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Now, please welcome the star of stage and screen, and sometimes comedy,
everyone's favorite flavor, Peppermint.
♪ Always keep me waitin'
♪ You never come on time
Whoo!
♪ Text me every minute
♪ And then you don't reply
♪ And you ain't got no money
♪ Hmm, and you ain't got no place
Where we gonna go?
♪ You're always undercover
♪ All torso and no face
Y'all know which app I'm talking about.
♪ And you don't want nobody seeing me with you
♪ And you ain't got no time for me until you do
♪ Always lying, why can't you just tell the truth?
♪ There's only one reason that I fucks with you
♪ You got the best sex
♪ Ooh, boy, you got the best sex
Ooh.
♪ As for the rest
♪ Next
Aah.
♪ But boy, you got the best sex
Oh, my gosh.
♪ You can't make conversation
♪ All your talk is cheap
About 26 cents.
♪ Hollering at my girlfriend's
Mm-hmm.
♪ They told me just last week
Yohara and Shaquanda said you DMed them.
♪ You never keep a promise
♪ You're always lying through your teeth
♪ And you never know your status
Uh-uh.
♪ But then you ask me if I'm clean
♪ And you don't want nobody seeing me with you.
♪ You ain't got no time for me until you do
♪ Never give me notice when you're swinging through
♪ Now, you ain't got too much, but I know this much is true
♪ You've got the best sex
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, wait! Don't move!
♪ Ooh, boy, you got the best sex
♪ Hmm
♪ As for the rest
♪ Next
♪ But boy, you got the best sex
♪ And I hate that it's all that I know
♪ But I love how you come and you go
♪ Now let me get the door
♪ So you can hit the road
♪ You're only good for one thing, boy
♪ You've got the best sex
♪ No, no, no, no
♪ Ooh, boy, you got the best sex
Gosh. All right, come on over.
♪ As for the rest
♪ Next
♪ Hmm
♪ But boy, you got the best
♪ Sex ♪
Oh, my God.
Thanks. Bye.
Oh, thank you.
-Yeah! -Yeah!
Yeah!
True story.
Hello, y'all, my name is Peppermint.
I've a feeling you knew that.
Only because, you know, they said it,
on the microphone before I came out.
-Love you. -Oh, I love you, baby.
Thank you so much, darling.
Well, uh, that song was called "Best Sex,"
and, uh, it's basically about all of the...
It's about fuckboys. It's about fuckboys.
I know it's a curse, but I feel like you can kind of say that now.
It's about fuckboys, okay?
And anybody can be a fuckboy.
Regardless of what you got going on.
Couple of y'all probably in this audience,
and before the end of tonight, we're going to find out who you are.
Okay?
So, welcome, y'all, to the show.
Yes.
I want to know who's up in this audience.
Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute.
If you live in New York City, make some noise right now. Put your hands right up.
Oh!
Yes.
-Mm-hmm. -Yeah!
Are there any, um,
heterosexuals in the audience tonight?
Okay.
That was the most shame-ridden applause.
Whoo!
You're on our turf now, honey.
Whoo!
Okay, where my single folks at?
Make some noise. Single folks. Hey!
Ooh!
If you're in a relationship, let me hear you make some noise.
What, you feel special?
That's nice.
Anybody in a long term relationship?
Yeah?
Okay. Are we together right now? The two of y'all.
Hello, gorgeouses. Ow.
You look like a sexy couple. I like it.
How'd y'all meet?
Oh, shit.
Honey, you know, when you ask some queer folks how they met, it's...
Look, pull up a chair, bitch.
And first of all, are you a law enforcement officer?
I'm not.
So wait, how-ish did y'all meet?
You can give us like the...
Ooh.
Okay, already too much, honey.
Did you meet online or in person?
That's all I want to know.
-In person. -In per... In per... Okay.
Oh, you met on the train.
Oh, it was a late night kind of thing.
I've been there.
We might have met if you'd just waited ten minutes.
You know, I go back and forth between...
thinking I want to get married or be single,
and I'm not quite sure.
Who wants to get married? Make some noise.
Okay, no, listen.
The rest of y'all don't wanna get... Listen.
Getting married actually could be a really good thing,
and not for the reasons you think.
I mean, I want to get married
because I am tired
of the motherfucking dating scene.
I'm over it.
The apps.
And for most people, of course, everybody knows dating is hard.
It really is.
But for queer people
and trans people, dating...
is terrible.
Dating, while trans,
that's the... I'ma talk about it.
Dating while motherfucking trans.
Damn.
Make me sick already.
So if you're dating, if you're a trans woman and you date...
...cisgender straight men,
Now I feel... Now I know why the straight person was like, uh...
Goddamn it!
if you... if you're a trans woman and you date men,
It's like... it's like dating the Babadook, okay?
Never in public.
Always at night.
And honey, he has been under all your friends in their beds, too.
I mean, it's the truth.
Ooh, child. I wish some of these straight guys
were actually as fictitious as the damn Babadook, okay?
Okay, let me tell you.
I was dating this one guy.
If you could call it dating.
Okay, we fought and he started crying, basically.
And I'm like, "Damn,
"you must have got some pepper in your eyes."
And then I realized, "Uh, no, no."
He's just doing something we in the trans community call
"After sex side effects."
That's right. Sit down. You're already sitting.
I call them "After sex society effects," okay?
'Cause these men love what they're doing.
Honey, they know who we are.
They know what they are getting.
And they live for it until...
they worry about what the society might have to say later on.
It's the truth, child.
You know, and they come in all varieties.
Yeah, uh-huh.
Like this one guy,
I had to stop sleeping with his ass.
'Cause, uh, like clockwork,
he'd come,
and he'd tell me how amazing it was.
You know? I mean, come on.
We already knew that.
And then he would vomit all over my house.
It's the truth. Every damn time.
I'm talking everywhere.
Bathroom, kitchen, bedroom,
everywhere but the toilet.
And I liked him.
I liked his behind, so I bought him a bucket.
But he kept missing.
Eventually, I had to cut him off.
But the wildest society effect I have ever experienced...
...was this dude that... Honey, okay, let me tell you.
He put in the work.
He put in the work, If you know what I'm saying,
y'all, okay?
So here's what happened.
We get done, you know, doing the do.
And he asked if he could take a shower
and I'm like, "Yeah, I mean, the soap's on the left."
And he's like, uh, "Do you have anything stronger than soap?"
I'm like, "Damn, what's stronger than soap?"
You want some bleach?
And he's like, "Yes".
Oh, hell no.
So,
then he uses my entire bottle of bleach
to bathe his whole ass.
It's true.
-No. -Yes.
It's true, and I'm like,
"Please.
"Please don't use it all. I got to clean up some vomit."
"Please."
And I'm watching him clean himself
and, uh, you know, rinse the bleach all down his body
and I'm starting to see my dignity go right down the drain.
Hmm.
And I said, "To hell with that.
"To hell with that.
"I am never dating again.
Whoo!
So the next week, I'm on another date, y'all.
You know.
You know, 'cause the bitch can't not date.
I mean...
Whoo!
I spread my number everywhere.
But seriously, y'all.
I did take a break from dating for a couple of months, you know?
And when I started again,
I started a few months later with...
just a different self in mind.
I totally changed.
I was different. I...
wanted commitment.
I deserved it.
Mm-hmm.
But...
on my search for commitment,
I discovered...
I also have a kind of hidden talent.
Oh, yes.
I... I will. I'll tell you.
I discovered...
that I was a translator.
Not languages, not languages.
Basically, I transform decent men into better men
for later relationships with other women.
And as trans women, you know, we go through a lot of
personal and emotional transitions, which means...
we transcend to maturity quicker than the average person.
Yes.
So when our partners, when they're with us,
they're essentially getting a free master class
on how not to be a bad boyfriend.
You know?
I dated this one guy,
Tim. Mm-hmm.
Hold it. Just wait.
We dated for about a year and you know,
he was really confident and sexy,
and he stood a whopping six-foot seven inches tall.
Just kidding. Just kidding.
Now, look, y'all, I'm 6'1, okay?
I am a very big girl. Okay? I know.
Honey, I mean, I like it, too.
And he liked it, too. I never thought
that I would get to feel what dainty felt like, you know what I mean?
But with him, he made me feel so petite.
We would walk down the street
and he would just snuggle me up in his armpit.
I can still smell his musk.
It was all right. I started... Eventually grew to like it.
And he never shied away from it. He'll be like, "Come on, baby".
Yes, yes. And as a trans woman,
I've got to be honest with you. I am...
I know I have this in common with a lot of queer folks too.
I am aware of everything.
Okay?
You know, we have to be. We have to be, like,
hyper aware. Even when I'm at home, alone.
I'm like, "What is that? A fly?"
'Cause, you know, we never know where the threat is coming from.
Uh-uh.
A fly?
A legislation?
A children's book author?
Whose name I shall not speak of.
But it rhymes with "May kay flowerings."
Mm-mmm. But not Tim.
He was the total opposite of me.
Mm-hmm.
And he never cared.
He never cared what people thought
or what they were looking at, what they had to say,
or if they were judging us.
So I had to ask him one day,
"You don't worry what people think when they see us?"
"Of course not.
"I'm a six-foot-seven white man.
"I am the people."
It's true. But ooh...
I mean, I thought, what kind of privilege is that?
I am a Black trans woman.
I can only dream of that kind of freedom, okay?
And as much as I love me some tall Tim,
in the end, it didn't work.
So, you know,
I found out I was just his translator.
Well, let me tell you, they always circle back
with some kind of messed up unwanted update, okay?
So, like, a year later, after we broke up, he texts me.
"Thank you so much for making me a better man.
"I am so happy
"now that I'm with Tammy.
"And it's all because of you."
Mmm.
Thank you?
But I wasn't too heartbroken because I actually was on tour.
I poured myself into my work
and I was touring all over the world.
Making money.
And...
I was on tour in Ireland,
where I met Sean.
Bop.
I like to call him my lucky charm.
'Cause he was magically delicious.
If you know what I'm trying to say to you.
And we were in a long distance relationship
for four years.
That's a long time.
Mm-hmm. And we made it work, honey.
We made it a point to get together every single Christmas.
Like clockwork.
And, you know, he and I were doing that pandemic type stuff
way before the pandemic, honey. Video chat?
Pssh.
Every week.
What can I say? I'm a trendsetter.
And date night. they were really special
'cause I would get all dolled up,
from the titties up.
Didn't have to... Well, anyway.
Some of y'all know what I'm talking about.
And we started having issues though because...
he was hiding things.
No, no, no. Look, don't get me wrong.
We were long distance, so of course,
he was hiding things. Hell,
this couple right here is definitely hiding something, honey.
And, you know, it's obvious that, you know,
we are not going to be telling each other the full truth
from 4,800 kilometers away.
So, come to find out...
He was always drunk.
Wait, wait. No, no, not drunk.
Irish.
But I let it slide 'cause, hell, you know,
we have been together for four years, right?
And so, all right. I loved him. I did.
So one year, I fly into Ireland
for our annual Christmas rendezvous.
Yes.
And I'm on my way to his house in a taxi,
and, uh, he texts me.
"Don't come."
Don't come?
Honey, it's Christmas. I come every single year.
Then he texts me,
"This ain't working out."
-What? -What?
Oh, hell, no, honey,
you're not about to break up with me
after four years over text.
No!
I mean, look,
it is actually very considerate because I am a very busy woman
and I think it's considerate of my time
as a lady on the go. But...
forget all that, "Honey, I'm on my way.
"And you better be there when I get there.
"And when I get there,
"you better be there."
Actually was a cell phone. It wasn't that... Whatever.
Whatever.
So when I finally get to his house and see him
and his new girlfriend,
Sandy.
Mm-hmm.
They were standing outside all drunk.
I mean, Irish.
And before I could even get out the car,
he talking about...
"Thank you so much for making me a better man.
"I'm so happy now that I'm with Sandy."
What? I don't know what Irish accent that is.
And she's like,
"And it's all because of you."
And all I could think...
was, "Damn,
"I'm translating kind of slow. Four years?
"Why'd it take so long?"
But I guess, you know, some meat need more work than others.
Well...
Here's the news. My last relationship, y'all.
I thought he was the one.
It was one of the healthiest relationships
I have ever been in.
I met his friends, I met his family,
and he was the epitome of unbothered.
Woke, if you will.
Mm-hmm.
And yes, if you're wondering, he was younger than me.
If you need a reference, think, uh,
Kim K. and Pete Davidson.
I'll get a tattoo.
And I love that we argued over simple little things,
like, you know, the toilet seat or what to watch or...
him touching my wigs. I told him,
"Do not touch my hair!
"Especially when it's not on my head."
We broke up.
Over speakers.
Speakers.
Speakers. Yes.
So he was an aspiring DJ.
-Mmm. -Aspiring.
Yes.
It's aspiring.
And he really wanted these fancy black speakers with the yellow ring.
You know, so me being the ball and boss bitch that I am...
I was like, "You want me to get you these speakers, boo?"
I mean, it's nothing. I mean, I'm...
on tour.
And he's like, he looks me in the eye.
And he says,
"I... I don't like gifts."
You don't like gifts.
You don't like gifts?
Who doesn't like gifts?
Hello?
That's like offering somebody a glass of water and they're like,
"No, no, I actually prefer to be dehydrated."
No, no.
All right. So I didn't think anything else about it.
Mistake number one.
So a month later, I go over to his house,
and, uh,
lo and behold, what do I see?
The fancy black speakers with the yellow ring.
So, I'm like...
"Boo...
"Where did you get these speakers?"
And he's like,
"Oh, my friend Trina brought 'em for me."
"As a gift."
Damn. I knew I should have bought them
damn speakers for him before. Dammit.
In fact,
I don't think that this is working.
That's me getting in the car and driving.
So, I'm on my way home.
Sad, devastated,
but also really excited
because I just concluded my first ever
normal relationship.
From beginning to end.
You know, just regular old relationship behavior.
Honey, no vomiting. Okay?
So in the middle of my celebration,
I get a text from him saying,
"Thank you so much for making me a better man.
"I'm so happy now that I'm with Trina.
"And it's all because of you."
God.
It's true.
I gotta get out of the damn translation business, honey.
'Cause this is not working.
Anybody got some bleach?
But seriously, seriously,
trans people have a very hard time, not just with dating,
but with other things, too, like access to health care.
Uh, bitch. I get sick, too.
Just kidding. Way too soon. Sorry.
♪ Just kidding ♪
I tested backstage. It's all good.
Or things like fatal attacks.
There's no joke for that.
Or sports bans.
Sports bans.
Sports... bans.
I mean,
I know I look good, but do I look like a superhuman athlete?
Me? Athlete?
People assume that simply taking hormones
gives a trans person some type of advantage, you know?
But I'm here to tell you,
before I started estrogen,
I would walk to the fridge.
Child. Now, honey, I got me a cooler on the side of the bed.
Okay? I ain't got the strength.
I ain't got the strength.
I'm a woman.
In fact, if they told me
that I had to swim the entire length of this stage
to save the world,
we all dying.
Sorry, y'all, would be very nice. But...
No, wait. Look, I can swim.
Well, doggy paddle in the... the shallow end.
But the number one thing
that has everybody
giving their damn opinion about,
is bathrooms.
Mmm-mmm-mmm.
Now, listen, meeting in the ladies room
is a very longstanding tradition. It is.
In fact, that is the place where I became a woman.
Okay. Thank you.
You know, like, where is this going?
And what I mean by that is it's the very first place
that I ever took my first hormone shot.
Let me tell ya.
It's sort of, I think, a rite of passage
to have a close girlfriend or chosen family
or someone give you your first shot
and welcome you into the sisterhood.
Because this was such a special moment
and a really big deal.
We chose the perfect place.
A public restroom.
In New York City.
Now, let me explain. In New York City,
you rarely travel all the way to someone else's house.
You actually just, you know, meet up somewhere neutral,
like a park or a cafe or a bar, you know.
So we decided to meet up for a celebratory dinner. Yes.
Dinner and shots, honey.
Hormone shots.
I don't drink.
So we met up at the famed Dallas BBQ in New York City.
'Cause nothing says womanhood like a $5 chicken plate.
Okay?
Uh, and for some reason, the bathrooms are always downstairs.
Now,
we waited until the restroom was clear.
And then we rushed together into the last stall.
It's not a big deal. I mean, visually,
I present lady.
But my voice...
So as the lady I am,
I, uh, I was not prepared for what happened next.
We get into the stall...
...and I pulled down my pants.
And she pulled out the biggest needle
I have ever seen in my whole life.
I was shocked at the size and the thickness of this thing.
I'm like, "My God, that is so big.
"Do you think the whole thing's going to fit inside me?"
I'm like, breathing and moaning.
Okay, keep going.
And I'm like,
"Is it in yet?"
Oh! Oh.
"Hey, that's not as bad as I thought it would be.
"Hey."
Put it in, baby, put it in.
And just then from the next stall we hear,
"Oh, Mary and Joseph.
"I can't believe there's a man and woman having sex in the bathroom."
Now we're scrambling to put on my clothes.
And then eventually, we make a break for it.
And just when we're walking out,
just in time to see the manager
and some little old white lady whose name I think was Karen,
running past us into the bathroom.
Mm-hmm.
As I passed her, I was like, "Too late, bitch".
Already injected.
Bop. Activated.
Okay. Well, you know,
everyone...
I can't...
ignore the elephant in the room.
Everyone wants to hear a little something
about RuPaul's Drag Race, I think.
Would you like to hear?
Now, y'all heard a lot about drag race, I think.
You know, if you're on Reddit, I'm sure.
For you.
$700, bitch, you fell for it.
Stupid.
Venmo me. Venmo me.
I think I'm banned from Venmo.
So here's my RuPaul...
Would you like to hear a little something about RuPaul's Drag Race?
Now everybody knows that RuPaul's Drag Race is pretty much...
the most popular show...
in existence. It's in...
every country, on every planet,
in every galaxy and solar system...
in the world.
But what a lot of people don't really know
is how it actually works, right.
Now, basically, you know, you know the gist of it. It's...
Basically they invite a group of drag queens to come
and compete every single week
and they have challenges
and they bring a lot of clothes and whoever does the worst
in the challenges goes home until there's a winner.
And a lot of the challenges are, you know, very um,
fashion related. You have to bring a lot of clothes and stuff like that,
so you have to bring a lot of stuff to go to the show.
Costumes, on costumes, on costumes. So...
Uh, it takes a long time to pack. Let's just say that.
So I'm at home packing.
And I was like, you know, let me binge watch.
This was 2016 when I was on the show, so...
Let me binge watch a show.
I started binge watching this show called UnREAL.
Which is basically...
Uh, it's a scripted series,
but it's about a reality competition.
Bachelor style.
Uh, kind of behind the scenes where...
they, um, you know, the producers of the show,
torment the contestants
and really... they do some really dastardly stuff.
Like convince him to start doing drugs
or drop out of school or...
You know... Go murder someone.
Like, what... It's kind of crazy.
And so I binge watched this whole thing.
And by the time I finish the last episode
and zip up my suitcases,
I am very paranoid.
So on the first day of filming,
this is the deal when you get there,
you're sequestered, right?
And so you're not really allowed to talk to anybody, you know.
They... they take your phone
and they put you in a hotel room.
They put some tape over the doors, so they...
know they know when anybody's left the room.
And you know, they take out the hotel phone
and they take out the TV
and they take out the bed and they take out...
It's... it's basically like jail.
So I'm sitting in jail.
And, so, there's 13 girls on our season.
For the very first day, there's 13 girls,
and they ask you to step outside your door
and one by one, they come and get you
and take you to the van.
So they ask you if you're ready, wait outside your door for five minutes
and then they take you to the van.
One by one, and they don't want you to talk
because they just want to keep it quiet until the cameras are rolling.
So you get down into the van
and 13 of us are riding to the studio.
That was the first day.
Now, at the end of the first day,
we had a surprise 14th contestant,
So, here's the second day.
Second day comes around and they knock on my door,
"Hey, girl, are you ready to go?"
I'm like, "Yeah, I'll be ready," she's like,
"Stand outside your door, I'll come get you in five minutes."
Okay. I'm outside my door.
Waiting for five minutes.
Twenty minutes.
A hour.
And I'm like, "Damn,
"this is taking a long time." And, of course, I am very paranoid
and I don't want to, like, break any of the rules,
'cause if you, like, break the rules, then they could kick you off the show, right?
So I don't want to get kicked off the show on the second day,
so I'm like, "Just follow the rules, bitch, just keep waiting.
"Just keep waiting."
So, like, a couple hours go by,
and I'm like, "Okay, this is getting kind of long."
So, I, like,
step out...
from my hotel door.
Peeking out.
It was kind of like that, you know, the game floor's lava, you know.
And then I finally, I creep down the hall.
And I'm looking for other hotel rooms with the tape on the door
'cause that's how you know where the other girls are.
So I'm like, "Oh, girl, are you there?"
Nothing. "Hey, girl, it's me. Are you there?" Nothing.
And so finally I go back to my room and I'm like, "This is just too much."
I think they might have forgotten about me.
So I'm like, "Okay, go back to your room, girl. Think, think.
"Maybe I can take a taxi to the studio.
"No, they have my wallet. Okay.
"Maybe I can walk to the studio.
"No, I don't know where the studio is."
'Cause they blindfold you. And I forgot to tell you that.
No, no, they don't.
So I... I finally get up the courage
to go downstairs to the lobby,
and it felt like, you know, I was going into this other world.
There's regular people just walking around the lobby,
minding their business and I'm like...
I go up to the front desk and the woman's like,
"Uh, do you need help?"
And I was like, "Yes, please.
"Do you know who I am?"
She didn't know who I was.
I was like, "I'm with the show."
She's like, "What show?"
I was like, "Oh, my God."
So I say, "Listen,
"Can I use your phone?"
She's like, "Yes". So eventually, I get the number,
and I called the producers.
I'm like, "Oh, my gosh, I'm going to call... Oh, my God."
Tring, tring!
"Hello, World of Wonder.
"Hi, this is Peppermint."
"Peppermint, what are you doing on the phone?"
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just...
"I'm at the hotel and...
"I don't know if I should wait or should I go to my room or...
"I mean, I'm still here.
"Did you notice that I'm not there?"
And she's like, "Oh, my God, stay there.
"Don't move.
"We're coming to get you.
"And you better be there when we get there.
"And when we get there, you better be there."
So I go back and I wait.
For another hour.
I'm like, "Good grief, this is taking a long time."
And so...
During that hour, I start remembering
all the things that happened in that TV show, UnREAL.
Like, "Oh, my God."
So eventually, there's a knock at the door.
And I opened the door.
She's like, "Hey, you ready to go?"
And I was like, "Yes."
So we go down to the car.
We're sitting there.
She's like, "Would you like some gum?"
I'm like, "No, I'm good, I'm good."
So we drive to the studio.
And I'm like, "Just get me to the studio.
"Get me in with the rest of the cast, right?
"Just get me in there."
And the studio's on the right.
The car goes to the left.
I'm like, "What in the hell is going on up in here?"
And they take me in the building and put me in a private room
by myself.
For about another hour.
I'm like, "Okay, they are about halfway through the day.
"They have to know that I'm not there.
"Do they know that I'm not there?
"Were they planning this?"
And then my imagination starts going wild. Like...
This is one of those challenge where RuPaul comes and says,
"Today, we're going to learn the dangers of not being on time."
Peppermint, sashay away.
That's what I thought was going to happen.
So I'm highly paranoid.
And a producer comes in
and he talks to me, and he just wants to make sure I'm okay.
And he's like,
"How are you today?" And I'm like, "I'm... fine."
"Ready to go."
And he's like, "We just want to make sure that you're okay.
"We take that very seriously."
They really did feel very bad
about what... About what happened.
And so later on I find out that, you know,
The person who drove us in the morning
was expecting 13 heads in the van,
and because we had an extra girl,
there was 13 heads in the van,
and so I get left behind.
And since it was... the very early in the situation,
nobody had gotten to know who I was yet. And so,
that bitch got fired.
I'm eliminating you.
Uh...
Well, that's the show, y'all.
But before... before I finish,
There's something I like to do
with my live audiences.
Shut off the lights. No, just kidding.
That's not this show. That's the next show.
I, uh, I like to do something that I used to do
in all my nightclub shows here in New York,
and basically...
write a rap and perform it on stage, live.
Would you like me to do that with y'all?
Okay, so this is what we're going to do.
I need three words from the audience.
Somebody give me a word.
Fuck!
Wait, wait, y'all.
Okay? You said fuck. Fuck!
What else? Someone from over here.
Weed. Okay, definitely high.
Okay.
Wasn't even enthusiastic about it.
"Weed."
Okay. That's what you said, right? Weed?
Okay, weed, fuck, one more, okay, give...
Wait. What'd you say?
Wait, say it, in the back row?
Icon.
Icon. Okay, I like icon.
So we have fuck,
weed and icon.
Okay, I'ma write a song.
A rap right now. Fuck, weed and icon.
Okay, so this is what we gotta do.
Those are the three words, okay?
We're going to start a beat in a minute, and I'm going to write a rap
with... using the words fuck,
weed and icon, okay?
And all I got to do is rhyme the words into the song, okay?
Fuck, weed and icon.
Weed, icon, icon.
Okay.
Now, listen, if I... If I...
If I do all those words in the song,
that means I won, okay?
I won the night.
Okay, DJ, stick it in.
♪ Peppermint
♪ Freestyle
Fuck, weed and icon.
♪ I was walking down the street just the other day
♪ I was with my girl, Yaharame
♪ We looked real good, we looked real fine
♪ We was going to the club about a quarter to nine
♪ We pull up to the joint, feeling so right
♪ Look and feel good
♪ Hair on tight
♪ Oh, my God, what's your weave on?
♪ You look like a motherfucking icon ♪
That was all right, that was all right.
What's the other...
Wait. That was icon.
Weed and fuck. Okay.
Let's wait for the chorus part.
♪ On the dance floor, feeling real good, real cute
♪ I got a black leather suit
♪ Forgot the word already, oh, luck ♪
Fuck! No.
If you listen, I did rhyme it. I said "Oh, luck."
Fuck. I got it. I got it.
Okay. Okay.
A weed.
Okay, I got this one.
Okay, let me get into it.
♪ Mmm
♪ Hmm
♪ Hmm mmm
♪ In the car, on the way home
♪ Going home, alone
♪ That's all right, I don't care
♪ I still got real good hair
♪ Radio on, feeling so cute
♪ My favorite song
♪ Look, you're the breed
♪ Let's smoke some weed
Thank you all so much.
Y'all are the best. Thank you so much.
Good night!