1 00:00:15,225 --> 00:00:16,893 So, listen, how much was it to get in? 2 00:00:16,893 --> 00:00:18,728 - Five. - Five bucks? 3 00:00:23,316 --> 00:00:25,652 Okay, you paid the money, you're expecting to see a professional show, 4 00:00:25,652 --> 00:00:27,195 so let's not waste any more time. 5 00:00:27,195 --> 00:00:29,531 Let's go with professional show business. Let's go. Hey! 6 00:00:36,705 --> 00:00:37,706 You know what I-- 7 00:00:42,586 --> 00:00:44,713 Is this on? Is this mic on? 8 00:00:44,713 --> 00:00:46,631 Are we okay out there? Okay, I'm sorry. 9 00:00:53,805 --> 00:00:55,056 Love me. 10 00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:03,940 And it's all totally spontaneous and completely unrehearsed. 11 00:01:05,775 --> 00:01:07,110 It's unrehearsed. 12 00:01:08,862 --> 00:01:10,405 It's unrehearsed. 13 00:01:11,406 --> 00:01:12,699 So... 14 00:01:24,753 --> 00:01:27,130 What's the matter with you people, don't you have a sense of humor? 15 00:01:33,887 --> 00:01:34,930 Hey. 16 00:01:41,353 --> 00:01:42,187 Cut. 17 00:01:42,979 --> 00:01:45,065 I've got something else. We can do another one. 18 00:01:55,992 --> 00:02:00,580 {\an8}This guy was getting people so happy. 19 00:02:02,165 --> 00:02:06,336 He's up there as most idolized comedian ever. 20 00:02:15,512 --> 00:02:18,848 {\an8}I always thought of him as the door out of the '60s. 21 00:02:19,266 --> 00:02:21,184 Well, here's something you don't often see. 22 00:02:22,352 --> 00:02:26,022 You know, you could be silly again. 23 00:02:26,022 --> 00:02:27,983 You know, I have figured out one thing 24 00:02:27,983 --> 00:02:30,277 that would totally put an end to show business, 25 00:02:30,277 --> 00:02:33,780 and that is if the human race, instead of having two arms, 26 00:02:33,780 --> 00:02:36,199 just had one arm right in the center of our body. 27 00:02:36,950 --> 00:02:40,120 Now the reason that would put an end to show business, how would people clap? 28 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:41,204 It'd be... 29 00:02:46,251 --> 00:02:48,587 {\an8}He reinvented stand-up. 30 00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:50,839 {\an8}That doesn't happen often. 31 00:02:57,554 --> 00:03:00,348 But he never thought success was a permanent state. 32 00:03:09,691 --> 00:03:13,069 I always thought, "This just does not happen." 33 00:03:14,195 --> 00:03:15,405 And it did. 34 00:03:15,906 --> 00:03:18,116 And one more thing, if you bought my album 35 00:03:18,116 --> 00:03:20,160 and you came here expecting me to do a lot of routines 36 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:21,995 from the record, and I didn't do them, 37 00:03:21,995 --> 00:03:26,333 well, excuse me! 38 00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:28,668 Good night! 39 00:03:34,090 --> 00:03:38,261 I think if I had any guidance... 40 00:03:40,472 --> 00:03:41,806 ...nothing would have happened for me. 41 00:03:46,853 --> 00:03:48,939 I really just wanted to be on stage. 42 00:03:49,439 --> 00:03:53,318 When I saw a stage, my eyes went wide, 43 00:03:53,318 --> 00:03:56,821 and I just imagined myself up there. 44 00:03:57,948 --> 00:04:02,452 But I guarantee you I have no talent. 45 00:04:03,495 --> 00:04:04,537 None. 46 00:04:06,790 --> 00:04:10,210 So, I had to do a workaround in order to get on stage. 47 00:04:10,877 --> 00:04:14,256 I was probably ten or eleven 48 00:04:14,256 --> 00:04:18,802 when I realized you can go to a magic store and buy a trick 49 00:04:19,427 --> 00:04:22,681 and then you read, "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen," 50 00:04:23,223 --> 00:04:24,808 and you're in show business. 51 00:04:30,021 --> 00:04:33,066 Don't be alarmed, there's nothing wrong with the set, so help me. 52 00:04:34,276 --> 00:04:36,611 I was trying to be a straight magician. 53 00:04:37,988 --> 00:04:41,449 But it didn't take me long to figure out... 54 00:04:42,617 --> 00:04:44,703 When I say they're coming up, they're coming up. 55 00:04:51,042 --> 00:04:53,420 "They love it when the tricks don't work." 56 00:05:14,065 --> 00:05:17,068 My life really didn't begin until I was ten. 57 00:05:18,111 --> 00:05:21,072 A friend of mine said, "Hey, they're hiring kids at Disneyland." 58 00:05:21,072 --> 00:05:22,407 I said, "What?!" 59 00:05:22,407 --> 00:05:25,243 That's right, anything's possible in Disneyland. 60 00:05:26,077 --> 00:05:29,706 You can imagine when you're ten years old and really haven't seen anything, 61 00:05:29,706 --> 00:05:31,833 and there was Mickey Mouse in flowers 62 00:05:31,833 --> 00:05:35,337 and there's a train pulling in the station, and... 63 00:05:35,337 --> 00:05:37,839 ...and characters and rides and rocket ships. 64 00:05:39,966 --> 00:05:43,345 And they immediately gave me a job to sell the Disneyland News. 65 00:05:45,847 --> 00:05:48,308 Which no one wanted to buy. 66 00:05:48,892 --> 00:05:52,229 But the main thing was, I was done by 9:00 a.m., 67 00:05:52,229 --> 00:05:55,232 and I could spend the rest of the day in the park for free. 68 00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:59,152 I would hang out at the Golden Horseshoe Revue. 69 00:06:00,111 --> 00:06:01,905 And there was a comedian there. His name was Wally Boag. 70 00:06:01,905 --> 00:06:04,157 And he was the first comedian I ever saw live. 71 00:06:04,157 --> 00:06:05,367 Here we have the gambler's friend. 72 00:06:05,367 --> 00:06:07,953 This always makes the sale and you make your fortune with these. 73 00:06:07,953 --> 00:06:10,413 They never fail. Looky here, Niagara Falls. 74 00:06:10,914 --> 00:06:12,165 From the Canadian side. 75 00:06:12,707 --> 00:06:14,834 Niagara Falls frozen. 76 00:06:15,919 --> 00:06:18,797 I saw his show hundreds of times. 77 00:06:18,797 --> 00:06:19,923 What else you got? 78 00:06:20,382 --> 00:06:22,926 The average and normal person will blow a balloon something like that. 79 00:06:22,926 --> 00:06:24,678 That's the average and normal type. 80 00:06:24,678 --> 00:06:27,264 And then we have the straight forward type, they... 81 00:06:30,267 --> 00:06:33,687 Say, now, you've heard of pink elephants? Here's an elephant in color right here. 82 00:06:33,687 --> 00:06:37,023 Looking a little something like that. Elephant, right there. 83 00:06:37,023 --> 00:06:39,609 It's nothing, I can tell by the applause. Now, let's... 84 00:06:42,988 --> 00:06:46,449 You know, my fantasy was, I'm sitting there in the audience, 85 00:06:46,449 --> 00:06:48,785 that he would get sick. 86 00:06:48,785 --> 00:06:52,497 Somebody would say, "Does anybody know this show?" 87 00:06:52,497 --> 00:06:53,957 I would be ready to go. 88 00:06:54,332 --> 00:06:55,500 What's your name? 89 00:06:56,459 --> 00:06:57,419 You got a name? 90 00:07:01,131 --> 00:07:05,343 {\an8}I think the fact that it was Disneyland, it wasn't like a job job. 91 00:07:05,844 --> 00:07:09,598 {\an8}I think sometimes he might have made a nickel, but he didn't care. 92 00:07:09,598 --> 00:07:12,017 He was loving what he did. 93 00:07:13,059 --> 00:07:15,145 It was a nice escape for him 94 00:07:15,145 --> 00:07:19,316 because Steve kind of got the frustrating end from our dad. 95 00:07:20,942 --> 00:07:23,945 He would just blow his stack at him. 96 00:07:25,822 --> 00:07:27,574 I don't remember hugs. 97 00:07:28,199 --> 00:07:30,368 I don't remember affection. 98 00:07:33,038 --> 00:07:34,581 I remember thinking when I was a kid, I said, 99 00:07:34,581 --> 00:07:40,253 "God, I had this happy, happiest childhood, happiest. It was so happy. 100 00:07:40,253 --> 00:07:43,215 And then later I realized that, "Oh, yeah, happy outside the house." 101 00:07:44,132 --> 00:07:47,636 To the happiest place on Earth, Disneyland. 102 00:07:53,683 --> 00:07:55,518 And then I got a job at the magic shop. 103 00:07:57,103 --> 00:07:58,563 And that changed my life. 104 00:07:59,940 --> 00:08:03,360 To perform tricks all day? 105 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:05,779 That's just a dream come true. 106 00:08:06,196 --> 00:08:08,198 Eventually, you become good. 107 00:08:09,991 --> 00:08:11,952 We had all kinds of gags. 108 00:08:11,952 --> 00:08:14,537 Bunny ears and arrows through the head. 109 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:17,791 We did the tricks, but we had all these jokes. 110 00:08:17,791 --> 00:08:21,211 I had a friend, Jim Barlow. He had patter worked out. 111 00:08:21,211 --> 00:08:25,173 He would go up to customers and say, "May I take your money? I mean, help you?" 112 00:08:25,173 --> 00:08:26,841 I just took all of Jim's patter. 113 00:08:26,841 --> 00:08:28,677 Somebody would buy something and I would say, 114 00:08:28,677 --> 00:08:32,681 "And because you are our 100th customer today, you get a free paper bag." 115 00:08:32,681 --> 00:08:36,017 Little silly things like that. But it's Disneyland and I'm 15. 116 00:08:38,979 --> 00:08:41,523 Martin the Magic Marvel! Let's bring him on. 117 00:08:47,070 --> 00:08:50,740 I would do shows for my parents' bridge parties or for Cub Scouts. 118 00:08:51,366 --> 00:08:54,244 It was nothing. I could tell by the applause. 119 00:08:56,830 --> 00:08:59,958 Jim Barlow and I had developed hundreds of gags. 120 00:09:01,209 --> 00:09:03,086 Could I have a little magic music, please? 121 00:09:03,086 --> 00:09:05,672 It's mostly stolen and borrowed. 122 00:09:05,672 --> 00:09:08,800 I just want to remind you, if you want to laugh, go ahead. 123 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:10,302 If you want to leave, the doors are locked. 124 00:09:12,220 --> 00:09:13,638 I thought I'd be using them my whole life. 125 00:09:14,222 --> 00:09:16,016 I said magic, not tragic. 126 00:09:17,726 --> 00:09:19,811 Here we go! One! 127 00:09:20,770 --> 00:09:21,688 Two! 128 00:09:22,689 --> 00:09:24,441 And three! 129 00:09:30,447 --> 00:09:32,908 I often hear, "Well, just be yourself." 130 00:09:33,533 --> 00:09:35,744 But who knows what their self is? 131 00:09:36,745 --> 00:09:37,996 I don't. 132 00:09:40,415 --> 00:09:42,834 "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, Cub Scouts, 133 00:09:42,834 --> 00:09:44,920 I am your magical host for the evening. 134 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:48,548 I am Steve Martin, your magical host for the evening. 135 00:09:48,548 --> 00:09:51,343 Take business cards. Give several to head guy. 136 00:09:51,343 --> 00:09:54,304 No children's shows under eight years of age. 137 00:09:54,304 --> 00:09:58,892 Terrific show, went over terrific. Laughs all the way through. 138 00:09:58,892 --> 00:10:03,230 Had an accident with the square circle, but it was covered and nobody knew." 139 00:10:11,571 --> 00:10:17,410 You can define a personality for yourself and become that on stage. 140 00:10:17,410 --> 00:10:20,830 You can be what you choose to be. 141 00:10:22,666 --> 00:10:25,961 {\an8}- Can you play something for us? - Sure, sure. Yeah. 142 00:10:29,714 --> 00:10:31,800 No, you don't play it like that, Tex. 143 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:34,761 Oh, well. Like this? 144 00:10:35,762 --> 00:10:36,846 - No. - No. 145 00:10:37,806 --> 00:10:40,225 I remember realizing, 146 00:10:40,934 --> 00:10:44,938 "I think there's a little bit of a dead end for me in magic. 147 00:10:45,355 --> 00:10:49,901 In comedy, it seems more wide open." 148 00:10:51,319 --> 00:10:53,280 You come on television-- 149 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:56,992 You come on television, and you know, so many performers, they get nervous. 150 00:10:56,992 --> 00:10:58,118 I don't get nervous. 151 00:10:58,118 --> 00:11:00,287 I don't want anyone to think that this is something I hold in my heart. 152 00:11:00,287 --> 00:11:02,330 Anyone ever thought I was nervous, I'd die. 153 00:11:03,290 --> 00:11:04,708 I loved Jerry Lewis. 154 00:11:05,625 --> 00:11:07,460 I loved Laurel and Hardy. 155 00:11:09,838 --> 00:11:12,507 And Nichols and May, they were like music. 156 00:11:12,507 --> 00:11:15,051 And you remember that Mommy loves you. 157 00:11:15,051 --> 00:11:16,887 I love you too, Mommy. 158 00:11:17,512 --> 00:11:19,514 - Goodbye, baby. - Goodbye, Mommy. 159 00:11:21,933 --> 00:11:23,184 There was Lenny Bruce, 160 00:11:23,184 --> 00:11:25,186 Bob Newhart, Charlie Chaplin, I Love Lucy, 161 00:11:25,186 --> 00:11:26,980 Jack Benny, Danny Kaye, Bob Hope, Red Skelton, 162 00:11:26,980 --> 00:11:28,732 Peter Sellers, Steve Allen, Jackie Gleason. 163 00:11:28,732 --> 00:11:33,028 But I had absolutely nothing in common with what they did. 164 00:11:33,904 --> 00:11:35,947 Do you believe I can play this song backwards? 165 00:11:36,865 --> 00:11:38,199 No. Can you? 166 00:11:38,199 --> 00:11:39,743 - Wanna see me do it? - Yeah. 167 00:11:39,743 --> 00:11:40,869 Watch this. 168 00:11:47,083 --> 00:11:51,504 I'm in Orange County, which might have been 10,000 miles from Hollywood. 169 00:11:52,130 --> 00:11:53,882 And I didn't have any bits. 170 00:11:53,882 --> 00:11:56,760 I felt uncomfortable without props. 171 00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:59,471 I'd be standing there telling a story? 172 00:12:03,266 --> 00:12:07,812 So, how do I transform myself into a comedian? 173 00:12:11,691 --> 00:12:15,153 When I was 18, I worked at this very cute little theater 174 00:12:15,153 --> 00:12:17,989 at Knott's Berry Farm called the Birdcage Theater. 175 00:12:17,989 --> 00:12:19,908 And I met a girl who worked there 176 00:12:19,908 --> 00:12:23,620 and we fell in love in that sort of 18-year-old way. 177 00:12:26,122 --> 00:12:30,043 Her name then was Stormie Sherk, and she became a Christian proselytizer, 178 00:12:30,043 --> 00:12:32,546 and she's a huge best selling author. 179 00:12:34,130 --> 00:12:35,715 But anyway, then she wasn't. 180 00:12:35,715 --> 00:12:38,134 She had a spirit that was not yet holy. 181 00:12:39,636 --> 00:12:43,473 And she was very enthusiastic about knowledge and learning. 182 00:12:44,558 --> 00:12:46,518 {\an8}He was so open to things. 183 00:12:47,018 --> 00:12:51,189 {\an8}I wanted to give him the books that had really affected my life. 184 00:12:52,732 --> 00:12:55,777 She had convinced me to read The Razor's Edge. 185 00:12:58,780 --> 00:13:02,617 And The Razor's Edge is about man questing truth. 186 00:13:03,702 --> 00:13:06,955 There can be no real happiness until men learn 187 00:13:06,955 --> 00:13:09,416 that it comes from within themselves. 188 00:13:11,334 --> 00:13:13,837 I couldn't recite it back to you. 189 00:13:13,837 --> 00:13:17,966 All I know is, "Oh, I'm supposed to be interested in the meaning of life." 190 00:13:20,176 --> 00:13:23,346 So, I kept encouraging him. I said, "Steve, you're so brilliant. 191 00:13:23,346 --> 00:13:26,433 You've got to go to college. That's how you're gonna find who you are. 192 00:13:26,433 --> 00:13:30,186 That's how you're gonna learn so much about yourself and the world." 193 00:13:31,146 --> 00:13:34,816 So I made a major change in my life. 194 00:13:34,816 --> 00:13:39,154 I applied to Long Beach State and started studying philosophy. 195 00:13:44,910 --> 00:13:48,747 In philosophy, everything is being broken down. 196 00:13:48,747 --> 00:13:51,166 Everything is being rethought. 197 00:13:51,166 --> 00:13:54,085 Everything. And I like that. 198 00:13:54,085 --> 00:13:59,007 The feeling that you would solve something grand. 199 00:14:00,342 --> 00:14:04,054 So, I started questioning the only thing I had, which was comedy. 200 00:14:05,180 --> 00:14:06,723 Instead of, "Does God exist?" 201 00:14:06,723 --> 00:14:09,517 It was, "Hey, how can I get some better laughs?" 202 00:14:10,477 --> 00:14:12,812 I remembered an essential element 203 00:14:12,812 --> 00:14:17,442 of my thinking about comedy, which was indicators. 204 00:14:17,442 --> 00:14:18,944 Like that, see? 205 00:14:18,944 --> 00:14:20,487 I wanna tell you... 206 00:14:20,487 --> 00:14:21,947 You know, once I wanted to become an atheist. 207 00:14:21,947 --> 00:14:24,241 I gave it up. They have no holidays. 208 00:14:26,201 --> 00:14:31,873 The things comedians do to indicate that the joke is over, 209 00:14:31,873 --> 00:14:35,877 and whether it was funny or not, the audience has made a pact. 210 00:14:35,877 --> 00:14:38,547 "Okay, that's when we laugh." 211 00:14:39,005 --> 00:14:41,508 For example, the punch line. 212 00:14:41,508 --> 00:14:44,886 I suppose you read where Elvis Presley passed his Army physical. 213 00:14:44,886 --> 00:14:47,097 I feel a lot safer now, don't you? 214 00:14:47,097 --> 00:14:50,475 By telling the story, you create tension. 215 00:14:50,475 --> 00:14:52,060 Elvis is really musical too. 216 00:14:52,060 --> 00:14:53,645 When the doctor tapped him with a hammer 217 00:14:53,645 --> 00:14:56,273 his kneecaps played three choruses of "Don't Be Cruel." 218 00:14:56,940 --> 00:15:00,068 With the punch line, you release the tension and everybody goes... 219 00:15:03,363 --> 00:15:05,532 That's not real laughter. 220 00:15:06,408 --> 00:15:12,205 So I thought, "What if I created tension and never released it? 221 00:15:13,081 --> 00:15:15,292 What if I could get real laughter?" 222 00:15:17,043 --> 00:15:22,090 Like the kind you have with your friends, where your sides are aching. 223 00:15:22,757 --> 00:15:26,469 Where there was no pact. We were just laughing. 224 00:15:29,472 --> 00:15:32,017 There was no indicators. 225 00:15:32,017 --> 00:15:36,271 There was nothing to say, "This is a joke." You just get giggly. 226 00:15:36,271 --> 00:15:38,899 "What are we laughing at?" "I don't know." 227 00:15:41,151 --> 00:15:42,652 So, I had this theory. 228 00:15:43,403 --> 00:15:48,491 "What if I took out the indicators, but just kept going?" 229 00:15:48,950 --> 00:15:54,664 Like, the audience eventually would have to pick their own place to laugh. 230 00:15:54,664 --> 00:15:58,501 It's either gonna be, "This is so stupid," which will make them laugh 231 00:15:58,501 --> 00:16:00,670 or, "That was funny," which will make them laugh. 232 00:16:00,670 --> 00:16:03,924 Or, "Now I'm laughing at the thing that was actually two things before." 233 00:16:05,050 --> 00:16:10,513 So, there was this kind of free form laughter without the pact. 234 00:16:11,348 --> 00:16:15,727 I was after that quality that is indefinable, 235 00:16:15,727 --> 00:16:20,774 where it's that "I don't know why it was funny, but it was." 236 00:16:24,069 --> 00:16:27,530 My very first show that I would say I was actually paid for, 237 00:16:27,530 --> 00:16:29,908 the Little Place coffee shop. 238 00:16:29,908 --> 00:16:31,201 Thank you. 239 00:16:31,201 --> 00:16:33,620 I wanted to mention, we really have a great show tonight. 240 00:16:33,620 --> 00:16:36,414 We have Steve Martin. He'll be out here in a minute. 241 00:16:36,414 --> 00:16:40,252 We have the Tijuana Brass, and then we have Elvis Presley. 242 00:16:40,252 --> 00:16:43,255 We have Flamey and the Burn Outs, we have Bill Haley and the Comets, 243 00:16:43,255 --> 00:16:46,049 Truman Capote, Queen of England, Montie Montana... 244 00:16:46,049 --> 00:16:48,927 I had the kitchen sink in my act, I put the magic in. 245 00:16:48,927 --> 00:16:50,095 Ace of spades. 246 00:16:50,095 --> 00:16:52,806 The ace of spades. Well, you're wrong! 247 00:16:53,765 --> 00:16:55,392 I read E.E. Cummings. 248 00:16:55,392 --> 00:16:57,978 "The devil, ach the great green dancing devil devil devil devil." 249 00:16:58,770 --> 00:16:59,771 I juggled. 250 00:17:01,690 --> 00:17:03,942 I haven't always done a fantastically funny comedy act. 251 00:17:03,942 --> 00:17:07,487 I used to do dramatic readings, you know, of things like... 252 00:17:07,487 --> 00:17:10,407 I did a dramatic reading of the periodic table of the elements. 253 00:17:10,991 --> 00:17:12,033 It's a big one. 254 00:17:13,577 --> 00:17:14,578 Pud. 255 00:17:15,996 --> 00:17:16,955 Mup. 256 00:17:18,206 --> 00:17:19,165 Zun. 257 00:17:20,542 --> 00:17:22,127 Just kind of goes on like that. 258 00:17:22,710 --> 00:17:25,881 It was hard getting 20 minutes of stuff. It really was. 259 00:17:25,881 --> 00:17:30,510 If the audience was bad, it got down to 11, you know? 260 00:17:31,386 --> 00:17:35,599 This has really been a big one for me, kind of, put me where I am today. 261 00:17:35,599 --> 00:17:37,225 It's the comedy telephone routine. 262 00:17:37,225 --> 00:17:39,352 This is where I pretend like I call somebody up on the phone, 263 00:17:39,352 --> 00:17:42,188 talk to them and make funny jokes. 264 00:17:43,356 --> 00:17:45,483 I think you're really gonna like this one. 265 00:17:47,652 --> 00:17:49,279 Hello, is Fred there? 266 00:17:56,494 --> 00:17:57,746 That's a funny one. And then... 267 00:18:00,373 --> 00:18:04,085 I was just as happy with a look. 268 00:18:04,085 --> 00:18:05,629 Like, "What?" 269 00:18:06,379 --> 00:18:08,423 {\an8}There are two kinds of people in the world. 270 00:18:08,423 --> 00:18:14,387 {\an8}Those who understand Steve Martin's humor and those who don't. 271 00:18:14,971 --> 00:18:17,098 The audience had to catch up. 272 00:18:17,974 --> 00:18:19,351 Thank you. 273 00:18:20,393 --> 00:18:23,730 I transferred to UCLA, and I took advanced logic. 274 00:18:29,653 --> 00:18:32,280 {\an8}We're having a good time. Yes. 275 00:18:34,074 --> 00:18:36,409 These are the good times and we're having them. 276 00:18:37,494 --> 00:18:40,163 I was influenced by Lewis Carroll, 277 00:18:40,163 --> 00:18:44,251 who was the great, sort of, master of nonsense. 278 00:18:44,834 --> 00:18:47,128 One. Babies are illogical. 279 00:18:47,754 --> 00:18:51,883 Two. Nobody is despised who can manage a crocodile. 280 00:18:52,342 --> 00:18:55,470 Three. Illogical persons are despised. 281 00:18:56,012 --> 00:18:58,765 Therefore, babies cannot manage crocodiles. 282 00:19:00,725 --> 00:19:03,478 And then one day I was with my friend Phil Carey 283 00:19:03,478 --> 00:19:06,147 and we decided to have an adventure. 284 00:19:06,147 --> 00:19:09,734 Phil got this assignment in his class. I don't know what the assignment was, 285 00:19:09,734 --> 00:19:12,279 but it was to interview someone, so he asked Aaron Copland. 286 00:19:12,279 --> 00:19:15,407 And Aaron Copland said, "Yeah." 287 00:19:15,407 --> 00:19:18,159 {\an8}He had not been across country 288 00:19:18,159 --> 00:19:22,038 {\an8}and had not been in a lot of these small towns. 289 00:19:22,038 --> 00:19:26,668 There were places that I thought, "Steve needs to see this." 290 00:19:27,627 --> 00:19:30,213 Phil and I were in sync. You know how that goes. 291 00:19:30,213 --> 00:19:32,966 When you have a close friend you can riff with. 292 00:19:32,966 --> 00:19:35,343 That's what happened on that trip. 293 00:19:35,343 --> 00:19:38,221 I've got a good name for a product. Meat Wax. 294 00:19:38,221 --> 00:19:41,224 "Hi, friends. Are you tired of having a dull, rotten body? 295 00:19:41,224 --> 00:19:44,895 Well, you can make it gleam again with new spray on Meat Wax." 296 00:19:44,895 --> 00:19:50,609 We sort of shared interests in the strange and wonderful about life. 297 00:19:50,609 --> 00:19:52,402 I was still 20, 298 00:19:52,402 --> 00:19:56,197 and I was proud to make it to New York City before I turned 21. 299 00:19:56,197 --> 00:19:59,910 And when Phil and I got there, we ran over to the Museum of Modern Art. 300 00:19:59,910 --> 00:20:01,786 Because we had to see Guernica. 301 00:20:05,248 --> 00:20:07,834 So, what is happening in 1964? 302 00:20:07,834 --> 00:20:11,338 You have an explosion in the art world. 303 00:20:11,338 --> 00:20:15,133 You have a culture shifting with The Beatles. 304 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:17,010 Give us a kiss. 305 00:20:17,010 --> 00:20:20,347 {\an8}So, when I looked at my so-called act, 306 00:20:20,347 --> 00:20:25,143 it was natural to think, "What makes them want to see this again? 307 00:20:25,143 --> 00:20:28,855 What would make them go home and talk about it?" 308 00:20:30,982 --> 00:20:36,196 Even if it was just, "I just saw the weirdest thing," you know? 309 00:20:36,196 --> 00:20:40,784 "A comedian who thinks he's funny, and isn't." 310 00:20:40,784 --> 00:20:44,704 I thought, there's something there. 311 00:20:47,165 --> 00:20:50,210 {\an8}I mailed a postcard to my fabulous college girlfriend. 312 00:20:50,961 --> 00:20:54,965 {\an8}"Dear Nina, I have decided my act is going to go avant-garde. 313 00:20:54,965 --> 00:20:58,093 {\an8}It is the only way to do what I want." 314 00:20:59,135 --> 00:21:03,765 I have no idea what I meant except that I wasn't going to be traditional. 315 00:21:05,267 --> 00:21:06,226 I guess. 316 00:21:07,811 --> 00:21:11,940 Now, ladies and gentlemen... Steve Martin. 317 00:21:11,940 --> 00:21:14,693 Good evening, thank you. Thank you very much, this is too much. 318 00:21:14,693 --> 00:21:17,362 Really, too much. Thank you. Thank you. 319 00:21:17,362 --> 00:21:19,781 It's my farewell performance, so thank you very much. 320 00:21:19,781 --> 00:21:21,283 So long, and thank you very much. 321 00:21:21,283 --> 00:21:22,492 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. 322 00:21:22,492 --> 00:21:25,328 or hello, or whatever time it is wherever you are. 323 00:21:25,328 --> 00:21:26,955 Good evening and welcome to the show. 324 00:21:26,955 --> 00:21:29,749 My name is Steve Martin and I'll be out here in just a moment. 325 00:21:29,749 --> 00:21:31,543 And while we're waiting for me, 326 00:21:31,543 --> 00:21:33,753 I'd like to announce, first of all, that two weeks ago, 327 00:21:33,753 --> 00:21:38,091 I recorded my first live comedy album. 328 00:21:38,091 --> 00:21:42,137 And two days from tonight, we're going to erase it. 329 00:21:42,137 --> 00:21:44,389 So, that's why I'm sort of out here. 330 00:21:45,557 --> 00:21:47,559 That's funny, isn't it? 331 00:21:48,184 --> 00:21:51,354 Yes, comedy is king in this amazing world. 332 00:21:51,354 --> 00:21:53,773 You know, laughter is so important. 333 00:21:53,773 --> 00:21:57,068 It's really the one thing that distinguishes 334 00:21:57,068 --> 00:21:59,654 a human being from all the other creatures, you know, 335 00:21:59,654 --> 00:22:03,408 is that ability when something funny happens to really be able to lean back 336 00:22:03,408 --> 00:22:06,244 and go, "Funny." 337 00:22:10,582 --> 00:22:13,001 The clubs would hire comedians. 338 00:22:13,001 --> 00:22:15,503 They were always the opening act. 339 00:22:15,503 --> 00:22:19,591 {\an8}It was my only bar scene ever, and I didn't real-- 340 00:22:19,591 --> 00:22:23,428 Sounds just like a California "ever" when I said that, but anyway. 341 00:22:24,554 --> 00:22:26,723 The mecca was the Troubadour. 342 00:22:27,933 --> 00:22:30,393 Even though there was a club called The Mecca. 343 00:22:31,019 --> 00:22:32,979 ...welcome to Steve Martin. 344 00:22:34,356 --> 00:22:35,523 Thank you. 345 00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:39,110 Thank you. Well, shoot. 346 00:22:40,111 --> 00:22:44,407 You've really been a wonderful audience, and thank you very much and goodnight. 347 00:22:47,369 --> 00:22:51,665 No, I just thought I'd say that. As he said, I was doing the Bishop show... 348 00:22:51,665 --> 00:22:53,750 {\an8}Usually, he'd do two shows. 349 00:22:53,750 --> 00:22:56,169 {\an8}There could be, like, six people in the audience. 350 00:22:56,795 --> 00:22:58,838 It was weird to watch when nobody laughed, 351 00:22:58,838 --> 00:23:01,049 because then you're like, "Oh, is this funny?" 352 00:23:03,552 --> 00:23:05,929 Here we are in the alley behind the Troubadour 353 00:23:05,929 --> 00:23:07,847 with Mr. Steve Martin. 354 00:23:08,723 --> 00:23:10,183 Yes, yes, it's me. 355 00:23:10,183 --> 00:23:11,518 Ladies and gentlemen, if you're listening, 356 00:23:11,518 --> 00:23:14,479 some people just walked by and recognized me here. Exciting-- 357 00:23:14,479 --> 00:23:15,772 Woody Allen, right? 358 00:23:15,772 --> 00:23:17,774 No, no, no, no. 359 00:23:17,774 --> 00:23:19,359 Are you Jerry Lewis? 360 00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:22,153 No, this is Steve Martin. The King of Comedy. 361 00:23:22,737 --> 00:23:24,281 I've never heard of Steve Martin. 362 00:23:24,281 --> 00:23:25,365 Make me laugh. 363 00:23:27,534 --> 00:23:29,119 But then there'd be a second show 364 00:23:29,119 --> 00:23:32,372 and people had been drinking and you know, it would go great. 365 00:23:32,372 --> 00:23:35,792 But now I realize a lot of you people are sitting out there saying to yourself, 366 00:23:35,792 --> 00:23:38,795 "Oh, this is just another banjo magic act." 367 00:23:40,755 --> 00:23:43,133 "But when is he going to do balloon animals?" 368 00:23:44,885 --> 00:23:48,346 Once they got him, he had them. 369 00:24:07,449 --> 00:24:11,411 I think I tried hard to get him to be romantic that summer. 370 00:24:12,871 --> 00:24:17,334 His brain works in many interesting, different ways. 371 00:24:17,334 --> 00:24:21,171 "Dear, dear Mitz. Actually, nothing much is happening. 372 00:24:21,171 --> 00:24:25,050 I auditioned at the Golden Horseshoe, but haven't heard back." 373 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:29,179 "I'm in the process of growing a moustache, are you?" 374 00:24:37,062 --> 00:24:38,813 He had fun with my family. 375 00:24:39,522 --> 00:24:42,734 We would smoke a little pot and laugh and eat. 376 00:24:45,028 --> 00:24:47,614 {\an8}My father was a writer, a screenwriter. 377 00:24:48,657 --> 00:24:52,285 {\an8}He and many of his friends were blacklisted. 378 00:24:53,328 --> 00:24:57,332 There'd be dinners with artists, writers. 379 00:24:58,541 --> 00:25:01,044 It's the first time I ever saw art in a house. 380 00:25:02,587 --> 00:25:05,298 Conversation was the opposite of my own. 381 00:25:06,132 --> 00:25:09,594 Dinner with my parents was silent. 382 00:25:12,514 --> 00:25:16,726 That was the first time I walked into another complete life. 383 00:25:17,769 --> 00:25:19,729 Another kind of life. 384 00:25:42,752 --> 00:25:45,463 You know, the way we look at each other when we're that age, 385 00:25:45,463 --> 00:25:47,591 we don't know anything about anything. 386 00:25:48,258 --> 00:25:50,552 And so, I broke up with Steve. 387 00:25:51,136 --> 00:25:53,263 I think I could have seen that he would go someplace. 388 00:25:53,263 --> 00:25:56,766 I didn't think he'd stop. And he didn't. 389 00:25:58,393 --> 00:26:00,061 This is one of the most beautiful sights... 390 00:26:00,061 --> 00:26:03,648 I once performed at a drive-in movie theater. 391 00:26:03,648 --> 00:26:07,235 If they thought something was funny, they honked. 392 00:26:09,487 --> 00:26:11,615 When people say, "Hey, mind if I smoke?" 393 00:26:11,615 --> 00:26:13,825 I say, "No, you mind if I fart?" 394 00:26:21,291 --> 00:26:24,169 I thought, "No, I can't let this turn into my life. 395 00:26:25,045 --> 00:26:28,465 I don't wanna be doing this in my 50s, 60s. 396 00:26:29,299 --> 00:26:33,720 So, I'll give myself till 30 to make it." 397 00:26:38,725 --> 00:26:41,603 You know, I'd work at night. I'd go to college in the day. 398 00:26:42,312 --> 00:26:47,734 And I'm thinking, "How do I earn a living? What do I do?" 399 00:26:48,777 --> 00:26:52,989 "August 9th, auditioned for The Mighty Hercules TV show." 400 00:26:53,949 --> 00:26:56,117 Quit now, Hercules, you don't stand a chance. 401 00:26:57,035 --> 00:26:59,079 That's what you think. Here I come, Theseus. 402 00:26:59,079 --> 00:27:00,372 "Didn't get it." 403 00:27:01,957 --> 00:27:06,962 I was definitely thinking of becoming a professor of philosophy 404 00:27:06,962 --> 00:27:10,423 because I always felt that teaching was show business. 405 00:27:11,132 --> 00:27:13,301 You're standing up in front of people. 406 00:27:14,302 --> 00:27:18,139 You know, and then this opportunity came through with The Smothers Brothers. 407 00:27:18,139 --> 00:27:20,141 Which was a hit show. 408 00:27:21,226 --> 00:27:25,313 So, here's my brother Tom with, for the first time on television, 409 00:27:25,313 --> 00:27:29,025 30, count them, folks, 30 topless dancers. 410 00:27:30,986 --> 00:27:33,905 They were casting around for young writers. 411 00:27:35,824 --> 00:27:37,867 I thought, "Well, that's show business." 412 00:27:42,414 --> 00:27:44,499 I had been performing stand-up comedy around town 413 00:27:44,499 --> 00:27:46,668 and they had heard a little bit about me. 414 00:27:49,045 --> 00:27:50,964 I've got a great practical joke. 415 00:27:50,964 --> 00:27:53,216 Do you want to play it on your friends? It's really funny. 416 00:27:53,216 --> 00:27:55,719 You're invited to one of those big dinner parties, 417 00:27:55,719 --> 00:27:59,055 walk in and throw the salad on the floor. 418 00:28:00,181 --> 00:28:02,392 I did that at the last party I went to. 419 00:28:03,268 --> 00:28:05,687 That was about two years ago. 420 00:28:06,271 --> 00:28:08,607 And the only thing I'd written were some jokes in my act 421 00:28:08,607 --> 00:28:11,234 and a few, little, weird, short stories. 422 00:28:11,860 --> 00:28:14,613 But my girlfriend was dating the head writer. 423 00:28:15,447 --> 00:28:17,574 Remember, this is 1967. 424 00:28:18,241 --> 00:28:21,953 {\an8}I would go out to The Ice House four or five times a week. 425 00:28:21,953 --> 00:28:25,624 {\an8}I probably saw him 20 or 30 times there. 426 00:28:26,082 --> 00:28:28,168 When you see something 30 times, 427 00:28:29,252 --> 00:28:31,838 you start to see the essence of what's going on. 428 00:28:32,756 --> 00:28:34,507 And they hired me. 429 00:28:34,507 --> 00:28:36,885 I was launched into the stratosphere. 430 00:28:37,427 --> 00:28:40,430 From nowhere to somewhere in a week. 431 00:28:47,270 --> 00:28:49,773 I was scared out of my mind. 432 00:28:51,691 --> 00:28:54,694 I would say he was a little bit shy. 433 00:28:54,694 --> 00:28:55,987 Rolling! 434 00:28:55,987 --> 00:28:57,614 We didn't have an office for him, 435 00:28:57,614 --> 00:29:01,993 and he would sit in the hallway outside of the writers' room. 436 00:29:01,993 --> 00:29:03,662 And just leaning against the wall. 437 00:29:05,247 --> 00:29:07,540 I went in and, you know, I wrote something. 438 00:29:08,583 --> 00:29:11,002 Mason circled a line and he said, 439 00:29:11,002 --> 00:29:14,548 "That's the punchline and we'll just take it and put it at the end." 440 00:29:18,510 --> 00:29:21,263 Started having anxiety attacks. 441 00:29:22,806 --> 00:29:25,350 I really struggled with it for many, many years. 442 00:29:30,689 --> 00:29:35,819 "Well, here I am... alive. Now what do I do? 443 00:29:36,820 --> 00:29:40,991 Two days ago, I went through what was the worst experience of my life. 444 00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:46,454 Fantastically rapid palpitation of the heart accompanied by fear. 445 00:29:48,331 --> 00:29:50,500 I felt very detached from the world. 446 00:29:50,500 --> 00:29:53,253 No past, only a distant present. 447 00:29:53,962 --> 00:29:55,589 I was very disjointed at work. 448 00:29:55,589 --> 00:29:58,300 I could not talk without stumbling over words. 449 00:29:58,967 --> 00:30:00,844 I had thoughts of quitting." 450 00:30:02,637 --> 00:30:05,181 Who is that disgusting person? 451 00:30:06,850 --> 00:30:08,143 "And then... 452 00:30:08,977 --> 00:30:12,939 I drove home and realized that I am pretty fucking great. 453 00:30:12,939 --> 00:30:15,859 I have a good job. I have a creative job. 454 00:30:16,359 --> 00:30:18,695 I have a good act, an artistic act. 455 00:30:19,237 --> 00:30:20,739 I have a mind. 456 00:30:21,698 --> 00:30:26,661 I decided to think of my work as an end rather than happiness as an end. 457 00:30:28,496 --> 00:30:30,665 That is a good idea." 458 00:30:32,959 --> 00:30:35,128 I mean, Tommy Smothers once said, 459 00:30:35,128 --> 00:30:38,173 "Talking to Steve Martin is like talking to nobody." 460 00:30:40,842 --> 00:30:42,594 And he was right. 461 00:30:42,594 --> 00:30:46,389 {\an8}I'd like to introduce you, but I can't quite decide how to describe your act. 462 00:30:46,389 --> 00:30:47,641 {\an8}What would you suggest? 463 00:30:47,641 --> 00:30:49,059 Oh, how about... 464 00:30:50,185 --> 00:30:52,437 ..."world's greatest comedian"? 465 00:30:54,272 --> 00:30:55,273 No. 466 00:30:58,401 --> 00:31:00,528 Hi, I'm the world's greatest comedian. 467 00:31:01,446 --> 00:31:03,573 Hello. Thank you. Thank you very much. 468 00:31:04,908 --> 00:31:07,744 Thank you. Well, thank you. 469 00:31:10,038 --> 00:31:12,749 This is too much. I didn't expect this. Thank you. 470 00:31:12,749 --> 00:31:15,627 I'd like to start off with something that's an old gag 471 00:31:15,627 --> 00:31:17,587 and I haven't really perfected it yet, 472 00:31:17,587 --> 00:31:20,465 but something that's always funny no matter how many times you see it, 473 00:31:20,465 --> 00:31:22,968 it's the old forgetting your own name gag. 474 00:31:22,968 --> 00:31:26,346 This is where I start to say my own name 475 00:31:26,346 --> 00:31:28,181 and then, suddenly, I pretend like I forgot it. 476 00:31:28,181 --> 00:31:31,101 Now, I haven't perfected this yet, but something that's really funny. 477 00:31:31,101 --> 00:31:34,604 So, here we go, the old forgetting your own name gag. 478 00:31:40,026 --> 00:31:41,736 Hi, folks, I'm Steve Martin. 479 00:31:42,529 --> 00:31:44,155 Oh, I blew it. 480 00:31:47,367 --> 00:31:50,787 Peace, now! Peace, now! Peace, now! 481 00:31:50,787 --> 00:31:53,582 The Vietnam War was raging, 482 00:31:53,582 --> 00:31:57,002 and everyone had really long hair and was very, very serious. 483 00:31:57,002 --> 00:31:58,795 Instead of making war, it's better to just stay... 484 00:31:58,795 --> 00:32:01,548 - Let's stay in bed for three years. - And grow your hair. 485 00:32:01,548 --> 00:32:02,966 - Yes. - For peace. 486 00:32:04,384 --> 00:32:08,346 Well, I feel that every act should contain some kind of social comment 487 00:32:08,346 --> 00:32:11,099 and something really meaningful. 488 00:32:11,099 --> 00:32:14,185 So, right now, I'd like to do my balloon animals. 489 00:32:17,105 --> 00:32:17,939 Here we go. 490 00:32:19,065 --> 00:32:22,152 This is really fun. This is for the kids. 491 00:32:23,612 --> 00:32:25,155 All comedy was political. 492 00:32:26,615 --> 00:32:28,533 And you could just mention the name Nixon 493 00:32:28,533 --> 00:32:31,745 and get a big laugh or boo or some huge response. 494 00:32:33,163 --> 00:32:37,334 And I felt that it was time to change that. 495 00:32:39,377 --> 00:32:44,007 {\an8}At the time, the comedians were into talking about the war, 496 00:32:44,007 --> 00:32:47,469 {\an8}talking about some maybe off-color stuff. 497 00:32:47,469 --> 00:32:52,098 Oh, beautiful for smoggy skies Insecticided grain 498 00:32:52,098 --> 00:32:53,475 Well, I'm with the women's libs too, man. 499 00:32:53,475 --> 00:32:56,353 You can pay all the check and leave a big tip too. 500 00:32:56,353 --> 00:32:59,439 I'd hate to be white, 'cause y'all got to go to the Moon. 501 00:32:59,439 --> 00:33:03,985 Hey, man, let's organize and help them white motherfuckers get to the Moon, 502 00:33:03,985 --> 00:33:05,946 so they leave us alone. 503 00:33:09,032 --> 00:33:10,909 Steve was simply silly. 504 00:33:12,535 --> 00:33:14,579 What he was doing was unique. It was chancy. 505 00:33:14,579 --> 00:33:17,374 No one thought it was brilliant, including Steve. 506 00:33:17,916 --> 00:33:19,793 Now, I know this really looks stupid. 507 00:33:21,878 --> 00:33:26,132 And it looks like there's no explanation for what I just did, but let me explain. 508 00:33:27,884 --> 00:33:29,344 You see... 509 00:33:37,686 --> 00:33:39,938 I got nothing but bad reviews. 510 00:33:44,192 --> 00:33:47,112 "The worst thing to ever happen to American comedy." I remember that. 511 00:33:48,321 --> 00:33:53,410 "Steve Martin, who I consider to be the luckiest person in show business." 512 00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:56,496 While we're waiting for me, I'd like to do a comedy routine 513 00:33:56,496 --> 00:33:58,081 that's sort of been a big one for me. 514 00:33:58,081 --> 00:34:01,042 I'm sure most of you will recognize the title when I mention it. 515 00:34:01,042 --> 00:34:03,962 It's the comedy nose on microphone routine. 516 00:34:04,713 --> 00:34:06,172 No, no. 517 00:34:06,756 --> 00:34:10,552 Even better, he said, "The world's luckiest amateur." 518 00:34:11,970 --> 00:34:14,389 Well, you know, kind of true. 519 00:34:20,561 --> 00:34:22,606 Even I have to chuckle on that. 520 00:34:23,481 --> 00:34:24,816 But I liked it. 521 00:34:25,358 --> 00:34:28,028 And I just wanted it to work. 522 00:34:28,778 --> 00:34:30,530 All right, I'm gonna do some meditation for you now. 523 00:34:30,530 --> 00:34:33,199 Some yoga meditation on my meditation stool. 524 00:34:33,199 --> 00:34:37,329 You sit on the meditation stool, just like this. 525 00:34:38,371 --> 00:34:40,999 And then you get something to read, you know. 526 00:34:41,666 --> 00:34:43,919 And meditate. Just like this. 527 00:34:44,419 --> 00:34:46,253 This was the hippie days. 528 00:34:46,713 --> 00:34:49,590 Welcome, brothers. Peace. 529 00:34:49,590 --> 00:34:52,427 It was just... That was the style, I was in with the style. 530 00:34:52,427 --> 00:34:56,181 If you didn't have long hair and smoke marijuana, you were an outcast. 531 00:34:56,181 --> 00:34:58,725 I think the pill's taking effect. 532 00:34:58,725 --> 00:35:01,228 I feel so groovy. 533 00:35:01,228 --> 00:35:03,063 How do you feel, kitty? 534 00:35:03,063 --> 00:35:05,190 But I never smoked pot, and I never... 535 00:35:05,190 --> 00:35:09,027 I couldn't take aspirin. I was so afraid of anxiety attacks. 536 00:35:09,027 --> 00:35:11,446 You smoke this. I think you might enjoy it. 537 00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:15,158 {\an8}- What do you think of my hair? - Awful. 538 00:35:17,994 --> 00:35:19,663 {\an8}You look like like Charles Manson. 539 00:35:20,664 --> 00:35:22,749 {\an8}Well, I mean, you look like a... Well, you look like a... 540 00:35:22,749 --> 00:35:25,669 {\an8}you look like a simian. 541 00:35:27,671 --> 00:35:29,839 Like from the San Francisco Zoo. 542 00:35:30,507 --> 00:35:33,260 Or the San Diego Zoo, which is even worse. 543 00:35:37,013 --> 00:35:39,474 I don't think it does anything for your career. 544 00:35:43,645 --> 00:35:46,982 I always thought my father was a little embarrassed by me. 545 00:35:48,275 --> 00:35:52,862 He couldn't quite be proud of an unconventional showbiz act 546 00:35:52,862 --> 00:35:55,615 that he didn't quite understand. 547 00:35:56,074 --> 00:36:00,287 By that time, I had been so, kind of, alienated from my father 548 00:36:00,287 --> 00:36:05,125 that negative comments were actually my encouragement. 549 00:36:10,589 --> 00:36:14,342 {\an8}About 1970, Ann-Margret and her husband, Roger Smith hired me 550 00:36:14,342 --> 00:36:16,011 {\an8}to open the show for them in Vegas. 551 00:36:16,011 --> 00:36:17,971 And I was, like, I was a star. 552 00:36:17,971 --> 00:36:21,099 And they had this fantastic dressing room that was better than any house 553 00:36:21,099 --> 00:36:23,018 I've ever lived in my life. 554 00:36:23,018 --> 00:36:27,022 And I see Elvis coming back to visit Ann-Margret. 555 00:36:27,022 --> 00:36:29,566 He was all in white, and he had the big belt, 556 00:36:29,566 --> 00:36:32,027 and he goes past my dressing room, and he says, 557 00:36:32,027 --> 00:36:35,697 "Son, you have an oblique sense of humor. 558 00:36:36,281 --> 00:36:37,991 You want to see my guns?" 559 00:36:42,037 --> 00:36:43,663 Hello, thank you very much. 560 00:36:45,874 --> 00:36:49,753 Well, this is too much. Whoa, thank you, you're beautiful... 561 00:36:49,753 --> 00:36:51,171 It was the Hilton. 562 00:36:52,255 --> 00:36:53,882 Thank God it's gone. 563 00:36:54,799 --> 00:36:58,678 It had the highest ceiling of any theater, which is a disaster for comedy, 564 00:36:58,678 --> 00:37:01,514 which means the laughs just sort of... They don't gel. 565 00:37:01,514 --> 00:37:06,311 They just go up into the air and they just dissipate, you know, like smoke. 566 00:37:06,311 --> 00:37:09,564 This is my impression of The Incredible Shrinking Man. 567 00:37:09,564 --> 00:37:13,860 Now, in order for me to do this, you have to close your eyes, 568 00:37:13,860 --> 00:37:16,905 just for about three seconds, and then open them again. 569 00:37:16,905 --> 00:37:21,284 And you will see right before you, The Incredible Shrinking Man. 570 00:37:21,284 --> 00:37:25,121 So, everyone, close your eyes. I'll tell you when to open them. 571 00:37:28,291 --> 00:37:29,626 Okay, open them! 572 00:37:33,171 --> 00:37:35,006 Well, ladies and gentlemen. 573 00:37:36,132 --> 00:37:41,096 Well, thank you very much, really. Too much. All right. 574 00:37:41,972 --> 00:37:45,725 The fabulous glove into dove trick. 575 00:37:50,522 --> 00:37:52,107 The napkin trick. 576 00:37:56,653 --> 00:37:58,446 I think the glove's better. 577 00:38:08,081 --> 00:38:10,458 A little delayed reaction there. 578 00:38:11,501 --> 00:38:14,045 Has Ann-Margret come on yet? 579 00:38:14,045 --> 00:38:18,091 And I went back and all my stuff in my dressing room was in the hallway. 580 00:38:19,217 --> 00:38:20,218 In boxes. 581 00:38:21,803 --> 00:38:22,929 That's how... 582 00:38:24,389 --> 00:38:26,016 That's how hot I was. 583 00:38:29,603 --> 00:38:32,814 {\an8}Okay, we have you in your glory. 584 00:38:33,315 --> 00:38:36,526 {\an8}- All right. - Now, what's new, besides the beard? 585 00:38:37,944 --> 00:38:41,406 Well, here I am, I'm standing in front of my parents' house. 586 00:38:41,406 --> 00:38:45,702 I'm 25 years old now. I guess I'm a black sheep. 587 00:38:48,496 --> 00:38:51,750 Well, I mean, we've got you, so we're stuck with you. 588 00:38:51,750 --> 00:38:54,878 - That's right. - But the question is why? I mean, why? 589 00:38:54,878 --> 00:38:57,505 Well, I was thinking about that the other day and the reason is 590 00:38:57,505 --> 00:39:02,385 I've decided, is that in my job or in my life anymore, 591 00:39:02,385 --> 00:39:05,305 I don't have any authorities over me. 592 00:39:05,305 --> 00:39:07,057 If I had a job I'd have a boss. 593 00:39:08,308 --> 00:39:11,102 If I were living with my parents, I'd have my parents, but I don't. 594 00:39:11,102 --> 00:39:16,524 I just work for myself and get paid for being me. 595 00:39:17,025 --> 00:39:19,611 But I was trying to be somebody else here. 596 00:39:19,611 --> 00:39:22,781 Somebody said, "Oh, you look like you're trying to be the Eagles." 597 00:39:23,615 --> 00:39:27,827 And I wasn't making any waves, so I made a decision. 598 00:39:27,827 --> 00:39:30,538 Instead of being at the tail end of an old movement, 599 00:39:30,538 --> 00:39:32,666 I'll be at the front end of a new one. 600 00:39:37,546 --> 00:39:42,676 Whenever I shave off my beard, I like to use Gillette Foamy. 601 00:39:44,844 --> 00:39:46,930 When I worked with Bob Einstein, he said, 602 00:39:46,930 --> 00:39:49,808 "You know what's gonna help you? Age." 603 00:39:49,808 --> 00:39:51,142 And he was right. 604 00:39:52,018 --> 00:39:55,647 Because the act looked juvenile. 605 00:39:57,357 --> 00:40:00,485 That's why it helped when my hair turned grey a little bit. 606 00:40:01,736 --> 00:40:05,031 You'll always have to think that a grown man was doing this. 607 00:40:07,075 --> 00:40:09,911 And so I decided, "Okay, I'm putting on a suit, 608 00:40:09,911 --> 00:40:12,205 I'm putting on a tie and I'm cutting my hair." 609 00:40:14,165 --> 00:40:16,543 Instead of looking like a hippie from the '60s, 610 00:40:16,543 --> 00:40:19,087 I'll look like somebody new from the '70s. 611 00:40:19,087 --> 00:40:21,506 Look at that. Thank you very much. 612 00:40:23,258 --> 00:40:25,010 Or like someone from the future. 613 00:40:25,886 --> 00:40:27,304 Thank you very much. 614 00:40:28,138 --> 00:40:29,973 I wanted to do my sound effects bit. 615 00:40:29,973 --> 00:40:32,559 All comedians do sound effects, where you tell a little story, you know, 616 00:40:32,559 --> 00:40:34,644 and sort of make it come to life, 617 00:40:34,644 --> 00:40:36,688 you know, through the use of sound effects. 618 00:40:36,688 --> 00:40:39,107 And I really worked on this. It's done totally with my own voice. 619 00:40:39,107 --> 00:40:41,151 There's no... Do I look all right? 620 00:40:41,151 --> 00:40:43,153 There's no artificial gimmicks or anything. 621 00:40:43,153 --> 00:40:45,530 So, here we go. The old sound effects bit. 622 00:40:47,282 --> 00:40:49,951 Well, I woke up this morning and had a bowl of cornflakes. 623 00:40:56,291 --> 00:40:58,710 Then I went down and started up the car. 624 00:41:02,214 --> 00:41:04,466 Then a band of Hells Angels roared up. 625 00:41:14,059 --> 00:41:16,686 {\an8}We met in Disneyland before our senior year 626 00:41:16,686 --> 00:41:19,898 {\an8}and we worked all summer at the Magic Shop. 627 00:41:19,898 --> 00:41:21,942 We were instant friends. 628 00:41:23,401 --> 00:41:26,655 {\an8}When he started performing solo, I told my brother, 629 00:41:26,655 --> 00:41:30,825 {\an8}"Bill, you gotta go see Steve. He's funny now." 630 00:41:31,618 --> 00:41:33,286 You want a Steve Martin laugh? 631 00:41:35,497 --> 00:41:38,541 My brother had Steve start opening for us. 632 00:41:39,042 --> 00:41:41,127 He'd make $50 or $150 a night. 633 00:41:43,338 --> 00:41:46,258 He believed in Steve and Steve believed in Steve. 634 00:41:46,258 --> 00:41:48,969 No pictures. No pictures. 635 00:41:50,053 --> 00:41:53,056 Steve believed in Steve the least. 636 00:41:54,182 --> 00:41:57,477 ...like to use good mic technique, and this is basically it. 637 00:41:58,061 --> 00:41:59,688 Thank you, and good night. 638 00:42:06,528 --> 00:42:08,280 Good evening. I'm Linda Ron... Oh! 639 00:42:09,948 --> 00:42:11,866 I opened for everybody. 640 00:42:12,492 --> 00:42:16,955 The Carpenters, Mimi FariƱa, Sonny and Cher, Poco, B.B. King, 641 00:42:16,955 --> 00:42:19,165 Sha Na Na, Merle Haggard. 642 00:42:19,165 --> 00:42:21,001 Black Oak Arkansas. 643 00:42:24,004 --> 00:42:27,674 I don't remember opening for Black Oak Arkansas, but it must be a fact. 644 00:42:28,133 --> 00:42:29,551 Well, thank you very much. 645 00:42:29,551 --> 00:42:33,054 It was great for a while, but I realized it was going nowhere. 646 00:42:33,054 --> 00:42:35,724 I'm just going to do about ten minutes because... 647 00:42:37,058 --> 00:42:38,935 Thank you, thank you. 648 00:42:39,769 --> 00:42:41,813 Well, how about five minutes? 649 00:42:42,647 --> 00:42:47,152 I'd go do a show and I'd get paid $200 for the show, 650 00:42:47,152 --> 00:42:49,905 and it would cost me $250 to get there and get back. 651 00:42:51,281 --> 00:42:52,908 What am I doing wrong? 652 00:42:53,909 --> 00:42:57,245 No matter how good I am, no matter how I went over, 653 00:42:58,038 --> 00:42:59,497 nobody cared. 654 00:43:00,415 --> 00:43:02,918 {\an8}Dirt Band! Dirt Band! 655 00:43:03,501 --> 00:43:05,587 {\an8}That's what he'd hear a lot during his show. 656 00:43:06,963 --> 00:43:08,673 I can remember being off stage 657 00:43:08,673 --> 00:43:11,301 and you hear the noise of the audience before the shows, kind of like... 658 00:43:12,844 --> 00:43:14,846 And then they go, "And now, Steve Martin," 659 00:43:14,846 --> 00:43:18,516 and there's no sound change, no applause. 660 00:43:20,268 --> 00:43:22,646 It just continues and you start doing your act and there's still... 661 00:43:22,646 --> 00:43:24,522 Yeah, you're-- It was a battle. 662 00:43:27,025 --> 00:43:29,819 If I turn 30, I'd better start looking for something else, 663 00:43:29,819 --> 00:43:33,240 'cause I thought, you know, this... I just don't want to end up doing this. 664 00:43:35,742 --> 00:43:39,371 Aspen, December 28th, 1974. 665 00:43:40,538 --> 00:43:42,499 "Jack Benny died yesterday 666 00:43:42,499 --> 00:43:45,752 and that would be the proper time for the beginning of a journal. 667 00:43:46,586 --> 00:43:50,257 Jack Benny's voice was one of the earliest sounds I know, 668 00:43:50,257 --> 00:43:54,761 and that sound has been perhaps what I want to create." 669 00:43:54,761 --> 00:43:57,013 Did you see my wife? No, I haven't. 670 00:43:57,013 --> 00:43:58,682 Matter of fact, I don't even know your wife. 671 00:43:58,682 --> 00:44:00,850 Then how do you know you didn't see her? 672 00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:02,561 Have you ever seen me before? 673 00:44:02,561 --> 00:44:04,521 No? Then how do you know it's me? 674 00:44:08,692 --> 00:44:11,194 Sometimes, like the night in New York City, 675 00:44:11,194 --> 00:44:16,074 I sobbed in my hotel room after watching old film clips of comedians. 676 00:44:17,617 --> 00:44:19,452 I'm getting happy feet! 677 00:44:21,580 --> 00:44:23,999 "I must develop the use of my body more. 678 00:44:25,041 --> 00:44:29,254 I was using it well, I thought. But few laughed." 679 00:44:30,255 --> 00:44:33,466 Because audiences of 1974 were terrible. 680 00:44:33,925 --> 00:44:35,635 They're conditioned through late night rock shows 681 00:44:35,635 --> 00:44:38,138 to yell and participate vocally in a show. 682 00:44:38,930 --> 00:44:40,765 Now make orange juice! 683 00:44:44,227 --> 00:44:45,645 "No thanks." 684 00:44:46,980 --> 00:44:50,358 "So, this year will be very revealing of myself. 685 00:44:50,358 --> 00:44:52,444 I intend to perform only. 686 00:44:52,986 --> 00:44:56,197 No slipshod halfway shows in hostile environments." 687 00:44:59,951 --> 00:45:05,040 And that was the first time I thought, "Headline. Don't open." 688 00:45:09,127 --> 00:45:11,254 When you headline, it has a different power. 689 00:45:13,298 --> 00:45:17,802 So I went from playing 500 seat places, opening for somebody, 690 00:45:17,802 --> 00:45:20,263 to playing for literally 40 people. 691 00:45:21,598 --> 00:45:24,851 I got a great dirty trick you can play on a three-year-old kid. 692 00:45:26,436 --> 00:45:30,148 See, kids learn how to talk from listening to their parents. 693 00:45:30,774 --> 00:45:32,525 See, what you do, you have a three-year-old kid 694 00:45:32,525 --> 00:45:34,069 and you want to play a dirty trick on them. 695 00:45:34,069 --> 00:45:36,363 You talk wrong. 696 00:45:37,447 --> 00:45:39,866 So, now it's like his first day in school, and he raises his hand, 697 00:45:39,866 --> 00:45:41,826 "May I mambo dog face to the banana patch?" 698 00:45:53,505 --> 00:45:55,048 But it worked. 699 00:45:56,299 --> 00:45:59,261 More! More! More! 700 00:46:12,816 --> 00:46:16,236 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. 701 00:46:16,236 --> 00:46:18,154 This is too much. Thank you. 702 00:46:19,614 --> 00:46:23,326 Okay, I guess I'll just practice one joke for tonight's show. 703 00:46:24,244 --> 00:46:26,371 Well, this grasshopper walks into a bar. 704 00:46:26,371 --> 00:46:30,208 The bartender says, "Hey, we got a drink named after you." 705 00:46:30,208 --> 00:46:34,379 And the grasshopper says, "You mean you got a drink named Fred?" 706 00:46:34,379 --> 00:46:36,256 Laughter, laughter, laughter, laughter. 707 00:46:36,256 --> 00:46:38,425 "Hey, we got a drink named after you." 708 00:46:38,425 --> 00:46:41,761 And the grasshopper says, "You mean you got a drink named Fred?" 709 00:46:41,761 --> 00:46:44,431 Laughter, laughter, laughter. 710 00:46:46,474 --> 00:46:49,394 {\an8}Steve was always trying to find an audience, 711 00:46:49,394 --> 00:46:52,856 {\an8}finding some here and some over there. 712 00:46:53,607 --> 00:46:56,651 I've seen the world from both sides now! 713 00:46:56,651 --> 00:46:59,362 From upside down and round and round. 714 00:46:59,362 --> 00:47:02,198 And I only have one question. 715 00:47:03,241 --> 00:47:05,076 Where am I? 716 00:47:06,036 --> 00:47:09,372 We've got to remind you that you're listening to WRVU, Nashville. 717 00:47:09,372 --> 00:47:10,707 Where are you appearing next? 718 00:47:10,707 --> 00:47:14,169 We'll give you a Johnny Carson type plug, make me feel just like JC. 719 00:47:14,169 --> 00:47:16,338 {\an8}Well, Johnny, I'll be at the... 720 00:47:16,338 --> 00:47:18,173 {\an8}I don't know where I'll be, as a matter of fact. 721 00:47:18,173 --> 00:47:21,801 I think I'm going to Russellville. I don't even know what state that's in. 722 00:47:22,552 --> 00:47:23,553 Yes? 723 00:47:24,095 --> 00:47:25,263 Should I answer that? 724 00:47:25,263 --> 00:47:28,308 Hello, BSU, WPWPW, yes? 725 00:47:28,308 --> 00:47:30,518 I saw you with your arrow through your head. 726 00:47:30,518 --> 00:47:32,437 - You did? - Yeah, it was intense. 727 00:47:32,437 --> 00:47:35,273 I have never, ever worn an arrow through my head. 728 00:47:35,273 --> 00:47:39,527 That's the peculiar thing. You must be mistaking me for someone else. 729 00:47:39,527 --> 00:47:41,238 - Hello? - You're on the air. 730 00:47:41,238 --> 00:47:43,240 - I'm on the air? - Well, yes. 731 00:47:43,240 --> 00:47:44,824 - He asked you first. - Is this Steve Martin? 732 00:47:46,826 --> 00:47:48,495 - Could be. - It could be? 733 00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:51,706 Well, I'm at the party room in Hemingway. 734 00:47:51,706 --> 00:47:53,458 The only thing we're missing is you. 735 00:47:54,626 --> 00:47:55,961 Girls, girls! 736 00:47:56,628 --> 00:47:58,171 Well, I have a sexual problem. 737 00:47:58,171 --> 00:47:59,631 Oh, what's that? 738 00:47:59,631 --> 00:48:01,508 I like to wear men's underwear. 739 00:48:01,508 --> 00:48:04,010 All right! 740 00:48:04,678 --> 00:48:09,182 How many people remember a couple of years ago when the earth blew up? 741 00:48:10,725 --> 00:48:12,602 See, so few people remember that. 742 00:48:12,602 --> 00:48:16,898 And you would think that something like that people would remember, but no. 743 00:48:18,483 --> 00:48:20,443 You don't remember that? 744 00:48:20,443 --> 00:48:22,904 The earth blew up and was completely destroyed. 745 00:48:23,947 --> 00:48:26,783 And we escaped to this planet on the giant space ark. 746 00:48:29,744 --> 00:48:32,122 And the government decided not to tell the stupider people 747 00:48:32,122 --> 00:48:33,915 because they thought it might... 748 00:48:37,961 --> 00:48:39,963 Well, let's move on. 749 00:48:50,056 --> 00:48:53,894 {\an8}There were a lot of college gigs early on. A lot of clubs. 750 00:48:54,978 --> 00:48:58,982 Every club he played in, you'd start to hear Steve Martin routines 751 00:48:58,982 --> 00:49:00,775 coming from the staff. 752 00:49:00,775 --> 00:49:03,987 He just seeped into everybody's consciousness. 753 00:49:08,241 --> 00:49:09,326 Wait a second. 754 00:49:09,326 --> 00:49:13,830 You know, you perform in all kinds of odd performing situations. 755 00:49:15,206 --> 00:49:19,127 I remember one night I was playing for about 100 students. 756 00:49:19,127 --> 00:49:21,463 I'm into language, that's kind of my thing, I guess. 757 00:49:21,463 --> 00:49:23,965 You know, being a professional comedian, you have to have a knowledge of language 758 00:49:23,965 --> 00:49:28,094 and that's... let's face it, some people have a way with words, other people... 759 00:49:32,057 --> 00:49:34,100 ...not have way, I guess. 760 00:49:34,851 --> 00:49:37,437 It wasn't a theater. It was one of those school rooms 761 00:49:37,437 --> 00:49:40,106 with the little stage, like for drama students. 762 00:49:40,106 --> 00:49:43,652 So, there's no wings. You had to exit through the class. 763 00:49:44,945 --> 00:49:48,031 And I finished, and I said, "Thank you and good night." 764 00:49:48,782 --> 00:49:50,659 And they're still sitting there like this. 765 00:49:54,454 --> 00:50:00,001 So, I actually went out and I said, "It's over. It's actually over." 766 00:50:00,794 --> 00:50:02,546 And they still sat there. 767 00:50:05,006 --> 00:50:07,842 So, I went through the audience, and I just started talking. 768 00:50:07,842 --> 00:50:10,178 I have no idea what I was saying. 769 00:50:10,178 --> 00:50:11,972 You know, folks, we've had some fun out here 770 00:50:11,972 --> 00:50:14,057 and I think that's so important. 771 00:50:14,057 --> 00:50:18,270 People come to me, they say, "Steve, what's your motto?" 772 00:50:19,729 --> 00:50:21,356 My motto. 773 00:50:21,356 --> 00:50:22,941 "Laugh once a day. 774 00:50:23,692 --> 00:50:26,194 Because a day without sunshine is like... 775 00:50:26,194 --> 00:50:27,320 ...night." 776 00:50:30,407 --> 00:50:34,536 I left and it had a little bit of a weird Pied Piper effect 777 00:50:34,536 --> 00:50:37,455 because they just started following me. 778 00:50:43,461 --> 00:50:46,590 Eventually, I ended up taking the audience out into the street 779 00:50:46,590 --> 00:50:48,216 and walking around with them. 780 00:50:50,427 --> 00:50:55,098 And I was walking along outside and this audience sort of following along. 781 00:50:55,098 --> 00:50:57,893 And I came across a drained swimming pool. 782 00:50:58,935 --> 00:51:03,064 And I said, "Okay," I said, "Everybody get in the pool. 783 00:51:04,774 --> 00:51:07,152 And now I'm going to swim across you." 784 00:51:11,156 --> 00:51:15,660 I went home that night and I thought, "Oh, something happened. That was good." 785 00:51:18,830 --> 00:51:21,333 And that was the beginning of a very important part of my career 786 00:51:21,333 --> 00:51:23,710 where I left the stage. 787 00:51:26,087 --> 00:51:30,675 Now, I've got to get rambling, and you've been a great crowd, really. 788 00:51:30,675 --> 00:51:34,721 Gee, I think I'll read for a while. 789 00:51:37,641 --> 00:51:39,100 Everything sort of opened up. 790 00:51:41,895 --> 00:51:45,607 {\an8}He'd take people out for hamburgers and order 350 of them 791 00:51:45,607 --> 00:51:47,108 {\an8}or something like that. 792 00:51:47,859 --> 00:51:49,152 Did you see the show tonight? 793 00:51:49,152 --> 00:51:50,779 Yeah, I was with you in Krystal. 794 00:51:51,238 --> 00:51:52,656 Did you enjoy the burger? 795 00:51:52,656 --> 00:51:54,658 No, I didn't get a chance. There were too many people. 796 00:51:54,658 --> 00:51:57,285 All I saw was a couple of waitresses crying. 797 00:51:59,371 --> 00:52:01,081 The last couple of times he did that, in fact, 798 00:52:01,081 --> 00:52:03,708 he drew complaints from neighbors a block away. 799 00:52:03,708 --> 00:52:07,170 They complained to police about the volume of the noise 800 00:52:07,170 --> 00:52:08,880 caused by hundreds of people laughing. 801 00:52:08,880 --> 00:52:11,841 By the way, I do sell drugs between shows. 802 00:52:14,344 --> 00:52:16,721 Is that the police? Oh, God. 803 00:52:16,721 --> 00:52:18,098 - Outside. - Having some jive. 804 00:52:18,098 --> 00:52:19,683 - Are they outside? - Yeah. 805 00:52:19,683 --> 00:52:21,643 If the police come, act natural, all right? 806 00:52:24,187 --> 00:52:26,523 Listen, if the police come, I want everyone to put on a balloon hat 807 00:52:26,523 --> 00:52:28,692 so they won't tell which one is me. 808 00:52:28,692 --> 00:52:31,486 Don't you worry about it. It's my problem. 809 00:52:32,862 --> 00:52:35,740 Okay, let's rip the place apart! 810 00:52:38,118 --> 00:52:40,870 Then the owner said, "Yeah, well, we're doing okay," 811 00:52:40,870 --> 00:52:43,206 he said, "But we don't get many Steve Martins here." 812 00:52:43,206 --> 00:52:45,292 Like I was a big hit. 813 00:52:45,292 --> 00:52:47,919 And I thought, "What are you talking about?" 814 00:52:50,380 --> 00:52:52,883 I was in debt $5,000. 815 00:52:53,717 --> 00:52:56,261 College gigs just did not pay very well, 816 00:52:56,261 --> 00:53:01,057 so I agreed to headline the Playboy Club in San Francisco for a week. 817 00:53:01,057 --> 00:53:05,562 The crowd was much older than I was used to, but I needed the money. 818 00:53:06,187 --> 00:53:11,401 I'm all dressed up because it's a very special kind of restaurant. 819 00:53:13,778 --> 00:53:15,947 And I said to a musician backstage, I said, 820 00:53:15,947 --> 00:53:18,408 "Hey, we got a full house out there." 821 00:53:22,579 --> 00:53:24,664 And he just kind of looked at me, and he went... 822 00:53:29,169 --> 00:53:31,963 "The Bunny introduced me as Steve Miller." 823 00:53:38,053 --> 00:53:39,930 They didn't pay to get in to see me. 824 00:53:40,639 --> 00:53:42,432 I was tangential. 825 00:53:43,975 --> 00:53:45,310 Puppy dog. 826 00:53:49,397 --> 00:53:53,610 I heard a guy say, "I don't understand any of this." 827 00:53:54,319 --> 00:53:57,822 And it was not a moment of pride, you know. 828 00:54:00,325 --> 00:54:03,411 Death. Comedy death. 829 00:54:03,411 --> 00:54:05,830 Which is worse than regular death. 830 00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:18,969 "Where is the old-time show business I dreamed of? 831 00:54:18,969 --> 00:54:20,929 Is this it? 832 00:54:22,514 --> 00:54:25,141 Where's my theme song?" 833 00:54:26,768 --> 00:54:30,146 Comedy is timing. There's no way around it. 834 00:54:30,146 --> 00:54:35,235 If the audience is not allowing you to use your timing, then you're dead. 835 00:54:36,027 --> 00:54:37,737 I have a joke I'd like to tell you-- 836 00:54:40,282 --> 00:54:41,992 "Alternatives: 837 00:54:43,118 --> 00:54:44,869 Quit. 838 00:54:45,579 --> 00:54:47,163 TV. 839 00:54:47,622 --> 00:54:49,457 A likely possibility." 840 00:54:49,457 --> 00:54:51,501 {\an8}I want to go into show business. 841 00:54:52,836 --> 00:54:54,170 I don't believe this. 842 00:54:54,170 --> 00:54:56,631 Hey, would I lie? 843 00:54:58,550 --> 00:54:59,676 So, there I was. 844 00:55:00,594 --> 00:55:04,931 And I had my act that I'd been working on for ten years. 845 00:55:05,974 --> 00:55:08,018 It's like waiting around the corner, you know? 846 00:55:08,018 --> 00:55:10,687 You've got all your bags packed and you're ready to go. 847 00:55:10,687 --> 00:55:12,439 And you're just waiting for the bus to come. 848 00:55:12,439 --> 00:55:15,275 "Here comes my bus and I'm getting on and I've got all my bags with me." 849 00:55:21,615 --> 00:55:24,659 {\an8}Well, you know, if it looks like I'm fooling around up here, 850 00:55:24,659 --> 00:55:27,245 {\an8}I wasn't gonna tell you this, but... 851 00:55:27,245 --> 00:55:31,041 I'm quitting show business tonight. Thank you. 852 00:55:32,167 --> 00:55:35,045 And this is my final performance in the business. 853 00:55:35,045 --> 00:55:39,090 So, I'm just kind of doing anything I ever wanted to do, you know, 854 00:55:39,090 --> 00:55:41,551 and it doesn't matter if I go over, you know, 855 00:55:41,551 --> 00:55:43,220 or if everybody hates me, you know, 856 00:55:43,220 --> 00:55:44,930 or if there's reviewers out there going, 857 00:55:44,930 --> 00:55:48,266 "I didn't think that this was the most wonderful thing..." 858 00:55:49,643 --> 00:55:53,480 So I'm just kind of doing anything I ever wanted to do, so... 859 00:55:58,568 --> 00:56:01,071 I was really stupid. 860 00:56:01,821 --> 00:56:06,576 It took me a while to figure out, this act doesn't work everywhere. 861 00:56:08,912 --> 00:56:12,040 At the Playboy Club, it was just weird. 862 00:56:12,040 --> 00:56:14,125 The Boarding House was very hip 863 00:56:14,125 --> 00:56:17,504 and it became notable because it was weird. 864 00:56:18,463 --> 00:56:20,257 You ever feel like doing something just crazy? 865 00:56:20,257 --> 00:56:24,594 I mean, really, just, like, crazy thing? Let's go murder someone. 866 00:56:26,137 --> 00:56:27,847 See, I think it was generational. 867 00:56:27,847 --> 00:56:31,184 {\an8}There was a generation of pot smoking, crazy people 868 00:56:31,184 --> 00:56:34,854 {\an8}who could bend enough to get what you were talking about. 869 00:56:35,480 --> 00:56:37,566 And they weren't going to the Playboy Club. 870 00:56:38,400 --> 00:56:42,779 Let me shuffle the cards first using the famous cow pasture shuffle. 871 00:56:48,952 --> 00:56:50,745 Now, what's your sign? 872 00:56:50,745 --> 00:56:53,415 Scorpio. Let's see, I'm a feces. So, that'll make... 873 00:56:56,459 --> 00:56:58,753 {\an8}You have to find your audience. 874 00:56:59,379 --> 00:57:00,964 {\an8}And Steve did that. 875 00:57:00,964 --> 00:57:04,426 They were all there for him. There were his fans. 876 00:57:07,596 --> 00:57:10,015 See, I always fill the balloons up with words and if they pop, they go, 877 00:57:10,015 --> 00:57:11,266 "Damn it!" 878 00:57:20,233 --> 00:57:21,735 Puppy dog. 879 00:57:25,196 --> 00:57:28,950 Actually, what this is, it's a... birth control device. 880 00:57:29,951 --> 00:57:31,912 And I'll show you how this works. 881 00:57:32,704 --> 00:57:36,875 See, if you wear this on your head... 882 00:57:37,834 --> 00:57:39,461 ...then no one will talk to you. 883 00:57:44,090 --> 00:57:46,218 I'd like to get serious just for a moment. 884 00:57:50,722 --> 00:57:54,768 There was a presence there on stage of someone quite special 885 00:57:54,768 --> 00:57:57,187 that you just wanted to see. 886 00:57:58,063 --> 00:57:59,481 So, I guess I'll say goodnight now. 887 00:57:59,481 --> 00:58:03,109 And, you know, ordinarily, I just walk off the stage 888 00:58:03,109 --> 00:58:05,362 and go back to the dressing room, you know, but... 889 00:58:06,363 --> 00:58:07,781 ...I don't think I'm going to do that tonight. 890 00:58:07,781 --> 00:58:09,241 I think tonight... 891 00:58:10,575 --> 00:58:12,869 ...I'm going to Bananaland. 892 00:58:15,622 --> 00:58:17,958 And it's so beautiful in Bananaland tonight. 893 00:58:17,958 --> 00:58:19,542 You know, it's just... 894 00:58:20,252 --> 00:58:24,256 The little men are in their banana-skin coats and banana-shoes, 895 00:58:25,090 --> 00:58:27,300 and they have the little banana-mobile. 896 00:58:28,843 --> 00:58:31,846 And it's so wonderful in Bananaland because... 897 00:58:32,847 --> 00:58:35,976 ...in Bananaland, only two things are true. 898 00:58:37,018 --> 00:58:41,106 One, all chairs are green. 899 00:58:42,732 --> 00:58:47,237 And two, no chairs are green. 900 00:58:50,448 --> 00:58:52,576 That's where I'm going. 901 00:58:53,952 --> 00:58:58,623 {\an8}The end of the '60s lasted until about 1975. 902 00:58:58,623 --> 00:59:01,668 It was a very dark period 903 00:59:01,668 --> 00:59:07,007 to have this clean guy in a white suit come out and take you away. 904 00:59:07,007 --> 00:59:11,136 If you bought into it, you'd go for a fun ride. 905 00:59:39,497 --> 00:59:44,419 But remember, the Boarding House seated 300 people, so it wasn't a breakout. 906 00:59:44,419 --> 00:59:48,715 But if you have a packed house that feels like something's happening. 907 00:59:56,514 --> 00:59:57,933 I think we should all be one. 908 00:59:57,933 --> 01:00:01,144 That's why I'm just going to step down among the people. 909 01:00:02,312 --> 01:00:03,688 Don't touch me. 910 01:00:05,440 --> 01:00:11,404 And when that corner turned, I felt great, you know? 911 01:00:23,500 --> 01:00:27,212 That was actually the first time I was ready for anything. 912 01:00:28,380 --> 01:00:31,091 The act was starting to click. 913 01:00:58,535 --> 01:01:01,121 Oh, the shark bites 914 01:01:01,121 --> 01:01:03,873 With it's teeth, dear 915 01:01:03,873 --> 01:01:07,919 And it keeps them pearly white 916 01:01:09,379 --> 01:01:11,965 Oh, the shark bites 917 01:01:11,965 --> 01:01:14,718 With its teeth, dear 918 01:01:14,718 --> 01:01:18,722 And it keeps them pearly white 919 01:01:20,015 --> 01:01:22,517 Oh, the shark bites 920 01:01:22,517 --> 01:01:25,186 With it's teeth, dear 921 01:01:25,186 --> 01:01:26,813 And it keeps them... 922 01:01:26,813 --> 01:01:30,942 Here's one of the funniest guys I've ever met in my entire life, Mr. Steve Martin. 923 01:01:30,942 --> 01:01:33,069 - Steve Martin. - Oh, wow. 924 01:01:33,069 --> 01:01:34,738 He's back tonight to do something else, 925 01:01:34,738 --> 01:01:36,740 and I don't have the slightest idea what it is. 926 01:01:36,740 --> 01:01:38,992 Well, it's great to be back here, and... 927 01:01:38,992 --> 01:01:43,079 I know that sounds corny, because every entertainer who comes on goes, 928 01:01:43,079 --> 01:01:45,332 "Hey, it's really great to be here." 929 01:01:45,332 --> 01:01:48,084 And it really sounds phony, but believe me, I'm sincere when I say, 930 01:01:48,084 --> 01:01:50,086 "Hey, it's really great to be here." 931 01:01:50,086 --> 01:01:52,214 - Cher, it's really great to be here. - Thank you. 932 01:01:52,214 --> 01:01:54,799 Well, actually, excuse me, it's great to be here. I'm sorry. 933 01:01:54,799 --> 01:01:58,053 Okay... well, actually, it's really great to be here. 934 01:01:58,053 --> 01:01:59,512 This is where it's great to be. I'm sorry. 935 01:01:59,512 --> 01:02:01,014 I think Steve is so far out. 936 01:02:01,014 --> 01:02:05,602 I mean, he always does these weird, crazy, unimaginable things. 937 01:02:05,602 --> 01:02:08,313 - Hey, hold it a second. Wait a second. - What are you going to do--? 938 01:02:08,313 --> 01:02:11,566 Telling these people I do weird and crazy things, John. 939 01:02:12,400 --> 01:02:14,819 Great to be here. Wow. 940 01:02:14,819 --> 01:02:17,072 Oh, boy, I remember when it was great to be there, 941 01:02:17,072 --> 01:02:19,407 but it is great to be here. 942 01:02:19,407 --> 01:02:24,204 And it keeps them pearly white 943 01:02:24,204 --> 01:02:26,831 I was always fascinated by arrogance. 944 01:02:26,831 --> 01:02:29,251 I have a favor I'd like to ask you. Would you take my picture? 945 01:02:29,251 --> 01:02:31,711 Let me get in kind of a casual thing, like a... 946 01:02:32,671 --> 01:02:34,089 Like a... 947 01:02:36,550 --> 01:02:39,135 And I started to create a character for me. 948 01:02:39,135 --> 01:02:41,972 These cameras are so fantastic, like an idiot can really work this kind of... 949 01:02:42,931 --> 01:02:46,226 A kind of overly confident idiot. 950 01:02:46,893 --> 01:02:51,773 I started to realize what I was doing was a parody of show business. 951 01:02:52,482 --> 01:02:58,154 {\an8}His act was not comedy. It was about the absurdity of performing 952 01:02:58,154 --> 01:03:03,451 and the ridiculousness of people standing up in front of other people being funny. 953 01:03:03,451 --> 01:03:04,911 Do I look stupid? 954 01:03:06,830 --> 01:03:08,665 {\an8}It was aggressively stupid. 955 01:03:08,665 --> 01:03:11,293 Have I degraded myself? 956 01:03:12,377 --> 01:03:15,922 And aggressive stupidity, you can't ignore it. 957 01:03:16,631 --> 01:03:19,342 I've been stuck on this escalator for 40 minutes. 958 01:03:20,135 --> 01:03:23,555 When you insist on something that is wrong. 959 01:03:24,097 --> 01:03:24,973 Help! 960 01:03:24,973 --> 01:03:31,187 What it was, was here is an asshole who is going to act like one. 961 01:03:31,187 --> 01:03:34,524 But he wants you to know that he knows that. 962 01:03:34,524 --> 01:03:36,860 That we're both gonna laugh at the same asshole. 963 01:03:37,819 --> 01:03:39,988 Hey, I don't do a Vegas act. 964 01:03:39,988 --> 01:03:43,199 See in Vegas, you know, it costs like $15 to get in. 965 01:03:43,199 --> 01:03:45,035 You go and you pay the money and you sit down 966 01:03:45,035 --> 01:03:47,412 and the opening act usually like a singer, you know. 967 01:03:47,412 --> 01:03:50,540 And he's really great, really keeps it moving really fa-- 968 01:03:50,540 --> 01:03:52,792 You can't understand a word he says, but it doesn't matter 969 01:03:52,792 --> 01:03:54,127 because he's so entertaining. 970 01:03:54,127 --> 01:03:55,712 Hey, good evening, ladies and gentlemen... 971 01:04:04,054 --> 01:04:06,181 Curtain up, light the light 972 01:04:06,181 --> 01:04:08,600 Okay, and I'd now like to introduce the band. 973 01:04:11,269 --> 01:04:12,896 Frank's an old personal friend of mine. Okay. 974 01:04:12,896 --> 01:04:15,148 Sammy Davis Jr., personal friend of mine. Okay! 975 01:04:16,608 --> 01:04:18,818 Oh, hey, great to be... here. 976 01:04:21,655 --> 01:04:23,949 Oh, the shark bites... 977 01:04:23,949 --> 01:04:27,077 Steve Martin, I'm a personal friend of mine too, okay. 978 01:04:27,577 --> 01:04:28,912 It's great to be here! 979 01:04:32,165 --> 01:04:34,960 And now, it's time for a little dance. And here we go! 980 01:04:45,011 --> 01:04:49,140 Sammy came over. But there was an instant endorsement. 981 01:04:49,140 --> 01:04:50,600 Yeah, I didn't know what I was supposed to do 982 01:04:50,600 --> 01:04:53,353 because, you know, we never hugged at home. 983 01:04:54,312 --> 01:04:56,231 Am I supposed to hug? I don't know. 984 01:04:56,231 --> 01:04:58,024 That's five or six minutes of the funniest things 985 01:04:58,024 --> 01:04:59,150 I've ever seen here for a long time. 986 01:04:59,150 --> 01:05:01,903 Really. That's super. That's really funny. 987 01:05:03,780 --> 01:05:10,328 I felt that I alone was carrying the banner for the new comedy and then... 988 01:05:15,750 --> 01:05:18,587 Live from New York, it's Saturday night! 989 01:05:18,587 --> 01:05:23,383 I saw Saturday Night Live and I thought, "Oh. Oh, no." 990 01:05:23,383 --> 01:05:25,677 - I would like... - I would like... 991 01:05:25,677 --> 01:05:28,388 to feed your fingertips... 992 01:05:28,388 --> 01:05:30,807 to the wolverines. 993 01:05:32,601 --> 01:05:34,394 There's somebody else doing it. 994 01:05:35,562 --> 01:05:38,940 {\an8}I was aware of him when he was writing on Smothers Brothers 995 01:05:38,940 --> 01:05:40,817 {\an8}and I was writing on Laugh-In. 996 01:05:40,817 --> 01:05:43,612 I think there was a touch football game between the two. 997 01:05:45,697 --> 01:05:50,035 Later, Lily Tomlin and I saw him in LA somewhere, I think. 998 01:05:50,493 --> 01:05:52,287 Hey, man, wanna smoke some shit? 999 01:05:52,287 --> 01:05:54,664 No, I don't want any marijuana. 1000 01:05:54,664 --> 01:05:56,750 Marijuana? This is shit. 1001 01:05:59,336 --> 01:06:01,087 I was real naive in those days, too, you know. 1002 01:06:01,087 --> 01:06:03,465 People would come and say, "Hey, you wanna snort? 1003 01:06:03,465 --> 01:06:04,966 And I go, "Sure." 1004 01:06:09,512 --> 01:06:11,932 I thought, "I'm really missing something here." 1005 01:06:12,474 --> 01:06:14,893 We were doing deeply political satire. 1006 01:06:15,602 --> 01:06:18,355 And... Steve wasn't. 1007 01:06:19,105 --> 01:06:22,275 You know, the show was so hot, you know. 1008 01:06:22,275 --> 01:06:24,110 They were on a roll. 1009 01:06:24,110 --> 01:06:27,072 And I had this little bit of drawing power, 1010 01:06:27,072 --> 01:06:29,199 but I was still underground. 1011 01:06:29,783 --> 01:06:31,576 I wanted people I knew could do the show 1012 01:06:31,576 --> 01:06:33,828 and so, Steve was a risk. 1013 01:06:36,873 --> 01:06:40,126 Ladies and gentlemen, Steve Martin! 1014 01:06:40,126 --> 01:06:42,170 For me, risk is oxygen. 1015 01:06:42,170 --> 01:06:46,007 If you're not on the edge, how are you expected to feel alive? 1016 01:06:49,678 --> 01:06:54,266 I can only think a few times in my life before I was about to go on 1017 01:06:54,266 --> 01:06:56,768 where I would think, "Wait'll they see this." 1018 01:06:58,019 --> 01:07:01,022 Most of the time it was, "I hope this goes well." 1019 01:07:01,523 --> 01:07:03,942 Boy, I'll never forget how great it was to be over there. 1020 01:07:04,484 --> 01:07:06,069 Okay, we're moving now. 1021 01:07:07,779 --> 01:07:08,905 Excuse me. 1022 01:07:11,741 --> 01:07:12,867 All right. 1023 01:07:16,454 --> 01:07:18,790 Are we on? We are. Okay, okay, okay, okay. 1024 01:07:18,790 --> 01:07:22,878 To... open the show, I always like to do one thing that is impossible. 1025 01:07:22,878 --> 01:07:26,506 So right now I'm going to suck this stool into my lungs. 1026 01:07:30,176 --> 01:07:31,636 Oh, darn. Okay. 1027 01:07:34,097 --> 01:07:36,725 Well, here's something you don't often see. 1028 01:07:38,602 --> 01:07:42,522 Introducing Fido-flex, the digital watchdog. 1029 01:07:42,522 --> 01:07:47,193 And now, it's time to play Jeopardy 1999. 1030 01:07:47,193 --> 01:07:51,489 Zoom! Zoom! Zoom! 1031 01:07:52,741 --> 01:07:54,284 No, I gotta... 1032 01:07:54,910 --> 01:07:55,952 Zoom! 1033 01:07:56,369 --> 01:08:00,373 I remember thinking, "Wow, other people." 1034 01:08:01,750 --> 01:08:03,001 What's your favorite landmass? 1035 01:08:03,001 --> 01:08:05,921 The Dalmatian Islands, just off the coast of Yugoslavia. 1036 01:08:05,921 --> 01:08:08,632 The southern one? A little further inland? 1037 01:08:08,632 --> 01:08:12,344 Just above the thirtieth parallel! 1038 01:08:12,844 --> 01:08:15,597 I'd worked alone for 15 years. 1039 01:08:15,597 --> 01:08:18,933 And now you're in a sketch and you're looking in someone's eyes, 1040 01:08:18,933 --> 01:08:21,978 and they have a gleam in their eye and you have a gleam in your eye. 1041 01:08:22,687 --> 01:08:23,897 It's really a good feeling. 1042 01:08:25,732 --> 01:08:27,567 The banjo's such a happy instrument. It really is. 1043 01:08:27,567 --> 01:08:31,862 It's a good thing for a comedian like me, and just a happy thing. 1044 01:08:31,862 --> 01:08:32,947 You can go, 1045 01:08:32,947 --> 01:08:37,035 Oh, murder and death And grief and sorrow 1046 01:08:39,913 --> 01:08:43,833 Okay, I want to do this last banjo tune and we'll move on with the show. 1047 01:08:43,833 --> 01:08:47,462 Can I get, like, a tight shot? Maybe on the fingers on this, okay? 1048 01:08:47,462 --> 01:08:49,548 Dave? Dave Wilson, the director. 1049 01:08:50,382 --> 01:08:53,176 I'd like to start off with a tight shot. Okay? 1050 01:08:55,804 --> 01:08:58,932 I did this thing in dress, I thought we had it worked out, I'm sorry. 1051 01:08:58,932 --> 01:09:01,768 Excuse me. Okay, I'll do something else then. 1052 01:09:01,768 --> 01:09:04,145 I can go with it. All right, you know what I'm saying? 1053 01:09:05,188 --> 01:09:06,815 It's just... 1054 01:09:07,524 --> 01:09:09,067 You know, you ask for something, you think you're gonna get it, 1055 01:09:09,067 --> 01:09:11,570 throws you off when you're a performer, a professional, like I am. 1056 01:09:11,570 --> 01:09:15,031 And... I'm sorry if I look a little angry, but I guess I am. 1057 01:09:15,031 --> 01:09:17,826 Because, you know, it hurts you. You know what I'm saying? 1058 01:09:17,826 --> 01:09:22,746 It hurts the people who are watching the show when, me, the artist, 1059 01:09:22,746 --> 01:09:25,750 comes out here and I can't get what? A little cooperation. Know what I mean? 1060 01:09:25,750 --> 01:09:29,337 I mean, I can't get a little help from the backstage crew? 1061 01:09:30,130 --> 01:09:33,884 Excuse me. 1062 01:09:38,138 --> 01:09:40,389 I'm sorry, I'm angry. 1063 01:09:43,852 --> 01:09:45,395 I'm sorry. 1064 01:09:45,395 --> 01:09:47,438 We'll be back after this commercial. 1065 01:09:53,152 --> 01:09:55,906 And I had a show the next day, on a Monday. 1066 01:09:55,906 --> 01:09:57,991 - Fifteen, Steve. Fifteen minutes. - Thank you. 1067 01:09:59,409 --> 01:10:01,578 I said, "How many people are out there?" 1068 01:10:01,578 --> 01:10:04,831 And he said, "7,000." 1069 01:10:05,665 --> 01:10:06,917 I'm like, "What?" 1070 01:10:15,967 --> 01:10:20,055 And there was this impact like a wave. 1071 01:10:30,357 --> 01:10:31,816 "Something's changed." 1072 01:10:33,401 --> 01:10:34,444 Thank you. Keep it. 1073 01:10:37,322 --> 01:10:38,281 Telephoto lens. 1074 01:10:38,865 --> 01:10:39,908 Double scotch. 1075 01:10:39,908 --> 01:10:40,992 Do you recognize him? 1076 01:10:40,992 --> 01:10:42,619 He's hosted the Tonight Show a couple of times. 1077 01:10:44,162 --> 01:10:46,456 Is Steve Martin here? I wanna seduce him. 1078 01:10:47,832 --> 01:10:49,834 {\an8}In the mid-'70s, he came out 1079 01:10:49,834 --> 01:10:53,296 {\an8}and it just felt like a flash bulb of energy. 1080 01:11:00,595 --> 01:11:02,806 This is just gonna be pure fun. 1081 01:11:08,520 --> 01:11:09,479 I'm a rambling guy. 1082 01:11:09,479 --> 01:11:11,523 Way to go, Steve! That's good stuff. 1083 01:11:12,399 --> 01:11:13,733 One of the most refreshing comedians 1084 01:11:13,733 --> 01:11:16,403 to come along in a long time is Steve Martin. 1085 01:11:16,403 --> 01:11:18,238 As you know, he advertises himself 1086 01:11:18,238 --> 01:11:21,199 as a wild and crazy guy when he's on stage. 1087 01:11:21,825 --> 01:11:24,452 The first time we did the Czech brothers, it played okay. 1088 01:11:24,452 --> 01:11:27,372 We are two wild and crazy guys. 1089 01:11:28,748 --> 01:11:30,375 And we kind of forgot about it. 1090 01:11:31,793 --> 01:11:35,672 And then the next time I hosted, Danny said, "Let's do another one." 1091 01:11:35,672 --> 01:11:38,633 And suddenly the sketch started and there was this... 1092 01:11:45,932 --> 01:11:48,435 {\an8}We would go up to see his show. 1093 01:11:48,435 --> 01:11:53,148 {\an8}We got to the theater and people were lined up around the building. 1094 01:11:53,148 --> 01:11:56,109 I didn't think he was opening for somebody, 1095 01:11:56,109 --> 01:11:59,654 and then I started seeing rabbit ears and thought, 1096 01:11:59,654 --> 01:12:02,824 "Oh my gosh, it was all for him." 1097 01:12:03,909 --> 01:12:06,202 It's kind of fun for me to see the people in the audience 1098 01:12:06,202 --> 01:12:09,372 with the amateur model arrow through the head. 1099 01:12:13,418 --> 01:12:15,420 This, of course, is the professional model. 1100 01:12:16,922 --> 01:12:19,132 Made in Germany, cost 150 dollars. 1101 01:12:19,132 --> 01:12:22,135 But... that's okay for me! 1102 01:12:26,389 --> 01:12:30,310 Because I am a wild and crazy guy. 1103 01:12:42,030 --> 01:12:44,574 This must be, obviously, very exciting for you now. 1104 01:12:44,574 --> 01:12:47,202 Really, 'cause Steve gets standing ovations as a comedian. 1105 01:12:47,202 --> 01:12:49,704 - That very seldom happens. - Yeah, it's been a... 1106 01:12:50,747 --> 01:12:53,250 In the last six months it's been explosive. 1107 01:12:53,250 --> 01:12:56,044 - Yeah. - Which, you know, I'm thankful for 1108 01:12:56,044 --> 01:12:59,798 - and puzzled by, but am very happy about. - Yeah. 1109 01:13:00,423 --> 01:13:02,342 We're having some fun now, hey! 1110 01:13:02,342 --> 01:13:05,554 The biggest shift was, so I'm playing these places 1111 01:13:05,554 --> 01:13:10,308 and I was still doing the bit where I would take audiences outside. 1112 01:13:11,184 --> 01:13:13,520 And I realized they're standing in traffic, 1113 01:13:13,520 --> 01:13:16,231 they're standing on cars, and I said, "Well, that bit's over." 1114 01:13:16,231 --> 01:13:18,692 Becoming too dangerous, literally. 1115 01:13:20,151 --> 01:13:23,989 I mentioned it earlier in the show as the drug joke. 1116 01:13:23,989 --> 01:13:25,699 And I hate to do that because... 1117 01:13:25,699 --> 01:13:27,993 it creates myths and I'm not into drugs anymore. 1118 01:13:27,993 --> 01:13:33,707 I quit completely and I hate people who are still into it so... 1119 01:13:33,707 --> 01:13:37,085 Well, I do take one drug now for fun, and maybe you've heard of it. 1120 01:13:37,085 --> 01:13:38,920 It's a new thing. I don't know if you have or not. 1121 01:13:38,920 --> 01:13:41,882 It's a new thing... makes you small. 1122 01:13:43,300 --> 01:13:44,593 About this big. 1123 01:13:47,137 --> 01:13:49,014 And you might as well plug your album while you're here. 1124 01:13:49,014 --> 01:13:51,558 Are they prepared comedy gags? 1125 01:13:51,558 --> 01:13:54,144 No, it's completely spontaneous. Every album is different. 1126 01:13:54,144 --> 01:13:57,105 I'll be darned. How many did they release? Millions? 1127 01:13:57,105 --> 01:13:58,899 Yeah. I've recorded a million of them. 1128 01:13:58,899 --> 01:14:00,859 And they're all completely different. 1129 01:14:07,324 --> 01:14:09,451 Steve Martin. Let's Get Small. 1130 01:14:09,451 --> 01:14:11,494 These represent funny comedy gags. 1131 01:14:11,494 --> 01:14:13,496 You can play this on your record player at home. 1132 01:14:13,496 --> 01:14:14,414 That's it. 1133 01:14:14,414 --> 01:14:17,292 And, you know, I'll be home, sitting with my friends, and... 1134 01:14:17,292 --> 01:14:20,253 we'll be sitting around and somebody will say, 1135 01:14:20,253 --> 01:14:21,463 "Hey... 1136 01:14:23,506 --> 01:14:25,008 Let's get small." 1137 01:14:30,805 --> 01:14:34,976 {\an8}My brother recorded all his albums before Saturday Night Live, 1138 01:14:34,976 --> 01:14:38,480 {\an8}before Tonight Show, and they sat around for two years. 1139 01:14:42,234 --> 01:14:44,361 Now, I know I shouldn't get small when I'm driving. 1140 01:14:46,404 --> 01:14:48,949 But I was driving around the other day, and I said, "What the heck," you know. 1141 01:14:48,949 --> 01:14:50,492 So I'm driving, going... 1142 01:15:00,335 --> 01:15:05,423 I hold in my hand the first platinum comedy album in history. 1143 01:15:05,423 --> 01:15:09,511 Platinum means you have to sell a million albums. 1144 01:15:11,221 --> 01:15:13,473 It's an honor to know that you sold a million albums, 1145 01:15:13,473 --> 01:15:15,475 but it's also kind of weird to know that there are 1146 01:15:15,475 --> 01:15:18,478 a million lunatics out in the country. 1147 01:15:19,437 --> 01:15:20,897 There are a great deal more than a million. 1148 01:15:20,897 --> 01:15:23,316 They're just slowly finding you out. 1149 01:15:23,984 --> 01:15:24,818 Well... 1150 01:15:24,818 --> 01:15:26,486 Steve never thought he'd get a record deal. 1151 01:15:27,988 --> 01:15:30,115 And he ended up selling nine million albums. 1152 01:15:34,035 --> 01:15:35,328 And what would be your day like though? 1153 01:15:35,328 --> 01:15:37,872 For example, today, what you did the Good Morning, America show. 1154 01:15:37,872 --> 01:15:39,916 - I did Good Morning, America. - Did this show. 1155 01:15:39,916 --> 01:15:42,335 Then we fly to Washington, DC. 1156 01:15:42,335 --> 01:15:45,088 Two shows at Kennedy Performing Arts. 1157 01:15:46,256 --> 01:15:48,717 When I played Kennedy Center, I asked the promoter, 1158 01:15:48,717 --> 01:15:50,594 "I'm just curious, how much am I making?" 1159 01:15:51,595 --> 01:15:53,763 And he said, "25,000." 1160 01:15:53,763 --> 01:15:56,141 And I said, "Wow, that's great." 1161 01:15:56,141 --> 01:15:58,768 And he said, "And the second show is better." 1162 01:15:58,768 --> 01:16:01,563 And then we come back here and then we go to... 1163 01:16:01,563 --> 01:16:03,315 I think, Boston the next day, 1164 01:16:03,315 --> 01:16:06,401 and we're doing 50 cities in 60 days. 1165 01:16:10,906 --> 01:16:12,365 How many people are here? 1166 01:16:12,365 --> 01:16:16,077 Two, four, six, seven, 1167 01:16:16,077 --> 01:16:19,289 eight, ten, 11, 12, 13, 1168 01:16:19,289 --> 01:16:22,125 plus 16, 17. 1169 01:16:22,125 --> 01:16:24,377 There's the guy at the bar. That's 18. 1170 01:16:24,377 --> 01:16:26,254 So I do just-- Should I do more time, or...? 1171 01:16:26,254 --> 01:16:29,716 No, probably shouldn't do more time, that's just ridiculous. 1172 01:16:34,471 --> 01:16:38,475 Steve Martin would sell out before the ads could finish running. 1173 01:16:40,060 --> 01:16:42,187 And then we would go in restaurants 1174 01:16:42,187 --> 01:16:45,815 and we could overhear people talking and using his tag lines. 1175 01:16:48,944 --> 01:16:52,572 {\an8}I think they were just really happy to be part of something. 1176 01:16:53,990 --> 01:16:56,201 It was a cultural phenomenon. 1177 01:17:01,164 --> 01:17:04,000 Oh, no, I'm getting happy feet! 1178 01:17:08,296 --> 01:17:11,716 And we didn't use any video projection or anything. 1179 01:17:11,716 --> 01:17:15,428 And 20,000 people away. They were getting it. 1180 01:17:18,139 --> 01:17:20,433 And I think what happened is, 1181 01:17:20,433 --> 01:17:26,147 material became secondary to the nature of the act. 1182 01:17:26,147 --> 01:17:30,026 It's where you're performing right down to your fingertips. 1183 01:17:32,279 --> 01:17:34,281 Where every movement counts. 1184 01:17:35,490 --> 01:17:38,868 Where there's nothing extraneous. 1185 01:17:40,787 --> 01:17:43,248 You're conducting the audience. 1186 01:17:43,999 --> 01:17:45,667 Okay. I'd like to-- 1187 01:17:52,132 --> 01:17:55,594 He made 60 sell-out concert appearances in 1977. 1188 01:17:55,594 --> 01:17:58,555 Last month, he gave a one-man concert here in Southern California 1189 01:17:58,555 --> 01:18:01,725 before 9,000 fans at the Anaheim Convention Center, 1190 01:18:01,725 --> 01:18:04,936 not too far from where he grew up in the little town of Garden Grove. 1191 01:18:04,936 --> 01:18:07,814 About 17 years ago, I used to stand across the street at Disneyland 1192 01:18:07,814 --> 01:18:11,568 and sell guidebooks for 25 cents. 1193 01:18:11,568 --> 01:18:15,488 And... I think one of the big thrills for me is to be able to... 1194 01:18:16,197 --> 01:18:18,366 ...not to come back in a limousine, 1195 01:18:18,366 --> 01:18:20,327 but to be able to come back and see your old friends 1196 01:18:20,327 --> 01:18:22,579 and kind of be the same thing that you were... 1197 01:18:22,579 --> 01:18:24,414 Hey, Steve, one of your old friends is here. 1198 01:18:24,414 --> 01:18:26,124 Oh, really? Well, get rid of him. 1199 01:18:29,920 --> 01:18:34,007 Once we sat on his... the porch of this house in Aspen. 1200 01:18:34,716 --> 01:18:37,510 {\an8}And he says, "Is this the life? 1201 01:18:37,510 --> 01:18:39,638 {\an8}I mean, we just wrote some great comedy. 1202 01:18:39,638 --> 01:18:44,017 You have a great bottle of wine. It's a beautiful sunset. 1203 01:18:45,518 --> 01:18:47,896 This is... this is the best." 1204 01:18:47,896 --> 01:18:51,691 And I remember saying to myself, "No. It's not the best. 1205 01:18:53,485 --> 01:18:55,278 I want a... I want a girlfriend." 1206 01:18:58,114 --> 01:19:00,575 What about your love life? How is Steve Martin's love life? 1207 01:19:01,785 --> 01:19:03,119 Well... 1208 01:19:04,204 --> 01:19:07,958 Are you married? Are you straight? Are you nuts? 1209 01:19:09,542 --> 01:19:12,254 Think of it this way. Say I get married, 1210 01:19:12,254 --> 01:19:15,507 and I say, "Well, going on the road for three months 1211 01:19:15,507 --> 01:19:17,008 and I'll see you sometime." 1212 01:19:18,969 --> 01:19:22,973 I've never... I don't have a home life. 1213 01:19:24,307 --> 01:19:25,684 Actually, that's a myth about entertainers. 1214 01:19:25,684 --> 01:19:27,936 You always think you meet girls, and you don't. 1215 01:19:27,936 --> 01:19:29,479 Because here I'm in town for nine days, 1216 01:19:29,479 --> 01:19:32,232 and you don't have time to get to know anybody. 1217 01:19:32,232 --> 01:19:33,942 And I'm not into that one-night thing. 1218 01:19:33,942 --> 01:19:36,194 I think a person should get to know someone 1219 01:19:36,194 --> 01:19:38,989 and even be in love with them before you... 1220 01:19:38,989 --> 01:19:40,782 ...use and degrade them. 1221 01:19:45,579 --> 01:19:46,955 Would you mind if I kissed you? 1222 01:19:48,373 --> 01:19:50,166 No, I don't mind. 1223 01:19:51,751 --> 01:19:53,044 Good. 1224 01:19:56,590 --> 01:19:58,550 I'll remember that for the future. 1225 01:20:00,218 --> 01:20:04,014 I also get the sense that you really are quite buttoned-up, 1226 01:20:04,014 --> 01:20:06,099 and nobody's gonna get too close to Steve Martin. 1227 01:20:06,099 --> 01:20:07,976 And yet your persona is, 1228 01:20:07,976 --> 01:20:09,603 "I'm the wild and crazy guy, and I'll do anything. 1229 01:20:09,603 --> 01:20:12,689 I'll take my pants off and run around with the dog in front of me." 1230 01:20:13,773 --> 01:20:14,733 Yeah. 1231 01:20:23,658 --> 01:20:27,954 Well, I say, like, um, if you make it in business, 1232 01:20:27,954 --> 01:20:31,124 you sit behind a big, elegant desk with a view, 1233 01:20:31,124 --> 01:20:34,419 and if you make it in show business, you end up riding an elephant. 1234 01:20:37,255 --> 01:20:39,716 I remember talking to Carl Gottlieb and he said, 1235 01:20:39,716 --> 01:20:45,180 "You know, when a TV actor walks into the room, everybody goes, 1236 01:20:45,180 --> 01:20:48,683 'Hey, how you doing?' They walk. 'Hey... We love you, blah-blah.' 1237 01:20:48,683 --> 01:20:51,686 When a movie actor walks in they go..." 1238 01:20:54,606 --> 01:20:57,234 And I kind of like that. Actually kind of impressed me. 1239 01:20:59,236 --> 01:21:01,863 Oh, Steve, you better pull yourself together. 1240 01:21:01,863 --> 01:21:03,823 You've got a big movie offer. 1241 01:21:04,658 --> 01:21:06,117 I do? 1242 01:21:07,244 --> 01:21:08,995 What's the movie offer? 1243 01:21:10,372 --> 01:21:13,083 From stand-up to movies is just smart. 1244 01:21:14,042 --> 01:21:16,670 If I do the best stand-up show I've ever done, 1245 01:21:16,670 --> 01:21:19,422 the next day it's completely gone. It's over. 1246 01:21:19,422 --> 01:21:21,466 Whoa! "God damn it!" What? 1247 01:21:23,260 --> 01:21:26,680 Plus, I had to fly to Florida. 1248 01:21:26,680 --> 01:21:30,016 But if I do a movie, I can do seven takes, 1249 01:21:30,016 --> 01:21:32,561 get it right, forever, 1250 01:21:32,561 --> 01:21:34,312 and then the movie goes to Florida. 1251 01:21:35,188 --> 01:21:36,898 Excellent choice. 1252 01:21:36,898 --> 01:21:39,150 This is not your first movie. You've been in others. 1253 01:21:39,150 --> 01:21:40,318 I was in Gone with the Wind. 1254 01:21:42,279 --> 01:21:44,030 I did On the Waterfront. 1255 01:21:44,656 --> 01:21:46,241 - Did you? - A Streetcar Named Desire. 1256 01:21:46,700 --> 01:21:48,785 And now, The Jerk. 1257 01:21:49,911 --> 01:21:52,038 It started off as Banana Boulevard. 1258 01:21:52,038 --> 01:21:54,457 About a guy who can't live in the world, 1259 01:21:54,457 --> 01:21:59,462 so he has to become crazy and he crosses over into Bananaland. 1260 01:22:00,547 --> 01:22:02,215 I had 17 versions. 1261 01:22:02,215 --> 01:22:04,926 I mean, it's... They're unproduceable, all right? 1262 01:22:09,806 --> 01:22:13,852 I wrote it, two other really good writers, Carl Gottlieb, who wrote Jaws. 1263 01:22:14,644 --> 01:22:16,062 {\an8}The fish movie. 1264 01:22:16,521 --> 01:22:19,524 {\an8}And Michael Elias, who was a great comedy writer. 1265 01:22:19,524 --> 01:22:22,402 {\an8}I do interviews about my novel. 1266 01:22:22,402 --> 01:22:24,195 {\an8}They all want to talk about The Jerk. 1267 01:22:24,195 --> 01:22:26,114 "What's your favorite part? Which part did you write? 1268 01:22:26,114 --> 01:22:27,866 What was it like to write with Steve Martin?" 1269 01:22:27,866 --> 01:22:29,784 I want to sell my book. 1270 01:22:33,830 --> 01:22:35,749 {\an8}He hates these cans! 1271 01:22:36,917 --> 01:22:39,002 {\an8}Stay away from the cans! 1272 01:22:39,002 --> 01:22:40,879 Could you explain to us what it's about? 1273 01:22:41,838 --> 01:22:44,132 Well, I... When I saw the film completed, 1274 01:22:44,132 --> 01:22:48,345 I honestly did not know what it was about. 1275 01:22:50,096 --> 01:22:51,640 There's cans in there too! 1276 01:22:51,640 --> 01:22:53,391 Then a friend of mine, I said, "How did you like the film?" 1277 01:22:53,391 --> 01:22:58,772 He says, "I loved it. It's about the most naive person who ever lived." 1278 01:23:01,316 --> 01:23:02,609 More cans! 1279 01:23:03,485 --> 01:23:05,278 Die, you bastard! 1280 01:23:09,032 --> 01:23:10,951 Steve Martin, America's hottest young comedian, 1281 01:23:10,951 --> 01:23:13,328 has just taken the big leap onto the big screen, 1282 01:23:13,328 --> 01:23:16,539 making his movie debut in a new picture called The Jerk. 1283 01:23:18,166 --> 01:23:20,669 {\an8}It was a hit from day one. 1284 01:23:24,673 --> 01:23:28,510 You know, Steve was a little nervous, but he didn't let it show. 1285 01:23:28,510 --> 01:23:31,846 First axiom of the business, "Never let 'em see you sweat." 1286 01:23:37,394 --> 01:23:40,981 When I was on stage, I would think, 1287 01:23:40,981 --> 01:23:43,441 "I know what I am right now. I'm a cat." 1288 01:23:43,441 --> 01:23:45,735 Whoa! Give me that, give me that, give me that! 1289 01:23:47,737 --> 01:23:50,073 Or, "I'm R. Crumb." 1290 01:23:51,366 --> 01:23:55,203 I always felt the act is what you want it to be. 1291 01:23:55,203 --> 01:23:56,871 You want it to be smart, you can find that. 1292 01:23:56,871 --> 01:23:58,999 You want it to be stupid, you can find that. 1293 01:23:58,999 --> 01:24:01,418 You want it to be parody, you can find that. 1294 01:24:02,377 --> 01:24:04,379 Boy, those are good seats up there. 1295 01:24:12,888 --> 01:24:16,308 The show has started! 1296 01:24:21,563 --> 01:24:24,149 {\an8}I used to like walking behind him... 1297 01:24:24,900 --> 01:24:27,694 ...and seeing people look at him, people could not believe. 1298 01:24:27,694 --> 01:24:30,530 "Holy shit, it's Steve Martin." 1299 01:24:32,157 --> 01:24:34,451 {\an8}Yeah, you're outdrawing Fleetwood Mac. 1300 01:24:35,327 --> 01:24:37,746 {\an8}You know, I mean, in the same venues. 1301 01:24:39,456 --> 01:24:41,124 {\an8}Because we tend to forget that in the '70s, 1302 01:24:41,124 --> 01:24:45,629 {\an8}Steve was not a successful comedian, he was like a rock star. 1303 01:24:45,629 --> 01:24:48,548 He was the first comedian who could play stadiums. 1304 01:24:48,548 --> 01:24:51,176 It was very odd and strange. 1305 01:24:53,053 --> 01:24:56,014 It's like it was... It's a panicky emotion. 1306 01:24:56,014 --> 01:24:58,725 Because he was alone for much of his life. 1307 01:24:59,684 --> 01:25:04,397 At its biggest, we did three days at the Nassau Coliseum. 1308 01:25:04,397 --> 01:25:06,274 Forty-five thousand. 1309 01:25:08,109 --> 01:25:10,237 I mean, your whole life is number one. 1310 01:25:10,237 --> 01:25:13,949 Well, only way to go now is down. 1311 01:25:19,913 --> 01:25:21,081 Steve! 1312 01:25:21,081 --> 01:25:23,124 Okay, calm down, don't anybody get hurt. 1313 01:25:23,667 --> 01:25:25,418 Could you sign my cigarette? 1314 01:25:29,464 --> 01:25:31,716 The size of the audience was never a problem. 1315 01:25:31,716 --> 01:25:33,426 It was the mania. 1316 01:25:33,426 --> 01:25:37,097 Well, I'm a little disappointed that... more photographers didn't show up. 1317 01:25:39,474 --> 01:25:40,433 There you go. 1318 01:25:40,433 --> 01:25:43,144 I thought I was still doing comedy. 1319 01:25:43,853 --> 01:25:46,565 But really, I was a party host. 1320 01:25:47,482 --> 01:25:51,152 Okay, good. Now let's repeat the non-conformist oath. 1321 01:25:51,152 --> 01:25:56,032 I promise to be different. 1322 01:25:56,032 --> 01:26:00,161 I promise to be unique. 1323 01:26:00,161 --> 01:26:03,248 I promise not to repeat things other people say. 1324 01:26:06,209 --> 01:26:07,210 Good! Okay. 1325 01:26:08,545 --> 01:26:11,756 {\an8}There's this moment, like around '75, '76, 1326 01:26:11,756 --> 01:26:14,759 where I think I'm really funny. 1327 01:26:15,844 --> 01:26:19,848 But by '80, it's not new. 1328 01:26:22,267 --> 01:26:24,936 {\an8}You'll call a disc jockey up and you'll go, 1329 01:26:24,936 --> 01:26:26,479 "Hello." And they'll go... 1330 01:26:28,523 --> 01:26:30,609 You know, every time I go anywhere on an airplane, 1331 01:26:30,609 --> 01:26:34,195 stewardesses are always doing you, I mean, so to speak. 1332 01:26:37,032 --> 01:26:39,784 You know what I mean? They always say wild and crazy guy, 1333 01:26:39,784 --> 01:26:41,912 and then they always go, "Excuse me." 1334 01:26:41,912 --> 01:26:44,039 Isn't it funny when they do that? 1335 01:26:47,876 --> 01:26:50,503 Will the real Steve Martin step forward? 1336 01:26:50,503 --> 01:26:52,464 {\an8}Well, he wasn't anywhere in sight, 1337 01:26:52,464 --> 01:26:55,800 {\an8}but more than 100 aspiring Steve Martins were. 1338 01:26:55,800 --> 01:26:59,763 But that's okay for me 'cause I am a wild and crazy guy. 1339 01:27:00,889 --> 01:27:04,059 There. Okay. Having some fun now, hey, kids? 1340 01:27:05,268 --> 01:27:07,646 Well, excuse me! 1341 01:27:07,646 --> 01:27:12,317 Excuse me! 1342 01:27:12,317 --> 01:27:14,611 - Excuse moi! - Excuse... 1343 01:27:14,611 --> 01:27:17,113 Excuse me! 1344 01:27:17,113 --> 01:27:18,990 I'm gonna rip his face off, I swear to God! 1345 01:27:22,535 --> 01:27:24,704 - Let me ask you a serious question now. - Okay. 1346 01:27:25,622 --> 01:27:27,499 - You've got your serious attitude, now. - Yeah. 1347 01:27:27,499 --> 01:27:29,334 You made a lot of money. Are you any happier now 1348 01:27:29,334 --> 01:27:31,378 with the money you've made than you were, say, five years ago 1349 01:27:31,378 --> 01:27:33,088 when you were scrambling around? 1350 01:27:34,172 --> 01:27:36,716 - Generally, relatively. - Money does not buy happiness. 1351 01:27:41,429 --> 01:27:44,891 I know what you're saying. You don't even want to say it seriously. 1352 01:27:44,891 --> 01:27:46,309 No, I mean that seriously. 1353 01:27:46,309 --> 01:27:48,520 - I meant that it doesn't buy happiness. - Yeah. 1354 01:27:48,520 --> 01:27:52,357 You still have to have your personal problems. 1355 01:27:52,357 --> 01:27:54,943 - Right. Do you have-- - You can't buy your way out of... 1356 01:27:54,943 --> 01:27:58,572 Do you have personal problems? Find anything... we can talk about? 1357 01:27:58,572 --> 01:28:01,950 I... since we started this spot, I have wet my pants. 1358 01:28:01,950 --> 01:28:03,159 Right here? 1359 01:28:05,412 --> 01:28:06,621 That's all right, we'll... 1360 01:28:08,707 --> 01:28:12,210 {\an8}I was in the dressing room once and his father was up there. 1361 01:28:13,044 --> 01:28:17,382 {\an8}Steve walks in after a perfect hour and five minutes, 1362 01:28:17,382 --> 01:28:20,802 and his father goes, "You know what was wrong with that show?" 1363 01:28:22,429 --> 01:28:24,222 Anyway, I sneaked out. 1364 01:28:24,848 --> 01:28:27,350 'Cause there was nothing wrong with the show. 1365 01:28:28,518 --> 01:28:30,437 Say I want to do something kind of special. 1366 01:28:30,437 --> 01:28:34,524 My parents are in the audience tonight and... I'd like to introduce them. 1367 01:28:34,524 --> 01:28:37,652 They've been my parents all my life. And... 1368 01:28:41,323 --> 01:28:45,535 Well, the family was not a... a goal for me. 1369 01:28:45,535 --> 01:28:50,498 I wasn't shown... that it was something fantastic. 1370 01:28:51,583 --> 01:28:53,919 And... 1371 01:28:54,586 --> 01:28:58,632 Not sure if I'm phrasing it correctly, because it's such a... 1372 01:28:59,674 --> 01:29:03,011 a common thing for most people, and it just wasn't for me. 1373 01:29:10,268 --> 01:29:12,395 I can't hold this smile much longer. 1374 01:29:33,041 --> 01:29:37,754 It's-- On one hand, you feel this exceeding love coming at you. 1375 01:29:40,173 --> 01:29:43,009 But it's not what you expected it to feel like. 1376 01:29:44,052 --> 01:29:46,096 Creates anxiety. 1377 01:29:47,389 --> 01:29:51,101 {\an8}I said to Steve once, "Don't you get a high when the show's over?" 1378 01:29:52,060 --> 01:29:55,188 And he kind of looked at me like, "Not really, no." 1379 01:29:55,188 --> 01:29:58,483 I thought, "Wow, that is so unusual for a performer." 1380 01:30:02,320 --> 01:30:05,365 I was very, very isolated and very lonely. 1381 01:30:06,575 --> 01:30:09,744 You... literally can't go outside. 1382 01:30:11,413 --> 01:30:15,208 It's very hard to find alone time, except when you're deeply alone. 1383 01:30:15,208 --> 01:30:17,377 You know. 1384 01:30:17,377 --> 01:30:20,213 Your own silence is not there for you. 1385 01:30:22,841 --> 01:30:24,926 You want people to like you. 1386 01:30:25,468 --> 01:30:27,846 But it's something that leaves you kind of cold. 1387 01:30:29,848 --> 01:30:34,227 It's easy to come to the conclusion you're doing it for all the wrong reasons. 1388 01:30:43,403 --> 01:30:47,198 You know, in Vegas you could see the back booths are lit. 1389 01:30:48,283 --> 01:30:49,534 And I saw an empty one. 1390 01:30:50,493 --> 01:30:53,413 Now, later, a comedian friend said, 1391 01:30:53,413 --> 01:30:55,707 "Maybe somebody just didn't show up." 1392 01:30:56,917 --> 01:31:02,214 But it played into a sadness I was going under. 1393 01:31:04,591 --> 01:31:07,594 And I just didn't want to see that it. I didn't want to go downhill. 1394 01:31:08,929 --> 01:31:12,182 And I don't need any of this! I don't need this stuff! 1395 01:31:13,183 --> 01:31:15,894 I don't need you. I don't need anything. 1396 01:31:16,645 --> 01:31:19,856 The act, essentially, was conceptual, 1397 01:31:19,856 --> 01:31:22,692 and once the concept was understood, 1398 01:31:22,692 --> 01:31:24,778 there was nothing more to develop. 1399 01:31:25,779 --> 01:31:28,281 I sort of created my own dead end. 1400 01:31:30,617 --> 01:31:33,995 I felt that I was on a speeding train called stand-up comedy. 1401 01:31:33,995 --> 01:31:37,332 Coming in the other direction was a speeding train called movies. 1402 01:31:38,208 --> 01:31:43,505 My job was to get off the stand-up train and throw myself onto the movie train. 1403 01:31:44,422 --> 01:31:46,967 And I thought, "I get to start over. 1404 01:31:47,968 --> 01:31:50,262 I can be an actual new person." 1405 01:32:29,718 --> 01:32:31,011 An act is built. 1406 01:32:31,011 --> 01:32:36,725 I mean, I did my act for literally 15 years before it clicked. 1407 01:32:38,768 --> 01:32:40,437 Why didn't you quit before that? 1408 01:32:41,938 --> 01:32:43,481 Too stupid. 1409 01:32:52,490 --> 01:32:54,117 Well, no. 1410 01:32:54,117 --> 01:32:56,286 Unfortunately, the story goes on.