> 00:00:17,894 you want to watch the Thanksgiving Day Parade? 6 00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:19,312 It's so basic. 7 00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:21,355 Wh-why don't we just get enslaved horses 8 00:00:21,397 --> 00:00:23,232 to pull us through Central Park? 9 00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:26,152 Now, my staff is a bit tedious, 10 00:00:26,194 --> 00:00:28,696 so we'll pop in for the parade, and then we'll be on our way. 11 00:00:28,738 --> 00:00:32,325 And that is when the real fun begins. 12 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:37,121 I've prepared an itinerary of intellectual delights. 13 00:00:38,456 --> 00:00:40,249 Ugh, I cannot believe your mother bought you 14 00:00:40,291 --> 00:00:41,584 that thing. - Mom's cool. 15 00:00:41,626 --> 00:00:44,170 - But it completely blocks out your surroundings. 16 00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:45,630 Although, I understand the appeal 17 00:00:45,671 --> 00:00:48,091 since your surroundings are usually Phoenix. 18 00:00:48,132 --> 00:00:49,926 - I wish I was in Phoenix. 19 00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:51,928 - Look, Thanksgiving is the one time of the year 20 00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:54,389 that I get to see you. 21 00:00:54,430 --> 00:00:56,557 - You only wanted me here 'cause your girlfriend's 22 00:00:56,599 --> 00:00:59,602 in Montreal getting railed by that found metal sculptor. 23 00:00:59,644 --> 00:01:03,231 - Okay, LaRue is the third in our throuple. 24 00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:05,775 I enjoy that he gives her pleasure. 25 00:01:05,817 --> 00:01:07,652 It's called compersion. 26 00:01:07,693 --> 00:01:09,112 And it'd be nice if you could have 27 00:01:09,153 --> 00:01:11,280 a little compersion for me. 28 00:01:11,322 --> 00:01:13,491 [scoffs] Jealous of LaRue. 29 00:01:13,533 --> 00:01:16,536 [laughs] The poor oaf doesn't even own a Kindle. 30 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:19,747 And apparently, his penis is extremely bulky. 31 00:01:19,789 --> 00:01:21,416 [controller clicks, video game gun fires] 32 00:01:21,457 --> 00:01:24,627 [upbeat music] 33 00:01:24,669 --> 00:01:26,295 * * 34 00:01:26,337 --> 00:01:28,131 [crowd clamors, drums beat] 35 00:01:28,172 --> 00:01:31,050 - Okay, the next float's a giant turkey. 36 00:01:31,092 --> 00:01:32,468 - Uh-huh. - There's a woman waving 37 00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:34,345 on the back. It's that Irish girl 38 00:01:34,387 --> 00:01:35,930 who plays Joan Rivers, I think. 39 00:01:35,972 --> 00:01:37,765 - Oh! - Oh, no. 40 00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:38,975 It's Christine Baranski! 41 00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:40,643 - Ooh! How's her coat? 42 00:01:40,685 --> 00:01:42,645 - She looks like she is keeping warm. 43 00:01:42,687 --> 00:01:43,646 - Oh, good. 44 00:01:43,688 --> 00:01:45,148 - Gi-give a shout when you see 45 00:01:45,189 --> 00:01:47,775 the Panic in Needle Park float. 46 00:01:47,817 --> 00:01:49,277 - I don't think there's gonna be one of those. 47 00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:51,404 - Fuckin' A. 48 00:01:51,446 --> 00:01:53,531 - Uh, Barb, Snoopy's coming. 49 00:01:56,951 --> 00:01:59,036 - [gasps] Oh, wow! 50 00:01:59,078 --> 00:02:00,997 And there's Santa! 51 00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:03,541 Hi, Santa! 52 00:02:03,583 --> 00:02:05,585 I guess that means it's over. [door opens] 53 00:02:06,878 --> 00:02:08,379 Lauren, hi. 54 00:02:08,421 --> 00:02:10,506 We weren't sure you were coming. 55 00:02:10,548 --> 00:02:11,799 Is this-- - Yes. 56 00:02:11,841 --> 00:02:13,009 Do-doo-da-loo! 57 00:02:13,051 --> 00:02:14,886 My son, Ginsberg. 58 00:02:14,927 --> 00:02:16,471 - Why are we in a bathroom? 59 00:02:16,512 --> 00:02:20,266 - It's the only view of the parade from the office. 60 00:02:20,308 --> 00:02:22,894 Oswald would have had a field day up here. 61 00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:25,313 - So wonderful to meet you, Ginsberg. 62 00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:26,731 We've heard so much about you. 63 00:02:26,773 --> 00:02:28,900 - Really? 64 00:02:28,941 --> 00:02:30,860 - Um-- - They just started deflating 65 00:02:30,902 --> 00:02:32,945 the Woodstock balloon. 66 00:02:32,987 --> 00:02:34,697 - Well, I'll watch that. 67 00:02:34,739 --> 00:02:36,074 - [laughs] 68 00:02:36,115 --> 00:02:39,035 How could deflating balloons possibly be of interest? 69 00:02:39,077 --> 00:02:41,871 - I relate to getting the life sucked out of me. 70 00:02:41,913 --> 00:02:43,956 - Fine, but don't dawdle. 71 00:02:43,998 --> 00:02:46,209 We're already late for our walk at the Cloisters 72 00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:48,044 with Soon-Yi Previn. 73 00:02:48,086 --> 00:02:49,796 Hasn't she been through enough? 74 00:02:52,006 --> 00:02:55,635 - Is Ginsberg named after Allen or Ruth Bader? 75 00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:58,888 - Well, we want him to decide when he turns 21. 76 00:02:58,930 --> 00:03:00,515 - That's fun. 77 00:03:00,556 --> 00:03:02,934 - This will be a formative trip. 78 00:03:02,975 --> 00:03:04,894 13 is that crucial age 79 00:03:04,936 --> 00:03:07,647 when a boy finally begins crafting his identity. 80 00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,774 - Hm. - I need to get to work. 81 00:03:09,816 --> 00:03:12,110 In Phoenix, the cultural highlight of the year 82 00:03:12,151 --> 00:03:13,903 is Cinco de Mayo at Hooters. 83 00:03:13,945 --> 00:03:16,280 - I always try to give my daughter space 84 00:03:16,322 --> 00:03:17,657 to follow her own path. 85 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,992 - He'll certainly be carving his own path. 86 00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:23,496 Carving it right into his papa's footsteps. 87 00:03:23,538 --> 00:03:26,749 [jazz music playing] 88 00:03:26,791 --> 00:03:29,293 - Do you want to try some mulled wine, Fabian? 89 00:03:29,335 --> 00:03:31,003 - I refuse to celebrate a holiday rooted 90 00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:33,005 in First People's pain. 91 00:03:33,047 --> 00:03:34,173 - Then why are you here? 92 00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:35,967 - For me, it's a regular work day. 93 00:03:36,008 --> 00:03:38,010 - Yeah, it's a work day for me too. 94 00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:39,429 I'm working on getting drunk. 95 00:03:39,470 --> 00:03:41,764 [chuckles] 96 00:03:41,806 --> 00:03:42,974 You didn't want to see your family? 97 00:03:43,015 --> 00:03:44,934 - I won't throw away my principles 98 00:03:44,976 --> 00:03:47,353 for a few rounds of singing charades. 99 00:03:47,395 --> 00:03:48,771 Where's your family? 100 00:03:48,813 --> 00:03:50,189 - The girls are with their mom. 101 00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:51,816 They'll be with me for Christmas. 102 00:03:54,235 --> 00:03:55,278 - [sighs] 103 00:03:55,319 --> 00:03:56,863 - We're just about to leave. 104 00:03:56,904 --> 00:04:00,199 Oh, I've got some great gossip about Fran Lebowitz's tailor. 105 00:04:00,241 --> 00:04:03,953 Hint, hint, he goes by the name of J.Crew Outlet. 106 00:04:03,995 --> 00:04:05,621 [laughs] 107 00:04:05,663 --> 00:04:08,332 - Okay, I'm off to my daughter's. 108 00:04:08,374 --> 00:04:10,334 We'll be pigging out on pumpkin bread 109 00:04:10,376 --> 00:04:12,462 and bingeing "The Crown" all day. 110 00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:14,005 That queen... 111 00:04:14,047 --> 00:04:16,507 her staff really respects her, don't they? 112 00:04:16,549 --> 00:04:17,842 - Nobody leave yet. 113 00:04:17,884 --> 00:04:19,719 The wine's almost done mulling. 114 00:04:19,761 --> 00:04:22,555 - Oh, I'll wait for one mug. 115 00:04:22,597 --> 00:04:25,558 And what do the Caspian men have planned? 116 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:28,936 - Well, the pièce de résistance is a sushi dinner 117 00:04:28,978 --> 00:04:31,314 with "The New Yorker's" assistant copy editor 118 00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:32,774 and his circle of wits. 119 00:04:32,815 --> 00:04:35,234 A true Thinks-giving, if you will. 120 00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:36,903 - That sounds horrible. 121 00:04:39,781 --> 00:04:42,325 - That guy Sandy said he needed to take a whore's bath. 122 00:04:42,366 --> 00:04:43,659 - Oh, Ginsberg. 123 00:04:43,701 --> 00:04:46,370 The correct term is "sex worker's bath." 124 00:04:46,412 --> 00:04:49,040 - Uh, i-it's called a whore's bath 125 00:04:49,082 --> 00:04:50,500 or a Portuguese shower, 126 00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:52,835 and that's it. 127 00:04:54,712 --> 00:04:56,172 - Maybe this will remind everyone 128 00:04:56,214 --> 00:04:59,092 of the blood this holiday has on its hands. 129 00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:02,720 [microwave beeps] 130 00:05:02,762 --> 00:05:04,389 [gasps] 131 00:05:08,059 --> 00:05:09,560 Mmm. 132 00:05:14,107 --> 00:05:15,274 - No. 133 00:05:15,316 --> 00:05:18,444 Of course I'll be okay. 134 00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:20,696 I love you. 135 00:05:20,738 --> 00:05:22,698 Hm. That was my daughter. 136 00:05:22,740 --> 00:05:25,118 She's volunteering to spend Thanksgiving 137 00:05:25,159 --> 00:05:26,828 with a lonely older woman. 138 00:05:26,869 --> 00:05:29,205 I guess we got our wires crossed. 139 00:05:29,247 --> 00:05:30,873 I thought she meant me. 140 00:05:30,915 --> 00:05:33,501 - Hm. Well, in the words of Vonnegut, 141 00:05:33,543 --> 00:05:34,711 "So it goes." 142 00:05:34,752 --> 00:05:37,714 Now, Ginsberg, we must be going. 143 00:05:37,755 --> 00:05:38,965 - Do you wanna play? 144 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:39,966 - Ginsberg? 145 00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:41,175 - Oh. 146 00:05:41,217 --> 00:05:43,052 Um, sure. 147 00:05:43,094 --> 00:05:44,512 Thank you, Ginsberg. 148 00:05:44,554 --> 00:05:45,722 - Only my dad calls me that. 149 00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:47,140 You can call me Eric. 150 00:05:50,435 --> 00:05:52,603 - [gasps] Oh, my goodness. 151 00:05:52,645 --> 00:05:54,230 Is this Fallujah? 152 00:05:54,272 --> 00:05:55,732 It looks so different. 153 00:05:55,773 --> 00:05:56,941 - You've been to Fallujah? 154 00:05:56,983 --> 00:05:58,234 - A lifetime ago-- 155 00:05:58,276 --> 00:05:59,652 [gasps] Look at that. 156 00:05:59,694 --> 00:06:02,989 I used to spend every Sunday morning at that café. 157 00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,407 Wait, who are you? 158 00:06:04,449 --> 00:06:05,825 Oh, no, you don't, mister. 159 00:06:05,867 --> 00:06:07,368 - [chuckles] - [gasps] 160 00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:09,787 Eric, I sniped him! 161 00:06:09,829 --> 00:06:11,372 - Sick. 162 00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:12,749 - Hm. 163 00:06:16,002 --> 00:06:17,086 - Mmm. 164 00:06:17,128 --> 00:06:18,629 Getting there. 165 00:06:21,424 --> 00:06:23,926 They opened the door? 166 00:06:23,968 --> 00:06:26,971 These rats are getting smart as hell. 167 00:06:27,013 --> 00:06:29,932 To you, rats. Happy Turkey Day. 168 00:06:31,893 --> 00:06:33,978 - I-if you--if you click left, you can pick your guns. 169 00:06:34,020 --> 00:06:35,396 - Oh. 170 00:06:35,438 --> 00:06:37,106 - [grunts] 171 00:06:37,148 --> 00:06:39,317 Hey, Ginsberg, look. 172 00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:41,194 [chuckles] Two dads. 173 00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:42,904 [laughing] 174 00:06:42,945 --> 00:06:45,573 Do I look like Lauren Caspian? 175 00:06:45,615 --> 00:06:46,866 - Sure. 176 00:06:46,908 --> 00:06:48,785 - Oh, I thought you might have 177 00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:52,163 a slightly two-dimensional idea of me. 178 00:06:53,498 --> 00:06:56,459 Sorry, did that fall flat? 179 00:06:56,501 --> 00:06:58,336 - You've got a great kid here, Lauren. 180 00:06:58,378 --> 00:07:01,130 - Barb, respectfully, the day we need your approval 181 00:07:01,172 --> 00:07:02,924 will be the day we murder-suicide. 182 00:07:02,965 --> 00:07:03,716 No offense. 183 00:07:03,758 --> 00:07:05,510 - None taken. 184 00:07:09,555 --> 00:07:10,890 - [quietly] Unbelievable. 185 00:07:12,392 --> 00:07:13,601 Barb... [scoffs] 186 00:07:13,643 --> 00:07:15,853 Trying to steal my son? 187 00:07:15,895 --> 00:07:17,855 Send her back to Phoenix. 188 00:07:17,897 --> 00:07:20,233 - Wine's almost ready. [elevator dings] 189 00:07:20,274 --> 00:07:21,943 - Oh. 190 00:07:21,984 --> 00:07:23,194 - What's up, turkeys? 191 00:07:23,236 --> 00:07:25,446 - Chase. You look so elegant. 192 00:07:25,488 --> 00:07:26,906 - Oh, thanks. 193 00:07:26,948 --> 00:07:29,200 My parents always have a black-tie Thanksgiving brunch 194 00:07:29,242 --> 00:07:30,952 at the Princeton Club so they can go home 195 00:07:30,993 --> 00:07:33,579 and get quietly drizz-unk by themselves. 196 00:07:33,621 --> 00:07:34,705 - Oh, dear. 197 00:07:34,747 --> 00:07:35,706 - Yeah. 198 00:07:35,748 --> 00:07:37,291 I'm actually kind of sad. 199 00:07:37,333 --> 00:07:38,710 LOL. 200 00:07:38,751 --> 00:07:41,087 But there was an oily fish appetizer 201 00:07:41,129 --> 00:07:42,547 that I thought Sandy would be into, 202 00:07:42,588 --> 00:07:43,881 so I brought it in a CVS bag, 203 00:07:43,923 --> 00:07:45,091 just like he likes it. 204 00:07:45,133 --> 00:07:47,552 - Mmm. - Oh, shit, whose kid is this? 205 00:07:47,593 --> 00:07:49,595 - I'd rather not say. 206 00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:51,931 - Uh, Lauren's son, Eric, is letting me bore him 207 00:07:51,973 --> 00:07:53,599 with my old war stories. 208 00:07:53,641 --> 00:07:54,809 - They're not boring. 209 00:07:54,851 --> 00:07:56,060 I think they're kind of-- - Barb. 210 00:07:56,102 --> 00:07:58,813 I need to talk to you about a work thing. 211 00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:02,483 Find me an interview guest. 212 00:08:02,525 --> 00:08:03,735 - You got it. For when? 213 00:08:03,776 --> 00:08:05,611 - Today. Ginsberg is obviously 214 00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:06,904 bored out of his mind here. 215 00:08:06,946 --> 00:08:09,449 - But...it's Thanksgiving. 216 00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:11,367 - So? Get a guest who's not American. 217 00:08:11,409 --> 00:08:13,453 Get--I don't know, Volodymyr Zelenskyy. 218 00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:15,329 He seems fun. - I don't think we can make 219 00:08:15,371 --> 00:08:18,082 a day-of request to the president of Ukraine. 220 00:08:18,124 --> 00:08:19,250 - Well, then get me Putin. 221 00:08:19,292 --> 00:08:21,210 I don't care, just find me a guest. 222 00:08:21,252 --> 00:08:24,422 I want Ginsberg to see me in my element. 223 00:08:24,464 --> 00:08:26,549 - Uh--I'll do what I can. 224 00:08:28,551 --> 00:08:30,053 - Oy gevalt. 225 00:08:30,094 --> 00:08:31,971 Sorry to strand you with Barb. 226 00:08:32,013 --> 00:08:33,765 I should've rescued you earlier. 227 00:08:33,806 --> 00:08:36,017 - She's interesting and nice. 228 00:08:36,059 --> 00:08:38,102 - Mm, interestingly boring. 229 00:08:38,144 --> 00:08:40,605 And nice at s--being not, uh-- 230 00:08:40,646 --> 00:08:42,190 being tedious. 231 00:08:42,231 --> 00:08:44,525 - She was a war journalist. 232 00:08:44,567 --> 00:08:45,860 - Was. [chuckles] 233 00:08:45,902 --> 00:08:47,528 - [groans softly] 234 00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:49,072 - Ba-ba-bap! - Hey! 235 00:08:49,113 --> 00:08:52,200 - I'm sorry, Ginsberg, but I cannot stand idly by 236 00:08:52,241 --> 00:08:54,786 while you lobotomize yourself with the nearest widow. 237 00:08:54,827 --> 00:08:55,787 You'll thank me later. 238 00:08:55,828 --> 00:08:56,829 - Are you serious? 239 00:08:56,871 --> 00:08:58,623 - Very. But fear not. 240 00:08:58,664 --> 00:09:03,002 I'm going to introduce you to myVR experience. 241 00:09:05,213 --> 00:09:06,005 - What? 242 00:09:06,047 --> 00:09:08,633 - Vigorous repartee. 243 00:09:08,674 --> 00:09:11,177 [whistling] 244 00:09:12,178 --> 00:09:14,889 - We know you're boycotting non-Indigenous holidays, 245 00:09:14,931 --> 00:09:18,059 but home's just not the same without you, Ashley. 246 00:09:18,101 --> 00:09:20,853 We saved the turkey skin, but there's no one here to eat it. 247 00:09:20,895 --> 00:09:22,647 - I wouldn't eat it anyway. 248 00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:24,357 - That's right, I'm sorry. 249 00:09:24,399 --> 00:09:27,402 You sent us that disturbing article about factory farming. 250 00:09:27,443 --> 00:09:28,403 Mom read it too. 251 00:09:28,444 --> 00:09:29,529 - She did? 252 00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:31,030 - Of course, honey. 253 00:09:31,072 --> 00:09:34,450 We read all the articles you send. 254 00:09:34,492 --> 00:09:36,202 - I miss you guys. 255 00:09:36,244 --> 00:09:38,913 - Oh, my gosh, we miss you like a limb, honey. 256 00:09:38,955 --> 00:09:40,790 Tell her, Codi. - Hi, Ashley! 257 00:09:40,832 --> 00:09:43,084 - Hi, Boo Boo. 258 00:09:43,126 --> 00:09:46,129 I heard your 4-H presentation kicked butt. 259 00:09:47,672 --> 00:09:52,510 - Um, this is actually where I do qigong and pass gas. 260 00:09:52,552 --> 00:09:54,303 - Sorry, I--I got to get back to work. 261 00:09:54,345 --> 00:09:55,513 Bye, guys. 262 00:09:55,555 --> 00:09:56,514 [quietly] Love you. 263 00:09:57,807 --> 00:10:01,185 - [grunting] 264 00:10:01,227 --> 00:10:04,897 [radio jingle plays] 265 00:10:04,939 --> 00:10:08,317 - You might know him as the brilliant Dr. Gregory House 266 00:10:08,359 --> 00:10:10,361 on the show that would eventually inspire 267 00:10:10,403 --> 00:10:13,030 the American version of "The Office." 268 00:10:13,072 --> 00:10:16,033 Hugh Laurie, welcome to "In the Know." 269 00:10:16,075 --> 00:10:17,577 - Thank you, Lauren. It's a--it's a great-- 270 00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:19,162 it's a great pleasure to be here. 271 00:10:19,203 --> 00:10:20,830 - Hugh, my producer, Barb, claims 272 00:10:20,872 --> 00:10:22,707 that she was able to book you on such short notice 273 00:10:22,749 --> 00:10:26,461 because you and her are, and I quote, "old friends." 274 00:10:26,502 --> 00:10:29,589 Can you call her out now for the liar that she is? 275 00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:32,425 - No, I can't-- I can't do that exactly. 276 00:10:32,467 --> 00:10:35,094 Lauren, I would say Barb and I are-- 277 00:10:35,136 --> 00:10:39,265 yeah, we--we, um--we-- we go a long way back. 278 00:10:39,307 --> 00:10:41,517 And if I'm blushing... [chuckles] 279 00:10:41,559 --> 00:10:42,727 Well, perhaps she is too. 280 00:10:42,769 --> 00:10:44,353 - [chuckles] 281 00:10:44,395 --> 00:10:45,313 - Gross. 282 00:10:45,354 --> 00:10:46,647 What do you think it means 283 00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:49,734 for England to finally have a male king? 284 00:10:49,776 --> 00:10:51,527 - [laughs drily] Uh-- 285 00:10:51,569 --> 00:10:54,489 - Is there sort of a sense that "Daddy's home"? 286 00:10:54,530 --> 00:10:56,324 - It-it's not "Daddy's home" for me. 287 00:10:56,365 --> 00:10:59,577 Um, it's "a bloke's home." 288 00:10:59,619 --> 00:11:00,870 A bloke's come home. 289 00:11:00,912 --> 00:11:03,372 - Right, a bloke has wandered into our house, 290 00:11:03,414 --> 00:11:05,708 and we don't know if he's a crazed drifter 291 00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:08,378 or whether he's one of our mother's many boyfriends. 292 00:11:08,419 --> 00:11:09,837 - Right. That would-- 293 00:11:09,879 --> 00:11:11,547 yeah, that would be closer, I think. 294 00:11:11,589 --> 00:11:14,300 - Speaking of daddies, when I was young, 295 00:11:14,342 --> 00:11:17,220 my father would ask me to stay in my room and play solitaire 296 00:11:17,261 --> 00:11:19,430 whenever he'd invite over a, quote, "adult friend," 297 00:11:19,472 --> 00:11:22,308 which was his thinly-veiled nickname for prostitutes. 298 00:11:22,350 --> 00:11:24,435 To this day, I still find myself 299 00:11:24,477 --> 00:11:26,437 sexually aroused by a deck of cards. 300 00:11:26,479 --> 00:11:29,023 What was your relationship with your father like? 301 00:11:29,065 --> 00:11:31,150 - Not like that. 302 00:11:31,192 --> 00:11:34,237 [conversation continues indistinctly] 303 00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:37,115 - How long do these last? 304 00:11:37,156 --> 00:11:39,075 - In clock time or emotionally? 305 00:11:39,117 --> 00:11:42,203 - Mm, I don't know. 306 00:11:42,245 --> 00:11:44,580 - I feel much older after each one. 307 00:11:44,622 --> 00:11:45,456 - Let's talk music. 308 00:11:45,498 --> 00:11:48,126 You play both blues and jazz. 309 00:11:48,167 --> 00:11:51,003 What is it about white music you don't like? 310 00:11:51,045 --> 00:11:55,633 - [chuckles] I-- 311 00:11:55,675 --> 00:11:57,635 it's--obviously, it's not true to say 312 00:11:57,677 --> 00:11:59,429 I don't like white music. 313 00:11:59,470 --> 00:12:01,139 Obviously, you know-- - Let me cut you off, 314 00:12:01,180 --> 00:12:02,974 wh-which I like to do sometimes. 315 00:12:03,015 --> 00:12:04,642 Many scholars believe 316 00:12:04,684 --> 00:12:06,561 that Shakespeare was not a single person. 317 00:12:06,602 --> 00:12:09,647 You yourself have asserted that the work was created by, 318 00:12:09,689 --> 00:12:12,817 and I quote, "a writer's room full of Jews, 319 00:12:12,859 --> 00:12:16,237 a veritable Elizabethan Sid Caesars." 320 00:12:16,279 --> 00:12:17,405 Can you elaborate? 321 00:12:17,447 --> 00:12:19,866 - No, Lauren, I never said that 322 00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:22,410 or anything close to it. 323 00:12:22,452 --> 00:12:23,870 - [sighs] 324 00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:25,997 - Wanna have some fun? 325 00:12:26,038 --> 00:12:27,665 - Yeah. 326 00:12:27,707 --> 00:12:29,167 [static crackles] 327 00:12:30,585 --> 00:12:31,919 [chuckles] 328 00:12:31,961 --> 00:12:33,463 - You, um--you-- you Brits are famous 329 00:12:33,504 --> 00:12:34,756 for repressing your emotions, whereas-- 330 00:12:34,797 --> 00:12:35,715 [static crackles] 331 00:12:37,133 --> 00:12:40,219 Sorry, um, are we having technical problems? 332 00:12:40,261 --> 00:12:42,013 - [snickers] 333 00:12:42,055 --> 00:12:43,389 - Okay, speed round. 334 00:12:43,431 --> 00:12:45,099 Short answer questions. Here we go. 335 00:12:45,141 --> 00:12:47,060 Coffee or tea? 336 00:12:47,101 --> 00:12:48,102 - Coffee. 337 00:12:48,144 --> 00:12:49,687 - Bert or Ernie? 338 00:12:49,729 --> 00:12:50,813 - Who? 339 00:12:50,855 --> 00:12:52,065 - Hugh, what should we-- [static crackles] 340 00:12:52,106 --> 00:12:53,357 What sh-- [static crackles] 341 00:12:53,399 --> 00:12:54,817 Carl, are you hearing that? 342 00:12:54,859 --> 00:12:55,818 - [snickering] - Sorry. 343 00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:56,819 We got invading frequencies 344 00:12:56,861 --> 00:12:57,779 from a neighborhood station. 345 00:12:57,820 --> 00:12:59,363 All good now. 346 00:12:59,405 --> 00:13:02,992 - Hugh, what should we do about Meghan Markle? 347 00:13:03,034 --> 00:13:06,704 - I--I--I don't know that any action is required. 348 00:13:06,746 --> 00:13:09,415 - Going green or going shopping? 349 00:13:12,168 --> 00:13:13,169 - [sighs] 350 00:13:13,211 --> 00:13:14,295 - Doing the work 351 00:13:14,337 --> 00:13:16,422 or doing the damn thang? 352 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:19,967 - Going green. 353 00:13:20,009 --> 00:13:21,260 - "Sex and the City" 354 00:13:21,302 --> 00:13:22,553 or "Sex and the--" [static crackles] 355 00:13:22,595 --> 00:13:23,596 "Sex--" [airhorn blasts] 356 00:13:23,638 --> 00:13:24,680 - This ain't your daddy's station. 357 00:13:24,722 --> 00:13:26,933 You're listening to 103.9 The Hawk. 358 00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:28,226 [bell dings] Awooo! 359 00:13:28,267 --> 00:13:29,560 - Carl. Carl, are you hearing it? 360 00:13:29,602 --> 00:13:31,646 It's really--it's overwhelming. 361 00:13:31,687 --> 00:13:33,773 - Mm, it's not coming through on the tape, 362 00:13:33,815 --> 00:13:36,025 so we're all good. 363 00:13:36,067 --> 00:13:37,485 - Okay. 364 00:13:37,527 --> 00:13:38,986 Hugh. 365 00:13:39,028 --> 00:13:39,987 Hugh. 366 00:13:40,029 --> 00:13:42,073 - Yeah? 367 00:13:42,115 --> 00:13:43,449 - Hugh. 368 00:13:43,491 --> 00:13:44,867 It's been-- - Lauren. 369 00:13:44,909 --> 00:13:46,244 - Okay, but I need to get-- 370 00:13:46,285 --> 00:13:47,829 I was--I was about to do my outro. 371 00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:49,956 If we could get that clean, that would be wonderful. 372 00:13:49,997 --> 00:13:51,666 - Okay. - Hugh. 373 00:13:53,167 --> 00:13:54,836 But don't--don't ice me. 374 00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:57,130 If I'm saying your name, you can respond to that. 375 00:13:57,171 --> 00:13:58,548 Hugh. 376 00:13:58,589 --> 00:13:59,757 - Lauren. - We're-- 377 00:13:59,799 --> 00:14:02,510 [huffs] Okay. 378 00:14:02,552 --> 00:14:05,263 It's very, very important that I get the outro clean. 379 00:14:05,304 --> 00:14:07,515 I just wan to be clear about that. 380 00:14:07,557 --> 00:14:09,559 Hugh. 381 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,018 - Lauren. - Thank you--no. 382 00:14:11,060 --> 00:14:12,270 Damn it. 383 00:14:12,311 --> 00:14:13,646 - [laughing] 384 00:14:13,688 --> 00:14:15,440 - Damn it. 385 00:14:15,481 --> 00:14:17,066 Hugh, I value your time. 386 00:14:17,108 --> 00:14:19,068 Do you value my time? 387 00:14:19,110 --> 00:14:20,361 - I certainly do, yes. - Okay. 388 00:14:20,403 --> 00:14:22,697 Then please, we just need to get it clean. 389 00:14:22,739 --> 00:14:25,199 Make sure you respond, but just not when I'm doing my outro. 390 00:14:25,241 --> 00:14:26,200 Okay? - Okay, okay. 391 00:14:26,242 --> 00:14:27,994 - Okay. Hugh. - Lauren. 392 00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:30,163 - Thank you so much... 393 00:14:33,082 --> 00:14:35,209 For being on the show. 394 00:14:35,251 --> 00:14:37,336 We appreciate... 395 00:14:40,298 --> 00:14:41,299 Well, are you gonna respond? 396 00:14:41,340 --> 00:14:42,425 I don't understand. - Oh. 397 00:14:42,467 --> 00:14:44,594 I, too, appreciate the opportunity 398 00:14:44,635 --> 00:14:46,262 to appear on your show, and--and-- 399 00:14:46,304 --> 00:14:48,347 - And that's our show. 400 00:14:48,389 --> 00:14:52,310 This has been a banquet of connections, 401 00:14:52,351 --> 00:14:54,937 emotions, thoughts, and feelings. 402 00:14:57,106 --> 00:14:58,066 - It certainly-- - Thank you. 403 00:14:58,107 --> 00:14:59,275 Thank you. 404 00:14:59,317 --> 00:15:01,819 [both laughing] 405 00:15:01,861 --> 00:15:04,530 So what'd you think? 406 00:15:04,572 --> 00:15:07,075 - I loved it. - Ah! 407 00:15:07,116 --> 00:15:08,951 Wasn't it scintillating? 408 00:15:08,993 --> 00:15:10,787 Look, I know we missed tapas with Herman, 409 00:15:10,828 --> 00:15:13,956 but we can nosh with a pansexual geologist any time. 410 00:15:13,998 --> 00:15:17,460 I thought you'd rather get to see your dad do what he do. 411 00:15:17,502 --> 00:15:19,003 - No, no, no, no, it's Carl. 412 00:15:19,045 --> 00:15:20,463 He's so funny. 413 00:15:20,505 --> 00:15:22,340 He should have his own TikTok or something. 414 00:15:22,382 --> 00:15:24,759 - [chuckles] Preaching to the choir, little man. 415 00:15:24,801 --> 00:15:27,053 You should see his impression of your dad. 416 00:15:27,095 --> 00:15:28,179 - Wh--pardon? 417 00:15:28,221 --> 00:15:30,431 - Oh, come on, Carl. Do it! 418 00:15:30,473 --> 00:15:32,183 - I should probably go check on my-- 419 00:15:32,225 --> 00:15:33,184 - [chanting] Do it... 420 00:15:33,226 --> 00:15:35,144 [together] Do it, do it! 421 00:15:35,186 --> 00:15:39,023 - [chuckles] Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. 422 00:15:39,065 --> 00:15:40,900 Go ahead, Carl. 423 00:15:40,942 --> 00:15:43,277 - Okay, this is Lauren ordering takeout. 424 00:15:43,319 --> 00:15:44,570 [clears throat] 425 00:15:45,947 --> 00:15:48,866 [as Lauren] I revere your beautiful culture. 426 00:15:48,908 --> 00:15:51,119 But if there is a hint of spice in my pad Thai, 427 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,703 I will press charges. 428 00:15:52,745 --> 00:15:53,955 [laughter] 429 00:15:53,996 --> 00:15:55,206 - Oh, my God. 430 00:15:55,248 --> 00:15:56,916 That is so good. 431 00:15:56,958 --> 00:15:58,584 - You're a thespian, Carl. 432 00:15:58,626 --> 00:16:01,045 - You're literally Frank Caliendo, dude. 433 00:16:01,087 --> 00:16:03,715 - He even got the way your vowels sound wet. 434 00:16:03,756 --> 00:16:05,800 - A common parrot can do an imitation though. 435 00:16:05,842 --> 00:16:07,802 [chuckles] African Grey Beard-- 436 00:16:07,844 --> 00:16:10,638 not because you're African American-- 437 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:12,432 or that you have a gray beard. 438 00:16:12,473 --> 00:16:14,600 I would never call you African Grey Beard. 439 00:16:14,642 --> 00:16:15,476 - [sighs] 440 00:16:15,518 --> 00:16:17,061 - Now, if you'll excuse us, 441 00:16:17,103 --> 00:16:20,273 Ginsberg and I are due at Sushi Damo by 6:00. 442 00:16:20,314 --> 00:16:22,734 - Can we just eat turkey like regular people? 443 00:16:22,775 --> 00:16:25,027 - Caspians are anything but regular. 444 00:16:25,069 --> 00:16:26,946 The quotables and limericks you hear tonight 445 00:16:26,988 --> 00:16:28,823 will be what you bring back to the literal 446 00:16:28,865 --> 00:16:30,867 and cultural desert where you live. 447 00:16:30,908 --> 00:16:32,410 - I don't wanna go. 448 00:16:32,452 --> 00:16:33,995 - We've already missed 3 of the 19 courses. 449 00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:36,247 And I, for one, refuse to miss course five. 450 00:16:36,289 --> 00:16:38,499 The sous-chef pinches you while you eat. 451 00:16:38,541 --> 00:16:39,751 Get your coat, Ginsberg. 452 00:16:39,792 --> 00:16:41,294 - [mimicking Lauren] Get your coat, Ginsberg. 453 00:16:41,335 --> 00:16:42,503 We shan't waste our day 454 00:16:42,545 --> 00:16:44,338 with the lowest common denominator. 455 00:16:44,380 --> 00:16:45,465 - That's enough. 456 00:16:45,506 --> 00:16:47,008 - Look at me. 457 00:16:47,050 --> 00:16:49,135 I read big, awful books, 458 00:16:49,177 --> 00:16:51,929 and I watch movies that are homework from hell. 459 00:16:51,971 --> 00:16:53,181 - Ginsberg! 460 00:16:53,222 --> 00:16:56,267 - I got Ginsberg's mom pregnant in a hot tub. 461 00:16:56,309 --> 00:16:58,644 She read a feminist poem, and I jizzed, 462 00:16:58,686 --> 00:17:02,607 and through some sick miracle, Ginsberg was conceived. 463 00:17:02,648 --> 00:17:04,776 - Oh, kiddo, you shouldn't know that. 464 00:17:04,817 --> 00:17:06,694 - It was a natural hot springs. 465 00:17:06,736 --> 00:17:09,781 - We're gonna go to a raw fish Thinks-giving with strangers 466 00:17:09,822 --> 00:17:12,742 because everything I do has to be interesting... 467 00:17:12,784 --> 00:17:14,494 - Ginsberg-- - Even though hardly anyone 468 00:17:14,535 --> 00:17:16,913 pays attention to me, and the ones who do... 469 00:17:16,954 --> 00:17:18,873 - That's enough! - Just think I'm lonely! 470 00:17:18,915 --> 00:17:20,249 And sad! 471 00:17:20,291 --> 00:17:22,835 And lame! 472 00:17:33,805 --> 00:17:37,725 - Uh, everyone else could see that little boy too, right? 473 00:17:42,188 --> 00:17:44,315 - [sobbing] 474 00:17:44,357 --> 00:17:46,317 - The sound you make when you weep 475 00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:48,486 is giving me a migraine. 476 00:17:48,528 --> 00:17:50,363 - My son hates me. 477 00:17:50,405 --> 00:17:52,240 - No. I hate you. 478 00:17:52,281 --> 00:17:54,158 Your son is just angry with you. 479 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:55,868 - No, I suck. 480 00:17:55,910 --> 00:17:58,663 I suck so bad. 481 00:17:58,704 --> 00:18:01,791 - Stop making that sound, you bitch. 482 00:18:01,833 --> 00:18:03,626 - I didn't think you used that word. 483 00:18:03,668 --> 00:18:05,503 - I usually don't. 484 00:18:05,545 --> 00:18:08,881 Do you want me to listen, or do you want me to solve it? 485 00:18:08,923 --> 00:18:11,008 - Mm, solve it? 486 00:18:11,050 --> 00:18:14,512 - Stop trying to get Ginsberg to be like you. 487 00:18:14,554 --> 00:18:16,514 You don't even like being you. 488 00:18:16,556 --> 00:18:18,307 - I love being me. 489 00:18:19,475 --> 00:18:20,977 No! Please, please. 490 00:18:21,018 --> 00:18:22,687 Okay, tell me what to do. 491 00:18:22,729 --> 00:18:24,647 - Just be a dad. 492 00:18:24,689 --> 00:18:27,734 Be a normal, boring dad. 493 00:18:27,775 --> 00:18:29,527 - I don't know how to be boring. 494 00:18:29,569 --> 00:18:31,070 - Wrong, bitch! 495 00:18:31,112 --> 00:18:33,573 You areboring. 496 00:18:33,614 --> 00:18:35,825 So am I. That's why I hate you. 497 00:18:35,867 --> 00:18:37,827 You're like a magic mirror that shows me 498 00:18:37,869 --> 00:18:41,038 what a sweaty fraud I am. 499 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:42,790 I mean, look at us. 500 00:18:42,832 --> 00:18:46,252 I'm staging a protest for nobody, 501 00:18:46,294 --> 00:18:49,922 and you're dragging your son to get mercury poisoning 502 00:18:49,964 --> 00:18:53,718 with nerds who don't even like you. 503 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:56,387 And for what? [sighs] 504 00:18:59,057 --> 00:19:00,975 We're still boring, Lauren. 505 00:19:01,017 --> 00:19:04,520 Now we're just boring and alone. 506 00:19:06,773 --> 00:19:10,318 - So wh-what do I do with Ginsberg? 507 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:12,070 - I don't know. 508 00:19:12,111 --> 00:19:15,990 Just try to enjoy the things he enjoys. 509 00:19:17,700 --> 00:19:18,785 - Hmm. 510 00:19:18,826 --> 00:19:21,913 His pleasure is my pleasure. 511 00:19:21,954 --> 00:19:25,374 Of course--compersion. 512 00:19:25,416 --> 00:19:27,585 Fabian, thank you. 513 00:19:27,627 --> 00:19:29,212 [sobs] 514 00:19:29,253 --> 00:19:31,756 - Stop crying, you little bitch. 515 00:19:31,798 --> 00:19:34,092 - [continues sobbing] 516 00:19:34,133 --> 00:19:37,220 [jazz music playing] 517 00:19:44,602 --> 00:19:47,146 - * We've come too far together * 518 00:19:47,188 --> 00:19:49,732 * To throw it all away * 519 00:19:49,774 --> 00:19:52,360 * 'Cause right here in my heart, girl * 520 00:19:52,402 --> 00:19:54,904 * Forever you will stay * 521 00:19:54,946 --> 00:19:58,116 * 'Cause, baby, you're the one * 522 00:19:58,157 --> 00:20:01,327 * That keeps me hanging on * 523 00:20:05,331 --> 00:20:06,791 - Hello? 524 00:20:06,833 --> 00:20:08,751 - [breathes deeply] I know. 525 00:20:08,793 --> 00:20:10,128 It's time to go to sushi. 526 00:20:10,169 --> 00:20:12,463 I'll be down in a second. 527 00:20:12,505 --> 00:20:15,133 - I--I thought maybe we could stay here. 528 00:20:17,218 --> 00:20:18,094 - Why? 529 00:20:18,136 --> 00:20:19,470 - Well, I was thinking maybe 530 00:20:19,512 --> 00:20:22,390 we could play that killing game that you like. 531 00:20:23,850 --> 00:20:25,393 - You won't like it. 532 00:20:25,435 --> 00:20:28,479 There aren't any jazz critics in it. 533 00:20:28,521 --> 00:20:31,190 - Well, if it's-- if it's okay with you, Eric, 534 00:20:31,232 --> 00:20:33,568 I-I'd like to at least try it. 535 00:20:41,367 --> 00:20:43,536 Oh. [gasps] 536 00:20:43,578 --> 00:20:47,665 Oh, my goodness, this is very realistic. 537 00:20:47,707 --> 00:20:49,167 [laughs] 538 00:20:49,208 --> 00:20:50,960 [splutters] And I have to be a soldier? 539 00:20:51,002 --> 00:20:52,879 There's no diplomatic option? 540 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:54,672 - Yeah, you gotta be a s-soldier. 541 00:20:54,714 --> 00:20:56,382 You're in the war. 542 00:20:56,424 --> 00:20:57,884 - I'm in the war. 543 00:21:01,888 --> 00:21:04,265 Ha. Ha. - Oh, thank God. 544 00:21:04,307 --> 00:21:06,851 We were worried you'd come up here to kill yourself. 545 00:21:06,893 --> 00:21:08,019 Lauren's not dead, guys. 546 00:21:08,061 --> 00:21:09,395 He's playing a game. 547 00:21:11,105 --> 00:21:13,483 - Mmm, mulled to perfection. - Oh. Ah. 548 00:21:13,524 --> 00:21:15,109 - Oh, look out. - Oh, goodness! 549 00:21:15,151 --> 00:21:16,527 Someone's attacking. 550 00:21:16,569 --> 00:21:18,029 ISIS! Or is it? 551 00:21:18,071 --> 00:21:19,405 [laughs] Is it the fog of war? 552 00:21:19,447 --> 00:21:20,907 - [laughing] Dad! 553 00:21:20,948 --> 00:21:21,908 - Whoa! - You don't have 554 00:21:21,949 --> 00:21:23,576 to move around so much. 555 00:21:23,618 --> 00:21:26,996 - I--I hate to say it, but I'm enjoying the violence. 556 00:21:27,038 --> 00:21:28,790 I like to kill. 557 00:21:28,831 --> 00:21:30,208 Ah. 558 00:21:31,626 --> 00:21:33,419 Grenade! 559 00:21:33,461 --> 00:21:34,420 - Oh. 560 00:21:35,630 --> 00:21:36,631 - [screams] 561 00:21:36,672 --> 00:21:38,091 [all gasp] - Dad! 562 00:21:43,888 --> 00:21:45,515 - I'm alive. 563 00:21:45,556 --> 00:21:48,893 - [sighs] Woodstock has saved us again. 564 00:21:48,935 --> 00:21:51,729 first in '69, then in '99, 565 00:21:51,771 --> 00:21:54,774 and now, in 2019. 566 00:21:54,816 --> 00:21:58,027 - Sandy, it's 2023. 567 00:21:58,069 --> 00:22:00,822 - [breathes deeply] Mm. 568 00:22:00,863 --> 00:22:03,449 [singing beautifully] * Sometimes I wonder * 569 00:22:03,491 --> 00:22:08,454 * If I'm ever gonna make it home again * 570 00:22:08,496 --> 00:22:12,750 * It's so far and out of sight * 571 00:22:16,003 --> 00:22:20,883 * I really need someone to talk to * 572 00:22:20,925 --> 00:22:27,890 * And nobody else knows how to comfort me tonight * 573 00:22:30,393 --> 00:22:33,896 * Snow is cold * 574 00:22:33,938 --> 00:22:38,025 * Rain is wet * 575 00:22:38,067 --> 00:22:40,611 * Chills my soul * 576 00:22:40,653 --> 00:22:46,075 * Right to the marrow * 577 00:22:46,117 --> 00:22:50,955 * I won't be happy till I see you * 578 00:22:50,997 --> 00:22:53,082 * Alone again * 579 00:22:53,124 --> 00:22:57,503 * Till I'm home again and feeling right * 580 00:23:06,679 --> 00:23:09,348 Joe Biden was born in Kenya!