1 00:00:06,923 --> 00:00:08,758 PAT: Wazzup? 2 00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:12,470 PETER: Ah, Mr. Shannon! Hello to you, good sir. 3 00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:14,222 PAT: Hello to you, good sir. 4 00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:16,099 Hello good sir to you as well, 5 00:00:16,181 --> 00:00:18,018 -uh, good sir. -PAT: Hey, Adam. 6 00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:19,894 Hi, Pat. 7 00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:21,438 Now, would you care to know who's got 8 00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:22,939 the smallest dick in Hollywood? 9 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,191 Oh, yes, kind sir, I very much would. 10 00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:27,444 It's gotta be one of the kids from Stranger Things, right? 11 00:00:27,485 --> 00:00:28,778 PAT: W... what? 12 00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:30,321 PETER: He's an Oscar-winning director. 13 00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:32,490 I'll send photos. You'll need to zoom in. 14 00:00:32,573 --> 00:00:33,950 Great. You have a second? 15 00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:35,035 -PETER: Sure. -Good. 16 00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:36,119 DAG: Dan, live situation. 17 00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:37,829 Pat is making moves in the artist village. 18 00:00:37,912 --> 00:00:39,456 Repeat, fox in the chicken coop. 19 00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:40,665 PAT: Okay, pal, listen up. 20 00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:42,167 Centurios 2 has a little problem. 21 00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:44,461 -Little, uh, little plot hole. -PETER: Oh, great. 22 00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:46,629 I love it when other people's films are in trouble. 23 00:00:46,671 --> 00:00:48,131 -Oh, me too. -(LAUGHS) 24 00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:50,800 It's fucking awesome. I know, I know. 25 00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:53,428 But sadly though, this one's my responsibility. 26 00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:54,804 Anyway, to fix the plot hole... 27 00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:56,181 -Bryson? -I'll take it from here. 28 00:00:56,264 --> 00:00:57,932 They need a man who can see into the future. 29 00:00:58,016 --> 00:01:00,226 Or maybe one who causes earthquakes 30 00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:02,395 and has slightly above average strength, right? 31 00:01:03,688 --> 00:01:06,066 Hey, guys. What are we missing? 32 00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:08,693 Anita, we're taking Peter for a day of shooting. Hmm? 33 00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:09,944 Absolutely, Pat. Hundred percent. 34 00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:11,821 -Whatever you need. -PAT: Good. There's more. 35 00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:13,698 Can I get a private word in two? 36 00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:16,576 Bryson, find me a space. 37 00:01:16,658 --> 00:01:18,620 -(PETER CHUCKLES) -DANIEL: What is happening? 38 00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:20,330 Payback, Daniel. The reckoning. 39 00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:22,874 We are being punished for Eric's sins. 40 00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:28,129 Oh, what a shame, number one. 41 00:01:28,170 --> 00:01:32,509 Old man's off to the big leagues for a day. Adios, cuntos. 42 00:01:34,051 --> 00:01:36,346 Bye, Peter. Break a leg. 43 00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:39,223 He's such a good actor. 44 00:01:40,725 --> 00:01:42,435 As are you. 45 00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:47,190 ♪ (UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 46 00:01:58,158 --> 00:01:59,869 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 47 00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:02,706 ANITA: Okay, you got your pound of flesh, Pat. 48 00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:04,833 -So, uh, we square? -PAT: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 49 00:02:04,874 --> 00:02:07,669 Your director kamikazed himself into our tentpole. 50 00:02:07,752 --> 00:02:09,545 I will take whatever the fuck I want. 51 00:02:09,628 --> 00:02:11,131 Shane hates it when his movies fight. 52 00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:13,758 Obviously, I'd like to shout at Eric till my jaw pops, 53 00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:16,928 but sadly Scott Rudin fucked it for all of us, so I can't. 54 00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:18,304 Shane's not happy with you, Anita. 55 00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:21,224 I lost control of my director. Whatever you need. 56 00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:23,560 There is one other thing. Some product placement 57 00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:24,853 I want you to include in your movie. 58 00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:26,938 Sure. What's the product? Uh, Rolex or-- 59 00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:28,565 -Chinese farming machinery. -Chinese farming machinery. 60 00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:31,317 Oh. Um, left field. That... Was not expecting that. 61 00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:33,028 -Shane's under pressure. -But thriving. 62 00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:35,447 Domestic box office is going down and down. 63 00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:36,948 China's coming back. 64 00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:39,868 But China wants a favor to release our movies. 65 00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:42,412 -A reach-around. -A reach-around? Of China? 66 00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:44,748 That's... (CHUCKLES) ...a big old reach-around. 67 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,666 -It's a huge reach-around. -Hmm. 68 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,752 The Central Propaganda Committee would like it known 69 00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,879 their farming machinery is the greatest in the world. 70 00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:51,963 And I happen to agree with them. 71 00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:53,715 A hundred percent. Fuck John Deere. 72 00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:56,051 Sure, but in terms of how farming machinery 73 00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:57,177 might sit in Tecto, 74 00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:59,095 a superhero movie largely set in space-- 75 00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:01,473 Anita, I once got flavored rubbers into a TV movie 76 00:03:01,556 --> 00:03:03,725 about the Exxon Valdez oil spill. 77 00:03:03,808 --> 00:03:05,101 -Wow. -But now, 78 00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:06,603 I leave the detail to the artists. 79 00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,813 Leave it to the artists to sell the tractors. 80 00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:11,941 Your movie, Anita, it's on our shit list. 81 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,193 Get me my tractor shot, 82 00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:15,320 or Peter won't be the last thing I fucking take. 83 00:03:15,403 --> 00:03:16,488 -You got it? -Copy. 84 00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:19,240 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a flight to Cleveland. 85 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,243 They're letting me blow up a freeway. 86 00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:24,245 (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Super cool. 87 00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:30,460 Here is a brochure of Chinese farming machinery. 88 00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:33,630 A multiverse, but of Chinese farming machinery. 89 00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:37,466 (ANITA SIGHS) 90 00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:41,262 -♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(MONITOR BEEPING) 91 00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:44,599 (MONITOR FLATLINES) 92 00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:47,560 (SOBS) Oh, Angela. 93 00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:51,106 (WAILING) Oh, Angela! 94 00:03:53,274 --> 00:03:54,776 Angela! 95 00:03:58,279 --> 00:04:00,323 -Oh, Angela. -(STEPH SNIFFLES) 96 00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,035 ADAM: Angela! 97 00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:06,996 (MUTTERING) Jesus Christ. 98 00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:08,415 -And cut. -♪ (SOMBER MUSIC STOPS) ♪ 99 00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,250 And respectfully, we've cut there. 100 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,168 -(BELL RINGING) -(CREW CHATTERING) 101 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,837 DAG: Well, that's depressing. 102 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:17,048 Yeah, well, guess what? Between us... (CLICKS TONGUE) 103 00:04:17,132 --> 00:04:19,801 -Circumcision. -What? Circumcision? 104 00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:21,720 No, it's being cut. The scene's a cut. 105 00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:23,847 Why are we shooting something that we're gonna cut? 106 00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:25,515 Sugar cube for the donkey. 107 00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:27,976 Eric wants it, and he is the "director." 108 00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:29,853 -What was that? -What was what? 109 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:32,313 You said director in air quotes. 110 00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:34,983 -No, I didn't. -Almost there. One more. 111 00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:36,151 Eric, honestly, I think we got that. 112 00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:38,069 Listen, this scene is the beating heart of my movie. 113 00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:39,988 This is me, like a samurai, 114 00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:41,823 opening my gut to tell the people. 115 00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:43,199 Yeah. We're going again. 116 00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:45,034 -Sorry, sir, go on. -Yeah, also last take, 117 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,703 fruit bowl was fuckity wank. It won't work. 118 00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:49,497 Stop fussing about the fucking tangerines, Stephanie. 119 00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,709 Super, super important that we get this scene 120 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:53,877 absolutely perfect. 121 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,378 -Right, Dan? -DANIEL: Hmm. 122 00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:59,299 Have you heard what they call me after the golf cart thing? 123 00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:02,344 "The badass Wes Anderson." 124 00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:04,763 I hope it doesn't stick. Can you imagine? 125 00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:06,890 I wouldn't worry. I don't think anyone's calling you that. 126 00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:08,391 Maybe I like how it feels. 127 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,561 Swinging the dick around. Ding dong. 128 00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:12,937 Yeah, swing it around. 129 00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:15,440 Use it as a fork. You can do what you want. 130 00:05:15,523 --> 00:05:17,400 -I'd like to fire the sound man. -Okay, you can't do that. 131 00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:19,069 ERIC: He rolls his eyes at my scene. 132 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,737 Plus, he's wearing the indoor scarf. 133 00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:23,281 I thought only directors wear the indoor scarf. Is he mocking me? 134 00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:24,949 DANIEL: Why don't we put him somewhere you can't see him? 135 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,576 ERIC: Yes, hide the man. 136 00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:28,328 -Now show me the cargo bay. -Oh. 137 00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:29,871 Bring up Eric's cargo bay. 138 00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:33,582 So, this is the latest render of the cargo bay. 139 00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:35,001 -(COMPUTER PINGS) -DANIEL: Uh... 140 00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:36,711 ERIC: Daniel? 141 00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,048 DANIEL: All right, screen team, I did have it, 142 00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:41,966 but what I'm looking at right now is not the cargo bay. 143 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:44,511 It's Darren's wife and his three children 144 00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:46,262 and their weird medieval haircuts. 145 00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:49,474 Eric. Sir, cannot wait to see your hospital scene. 146 00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:51,226 Somberly excited to see her die. 147 00:05:51,308 --> 00:05:52,394 ERIC: Thank you. 148 00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:55,814 ANITA: Why does he think small children 149 00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:57,607 want to see a sad lady die? 150 00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:59,484 Yeah. Agreed. We should cut the scene. 151 00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:01,361 -(CHUCKLES) -I spoke with Pat. 152 00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:05,115 We have to swallow some additional product placement. 153 00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:06,950 What, one of his janky product deals? 154 00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,118 Oh. For the record, 155 00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:10,662 not everybody who drove a Coyote Turbo died in a fire. 156 00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:13,665 DANIEL: It's not my first rodeo. 157 00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:15,542 I helped integrate paprika Popchips 158 00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,335 into Thunderon's funeral. What's the brand? 159 00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:18,670 Established name. 160 00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,463 I took a look at the product catalog, 161 00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:23,800 and I think the best fit for us in terms of storytelling 162 00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:25,135 is the YTO 330. 163 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,470 Sports car? 'Cause Tecto's already got a car. 164 00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:29,014 Mm, this is more off-road. 165 00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:32,058 Off-road, uh, four-wheeled conveyance. 166 00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:33,351 Rugged. 167 00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:42,485 -Th-- That's a tractor. -Very, very reliable tractor. 168 00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:44,738 Judge's commendation at the Beijing Tractor Expo. 169 00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:47,115 -Fair play, tractor. -Fucking great tractor. 170 00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:49,159 It's a tractor with bags of character. 171 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,326 We're in deep space. 172 00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:52,203 How the fuck are we gonna integrate a tractor? 173 00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:54,205 Look, Aaron Sorkin's locked in a room in Burbank 174 00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:56,332 working on the Turkey Dinosaurs movie for Pat. 175 00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:58,001 -I'll throw it to him. -Eric won't like it. 176 00:06:58,043 --> 00:06:59,544 He's a former ad guy. On the Reddits, 177 00:06:59,627 --> 00:07:01,171 they still call him "The Cheese Man of Dusseldorf." 178 00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:02,881 -It haunts him. -Sorry, no can care. 179 00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:04,674 Shane wants us to tickle up China. 180 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:05,884 Look, it is not just us. 181 00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:08,178 Centurios 2 took the Forager model, 182 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,846 which has the excavation bucket 183 00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:11,139 -and the hedge trimmer? -Hedge trimmer. 184 00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:12,515 No way. It just won't make sense. 185 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,517 God, imagine if something in the movie didn't make sense. 186 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,311 ANITA: Look, this is not a drill, Dan. 187 00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:19,522 Pat's unhappy, and I need a win. We both do. 188 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:22,359 I am offering whatever you want, 189 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:25,737 in terms of... in terms of directing. 190 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,202 Okay. 191 00:07:32,284 --> 00:07:35,622 All right, I'll talk to Eric. You'll get your product shot. 192 00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:37,540 Thank you. 193 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,252 It's so red and adorable. 194 00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:43,713 Really hope you figure it out. 195 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:46,549 Be great to give a boost to the Chinese Communist Party. 196 00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:48,593 Okay, cool. You're doing your thing. 197 00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:50,261 Peck, peck, pecking away. 198 00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:52,097 Look, it's a two-second shot of a tractor. 199 00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:53,390 And Dickens was product, 200 00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:54,933 and Shakespeare moved units, okay? 201 00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:56,768 The biz is the biz is the biz. 202 00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:59,187 Six hundred gram organic rotisserie chicken for Adam. 203 00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:01,523 Great. So now I'm a chicken butler. 204 00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:03,441 For the People's Republic of Chicken. 205 00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:06,528 Really glad I did that degree in history of art. 206 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,613 Chicken traveling! 207 00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,158 I have your chicken. 208 00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,035 I feel like a zookeeper, 209 00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:16,037 throwing protein at you every four hours. 210 00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:19,290 Yeah. It's... I just gotta maintain nonstop. 211 00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:21,668 It's like I-- I'm only as valuable as, 212 00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:23,044 as my lean muscle mass. 213 00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:25,005 And it's like I'm a piece of veal. It's just... 214 00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:28,508 Very morose. You still in character 215 00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:29,676 for the scene that won't get cut? 216 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:30,802 ADAM: Can I ask you a question? 217 00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:33,096 'Cause this child on Reddit says I don't blink enough 218 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,140 and it's creepy, and now I'm in my head about it? 219 00:08:35,222 --> 00:08:36,474 How's this? 220 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,352 DAG: Mm. Great, great level. 221 00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:41,604 You're blinking like a motherfucker. 222 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,606 -Yeah. That-- Yeah. -DAG: Yeah. 223 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:46,943 That's what I thought. I mean... (SIGHS) 224 00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:49,904 I just don't get it. Why-- Why don't they want me? 225 00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:52,782 Centurios 2. Why'd they take Peter over me? 226 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,159 Like, why don't they-- 227 00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:56,786 Like, what is it about me that they... 228 00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,663 What-- Do you like me? 229 00:08:58,747 --> 00:08:59,956 I don't think you want me poking around 230 00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:00,957 in your noggin, seriously. 231 00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:02,459 No, you can come on in. Door's open. 232 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,419 Ding dong. (CHUCKLES) Say hello. 233 00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:05,462 -DAG: Um... -What is it? 234 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:06,796 Honestly, Adam, 235 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,632 and I-- I actually think that you'll find comfort in this, 236 00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:12,344 I don't have one opinion on you. Not at all. 237 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,305 Well, I-- Well, y-- you-- 238 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,015 Sorry. That's why you're so great. 239 00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:18,641 -Oh. -DAG: When I'm watching you, 240 00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:20,518 I'm not thinking about anything. 241 00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:23,605 And it's like my brain's having a little rest. 242 00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:26,816 Um, you're kind of like a sexless... 243 00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:28,818 in a good way, because it's non-threatening... 244 00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:30,612 potato. 245 00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:34,741 -"Sexless potato." -Mm. 246 00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:36,659 God, you have confidence to say that 247 00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:38,578 to my actual fucking face. (LAUGHS) 248 00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,163 In front of everyone. 249 00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:41,664 Big Dag energy. 250 00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:44,876 Do you mind having second lunch with me? 251 00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:48,046 I need a favor. What are you, paleo, keto? 252 00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:49,172 Dag. 253 00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:50,715 No, no. What, what do you wanna eat? 254 00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:52,008 Surprise me. 255 00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:53,510 -ADAM: Okay. Great. -Yeah. 256 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:54,886 I'm looking forward to it. 257 00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:57,931 (SIGHS) 258 00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:02,352 Okay, product placement option one. And cue vehicle. 259 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:03,853 CREW: (OVER RADIO) Copy that. Cueing vehicle. 260 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,772 (TRACTOR ENGINE STARTS) 261 00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:09,401 (AUTOMATED VOICE SPEAKING MANDARIN) 262 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:13,238 (AUTOMATED VOICE REPEATS MANDARIN) 263 00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:17,075 (AUTOMATED VOICE REPEATS MANDARIN) 264 00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:20,745 (AUTOMATED VOICE REPEATS MANDARIN) 265 00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:23,581 (AUTOMATED VOICE STOPS) 266 00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:26,459 Thoughts? 267 00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:29,546 In terms of how we integrate it into the plot, 268 00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:31,214 um, um, in the story, 269 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:36,386 um, I guess the story is, um, a rice farmer from China's... 270 00:10:36,428 --> 00:10:39,389 accidentally driven through a wormhole in... 271 00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:41,099 It's the worst thing I've ever seen. 272 00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:43,476 Or option two. 273 00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:47,105 So, option two. 274 00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:50,775 ERIC: Why would there be a Chinese tractor 275 00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:52,652 in the Sector Nine cargo bay? 276 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,656 STEPH: Maybe an agricultural show nearby? 277 00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:58,408 Country fair in a local quadrant? 278 00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,744 -Smart. -A country fair in deep space? 279 00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:02,829 Yeah. Hogs, lambs, goats. Space cheese. 280 00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,289 Fucking space cheese? 281 00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:06,624 I give up. I literally can't do anything right. 282 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:12,255 -(FOLDER THUDS) -Also, China would like a line. 283 00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:15,091 Obviously, we can push back, but they are, not relevant, 284 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:18,470 but they are a global nuclear superpower. So... 285 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,264 Which line? 286 00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:23,933 "Reliable. Buyable. Undeniable. 287 00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:26,019 It's the best tractor in the galaxy." 288 00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:27,937 Uh-huh. 289 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,523 And you want those actual words in my literal movie? 290 00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:32,484 It's a small statement of fact. 291 00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:36,905 ERIC: Daniel, I can't. 292 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:43,953 Eric, there is, uh, another option. 293 00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:48,375 -The hospital scene. -My dying wife? 294 00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:50,126 Truth is, the studio want to cut it, okay, 295 00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:51,836 'cause they're scared by the power of emotions. 296 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,923 But put the tractor in the scene, 297 00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:56,341 and then they can't cut it. 298 00:11:57,217 --> 00:12:00,136 The only way you're swallowing their load 299 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,554 is if they swallow yours. 300 00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:03,431 -A load for a load. -Mm-hmm. 301 00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:07,310 Plus, Centurios 2 has the Forager model, 302 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:10,397 which has the excavator bucket. 303 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,483 Obviously I can shoot a tractor. I can shoot the shit out of it. 304 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,652 Oh, yeah. Mate, I've seen your Daewoo commercial. 305 00:12:15,694 --> 00:12:16,695 Seminal. 306 00:12:19,114 --> 00:12:21,157 -So, we good? -(SMACKS LIPS) 307 00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:31,084 DANIEL: By the way, um, Milo the sound guy didn't wanna move, 308 00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:32,669 so we're setting up a sight screen 309 00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:34,462 -so you won't have to see him. -ERIC: Mm. 310 00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:38,049 DAG: We made him remove his indoor scarf. 311 00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:40,010 He was wearing it 'cause he has tonsillitis. 312 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:42,637 Would you like to keep it as a trophy? 313 00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:43,722 Yes. 314 00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:45,515 Is he looking? 315 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,350 I have the feeling I've antagonized him. 316 00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:50,020 DAG: Oh, yeah, he's looking. Lasers coming out of his eyes. 317 00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:52,814 Is there nowhere else he can go? Outside? 318 00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:54,899 Like... a van outside? 319 00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:56,067 Not in a horrible way, but... 320 00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:58,403 Yeah, no, sure. Not-- Not a horrible van. 321 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:00,655 DAG: Okay. I think-- 322 00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:02,365 I think we should probably kill the video wall, 323 00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:04,951 ‘cause that's personal and just a bit sad. 324 00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:06,870 DANIEL: (CLEARS THROAT) Screen team. 325 00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:10,373 I've currently got a slideshow of Darren trying on some chinos. 326 00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:12,042 DAG: Nobody look. 327 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,668 Nobody look at the video wall. (CHUCKLES) 328 00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:16,546 Even though I'm drawing your attention to it. 329 00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:20,967 Deadline once called me a cusping wave. Ready to break. 330 00:13:21,593 --> 00:13:23,303 And I'm... 331 00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:26,264 I'm on like a mission to find what's missing. 332 00:13:26,348 --> 00:13:28,391 And like, I was talking to this person, 333 00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:30,352 it's a famous person, Jonah Hill, 334 00:13:30,435 --> 00:13:33,480 and he said I should explore fecal transplants. 335 00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:36,066 -Okay. -So, what I'm basically, 336 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,984 what I'm basically saying, Dag, is... 337 00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,947 can you do me a solid? 338 00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:46,493 (STRAINS) 339 00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:50,038 Oh. 340 00:13:50,789 --> 00:13:52,290 -My shit. -Yes, exactly, yes. 341 00:13:52,374 --> 00:13:54,668 A stool transplant. And you're the perfect demographic for me, 342 00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:55,752 perfect, so yes. 343 00:13:55,794 --> 00:13:59,255 I might like to, you know, feast on your biome. 344 00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:00,590 DAG: Got it. 345 00:14:00,632 --> 00:14:02,801 And how does that work, the transplant? 346 00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:05,428 I don't like... in your mouth? 347 00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:06,971 In my mouth? No, no. 348 00:14:07,055 --> 00:14:09,599 -DAG: Not yet. -Um... (LAUGHS) 349 00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:12,977 Yeah, NDA. We're gonna sign an NDA, a veil of secrecy, 350 00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:14,646 and then my team will take a sample 351 00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:16,731 and see if you are viable. 352 00:14:16,815 --> 00:14:19,401 Oh. (CHUCKLES) My stools are viable. 353 00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:20,652 -(ADAM LAUGHS) -Yeah. 354 00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:22,612 -Don't you worry about that. -Yeah. 355 00:14:22,654 --> 00:14:24,280 Okay, yeah. I'm in. 356 00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:27,617 But I want an executive producer credit. 357 00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:29,452 Absolutely not. 358 00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,955 One step at a time, okay? One step at a time. 359 00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:34,165 -But I'll drop you a line. -Okay. 360 00:14:34,249 --> 00:14:36,418 -ADAM: Thanks. -It's a pleasure doing business for you. 361 00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:38,336 -For me? (LAUGHS) -(LAUGHS) 362 00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:39,629 Don't tell anyone. 363 00:14:39,671 --> 00:14:41,548 -DAG: Why would I? -Yeah. 364 00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:44,926 ♪ (FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 365 00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:47,804 -No problem. -MILO: The love of God! 366 00:14:47,846 --> 00:14:49,139 Can I at least have my scarf back? 367 00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:50,974 JAZ: Yeah, I'll look into it. Okay, text me your lunch order. 368 00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:52,100 Cheers. 369 00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:56,646 -Emergency dialogue fix. -What? 370 00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:59,691 Dialogue has been Sorkinized. (OVER MIC) We are rehearsing. 371 00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:02,152 And now try the new line, please, Adam. 372 00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:03,987 But really, only if you can find it, yeah? 373 00:15:04,029 --> 00:15:05,155 -Okay. -ERIC: And... 374 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:06,281 Just one sec. 375 00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:08,324 I got it. 376 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:11,161 And... action. 377 00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:14,039 -♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ -(SOBS) Angela. 378 00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:17,751 (MONITOR FLATLINES) 379 00:15:21,546 --> 00:15:22,547 Tractors... 380 00:15:23,715 --> 00:15:26,634 turning the soil. Reliable... 381 00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:29,387 undeniable tractors. 382 00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:33,183 -♪ (SOMBER MUSIC STOPS) ♪ -Okay, he's not saying that line. 383 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,351 Okay, cut the line. 384 00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:35,727 Other than that, I think it works. 385 00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:37,896 Compromise. 386 00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:40,357 Everyone's a winner slash loser. Told you I could execute. 387 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:43,902 "The Executioner" of this artform that you love. 388 00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:45,737 Checks to shoot, please. 389 00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:49,616 FYI, I may need to dash away on some very important business. 390 00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:53,495 I'm trying to produce something for Adam. I'm his new producer. 391 00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:55,830 Dan, Peter's returned from his Centurios cameo. 392 00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:57,290 All right, great. Can you get him and Mollusk Man 393 00:15:57,374 --> 00:15:58,708 ready for the next set-up? 394 00:15:58,750 --> 00:16:01,878 JAZ: We might have a continuity issue. 395 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:05,799 ♪ (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING SOFTLY) ♪ 396 00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:07,759 -Peter? -Oh, hello. 397 00:16:07,842 --> 00:16:09,844 I had the most wonderful time. 398 00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:11,304 Peter, have you been sprayed? 399 00:16:11,388 --> 00:16:13,848 Yes, I have. I can't remember why. 400 00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:17,769 Uh, wasn't listening. Plot reasons, one imagines. 401 00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:19,270 Peter's been sprayed. 402 00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,774 -Like a dog? -Sprayed. 403 00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:25,819 PETER: They've got the most incredible caterers over there. 404 00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:28,905 Do you know, they put truffle into arancini now? 405 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:31,408 Makeup's saying they can't remove it without breaking skin. 406 00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:32,742 They've had a go. 407 00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:35,245 I've been getting rubbed off for the past hour. 408 00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:36,287 Wonderful joke, Peter, thank you. 409 00:16:36,371 --> 00:16:38,873 Someone "blue" me. Also tinted my skin. 410 00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:41,626 Okay, let's send Peter home before he innuendoes himself. 411 00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:45,255 And off I fuck for treacle pud on the beanbag. 412 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:47,132 Ah, the actor's life! 413 00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:50,385 -Auf weidersehen, cunts. -Bye, Peter. Have a lovely time. 414 00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:54,973 The crane pushes very slowly onto Adam. 415 00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:56,433 DANIEL: Slow push. I'll let Horst know. 416 00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,351 ERIC: Slow and beautiful, yes? Like my scene. 417 00:16:58,435 --> 00:16:59,602 Eyebrows coming back nicely. 418 00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:00,979 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 419 00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:02,731 So, how's things? How's married life? 420 00:17:02,814 --> 00:17:04,482 Oh, I wouldn't know, sadly. 421 00:17:04,566 --> 00:17:06,568 Had to miss the honeymoon to be here, but, uh... 422 00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:08,569 Right, right. I'm sure she understands. 423 00:17:08,611 --> 00:17:10,446 -She's probably great. -Oh, yeah. Oh, she gets it. 424 00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:13,032 Yeah. T-- Totally get-- You know, she doesn't get it. 425 00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:15,326 She's devastated, and she's not returning my calls. 426 00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:18,079 -And it's-- it's really sad. -(SIGHS) Right. 427 00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:19,914 God. 428 00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:23,335 Yeah, I'm having a bit of strife myself, actually. 429 00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:25,086 Oh, sorry to hear that. 430 00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:27,756 Yep. Sometimes the people we end up with are malignant, 431 00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:29,632 narcissistic, arrogant shitheads. 432 00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:32,302 -...like a fraction slower. -RUFUS: Mm. 433 00:17:32,344 --> 00:17:35,138 -Well, that's show biz, folks. -Yes. Yes, it is. 434 00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:36,598 (ROLL-UP DOOR CLANGING) 435 00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:38,600 (AUTOMATED VOICE 2 SPEAKING MANDARIN) 436 00:17:38,641 --> 00:17:39,684 -Sorry? -♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 437 00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:41,978 Sorry, sorry. What the fuck is this now? 438 00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:44,773 It was communicated to Centurios 2 that we had 439 00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:46,983 successfully integrated the product into our film. 440 00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:48,985 So they thought we could also take theirs. 441 00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:50,695 Daniel? A second tractor? 442 00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:53,239 Their feeling is, uh, we already have one tractor, 443 00:17:53,323 --> 00:17:54,366 so what's another tractor? 444 00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:56,159 It's got more things than our tractor. 445 00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:57,243 It's even more tractor. 446 00:17:57,327 --> 00:17:59,496 Two tractors? This is my death scene! 447 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,373 It's not a fucking piece of farming pornography. 448 00:18:01,456 --> 00:18:04,334 Having had a chance to reflect, their director just feels 449 00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,670 -really strongly about China. -Oh, really? Does he now? 450 00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:08,171 Guess what? I feel strongly about China. 451 00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:10,423 But apparently, he feels really strongly. 452 00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:12,008 Oh, that's so fucking paternalistic. 453 00:18:12,050 --> 00:18:13,843 Straight White guy suddenly really cares 454 00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:16,388 -about poor old backward China. -I really care about it. 455 00:18:16,471 --> 00:18:18,014 I-- I do care about it a lot. 456 00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:19,766 Well, exactly, Eric cares about it, but in the right way. 457 00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:21,518 Calm down. We all hate or love China 458 00:18:21,559 --> 00:18:23,228 the same correct amount. Who the fuck cares? 459 00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:25,063 -Amnesty International. -Our corporate partners. 460 00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:27,357 Asshole! He wants to destroy my film. 461 00:18:27,399 --> 00:18:29,442 -Send it back. Send it back. -Uh, do not send it back! 462 00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:31,111 -Do not send it back. -(AUTOMATED VOICE 2 SPEAKING MANDARIN) 463 00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:32,696 Oh my God, this is so ugly. 464 00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:35,198 Apparently, their director is thinking of going public with his feelings. 465 00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:37,992 And his opinion is, basically... (MOUTHS) ...China. 466 00:18:38,076 --> 00:18:41,329 Oh, yeah? Mine too. Fuck it. Fuck China. 467 00:18:41,371 --> 00:18:42,539 -Hey... -I will say it first. 468 00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:44,165 Who wants to hear it? 469 00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:46,501 -No, Eric. No. Whoa. -(MIC TURNS ON) 470 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,546 Fuck China. Yeah? 471 00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:51,548 Fuck China! 472 00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:54,509 Fuck dim sums. Fuck finger traps. 473 00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:56,886 Fuck Mulan. Fuck fortune cookies. 474 00:18:56,928 --> 00:18:59,556 Fuck sweet sour. Fuck Peking duck. 475 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:04,644 Fuck silk. Fuck ying. Fuck yang. Eric say fuck Confucius. 476 00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:09,190 -Thank you. -You happy? 477 00:19:09,232 --> 00:19:10,942 -I'm a big man. -♪ (TENSE ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 478 00:19:11,026 --> 00:19:14,529 I'm an IMAX man. I'm a very wide screen man. 479 00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:16,948 -Yeah. -Fuck the pandas. 480 00:19:18,116 --> 00:19:19,534 Glad they can't reproduce. 481 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:22,996 (BREATHES DEEPLY) 482 00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:25,290 ERIC: Send them both back to Centurios. 483 00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:28,460 (AUTOMATED VOICES SPEAKING MANDARIN) 484 00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:31,629 (AUTOMATED VOICES REPEATING MANDARIN) 485 00:19:32,714 --> 00:19:37,093 No, no. No tractors. Xan said no tractors. 486 00:19:37,177 --> 00:19:39,512 (AUTOMATED VOICES REPEATING MANDARIN) 487 00:19:41,264 --> 00:19:42,807 All right. (EXHALES) We need to shoot. 488 00:19:42,891 --> 00:19:45,185 Steph, can you find out when Eric's ready to rejoin, please? 489 00:19:45,268 --> 00:19:46,478 He'll come out when he's hungry. 490 00:19:46,561 --> 00:19:47,604 I know. 491 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:50,231 Guys! Stop watching poker. 492 00:19:50,482 --> 00:19:51,524 Adam. 493 00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:53,401 Hey. 494 00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:54,944 -When you get a second. -What? 495 00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:56,029 It is done. 496 00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:59,115 I have undertaken my business. 497 00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:00,867 (LAUGHS) What? 498 00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:02,494 In your trailer. 499 00:20:02,577 --> 00:20:04,746 I've done a very ambitious production. 500 00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:06,081 -Ooh. -(CHUCKLES) 501 00:20:06,831 --> 00:20:08,500 I've done a shit. (LAUGHS) 502 00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:10,835 You shit in my trailer? 503 00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:13,463 I thought that's what you wanted. 504 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,840 ADAM: No. No, I have a specialist 505 00:20:15,924 --> 00:20:17,801 and he puts it in a sealed bag and you're supposed 506 00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:20,553 to do the WhatsApp questionnaire. What? 507 00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:21,805 Oh, I've done it wrong. 508 00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:24,140 Yeah. You shit in my trailer, dude. 509 00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:28,478 Oh, no, Dag. You didn't. You mucky little pup. 510 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:29,688 -What's happening? -No. 511 00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:30,939 Daniel, don't shout at her, 512 00:20:31,022 --> 00:20:32,565 but she's done a shit in Adam's trailer. 513 00:20:32,649 --> 00:20:35,318 Sorry, Dag, what? Was it... 514 00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:37,320 I mean, tell me it was at least in the toilet. 515 00:20:37,362 --> 00:20:40,156 ADAM: (COUGHING) NDA. NDA. 516 00:20:40,198 --> 00:20:42,992 Oh, what have I done that for? 517 00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:45,662 STEPH: I think someone needs to say sorry. 518 00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:48,832 Adam, I'm sorry for doing a poo in your trailer. 519 00:20:48,873 --> 00:20:51,501 -What the fuck happened? -How do you know? 520 00:20:51,543 --> 00:20:53,420 -It's in fucking Variety. -DAG: I'm sorry, what? 521 00:20:53,503 --> 00:20:55,213 How can Variety know already? 522 00:20:55,296 --> 00:20:58,133 Shane is monitoring, and he is deeply, deeply concerned. 523 00:20:58,174 --> 00:21:00,010 Shane knows? 524 00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:02,512 -Why is this happening to me? -Eric, sir. Sorry. 525 00:21:02,554 --> 00:21:05,515 Have you, um, declared war on China? 526 00:21:05,557 --> 00:21:06,850 Not as far as I'm aware. 527 00:21:06,891 --> 00:21:09,227 "Did Eric Bouchard Just Declare War on China?" 528 00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:10,562 Oh, thank God! That's the article. 529 00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:12,522 -ANITA: Did you go public? -What is happening, Daniel? 530 00:21:12,564 --> 00:21:14,190 No idea. I'm just panicking in real time like you. 531 00:21:14,232 --> 00:21:16,067 Shane's schedule does not allow a window for war. 532 00:21:16,151 --> 00:21:18,194 Maybe the sound guy leaked it. 533 00:21:18,236 --> 00:21:19,529 You know, the man you put into a van? 534 00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:22,198 Major problem. Very, very not good. 535 00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:24,075 I just wanted a man to remove his scarf. 536 00:21:24,159 --> 00:21:25,869 They've got fucking nukes, Eric. 537 00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:28,163 Of all the countries. War with Malta, maybe. 538 00:21:28,246 --> 00:21:29,372 STEPH: War with China? 539 00:21:29,414 --> 00:21:31,082 I'm supposed to go to Bournemouth for the weekend. 540 00:21:31,166 --> 00:21:33,585 Listen, go to my trailer. There's something there. You're not gonna like it. 541 00:21:33,668 --> 00:21:35,962 The head of our Global Security Force, for you. 542 00:21:37,505 --> 00:21:38,506 Hello? 543 00:21:39,549 --> 00:21:40,717 Yes, this is he. 544 00:21:42,010 --> 00:21:43,928 Yes, it seems I've done this. 545 00:21:45,096 --> 00:21:48,099 Okay, I will let them know. Thank you. Bye. 546 00:21:50,185 --> 00:21:51,394 They want me to tell security 547 00:21:51,478 --> 00:21:53,396 that I might be at war with China. 548 00:21:53,438 --> 00:21:54,439 Studio security, yeah? 549 00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:55,607 Frank and the boys at front desk. 550 00:21:55,690 --> 00:21:57,901 -I'll let 'em know. Great. -If you would be so kind, yeah. 551 00:21:57,942 --> 00:22:00,570 Anita, I have Pat from Cleveland requesting you "urgently." 552 00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:03,281 Oh, I'm, uh-- I'm not here. Uh, no thank you. 553 00:22:03,365 --> 00:22:05,241 I'm actually just having a migraine. 554 00:22:05,283 --> 00:22:07,077 I might have given myself China Syndrome. 555 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:08,953 STEPH: Right, do you need your eye-bag? 556 00:22:09,037 --> 00:22:10,663 ANITA: Okay. Scramble PR. 557 00:22:10,747 --> 00:22:13,083 Apology video. Full-court grovel. 558 00:22:13,166 --> 00:22:15,919 Okay? Go. Go, go, go, go, go! 559 00:22:16,002 --> 00:22:17,128 Oh, my God. 560 00:22:18,129 --> 00:22:22,050 Hey, guys. Hey, team. What's up? 561 00:22:22,133 --> 00:22:23,510 This is next-levels Orwellian. 562 00:22:23,593 --> 00:22:25,345 Welcome to the future of getting reamed out. 563 00:22:25,428 --> 00:22:26,680 Xi Jin Pat. 564 00:22:26,763 --> 00:22:28,682 Pat, Daniel just called you "Xi Jin Pat." 565 00:22:28,765 --> 00:22:30,975 -(DANIEL SIGHS) -So, team Tecto, 566 00:22:31,476 --> 00:22:32,644 what's happenin'? 567 00:22:33,812 --> 00:22:35,271 -Uh... -(VELCRO CRACKLES) 568 00:22:35,313 --> 00:22:36,940 STEPH: Basically, Eric's at war with China, 569 00:22:36,981 --> 00:22:38,233 and now he has a migraine. 570 00:22:38,316 --> 00:22:39,818 PAT: Yeah, I know what's fucking happening, dipshit. 571 00:22:39,901 --> 00:22:41,444 Show me Eric. 572 00:22:41,528 --> 00:22:44,614 Hey, tough guy! Hope you've got your own nukes. 573 00:22:44,698 --> 00:22:47,617 What the fuck is that? Bryson, what is that? 574 00:22:47,701 --> 00:22:50,620 I believe it's an eye-bag, sir. Lavender-scented eye-bag. 575 00:22:50,704 --> 00:22:51,788 All right, you know what? 576 00:22:51,830 --> 00:22:55,542 That lavender eye-bag is gonna me fucking explode! 577 00:22:55,625 --> 00:22:57,460 Eric, if we could be removing the eye-bag, please? 578 00:22:57,502 --> 00:22:58,837 ANITA: Pat, I am across this. 579 00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:00,255 PAT: Sure fucking looks like it. 580 00:23:00,296 --> 00:23:03,008 Hey, I talked to my friends at the Propaganda Committee. 581 00:23:03,091 --> 00:23:05,093 They have a little clean-up job for you. 582 00:23:05,176 --> 00:23:08,138 Tell me, what do you know about the tainted baby milk scandal? 583 00:23:08,179 --> 00:23:09,305 Um, not much. 584 00:23:09,347 --> 00:23:11,975 PAT: An incident. Traces of mercury in the milk. 585 00:23:12,058 --> 00:23:13,727 They'd like us to reassure the Chinese people 586 00:23:13,810 --> 00:23:15,186 that it's safe to drink. 587 00:23:16,396 --> 00:23:17,564 A-- And-- And is it? 588 00:23:17,647 --> 00:23:19,983 (SCOFFS) Oh, yeah, sure. 589 00:23:20,025 --> 00:23:22,527 So, where are my actors at, huh? Bryson, show me. 590 00:23:22,610 --> 00:23:25,697 Where's Peter? I guess we got a commercial to shoot. 591 00:23:25,780 --> 00:23:27,449 You, in the skull cap. 592 00:23:27,490 --> 00:23:28,992 How would you like a line in our movie? 593 00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:30,076 I'm sorry? 594 00:23:30,952 --> 00:23:31,953 Oh, my God. 595 00:23:32,912 --> 00:23:36,207 ♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 596 00:23:42,172 --> 00:23:45,175 (SIGHS) I tell you what, Colonel Adard, 597 00:23:45,216 --> 00:23:48,636 that packs a real protein punch. Mm. 598 00:23:51,222 --> 00:23:52,766 -ERIC: Cut. -DANIEL: Cut there. 599 00:23:53,391 --> 00:23:54,434 I think we got it. 600 00:23:54,517 --> 00:23:56,019 -Go again. -Pat would like to go again. 601 00:23:56,061 --> 00:23:57,604 -We go again. -We're going again. 602 00:23:57,687 --> 00:23:59,147 RUFUS: And this is definitely safe to drink? 603 00:23:59,189 --> 00:24:00,774 Because I'm-- I'm drinking quite a lot of this. 604 00:24:00,857 --> 00:24:02,442 Uh, yeah, I'm sure it's fine. 605 00:24:02,525 --> 00:24:04,235 If you could like... If you could find out 606 00:24:04,319 --> 00:24:05,403 how much mercury there was in it, 607 00:24:05,487 --> 00:24:06,738 because I-- I ought to tell my doctor. 608 00:24:06,821 --> 00:24:08,114 Yeah, sure. 609 00:24:08,198 --> 00:24:09,616 It's only for the China cut, Eric. 610 00:24:09,699 --> 00:24:12,035 Yeah, exactly. Just a billion people. 611 00:24:12,077 --> 00:24:14,788 -Thank you, Dag. -He's very, very good. 612 00:24:15,330 --> 00:24:16,498 Like, arresting. 613 00:24:17,415 --> 00:24:18,541 Indelible. 614 00:24:19,626 --> 00:24:20,710 Mm-hmm. 615 00:24:21,294 --> 00:24:22,837 ANITA: Not good, Dan. 616 00:24:23,421 --> 00:24:25,548 China, the golf cart. 617 00:24:25,590 --> 00:24:28,051 Eric's about to hang himself with his indoor scarf. 618 00:24:28,093 --> 00:24:30,053 Holy shit. Are they gonna fire him? 619 00:24:30,136 --> 00:24:31,262 Worse. 620 00:24:31,346 --> 00:24:33,056 ANITA: No, they'll Clockwork Orange him. 621 00:24:33,098 --> 00:24:35,225 Strap him to a chair, pin his eyelids back, 622 00:24:35,308 --> 00:24:37,727 and then make us all watch as Pat fucks his movie. 623 00:24:37,811 --> 00:24:39,229 Bad for Eric. Bad for us. 624 00:24:39,270 --> 00:24:41,564 -Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. -(CELL PHONE BUZZING) 625 00:24:41,648 --> 00:24:45,235 That does sound bad. Oh, feeding time. 626 00:24:45,276 --> 00:24:46,569 Adam needs his chicken. 627 00:24:46,611 --> 00:24:49,197 ♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 628 00:24:49,239 --> 00:24:50,782 Yeah, I'm coming. I'm all right. I'm fine. 629 00:24:50,865 --> 00:24:52,367 No, don't put your hand on me. 630 00:24:52,450 --> 00:24:53,910 We've had reports of an audio leak. 631 00:24:53,952 --> 00:24:56,204 I want my fucking scarf. And a lawyer. 632 00:24:58,248 --> 00:25:01,251 If you can tell Eric, I wanna do kind of a looser one. 633 00:25:01,334 --> 00:25:03,086 Matter of fact, this dude. Excuse me. Could you-- 634 00:25:03,169 --> 00:25:04,587 Could you just-- Could you just fuck off 635 00:25:04,671 --> 00:25:06,256 out of my eyeline just a hair? 636 00:25:06,297 --> 00:25:07,924 Thanks, mate. Really appreciate it. Yeah. 637 00:25:07,966 --> 00:25:08,967 Fuck's sake. 638 00:25:09,050 --> 00:25:11,594 Come on. I really wanna see that label, Eric. 639 00:25:11,636 --> 00:25:13,138 Come on. Let's sell some milk. 640 00:25:14,431 --> 00:25:15,849 Can you hold the milk higher? 641 00:25:16,474 --> 00:25:17,642 Mm-hmm. Yes, sir. 642 00:25:20,562 --> 00:25:21,604 Closer to your face. 643 00:25:22,856 --> 00:25:24,482 -There? -ERIC: Mm. 644 00:25:25,525 --> 00:25:26,526 Lower. 645 00:25:27,736 --> 00:25:28,737 Lower. 646 00:25:29,821 --> 00:25:30,822 Yeah. 647 00:25:32,157 --> 00:25:33,491 Okay, let's go. 648 00:25:33,575 --> 00:25:35,577 Come on. Let's sell some milk. Let's go. 649 00:25:37,829 --> 00:25:40,832 RUFUS: All right, Eric, my good sir, 650 00:25:40,915 --> 00:25:42,000 ready for another take. 651 00:25:57,015 --> 00:26:01,936 Ni hao. I want to apologize to the President of China, 652 00:26:02,020 --> 00:26:05,065 the government of China, the people of China, 653 00:26:05,148 --> 00:26:07,525 and, indeed, the pandas of China, 654 00:26:07,609 --> 00:26:11,654 for the deeply disrespectful way I referred to your homeland. 655 00:26:11,738 --> 00:26:15,825 Hello. And indeed, ni hao. 656 00:26:15,867 --> 00:26:18,828 I would like to take this opportunity to apologize 657 00:26:18,912 --> 00:26:20,038 to the people of China 658 00:26:20,121 --> 00:26:21,831 for a great many number of things. 659 00:26:21,915 --> 00:26:26,044 First and foremost, the 1991 buddy comedy Sweet & Sour. 660 00:26:26,127 --> 00:26:28,463 Having had the chance to reflect, and having spoken 661 00:26:28,505 --> 00:26:31,424 to a number of leading Chinese academics, 662 00:26:31,508 --> 00:26:34,386 I can now see that elements of my portrayal 663 00:26:34,469 --> 00:26:38,723 of Professor Zhao were inappropriate, inaccurate, 664 00:26:38,807 --> 00:26:42,060 and, while deeply funny at the time and indeed lauded 665 00:26:42,143 --> 00:26:45,522 as "stir-fried fun" by Roger Ebert, 666 00:26:45,563 --> 00:26:48,233 incredibly painful to many thousands, 667 00:26:48,316 --> 00:26:49,859 if not millions of people. 668 00:26:49,943 --> 00:26:54,155 I am, as ever, grateful for this learning opportunity. 669 00:26:55,198 --> 00:26:57,784 And I know that now it's time for me to stop talking 670 00:26:57,867 --> 00:26:59,577 and start listening. 671 00:26:59,661 --> 00:27:02,080 My audiobook, You're Welcome Darling, 672 00:27:02,163 --> 00:27:03,373 is available now, 673 00:27:03,456 --> 00:27:05,709 with a full speaking tour to follow in the spring. 674 00:27:05,750 --> 00:27:09,045 Thank you and zai jain. 675 00:27:11,047 --> 00:27:12,048 Shishi. 676 00:27:13,675 --> 00:27:15,051 And I would like to add... 677 00:27:15,969 --> 00:27:18,471 that this milk is utterly delicious. 678 00:27:19,305 --> 00:27:20,724 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 679 00:27:20,765 --> 00:27:22,642 (GULPS) Mm.