[♪]
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[strange music]
[electronic music]
Hey, congratulations on filling out your start paperwork
and joining NEFARICORP.
Today, you'll begin your training
as a replicant technician.
You might be worried that you're not educated enough,
but I assure you it's not gonna be a problem.
Just look around the room,
and I bet you'll feel a lot better.
Just about any job can be filled with replicants
except replicant technicians actually.
We tried it, but having clones make clones, it got weird.
So how do we do it?
Well, every replicant is made from a slurry of DNA
we call the sauce.
[announcer] Do not contaminate the sauce!
We pump sauce into a replication pod,
which turns it into a fully formed adult body in minutes.
How does it work? It's not your job, so don't worry about it, all right.
Your main responsibility is to get the sauce into the pod.
[announcer] The sauce is pure.
Do not contaminate the sauce.
Seriously, do not screw up the sauce thing, all right?
It makes defective replicants,
and we dock your pay for those.
Okay, you can come on out now.
Hi, there.
-Ready to work? -Oh.
[chuckles] You told me they'd be defective,
but that-- that-- that-- that's like-- that's haunting.
Let's get rid of you.
Oh, hey there.
Okay, you got me.
I surrender. Hands up, right?
-Cute. -[laser gun zaps]
[Announcer] You are unclean.
Do not contaminate the sauce.
Did somebody say benefits?
Once a year, you're entitled
to a free soft serve ice cream cone on your hire date.
-So you got that to look forward to. -[man scoffs]
And in five short years...
They didn't really zap that guy. That's just special effects.
Okay.
They probably just bonked him on the head
and tossed him in a reclamation unit.
Yeah.
Man, you look familiar.
You're One Tank Frank.
[chuckles] Guilty as charged.
You a fan?
Yeah, I mean, it's the whole reason why I'm here,
to make clone cops.
Oh, no. Not supposed to use the C word.
Oh, clone security officers.
No, the C word is clone.
Never mind.
So is this everyone?
-I guess. -Let's have a look.
[laughs] How's it going guys?
Hello?
Kind of a celebrity situation going on here.
No, yeah, you guys take five.
Looks like it's your lucky day.
I came down here to select my newest assistant,
and I think you've got the right stuff.
Seriously? Oh, man, that's great.
That's-- should I finish the video?
No need. No, time is the best teacher.
Welcome to the future.
[upbeat music]
When-- when I point at you like this,
I'm waiting for you to tell me your name.
Oh, right, I'm Freddy.
Welcome to the future, Freddy!
[laughs]
[electronic music]
[man] Hey, kid.
Wake up kid.
[groans]
-It started. -Rub that sleep outta your eyes.
Porter wants to see ya.
That's not gonna work. We can't use the skywalk.
There's too many shops. It's covered in retinal scanners.
That I can disable.
Not from here, right?
I might have to go out on a heist, Mom.
The new guy's been out more times than me.
No, out of the question. It's too dangerous.
It is the best possible option.
Okay, this place was designed to keep people like us out.
It's a rigged system.
It's only rigged if you play by the rules.
How long am I supposed to wait for you to trust me?
-I trust you. I just-- -[woman] You're not ready.
Thank you, Fera.
You're better off hiding behind your keyboard.
I am not hiding.
Not as helpful.
Hey, it's Cipher.
-How's-- how-- -Unbelievable.
Hey, boss.
Found the new kid in the back passed out.
Well, I hope you got some sleep,
because it's gonna be a long night.
Need your route to the drop site.
My-- oh, yeah.
My-- my route, I-- I can-- I can do that.
What are you smiling at?
Hey, kid, might not wanna make eye contact.
She takes it as a threat.
-Sorry. -Yeah.
Uh, where's-- where's the drop site?
It's a little red X right there.
Cool, yeah.
Um, [clears throat] my route--
-route to the drop site is-- -[electronic beeping]
Cipher, what's going on?
I don't know. Why don't you ask Kinder?
He sounds pretty clued in.
Knock it off. What's the alarm?
[scoffs]
It's just a perimeter alert.
It's probably one of those mega rats.
Those things are size of toddlers. Let me just--
Wait, it's a vehicle and...
whatever it is, it has a government transponder.
What does that mean?
It means it's probably police.
-I got it. -No, no, hold on, Fera.
-How many? -Looks like just one.
Here, kid.
Take this.
You know, just in case.
[tense music]
It's probably a patrol. Let's wake Granny up.
Granny. That never works.
What do you know about it?
Oh, nothing. [chuckles]
I was just thinking--
Why are you smiling?
Eye contact, kid.
-Eye contact. -Right.
Kinder, go stand by the door and wait for my signal to open it.
We're gonna have to time this just right.
[tense music continues]
[motor chugging]
This is RSO 421.
Checking out suspicious activity.
If you need anywhere else.
[dispatcher] Copy that.
[humming]
[humming continues]
[RSO 421] Oh, somebody dropped a dime.
Looks like my lucky day.
-Yes? -Hello ma'am.
How are you today?
Oh, my elbow is acting up again,
but I suppose I'll survive.
Are you a police officer?
No, ma'am. I'm in a NEFARICORP Replicant security officer.
Isn't that neat?
We've received reports of unlawful activity in the area.
Could you take that helmet off, dearie?
I can't understand you.
Of course.
No, no, no, no, don't take the helmet off.
You won't be able to hear me.
Is that better?
Oh, much better. Thank you, dear.
Idiot. Why would a little old lady be living in an abandoned warehouse?
Ma'am, we've received reports of criminal activity in this warehouse.
Have you seen anything suspicious?
Oh, my.
Criminals, you say?
Well, let me think.
No, I haven't seen any criminals,
but there is a squirrel who keeps stealing my bird seed.
Do you think that's who you could be looking for?
[can clatters]
What was that?
[stammers]
Nothing, it's probably just my kettle.
Ma'am, do I have permission to enter your domicile?
Oh, my, it's such a mess in here
and I-- I can't really clean the way I used to.
If only there was a better way.
For 12 low monthly payments,
you could have your own robosan.
What's she doing?
I don't know.
Not only does it keep carpets spotless,
but it mops hardwoods, tile and laminate, too.
Something's wrong. I-- I lifted her AI
off of one of those interactive infomercials.
She must be defaulting to her sales pitch.
She's crashing.
Something keeps trying to connect to my device.
It's killing my bandwidth.
-Can you squash it? -I'm trying.
It's more than just a robotic floor cleaner.
It's a companion-panion.
Ma'am, I'm gonna have to ask you to step aside.
Uh, yes.
Are you a police officer?
[tense music]
[woman grunts]
Shoot him kid, shoot him.
[tense music continues]
-[gunshot] -[woman gasping]
Boss!
Huh? Would you look at that?
Oh, how does it look?
It's fine.
We're gonna get you patched up.
Hey, help me move her.
Oh, that is a lot of blood.
Hey, get it together. Come on.
Yeah, yeah, sorry.
[both grunt]
All right.
That's what I'm talking about.
One clone, one kill.
Oh, Jesus.
Bring me some paper towels, would you?
I feel it today, Freddy.
Oh!
I think today's gonna be a record breaker.
You might be witnessing history.
So what's next?
Well, we've established contact,
kicked the hornet's nest, so to speak.
And now we're gonna dial it up a notch.
But first we kick out the jams.
[upbeat music]
Yeah.
Ooh!
[computer beeping]
Yo, you gonna get that?
Oh, don't worry, I'm getting it.
No, no, I mean, the call.
-Are you gonna answer that? -Oh crap.
[music stops]
-Hello? -Frank.
My guys in the garage are ready to brief your replicants.
-Where are they? -They're coming.
I'm just showing my new assistant around.
Another assistant?
Yep, he's a keeper, I think
Well just make sure you gets some beauty shots
of the new vehicle, okay?
I'll see what I can do.
Frank, that wasn't a suggestion.
That's coming from the VP of merchandising.
[clicks tongue] You got it buddy.
[exhales]
-Marketing, am I right? -[laughs]
Okay, enough goofing around. Let's get serious.
I'm ready.
I'll tell you when you're ready.
You're ready.
[laughs]
All right, let's make some replicants.
[tense music]
-[man] Boss? -[Cipher] Mom?
Oh, man, she's really bleeding a lot.
[Cipher] Mom, what happened?
[Fera] She's fine. Brick, go get the med kit.
-What happened to her, Fera? -Kinder froze up.
-What? -What?
You let her get shot, I saw you.
It happened so fast, I was trying, I--
[Cipher] Shh.
Mom, hey.
You're gonna be all right, right?
Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay, babe.
Are you serious? You wanna give her sepsis?
It-- it's the only thing I could find.
-Look harder. -I'm trying the best I can.
If you know where it is, tell me and I'll go find it.
[Fera] Okay, fine, I'll just go find it.
Okay, okay, everybody calm down.
We're about to have a lot of company.
Cipher, we need to know what's going on with your system.
Okay.
I'm sorry, I-- I didn't-- I'm--
Hey, hey, hey. You didn't do this.
Go fix the glitch.
We're gonna need your defense now.
Right.
Brick.
Take the kid to the armory.
Get what you need for an assault.
On it. Come on, kid.
-Brick. -Yeah?
Load for bear.
Can I get an M250?
-I trust your instincts. -Yes.
Let's go, come on.
That rag's not gonna cut it.
Just keep pressure on the wound here
and I'm gonna go look for the med kit.
Hey, hey, hey.
-If this goes south-- -It won't.
Fera, listen to me.
No, I know what you're gonna say.
Hello, ladies, did you miss me?
Oh, Evelyn, baby.
Sarah, oh, you look so beautiful today.
But, Trin, my heart, my girl.
Hey, kid, don't be rude, introduce yourself.
These are my ladies.
[soft music]
Hello, I'm Kinder.
I don't actually feel comfortable talking to your guns.
Not gonna bite. Get to know 'em a little.
Listen, choosing a firearm
is not like a grab and go situation.
You gotta make love to 'em.
You don't just pull the trigger on the first gun
that gives you a chub.
You romance it a bit.
Take it to Arby's.
You spend a lot of alone time in here, huh?
Yeah.
Listen...
kid, you can tell me if you haven't...
you know.
I've had sex.
[laughs] No, not that, man. I don't care about that.
I just think it seems like you've never shot a gun before.
Well, of, of course I have.
Just not, you know, in-- in real life.
I mean, I've-- I've played lots of VR sims.
They're pretty realistic.
So you've never killed anyone before?
No, no.
Well, that explains why you froze up back there, Kid.
Killing someone's not like a video game.
It has emotions.
It won't happen again.
I'm ready.
Listen, hold on.
Don't be in such a rush.
You can't come back from this.
It sticks with you.
Being here, this is all I've ever wanted.
I won't let you guys down again.
Okay, when-- when that next wave comes in...
[imitates explosion]
Oh, oh, my God, I've been blown up.
My legs! My legs!
Ah!
You know, that's a shield emitter and not a grenade?
Doesn't matter. We're gonna get into explosives later,
but for now, I'm pumped.
Let's get you a gun.
How about that one?
Oh, her? No, you wouldn't be interested in that.
-Oh, come on. -Hey,
it's for your own good. She'd eat you for lunch.
I'm sorry, admittedly that was too intense.
I didn't-- it was-- I'm-- I'm sorry.
Um, I just--
I have her saved for a special occasion.
She's--
she's my prom date.
You a weird guy, Brick.
Yeah.
Let's get a gun.
Okay.
Yeah. What's her name?
Uh...
I like-- I like Brenda.
-Brenda. Brenda. -Brenda, yeah?
Brenda. She's a stick-- it's-- yes.
-That's a stock. I like it, it's a good name. -Yeah.
[keys clacking]
[Cipher] What the? Come on.
-[computer beeps] -[Cipher exhales]
You going for coffee? I'll take one.
I am working.
Easy.
Just kidding. I know you're working.
How is she?
[soft music]
In and out.
Lots of pain.
Thank you.
You know, for taking care of her.
-I owe her. -I know.
But still.
Thank you.
[soft music continues]
[computer beeping]
So what's up with your computer?
So frustrating.
There's something in the building that keeps pinging to my network,
trying to connect to it.
It's cycling through all my ports,
running everything offline.
I don't know what to do to fix it.
I thought you knew everything about the system.
I do, but whatever it is, it's not mine.
It's something called DENTA track.
-I never-- -DENTA track?
Those are great. I love mine.
[Cipher] What do you know about it?
Yeah, it's-- it's my smart retainer.
Your what?
Smart retainer. Top of the line.
[Cipher] Give it to me.
I didn't bring my case.
I don't care.
I'm only required to wear it at night.
My orthodontist, Dr. Swindoll, he says I could wear it during the day.
So I like using the pedometer function to track my steps.
That is pretty cool actually.
[Fera] No, do not encourage him.
This has a satellite network uplink.
Why?
Oh, so Dr. Swindoll could track my alignment in real time.
Wow.
Yeah, it's-- it's pretty cool.
He-- he can make adjustments on the fly.
-He could-- -Shut up. I'm--
I'm sorry. Please stop talking. I am working.
That's your "I just found something" posture.
What's up?
Look, I-- I piggybacked off of the uplink
and it is a whole other network.
It's huge. It's like a completely different Internet.
It's-- it's probably not a-- a great idea, right?
Jumping on some-- some random Internet source.
-The viruses. -Shh.
Look, this is the closest node to us,
and it is full of video feeds.
I wonder if I can just...
Yup, password was admin123.
God, people are predictable.
-[soft music] -[computer beeps]
-Ow. -It's--
it's coming from inside the hideout.
When did you install those cameras?
[Cipher] I didn't.
Somebody's been watching us.
Mom, you're awake.
Can you shut it down?
[Cipher] I mean, I'd have to find a back door somewhere and--
-Do it. -[Cipher] Okay.
I guess we know how the cops found us.
This isn't the cops.
This is a corporate server, not government.
[Brick] But who would wanna watch us?
[upbeat electronic music]
[gunshots firing]
Hey, guys, welcome back to the stream.
I'm Persephone and with me, as always is Thongdaddy420.
Thong, big surprise.
The computer hacker Cipher has discovered our camera feeds.
We gotta wonder what's going through her head.
Seph, I think the bigger question will be,
will she like and subscribe?
We're only just 20 minutes into this episode
and already we've had some major firsts.
That's right. Let's all give it up for the winner
of our Be the Baddy Contest, Cameron "Kinder" Pace,
who bested over 10,000 entrants
for his chance to rub elbows with our favorite villains.
-[air horn blares] -Now, Cameron, or rather Kinder,
is not just some schlub off the street.
He is a verified CrimeTime360 mega fan.
I had the chance to chat with him
before he went under station.
Let's take a look.
So, Cameron, how does it feel to be the first fan ever
to actually step foot inside the game?
Are you nervous?
Yeah.
But, you know, I--
I feel like I've been preparing for this my whole life.
I've been watching CT360 since I was a kid.
I know all the arenas.
I played every VR sim.
Wait, every sim?
Including Persephone's dance party?
100 percented it.
Twice. [chuckles]
Wow. Aren't you scared though?
I mean, this isn't a sim.
I know it's dangerous, but...
I have maxed out my rankings in the virtual world.
I'm ready to take it to the next level.
Also, it doesn't hurt that the replicants
are programmed not to shoot at you.
Yeah, yeah, that too. [chuckles]
You can catch my full interview with Kinder
on Nefari Plus. Link in the chat.
Now we've only just begun this matchup,
and with only a single replicant down,
there's much more action to come.
Hey, looks like we can check in with One Tank Frank.
Let's see what's going on in the Clone Dome.
Hi Frank, how are things at Replicant HQ?
Hello, hello, Persephone,
I swear you get prettier every time I see you.
Always a charmer.
So what can you tell us about today's episode?
Well, as you saw, we already scored a hit on Porter,
which is a pretty big win for us, but we're not resting.
We've got something pretty special brewing over here.
Frank, you gotta be jazzed at the scoreboard right now.
One clone down, one criminal down.
Thong, you can't ask for better results than that.
So, Frank, are we gonna see a bruiser today, do you think?
I can't reveal too much.
Oh, come on, bro.
You gotta give us something.
All right, I can reveal that our next group of replicants
should be a big hit with your squad.
The Hit Squad.
Now that's what I'm talking about.
We haven't seen the Hit Squad at all this season.
Why bring them back now?
Well, we gave them a new set of wheels
and I think you guys are really gonna love it.
A little busy here, Freddy.
Oh, who's that you got there with you, Frank?
Oh, nobody. Freddy, he's my new assistant.
Another new assistant?
Welcome toCrimeTime360 Freddy.
Hey.[chuckles]
I'm-- I'm a big fan of the show.
-Can I help you? -Oh, yeah.
You told me to let you know when the Battle Buggy--
Up-up-up-up! Let's not spoil the big surprise.
I better get back to it. You guys stay tuned.
[Persephone] You know we will. Thanks, Frank.
Well guys, you heard the man.
The Hit Squad making their season nine debut.
I'm getting a little chubby over here.
[horn blares]
Let's take a look at just who The Hit Squad are.
[announcer] In the annals of history.
Ha, annals.
[announcer] There are great warriors,
but four names stand above the rest.
Each a specialist in their field.
Axel, a master of stealth and infiltration.
They'll never see me coming.
[announcer] Bullit, a deadly small arms expert.
Don't nobody draw down on Bullit.
[announcer] Riggs, explosives are his game.
Better cover your ears. [laughs]
[announcer] And Walker,
with black belts in seven forms of martial arts.
Together, they are The Hit Squad,
an elite force designed to eliminate criminal threats.
Heads up.
[explosion]
[upbeat music]
I am gonna call it, total gang wiping under 15 minutes for a new record.
The Hit Squad coming back with a new mystery vehicle.
I hope it's a jet.
[computer beeping]
[soft music]
It's cold.
I'm guessing that's just me.
You lost a lot of blood.
You aren't losing anymore, so you can rest.
I'm fading, Fera.
You're gonna have to take over for me.
That's not me, boss.
I'm not cut out for it.
It has to be.
You're the only choice.
[soft music continues]
I'm not.
-She's not ready. -[computer beeps]
Perimeter alert. It's moving fast, some kind of vehicle.
[tense music]
-I'll check it out. -I'll go with you.
He doesn't need any help.
Oh, come on, Fera, he's just trying to learn.
[Fera] He'll just get in the way.
Stay hidden, numbers and loadouts, report back on radio.
Yeah, I know how to do recon.
Sorry, kid.
Maybe next time.
[chair rolling]
How's it going?
Slow.
Managed to find out where the camera feed is going.
But I can't access the data,
so I'm having to clone the drive.
It's taking a while.
Yeah, yeah, I-- I didn't realize
how much waiting around there would be.
Do you need something?
I was-- I was just checking on you.
I know you and your--
Porter, I know you guys are close.
[scoffs]
Not really.
Sometimes.
I lost my mom when I was a kid.
It was rough.
My dad wasn't really around much.
Kind of stopped living my life after that.
Spent all my time playing games.
My mom isn't dead, so...
I know, I'm--
I'm sorry.
Ugh, I am not good at this.
You're really not.
I meant talking to pretty girls.
[soft music]
[whispers] I'm gonna stop talking now.
[engine rumbling]
[Fera on radio] Brick, report, see anything?
[Brick] Is that a dune buggy?
[engine rumbling]
Yeah, yeah. I see 'em. They're in a vehicle.
Kinda.
What are they doing?
It's called a beauty shot, Freddy.
Merchandising is the name of the game.
And by tomorrow morning, every kid in America
will want a Battle Buggy.
Are these guys serious?
Hey, dingle berries!
[gunshots firing]
-Whoa! -Ooh!
[upbeat music]
[announcer] Criminals don't stand a chance
against The Hit Squad.
They'll never see me coming.
[announcer] An elite replicant security force,
the Hit Squad are designed for maximum impact.
[child] Better cup your ears.
[announcer] And introducing the Battle Buggy,
an indestructible weapon of war.
Whoa, criminals beware.
[announcer] It's The Hit Squad and the Battle Buggy
from Chadbro.
A subsidiary of NEFARICORP.
Stupid Battle Buggy.
Those marketing guys, you know, they--
they think can just slap the Hit Squad logo on anything
and it'll sell.
Wow.
-You've had a lot of assistants. -What?
I'm just saying, like, I know there's a high standard with
you being One Tank Frank and all,
and I just want you to know that I'm a team player
and I'm gonna do whatever it takes
to make sure your streak stays alive.
-Is that so? -[computer beeping]
Hold that thought.
Frank, what the hell was that?
You said you wanted a beauty shot.
What about that was beautiful?
Well, the logo looked great.
It's covered in blood.
I'm trying to sell toys here, Frank.
You remember how well our Crazy for Gacy playset did?
Yeah, not great.
Hey, I'm just following orders.
Your orders actually.
Huh?
You might think your little fan cult
gives you some type of power,
but as much as people love a winner,
they love to see them fall so much more.
Okay, I'll keep that in mind.
[exhales]
What were we talking about?
Oh, I was just saying that I'm--
I'm not gonna let you down.
I know you won't, Freddy. I know you won't.
How are we looking on sauce?
Uh...
Hold on.
About, probably like, about this much.
There's a gauge on the side of the tank.
Right.
You can thank me now or you can thank me later,
but the problem is solved.
I told you to radio back, not fire indiscriminately.
I was discriminate.
They all got in a line basically.
I couldn't have been any more discriminate.
I wanted intel. Were they police, military?
I don't know, it was four guys in a go-kart.
-Describe them. -Okay.
There was a ninja, a construction worker.
-I think it was an HVAC person. -All right, Brick,
Brick, we got it.
Look, I say we make a run for it.
We are already on surveillance
and now they're sending in special forces.
Mm, they weren't that special.
-We can't leave. -Oh, my God, Fera,
you do not have to fight everyone on Earth.
Oh, my God, I'm literally not trying to.
It's Porter. She's in a really bad state right now,
and I think if we move her, she's not gonna make it,
so we have to buy more time.
[tense music]
So we make a stand.
I'm ready to fight.
-Great, Kinder's ready to fight. -All right.
We hold out long enough for Mom to stabilize.
How are we looking on weapons?
Gassed up like Talladega.
I don't know what that means, but I trust you.
Look, now that I've sorted out the network issue,
I can get our defense grid back online.
But I'm gonna need to do a full system reboot.
Okay, that means we will all be totally vulnerable.
No sensors, nothing.
Do it.
Kinder, go secure all the doors except for the atrium.
They'll have no other way to enter the building.
We'll make our stand there.
Oh, kill box.
A what?
Classic video game tactic.
Funnel all your enemy through one entrance
and then set up all your defenses right there.
[upbeat music]
Kill box.
I like it. Stop smiling.
-Brick, set it up. -On it.
Let's go.
[upbeat music continues]
Is this gonna work?
-It has to. -Yeah.
All right, looking good.
Parameters all within nominal range.
Stand by for release.
-All right, Freddy, pop that top. -[dings]
[hisses]
How's he look?
Like a wet hot dog.
Ha! That's just his amniotic layer.
Doesn't always wash off in the last cycle.
Just grab some paper towels.
Hello, friend. I'm activated and ready to serve.
[Frank] Diagnostic?
Buddy, I am 100% operational.
How are you today?
Hey, stand still.
Okey-dokey, artichokey.
Wait a second. Freddy, hold up.
[tense music]
What, am I-- am I doing it wrong?
[Frank] Replicant, what did you just say?
I said I am 100% operational and isn't it a lovely day?
No, after that.
He said, "Okie-dokey artichokey."
-[sighs] Juice him. -Why?
Because anachronisms aren't part of this behavior program.
Must be a buffer overflow from a taxi driver or something.
-Juice him. -I thought these things
were like fully autonomous or whatever.
They are, but we bake in their personality
and behavior programs during replication.
Do you want to watch a training video?
I mean, if you want to.
Oh, my God.
Watch this while I clear the buffer.
[electronic music]
All right, so let's see, we've covered
genomics and stabilizing DNA.
We talked about inner office dating.
Do not do it.
Oh, oh. Behavioral programming.
So Replicants come out as a fully developed adult,
but their mind is a blank slate.
We call it baby brain.
The cloning pod zaps tons of information
into a brain in just a few seconds.
Now don't get in there and try it on yourself.
It only works on replicants.
We load them up with all the stuff they need to know how to do their job.
But we also give them memories that make them love it too.
So they're happy to work. That's how you know you're not a replicant.
Be careful though. Giving the wrong behavior profile to a replicant
will make them hate their job. Like really hate it.
Like murderously hate it.
And you.
Let's get you juiced.
[upbeat music]
Go this way.
Yeah.
[clears throat]
[mutters]
I'm gonna kill you.
Okay, thank you.
[electronic zapping]
[slurping]
[bubbling]
[soft music]
We're doing that well, huh?
Hey.
How do you feel?
Good. I'm feeling better.
What are you still doing here?
Cipher's right.
You should make a run for it.
Thought you had passed out.
Hmm.
Must have heard it in a dream.
Fera, I'm not gonna lay here
and watch you all die around me.
Get my daughter out of here.
She won't leave you and neither will I.
Well, you're both too damn stubborn.
Well, I wonder where we learned that from.
[Porter] Please.
Just this once.
Stop fighting everyone.
I don't think I ever thanked you...
for getting me out, for buying my leash off the MTK King.
Sometimes it feels like a different life,
like I watched it on the holo.
What they turned me into off the people that I hurt.
I can't undo that.
But you made me feel human again.
You were never anything less.
[Brick] You're so beautiful.
You like fondue?
Ever been to-- you ever been to-- we should go for fondue.
[Fera on radio] Brick, do you have a visual?
Not yet, but I gotta tell you,
it sounds like a lot more than four.
[dramatic music]
Reboot's almost done.
We should be back online in 30 seconds.
Girls, listen to me.
This is not a suggestion.
I'm telling you to leave me.
One dead old convict is not worth four living ones.
What are you talking about? Fera, we're not leaving her.
No, we're not.
You have to accept reality.
[Brick on radio] Cipher, I'm not gonna lie.
I got myself in a smidge of pickle.
[dramatic music]
[clone] We will find you.
Almost there.
-She's working on it. -[clone] Kill.
-Got it. -[beeps]
Memory full? How big was that clone drive?
[Brick] Contact. We have contact.
[gunshots]
[clone] You suck.
[clone] Time for some action.
Kid. Welcome to the party.
[gunshots continue]
[clone] Is that the best you got?
[dramatic music continues]
Season nine?
What does that mean?
Back online, defense grid powering up.
[gunshots]
[clone] Ow, I'm hit.
Kill box.
[clone] Entry needed, door one.
[door buzzing]
-[beeping] -[Cipher] Breach.
-Where? -Where?
Hallway door.
Kid is worthless. I'll take care of it.
I've got it covered.
Fera, I said I've got it.
[sighs]
[gunshots in distance]
[humming]
When it comes to stopping power,
let me tell you, size matters.
Introducing the all new M250
light machine gun from Quigley Arms.
We took the 249
and made it one better.
It's a big gun for big boys.
Where the hell did you pull that holo from?
[Cipher] Got it from Brick's email.
At 200 rounds per minute,
the M250 is sure to penetrate any defense
from barb to bush.
It's kind of hot.
And every purchase comes
with a years' supply of gun oil.
-[giggles] -[electricity zapping]
[gunfire]
Jesus, kid, you should have hit one on accident by now.
I'm trying. This gun sucks.
Hey, watch your mouth.
[gunshot]
[gunfire]
[clone] Just keep firing.
[gunfire]
Why are they only shooting at me?
I'm out.
There's one left, kid. Give me your gun.
I just ran out.
Well, then here we go.
-Mama said knock you... -Oh, no.
...out. Oh.
Hey, kid.
Didn't we already kill this guy?
[both laughing]
With the mouse?
[tense music]
What is this?
Cipher, behind you!
[gunshots]
[Porter groaning]
[both grunting]
[gunshot]
[gasping]
Mom.
Mom, mom.
Mom.
And welcome back.
We've just seen a heroic effort
by our replicant security officers
that had me on the edge of my seat.
Seph, can you believe it?
Our mega fan, wonder Kinder
with his first ever CrimeTime360 kill.
What an incredible round.
Right up to the wire.
I really thought Cipher was a goner.
I just wish I'd gotten to see Fera go full beast mode.
My lady,la tigra,
let your freak flag fly. Ow.
Don't make me turn the hose on you.
Promises, promises.
Hey, let's check in with Frank and Freddy down in the lab.
[electronic music]
Don't, use the other end.
That's the rectal side.
That's unsanitary.
Frank, can you hear us?
Hey, hey, guys. Sorry.
We were just getting set up for the next wave.
What a round we just had.
A total clone wipe out on your end.
That's gotta hurt.
Yeah, but don't you worry.
Old One tank Frank isn't that easy to beat.
Guys, let's pull up the Spin Gin sauce O-meter
and see how we're looking.
42%
and the gang is still at full strength.
You gotta tell me, and I know you won't,
but you gotta tell me.
Does that worry you at all?
Well, Dale,
I think if you check your facts,
you'll see that Porter is dead.
Is there anything you'd like to say
about the disappointing performance
turned out by the Hit Squad?
Hey, you know what, guys?
I've still got a lot of work to do here,
so we'll just chat after the episode.
All right, we'll talk to you soon.
Let's get back to the action
and see how this vicious criminal gang
is celebrating their victory.
Mom, hey.
Hey, stay with me.
Be better.
I know.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.
No, no, no, be better than me.
I never understood your mind.
It's so bright.
And from the dark, you blinded me.
You can be better than this. You can be more.
No. No, I can't.
I'm sorry.
I didn't know how to be what you needed.
I wanted you to...
I thought...
You're my mom.
That's all I needed.
It's all I ever needed.
[somber music]
Fera.
Take care of each other.
Yeah, we will.
No more fighting.
You're more than that now.
You're sisters.
[sobbing]
-[box crashing] -[grunts]
[somber music]
Just, who the hell do they think they are
talking to me like I'm some kind of fresh behind the ears pod scrubber?
-Yeah. -I made this goddamn show.
Do you know what the ratings were before I took over the lab?
-[Freddy] Bad? -Well, they were not great, I can tell you that.
They owe me, that's for damn sure.
-This whole company owes me. -[computer beeping]
Maybe I should take this.
I really don't have time for this, Murphy.
20 clones and not a single kill?
Do I need to remind you the whole purpose for this show,
for your job,
is to sell replicants?
We got a kill. I would've had two kills
except for that jackass Kinder kid you put into the game.
My guys can't even shoot at him.
How the hell am I supposed to compete with that?
Kinder is a marketing tool, not a hardened criminal.
You're a marketing tool.
Maybe I should tell HR about all the surveillance footage you keep deleting.
Freddy, reset the pods.
This just got personal.
Oh, God, I hate the cream spinach flavor.
[soft music]
Wait a second.
So you're telling me all those guys I killed,
were all the same guy?
If they've replaced the police with clones
-we're in really big trouble. - Definitely.
How's that?
'Cause we can't outlast them. They'll just keep making more.
Replicants.
There's something you all need to see.
[computer beeping]
Hey, there all you future fight fans.
I'm Persephone, your number one stream queen.
and with me is the crown prince of competitive gaming, Thongdaddy420.
-[air horn blares] -What's up?
[Persephone] We would like to welcome you
to the first ever episode ofCrimeTime360
gladiatorial combat for the 21st century.
That's right. We've taken DNA from some
of the most notorious killers of all time
and created a super team of cloned bad guys.
I'm talking the worst of the worst,
terrorists, assassins, black hat hackers.
These villains are tricked out and ready to bring the...
Hey, that's me.
[Persephone] These criminals will have to face off
against an army of replicant security officers.
The newest technology from NEFARICORP.
It's gonna be a bloodbath.
And don't you worry, we have no shortage of DNA.
For every officer they off, we'll make two more
until the last criminal's just a stain on the floor.
[laughs]
Cipher, what the hell is this?
So we're all clones, too?
No.
No, no, this is a trick.
Someone is trying to get into our heads.
They hacked your system and they planted those videos.
This isn't a hack. I would know.
[Fera] No, I--
I have memories.
Right? Of what they did to me.
They turned me into an animal.
I can-- I can remember the pain.
I was a child and they kept me on a leash
and they spliced my DNA and-- and-- and--
and they made me kill people to survive.
And I still see their faces every time I close my eyes.
Porter, Porter saved me.
If I'm a clone, how the hell do I have these memories?
Because they wanted you to be a villain.
Play another video.
All the same.
Okay, every single one
is an episode of this show.
And in every single one, we all die.
It's not always here. Sometimes it's in a bank
or an airplane,
but they're all the same.
I'm-- I'm-- I'm kind of losing it here, Cipher.
I don't-- I don't know what memories are real
and which ones are fake. I--
Every memory before the last hour is fake.
[Fera] That's bullshit.
This is the first video feed recorded today.
[light music]
All right, let's talk about it.
Which way?
I think I like this.
So we all die?
All of us?
Every time?
Not all of us.
Kinder isn't in any of the videos.
[tense music]
Oops. Looks like we lost transmission there
before we could find out exactly what Cipher discovered on her computer.
Let's hope it's more holo videos
from Brick's private collection.
You're so gross.
You have no idea.
Why don't we take a short commercial break
while we figure this out? Don't go anywhere.
We've got lots more action coming up onCrimeTime360 .
[gunfire]
Freeze, criminal scum.
[gunshot]
Hi, there. I'm John Franklin.
You probably recognize me from, well, everywhere.
I'm the original United States police officer
on which all replicant security forces are based.
-[clone] Hey, John. -[clone 2] Looking good, John.
When I'm not protecting you,
I like to relax with something smooth and nutritious,
which is why I drink Spin Gin.
It's the only gin made with real spinach.
Every bottle packs two whole servings of vegetables.
It's a real steal of a meal.
[both laughing]
-Spin Gin. -[funky music]
♪ You'll have the strength Of 10 men ♪
♪ You're face Will have a big grin ♪
♪ Life is a win win ♪
♪ If you're drinking That Spin Gin ♪
[funky music continues]
Liquor that's good for you.
[tense music]
You left the door open for them, didn't you?
No, no, I-- I swear they they were all locked.
They don't shoot at you 'cause you're one of them.
I-- I-- I'm with you guys. I-- I swear.
I killed the one that had Cipher, remember?
Hardly matters though, does it?
They're clones, they can be replaced.
That's what the idiot with the gold tooth said.
Kinder. Come on, kid. What the hell's going on?
[tense music continues]
All right, all right, all right, my--
my name isn't Kinder.
All right, it's-- it's Cameron.
I'm not--
I won a contest.
A contest?
Yeah, yeah, the-- the-- the Be a Baddy contest.
It's for the show. I won a contest for the show
and I-- and I get to be on it.
That's-- that's why I'm here.
I am not with the cops.
I'm here to help you guys fight them.
I am your biggest fan.
-Yeah, I'm gonna stab him. -Wait.
He could be telling the truth.
I saw something about it in one of the videos.
Are you serious?
You think someone would choose to be here?
I did, though.
I wanted to meet you guys. To-- to fight beside you.
I've-- I've played all your sims.
Sims?
This is a game to you?
No.
I mean it was, but-- but not anymore.
I didn't--
you guys weren't real to me before this.
You were just characters in a-- in a TV show.
But--
but Cipher almost getting killed in front of me and--
and Porter.
I see now...
how it hurts you, how-- how real you are.
I'm sorry, I didn't want you to find out.
I'm sorry.
Is it true?
Are we just clones?
[soft music]
Yeah, Brick, yeah, it's true.
But you're not-- you're not just clones.
You're my friends.
Kind of my only friends.
How does it end, Cameron?
What do you mean?
If we all die,
the show ends when we die.
How does it end with you in it?
Nobody told me that.
I didn't really ask. I just thought we would win.
It ends with you
surrounded by the corpses of your friends.
Yeah, I'm gonna stab him.
-No. -No, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Make sure you get those injection ports.
-[Freddy] Oh. -That's it.
You're doing very nice work.
Thanks.
[computer beeping]
You keep scrubbing while I deal with this idiot.
[growls]
Listen, jackass, if I want your opinion,
I'll pull your string like your puppet master... Mr. Nefari.
Hello, sir.
You know, fuck it. Just mark a hole in one on this one.
Yeah. Not bad, right?
Frank, or shall I call you One Tank?
-Whatever you like, sir. -Great, I'll just call you Frank.
Listen, we've run into a little snag.
I'm gonna need you to wrap this episode up
in say the next 15 minutes or so.
That's... not a lot of time.
I know, it's so good to see you, too.
Listen, we've had to kill the feed
and you know the old saying,
dead air don't sell replicants.
Ha! No, it-- it's on my coffee mug. [laughs]
Great, I probably paid for it.
Listen, I think 50 replicants should do it, okay.
Yes, sir. But-- but-- but-- but the thing is that's--
that's-- that's really not a lot of time.
Stop it, it's my pleasure. Frank,
I know you're not gonna let me down on this.
You are the best technician we have.
My number one guy. Shh.
Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
Do you think we have bigger balls?
Is that a possibility?
[Freddy] You okay?
You look like you were about to throw up.
Let-- let me grab you something.
No.
I thought you were gonna throw up.
How much sauce we got left?
42%.
You want me to load some more?
You'd love that, wouldn't you?
You would absolutely love to see me fail.
Here's your chance to take the crown.
Well, guess what?
I'm One Tank Frank. Not you.
One Tank Freddy doesn't even rhyme.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You got me all wrong, man.
I don't want your crown. I'm-- I'm here to help you.
I'm on your side. What do you want me to do?
-You're my assistant. -You're right.
All right, then.
Shut up.
Let me think.
We'll just have to downgrade the sequence.
That'll get us to the number we need in the time we have.
But that much genetic drift won't support
the behavior program
unless...
[tense music]
-What's the play? -Well, if we allow a higher variance,
we can take some shortcuts
with the DNA sequencer.
Whoa, whoa, I thought-- I thought variance was a bad thing.
Only because the behavior programs
need a predictable level of genetic drift to take hold.
But that doesn't matter if we use a different program.
Oh, what do you have in mind?
Just a special little number
I've been working on in my spare time.
It's optimized for lower grade replicants,
doesn't require a lot of processing power, if you catch my drift.
So they'll be dumb.
Not dumb. Just...
easily convinced.
All right, best ideas, how do we get out of this?
Can we get out of this?
Seems to me we're caged in.
Sure, but it's just like any other system.
There has to be a back door, some kind of redundancy.
Maybe we can just hold out. We've been doing pretty good.
-That won't work. -Shut up.
I'm trying to help.
They really are replicants.
I mean, no one calls 'em that. We all call 'em clone cops.
They replaced real cops years ago.
It was a big deal.
Put a lot of people out of work.
It's been happening all over.
It sucks.
Real cops, they weren't perfect,
but they had their humanity.
Oh, so we lack humanity now?
No, that's not what I meant.
These guys, they-- they don't have weaknesses like us.
They don't get scared.
When one of 'em dies, the rest just keep going.
They don't bury the bodies.
They just recycle them to make more clone cops.
Come on, guys.
Now that you know the truth, I can tell you lots of stuff.
I know everything about this show.
Brick, that group that you killed earlier,
that was The Hit Squad.
They're an elite team of specialized clone cops.
And you took 'em all out.
Oh, I wish I could have been there to see that.
I swear, if you don't shut up.
The Hit Squad?
What a stupid name.
What's the dune buggy called?
The dune buggy is new actually.
Dune buggy. There's a dune buggy parked just outside.
[announcer] And now a message
from Robert Nefari of NEFARICORP,
the nation's leader in genetically modified organisms
and soft serve technologies.
Hello and congratulations.
It may interest you to learn
that you are the first group of criminal replicants
in nine years to become self-actualized.
Wow. Give yourselves a round of applause.
No, don't.
You are superstars.
And I'm not just saying that.
Your show,CrimeTime360 ,
is the highest rated streaming sports entertainment program
on the net! Whoo.
Now, naturally, we wanna maintain that presence.
So I wanna make you all a deal.
Let us come in and reset the scenario
with a fresh batch of replicants
and I'll arrange for you your safe exit.
In fact, we're gonna whisk you away
to your own private island
where you can lay on the beach all day,
sipping Spin Gin martinis.
And what? Just let other versions of ourselves die instead?
[laughs] Possibly, I don't know. I can't tell the future.
You're not seeing the big picture here I think.
I'm impressed with you.
Is that even plausible?
We took your DNA from the literal scum of the Earth
and to see you rise above your base instincts, become a team,
It's-- it's really-- it's touching.
And I want to reward you.
And if we refuse?
Well, you know, you've seen the vids.
What do you have to gain?
I have an endless supply of replicants at my disposal.
I control every door and window in the building.
Yeah, you're right, Fera, this is a cage.
So let's help each other here.
I need to get the stream back online.
And the fastest way to do that is by,
you know, replacing you all with a fresh batch.
Fresh batch. [laughs]
You just lay down your weapons.
You let me take care of everything.
Okay? You can do those drinks on the beach,
you know, or die, whatever.
Can't tell the future. [laughing]
We can take care of ourselves.
Shall we?
[soft music]
Do they just-- are they-- are they gone?
Where are they going?
So what are they doing? Did they give an answer?
Oh, I like your science man coat.
Not now, all right. Here, put this on.
-No, thank you. -Put on your uniform.
-Hey, hey, Frank. -How many does that make?
Do you notice something different about these guys?
Of course they seem different. I already told you.
Four, six, eight,
10 plus the eight tall ones.
[clone] Ooh, it smells like me in here.
-Go get 'em. -[clone] Oh, I'm gonna get 'em.
Listen, I-- I know you said that these--
these guys wouldn't be that smart, but
there's something really different about these guys.
-[squealing] -It's fine.
I just stripped them of any sense of inhibition whatsoever
and reduce their modesty protocols to almost zero.
[clone] Ready for takeoff, science daddy.
[whooping]
Frank.
Have you been having sex with the replicants?
[Frank] No!
Yes.
But I don't have a lot of free time.
Please don't yuck my yum.
Listen, what a man does in the privacy of his own lab,
that is his business.
But aren't you afraid of catching the clonemydia?
Can we please just focus on the task at hand here?
-How many does that make us? -We don't even have 50 yet.
That's fine. We don't have enough helmets anyway.
We'll just send the rest when they're done.
Also, clonemydia is a myth. I should send you some links.
You gotta do your own research.
What are we gonna do about the rifles?
-[clone giggling] -They'll pick 'em up off the dead ones.
[whooping]
There's gonna be a lot of dead ones.
Come on.
Go.
It's-- how does it start?
[tense music]
The Battle Buggy is remote start.
You think I would create a team of replicant super criminals
and just leave the keys in the glove box.
Wait, it's a trick. Check the glove box.
Move, I can hot wire it.
Guys, come on.
Come on, the sooner you realize it, the easier it'll be.
You're not in a fair fight.
I've rigged the system. Of course I did.
Sure I gave you weapons and a computer defense system,
but that was really just to showcase
our powerful replicant security officers.
Hey, we're holding our own here, guy.
Brick, you're meant to.
The whole point of this show, people,
is to draw viewers in with violence.
What do they take away from it?
That no matter how tough the bad guys are,
no matter how many replicants they kill,
that we'll just keep making them until we win.
And I gotta tell you, it's been very profitable.
Very profitable.
It's all blood money.
I haven't killed anyone.
You're just a bunch of clones. You're my property.
Good guys, bad guys, it doesn't really matter to me.
The blood is what people want.
They'll watch you commit atrocities
and go to bed with a smile on their face
because they know that I'm selling an army to protect them.
That's all I care about, you guys.
I just wanna sell replicants.
I genuinely don't care if the three of you
spend the rest of your lives getting drunk on a beach.
-Let me help you. -[clone] So bright out here.
-Hey, we got company. -[clone laughs]
-Ooh, grass. -Y'all look like me.
-It really is weird. -Come on, guys, they're over here.
Are those guys coming to the beach, too?
Oops, got me.
Okay, well, I was telling a bit of a fib.
I needed to buy time till the next batch of replicants were ready.
Looks like they're ready. Oh.
-I've almost got it. -No you don't.
I told you, it's a remote start.
I have the remote. I mean, is it me?
I'm gonna find you and make you pay for all of this.
Good luck, moron. I live in space, bye.
[tense music]
I'm gonna go kill this thing.
I'm gonna stick my gun up it and pull the trigger.
Inside.
-Brick, come back. -No, I'm not.
No, I'm not.
-[gunfire] -[glass breaking]
So it's floating in the middle of the hot tub.
Nobody will take credit for it, by the way.
The water jets turn on and it starts floating towards me.
But the ketamine finally has kicked in and I can't move.
Oh, thank God, the feed is back.
I'll tell you the rest later.
[Cipher] Run back, boiler room.
-[clone] Go time. -[gunfire]
Oh, a little bit of friendly fire there.
That's odd.
Frank must have really turned up the aggression.
Must have.
-[Brick] Damn it. -We're trapped down here.
Mom was right, I'm not ready for this.
Hey, guys.
-Kid. -Hurry up, come on.
How'd you get loose?
I've seen every hostage episode.
-Fera always ties the same knot. -No I don't.
-Yeah, you do. -Nice work, kid.
All right, I appreciate the save.
But they control the doors and we have an army behind us.
-That's why I brought this. -Not bad.
How long will this hold?
Long enough to make a plan, come on.
Come on, come on, everybody.
Everybody go, go, go.
[tense music]
[tense music continues]
Great. Our defensive measures are down.
-They're dead. -That's why I prefer analog.
All right, well, you shoot, shoot, shoot and I'll type, type, type.
Are those cameras still on?
[Cipher] Yup. And the feet is live, too.
Just in case.
Come on.
[soft music]
[clone] Ew, the door's heavy.
Ah.
Hey.
Ow.
Ow! [laughs]
[gunfire]
[clone] So many bullets.
Ah!
These guys-- does these guys seem different to you?
Same to me. Same shirt, same hat.
[gunfire]
[clone] Oh, God.
Nah, they're all different sizes and kind of dumb.
-Oh! -Kid.
Hold on.
Ooh, shiny.
-Let me hold it. -Hey, it's my turn.
Finders keepers.
Ah!
Smells like burning.
Ow, that stings.
-They shot me. -It's just a flesh wound.
-You'll be all right. -No, Brick, he shot me.
He's not supposed to be able to shoot me.
Something's changed.
Hey, Cipher, do you have a feed?
Tell me you're seeing what I'm seeing.
[clone] Right back there.
[clone] And then to really give it to 'em
you just get down in there, you gotta get down.
You get low in that squat.
They're all different sizes. Are they not clone cops?
[Kinder] Making this many this fast
must've taxed their system. Hang tight, I have an idea.
It doesn't matter how tall they are,
there's too many of them and they know exactly where we are.
[gunfire]
What the hell?
I've-- I created a blind spot.
I mean, we-- we take out enough cameras
-and they can't keep tabs on us. -That's great.
Awesome. Just let me do the shooting, okay,
'cause you're gonna kill yourself.
Keep-- keep clicking those keys.
Can't see us now, can you?
[clone] My beautiful face.
My beautiful face. Why would you throw that at me?
Well, not to worry,
the gang may have knocked out some of our cameras,
but we have a live feed coming in
from every single replicant in the field.
And we're gonna continue to show you all the action
up close and personal.
What was up with that Kinder kid being shot?
That's kind of wild, right?
-Dude. -Well, am I wrong?
If that kid dies, our viewers
are gonna have to suspend a hell of a lot of disbelief.
Right? Right?
[tense music]
All right, let's hear it.
So this batch of clone cops all look different.
Well, different enough. Ow.
So I was thinking we grab a few,
put on their uniforms and we can probably walk out of here without anyone noticing.
That's a terrible idea. You think people won't notice when we just disappear?
We can dress up some of the dead ones in our clothes.
Isn't the whole point of the show for people to watch us die?
Cipher, you should really be in charge of plans over here.
What if I feed them old footage
of us dying from previous episodes?
I mean, to anyone watching, it would look like we died right in front of them.
You could do that?
Well, not right now.
I would need to access the hard lines
where the camera feeds go. I just...
What?
I don't know where it is.
I do.
Yeah, before they sedated me to-- to put me on the show, they gave me a tour.
-A tour. -I thought it'd be cool.
I'd meet One Tank Frank and make my own clone.
But the only person available to gimme a tour when I got there
was this sound engineer named Hunter.
Pretty nice guy actually.
He showed me the hard line uplink and the control box
and the best bathroom to poop in.
It's just outside.
The hard line uplink, not the--
[Fera] Shut up.
What else?
Well, I would need to power everything down
as I set up my feed and then
power everything back up again.
It would take a while.
How long is a while?
I don't know, three minutes.
But once it's powered back on,
I can execute the program anytime we want.
I'll go.
You're not invulnerable anymore.
-It's too dangerous. -Okay, look,
Brick is keeping them from getting inside.
You're taking care of the ones that do.
And Cipher needs to stay here to run the program.
I'm nobody.
I don't have a function. I just won a contest.
Off the top of my head, I can think of about
20 different reasons why this won't work.
[Brick] Guys, I'm running low on ammo.
What are we gonna do, boss?
All right, this is what needs to happen.
All right, so we've got everybody in the field,
but we've only got 25 left.
50% loss already?
That doesn't make any sense.
No, look, there's 28, not 25.
No, this one can't figure out the door.
This one's trying to pick a leaf.
And this one, I don't know what he's doing.
Oh, he's looking at himself on his camera.
All right, you made your point.
I am gonna make a bruiser.
-It's a great idea. -I know.
But do we have enough sauce for that?
Don't worry about it.
Go grab the biggest uniform you can find.
Got it.
Ah.
How do I look
Stupid.
All right, we have about 30 seconds until the shield runs out.
When the shield drops, let them clear the door.
Cipher will kill the lights and you can slip out in the darkness.
[Kinder] Shouldn't I help you with the clones first?
It won't be a problem. Just get ready.
You know, you're like everyone's favorite, right?
What?
The way you look, the things you could do,
people go crazy for it.
[soft music]
I didn't ask for this.
I-- I know.
But life is-- is hard out there.
A lot of people feel small and-- and powerless.
Different.
You make them feel stronger,
proud of who they are.
You know, Cipher, she likes you.
She does?
Stop smiling.
Ah.
Hey.
[clone laughing]
-I know you and I don't-- -Now.
[alarm sounding]
[tense music]
♪ Come here, boy ♪
♪ Let me holler at ya ♪
♪ I see you walking This way, way ♪
♪ But this is not What you think ♪
♪ You know I came here To slay ♪
♪ You got to see what I mean ♪
♪ Come here, boy ♪
♪ I got something To show you ♪
♪ Come here, boy ♪
♪ Lemme holler at ya ♪
♪ Come here, boy ♪
♪ I got something To show ya ♪
♪ Come here, boy ♪
♪ Let me holler at ya ♪
♪ You think you Met me before ♪
♪ Baby, that wasn't me ♪
[tense music]
[chuckles]
Can't be this easy.
[powers down]
-Hey. -Oh.
Who are you?
I am a clone co-- replicant.
A clone replicant? They make those?
Yeah, yeah.
What's your badge number
Four.
[clone] Hey, I'm four.
He says he's four
40.
Okay, okay, just-- just arrest me.
These are one size fits all.
I mean, I-- I could stitch 'em together,
but what is it that you normally do?
Oh, dude.
Sorry, Freddy.
I need to take your DNA.
You asshole!
Way stronger than I thought.
God!
Jesus.
[funky music]
♪ You know I've been A big fan... ♪
I like dancing.
Dancing is fun.
♪ Yeah, your band's Pretty tight ♪
I actually know this song.
You dance, too?
No, no, no, no.
I have to stay by this.
I said dance.
Oh, Jesus!
♪ I miss you like "Rain" ♪
♪ I miss you like "The Color Purple" ♪
Son of a bitch. What the hell is that?
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I needed your sauce to make the bruisers.
You were gonna juice me?!
Yes, I'm sorry.
But my record, my reputation.
I'm One Tank Frank.
♪ I don't miss you Like I miss Prince ♪
[music continues]
Please, please, please don't kill me.
-No, please. -I'm not gonna kill you.
-I'm trying to help you up. -You're not mad?
I'm pissed. And I'm definitely reporting this to HR.
-[Frank] Right. -But I'm not gonna hurt you.
-Get up. -Okay.
♪ Is just a hit away From a one hit wonder ♪
♪ Cashin' in all your fame ♪
♪ Forget my name And losing my number ♪
♪ I miss you like "Rain" ♪
♪ I miss you like "The Color Purple" ♪
♪ Like "1999" ♪
[grunts]
Oh! Sorry, Freddy.
But it's all for the greater good.
Oh.
-[gunshot] -♪ Don't miss you like a ♪
♪ I don't miss you Like I miss Prince ♪
That's the last of my ammo.
Well, there.
It's set. Now we wait.
He can do it, right?
It's a button.
How hard could it be?
[music continues]
♪ I don't miss you Like I miss Prince ♪
♪ No ♪
♪ Don't miss you like Prince ♪
[pounds]
♪ I miss you like "Rain" ♪
♪ I miss you like "The Color Purple" ♪
♪ Like "1999" ♪
♪ "Little Red Corvette" Doing circles ♪
♪ I miss you like "Let's Go Crazy" ♪
♪ I miss you like "Kiss" But I don't miss you like I
♪ Don't miss you like I Don't miss you like I ♪
♪ I don't miss you like I miss Prince ♪
That's new.
You know, I'm gonna come right out and say it.
I like it.
Yeah. Gotta love a bruiser.
[laughs] Diagnostic?
[clone] Buddy, we are 100% operational.
Say again?
[clone] I said we're fully activated and ready to serve.
[Frank] How are you doing that?
Whoa.
Hey, boss. Looking good.
How the hell did I miss that?
Which one of you is in charge of the walking?
Oh, we're a fully symbiotic team.
-Right, big guy? -Yeah.
Okay.
Well, um,
just get out there
and murder all the criminals please.
It would be our pleasure.
[clone] Have we had lunch yet?
You know, we're not gonna have time.
[computer beeping]
Oh, my God, he did it.
-[Brick] I knew it. -Ugh.
Brick, why don't you go ahead and get into uniform?
We make the switch, we'll have to move fast.
Um, do they make these for guys who use creatine?
[glass breaking]
-That's what I'm talking about. -[Fera screaming]
[tense music]
Well, boys, it was fun.
But I gotta get going.
-Aw! -Don't go.
-What? -Do you have to?
My twerk here is finished.
[tense music continues]
-[clone] Ow. -Ah!
[tense music continues]
-[cracks] -[Brick groans]
Weak bitch.
[clone] Ow!
Brick!
[gasps]
[gasping]
Fera!
[neck cracking]
[Brick] Hey, meat.
[gun powers up]
I'm gonna shoot you with this big gun now.
[gun humming]
[soft music]
[Brick] Are you okay?
Yeah.
Glad I got to dance with my prom date.
God, you're so weird, Brick.
Yeah. Come on.
Thanks buddy.
-Oh, Brick. -[groans]
Brick? Are you okay buddy?
-Hey, Cipher. -Yeah, yeah, Brick?
You're a good boss.
Porter was right.
Take care of that kid.
-He ain't as smart as me. -[laughs]
-[groans] -Nobody is, big guy.
[soft music]
Brick.
It's okay.
-[Cipher sobbing] -[computer beeping]
[computer beeping]
Worthless.
Oh, Freddy.
You said you wouldn't let me down.
You said you would do whatever it takes, but look.
Just look.
We just needed one more.
Oh.
I'm gonna have to move back in with my kids.
[sobbing]
[clone] Suspect located, moving in.
[tense music]
-Yes. -[gunshots]
Yes!
Oh, my God. You did it.
Oh, you sweet, sexy son of a bitch, you did it.
Oh!
I win.
One Tank Frank wins again.
[laughing]
I knew it the whole time.
[funky music]
That's a kill on Cipher.
Oh, my God.
We have confirmed kills on Cipher,
Brick, Fera, and Porter down to the wire.
I can't believe it.
Where's Kinder though?
It doesn't matter. Cops win.
One Tank Frank has done the impossible.
Seph, do you believe in miracles?
I've never seen anything like this in nine years ofCT360.
What an incredible episode.
One for the history books.
Oh, man, I am shaking, Seph.
I am literally shaking.
Is-- is this what multiple orgasms feel like?
-Sure. -[booing]
Standby as we show you all the highlights from today's episode.
We'll even go down to the killing floor
to get One Tank Frank's take on today's events
all coming up right after this commercial break.
[electronic music]
Hey, guys, it's me, Robert Nefari.
As we all know, my grandfather started this company
with one dream,
to install a soft serve ice cream machine
in every American home.
That was shortly followed by a second dream,
to solve a mysterious wave of diabetes,
an epidemic that took the country by storm.
We solved both of those problems at NEFARICORP
'cause we're still dreamers and we know you are, too.
Maybe it's that novel that you always wanted to finish
or a trip to the undersea ruins of Venice.
It just seems like work always gets in the way.
That's where our dreams meet yours.
Our replicant technology enables millions of people
to leave the drudgery of their boring lives
and workplaces behind
so they can do what truly inspires them,
eat ice cream nonstop
and then take medication directly after that.
Replicant technology from NEFARICORP,
turning replicants into repli-cans.
[bell dings]
[clones chatting]
-Hey, One Tank Frank. -Way to go, Frank.
[clones chatting]
Hey, guys, get a load lifter in here to move the big guy.
Don't be a hero.
Hey, hey, Sally gal How's it going?
Oh, God, here comes Mr. Big Bucks.
You got something for me?
I don't know why I even make that stupid bet with you every damn time.
Ah, don't be a sore loser.
I'm a big enough man to admit
that I was on the ropes on this one.
Hey, boss,
what should we do with the surviving clones?
-You new? -Yeah.
I was transferred over from Soft Serve last week.
Take 'em to reclamation.
Isn't that like a waste?
Can't you just, I don't know, wipe their minds?
[both laughing]
What, you want a Westworld situation?
-Juice 'em. -Juice 'em.
Okay. All right, let's go, guys.
New guys. Am I right?
Congratulations on the Bambino.
Thanks.
-[soft music] -[computer beeps]
[clones chatting]
[Frank] Hey, hey, great work today, guys.
[Cipher] What are we gonna do? I'm not ready to be juiced.
[Kinder] Stay calm. Wait for a distraction.
Seriously, I'm mean it. Team effort.
Collaborative art.
-Frank Grimes? -Yeah, hey, look, guys.
I'm sorry. No autographs, all right.
No, Frank, you're under arrest for the murder of Freddy Jones.
What? That's crazy.
I didn't murder anyone.
That's not what the security footage says.
Security footage? I delete-- I mean,
who would've access?
Murphy!
Frank, you have the right to remain silent.
Anything you think or say can and will
be used against you in a televised court.
What are you doing? Let go of me.
Frank, you have the right to soft serve ice cream.
If you refuse this right, a soft serve will be...
[Cipher] They seem pretty distracted to me.
[Kinder] Let's go, let's go.
[Frank] But I'm One Tank Frank!
And that wraps up this historic episode ofCrimeTime360 .
What a battle it was.
That's right.
With a combined kill total of 63,
the gang broke a new record today,
one that I don't think we'll see surpassed
in a long, long time.
And we saw our first super fan get his taste of the action.
Let's hope we find him soon.
From all of us here at the studio,
to all of you at home, thanks for watching.
Don't forget to like and subscribe
and tune in next week for another episode of
-CrimeTime360 . -CrimeTime360 .
[director] And we're clear.
[sighs]
[ice clinking]
[British accent] Ah! That was a total cock up.
[British accent] Can we get some bloody backup cameras next time?
I nearly lost my lunch with that body cam footage.
Hey, nice work though.
I thought you brought real energy to the--
Dale, give me a break.
What?
I'm not a PA anymore. Sod off me.
I can't pay you a compliment?
No, no you can't.
[sighs]
[birds chirping]
[gentle music]
It is gonna get dark.
We should probably find a new change of clothes
and maybe somewhere to rest.
I actually have a friend that lives around here.
He'll-- he'll definitely put us up.
Though I don't think we've actually met in person.
You okay? I...
feel like I'm-- I'm running on pure adrenaline.
Yeah, that was a-- a lot back there.
If you don't wanna talk about it,
we do not have to talk about it.
-I'm thinking. -Yeah?
You have a plan?
Starting to form one.
Does it end with killing Robert Nefari?
It does.
I'm in.
[upbeat music]
[Kinder] You know we're gonna need a spaceship, right?
["Vanilla" by Brian Brown]
♪ Hey, hey, hey, Hey, Mr. Ice Cream Man ♪
♪ We've been waiting all day ♪
♪ Why you take so long To come back this way ♪
♪ Had to re-up on the flavors And appreciate the favor ♪
♪ This ain't meant For everybody ♪
♪ What you need I got it, playa ♪
♪ Bask in the fact That I'm back ♪
♪ 'Cause they was robbin' Ya, woadie ♪
♪ Y'all held it down For the kid ♪
♪ Tho got some love I could show 'em ♪
♪ Heard the talk What's the hold up ♪
♪ Got some weight On your shoulders ♪
♪ I mean I could admit that ♪
♪ But who I'm telling's Important ♪
♪ Can't have every -- body In yo business these days ♪
♪ But you know me, Still on the move ♪
♪ Lil' buddy ain't much changed Hold up ♪
♪ Stepped in this thing, shorty, Choosin' looking curious ♪
♪ -- on bazooka, how my Chew it something serious ♪
♪ Think they -- with my dawgs And I, boy silly -- ♪
♪ We been 'bout it 'bout it ♪
♪ Ain't my fault you ain't Believe in this man ♪
♪ We've been waiting all day ♪
♪ Why you take so long To come back this way ♪
♪ Had to re-up on the flavors And appreciate the favor ♪
♪ This ain't meant For everybody ♪
♪ What you need I got it, player ♪
♪ Sake dat -- Watch yourself ♪
♪ See these shoes, -- watch your step ♪
♪ Ain't the one to Cause a scene but -- ♪
♪ Just grabbed them Off the shelf ♪
♪ Had to jump -- For the one time ♪
♪ Probably had A show or something ♪
♪ Know who they came To see every time ♪
♪ Anytime I keeps it jumpin' ♪
♪ Only want Treesha smoke Third cousin rolling ♪
♪ Family pack, Candace Parker, that blunt ♪
♪ Rocky top in there That's for Pat Summit
♪ Wilma Rudolph run it Earn my John Merritt ♪
♪ On the way to the bands From Jefferson ♪
♪ They gonna feel this look ♪
♪ Think they -- with my dawgs And I, boy silly -- ♪
♪ We've been 'Bout it, 'bout it ♪
♪ Ain't my fault you Ain't believe in this man ♪
♪ We've been waiting all day ♪
♪ Why you take so long To come back this way ♪
♪ Had to re-up on the flavors And appreciate the favor ♪
♪ This ain't meant For everybody ♪
♪ What you need I got it player ♪
♪ I got the unh That's how you do that dere ♪
♪ Quit that talking Like a Saint fan ♪
♪ Asking who dat dere ♪
♪ Might hit a two-step With a 40 ♪
♪ Looking just like Your uncle ♪
♪ Birkenstocks Double socks ♪
♪ No we don't want no trouble ♪
♪ One more time ♪
♪ That's how you do that dere ♪
♪ Quit that talking Like a Saint fan ♪
♪ Asking who dat dere ♪
♪ Might hit the two-step With a 40 ♪
♪ Looking just like Your uncle ♪
♪ Birkenstocks Double socks ♪
♪ No we don't want no trouble ♪
♪ I'm on that -- ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ FunkyTenn ohana -- ♪
♪ Out east the motherland ♪
♪ Northside, what up ♪
♪ Southside, what up ♪
[music fades]
[clone giggling]