1
00:00:46,464 --> 00:00:48,300
Do we have enough Happy Eggs?
2
00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:50,051
Yes!
3
00:00:55,682 --> 00:00:58,351
Timing is very, very important.
4
00:01:00,020 --> 00:01:02,105
Usually, I have two slices.
5
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:05,233
There you go.
6
00:01:05,650 --> 00:01:07,193
I can cook one thing.
7
00:01:07,193 --> 00:01:10,280
No, I can cook two things,
two poached eggs.
8
00:01:12,282 --> 00:01:15,702
The secret... olive oil.
9
00:01:18,830 --> 00:01:21,166
Now, this is the chef part.
10
00:01:23,585 --> 00:01:25,212
I put way too much in.
11
00:01:25,712 --> 00:01:28,506
All the years you were...
kind of living by yourself?
12
00:01:28,506 --> 00:01:30,634
I ate every meal out, including breakfast.
13
00:01:33,929 --> 00:01:37,015
So if I was to look in your fridge
in those days, what would I find?
14
00:01:37,015 --> 00:01:38,350
Nothing.
15
00:01:42,145 --> 00:01:45,106
Marty and I,
he loves poached eggs on toast too.
16
00:01:45,106 --> 00:01:47,692
Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
17
00:01:47,692 --> 00:01:50,195
So we're often staying in hotels.
18
00:01:50,195 --> 00:01:53,448
So, if I get a particularly
good looking poached eggs,
19
00:01:53,448 --> 00:01:57,702
I'll e-mail Marty the photo
and he's never done it back.
20
00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:02,999
Now... yes.
21
00:02:05,710 --> 00:02:07,087
I like a lot of pepper.
22
00:02:10,757 --> 00:02:13,760
Oh, Steve. Will you marry me?
23
00:02:25,689 --> 00:02:28,650
Glad you're not filming this
'cause it'd be so embarrassing.
24
00:02:30,819 --> 00:02:33,822
So, why did you agree
to make this documentary?
25
00:02:35,615 --> 00:02:37,117
It's a hard thing to answer.
26
00:02:39,661 --> 00:02:41,329
You ever think you'd be so bored?
27
00:02:42,414 --> 00:02:45,500
I'd see it as a... antidote
28
00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:48,879
to the sort of anodyne interviews,
29
00:02:48,879 --> 00:02:52,132
generic things I've talked about
a million times.
30
00:02:52,132 --> 00:02:54,259
And look back at what an odd life.
31
00:02:56,511 --> 00:02:58,305
My whole life is backwards.
32
00:02:59,055 --> 00:03:02,726
How did I go from riddled
with anxiety in my 30s
33
00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:06,146
to 75 and really happy?
34
00:03:07,772 --> 00:03:09,482
How did this happen?
35
00:03:15,363 --> 00:03:17,824
My wife, if she looked at this video,
36
00:03:17,824 --> 00:03:20,535
she would say,
"What were you doing just then?"
37
00:03:20,535 --> 00:03:22,287
And I'd say, "Putting things away."
38
00:03:22,287 --> 00:03:24,748
She goes, "Oh, is that what that was?"
39
00:03:25,957 --> 00:03:26,917
Well...
40
00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:31,379
So this... I'll move this.
41
00:03:32,088 --> 00:03:33,965
This tape is 45 years old.
42
00:03:34,758 --> 00:03:35,759
If I calculate.
43
00:03:37,010 --> 00:03:40,347
And... I used to tape the show
to play back to hear...
44
00:03:40,347 --> 00:03:42,933
I didn't do that often,
but occasionally I'd play it back.
45
00:03:43,558 --> 00:03:46,061
So, I'm a little afraid to listen to this.
46
00:03:48,021 --> 00:03:49,481
Let's just press play.
47
00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:53,985
You know, I read something
in Time magazine, really disturbed me.
48
00:03:53,985 --> 00:03:58,406
It said at any time the sun could expand
49
00:03:58,406 --> 00:04:01,451
and engulf the Earth
and completely destroy it.
50
00:04:01,451 --> 00:04:04,871
I said, "That's it.
I'm getting a smoke detector."
51
00:04:07,249 --> 00:04:09,084
Bigger laugh than it deserved.
52
00:04:11,503 --> 00:04:17,216
This stand-up thing was huge to me,
it was gigantic.
53
00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:20,720
Now it almost feels like a blip.
54
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:23,557
You know, we're really lucky
the way the human body turned out.
55
00:04:23,557 --> 00:04:27,185
You know, like a simple thing.
Instead of having two arms,
56
00:04:27,185 --> 00:04:29,354
we just had one arm
right in the center of our body.
57
00:04:29,354 --> 00:04:30,522
That, I'd do like that.
58
00:04:30,522 --> 00:04:32,232
And that would totally
put an end to show business,
59
00:04:32,232 --> 00:04:34,067
because how would people clap?
60
00:04:35,986 --> 00:04:36,820
Pretty good.
61
00:04:36,820 --> 00:04:38,738
Okay, I'm starting...
You know, I've had enough.
62
00:04:38,738 --> 00:04:41,283
I mean, we should listen to the end,
see where it went,
63
00:04:41,283 --> 00:04:43,618
but I just can't bear it, you know.
64
00:04:44,786 --> 00:04:46,580
I have a whole new life now.
65
00:04:49,583 --> 00:04:50,458
It's Marty.
66
00:04:50,834 --> 00:04:53,920
- Hello?
- Hi. They need you in ten minutes.
67
00:04:56,673 --> 00:04:57,549
Hello?
68
00:04:59,175 --> 00:05:00,302
Hung up on me.
69
00:05:00,886 --> 00:05:03,889
So, I know you like making cartoons.
70
00:05:04,556 --> 00:05:06,474
How would you feel
about writing some cartoons
71
00:05:06,474 --> 00:05:09,686
about how you feel
about making this documentary?
72
00:05:27,454 --> 00:05:30,373
- Yeah, like the-- like that.
- Okay.
73
00:05:31,166 --> 00:05:33,543
What's going on? That was a false start.
74
00:05:36,213 --> 00:05:41,426
Being able to witness
an artist reinvent himself
75
00:05:41,426 --> 00:05:44,763
{\an8}is really quite extraordinary.
76
00:05:44,763 --> 00:05:47,891
{\an8}There are very few artists that do that.
77
00:05:48,975 --> 00:05:52,604
For an artist to walk away from that
78
00:05:52,604 --> 00:05:57,817
to find another way
of being creative and connecting.
79
00:05:58,485 --> 00:06:03,281
They're aiming for the art of their life.
80
00:06:05,867 --> 00:06:09,079
You know, bravery is the word
that comes to mind.
81
00:06:09,079 --> 00:06:15,544
You have to be driven by something
outside of what the thing is.
82
00:06:23,843 --> 00:06:25,762
There was a big premiere of The Jerk.
83
00:06:26,763 --> 00:06:29,766
{\an8}Marie! Where are you, Marie?
84
00:06:33,895 --> 00:06:35,063
Marie!
85
00:06:37,232 --> 00:06:42,112
And four of us go out for dinner
with a friend of mine and my father.
86
00:06:43,363 --> 00:06:47,033
And my father said nothing
about the movie. Nothing.
87
00:06:48,243 --> 00:06:51,246
And finally, my friend says... "Glenn
88
00:06:51,246 --> 00:06:53,373
what did you think of Steve in the movie?"
89
00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:56,668
And he said,
"Well, he's no Charlie Chaplin."
90
00:07:08,763 --> 00:07:11,683
Okay, now do it again.
Leave the tape rolling. Do it again.
91
00:07:11,683 --> 00:07:13,768
Back up, Steve, so you're
a little further away from the camera.
92
00:07:13,768 --> 00:07:16,688
And this time, don't turn so much
in the beginning,
93
00:07:16,688 --> 00:07:18,398
but turn more in the turn,
you know what I mean?
94
00:07:18,398 --> 00:07:19,649
Like you showed me.
95
00:07:19,649 --> 00:07:20,650
Okay, go ahead.
96
00:07:22,485 --> 00:07:23,695
God I... sorry.
97
00:07:29,618 --> 00:07:32,203
On my next film, Pennies From Heaven,
98
00:07:32,203 --> 00:07:34,956
I had to learn to tap dance
because I didn't know anything.
99
00:07:34,956 --> 00:07:37,125
So, I tap danced for six months.
100
00:07:37,125 --> 00:07:39,502
I wanted to do it, so badly.
101
00:07:42,797 --> 00:07:45,634
Well, Gregory, I...
I just finished my first MGM musical.
102
00:07:45,634 --> 00:07:47,636
It's called Pennies From Heaven.
103
00:07:47,636 --> 00:07:49,221
Yeah, I heard it's very good.
104
00:07:49,221 --> 00:07:50,764
I think it's the best thing
I've ever done.
105
00:07:50,764 --> 00:07:53,391
- It's my first dramatic role.
- Dramatic role?
106
00:07:53,391 --> 00:07:55,352
- That's right.
- No wild and crazy guy, huh?
107
00:07:55,352 --> 00:07:56,895
Yeah, it's a totally
different thing for me.
108
00:07:56,895 --> 00:07:59,689
- But I do sing and dance a little.
- Dance?
109
00:08:02,734 --> 00:08:06,029
It was... made me cry.
I just thought it was great.
110
00:08:17,374 --> 00:08:21,002
And the movie has this great concept.
111
00:08:21,002 --> 00:08:23,338
Lip syncing old songs.
112
00:08:23,338 --> 00:08:30,345
If I should wake
And find your arms around me...
113
00:08:30,345 --> 00:08:34,349
{\an8}Steve, when the conversation's
like this
114
00:08:35,183 --> 00:08:37,101
{\an8}he cuts in like that.
115
00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:41,731
That's... He comes from an angle
from outer space,
116
00:08:41,731 --> 00:08:44,192
and it comes from his innocence.
117
00:08:44,192 --> 00:08:46,778
It doesn't come from anything calculated.
It's just who he is.
118
00:08:48,405 --> 00:08:52,826
I loved it and I thought,
"Oh, this is a huge hit."
119
00:08:52,826 --> 00:08:54,077
Yes, absolutely.
120
00:08:54,077 --> 00:08:56,746
I'm gonna say, "Yes, absolutely,"
to everything you ask me. So...
121
00:08:56,746 --> 00:08:58,039
How's the reaction?
122
00:08:58,039 --> 00:08:59,666
Yes, absolutely.
123
00:08:59,666 --> 00:09:01,459
"Yes, absolutely."
124
00:09:01,459 --> 00:09:04,880
Is Steve Martin a pompous ass?
"Yes, absolutely."
125
00:09:06,381 --> 00:09:08,049
And it flopped.
126
00:09:09,217 --> 00:09:10,594
The winner for this year's Oscar
127
00:09:10,594 --> 00:09:12,971
for Best Performance in a Motion Picture,
Pennies From Heaven...
128
00:09:14,055 --> 00:09:15,056
...Mr. Steve Martin.
129
00:09:17,017 --> 00:09:20,103
- Did it embarrass you?
- Oh, horribly.
130
00:09:20,812 --> 00:09:24,858
I'm ashamed to say how I... felt.
131
00:09:24,858 --> 00:09:27,819
I felt like, you know, a big failure.
132
00:09:30,155 --> 00:09:32,657
I did it all myself.
133
00:09:32,657 --> 00:09:34,326
I don't have anybody to thank.
134
00:09:34,326 --> 00:09:37,370
Not Mom and Dad
or the people behind the camera.
135
00:09:37,370 --> 00:09:39,164
It was just me!
136
00:09:40,081 --> 00:09:44,669
I was exhausted. And nothing was working.
137
00:09:45,462 --> 00:09:48,048
- Want a nice time, honey?
- No, I like feeling miserable.
138
00:09:48,048 --> 00:09:51,968
I thought I'm gonna take a break.
Go to London by myself.
139
00:09:52,469 --> 00:09:56,306
And it was eerie because
I could walk down the street
140
00:09:56,306 --> 00:09:58,433
and no one would look at me.
141
00:09:58,433 --> 00:10:00,227
And I was very lonely.
142
00:10:01,561 --> 00:10:04,898
And I went to see the movie Flashdance.
143
00:10:06,524 --> 00:10:10,278
And so I'm sitting there,
just depressed and lonely.
144
00:10:11,071 --> 00:10:15,951
And the movie comes on, and there's
some little scene where a kid,
145
00:10:15,951 --> 00:10:17,911
they're all feeling their oats
and he says,
146
00:10:17,911 --> 00:10:20,413
"I want to be like Steve Martin."
147
00:10:21,706 --> 00:10:25,877
I recognize the irony
of just sitting there, like,
148
00:10:25,877 --> 00:10:28,630
"No, you don't want to be me right now,
I'm telling you."
149
00:10:32,676 --> 00:10:33,885
- Just quickly...
- Yeah.
150
00:10:33,885 --> 00:10:35,762
- With all these reviews...
- Right.
151
00:10:35,762 --> 00:10:37,681
And it is such an interesting,
strange movie
152
00:10:37,681 --> 00:10:40,809
and the really powerful people in the
industry have given it great reviews,
153
00:10:40,809 --> 00:10:43,687
and of course, there has been
negative reviews too.
154
00:10:43,687 --> 00:10:47,691
And I've found something
that the people who like it
155
00:10:47,691 --> 00:10:50,443
are, like, wise and intelligent people...
156
00:10:50,443 --> 00:10:52,195
- Yeah.
- And the people who don't like it...
157
00:10:52,195 --> 00:10:53,613
- Real dummies.
- ...are ignorant scum.
158
00:10:53,613 --> 00:10:55,115
Right.
159
00:10:55,115 --> 00:10:56,408
That can happen.
160
00:10:56,408 --> 00:10:57,826
Yeah. You liked it, didn't you?
161
00:10:57,826 --> 00:11:00,453
- Yes. Sure. Wise, wise, wise.
- Yeah. Well see...
162
00:11:06,459 --> 00:11:07,752
I kind of decided, Steve,
163
00:11:07,752 --> 00:11:12,340
I don't want to say anything negative
about colleagues anymore
164
00:11:12,340 --> 00:11:14,342
- 'cause it's hard enough...
- Yeah.
165
00:11:14,342 --> 00:11:15,343
Yeah.
166
00:11:15,343 --> 00:11:19,014
Do you like your glasses
right side up or upside down?
167
00:11:19,014 --> 00:11:21,266
- I like the water over the outside.
- Okay.
168
00:11:21,266 --> 00:11:22,767
'Cause you just got
a little amount in there.
169
00:11:25,145 --> 00:11:26,688
I think we're done.
170
00:11:28,690 --> 00:11:30,817
But I always had a policy.
171
00:11:30,817 --> 00:11:32,819
You don't criticize other artists.
172
00:11:32,819 --> 00:11:33,820
- Any artist?
- It's...
173
00:11:33,820 --> 00:11:36,072
When you look at a painting,
I'm sure you're critical.
174
00:11:36,072 --> 00:11:38,658
Well, you know, personally
I might like it or dislike it,
175
00:11:38,658 --> 00:11:40,243
I'm not gonna announce it.
176
00:11:40,243 --> 00:11:43,163
- Right.
- Because we have critics, you know,
177
00:11:43,163 --> 00:11:44,915
- who wanna kill us.
- Right.
178
00:11:44,915 --> 00:11:47,709
That's not what I do.
I'm on the artistic side of it, I think.
179
00:11:47,709 --> 00:11:49,169
Or trying to be, anyway.
180
00:11:51,796 --> 00:11:54,466
I think it's weird,
when I went to the ballet one time
181
00:11:54,466 --> 00:11:57,302
and they applauded certain things.
182
00:11:58,094 --> 00:12:00,847
As if they know
what the difficult things are to do.
183
00:12:01,973 --> 00:12:04,893
These 80-year-old people going...
"That's art."
184
00:12:04,893 --> 00:12:08,688
When I learned tap dancing
from Danny Daniels, that-- for a movie,
185
00:12:08,688 --> 00:12:10,732
I learned it for a movie
and then forgot it.
186
00:12:11,441 --> 00:12:13,318
But he said, "Look, Steve.
187
00:12:13,318 --> 00:12:17,447
There are easy steps that look hard
and there are hard steps that look easy,"
188
00:12:17,447 --> 00:12:19,866
so you just don't know
what anybody is applauding.
189
00:12:20,575 --> 00:12:21,618
What movie was that?
190
00:12:21,618 --> 00:12:23,453
Pennies From Heaven, I'm sure you know it.
191
00:12:23,453 --> 00:12:25,163
- I do.
- Let's watch it. I'm kidding.
192
00:12:25,163 --> 00:12:26,498
Yeah.
193
00:12:28,792 --> 00:12:29,918
Hey, buddies.
194
00:12:37,884 --> 00:12:40,470
I came across a word in Hungarian.
195
00:12:42,180 --> 00:12:44,558
"Pihentagyú."
196
00:12:44,558 --> 00:12:47,852
This is literally meaning
"with a relaxed brain."
197
00:12:47,852 --> 00:12:51,940
I thought, "That's what I have now."
My brain is relaxed.
198
00:12:51,940 --> 00:12:55,777
I'm not under the pressure
that I put myself under then.
199
00:12:55,777 --> 00:13:01,908
You know, I'm not out to prove anything,
and better stuff comes.
200
00:13:03,618 --> 00:13:05,370
I wish something would happen.
201
00:13:06,121 --> 00:13:08,456
You need a line here?
How about, "blah-blah"?
202
00:13:08,456 --> 00:13:10,083
We need a joke? What if I said this...?
203
00:13:10,083 --> 00:13:12,043
We need a title for our show?
What about this?
204
00:13:12,043 --> 00:13:14,462
I love our new poster.
I want to show you our new poster.
205
00:13:14,462 --> 00:13:16,840
Let me see if I can find it first.
206
00:13:19,968 --> 00:13:21,428
I think it's funny, anyway.
207
00:13:23,513 --> 00:13:25,015
Hi, I'm being interviewed.
208
00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:28,977
Hello.
So, what were you talking about?
209
00:13:29,895 --> 00:13:33,690
Me. We were just killing time
until the money got here.
210
00:13:34,691 --> 00:13:37,152
Thank you. Speaking of which,
where is my per diem?
211
00:13:38,194 --> 00:13:41,114
What's happening right now is,
for the last year and a half,
212
00:13:41,114 --> 00:13:45,160
we've just been collecting jokes
for shows coming up next month,
213
00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:46,912
so we want to be prepared.
214
00:13:47,495 --> 00:13:49,706
I like the little background noise
because it makes people realize
215
00:13:49,706 --> 00:13:51,541
I don't live by myself.
216
00:13:51,541 --> 00:13:54,002
Yeah, except you're
destroying the documentary.
217
00:13:54,502 --> 00:13:57,047
Basically, look at the new jokes and see
if they belong
218
00:13:57,047 --> 00:14:00,550
or where they can go, or, I mean,
if they're funny, I take them.
219
00:14:00,550 --> 00:14:03,178
If they're not funny,
I give them to Marty.
220
00:14:03,178 --> 00:14:06,765
The thing about a joke that doesn't work
is the audience doesn't know.
221
00:14:06,765 --> 00:14:09,643
You're expecting a laugh,
but then there's no laugh,
222
00:14:09,643 --> 00:14:11,978
but they just think,
"Oh, he's just talking now."
223
00:14:14,439 --> 00:14:16,024
"I love a comedian's opening line
224
00:14:16,024 --> 00:14:19,027
because it sets the tone
for the entire stupid show."
225
00:14:19,986 --> 00:14:20,987
I think that's funny.
226
00:14:20,987 --> 00:14:22,906
"You know, we haven't performed
in a year and a half,
227
00:14:22,906 --> 00:14:25,784
which will become obvious
as the show goes on"?
228
00:14:25,784 --> 00:14:27,786
I like, "I'm not nervous,
I'm just unprepared."
229
00:14:27,786 --> 00:14:29,454
It's the same idea.
230
00:14:29,454 --> 00:14:31,873
"How many of you applauded
because you thought I was dead?"
231
00:14:32,958 --> 00:14:34,960
"Ever have one of those moments
when you walk into a room
232
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:36,628
and forget why you're there?"
233
00:14:37,128 --> 00:14:39,256
Well, it's funny...
234
00:14:39,256 --> 00:14:41,007
Okay, "I know what you're thinking.
235
00:14:41,007 --> 00:14:43,969
These hearing aids
make my ass look amazing."
236
00:14:43,969 --> 00:14:46,888
Right away,
it's the premise of you're old.
237
00:14:46,888 --> 00:14:49,933
Maybe you can follow up
with a line about your prostate.
238
00:14:51,393 --> 00:14:53,645
"Every night I make sure
I give a good night kiss
239
00:14:53,645 --> 00:14:56,731
to the three little ones that
mean more to me than life itself.
240
00:14:56,731 --> 00:14:58,275
My two Emmys and my Tony."
241
00:14:59,442 --> 00:15:02,070
I could hear that coming out of you.
242
00:15:02,070 --> 00:15:03,446
Because it's not very good.
243
00:15:05,365 --> 00:15:06,700
"It's a protest song called,
244
00:15:06,700 --> 00:15:09,703
'Let's Tax the Top One Percent
Even Less.'"
245
00:15:11,121 --> 00:15:12,122
I like that.
246
00:15:12,122 --> 00:15:14,541
"I'm old school.
I've been treating women with respect
247
00:15:14,541 --> 00:15:16,042
before they even deserved it."
248
00:15:16,042 --> 00:15:18,378
- You're gonna get "ugh."
- Yeah, I know.
249
00:15:18,378 --> 00:15:21,089
"Isn't that crazy a celebrity
as a president", but I...
250
00:15:21,089 --> 00:15:22,966
Yeah, right away it's a Trump thing.
251
00:15:22,966 --> 00:15:26,219
And also, we don't want
to get that political, it's just...
252
00:15:26,219 --> 00:15:28,054
Well, we have to get a little political.
253
00:15:28,054 --> 00:15:30,056
- Trump.
- That's right, you're trying to retire.
254
00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:32,267
No, I'm just not fraught with fear.
255
00:15:33,727 --> 00:15:35,812
"When I told Steve
that social distancing meant
256
00:15:35,812 --> 00:15:38,481
staying six feet
away from people, he said,
257
00:15:38,481 --> 00:15:39,733
'Can you make it 60?'"
258
00:15:39,733 --> 00:15:40,984
Cut.
259
00:15:40,984 --> 00:15:42,777
I don't get this at all.
260
00:15:43,403 --> 00:15:45,739
"'Steve, you look fantastic.
What's your secret?'
261
00:15:45,739 --> 00:15:49,492
I tell them, '20 years ago,
I killed a hobo.'"
262
00:15:49,492 --> 00:15:51,286
What does that mean?
263
00:16:13,391 --> 00:16:18,230
Knowing Steve as well as you do,
how do you see him as a private person?
264
00:16:18,230 --> 00:16:20,565
I feel like...
265
00:16:20,565 --> 00:16:23,485
I feel like, I still
wouldn't be able to say, like,
266
00:16:23,485 --> 00:16:25,487
"Well, the real Steve," you know?
267
00:16:25,487 --> 00:16:27,155
You know, I...
268
00:16:28,531 --> 00:16:30,825
{\an8}Did you have any sense of who he was?
269
00:16:30,825 --> 00:16:31,785
No.
270
00:16:32,452 --> 00:16:36,581
Not really. No.
271
00:16:37,165 --> 00:16:39,459
{\an8}Steve was always kind of...
272
00:16:41,127 --> 00:16:43,797
...a solitary figure in a way.
273
00:16:43,797 --> 00:16:47,050
But he was very, very, very shy.
274
00:16:47,050 --> 00:16:49,511
But there's another trope also
where he was always closed off
275
00:16:49,511 --> 00:16:51,846
and wouldn't talk to people.
276
00:16:53,431 --> 00:16:55,475
And understandably, you know,
277
00:16:55,475 --> 00:16:58,853
when you're a star of that magnitude
and that talent,
278
00:16:58,853 --> 00:17:00,522
everybody wants a piece of you.
279
00:17:00,522 --> 00:17:05,610
Well, I will say this and I say it
with certain... not caution exactly,
280
00:17:05,610 --> 00:17:08,530
a certain delicacy because
I wouldn't want to invade Steve's privacy,
281
00:17:08,530 --> 00:17:12,617
but presumably by...
you are in the middle of doing that.
282
00:17:12,617 --> 00:17:16,329
Steve has changed more than
any other person I know.
283
00:17:16,746 --> 00:17:20,292
{\an8}Hey, let's take time out right now
and kinda get to know each other.
284
00:17:20,292 --> 00:17:23,795
{\an8}Let's take questions from the audience.
285
00:17:23,795 --> 00:17:26,464
If anybody has any question at all
they'd like to ask me,
286
00:17:26,464 --> 00:17:29,050
please raise your hand, feel free,
287
00:17:29,050 --> 00:17:31,595
I'll be happy to answer anything,
anybody at all.
288
00:17:31,595 --> 00:17:33,388
Yes, this lady right here.
289
00:17:34,681 --> 00:17:37,392
Steve... how do you relax after the show?
290
00:17:37,392 --> 00:17:40,270
Well, what business is that of yours?
291
00:17:41,104 --> 00:17:43,273
Any other questions? Just raise 'em up.
292
00:17:43,273 --> 00:17:44,733
Yes, you, sir.
293
00:17:45,775 --> 00:17:48,153
Steve, do you enjoy working in television?
294
00:17:48,153 --> 00:17:50,071
This is the kind of thing
that disgusts me, right here.
295
00:17:50,071 --> 00:17:53,575
When someone stands up and brings
a question like that out to me in front--
296
00:17:53,575 --> 00:17:55,660
Get this guy out of here!
It makes me sick!
297
00:17:55,660 --> 00:17:57,746
Sick to my stomach! Now get him out!
298
00:17:59,247 --> 00:18:01,917
Any other questions at all
from the audience, please?
299
00:18:02,626 --> 00:18:06,254
No more questions.
Okay, let's go on with the show!
300
00:18:08,381 --> 00:18:10,091
"Who is Steve Martin's best friend?"
301
00:18:10,091 --> 00:18:12,552
"Does Steve Martin own a Picasso?"
302
00:18:12,552 --> 00:18:14,346
"How rich is Steve Martin?"
303
00:18:15,639 --> 00:18:17,599
"When did Steve Martin's hair turn white?"
304
00:18:17,599 --> 00:18:20,977
These are the top, I guess,
the top inquiries about me.
305
00:18:22,229 --> 00:18:24,272
"Why did Steve Martin retire from acting?"
306
00:18:25,315 --> 00:18:27,984
I didn't... I didn't know I did, actually.
307
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:31,655
How much money are you worth?
308
00:18:33,823 --> 00:18:35,075
Yeah, let's just look.
309
00:18:37,786 --> 00:18:40,622
Well... it's nice.
310
00:18:40,622 --> 00:18:42,916
Not accurate in any way, but...
311
00:18:43,625 --> 00:18:48,213
If you use this, you better tell 'em
I was asked to Google myself.
312
00:18:49,756 --> 00:18:53,218
Wait a minute.
"How much is Ben Stiller worth?"
313
00:18:58,932 --> 00:19:01,101
- Yes?
- Hi. Do you have a table for dinner?
314
00:19:01,101 --> 00:19:02,769
Certainly, sir. How many in your party?
315
00:19:02,769 --> 00:19:05,063
- I'm alone.
- Alone?
316
00:19:11,778 --> 00:19:12,737
When I first knew Steve...
317
00:19:14,739 --> 00:19:18,952
...he was very difficult to connect with
at an intimate level.
318
00:19:19,703 --> 00:19:22,247
And there would often be long silences.
319
00:19:22,247 --> 00:19:24,708
You felt the intensity of his aloneness.
320
00:19:25,208 --> 00:19:26,459
First-time lonely guy?
321
00:19:29,337 --> 00:19:30,589
What's a lonely guy?
322
00:19:33,383 --> 00:19:37,262
I'm not sure what made me
want to be alone at that time.
323
00:19:39,681 --> 00:19:40,765
Don't know.
324
00:19:41,308 --> 00:19:42,601
You ever think of getting a dog?
325
00:19:44,019 --> 00:19:45,937
- A dog?
- Dogs are great.
326
00:19:45,937 --> 00:19:47,981
They leap all over you.
They lick your face.
327
00:19:47,981 --> 00:19:50,901
They don't even have to like you.
It's their instinct.
328
00:19:50,901 --> 00:19:52,319
Hitler had a dog.
329
00:19:54,154 --> 00:19:56,197
Spent a lot of time on his own.
330
00:19:57,032 --> 00:20:02,329
In the early days, he'd make enough money
to go to France and buy some paintings.
331
00:20:02,329 --> 00:20:05,415
And then he'd come back and sell
two of the paintings and pay for the trip.
332
00:20:05,957 --> 00:20:11,504
What you're looking at is a picture
painted by Lucien Margottet last week.
333
00:20:13,131 --> 00:20:15,592
As you know, the Impressionist period
334
00:20:15,592 --> 00:20:19,888
was a very, very important period
in American painting.
335
00:20:21,139 --> 00:20:25,310
I think the love of art came
because art is beautiful.
336
00:20:25,310 --> 00:20:26,770
Art is good to look at.
337
00:20:27,729 --> 00:20:31,816
And he can love something
and he can buy it.
338
00:20:31,816 --> 00:20:33,777
It's his Rosebud.
339
00:20:35,528 --> 00:20:39,157
Frank Duveneck.
These are all 19th century Americans.
340
00:20:39,991 --> 00:20:42,327
Here's a photo of a... a room I had.
341
00:20:42,327 --> 00:20:48,124
I turned the garage into a little room
that I could look at paintings.
342
00:20:48,124 --> 00:20:49,918
- Really?
- Yeah. Here's a picture. I'd line them up.
343
00:20:49,918 --> 00:20:52,379
You know, look at them.
344
00:20:52,379 --> 00:20:55,882
Kinda like a private little room,
like an art room.
345
00:20:56,466 --> 00:20:58,552
I'd get lost,
and I'd just stare into space.
346
00:20:59,177 --> 00:21:03,014
I used to love to do that.
It was hypnotic.
347
00:21:04,474 --> 00:21:06,768
{\an8}Do you remember
the first piece you bought?
348
00:21:10,730 --> 00:21:14,609
This is an area of my life
that I try to keep private.
349
00:21:16,111 --> 00:21:18,405
And I think it should be kept that way.
350
00:21:19,447 --> 00:21:23,535
I mean, the first painting I ever bought
was a ship at sea in the moonlight.
351
00:21:23,535 --> 00:21:27,330
{\an8}All lonely. You know, leaning.
352
00:21:27,831 --> 00:21:29,291
Let me show you this one.
353
00:21:31,126 --> 00:21:34,546
So, this is a drawing of his mother.
354
00:21:35,171 --> 00:21:38,216
{\an8}You have lots of paintings of,
kind of, solitary figures.
355
00:21:38,216 --> 00:21:40,468
Yeah, Adam Gopnik said that once.
356
00:21:40,468 --> 00:21:43,597
"Steve, are you aware that
everything you collect has in common,
357
00:21:43,597 --> 00:21:48,393
whatever period it's from,
a quality of plaintive isolation?"
358
00:21:48,393 --> 00:21:52,397
People looking off...
into the distance like this.
359
00:21:53,148 --> 00:21:55,525
Hopper was a big touchstone for him
for a long time.
360
00:21:56,401 --> 00:21:57,986
They're lonely pictures.
361
00:21:58,987 --> 00:22:01,823
{\an8}It's lots of isolated figures,
lots of lighthouses.
362
00:22:04,367 --> 00:22:06,369
Do you have a melancholy inside you?
363
00:22:06,953 --> 00:22:09,497
- Quite often, yeah.
- Yeah, me too.
364
00:22:09,497 --> 00:22:13,335
But that's dissipated.
I had more melancholy younger.
365
00:22:13,793 --> 00:22:14,920
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
366
00:22:15,629 --> 00:22:20,091
Do you ever get sad because you're
not as happy as you think you should be?
367
00:22:22,636 --> 00:22:24,554
I must say, I look around,
368
00:22:24,554 --> 00:22:28,642
I tell my wife, Anne this, I go,
"How did this happen?"
369
00:22:28,642 --> 00:22:32,187
- Right.
- You know, this is fantastic, you know?
370
00:22:35,190 --> 00:22:38,777
{\an8}- Are we really gonna go this slowly?
- You're leading.
371
00:22:41,571 --> 00:22:44,199
Why don't I interview you
as we're driving?
372
00:22:44,199 --> 00:22:46,409
It's called biking, but sure.
373
00:22:46,409 --> 00:22:49,412
Hey, so, like, did you always
want to be in comedy?
374
00:22:49,412 --> 00:22:52,249
Oh, boy.
Gonna turn right here, Marty.
375
00:22:52,249 --> 00:22:57,629
There's a little horse ranch up here,
actually, that John Cleese used to own.
376
00:22:57,629 --> 00:23:01,258
And this one horse likes me,
but only if I have food.
377
00:23:04,761 --> 00:23:05,720
Fresh cut.
378
00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:07,055
Here you go.
379
00:23:10,892 --> 00:23:12,602
Get your dirt-covered apple.
380
00:23:12,602 --> 00:23:14,271
All right, no interest.
381
00:23:14,271 --> 00:23:16,606
Yeah. It was a triumph.
382
00:23:17,649 --> 00:23:20,735
Yeah. Here he comes.
He's gonna think about it.
383
00:23:20,735 --> 00:23:22,112
- No.
- No.
384
00:23:23,947 --> 00:23:25,615
He's seen my films.
385
00:23:26,449 --> 00:23:28,368
He hates these cans!
386
00:23:29,661 --> 00:23:31,538
Stay away from the cans!
387
00:23:34,916 --> 00:23:38,044
Boy. We might have to loop this section.
388
00:23:38,587 --> 00:23:41,172
Yeah, that's the most fun
we're having today.
389
00:23:43,550 --> 00:23:47,220
Tell you one thing I like about being 75,
390
00:23:47,220 --> 00:23:49,723
- and being on a bicycle.
- Yeah?
391
00:23:49,723 --> 00:23:51,182
There's no way you can look good.
392
00:23:55,395 --> 00:23:59,316
See what he needs is us
to collide and fall.
393
00:23:59,316 --> 00:24:00,984
Yeah. Yeah.
394
00:24:02,027 --> 00:24:03,904
Just keep moving. Keep moving.
395
00:24:03,904 --> 00:24:05,906
- Why are you slowing down for me?
- 'Cause there's a car.
396
00:24:05,906 --> 00:24:07,032
Oh, shit!
397
00:24:14,706 --> 00:24:18,543
When I was 15,
I started working at Disneyland
398
00:24:18,543 --> 00:24:20,003
at Merlin's Magic Shop.
399
00:24:20,003 --> 00:24:23,590
This was the sign that was handmade
by the owner.
400
00:24:23,590 --> 00:24:27,052
You can see it in old photographs,
it's hanging out in front of the shop.
401
00:24:28,011 --> 00:24:30,931
And then, years later, it was on eBay.
402
00:24:32,641 --> 00:24:36,478
And I... I bought it immediately,
out of nostalgia,
403
00:24:36,478 --> 00:24:38,480
and then hung it here.
I can't believe it.
404
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:41,441
This was the Fantasyland Magic shop,
which is not there anymore.
405
00:24:42,234 --> 00:24:44,653
This is what I used to sell at Disneyland.
406
00:24:45,654 --> 00:24:47,572
You know, I had a fascination
with cowboys.
407
00:24:47,989 --> 00:24:49,783
I know, right.
408
00:24:49,783 --> 00:24:51,284
Here's Victoria.
409
00:24:52,077 --> 00:24:54,162
Victoria had this incredible style.
410
00:24:55,330 --> 00:24:57,249
One of my oldest friends.
411
00:24:57,249 --> 00:24:58,959
Well, it's such Americana.
412
00:24:58,959 --> 00:25:01,836
That was, you know, a recreation
of a certain kind of Americana.
413
00:25:01,836 --> 00:25:05,298
And then, you know,
you became Americana.
414
00:25:13,181 --> 00:25:14,516
Here's something.
415
00:25:15,392 --> 00:25:16,810
I don't know why I have this.
416
00:25:17,644 --> 00:25:20,188
It's my tooth on a string.
417
00:25:21,898 --> 00:25:26,069
There's a real boy somewhere
inside that never left.
418
00:25:26,069 --> 00:25:29,739
I bought this off eBay years ago because
I, you know, had affection for it,
419
00:25:29,739 --> 00:25:31,074
but it's kind of a mess.
420
00:25:31,074 --> 00:25:33,743
But it reminds me of, you know,
how I got started.
421
00:25:33,743 --> 00:25:37,831
The belief in something
good and pure and American.
422
00:25:39,499 --> 00:25:42,335
It sure seems like you've
saved a lot over the years.
423
00:25:42,335 --> 00:25:46,006
{\an8}I saved all the wrong things.
I saved, like, magazine covers.
424
00:25:47,340 --> 00:25:51,428
You know, and you really should have been
photographing your apartment.
425
00:25:51,428 --> 00:25:54,806
So it means something
when you remembered it.
426
00:25:54,806 --> 00:25:58,560
And... you know, I don't really
go back and look at things,
427
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:01,229
but here we are doing this documentary.
428
00:26:01,938 --> 00:26:05,358
This is my set list,
and the reason they're in this state
429
00:26:05,358 --> 00:26:08,320
is because I would get so sweaty
from performing,
430
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:10,697
and jumping around, jumping around,
I'd come off drenched.
431
00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:17,203
Here we go.
432
00:26:19,205 --> 00:26:20,540
Steve would be going on Letterman.
433
00:26:20,540 --> 00:26:23,168
I could get a call about,
"What do you think of this?"
434
00:26:23,168 --> 00:26:26,963
{\an8}And he'd do it. And I'd go,
"I think it's funny. I think it'll work--"
435
00:26:26,963 --> 00:26:30,342
And I'd say, "When are you doing it?"
He'd say, "In five weeks."
436
00:26:31,259 --> 00:26:34,512
And it's that thing that
every time you have to win.
437
00:26:35,805 --> 00:26:37,349
This is my Flydini.
438
00:26:41,811 --> 00:26:44,606
I was always impressed as a kid,
there was a standard magic act
439
00:26:44,606 --> 00:26:47,359
where a magician would come out
with a top hat
440
00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:51,238
and then produce a million things,
and I thought,
441
00:26:51,238 --> 00:26:52,405
"What if I did it from my fly?"
442
00:27:26,773 --> 00:27:29,776
I had done it for charities,
443
00:27:29,776 --> 00:27:33,655
and it was Johnny's last week
and he asked me, "Would you do Flydini,"
444
00:27:33,655 --> 00:27:37,534
and I knew I had made it...
in Johnny's mind.
445
00:27:56,136 --> 00:28:00,223
The... Three Amigos.
I don't want to try it on though.
446
00:28:01,850 --> 00:28:03,268
We'll do it this way.
447
00:28:06,605 --> 00:28:08,899
This is like out of Father of the Bride.
448
00:28:10,859 --> 00:28:12,193
- There.
- Not bad.
449
00:28:12,193 --> 00:28:13,695
It's not supposed to button.
450
00:28:16,740 --> 00:28:17,866
Okay.
451
00:28:19,659 --> 00:28:21,369
The humiliation is complete.
452
00:28:27,959 --> 00:28:30,712
Three Amigos taught me a lot of things.
453
00:28:30,712 --> 00:28:33,340
For example, I like working with partners.
454
00:28:34,049 --> 00:28:36,843
- Why are we here?
- We're gonna look at this miracle.
455
00:28:37,677 --> 00:28:39,095
Oh, I see.
456
00:28:41,890 --> 00:28:45,018
Now, this is the Paradise Café.
It used to be the Paradise Café.
457
00:28:45,518 --> 00:28:48,313
I came here every day in the '80s.
458
00:28:48,897 --> 00:28:51,024
And I found this mural very charming.
459
00:28:51,608 --> 00:28:53,735
Just looks like so much fun.
460
00:28:54,486 --> 00:28:56,279
- This inspired you!
- It did inspire me.
461
00:28:56,988 --> 00:28:58,281
It's such a great image.
462
00:28:58,281 --> 00:29:00,367
It makes you feel happy.
463
00:29:00,367 --> 00:29:04,746
Anyway, and so I would come here and watch
and I just thought, "Three Amigos."
464
00:29:04,746 --> 00:29:06,581
And when did my name
come into the mix?
465
00:29:06,581 --> 00:29:07,666
Never.
466
00:29:10,835 --> 00:29:13,338
I remember going to Lorne's apartment.
467
00:29:14,589 --> 00:29:17,342
He talked to me about Three Amigos.
468
00:29:18,093 --> 00:29:20,845
And then the next day,
I flew back to LA
469
00:29:20,845 --> 00:29:22,639
and went to his house
and picked up a script.
470
00:29:22,639 --> 00:29:26,184
And I was just stunned
at the works of art.
471
00:29:26,184 --> 00:29:29,604
There was a Hopper.
There was, you know, Picasso.
472
00:29:29,604 --> 00:29:31,982
So, I said to Steve,
"How did you get this rich?
473
00:29:31,982 --> 00:29:33,650
Because I've seen your work."
474
00:29:33,650 --> 00:29:35,569
And you really laughed.
475
00:29:35,569 --> 00:29:37,237
It was an equal back and forth.
476
00:29:37,237 --> 00:29:39,155
No. Well, not really equal.
477
00:29:42,450 --> 00:29:44,035
You know, it was my first movie.
478
00:29:44,828 --> 00:29:46,371
We were just getting to know each other.
479
00:29:46,371 --> 00:29:47,872
Ned, what are you doing?
480
00:29:47,872 --> 00:29:52,419
But I had to play someone
who was their close friend
481
00:29:52,419 --> 00:29:54,254
and an equal on every level.
482
00:29:55,255 --> 00:29:58,300
So, I had to do an impersonation
of myself really relaxed.
483
00:29:58,300 --> 00:30:00,677
- I'm Lucky Day.
- I'm Ned Nederlander.
484
00:30:00,677 --> 00:30:02,762
And I'm Dusty Bottoms,
and together, we're...
485
00:30:02,762 --> 00:30:05,015
The Three Amigos!
486
00:30:07,058 --> 00:30:08,643
So, what have you learned?
487
00:30:08,643 --> 00:30:10,312
- I have learned...
- Yeah?
488
00:30:10,979 --> 00:30:13,690
That you were very influenced
489
00:30:13,690 --> 00:30:16,359
- by a broken down painting.
- Yeah.
490
00:30:16,818 --> 00:30:19,237
I've learned that you had
a lot of time on your hands.
491
00:30:20,739 --> 00:30:22,073
- Hello.
- Hey, buddy.
492
00:30:22,073 --> 00:30:24,242
Why do you like me so much?
493
00:30:24,826 --> 00:30:27,120
You're cute. I worked with one once.
494
00:30:27,787 --> 00:30:28,622
You guys have a good day.
495
00:30:28,622 --> 00:30:29,664
- Thank you.
- Bye-bye.
496
00:30:29,664 --> 00:30:31,791
- Bye, buddy.
- Come on, boy.
497
00:30:31,791 --> 00:30:34,669
Okay, that's our exit shot, all right.
498
00:30:53,688 --> 00:30:56,316
If you really, really knew
how to be funny,
499
00:30:56,316 --> 00:30:58,068
- you wouldn't need so many jokes.
- That's what I said.
500
00:30:58,068 --> 00:30:59,903
I said, "What's a comedy genius?"
501
00:30:59,903 --> 00:31:03,323
Is that a person who goes out
and never misses?
502
00:31:03,323 --> 00:31:04,950
There's no such thing.
503
00:31:04,950 --> 00:31:06,576
- Right.
- There's no comedy genius.
504
00:31:06,576 --> 00:31:07,535
No.
505
00:31:07,535 --> 00:31:09,162
I saw Chris Rock the other night, he said,
506
00:31:09,162 --> 00:31:11,248
"Are you still writing every day?"
I go, "Yeah, every day."
507
00:31:11,706 --> 00:31:13,333
- You are still writing every day?
- Every day.
508
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,002
- I write cartoons.
- Really?
509
00:31:16,002 --> 00:31:18,171
Yeah. That's what I've been doing.
510
00:31:18,171 --> 00:31:19,422
Do you do the drawings?
511
00:31:19,422 --> 00:31:23,385
No, no, no.
I have a fantastic guy, Harry Bliss.
512
00:31:23,385 --> 00:31:25,262
- Harry Bliss, really?
- Yeah.
513
00:31:25,262 --> 00:31:26,680
- He's great.
- He is great.
514
00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:30,642
I'm doing a memoir
of the movies but in all comic strip...
515
00:31:30,642 --> 00:31:31,977
- Wow.
- ...form.
516
00:31:31,977 --> 00:31:34,020
And we're doing some cartoons in there.
517
00:31:37,732 --> 00:31:39,568
I can't draw young Steve so much anymore,
518
00:31:39,568 --> 00:31:43,863
but the side view of Steve
kind of comes down.
519
00:31:43,863 --> 00:31:47,367
{\an8}I have to mess with his chin sometimes
because he's got a very specific--
520
00:31:47,367 --> 00:31:50,078
His ear is not huge,
doesn't have huge ears, so I have to...
521
00:31:51,329 --> 00:31:55,584
And the jaw line, too, is tricky
because it kind of comes around.
522
00:31:57,711 --> 00:32:00,046
He's got a decent Adam's apple there.
523
00:32:01,131 --> 00:32:05,677
He's a good dresser, so I always give him,
like a suit or something like that.
524
00:32:10,932 --> 00:32:13,977
I am one of the few actors
to play a sadistic dentist twice.
525
00:32:13,977 --> 00:32:16,646
Do you have Bill Murray and me
in the dentist chair?
526
00:32:20,275 --> 00:32:21,693
There's a lot of people say,
527
00:32:21,693 --> 00:32:24,279
"Steve Martin made me afraid
to go to the dentist."
528
00:32:25,572 --> 00:32:29,743
My stand-up career has a real story.
Beginning, middle and end.
529
00:32:30,577 --> 00:32:33,079
But movies, it's just anecdotes.
530
00:32:33,622 --> 00:32:35,123
So, I started thinking,
531
00:32:35,123 --> 00:32:38,168
"What's wrong with anecdotes
in cartoon form?"
532
00:32:38,168 --> 00:32:39,461
It's perfect.
533
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:43,215
The anecdote becomes worth a page,
534
00:32:43,215 --> 00:32:47,719
but it's not worth a chapter, you know?
535
00:32:48,303 --> 00:32:51,306
And that's the way I think of my career.
536
00:32:51,306 --> 00:32:52,724
I have this thing I say about this book.
537
00:32:52,724 --> 00:32:55,268
It says, "Come for the jokes,
stay for the drawing."
538
00:32:56,144 --> 00:32:58,230
I just think it has to
stick with the theme
539
00:32:58,230 --> 00:33:01,024
- that it's a memory of the movies.
- You're right.
540
00:33:01,608 --> 00:33:03,401
{\an8}Okay, this is All of Me.
541
00:33:06,363 --> 00:33:09,616
Oh, jeez. I can't move my right leg.
I'm paralyzed.
542
00:33:09,616 --> 00:33:11,243
Here, let me try.
543
00:33:12,994 --> 00:33:16,665
And that's an important movie
in my oeuvre.
544
00:33:17,165 --> 00:33:21,503
I think there are
at least five anecdotes...
545
00:33:21,503 --> 00:33:24,130
- That we have to put back.
- ...that should be in the book,
546
00:33:24,130 --> 00:33:25,799
that I've done nothing with.
547
00:33:25,799 --> 00:33:28,134
Don't take the cork off the fork.
548
00:33:29,135 --> 00:33:31,054
Why is the cork on the fork?
549
00:33:31,054 --> 00:33:34,266
To prevent him hurting himself,
and others.
550
00:33:35,559 --> 00:33:36,518
This is all good.
551
00:33:36,518 --> 00:33:38,562
See, you look like Tommy Lee Jones here.
552
00:33:38,562 --> 00:33:41,022
I look like I'm grinning at Michael Caine.
553
00:33:41,022 --> 00:33:42,482
I think I can fix that.
554
00:33:42,482 --> 00:33:44,943
- Oh, Parenthood, I think is relevant.
- Definitely.
555
00:33:46,403 --> 00:33:48,488
- Fuck. I forgot that.
- You forgot that one, yeah.
556
00:33:48,488 --> 00:33:51,575
It's hilarious, because I'll wake up,
557
00:33:51,575 --> 00:33:54,536
and I will get an e-mail
from him at 4:00 a.m.
558
00:33:54,536 --> 00:33:55,996
that'll have a cartoon idea,
559
00:33:55,996 --> 00:33:59,082
and I'll think,
"Oh, that works perfect."
560
00:33:59,082 --> 00:34:01,042
And by the way,
I think we need some more strips.
561
00:34:01,710 --> 00:34:03,670
We need, like, two or three more.
562
00:34:06,256 --> 00:34:07,591
If I have the time.
563
00:34:07,591 --> 00:34:09,300
- I'll get you time.
- It's the time, that's all I need.
564
00:34:09,300 --> 00:34:11,135
- What is it? What is the time?
- We'll make it work.
565
00:34:11,135 --> 00:34:14,139
Well, we're midway through September.
I can knock out another strip.
566
00:34:14,139 --> 00:34:16,807
You just knock out another strip.
567
00:34:18,059 --> 00:34:19,769
Okay, I'm looking at Roxanne.
568
00:34:19,769 --> 00:34:21,521
I think there's more on Roxanne,
isn't there?
569
00:34:21,521 --> 00:34:23,064
- There is.
- The writing of it?
570
00:34:23,064 --> 00:34:24,441
- Yeah.
- Yes, yes, yes.
571
00:34:28,862 --> 00:34:31,197
You know, I'd co-written The Jerk.
572
00:34:31,197 --> 00:34:35,242
Co-written Man With Two Brains
and Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid.
573
00:34:36,494 --> 00:34:40,164
But co-writing is different,
it's pitching.
574
00:34:41,124 --> 00:34:43,793
{\an8}And so, when I got to Roxanne,
I thought...
575
00:34:43,793 --> 00:34:45,378
{\an8}"Gee, I wonder if I could do that?"
576
00:34:49,007 --> 00:34:51,927
But what's the point of me
doing another Cyrano de Bergerac?
577
00:34:51,927 --> 00:34:54,012
It's already really good.
578
00:34:55,180 --> 00:34:58,475
"Hello, darling.
Haven't seen you in a while."
579
00:35:01,937 --> 00:35:05,732
I realized what I was responding to
was the longing.
580
00:35:08,485 --> 00:35:11,780
I was just wondering if
what I wrote to you touched you?
581
00:35:12,447 --> 00:35:13,615
It did.
582
00:35:16,409 --> 00:35:18,954
I am in orbit around you.
583
00:35:19,704 --> 00:35:22,165
I'm suspended weightless over you.
584
00:35:22,165 --> 00:35:25,293
Like, like the blue man in the Chagall.
585
00:35:26,086 --> 00:35:31,341
Just hovering,
hanging over you in a delirious kiss.
586
00:35:33,802 --> 00:35:37,138
Longing is actually a theme I see
in a lot of your writing.
587
00:35:39,182 --> 00:35:40,934
I don't know how to describe it.
588
00:35:40,934 --> 00:35:43,979
It's kind of always been
a part of my life.
589
00:35:45,438 --> 00:35:49,609
Even with The Jerk,
or Pennies From Heaven.
590
00:35:50,902 --> 00:35:54,030
But I wanna live in a world
where the songs come true.
591
00:35:55,198 --> 00:35:58,326
There must be some place
where them songs are for real.
592
00:35:59,411 --> 00:36:01,454
I mean, even Bowfinger has longing.
593
00:36:02,372 --> 00:36:05,625
It's a guy trying to make it in the world.
594
00:36:06,334 --> 00:36:10,547
His ultimate satisfaction at the end
is he gets a FedEx package.
595
00:36:14,301 --> 00:36:16,428
There's a melancholy.
596
00:36:16,428 --> 00:36:19,014
It's a bittersweet chocolate bar. It's...
597
00:36:20,223 --> 00:36:22,767
It's Hershey's Special Dark,
it's not milk.
598
00:36:24,561 --> 00:36:28,398
There is a longing at the center of...
599
00:36:29,441 --> 00:36:32,193
...pretty much everybody he shows us.
600
00:36:37,949 --> 00:36:40,285
And the only person who can fix it
601
00:36:40,285 --> 00:36:42,329
is Martin Short.
602
00:36:45,999 --> 00:36:50,921
I'm gonna take you on a little,
beautiful, mini-tour of Santa Barbara.
603
00:36:52,339 --> 00:36:55,217
- This is the old Magic Cabaret.
- Wow.
604
00:36:55,217 --> 00:36:57,010
- You know what the Magic Castle is?
- Yeah.
605
00:36:57,010 --> 00:37:00,347
Well, this was a version of it
by the original creators.
606
00:37:00,347 --> 00:37:04,476
And I used to love to go there,
and then COVID closed it.
607
00:37:05,435 --> 00:37:07,020
- It's a good story.
- Yeah.
608
00:37:07,896 --> 00:37:10,440
- It needs a middle and an end.
- Yeah.
609
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:12,776
And then I would have a really good story.
610
00:37:14,945 --> 00:37:18,615
You've really mapped out a day.
We're gonna pick up your laundry.
611
00:37:18,615 --> 00:37:20,200
- No, I'm dropping off.
- Drop it off.
612
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:21,493
Which is just...
613
00:37:21,493 --> 00:37:22,535
Red light, red light.
614
00:37:22,535 --> 00:37:24,955
I can turn right on a red light.
It's California.
615
00:37:24,955 --> 00:37:27,832
Don't you have a score of servants
to take your laundry over?
616
00:37:27,832 --> 00:37:30,168
- No.
- So you're really of the people?
617
00:37:30,168 --> 00:37:31,753
- Yes.
- Wow.
618
00:37:32,462 --> 00:37:36,216
Actually, I'm just doing this for camera.
It's the first time in 27 years.
619
00:37:36,883 --> 00:37:39,177
- Here you go. Thank you.
- Thank you. Bye-bye.
620
00:37:42,347 --> 00:37:45,058
You consider yourself a good driver?
621
00:37:45,058 --> 00:37:47,060
- Yes.
- A safe one?
622
00:37:47,060 --> 00:37:48,478
You know, as you get older,
623
00:37:48,478 --> 00:37:52,357
you either become your worst self
or your best self.
624
00:37:52,357 --> 00:37:54,943
- That is absolutely true.
- Is that a parking space?
625
00:37:54,943 --> 00:37:57,445
And I've become a better driver.
626
00:37:57,445 --> 00:38:01,366
I've become nicer. Kinder.
627
00:38:01,366 --> 00:38:02,617
More open.
628
00:38:03,076 --> 00:38:04,828
Yeah, because for about 50 years there,
629
00:38:04,828 --> 00:38:06,705
- you were a real prick.
- I know, yeah.
630
00:38:16,882 --> 00:38:19,634
I got Roger about, almost five years ago,
631
00:38:19,634 --> 00:38:23,722
and I was dating a woman who had a Lab.
632
00:38:23,722 --> 00:38:25,557
You wanna get it? Sit.
633
00:38:26,433 --> 00:38:29,895
And then the girl and I broke up,
and I ended up with Roger.
634
00:38:30,645 --> 00:38:32,606
Go get the toy. Go on. Yes!
635
00:38:33,481 --> 00:38:36,526
Go get it! Go! Good.
636
00:38:36,526 --> 00:38:39,863
Well, I wouldn't compare it
to a human relationship,
637
00:38:39,863 --> 00:38:43,742
but it's certainly a beautiful
one-way relationship.
638
00:38:46,411 --> 00:38:51,207
Back then, I wasn't mean with people,
I was removed.
639
00:38:51,917 --> 00:38:54,711
I was always somewhere else in my head.
640
00:38:55,921 --> 00:38:58,215
"A personal letter from Steve Martin.
641
00:38:58,215 --> 00:38:59,883
- Dear..."
-"Jerry."
642
00:38:59,883 --> 00:39:02,010
"What a pleasure it was
to receive a letter from you.
643
00:39:02,010 --> 00:39:03,803
Although my schedule is very busy,
644
00:39:03,803 --> 00:39:06,389
I decided to take time out
to write you a personal reply.
645
00:39:06,973 --> 00:39:09,309
Too often, performers lose contact
with their audience
646
00:39:09,309 --> 00:39:10,894
and begin to take them for granted,
647
00:39:10,894 --> 00:39:13,730
but I don't think that will ever
happen to me, will it..."
648
00:39:13,730 --> 00:39:14,856
"Jerry"?
649
00:39:14,856 --> 00:39:16,983
"I don't know when I'll be
appearing close to you,
650
00:39:16,983 --> 00:39:19,611
but keep that extra bunk made up
in case I get to..."
651
00:39:19,611 --> 00:39:20,654
"Flint."
652
00:39:20,654 --> 00:39:23,156
"Sincerely, Steve Martin.
653
00:39:23,156 --> 00:39:27,410
P.S. I'll always cherish that afternoon
we spent together in Rio,
654
00:39:27,410 --> 00:39:29,663
walking along the beach, looking at..."
655
00:39:29,663 --> 00:39:30,747
"rocks."
656
00:39:34,125 --> 00:39:36,044
Okay, if you type in,
657
00:39:36,586 --> 00:39:41,341
"Steve hasn't missed a step,
because at his age he only uses ramps."
658
00:39:43,426 --> 00:39:46,304
We're on page 37 out of 117.
659
00:39:46,304 --> 00:39:47,889
Look, we can do it any way you want.
660
00:39:47,889 --> 00:39:51,685
Obviously, to me, it seems like
you go through the raw stuff.
661
00:39:51,685 --> 00:39:53,853
You put it in the script,
and then we go through the--
662
00:39:53,853 --> 00:39:56,398
Yeah, but there's so much.
Are we gonna go through another 100 pages?
663
00:39:58,692 --> 00:40:04,281
"Only thing that keeps Marty
out of the Oscar In Memoriam...
664
00:40:04,906 --> 00:40:07,033
...is no good films."
665
00:40:08,577 --> 00:40:12,038
"There was not one person
who was surprised at Marty's success.
666
00:40:12,038 --> 00:40:14,124
- There were millions."
- No.
667
00:40:14,124 --> 00:40:18,545
"Thanks to good diet and exercise,
Marty outlived his career by 30 years."
668
00:40:18,670 --> 00:40:20,380
That's not bad. Let me put that in blue.
669
00:40:20,380 --> 00:40:21,798
"Steve and I are a great team.
670
00:40:21,798 --> 00:40:24,718
We go together like
Ben Affleck and looking sad."
671
00:40:24,718 --> 00:40:26,261
I know, I like that one.
672
00:40:27,512 --> 00:40:31,057
"Steve's just a few years away
from being fed like a baby bird."
673
00:40:32,851 --> 00:40:35,020
That's funny. Put that in red, anyway.
674
00:40:35,896 --> 00:40:38,940
"Steve writes, plays the banjo
and writes cartoon strips.
675
00:40:38,940 --> 00:40:40,775
He's already the biggest entertainer--
676
00:40:40,775 --> 00:40:44,195
That makes him
the biggest entertainer of 1945."
677
00:40:45,864 --> 00:40:47,407
I never thought that was that strong.
678
00:40:47,407 --> 00:40:48,950
- Really?
- Does it get a laugh?
679
00:40:48,950 --> 00:40:49,993
Yeah.
680
00:40:50,785 --> 00:40:52,078
Well, then it's strong.
681
00:40:53,580 --> 00:40:55,498
These are terrible. I mean, but great.
682
00:40:55,498 --> 00:41:00,003
"He has the sex appeal of a hot dog burp
trapped in a face mask."
683
00:41:04,549 --> 00:41:06,259
"A hot dog burp."
684
00:41:10,180 --> 00:41:11,473
Tell you what I did last night.
685
00:41:11,473 --> 00:41:15,268
I drove down Sunset Boulevard
to get to Silver Lake.
686
00:41:16,269 --> 00:41:21,816
And I realized
I was traveling through my entire life.
687
00:41:23,818 --> 00:41:26,613
Hollywood Boulevard,
where I went when I was 16.
688
00:41:27,322 --> 00:41:30,951
{\an8}Movie theaters that I went to,
the magic shops.
689
00:41:32,327 --> 00:41:34,663
There's me, oh, my gosh.
690
00:41:35,956 --> 00:41:40,502
I went through my movie life,
I went through locations for The Jerk.
691
00:41:41,002 --> 00:41:43,046
There's where we shot The Jerk, there,
that house.
692
00:41:43,046 --> 00:41:47,133
Well, Mom, remember my dream
of owning a big house on a hill?
693
00:41:47,634 --> 00:41:49,261
Well, I got that too.
694
00:41:51,096 --> 00:41:55,475
But the whole drive was so nostalgic.
695
00:41:55,475 --> 00:41:57,435
But that's the thing about LA
that's so interesting.
696
00:41:57,435 --> 00:42:00,522
I mean, it reflects your personal history,
697
00:42:00,522 --> 00:42:03,775
but just taking a drive,
almost anywhere through LA,
698
00:42:03,775 --> 00:42:07,988
it's like an archaeological dig here,
and even though it's not very old.
699
00:42:07,988 --> 00:42:11,783
Yeah, I always kinda made fun of it,
because nothing matched.
700
00:42:11,783 --> 00:42:12,701
- Right.
- You know?
701
00:42:12,701 --> 00:42:15,036
That's what we love about LA.
702
00:42:15,036 --> 00:42:16,913
It's just so sweet.
703
00:42:21,418 --> 00:42:22,544
Architecture.
704
00:42:22,544 --> 00:42:25,922
{\an8}Some of these buildings
are over 20 years old.
705
00:42:25,922 --> 00:42:28,091
This house over here is Greek Revival.
706
00:42:28,091 --> 00:42:30,969
And they have to revive the Greek
every morning who lives in it.
707
00:42:30,969 --> 00:42:33,305
And here's a Tudor mansion, and...
708
00:42:33,930 --> 00:42:35,390
...a four-door mansion.
709
00:42:35,765 --> 00:42:37,309
You know, you're really nobody in LA
710
00:42:37,309 --> 00:42:40,478
unless you live in a house
with a really big door.
711
00:42:43,189 --> 00:42:45,400
Three, two, one...
712
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:46,693
Action, dolly.
713
00:42:46,693 --> 00:42:49,863
Sheila has been studying
the art of conversation.
714
00:42:49,863 --> 00:42:52,198
You're taking a course
in conversation?
715
00:42:52,198 --> 00:42:53,283
Yes.
716
00:42:58,788 --> 00:43:02,751
So, how did LA Story come out of
what you were thinking about at the time?
717
00:43:03,209 --> 00:43:05,253
Well, I think of it as artistic thread.
718
00:43:05,962 --> 00:43:09,507
I combined my experience
with art and life.
719
00:43:10,300 --> 00:43:11,760
Martin Mull told me once, he said,
720
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:15,639
"People think artists talk about
theory and ideas,"
721
00:43:15,639 --> 00:43:18,350
and he said, "But really we just talk
about where to get paints."
722
00:43:18,350 --> 00:43:19,601
Yeah.
723
00:43:20,602 --> 00:43:22,687
I mean, each character has his own story.
724
00:43:23,230 --> 00:43:25,607
I mean, puppy is a bit too much,
but you have to overlook things like that
725
00:43:25,607 --> 00:43:27,108
in these kind of paintings.
726
00:43:28,193 --> 00:43:30,570
And then I, you know,
threw everything at that.
727
00:43:31,154 --> 00:43:33,949
My experience with love and romance.
728
00:43:33,949 --> 00:43:36,201
And it just all came together
in the movie.
729
00:43:36,201 --> 00:43:38,286
Ordinarily, I don't like to be around
interesting people
730
00:43:38,286 --> 00:43:40,330
because it means
I have to be interesting too.
731
00:43:40,330 --> 00:43:41,748
You saying I'm interesting?
732
00:43:42,540 --> 00:43:44,626
All I'm saying is that
when I'm around you,
733
00:43:44,626 --> 00:43:46,294
I find myself showing off.
734
00:43:46,294 --> 00:43:48,838
Which is the idiot's version
of being interesting.
735
00:43:51,716 --> 00:43:54,344
You're recently married.
Can you tell us where you went?
736
00:43:54,344 --> 00:43:58,390
{\an8}Oh, well, we were in Rome.
And, together, that made it so wonderful.
737
00:44:01,393 --> 00:44:05,146
LA Story was almost a vehicle
for whimsy.
738
00:44:05,981 --> 00:44:09,985
I found it very romantic,
the idea of the city lights
739
00:44:09,985 --> 00:44:12,779
communicating to help
the lovers get together.
740
00:44:13,488 --> 00:44:15,991
But that was where my head was.
741
00:44:21,246 --> 00:44:24,416
I met my wife, you know,
she just brought something into my life.
742
00:44:24,416 --> 00:44:27,043
And when you meet someone right,
everything seems calm.
743
00:44:27,043 --> 00:44:29,713
And that's essentially
what the story is about.
744
00:44:33,425 --> 00:44:36,720
I read an article in The Times
on induction and my brothers found out
745
00:44:36,720 --> 00:44:39,306
that you can generate electrical currents
in rabbits if you--
746
00:44:44,144 --> 00:44:46,605
Are you saying romance
can change your life?
747
00:44:46,605 --> 00:44:49,232
You know, this is a hugely important part
of your life.
748
00:44:50,025 --> 00:44:56,114
I think I'm saying that this
may not be the way things are.
749
00:44:57,032 --> 00:45:02,370
But isn't it nice for an hour and a half
to imagine that they were this way?
750
00:45:03,455 --> 00:45:04,831
I think I should go.
751
00:45:11,213 --> 00:45:14,507
Do you two have any plans
for the future for starting a family?
752
00:45:14,507 --> 00:45:16,343
Yeah, that's what I want to know, too.
753
00:45:21,431 --> 00:45:23,016
I have to answer!
754
00:45:26,061 --> 00:45:28,688
The way it works is they ask a question
and then you answer.
755
00:45:33,985 --> 00:45:36,613
This is going to look great
on the transcript of our program.
756
00:45:37,530 --> 00:45:38,782
"A shrug."
757
00:45:41,409 --> 00:45:44,704
When I married Victoria Tennant,
I liked her a lot.
758
00:45:44,704 --> 00:45:49,417
She was really funny,
very amusing and very smart,
759
00:45:49,417 --> 00:45:50,835
you know, and English.
760
00:45:52,671 --> 00:45:56,633
It was a relationship that just
kind of defaulted into a romance.
761
00:45:56,633 --> 00:45:58,134
- We're best friends.
- Best friends?
762
00:45:58,134 --> 00:46:00,804
- Since when is Roland your best friend?
- He and I are very close.
763
00:46:00,804 --> 00:46:03,265
And also a part of it was,
"I guess I should get married."
764
00:46:04,099 --> 00:46:06,977
Which is not a good reason.
There's just no way to force it.
765
00:46:06,977 --> 00:46:07,894
I do.
766
00:46:09,437 --> 00:46:12,065
Going away and living in a hotel
for three months,
767
00:46:12,065 --> 00:46:14,651
it's just almost like a bachelor life.
768
00:46:14,651 --> 00:46:18,029
You can't really conduct a marriage
in a hotel room.
769
00:46:18,613 --> 00:46:20,949
I always felt like
with romantic relationships,
770
00:46:20,949 --> 00:46:23,285
something was just about to go wrong.
771
00:46:25,078 --> 00:46:26,204
You know?
772
00:46:33,795 --> 00:46:35,422
Where do I find that?
773
00:46:37,215 --> 00:46:38,675
"Anecdotes."
774
00:46:39,342 --> 00:46:43,179
This is a story I was writing about...
what it's like making movies.
775
00:46:45,390 --> 00:46:48,101
"A wonderful script called
Leap of Faith landed on my desk.
776
00:46:48,518 --> 00:46:49,811
I was excited.
777
00:46:49,811 --> 00:46:53,899
My character was a revivalist preacher
and heartless con man.
778
00:46:55,191 --> 00:46:59,946
My mind held visions of Burt Lancaster's
award-winning performance as Elmer Gantry.
779
00:47:01,156 --> 00:47:03,074
I prepared with great diligence,
780
00:47:03,074 --> 00:47:05,327
I learned Irish stepdancing
so my character
781
00:47:05,327 --> 00:47:08,288
could dance across the stage
filled with the spirit.
782
00:47:08,288 --> 00:47:11,583
I dyed my grey hair brown
so I would not be Steve Martin.
783
00:47:12,292 --> 00:47:16,254
I leapt across the screen spouting
page after page of fiery sermons
784
00:47:16,254 --> 00:47:19,090
and great actors populated the movie.
785
00:47:19,090 --> 00:47:23,136
I started to see visions
of awards and honors.
786
00:47:23,762 --> 00:47:27,766
But instead, the movie opened,
the first line of the first review said,
787
00:47:27,766 --> 00:47:30,810
'Watch out when Steve Martin goes
for the hair dye.'"
788
00:47:33,104 --> 00:47:36,566
{\an8}You've become, like,
you're a big deal movie star now,
789
00:47:36,566 --> 00:47:38,151
{\an8}from the days when you did stand-up.
790
00:47:38,151 --> 00:47:41,279
You've made one really nice picture
after another and you have a new one.
791
00:47:41,279 --> 00:47:43,365
You've made another movie now.
792
00:47:43,365 --> 00:47:44,574
Yeah.
793
00:47:45,825 --> 00:47:48,370
- What do you mean, "Yeah"?
- Well, here's what it is. You know, I...
794
00:47:48,370 --> 00:47:50,705
It's not the making of the movies
that I enjoy,
795
00:47:50,705 --> 00:47:53,166
it's actually the promotion that I enjoy.
796
00:47:53,959 --> 00:47:55,627
- You know, coming on the show.
- Yeah.
797
00:47:55,627 --> 00:47:56,962
And showing a clip.
798
00:47:56,962 --> 00:47:59,339
If we could just make the clips,
799
00:47:59,339 --> 00:48:02,592
you know, that would be...
that would be a great job.
800
00:48:02,592 --> 00:48:04,052
So what you're saying is,
801
00:48:04,052 --> 00:48:06,638
you're not so much interested
in the actual work of making the film,
802
00:48:06,638 --> 00:48:08,723
- it's promoting it that you really enjoy.
- I only do it
803
00:48:08,723 --> 00:48:11,977
so I can do interviews
and morning talk shows.
804
00:48:17,399 --> 00:48:19,859
So, these are my actual scripts.
805
00:48:19,859 --> 00:48:22,654
When I started making movies,
I thought, "Okay.
806
00:48:22,654 --> 00:48:26,241
I have to make 40 movies
in order to get five good ones."
807
00:48:27,117 --> 00:48:32,831
That's the way I thought because a movie
is such a circus with so much input.
808
00:48:32,831 --> 00:48:36,501
I mean, you just can't know ahead of time.
809
00:48:37,794 --> 00:48:39,838
Planes, Trains and Automobiles.
810
00:48:42,340 --> 00:48:43,717
I never did introduce myself.
811
00:48:43,717 --> 00:48:45,927
Del Griffith, American Light and Fixture,
812
00:48:45,927 --> 00:48:48,305
Director of Sales,
Shower Curtain Ring Division.
813
00:48:48,305 --> 00:48:53,059
John Candy was very sensitive
and very complex,
814
00:48:53,059 --> 00:48:56,479
and we really loved each other.
815
00:48:57,397 --> 00:48:59,858
He had a beautiful scene...
816
00:49:02,068 --> 00:49:04,946
Look, I'm not gonna read this speech,
but it's that long.
817
00:49:06,239 --> 00:49:11,411
We're at a train station and he gives
the entire explanation of his life,
818
00:49:11,411 --> 00:49:13,788
and I was opposite him.
I was like weeping...
819
00:49:14,915 --> 00:49:16,416
...as he was performing it.
820
00:49:16,917 --> 00:49:18,043
And it was all cut.
821
00:49:18,043 --> 00:49:21,254
And so I don't know why it was cut
except for tempo,
822
00:49:21,254 --> 00:49:23,548
and maybe you're at the end and
you don't want to hear a long speech.
823
00:49:23,548 --> 00:49:25,175
It was cut down to a line or two.
824
00:49:26,801 --> 00:49:28,136
I don't have a home.
825
00:49:31,556 --> 00:49:33,350
Marie's been dead for eight years.
826
00:49:35,435 --> 00:49:37,103
There was I line I loved.
827
00:49:37,103 --> 00:49:40,440
He says, "I sort of attach myself
to people from time to time
828
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:43,652
like with you,
especially around the holidays.
829
00:49:43,652 --> 00:49:46,696
I can take it in March, July, October.
830
00:49:46,696 --> 00:49:48,281
But it gets hard."
831
00:49:50,283 --> 00:49:53,370
And then he said...
"This time I couldn't let go."
832
00:50:02,754 --> 00:50:05,840
It got so frustrating.
I wanted to stop because,
833
00:50:05,840 --> 00:50:09,219
you know, you pour your heart
into these movies.
834
00:50:09,219 --> 00:50:12,305
You know, you're thinking about,
you're working hard, you're doing it.
835
00:50:12,305 --> 00:50:16,434
Then two years later, it's just another
title on the video shelf, you know?
836
00:50:18,436 --> 00:50:21,398
Mixed Nuts. I knew it was a flop.
837
00:50:21,398 --> 00:50:24,025
The tests said it was not good.
838
00:50:24,776 --> 00:50:27,946
I remember driving down
Ventura Boulevard in California
839
00:50:27,946 --> 00:50:34,035
{\an8}and the poster is my face
with a Santa hat on.
840
00:50:35,287 --> 00:50:38,206
And I thought, "This is gonna be
a hard Christmas."
841
00:50:40,750 --> 00:50:42,085
How bad could it be?
842
00:50:42,085 --> 00:50:44,963
Mixed Nuts is how bad. Very bad.
843
00:50:44,963 --> 00:50:46,840
It's bad. It's bad.
844
00:50:46,840 --> 00:50:50,719
- Whew, is it bad. It's really, really bad.
- I mean, I don't know...
845
00:50:50,719 --> 00:50:52,429
Steve, can I just
ask you a question quickly?
846
00:50:52,429 --> 00:50:54,097
- I don't really wanna talk.
- Well, it's just a question.
847
00:50:54,097 --> 00:50:55,223
You must have been asked.
848
00:50:55,223 --> 00:50:57,559
{\an8}- Please, one question.
- You're like... you're not commercial.
849
00:50:57,559 --> 00:50:58,602
{\an8}- How come...
- What's the question?
850
00:50:58,602 --> 00:51:00,228
{\an8}- The question is...
- You don't even have a question.
851
00:51:00,228 --> 00:51:01,855
How come you're not funny anymore?
852
00:51:01,855 --> 00:51:02,981
- Okay.
- Steve!
853
00:51:09,195 --> 00:51:11,573
I felt lost at that time.
854
00:51:16,077 --> 00:51:19,331
I can't go down the road with Victoria,
855
00:51:19,331 --> 00:51:24,836
but when we did get divorced,
I said, "This is not her fault."
856
00:51:24,836 --> 00:51:29,174
At most, both our faults,
and at least my fault.
857
00:51:37,307 --> 00:51:42,437
The marriage breakup was the beginning
of opening of a bottomless pit.
858
00:51:43,396 --> 00:51:46,983
I was thinking maybe
you could think about a caption.
859
00:51:48,610 --> 00:51:50,070
Well, actually, it's...
860
00:51:51,529 --> 00:51:52,739
...perfect the way it is.
861
00:51:52,739 --> 00:51:54,783
I mean, it doesn't need a caption.
862
00:51:56,701 --> 00:51:58,870
It was a... kind of a mid-life crisis.
863
00:52:01,248 --> 00:52:05,377
Like a period where you're...
You keep going, you know, like,
864
00:52:05,377 --> 00:52:08,880
to show yourself and others that you're
not a flash in the pan, you know.
865
00:52:08,880 --> 00:52:11,716
And then you show that
I'm gonna write this thing.
866
00:52:11,716 --> 00:52:13,552
And then show something else.
867
00:52:13,552 --> 00:52:16,471
You're just constantly
showing and showing and showing.
868
00:52:16,471 --> 00:52:19,683
And I used to get great, great
satisfaction from my work
869
00:52:19,683 --> 00:52:23,645
and it gave me my reason
to respect myself.
870
00:52:25,021 --> 00:52:28,567
{\an8}And I realized that
unless I was continually working,
871
00:52:28,567 --> 00:52:31,403
{\an8}I felt like people wouldn't like me.
872
00:52:32,112 --> 00:52:35,657
And there's a kind of emptiness left,
and it's traumatic.
873
00:52:41,246 --> 00:52:44,708
{\an8}I think that was a period
when I was reading the self-help books.
874
00:52:46,126 --> 00:52:47,836
{\an8}I thought you're supposed to
talk about everything.
875
00:52:47,836 --> 00:52:50,589
I would meet strangers on planes
and sit with them and tell them
876
00:52:50,589 --> 00:52:52,424
my deepest inner thoughts.
877
00:52:56,303 --> 00:52:59,055
'Cause I thought that's what
you were supposed to do.
878
00:53:03,310 --> 00:53:05,353
How to close the void.
879
00:53:06,771 --> 00:53:08,940
I think that's the nature of the...
880
00:53:09,774 --> 00:53:12,152
{\an8}...drive in art, is to...
881
00:53:12,861 --> 00:53:16,448
It comes from that deep awareness
of the void.
882
00:53:19,576 --> 00:53:22,329
When I started thinking
in terms of the theater...
883
00:53:23,288 --> 00:53:24,956
...my mind expanded.
884
00:53:25,957 --> 00:53:29,711
We should glance through
a play I wrote called WASP.
885
00:53:30,712 --> 00:53:35,091
I found myself writing things
I would never, ever write in a movie.
886
00:53:36,134 --> 00:53:39,471
And I'd say it's on the poignant side.
887
00:53:41,306 --> 00:53:44,267
WASP is about a nuclear American family
888
00:53:44,267 --> 00:53:47,604
{\an8}and the deep emotional dysfunction
that's just below the surface.
889
00:53:48,521 --> 00:53:51,233
And the famous exchange
that Steve writes about
890
00:53:51,233 --> 00:53:54,653
when his father came to see
the premiere of The Jerk,
891
00:53:54,653 --> 00:53:56,488
that's literally in WASP.
892
00:53:56,488 --> 00:53:59,407
The boy has to make
an architectural model for school.
893
00:53:59,407 --> 00:54:01,701
He shows it to his dad,
"What do you think?"
894
00:54:03,662 --> 00:54:05,288
Well, you're no Frank Lloyd Wright.
895
00:54:06,081 --> 00:54:09,501
So there's this pebble
in the shoe of this family
896
00:54:09,501 --> 00:54:13,380
that would appear to be perfectly lovely,
897
00:54:13,380 --> 00:54:16,424
that is about the deep emotional distance
898
00:54:16,424 --> 00:54:19,177
and the sort of chill
that's blowing through.
899
00:54:19,177 --> 00:54:24,015
My family, we were living
in Texas and I was five
900
00:54:24,015 --> 00:54:26,017
and my mother was desperate to move here.
901
00:54:26,851 --> 00:54:29,354
She wanted my father to go into movies.
902
00:54:29,896 --> 00:54:33,608
Then we moved to Orange County
and bought a house for 16,000 dollars.
903
00:54:35,860 --> 00:54:38,238
So he went into real estate?
904
00:54:38,238 --> 00:54:41,616
That was
the booming area to be.
905
00:54:41,616 --> 00:54:44,160
In those days,
he couldn't support a family
906
00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:46,663
on what he could make in the theater.
907
00:54:47,455 --> 00:54:49,499
I don't remember hugs.
908
00:54:50,417 --> 00:54:52,043
I don't remember affection.
909
00:54:52,961 --> 00:54:56,214
I take so much joy in my kid,
910
00:54:56,214 --> 00:55:01,219
I wondered what was going on
with my father that he didn't.
911
00:55:02,095 --> 00:55:05,223
There's these sections in WASP
where the family sits down to eat.
912
00:55:07,350 --> 00:55:09,519
A silence at the dinner table.
913
00:55:10,770 --> 00:55:13,315
The disinterest of the dad.
914
00:55:15,775 --> 00:55:21,615
I think one of the best things
I wrote, is the father.
915
00:55:23,283 --> 00:55:25,493
You know, his son wants
to buy a bicycle and he says,
916
00:55:25,493 --> 00:55:27,829
"Well, you have to work for it.
You have to pay for it."
917
00:55:27,829 --> 00:55:29,706
He said, the son,
"Well, I was kind of hoping that maybe..."
918
00:55:29,706 --> 00:55:32,167
"You see, son, a bicycle is a luxury item.
919
00:55:32,167 --> 00:55:34,044
You know what a luxury item is?"
"No."
920
00:55:34,044 --> 00:55:37,339
A luxury item is a thing you have
that annoys other people that you have it,
921
00:55:37,339 --> 00:55:40,383
like our very green lawn,
that's a luxury item.
922
00:55:40,383 --> 00:55:43,386
It could be less green, I suppose,
but that's not what it's about.
923
00:55:43,386 --> 00:55:44,721
I work on that lawn.
924
00:55:44,721 --> 00:55:47,265
Maybe more than I should.
Pour a little bit of money into it.
925
00:55:47,265 --> 00:55:51,144
But it's a luxury item for me,
out there, to annoy the others.
926
00:55:52,020 --> 00:55:54,356
I remember my father
got very mad at me
927
00:55:54,356 --> 00:55:58,568
because I bought a pair of shorts
that cost four dollars.
928
00:55:58,568 --> 00:56:00,237
And he was through the roof.
929
00:56:00,237 --> 00:56:03,114
That was a gigantic sum.
But I earned it all myself.
930
00:56:06,576 --> 00:56:11,790
But from then on, I didn't take
any money from my parents, after age ten.
931
00:56:11,915 --> 00:56:14,751
"What I'm getting at is that you
have to work for a luxury item.
932
00:56:14,751 --> 00:56:17,796
So, if you want that bicycle,
you're gonna have to work for it. Now..."
933
00:56:18,338 --> 00:56:21,216
...I have a little lot downtown
that we've owned for several years,
934
00:56:21,216 --> 00:56:23,927
and if you wanted to go down there
after school on weekends,
935
00:56:23,927 --> 00:56:28,640
and say, put up a building on it,
I think we could get you that bicycle.
936
00:56:28,640 --> 00:56:31,184
- Gosh!
- Yes, I know you're pretty excited.
937
00:56:31,184 --> 00:56:33,019
It's not easy putting up a building, son,
938
00:56:33,019 --> 00:56:35,522
but these are the ancient
traditions handed down
939
00:56:35,522 --> 00:56:38,316
from the peoples of Gondwanaland
who lived in the plains of Golgotha,
940
00:56:38,316 --> 00:56:40,277
based upon the precepts of Hammurabi,
941
00:56:40,277 --> 00:56:42,571
written in Cuneiform
on the gates of Babylon...
942
00:56:42,571 --> 00:56:45,532
"...deduced from the cryptograms
of the questioner of the Sphinx,
943
00:56:45,532 --> 00:56:48,577
and gleaned
from the incunabula of Ratdolt.
944
00:56:48,577 --> 00:56:51,580
Delivered unto me by the fleet-footed
Mercury when the reprobate..."
945
00:56:51,580 --> 00:56:53,248
Most people have a pebble in their shoe,
946
00:56:53,248 --> 00:56:55,584
they take their shoe off
and knock the pebble out.
947
00:56:55,584 --> 00:57:00,046
But artists keep the pebble there
and make art out of it.
948
00:57:00,046 --> 00:57:02,048
You know?
949
00:57:02,048 --> 00:57:05,427
Until, finally,
it stops hurting your foot so much.
950
00:57:05,427 --> 00:57:09,806
The lyrics of What a Swell Party appeared
on my living room wall in blood,
951
00:57:09,806 --> 00:57:14,895
writ there by God himself and incised
in the Holy Trowel of the Masons.
952
00:57:14,895 --> 00:57:18,523
Son, we don't get to talk that much.
953
00:57:18,523 --> 00:57:21,484
In fact, as far as I can remember,
we've never talked.
954
00:57:21,484 --> 00:57:23,737
But I was wondering, several years ago,
955
00:57:23,737 --> 00:57:26,072
and unfortunately never got around
to asking you until now,
956
00:57:26,072 --> 00:57:27,657
but I was wondering...
957
00:57:29,075 --> 00:57:30,952
...what you plan to do with your life?
958
00:57:34,539 --> 00:57:35,665
I don't know if that's any good or not.
959
00:57:35,665 --> 00:57:39,085
That is so great. It is just perfect.
960
00:57:39,628 --> 00:57:42,255
{\an8}I don't know a lot about my father.
961
00:57:42,881 --> 00:57:45,175
{\an8}But I don't think he was a good man.
962
00:57:46,092 --> 00:57:49,012
And it has haunted me my whole life.
963
00:57:49,971 --> 00:57:52,891
I wrote this... let's see, what year? '96.
964
00:57:52,891 --> 00:57:56,937
So, that's way before my autobiography.
965
00:57:56,937 --> 00:58:02,275
And I think, in a way, it's a rehearsal
for sections of the autobiography,
966
00:58:02,275 --> 00:58:04,694
for writing about my father and home life.
967
00:58:06,071 --> 00:58:08,281
Dear "Dad."
968
00:58:08,281 --> 00:58:10,992
I put the "Dad" in quotes
because when I was little,
969
00:58:10,992 --> 00:58:14,579
I was told not to call you Dad, but Glenn.
970
00:58:14,579 --> 00:58:16,915
So, I grew up without a dad.
971
00:58:16,915 --> 00:58:18,750
I grew up with a Glenn.
972
00:58:19,751 --> 00:58:23,964
Yeah, this letter starts off...
very accusatory.
973
00:58:23,964 --> 00:58:27,300
And it ends with understanding.
974
00:58:27,300 --> 00:58:31,596
Yeah, it talks about how my work
975
00:58:31,596 --> 00:58:34,933
was really trying
to get approval from him.
976
00:58:39,020 --> 00:58:41,398
My friend, Terry,
he said this at one point,
977
00:58:41,398 --> 00:58:44,526
and it kind of changed my attitude
toward my parents.
978
00:58:44,526 --> 00:58:49,281
And he said, "If you have anything
to say to your parents, say it now,
979
00:58:49,281 --> 00:58:50,699
because one day, they'll be gone."
980
00:58:52,200 --> 00:58:57,747
That's when I started methodically
going to visit them, talking to them.
981
00:58:57,747 --> 00:59:00,083
I'd take them out to lunch.
982
00:59:00,083 --> 00:59:02,419
You know, you realize what he...
what he went through.
983
00:59:02,419 --> 00:59:06,506
You know, it's a life of hopes and dreams.
984
00:59:07,591 --> 00:59:11,344
And he was under incredible stress
to support the family.
985
00:59:11,344 --> 00:59:15,015
It must have been unbelievable,
the pressure.
986
00:59:15,724 --> 00:59:17,475
My mother wanted to go to work.
987
00:59:17,475 --> 00:59:23,064
I remember my father saying to my mother,
"No wife of mine is gonna work."
988
00:59:23,064 --> 00:59:26,026
Just right out of a movie.
989
00:59:27,652 --> 00:59:31,531
I have great sympathy for my father
990
00:59:31,531 --> 00:59:36,036
not having the means to fulfill his dream.
991
00:59:38,872 --> 00:59:41,082
How do you feel about him today?
992
00:59:41,708 --> 00:59:43,335
I... I like him.
993
00:59:45,045 --> 00:59:47,631
You know, he had
a really good sense of humor.
994
00:59:49,007 --> 00:59:50,175
I had no idea.
995
00:59:51,676 --> 00:59:56,348
And... yeah, I kind of wish
I could talk to him again, you know?
996
00:59:59,059 --> 01:00:00,101
Best compliment I ever got,
997
01:00:00,101 --> 01:00:02,938
is I wrote this story
about my father in The New Yorker.
998
01:00:03,688 --> 01:00:06,691
{\an8}And I got a letter from a woman
and she said
999
01:00:08,485 --> 01:00:13,657
{\an8}"You know, I read the article and
I gave it to my husband, and he read it.
1000
01:00:15,575 --> 01:00:17,035
And then he said..."
1001
01:00:24,209 --> 01:00:25,502
Sorry.
1002
01:00:28,838 --> 01:00:31,258
Take your time. Have some water.
1003
01:00:31,258 --> 01:00:33,301
I hate that I'm on television.
1004
01:00:35,637 --> 01:00:38,265
No, "He said,
'What's our son's phone number?'"
1005
01:00:39,516 --> 01:00:40,684
Wow.
1006
01:00:43,019 --> 01:00:45,897
- Aren't we kind of winding down?
- No, we are, we're going right now.
1007
01:00:47,899 --> 01:00:49,859
If we go on, I'm gonna kill myself.
1008
01:00:56,157 --> 01:00:57,701
Should I tell you my dream?
1009
01:00:58,577 --> 01:01:05,584
I dreamed a woman took me to an open
grassy field to show me my own grave.
1010
01:01:06,167 --> 01:01:09,546
And the grave was open and there was
a skeleton laying there, my skeleton.
1011
01:01:09,546 --> 01:01:12,799
And the skeleton had
a big smile on its face.
1012
01:01:12,799 --> 01:01:15,468
And I turned to the woman and I said,
1013
01:01:15,468 --> 01:01:19,472
"Does this mean
it's possible to die happy?"
1014
01:01:19,472 --> 01:01:21,308
And she said, "Yes, it is."
1015
01:01:21,308 --> 01:01:24,644
And I said, "What do I need
in order to die happy?"
1016
01:01:24,644 --> 01:01:26,938
And she said, "Adventure."
1017
01:01:28,607 --> 01:01:33,236
{\an8}And then I said, "You mean, like,
seeing waterfalls and touring the world?"
1018
01:01:33,236 --> 01:01:35,238
{\an8}And she said, "No, people."
1019
01:01:41,369 --> 01:01:44,205
So let's practice this
'cause we gotta play this in a week.
1020
01:02:07,520 --> 01:02:11,816
When I started playing the banjo again,
after the divorce,
1021
01:02:11,816 --> 01:02:14,903
I thought, "Oh, there's
gonna be, you know, criticism."
1022
01:02:14,903 --> 01:02:16,947
There just is, you know?
1023
01:02:16,947 --> 01:02:18,156
COVID out of practice.
1024
01:02:19,783 --> 01:02:24,162
"Comedian becomes a musician,"
you can't think of anything worse.
1025
01:02:28,250 --> 01:02:29,417
- Sounds good to me.
- It's been a year and a half.
1026
01:02:29,417 --> 01:02:31,002
I know, but there's
little fluffs in there.
1027
01:02:31,002 --> 01:02:33,088
I don't want Béla Fleck to hear this.
1028
01:02:33,547 --> 01:02:34,714
And there wasn't.
1029
01:03:00,657 --> 01:03:04,911
If there's a thread running through
all of the things that Steve values,
1030
01:03:04,911 --> 01:03:08,832
it's the thread of the difficulty
of accomplishment.
1031
01:03:10,458 --> 01:03:14,713
The kind of personality that just
takes delight in mastering something,
1032
01:03:14,713 --> 01:03:19,009
going deep into its mechanics until you
really understand how the thing works
1033
01:03:19,009 --> 01:03:21,928
and then discarding it, very often,
because you've mastered it.
1034
01:03:27,392 --> 01:03:30,228
You know, when I hear you
play the banjo...
1035
01:03:31,438 --> 01:03:35,233
...I now regret that I didn't keep up
with my first love
1036
01:03:35,233 --> 01:03:36,651
of a musical instrument
1037
01:03:36,651 --> 01:03:38,153
because we could have really teamed.
1038
01:03:38,153 --> 01:03:40,113
- What was it?
- The jug.
1039
01:04:00,342 --> 01:04:02,552
Bachelor number two.
Complete this sentence.
1040
01:04:03,470 --> 01:04:05,764
"This may sound a little weird, but..."
1041
01:04:06,640 --> 01:04:08,308
"I'm naked right now."
1042
01:04:08,308 --> 01:04:09,434
That's--
1043
01:04:14,856 --> 01:04:19,027
{\an8}We used to always vacation
in St. Barts with him.
1044
01:04:19,778 --> 01:04:23,365
And it was just like me
and Eric and Steve going down there.
1045
01:04:24,616 --> 01:04:26,409
Single Steve didn't
want to be single Steve.
1046
01:04:26,409 --> 01:04:28,411
I mean, that's for sure.
1047
01:04:29,246 --> 01:04:32,290
You know, he'd meet some woman,
and if she was reading a book,
1048
01:04:32,290 --> 01:04:34,876
he'd think, "Maybe we should go out."
1049
01:04:35,794 --> 01:04:36,878
Hi.
1050
01:04:38,088 --> 01:04:41,508
I was just noticing that book
you're reading, Mayor of Casterbridge.
1051
01:04:41,508 --> 01:04:42,676
That's really a coincidence,
1052
01:04:42,676 --> 01:04:45,345
because I did my final term paper
on Thomas Hardy my senior--
1053
01:04:45,345 --> 01:04:47,389
How long have you been a lonely guy?
1054
01:04:54,479 --> 01:04:57,357
I wanna meet someone I can talk to,
just get to know.
1055
01:04:57,357 --> 01:04:58,567
Cheers.
1056
01:05:02,654 --> 01:05:04,531
I can't help but be nervous out here.
1057
01:05:04,531 --> 01:05:06,283
Why? You're not doing anything wrong.
1058
01:05:10,453 --> 01:05:12,122
Do you like walks in the park?
1059
01:05:12,122 --> 01:05:13,415
- In the rain!
- Oh, God!
1060
01:05:13,415 --> 01:05:15,500
You know what, I want you
to see The Music Man.
1061
01:05:15,500 --> 01:05:16,918
- Because--
- I've seen that, I love The Music Man!
1062
01:05:16,918 --> 01:05:18,962
I remember one date I had with a woman.
1063
01:05:24,050 --> 01:05:28,972
And we went to dinner and she sat
next to Steven Spielberg.
1064
01:05:28,972 --> 01:05:32,017
And they seemed to hit it off well.
1065
01:05:32,017 --> 01:05:35,562
And this woman liked to always,
to kind of, be in an argument.
1066
01:05:37,147 --> 01:05:39,357
Which is not my personality.
1067
01:05:42,611 --> 01:05:44,571
And so we're driving home, she said,
1068
01:05:44,571 --> 01:05:47,198
"Why can't you be
more like Steven Spielberg?"
1069
01:05:47,198 --> 01:05:48,783
Smile, you son of a...
1070
01:05:55,165 --> 01:05:58,418
I just thought,
"Okay, so that's the end of that."
1071
01:06:08,929 --> 01:06:11,306
- That's a... that's a good thing.
- Everyone underbid.
1072
01:06:11,306 --> 01:06:12,641
I'm just gonna...
1073
01:06:12,641 --> 01:06:14,100
Things will happen.
1074
01:06:29,282 --> 01:06:30,367
I play mad.
1075
01:06:30,367 --> 01:06:31,701
Just getting mean over there.
1076
01:06:31,701 --> 01:06:34,663
I got... I never would have
said three in my life.
1077
01:06:36,414 --> 01:06:37,415
Two.
1078
01:06:38,541 --> 01:06:40,085
- One under?
- One under.
1079
01:06:41,503 --> 01:06:44,965
With the exception of Anne,
this is truly...
1080
01:06:46,049 --> 01:06:47,634
...elderly people playing cards.
1081
01:06:47,634 --> 01:06:50,095
Can't take your time, come on.
1082
01:06:50,095 --> 01:06:51,888
Yeah, but who's doing
all the elderly talking?
1083
01:06:51,888 --> 01:06:56,726
I'm like a young, kind of
improvisational whip.
1084
01:06:57,394 --> 01:07:00,105
And you're the one who,
"That's not the way you count! You go..."
1085
01:07:00,105 --> 01:07:03,191
-"You go one..."
- It's The Odd Couple.
1086
01:07:03,191 --> 01:07:04,234
- I know.
- Yeah.
1087
01:07:05,110 --> 01:07:09,281
I'll tell you one thing I've learned...
from this.
1088
01:07:09,281 --> 01:07:12,367
I do not want to be
a documentary filmmaker.
1089
01:07:12,367 --> 01:07:14,536
The idea of having to sit here
1090
01:07:14,536 --> 01:07:20,792
and find one tiny something
that's worthwhile in the middle--
1091
01:07:23,169 --> 01:07:25,338
So, how did you meet Anne?
1092
01:07:27,632 --> 01:07:30,010
It's so funny because
at first you're filling in the blanks,
1093
01:07:30,010 --> 01:07:32,721
- 'cause I only met her on the...
- Telephone. Yeah.
1094
01:07:32,721 --> 01:07:36,057
I was... I was working as a fact checker
at The New Yorker.
1095
01:07:36,725 --> 01:07:39,144
The first thing I checked
by him was a story
1096
01:07:39,144 --> 01:07:43,273
where somebody gets a parking ticket
that spirals completely out of control.
1097
01:07:43,273 --> 01:07:44,691
You know, I called him up and I said,
1098
01:07:44,691 --> 01:07:48,445
"Okay, I know that this is comedy.
I know it's not meant to be realistic,
1099
01:07:48,445 --> 01:07:50,947
but if you want
to make it completely accurate,
1100
01:07:50,947 --> 01:07:52,866
here's what we could do." And he said,
1101
01:07:52,866 --> 01:07:56,703
"Absolutely. Let's make it
completely accurate and also ridiculous."
1102
01:07:57,329 --> 01:07:59,539
And then I, kind of,
became his regular person.
1103
01:08:00,290 --> 01:08:05,295
He wrote something about his family,
which was, you know, really personal.
1104
01:08:05,295 --> 01:08:09,174
I talked to his sister, Melinda.
I talked to all these people about this,
1105
01:08:09,174 --> 01:08:12,802
and we got to be very friendly
on the telephone.
1106
01:08:13,929 --> 01:08:18,475
I remember telling my shrink that
there's this woman that sticks in my head.
1107
01:08:19,893 --> 01:08:24,438
We were in St. Barts
and he spent that whole vacation going,
1108
01:08:24,438 --> 01:08:29,527
"Anne Stringfield, Anne Stringfield.
Don't you just love that name?"
1109
01:08:29,986 --> 01:08:33,531
A few months after that, he invited me
to a group lunch he was having.
1110
01:08:33,531 --> 01:08:35,283
We both arrived early,
1111
01:08:35,283 --> 01:08:37,953
and I'd brought the New York Times
crossword puzzle with me,
1112
01:08:37,953 --> 01:08:40,664
thinking I'll be the first person there
and I'll sit and do my puzzle.
1113
01:08:41,790 --> 01:08:44,584
He was already there doing
the New York Times crossword puzzle.
1114
01:08:47,837 --> 01:08:49,923
There's probably a short list
of people who think,
1115
01:08:49,923 --> 01:08:53,009
"Magic tricks, banjo.
That's the guy for me."
1116
01:08:53,009 --> 01:08:55,762
But I'm... I'm on that list.
1117
01:08:57,973 --> 01:09:00,267
He's got one that's a two-card trick.
1118
01:09:02,102 --> 01:09:04,771
The backs and the fronts, two cards.
1119
01:09:04,771 --> 01:09:07,857
I think it's one of the most
beautiful things I've ever seen,
1120
01:09:07,857 --> 01:09:10,569
and I still don't completely
understand how it's done.
1121
01:09:10,694 --> 01:09:13,655
What I'm gonna do is take this card...
1122
01:09:15,865 --> 01:09:20,829
...fold it in half like this
so the face is on the outside.
1123
01:09:22,163 --> 01:09:23,873
And I'll take this card...
1124
01:09:25,125 --> 01:09:26,585
...and fold it in half...
1125
01:09:28,128 --> 01:09:30,297
...so the face is on the outside.
1126
01:09:30,297 --> 01:09:32,173
Slide that in like that.
1127
01:09:33,049 --> 01:09:36,011
Little clumsy, I haven't done it in years.
1128
01:09:36,011 --> 01:09:41,308
Now we have the back on the outside
and the face on the inside.
1129
01:09:41,308 --> 01:09:44,018
Now, here's the amazing part.
1130
01:09:45,395 --> 01:09:47,647
If you take the card
and you push it through...
1131
01:09:49,232 --> 01:09:50,609
...you see the card turns over.
1132
01:09:50,609 --> 01:09:55,113
There's the back on the inside,
and it's the whole card.
1133
01:09:55,113 --> 01:09:57,365
Entire card, I should say. Turn this over.
1134
01:09:58,325 --> 01:10:01,786
Do it again. Push through.
1135
01:10:03,121 --> 01:10:07,500
Card turns over.
And again, the entire card.
1136
01:10:08,919 --> 01:10:11,463
The amazing part of this...
1137
01:10:12,881 --> 01:10:18,136
The only part that turns over
is the part that has passed through.
1138
01:10:19,804 --> 01:10:21,014
So...
1139
01:10:22,974 --> 01:10:25,769
Here's the part that has passed through,
1140
01:10:25,769 --> 01:10:27,812
and here's the part that hasn't.
1141
01:10:32,108 --> 01:10:33,652
You know, you can...
1142
01:10:34,569 --> 01:10:35,737
There you go.
1143
01:10:38,907 --> 01:10:42,077
Somebody taught me that in Florida.
I was at a club.
1144
01:10:42,077 --> 01:10:46,248
He showed me that and I was boggled.
1145
01:10:46,248 --> 01:10:47,707
And he said,
"I'll show you how to do it."
1146
01:10:47,707 --> 01:10:49,542
And then he showed me how to do it,
1147
01:10:49,542 --> 01:10:51,628
and I still didn't understand
how it was done.
1148
01:10:56,383 --> 01:10:58,969
Later this month in New York,
there's a show of Steve's at the Met.
1149
01:10:58,969 --> 01:11:01,221
These are Ming...
No, I'm sorry, Chinese ceramics.
1150
01:11:01,221 --> 01:11:03,348
Chinese ceramics.
Ming is a part of that.
1151
01:11:03,348 --> 01:11:05,725
Yeah. And, is it safe or fair
1152
01:11:05,725 --> 01:11:07,602
to ask you what these things...
the price of them?
1153
01:11:07,602 --> 01:11:10,355
Well, I usually don't like to talk
about the value of things
1154
01:11:10,355 --> 01:11:12,566
because people start looking at something
1155
01:11:12,566 --> 01:11:15,235
and they're only looking
at what it's worth, you know?
1156
01:11:15,235 --> 01:11:17,862
Like a great painting, it's worth
four million dollars or something.
1157
01:11:17,862 --> 01:11:21,616
So, I just like to...
I just say they start around 300,000
1158
01:11:21,616 --> 01:11:25,537
and go to a million, or even two.
1159
01:11:25,537 --> 01:11:27,789
Two million dollars? That's unbelievable.
1160
01:11:27,789 --> 01:11:29,332
Yeah. Yeah they're going by--
1161
01:11:29,332 --> 01:11:31,710
For example, this piece back...
Oh, Christ.
1162
01:11:35,839 --> 01:11:38,216
He's got a great eye.
Do you know about the thing at the...
1163
01:11:38,925 --> 01:11:41,553
...maybe Mark Twain Prize?
It was something in Washington, DC.
1164
01:11:41,553 --> 01:11:45,140
And we were all at--
You know, there was a dinner... at the...
1165
01:11:47,142 --> 01:11:48,852
See this is why I'm not the person
to tell you this story,
1166
01:11:48,852 --> 01:11:50,687
but somebody else will tell you this story
and it will be better.
1167
01:11:50,687 --> 01:11:53,982
So, there's a dinner
at the National Gallery, all right?
1168
01:11:53,982 --> 01:11:58,069
{\an8}The evening before, he's awarded
the Kennedy Honors and about 200 people,
1169
01:11:58,069 --> 01:12:01,489
there's a big dinner,
and the paintings are all around the wall.
1170
01:12:01,489 --> 01:12:04,200
And a lady stands up and says,
"Thing about Steve, you'll never notice,
1171
01:12:04,200 --> 01:12:08,747
I bet you he could name
every single painter on the wall here."
1172
01:12:08,747 --> 01:12:10,582
And Steve stood up.
1173
01:12:11,625 --> 01:12:13,168
And he started to go around the wall.
1174
01:12:13,168 --> 01:12:17,172
"Hopkins, Watkinson, Wilkins, July."
1175
01:12:17,172 --> 01:12:21,384
And he went round and he named
every single painter on the wall,
1176
01:12:21,384 --> 01:12:24,846
all the way round the National...
the gallery.
1177
01:12:24,846 --> 01:12:27,349
It was an extraordinary feat.
1178
01:12:29,476 --> 01:12:32,562
What place in your life
does art occupy today?
1179
01:12:32,562 --> 01:12:37,192
It's definitely, I'd say, third.
1180
01:12:39,110 --> 01:12:42,614
Wife and family, and there's performance.
1181
01:12:42,614 --> 01:12:45,909
Writing, our thing.
You know, artistic life.
1182
01:12:45,909 --> 01:12:47,744
And this is a good...
1183
01:12:48,703 --> 01:12:52,916
...hobby that is very diverting, you know?
1184
01:12:52,916 --> 01:12:54,501
Where was it before?
1185
01:12:54,501 --> 01:12:55,919
First.
1186
01:12:57,963 --> 01:13:00,298
{\an8}You like to sit down and look at these
and now you're sharing them.
1187
01:13:00,298 --> 01:13:01,883
{\an8}What about that?
1188
01:13:02,467 --> 01:13:05,011
You know, it's very personal,
it's very private and...
1189
01:13:05,011 --> 01:13:06,763
except maybe... up till now.
1190
01:13:08,932 --> 01:13:13,812
What changed is I met my wife.
1191
01:13:21,236 --> 01:13:24,739
My private self was able
to go somewhere else.
1192
01:13:27,576 --> 01:13:32,998
This art thing could then be free
to not be my salvation.
1193
01:13:35,083 --> 01:13:37,669
You are absolutely wonderful.
You do all this art,
1194
01:13:37,669 --> 01:13:39,296
and that's just to impress people,
to show people
1195
01:13:39,296 --> 01:13:41,590
- that you're not just a comic?
- Yes, that's right.
1196
01:13:41,590 --> 01:13:43,633
I've always wanted to ask you that.
People said ask him that
1197
01:13:43,633 --> 01:13:46,094
and I think,
"Why? We all know the answer."
1198
01:13:46,094 --> 01:13:47,387
Who's de Kooning?
1199
01:13:47,387 --> 01:13:49,931
De Kooning is
an important American--
1200
01:13:49,931 --> 01:13:51,558
Did you see the movie, Pollock?
1201
01:13:53,727 --> 01:13:54,769
Did you see the movie,
1202
01:13:54,769 --> 01:13:56,980
The Agony and the Ecstasy,
about Michelangelo?
1203
01:13:56,980 --> 01:13:59,649
I saw Madame X with Lana Turner.
1204
01:13:59,649 --> 01:14:02,694
And in the background,
there was a wonderful abstract painting
1205
01:14:02,694 --> 01:14:04,446
that everyone pretended to care about.
1206
01:14:04,446 --> 01:14:07,657
And I think that that was a de Kooning.
1207
01:14:11,411 --> 01:14:14,080
"I lost interest in movies
at exactly the same time
1208
01:14:14,080 --> 01:14:15,707
the movies lost interest in me.
1209
01:14:15,707 --> 01:14:18,793
After four decades,
I had finally exhausted my movie intrigue,
1210
01:14:18,793 --> 01:14:21,213
that deep belief that
justified the investment of time,
1211
01:14:21,213 --> 01:14:23,465
that buffered
the periodic stinging reviews,
1212
01:14:23,465 --> 01:14:25,592
that protected me against the judgment
of the box office.
1213
01:14:25,592 --> 01:14:27,260
And eventually you run out of gas.
1214
01:14:27,260 --> 01:14:29,304
Goodbye, movies, we had a great time."
1215
01:14:30,597 --> 01:14:32,766
I love that one. I love that last line.
1216
01:14:32,766 --> 01:14:36,311
It could just be written
with little marginalia.
1217
01:14:36,311 --> 01:14:37,646
- Gotta have it.
- Waving goodbye.
1218
01:14:37,646 --> 01:14:38,855
Gotta have it in there.
1219
01:14:39,272 --> 01:14:41,733
We still haven't landed on a title.
1220
01:14:42,567 --> 01:14:44,903
- I thought we had.
- Have we landed a hundred percent?
1221
01:14:44,903 --> 01:14:47,405
"Memories of the Movies
and Other Diversions."
1222
01:14:47,405 --> 01:14:50,116
What happened
to "Number One is Walking" or...
1223
01:14:50,116 --> 01:14:51,826
- That was an option.
- Yeah.
1224
01:14:51,826 --> 01:14:53,078
Number One is Walking.
1225
01:14:53,078 --> 01:14:56,915
I still like the idea of you in the...
the rubbery pose.
1226
01:14:56,915 --> 01:14:58,833
Yeah, I do too and...
1227
01:14:58,833 --> 01:15:00,627
It's a book about your movie career.
1228
01:15:00,627 --> 01:15:03,755
That's what people think, you know,
it's gonna be a big identifying...
1229
01:15:03,755 --> 01:15:05,423
Now I'm learning what people think of me.
1230
01:15:07,676 --> 01:15:08,510
Exactly.
1231
01:15:08,510 --> 01:15:10,136
- That's exactly right. Yeah.
- You know...
1232
01:15:10,136 --> 01:15:11,638
It is. Take a picture.
1233
01:15:11,638 --> 01:15:13,098
That's it. That's literally...
1234
01:15:13,098 --> 01:15:14,975
- Can he take a picture?
- All right.
1235
01:15:30,407 --> 01:15:32,909
Usually, you get married,
you have a child, you work,
1236
01:15:32,909 --> 01:15:35,870
and then your child is grown,
and then you're 60 or 70
1237
01:15:35,870 --> 01:15:37,455
and the children are out of the house.
1238
01:15:37,455 --> 01:15:39,165
My life is completely backwards.
1239
01:15:39,165 --> 01:15:41,418
I worked very hard early on
1240
01:15:41,418 --> 01:15:43,753
and then I have a happy marriage
1241
01:15:43,753 --> 01:15:46,464
and a fantastic child at this end.
1242
01:15:46,464 --> 01:15:49,050
And... I love it.
1243
01:15:49,968 --> 01:15:51,428
Those are the done ones.
1244
01:15:52,512 --> 01:15:53,680
I'm signing...
1245
01:15:56,266 --> 01:15:57,517
...six thousand of these.
1246
01:15:57,517 --> 01:15:59,185
- No, really?
- Yeah.
1247
01:15:59,728 --> 01:16:02,355
But I set up an iPad
and I just do this
1248
01:16:02,355 --> 01:16:04,816
and sometimes I... during lunch.
1249
01:16:04,816 --> 01:16:06,401
You don't outsource it?
1250
01:16:06,401 --> 01:16:09,821
No, that would be... that would be wrong.
1251
01:16:14,701 --> 01:16:18,663
So, we counted it up and you had
27 kids in movies.
1252
01:16:22,626 --> 01:16:26,504
Did I talk about this before?
About how movie fatherhood
1253
01:16:26,504 --> 01:16:28,798
paved the way for actual fatherhood?
1254
01:16:28,798 --> 01:16:30,592
You're a kid like I was.
1255
01:16:30,592 --> 01:16:32,469
You have a lot of worries, that's all.
1256
01:16:34,971 --> 01:16:37,265
I started doing movies with children.
1257
01:16:38,308 --> 01:16:40,685
And I liked them, but I thought,
1258
01:16:40,685 --> 01:16:44,064
"Well, this is actually perfect.
I get them at their best."
1259
01:16:45,607 --> 01:16:48,485
Three hours a day and then
the parents have to go home
1260
01:16:48,485 --> 01:16:50,987
and deal with everything else,
which I knew was trouble.
1261
01:16:50,987 --> 01:16:52,322
I'm okay, Daddy!
1262
01:16:52,322 --> 01:16:55,200
No, get up there now, you're not going
out our gate. You're grounded.
1263
01:16:55,700 --> 01:16:58,536
And then Diane Keaton had children.
1264
01:16:58,536 --> 01:17:02,666
And I remember sitting there,
her daughter was playing in the yard,
1265
01:17:02,666 --> 01:17:07,087
and I thought, "I could see a kid
out there playing in the backyard."
1266
01:17:08,421 --> 01:17:11,800
It was really a joy
and he seemed interested,
1267
01:17:11,800 --> 01:17:13,593
and very warm
1268
01:17:14,427 --> 01:17:17,264
about Duke, the little nutcase.
1269
01:17:17,264 --> 01:17:18,598
He was so great.
1270
01:17:19,641 --> 01:17:24,062
For me, it was just kind of like,
wow, he was just kind.
1271
01:17:24,062 --> 01:17:27,315
- You can imagine yourself as a father.
- Yeah.
1272
01:17:30,068 --> 01:17:33,113
You think that's hilarious?
Well, you're naughty, naughty, naughty!
1273
01:17:33,113 --> 01:17:36,700
When I first started realizing that he was
somebody I might want be with,
1274
01:17:36,700 --> 01:17:40,328
I thought, "Well, you know,
he hasn't had a kid at this point."
1275
01:17:41,997 --> 01:17:45,875
If I wanted to be with him,
that probably would not be in the cards.
1276
01:17:46,585 --> 01:17:49,629
It was something that I had had
in the back of my mind thinking,
1277
01:17:49,629 --> 01:17:52,132
either I will have to
let this relationship go
1278
01:17:52,132 --> 01:17:54,968
or I will have to let this idea go.
1279
01:17:57,178 --> 01:17:59,306
I don't think he ever thought
he was gonna have a child either.
1280
01:18:00,098 --> 01:18:01,516
It never occurred to him.
1281
01:18:01,516 --> 01:18:05,979
Probably because his childhood
wasn't something that was so ideal
1282
01:18:05,979 --> 01:18:08,023
he'd want to pass on.
1283
01:18:09,316 --> 01:18:11,526
He didn't see any need
to have to have one.
1284
01:18:12,527 --> 01:18:14,237
- George?
- Nina?
1285
01:18:14,237 --> 01:18:16,948
Honey, I need to know how
you feel about all this.
1286
01:18:18,074 --> 01:18:19,492
They don't have hot dogs!
1287
01:18:19,492 --> 01:18:21,786
God. Don't--! Son!
1288
01:18:22,829 --> 01:18:24,831
No! No! No!
1289
01:18:24,831 --> 01:18:28,001
I feel super about it.
I'm totally up for it.
1290
01:18:28,001 --> 01:18:29,419
You are?
1291
01:18:30,212 --> 01:18:31,379
Definitely.
1292
01:18:31,379 --> 01:18:33,423
He called me, he said,
"Are you sitting down?"
1293
01:18:33,423 --> 01:18:36,259
I go, "Yeah."
He says, "Okay, good.
1294
01:18:36,259 --> 01:18:38,136
I have some big news."
"What?"
1295
01:18:38,136 --> 01:18:39,846
You're gonna have a baby.
1296
01:18:39,846 --> 01:18:43,099
"Anne is pregnant."
I said, "Who's the father?"
1297
01:18:45,060 --> 01:18:47,812
Things like this do not happen
to men my age.
1298
01:18:47,812 --> 01:18:50,690
Come on, Picasso had children
well into his 70s.
1299
01:18:50,690 --> 01:18:53,109
Well, you know, Picasso. I mean, Picasso.
1300
01:18:53,109 --> 01:18:55,779
I mean, he's the one guy in history
who had kids into his 70s.
1301
01:18:55,779 --> 01:18:58,365
But you know, he's an artist,
he can do anything he wants.
1302
01:18:58,365 --> 01:19:00,784
I'm just-- You know,
I'm just a regular Joe.
1303
01:19:03,662 --> 01:19:07,207
I think I've saved the voicemail
that he called from the hospital.
1304
01:19:07,207 --> 01:19:12,295
For him to be that emotional
and that comfortable with being emotional,
1305
01:19:12,295 --> 01:19:14,714
that's just as good as it can possibly be.
1306
01:19:14,714 --> 01:19:16,925
- Push.
- Here comes the baby.
1307
01:19:16,925 --> 01:19:18,468
Good. Here it is.
1308
01:19:18,969 --> 01:19:21,805
It's a girl! Good. Congratulations, Mom.
1309
01:19:22,472 --> 01:19:27,477
I mean, the first time I saw
true love in my life
1310
01:19:27,477 --> 01:19:30,105
was after the baby was born.
1311
01:19:31,481 --> 01:19:32,732
It's a girl.
1312
01:19:33,441 --> 01:19:34,693
I love girls.
1313
01:19:35,151 --> 01:19:38,071
I looked over at Anne
and she's holding the baby
1314
01:19:38,071 --> 01:19:40,907
and she's looking into her face,
1315
01:19:40,907 --> 01:19:44,452
and there was no one else on the planet.
1316
01:19:53,211 --> 01:19:55,422
{\an8}I am so proud
to be here in Washington, DC...
1317
01:19:55,422 --> 01:19:59,092
{\an8}which I have just recently learned
is the nation's capital.
1318
01:20:02,429 --> 01:20:05,640
And to receive this coveted
Mark Twain Award,
1319
01:20:05,640 --> 01:20:10,270
which is the only significant
American award for comedy,
1320
01:20:10,270 --> 01:20:11,813
except for money.
1321
01:20:13,940 --> 01:20:16,192
That was interesting to me
because Steve is different.
1322
01:20:16,192 --> 01:20:18,028
His course is entirely different.
1323
01:20:19,070 --> 01:20:22,908
He certainly walked away from stand-up.
But not really.
1324
01:20:24,242 --> 01:20:28,079
{\an8}You know, it is said that the art
and craft of filmmaking is collaborative,
1325
01:20:28,079 --> 01:20:33,668
{\an8}so to be singled out
and rewarded tonight means...
1326
01:20:34,461 --> 01:20:36,213
that that is not true.
1327
01:20:38,340 --> 01:20:40,717
He loves doing it. He's just so funny.
1328
01:20:40,717 --> 01:20:42,010
He's still hilarious.
1329
01:20:46,014 --> 01:20:47,349
Bastard.
1330
01:20:48,600 --> 01:20:49,684
And I...
1331
01:20:53,396 --> 01:20:55,607
{\an8}...accept this award humbly.
1332
01:20:55,607 --> 01:20:58,735
{\an8}And the only thing that could have
possibly made it better
1333
01:20:58,735 --> 01:21:00,987
was if there had been other nominees...
1334
01:21:05,867 --> 01:21:09,162
...so I could have the feeling
that I beat someone.
1335
01:21:10,038 --> 01:21:11,206
Thank you very much.
1336
01:21:17,003 --> 01:21:19,339
- Hello. How do you do? Nice to see--
- Hi, Steve. I'm Brandy O'Toole.
1337
01:21:19,339 --> 01:21:21,424
- Nice to meet you.
- How do you do? Nice to meet you.
1338
01:21:21,424 --> 01:21:22,717
I'm just gonna give you
a little rundown
1339
01:21:22,717 --> 01:21:24,427
- of what we're doing today.
- Okay.
1340
01:21:24,427 --> 01:21:27,430
Obviously, we'll start with
the Emmy interview, which is ten minutes.
1341
01:21:27,430 --> 01:21:29,391
- Right.
- Follow me in here.
1342
01:21:29,391 --> 01:21:31,518
So, we'll have that,
the Emmy elevator set.
1343
01:21:31,518 --> 01:21:35,522
We'll be there for a bit, and we'll do
group shots and just singles.
1344
01:21:35,522 --> 01:21:37,357
- Okay.
- We'll do a changeover from there.
1345
01:21:37,357 --> 01:21:39,484
- Okay.
- It'll all move very quickly.
1346
01:21:39,484 --> 01:21:40,610
Everything is...
1347
01:21:40,610 --> 01:21:43,863
Is there a point that you don't
want to be on a camera anymore?
1348
01:21:43,863 --> 01:21:47,117
I'm watching out for that,
but I'm in a television show right now.
1349
01:21:47,117 --> 01:21:49,619
- I know.
- Where I get to play somebody else.
1350
01:21:49,619 --> 01:21:52,038
Okay, now what? Wardrobe?
1351
01:21:52,747 --> 01:21:54,165
Hi, Selena.
1352
01:21:54,165 --> 01:21:55,709
I think I would look good in that.
1353
01:21:55,709 --> 01:21:57,544
- I think we have to change out--
- You could look cool in this.
1354
01:21:57,544 --> 01:21:59,504
Yeah. Hi. What's your name?
1355
01:21:59,504 --> 01:22:00,630
Yes. Amber.
1356
01:22:00,630 --> 01:22:03,258
I wasn't even gonna act in it, and then
they said, "Would you act in it?"
1357
01:22:03,258 --> 01:22:05,260
I said, "Well, I would
if it could be done in New York,
1358
01:22:05,260 --> 01:22:06,595
I can't leave my child.
1359
01:22:06,595 --> 01:22:10,307
I can't go do the regular shooting
in Atlanta for three months."
1360
01:22:10,849 --> 01:22:14,352
But I thought, "Well, as the writer
I'm gonna be there everyday anyway."
1361
01:22:15,770 --> 01:22:17,105
- Marty.
- Yeah?
1362
01:22:17,105 --> 01:22:22,360
The documentary just needs a two-hour
interview with you and a number.
1363
01:22:22,360 --> 01:22:25,196
Why did I do it?
I had a dream
1364
01:22:25,196 --> 01:22:28,158
I think we're gonna not do that.
But thank you.
1365
01:22:32,329 --> 01:22:33,455
Cute.
1366
01:22:33,455 --> 01:22:36,207
We love the laughs. Yes. So good.
1367
01:22:36,207 --> 01:22:37,792
Oh, young man?
1368
01:22:40,837 --> 01:22:44,424
It's almost impossible. I'm 76.
1369
01:22:44,424 --> 01:22:46,968
- Yeah.
- And you got a hit television show.
1370
01:22:46,968 --> 01:22:49,221
- Yeah.
- There's not... That doesn't happen.
1371
01:22:49,221 --> 01:22:51,181
- No, it does. It does.
- Yeah.
1372
01:22:51,181 --> 01:22:52,557
- It does happen?
- Sure.
1373
01:22:52,557 --> 01:22:54,601
Who's 76 and has a hit television show?
1374
01:22:55,143 --> 01:22:56,811
Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin.
1375
01:22:56,811 --> 01:22:58,355
Now that's true. Absolutely.
1376
01:22:58,897 --> 01:23:00,982
- I think I made that point.
- I think you did.
1377
01:23:00,982 --> 01:23:03,526
- I think you won and I'd just like to...
- I really won that one.
1378
01:23:03,526 --> 01:23:04,736
- ...say it's been great.
- I loved that.
1379
01:23:15,664 --> 01:23:18,667
He's encouraging me
to have a child, this is '96.
1380
01:23:19,793 --> 01:23:22,045
So, that's... many years away.
1381
01:23:23,213 --> 01:23:25,674
If in your 60s you have
a three-year-old daughter,
1382
01:23:25,674 --> 01:23:27,717
you will not be involved in a divorce.
1383
01:23:27,717 --> 01:23:30,595
Your relationships have all been
too constant and responsible
1384
01:23:30,595 --> 01:23:32,430
to point in that direction.
1385
01:23:32,430 --> 01:23:34,683
If you think Roger
is important in your life,
1386
01:23:34,683 --> 01:23:36,434
just wait until you have a child.
1387
01:23:36,434 --> 01:23:38,645
You not only learn from your own mistakes.
1388
01:23:38,645 --> 01:23:40,438
I know you will have
learned much from mine
1389
01:23:40,438 --> 01:23:43,525
because you are a great student
of human nature.
1390
01:23:45,318 --> 01:23:46,528
Hi, it's Daddy.
1391
01:23:46,528 --> 01:23:49,489
{\an8}- It's March 18th, 2020.
- It's Stevie!
1392
01:23:49,489 --> 01:23:52,242
{\an8}- And we are here in Santa Barbara...
- Stevie saying hello to ya!
1393
01:23:52,242 --> 01:23:56,246
I just realized,
I've never told you I loved you, right?
1394
01:23:56,246 --> 01:23:58,582
I never did? I can't believe that.
1395
01:23:58,582 --> 01:24:00,750
Anyway, I do, and you...
1396
01:24:00,750 --> 01:24:02,836
I love you and Mama,
I just want to let you know.
1397
01:24:04,045 --> 01:24:07,257
I have no idea if I'm a good dad or bad.
I don't think I'm a bad dad.
1398
01:24:08,383 --> 01:24:10,260
I don't know what a good dad is.
1399
01:24:11,052 --> 01:24:14,306
But... I'm a kind dad.
1400
01:24:16,266 --> 01:24:18,602
You know, he does magic tricks
for her birthday party.
1401
01:24:21,521 --> 01:24:26,318
But... it seems to go... unobserved.
1402
01:24:26,318 --> 01:24:27,694
You know, I remember my rule.
1403
01:24:27,694 --> 01:24:30,322
Never perform for children under eight.
1404
01:24:30,322 --> 01:24:31,740
- Exactly.
- Yeah.
1405
01:24:33,408 --> 01:24:35,076
He's teaching her how to play banjo.
1406
01:24:36,286 --> 01:24:40,373
If she's upset about something,
he can fix that.
1407
01:24:40,373 --> 01:24:43,877
He can just...
He can fix it by making her laugh.
1408
01:24:43,877 --> 01:24:46,004
It's kind of amazing.
1409
01:24:46,004 --> 01:24:50,508
When I get back,
things are gonna start changin'.
1410
01:24:50,508 --> 01:24:55,680
Absolutely, no more fun,
no more games,
1411
01:24:55,680 --> 01:24:57,599
only hard, hard work.
1412
01:24:58,016 --> 01:25:00,894
He lets her style his hair a lot,
and then he'll say,
1413
01:25:00,894 --> 01:25:03,396
"I look good, right?
Because I want to look good for Mama,"
1414
01:25:03,396 --> 01:25:05,273
and she'll say, "You look so good."
1415
01:25:06,233 --> 01:25:10,028
He can be the things
that he wanted from our dad.
1416
01:25:10,028 --> 01:25:13,865
This child will never not know love.
1417
01:25:14,574 --> 01:25:17,410
How do you feel about your daughter
being in the film?
1418
01:25:17,410 --> 01:25:18,495
I hate it.
1419
01:25:18,495 --> 01:25:24,834
There's too much joy in the family life
to compromise it in any way.
1420
01:25:26,127 --> 01:25:28,547
I think people understand you don't
want to show your kids on camera.
1421
01:25:29,756 --> 01:25:31,174
But I realize it's a part of the story,
1422
01:25:31,174 --> 01:25:35,637
so let's just use a stick figure
to represent... a child.
1423
01:25:42,310 --> 01:25:44,312
{\an8}Okay, have your tickets ready, right here.
1424
01:25:44,312 --> 01:25:47,315
The show is still an hour fifty-five.
1425
01:25:47,315 --> 01:25:51,278
And I feel the ideal length is,
like, an hour forty-eight.
1426
01:25:51,278 --> 01:25:54,739
Well, I mean, I guess you could
cut back on the banjo.
1427
01:25:56,533 --> 01:25:57,909
But I have a partner, now.
1428
01:25:57,909 --> 01:26:00,370
That makes everything so much easier.
1429
01:26:00,370 --> 01:26:04,082
And, you know, if we try something new
and it just is zero...
1430
01:26:04,082 --> 01:26:05,000
Yeah.
1431
01:26:05,458 --> 01:26:09,880
I have a partner that I can look
at and we go...
1432
01:26:11,214 --> 01:26:12,966
What if Marty dies?
1433
01:26:13,675 --> 01:26:15,510
Why am I laughing?
1434
01:26:15,510 --> 01:26:16,845
What will you do then?
1435
01:26:18,096 --> 01:26:19,848
I would probably stop. I'm serious.
1436
01:26:19,848 --> 01:26:21,433
- Really?
- Yeah. Yeah.
1437
01:26:21,433 --> 01:26:22,893
What am I gonna do? It's like...
1438
01:26:22,893 --> 01:26:26,771
I don't know, I don't see my career as...
"I'm back!"
1439
01:26:27,480 --> 01:26:28,481
I don't know.
1440
01:26:28,857 --> 01:26:30,483
It's so amazing, really.
1441
01:26:30,483 --> 01:26:32,944
You were a single stand-up,
1442
01:26:32,944 --> 01:26:36,698
and then found that you
liked working as a team.
1443
01:26:37,449 --> 01:26:39,200
One, two, three, can you hear me, Steve?
1444
01:26:39,200 --> 01:26:40,869
Yeah.
1445
01:26:40,869 --> 01:26:42,662
- You don't have to have an attitude...
- You're right there.
1446
01:26:42,662 --> 01:26:44,414
You'd said you couldn't
hear me last night.
1447
01:26:44,414 --> 01:26:46,666
You guys should get out of the sun.
1448
01:26:47,959 --> 01:26:49,294
It's actually not that hot.
1449
01:26:49,294 --> 01:26:51,963
We're so glad...
1450
01:26:51,963 --> 01:26:53,840
This is why I don't wear this.
1451
01:26:55,967 --> 01:26:58,762
The only Canadian dumb enough
to turn down Schitt's Creek--
1452
01:26:58,762 --> 01:27:01,765
"to say no to Schitt's Creek"? to...
1453
01:27:01,765 --> 01:27:04,059
-"Turn down"?
- Yeah, well, that's what I said.
1454
01:27:04,059 --> 01:27:06,353
I'll check the car is in your garage
1455
01:27:06,353 --> 01:27:08,605
And I would like an ass massage
1456
01:27:08,605 --> 01:27:10,190
- Is that better?
- No.
1457
01:27:10,190 --> 01:27:13,026
- Five minutes to go.
- No. Check the car-- What else is it?
1458
01:27:13,026 --> 01:27:15,695
You know what, rather than get to--
You just put your arm around me and I'll--
1459
01:27:15,695 --> 01:27:17,030
Yeah, that's fine, yeah, I like that.
1460
01:27:17,572 --> 01:27:23,411
We would like an indoor cinema
And he needs coffee for his enema
1461
01:27:24,871 --> 01:27:26,623
- Then we're making it longer, though.
- I know.
1462
01:27:26,623 --> 01:27:29,167
So, we've done nothing.
1463
01:27:29,167 --> 01:27:31,211
Should I just say, "Fuck your cat,"
and move on?
1464
01:27:32,462 --> 01:27:34,589
In our sexy...
1465
01:27:34,589 --> 01:27:37,342
- Underpants
- Underwear
1466
01:27:37,342 --> 01:27:39,928
- What is it called? What is it?
- Pants. Underpants.
1467
01:27:39,928 --> 01:27:41,263
Underpants.
1468
01:27:41,930 --> 01:27:44,224
How does it work?
So, they film a lot on you, right?
1469
01:27:44,224 --> 01:27:47,394
- Right.
- And then they cut out the parts
1470
01:27:47,394 --> 01:27:51,523
where you're being dull
and kind of self-absorbed.
1471
01:27:51,523 --> 01:27:52,983
What are-- What are you going for?
1472
01:27:52,983 --> 01:27:54,776
Well, I'm just saying,
this is gonna be a very brief...
1473
01:27:54,776 --> 01:27:56,820
- Yeah.
- It's gonna be, like, 12 minutes.
1474
01:27:56,820 --> 01:28:00,282
No. It comes out best after I die.
That's what they're hoping for.
1475
01:28:00,282 --> 01:28:05,579
I think you're gonna live...
for a long, long, long, long time.
1476
01:28:05,579 --> 01:28:07,831
I don't think the last couple of years
will be pretty.
1477
01:28:08,915 --> 01:28:11,334
I think that there will be
a lot of staring off...
1478
01:28:11,334 --> 01:28:13,420
- Yeah.
- ...and I'll be brushing your hair.
1479
01:28:13,420 --> 01:28:15,422
Your hair will have grown very long.
1480
01:28:15,422 --> 01:28:18,258
And you'll be going,
"Oh, what's this plug?"
1481
01:28:24,222 --> 01:28:27,601
I don't get nervous, I get kind of antsy.
1482
01:28:28,935 --> 01:28:32,230
Once Marty and I were riding--
driving to a...
1483
01:28:32,230 --> 01:28:34,816
you know, an award show
or something together.
1484
01:28:34,816 --> 01:28:38,278
And I said, "I could stop."
And he said, "Why?"
1485
01:28:38,278 --> 01:28:40,864
"I just don't want
to feel nervous anymore."
1486
01:28:40,864 --> 01:28:41,990
You know?
1487
01:28:41,990 --> 01:28:45,535
And it's not that--
it's not that we're nervous, it's excited.
1488
01:28:45,535 --> 01:28:48,788
You know?
But there is a... adrenaline factor.
1489
01:28:49,789 --> 01:28:51,416
Gee, this is awfully intimate.
1490
01:28:53,668 --> 01:28:54,794
All right.
1491
01:29:05,972 --> 01:29:08,016
Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado,
1492
01:29:08,016 --> 01:29:11,186
put your hands together for Steve Martin.
1493
01:29:12,229 --> 01:29:14,522
Yeah! Thank you.
1494
01:29:24,032 --> 01:29:27,994
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
I am proud to introduce a man I think of
1495
01:29:27,994 --> 01:29:30,789
as one of the great overactors
of all time.
1496
01:29:32,540 --> 01:29:34,793
One of the hardest working men
in show business
1497
01:29:34,793 --> 01:29:37,796
because it just doesn't
come natural to him.
1498
01:29:38,797 --> 01:29:42,968
A man who has appeared
in countless of two hit movies.
1499
01:29:45,095 --> 01:29:47,889
And the only Canadian dumb enough
to turn down Schitt's Creek.
1500
01:29:47,889 --> 01:29:50,225
Here he is, Martin Short.
1501
01:29:57,899 --> 01:29:59,818
- Oh my, God. It's so--
- Oh, I love this, I'm the best!
1502
01:30:00,318 --> 01:30:02,362
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen!
1503
01:30:02,779 --> 01:30:06,533
Marty and I call this show,
"If we'd saved, we wouldn't be here."
1504
01:30:06,533 --> 01:30:07,701
That's right.
1505
01:30:09,536 --> 01:30:12,122
- And may I say to you, young Steven...
- Sure.
1506
01:30:12,122 --> 01:30:14,916
You look fantastic.
1507
01:30:14,916 --> 01:30:17,627
- Thank you.
- You do, you really do.
1508
01:30:17,627 --> 01:30:21,006
And I guess that's the benefit
of looking 70 since you were 30.
1509
01:30:23,133 --> 01:30:26,052
And it is such an honor
for me to be standing next to a man
1510
01:30:26,052 --> 01:30:29,097
who's a novelist, a playwright,
a musician,
1511
01:30:29,097 --> 01:30:32,475
a composer, and a legendary comedian.
1512
01:30:32,475 --> 01:30:33,894
And let me say...
1513
01:30:34,561 --> 01:30:38,690
Let me say what an honor it is for me
to be standing next to the man
1514
01:30:38,690 --> 01:30:41,151
who is standing next to that man.
1515
01:30:50,827 --> 01:30:52,871
That was amazing because it was...
1516
01:30:52,871 --> 01:30:56,041
We had more material and it was
a shorter show than last night.
1517
01:30:56,041 --> 01:30:59,211
It was a shorter show than last night,
right, like, ten minutes?
1518
01:30:59,211 --> 01:31:00,921
Last night was shorter than tonight.
1519
01:31:00,921 --> 01:31:05,133
Moments of self-congratulation
are few and far between.
1520
01:31:06,426 --> 01:31:08,762
When he gets off the stage,
when he's had a stage show,
1521
01:31:08,762 --> 01:31:10,597
there's, you know, a whole assessment.
1522
01:31:10,597 --> 01:31:14,267
And he'll say, "Okay, we put
this new joke in at this moment,
1523
01:31:14,267 --> 01:31:16,019
and audience was with them.
1524
01:31:16,019 --> 01:31:18,271
That was the one
where they really nailed it."
1525
01:31:18,271 --> 01:31:20,148
First show, we kind of got it.
1526
01:31:20,148 --> 01:31:22,817
- Yeah.
- Second show, we got it.
1527
01:31:22,817 --> 01:31:25,654
- Yeah.
- Third show, we kind of got it.
1528
01:31:27,030 --> 01:31:28,531
I one hundred percent agree.
1529
01:31:28,531 --> 01:31:31,701
First of all, it's second night blues.
You can't be perfect every night.
1530
01:31:32,452 --> 01:31:36,998
Having that piece of work that you're just
trying to get right keeps you alive.
1531
01:31:36,998 --> 01:31:41,795
And I think the secret to not aging
is just the feeling of being useful.
1532
01:31:42,420 --> 01:31:44,214
By the way,
I really enjoyed you on stage tonight.
1533
01:31:44,214 --> 01:31:45,465
- Oh, thank you.
- You're welcome.
1534
01:31:45,465 --> 01:31:48,885
Hey, you know what I'd love to do?
Work with you some day.
1535
01:31:48,885 --> 01:31:50,387
You guys are flirting.
1536
01:31:57,060 --> 01:32:00,355
I took this 30-year break from stand-up.
1537
01:32:00,981 --> 01:32:04,484
And now I'm back in it,
but I'm back as a grown-up,
1538
01:32:04,484 --> 01:32:06,361
so it's, like, the grown-up version.
1539
01:32:06,361 --> 01:32:08,905
It's, like, more straightforward,
actually.
1540
01:32:12,325 --> 01:32:14,160
All right, I have a deep question for you.
1541
01:32:14,160 --> 01:32:16,037
So, I turned 65 last week,
1542
01:32:16,037 --> 01:32:18,915
if you can imagine, and the kids,
of course, gave me my Medicare card.
1543
01:32:18,915 --> 01:32:21,459
{\an8}Which I now have to have
and all of that too.
1544
01:32:21,459 --> 01:32:23,879
It was disconcerting because it was
1545
01:32:23,879 --> 01:32:25,755
as though you were living your life
on two tracks, right?
1546
01:32:25,755 --> 01:32:28,884
You're actual experience of the world,
which is totally unaltered,
1547
01:32:28,884 --> 01:32:33,096
and your knowledge of the passage of time,
which has suddenly made you,
1548
01:32:33,096 --> 01:32:36,600
mysteriously, older than you sort of
ever expected to be.
1549
01:32:36,600 --> 01:32:40,145
So, on one hand, it's exactly what you
said, because you're living one way,
1550
01:32:40,145 --> 01:32:43,648
but there is this number in your head
that has meaning,
1551
01:32:43,648 --> 01:32:46,026
- and it has had meaning your whole life.
- Right.
1552
01:32:46,026 --> 01:32:47,485
Means you're old.
1553
01:32:47,485 --> 01:32:50,155
But also, there's the thing where you go,
1554
01:32:50,906 --> 01:32:55,285
"I might only live for another...
25 years."
1555
01:32:57,162 --> 01:32:58,747
Do you feel any differently inside
than you did,
1556
01:32:58,747 --> 01:33:03,501
say when you were 40 or 50,
or at any other point?
1557
01:33:03,501 --> 01:33:05,420
At 40, I thought about death.
1558
01:33:06,713 --> 01:33:07,839
Neurotically.
1559
01:33:08,381 --> 01:33:10,926
A false sense of doom.
1560
01:33:10,926 --> 01:33:12,761
And now I have a real sense of doom.
1561
01:33:12,761 --> 01:33:14,888
But, you know, the false
and the real are...
1562
01:33:14,888 --> 01:33:18,225
Actually, the real sense of doom
is much more tolerable
1563
01:33:18,225 --> 01:33:19,768
than the false sense of doom.
1564
01:33:19,768 --> 01:33:21,311
So, you're...
1565
01:33:22,771 --> 01:33:23,605
Hello there.
1566
01:33:23,605 --> 01:33:25,523
Sorry. Can we say a quick hi and bye?
1567
01:33:25,523 --> 01:33:27,651
- Hey, come here.
- Yeah. Sorry, sorry, we're...
1568
01:33:27,651 --> 01:33:29,486
- Are you going somewhere?
- That's fine.
1569
01:33:29,486 --> 01:33:32,322
- Hey there. Hello there.
- Oh, you are?
1570
01:33:32,322 --> 01:33:34,199
- How are you?
- Good, good.
1571
01:33:34,199 --> 01:33:36,034
I'm sorry that we-- Sorry to interrupt.
1572
01:33:36,034 --> 01:33:37,994
- Don't be silly, we could use it.
- Can you remind me of...
1573
01:33:37,994 --> 01:33:39,579
It wasn't an unimportant goodbye.
1574
01:33:39,579 --> 01:33:41,748
Can you remind me
of your name again, please?
1575
01:33:42,374 --> 01:33:44,125
Okay. Can I see your face?
1576
01:33:44,751 --> 01:33:46,461
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
1577
01:33:51,675 --> 01:33:53,093
Tell me what else is on your mind.
1578
01:34:00,141 --> 01:34:03,728
Captain Upton's House was painted,
it was 1928.
1579
01:34:03,728 --> 01:34:08,608
This is a painting by Edward Hopper
that I was able to buy about 30 years ago.
1580
01:34:10,402 --> 01:34:13,947
The first impression of it is
that it's a lonely house on a hillside,
1581
01:34:13,947 --> 01:34:16,783
and it represents isolated loneliness.
1582
01:34:17,951 --> 01:34:22,163
This house is absent of life.
1583
01:34:24,124 --> 01:34:27,794
But a strange thing about this...
1584
01:34:29,504 --> 01:34:32,132
Through the years,
I've really been able to look at it,
1585
01:34:32,132 --> 01:34:34,885
and my opinion about it has changed.
1586
01:34:36,094 --> 01:34:40,432
The more I looked at,
I thought this house is very alive.
1587
01:34:41,224 --> 01:34:44,019
These windows are open
and there's a breeze going through
1588
01:34:44,019 --> 01:34:46,062
and the curtains are blowing.
1589
01:34:46,062 --> 01:34:50,859
And here you get a sun porch,
and you can see right through the windows
1590
01:34:50,859 --> 01:34:54,654
and you can almost feel
the rattan furniture, you know, in there.
1591
01:34:54,654 --> 01:34:58,950
So, to me, this is a very lively painting.
1592
01:34:59,784 --> 01:35:01,828
Something's going on in there
and it feels joyful.
1593
01:35:01,828 --> 01:35:04,915
It doesn't feel troubled at all.
1594
01:35:04,915 --> 01:35:06,416
People are in that house.
1595
01:35:10,962 --> 01:35:12,339
Having kids, for all of us,
1596
01:35:12,339 --> 01:35:15,217
I think is the biggest door
you ever walk through in life.
1597
01:35:19,179 --> 01:35:23,308
You know, you go from being a ship
out on the seas of the world,
1598
01:35:23,308 --> 01:35:26,394
to suddenly being
a harbor and a port for someone else.
1599
01:35:28,772 --> 01:35:30,607
You sort of know your role.
1600
01:35:35,946 --> 01:35:38,907
It's just... home.