- Hello. - Hello
- Hello. - Hello.
That's how it is...
It's me, Tai Lung.
It just can't be.
I have returned to take what is mine.
That is, everything that is yours.
Let it be known from the highest mountain to the deepest valley...
that Tai Lung lives...
and that no one will stand in his way.
Not even the great...
Dragon warrior!
KUNG FU PANDA 4
Ska-doosh.
Where is Po?
He was supposed to arrive hours ago.
Ping, please. Do you want to relax?
- I'm already relaxed! - If you say so.
I assure you that Po is fine.
What if he is sick?
What if he's hurt?
What if he is hungry?
You drown in a glass of noodles.
If I know our son, he is sitting on a stingray kicking in the water.
Kung Fu.
This is serious.
He's getting worse!
Hey, calm down!
Well big guy, I'm going to wrap you like a tamale.
Again! Again!
- What fun. - Let's go again.
And next time, don't go overboard, Manta Ray.
I'm late!
It's The Dragon Warrior.
I was, I am and I will always be.
We love you, Dragon Warrior.
I love you too, fans.
I have my scroll.
- And the hat? - Sign the shirt.
I sign everything they want.
Po.
Master Shifu.
Haber, leave it to me.
Ready. It's already much worse.
We need to talk.
Of course, we have to talk.
But after the ceremony.
Ceremony? What ceremony?
The Staff of Wisdom.
It was given to me by Master Oogway himself.
It is said that whoever possesses this Staff will
have the power to travel from one Kingdom to another.
The power to open the door of Spirit Realm.
And now, the power to open...
The new Dragon Warrior noodles and tofu.
Where the soup kicks you.
And the noodles make you crazy.
Dragon warrior.
Are the Furious Five coming too?
Unfortunately not. They went on super barbaric Kung Fu missions.
Tigress confronts the band of free-range chickens.
Monkey follows the trail of the Malandrín Macaque.
They named Crane king of the crocodiles.
- Crane. - Long story.
Viper leads the peace practices between the Cobras and the Mongooses.
Or it is called Mongooses.
And Mantis, well, he's just trying to keep his wife from eating his head.
Just because they're not here in person doesn't mean...
They are not life-size cutouts.
Now, who wants a portrait?
Well well.
- One by one. - I, I, no.
You.
My turn, my turn.
Yes, now you.
Her bitter face came out very well.
We need to talk...
Now!
Hey, can you make me a wallet size one?
- Po. - I'm coming!
Do you remember the first time you climbed this staircase to the Jade Palace?
How to forget it?
I thought I wasn't going to make it to the top.
Yes, but you did it.
And again destiny calls you to take the next step of your journey.
The next step?
What are you talking about?
I have already taken all the steps.
Or not yet?
It's time for you to choose your successor.
Successor of what?
A successor who will be the next Dragon Warrior.
Yes, I understand.
How funny.
Because I am the Dragon Warrior.
Wait wait wait. As?
Do you mean I won't be the Dragon Warrior anymore?
Exactly.
So what am I going to be?
When you have chosen your successor, you
will advance to the highest level in all of Kung Fu.
Spiritual Leader of the Valley of Peace.
Oh!
I do not know what that means.
Just like Master Oogway before you.
You will oversee the Valley, share wisdom and give hope.
Hey, thank you very much for the promotion.
But I think I'm going to continue with this whole Dragon Warrior thing.
This Dragon Warrior thing?
What are you holding?
A cookie?
In the other.
The Staff of Wisdom?
It was given to you by Master Oogway.
Did you think what it was like to open a restaurant or pose for portraits?
Wasn't it very specific either?
Oogway wanted to entrust you with that Staff so that you could follow in his footsteps...
and become something better than what you already are.
I give it to you.
No, Oogway didn't give it to me.
Being the next Oogway is not my destiny.
Which I already accepted and I'm at peace with that.
Oh really. I'm fine.
It does'nt sound good.
You don't sound good.
I'm very well.
It's okay, you're okay.
This is an honor.
Oogway chose you as his successor and now you must choose yours.
Master Shifu, I finally found something I'm good at...
and now you want to take it away?
Nobody is taking anything from you Po.
What you are will always be part of what you will be.
Yes, but where was the ska-doosh?
You know what I mean?
Shifu!
I don't want to be ungrateful...
but I don't know anything about sharing wisdom and giving hope.
All I know are two things.
Kick ass and ask questions later.
And if I'm completely honest, I'm not even that good at asking.
Who was that fire-breathing crocodile?
I think it was Steve?
You were chosen to bring peace to the Valley and there
are other ways to bring peace, besides just kicking ass.
Well yes, but none of them are that fun.
Please!
Being the Dragon Warrior is all I know.
It's all I am!
Yes. Well, not anymore.
The Valley of Peace needs a spiritual
leader and the Master Oogway chose you.
He starts interviewing candidates first thing tomorrow morning.
Candidates? What candidates?
But how barbaric!
Ska-doosh!
So original!
Come along.
Master Po will now choose the next Dragon Warrior.
They are all great candidates. I'll let my finger decide.
Wait, wait, what's going on?
The Dragon Warrior, it's me!
Even if you don't want to Po, You must choose a successor.
Like they didn't have the face of Warriors or Dragons.
You know it, when you know it.
How does one know when one knows it?
Knows?
When I am conflicted, I come here to ask the
Universe for answers, just like Oogway before me.
I'm not in conflict, I'm just
not ready to take the next step.
What is that you have in your hand?
The Staff of Wisdom?
On the other hand.
A sucked peach pit?
Exactly.
Every seed has the promise of a majestic tree.
And how will it help me find answers?
Don't ask me.
Ask the Universe.
Be the seed, Po.
Be the seed.
Here we go.
Haber Universe.
Give me some guidance.
Inner peace.
Bread with beans.
Bread, yes sir. With butter.
And some steamed Dumplings.
Inner peace.
This doesn't work at all.
Maybe focus on your breathing.
I'm trying, but it's a little difficult when you keep talking to me.
Technically, you're talking to yourself if you think about it.
Can you both shut up? I'm trying to concentrate.
If I'm Po's inner voice, who are you?
I am the innermost inner voice.
How many voices do I have in there?
- Better not even ask? - This land is itchy.
But what am I going to do?
These wooden trees.
Hello!
Does anyone have a pear?
No!
Universe?
It's you?
Attention mysterious figure.
The Dragon Warrior is here.
To do justice.
That?
I know you're around.
It's only a matter of time before he finds you.
You can't hide forever!
The Fenghuang Dagger.
You have excellent taste, I admit it to you.
But I don't know you, give it back to me
If you insist.
No!
He has a cane to walk.
What are you going to do, hit me grandpa?
This cane is not for grandparents.
It is the Staff of Wisdom.
The Dragon Warrior will be angry when he finds out that you stole his staff.
I am the Dragon Warrior.
Well, here you go: You don't have the face of either a Warrior or a Dragon.
How dare you desecrate the hall of heroes.
Who is desecrating what?
The egg of the master ostrich.
Sorry.
Master Tangorin's indestructible hammer.
Oh!
The Urn of the Whispering Warriors, that I have already broken twice!
Why do they have an urn with souls?
It feels a little creepy.
You okay there, big guy? You seem a little tired.
I've never been more awake!
Squirrel Master's warhammer?
You're going to pay for that.
Hey.
You are a fake.
It's not a farce, it's called a method.
See you next time, panda!
No!
The next one is now!
Was it told to you?
You caught me.
Great and powerful Dumpling Warrior.
It's the Dragon Warrior!
Let me go!
I want to know one thing: How did
someone like you become a Dragon Warrior?
You will be able to solve that mystery in your two years...
in the Valley of Peace Prison.
Valley of Peace Prison?
It sounds like a daycare.
It's a daycare on weekends, but it is also a prison.
There is!
Dragon warrior!
- Tai Lung returned. - Tai Lung returned?
He didn't demand all of our steel.
-And then he destroyed the quarry! -He is in the Spirit Realm!
Well he came back!
He said that he won't stop until the Valley of Peace falls...
and the Dragon Warrior kneels before him.
The return.
Please! You have to do something!
It seems I'm not the only one who has a mystery to solve.
Well, you know what they say.
Every step leaves a mark.
No matter how small it is.
Every step leaves a mark.
No matter how small it is.
Very clever, bitch. It seems that you know something.
Maybe yes or maybe no.
Yes I know, yes I know. I know something.
Tell me.
And why should I do it? And what do I win?
The peace of mind of knowing you did the right thing?
You're adorable.
Haven't they told you before?
And I'm not telling you this just because you're stupid.
I don't have time for games!
Tai Lung is loose in the Valley of Peace!
Maybe or...
maybe she wants you to believe she was Tai Lung.
That?
- She? - Look.
The Empress of Disguise, capable
of taking any form, to imitate any form.
The master of deception, the scaly liar with a luminous look...
I'm talking about... the Chameleon.
This is a private conversation.
Who is the Chameleon?
Only the most powerful shapeshifting sorceress.
Then she changed her form into Tai Lung!
But what does she have against me and the Valley of Peace?
These are good questions.
You should ask her.
You're right.
How do I find that one "the Chameleon"?
She is not someone she can meet.
Or at least not without someone...
informed.
And how do I find someone informed?
That's me.
Obviously it's... it's me. I am the informed one.
Forget it. I'll find her alone.
Good luck!
How difficult can it be to find someone who can look...
like anyone else and go unnoticed.
Alright.
Take me to the Chameleon and I'll see if I can get your sentence reduced.
Made.
What do you think you're doing?
There's a shape-shifting sorceress, let loose...
That's a job for The Furious Five.
But, they are not here. And someone has to protect the Valley of Peace.
Look, I know change is hard and I know you like being The Dragon Warrior.
But your job is to find a successor.
The Dragon Warrior and I have a deal. You don't get involved, squirrel.
Master Shifu is not a squirrel.
I am a red panda.
Did you know? I'm glad for you.
Po, this is your decision.
But I think you already know what decision
Master Oogway would want you to make now.
Thanks for the hosting!
- What are you doing? - Thanks for the daycare.
- Not bad for a prison. - Where are you taking her?
You can not go away.
Don't worry, I'll bring her back before they notice she's gone.
I know you're supposed to share wisdom and give hope.
See it as one last adventure of the Dragon Warrior.
I will be back soon. Tell my parents that I love them.
I can't hear it from here anymore. Bye bye.
Yeah! How good it feels to be free again.
What a cute little scratching hand.
Hey.
And does it really open the door to the Spirit Realm?
That does not work like that.
They have to give it to you to get their powers.
I already understood, giving to obtain. So you give it to me?
No! So who do you think I am?
An easy target.
What is an easy target?
Someone who is easy to steal from.
Generally because they are generous and overly trusting. Like you.
How cute.
I heard that the Chameleon is a
monster with the appetite of 10 predators.
And her favorite food is panda.
The Chameleon...
It has magical powers.
If you say his name three times, It will come for you in the night!
Hurrah!
The Chameleon can take the form of anyone.
There is yours.
Or yours.
Mr. Li, Mr. Li, that's true?
Can I stop an evil sorceress?
To the Chameleon?
The Dragon Warrior's work is never done.
Li, I'm thinking that Po teamed up with a criminal...
to confront an evil sorceress.
It wasn't such a good idea.
Don't worry.
Po has faced demons, demigods and everything in between.
And he has always triumphed.
Yes you're right.
You're right.
What if you're not right?
Calm down now, Ping.
How bad can an evil sorceress be?
Who does he think he is to make us come?
She wants to appear powerful.
We are the heads of the
strongest crime families in Junípero.
And she's just a bug-eyed, power-hungry dwarf reptile.
They didn't mention that she is an evil sorceress.
Before we dominated the city.
Now we pay her half of the money we stole from her.
A criminal could no longer earn an honest living.
Yes, but what can we do?
Together we can defeat it.
You're crazy?
She is a shapeshifter.
She could be at this very table and we wouldn't have a clue.
And what's more, you could be the Chameleon.
Or you are the Chameleon.
Or maybe.
No.
Maybe.
Do not say it.
I am the Chameleon.
That you didn't say it.
Obviously we talked about more.
Sorry, Chameleon.
No, no, don't apologize.
You and your families prospered by taking advantage of the weak.
So they don't like being taken advantage of.
Especially when the one being taken advantage
of is just a dwarf reptile with bulging eyes.
What else did they say?
Hungry for power.
Well...
This dwarf reptile wants more.
You already have the whole city.
What more could you want?
I have something special in mind.
And I'm close to getting it.
As close as the blood moon.
But the blood moon is two nights away.
Very little time, too many expenses.
And that's why I will have to increase taxes this month to 60%
No!
What did you say?
I mean, it's not disrespect.
Don't worry.
I forgive you.
The imprudence...
and talk behind my back.
And the cynical lack of respect you feel for me.
Yes, I forgive.
But I never forget.
You could say I have the memory.
Do not say it.
Of an elephant.
Do you think I pressured you too much?
So you, my friend, have not begun to understand...
as far as I can push.
We have to do better.
And I await your tribute at sunset.
Are we stopping for lunch soon?
Justice doesn't stop for lunch.
But once in a while it takes time to have a snack.
Shall we share my almond cookie?
Are you just going to give me half your cookie out of the kindness of your heart?
What's the trick? The trap, the scam.
The chanchu what?
You know, the struggle, the disappointment, the trick
Do you want the cookie or not?
But I'm looking at you, right?
Is it far from reaching La Camaleona?
Only a little.
Li, what are you doing outside in the middle of the night?
I, I, didn't want to miss the rise of the blood moon.
Yes of course!
You're just as worried as I am.
It's okay, it's okay.
I know that we pandas seem calm, gentle, relaxed.
The truth is that...
I pee out of anguish.
Me too.
Or is it too calm, gentle and relaxed
to face a shape-shifting sorceress.
What if they capture him?
What if they torture him?
Our baby!
It's okay, it's okay.
Maybe Po finally found the shape of his shoe.
But he still has something that the Chameleon doesn't have.
What thing?
Us.
Now let's go look for our son.
- I hope Po is okay. - Do you know Li?
A wise goose once said: Worrying
doesn't make the broth boil faster.
Who said that nonsense?
Me of course. I was the wise goose.
Already.
It is the largest town I have ever seen.
That's not a town. That's Junipero City.
That's where I'll find the Chameleon, right?
A boat away.
And I'm going to take you to his door.
Are you sure we'll find a ship captain?
For the right price, these scourges will take us wherever we want.
Or of course we can always ask Roberto for a discount.
No stealing.
Happy Rabbit Tavern.
That sounds cozy.
No!
Has anyone lost a rabbit?
Stir quickly!
Welcome to the Happy Rabbit Tavern.
While I get a boat, you could get food.
And don't look for problems.
Hey, what are you playing?
Mahjong.
With very high stakes.
I can play?
But don't take advantage of a
beginner, because I'm very beginner.
Hello.
What do I offer you?
A boat trip to Ciudad Junípero.
Ask him.
- Who is he? - He is the Captain.
Thank you.
I won again.
I guess it's beginner's luck.
Have you never played?
Sorry, are you accusing me of cheating?
I want to speak to the manager, please.
The manager is in front of you.
Yes, I'll take you to Junipero City.
But, I'm not going to bring anything illegal.
I don't want problems.
Problems flee from me.
Well, it will cost you double.
I'm confused.
Should I have said that I like problems?
In that case it will cost you triple.
Can we go back to double the price?
- You have a deal. - Perfect.
Should I shake his hand or you?
Can I get you something else, miss?
Yes, another round of everything.
Minus the broth.
That was very tasteless.
Keep stirring.
Wow, one of each. It's what I always ask for.
But how did you pay for this?
Everything was legal, honest and without cheating.
I'm proud of you.
Wow, look at the time.
Now do you remember that we have to do that...
there with that man?
Did they really think they could get me a meal...
without paying?
This must be some misunderstanding, right?
And apparently I was the one who misunderstood.
Please allow us to pay for our food and yours.
I just have cravings for...
- Dumplings? - Revenge!
So come for her No,
no, no, don't come for her.
Destroy them!
I have you!
You are safe.
Better.
Come here.
Saved.
Don't stop stirring!
I'll take care of that for you.
I think this is yours.
Don't steal.
Yes, I think it's too late for that.
It is never too late to do the right thing.
- No. - Grab them.
Careful!
Ska-doosh.
Good trick.
You have to show me.
You're going to die, panda!
Who puts a tavern on a cliff?
I shouldn't have eaten so many Dumplings.
No!
Weigh anchor!
Go Go. Fast.
Not to be alarmist, but What if the Chameleon knows we're coming?
It could be anyone anywhere.
Li, could you please show some character?
I'm sorry, but bravery has never been my specialty.
Don't you have to be brave?
You just have to be brave.
Play brave.
I get it.
Li.
- Don't let go. - Don't let go of me Ping.
Everything was for nothing.
Please no.
I am very young!
How did I play the brave Ping?
He keeps practicing.
Junipero City.
That it feels good to be back home.
Does your family live there too?
They would live.
If I had a family.
It wasn't easy being a fox cub in the big city.
And I had to survive as best I could.
Hey.
Swindling, deceiving, cajoling
Stop running!
Wow, you're an orphan. Me too.
Well, it was.
My daddy goose adopted me and then my daddy panda found me.
Dad geese, dad pandas.
There is something for everyone.
Right, mom?
Yeah!
Then someone from here picked me up.
He offered me a roof, he gave me clothes, food...
and then I was never alone again.
I think we were both lucky.
I think so.
Hey tell me something.
- In that Valley of the Belly. - Peace.
What did that angry little squirrel mean?
Red panda.
When she said you should find your successor.
Now that I'm going to be the spiritual leader...
I must find a worthy successor to become the Dragon Warrior.
If you're at the top, you want to stay there, right?
No, it's just, what do I know about being a spiritual leader?
I can't even think of those proverbs that sound barbaric.
The mortal enemy of life is... What do I know, stairs?
Well!
We all know that the mortal enemy of life is time.
I think it's easier to hold on to the life you know...
than moving into the unknown.
Hey, that was very wise.
Yeah, maybe she should be the spiritual leader of Belly Valley.
That's crazy! You can see that she has a great time in the water.
Is it okay to drive?
We come to pay our tribute as you asked us to.
I see that it is very little.
Go get me more.
Further?
But Chameleon.
Go!
Otherwise they want to roll down the stairs again.
Where are we going to get more?
My destiny is finally approaching.
I will expand my Kingdom of Juniper City to all cities, towns and villages...
from here to the Valley of Peace.
And then...
Then everyone will know the name of...
The Chameleon.
Zhen, I had a vision.
I saw the Chameleon.
She will take over cities and towns and the Valley of Peace.
A vision?
While you were Sleeping.
They're called dreams, Po.
It wasn't a dream!
A vision.
Or did I eat a bad Dumpling before going to sleep...
or is it a Dragon Warrior thing?
We have to go stop the Chameleon.
In that case, you're lucky.
Welcome to Junípero City.
In this place you can be anything you want to be...
Do everything you want to do and steal everything you want to steal.
Well, if that's what you like.
We arrived!
Oh! That came out of nowhere.
Yes, I have it ready.
Careful!
Move the cone.
The cone warns you.
- Sorry. - Watch where you're going.
I have never seen so much traffic before.
Is there no rush hour in the Valley of Peace?
Nobody is ever in a hurry there!
Come on!
Get out of there, panda.
My God!
How glad I am to return home.
Landscape.
The sounds.
The smells!
Mongtong Paradise!
Yeah!
Po. Po!
Focus!
This city is the most amazing place I have ever seen in my life!
I used to feel the same way until the Chameleon had it in her clutches.
Tonight we will arrest the Chameleon.
Yes, I will show you where this evil
sorceress lurks while she rules the city.
Does she lurk in that sinister tower that overlooks the city?
How did you know?
Isn't this the first time I've stopped a villain?
Let's keep moving.
- Hello Zhen! - Hello Zhen!
So much without seeing you?
How have you been Zhen?
Wow, you're quite the local celebrity.
Yes, good...
A face like mine is difficult to forget.
That?!
Are you a wanted criminal?
Do you sound surprised? Did it surprise you?
It doesn't come as a surprise to me.
Did you never mention that they were looking for you?
Don't worry. The law has better things to do than look for me.
Hey Zhen.
We have been looking for you.
Lazy week, right?
I'll take care.
Good morning, officers. His servant the Dragon Warrior.
The lady and I are on official Dragon Warrior business.
- Warrior, what? - Dragon, what?
Dragon warrior. Nobody?
No?
Maybe you know me better...
like Kung Fu Panda.
Wait, wait!
Who does that guy think he is?
Please.
Well, we try it your way. Now it will be mine.
Wait, what's your way?
I'm sorry.
Come on, come on, come on.
You can't run from the law. You are a wanted criminal.
Yes, and it seems I'm not the only one.
Life in the city is fast.
We have to go before they call...
Reinforcement.
There are bulls and many of them!
Runs.
Move, move!
I fall down!
Very slow.
Sorry!
They are there!
There's no time for a drum solo.
They caught us!
Here they were.
There is not much left.
You always say that and it's always far away.
What is this place?
Home Sweet Home.
The best bandits and criminals...
from all over Junípero City live here.
Be careful, these guys will steal your underwear and you wouldn't even notice.
Be careful with that Fires Artificial children.
Are you friends with all these people?
They are like my family.
Zhen!
Is it really you?
Han, my old mentor.
I always knew you'd end up going back to the lair.
And when you did...
I would have prepared a very appropriate welcome for you.
Family, right?
More like distant cousins.
Alright.
How should we do this?
Quick and painless?
Or slow and painful?
Slow and painful.
All right, you rascals.
Slow and painful it will be.
Hurrah!
You really don't want to do this.
And why not?
Because if you lay a single paw on me, you'll have to answer to...
The Dragon Warrior.
Dragon, Dragon, Dragon, Dragon.
Who?
It just can't be.
My adventures really with such locals?
Why don't you introduce them...
to your fists?
Remember, Po, there are other ways to bring peace than kicking ass.
Come on, seriously?
Now?
- Yes, now. - Wait.
Shouldn't my inner Shifus have different opinions?
We completely agree that we are disappointed...
of you.
High!
He who resorts to violence today, he will only encounter more violence tomorrow.
Are you saying that if we don't hurt Zhen a little bit today...
Can we hurt her a lot tomorrow?
That?
No, that's not what I said.
Yeah.
And more violence tomorrow.
It's better than less violence today.
No no no no.
I think you are misunderstanding the fundamental point.
- More violence. - Hurrah.
More violence gives me butterflies in my belly.
Hey, that panda is right about a lot of things.
I like it.
- Violence. - Violence.
No no no no.
Wait!
Come back!
I will think of better wisdom.
Po, you have to polish those proverbs.
Kung Fu Panda?
No.
Son of Mr. Ping and Mr. Li?
They are both very common surnames.
Oogway's disciple?
I'm sorry.
Trained by Master Shifu?
Master Shifu.
Yeah.
We all know about the legendary Master Shifu.
But not from you.
Did someone say legendary? Shock her!
Look, Han...
I know we had differences, but I'm in a bind here and I was hoping...
that you could help me.
Thank you.
Don't take it.
We just need a place to
hide while the pressure drops.
Why should I help you?
Because deep down underneath that scaly exterior...
There is a kind soul who still considers me family.
Good.
But if you're still here after dark, I myself will call the bulls.
Rest.
So today we will stop the Chameleon.
First get your pants back.
Isn't that great!
Hey, come on!
Give it back to me!
It is made by hand.
I think this tavern doesn't look very friendly.
My tail.
I know everything is going to be okay.
It's a restaurant.
They are my people.
We speak the same language.
Wait here.
Greetings to all!
Excuse me for interrupting.
I know you're having fun.
But, I was wondering if a panda passed through these parts recently?
If a panda came.
Do you know him?
Know him? I'm his dad.
You'll have to pay for what your son did to my tavern.
My son would never do this, without a good reason.
Could it be that your broth was tasteless?
Test it!
No no!
The broth smells delicious.
You don't have to add anything to it, much less to me.
Release that goose.
He turned the panda.
Went back?!
No.
But they're going to wish I were him.
Because if you think he left this place in a
bad way, you have no idea what I'm capable of.
Everything he learned, he learned it from me.
Except one thing.
The mercy.
I don't know where he learned it from, because I don't believe in it.
We can fix this in one of two ways.
The simple, in which they tell me where he is.
Or the difficult one, in which they also tell me where he is.
But it will be difficult to understand them...
Why don't they have teeth!
Mahjong!
I eat the pieces of Mahjong for breakfast!
Stay where you are! Do not move!
On the other hand.
- Stay here! - Where is our son?
He took a boat to Junipero City.
Where?
A wise goose once said...
- Time to leave. - Yes of course.
Okay, let's try again.
Stir the pot, roll the wok, Serve the dish and ska-blam!
Hey, where's the golden dragon I had to shoot?
That's not going to happen with a broom.
I didn't do it bad at all.
Yes, but stir later, It spins higher and the word is ska-doosh.
"Ska-doosh" doesn't exist.
And "ska-blam" yes?
No!
Ska-blam!
I tell you what, you are not like the other Masters I have met.
Yes, I know.
There aren't that many pandas.
No... You are one of the good ones.
Listen!
There are no Moors on the coast!
Thieves, take to the streets!
And you two...
Get out of here!
I already know that I promised to take you to the Chameleon's door...
but, the rear door is a little more practical.
I give it to you Jen, you are a bitch with a word of honor.
A sucked peach pit?
From Master Oogway's Celestial Wisdom Tree.
It's a Valley of Peace thing.
It is to remind me that each seed has the promise of a majestic tree.
Maybe it will serve the same purpose for you.
Are you sure you want to do this?
As a wise spiritual leader said, how can anyone
kick ass, if one is not looking for a butt to kick?
You're quite a character, you know?
Thank you.
Wait, Was it a compliment or an insult?
Yeah.
Have you seen our son?
I'm sorry.
No.
Tell us you saw our son.
Hey, why are they leaving?
You said yes.
Hey, look.
- Po was here. - You surprise me Li.
But how do you know?
Pandas have the gift of seeing what others don't.
Come, There must be more clues here.
Because...
That was close.
Careful.
- Po! - Back off.
- They're coming. - Quick, help me with the cage.
There's no point.
We have to leverage something.
Here, use my Staff.
Okay, get ready, here I come.
Jen, where are you taking my Staff?
I think you mean, my Staff.
You gave it to Jen, and now Jen gave it to me.
give to get What doesn't work like that?
You were right, Jen.
- Yes, it was an easy target. - Jen!
The first rule of the streets... Trust nobody.
I showed it to him.
Did you think my apprentice was your friend?
Apprentice?
So she was the one who gave you shelter!
It was the best thing that happened to her in her life.
You would have seen the little thief when I found her.
Mangy and starving.
She was with those losers from the Den of Thieves.
She wasn't afraid.
But a lot of potential.
So, I took her in.
I made it what it is today.
And straighten up.
Yes, teacher.
Was all this just so I could give you the Staff of Wisdom?
Because?
I also had a humble origin.
I dreamed of becoming something more.
I wanted respect and power, I wanted to be a Kung Fu Master.
That?
I was rejected from every training center I went to.
They said she was too small, insignificant!
And that Kung Fu was not my destiny.
So, I chose a different path.
The sorcery.
I grew up.
I stood out.
And I got everything I had ever dreamed of.
Everything except Kung Fu.
Make me look like Tai Lung, It doesn't mean I fight like him.
You see Po, Kung Fu will be practiced with the body...
But his secrets are carried in the spirit.
And since I have access to Spirit Realm...
Are you going to steal from Tai Lung Kung Fu?
His and the villainous Masters who went before me.
And when I do, no one will dare underestimate me again...
You forgot me!
Don't get tired, Po.
Those bars are enchanted with ancient and very powerful magic.
It takes about ten Dragon Warriors, to pass through them.
I won't go through them...
I'll go under!
That was frustrating for many reasons.
- Po! - Jen?
My Staff, give it to me now!
Forgive me for lying to you, I only did what I was told.
Then you apologize, first I have to stop the Chameleon.
- Po! - Jen?
No!
Well done, Jen.
You didn't say you were going to hurt him.
What is the second rule of the streets?
Someone always gets hurt.
And he makes sure it's not you.
I just... I wish it had been different.
There is a third rule of the streets.
Third rule?
Many say it is the most important.
Nobody cares about your feelings.
Move on! To loot the Spirit Realm.
And smile...
Nobody likes grumpy girls.
Seriously Jen, I don't know where you learned those bad habits.
Very good.
Hello!
Let go!
Son!
Now save me...
Hello son.
Okay, we've got you Po.
We already have you!
So, they followed me?
It was his idea.
It's okay, it's okay, It was both of our ideas.
We follow you, because we love you.
No! They followed me because you don't believe in me.
And because we love you.
Well, they were right.
I screwed up and it was really ugly.
Trust the wrong person.
I gave the Staff of Wisdom in the hands of the Chameleon.
Po...
That was a horrible blunder.
If I had listened to Master Shifu,
if I stayed in the Valley of Peace...
The Chameleon would not have my Staff, and this would not be happening.
He was clinging to things staying the way they were.
We are all afraid of change, Po.
Even to me.
There was a time, not long ago...
when he just wanted to be the best noodle chef in the entire Valley.
And then what happened?
I became the best noodle chef in the Valley!
It's true.
But I also became a father.
And nothing, nothing has been the same since then.
Change doesn't always have to be a bad thing.
Because you think I always change the restaurant menu.
Because if everything stays the same forever...
sooner or later, It will lose its flavor.
It's true, Po.
Since I left my village, I became a kind of warrior.
Strong and brave!
Move!
Towards here.
Take all those cages, fast!
That looks bad.
Really bad.
Move!
Walk!
Don't tell me you were really making friends with that panda?
That? No, no, it's just...
When we want something, we must use
whatever is within our reach to obtain it.
And the panda was just that...
"Something to wear"!
So, that's why you took me in?
To use me and help you get what you wanted?
Jen...
I took you in because you were clever, ruthless and calculating...
Like me!
And the day you stop being all that, It would be the day when...
Yeah! You will no longer be useful to me.
So, for the sake of both of us, don't change.
Today...
when the blood moon reaches its zenith, in the night sky...
I will open the portal to Spirit Realm...
and all your secrets will be mine!
Does the blood moon always move so slowly?
She remembered moving faster.
No?
Just me?
Maybe it was for dramatic effects.
I will open the portal to Spirit Realm now.
Bring me Tai Lung!
Tai Lung? Big fan.
Who are you and why do you have that Staff?
An old friend of yours gave this to me.
The fluffy panda?
Po will be an idiot...
but he would never willingly give him the Oogway Staff...
to someone like you!
Who said he was "voluntarily"?
Apparently I misjudged you, lizard.
Let's see, why did you bring me back?
I brought you to teach me...
your movements Most legendary Kung Fu.
I don't share my techniques with anyone.
I wasn't asking you.
Yes, I got it!
Tai Lung's attack on the nerves...
The power and precision!
- Excellent! - Yeah.
What did you do to me?
All your Kung Fu is now mine.
And the best of all is that I'm just getting started.
Bring me General Kai!
Bring me Master Eagle.
Master Bull.
Wait Po, please, be reasonable.
I'm not going to leave, until I get my Staff back.
No Staff is worth more than your life.
As long as I remain the Dragon Warrior,
I won't let anyone get hurt because of me.
Po, you're alive!
Please, I made a mistake.
Just like me, by trusting you.
Forgive me.
Did your Master also tell you to tell me that?
She is not my teacher.
I'll leave here, forever.
It's true.
Now I know she was wrong about everything.
What are you doing?
I stop you.
Out of my way, Jen.
No!
Move on!
Do you want me to move?
Move me.
First you betray me...
and now you want to fight me?
Why are you doing this?
Because I want to prevent you from being killed.
What does it matter to you, yes they kill me or not?
Please, Po, Let me do just one thing right.
You're not the only one who has made bad decisions lately.
You're going to move on, aren't you?
I'm afraid so.
And I can't convince you not to do it?
I'm afraid not, Jen.
You know you can't beat her.
You are probably right.
But I must try.
Get as far away from this place as you can.
Po!
We wouldn't have let him come.
We are terrible parents.
At least they didn't lie to him and betray him.
That's true.
You are worse.
I feel like a terrible friend.
Friend?
Why do I want friends like that?
We have to give up, surrender.
We can't let him come in alone.
And what can we do?
There are only three of us, against an army.
I guess we'll have to get our own army.
Hey! Listen to me everyone.
Thank you.
The Dragon Warrior is in trouble.
- Who? - You know, Po.
The panda!
No, no, it's a different panda.
-I am his father. -I am also his father.
Okay, that doesn't matter.
What matters is that my friend is in trouble and he needs my help.
So, I need them.
Why should we help you?
Well because, because...
Because that's the right thing to do.
Enough!
Already! Stop laughing.
Hey, I know you think it's too late...
so that cheaters, thieves
and thugs like us can reform.
But a good friend once told me...
that it is never too late to do the right thing.
I mean, are you saying that...
If we do a little good today,
can we do more bad tomorrow?
That?! No!
And if we get the Chameleon off our back...
We can do all the evil we want.
I think, I think, I think they didn't get the message.
Violence! Violence! Violence!
Are you ready to do the right thing, for the wrong reasons?
Look, the mistake that Dragon Warrior
made was underestimating his opponent.
I would never have fallen into such an obvious trap.
Hey!
And look, the mistake that Dragon Warrior made...
Shut up, Larry!
I have never seen so many guards in this place.
I'm not going to get to Po in time.
You arrive with Po, we'll take care of the guards.
We will do it?
I mean, sure...
But how?
Just leave it to me.
General Kai?
Lord Shen?
They're all my old nemeses.
Nemeses?
The Chameleon is bringing out spirits, of the Kingdom of Spirits...
and he is stealing our techniques!
And he's also using your Staff to do it.
I came to get it back.
I better not even get excited.
Excuse me, do I know you?
Do you know me? I'm Scott.
The fire-breathing crocodile.
Go Scott!
Master Shifu and I were talking about you recently.
Panda...
Oogway was wrong when he chose you as Dragon Warrior.
But I never imagined the size of that error...
Until now.
Tai Lung...
I'm going to recover the Staff.
I will return your Kung Fu...
And I will return them to Spirit Realm.
You will see.
I only see... A broken promise.
Let's see...
Komodo dragons, filthy
We can do this in one of two ways.
The simple...
in which they voluntarily surrender.
Or the difficult...
in which they give up pitifully.
The decision is yours.
Just kidding! Just kidding!
Thanks, Ping.
Run away!
Cannonball!
Isn't it very spicy?
No, it has the perfect flavor.
Ginseng, that's the secret to my blackberry punch.
That panda was right.
More violence tomorrow is better!
Yeah!
It seems to me that you have something that belongs to me.
Can't you even die well?
Can't even kill badly?
No?
I didn't get the pun.
And speaking of the Staff!
Keep him!
I already got everything I needed from him.
I think this was destiny...
A final encounter between formidable adversaries.
Similar in many ways.
I wish they gave me a Dumpling, every time a
villain tells me everything we have in common.
It's true.
We have both already reached the top.
It's a shame that only one can stay at the top.
It's a shame...
For you!
My sorcery powers...
and Kung Fu combined, They make me unstoppable.
And when I'm done with you, I will expand
my Kingdom, from Ciudad Junípero, to...
All the cities, towns and villages here...
to the Valley of Peace and beyond...
Yes, I know!
But how do you know?
I saw it in a vision.
Because I am the Dragon Warrior!
At least for now. But...
I finally understood that it is time to make changes.
And you should too...
I am the Chameleon! If there's one thing I know how to do, it's change.
But only on the outside.
The real changes come from within.
And if we're as similar as you say,
maybe we can both let go of what we were...
and become something better than we are.
What are you saying?
I say...
Even I saw it coming.
We are proud of you.
You tried it our way.
Now, to yours.
- Go kick his ass! - Go kick his ass!
You don't have to tell me.
Master Elephant's trunk twist?
Master Boar's disastrous teeth?
The angry fangs of Master Wolf?
Master Bull's deadly horns?
That?
Do you recognize the technique?
Is this what my voice sounds like?
That's not what my voice sounds like, is it?
You didn't earn those techniques...
you just stole them!
Right left! An uppercut.
-Which of the two are you going for? - I'm not sure.
This is all very confusing.
I am stronger than any opponent you have ever faced...
Because I am all the opponents you have faced.
Po!
Gotta polish up those heroic entries.
No, it turned out very well for you.
I should have left you to rot in the drain, where you belong!
Better to rot in the drain, that under your paw!
Two against one?
Well, that doesn't seem fair to me.
I have to even this fight.
Master Cobra!
Master Eagle!
Scorpion Master!
Master Wolf!
General Kai!
Lord Shen!
That's amazing!
I mean it's horrible, but amazing!
Po?
Jen!
No!
Po!
I thought we were friends.
Backwards.
I'm going to kick my ass.
Quick Po! Get out of there!
You'll have to do it.
I can't beat the Chameleon.
A wise turtle, she told me once...
that you don't know what you can do, until you do it!
The fate of the world is at stake...
and you give me life advice from a turtle!
I know the seed, Jen.
Be the seed.
And what do you think you're doing?
I finish what Po started.
Please!
How many times do I have to tell you?
Straighten up.
Ungrateful bitch.
After everything I did for you?
And you betray me for the panda!
First rule of the streets:
Never trust anyone!
You can not beat me.
I know all your techniques.
No, not this one.
She stirs, rolls, serves and...
ska-blam!
Yeah!
Second rule: Someone
always gets hurt.
That shot was great.
Po! Could you leave the cage whenever you wanted?
Faker!
It's not farce, it's method.
Also, how will a seed become a tree...
If you don't give it the opportunity to grow.
And hey, you scrambled later and rolled higher.
But for the last time, the word is...
ska-doosh!
Maybe Oogway wasn't wrong about you.
You're finally not so useless after all.
My God! Thank you so much.
This is my son!
Our son.
I think it's time you sent us home, panda.
Jen, do something!
Third rule:
Nobody cares about your feelings.
See you on the other side...
- Dragon warrior! - No!
We pack you food, for your time in jail.
Let's hope it's not your last dinner.
Thanks guys.
I was thinking...
When I serve my sentence and have my freedom again...
I could open one of those acupuncture places, which are trendy.
I think you're qualified for a job...
with a little more room to grow.
The Jade Palace?
She!
Among all the candidates you could train, as your worthy successor...
Do you choose the bitch?
You know when you know, you know?
Good! Choose whoever you
want, a thief, a stick, a carrot.
I don't know why I bother.
I'm going to go meditate.
And a lot!
Don't worry, he'll calm down.
Probably.
Maybe.
Hey, are you okay?
Is right.
Who told you I'm ready for this?
If I learned anything working in my dad's kitchen...
is that the best dishes come from the most unexpected ingredients.
Hey!
That wasn't bad.
Okay, I see you as a spiritual leader now.
Yeah! I'm already understanding this thing about proverbs.
One should never do squats...
with chopsticks in his pockets.
Yeah, Better keep kicking ass.
Money does not buy happiness...
but if you buy a lot of Dumplings.
Why do you always end up talking about Dumplings?
When life gives you lemons...
Make pear water, and confuses everyone!
We already understood.
It is not possible to cover the sun with a finger.
Although it also depends on the size of the finger.
Or if you close your eye, well...
Can we start training now?
Inner peace.
Hello, Master Shifu.
Look, there are two of us now.
It's going very well, Shifu.
Breathe with your stomach.
- I see him a little tired. - Are you tired?
I think it's okay, Yes, you meditate tired, don't you?
Inner peace.
Ready to start your training?
And you?
Yeah!
I brought you some help.
Tenacious D: Jack
Black - Baby One More Time # Baby, baby # How would I know?
# Something wasn't
right # Baby, baby #
I shouldn't have let
you go Hot, hot, hot!
# Now I can't find
you # Show me...
# How do you want
it to be # Tell me
honey # I need to know # Because.
..
# Loneliness...
# It's killing
me # And I...
# I must confess...
# That I still believe #
I still believe # That
when I'm not with you...
# I'm losing my mind #
Give me a sign # Call
me baby, one more time
# Baby, baby # You're
the reason I breathe #
Baby, you've got me
blinded # Pretty girl #
There's nothing I
wouldn't do for you #
This wasn't in my plans #Show me...
# How do you want
it to be # Tell me
honey # I need to know # Because.
..
# Loneliness...
# It's killing
me # And I...
# I must confess...
# That I still believe #
I still believe # That
when I'm not with you...
# I lose my
mind # Give
me a sign #
Call me # Baby
# One more time
# Chick
# Yeah
# Chick
#Hit me baby, but not very strong
# Hit me one more time
#Hit me baby, but not very strong
# Hit me one more time
#Baby, baby
# How would I know?
# That something wasn't right
# Pretty girl
# I shouldn't have let you go
# And I must confess...
# That loneliness...
# It's killing me now
# Don't you see that I still believe?
# That you will be with me
# But give me a sign
# Call me
# Chick
# One more time
# Loneliness
# It is killing me
# Me too...
# I must confess
# That I still believe
# I still believe
# That when I'm not with you
# I lose my mind
# Give me a sign
# Call me
# Chick
# One more time