1 00:00:26,506 --> 00:00:27,851 Man: This holiday season, 2 00:00:27,885 --> 00:00:29,885 show your loved ones that you really care 3 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:32,885 by getting them the gift that they've always wanted. 4 00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:35,885 Whoa, dad! Really?! 5 00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:37,471 Girl: Yes! 6 00:00:37,506 --> 00:00:39,264 Is there anything else? Wow. 7 00:00:39,299 --> 00:00:41,816 Slim jenko! This is just what I wanted! 8 00:00:41,851 --> 00:00:43,886 I want some! 9 00:00:43,921 --> 00:00:45,748 We can all have some. 10 00:00:45,783 --> 00:00:48,196 Man: We here at slim jenko pride ourselves 11 00:00:48,231 --> 00:00:51,231 on delivering a rich, flavorful malt beverage 12 00:00:51,265 --> 00:00:52,783 for the entire family. 13 00:00:52,817 --> 00:00:55,576 Make us part of your holiday tradition. 14 00:00:55,610 --> 00:00:57,886 Man #2: This Friday night at midnight on channel 83. 15 00:00:57,921 --> 00:00:59,886 - Mommy! - Lester. 16 00:00:59,921 --> 00:01:01,508 Lester, what are you doing? 17 00:01:01,542 --> 00:01:04,508 "Killed on Christmas: The Lester lord stor..." 18 00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:13,163 Woman: Including a regulation busting 2,500 milligrams 19 00:01:13,197 --> 00:01:14,749 of pure thc. 20 00:01:14,784 --> 00:01:16,577 Man #3: Kunz Christmas creampies, 21 00:01:16,611 --> 00:01:19,370 an established cream pie professional for over 50... 22 00:01:19,404 --> 00:01:21,716 Man #4: The U.S. defense department has spent over 23 00:01:21,750 --> 00:01:24,612 a trillion dollars on the most cutting edge robot technology, 24 00:01:24,647 --> 00:01:27,750 deployed overseas for a swift victory against america's 25 00:01:27,785 --> 00:01:31,267 deadliest enemies, and now sowell robotic products 26 00:01:31,302 --> 00:01:34,750 is here to make that technology fun for the entire family. 27 00:01:36,854 --> 00:01:39,198 Ho. Ho. Ho. 28 00:01:39,234 --> 00:01:40,889 Man #4: Introducing robosanta plus 29 00:01:40,924 --> 00:01:42,613 for the upcoming holiday season, 30 00:01:42,648 --> 00:01:45,475 with a vocabulary of over 90,000 words, 31 00:01:45,510 --> 00:01:46,855 a full range of motion, 32 00:01:46,889 --> 00:01:48,820 and built with military grade construction, 33 00:01:48,855 --> 00:01:51,786 robosanta plus fully replaces your local degenerate 34 00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:54,786 mall Santa, keeping you and your children safe. 35 00:01:54,820 --> 00:01:58,199 Exclusively this weekend 36 00:01:58,234 --> 00:02:03,649 at midland mall and gw bonkers. 37 00:02:05,304 --> 00:02:13,304 ♪♪ 38 00:02:16,959 --> 00:02:24,959 ♪♪ 39 00:02:28,788 --> 00:02:32,374 ♪ I am the yule tide cold 40 00:02:32,408 --> 00:02:35,374 ♪ leave the winter closed 41 00:02:35,995 --> 00:02:39,340 ♪ like hive of holy 42 00:02:39,375 --> 00:02:42,582 ♪ well, I dream of you 43 00:02:42,616 --> 00:02:46,237 ♪ nothing is 44 00:02:46,271 --> 00:02:49,340 ♪ and the slick 45 00:02:49,375 --> 00:02:53,168 ♪ to not peak at your breast, love ♪ 46 00:02:53,202 --> 00:02:57,410 ♪ before the devil reigns 47 00:02:57,445 --> 00:02:59,583 Tori: Thanks for coming in, guys. 48 00:02:59,617 --> 00:03:02,479 Thank you. Have a good one. 49 00:03:02,514 --> 00:03:04,859 Oh, shit! 50 00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:06,686 Hi. 51 00:03:06,721 --> 00:03:08,686 You look amazing. 52 00:03:08,721 --> 00:03:11,514 Hey, let me know if you need anything. 53 00:03:11,548 --> 00:03:13,548 Tori: Hey, it's almost 7:00, so I'm going to start 54 00:03:13,583 --> 00:03:15,204 closing up out back. You got it? 55 00:03:15,239 --> 00:03:17,273 - Yeah. - Oh, can you put this away? 56 00:03:17,308 --> 00:03:18,963 - Sure. - Thank you. 57 00:03:18,998 --> 00:03:20,204 - Hey! - Oh, shit. 58 00:03:20,239 --> 00:03:21,722 - Merry Christmas. - Hi. 59 00:03:21,756 --> 00:03:23,387 It's about time you show your fucking face around here. 60 00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:24,629 Yeah, I've been busy. You guys are swamped. 61 00:03:24,653 --> 00:03:26,239 -I know, I know. 62 00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:27,801 I thought you and lahna were closing tonight. 63 00:03:27,825 --> 00:03:30,308 Yeah, no, I told her I had to run home because I, um... 64 00:03:30,342 --> 00:03:31,584 Didn't get her gift. 65 00:03:31,618 --> 00:03:33,170 - I did get her a gift. - Oh, did you? 66 00:03:33,204 --> 00:03:34,561 But I'm now second guessing it, so now I'm going 67 00:03:34,585 --> 00:03:35,975 - to get some records. - Oh, yeah, you should be 68 00:03:35,999 --> 00:03:37,457 second guessing this. She has both of these. 69 00:03:37,481 --> 00:03:38,930 - She does. - She does. Yeah. 70 00:03:38,964 --> 00:03:40,688 Uh, follow me. Come on. 71 00:03:40,723 --> 00:03:42,654 You guys been together for, what, like a year? 72 00:03:42,688 --> 00:03:44,343 How are you this fucking dumb? 73 00:03:44,378 --> 00:03:46,181 No, I'm not... it's... I can't tell the difference 74 00:03:46,205 --> 00:03:48,447 between all these bands that the logos all look the same. 75 00:03:48,481 --> 00:03:50,216 - They all look the fucking same? - They all look the same. 76 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:52,181 - All scratchy and weird. - Yeah, they kind of do. 77 00:03:52,205 --> 00:03:55,793 Uh, all right, so what I'm going to show you now... yes. 78 00:03:55,827 --> 00:03:58,172 We saw these guys open at a festival this summer. 79 00:03:58,206 --> 00:04:01,655 She was fucking all over it. They've got the psychedelic, 80 00:04:01,689 --> 00:04:03,275 cosmic riff. She'll fucking love it. 81 00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:04,517 - Deathcrux? - Yeah. 82 00:04:04,551 --> 00:04:05,931 Okay. And she does not have this? 83 00:04:05,965 --> 00:04:07,517 - She does not have this. - Right on. 84 00:04:07,551 --> 00:04:08,872 - You're welcome. - Yes. No, thank you, Tori. 85 00:04:08,896 --> 00:04:10,758 Thank you. You saved Christmas again. 86 00:04:10,793 --> 00:04:14,656 Tori: By the way, I will come and say merry Christmas 87 00:04:14,690 --> 00:04:16,311 - to Lauren. - Sounds good. 88 00:04:16,345 --> 00:04:17,977 But just don't tell her I showed up here, okay? 89 00:04:18,001 --> 00:04:19,873 - What are you talking about? - Don't do the whole thing you do 90 00:04:19,897 --> 00:04:21,425 - when you're like... - "Oh, my god, it's so good 91 00:04:21,449 --> 00:04:23,380 - to see you. - No, yeah, don't do that. 92 00:04:23,414 --> 00:04:24,518 - Okay, bye. - Okay. 93 00:04:24,552 --> 00:04:25,863 - Robbie. - Hey, bro. 94 00:04:25,897 --> 00:04:27,459 - Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas, man. 95 00:04:27,483 --> 00:04:30,311 ♪ Bloody Christmas, bloody Christmas ♪ 96 00:04:30,345 --> 00:04:33,208 ♪ bloody Christmas, bloody Christmas ♪ 97 00:04:35,691 --> 00:04:38,208 Robbie: Fuck yeah. Almost 2 grand. 98 00:04:38,243 --> 00:04:41,519 - Yeah, that's a big day. - Does that mean a big boy bonus? 99 00:04:41,553 --> 00:04:44,243 - Means a bonus, yeah. - Fuck yeah, dawg! 100 00:04:44,277 --> 00:04:46,760 What are you going to do with your big bonus? 101 00:04:46,795 --> 00:04:48,243 You got any plans? 102 00:04:48,277 --> 00:04:49,495 Well, the talent show is at 8:00 P.M. 103 00:04:49,519 --> 00:04:51,209 - So, no, not really. - Yeah. 104 00:04:51,244 --> 00:04:52,910 What are you going to do this fine Christmas Eve? 105 00:04:52,934 --> 00:04:57,830 I was potentially going to go meet up with a dude, 106 00:04:57,865 --> 00:04:59,865 but I don't know. 107 00:04:59,899 --> 00:05:01,485 - A dude, a man. - Yep. 108 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:02,841 Okay, on Christmas Eve, you're going to invite 109 00:05:02,865 --> 00:05:04,589 a stranger to your house. 110 00:05:04,623 --> 00:05:05,841 Uh, a stranger to Reggie's, yeah. 111 00:05:05,865 --> 00:05:07,416 Okay, cool. Fuck, they're still open. 112 00:05:07,451 --> 00:05:09,185 Did you meet him organically, 113 00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:10,704 or is this, like, a tinder sort of scenario? 114 00:05:10,728 --> 00:05:13,624 - Tinder situation, yeah. - Oh, tinder, okay. 115 00:05:13,659 --> 00:05:14,900 - Yeah. - Can I see him? 116 00:05:14,935 --> 00:05:17,659 - Eh. - Eh. He must be a fucking stud. 117 00:05:17,693 --> 00:05:19,245 What the fuck else am I supposed to do? 118 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:21,693 You want me to go home, drink some whiskey, 119 00:05:21,728 --> 00:05:24,624 sit by the fire by my lonesome, watch "a Christmas story" 120 00:05:24,659 --> 00:05:27,555 like every other fucking douchebag in america? 121 00:05:27,590 --> 00:05:29,349 Yeah. Sounds kind of nice. 122 00:05:29,384 --> 00:05:32,349 Or you to go to drink some whiskey with me. 123 00:05:32,384 --> 00:05:33,636 Uh, that lahna's Christmas gift. 124 00:05:33,660 --> 00:05:35,177 - Is it? - So you can put a fuckin'... 125 00:05:35,211 --> 00:05:36,877 - No longer. - What the fuck are you doing? 126 00:05:36,901 --> 00:05:38,487 So, fuck no. 127 00:05:38,522 --> 00:05:39,798 I wanted to do that, too. 128 00:05:39,832 --> 00:05:42,177 So hand me some cups, and let's go. 129 00:05:42,211 --> 00:05:44,211 Are you gonna go see your pops up north tomorrow? 130 00:05:44,246 --> 00:05:45,625 - Yeah. - You should probably get 131 00:05:45,660 --> 00:05:47,291 - a head start late tonight. - No. Fuck that. 132 00:05:47,315 --> 00:05:48,626 One day, in and out, is my rule. 133 00:05:48,661 --> 00:05:50,212 I can't see anything wrong in that. 134 00:05:50,247 --> 00:05:51,557 - Fair enough. - Mazel tov. 135 00:05:51,592 --> 00:05:55,419 Robbie: Mazel tov. Cheers, motherfucker. 136 00:05:55,454 --> 00:05:57,178 Only quit stalling. Show me Tommy tinder. 137 00:05:57,212 --> 00:05:59,178 What the fuck is your obsession with this? 138 00:05:59,212 --> 00:06:00,637 - I want to see him. - I don't want to 139 00:06:00,661 --> 00:06:01,913 - show him to you. - Is he big? Is he a big boy? 140 00:06:01,937 --> 00:06:03,385 - Oh. - Bbw. 141 00:06:03,419 --> 00:06:04,775 - That what you want to know? - Yeah. 142 00:06:04,799 --> 00:06:07,765 In that case, I'll fuckin' show you. Here. 143 00:06:10,351 --> 00:06:11,662 What? 144 00:06:11,696 --> 00:06:13,524 I didn't know you knew Emmett eyeliner. 145 00:06:13,558 --> 00:06:15,593 Emmett eyeliner. Why are you calling him that? 146 00:06:15,627 --> 00:06:16,983 - Do you know him? - I know of him. 147 00:06:17,007 --> 00:06:18,627 Did he tell you he got, like, three kids? 148 00:06:18,662 --> 00:06:20,351 Wait four. Someone's pregnant now, I think. 149 00:06:20,386 --> 00:06:22,696 - Oh, fuck! He's got kids? - Yeah. 150 00:06:22,731 --> 00:06:24,386 I don't fucking care. 151 00:06:24,420 --> 00:06:26,766 I just want a little Christmas Eve schlong. 152 00:06:26,801 --> 00:06:29,387 Well, dude's a genic jackhammer. 153 00:06:29,421 --> 00:06:31,559 - Oh, Jesus. - Little, uh, sperm canon, 154 00:06:31,594 --> 00:06:33,352 all I'm saying. 155 00:06:33,387 --> 00:06:35,570 Okay, I'm happy you told me that, so I'll wear my dental dam 156 00:06:35,594 --> 00:06:37,697 and get fucking sauced before he shows up. 157 00:06:37,732 --> 00:06:39,628 Thank you. That's so sweet of you. 158 00:06:39,663 --> 00:06:40,673 Robbie: Well, I'll tell you what. 159 00:06:40,697 --> 00:06:42,180 I can go to Reggie's with you 160 00:06:42,214 --> 00:06:44,525 because, um, I don't really have shit to do. 161 00:06:44,559 --> 00:06:46,767 Robbie, that's very, very sweet of you, 162 00:06:46,802 --> 00:06:47,974 but I want to get laid. 163 00:06:48,009 --> 00:06:49,733 Not wax poetic with the regulars. 164 00:06:49,767 --> 00:06:52,629 Well, seeing as you didn't buy me a Christmas present 165 00:06:52,664 --> 00:06:54,491 this year, I'm going to take this. 166 00:06:54,526 --> 00:06:55,871 - Oh. - Thank you. 167 00:06:55,905 --> 00:06:57,698 And you can enjoy your, what, two hours 168 00:06:57,733 --> 00:07:01,905 of unbearable conversation, your 7 seconds of lame sex. 169 00:07:01,940 --> 00:07:05,975 You go home, probably, you know, get yourself off anyway. 170 00:07:06,010 --> 00:07:07,665 Or, I'm just throwing this out there, 171 00:07:07,699 --> 00:07:12,389 you can have two hours of amazing, vivacious, 172 00:07:12,423 --> 00:07:16,320 sort of hauntingly erotic conversation. 173 00:07:16,354 --> 00:07:18,182 - Hauntingly erotic? - Hauntingly erotic? 174 00:07:18,216 --> 00:07:19,906 And you can go home anyway. 175 00:07:19,941 --> 00:07:22,699 You know, get yourself off, like, flick your little bean. 176 00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:24,528 - Oh? - Yeah. 177 00:07:24,562 --> 00:07:26,676 And you don't have to wake up next to 30 seconds to Mars. 178 00:07:26,700 --> 00:07:28,907 All right, well, I've got a proposition for you. 179 00:07:28,942 --> 00:07:30,769 How about you give me back my fucking whiskey 180 00:07:30,804 --> 00:07:34,493 and stop talking about me flicking at my fucking bean? 181 00:07:34,528 --> 00:07:35,631 - Okay. - How about that? 182 00:07:35,666 --> 00:07:37,355 Have you confirmed with him? 183 00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:40,183 No, I have not given him a time. 184 00:07:40,217 --> 00:07:41,780 Poor guy. It's kind of sad. He's probably at home 185 00:07:41,804 --> 00:07:44,770 scrolling through your social media, fingers sweaty, 186 00:07:44,805 --> 00:07:47,805 hand firmly on cock, just... 187 00:07:47,839 --> 00:07:49,563 Beating that meat, waiting for your text 188 00:07:49,598 --> 00:07:51,874 to pop up at the top. 189 00:07:51,908 --> 00:07:53,632 Mm. I've blown off twice already, so. 190 00:07:53,667 --> 00:07:55,184 - Third time's a charm. - Yeah. 191 00:07:55,218 --> 00:07:57,805 Come on, get a drink with your old pal Robbie. 192 00:07:57,839 --> 00:08:00,977 It's my long time employee Robbie. 193 00:08:01,012 --> 00:08:03,392 - That's a little bit harsh. - It's true. I own you. 194 00:08:03,426 --> 00:08:04,851 - You own me? - You're on my payroll. Yeah. 195 00:08:04,875 --> 00:08:06,840 Mama. Okay. Okay. Okay. 196 00:08:06,875 --> 00:08:09,978 I'm going to change your mind. Have you heard his music? 197 00:08:10,013 --> 00:08:12,909 - I have not bothered, no. - Oh, that answers a lot. 198 00:08:12,944 --> 00:08:14,530 Why? What you got? 199 00:08:14,564 --> 00:08:15,885 Robbie: I'll show you something something fun. 200 00:08:15,909 --> 00:08:17,323 Tori: Hmm. 201 00:08:17,357 --> 00:08:19,288 All right. Ready? 202 00:08:19,323 --> 00:08:21,358 I'm losing interest already. Come on. 203 00:08:21,393 --> 00:08:22,703 Alright, you'll see. 204 00:08:22,738 --> 00:08:24,196 Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. 205 00:08:24,220 --> 00:08:26,772 What? 206 00:08:28,014 --> 00:08:29,772 - Oh, my god. - Soothing. 207 00:08:29,807 --> 00:08:31,507 Tori: Shut the fuck up. Why is he whisper singing? 208 00:08:31,531 --> 00:08:32,955 Robbie: Doesn't want to wake his parents, probably. 209 00:08:32,979 --> 00:08:34,358 What the fuck? Turn that off. 210 00:08:34,393 --> 00:08:35,910 Why are you showing that to me? Stop. 211 00:08:35,945 --> 00:08:37,576 Well, you know, it's not like you're going to saddle up 212 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,438 with the son of a bitch. I mean, you should probably 213 00:08:39,462 --> 00:08:42,497 let the guy go back to his family and his kids. 214 00:08:42,532 --> 00:08:43,911 He's a daddy, after all. 215 00:08:43,946 --> 00:08:45,394 - Daddy? - Yeah. 216 00:08:45,428 --> 00:08:48,566 Little Tommy tinder. 217 00:08:48,601 --> 00:08:50,359 Well... 218 00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:53,818 All right. Let's go get shit faced. 219 00:08:53,842 --> 00:08:55,566 But you're not getting anything either. 220 00:08:55,601 --> 00:08:57,232 So if you want to go flick your fucking bean, 221 00:08:57,256 --> 00:08:58,428 do what you need to do. 222 00:08:58,463 --> 00:08:59,981 - Come on. - All right. 223 00:09:00,016 --> 00:09:01,612 - Turn off the music. - Well, considering you were 224 00:09:01,636 --> 00:09:02,992 gonna saddle up with old Emmett eyeliner, 225 00:09:03,016 --> 00:09:04,740 I'm not sure how I should feel about that. 226 00:09:04,774 --> 00:09:06,612 Well, I don't work with them Emmett eyeliner, do I? 227 00:09:06,636 --> 00:09:08,267 Well, I am better looking in that douche, though, right? 228 00:09:08,291 --> 00:09:09,636 Do you want to fucking die? 229 00:09:09,671 --> 00:09:11,371 Get your fucking grubby shoes off the counter. 230 00:09:11,395 --> 00:09:14,671 Kill the music before I change my mind. 231 00:09:14,705 --> 00:09:16,888 - Should I meet you there or? - No, we're going to walk. 232 00:09:16,912 --> 00:09:21,430 - Well, it's fucking snowing out. - Oh, my god. That's so scary! 233 00:09:21,465 --> 00:09:23,396 Come on. Get those chicken legs out. 234 00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:25,499 Let's go for a walk. I got to bring this to lahna. 235 00:09:25,534 --> 00:09:27,475 Robbie: Why? They close at 6:00. They're not going to be open. 236 00:09:27,499 --> 00:09:28,948 No, they'll still be there. 237 00:09:28,982 --> 00:09:30,982 They're having a little Christmas Eve fuckfest. 238 00:09:31,017 --> 00:09:32,568 What the hell, why? 239 00:09:32,603 --> 00:09:34,303 Tori: You don't want to fuck in a toy store? 240 00:09:34,327 --> 00:09:36,465 No. Well, mm, maybe. I mean... 241 00:09:36,499 --> 00:09:37,994 Sounds like you don't want to fuck in a toy store. 242 00:09:38,018 --> 00:09:40,328 It's just kind of weird. Like, I feel sorry for the kid 243 00:09:40,362 --> 00:09:42,304 that's going to go in tomorrow, buy a Teddy bear covered 244 00:09:42,328 --> 00:09:43,742 - in fucking cum. - Oh, my god. 245 00:09:43,776 --> 00:09:45,500 We're going to scar him. That poor child. 246 00:09:45,535 --> 00:09:47,880 Come on. Lock up behind you. 247 00:09:54,776 --> 00:09:56,225 Robbie: We could have taken my car. 248 00:09:56,260 --> 00:09:57,570 Would have been a smart option. 249 00:09:57,605 --> 00:09:59,570 Do you want to keep keep complaining? 250 00:09:59,605 --> 00:10:01,260 Or do you want to just walk in silence? 251 00:10:01,294 --> 00:10:02,719 - What do you want to do? - You're the one who was 252 00:10:02,743 --> 00:10:04,743 complaining all day about fucking Christmas this, 253 00:10:04,777 --> 00:10:06,201 Christmas that, oh, I fucking hate Christmas. 254 00:10:06,225 --> 00:10:07,846 Well, Christmas fucking sucks. 255 00:10:07,881 --> 00:10:10,398 Do you not agree that there's no good fucking Christmas music, 256 00:10:10,432 --> 00:10:12,674 - no good Christmas movies. - Bad religion had 257 00:10:12,708 --> 00:10:14,822 - a great Christmas album. - Just fucking get it over with. 258 00:10:14,846 --> 00:10:16,744 - Eh. - It was good. 259 00:10:16,778 --> 00:10:19,640 There aren't many albums that give me that spirit 260 00:10:19,675 --> 00:10:20,985 of fucking Christmas. 261 00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:22,813 Well, bad fuckin' religion, ain't it, buddy. 262 00:10:22,847 --> 00:10:24,468 Give me that. 263 00:10:24,502 --> 00:10:30,295 I would go as far to say there's like fucking two... 264 00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:32,192 Two Christmas songs that are good, 265 00:10:32,226 --> 00:10:35,676 and that's if you don't count, if and only if, you don't count 266 00:10:35,710 --> 00:10:37,710 fucking crypt keeper "Christmas rap." 267 00:10:37,745 --> 00:10:39,262 Okay, love "tales from the crypt." 268 00:10:39,296 --> 00:10:41,262 That song sucks the fucking shit out of my ass. 269 00:10:41,296 --> 00:10:44,848 This is coming from a guy who jizzes his fucking pants 270 00:10:44,883 --> 00:10:48,986 every single time he hears buster Poindexter's cover of 271 00:10:49,021 --> 00:10:50,952 "zat you, Santa claus?" 272 00:10:50,986 --> 00:10:52,859 Robbie: No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't like that cover. 273 00:10:52,883 --> 00:10:54,470 I like the version with the commentary 274 00:10:54,504 --> 00:10:56,332 from beavis and butthead. 275 00:10:56,366 --> 00:10:58,504 - Okay. - Okay. 276 00:10:58,539 --> 00:11:00,228 "Merry Christmas", ramones, then. 277 00:11:00,263 --> 00:11:02,504 That's mine. What's your big fucking runner up? 278 00:11:02,539 --> 00:11:07,539 Uh, sorry to say, but "merry Christmas", ramones, 279 00:11:07,573 --> 00:11:09,332 that's a fucking runner up. 280 00:11:09,366 --> 00:11:10,504 - Yeah. - Fuck you. 281 00:11:10,539 --> 00:11:11,780 - First place... - Fuck you. 282 00:11:11,815 --> 00:11:13,436 First place is our lord and savior lemmy 283 00:11:13,471 --> 00:11:15,678 with "run Rudolph run." Oh, it's magic! 284 00:11:15,712 --> 00:11:17,378 Robbie: Okay. It's not like it's motorhead. 285 00:11:17,402 --> 00:11:18,826 It's lemmy with the fucking Foo Fighters. 286 00:11:18,850 --> 00:11:20,988 - Oh, r.I.P. - Oh, r.I.P. 287 00:11:21,023 --> 00:11:23,367 Also lemmy is fucking motorhead, you idiot. 288 00:11:23,402 --> 00:11:24,436 Yeah. 289 00:11:24,471 --> 00:11:25,678 Hey! 290 00:11:25,712 --> 00:11:28,402 Lahna! 291 00:11:28,436 --> 00:11:29,850 She knows you're coming, right? 292 00:11:29,885 --> 00:11:31,782 Yeah, of course she knows I'm fucking coming. 293 00:11:31,817 --> 00:11:33,334 Oh. 294 00:11:33,368 --> 00:11:35,230 - Hey, bitch. - Hi! 295 00:11:35,265 --> 00:11:36,679 Mwah! You look so good. 296 00:11:36,713 --> 00:11:37,724 - Thank you. - Hey, gorgeous. 297 00:11:37,748 --> 00:11:39,437 - Mwah. - Mwah. 298 00:11:39,472 --> 00:11:42,817 I brought you and Jay a little something, something. 299 00:11:42,851 --> 00:11:44,437 Ooh, I got you this. 300 00:11:44,472 --> 00:11:45,689 Oh, my god. I love you so much. 301 00:11:45,713 --> 00:11:47,541 - I missed you. - I missed you, too. 302 00:11:47,575 --> 00:11:48,886 Tori: Where's Jay? 303 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:50,921 He's in the back, freshening up. 304 00:11:50,956 --> 00:11:53,680 You know, he just gets a little musty. 305 00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:55,749 He gets a little musty? 306 00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:57,345 - You got a lot going on. - Musty she says. 307 00:11:57,369 --> 00:11:58,897 Lahna: Yeah, you know all about that, right? 308 00:11:58,921 --> 00:11:59,966 - No, I do. - You know all about that? 309 00:11:59,990 --> 00:12:01,576 - Baby. - Yeah. 310 00:12:01,611 --> 00:12:02,794 You know all about a little musty must? 311 00:12:02,818 --> 00:12:04,473 I got a stinky dick. 312 00:12:04,507 --> 00:12:06,714 - That's so fucked up. - Cute, right? 313 00:12:06,749 --> 00:12:08,197 - Bitch. - Yeah? 314 00:12:08,231 --> 00:12:09,818 You already cracked this open. 315 00:12:09,853 --> 00:12:12,543 We may have had, like, like a couple of drinks. 316 00:12:12,577 --> 00:12:15,888 This is the nicest thing anybody's ever done for me. 317 00:12:15,922 --> 00:12:18,198 I know. I know. It's very nice. And listen. 318 00:12:18,232 --> 00:12:19,864 Because we love you. We didn't buy it for you. 319 00:12:19,888 --> 00:12:21,991 We're giving it to you. 320 00:12:22,026 --> 00:12:24,577 - Well, merry fucking Christmas. - Merry fucking Christmas. 321 00:12:24,612 --> 00:12:27,474 - Baby! - On it. Jesus Christ! 322 00:12:27,508 --> 00:12:28,681 - Hey! - This motherfucker. 323 00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:29,923 I haven't seen you in so long. 324 00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:31,613 - How are you? - Oh, yeah. Right? 325 00:12:31,647 --> 00:12:33,268 - How are you? - Hey, bro. 326 00:12:33,302 --> 00:12:34,623 - Hey, buddy. Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas. 327 00:12:34,647 --> 00:12:36,233 - You look good. - Thank you. 328 00:12:36,268 --> 00:12:37,796 - Yeah, you do. - I've been doing nothing but 329 00:12:37,820 --> 00:12:40,440 selling toys and fucking living the clean life. 330 00:12:40,475 --> 00:12:42,199 Keep up. 331 00:12:42,233 --> 00:12:45,337 Oh! Um, what's up with you two? What's going on here? 332 00:12:45,371 --> 00:12:47,313 - Uh, just grabbing a drink. - Just grabbing a drink. 333 00:12:47,337 --> 00:12:48,797 I had to talk her out of some tinder trash. 334 00:12:48,821 --> 00:12:50,269 You didn't talk me out of anything. 335 00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:51,555 What was his name? Emmett... Emmett... 336 00:12:51,579 --> 00:12:52,900 - We don't have to talk... - Emmett! Oh, shit! 337 00:12:52,924 --> 00:12:54,441 Tori: No, I think we're ignoring that. 338 00:12:54,476 --> 00:12:55,728 Motherfuckin' four-kid Emmett. Four kid Emmett? 339 00:12:55,752 --> 00:12:57,303 - No. - Nearly five kid Emmett. 340 00:12:57,338 --> 00:12:58,590 Four kid Emmett. Why does everybody know Emmett 341 00:12:58,614 --> 00:13:00,269 - except for me? - He's got four kids. 342 00:13:00,303 --> 00:13:02,200 - All right. Well, cheers. Yeah. - No, no, no. 343 00:13:02,234 --> 00:13:03,797 What was the song? What was the song? It was... 344 00:13:03,821 --> 00:13:05,338 We don't need the song. 345 00:13:05,372 --> 00:13:08,201 ♪ And her heart whispers in my head ♪ 346 00:13:08,235 --> 00:13:09,763 - Alright, fuckers. - Go for it, tap on in. 347 00:13:09,787 --> 00:13:10,994 ♪ Because she's half dead 348 00:13:11,029 --> 00:13:12,856 - Tori! - No, no, no, no. 349 00:13:12,891 --> 00:13:14,580 Come back, come back, come back, come back. 350 00:13:14,615 --> 00:13:15,970 - Come back, come back. - Alright, you guys, I'm back. 351 00:13:15,994 --> 00:13:17,522 - It's a catchy song. - It's a good song. 352 00:13:17,546 --> 00:13:18,591 It's the feel good hit of the winter. 353 00:13:18,615 --> 00:13:19,718 - Okay, cheers. - Cheers. 354 00:13:19,753 --> 00:13:21,408 - To Christmas! - To Christmas! 355 00:13:21,442 --> 00:13:23,270 - Bah humbug. - Bah humbug. 356 00:13:23,304 --> 00:13:24,477 Santa: Ho, ho, ho. 357 00:13:24,511 --> 00:13:26,340 Come sit on Santa's lap 358 00:13:26,374 --> 00:13:28,685 and tell him what you want for Christmas. 359 00:13:28,719 --> 00:13:30,374 Ugh! 360 00:13:30,409 --> 00:13:33,685 - I fucking hate that. - No, they all get recalled. 361 00:13:33,719 --> 00:13:35,788 Priest said that to me when I was a young boy. 362 00:13:35,823 --> 00:13:38,892 Are you okay? You're not fucking okay. 363 00:13:38,926 --> 00:13:40,650 - No, I'm not well. - It's so bad. 364 00:13:40,685 --> 00:13:42,547 Thank god they're taking it out on Friday. 365 00:13:42,581 --> 00:13:44,626 Has he ever come to life while you guys were fucking? 366 00:13:44,650 --> 00:13:45,927 Oh, he joins. 367 00:13:45,962 --> 00:13:47,375 -Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 368 00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:48,927 - He's anatomical. - Oh, really? 369 00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:50,755 - Big bad Santa. - Okay. 370 00:13:50,789 --> 00:13:53,272 - Big Santa. - But I am hoping that they 371 00:13:53,306 --> 00:13:54,351 leave behind this aspect of it. 372 00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:55,444 Tori: What? 373 00:13:56,755 --> 00:14:00,893 - Oh! - Oh, baby, it's so romantic! 374 00:14:00,927 --> 00:14:03,375 Okay, we're getting the fuck out of here. 375 00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:04,559 This is too much Christmas for me. 376 00:14:04,583 --> 00:14:06,997 - Oh, no, no. - No, no, no, stay, stay. 377 00:14:07,032 --> 00:14:10,963 Stop! I fuckin'... that's a lot. That is a lot. 378 00:14:10,997 --> 00:14:13,790 It's really excessive. We're gonna have one drink and go. 379 00:14:13,825 --> 00:14:15,480 - All right. Yeah, fine. - Fine. 380 00:14:15,514 --> 00:14:17,238 Jay: We could just... You guys hang out. 381 00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:18,870 - We could have some more drinks. - We're not going to hang out. 382 00:14:18,894 --> 00:14:20,421 - The four of us. - We're not gonna hang out. 383 00:14:20,445 --> 00:14:21,973 - Santa, the anatomical Santa. - We're good. 384 00:14:21,997 --> 00:14:23,411 - Okay, alright. - Alright. 385 00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:24,791 - Easy, tiger. - Alright. 386 00:14:24,826 --> 00:14:26,377 - Cheers. - Cheers. 387 00:14:26,412 --> 00:14:28,688 Fuck. Merry Christmas to a fuckin' day off. 388 00:14:28,722 --> 00:14:30,550 - Little bit of flavor in there. - Yeah. 389 00:14:30,584 --> 00:14:32,722 - Mm. - Okay, I love you. 390 00:14:32,757 --> 00:14:34,550 Get the fuck out. I want to fuck my husband. 391 00:14:34,584 --> 00:14:35,860 - Mwah. - Merry Christmas. 392 00:14:35,895 --> 00:14:36,998 - Merry Christmas. - Bye. 393 00:14:37,033 --> 00:14:38,343 - See you. - See you. 394 00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:39,457 - See ya, bud. - All right. We're going. 395 00:14:39,481 --> 00:14:40,377 - Goodbye. - See ya. 396 00:14:40,412 --> 00:14:43,965 ♪ Oh, she's whispering in my head ♪ 397 00:14:43,999 --> 00:14:45,930 Fucking hate you guys! 398 00:14:45,965 --> 00:14:47,861 ♪ I'm half deaf for you 399 00:14:47,896 --> 00:14:50,861 I'm stealing your candy. Thank you. 400 00:14:50,896 --> 00:14:52,861 - Come on, let's go. - Ugh! 401 00:14:52,896 --> 00:14:54,413 Let's fucking go. 402 00:14:54,447 --> 00:14:55,827 - God! - Come on! 403 00:14:55,861 --> 00:14:57,930 Coming. I'm coming. 404 00:14:57,965 --> 00:15:02,276 Santa: Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas. 405 00:15:07,586 --> 00:15:09,793 Sowell robotic products' new animatronic 406 00:15:09,828 --> 00:15:11,828 state of the art Santa claus featured at our own 407 00:15:11,862 --> 00:15:13,976 t.w. Bonkers is now the subject of an international recall. 408 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,838 There have been reports that some of the Santa units 409 00:15:15,862 --> 00:15:18,207 are reverting to their old defense department firmware. 410 00:15:18,241 --> 00:15:20,862 Thus far, most of the reports have been of harmless pranks. 411 00:15:20,897 --> 00:15:23,656 Fuck no! 412 00:15:23,691 --> 00:15:25,242 Larry, can you turn that shit off? 413 00:15:25,277 --> 00:15:26,725 - That's so depressing. - Yeah. 414 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,208 You guys want one more 415 00:15:28,242 --> 00:15:29,346 to close it out? 416 00:15:29,380 --> 00:15:30,863 Yeah, we will. 417 00:15:30,898 --> 00:15:32,736 Can we get another round and a shot of whiskey, please? 418 00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:34,667 You're going to chase a shot of whiskey with more whiskey? 419 00:15:34,691 --> 00:15:36,656 I am. It's a holiday. That's what you do. 420 00:15:36,691 --> 00:15:38,553 - This is true. - Thank you. 421 00:15:38,587 --> 00:15:41,347 Is this, uh, together? Or separate? 422 00:15:41,381 --> 00:15:43,830 Togeth... together. 423 00:15:43,864 --> 00:15:45,312 It's on one bill. I got it. 424 00:15:45,347 --> 00:15:46,875 - Oh, la di da. - It's part of your bonus. 425 00:15:46,899 --> 00:15:49,519 Although I am a little disappointed. 426 00:15:49,554 --> 00:15:51,830 He didn't even offer to pay for the fuckin' last... 427 00:15:51,864 --> 00:15:53,485 Excuse me, this is not a date, remember? 428 00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:55,657 Yeah, no, I fuckin' remember now. 429 00:15:55,692 --> 00:15:57,209 Happy I didn't think otherwise. 430 00:15:57,243 --> 00:15:58,312 -Fun hangout -yeah. 431 00:15:58,347 --> 00:15:59,762 Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. 432 00:15:59,796 --> 00:16:02,279 You think would have picked up the tab for, uh, 433 00:16:02,313 --> 00:16:05,279 doctor fuckin' Emmett eyeliner. 434 00:16:05,313 --> 00:16:06,865 Depends on how the night went. 435 00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:09,014 Probably would have forgotten his wallet or something. 436 00:16:09,038 --> 00:16:11,831 Mnh-mnh. Did this dude fuck your mom or something? 437 00:16:11,865 --> 00:16:14,486 Why the fuck... every single time you talk about him, 438 00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:16,003 I'm like so close to forgetting him, 439 00:16:16,038 --> 00:16:17,451 and then you bring him up again. 440 00:16:17,486 --> 00:16:18,946 I'm just like, just like, it baffles me 441 00:16:18,970 --> 00:16:20,394 that you were going to let him, like, you know, 442 00:16:20,418 --> 00:16:21,842 - stick his penis just... - Taint me? 443 00:16:21,866 --> 00:16:23,394 - Inside you. - He's gonna fuckin' taint me? 444 00:16:23,418 --> 00:16:24,773 - He was gonna taint you. - Yeah, I'm horny, 445 00:16:24,797 --> 00:16:26,557 and it's a holiday. What am I supposed to do? 446 00:16:26,590 --> 00:16:29,004 Do you want to go through... Larry, do you want to go through 447 00:16:29,039 --> 00:16:30,694 Robbie's list of prize catches? 448 00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:32,245 - Not again. - 'Cause fuckin'... 449 00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:33,773 No, remember this? Remember rotten Rebecca? 450 00:16:33,797 --> 00:16:35,256 The one that smelled like a fucking fish market. 451 00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:36,970 - Oh, god. - She was great. 452 00:16:37,004 --> 00:16:38,533 Yeah, had to walk out of the room every time... 453 00:16:38,557 --> 00:16:40,281 - Rotten Rebecca. - Every time she fucking 454 00:16:40,315 --> 00:16:41,350 walked in one. 455 00:16:41,384 --> 00:16:42,695 Oh, my god. 456 00:16:42,729 --> 00:16:44,350 That honestly made me want to throw up. 457 00:16:44,384 --> 00:16:45,488 That was so gross. 458 00:16:45,522 --> 00:16:46,660 Who else? Come on. 459 00:16:46,695 --> 00:16:48,281 Do you want to talk about Tina? 460 00:16:48,315 --> 00:16:50,798 - Tina? - Googly eyed Tina? 461 00:16:50,833 --> 00:16:52,533 Do you want me to keep going? That's my point. 462 00:16:52,557 --> 00:16:54,016 - That was a condition. - Do you want me to keep going? 463 00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:55,729 - She couldn't help it. - Okay. 464 00:16:55,764 --> 00:16:58,282 - She's a beautiful woman. - Can you shut the fuck up? 465 00:16:58,316 --> 00:16:59,499 Jay: Okay, babe, no, seriously. 466 00:16:59,523 --> 00:17:01,351 He's been her employee for years. 467 00:17:01,385 --> 00:17:03,282 One, I think it's illegal if they fuck. 468 00:17:03,316 --> 00:17:05,903 And two, he'll never close the deal. 469 00:17:08,765 --> 00:17:10,937 Lahna: She had that glow in her eyes. 470 00:17:10,972 --> 00:17:12,913 Jay: Okay, okay, fine. No, she fucking might have. 471 00:17:12,937 --> 00:17:14,396 But he won't even come close to closing the deal. 472 00:17:14,420 --> 00:17:15,800 - What? - Not at all. 473 00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:18,662 Lahna: 1,000 percent they're fucking tonight. 474 00:17:18,697 --> 00:17:21,317 - Fuck that. - Unless Robbie's dick 475 00:17:21,352 --> 00:17:24,697 gets chopped up, they're gonna fuck tonight. 476 00:17:24,731 --> 00:17:27,007 Jay: What are you fuck... Fuck that. Okay. All right. 477 00:17:27,042 --> 00:17:28,593 - You want him bet? - Yeah. 478 00:17:29,869 --> 00:17:31,421 Jay: Okay, great, great, great, great. 479 00:17:31,455 --> 00:17:32,707 Alright, how much you fucking want to bet then? 480 00:17:32,731 --> 00:17:33,983 Are you ever going to settle down, 481 00:17:34,007 --> 00:17:35,698 you know, chill the fuck out. 482 00:17:35,732 --> 00:17:36,698 Are you? 483 00:17:36,732 --> 00:17:38,318 - Yeah. - Yeah? 484 00:17:38,353 --> 00:17:39,974 - Hopefully. - Oh, okay, great. 485 00:17:40,008 --> 00:17:41,846 Well, maybe I'll fucking settle down when I can find a man 486 00:17:41,870 --> 00:17:43,422 that can keep up with me. 487 00:17:43,456 --> 00:17:45,387 Do you know how hard it is being in a world 488 00:17:45,422 --> 00:17:48,870 surrounded by so many boys that can't handle a woman 489 00:17:48,905 --> 00:17:51,215 who can out drink, out earn and out fuck them, 490 00:17:51,249 --> 00:17:52,456 for the love of god? 491 00:17:52,491 --> 00:17:55,319 Do you know how many men cannot fuck? 492 00:17:55,354 --> 00:17:57,250 - There's a few. - No. 493 00:17:57,285 --> 00:17:58,664 - And some can. - None of them know 494 00:17:58,699 --> 00:18:00,261 how to eat pussy. I'll tell you that right now. 495 00:18:00,285 --> 00:18:01,561 - See, I beg to differ. - No. 496 00:18:01,595 --> 00:18:03,388 In fact, I would argue there are one, 497 00:18:03,423 --> 00:18:05,250 maybe two people in this general vicinity 498 00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:07,906 who can do it with the ferocity of a fucking tyrannosaurus 499 00:18:07,940 --> 00:18:11,216 no, no. 500 00:18:11,250 --> 00:18:12,906 - Larry. - Larry. 501 00:18:12,941 --> 00:18:14,872 Can you please, for the love of god, 502 00:18:14,907 --> 00:18:16,803 give me one more round. 503 00:18:16,838 --> 00:18:18,469 Lahna: I'll be you 504 00:18:18,493 --> 00:18:23,803 that if they fuck, I'll make you a steak dinner. 505 00:18:23,838 --> 00:18:25,458 - Really? - Yeah. 506 00:18:25,493 --> 00:18:28,596 Wearing nothing but an apron. 507 00:18:31,631 --> 00:18:33,321 Jay: If I lose? 508 00:18:33,356 --> 00:18:36,321 Lahna: Oh, when you lose, 509 00:18:36,356 --> 00:18:38,977 you have to eat my ass out on this throne. 510 00:18:39,011 --> 00:18:41,356 Jay: Well, why wait? Why don't I eat it fuckin' right now? 511 00:18:41,390 --> 00:18:42,839 Daddy's hungry. 512 00:18:42,873 --> 00:18:45,218 Ah! Daddy! 513 00:18:45,252 --> 00:18:47,735 Oh! 514 00:18:47,770 --> 00:18:49,977 I can trace it back every fucking time. 515 00:18:50,011 --> 00:18:53,219 The second they cut their hair, they cut their worst record! 516 00:18:53,253 --> 00:18:56,288 Ah, it's just such an absurd claim. 517 00:18:56,322 --> 00:18:59,702 It isn't... it's a fucking absurdly correct claim. 518 00:18:59,736 --> 00:19:02,012 Is what it is. Okay? 519 00:19:02,047 --> 00:19:03,943 Do you remember that fucking study I showed you? 520 00:19:03,978 --> 00:19:06,564 - Oh, yeah. The scientist one. - Yes, the fuckin' scientist one. 521 00:19:06,598 --> 00:19:09,219 The second that they cut the hair of 522 00:19:09,253 --> 00:19:11,565 a native American person, they lost, like, 523 00:19:11,599 --> 00:19:13,358 - all sense of intuition. - Okay. 524 00:19:13,392 --> 00:19:14,817 - Like fucking all of it. - First off. 525 00:19:14,841 --> 00:19:16,668 - And it's really scary. - First off. 526 00:19:16,703 --> 00:19:19,496 Whatever bullshit fucking blog you pulled that study off... 527 00:19:19,530 --> 00:19:21,220 - A government study, dude. - Government. 528 00:19:21,254 --> 00:19:22,748 Has about as much merit as the fucking Reddit thread. 529 00:19:22,772 --> 00:19:24,599 - Okay. - Second off, second off, 530 00:19:24,634 --> 00:19:27,013 that has absolutely zero fucking merit when it comes to 531 00:19:27,048 --> 00:19:29,531 talking about somebody's actual musical ability. 532 00:19:29,566 --> 00:19:31,531 Okay. I'm going to go through the fucking list. 533 00:19:31,566 --> 00:19:32,842 - Okay, do it. - Metallica. 534 00:19:32,876 --> 00:19:34,497 - Yeah? - Yeah. 535 00:19:34,531 --> 00:19:36,911 They cut their hair, the fuckers release "load." 536 00:19:36,945 --> 00:19:40,600 Yeah? Soundgarden. Cornell cuts his hair off. 537 00:19:40,635 --> 00:19:43,704 Opts for the Spencers gift tips with the frosted spikes, 538 00:19:43,738 --> 00:19:45,773 and then the motherfuckers release "superunknown"! 539 00:19:45,807 --> 00:19:48,739 - What is that?! - Boom! Boom right there, bitch! 540 00:19:48,774 --> 00:19:50,325 Voids your argument? Do you know why? 541 00:19:50,360 --> 00:19:54,015 - Why? Tell me why. - 'Cause "superunknown", 542 00:19:54,050 --> 00:19:55,670 - peak soundgarden. - Oh, fuckin'... 543 00:19:55,705 --> 00:19:57,853 - Are you kidding me? - Not one bad track on the album. 544 00:19:57,877 --> 00:19:59,577 Tori: Are you actually going to stop with the fucking 545 00:19:59,601 --> 00:20:01,256 Jesus Christ pose right now? 546 00:20:01,291 --> 00:20:02,843 What the fuck?! Are you serious?! 547 00:20:02,877 --> 00:20:04,912 Are you fuckin'... 548 00:20:04,946 --> 00:20:07,291 Are you fucking kidding me? 549 00:20:07,325 --> 00:20:10,568 That's so fuckin' dumb, so fuckin' dumb. 550 00:20:10,602 --> 00:20:12,223 Let me guess. 551 00:20:12,257 --> 00:20:14,533 You prefer you prefer, uh, you prefer Van hagar? 552 00:20:14,568 --> 00:20:18,602 "Prefer" is a strong word. They lost zero appeal 553 00:20:18,637 --> 00:20:20,016 when diamond Dave ducked out. 554 00:20:20,051 --> 00:20:22,637 - Oh! Really? - Yes, really. 555 00:20:22,671 --> 00:20:25,326 Because it's around that time that they got 556 00:20:25,361 --> 00:20:27,948 rid of their guitar god, and then replaced him 557 00:20:27,983 --> 00:20:31,017 with a synth loving clone of said guitar god. 558 00:20:31,052 --> 00:20:33,327 Alright, get your ass off the bar, Robbie. 559 00:20:33,362 --> 00:20:34,983 - Oh. - Hate to break up the party. 560 00:20:35,017 --> 00:20:36,983 I got four little diaper pissers at home. 561 00:20:37,017 --> 00:20:38,855 They're going to wake me up in four hours. Let's... 562 00:20:38,879 --> 00:20:40,569 Yes, thank you. 563 00:20:40,603 --> 00:20:42,707 I don't want to listen to this fucking guy anyway. 564 00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:44,500 - Sweet baby. Jesus. - Mm, got my card. 565 00:20:44,534 --> 00:20:47,604 Slow your roll, Larry. Got two more coming my way. 566 00:20:47,639 --> 00:20:50,225 - I'll pour you one. - Hands behind your back. 567 00:20:50,259 --> 00:20:52,673 - Hands behind my back? - You're lucky like you. 568 00:20:52,708 --> 00:20:54,811 Yeah, and you're lucky I don't have health inspector 569 00:20:54,846 --> 00:20:55,880 shut this shit hole down. 570 00:20:57,915 --> 00:20:58,984 He's right. 571 00:20:59,018 --> 00:21:00,604 Is he right? 572 00:21:00,639 --> 00:21:04,639 - And pour Tori and her new Beau. - Oh, thanks, man. 573 00:21:04,673 --> 00:21:08,295 One and one for yourself, Larry. 574 00:21:08,329 --> 00:21:10,605 I didn't know you two were a thing. 575 00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:11,743 - We're not. - Yet. 576 00:21:11,778 --> 00:21:13,812 Get fucked. 577 00:21:17,778 --> 00:21:19,605 Lahna: Ah, yeah! 578 00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:48,228 Monroe: The wife's back is with her family. 579 00:21:52,262 --> 00:21:56,262 So that's why I'm spending Christmas alone. 580 00:21:56,297 --> 00:21:58,607 Unless you count that fucking mutt 581 00:21:58,642 --> 00:21:59,987 that won't keep its trap shut. 582 00:22:00,021 --> 00:22:01,711 Why do you have a fucking dog then, man? 583 00:22:01,745 --> 00:22:03,677 You think I wanted that thing? 584 00:22:03,712 --> 00:22:06,470 - That's all Donna. - Okay. 585 00:22:06,505 --> 00:22:08,953 That little son of a whore is like an angel around her. 586 00:22:08,988 --> 00:22:12,022 But with me, just me, it won't shut the fuck up 587 00:22:12,057 --> 00:22:14,574 because I won't spoil him, like Donna does. 588 00:22:14,608 --> 00:22:16,263 Just like with her old man. 589 00:22:16,298 --> 00:22:18,308 Yeah, I think... I think it sounds like the dog just 590 00:22:18,332 --> 00:22:20,712 probably needs, like, some lovin' from daddy Monroe. 591 00:22:20,746 --> 00:22:22,678 - Like. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 592 00:22:22,713 --> 00:22:25,644 I think the little bastard needs his balls clipped. 593 00:22:25,678 --> 00:22:27,609 - Hey, man. - Sure. 594 00:22:27,644 --> 00:22:29,368 Donna had me get my balls clipped 595 00:22:29,402 --> 00:22:33,299 - two days after Henry was born. - Jesus fucking Christ. 596 00:22:33,333 --> 00:22:38,402 You're gonna wake up a sleeping, junior. 597 00:22:38,437 --> 00:22:41,403 Well, uh, here, let's have a toast. 598 00:22:41,438 --> 00:22:43,921 I think you've had enough there, supercuts. 599 00:22:43,955 --> 00:22:45,645 Cheers. 600 00:22:45,679 --> 00:22:48,921 Cheers. 601 00:22:50,714 --> 00:22:54,403 Here, let me, uh, cover what these kids are drinking. 602 00:22:54,438 --> 00:22:57,576 - Oh, no, no, that's... - No, hey, hey, hey, hey. 603 00:22:57,610 --> 00:22:58,990 - You... - Thank you, chief. 604 00:22:59,024 --> 00:23:02,680 - Keep the rest for yourself. - Thank you. 605 00:23:02,715 --> 00:23:04,956 Monroe: Watch yourself with that one. 606 00:23:04,991 --> 00:23:06,439 Merry Christmas, sheriff. 607 00:23:06,473 --> 00:23:08,680 Shit, that little punk motherfucker, 608 00:23:08,715 --> 00:23:10,611 wipe that smirk off... 609 00:23:10,646 --> 00:23:13,542 Mm. That sucked the fucking Christmas early. 610 00:23:13,577 --> 00:23:16,266 Robbie: God damn, what a sad fuckin' human being. 611 00:23:16,301 --> 00:23:19,405 Larry: You gonna be good to drive? 612 00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:20,957 Uh, no. 613 00:23:20,992 --> 00:23:23,405 I drove with Robbie... I fuckin' walked with Robbie. 614 00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:24,854 If I drove you, you'd be fucked. 615 00:23:24,888 --> 00:23:26,657 So much for drinking every guy under the table. 616 00:23:26,681 --> 00:23:30,716 Excuse me. You've got, like, at least five pounds on me. 617 00:23:30,750 --> 00:23:32,302 Soaking wet maybe. 618 00:23:32,336 --> 00:23:33,588 Larry: Get her home safe. Robbie. 619 00:23:33,612 --> 00:23:35,233 What the fuck's that's supposed to mean? 620 00:23:35,267 --> 00:23:37,267 - It's a big world out there. - You get home safe. 621 00:23:37,302 --> 00:23:39,406 Better watch for your children. 622 00:23:40,855 --> 00:23:42,717 - I'm just kidding. - Sounded so threatening. 623 00:23:42,751 --> 00:23:45,200 - Good night. - Thank you, Larry. 624 00:23:47,751 --> 00:23:50,027 - Ugh. - Come on. 625 00:23:53,062 --> 00:23:54,510 Lahna: Yes! 626 00:23:55,751 --> 00:23:56,994 Jay: Oh, shit. 627 00:23:57,028 --> 00:23:58,752 Lahna: Not yet. 628 00:23:58,787 --> 00:24:00,304 Jay: It's coming early. 629 00:24:00,338 --> 00:24:01,304 Lahna: Hold it. No, baby, hold it. 630 00:24:01,338 --> 00:24:03,338 Hold it! You better not! 631 00:24:03,373 --> 00:24:04,718 Fuck! You better not! 632 00:24:04,752 --> 00:24:06,614 Ah! 633 00:24:08,269 --> 00:24:10,442 Like, what did he arrest you for? 634 00:24:10,476 --> 00:24:12,683 It was fucking... You were like... 635 00:24:12,718 --> 00:24:14,511 You were like pissing on a playground. 636 00:24:14,545 --> 00:24:16,419 I didn't know the kid was going to show up like that. 637 00:24:16,443 --> 00:24:18,236 Oh, fuck, and the kid was his grandson. 638 00:24:18,270 --> 00:24:19,615 Yeah, I made him a man. 639 00:24:19,650 --> 00:24:21,246 That's fucked. You took that away from him. 640 00:24:21,270 --> 00:24:22,822 - I know. - You took it away him. 641 00:24:41,409 --> 00:24:44,513 Somebody help! 642 00:24:44,547 --> 00:24:45,868 Do you want to keep drinking, or...? 643 00:24:45,892 --> 00:24:48,996 I mean, yeah. What are you thinking? 644 00:24:49,030 --> 00:24:50,754 - What am I thinking? - Yeah. 645 00:25:07,652 --> 00:25:10,410 You can come over and kill that bottle with me. 646 00:25:10,445 --> 00:25:11,790 - Really? - Yeah. 647 00:25:11,824 --> 00:25:13,272 - Are you sure? - Yeah. 648 00:25:13,307 --> 00:25:15,239 Come kill the fucking bottle. 649 00:25:15,273 --> 00:25:17,515 I said come over for a drink, not over for a fuck. 650 00:25:22,687 --> 00:25:25,167 Well, it sounds like someone's hankering for a little bit of... 651 00:25:28,756 --> 00:25:30,825 - You hear that? - Hear what? 652 00:25:41,068 --> 00:25:42,447 Yeah, dawg! 653 00:25:42,481 --> 00:25:44,688 Jay hitting that pipe. 654 00:25:44,723 --> 00:25:46,044 Yeah, he's hitting that fucking pipe. 655 00:25:46,068 --> 00:25:47,481 Speaking of, have you seen it? 656 00:25:47,516 --> 00:25:49,343 Yeah, it's fucking fat as fuck. 657 00:25:49,378 --> 00:25:51,378 - It's fat. - Oh, he be gaping that shit 658 00:25:51,412 --> 00:25:53,000 for sure. 659 00:26:05,586 --> 00:26:07,310 How old are you, fuckin' 12? 660 00:26:07,344 --> 00:26:08,803 I can see you smoking that blunt from here! 661 00:26:08,827 --> 00:26:11,001 - I didn't fuckin' ask... - I said give it to me! 662 00:26:11,035 --> 00:26:13,690 I need to salvage this Lincoln log... 663 00:26:13,725 --> 00:26:16,035 - No! - Before you run it into 664 00:26:16,070 --> 00:26:17,587 the fuckin' ground. 665 00:26:20,725 --> 00:26:23,311 Yeah, I want to fuckin' salvage this thing. 666 00:26:23,345 --> 00:26:24,908 What are we watching when we get to yours, 667 00:26:24,932 --> 00:26:26,621 "a Christmas story"? 668 00:26:26,656 --> 00:26:28,425 What is your fucking obsession with "a Christmas story"? 669 00:26:28,449 --> 00:26:29,805 What's your issue with "a Christmas story"? 670 00:26:29,829 --> 00:26:31,357 You're the one that brought it up earlier. 671 00:26:31,381 --> 00:26:32,829 Everyone's obsessed with it. 672 00:26:32,864 --> 00:26:34,460 If you want to watch a Bob Clark Christmas movie 673 00:26:34,484 --> 00:26:36,967 will watch fucking "black Christmas." 674 00:26:37,002 --> 00:26:39,484 Oh, that... That blumhouse joint? 675 00:26:39,519 --> 00:26:41,967 I'm just going to drive myself home. 676 00:26:42,002 --> 00:26:43,805 No, no, no. You said we were going to my car... 677 00:26:43,829 --> 00:26:45,967 If you want to go home and fucking jerk off 678 00:26:46,002 --> 00:26:48,495 - to fucking blumhouse movies... - Get your fuckin' ass over here. 679 00:26:48,519 --> 00:26:50,565 Okay, but are you done spewing garbage out of your fuckin' 680 00:26:50,589 --> 00:26:51,934 - whore mouth? - Oh, there it is. 681 00:26:51,968 --> 00:26:53,761 There's your fuckin' Rhode Island accent. 682 00:26:53,796 --> 00:26:56,003 I maybe sound like I'm from Rhode Island, 683 00:26:56,037 --> 00:26:58,727 but at least I don't have shit taste in movies, 684 00:26:58,761 --> 00:27:03,278 shit opinions on everything, and drive a fucking shit car. 685 00:27:03,313 --> 00:27:04,772 Robbie: Uh, excuse me, this is basically 686 00:27:04,796 --> 00:27:06,244 the same as your fucking car. 687 00:27:06,278 --> 00:27:07,427 Don't say that about her. She's beautiful. 688 00:27:07,451 --> 00:27:09,004 - Also... - I get her first. 689 00:27:09,038 --> 00:27:10,704 Robbie: My lady. My lady. You got to get in on this side. 690 00:27:10,728 --> 00:27:12,486 You haven't got this fucking car fixed yet? 691 00:27:12,521 --> 00:27:13,866 Robbie: With what you pay me, 692 00:27:13,900 --> 00:27:16,383 you think I can afford a fucking door? 693 00:27:16,417 --> 00:27:18,245 What are you doing with your paychecks? 694 00:27:18,279 --> 00:27:19,738 - This is... - My minimum, my minimum... 695 00:27:19,762 --> 00:27:21,245 That's embarrassing. 696 00:27:21,279 --> 00:27:22,600 Robbie: My minimum fucking wage paycheck. 697 00:27:22,624 --> 00:27:24,014 Yeah, your minimum fucking wage paycheck. 698 00:27:24,038 --> 00:27:25,314 - Get it. - That should be 699 00:27:25,348 --> 00:27:27,280 - a fucking priority. - Please. 700 00:27:27,315 --> 00:27:28,763 - Wow. - Lady. 701 00:27:28,798 --> 00:27:31,315 No, I changed my fucking mind. I changed my mind. 702 00:27:31,349 --> 00:27:32,877 Hop in, hot shot. We got fucking whiskey waiting. 703 00:27:32,901 --> 00:27:34,453 - Get in. - Oh, whiskey you say? 704 00:27:34,487 --> 00:27:35,694 - Yes. - Okay, in that case, 705 00:27:35,729 --> 00:27:37,556 - shut your fucking mouth. - Oh, this mouth. 706 00:27:37,591 --> 00:27:39,798 This fucking whore mouth and that devil's tongue, baby. 707 00:27:39,832 --> 00:27:43,522 - Ew, shut the... Robbie. - Come on, what? 708 00:27:43,556 --> 00:27:44,981 - This is a... - Get your fuckin' ass in. 709 00:27:45,005 --> 00:27:47,040 Don't touch my fuckin' ass. 710 00:27:47,075 --> 00:27:48,868 She got a bit of a fight in her. All right. 711 00:27:48,902 --> 00:27:52,316 - Call fucking H.R. - I'll give you space. 712 00:27:52,350 --> 00:27:53,868 No wonder you don't get fuckin' laid. 713 00:27:55,626 --> 00:27:57,971 - Look at this. - What? 714 00:27:58,006 --> 00:27:59,557 No wonder you don't get fucking laid. 715 00:27:59,592 --> 00:28:01,695 - This is disgusting. - It adds to the flavor. 716 00:28:01,730 --> 00:28:04,971 Adds to the flavor of what? A fucking chicken Coop. 717 00:28:05,006 --> 00:28:07,696 This is fucked up. 718 00:28:07,731 --> 00:28:09,845 Some empty cans and bottles. That's Tori tooms' break? 719 00:28:09,869 --> 00:28:11,731 No, but it's the nail in the fucking coffin 720 00:28:11,765 --> 00:28:13,489 because this is really bad. 721 00:28:13,524 --> 00:28:15,696 - Come on, baby. - How do you live like this? 722 00:28:15,731 --> 00:28:17,593 - Let's cowboy up. - Just take my car. 723 00:28:17,627 --> 00:28:20,351 Just take my fucking card. 724 00:28:20,386 --> 00:28:22,317 You just got to be patient with her. 725 00:28:22,351 --> 00:28:24,939 I'm gonna lose my buzz. 726 00:28:28,042 --> 00:28:29,835 - Hey! - Oh, god. 727 00:28:29,870 --> 00:28:32,766 - Jesus. - Feel that between my pants. 728 00:28:32,801 --> 00:28:34,880 We're going to have to roll this up the hill ourselves. 729 00:28:34,904 --> 00:28:37,490 - Alright. - Whoa. Jesus fucking Christ. 730 00:28:37,525 --> 00:28:39,801 I don't feel safe. What are you... okay. 731 00:28:39,835 --> 00:28:41,732 She's road worthy. Don't even worry about it. 732 00:28:41,766 --> 00:28:45,009 Tori: Okay! Here we go. 733 00:29:08,803 --> 00:29:11,803 Oh, if this guy parks his fucking ranchero here 734 00:29:11,837 --> 00:29:13,561 one more time, I'm going to total it, 735 00:29:13,596 --> 00:29:15,561 smash out his fucking windows. 736 00:29:15,596 --> 00:29:17,423 Robbie: Little harsh to the griswolds. 737 00:29:17,458 --> 00:29:19,055 Tori: No, it's boozin' Benny down at the bottom of the hill. 738 00:29:19,079 --> 00:29:21,010 - He's a fucking alcoholic. - Boozin' Benny. 739 00:29:21,044 --> 00:29:22,700 Tori: Just pull up behind my sister's car. 740 00:29:22,735 --> 00:29:24,321 Robbie: Wait. Your sister is here? 741 00:29:24,355 --> 00:29:25,883 Tori: Do you not listen to a fucking thing I say? 742 00:29:25,907 --> 00:29:27,780 Robbie: Well, I mean, I listen, but I don't retain. 743 00:29:27,804 --> 00:29:29,804 Tori: Yeah, well, I don't want to retain the stink 744 00:29:29,838 --> 00:29:31,976 from this fucking chicken Coop, so get out. 745 00:29:32,011 --> 00:29:33,666 Come on, let's go drink. 746 00:29:33,700 --> 00:29:36,390 - Beautiful. - Oh, Jesus. 747 00:29:36,424 --> 00:29:38,597 - All right, my lady. - Listen, I really can't... 748 00:29:38,631 --> 00:29:40,804 Please exit your chariot. 749 00:29:40,838 --> 00:29:42,701 I honestly... i'm... whoa. 750 00:29:42,736 --> 00:29:44,667 I'm too drunk for this. Jesus. 751 00:29:44,701 --> 00:29:46,839 Walk carefully, please. Thank you. 752 00:29:46,874 --> 00:29:49,874 And treat her with respect and dignity. 753 00:29:55,701 --> 00:29:57,460 Uh, welcome to my humble abode. 754 00:29:57,494 --> 00:29:59,046 Yeah, it's cute. It's uh... 755 00:29:59,081 --> 00:30:01,530 Charming, classy, cute. I know. 756 00:30:01,564 --> 00:30:03,047 - Yeah, sure. - Extravagant. 757 00:30:03,082 --> 00:30:04,668 - Rustic. - Yeah. 758 00:30:04,702 --> 00:30:07,254 Humble. Barn-like. 759 00:30:07,288 --> 00:30:09,737 I really hope we don't take my sister out because 760 00:30:09,771 --> 00:30:12,599 I don't want to have to awkwardly introduce you. 761 00:30:12,633 --> 00:30:15,702 Wait, so are we drinking alone tonight, or what? 762 00:30:15,737 --> 00:30:17,702 Robbie, do not fucking listen to me? 763 00:30:17,737 --> 00:30:19,013 They're out cold. 764 00:30:19,047 --> 00:30:20,738 Out cold already? It's not even midnight. 765 00:30:20,772 --> 00:30:22,990 Plus, my lame ass brother in law doesn't even drink, so... 766 00:30:23,014 --> 00:30:26,772 Oh, that fucking cunt Mike. Yeah? 767 00:30:26,807 --> 00:30:29,427 Mr. Hollywood? Yeah. 768 00:30:33,048 --> 00:30:37,358 These goddamn neighbors and their fucking obnoxious lights. 769 00:30:37,393 --> 00:30:39,842 Hey, Tori. 770 00:30:39,877 --> 00:30:42,842 How much music was there in "unsolved mysteries"? 771 00:30:42,877 --> 00:30:44,773 - What? - I mean, like, I don't... 772 00:30:44,808 --> 00:30:46,542 I don't want to... I don't want to scare you, 773 00:30:46,566 --> 00:30:49,428 like, in your own home, but there's like six hours 774 00:30:49,463 --> 00:30:51,060 worth of the "unsolved mysteries" soundtrack? 775 00:30:51,084 --> 00:30:54,256 What the fuck is your problem with "unsolved mysteries"? 776 00:30:54,290 --> 00:30:56,359 I mean, like, 30 second intro, and then, like, 777 00:30:56,394 --> 00:30:57,843 do you need six hours? 778 00:30:57,878 --> 00:30:59,671 Tori: Have you heard it? 779 00:30:59,705 --> 00:31:02,809 No, not the entire fucking expanse of isolated soundtrack. 780 00:31:02,843 --> 00:31:05,705 Oh, well, it is the fucking creepiest goddamn synth pads 781 00:31:05,740 --> 00:31:08,326 you will ever hear in your fucking life. 782 00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:10,257 - Mm-hmm. Right. - They're amazing. Put it on. 783 00:31:10,291 --> 00:31:12,267 Yeah, okay. No, I've already got something queued up. 784 00:31:12,291 --> 00:31:13,819 No, put it on. I want you to get like soaked up and like 785 00:31:13,843 --> 00:31:15,026 - immersed in it. - No, no, no, I'm good. 786 00:31:15,050 --> 00:31:16,810 - I'm good. - It's so good. Please. 787 00:31:16,844 --> 00:31:18,648 Robbie. All right, fine. At least I know it won't be "load." 788 00:31:18,672 --> 00:31:21,568 - Oh, I know. I already looked. - Oh, did you? 789 00:31:21,603 --> 00:31:25,258 Of course. Oh, come on, Robbie. 790 00:31:25,292 --> 00:31:28,327 "Rhythms from a cosmic sky" is, like, at least four times... 791 00:31:28,361 --> 00:31:29,913 Oh, you're the worst fuckin' opinion. 792 00:31:29,948 --> 00:31:31,958 No, everybody knows that. What are you talking about? 793 00:31:31,982 --> 00:31:33,775 Uh, it's in your collection. 794 00:31:33,810 --> 00:31:34,958 Yeah, because I'm a completist. Thank you. 795 00:31:34,982 --> 00:31:37,362 - Not for metallica. - Shut up. 796 00:31:37,397 --> 00:31:40,845 Follow... get that fucking thing away from me. 797 00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:43,569 Okay. 798 00:31:43,604 --> 00:31:45,914 I'm weirdly turned on by this. 799 00:31:45,949 --> 00:31:48,018 - Really? - But I need you to stop. 800 00:32:05,329 --> 00:32:08,570 Man: Hey, Freddy. Buddy, let's not open gifts. 801 00:32:10,329 --> 00:32:11,743 There's absolutely no fucking way 802 00:32:11,777 --> 00:32:13,029 that you actually think that "pet sematary 2" 803 00:32:13,053 --> 00:32:14,744 is better than the fucking first one! 804 00:32:14,778 --> 00:32:17,399 It's twice is good, if not fucking three times, okay? 805 00:32:17,433 --> 00:32:20,882 It's good. Not better. Not better. No. 806 00:32:20,916 --> 00:32:23,709 Edward furlong, Clancy fucking brown. 807 00:32:23,744 --> 00:32:26,640 Who, by the way, chews up scenery like it's a piece of 808 00:32:26,675 --> 00:32:28,951 fucking gum, and that soundtrack. 809 00:32:28,985 --> 00:32:31,468 They've got 12 tracks of female fronted 810 00:32:31,502 --> 00:32:35,296 fucking aggressive as hell, early '90s grunge! 811 00:32:35,331 --> 00:32:37,066 Traci lords has three goddamn songs on the album, 812 00:32:37,090 --> 00:32:38,814 and they're fucking good, they're so good. 813 00:32:38,848 --> 00:32:41,296 So, you think it's better because Traci lords, porn star, 814 00:32:41,331 --> 00:32:45,365 fucking superstar, big titty Traci lords has, what, like, 815 00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:47,400 fuckin' two tracks on the album. 816 00:32:47,434 --> 00:32:50,607 No, three, by the way, and better story. 817 00:32:50,641 --> 00:32:53,608 Better music, obviously. Better kills. 818 00:32:53,642 --> 00:32:57,849 Better makeup, better fucking cast and... 819 00:32:57,884 --> 00:33:01,780 Lord Gwynn aside, I will say, you got me there. 820 00:33:01,815 --> 00:33:04,366 But Mary lambert, she was finally given free reign. 821 00:33:04,401 --> 00:33:05,929 - Yeah, that was a mistake. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 822 00:33:05,953 --> 00:33:07,746 - What the fuck are you doing? - What? 823 00:33:07,780 --> 00:33:10,642 What fucking neanderthal puts salsa on nachos 824 00:33:10,677 --> 00:33:12,609 - before they cook them? - Me. 825 00:33:12,643 --> 00:33:15,436 Man: Freddy, put it away and get to bed. 826 00:33:20,678 --> 00:33:22,747 - "Elm street." - Part 6, "Freddy's dead." 827 00:33:22,781 --> 00:33:24,678 - Come the fuck on. - Yeah. 828 00:33:24,712 --> 00:33:26,885 Whoa! Hellraiser? 829 00:33:26,919 --> 00:33:28,574 - "Hell on earth." - Child's play? 830 00:33:28,609 --> 00:33:30,299 - 2. - Alien? 831 00:33:30,334 --> 00:33:33,437 - "Covenant." - oh, no, no, no. 832 00:33:33,472 --> 00:33:35,851 - Yes. - Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, 833 00:33:35,886 --> 00:33:39,782 - okay, okay, okay, okay. - Okay. 834 00:33:39,817 --> 00:33:41,058 Blair witch? 835 00:33:41,093 --> 00:33:43,575 -Book of motherfucking shadows", bitch? 836 00:33:43,610 --> 00:33:45,655 It's a fucking classic, and you're going to watch it, 837 00:33:45,679 --> 00:33:48,782 and you'll... stop. You'll get it. I promise. 838 00:33:48,817 --> 00:33:50,611 Do you use your little fucking fingers, like, 839 00:33:50,645 --> 00:33:52,035 typing on the keyboard, and you're like, 840 00:33:52,059 --> 00:33:53,473 "oh, like Reddit, Reddit thread." 841 00:33:53,507 --> 00:33:54,956 -Shut the fuck up. No, no, I am like, 842 00:33:54,990 --> 00:33:56,852 I am a gal with fucking strong opinions. 843 00:33:56,887 --> 00:33:58,473 And now we're going to take a shot to 844 00:33:58,507 --> 00:33:59,656 "book of" motherfuckin' "shadows" 845 00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:01,611 because it's so good. 846 00:34:01,645 --> 00:34:03,542 Ah. 847 00:34:33,337 --> 00:34:34,854 Oh, fuck. 848 00:34:45,923 --> 00:34:47,476 Jesus. 849 00:34:57,545 --> 00:34:59,372 Man: Freddy, that better not be you. 850 00:34:59,407 --> 00:35:02,028 If you're opening those gifts, I swear to god. 851 00:35:05,717 --> 00:35:08,580 Hey, you know what happens if I come down there. 852 00:35:17,304 --> 00:35:18,718 Oh! 853 00:35:18,753 --> 00:35:20,546 Oh, my god. 854 00:35:20,580 --> 00:35:22,684 Robbie: Sorry, sorry. 855 00:35:23,511 --> 00:35:25,823 Fuck it. 856 00:35:27,340 --> 00:35:31,512 Man: Freddy? Freddy, is that you, buddy? 857 00:35:31,547 --> 00:35:33,995 Said we weren't gonna open or touch any of these gifts 858 00:35:34,030 --> 00:35:35,788 till Santa got... 859 00:35:40,340 --> 00:35:43,443 Get the fuck out of my house. I'm calling the cops right now. 860 00:35:43,478 --> 00:35:45,375 Oh, shit! 861 00:35:54,858 --> 00:35:56,720 Wait. 862 00:36:11,445 --> 00:36:13,445 Oh, king shit. 863 00:38:20,590 --> 00:38:22,556 Frankie, what was... 864 00:38:33,832 --> 00:38:35,039 Frankie! 865 00:38:39,902 --> 00:38:42,488 Oh, what the fuck? 866 00:38:44,384 --> 00:38:45,522 That was... 867 00:38:47,764 --> 00:38:49,488 Unexpected. 868 00:38:49,522 --> 00:38:51,867 Too bad find out about that earlier. 869 00:38:51,902 --> 00:38:54,247 Yeah, it's too bad. 870 00:39:06,765 --> 00:39:10,730 This thing is usda approved organic prime man meat. 871 00:39:10,765 --> 00:39:12,834 Sorry, are you asking me to peg you? 872 00:39:12,868 --> 00:39:16,007 I'm not asking. I'm inviting. 873 00:39:16,042 --> 00:39:18,490 Please, sir, may I have a hit? 874 00:39:25,352 --> 00:39:27,559 No! Pl... aah! 875 00:39:28,766 --> 00:39:31,421 Tori: I'm gonna get some more whiskey, flip the record. 876 00:39:31,455 --> 00:39:33,870 Come back up. Don't fucking move. 877 00:39:41,836 --> 00:39:44,560 Boy: Mom? 878 00:39:47,112 --> 00:39:48,870 Mommy? 879 00:39:48,905 --> 00:39:50,870 You okay? 880 00:39:57,906 --> 00:40:00,009 Santa? 881 00:40:00,044 --> 00:40:01,837 Where's mommy? 882 00:40:06,319 --> 00:40:09,354 Did you bring me any good presents? 883 00:40:09,388 --> 00:40:11,009 You did! 884 00:40:50,529 --> 00:40:52,805 Oh. Fuck, fuck! 885 00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:54,978 Fuck me. 886 00:40:55,012 --> 00:40:56,771 Damn it. 887 00:40:58,426 --> 00:41:00,047 Jesus. 888 00:41:02,943 --> 00:41:04,736 That's fucked. 889 00:41:20,358 --> 00:41:23,806 Not stupid clothes again. 890 00:41:29,635 --> 00:41:31,669 Why are you so bloody? 891 00:41:32,807 --> 00:41:34,738 Mommy? 892 00:41:38,083 --> 00:41:40,290 Mom! 893 00:41:47,636 --> 00:41:49,670 - Oh, fuck! - What? 894 00:41:49,705 --> 00:41:51,050 - This guy... - Tori! 895 00:41:51,084 --> 00:41:53,360 I think he maybe just killed the kid next door. 896 00:41:53,394 --> 00:41:54,946 What the hell are you talking about? 897 00:41:54,981 --> 00:41:57,601 Oh, fuck. 898 00:42:03,015 --> 00:42:05,360 Oh, fuck! 899 00:42:05,394 --> 00:42:07,568 Call the fucking cops now. Come on. 900 00:42:07,602 --> 00:42:10,499 Fuck. Have you seen my phone? Fuck! Get my phone! 901 00:42:10,533 --> 00:42:13,051 - It's upstairs. - Shit. Is your phone down here? 902 00:42:13,085 --> 00:42:15,740 Robbie, go! Find a phone! 903 00:42:27,431 --> 00:42:29,845 Robbie? He's gone. 904 00:42:29,879 --> 00:42:31,052 Robbie: What? 905 00:42:31,086 --> 00:42:32,741 Robbie, he's fucking gone. 906 00:42:32,776 --> 00:42:34,741 He saw us. The fucker's gonna come over here. 907 00:42:34,776 --> 00:42:36,028 Find a phone and get the fuck out. 908 00:42:36,052 --> 00:42:37,810 I have to get my sister. 909 00:42:37,845 --> 00:42:40,569 Liddy, Mike, wake the fuck up. Get your asses out of bed. 910 00:42:40,603 --> 00:42:42,327 There's no time to explain. Come on, we... 911 00:42:42,362 --> 00:42:43,821 - Come on. We have to go. - What is going on? 912 00:42:43,845 --> 00:42:45,466 Uh, uh, where's your phone? 913 00:42:45,501 --> 00:42:47,570 It's up there. There weren't any outlets. 914 00:42:47,604 --> 00:42:49,328 Okay. Get out of bed. Put your shoes on. 915 00:42:49,363 --> 00:42:50,846 Put your shoes on now. Come on. 916 00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:52,742 Mike, get the fuck up. I'm trying to help you. 917 00:42:52,777 --> 00:42:54,408 - Alright, alright. - Does it look like I'm joking? 918 00:42:54,432 --> 00:42:56,397 You fucking idiot! Get out of bed! 919 00:42:58,742 --> 00:42:59,994 All right, come on, move it. You should go. 920 00:43:00,018 --> 00:43:02,294 No, you go. Mike, get the fuck out. 921 00:43:02,328 --> 00:43:03,363 - Alright. - Go! 922 00:43:03,397 --> 00:43:05,605 Fuck you, go. 923 00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:06,995 Robbie: I have no idea what the fuck my phone is. 924 00:43:07,019 --> 00:43:08,812 Shut up. Shut the fuck up. 925 00:43:14,088 --> 00:43:16,364 Where are you keys? 926 00:43:16,398 --> 00:43:17,847 I don't know. 927 00:43:17,881 --> 00:43:19,685 I must have left them in the truck or something. 928 00:43:19,709 --> 00:43:21,443 Well, if they're not in the fucking truck, where are they? 929 00:43:21,467 --> 00:43:22,986 I don't fucking know, do I? 930 00:43:23,020 --> 00:43:25,031 Liddy, do you have your keys? Your fucking keys, liddy? 931 00:43:25,055 --> 00:43:27,089 - Where are they? - Get the keys. 932 00:43:27,124 --> 00:43:28,858 The keys? What do you want with the fuckin'... 933 00:43:28,882 --> 00:43:30,468 Shut the fuck up, you cunt. 934 00:43:30,503 --> 00:43:32,330 Okay. Do you want me to get the keys or not? 935 00:43:32,365 --> 00:43:33,479 - Yes. - Fine. I'll get the keys. 936 00:43:33,503 --> 00:43:35,055 Jesus. 937 00:43:39,641 --> 00:43:41,849 Did anybody see where he went? 938 00:43:45,125 --> 00:43:46,987 Okay. 939 00:43:47,021 --> 00:43:49,504 Okay, okay, okay. 940 00:43:49,538 --> 00:43:51,331 We're going to go to the basement. 941 00:43:51,366 --> 00:43:53,101 - What if it's in the basement? - Then we don't have 942 00:43:53,125 --> 00:43:56,366 anywhere to go, do we? 943 00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:57,780 Okay, hang on. 944 00:44:01,436 --> 00:44:02,515 Mike: All right, I got the keys. 945 00:44:02,539 --> 00:44:03,919 - Shh! - Look, I didn't even 946 00:44:03,953 --> 00:44:05,401 want to come here in the first... 947 00:44:05,436 --> 00:44:07,057 Shut the fuck up, Mike. Shut the fuck up. 948 00:45:20,716 --> 00:45:22,612 Get up! 949 00:45:24,095 --> 00:45:26,095 Run! 950 00:45:26,130 --> 00:45:28,750 Get out! 951 00:45:34,716 --> 00:45:38,027 Tori: Go! Fucking! Go! 952 00:45:40,579 --> 00:45:42,027 Liddy! 953 00:45:42,062 --> 00:45:45,820 Get... fuck! Shit! 954 00:45:46,820 --> 00:45:47,993 No! 955 00:45:48,027 --> 00:45:50,682 No! Please! 956 00:45:50,717 --> 00:45:53,269 No! Please! No! 957 00:46:00,994 --> 00:46:02,856 Hey, hey, you got to get in, you got to get in, 958 00:46:02,890 --> 00:46:04,004 you got to get in, you got to get in, 959 00:46:04,028 --> 00:46:05,649 hey, she's not coming? Okay. 960 00:46:05,683 --> 00:46:07,418 - I need my sister... - Listen to me. Listen to me. 961 00:46:07,442 --> 00:46:09,314 Listen to me, listen. Okay, she's not coming, okay? 962 00:46:09,338 --> 00:46:11,073 You've got to get in the car. Okay? For me. Please. 963 00:46:11,097 --> 00:46:12,994 Please, please, please, please, please. 964 00:46:13,028 --> 00:46:14,788 Yeah, okay, come on. Yeah. 965 00:46:14,822 --> 00:46:17,512 Get up, come on. Just get in there. 966 00:46:17,546 --> 00:46:19,029 Yeah, okay, get in there. 967 00:46:19,064 --> 00:46:20,936 I need liddy here right now. 968 00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:22,064 - I need liddy here. - Hey. 969 00:46:22,098 --> 00:46:25,615 - Come on, Robbie! - Come on! 970 00:46:25,650 --> 00:46:28,650 Fuck you! Fuck! 971 00:46:30,995 --> 00:46:33,892 Go, Robbie, come on. 972 00:46:39,513 --> 00:46:41,789 Robbie! Robbie! 973 00:46:44,651 --> 00:46:48,582 - Fuck. - Oh, fuck! 974 00:46:48,616 --> 00:46:49,858 Are you all right? 975 00:46:49,892 --> 00:46:51,651 - Yeah. - Okay. Well, we got to... 976 00:46:51,685 --> 00:46:53,800 We got to go. We got to go because he's gonna come back. 977 00:46:53,824 --> 00:46:55,583 Come on! 978 00:46:55,617 --> 00:46:58,479 - Fuck! It's stuck. - Try going forward. 979 00:46:58,514 --> 00:46:59,928 Man: What the fuck?! 980 00:46:59,962 --> 00:47:02,376 - Fuck. - Oh, fuck! 981 00:47:02,410 --> 00:47:04,066 Totaled by fuckin' ranchero! 982 00:47:04,100 --> 00:47:05,548 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 983 00:47:06,617 --> 00:47:07,721 - Come on. - Fuck! 984 00:47:07,755 --> 00:47:09,376 You fucking cocksuckers! 985 00:47:09,410 --> 00:47:11,307 - Hey. - B, hey, hey. 986 00:47:11,341 --> 00:47:12,894 Get the fuck out of the car. 987 00:47:12,929 --> 00:47:15,008 Tori: I can't get out of the fucking car. Listen to me. 988 00:47:15,032 --> 00:47:17,687 What is with this door? Hey, you two bit fuckin' scumbag, 989 00:47:17,722 --> 00:47:20,308 get the fuck out of the car. Come on. 990 00:47:20,342 --> 00:47:21,860 - Oh, what the fuck? - Fuck! 991 00:47:21,894 --> 00:47:23,411 Get out of the fucking car! 992 00:47:23,446 --> 00:47:25,043 Oh, look, the paint's all fucked up, man! 993 00:47:25,067 --> 00:47:27,342 I just got this detailed! 994 00:47:27,377 --> 00:47:30,411 I'm calling the fuckin' cops on your ass, Tori. 995 00:47:30,446 --> 00:47:31,757 - Hello? - Go now. 996 00:47:31,792 --> 00:47:33,447 - 246... - Fuck. He's coming. 997 00:47:33,481 --> 00:47:34,664 He's right there! Hey! 998 00:47:34,688 --> 00:47:36,481 He can't fucking hear you because... 999 00:47:36,516 --> 00:47:38,826 - Hey, behind you! - Hey, behind you! 1000 00:47:38,861 --> 00:47:41,550 - Behind you! - No, no, no, no! 1001 00:47:41,585 --> 00:47:42,895 No! 1002 00:47:42,930 --> 00:47:45,068 Stop fucking honking! 1003 00:47:45,102 --> 00:47:46,654 Oh! 1004 00:47:48,585 --> 00:47:49,999 Okay, go. 1005 00:47:50,033 --> 00:47:52,482 Go, come on, let's go! 1006 00:47:52,517 --> 00:47:55,724 Robbie: I'm trying! 1007 00:47:56,862 --> 00:47:58,517 Oh, oh! 1008 00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:04,276 Okay, okay! Fucking drive! 1009 00:48:21,414 --> 00:48:23,380 No! No! No! 1010 00:48:24,070 --> 00:48:25,897 No! 1011 00:48:25,932 --> 00:48:29,105 Fucker! Robbie! No, fuck off! 1012 00:48:29,140 --> 00:48:30,864 Robbie! 1013 00:48:30,898 --> 00:48:34,381 No! No! Robbie! No! 1014 00:48:34,415 --> 00:48:37,036 Oh, fuck! 1015 00:48:37,071 --> 00:48:39,691 No, Robbie. You got to get up. 1016 00:48:39,726 --> 00:48:42,415 You got to get up right now. Get up right now, come on! 1017 00:48:42,450 --> 00:48:45,312 Get your ass... get your ass up, come on! 1018 00:48:45,346 --> 00:48:47,554 Get the fuck up, Robbie! 1019 00:48:47,589 --> 00:48:49,934 Somebody help us! 1020 00:48:49,968 --> 00:48:51,899 Where the fuck is everyone? 1021 00:48:51,934 --> 00:48:54,520 No! Robbie, Robbie, he's coming back. 1022 00:48:54,554 --> 00:48:56,082 Come on, get up, get up. 1023 00:48:56,106 --> 00:48:58,037 Get it here, Robbie! 1024 00:48:58,072 --> 00:49:00,106 No! Behind you! 1025 00:49:00,141 --> 00:49:02,072 Behind you! 1026 00:49:02,106 --> 00:49:03,865 No! 1027 00:49:03,899 --> 00:49:06,831 Robbie! 1028 00:49:11,486 --> 00:49:13,624 Oh, no, no, no, no, no! 1029 00:49:13,659 --> 00:49:15,486 Hide! 1030 00:49:15,521 --> 00:49:16,900 Drop the weapon! 1031 00:49:16,935 --> 00:49:18,762 Now! 1032 00:49:18,797 --> 00:49:19,969 Hey! 1033 00:49:20,004 --> 00:49:21,486 Don't come any closer! 1034 00:49:21,521 --> 00:49:22,693 Kill this motherfucker! 1035 00:49:22,728 --> 00:49:25,970 Drop the weapon now! 1036 00:49:35,005 --> 00:49:36,729 This is officer Danny Davis. 1037 00:49:36,763 --> 00:49:39,005 I got at least three people down at 246 Chestnut. 1038 00:49:39,039 --> 00:49:42,694 Send back up and an ambulance immediately. 1039 00:49:47,592 --> 00:49:49,488 It's gonna be okay. 1040 00:49:49,523 --> 00:49:50,799 Don't touch me. Don't touch me! 1041 00:49:50,833 --> 00:49:54,695 It's okay. Help is on the way. 1042 00:49:54,730 --> 00:49:56,454 Help is on the way, okay? 1043 00:49:56,488 --> 00:49:59,419 - Are you sure he's dead? - Yes. He's dead. 1044 00:49:59,454 --> 00:50:01,592 He's dead. 1045 00:50:01,626 --> 00:50:03,557 He's not getting up. 1046 00:50:05,351 --> 00:50:06,972 I got you. 1047 00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:11,489 Oh, Robbie. 1048 00:50:11,524 --> 00:50:13,593 - I got you. - Oh, Robbie. Robbie! 1049 00:50:13,627 --> 00:50:15,672 It's okay, it's okay. Don't look at him. Don't look at him. 1050 00:50:15,696 --> 00:50:19,765 Okay, stay calm. Help is on the way, alright? 1051 00:50:23,077 --> 00:50:26,766 It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be fi... watch your head. 1052 00:50:41,835 --> 00:50:43,526 Can you tell me what happened? 1053 00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:45,629 - You need to check the store. - What? 1054 00:50:45,664 --> 00:50:47,526 The toy store. You need to check the toy store. 1055 00:50:47,560 --> 00:50:49,353 Why? 1056 00:50:49,388 --> 00:50:52,457 Because that thing looks exactly like the Santa from the store. 1057 00:50:52,491 --> 00:50:54,595 You mean the t.W. Bonkers thing? 1058 00:50:54,629 --> 00:50:56,457 Yeah. 1059 00:50:56,491 --> 00:50:59,043 That fucking guy looks exactly like the thing from the store. 1060 00:50:59,078 --> 00:51:00,871 I can assure it's not on the same Santa. 1061 00:51:00,905 --> 00:51:03,010 No, no, that's... I'm saying that maybe he took 1062 00:51:03,044 --> 00:51:04,803 the fucking suit or something. 1063 00:51:04,837 --> 00:51:07,872 And my friends, my friends were staying the night there, 1064 00:51:07,906 --> 00:51:10,044 and... and maybe that fucker killed them and then took 1065 00:51:10,079 --> 00:51:11,537 the fucking suit. That's what I'm saying. 1066 00:51:11,561 --> 00:51:13,389 He didn't get that thing anywhere. 1067 00:51:13,423 --> 00:51:14,837 You need to fucking check! Okay? 1068 00:51:14,872 --> 00:51:16,537 - There's only a few of us, okay? - I don't fucking care. 1069 00:51:16,561 --> 00:51:18,803 Listen to me. No one's been fucking listening to me. 1070 00:51:18,837 --> 00:51:20,079 There's only a few of us! 1071 00:51:20,113 --> 00:51:22,080 You need to do a fucking drive by! 1072 00:51:22,114 --> 00:51:23,952 - More people are gonna die! - Once everything... 1073 00:51:23,976 --> 00:51:25,952 Once everything is all right, I can go back and do a check. 1074 00:51:25,976 --> 00:51:27,804 More people are gonna fucking die! 1075 00:51:27,838 --> 00:51:30,390 Calm down. 1076 00:51:31,424 --> 00:51:33,769 Shoot him! Fucking shoot him! 1077 00:51:42,908 --> 00:51:47,736 Blow his fucking head off, Davies, now! 1078 00:51:49,667 --> 00:51:50,874 He's done for! 1079 00:51:50,908 --> 00:51:52,839 Ah! 1080 00:51:52,874 --> 00:51:55,081 Davies? 1081 00:51:59,082 --> 00:52:02,806 Davies? Davies, get the fuck up! 1082 00:52:02,840 --> 00:52:06,737 Hey! Oh, you fuckin' idiot! Come on! 1083 00:52:06,771 --> 00:52:08,633 Get up! 1084 00:52:08,668 --> 00:52:10,530 Behind you! 1085 00:52:10,564 --> 00:52:13,495 No, no, no, no, no! 1086 00:52:44,773 --> 00:52:46,359 Ho, ho, ho! 1087 00:52:46,394 --> 00:52:48,463 Merry Christmas. 1088 00:52:56,119 --> 00:52:57,912 Okay, okay. 1089 00:52:57,947 --> 00:52:59,360 Okay, okay, okay. 1090 00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:04,912 Hello? Officer Davis was killed, okay? 1091 00:53:04,947 --> 00:53:06,705 He's fucking dead. Is anyone there? 1092 00:53:07,981 --> 00:53:09,360 Listen to me. 1093 00:53:09,395 --> 00:53:11,981 The officers going to 246 Chestnut 1094 00:53:12,016 --> 00:53:14,016 need to be fucking careful because the killer is 1095 00:53:14,050 --> 00:53:16,672 still there, and he looks like fucking Santa, okay? 1096 00:53:16,706 --> 00:53:17,879 He's in a Santa costume. 1097 00:53:17,913 --> 00:53:20,086 Fuck! 1098 00:53:20,120 --> 00:53:22,810 Oh, fuck. 1099 00:53:22,844 --> 00:53:26,017 Yes, go! 1100 00:53:27,741 --> 00:53:30,844 Hey! Hey! 1101 00:53:30,879 --> 00:53:33,534 Hey! 1102 00:53:33,568 --> 00:53:35,811 Stop, stop, stop, stop. 1103 00:53:35,845 --> 00:53:37,511 - Get on the ground! - No, I've been calling you! 1104 00:53:37,535 --> 00:53:39,811 Don't fuckin' move! On the ground! 1105 00:53:39,845 --> 00:53:41,880 - Get on the ground! - Get your hands on your head! 1106 00:53:41,914 --> 00:53:43,407 - I need your help! - Hands on your head. 1107 00:53:43,431 --> 00:53:44,890 - I need your... - Get your fucking hands 1108 00:53:44,914 --> 00:53:46,511 - on your head! - Fine, I'm fucking sorry! 1109 00:53:46,535 --> 00:53:47,994 Officer: Get your hands on your fucking head! 1110 00:53:48,018 --> 00:53:49,580 - No, no, no, I need your help. - Where's Davies? 1111 00:53:49,604 --> 00:53:51,707 I need your help. I need your fucking help, man. 1112 00:53:51,742 --> 00:53:54,467 Where is Davies? Get your hands behind your back. 1113 00:53:54,501 --> 00:53:56,122 He's dead, he's dead, he's dead. 1114 00:53:56,157 --> 00:53:58,029 - What did you just say? - He's dead. He's fuckin' dead. 1115 00:53:58,053 --> 00:53:59,477 They're all fucking dead. 1116 00:53:59,501 --> 00:54:00,719 - Bullshit! Where is he! - He's dead! 1117 00:54:00,743 --> 00:54:02,881 I've been trying to fucking tell you! 1118 00:54:02,915 --> 00:54:04,777 - What did you do? - I didn't do anything? 1119 00:54:04,812 --> 00:54:06,363 -I didn't do anything -what did you do? 1120 00:54:06,398 --> 00:54:09,467 I need your fuckin' help! I need your fuckin' help! 1121 00:54:09,501 --> 00:54:12,433 - Get up, sweetheart. Get up! - I need... ah! 1122 00:54:12,468 --> 00:54:14,744 He's still there! 1123 00:54:14,778 --> 00:54:16,468 You need help, you need help. 1124 00:54:16,502 --> 00:54:18,778 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! I call the shots! 1125 00:54:18,813 --> 00:54:20,847 - Hey, hey, hey, hey. - Weston, you get down 1126 00:54:20,882 --> 00:54:23,330 to Chestnut. I'm taking her... I'm taking you in. 1127 00:54:23,364 --> 00:54:24,720 You can't alone. You're gonna fuckin' die. 1128 00:54:24,744 --> 00:54:26,364 - Listen. - You need to call in some... 1129 00:54:26,399 --> 00:54:28,089 - Hey! - You got to fuckin listen to me. 1130 00:54:28,123 --> 00:54:30,089 You're gonna fucking die. He killed everybody. 1131 00:54:30,123 --> 00:54:34,814 - You need back up! - Get in the fuckin' car! 1132 00:54:34,848 --> 00:54:37,641 - You need back up! - Fuck! Shut the fuck up. 1133 00:54:37,676 --> 00:54:39,135 What do you want to do with Davies' car? 1134 00:54:39,159 --> 00:54:41,365 Nothing. Don't touch it. 1135 00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:42,883 Fucking crime scene. 1136 00:54:42,917 --> 00:54:44,814 I'll call and have it towed into the station. 1137 00:54:44,848 --> 00:54:46,986 Alright. Be safe. 1138 00:54:47,021 --> 00:54:49,469 Tori: I need your fucking help. 1139 00:54:49,503 --> 00:54:53,849 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Do you fucking job. 1140 00:54:53,884 --> 00:54:57,849 Shut the fuck up! 1141 00:54:59,125 --> 00:55:03,366 You can't send him there alone. 1142 00:55:03,401 --> 00:55:06,125 I don't think you're in any position to tell me what to do. 1143 00:55:06,160 --> 00:55:07,756 You know, you're in a world of hurt, lady. 1144 00:55:07,780 --> 00:55:09,504 - No fucking... - You're in a world 1145 00:55:09,539 --> 00:55:11,023 - of fucking shit. - No fucking idea! 1146 00:55:11,057 --> 00:55:12,792 We caught you covered in blood and a missing cop... 1147 00:55:12,816 --> 00:55:15,850 Man: Unit 17, Smith, you there? 1148 00:55:15,885 --> 00:55:18,505 Yeah. This is unit 17. This is Smith. Go ahead. 1149 00:55:18,540 --> 00:55:21,988 Man: This is Lenny. We just got here. 1150 00:55:22,023 --> 00:55:24,850 It's a massacre, and we haven't even been inside yet. 1151 00:55:24,885 --> 00:55:26,895 Alright, copy that. Look, don't make a move, alright? 1152 00:55:26,919 --> 00:55:30,506 Just hang back. Weston's on his way down there. 1153 00:55:30,541 --> 00:55:32,058 Any word from renn county? 1154 00:55:32,093 --> 00:55:35,610 Man: Just us right now, sir. 1155 00:55:35,644 --> 00:55:39,610 Any sign of Davies? 1156 00:55:39,644 --> 00:55:41,679 Man: He's dead, sir. 1157 00:55:41,713 --> 00:55:46,472 Fuck! Fuck! Motherfucker! 1158 00:55:48,852 --> 00:55:51,576 I just saw you at Reggie's three goddamn hours ago. 1159 00:55:51,611 --> 00:55:52,852 I don't understand. 1160 00:55:52,887 --> 00:55:54,783 What is there to fucking understand? 1161 00:55:54,818 --> 00:55:57,369 What I don't understand is the lax fucking attitude 1162 00:55:57,404 --> 00:55:58,783 when people are fucking dead. 1163 00:55:58,818 --> 00:56:00,645 Look, Tori, we know you didn't murder anyone, 1164 00:56:00,680 --> 00:56:03,714 but we're having a hard time believing what you're saying. 1165 00:56:03,749 --> 00:56:06,128 I'm having a hard time fucking believing it. Okay? 1166 00:56:06,163 --> 00:56:09,060 But I saw it. I saw it with my own goddamn eyes. 1167 00:56:09,095 --> 00:56:11,026 And my fucking eyes don't lie. Okay, Monroe? 1168 00:56:11,060 --> 00:56:13,095 Listen, I can smell the weed and whiskey on you 1169 00:56:13,129 --> 00:56:14,957 - from a mile away. - Yeah. So fucking what? 1170 00:56:14,991 --> 00:56:17,439 I smoked some weed. I had some fucking whiskey. 1171 00:56:17,474 --> 00:56:18,760 But that does not make you hallucinate. 1172 00:56:18,784 --> 00:56:20,439 I promise you. I promise you. 1173 00:56:20,474 --> 00:56:22,715 After what I saw, I'm sober. I'm sober as a fucking... 1174 00:56:22,750 --> 00:56:24,967 Oh, that's good you're sober. Well, I hate to break it to you, 1175 00:56:24,991 --> 00:56:26,647 Ms. Tooms, but it is still illegal. 1176 00:56:26,682 --> 00:56:29,475 Can you shut the fuck up? Shut the fuck up! 1177 00:56:29,509 --> 00:56:31,785 My sister is dead! 1178 00:56:31,820 --> 00:56:33,440 Okay? My fucking friends are dead. 1179 00:56:33,475 --> 00:56:34,796 Not that you give a fuck about him. 1180 00:56:34,820 --> 00:56:36,072 But what are you going to do about it? 1181 00:56:36,096 --> 00:56:37,613 - What do you... - Hey! Hey! 1182 00:56:37,647 --> 00:56:39,613 The best goddamn officer in this precinct is dead. 1183 00:56:39,647 --> 00:56:41,072 Now, if you want to be the one to tell his widow. 1184 00:56:41,096 --> 00:56:42,934 Oh, fuck. Debbie. Someone's got to tell Debbie. 1185 00:56:42,958 --> 00:56:44,785 Hey, hey, hey, Bobby. 1186 00:56:44,820 --> 00:56:46,348 We're all getting a little emotional here. 1187 00:56:46,372 --> 00:56:48,993 Just cut it. Both of yous. You, sit down. 1188 00:56:50,821 --> 00:56:53,855 Get this fucking off your fucking desk. 1189 00:56:58,786 --> 00:57:00,959 Have you heard from the boys down at the scene yet? 1190 00:57:00,993 --> 00:57:02,579 Not since renn county showed up. 1191 00:57:02,614 --> 00:57:04,891 They're still down there counting bodies. 1192 00:57:04,925 --> 00:57:07,787 Nothing about a killer Santa claus either. 1193 00:57:07,822 --> 00:57:09,580 Monroe: Well, why don't you give him a call? 1194 00:57:09,615 --> 00:57:12,822 It's been a little while now. See if they need any help. 1195 00:57:12,856 --> 00:57:14,373 I think they got it under control. 1196 00:57:14,408 --> 00:57:16,029 Double check. 1197 00:57:22,442 --> 00:57:24,650 Fuck! 1198 00:57:24,685 --> 00:57:27,857 You need to keep that asshole away from me, Monroe. 1199 00:57:27,892 --> 00:57:30,581 He's worked with Davies for over 15 years now. 1200 00:57:30,616 --> 00:57:32,857 We're tight staff. Look around. 1201 00:57:32,892 --> 00:57:35,374 It's been a rough night for all of us. 1202 00:57:35,409 --> 00:57:36,857 Bear with us. 1203 00:57:36,892 --> 00:57:39,030 We'll do the same. 1204 00:57:39,064 --> 00:57:41,099 Just breathe. 1205 00:57:48,617 --> 00:57:52,513 Okay, I'm going to brew a fresh pot of coffee. 1206 00:57:52,548 --> 00:57:53,927 There's a bathroom down the hall 1207 00:57:53,962 --> 00:57:56,307 if you want to clean yourself up some. 1208 00:58:57,896 --> 00:58:59,828 Smith: There is no fucking back up, man. 1209 00:58:59,862 --> 00:59:02,345 Monroe: Just hold on a second. Just hold on a second. 1210 00:59:02,379 --> 00:59:03,966 We got to think this out. 1211 00:59:04,000 --> 00:59:05,379 Tori: Oh, shit. 1212 00:59:05,414 --> 00:59:06,621 Have tried the guys from renn? 1213 00:59:06,655 --> 00:59:10,828 Yep, renn, paramedics, Weston. 1214 00:59:10,862 --> 00:59:11,966 Nothing. 1215 00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:13,724 Chp? Anything? 1216 00:59:13,759 --> 00:59:15,345 - Nope. - Hey. Hey. Hey. 1217 00:59:15,379 --> 00:59:16,942 - What's going on? - You coming with me or not? 1218 00:59:16,966 --> 00:59:19,449 Tori: Something happen? You guys can't go back to my house. 1219 00:59:19,484 --> 00:59:21,105 - I told you. - We're police, Tori. 1220 00:59:21,139 --> 00:59:22,898 - That's what we do. - Well, no. 1221 00:59:22,932 --> 00:59:24,632 You need to call the fucking national guard or something. 1222 00:59:24,656 --> 00:59:26,898 He wiped everybody out. He's going to wipe you out! 1223 00:59:26,932 --> 00:59:28,874 Hey, you know, Monroe, maybe you should stay here. 1224 00:59:28,898 --> 00:59:30,518 You can, baby sit the little girl. 1225 00:59:30,553 --> 00:59:31,839 Okay, you know what? If you don't want to fucking 1226 00:59:31,863 --> 00:59:33,449 listen to me, you go out there and die. 1227 00:59:33,484 --> 00:59:34,908 Because, quite frankly, I don't fucking care. 1228 00:59:34,932 --> 00:59:37,588 Tori, we're going to go, we're gonna lock the door. 1229 00:59:37,623 --> 00:59:39,830 - No, no. - Oh, oh, oh, oh. 1230 00:59:39,864 --> 00:59:41,692 What is that? 1231 00:59:41,726 --> 00:59:43,657 Yeah. What the fuck is that? 1232 00:59:47,037 --> 00:59:48,657 That an ambulance? 1233 00:59:48,692 --> 00:59:51,519 Oh, fuck. It's him. 1234 00:59:51,554 --> 00:59:53,037 Oh, Santa claus? 1235 00:59:53,071 --> 00:59:54,668 - Yeah, it's fuckin' Santa claus. - Fuckin' Santa claus! 1236 00:59:54,692 --> 00:59:57,382 It's the motherfucker that killed everybody. 1237 00:59:57,417 --> 00:59:58,969 Okay, okay, uh... 1238 00:59:59,003 --> 01:00:00,762 - Oh, fuck. - He's not stopping. 1239 01:00:00,796 --> 01:00:02,624 Fuck! 1240 01:00:14,141 --> 01:00:17,349 Fuck! Ah! 1241 01:00:17,383 --> 01:00:19,418 Monroe: Is everyone all right? 1242 01:00:19,452 --> 01:00:21,349 Yeah, I think I'm fine. 1243 01:00:21,383 --> 01:00:25,108 - Tori? - Uh, yeah. 1244 01:00:28,383 --> 01:00:32,452 Jesus Christ. What the fuck was that? 1245 01:00:32,487 --> 01:00:36,143 Hey, Tori, take these, go to the holding room, 1246 01:00:36,178 --> 01:00:37,660 lock yourself in. 1247 01:00:37,695 --> 01:00:39,695 No, no, no! There's fucking people dead. 1248 01:00:39,729 --> 01:00:41,981 You need to give me a gun. You need to give me a fucking gun. 1249 01:00:42,005 --> 01:00:43,809 - Where the driver? - You're 38. Give her your 38. 1250 01:00:43,833 --> 01:00:45,488 Are you out of your fucking mind? 1251 01:00:45,522 --> 01:00:47,562 - Give me your fucking gun. - Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. 1252 01:00:47,591 --> 01:00:49,119 Hey, do you even know how to use that thing? 1253 01:00:49,143 --> 01:00:50,947 Tori: Yeah. You aim is and pull the fucking trigger. 1254 01:00:50,971 --> 01:00:52,488 Yeah? 1255 01:00:52,522 --> 01:00:54,110 Let's go. 1256 01:01:07,420 --> 01:01:08,903 Cover me. 1257 01:01:18,455 --> 01:01:19,662 Okay. I'm clear. 1258 01:01:19,697 --> 01:01:21,386 Tori, get in there! 1259 01:01:21,421 --> 01:01:23,697 Stay away from the fucking car! He's in there! 1260 01:01:23,731 --> 01:01:25,731 Do you see anything? 1261 01:01:30,800 --> 01:01:33,836 Something's not right. Something's not right! 1262 01:01:33,870 --> 01:01:36,112 Yeah, he's not fucking human. That's what's not right. 1263 01:01:36,146 --> 01:01:37,732 Do you see anything? 1264 01:01:39,629 --> 01:01:42,629 Monroe! Monroe! 1265 01:01:44,698 --> 01:01:46,456 Oh, fuck! 1266 01:01:47,422 --> 01:01:49,525 Where are you, motherfucker?! 1267 01:01:49,560 --> 01:01:51,388 Show yourself! 1268 01:01:51,423 --> 01:01:53,699 Get out of here now! 1269 01:01:53,733 --> 01:01:57,940 Come on, motherfucker! Let me see your face. 1270 01:01:57,975 --> 01:01:59,388 Hey! 1271 01:02:02,492 --> 01:02:04,009 Come on, fuck you! 1272 01:02:05,975 --> 01:02:08,113 Oh, no, wait! 1273 01:02:08,147 --> 01:02:09,664 No! No! 1274 01:02:09,699 --> 01:02:10,665 Aah! 1275 01:02:10,700 --> 01:02:13,803 Oh, fuck! 1276 01:02:38,701 --> 01:02:41,080 Oh, god. Okay. 1277 01:03:04,771 --> 01:03:07,634 Hello? Oh, fuck! 1278 01:03:07,668 --> 01:03:09,013 Fuck. 1279 01:03:25,634 --> 01:03:29,325 Okay, okay, okay. 1280 01:03:29,911 --> 01:03:30,945 Uh... 1281 01:03:31,911 --> 01:03:33,359 Hello? 1282 01:03:33,738 --> 01:03:35,014 Hello? 1283 01:03:35,049 --> 01:03:37,083 Fuck! 1284 01:03:55,532 --> 01:03:57,877 Hello? Hello, is anyone there? 1285 01:03:57,912 --> 01:03:59,405 Dispatch, I'm at the fuckin' police station. 1286 01:03:59,429 --> 01:04:00,981 I need your help. 1287 01:04:01,015 --> 01:04:02,946 Hello? Someone fuckin' answer me, please. 1288 01:04:02,981 --> 01:04:04,740 Fuck! 1289 01:07:06,404 --> 01:07:08,542 Fuck you! 1290 01:07:10,198 --> 01:07:13,715 No! No! No! 1291 01:07:13,749 --> 01:07:17,440 No! No! 1292 01:07:17,474 --> 01:07:20,578 No, no! No! 1293 01:07:42,475 --> 01:07:44,889 Fucking cocksucker! 1294 01:08:07,856 --> 01:08:10,132 Hello? Hello? Can anybody hear me? 1295 01:08:10,166 --> 01:08:12,890 Everybody's fucking dead! Please, someone, please! 1296 01:08:17,064 --> 01:08:19,064 Fuck! Okay. Come on, come on, come on. 1297 01:08:19,098 --> 01:08:21,684 Yes, come on! Come on! 1298 01:08:25,512 --> 01:08:27,408 Yes! Yes! 1299 01:08:27,443 --> 01:08:28,926 Ah! 1300 01:08:52,686 --> 01:08:54,997 Oh, fuck! 1301 01:08:55,031 --> 01:08:56,445 Fuck! 1302 01:08:57,514 --> 01:08:59,135 Fuck you! No! 1303 01:09:14,618 --> 01:09:15,929 Fuck you! 1304 01:09:19,860 --> 01:09:22,101 No! No! 1305 01:09:22,136 --> 01:09:23,894 No! 1306 01:09:25,480 --> 01:09:27,515 What the fuck?! Fuck! 1307 01:09:29,688 --> 01:09:31,481 Fuck you! 1308 01:12:28,456 --> 01:12:29,732 Fuck! 1309 01:12:44,767 --> 01:12:46,009 Fuck! 1310 01:12:46,974 --> 01:12:49,147 Fuck! 1311 01:15:02,050 --> 01:15:04,119 What the fuck?! 1312 01:17:54,128 --> 01:17:55,818 Okay. 1313 01:18:06,474 --> 01:18:09,026 No, no, no, no! 1314 01:18:09,060 --> 01:18:10,612 No! 1315 01:18:42,820 --> 01:18:45,131 Oh, fuck. 1316 01:18:48,579 --> 01:18:50,166 Fuck! 1317 01:18:50,200 --> 01:18:53,441 Come on. Come on. 1318 01:18:56,200 --> 01:18:58,614 Come on! No, no, no! 1319 01:18:58,648 --> 01:19:00,579 Come on! 1320 01:19:00,614 --> 01:19:02,545 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, come on! 1321 01:19:02,579 --> 01:19:07,615 Come on! Fuck you! 1322 01:19:11,132 --> 01:19:13,546 Oh, fuck! 1323 01:19:58,479 --> 01:19:59,996 Oh, fuck! 1324 01:21:03,517 --> 01:21:05,897 No! 1325 01:21:09,207 --> 01:21:11,862 Fuck! No! 1326 01:21:40,588 --> 01:21:42,933 No! No! 1327 01:21:43,795 --> 01:21:46,899 No! No! No! 1328 01:21:46,933 --> 01:21:48,968 Fuck! Fuck! 1329 01:21:51,761 --> 01:21:53,657 Ah! Fuck!