1 00:00:06,923 --> 00:00:08,591 Wazzup? 2 00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:12,470 Mr. Shannon! Hello to you, good sir. 3 00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:13,805 Hello to you, good sir. 4 00:00:14,305 --> 00:00:17,308 Hello good sir to you as well, good sir. 5 00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:19,310 -Hey, Adam. -Hi, Pat. 6 00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:21,438 Now, would you care to know who's got 7 00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:22,939 the smallest dick in Hollywood? 8 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,150 Oh, yes, kind sir, I very much would. 9 00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:27,402 It's gotta be one of the kids from Stranger Things, right? 10 00:00:27,485 --> 00:00:28,737 What? 11 00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:30,321 He's an Oscar-winning director. 12 00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:32,490 I'll send photos. You'll need to zoom in. 13 00:00:32,573 --> 00:00:33,908 Great. You have a second? 14 00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:35,076 -Sure. -Good. 15 00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:37,829 Dan, live situation. Pat is making moves in the artist village. 16 00:00:37,912 --> 00:00:39,456 Repeat, fox in the chicken coop. 17 00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:40,665 Okay, pal, listen up. 18 00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:42,125 Centurios 2 has a little problem. 19 00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:44,419 -Little plot hole. -Oh, great. 20 00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:46,588 I love it when other people's films are in trouble. 21 00:00:46,671 --> 00:00:48,131 Oh, me too. 22 00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:50,759 It's fucking awesome. I know, I know. 23 00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:52,886 But sadly though, this one's my responsibility. 24 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:54,763 Anyway, to fix the plot hole... 25 00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:56,181 -Bryson? -I'll take it from here. 26 00:00:56,264 --> 00:00:57,891 They need a man who can see into the future. 27 00:00:57,974 --> 00:01:00,226 Or maybe one who causes earthquakes 28 00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:02,645 and has slightly above average strength, right? 29 00:01:03,646 --> 00:01:06,066 Hey, guys. What are we missing? 30 00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:08,693 Anita, we're taking Peter for a day of shooting. Hmm? 31 00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:09,903 Absolutely, Pat. Hundred percent. 32 00:01:09,986 --> 00:01:11,780 -Whatever you need. -Good. There's more. 33 00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:13,823 Can I get a private word in two? 34 00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:16,158 Bryson, find me a space. 35 00:01:17,535 --> 00:01:18,578 What is happening? 36 00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:20,288 Payback, Daniel. The reckoning. 37 00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:22,874 We are being punished for Eric's sins. 38 00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:28,004 Oh, what a shame, number one. 39 00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:32,509 Old man's off to the big leagues for a day. Adios, cuntos. 40 00:01:34,051 --> 00:01:36,346 Bye, Peter. Break a leg. 41 00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:39,223 He's such a good actor. 42 00:01:40,725 --> 00:01:42,435 As are you. 43 00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:02,706 Okay, you got your pound of flesh, Pat. 44 00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:04,791 -So, we square? -Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 45 00:02:04,874 --> 00:02:07,627 Your director kamikazed himself into our tentpole. 46 00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:09,545 I will take whatever the fuck I want. 47 00:02:09,628 --> 00:02:11,131 Shane hates it when his movies fight. 48 00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:12,924 Obviously, I'd like to shout at Eric 49 00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:14,884 till my jaw pops, but sadly Scott Rudin 50 00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,928 fucked it for all of us, so I can't. 51 00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:18,304 Shane's not happy with you, Anita. 52 00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:21,266 I lost control of my director. Whatever you need. 53 00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:23,560 There is one other thing. Some product placement 54 00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:24,894 I want you to include in your movie. 55 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:26,938 Sure. What's the product? Rolex or-- 56 00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:28,565 -Chinese farming machinery. -Chinese farming machinery. 57 00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:31,317 Left field. That... Was not expecting that. 58 00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:32,986 -Shane's under pressure. -But thriving. 59 00:02:33,069 --> 00:02:35,488 Domestic box office is going down and down. 60 00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:36,948 China's coming back. 61 00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:39,826 But China wants a favor to release our movies. 62 00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:42,370 -A reach-around. -A reach-around? Of China? 63 00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:44,748 That's a big old reach-around. 64 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,666 It's a huge reach-around. 65 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,710 The Central Propaganda Committee would like it known 66 00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:50,795 their farming machinery is the greatest in the world. 67 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:52,047 And I happen to agree with them. 68 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,673 A hundred percent. Fuck John Deere. 69 00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:56,009 Sure, but in terms of how farming machinery 70 00:02:56,091 --> 00:02:59,054 might sit in Tecto, a superhero movie largely set in space-- 71 00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:01,473 Anita, I once got flavored rubbers into a TV movie 72 00:03:01,556 --> 00:03:03,683 about the Exxon Valdez oil spill. 73 00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:05,352 -Wow. -But now, I leave 74 00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:06,603 the detail to the artists. 75 00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,813 Leave it to the artists to sell the tractors. 76 00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:11,983 Your movie, Anita... it's on our shit list. 77 00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,735 Get me my tractor shot, or Peter 78 00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,320 won't be the last thing I fucking take. 79 00:03:15,403 --> 00:03:16,446 -You got it? -Copy. 80 00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:19,240 Now, if you'll excuse me. I have a flight to Cleveland. 81 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,785 They're letting me blow up a freeway. 82 00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:24,579 Super cool. 83 00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:30,418 Here is a brochure of Chinese farming machinery. 84 00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:33,630 A multiverse, but of Chinese farming machinery. 85 00:03:46,309 --> 00:03:47,560 Oh, Angela. 86 00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:51,106 Oh, Angela! 87 00:03:53,274 --> 00:03:54,776 Angela! 88 00:03:58,279 --> 00:04:00,073 Oh, Angela. 89 00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,035 Angela! 90 00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:06,955 Jesus Christ. 91 00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:08,415 And cut. 92 00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,333 And respectfully, we've cut there. 93 00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:13,378 Well, that's depressing. 94 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,380 Yeah, well, guess what? Between us... 95 00:04:17,132 --> 00:04:19,759 -Circumcision. -What? Circumcision? 96 00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:21,720 No, it's being cut. The scene's a cut. 97 00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:23,805 Why are we shooting something that we're gonna cut? 98 00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:25,390 Sugar cube for the donkey. 99 00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:27,517 Eric wants it, and he is the "director." 100 00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:29,853 -What was that? -What was what? 101 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:32,313 You said director in air quotes. 102 00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:34,941 -No, I didn't. -Almost there. One more. 103 00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:36,151 Eric, honestly, I think we got that. 104 00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:38,194 Listen, this scene is the beating heart of my movie. 105 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:41,781 This is me, like a samurai, opening my gut to tell the people. 106 00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:43,158 Yeah. We're going again. 107 00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:45,034 -Sorry, sir, go on. -Yeah, also last take... 108 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,703 fruit bowl was fuckity wank. It won't work. 109 00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:49,497 Stop fussing about the fucking tangerines, Stephanie. 110 00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,667 Super, super important that we get this scene 111 00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:53,835 absolutely perfect. 112 00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:55,337 Right, Dan? 113 00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:59,632 Have you heard what they call me after the golf cart thing? 114 00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:01,926 "The badass Wes Anderson." 115 00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:04,763 I hope it doesn't stick. Can you imagine? 116 00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:06,890 I wouldn't worry. I don't think anyone's calling you that. 117 00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:08,433 Maybe I like how it feels. 118 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,353 Swinging the dick around. Ding dong. 119 00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:12,937 Yeah, swing it around. 120 00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:15,440 Use it as a fork. You can do what you want. 121 00:05:15,523 --> 00:05:17,359 -I'd like to fire the sound man. -Okay, you can't do that. 122 00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:19,069 He rolls his eyes at my scene. 123 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,695 Plus, he's wearing the indoor scarf. 124 00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:23,281 I thought only directors wear the indoor scarf. Is he mocking me? 125 00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:24,949 Why don't we put him somewhere you can't see him? 126 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,242 Yes, hide the man. 127 00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:28,328 -Now show me the cargo bay. -Oh. 128 00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:29,829 Bring up Eric's cargo bay. 129 00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:32,916 So, this is the latest render of the cargo bay. 130 00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:36,670 Daniel? 131 00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,715 All right, screen team. I did have it, but what I'm looking 132 00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:42,092 at right now is not the cargo bay. 133 00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:44,511 It's Darren's wife and his three children 134 00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:46,221 and their weird medieval haircuts. 135 00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:49,474 Eric. Sir, cannot wait to see your hospital scene. 136 00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:51,183 Somberly excited to see her die. 137 00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:52,394 Thank you. 138 00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:55,814 Why does he think small children 139 00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:57,565 want to see a sad lady die? 140 00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:59,484 Yeah. Agreed. We should cut the scene. 141 00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:01,361 I spoke with Pat. 142 00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:05,115 We have to swallow some additional product placement. 143 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:06,950 What, one of his janky product deals? 144 00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,827 Oh. For the record, not everyone 145 00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:10,829 who drove a Coyote Turbo died in a fire. 146 00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:13,665 It's not my first rodeo. 147 00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:15,500 I helped integrate paprika Popchips 148 00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,293 into Thunderon's funeral. What's the brand? 149 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:18,670 Established name. 150 00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,422 I took a look at the product catalog, 151 00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:23,758 and I think the best fit for us in terms of storytelling 152 00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:25,135 is the YTO 330. 153 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,429 Sports car? 'Cause Tecto's already got a car. 154 00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:29,014 Mm, this is more off-road. 155 00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:32,267 Off-road, four-wheeled conveyance. 156 00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:33,351 Rugged. 157 00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:42,444 -That's a tractor. -Very, very reliable tractor. 158 00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:44,738 Judge's commendation at the Beijing Tractor Expo. 159 00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:47,073 -Fair play, tractor. -Fucking great tractor. 160 00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:49,117 It's a tractor with bags of character. 161 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,326 We're in deep space. 162 00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:52,203 How the fuck are we gonna integrate a tractor? 163 00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:54,205 Look, Aaron Sorkin's locked in a room in Burbank 164 00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:56,291 working on the Turkey Dinosaurs movie for Pat. 165 00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:57,917 -I'll throw it to him. -Eric won't like it. 166 00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,127 He's a former ad guy. 167 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,087 On the Reddits, they still call him "The Cheese Man of Dusseldorf." 168 00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:02,881 -It haunts him. -Sorry, no can care. 169 00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:04,674 Shane wants us to tickle up China. 170 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:05,884 Look, it is not just us. 171 00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:08,178 Centurios 2 took the Forager model... 172 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,846 which has the excavation bucket 173 00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:11,097 -and the hedge trimmer? -Hedge trimmer. 174 00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:12,515 No way. It just won't make sense. 175 00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,517 God, imagine if something in the movie didn't make sense. 176 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,269 Look, this is not a drill, Dan. 177 00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:19,564 Pat's unhappy, and I need a win. We both do. 178 00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:21,775 I am offering whatever you want... 179 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:25,737 in terms of directing. 180 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:31,117 Okay. 181 00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:35,622 All right, I'll talk to Eric. You'll get your product shot. 182 00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:37,540 Thank you. 183 00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:40,919 It's so red and adorable. 184 00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:43,713 Really hope you figure it out. 185 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:46,508 Be great to give a boost to the Chinese Communist Party. 186 00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:48,593 Okay, cool. You're doing your thing. 187 00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:50,261 Peck, peck, pecking away. 188 00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:52,138 Look, it's a two-second shot of a tractor. 189 00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:53,348 And Dickens was product. 190 00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:54,933 And Shakespeare moved units, okay? 191 00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:56,851 The biz is the biz is the biz. 192 00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:59,145 Six hundred gram organic rotisserie chicken for Adam. 193 00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:01,523 Great. So now I'm a chicken butler. 194 00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:03,441 For the People's Republic of Chicken. 195 00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:07,237 Really glad I did that degree in history of art. 196 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,613 Chicken traveling! 197 00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,158 I have your chicken. 198 00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:13,993 I feel like a zookeeper 199 00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:15,995 throwing protein at you every four hours. 200 00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:19,290 Yeah. It's... I just gotta maintain nonstop. 201 00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:21,626 It's like I-- I'm only as valuable as... 202 00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:22,961 as my lean muscle mass. 203 00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:25,505 And it's like I'm a piece of veal. It's just... 204 00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:28,508 Very morose. You still in character 205 00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:29,676 for the scene that won't get cut? 206 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:30,802 Can I ask you a question? 207 00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:33,096 'Cause this child on Reddit says I don't blink enough 208 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,140 and it's creepy and now I'm in my head about it? 209 00:08:35,222 --> 00:08:36,433 How's this? 210 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,352 Mm. Great, great level. 211 00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:41,604 You're blinking like a motherfucker. 212 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,606 -Yeah. That-- Yeah. -Yeah. 213 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:46,359 That's what I thought. I mean... 214 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,195 I just don't get it. Why don't they want me? 215 00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:52,782 Centurios 2. Why'd they take Peter over me? 216 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,159 Like, why don't they-- 217 00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:56,786 Like, what is it about me that they... 218 00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,246 What-- Do you like me? 219 00:08:58,788 --> 00:08:59,998 I don't think you want me poking around 220 00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:01,416 in your noggin, seriously. 221 00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:02,667 No, you can come on in. Door's open. 222 00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:04,169 Ding dong. Say hello. 223 00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,796 -What is it? -Honestly, Adam... 224 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,341 and I actually think that you'll find comfort in this... 225 00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:12,344 I don't have one opinion on you. Not at all. 226 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,305 Well, I-- Well, y-- you-- 227 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,015 Sorry. That's why you're so great. 228 00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:18,600 -Oh. -When I'm watching you 229 00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:20,560 I'm not thinking about anything. 230 00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,979 And it's like my brain's having a little rest. 231 00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,691 You're kind of like a sexless... 232 00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:28,818 in a good way because it's non-threatening... 233 00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:30,612 potato. 234 00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:34,741 "Sexless potato." 235 00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:36,618 God, you have confidence to say that 236 00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:38,495 to my actual fucking face. 237 00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:39,913 In front of everyone. 238 00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:41,456 Big Dag energy. 239 00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:44,584 Do you mind having second lunch with me? 240 00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:48,046 I need a favor. What are you, paleo, keto? 241 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,130 Dag. 242 00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:50,715 No, no. What, what do you wanna eat? 243 00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:51,966 Surprise me. 244 00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:53,510 -Okay. Great. -Yeah. 245 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:54,928 I'm looking forward to it. 246 00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:02,352 Okay, product placement option one. And cue vehicle. 247 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:03,937 Copy that. Cueing vehicle. 248 00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:26,418 Thoughts? 249 00:10:26,501 --> 00:10:29,462 In terms of how we integrate it into the plot... 250 00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:31,256 in the story... 251 00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:35,677 I guess the story is a rice farmer from China's... 252 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:39,347 accidentally driven through a wormhole in... 253 00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:41,182 It's the worst thing I've ever seen. 254 00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:43,476 Or option two. 255 00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:47,105 So, option two. 256 00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:50,775 Why would there be a Chinese tractor 257 00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:52,652 in the Sector Nine cargo bay? 258 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,656 Maybe an agricultural show nearby? 259 00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:58,408 Country fair in a local quadrant? 260 00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,702 -Smart. -A country fair in deep space? 261 00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:02,829 Yeah. Hogs, lambs, goats. Space cheese. 262 00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,289 Fucking space cheese? 263 00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:06,708 I give up. I literally can't do anything right. 264 00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:12,213 Also, China would like a line. 265 00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:15,091 Obviously, we can push back. But they are, not relevant... 266 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:18,470 but they are a global nuclear superpower. So... 267 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:20,847 Which line? 268 00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:23,892 "Reliable. Buyable. Undeniable. 269 00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:26,019 It's the best tractor in the galaxy." 270 00:11:28,063 --> 00:11:30,523 And you want those actual words in my literal movie? 271 00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:32,442 It's a small statement of fact. 272 00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:36,905 Daniel, I can't. 273 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:43,828 Eric, there is another option. 274 00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,957 -The hospital scene. -My dying wife? 275 00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:50,043 Truth is, the studio want to cut it, okay? 276 00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:51,795 'Cause they're scared by the power of emotions. 277 00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:56,466 But put the tractor in the scene and then they can't cut it. 278 00:11:57,217 --> 00:12:00,178 The only way you're swallowing their load 279 00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:01,346 is if they swallow yours. 280 00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:03,014 A load for a load. 281 00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:07,310 Plus, Centurios 2 has the Forager model... 282 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:09,354 which has the excavator bucket. 283 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,483 Obviously I can shoot a tractor. I can shoot the shit out of it. 284 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,610 Oh, yeah. Mate, I've seen your Daewoo commercial. 285 00:12:15,694 --> 00:12:16,695 Seminal. 286 00:12:19,114 --> 00:12:20,573 So, we good? 287 00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:31,042 By the way, Milo the sound guy didn't wanna move. 288 00:12:31,126 --> 00:12:32,585 So, we're setting up a sight screen 289 00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,129 so you won't have to see him. 290 00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:38,049 We made him remove his indoor scarf. 291 00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:40,010 He was wearing it 'cause he has tonsillitis. 292 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:42,595 Would you like to keep it as a trophy? 293 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:43,680 Yes. 294 00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:45,348 Is he looking? 295 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,308 I have the feeling I've antagonized him. 296 00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:49,978 Oh, yeah, he's looking. Lasers coming out of his eyes. 297 00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:52,814 Is there nowhere else he can go? Outside? 298 00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:54,733 Like... a van outside? 299 00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:56,067 Not in a horrible way, but... 300 00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:58,403 Yeah, no, sure. Not a horrible van. 301 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:00,613 Okay. I think-- 302 00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:02,323 I think we should probably kill the video wall 303 00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:04,951 ‘cause that's personal and just a bit sad. 304 00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:06,828 Screen team. 305 00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:10,331 I've currently got a slideshow of Darren trying on some chinos. 306 00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:11,416 Nobody look. 307 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,585 Nobody look at the video wall. 308 00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:15,754 Even though I'm drawing your attention to it. 309 00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:20,967 Deadline once called me a cusping wave. Ready to break. 310 00:13:21,593 --> 00:13:22,594 And I'm... 311 00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:26,264 I'm on like a mission to find what's missing. 312 00:13:26,348 --> 00:13:28,350 And like, I was talking to this person. 313 00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:30,310 It's a famous person, Jonah Hill. 314 00:13:30,393 --> 00:13:33,480 And he said I should explore fecal transplants. 315 00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:36,066 -Okay. -So, what I'm basically... 316 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,984 what I'm basically saying, Dag, is... 317 00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,947 can you do me a solid? 318 00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:50,038 Oh. 319 00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:52,290 -My shit. -Yes, exactly, yes. 320 00:13:52,374 --> 00:13:54,584 A stool transplant. And you're the perfect demographic for me. 321 00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:55,669 Perfect, so yes. 322 00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:59,297 I might like to, you know... feast on your biome. 323 00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:00,590 Got it. 324 00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:02,801 And how does that work... the transplant? 325 00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:05,387 I don't like... in your mouth? 326 00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:06,971 In my mouth? No, no. 327 00:14:07,055 --> 00:14:08,890 Not yet. 328 00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:12,977 Yeah, NDA. We're gonna sign an NDA, a veil of secrecy 329 00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:14,646 and then my team will take a sample 330 00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:16,690 and see if you are viable. 331 00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:19,359 Oh. My stools are viable. 332 00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:20,652 Yeah. 333 00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:22,570 -Don't you worry about that. -Yeah. 334 00:14:22,654 --> 00:14:24,280 Okay, yeah. I'm in. 335 00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:27,575 But I want an executive producer credit. 336 00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:28,910 Absolutely not. 337 00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:31,788 One step at a time, okay? One step at a time. 338 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,165 -But I'll drop you a line. -Okay. 339 00:14:34,249 --> 00:14:35,250 -Thanks. -It's a pleasure 340 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:36,334 doing business for you. 341 00:14:36,418 --> 00:14:38,294 For me? 342 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:39,546 Don't tell anyone. 343 00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:41,172 -Why would I? -Yeah. 344 00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:47,178 -No problem. -The love of God! 345 00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,139 Can I at least have my scarf back? 346 00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:50,974 Yeah, I'll look into it. Okay, text me your lunch order. 347 00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:52,100 Cheers. 348 00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:56,438 -Emergency dialogue fix. -What? 349 00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:59,691 Dialogue has been Sorkinized. We are rehearsing. 350 00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:02,110 And now try the new line, please, Adam. 351 00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:03,945 But really, only if you can find it, yeah? 352 00:15:04,029 --> 00:15:05,155 -Okay. -And... 353 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:06,281 Just one sec. 354 00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:08,116 I got it. 355 00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:11,161 And... action. 356 00:15:12,996 --> 00:15:14,122 Angela. 357 00:15:21,463 --> 00:15:22,505 Tractors... 358 00:15:23,715 --> 00:15:26,634 turning the soil. Reliable... 359 00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:29,387 undeniable tractors. 360 00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:33,183 Okay, he's not saying that line. 361 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,309 Okay, cut the line. 362 00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:36,102 Other than that, I think it works. 363 00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:37,854 Compromise. 364 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:40,398 Everyone's a winner slash loser. Told you I could execute. 365 00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:43,902 "The Executioner" of this artform that you love. 366 00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:45,445 Checks to shoot, please. 367 00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:48,907 FYI, I may need to dash away on some very important business. 368 00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:53,495 I'm trying to produce something for Adam. I'm his new producer. 369 00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:55,789 Dan, Peter's returned from his Centurios cameo. 370 00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:57,415 All right, great. Can you get him and Mollusk Man 371 00:15:57,499 --> 00:15:58,708 ready for the next set-up? 372 00:15:58,750 --> 00:16:01,252 We might have a continuity issue. 373 00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:07,759 -Peter? -Oh, hello. 374 00:16:07,842 --> 00:16:09,803 I had the most wonderful time. 375 00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:11,304 Peter, have you been sprayed? 376 00:16:11,388 --> 00:16:13,807 Yes, I have. I can't remember why. 377 00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:17,769 Wasn't listening. Plot reasons, one imagines. 378 00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:19,270 Peter's been sprayed. 379 00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,774 -Like a dog? -Sprayed. 380 00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:25,568 They've got the most incredible caterers over there. 381 00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:28,905 Do you know, they put truffle into arancini now? 382 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:31,408 Makeup's saying they can't remove it without breaking skin. 383 00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:32,742 They've had a go. 384 00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:35,203 I've been getting rubbed off for the past hour. 385 00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:36,705 Wonderful joke, Peter, thank you. 386 00:16:36,955 --> 00:16:38,832 Someone "blue" me. Also tinted my skin. 387 00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:41,584 Okay, let's send Peter home before he innuendoes himself. 388 00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:44,921 And off I fuck for treacle pud on the beanbag. 389 00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:47,173 The actor's life! 390 00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:50,385 -Auf weidersehen, cunts. -Bye, Peter. Have a lovely time. 391 00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:54,431 The crane pushes very slowly onto Adam. 392 00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:56,433 Slow push. I'll let Horst know. 393 00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,351 Slow and beautiful, yes? Like my scene. 394 00:16:58,435 --> 00:16:59,602 Eyebrows coming back nicely. 395 00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:00,979 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 396 00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:02,689 So, how's things? How's married life? 397 00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:04,482 Oh, I wouldn't know, sadly. 398 00:17:04,566 --> 00:17:06,526 Had to miss the honeymoon to be here, but... 399 00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:08,528 Right, right. I'm sure she understands. 400 00:17:08,611 --> 00:17:10,405 -She's probably great. -Oh, yeah. Oh, she gets it. 401 00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:13,032 Yeah. Totally get-- You know, she doesn't get it. 402 00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:15,326 She's devastated, and she's not returning my calls. 403 00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:18,079 -And it's really sad. -Right. 404 00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:19,455 God. 405 00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:23,292 Yeah, I'm having a bit of strife myself, actually. 406 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:25,045 Oh, sorry to hear that. 407 00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:26,838 Yep. Sometimes the people we end up with 408 00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,591 are malignant, narcissistic arrogant shitheads. 409 00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:30,967 ...like a fraction slower. 410 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:35,096 -Well, that's show biz, folks. -Yes. Yes, it is. 411 00:17:38,641 --> 00:17:39,684 Sorry? 412 00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:41,978 Sorry, sorry. What the fuck is this now? 413 00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:44,731 It was communicated to Centurios 2 that we had 414 00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:46,983 successfully integrated the product into our film. 415 00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:48,985 So they thought we could also take theirs. 416 00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:50,695 Daniel? A second tractor? 417 00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:53,239 Their feeling is... we already have one tractor. 418 00:17:53,323 --> 00:17:54,366 So what's another tractor? 419 00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:56,201 It's got more things than our tractor. 420 00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:57,452 It's even more tractor. 421 00:17:57,535 --> 00:17:59,496 Two tractors? This is my death scene! 422 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,373 It's not a fucking piece of farming pornography. 423 00:18:01,456 --> 00:18:04,292 Having had a chance to reflect, their director just feels 424 00:18:04,376 --> 00:18:06,586 -really strongly about China. -Oh, really? Does he now? 425 00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:08,129 Guess what? I feel strongly about China. 426 00:18:08,213 --> 00:18:10,423 But apparently, he feels really strongly. 427 00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:11,966 Oh, that's so fucking paternalistic. 428 00:18:12,050 --> 00:18:13,843 Straight White guy suddenly really cares 429 00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:16,388 -about poor old backward China. -I really care about it. 430 00:18:16,471 --> 00:18:17,931 I do care about it a lot. 431 00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:19,683 Well, exactly, Eric cares about it but in the right way. 432 00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:21,476 Calm down. We all hate or love China 433 00:18:21,559 --> 00:18:23,228 the same correct amount. Who the fuck cares? 434 00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:25,063 -Amnesty International. -Our corporate partners. 435 00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:27,315 Asshole! He wants to destroy my film. 436 00:18:27,399 --> 00:18:29,442 -Send it back. Send it back. -Do not send it back! 437 00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:31,111 Do not send it back. 438 00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:32,654 Oh my God, this is so ugly. 439 00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:34,364 Apparently, their director is thinking of going public 440 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:37,951 with his feelings. And his opinion is basically... China. 441 00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:40,995 Oh, yeah? Mine too. Fuck it. Fuck China. 442 00:18:41,413 --> 00:18:42,664 -Hey... -I will say it first. 443 00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:43,873 Who wants to hear it? 444 00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:46,459 No, Eric. No. Whoa. 445 00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:49,504 Fuck China. Yeah? 446 00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:51,589 Fuck China! 447 00:18:51,673 --> 00:18:54,134 Fuck dim sums. Fuck finger traps. 448 00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:56,845 Fuck Mulan. Fuck fortune cookies. 449 00:18:56,928 --> 00:18:59,556 Fuck sweet sour. Fuck Peking duck. 450 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:04,811 Fuck silk. Fuck ying. Fuck yang. Eric say fuck Confucius. 451 00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:08,231 -Thank you. -You happy? 452 00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:10,942 I'm a big man. 453 00:19:11,026 --> 00:19:14,237 I'm an IMAX man. I'm a very wide screen man. 454 00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:16,906 -Yeah. -Fuck the pandas. 455 00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:19,534 Glad they can't reproduce. 456 00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:25,040 Send them both back to Centurios. 457 00:19:32,714 --> 00:19:36,593 No, no. No tractors. Xan said no tractors. 458 00:19:41,264 --> 00:19:42,807 All right. We need to shoot. 459 00:19:42,891 --> 00:19:45,185 Steph, can you find out when Eric's ready to rejoin, please? 460 00:19:45,268 --> 00:19:46,478 He'll come out when he's hungry. 461 00:19:46,561 --> 00:19:47,604 I know. 462 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:50,398 Guys! Stop watching poker. 463 00:19:50,482 --> 00:19:51,691 Adam. 464 00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:53,151 Hey. 465 00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:54,944 -When you get a second. -What? 466 00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:56,029 It is done. 467 00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:59,115 I have undertaken my business. 468 00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:02,494 -What? -In your trailer. 469 00:20:02,577 --> 00:20:04,704 I've done a very ambitious production. 470 00:20:06,831 --> 00:20:07,874 I've done a shit. 471 00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:10,752 You shit in my trailer? 472 00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:13,421 I thought that's what you wanted. 473 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,840 No. No, I have a specialist 474 00:20:15,924 --> 00:20:17,801 and he puts it in a sealed bag and you're supposed 475 00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:20,553 to do the WhatsApp questionnaire. What? 476 00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:21,763 Oh, I've done it wrong. 477 00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:24,140 Yeah. You shit in my trailer, dude. 478 00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:28,436 Oh, no, Dag. You didn't. You mucky little pup. 479 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:29,729 -What's happening? -No. 480 00:20:29,813 --> 00:20:30,897 Daniel, don't shout at her... 481 00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:32,565 but she's done a shit in Adam's trailer. 482 00:20:32,649 --> 00:20:35,318 Sorry, Dag, what? Was it... 483 00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:37,278 I mean, tell me it was at least in the toilet. 484 00:20:37,362 --> 00:20:39,406 NDA. NDA. 485 00:20:40,323 --> 00:20:42,909 Oh, what have I done that for? 486 00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:45,704 I think someone needs to say sorry. 487 00:20:45,787 --> 00:20:48,415 Adam, I'm sorry for doing a poo in your trailer. 488 00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:51,418 -What the fuck happened? -How do you know? 489 00:20:51,501 --> 00:20:53,378 -It's in fucking Variety. -I'm sorry, what? 490 00:20:53,461 --> 00:20:55,171 How can Variety know already? 491 00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:57,882 Shane is monitoring, and he is deeply, deeply concerned. 492 00:20:58,216 --> 00:20:59,342 Shane knows? 493 00:21:00,135 --> 00:21:02,470 -Why is this happening to me? -Eric, sir. Sorry. 494 00:21:02,554 --> 00:21:05,473 Have you declared war on China? 495 00:21:05,557 --> 00:21:06,808 Not as far as I'm aware. 496 00:21:06,891 --> 00:21:09,227 "Did Eric Bouchard Just Declare War on China?" 497 00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:10,562 Oh, thank God! That's the article. 498 00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:12,480 -Did you go public? -What is happening, Daniel? 499 00:21:12,564 --> 00:21:14,149 No idea. I'm just panicking in real time like you. 500 00:21:14,232 --> 00:21:16,067 Shane's schedule does not allow a window for war. 501 00:21:16,151 --> 00:21:18,111 Maybe the sound guy leaked it. 502 00:21:18,194 --> 00:21:19,529 You know, the man you put into a van? 503 00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:22,198 Major problem. Very, very not good. 504 00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:24,075 I just wanted a man to remove his scarf. 505 00:21:24,159 --> 00:21:25,827 They've got fucking nukes, Eric. 506 00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:28,121 Of all the countries. War with Malta, maybe. 507 00:21:28,204 --> 00:21:29,330 War with China? 508 00:21:29,414 --> 00:21:31,082 I'm supposed to go to Bournemouth for the weekend. 509 00:21:31,166 --> 00:21:32,500 Listen, go to my trailer. 510 00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:34,169 There's something there. You're not gonna like it. 511 00:21:34,252 --> 00:21:35,920 The head of our Global Security Force, for you. 512 00:21:37,505 --> 00:21:38,506 Hello? 513 00:21:39,549 --> 00:21:40,717 Yes, this is he. 514 00:21:42,010 --> 00:21:43,887 Yes, it seems I've done this. 515 00:21:45,096 --> 00:21:48,141 Okay, I will let them know. Thank you. Bye. 516 00:21:50,185 --> 00:21:51,394 They want me to tell security 517 00:21:51,478 --> 00:21:53,355 that I might be at war with China. 518 00:21:53,438 --> 00:21:54,439 Studio security, yeah? 519 00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:55,648 Frank and the boys at front desk. 520 00:21:55,732 --> 00:21:57,859 -I'll let 'em know. Great. -If you would be so kind, yeah. 521 00:21:57,942 --> 00:22:00,570 Anita, I have Pat from Cleveland requesting you "urgently." 522 00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:03,281 Oh, I'm not here. No thank you. 523 00:22:03,365 --> 00:22:05,241 I'm actually just having a migraine. 524 00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:06,868 I might have given myself China Syndrome. 525 00:22:07,202 --> 00:22:08,953 Right, do you need your eye-bag? 526 00:22:09,037 --> 00:22:10,663 Okay. Scramble PR. 527 00:22:10,747 --> 00:22:13,083 Apology video. Full-court grovel. 528 00:22:13,166 --> 00:22:15,877 Okay? Go. Go, go, go, go, go! 529 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:17,087 Oh, my God. 530 00:22:18,088 --> 00:22:22,050 Hey, guys. Hey, team. What's up? 531 00:22:22,133 --> 00:22:23,510 This is next-levels Orwellian. 532 00:22:23,593 --> 00:22:25,345 Welcome to the future of getting reamed out. 533 00:22:25,428 --> 00:22:26,680 Xi Jin Pat. 534 00:22:26,763 --> 00:22:28,682 Pat, Daniel just called you "Xi Jin Pat." 535 00:22:28,765 --> 00:22:32,644 So, team Tecto, what's happenin'? 536 00:22:35,313 --> 00:22:38,191 Basically, Eric's at war with China and now he has a migraine. 537 00:22:38,274 --> 00:22:39,818 Yeah, I know what's fucking happening, dipshit. 538 00:22:39,901 --> 00:22:41,069 Show me Eric. 539 00:22:41,569 --> 00:22:44,614 Hey, tough guy! Hope you've got your own nukes. 540 00:22:44,698 --> 00:22:47,659 What the fuck is that? Bryson, what is that? 541 00:22:47,742 --> 00:22:50,620 I believe it's an eye-bag, sir. Lavender-scented eye-bag. 542 00:22:50,704 --> 00:22:51,746 All right, you know what? 543 00:22:51,830 --> 00:22:55,500 That lavender eye-bag is gonna me fucking explode! 544 00:22:55,625 --> 00:22:57,002 Eric, if we could be removing the eye-bag, please? 545 00:22:57,460 --> 00:22:58,795 Pat, I am across this. 546 00:22:58,878 --> 00:23:00,171 Sure fucking looks like it. 547 00:23:00,296 --> 00:23:03,008 Hey, I talked to my friends at the Propaganda Committee. 548 00:23:03,091 --> 00:23:05,051 They have a little clean-up job for you. 549 00:23:05,135 --> 00:23:08,096 Tell me, what do you know about the tainted baby milk scandal? 550 00:23:08,179 --> 00:23:09,264 Not much. 551 00:23:09,347 --> 00:23:11,975 An incident. Traces of mercury in the milk. 552 00:23:12,058 --> 00:23:13,727 They'd like us to reassure the Chinese people 553 00:23:13,810 --> 00:23:15,186 that it's safe to drink. 554 00:23:16,563 --> 00:23:17,564 And is it? 555 00:23:17,981 --> 00:23:19,482 Oh, yeah, sure. 556 00:23:20,066 --> 00:23:22,527 So, where are my actors at, huh? Bryson, show me. 557 00:23:22,610 --> 00:23:25,697 Where's Peter? I guess we got a commercial to shoot. 558 00:23:25,780 --> 00:23:27,157 You, in the skull cap. 559 00:23:27,532 --> 00:23:28,992 How would you like a line in our movie? 560 00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:30,076 I'm sorry? 561 00:23:30,952 --> 00:23:31,953 Oh, my God. 562 00:23:42,172 --> 00:23:45,175 I tell you what, Colonel Adard... 563 00:23:45,258 --> 00:23:47,469 that packs a real protein punch. 564 00:23:51,222 --> 00:23:52,766 -Cut. -Cut there. 565 00:23:53,350 --> 00:23:54,434 I think we got it. 566 00:23:54,517 --> 00:23:55,977 -Go again. -Pat would like to go again. 567 00:23:56,061 --> 00:23:57,604 -We go again. -We're going again. 568 00:23:57,687 --> 00:23:59,105 And this is definitely safe to drink? 569 00:23:59,189 --> 00:24:00,732 Because I'm-- I'm drinking quite a lot of this. 570 00:24:00,857 --> 00:24:02,442 Yeah, I'm sure it's fine. 571 00:24:02,525 --> 00:24:04,235 If you could like... If you could find out 572 00:24:04,319 --> 00:24:05,403 how much mercury there was in it... 573 00:24:05,487 --> 00:24:06,738 because I ought to tell my doctor. 574 00:24:06,821 --> 00:24:08,114 Yeah, sure. 575 00:24:08,198 --> 00:24:09,616 It's only for the China cut, Eric. 576 00:24:09,699 --> 00:24:11,993 Yeah, exactly. Just a billion people. 577 00:24:12,077 --> 00:24:14,788 -Thank you, Dag. -He's very, very good. 578 00:24:15,330 --> 00:24:16,498 Like, arresting. 579 00:24:17,374 --> 00:24:18,500 Indelible. 580 00:24:21,252 --> 00:24:22,796 Not good, Dan. 581 00:24:23,380 --> 00:24:25,048 China, the golf cart. 582 00:24:25,632 --> 00:24:28,009 Eric's about to hang himself with his indoor scarf. 583 00:24:28,093 --> 00:24:30,053 Holy shit. Are they gonna fire him? 584 00:24:30,136 --> 00:24:31,262 Worse. 585 00:24:31,346 --> 00:24:33,014 No, they'll Clockwork Orange him. 586 00:24:33,098 --> 00:24:35,225 Strap him to a chair, pin his eyelids back, 587 00:24:35,308 --> 00:24:37,727 and then make us all watch as Pat fucks his movie. 588 00:24:37,811 --> 00:24:39,187 Bad for Eric. Bad for us. 589 00:24:39,270 --> 00:24:41,564 Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. 590 00:24:41,648 --> 00:24:45,235 That does sound bad. Oh, feeding time. 591 00:24:45,318 --> 00:24:46,611 Adam needs his chicken. 592 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:50,782 Yeah, I'm coming. I'm all right. I'm fine. 593 00:24:50,865 --> 00:24:52,325 No, don't put your hand on me. 594 00:24:52,409 --> 00:24:53,868 We've had reports of an audio leak. 595 00:24:53,952 --> 00:24:56,204 I want my fucking scarf. And a lawyer. 596 00:24:58,248 --> 00:25:00,667 If you can tell Eric, I wanna do kind of a looser one. 597 00:25:01,334 --> 00:25:03,044 Matter of fact, this dude. Excuse me. Could you-- 598 00:25:03,128 --> 00:25:06,214 Could you just fuck off out of my eyeline just a hair? 599 00:25:06,297 --> 00:25:07,882 Thanks, mate. Really appreciate it. Yeah. 600 00:25:07,966 --> 00:25:08,967 Fuck's sake. 601 00:25:09,050 --> 00:25:11,594 Come on. I really wanna see that label, Eric. 602 00:25:11,678 --> 00:25:13,179 Come on. Let's sell some milk. 603 00:25:14,431 --> 00:25:15,849 Can you hold the milk higher? 604 00:25:16,433 --> 00:25:17,642 Mm-hmm. Yes, sir. 605 00:25:20,562 --> 00:25:21,604 Closer to your face. 606 00:25:22,856 --> 00:25:23,898 There? 607 00:25:25,525 --> 00:25:26,526 Lower. 608 00:25:27,736 --> 00:25:28,737 Lower. 609 00:25:29,821 --> 00:25:30,822 Yeah. 610 00:25:32,115 --> 00:25:33,491 Okay, let's go. 611 00:25:33,575 --> 00:25:35,577 Come on. Let's sell some milk. Let's go. 612 00:25:37,871 --> 00:25:40,498 All right, Eric, my good sir. 613 00:25:40,957 --> 00:25:42,125 Ready for another take. 614 00:25:57,015 --> 00:26:01,728 Ni hao. I want to apologize to the President of China... 615 00:26:02,020 --> 00:26:05,065 the government of China. The people of China... 616 00:26:05,148 --> 00:26:07,567 and, indeed, the pandas of China... 617 00:26:07,650 --> 00:26:11,446 for the deeply disrespectful way I referred to your homeland. 618 00:26:11,780 --> 00:26:15,325 Hello. And indeed, ni hao. 619 00:26:15,909 --> 00:26:18,828 I would like to take this opportunity to apologize 620 00:26:18,912 --> 00:26:20,038 to the people of China 621 00:26:20,121 --> 00:26:21,831 for a great many number of things. 622 00:26:21,915 --> 00:26:26,002 First and foremost, the 1991 buddy comedy Sweet & Sour. 623 00:26:26,086 --> 00:26:28,380 Having had the chance to reflect, and having spoken 624 00:26:28,463 --> 00:26:31,007 to a number of leading Chinese academics... 625 00:26:31,508 --> 00:26:34,386 I can now see that elements of my portrayal 626 00:26:34,469 --> 00:26:38,723 of Professor Zhao were inappropriate, inaccurate 627 00:26:38,807 --> 00:26:42,060 and, while deeply funny at the time and indeed lauded 628 00:26:42,143 --> 00:26:44,854 as "stir-fried fun" by Roger Ebert... 629 00:26:45,605 --> 00:26:49,901 incredibly painful to many thousands, if not millions of people. 630 00:26:49,984 --> 00:26:54,155 I am, as ever, grateful for this learning opportunity. 631 00:26:55,198 --> 00:26:57,784 And I know that now it's time for me to stop talking 632 00:26:57,867 --> 00:26:59,119 and start listening. 633 00:26:59,703 --> 00:27:03,873 My audiobook, You're Welcome Darling is available now, with a full 634 00:27:03,957 --> 00:27:05,625 speaking tour to follow in the spring. 635 00:27:05,750 --> 00:27:09,004 Thank you and zai jain. 636 00:27:11,047 --> 00:27:12,048 Shishi. 637 00:27:13,675 --> 00:27:15,135 And I would like to add... 638 00:27:15,969 --> 00:27:18,471 that this milk is utterly delicious.