1 00:00:21,272 --> 00:00:22,815 - Never hurts to have a spot. 2 00:00:22,857 --> 00:00:24,442 - If I'm the safety rep, 3 00:00:24,484 --> 00:00:26,486 then I guess you're the safety rep's safety rep. 4 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:27,904 - [chuckles] [smoke detector beeping] 5 00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:30,239 Can't have our leader falling and bonking her head. 6 00:00:30,281 --> 00:00:32,408 We need that elegant brain unbruised. 7 00:00:32,450 --> 00:00:34,911 - Carl! [elevator dings] 8 00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:38,539 - Well, the sperm bank won't let me donate anymore. 9 00:00:38,581 --> 00:00:39,624 - What? 10 00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:42,085 - They said my sperm are "too passive." 11 00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:46,089 Apparently, they coddle the egg without any penetration. 12 00:00:46,130 --> 00:00:47,548 - I don't understand, 13 00:00:47,590 --> 00:00:49,175 but I don't want an explanation. 14 00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:50,760 - They said even the boldest of my sperm 15 00:00:50,802 --> 00:00:54,555 only managed to do a series of "semi-offensive bows." 16 00:00:54,597 --> 00:00:56,933 I just don't know what to do. 17 00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:58,184 - Um... 18 00:00:58,226 --> 00:00:59,310 - You could always donate blood. 19 00:00:59,352 --> 00:01:02,355 - Oh, no. I refuse to give even one drop 20 00:01:02,397 --> 00:01:06,150 until they accept donations from people with AIDS. 21 00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:09,779 [door clicks] 22 00:01:09,821 --> 00:01:12,782 [upbeat music] 23 00:01:12,824 --> 00:01:14,575 * * 24 00:01:16,536 --> 00:01:19,038 - I'm so sorry, Fabian, but as I've tried to explain, 25 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:22,291 you're not allowed to have a lit oil lamp in the office. 26 00:01:22,333 --> 00:01:24,043 - It's an emotional support flame. 27 00:01:24,085 --> 00:01:25,712 - Is it prescribed? 28 00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:27,213 - You can't ask me that. 29 00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:29,632 - I'm sorry, Fabian. Rules are rules. 30 00:01:31,634 --> 00:01:33,177 - [blows] 31 00:01:33,219 --> 00:01:36,180 - You know that law where you can't yell fire in a theater? 32 00:01:36,222 --> 00:01:38,141 That's because of me. 33 00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:41,144 [soft jazz music] 34 00:01:41,185 --> 00:01:44,063 * * 35 00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:45,440 - Lauren, you're on. 36 00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:48,651 - Everything is OK with my life, 37 00:01:48,693 --> 00:01:51,487 and I couldn't be more excited for today's guest, 38 00:01:51,529 --> 00:01:54,866 a multi-hyphenate of profound insight and intellect. 39 00:01:54,907 --> 00:01:57,660 Roxane Gay, welcome to "In the Know." 40 00:01:57,702 --> 00:01:59,537 - Thank you for having me. 41 00:01:59,579 --> 00:02:01,289 - Roxane uh, before we start... 42 00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:02,874 - Mm-hmm. - No biggie, 43 00:02:02,915 --> 00:02:05,793 but I'm currently dealing with a devastating personal issue. 44 00:02:05,835 --> 00:02:08,963 But it shan't interfere with the interview in any way. 45 00:02:09,005 --> 00:02:10,715 - OK. 46 00:02:15,011 --> 00:02:16,554 - [exhales] 47 00:02:16,596 --> 00:02:19,307 You are someone who seems to thrive 48 00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:20,975 discussing uncomfortable topics. 49 00:02:21,017 --> 00:02:22,518 How do you find the courage 50 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:25,021 to be so brutally honest in your writing? 51 00:02:25,063 --> 00:02:27,023 - Well, you know, I don't know that it's courage. 52 00:02:27,065 --> 00:02:29,817 I just do it, despite being absolutely terrified 53 00:02:29,859 --> 00:02:33,446 at all times, and hope for the best. 54 00:02:33,488 --> 00:02:35,698 - Roxane, if it's stressing you out, 55 00:02:35,740 --> 00:02:37,825 uh, please just know that the personal situation 56 00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:40,578 I alluded to is a medical thing. 57 00:02:40,620 --> 00:02:41,996 - Uh-huh. 58 00:02:42,038 --> 00:02:43,956 - But we're not here to talk about that. 59 00:02:43,998 --> 00:02:45,458 Roxane, what do you think 60 00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:47,460 the next wave of feminism will look like? 61 00:02:47,502 --> 00:02:49,545 Because I believe, as an ally, 62 00:02:49,587 --> 00:02:53,383 that the next wave must be led by white cis het men. 63 00:02:53,424 --> 00:02:55,426 We've made the mess. We clean it up. 64 00:02:55,468 --> 00:02:57,011 You break it, you bought it. - No. 65 00:02:57,053 --> 00:03:00,264 The next wave of feminism is going to be led 66 00:03:00,306 --> 00:03:02,892 by young people of color 67 00:03:02,934 --> 00:03:05,478 because they have the keenest understanding 68 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,522 of what's truly at stake when we talk 69 00:03:07,563 --> 00:03:10,149 about equality and equity. 70 00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:12,151 And I think Black women have actually-- 71 00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:14,278 - Oh, Jesus Christ. 72 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:17,323 - Lauren, do you want to talk about what's distracting you? 73 00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:19,242 - I'm not--I'm fine. 74 00:03:19,283 --> 00:03:20,743 - Well, if you need to talk, I'm here. 75 00:03:20,785 --> 00:03:22,370 I'm a great listener, I'm told. 76 00:03:22,412 --> 00:03:24,705 - Do you want me to just tell you what it is? 77 00:03:24,747 --> 00:03:25,748 - I do. 78 00:03:25,790 --> 00:03:27,041 - I actually don't feel comfortable 79 00:03:27,083 --> 00:03:28,626 talking about it on air. 80 00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:32,672 - [sighs] He can't focus. 81 00:03:32,714 --> 00:03:36,342 This is gonna be tough to edit. 82 00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:37,802 - If it helps lighten your load, 83 00:03:37,844 --> 00:03:39,804 I could take over as safety rep. 84 00:03:39,846 --> 00:03:41,639 - Oh, I couldn't put that on you. 85 00:03:41,681 --> 00:03:43,099 - It'd be my pleasure. 86 00:03:43,141 --> 00:03:45,184 Emergency management's actually a passion of mine. 87 00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:46,519 - Really? 88 00:03:46,561 --> 00:03:48,271 - It's imagination meets preparation. 89 00:03:48,312 --> 00:03:49,647 We like to say on our subreddit, 90 00:03:49,689 --> 00:03:52,191 if you can fear it, you can plan for it. 91 00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:53,443 - Hmm. 92 00:03:53,484 --> 00:03:55,403 - When you embrace vulnerability 93 00:03:55,445 --> 00:03:58,239 and choose to see it as an asset 94 00:03:58,281 --> 00:03:59,532 rather than a liability, 95 00:03:59,574 --> 00:04:01,200 that can be incredibly powerful-- 96 00:04:01,242 --> 00:04:04,078 - This morning, I was diagnosed with having passive sperm. 97 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:05,830 There. [sighs] 98 00:04:05,872 --> 00:04:08,624 - What on Earth is passive sperm? 99 00:04:08,666 --> 00:04:11,919 - Think of my sperm almost like a seventh-grade boy 100 00:04:11,961 --> 00:04:13,713 at a Sadie Hawkins dance. 101 00:04:13,755 --> 00:04:14,839 - Oh, boy. 102 00:04:14,881 --> 00:04:17,258 - Huddling in the corner, pulling his pud, 103 00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:18,593 frightened of the girls. 104 00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:19,969 And it's very upsetting 105 00:04:20,011 --> 00:04:22,513 because masturbating was my way of giving back. 106 00:04:22,555 --> 00:04:24,307 But now at clinics, they've turned me away. 107 00:04:24,348 --> 00:04:25,850 - Mm. 108 00:04:25,892 --> 00:04:28,978 - And I just feel a real loss of vocation. 109 00:04:29,020 --> 00:04:32,273 - Well, I could see how you would feel a loss of vocation, 110 00:04:32,315 --> 00:04:34,567 what with all of that good Samaritan masturbation 111 00:04:34,609 --> 00:04:36,110 that you've been doing. 112 00:04:36,152 --> 00:04:38,488 - Well, I just don't understand what I'm supposed to do 113 00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:41,074 if my sperm is literally allergic to eggs. 114 00:04:41,115 --> 00:04:43,493 - You can still masturbate on your own, 115 00:04:43,534 --> 00:04:46,329 and you can know that your soldiers have 116 00:04:46,370 --> 00:04:47,997 fought as hard as they could. 117 00:04:48,039 --> 00:04:49,832 - Like Antietam. 118 00:04:49,874 --> 00:04:53,336 - [chuckles] Exactly like that. 119 00:04:53,378 --> 00:04:56,464 - Oh, Roxane, thank you. 120 00:04:56,506 --> 00:04:58,800 I'm ready to move on. - OK, good. 121 00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:00,385 - If you were stuck in a library 122 00:05:00,426 --> 00:05:02,261 during an apocalyptic blizzard, 123 00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:05,348 what is the first book you would burn for warmth? 124 00:05:05,390 --> 00:05:07,850 - Oh, wow. 125 00:05:07,892 --> 00:05:09,852 - For me, it would be Malcolm Gladwell's "Blink" 126 00:05:09,894 --> 00:05:11,979 because I just believe-- and, you know, 127 00:05:12,021 --> 00:05:14,357 I mean this in a neutral and objective way-- 128 00:05:14,399 --> 00:05:16,025 it's pure horseshit. 129 00:05:18,069 --> 00:05:21,197 - How is seasonal depression not a serious safety issue? 130 00:05:21,239 --> 00:05:22,532 - Totally. 131 00:05:22,573 --> 00:05:24,033 I don't know anybody back at Florida State 132 00:05:24,075 --> 00:05:25,535 that's depressed. 133 00:05:25,576 --> 00:05:27,870 Lots of alcohol poisoning but very few suicides. 134 00:05:27,912 --> 00:05:30,581 - Barb's clearly been safety rep for far too long. 135 00:05:30,623 --> 00:05:32,917 The power's gone to her head. 136 00:05:34,544 --> 00:05:37,755 Viva la revolución. 137 00:05:41,968 --> 00:05:43,845 - You know, people don't know how to take me. 138 00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:45,888 They often perceive me as a man, 139 00:05:45,930 --> 00:05:48,599 which is weird because I have a great rack. 140 00:05:48,641 --> 00:05:50,393 - [laughing] Oh, my goodness! 141 00:05:50,435 --> 00:05:52,520 Roxane! - It's just true. 142 00:05:52,562 --> 00:05:54,105 [both laugh] 143 00:05:54,147 --> 00:05:55,606 - You're a delight. 144 00:05:55,648 --> 00:05:57,692 Now, you've said you like to write 145 00:05:57,734 --> 00:05:59,485 with "Law and Order: SVU" playing in the background. 146 00:05:59,527 --> 00:06:00,820 - Mm-hmm. 147 00:06:00,862 --> 00:06:03,573 The rhythm of the episodes, I have found, 148 00:06:03,614 --> 00:06:05,867 is really conducive to my writing process. 149 00:06:05,908 --> 00:06:08,161 - I do something similar when I'm preparing for interviews. 150 00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:10,413 I put on the video of Solange kicking Jay-Z 151 00:06:10,455 --> 00:06:11,622 in that elevator. 152 00:06:11,664 --> 00:06:13,166 - [laughs] You know what? 153 00:06:13,207 --> 00:06:14,751 I work out to that every day. 154 00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:16,210 It's amazing. - [laughs] 155 00:06:16,252 --> 00:06:19,255 A Peloton instructor can't compete with sisterly rage. 156 00:06:19,297 --> 00:06:22,675 - Who among us wouldn't want to take up arms for Beyoncé? 157 00:06:22,717 --> 00:06:24,469 - I once slapped a boy in my Hebrew school 158 00:06:24,510 --> 00:06:26,846 for insulting Roberta Flack. 159 00:06:26,888 --> 00:06:28,848 - And you know what? You were right for doing that 160 00:06:28,890 --> 00:06:30,600 because Roberta Flack is a goddess. 161 00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:32,643 - Excuse me one moment. Barb! 162 00:06:32,685 --> 00:06:34,854 - Lauren, what is it? You're mid-interview. 163 00:06:34,896 --> 00:06:37,523 - I think the seat warmer feature on my office chair 164 00:06:37,565 --> 00:06:39,192 might be causing my passive sperm. 165 00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:40,735 I need you to exchange it. 166 00:06:40,777 --> 00:06:42,403 - Fine, right after the interview. 167 00:06:42,445 --> 00:06:43,863 - No, right now, Barb! 168 00:06:43,905 --> 00:06:47,158 I'm not trying to give my semen an endless spa day. 169 00:06:49,702 --> 00:06:52,163 - I'll be back in 30 minutes. 170 00:06:53,831 --> 00:06:55,416 Oh, and before I forget, 171 00:06:55,458 --> 00:06:58,586 Carl will be taking over as safety rep. 172 00:06:58,628 --> 00:07:00,088 - That's right. 173 00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:04,801 - So, Carl, what's your position 174 00:07:04,842 --> 00:07:07,053 on emotional support flames? 175 00:07:07,095 --> 00:07:08,137 - Against? 176 00:07:08,179 --> 00:07:09,847 - Then I'm against you. 177 00:07:09,889 --> 00:07:11,974 No transfer of power can happen 178 00:07:12,016 --> 00:07:14,310 without a free and fair election. 179 00:07:14,352 --> 00:07:15,812 - Nice! 180 00:07:15,853 --> 00:07:17,939 Voting is my favorite part of "The Masked Singer." 181 00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:19,107 I get a say! 182 00:07:19,148 --> 00:07:20,983 - And if there's going to be an election, 183 00:07:21,025 --> 00:07:23,861 I will be throwing my hat in the ring. 184 00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:27,281 - Oh, shit! 185 00:07:30,118 --> 00:07:31,661 - So vote right now? 186 00:07:31,702 --> 00:07:33,371 - Hold on a second. 187 00:07:33,413 --> 00:07:35,832 Let's slow things down. 188 00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:40,336 I'm a registered swing voter, and I need to be seduced. 189 00:07:40,378 --> 00:07:41,838 - You mean convinced. 190 00:07:41,879 --> 00:07:44,132 - Whatever you want to call it, Daddy. 191 00:07:44,173 --> 00:07:45,425 - That sounds cool. 192 00:07:45,466 --> 00:07:47,719 I would also like to be seduced. 193 00:07:52,557 --> 00:07:57,395 [bell dings] 194 00:08:00,940 --> 00:08:03,151 - Dios mío. 195 00:08:03,192 --> 00:08:06,904 You have the perfect proportion for a chair. 196 00:08:06,946 --> 00:08:09,657 What is your name? 197 00:08:09,699 --> 00:08:11,075 - Barb. 198 00:08:11,117 --> 00:08:14,078 - Barb, I'm called Mariola, 199 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:15,913 and it will be my great pleasure 200 00:08:15,955 --> 00:08:18,207 to find you the perfect chair. 201 00:08:18,249 --> 00:08:19,542 - Oh. [laughs] 202 00:08:19,584 --> 00:08:22,503 I just need to do an exchange and get back. 203 00:08:22,545 --> 00:08:24,172 It isn't for me. 204 00:08:24,213 --> 00:08:28,301 - But Barb, everyone needs a chair. 205 00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:30,511 - I have a standing desk. 206 00:08:30,553 --> 00:08:33,264 - A standing desk? 207 00:08:33,306 --> 00:08:35,058 Qué horror. 208 00:08:35,099 --> 00:08:37,060 They won't be happy till they've taken 209 00:08:37,101 --> 00:08:40,271 everything that is beautiful. 210 00:08:40,313 --> 00:08:42,523 - Who are they? 211 00:08:42,565 --> 00:08:44,442 - You know who they are. 212 00:08:50,031 --> 00:08:52,950 [light jazz music] 213 00:08:52,992 --> 00:08:54,202 * * 214 00:08:54,243 --> 00:08:57,288 - If boxing is the sweet science, 215 00:08:57,330 --> 00:09:00,666 our next guest is J. Robert Oppenheimer. 216 00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:03,503 And like his atomic bomb, the power our guest produced 217 00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:07,048 was devastating and, at times, beautiful. 218 00:09:07,090 --> 00:09:09,133 Michael Tyson, welcome to "In the Know." 219 00:09:09,175 --> 00:09:11,928 We're so happy to have you. - Thank you. 220 00:09:11,969 --> 00:09:13,596 It's an honor for me to be here. 221 00:09:13,638 --> 00:09:16,265 - My favorite sport is "The Great British Bake Off" 222 00:09:16,307 --> 00:09:18,184 because it's so important to show 223 00:09:18,226 --> 00:09:20,103 ugly people on television. 224 00:09:20,144 --> 00:09:24,857 What do you think people enjoy about watching boxing? 225 00:09:24,899 --> 00:09:26,317 - The science. 226 00:09:26,359 --> 00:09:28,152 Some people enjoy the science, the technique. 227 00:09:28,194 --> 00:09:30,696 And some people are truly into the brutality of it. 228 00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:31,948 - Hmm. 229 00:09:31,989 --> 00:09:33,866 Did you ever think in the middle of a bout, 230 00:09:33,908 --> 00:09:36,411 "I wish I could just look my opponent in the eye 231 00:09:36,452 --> 00:09:38,329 and say, 'I am enough'"? 232 00:09:38,371 --> 00:09:40,748 - I do that when I smash his face. 233 00:09:40,790 --> 00:09:42,083 - Interesting. 234 00:09:42,125 --> 00:09:44,168 Now, Michael, when you're training for a fight, 235 00:09:44,210 --> 00:09:47,672 you famously listen exclusively to moody folk music. 236 00:09:47,714 --> 00:09:49,799 - No, when I'm training, 237 00:09:49,841 --> 00:09:52,301 nothing but hardcore hip-hop-- hardcore. 238 00:09:52,343 --> 00:09:56,931 The most destructive hip-hop, the most vile hip-hop, 239 00:09:56,973 --> 00:09:58,307 that's what I listen to when I train. 240 00:09:58,349 --> 00:09:59,934 - Right, but you must have trained 241 00:09:59,976 --> 00:10:01,185 to Carole King's rendition 242 00:10:01,227 --> 00:10:03,271 of "You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman." 243 00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:05,815 - I would not--I would never use that song, sir. 244 00:10:05,857 --> 00:10:07,275 - What about Joni Mitchell? 245 00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:09,193 - No, I would not use Ms. Mitchell. 246 00:10:09,235 --> 00:10:10,778 - Buffy Sainte-Marie? - No. 247 00:10:10,820 --> 00:10:12,655 - Joan Baez. - No, no. 248 00:10:12,697 --> 00:10:15,032 Listen-- - Patti Smith. 249 00:10:15,074 --> 00:10:16,868 Vashti Bunyan? 250 00:10:16,909 --> 00:10:19,162 The McGarrigle Sisters? - No. 251 00:10:19,203 --> 00:10:21,289 - But our researcher Fabian insisted 252 00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:23,040 that you love to shadowbox while listening 253 00:10:23,082 --> 00:10:24,208 to "Ladies of the Canyon." 254 00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:26,627 - No, Fabian fucked up. 255 00:10:26,669 --> 00:10:28,588 - You know, I'm glad to hear you say that, Michael, 256 00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:31,215 because any time I give any constructive criticism, 257 00:10:31,257 --> 00:10:33,801 she says all feedback is violence. 258 00:10:33,843 --> 00:10:35,887 - Well, violence is a state of mind. 259 00:10:35,928 --> 00:10:37,555 It's a perspective on violence. 260 00:10:37,597 --> 00:10:39,766 That's not violent to you, but it's violent to her. 261 00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:41,184 - Hmm. 262 00:10:41,225 --> 00:10:43,061 - Well, Michael, if you like strongly-worded hip-hop, 263 00:10:43,102 --> 00:10:45,188 you should listen to Lin-Manuel Miranda's rap 264 00:10:45,229 --> 00:10:46,689 about "The West Wing." 265 00:10:46,731 --> 00:10:49,609 It's deliciously funky. - Wow. 266 00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:53,071 - And have you seen his sketch on the Amy Schumer show? 267 00:10:53,112 --> 00:10:55,031 It's over six minutes long. 268 00:10:55,073 --> 00:10:57,658 - Hey, I like that. That sounds good. 269 00:10:57,700 --> 00:11:00,078 - And if the garbage chutes aren't weight-bearing, 270 00:11:00,119 --> 00:11:02,872 that escape route just became a death trap. 271 00:11:02,914 --> 00:11:04,832 - Wow, you really know your shit. 272 00:11:04,874 --> 00:11:06,834 - Uh, I've got a safety question. 273 00:11:06,876 --> 00:11:08,795 How many horny boomers could you have 274 00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:12,465 in this office after hours before it's a fire hazard? 275 00:11:12,507 --> 00:11:14,217 - Hypothetically? 276 00:11:14,258 --> 00:11:16,094 - No. 277 00:11:16,135 --> 00:11:17,220 - If you gentlemen have a minute, 278 00:11:17,261 --> 00:11:19,013 I'd like to show you something. 279 00:11:21,516 --> 00:11:23,017 - What do we really know about Carl? 280 00:11:23,059 --> 00:11:24,644 [dramatic music] 281 00:11:24,685 --> 00:11:28,648 Carl has a bachelor's degree in music production. 282 00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:33,653 Carl has a friendly relationship with his ex-wife. 283 00:11:33,694 --> 00:11:38,574 Carl goes to the bathroom two or three times a day. 284 00:11:38,616 --> 00:11:40,618 [toilet flushes] 285 00:11:40,660 --> 00:11:42,370 If we didn't know these things... 286 00:11:47,625 --> 00:11:48,710 - Whoa, Carl. 287 00:11:48,751 --> 00:11:50,044 That's some dark shit. 288 00:11:50,086 --> 00:11:51,629 You're like Pennywise, dude. 289 00:11:51,671 --> 00:11:53,881 - That was just facts about me set to scary music. 290 00:11:53,923 --> 00:11:55,425 - Yeah, but she's right. 291 00:11:55,466 --> 00:11:59,178 You do go to the bathroom sometimes. 292 00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:10,064 - It--it--it's nice. 293 00:12:10,106 --> 00:12:14,318 I don't know. I--I really should get back. 294 00:12:15,945 --> 00:12:17,739 - [blows] 295 00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:20,742 [soft Spanish guitar music] 296 00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:26,289 * * 297 00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:29,459 [whispering] What are you feeling? 298 00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:32,587 - I'm trying to think what Lauren would want. 299 00:12:32,628 --> 00:12:34,172 - Mierda. 300 00:12:34,213 --> 00:12:36,132 Do not think about this Lauren. 301 00:12:36,174 --> 00:12:39,552 She does not own you. 302 00:12:39,594 --> 00:12:41,679 Ask yourself, 303 00:12:41,721 --> 00:12:45,475 what does Barb want? 304 00:12:45,516 --> 00:12:47,435 - Oh! 305 00:12:49,604 --> 00:12:51,147 - My favorite teacher in high school 306 00:12:51,189 --> 00:12:54,067 was part educator, part spiritual advisor, 307 00:12:54,108 --> 00:12:57,445 and part amateur masseuse, and he was eventually arrested. 308 00:12:57,487 --> 00:13:00,531 What do you think is the ideal relationship 309 00:13:00,573 --> 00:13:03,117 between a boxer and their trainer? 310 00:13:03,159 --> 00:13:06,162 - Anyone that has a mentor or a trainer, 311 00:13:06,204 --> 00:13:08,623 their job is to make him happy. 312 00:13:08,664 --> 00:13:10,458 - For him to make you happy or for you to make him happy? 313 00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:12,877 - No, for me to make whoever my mentor is happy. 314 00:13:12,919 --> 00:13:15,380 If he says, "I want another heavyweight champ-- 315 00:13:15,421 --> 00:13:18,299 I can't wait to get another"-- I'm that heavyweight champ. 316 00:13:18,341 --> 00:13:19,675 - It's funny--I participate 317 00:13:19,717 --> 00:13:22,387 in an elderly self-defense class at the JCC, 318 00:13:22,428 --> 00:13:24,639 and I have a sensei, Muriel. 319 00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:27,100 And she's an 85-year-old tax attorney. 320 00:13:27,141 --> 00:13:30,645 And she once held me down on the mat until I wept. 321 00:13:30,686 --> 00:13:31,938 - Wow. 322 00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:33,314 - And I'm the youngest student by 30 years, 323 00:13:33,356 --> 00:13:35,024 but there are some defense tactics 324 00:13:35,066 --> 00:13:37,151 that I've learned in that class that even you, Michael, 325 00:13:37,193 --> 00:13:39,278 would not be able to overpower. 326 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:41,280 - I'm sure there are some, 327 00:13:41,322 --> 00:13:43,199 but you won't be the one to do it. 328 00:13:43,241 --> 00:13:44,659 - Michael, I'm telling you. 329 00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:47,370 I coil up like a little hermit crab so tightly 330 00:13:47,412 --> 00:13:49,872 that even you would not be able to pry me loose. 331 00:13:49,914 --> 00:13:51,749 And you could punt me clear down a hallway, 332 00:13:51,791 --> 00:13:54,877 as I have been punted, and I would never let go. 333 00:13:54,919 --> 00:13:56,254 - I don't believe that. 334 00:13:56,295 --> 00:13:57,964 Everybody's using force against you. 335 00:13:58,005 --> 00:13:59,340 I would tickle you. 336 00:13:59,382 --> 00:14:02,468 - Oh, my goodness gracious, you're right. 337 00:14:02,510 --> 00:14:05,304 I'm helpless in the face of a tickle monster. 338 00:14:05,346 --> 00:14:07,473 - I reign supreme. 339 00:14:07,515 --> 00:14:09,642 - By the time they were found, 340 00:14:09,684 --> 00:14:13,688 not even dental records could identify them. 341 00:14:13,730 --> 00:14:16,357 1977, Spokane. 342 00:14:16,399 --> 00:14:19,152 An insurance company enjoys a holiday party-- 343 00:14:19,193 --> 00:14:21,529 eggnog, secretive Santas. 344 00:14:21,571 --> 00:14:24,991 What these revelers don't know is, there's simultaneously 345 00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:26,784 an electrical fire in the copy room 346 00:14:26,826 --> 00:14:29,746 and a disgruntled former coworker with a chainsaw 347 00:14:29,787 --> 00:14:31,205 coming up the stairs. 348 00:14:31,247 --> 00:14:33,791 A classic perfect storm scenario. 349 00:14:33,833 --> 00:14:35,835 - That's fucking crazy. 350 00:14:35,877 --> 00:14:38,504 - Not if you've planned for it. [projector hums] 351 00:14:38,546 --> 00:14:41,340 - Those are statistical anomalies. 352 00:14:41,382 --> 00:14:43,176 Do you know the very real danger 353 00:14:43,217 --> 00:14:45,011 we face every single day? 354 00:14:45,053 --> 00:14:47,055 - Mandatory vaccinations. 355 00:14:47,096 --> 00:14:48,973 - MILF attacks? - No. 356 00:14:49,015 --> 00:14:53,061 Neuropsychic trauma. 357 00:14:53,102 --> 00:14:54,562 - That sounds bad. 358 00:14:56,773 --> 00:14:58,357 - These are the rules. 359 00:14:58,399 --> 00:15:00,860 The rules will protect us. 360 00:15:00,902 --> 00:15:03,529 - "No fluorescent lighting." 361 00:15:03,571 --> 00:15:05,073 Hmm, that sounds pretty chill. 362 00:15:05,114 --> 00:15:07,575 - No email subject lines in all caps, 363 00:15:07,617 --> 00:15:10,912 no mention of films that fail the Bechdel Test, 364 00:15:10,953 --> 00:15:13,456 no lunches you can smell 365 00:15:13,498 --> 00:15:15,750 or other traumatic stink attacks. 366 00:15:15,792 --> 00:15:19,087 - You covered our OSHA-mandated fire plan. 367 00:15:19,128 --> 00:15:21,089 - OSHA isn't in charge here anymore. 368 00:15:21,130 --> 00:15:23,216 - Oh, hell yeah! Punk rock! 369 00:15:23,257 --> 00:15:26,594 CBGB's, man. 370 00:15:26,636 --> 00:15:29,180 - When you think back on young Michael Tyson, 371 00:15:29,222 --> 00:15:31,557 do you feel a tenderness or a protectiveness 372 00:15:31,599 --> 00:15:33,851 for the little boy who was putting up 373 00:15:33,893 --> 00:15:36,229 with so much difficulty? 374 00:15:36,270 --> 00:15:37,563 - He cannot be protected. 375 00:15:37,605 --> 00:15:39,273 He has to go through the ring of fire 376 00:15:39,315 --> 00:15:42,693 in order to succeed-- to succeed in life. 377 00:15:42,735 --> 00:15:44,612 He has to be burnt. 378 00:15:44,654 --> 00:15:46,989 - [sighs] I feel as though I'm going 379 00:15:47,031 --> 00:15:48,866 through a ring of fire myself. 380 00:15:48,908 --> 00:15:52,537 I was recently diagnosed with passive sperm. 381 00:15:52,578 --> 00:15:55,706 Do you think my diagnosis makes me any less of a man? 382 00:15:57,208 --> 00:15:58,960 - Hey, listen, I don't know. 383 00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:00,461 Maybe you need more vitamins, 384 00:16:00,503 --> 00:16:03,965 you need iron to get the sperm more dense. 385 00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:07,093 I have no idea what the fuck is wrong with you. 386 00:16:07,135 --> 00:16:10,471 - I've noticed that my sperm does seem more diluted lately. 387 00:16:10,513 --> 00:16:12,640 It used to be a more viscous-- 388 00:16:12,682 --> 00:16:14,225 not to get into the gory specifics, 389 00:16:14,267 --> 00:16:15,643 but it used to be more viscous. 390 00:16:15,685 --> 00:16:18,688 And now it feels like a poorly brewed tea. 391 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:22,400 [sensual guitar music] 392 00:16:22,442 --> 00:16:29,574 * * 393 00:16:39,792 --> 00:16:42,712 [chair vibrating] 394 00:16:46,257 --> 00:16:49,385 - [sighing] 395 00:16:52,305 --> 00:16:55,558 Ooh! 396 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,685 [sighs] 397 00:17:00,688 --> 00:17:02,648 [gasps] 398 00:17:02,690 --> 00:17:03,900 [breathing heavily] Faster. 399 00:17:03,941 --> 00:17:05,193 I want to know them all. 400 00:17:05,234 --> 00:17:06,402 - And so you will. 401 00:17:06,444 --> 00:17:13,576 * * 402 00:17:23,586 --> 00:17:26,339 - You were so dominant as a boxer for so long. 403 00:17:26,381 --> 00:17:28,591 What did it feel like when you finally lost? 404 00:17:28,633 --> 00:17:29,967 - That was the best fight of my life 405 00:17:30,009 --> 00:17:32,053 because I learn from loss. 406 00:17:32,095 --> 00:17:33,179 That's what loss is. 407 00:17:33,221 --> 00:17:34,555 Life is about loss. 408 00:17:34,597 --> 00:17:37,183 You know, we, um-- we lose people we love. 409 00:17:37,225 --> 00:17:39,352 We lose our hair. We lose our teeth. 410 00:17:39,394 --> 00:17:42,146 We lose our interest to live, and then we die. 411 00:17:42,188 --> 00:17:45,483 And loss is a part of love, a great part of love. 412 00:17:45,525 --> 00:17:48,403 Loss is celebrated more than life is. 413 00:17:48,444 --> 00:17:50,154 - That's very profound, and the way 414 00:17:50,196 --> 00:17:54,242 I'm hearing that is, the loss of spermatic potency 415 00:17:54,283 --> 00:17:56,411 is a part of loving your sperm. 416 00:17:56,452 --> 00:17:58,079 And even though it's difficult 417 00:17:58,121 --> 00:18:01,207 to lose your sperm's assertiveness, 418 00:18:01,249 --> 00:18:04,585 if I truly love my sperm, I have to accept the loss of it 419 00:18:04,627 --> 00:18:07,255 as a part of my relationship to my own jism. 420 00:18:07,296 --> 00:18:09,924 - Absolutely. It's your sperm. 421 00:18:13,553 --> 00:18:15,555 - [groaning] 422 00:18:15,596 --> 00:18:18,141 - We need to erase your smell. 423 00:18:18,182 --> 00:18:20,309 - The alcohol is burning my skin. 424 00:18:20,351 --> 00:18:22,145 Ahh! - Shh. 425 00:18:22,186 --> 00:18:24,230 [whispering] It's quiet hour. 426 00:18:24,272 --> 00:18:25,898 - Why can't I eat my protein bars? 427 00:18:25,940 --> 00:18:27,275 - I already explained it to you. 428 00:18:27,316 --> 00:18:29,193 When you smack your lips, it makes me 429 00:18:29,235 --> 00:18:31,446 want to reach down your throat and tie up your tongue. 430 00:18:31,487 --> 00:18:34,073 And violence, even my own violent fantasies, 431 00:18:34,115 --> 00:18:36,284 make me feel very upset and unsafe. 432 00:18:36,325 --> 00:18:38,911 - Oh, right. 433 00:18:38,953 --> 00:18:41,038 - [grunts] It's burning bad. 434 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:42,999 - That means it's working. 435 00:18:52,300 --> 00:18:57,013 - This is your chair, these are your measurements, 436 00:18:57,055 --> 00:19:01,350 and this number is the New York state sales tax. 437 00:19:03,519 --> 00:19:04,937 - [sighs] 438 00:19:04,979 --> 00:19:07,398 I can't buy it. 439 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:09,484 I need to go back. 440 00:19:09,525 --> 00:19:12,612 - Por qué? 441 00:19:12,653 --> 00:19:14,238 - They need me. 442 00:19:16,741 --> 00:19:18,868 - Do they? 443 00:19:27,835 --> 00:19:29,796 - Where's Carl? 444 00:19:29,837 --> 00:19:30,922 - Carl's dead. 445 00:19:30,963 --> 00:19:32,298 [both scream] - God! 446 00:19:32,340 --> 00:19:34,300 - He didn't follow the safety protocols, 447 00:19:34,342 --> 00:19:37,470 and now he has a rusty pipe through his stomach! 448 00:19:37,512 --> 00:19:39,806 - [gasps] 449 00:19:39,847 --> 00:19:41,140 [screaming] 450 00:19:41,182 --> 00:19:44,143 - Shit, he's covered in rubbing alcohol! 451 00:19:44,185 --> 00:19:45,728 - Where are the fire extinguishers? 452 00:19:45,770 --> 00:19:47,480 - I--I removed them. - Why? 453 00:19:47,522 --> 00:19:49,816 - Because they made me think of dog penises! 454 00:19:49,857 --> 00:19:51,859 - [groaning] 455 00:19:51,901 --> 00:19:53,528 - I--I found an extinguisher! 456 00:19:53,569 --> 00:19:54,946 - No, don't! That's-- 457 00:19:54,987 --> 00:19:56,030 - [screaming] 458 00:19:56,072 --> 00:19:57,573 - That's bear spray! 459 00:19:57,615 --> 00:19:59,117 - Why do you have bear spray? 460 00:19:59,158 --> 00:20:01,202 - There could be a bear attack! 461 00:20:01,244 --> 00:20:02,870 - Funky butt loving-- [elevator dings] 462 00:20:02,912 --> 00:20:04,831 [screaming] - Sandy! 463 00:20:04,872 --> 00:20:07,917 - [screaming] 464 00:20:07,959 --> 00:20:11,713 [sighing] 465 00:20:11,754 --> 00:20:15,299 I--I vote Barb for safety rep. 466 00:20:16,926 --> 00:20:18,010 - Me too. 467 00:20:18,052 --> 00:20:19,721 - Yeah. - Me too. 468 00:20:19,762 --> 00:20:22,515 - Oh, wasn't that amazing? 469 00:20:22,557 --> 00:20:25,017 I think we all learned a valuable lesson today. 470 00:20:26,978 --> 00:20:29,689 'Tis better to have loved your sperm's potency 471 00:20:29,731 --> 00:20:33,276 and lost it than to have never been potent at all. 472 00:20:33,317 --> 00:20:35,945 Loss is a part of love. 473 00:20:35,987 --> 00:20:38,531 - I know exactly what you mean. 474 00:20:38,573 --> 00:20:42,076 I had the most incredible exp-- - Oh, good, you got the chair. 475 00:20:44,245 --> 00:20:46,456 I have walked through the fire. 476 00:20:46,497 --> 00:20:48,416 I reign supreme. 477 00:21:06,851 --> 00:21:08,603 - [gasps] 478 00:21:12,899 --> 00:21:16,110 [sensual guitar music] 479 00:21:16,152 --> 00:21:23,117 * *