1 00:00:38,079 --> 00:00:41,625 What started out as a soy milk recall one week ago 2 00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:44,460 has ballooned into a full-scale outbreak 3 00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,755 across the greater Los Angeles area. 4 00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:50,676 The CDC has now confirmed a link between the outbreak 5 00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:52,302 and a deadly contamination 6 00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:55,972 at the Agnes Brand Milk Factory in San Bernardino. 7 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,517 This quiet, upscale Hollywood neighborhood 8 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,186 where soy milk flows like water has become 9 00:01:01,269 --> 00:01:03,522 the epicenter of this unfortunate crisis. 10 00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:05,941 Since the outbreak, several Angelenos have become 11 00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:07,943 infected with the Agnes virus, 12 00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:10,028 while others have sought refuge indoors. 13 00:01:10,111 --> 00:01:12,698 Pardon me, sir. Ted Sommers, Channel 11 News. 14 00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:14,866 How are you doing? Are you okay? 15 00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:16,785 Oh, shit. Channel 11 News. 16 00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:18,328 Love you guys. Love your work. 17 00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:19,580 Do you feel safe out here 18 00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:21,665 riding your bike on these streets alone? 19 00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:22,415 No, Ted. 20 00:01:22,498 --> 00:01:25,043 This is a fucking BMX bike, so I'm not afraid. 21 00:01:25,126 --> 00:01:26,503 But I-- I gotta go check on my boy, 22 00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:27,921 -so I'll catch you later. -Wait, sir. 23 00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:30,381 Can I trouble you for just a few more questions? 24 00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:32,050 I really gotta check on my boy, Ted. 25 00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:34,595 Understood. Be safe. 26 00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:36,680 This is Ted Sommers in the Hollywood Hills. 27 00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:41,142 Back to you, Sissy. 28 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,355 James! 29 00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:46,648 Open up! 30 00:01:48,399 --> 00:01:50,902 It's Bruce! 31 00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:24,955 Hey. 32 00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:29,626 You need to check on your homie. 33 00:03:30,836 --> 00:03:32,003 Hey, Miss Jones. 34 00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:34,881 I think it's something with-- with Emily. I-- 35 00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:36,633 Yeah, I don't know, Miss Jones. 36 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,343 Why don't you just call me "Beverly"? 37 00:03:38,426 --> 00:03:39,595 Okay, Beverly. 38 00:03:39,678 --> 00:03:41,888 You know, you should probably get out of town with everything. 39 00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:42,598 What, what? 40 00:03:42,681 --> 00:03:44,349 I said you should probably get out of town with everything 41 00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:46,392 that's going on, you know, while you still can. 42 00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:47,268 Are you kidding me? 43 00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:49,771 Shoot, I've got that cable TV man coming today. 44 00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:52,148 Well, I-- I guess you could just like, 45 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,483 I don't know, reschedule? 46 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:54,943 No, fuck no. 47 00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:56,862 That flip-flop-wearing motherfucker, 48 00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:58,947 he kept me on hold for three and a half hours. 49 00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:00,490 And then you know what he did when he came back? 50 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,576 -No, what'd he do? -He hung up on me. 51 00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:05,203 -Oh, I hate that. -Uh-huh, yeah. 52 00:04:05,286 --> 00:04:08,081 No, I ain't, I-- I am not canceling that appointment. 53 00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:10,542 No, I guess I wouldn't either. 54 00:04:10,626 --> 00:04:12,335 You need to talk to your boy, okay? 55 00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:15,631 I think there's something really, really wrong with him. 56 00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:16,632 Beverly, thank you. 57 00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:17,758 - Yeah. - I will. 58 00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:19,384 You can call me "Bevy". 59 00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:21,803 - Oh, Bevy. - Bevy. 60 00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:23,096 - All right, bye-bye. - Okay, all right. 61 00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:43,033 -Hey. -Dude, what the hell? 62 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,450 I've been trying to get a hold of you for days. 63 00:04:44,535 --> 00:04:46,286 Sorry, I've been trying to finish this new book 64 00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:48,496 for my publisher, and I've got like writer's block. 65 00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:49,831 It's been a whole thing. 66 00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:51,166 Bullshit. 67 00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:53,168 I know what this is. 68 00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:55,170 You're still depressed about Emily, aren't you? 69 00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:58,298 Yep, I fucking knew it. 70 00:04:58,381 --> 00:04:59,675 Come on, man. 71 00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:02,761 What's it been like six months since you guys got divorced? 72 00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:03,929 Five months and three days. 73 00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:06,222 And we just broke up. We didn't get divorced. 74 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,683 Whatever, okay? 75 00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:08,934 We have bigger issues to worry about, 76 00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:11,687 like the fucking world ending. 77 00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:13,438 -What are you talking about? -What? 78 00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:14,815 You're joking right now. 79 00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:16,274 No. 80 00:05:16,357 --> 00:05:18,527 You don't know about the virus in L.A. 81 00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:20,195 that's mutating people's DNA? 82 00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:22,155 A virus? 83 00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:23,448 How is it mutating DNA? 84 00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:25,283 What do I look like, a fucking scientist? 85 00:05:25,366 --> 00:05:27,160 All I know is people all across L.A. 86 00:05:27,243 --> 00:05:29,538 are turning into zombies after drinking this soy milk, 87 00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:32,874 like straight-up flesh-eating zombies. 88 00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:34,125 You're serious right now? 89 00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:35,376 Dead serious. 90 00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:36,837 Some symptoms, I'm told, 91 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:41,132 include headache, diarrhea, runny nose, vomiting. 92 00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:43,301 And it's happening, because of soy milk. 93 00:05:43,384 --> 00:05:45,136 Well, not just any soy milk. 94 00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:47,723 Agnes Brand Soy Milk, which was my favorite, 95 00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,349 so now I have like a whole new 96 00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:50,601 set of problems for me personally. 97 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:53,019 Like I tried putting regular milk on my cereal, 98 00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:55,105 and I started shitting my fucking brains out. 99 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:56,481 Apparently, I'm lactose intolerant. 100 00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:57,941 Who knew? 101 00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:00,151 Okay, yes, very good. You had me going. 102 00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:02,237 That was, uh, that was well done. 103 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,405 Very, very imaginative. Very funny. 104 00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:06,074 What are you laughing at? 105 00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:07,367 You went too far with that 106 00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:09,160 I'm lactose intolerant now thing. 107 00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:11,204 Still, very funny. No notes. 108 00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:13,832 James, this is not a fucking joke. 109 00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:15,166 Look. 110 00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:17,210 Oh, oh, oh, dear mother of God. 111 00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:20,255 Um, okay, we are witnessing an attack here. 112 00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:21,507 Are you getting this, Rick? 113 00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:25,135 Um, it appears that a jogger is being attacked by a gardener, 114 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,678 I think. Um... 115 00:06:26,762 --> 00:06:30,140 That guy is being eaten. 116 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,559 And it looks like they might be heading our way, 117 00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:35,020 so we're going to sign off here. 118 00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:36,146 Get me, get me, get me. 119 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:38,439 Ted Sommers signing off from the Hollywood Hills. 120 00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:41,234 Oh, fuck. 121 00:06:53,539 --> 00:06:56,082 Ain't your normal Tuesday, is it? 122 00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:00,086 Uh-huh. 123 00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:01,296 Okay. 124 00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:09,971 What's now being described as the Agnes virus 125 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:12,933 has deeply impacted Los Angeles residents. 126 00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:14,518 In response to the allegations, 127 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:18,313 the Agnes Milk Company has recalled 5,000 quarts 128 00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:20,273 of their well-known beverage. 129 00:07:22,651 --> 00:07:24,152 Dude, you mean to tell me the 130 00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:25,654 entire time you've been holed up here, 131 00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:27,781 you haven't once turned on the news? 132 00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:28,990 The news? 133 00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:30,867 Yes, James, the news. 134 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:34,162 It's something you watch on TV that isn't Star Wars 135 00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:35,205 or Blade Runner. 136 00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,582 Right, right, okay, thank you, Bruce. 137 00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:38,458 -I know what the news is. -That's great. 138 00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:40,418 Congratulations. I'm very happy for you. 139 00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:42,003 So what the fuck have you been doing? 140 00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:46,091 Honestly, I've just been keeping super, super busy. 141 00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:47,551 Busy doing what? 142 00:07:48,719 --> 00:07:50,470 Watching Star Wars and Blade Runner. 143 00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:53,014 -And also THX. -Right. 144 00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:54,015 And The Postman. 145 00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:55,976 In fact, I was actually just about to put Waterworld on, 146 00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:57,227 if you want to watch that. 147 00:07:57,310 --> 00:08:00,188 James, we do not have time to watch Waterworld right now. 148 00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:01,690 We need to get the hell out of here. 149 00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:04,442 Away from the zombies to a place with clean milk. 150 00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:08,029 And I hear that Seattle has great milk alternatives, 151 00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:10,741 like carob milk and hemp milk. 152 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:12,659 Hemp milk? How-- how does that even work? 153 00:08:12,743 --> 00:08:13,201 How do you make that? 154 00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:14,953 I don't know, but it sounds fucking bomb. 155 00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:16,287 Here, drink this. 156 00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:17,956 Uh, what is it? 157 00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:20,458 That, my friend, is a prairie oyster. 158 00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:22,753 James Bond drinks them. It'll cure your hangover. 159 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:23,795 What's in this? 160 00:08:23,879 --> 00:08:25,296 Just drink it, okay? Will you? 161 00:08:25,380 --> 00:08:26,632 Please, we have to get the hell out of here. 162 00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:29,425 If we don't leave soon, we may never make it out of L.A. 163 00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:31,928 I'm just not so sure I want to make it out of L.A. 164 00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,429 Like I-- I'm really behind on my novel 165 00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:35,516 and I feel like I'd rather just stay here and work on it. 166 00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:38,560 James, you're not gonna finish your book if you're dead. 167 00:08:38,644 --> 00:08:39,645 Don't be stupid. 168 00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:41,354 Besides, you're never gonna write anything as good 169 00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:44,024 as that one you did about trains and... 170 00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:45,526 -Trains in Space. -Yes, that one. 171 00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:48,529 That was good. That was so good, I almost finished it. 172 00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:50,656 Oh my God. High praise, Bruce. 173 00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:52,323 -Thank you. -You're welcome. 174 00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:53,575 Bottoms up. 175 00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:55,160 Attaboy. 176 00:08:57,621 --> 00:09:00,791 -Oh shit, dude. -What? 177 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:03,669 You have a bottled Agnes Soy Milk in here. 178 00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:05,962 Okay. Oh, that's the bad one. 179 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,673 Yes, that's the bad one. 180 00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,591 - Whoa. - I'm not touching that thing. 181 00:09:09,675 --> 00:09:11,677 Yeah, I mean, just leave it. 182 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:15,346 Well, I guess we are sort of leaving. 183 00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:22,312 Okay, so quick Waterworld, then we'll get out of here? 184 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:23,772 No, dude, we got to go. 185 00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:24,940 Come on. 186 00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,194 She hasn't called. 187 00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:31,613 Because it's over. 188 00:09:31,697 --> 00:09:33,281 Forget her. She's history. 189 00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:36,868 Here. 190 00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:38,119 Put these on. 191 00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:40,706 I just feel like I should call her, right? 192 00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:42,123 Like just make sure everything's okay. 193 00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:43,542 I-- I feel like I should. 194 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,711 No, dude. No. I totally disagree. 195 00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:48,046 Okay, Emily is a smart girl. She'll be fine. 196 00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,716 And-- and even if she isn't, who cares? 197 00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:52,092 Move on. 198 00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:54,886 Zei gezunt, as my Uncle Bernie would say. 199 00:09:54,970 --> 00:09:56,429 Seattle has everything. 200 00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:59,057 You will find a new Emily in Seattle, I promise. 201 00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:01,267 Yeah, I'm just gonna call her. I'm just gonna 202 00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:04,187 -make a quick call. -No, dude. Do not call her. 203 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,607 Come on, man. I'm trying to save your life right now, 204 00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:09,234 and you're literally fucking killing me here. 205 00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:14,740 What is that? 206 00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:17,408 No, this-- this is just a box. 207 00:10:17,492 --> 00:10:19,244 It doesn't look like just a box. 208 00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:21,371 -It's my Emily memory box. -You're what? 209 00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,206 It's an Emily memory box. It's not weird. 210 00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:26,376 -Oh, dude. That's disgusting. -No, no, no. 211 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,504 We need to throw that out now. 212 00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:29,170 -No. -Yes. 213 00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:30,046 We do not need to throw it out. 214 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,423 This is essential stuff. I can't just part with this. 215 00:10:32,508 --> 00:10:34,175 Essential? Is that what I think it is? 216 00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:36,302 Is that a Seal CD? 217 00:10:37,513 --> 00:10:39,139 Yes. 218 00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:42,684 Wow. I guess I never took Emily as a Seal fan. 219 00:10:42,768 --> 00:10:44,435 You know, you really shouldn't make assumptions. 220 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,021 -Hmm. -What if it's my Seal CD? 221 00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:47,606 -Oh, that's your Seal CD. Right. -Yeah, yeah, it is. 222 00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:49,232 I guess I didn't think about that. 223 00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:50,901 Name one Seal song, dude. 224 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:51,860 -Fine. That's like-- -One. 225 00:10:51,943 --> 00:10:54,279 -No, that's easy. -Fine. Cool. Do it. 226 00:10:56,657 --> 00:10:58,241 The Batman Forever theme. 227 00:10:58,324 --> 00:10:59,660 -Fuck. That is one. -That counts. 228 00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:01,494 -You gotta count that. -You got it, you said it. 229 00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:03,664 So, I guess end of conversation. 230 00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:05,791 Don't even-- Don't you dare! 231 00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:07,083 -No. No, don't do that. -Give me that. 232 00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,334 -Yes. -No, dude. 233 00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:10,504 We are burning this thing right now. 234 00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:11,922 -We are not burning that. -Yes, we are. 235 00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,006 -No, we are not. -We are burning it. 236 00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:14,675 Yes, because you need to move on with your life. 237 00:11:14,758 --> 00:11:16,009 No, I'm not gonna burn this. 238 00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:17,928 No. No. 239 00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:19,387 Okay. Okay. 240 00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:22,182 Alright. Won't burn it. We'll bury it. 241 00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:28,063 It'll be the worst time capsule in history of humankind. 242 00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:30,065 You're right. Okay. 243 00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:31,399 I'll get rid of it. 244 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:35,654 I just, I have to do it on my own. Okay? 245 00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:37,447 But I'll do it. I promise. 246 00:11:37,531 --> 00:11:38,782 Pinky swear? 247 00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:39,991 Pinky swear. 248 00:11:45,664 --> 00:11:46,039 Alright, dude. 249 00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:47,791 We gotta get the fuck out of here or we're gonna die. 250 00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:51,127 So, let's uh, pack our shit. 251 00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:54,506 Let's go. First thing I'm doing is getting you 252 00:11:54,590 --> 00:11:55,799 a Seattle flannel. 253 00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:57,467 - Nice. - You ready for this? 254 00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:58,802 -Oh, yeah. -Let's do it, man. 255 00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,303 Ooh, wait. 256 00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:03,264 What now, man? 257 00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:04,600 Who's gonna take care of Charles? 258 00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:07,686 Let's do it, man. 259 00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:10,689 but your goldfish might not survive the zombie apocalypse. 260 00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:13,692 Emily won him for me at the Malibu Chili Cook-Off. 261 00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:15,276 Right. Right. That's cool. 262 00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:17,779 But still, we're not bringing a goldfish with us. 263 00:12:17,863 --> 00:12:19,573 It'll get everything wet. 264 00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:20,824 There'll be water everywhere. 265 00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:23,493 Oh. No, dude. You-- you don't get it. 266 00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:26,663 It's not just about Charles. It's this whole place. 267 00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:28,331 I mean, this house, man. 268 00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:31,376 Like I've made so many great memories here. 269 00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:34,713 I've had all my greatest successes and failures here. 270 00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:37,215 What, I'm just gonna leave it all behind? 271 00:12:38,509 --> 00:12:41,261 Yeah. Otherwise, you're gonna die in it. 272 00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:43,597 -So... -Yeah, well, 273 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:44,931 maybe that wouldn't be the worst thing. 274 00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:46,600 Jesus Christ, James. 275 00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:48,309 Listen to yourself. 276 00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:49,561 All right? 277 00:12:49,645 --> 00:12:53,064 I rode all the way here on my BMX bike, because-- 278 00:12:53,148 --> 00:12:54,357 You don't have a car. 279 00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:59,029 Yes, but also because you're my best friend. 280 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:03,199 And you're not really acting like my best friend right now. 281 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,160 So you're acting kind of selfish, 282 00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:09,372 and crazy, and kind of dumb. 283 00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,291 So will you pull it together, man? 284 00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:14,836 You're right. I'm sorry. 285 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:16,797 I'm being-- I'm being a bad friend. 286 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,632 -Yeah. A little bit. -Should we like, 287 00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:21,009 I don't know, hug or something? 288 00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:24,220 Yeah, I guess. If you want. 289 00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:32,979 -All right. -Yeah. No, that was weird. 290 00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:34,856 -Didn't feel natural. -Didn't feel right. 291 00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:37,025 All right. Yeah, let's uh-- let's go. 292 00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:38,401 Yeah, let's do it. All right. Cool. 293 00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:39,736 Okay. 294 00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:43,824 Hey. See you, buddy. 295 00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:46,577 You're a good fish. 296 00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:50,413 Goodbye, old friend. 297 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,969 Oh my God, dude. 298 00:14:04,052 --> 00:14:06,387 Car fucking stinks. 299 00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:09,850 All right. Seatbelts on. 300 00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:11,893 Dude, I cannot wait to hit the open road. 301 00:14:11,977 --> 00:14:15,522 Going fricking 90 miles an hour, no seatbelts on. 302 00:14:15,606 --> 00:14:17,065 That's the downside of a BMX bike. 303 00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:19,860 You only go like, 30, 35 tops. 304 00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:21,570 You're going 35 on a BMX? 305 00:14:21,653 --> 00:14:23,238 Oh, hell yeah, dude. 306 00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:26,241 Fuck, Eldridge Street, Highland Park. 307 00:14:26,324 --> 00:14:27,826 Well, wouldn't that be like really embarrassing 308 00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:29,369 if that's how I died, during this whole thing, 309 00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:30,704 -on my bike? -Yeah, I mean, 310 00:14:30,787 --> 00:14:32,623 you really should be more careful on that thing. 311 00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:34,541 Are you serious? What are you-- what are you, my mother? 312 00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:36,668 Well, need I remind you about Johnny Willis? 313 00:14:36,752 --> 00:14:37,711 Oh my God. 314 00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:39,420 You're really going to bring up that fucking loser 315 00:14:39,505 --> 00:14:41,172 -right now? -Yes, I am bringing him up, 316 00:14:41,256 --> 00:14:43,925 because when Johnny rode away from school that one day, 317 00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:45,636 he had no idea what was gonna happen to him. 318 00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:47,137 And what happened to him, Bruce? 319 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,264 Lost his nuts. 320 00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:51,266 - He what? - He lost his nuts. 321 00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:54,603 He lost his nuts. And how did he lose his nuts? 322 00:14:54,686 --> 00:14:55,687 Can you-- can you just fucking drive? 323 00:14:55,771 --> 00:14:58,189 - No, I'm not gonna go. - I need to hear you say it. 324 00:14:58,273 --> 00:14:59,941 He flipped over the side of his bike 325 00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:01,276 and got his nuts caught in the chain. 326 00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:02,485 -Are you happy? -That's right. 327 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,404 And you want to be like Johnny Willis? 328 00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:05,781 Yeah, I want to end up like Johnny Willis. 329 00:15:05,864 --> 00:15:07,032 Really? You want to have no nuts? 330 00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:08,534 You want to have Styrofoam nuts? 331 00:15:08,617 --> 00:15:11,119 Okay, no, I guess not. Can you just fucking drive? 332 00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:12,453 Okay, all right, all right, great. 333 00:15:12,538 --> 00:15:13,413 I needed to hear you say it. 334 00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:15,123 -Thank you. -Good. You're happy? Drive. 335 00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:19,753 -Huh, that's weird. -What? What's going on now? 336 00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:21,171 It says I'm empty. 337 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,885 There's a hose coming out of my gas tank. 338 00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:29,345 What? Oh, fuck! 339 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,848 Someone probably siphoned the gas. 340 00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:32,808 Why would someone do that? 341 00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:34,976 'Cause gas is like $2 a gallon right now, 342 00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:36,186 and everybody and their mother's trying 343 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,312 to get out of town. 344 00:15:38,522 --> 00:15:40,023 All right, well, dang. 345 00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:41,650 I guess we have to stay here after all. 346 00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:43,902 No, no, we-- we just got to think 347 00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:44,945 of a better option. 348 00:15:45,028 --> 00:15:46,613 There's-- there's got to be something. 349 00:15:46,697 --> 00:15:48,532 Okay, I got-- I got an idea. 350 00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:49,783 Here's what we're gonna do. 351 00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:51,284 We ride my bike to the nearest station. 352 00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,036 You could sit on the handlebars. 353 00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,329 Want me to sit on your handlebars? 354 00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:55,539 - Yes. - What, 10 years old? 355 00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:56,623 No, I'm not doing that. 356 00:15:56,707 --> 00:15:59,000 Dude, you're gonna really make me ride by myself? 357 00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:00,502 - Yeah. - You were fine coming here. 358 00:16:00,586 --> 00:16:01,878 You'll be fine going there. 359 00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:04,923 Holy shit! 360 00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:08,051 You sure about that? 361 00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:09,553 Okay, maybe you won't be fine. 362 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,513 Uh, is that guy blind? 363 00:16:11,597 --> 00:16:13,306 He is. I mean, he can't even see us. 364 00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:15,350 I mean, it's a seeing-eye dog. Isn't that their whole job? 365 00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:16,810 Yeah, but the dog's not a zombie. 366 00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:18,103 I don't know how scared we should be. 367 00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:20,021 Okay, change of plans. I think you're right. 368 00:16:20,105 --> 00:16:21,773 -We should go back inside. -Yeah, okay. 369 00:16:21,857 --> 00:16:23,191 On the count of three. One... 370 00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:25,527 -Why do we count, just run. -Yep, yep, yep. 371 00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,658 - Go, go! - Go, go, go, go! 372 00:16:36,872 --> 00:16:39,457 Oh my God, dude. I've not moved that fast in so long. 373 00:16:39,541 --> 00:16:42,043 I know. I'm burning up right now. 374 00:16:42,127 --> 00:16:43,336 I'm so out of shape, dude. 375 00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:46,464 God, do-- do you think that's gonna hold? 376 00:16:46,548 --> 00:16:48,550 - Honestly? - Yeah. 377 00:16:48,634 --> 00:16:49,801 I have no idea. 378 00:16:49,885 --> 00:16:51,177 No, I don't know either. 379 00:16:51,261 --> 00:16:52,679 I'm just totally out of my depth right now. 380 00:16:52,763 --> 00:16:53,680 I have no idea. 381 00:16:53,764 --> 00:16:56,725 Completely flying by the seat of my fucking pants right now. 382 00:16:56,808 --> 00:16:59,686 If Dawn of the Dead or Night of the Living Dead 383 00:16:59,770 --> 00:17:02,814 or any of the deads have taught me anything, 384 00:17:02,898 --> 00:17:04,190 it's that if you want to stay alive, 385 00:17:04,274 --> 00:17:05,483 you have to stay put. 386 00:17:06,652 --> 00:17:08,069 Now that Seattle's out of the question, 387 00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:09,362 I think you're right. 388 00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:10,781 Damn it! 389 00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,448 Maybe they come up with a cure? 390 00:17:12,533 --> 00:17:14,826 Yeah, maybe. Or... 391 00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:19,289 maybe they just hit the big red button on us. 392 00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:20,415 No. 393 00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:21,708 Yeah. 394 00:17:21,792 --> 00:17:23,418 You think they'd really do that? 395 00:17:23,502 --> 00:17:24,670 That's what I would do. 396 00:17:25,837 --> 00:17:27,338 It's dark. 397 00:17:27,422 --> 00:17:28,674 I'm really dark, dude. 398 00:17:30,008 --> 00:17:31,217 So... 399 00:17:33,136 --> 00:17:35,013 -Waterworld? -Waterworld? 400 00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:36,807 -It's only right. -Wow. 401 00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,684 Okay, but I say we gotta-- let's rest for... 402 00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:40,101 -Like an hour? -About an hour. 403 00:17:40,185 --> 00:17:42,478 Yep. 404 00:17:42,563 --> 00:17:45,649 Bro, with all that gelt you made on your last book deal, 405 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,859 couldn't you have gotten like a newer TV? 406 00:17:47,943 --> 00:17:50,654 I-- I could have, but I hate change, so... 407 00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:02,624 Oh! 408 00:18:02,708 --> 00:18:03,709 Yes! 409 00:18:04,710 --> 00:18:06,002 Well, dude! 410 00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,380 Oh! Oh! Mm! 411 00:18:10,882 --> 00:18:11,925 -Boom! -Oh. 412 00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:13,426 Brownie! 413 00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:15,011 Wow, that is-- 414 00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:16,221 That's a lot of brownies. 415 00:18:17,388 --> 00:18:21,184 One, you can never have enough pot brownies. 416 00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:22,352 And two, 417 00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:25,731 you can never have enough pot brownies. 418 00:18:25,814 --> 00:18:26,940 Ah, yeah. 419 00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:30,235 Who knew how essential home video would be 420 00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:31,612 in a time like this? 421 00:18:31,695 --> 00:18:32,696 I did. 422 00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:36,116 Wait, wait, pause it. Pause it. 423 00:18:36,199 --> 00:18:37,325 What? What? 424 00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:40,996 The run time is two hours and 15 minutes. 425 00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:43,624 -Mm-hmm, yeah, it's perfect. -Could be longer. 426 00:18:43,707 --> 00:18:45,542 Yeah, I can stand it to be a little longer. 427 00:18:45,626 --> 00:18:47,043 -Me too. -How much longer? 428 00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:48,545 Maybe, like... 429 00:18:49,630 --> 00:18:51,172 -Nine hours? -That would be cool. 430 00:18:51,256 --> 00:18:52,257 Yeah, that's what I was thinking, too. 431 00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:57,178 But these chips aren't gonna last us half this movie. 432 00:18:57,262 --> 00:18:58,639 Okay, so what are you saying? 433 00:19:02,726 --> 00:19:03,852 Delivery. 434 00:19:03,935 --> 00:19:05,228 What? 435 00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:06,772 No restaurants are gonna be open right now, 436 00:19:06,855 --> 00:19:09,650 and even if one of them was, no-- no one's gonna deliver. 437 00:19:09,733 --> 00:19:11,985 Dude, in this economy, 438 00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:16,406 there's always something open and always someone to deliver. 439 00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:17,658 Trust. 440 00:19:17,741 --> 00:19:19,117 Yellow pages, please. 441 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:20,744 Okay, yeah, it's over there. 442 00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:30,295 -Give me a nudge, please. -Oh my God, you got this, dude. 443 00:19:30,378 --> 00:19:32,047 -There it is. -Yeah. 444 00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:34,049 -Phone. -It's right here. 445 00:19:34,132 --> 00:19:35,676 Okay. 446 00:19:35,759 --> 00:19:37,343 So we're gonna agree on a good place, then? 447 00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:39,262 -That's the idea. -Okay, great. 448 00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:40,847 Oh-ho-ho! 449 00:19:40,931 --> 00:19:42,140 Here's one right here. 450 00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:43,600 Abracadabra. 451 00:19:43,684 --> 00:19:44,935 It's open 24 hours. 452 00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:48,271 It's a wings and kebab joint. 453 00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:50,106 Yeah, but wings and kebab. 454 00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:51,357 I mean, we can do better. 455 00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:53,694 Dude, we're in a zombie apocalypse right now. 456 00:19:53,777 --> 00:19:55,486 We cannot afford to be picky here. 457 00:19:55,571 --> 00:19:56,780 You just said that we were gonna agree. 458 00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:59,115 You know, fine, just call 'em. I don't care. Just call 'em. 459 00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:00,033 -Yeah? -Yes. 460 00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:00,909 -Call 'em? -Yes, that's the one. 461 00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:02,786 All right, here it is. 462 00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,705 -5-5-5. -Uh-huh. 463 00:20:04,788 --> 00:20:06,247 -5-5. -No. 464 00:20:06,331 --> 00:20:07,498 -5-5. -Wow. 465 00:20:07,583 --> 00:20:09,167 Whoa, that's cool. 466 00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:10,168 They got 'em all. 467 00:20:12,671 --> 00:20:13,964 Abracadabra, this is Nancy. 468 00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:15,131 How may I help you? 469 00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:17,217 Wait, you guys are open? Sick! 470 00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:18,594 Unfortunately, we're the only idiots 471 00:20:18,677 --> 00:20:19,886 open during a zombie apocalypse. 472 00:20:19,970 --> 00:20:20,971 Okay, fine, fine. 473 00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:22,388 Um, so, uh, what's up? 474 00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:23,682 You guys still deliver? 475 00:20:23,765 --> 00:20:25,934 Uh-huh. Yeah, we are. - What can I get you? 476 00:20:26,017 --> 00:20:29,062 Uh, question. 477 00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:32,649 Do you guys do the wings without the kebabs 478 00:20:32,733 --> 00:20:35,068 or is it like, a package deal sitch? 479 00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:35,736 Great question. 480 00:20:35,819 --> 00:20:39,155 You can order wings, whatever tickles your fancy, sweetheart. 481 00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:44,119 Awesome. Uh, let's do, uh, 50-piece? 482 00:20:44,202 --> 00:20:44,870 50-piece. - No. 483 00:20:44,953 --> 00:20:46,121 We're gonna be here for a while. 484 00:20:46,204 --> 00:20:47,748 We better make that a 100. 485 00:20:47,831 --> 00:20:48,790 100-piece-- - Oh, lots of ranch. 486 00:20:48,874 --> 00:20:49,916 Lots of ranch. 487 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:50,291 Extra ranch, got it. 488 00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:51,710 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you, uh-- 489 00:20:51,793 --> 00:20:52,586 Where's all this going, sweety? 490 00:20:52,669 --> 00:20:54,212 Oh, you need my address? Right. Uh, uh-- 491 00:20:54,295 --> 00:20:55,589 If you want the food, I need the address. 492 00:20:55,672 --> 00:20:57,007 -What is it? -6-1-8-6. 493 00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:59,050 6-1-8-6 Wildfire Lane. 494 00:20:59,134 --> 00:21:00,051 Okay, give us about an hour. 495 00:21:00,135 --> 00:21:02,303 Yep. 496 00:21:02,387 --> 00:21:03,805 -Hell yeah. -Okay. All right. 497 00:21:03,889 --> 00:21:05,306 Awesome. 498 00:21:07,308 --> 00:21:08,560 Dude, there's never been a great movie 499 00:21:08,644 --> 00:21:09,728 without Jeanne Tripplehorn. 500 00:21:09,811 --> 00:21:12,063 No, if you want a hit, you gotta have her in it. 501 00:21:12,147 --> 00:21:13,940 You know, I've probably seen this movie 500 times 502 00:21:14,024 --> 00:21:16,652 since it came out, and I'm just gonna say it. 503 00:21:16,735 --> 00:21:19,112 This one's gonna stand the test of time. 504 00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:20,446 The greatest movie of all time. 505 00:21:20,531 --> 00:21:23,199 It gets better every single time. 506 00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:26,119 A lot of people say that Costner's best work 507 00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:27,579 is Field of Dreams or Dances with the Wolves-- 508 00:21:27,663 --> 00:21:29,540 Hmm, uh-huh. 509 00:21:29,623 --> 00:21:31,332 Or what's the other one? 510 00:21:31,416 --> 00:21:32,751 -Untouchables. -Untouchables. 511 00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:34,419 I know that. I knew that. 512 00:21:34,503 --> 00:21:35,962 Yeah, well, it's Dances with Wolves. 513 00:21:36,046 --> 00:21:37,380 - That's what I said. - You said Dances with Wolves 514 00:21:37,463 --> 00:21:39,257 - and then you said The Wolves. - Whatever, dude. 515 00:21:39,340 --> 00:21:40,050 Look, I'm just trying to tell you. 516 00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:40,884 I'm just saying I-- 517 00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:43,512 If you're a real Costner head, then you gotta know the names. 518 00:21:43,595 --> 00:21:44,971 Of course I know Costner, 519 00:21:45,055 --> 00:21:49,475 but this movie right here is the peak Costner. 520 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:50,977 -Yeah. -This is it for me. 521 00:21:51,061 --> 00:21:52,521 Yeah, I completely agree with you, 100%. 522 00:21:52,604 --> 00:21:55,273 I mean, this is who Kevin Costner really is. 523 00:21:55,356 --> 00:21:57,358 -In real life. -Yeah, it's basically, 524 00:21:57,442 --> 00:21:59,778 as-- as far as I understand it, this is all true. 525 00:22:01,362 --> 00:22:03,448 100% true story. 526 00:22:03,532 --> 00:22:05,951 This is a biography about Kevin Costner. 527 00:22:06,034 --> 00:22:08,203 Do you think if they do hit the big red button that 528 00:22:08,286 --> 00:22:09,621 it'll be like Terminator? 529 00:22:10,956 --> 00:22:13,249 Dude, you mean like in Sarah Connor's nightmare 530 00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:16,587 when her flesh gets blasted off her skeleton? 531 00:22:16,670 --> 00:22:17,796 Yes. 532 00:22:19,881 --> 00:22:22,217 I hope not. That scene scared the shit out of me. 533 00:22:22,300 --> 00:22:23,384 No, it was the worst thing I've ever seen. 534 00:22:25,095 --> 00:22:26,429 Seriously? Is the food here already? 535 00:22:26,513 --> 00:22:29,307 Okay, dude, you stay put. 536 00:22:29,390 --> 00:22:31,434 -I'm gonna get this. -Wow, what a nice guy. 537 00:22:31,518 --> 00:22:33,770 My treat. I mean, not like-- 538 00:22:33,854 --> 00:22:35,606 Oh, yeah, you probably-- do you need money? 539 00:22:35,689 --> 00:22:39,484 Dude, I haven't had a job in like ever. 540 00:22:39,568 --> 00:22:40,652 -Of course, I need cash. -Oh, yeah, yeah, 541 00:22:40,736 --> 00:22:42,153 I don't know why I asked that. 542 00:22:42,237 --> 00:22:44,322 -Uh, there you go. -Give me, give me, give me. 543 00:22:44,405 --> 00:22:45,657 No, no, I gave you too much. 544 00:22:45,741 --> 00:22:47,784 No, that's good. That should be good. 545 00:22:47,868 --> 00:22:49,620 - Are you-- all right. - Yeah. 546 00:22:52,914 --> 00:22:54,374 Yo! 547 00:22:56,793 --> 00:22:58,795 Well, look who it is. 548 00:22:58,879 --> 00:23:00,631 -Shmemily. -Hi, Bruce. 549 00:23:00,714 --> 00:23:02,799 I wasn't expecting to see you here. 550 00:23:02,883 --> 00:23:04,676 Yeah, well, that makes two of us. 551 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:05,927 What do you want? 552 00:23:06,011 --> 00:23:08,179 I just stopped to talk to James. Is he here? 553 00:23:08,263 --> 00:23:10,181 James, James, do I know-- 554 00:23:10,265 --> 00:23:11,307 Oh, right, James. 555 00:23:11,391 --> 00:23:14,352 Yeah, no, unfortunately, James is no longer with us. 556 00:23:15,646 --> 00:23:17,564 Did something happen? 557 00:23:17,648 --> 00:23:19,232 - Did he-- - Everything good? 558 00:23:19,315 --> 00:23:21,777 Yeah, dude. Chicken wings, coming right up. 559 00:23:21,860 --> 00:23:22,861 Chicken wings? 560 00:23:23,904 --> 00:23:25,697 Yeah, chicken wings. 561 00:23:25,781 --> 00:23:27,866 All right, Emily, you got me. 562 00:23:27,949 --> 00:23:29,785 James is alive. He's in the other room. 563 00:23:29,868 --> 00:23:34,039 But I just-- I don't think now is a good time, you know? 564 00:23:34,122 --> 00:23:36,207 -The breakup was one thing-- -Shut up, Bruce. I'm coming in. 565 00:23:36,291 --> 00:23:38,502 All right, yeah, just come right in. 566 00:24:08,031 --> 00:24:09,199 Hi. 567 00:24:10,659 --> 00:24:13,745 -Hi. -Uh, you wanna have a seat? 568 00:24:13,829 --> 00:24:15,038 Yeah. 569 00:24:23,421 --> 00:24:26,508 I know this probably isn't good timing, 570 00:24:26,592 --> 00:24:30,095 but I'm about to leave town with my girlfriends. 571 00:24:31,722 --> 00:24:33,056 Sorry. 572 00:24:37,936 --> 00:24:40,396 I guess I wanted to make sure you're okay. 573 00:24:41,523 --> 00:24:42,774 I'm not trying to get back together 574 00:24:42,858 --> 00:24:43,942 or anything. 575 00:24:45,485 --> 00:24:47,779 I just wanted to say bye. 576 00:24:47,863 --> 00:24:50,616 You know, in case anything happens. 577 00:24:50,699 --> 00:24:53,201 Yeah, I wanted to call you this morning 578 00:24:53,284 --> 00:24:54,452 for the same reason. 579 00:24:54,536 --> 00:24:55,996 Really? 580 00:24:56,079 --> 00:24:57,288 Yeah. 581 00:25:07,591 --> 00:25:10,135 Wait, so where are you ladies headed? 582 00:25:10,218 --> 00:25:12,220 We're going to Seattle. 583 00:25:12,303 --> 00:25:13,471 Seattle? 584 00:25:13,555 --> 00:25:14,806 No shit! 585 00:25:14,890 --> 00:25:17,225 That-- that's where we were supposed to go. 586 00:25:17,308 --> 00:25:19,853 Yeah, it seems like everyone's going there. 587 00:25:19,936 --> 00:25:22,230 -I guess it's the place to be. -We already be on our way, 588 00:25:22,313 --> 00:25:23,815 but we're having a little car trouble. 589 00:25:23,899 --> 00:25:26,735 Someone sucked the gas straight out of James' tank, 590 00:25:26,818 --> 00:25:29,362 so now we're stuck here, hoping not to die. 591 00:25:30,531 --> 00:25:32,949 But wait a sec, wait a sec. 592 00:25:33,033 --> 00:25:35,952 James, what if-- what if we went with them 593 00:25:36,036 --> 00:25:37,453 to Seattle, hmm? 594 00:25:37,538 --> 00:25:38,914 Oh, I-- I don't know. 595 00:25:38,997 --> 00:25:40,373 I wouldn't want to impose. 596 00:25:40,456 --> 00:25:44,586 I mean, is there even any room for us? 597 00:25:46,171 --> 00:25:48,006 It would be tight, 598 00:25:48,089 --> 00:25:51,552 but I guess I could ask my friends. 599 00:25:51,635 --> 00:25:55,430 One of them could totally sit on my lap if that helps. 600 00:26:00,060 --> 00:26:01,477 What? Just saying. 601 00:26:07,818 --> 00:26:09,528 Oh, shit! 602 00:26:09,611 --> 00:26:11,613 -Oh my God. -Oh my God. 603 00:26:16,367 --> 00:26:17,368 That's not good. 604 00:26:17,452 --> 00:26:19,037 Oh my God. 605 00:26:21,497 --> 00:26:23,458 - We need to do something. - Oh man. 606 00:26:23,542 --> 00:26:24,292 They just came out of nowhere. 607 00:26:24,375 --> 00:26:26,002 We gotta help them. 608 00:26:26,086 --> 00:26:28,171 Oh my God. 609 00:26:28,254 --> 00:26:29,172 I'm not doing anything. 610 00:26:29,255 --> 00:26:31,132 They're gone, they're already gone. 611 00:26:35,095 --> 00:26:37,347 - They can drive? - Apparently. 612 00:26:49,693 --> 00:26:52,487 I had all these plans for when we got to Seattle. 613 00:26:54,405 --> 00:26:56,617 I was gonna start an animal rescue. 614 00:26:57,784 --> 00:27:00,537 Tasha was gonna start a band and get signed by Sub-Pop. 615 00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:04,708 Sam wanted to open a cafe for computers where you could 616 00:27:04,791 --> 00:27:05,959 surf the web. 617 00:27:07,168 --> 00:27:08,795 That would have been really cool. 618 00:27:13,091 --> 00:27:14,926 I feel like this is all my fault. 619 00:27:15,969 --> 00:27:18,013 I'm so stupid. 620 00:27:18,096 --> 00:27:20,849 I should have never asked to stop at my ex-boyfriend's. 621 00:27:20,932 --> 00:27:23,434 -So dumb. -No, no, don't blame yourself. 622 00:27:23,519 --> 00:27:26,229 I would have done the exact same thing in your position. 623 00:27:26,312 --> 00:27:29,691 So, you were close? 624 00:27:30,984 --> 00:27:33,737 Yeah, they were my best friends. 625 00:27:33,820 --> 00:27:37,658 Look, I don't know if this helps, but, 626 00:27:39,618 --> 00:27:42,621 I have known some people who have died before. 627 00:27:42,704 --> 00:27:44,831 Not in the same way, of course. 628 00:27:44,915 --> 00:27:46,416 More of natural causes. 629 00:27:46,499 --> 00:27:48,418 But I know how it feels. 630 00:27:48,501 --> 00:27:49,419 It feels bad. 631 00:27:49,503 --> 00:27:51,713 Yeah, Bruce, I don't really think that's helping. 632 00:27:54,465 --> 00:27:58,469 Don't you want to know how I got through the bad times? 633 00:27:58,554 --> 00:28:00,514 How did you get through the bad times? 634 00:28:02,307 --> 00:28:03,600 I'm glad you asked. 635 00:28:03,684 --> 00:28:05,435 I usually put on 636 00:28:05,519 --> 00:28:07,813 the feel-good instant classic Waterworld, 637 00:28:07,896 --> 00:28:10,440 and you're in luck, because it's queued up right now 638 00:28:10,524 --> 00:28:13,026 and we're actually halfway through. 639 00:28:13,109 --> 00:28:14,945 Didn't this movie suck like a lot? 640 00:28:15,028 --> 00:28:16,905 -Oh. -Whoa, 641 00:28:16,988 --> 00:28:18,364 I'm not even gonna respond to that. 642 00:28:18,448 --> 00:28:19,741 -James? -Yeah, 643 00:28:19,825 --> 00:28:23,369 we try to not talk about the reviews of Waterworld, 644 00:28:23,453 --> 00:28:26,122 because we actually think it's really good and-- 645 00:28:26,206 --> 00:28:27,123 and we're not ashamed of that. 646 00:28:27,207 --> 00:28:28,499 Not ashamed. 647 00:28:28,584 --> 00:28:34,130 Thanks, but I'm just not really in the mood right now, so. 648 00:28:34,214 --> 00:28:35,632 Or ever. 649 00:28:36,925 --> 00:28:41,387 So you want to start it from the beginning? 650 00:28:41,471 --> 00:28:42,931 How is that? Like-- that's not at all. 651 00:28:43,014 --> 00:28:44,057 -James. -Yeah. 652 00:28:44,140 --> 00:28:46,727 -Can we talk in private? -Yeah, of course. 653 00:28:46,810 --> 00:28:48,228 Yeah. 654 00:28:50,188 --> 00:28:52,315 Oh, oh, I get it. 655 00:28:52,398 --> 00:28:54,275 You guys want me to leave. 656 00:28:54,359 --> 00:28:55,318 We'd like to be alone. 657 00:28:55,401 --> 00:28:57,028 Yeah. 658 00:28:57,070 --> 00:29:00,574 If anyone needs me, I'll be in my own private Waterworld. 659 00:29:01,617 --> 00:29:02,993 That means the toilet. 660 00:29:03,076 --> 00:29:04,661 -Yep, we got it. -We got it. 661 00:29:07,914 --> 00:29:09,457 Bye. 662 00:29:13,795 --> 00:29:15,380 Sorry about Bruce. 663 00:29:15,463 --> 00:29:18,550 I mean, he's just not um, good at stuff like that. 664 00:29:18,634 --> 00:29:21,637 Or anything in general, but you keep him around. 665 00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:23,722 Yeah. 666 00:29:23,805 --> 00:29:26,517 Well, look, I-- are you gonna be okay? 667 00:29:28,393 --> 00:29:30,228 I need to process it. 668 00:29:30,311 --> 00:29:33,148 That was probably the most horrific thing I've ever seen. 669 00:29:33,231 --> 00:29:37,235 Yeah. It's like a bad dream in real life. 670 00:29:37,318 --> 00:29:38,820 Yeah, it's so scary. 671 00:29:39,863 --> 00:29:44,034 It's like we're all just fighting to survive right now. 672 00:29:46,244 --> 00:29:47,704 What do I do? 673 00:29:47,788 --> 00:29:48,747 Where should I go? 674 00:29:48,830 --> 00:29:51,958 Well, I think you should stay here. 675 00:29:53,293 --> 00:29:54,753 I mean, until things are safer. 676 00:29:55,796 --> 00:29:57,964 - You sure? - Yeah. 677 00:29:58,048 --> 00:29:58,757 Thanks, James. 678 00:30:11,603 --> 00:30:12,729 Pfft. 679 00:30:22,030 --> 00:30:24,658 Hi, I'm James, and I'm a writer. 680 00:30:26,577 --> 00:30:29,329 Let's see what you got here. 681 00:30:32,916 --> 00:30:34,459 Wow. 682 00:30:34,543 --> 00:30:36,545 Impressive. 683 00:30:44,219 --> 00:30:46,346 Pinky swear my ass. 684 00:30:56,940 --> 00:30:58,191 Much better. 685 00:31:20,296 --> 00:31:22,340 So, how have you been? 686 00:31:23,550 --> 00:31:26,678 Since, you know, we broke up. 687 00:31:26,762 --> 00:31:30,891 Yeah, yeah, I've been-- I've been really good actually. 688 00:31:30,974 --> 00:31:34,019 Healthy. Um, really clear-headed. 689 00:31:34,102 --> 00:31:35,687 And just productive. 690 00:31:35,771 --> 00:31:37,105 That's good to hear. 691 00:31:37,188 --> 00:31:39,107 -I'm glad. -Yeah, yeah. 692 00:31:39,190 --> 00:31:40,358 How have you-- how have you been? 693 00:31:41,902 --> 00:31:43,945 Okay, I guess. 694 00:31:44,988 --> 00:31:47,032 Depending on the day of the week. 695 00:31:48,784 --> 00:31:51,537 In some ways, I'm still healing. 696 00:31:52,871 --> 00:31:54,414 Really? 697 00:31:54,497 --> 00:31:56,374 What-- is that surprising? 698 00:31:57,751 --> 00:32:02,714 I mean, look, I know that this is a pretty fucked-up situation, 699 00:32:02,798 --> 00:32:05,717 but I'm like really happy we're talking again. 700 00:32:07,135 --> 00:32:10,597 I guess this is the first time since things ended, huh? 701 00:32:10,681 --> 00:32:13,517 Yeah. I never even got to apologize. 702 00:32:15,018 --> 00:32:17,353 Apologize for what? 703 00:32:17,437 --> 00:32:19,189 For everything. 704 00:32:19,272 --> 00:32:20,440 Yeah. 705 00:32:21,650 --> 00:32:23,777 Care to be more specific? 706 00:32:25,904 --> 00:32:29,533 Yeah, I mean I'm just sorry for everything that you think 707 00:32:29,616 --> 00:32:30,659 I did wrong. 708 00:32:31,660 --> 00:32:35,413 Everything I think you did wrong. 709 00:32:36,331 --> 00:32:39,500 You were completely missing in action from our relationship. 710 00:32:39,585 --> 00:32:43,714 Okay, look, I have spent some time reflecting-- 711 00:32:43,797 --> 00:32:45,632 -Uh-huh. -On our relationship, 712 00:32:45,716 --> 00:32:47,593 and look, I-- 713 00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:51,847 I realize that you're the best thing that ever happened to me. 714 00:33:06,862 --> 00:33:09,823 I'd want things to be completely different. 715 00:33:09,906 --> 00:33:10,991 Yeah, yeah. 716 00:33:11,074 --> 00:33:12,951 I mean, different how? 717 00:33:14,620 --> 00:33:18,331 To start, I'd like us to be more honest. 718 00:33:18,414 --> 00:33:20,083 Great. Yeah, me too. Me too. 719 00:33:20,166 --> 00:33:22,043 Honesty is great. I love honesty. 720 00:33:22,127 --> 00:33:23,419 - Okay. - Yeah. 721 00:33:23,504 --> 00:33:27,465 Well, then how did you honestly feel after we broke up? 722 00:33:27,549 --> 00:33:29,968 -How have you been? -Very, very, very, very bad. 723 00:33:30,051 --> 00:33:31,177 I've been-- yeah, it's been rough. 724 00:33:31,261 --> 00:33:33,054 I knew it. 725 00:33:33,138 --> 00:33:35,098 How bad? 726 00:33:35,181 --> 00:33:38,769 Really bad. Um, drinking quite a bit. 727 00:33:38,852 --> 00:33:42,272 Um, just a little bit more than excessively, I would say. 728 00:33:42,355 --> 00:33:46,151 And listening to quite a bit of Yacht Rock. 729 00:33:46,234 --> 00:33:48,111 - Oof. - Yeah, I know. 730 00:33:48,194 --> 00:33:50,864 Somehow I've become like kindred with Michael Bolton, 731 00:33:50,947 --> 00:33:52,448 and it doesn't even feel bad or weird. 732 00:33:52,533 --> 00:33:53,825 Yeah. 733 00:33:56,327 --> 00:33:58,580 Yes! Chicken wings! 734 00:33:58,664 --> 00:34:00,624 -Hey! -Were you just right there? 735 00:34:01,875 --> 00:34:03,585 No. 736 00:34:03,669 --> 00:34:05,086 All right, let's please try to make this quick. 737 00:34:05,170 --> 00:34:06,129 Okay, I'm not gonna die for some wings. 738 00:34:06,212 --> 00:34:07,463 All right, all right. I got this. 739 00:34:07,548 --> 00:34:08,674 We'll be fine. 740 00:34:10,091 --> 00:34:12,594 -Yo, dude, come on in. -All right, pal. 741 00:34:12,678 --> 00:34:15,847 - Oh my God. - It's fucking crazy out there. 742 00:34:17,015 --> 00:34:19,434 -Holy fucking shit. -Holy fucking shit. 743 00:34:19,518 --> 00:34:20,811 - Rory! - Bruce! 744 00:34:20,894 --> 00:34:23,730 -Woo! Oh my God. -How long has it been? 745 00:34:23,814 --> 00:34:25,440 -Like five years? -At least. 746 00:34:25,524 --> 00:34:28,234 You look uh, good. 747 00:34:28,318 --> 00:34:29,528 You still look like shit. 748 00:34:30,987 --> 00:34:32,447 Funny guy. 749 00:34:32,531 --> 00:34:33,782 This is James. 750 00:34:33,865 --> 00:34:35,116 How you doing, pal? 751 00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:36,367 Make yourself at home, man. 752 00:34:36,451 --> 00:34:38,579 -Mi casa, su casa. -Thanks, pal. 753 00:34:38,662 --> 00:34:39,454 Here, let me help you out. 754 00:34:39,538 --> 00:34:40,539 Oh, here, you want to take it? 755 00:34:40,622 --> 00:34:43,249 Wingy, wingy. Yeah! 756 00:34:43,333 --> 00:34:45,085 Come on in. Chicken wings. 757 00:34:45,168 --> 00:34:46,545 Fucking A. 758 00:34:54,970 --> 00:34:56,847 So, uh, how do you guys know each other? 759 00:34:56,930 --> 00:34:57,764 Oh my God, dude. 760 00:34:57,848 --> 00:35:00,141 Me and Roarster here, we go way back. 761 00:35:00,225 --> 00:35:01,768 We were sandwich artists together. 762 00:35:01,852 --> 00:35:03,812 Bruce, don't shortchange yourself. 763 00:35:03,895 --> 00:35:05,731 You're much more than a sandwich artist. 764 00:35:05,814 --> 00:35:08,567 Sandwich fucking legend, this guy. 765 00:35:08,650 --> 00:35:09,484 Fuck off. 766 00:35:09,568 --> 00:35:11,486 Oh, I'm telling you, people talked about you 767 00:35:11,570 --> 00:35:14,114 for years after you left. 768 00:35:14,197 --> 00:35:16,658 They're probably still yacking about you. 769 00:35:16,742 --> 00:35:18,535 And this was at Subway? 770 00:35:18,619 --> 00:35:20,704 Yeah, dude. 771 00:35:20,787 --> 00:35:22,623 You better see this guy in the kitchen. 772 00:35:22,706 --> 00:35:24,290 He was doing stuff with sandwiches that 773 00:35:24,374 --> 00:35:26,167 weren't even on the menu. 774 00:35:26,251 --> 00:35:28,378 Had his own fucking secret menu. 775 00:35:28,461 --> 00:35:31,507 Julia Child meets Jackson Pollock. 776 00:35:31,590 --> 00:35:33,424 Totally experimental shit. 777 00:35:33,509 --> 00:35:34,551 Blew my mind. 778 00:35:34,635 --> 00:35:36,136 I was just messing around, 779 00:35:36,219 --> 00:35:39,472 you know, having a good time, that's all. 780 00:35:39,556 --> 00:35:41,349 What are you up to these days? You a chef? 781 00:35:41,432 --> 00:35:42,601 You reinvent food? 782 00:35:42,684 --> 00:35:46,354 No, but I did go to culinary school actually. 783 00:35:46,437 --> 00:35:47,814 -I like to hear. -Yeah. 784 00:35:47,898 --> 00:35:49,816 I dropped out, though. 785 00:35:49,900 --> 00:35:53,486 But it's cool, you know, because I um-- I'm living off 786 00:35:53,570 --> 00:35:56,948 of Israel bonds and unemployment now. 787 00:35:57,032 --> 00:35:57,991 Looks like it worked out for you. 788 00:35:58,074 --> 00:36:00,952 I mean, you're living fucking lavish over here. 789 00:36:01,036 --> 00:36:02,704 Place is straight class, let me tell you. 790 00:36:02,788 --> 00:36:04,831 Right, yeah, but this actually isn't my place. 791 00:36:04,915 --> 00:36:06,332 This is James' house. He's a novelist. 792 00:36:06,416 --> 00:36:07,834 Mm, mm-hmm. 793 00:36:07,918 --> 00:36:12,589 It's uh-- you did the book, Space, uh, trains, trains. 794 00:36:12,673 --> 00:36:13,757 Trains in Space. 795 00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:15,008 Trains in Space, that's what I said. 796 00:36:15,091 --> 00:36:16,760 That was you, huh? That was sick. 797 00:36:16,843 --> 00:36:18,011 I saw it in the library. 798 00:36:18,094 --> 00:36:21,306 No shot I was reading it, but fucking A, dude. 799 00:36:21,389 --> 00:36:23,016 Oh, you're too kind. Thank you. 800 00:36:23,099 --> 00:36:25,101 Oh, dude, how much I owe you? 801 00:36:25,185 --> 00:36:26,812 Uh, $32.50. 802 00:36:26,895 --> 00:36:28,980 Right. 803 00:36:29,064 --> 00:36:30,941 There's 40 right there. Boom. 804 00:36:31,024 --> 00:36:32,651 Thank you. 805 00:36:32,734 --> 00:36:33,819 Always got to check with this fucker. 806 00:36:35,571 --> 00:36:36,738 Yeah, you never know. 807 00:36:36,822 --> 00:36:39,533 Dude, didn't you like fuck my sister? 808 00:36:41,159 --> 00:36:42,953 Listen, nobody knows nothing. 809 00:36:43,036 --> 00:36:45,246 Ah, 810 00:36:45,330 --> 00:36:47,791 Rory, my man. 811 00:36:48,792 --> 00:36:51,086 We got to-- we got to hang out again. 812 00:36:51,169 --> 00:36:52,963 Dude, why don't you just stick around? 813 00:36:53,046 --> 00:36:54,506 We got Waterworld, wings. 814 00:36:54,590 --> 00:36:55,423 I wish I could. 815 00:36:55,507 --> 00:36:56,883 I still have some deliveries, though. 816 00:36:56,967 --> 00:37:00,095 Oh, dang. All right, well, I guess he's got to head out. 817 00:37:00,178 --> 00:37:00,929 Come on, man. 818 00:37:01,012 --> 00:37:03,682 You're gonna risk your life for Abracadabra? 819 00:37:03,765 --> 00:37:06,142 -Yeah. -You're better than this, man. 820 00:37:06,226 --> 00:37:08,604 -What about your friends? -Yeah, you know what? 821 00:37:08,687 --> 00:37:09,771 For once, you're right. 822 00:37:09,855 --> 00:37:12,566 Fuck Abracadabra and the kebab wands. 823 00:37:12,649 --> 00:37:14,025 Yeah, fuck 'em. 824 00:37:14,109 --> 00:37:15,443 Hey, Emily! 825 00:37:15,527 --> 00:37:16,528 Emily! 826 00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:24,786 The last few days have been wild. Get this. 827 00:37:24,870 --> 00:37:26,955 Yesterday, I had to deliver to an orgy. 828 00:37:27,038 --> 00:37:27,789 No shit. 829 00:37:27,873 --> 00:37:30,375 Yeah, I show up to this huge mansion, 830 00:37:30,458 --> 00:37:33,837 all different walks of life, everybody's naked. 831 00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:35,506 The host, this guy named Russell, 832 00:37:35,589 --> 00:37:38,174 had the longest fucking balls I've ever seen. 833 00:37:38,258 --> 00:37:39,968 They were like down to his ankles. 834 00:37:40,051 --> 00:37:42,262 I love that. Love that. 835 00:37:42,345 --> 00:37:43,722 What I'm more curious about is 836 00:37:43,805 --> 00:37:46,266 how you've managed to stay alive this whole time. 837 00:37:46,349 --> 00:37:47,433 It hasn't been easy. 838 00:37:47,518 --> 00:37:50,353 I've almost been bitten like 10 times already. 839 00:37:50,436 --> 00:37:53,106 I mean, don't get me wrong, obviously, it's a dangerous job, 840 00:37:53,189 --> 00:37:55,275 but the tips have been incredible. 841 00:37:55,358 --> 00:37:57,485 We all know how expensive rent in L.A. can be. 842 00:37:57,569 --> 00:37:58,987 -Tell me about it. -Plus, there's everything else. 843 00:37:59,070 --> 00:38:02,032 You got gas, bills, food. 844 00:38:02,115 --> 00:38:03,825 Speaking of food, Rory, what are you waiting for? 845 00:38:03,909 --> 00:38:05,285 -Dig in. -Nah, nah, nah. 846 00:38:05,368 --> 00:38:06,411 I don't touch that stuff no more. 847 00:38:06,494 --> 00:38:07,579 I'm a vegetarian. 848 00:38:07,663 --> 00:38:09,205 What? 849 00:38:09,289 --> 00:38:11,875 You a vegetarian? No, come on. 850 00:38:11,958 --> 00:38:13,960 Yeah, for the last three months. 851 00:38:14,044 --> 00:38:16,421 Look, we used to call this guy "Meatball Rory" 852 00:38:16,505 --> 00:38:18,715 'cause he ate meatball subs for breakfast, lunch, 853 00:38:18,799 --> 00:38:21,051 -and dinner. -Those days are way behind me. 854 00:38:21,134 --> 00:38:22,302 I'm Tofu Rory. 855 00:38:22,385 --> 00:38:23,303 Come on, man. 856 00:38:23,386 --> 00:38:25,305 What's it been like, 90 days? 857 00:38:25,388 --> 00:38:26,557 You're still in the probationary period. 858 00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:27,265 You can eat meat. 859 00:38:27,348 --> 00:38:29,184 You-- you don't have to eat it if you don't want to. 860 00:38:29,267 --> 00:38:30,351 Come on. 861 00:38:30,435 --> 00:38:32,062 Dude, you drove all the way out here. 862 00:38:32,145 --> 00:38:33,522 You're not gonna eat with me? 863 00:38:33,605 --> 00:38:35,065 Your boy Bruce? 864 00:38:35,148 --> 00:38:36,191 Have one wing, one. 865 00:38:36,274 --> 00:38:38,527 Bruce, don't make him do it. 866 00:38:38,610 --> 00:38:39,570 You know what, fuck it, 867 00:38:39,653 --> 00:38:41,112 the world's ending anyway, right? 868 00:38:41,196 --> 00:38:42,447 I'll get one of these things. 869 00:38:44,700 --> 00:38:46,159 Oh man. 870 00:38:48,119 --> 00:38:50,706 -I missed this. -Welcome back, buddy. 871 00:38:50,789 --> 00:38:52,498 Got a little kick to it, too, huh? 872 00:38:52,583 --> 00:38:54,125 Actually pretty spicy. 873 00:38:54,209 --> 00:38:56,294 Dip it in some ranch, that'll cool it off. 874 00:38:56,377 --> 00:38:59,297 Ranch? Didn't I give you guys blue cheese? 875 00:38:59,380 --> 00:39:01,592 No, no one delivered blue cheese. That was you. 876 00:39:01,675 --> 00:39:04,720 This fucking guy Marco's been messing up the order all week. 877 00:39:05,762 --> 00:39:08,181 I guess I'll fucking suffer with the ranch. 878 00:39:08,264 --> 00:39:09,725 There he is, come on. 879 00:39:09,808 --> 00:39:11,643 Look at this guy. 880 00:39:11,727 --> 00:39:13,186 Reminds me of one of them zombies out there, 881 00:39:13,269 --> 00:39:14,688 right? 882 00:39:16,815 --> 00:39:18,233 So you two married or what? 883 00:39:19,359 --> 00:39:21,737 Us? No, we're not even a couple. 884 00:39:21,820 --> 00:39:23,947 Well, uh, we're a work in progress. 885 00:39:24,030 --> 00:39:25,866 Kind of like every couple I know. 886 00:39:25,949 --> 00:39:28,451 That's why my grandma wonders why I'm not getting laid. 887 00:39:28,535 --> 00:39:29,911 No one else is wondering that. 888 00:39:33,039 --> 00:39:34,040 Fuck me. 889 00:39:34,124 --> 00:39:36,668 I should not have eaten that wing. 890 00:39:36,752 --> 00:39:38,629 Already not sitting too well with me. 891 00:39:38,712 --> 00:39:40,005 -Uh-oh. -Ah, God. 892 00:39:40,088 --> 00:39:42,173 Don't tell me it's like that time you got back from TJ 893 00:39:42,257 --> 00:39:43,299 with Montezuma's Revenge. 894 00:39:43,383 --> 00:39:44,760 I'm telling you, if that's the case, 895 00:39:44,843 --> 00:39:45,969 we're all in trouble. 896 00:39:47,053 --> 00:39:48,429 You guys got a bedroom near here? 897 00:39:48,514 --> 00:39:50,265 Yeah, yeah, it's right out there down the hall. 898 00:39:50,348 --> 00:39:52,142 In fact, Bruce, why don't you show him? 899 00:39:52,225 --> 00:39:53,602 Yeah, I'll show him. 900 00:39:57,397 --> 00:39:59,399 Hey, man. I just want to thank you for your words 901 00:39:59,482 --> 00:40:01,317 of encouragement earlier. I really appreciate that. 902 00:40:01,401 --> 00:40:02,277 You know, I've always thought about 903 00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:04,696 -getting back in the kitchen. -You should totally do it, bro. 904 00:40:04,821 --> 00:40:07,032 Yeah, it's just the pressure, you know? 905 00:40:07,115 --> 00:40:09,325 It's like I got a whole bunch of new ideas I want to try. 906 00:40:09,409 --> 00:40:10,536 Like ostrich liver. 907 00:40:10,619 --> 00:40:12,538 That shit is fucking unbelievable. 908 00:40:12,621 --> 00:40:14,998 You slice it up real thin, and then you sauté it 909 00:40:15,081 --> 00:40:16,583 in salted butter. 910 00:40:16,667 --> 00:40:17,876 Where's that fucking bed? 911 00:40:17,959 --> 00:40:18,835 Oh, it's right over here to the right. 912 00:40:18,919 --> 00:40:20,128 Oh, fucking A. 913 00:40:20,211 --> 00:40:22,297 You have a little something on your face. 914 00:40:22,380 --> 00:40:23,799 Oh, where? 915 00:40:23,882 --> 00:40:24,966 I can get it. 916 00:40:31,181 --> 00:40:32,933 Thank you. Um... 917 00:40:33,016 --> 00:40:34,225 Thank you. 918 00:40:34,309 --> 00:40:37,020 Am I crazy or is there some flirting happening right now? 919 00:40:37,103 --> 00:40:38,354 You're crazy. 920 00:40:38,438 --> 00:40:40,190 We're just not fighting at the moment. 921 00:40:40,273 --> 00:40:42,192 Okay, 'cause it feels like things are going swimmingly, 922 00:40:42,275 --> 00:40:43,777 -actually. -Swimmingly? 923 00:40:43,860 --> 00:40:45,696 Mm-hmm. 924 00:40:45,779 --> 00:40:47,113 You're an idiot. 925 00:40:47,155 --> 00:40:49,365 Mm-hmm. Okay, all right. 926 00:40:49,449 --> 00:40:52,160 -It's your turn. -My turn for what? 927 00:40:52,243 --> 00:40:53,829 The new honesty thing. 928 00:40:53,912 --> 00:40:56,331 I was honest with you earlier, so now it's my turn. 929 00:40:56,414 --> 00:40:57,666 I'm game. What do you want to know? 930 00:40:57,749 --> 00:41:01,086 Okay, what is your beef with Bruce? 931 00:41:02,253 --> 00:41:04,089 What do you mean? 932 00:41:04,172 --> 00:41:05,298 Come on. 933 00:41:05,381 --> 00:41:06,800 There's something there. 934 00:41:06,883 --> 00:41:08,176 Like the entire time we were together, 935 00:41:08,259 --> 00:41:10,846 it seemed like there was a-- I don't know, a tension. 936 00:41:10,929 --> 00:41:13,264 And I mean, sometimes it even seemed like you hate him. 937 00:41:13,348 --> 00:41:15,475 I don't hate Bruce. 938 00:41:15,559 --> 00:41:17,811 We're just two very different people. 939 00:41:17,894 --> 00:41:20,230 -It's awkward with us. -Right. 940 00:41:20,313 --> 00:41:22,524 But we're very different people, too. 941 00:41:22,608 --> 00:41:24,526 I-- I just-- I don't know what the difference is. 942 00:41:24,610 --> 00:41:27,237 Like what-- like why is it awkward? 943 00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:28,530 I don't know, James. 944 00:41:28,655 --> 00:41:29,698 I don't know. 945 00:41:29,781 --> 00:41:30,824 Okay. 946 00:41:30,907 --> 00:41:32,492 I feel like you do and you should just say it. 947 00:41:32,576 --> 00:41:34,285 I just want to know. I got to know. 948 00:41:35,829 --> 00:41:38,081 Okay, there's this one thing I probably should have 949 00:41:38,164 --> 00:41:41,501 already admitted to you, but I haven't yet. 950 00:41:41,585 --> 00:41:43,670 So, here I go. 951 00:41:45,672 --> 00:41:46,882 Um, 952 00:41:47,966 --> 00:41:50,761 -this is so embarrassing. -It's fine. 953 00:41:50,844 --> 00:41:52,638 I just-- I got to know. 954 00:41:52,721 --> 00:41:57,142 Okay, before you and I were dating, 955 00:41:58,810 --> 00:42:00,646 Bruce and I, 956 00:42:02,438 --> 00:42:04,024 this is so stupid, 957 00:42:07,027 --> 00:42:08,028 we had a fling. 958 00:42:09,988 --> 00:42:11,532 It was a small fling. It didn't mean anything. 959 00:42:11,615 --> 00:42:16,161 A fling? Um, I'm sorry, with you and Bruce? 960 00:42:16,244 --> 00:42:17,788 Bruce, my best friend. 961 00:42:17,871 --> 00:42:20,456 Bruce, the guy walking around my house right now. 962 00:42:20,541 --> 00:42:21,833 Unfortunately, yes. 963 00:42:21,917 --> 00:42:23,168 Son of a bitch. 964 00:42:23,251 --> 00:42:24,753 -James, wait. -Bruce! 965 00:42:28,674 --> 00:42:30,383 Fuck, I'm burning up here. 966 00:42:42,896 --> 00:42:46,775 Fucking Christ, my eyes are... 967 00:42:47,776 --> 00:42:49,778 - Bruce! - What? I'm making a drink. 968 00:42:49,861 --> 00:42:52,238 I don't care. Tell me what happened between you and Emily 969 00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:53,824 before we were together. 970 00:42:55,491 --> 00:42:56,743 - What? - Mm-hmm-hmm. 971 00:42:56,827 --> 00:42:58,579 Oh my God, you told him? 972 00:42:58,662 --> 00:42:59,996 I had to. 973 00:43:02,248 --> 00:43:05,627 What the fuck is happening to me? 974 00:43:05,711 --> 00:43:06,878 Tell me everything right now. 975 00:43:06,962 --> 00:43:08,839 Okay, it's not a big deal. 976 00:43:08,922 --> 00:43:10,674 Nothing, basically nothing happened. 977 00:43:10,757 --> 00:43:12,217 If nothing happened, we wouldn't be having 978 00:43:12,300 --> 00:43:13,885 -this conversation right now. -I'll just say it, 979 00:43:13,969 --> 00:43:15,095 there was definitely some hand stuff. 980 00:43:15,178 --> 00:43:16,513 Hand stuff? 981 00:43:16,597 --> 00:43:17,305 -Yes. -Hand stuff? 982 00:43:17,388 --> 00:43:18,974 Okay, there might have been some hand stuff, 983 00:43:19,057 --> 00:43:21,685 but I swear to God, James, we did not have sex. 984 00:43:21,768 --> 00:43:22,644 It's true. 985 00:43:22,728 --> 00:43:24,479 I mean, we probably would have, but nothing ever happened, 986 00:43:24,563 --> 00:43:25,271 -because-- -Stop. 987 00:43:25,355 --> 00:43:26,898 You don't have to go there, okay? 988 00:43:26,982 --> 00:43:28,525 -She doesn't-- -No, yes, you do. 989 00:43:28,609 --> 00:43:29,442 Tell me why right now. 990 00:43:29,526 --> 00:43:31,903 Because Bruce got very excited by the hand stuff, that's why. 991 00:43:31,987 --> 00:43:33,655 Oh my God, okay. 992 00:43:33,697 --> 00:43:35,073 Is that everything? 993 00:43:35,156 --> 00:43:38,744 Then Bruce made me a sandwich and we shared it. 994 00:43:38,827 --> 00:43:39,828 Ch-- a sandwich? 995 00:43:39,911 --> 00:43:41,037 Did you wash your hands first? 996 00:43:41,121 --> 00:43:42,288 Yes, I washed my hands. 997 00:43:42,372 --> 00:43:43,707 I swear I washed my hands. 998 00:43:43,790 --> 00:43:45,834 I feel sick right now. 999 00:43:45,917 --> 00:43:47,502 Yeah, how do you think I feel? 1000 00:43:47,586 --> 00:43:49,755 I don't feel so hot myself. 1001 00:43:49,838 --> 00:43:50,964 What is he still doing here? 1002 00:43:51,047 --> 00:43:52,132 I'm sorry, are you wearing my bathrobe? 1003 00:43:52,215 --> 00:43:53,466 Did you just take a shower? 1004 00:43:53,550 --> 00:43:55,468 I'm sweating my fucking balls off, bro. 1005 00:43:55,552 --> 00:43:57,303 Is it hot in here or is it me? 1006 00:43:57,387 --> 00:43:58,471 - Oh God! - Oh, holy shit! 1007 00:43:58,555 --> 00:44:00,181 -Oh my God. -Oh, wow. 1008 00:44:00,265 --> 00:44:01,349 Is he infected? 1009 00:44:01,432 --> 00:44:03,018 I think it's just food poisoning. 1010 00:44:03,101 --> 00:44:04,728 That doesn't look like food poisoning. 1011 00:44:04,811 --> 00:44:07,105 Okay, relax, maybe he just you know, had 1012 00:44:07,188 --> 00:44:09,315 an allergic reaction to their hot wings, that's all. 1013 00:44:09,399 --> 00:44:10,859 Do you have allergies, Rory? 1014 00:44:10,942 --> 00:44:12,235 I'm allergic to cats. 1015 00:44:12,318 --> 00:44:13,444 I don't have a cat. 1016 00:44:13,529 --> 00:44:15,030 That is not an allergic reaction. 1017 00:44:15,113 --> 00:44:17,365 Okay, you know what, Rory? 1018 00:44:17,448 --> 00:44:21,494 Remember when you said that you almost got bit like 10 times? 1019 00:44:21,578 --> 00:44:22,913 Yeah. 1020 00:44:22,996 --> 00:44:25,248 -Did you maybe get bit? -Nah, I just-- 1021 00:44:25,331 --> 00:44:27,042 That looks like a bite mark to me. 1022 00:44:27,125 --> 00:44:29,460 Nah, I just got that at the orgy. 1023 00:44:29,545 --> 00:44:31,963 Okay, Rory, I'm gonna ask you a question here 1024 00:44:32,047 --> 00:44:35,050 and as crazy as this may sound, I need you to be honest, okay? 1025 00:44:35,133 --> 00:44:37,177 Yeah, the fuck you need. 1026 00:44:37,260 --> 00:44:38,469 Did you... 1027 00:44:40,305 --> 00:44:42,599 Did you have sex with a zombie? 1028 00:44:42,683 --> 00:44:44,017 Oh, shit! 1029 00:44:44,100 --> 00:44:45,226 - Oh my God! - Fuck, is that blood? 1030 00:44:59,866 --> 00:45:00,867 Thanks, Bill. 1031 00:45:00,951 --> 00:45:02,661 We have a warning about our next story. 1032 00:45:07,749 --> 00:45:10,376 James, I just wanna say I'm sorry, we need to talk. 1033 00:45:10,460 --> 00:45:12,921 Shut the fuck up, he's going to hear you. 1034 00:45:13,004 --> 00:45:14,840 You're right, you're right, we'll talk later. 1035 00:46:03,429 --> 00:46:05,140 Run! 1036 00:46:11,688 --> 00:46:12,606 Shut it! 1037 00:46:12,689 --> 00:46:14,190 Shut the door! 1038 00:46:14,274 --> 00:46:18,194 Oh, oh, that's Rory, he looks so terrible. 1039 00:46:18,278 --> 00:46:20,614 - Damn. - Jesus Christ. 1040 00:46:20,697 --> 00:46:22,282 I can't believe I used to be friends with him. 1041 00:46:22,365 --> 00:46:24,910 He fucked a zombie. 1042 00:46:24,993 --> 00:46:27,788 Oh God, that's the worst STD I've ever seen. 1043 00:46:29,581 --> 00:46:31,082 And I thought herpes was bad. 1044 00:46:31,166 --> 00:46:32,834 Disgusting. 1045 00:46:32,918 --> 00:46:34,711 - Where's he going? - There he goes. 1046 00:46:34,795 --> 00:46:37,297 Great. Oh, wait. Charles. 1047 00:46:37,380 --> 00:46:38,924 Oh, shit, dude. 1048 00:46:39,007 --> 00:46:40,884 -No, he's gonna eat my fish. -No, Charles. 1049 00:46:40,967 --> 00:46:43,053 Don't do it, Rory. 1050 00:46:43,136 --> 00:46:45,055 - Charles. - I'm sorry, dude. 1051 00:46:45,138 --> 00:46:46,932 Motherfucker. 1052 00:46:47,015 --> 00:46:48,141 No, this bitch has to die. 1053 00:46:48,224 --> 00:46:50,393 - James! - James no, James, stop! 1054 00:46:50,476 --> 00:46:52,688 Jesus Christ, I don't care, I don't care. 1055 00:46:52,771 --> 00:46:53,814 Oh, he's coming back. 1056 00:46:57,568 --> 00:46:58,902 I don't think he knows how to get out. 1057 00:46:58,985 --> 00:47:02,531 No, he-- I think we're-- I think we're safe out here. 1058 00:47:02,614 --> 00:47:04,575 Yeah, yeah, no, it's perfect. This is great. 1059 00:47:04,658 --> 00:47:07,869 We got the zombie locked inside, and then we're locked outside 1060 00:47:07,953 --> 00:47:09,204 where all the zombies are. It's great. 1061 00:47:09,287 --> 00:47:10,831 Yeah, another zombie could show up any moment. 1062 00:47:10,914 --> 00:47:12,165 I honestly hope one does. 1063 00:47:12,248 --> 00:47:13,875 I would love to just fucking die right now. 1064 00:47:13,959 --> 00:47:15,919 In fact, zombies! Come and fucking eat me! 1065 00:47:16,002 --> 00:47:18,922 Hey! James, I know you're angry right now about the hookup, 1066 00:47:19,005 --> 00:47:19,923 but can you just put that on the back burner for a second? 1067 00:47:20,006 --> 00:47:21,550 Ew, the hookup. 1068 00:47:21,633 --> 00:47:22,551 Yeah, dude, come on. 1069 00:47:22,634 --> 00:47:23,927 Don't you want to survive here? 1070 00:47:24,010 --> 00:47:25,303 Just think about it. 1071 00:47:25,386 --> 00:47:27,514 What would they do in the zombie movies? 1072 00:47:27,598 --> 00:47:30,266 I've never seen a zombie movie where my best friend 1073 00:47:30,350 --> 00:47:31,810 tries to bang my girlfriend. 1074 00:47:31,893 --> 00:47:33,436 Okay, what is this, 1985? 1075 00:47:33,520 --> 00:47:35,438 I didn't try to bang your girlfriend, 1076 00:47:35,522 --> 00:47:36,648 and she wasn't even your girlfriend then. 1077 00:47:36,732 --> 00:47:37,899 Shut up, okay? 1078 00:47:37,983 --> 00:47:39,400 I think I have an idea. 1079 00:47:39,484 --> 00:47:41,737 One of you needs to open the door, get him out here, 1080 00:47:41,820 --> 00:47:44,072 distract him, and then spray him with a hose. 1081 00:47:44,155 --> 00:47:45,907 I'll grab that plant, smash him over the head, 1082 00:47:45,991 --> 00:47:47,951 and that should give us enough time to get back inside. 1083 00:47:48,034 --> 00:47:48,952 That could work. 1084 00:47:49,035 --> 00:47:51,079 Yeah, totally. You're the distractor, though. 1085 00:47:51,162 --> 00:47:53,039 What? Why-- why am I the distractor? 1086 00:47:53,123 --> 00:47:55,626 Oh, I guess just because this is all your fault. 1087 00:47:55,709 --> 00:47:58,253 You came to my house, you made us get hot wings, 1088 00:47:58,336 --> 00:48:00,881 you invited Rory Gabagool into my home. 1089 00:48:00,964 --> 00:48:02,799 Okay, those are all valid points. 1090 00:48:02,883 --> 00:48:04,217 I'll be the distractor. 1091 00:48:04,300 --> 00:48:05,677 Thank you. 1092 00:48:09,848 --> 00:48:11,224 Ready. 1093 00:48:11,307 --> 00:48:12,350 Set. 1094 00:48:16,396 --> 00:48:17,188 Fucking go! 1095 00:49:05,696 --> 00:49:07,614 Oh my God! I can't believe it actually worked! 1096 00:49:07,739 --> 00:49:09,783 We did it! That was awesome! 1097 00:49:09,866 --> 00:49:11,201 Up high. 1098 00:49:11,284 --> 00:49:12,786 -No five? -No, no five. 1099 00:49:12,869 --> 00:49:13,870 Now that things are back to normal, 1100 00:49:13,954 --> 00:49:15,496 I'd like to be left the fuck alone. 1101 00:49:15,581 --> 00:49:16,665 James! 1102 00:49:22,170 --> 00:49:23,630 All this shit going on in the world, 1103 00:49:23,714 --> 00:49:26,466 why would you even think about telling James what happened? 1104 00:49:26,550 --> 00:49:29,010 Because it was one of the problems of our relationship. 1105 00:49:29,094 --> 00:49:30,887 We were never honest with each other. 1106 00:49:30,971 --> 00:49:33,264 Relationships require honesty. 1107 00:49:33,348 --> 00:49:34,933 Oh my God, are you kidding me? 1108 00:49:35,016 --> 00:49:36,184 James is my best friend 1109 00:49:36,267 --> 00:49:38,562 and I was ready to take that to the grave. 1110 00:49:38,645 --> 00:49:40,021 Look, I wasn't happy about it either. 1111 00:49:40,105 --> 00:49:41,147 It's embarrassing. 1112 00:49:41,231 --> 00:49:43,191 Okay, you don't have to rub it in. 1113 00:49:43,274 --> 00:49:44,818 -That's not what I meant. -You know what? 1114 00:49:44,901 --> 00:49:47,028 A girl like you would never in a million years 1115 00:49:47,112 --> 00:49:49,948 end up with a guy like me, because I am a fuck-up. 1116 00:49:50,031 --> 00:49:52,659 I know it, James knows it, and you know it. 1117 00:49:52,743 --> 00:49:54,077 I mean, you said it yourself. 1118 00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:56,830 I'm not really great at anything in general. 1119 00:49:56,913 --> 00:49:58,248 You were spying on us? 1120 00:49:58,331 --> 00:50:00,125 That's super fucking creepy, Bruce. 1121 00:50:00,208 --> 00:50:02,669 Yes, I was, and I didn't appreciate that comment. 1122 00:50:02,753 --> 00:50:04,713 Or the one you just made. 1123 00:50:04,796 --> 00:50:06,214 Jesus, learn to take a joke. 1124 00:50:06,297 --> 00:50:08,174 Oh, I'm sorry, I get it now. 1125 00:50:08,258 --> 00:50:09,467 Bruce sucks at life. 1126 00:50:09,551 --> 00:50:11,011 -Ha-ha, very funny. -Look, Bruce, 1127 00:50:11,094 --> 00:50:12,721 the reason our fling was embarrassing to me 1128 00:50:12,804 --> 00:50:15,098 was nothing to do with who you are. 1129 00:50:15,181 --> 00:50:19,102 It's because we barely knew each other at the time. 1130 00:50:19,185 --> 00:50:21,522 And honestly, I didn't have a lot 1131 00:50:21,605 --> 00:50:22,981 of experience. 1132 00:50:23,064 --> 00:50:24,941 Well, you know, that makes two of us, 1133 00:50:25,025 --> 00:50:27,277 because I didn't have a whole lot of experience either. 1134 00:50:27,360 --> 00:50:29,362 I'm positive you had at least more than I did. 1135 00:50:30,614 --> 00:50:33,742 No, no, I didn't, because-- 1136 00:50:33,825 --> 00:50:36,620 Well, Emily, I... 1137 00:50:39,540 --> 00:50:40,666 I was a virgin. 1138 00:50:41,750 --> 00:50:42,876 You were a virgin? 1139 00:50:42,959 --> 00:50:44,085 Yes. Shh. 1140 00:50:44,169 --> 00:50:45,546 You don't need to say it so loud. 1141 00:50:45,629 --> 00:50:47,088 I'm speaking at a normal volume. 1142 00:50:47,172 --> 00:50:48,674 Okay, well, I guess it just sounds worse 1143 00:50:48,757 --> 00:50:50,717 when someone else says it. 1144 00:50:50,801 --> 00:50:52,594 I'm sorry. I... 1145 00:50:52,678 --> 00:50:55,096 I honestly, I really don't know how to react to that. 1146 00:50:55,180 --> 00:50:58,308 Well, I'll have you know, I'm no longer a virgin. 1147 00:50:58,391 --> 00:50:59,810 I've done it numerous times. 1148 00:50:59,893 --> 00:51:02,938 -Okay. -At least, 6, 7, 8-- 1149 00:51:03,021 --> 00:51:05,816 -I got it. -With multiple partners, so... 1150 00:51:05,899 --> 00:51:08,151 That's great. Bruce, I'm... 1151 00:51:08,234 --> 00:51:09,778 I'm genuinely happy for you. 1152 00:51:10,987 --> 00:51:11,905 Thanks, Emily. 1153 00:51:11,988 --> 00:51:14,616 That's actually the nicest thing you've ever said to me. 1154 00:51:16,367 --> 00:51:19,037 -See what a relief this is? -Yeah. 1155 00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:20,914 We should have done this years ago. 1156 00:51:20,997 --> 00:51:23,124 The problem was we just acted like it never happened. 1157 00:51:23,208 --> 00:51:24,417 I know. I hated it. 1158 00:51:24,500 --> 00:51:27,045 It just festered like an open wound. 1159 00:51:27,128 --> 00:51:27,838 Right? 1160 00:51:27,921 --> 00:51:32,258 And I was just jealous of you and James. 1161 00:51:32,342 --> 00:51:34,553 You were jealous of us? 1162 00:51:34,636 --> 00:51:36,763 -Yes. -I was jealous of you guys. 1163 00:51:36,847 --> 00:51:38,431 Oh my God, no, you were not. 1164 00:51:38,515 --> 00:51:39,390 Yes! 1165 00:51:39,474 --> 00:51:40,851 About what? 1166 00:51:40,934 --> 00:51:44,479 You two could laugh about anything, talk about anything. 1167 00:51:45,564 --> 00:51:48,441 James and I, we were always just annoying, 1168 00:51:48,525 --> 00:51:50,068 and emotional, 1169 00:51:50,151 --> 00:51:53,154 and draining to the people who cared about us most. 1170 00:51:53,238 --> 00:51:55,907 Well, you know, if it makes you feel any better, 1171 00:51:57,117 --> 00:51:59,745 I don't think James wants to be in a relationship with me either 1172 00:51:59,828 --> 00:52:01,580 right now. 1173 00:52:01,663 --> 00:52:02,956 I'm gonna go talk to him. 1174 00:52:04,708 --> 00:52:05,792 Thanks. 1175 00:52:05,876 --> 00:52:09,212 Oh, and if I get kicked out of the house 1176 00:52:09,295 --> 00:52:12,340 and my penis gets eaten by a zombie, 1177 00:52:13,466 --> 00:52:15,218 it's all your fault. 1178 00:52:15,301 --> 00:52:16,762 Okay, Bruce. 1179 00:52:16,845 --> 00:52:18,096 I'll work on it. 1180 00:52:36,447 --> 00:52:37,783 I told you to leave me alone. 1181 00:52:39,159 --> 00:52:41,244 -What are you doing? -I'm finishing my book. 1182 00:52:43,539 --> 00:52:45,331 What's it about? 1183 00:52:45,415 --> 00:52:47,793 It's about a sad loser who gets dumped. 1184 00:52:47,876 --> 00:52:49,628 I've been struggling to finish it, 1185 00:52:49,711 --> 00:52:52,673 but I've recently had a burst of inspiration. 1186 00:52:52,756 --> 00:52:57,969 "And then she dies suddenly, terribly, and embarrassing." 1187 00:52:58,053 --> 00:53:00,471 Come on, James. Don't be so immature. 1188 00:53:05,852 --> 00:53:08,146 It happened a long time ago. 1189 00:53:08,229 --> 00:53:09,981 I can't change that now. 1190 00:53:11,942 --> 00:53:12,734 You could have told me about it 1191 00:53:12,818 --> 00:53:15,320 in the five years that we were together, though. 1192 00:53:15,403 --> 00:53:16,446 You're right. 1193 00:53:16,530 --> 00:53:18,031 I should have. 1194 00:53:18,114 --> 00:53:19,908 But I didn't. 1195 00:53:19,991 --> 00:53:22,619 I thought it would create problems in our relationship. 1196 00:53:22,703 --> 00:53:24,830 I guess it did anyway. 1197 00:53:24,913 --> 00:53:25,956 Yep. 1198 00:53:27,082 --> 00:53:28,667 I'm sorry, James. 1199 00:53:29,710 --> 00:53:32,420 Would you have really preferred me lying to you? 1200 00:53:32,504 --> 00:53:35,591 Emily, I don't really want to talk to you right now, okay? 1201 00:53:35,674 --> 00:53:39,761 I, um, you broke my heart and then you did it again. 1202 00:53:39,845 --> 00:53:42,305 And really, my only question now is how many more times 1203 00:53:42,388 --> 00:53:43,056 can you possibly do it? 1204 00:53:43,139 --> 00:53:44,933 'Cause it's pretty fucking shattered now. 1205 00:53:50,105 --> 00:53:52,232 Sounds like you want me to leave. 1206 00:53:52,315 --> 00:53:54,359 Yeah, that would probably be for the best. 1207 00:53:56,570 --> 00:53:57,863 Are you sure about that? 1208 00:54:00,031 --> 00:54:01,282 Yes, I am. 1209 00:54:04,244 --> 00:54:05,453 This was a bad idea. 1210 00:54:05,537 --> 00:54:07,372 I should have never come here in the first place. 1211 00:54:07,455 --> 00:54:09,124 Yeah, I got a lot of work to do. 1212 00:54:09,207 --> 00:54:11,167 Yeah, you always did. 1213 00:54:13,754 --> 00:54:14,921 You know what? 1214 00:54:15,005 --> 00:54:16,923 You haven't changed one bit. 1215 00:54:17,007 --> 00:54:19,300 You're still a selfish and insecure prick 1216 00:54:19,384 --> 00:54:20,886 and I can't believe I even considered getting 1217 00:54:20,969 --> 00:54:22,262 back together with you. 1218 00:54:24,472 --> 00:54:26,016 Okay, is that all? 1219 00:54:27,643 --> 00:54:29,102 Have a nice life, James. 1220 00:54:40,113 --> 00:54:41,156 I'll talk to him. 1221 00:54:41,239 --> 00:54:42,616 I don't care anymore. 1222 00:54:43,909 --> 00:54:45,201 Goddamn it. 1223 00:54:54,836 --> 00:54:56,337 Hey. 1224 00:54:56,421 --> 00:54:57,964 No, I don't want to fucking talk to you either. 1225 00:54:58,048 --> 00:54:59,299 In fact, why don't you go with her? 1226 00:54:59,382 --> 00:55:00,634 Right, you guys can go have some fun 1227 00:55:00,717 --> 00:55:01,760 for old times' sake. 1228 00:55:01,843 --> 00:55:03,929 -Come on, man. -Just go! 1229 00:55:05,013 --> 00:55:07,516 Look, just hear me out, okay? 1230 00:55:07,599 --> 00:55:08,684 You don't have to say anything. 1231 00:55:08,767 --> 00:55:11,895 I'm sorry about what happened with me and Emily. 1232 00:55:11,978 --> 00:55:12,979 Okay, I should have told you. 1233 00:55:13,063 --> 00:55:14,314 I was wrong. 1234 00:55:14,397 --> 00:55:16,441 You have every right to be pissed, okay? 1235 00:55:16,525 --> 00:55:17,901 I'd be pissed, too. 1236 00:55:17,984 --> 00:55:20,153 But what you're doing right now might be the biggest mistake 1237 00:55:20,236 --> 00:55:21,905 you've ever made in your entire life. 1238 00:55:22,906 --> 00:55:24,866 Dude, you saw what those monsters are capable of. 1239 00:55:24,950 --> 00:55:27,536 They'll-- they'll chew your fucking nuts off. 1240 00:55:27,619 --> 00:55:29,621 You're really gonna let Emily-- you're gonna 1241 00:55:29,705 --> 00:55:32,624 let me wander out into the streets alone to die? 1242 00:55:32,708 --> 00:55:34,334 You're that cold-hearted? 1243 00:55:34,417 --> 00:55:36,712 I just-- I don't get it, man. 1244 00:55:36,795 --> 00:55:38,088 We're the only two people on this planet 1245 00:55:38,171 --> 00:55:39,631 who give a shit about you. 1246 00:55:41,132 --> 00:55:43,760 Sorry, if I'm coming off like a dick, but it's the truth. 1247 00:55:44,928 --> 00:55:48,014 I just-- I don't care anymore. 1248 00:55:48,098 --> 00:55:49,600 That's not the James I know. 1249 00:55:49,683 --> 00:55:51,602 Then maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do. 1250 00:55:51,685 --> 00:55:54,062 Or maybe you've just forgotten who you really are. 1251 00:55:55,063 --> 00:55:56,523 What are you doing? 1252 00:55:56,607 --> 00:56:00,527 Reminding you that is the girl you love. 1253 00:56:00,611 --> 00:56:03,614 And that, that's the guy you love. 1254 00:56:05,281 --> 00:56:07,450 Platonically, of course. 1255 00:56:07,534 --> 00:56:09,536 -So? -So, dude, 1256 00:56:09,620 --> 00:56:12,080 today could possibly be the end of the fucking world. 1257 00:56:12,163 --> 00:56:14,958 You need to decide if you and Emily are over and you want 1258 00:56:15,041 --> 00:56:16,668 to make peace, or... 1259 00:56:18,545 --> 00:56:21,297 if you want to get back together and you want to win her back. 1260 00:56:21,381 --> 00:56:24,635 But this self-loathing bullshit needs to stop. 1261 00:56:24,718 --> 00:56:26,427 What's it gonna be? 1262 00:56:26,512 --> 00:56:27,513 I don't know. 1263 00:56:28,514 --> 00:56:32,518 Just, why don't you tell me how you two met? 1264 00:56:32,601 --> 00:56:33,977 What's that gonna solve? 1265 00:56:34,060 --> 00:56:36,312 Please, dude, tell me. I want to know. 1266 00:56:38,565 --> 00:56:40,776 We were at the Cineplex Odeon. 1267 00:56:40,859 --> 00:56:42,485 It was a midnight screening of THX 1268 00:56:42,569 --> 00:56:44,404 and we were the only two people there. 1269 00:56:44,487 --> 00:56:47,658 The projector broke halfway through and when the guy came 1270 00:56:47,741 --> 00:56:49,910 to fix it, I went and sat next to her. 1271 00:56:49,993 --> 00:56:51,787 You know, introduced myself. 1272 00:56:51,870 --> 00:56:55,206 "Hey, I'm James, a hungry novelist who loves 1273 00:56:55,290 --> 00:56:57,876 George Lucas and aspires to be as influential." 1274 00:56:59,002 --> 00:57:03,298 She was an amateur photographer who admired him just as much. 1275 00:57:03,381 --> 00:57:04,591 And she loved dogs. 1276 00:57:05,676 --> 00:57:07,260 And she was just-- 1277 00:57:07,343 --> 00:57:10,388 She could really express herself, you know? 1278 00:57:10,471 --> 00:57:14,350 Talked about who she was and who she wanted to be. 1279 00:57:16,603 --> 00:57:17,854 She'd never read any James Joyce, 1280 00:57:17,938 --> 00:57:20,190 but had read all Stephen King. 1281 00:57:20,273 --> 00:57:23,527 She loved the classic Incredible Hulk with Bill Bixby 1282 00:57:23,610 --> 00:57:25,070 and Lou Ferrigno. 1283 00:57:25,153 --> 00:57:27,698 She thought Boba Fett died like a chump. 1284 00:57:27,781 --> 00:57:30,408 She knew Empire was the best Star Wars. 1285 00:57:32,493 --> 00:57:34,621 She liked Disneyland, but only when it was raining. 1286 00:57:36,081 --> 00:57:37,666 That first night we talked 1287 00:57:37,749 --> 00:57:39,543 and talked through the whole movie, 1288 00:57:39,626 --> 00:57:41,002 never even looking at the screen. 1289 00:57:41,086 --> 00:57:44,548 And when it was over, we walked and talked about anything 1290 00:57:44,631 --> 00:57:46,299 and everything. 1291 00:57:46,382 --> 00:57:48,677 And before we knew it, we were in the middle of nowhere 1292 00:57:48,760 --> 00:57:50,053 and we didn't care. 1293 00:57:50,136 --> 00:57:52,723 We just turned around and walked right back, 1294 00:57:52,806 --> 00:57:54,099 talking the whole way. 1295 00:57:55,308 --> 00:57:56,518 And that night I just... 1296 00:57:57,894 --> 00:58:00,021 I knew she was perfect. 1297 00:58:01,314 --> 00:58:03,734 That no one could compare to her. 1298 00:58:03,817 --> 00:58:04,985 And that... 1299 00:58:06,903 --> 00:58:08,697 Holy shit! 1300 00:58:08,780 --> 00:58:10,824 I have to get her back. 1301 00:58:10,907 --> 00:58:12,200 That's your answer right there. 1302 00:58:12,283 --> 00:58:14,327 -Oh my God, Bruce. -I know. 1303 00:58:14,410 --> 00:58:16,079 -I don't want to lose her. -I know. 1304 00:58:16,162 --> 00:58:17,413 I've been a fucking asshole. 1305 00:58:17,497 --> 00:58:19,916 Complete, gaping, stinky fucking asshole. 1306 00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:22,502 - Jesus Christ, dude. - The imagery sometimes. 1307 00:58:22,586 --> 00:58:24,588 Let's go get your girlfriend back. 1308 00:58:24,671 --> 00:58:26,297 Let's do that. 1309 00:58:38,519 --> 00:58:40,729 Jesus Christ. 1310 00:58:40,812 --> 00:58:43,106 Goddamn it. Just go. 1311 00:58:43,189 --> 00:58:44,566 Shut up. 1312 00:58:53,825 --> 00:58:55,536 Shit, man. It's spooky out here. 1313 00:58:55,619 --> 00:58:56,953 I know. I'm such a fucking idiot. 1314 00:58:57,037 --> 00:58:58,079 I hope she's okay. 1315 00:58:58,163 --> 00:59:01,041 Holy shit. Dude, look at the size of this thing. Dibs. 1316 00:59:01,124 --> 00:59:02,417 No, no, no, no, no. 1317 00:59:02,500 --> 00:59:03,627 -What? -It's the maintenance guy's. 1318 00:59:03,710 --> 00:59:05,128 Dude, fuck the maintenance guy. 1319 00:59:05,211 --> 00:59:06,672 He's probably dead for all we know. 1320 00:59:06,755 --> 00:59:08,381 That is a badass axe. 1321 00:59:08,464 --> 00:59:10,634 And we could kill some fucking zombies with that thing. 1322 00:59:10,717 --> 00:59:13,136 Plus, God put that here for a reason. 1323 00:59:13,219 --> 00:59:14,638 Okay, fine, but we have to put it back when we're done. 1324 00:59:14,721 --> 00:59:16,264 -Fine, whatever. -You got to remind me. 1325 00:59:16,347 --> 00:59:17,891 -Okay, I will. -Okay. 1326 00:59:17,974 --> 00:59:19,851 Now let's go get your girlfriend back. 1327 00:59:19,935 --> 00:59:21,978 Let's go get her. 1328 00:59:22,062 --> 00:59:23,772 -Hey, James. -Yeah? 1329 00:59:23,855 --> 00:59:26,983 Remember when I told you I had slept with like, 1330 00:59:27,067 --> 00:59:28,652 hundreds of ladies? 1331 00:59:28,735 --> 00:59:29,986 Uh-huh. 1332 00:59:30,070 --> 00:59:31,362 That's true. 1333 00:59:31,446 --> 00:59:33,156 -Really? -Okay, it's not true. 1334 00:59:33,239 --> 00:59:35,325 Yeah, I know, Bruce. 1335 00:59:35,408 --> 00:59:37,994 But I have like made sex with women before. 1336 00:59:38,078 --> 00:59:39,788 Yeah, typically, when you have sex, 1337 00:59:39,871 --> 00:59:41,998 you're not the kind of person who's ever made sex. 1338 00:59:42,082 --> 00:59:43,499 All right, then I won't talk about sex anymore. 1339 00:59:43,584 --> 00:59:44,835 Let's just not talk about anything for a little bit. 1340 00:59:44,918 --> 00:59:47,003 Fine. 1341 00:59:47,087 --> 00:59:48,338 That was Emily. 1342 00:59:48,421 --> 00:59:50,340 Holy shit, dude. 1343 00:59:50,423 --> 00:59:51,925 It's Miss Jones' place. 1344 00:59:52,008 --> 00:59:53,009 You mean Beverly? 1345 00:59:53,093 --> 00:59:54,260 What, no, Miss Jo-- 1346 00:59:54,344 --> 00:59:56,137 Wait, when did you get on first-name basis with her? 1347 00:59:56,221 --> 00:59:58,098 Since, like today. You're not? 1348 00:59:58,181 --> 00:59:59,390 No. Did something happen? 1349 00:59:59,474 --> 01:00:01,059 -What? -What? Why'd you-- how'd you-- 1350 01:00:01,142 --> 01:00:02,853 I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. 1351 01:00:07,357 --> 01:00:09,442 I've always wondered what it looked like back here. 1352 01:00:09,526 --> 01:00:11,194 I have not wondered that. 1353 01:00:15,073 --> 01:00:16,157 What the fuck? 1354 01:00:16,199 --> 01:00:17,408 She's a cop? 1355 01:00:17,492 --> 01:00:18,785 Not just a cop. 1356 01:00:18,869 --> 01:00:20,954 She's a fucking detective, dude. 1357 01:00:21,037 --> 01:00:22,122 Oh, dude. 1358 01:00:22,205 --> 01:00:23,373 Fresh donuts. 1359 01:00:26,209 --> 01:00:27,669 - Dude, drop the donuts. - We gotta go. 1360 01:00:37,220 --> 01:00:38,555 Shit. 1361 01:00:38,639 --> 01:00:40,348 -This is scary. -Shut up. 1362 01:00:45,562 --> 01:00:46,563 What are you doing on the ground? 1363 01:00:47,939 --> 01:00:49,566 I'm losing blood. 1364 01:00:49,650 --> 01:00:51,276 Oh, fuck, dude! 1365 01:00:55,614 --> 01:00:57,448 Oh, Je-- Jesus Christ. 1366 01:00:57,574 --> 01:00:59,367 Okay. 1367 01:00:59,450 --> 01:01:00,786 Miss Jones! 1368 01:01:00,869 --> 01:01:02,871 Dude, is-- is that-- is that a clothing iron? 1369 01:01:02,954 --> 01:01:04,372 Maybe she was ironing when she turned. 1370 01:01:04,455 --> 01:01:06,625 Yeah, well, she's fucking death-gripping the thing. 1371 01:01:06,708 --> 01:01:09,252 Miss Jones, hi. James here. How's it going? 1372 01:01:09,335 --> 01:01:10,879 -How are you doing? -Dude, what are you doing? 1373 01:01:10,962 --> 01:01:12,881 -She can't fucking hear you. -I should try. 1374 01:01:12,964 --> 01:01:13,840 She might be in there somewhere. 1375 01:01:13,924 --> 01:01:15,551 No, dude. She's a fucking zombie. 1376 01:01:15,634 --> 01:01:17,678 She's gonna eat your fucking face off. 1377 01:01:17,761 --> 01:01:19,638 You gotta-- 1378 01:01:19,721 --> 01:01:21,056 Miss Jones! 1379 01:01:21,139 --> 01:01:22,140 Hello? Miss Jones. 1380 01:01:22,223 --> 01:01:23,349 See, dude, she's fucking gone. 1381 01:01:23,433 --> 01:01:25,686 -Just-- just kill her ass. -Oh, God. 1382 01:01:25,769 --> 01:01:26,937 -I'm so sorry, but this is-- -You got this. 1383 01:01:27,020 --> 01:01:28,564 Okay, okay. I really like you. 1384 01:01:35,320 --> 01:01:37,322 -Oh my God. -You got it, buddy. 1385 01:01:46,039 --> 01:01:47,624 Okay, oh my gosh, okay. 1386 01:01:47,708 --> 01:01:49,334 Okay, okay, okay. 1387 01:01:52,212 --> 01:01:53,171 Oh, yeah, that's gotta hurt. 1388 01:02:00,178 --> 01:02:01,597 Ah, you took my move! 1389 01:02:05,183 --> 01:02:06,810 James, you're doing good, buddy. 1390 01:02:06,893 --> 01:02:07,936 I love it. 1391 01:02:15,611 --> 01:02:16,695 You got this, man. 1392 01:02:16,778 --> 01:02:17,946 You can fucking do it. 1393 01:02:18,029 --> 01:02:19,906 Okay, okay. 1394 01:02:22,158 --> 01:02:23,619 Stop it. 1395 01:02:25,662 --> 01:02:27,205 Okay, okay. 1396 01:02:27,288 --> 01:02:28,915 Okay, okay, okay. 1397 01:02:28,999 --> 01:02:30,000 No, stop. 1398 01:02:31,627 --> 01:02:33,003 Okay, now go back. 1399 01:02:36,923 --> 01:02:38,008 Oh yes. 1400 01:02:38,091 --> 01:02:41,136 Oh my God, really cool. That was awesome. 1401 01:02:41,219 --> 01:02:42,804 Yeah, where the fuck were you? 1402 01:02:42,888 --> 01:02:44,640 -I was in the bathroom. -I can't even understand. 1403 01:02:44,723 --> 01:02:46,266 Emily. 1404 01:02:46,349 --> 01:02:48,309 Oh, are we gonna lift this thing? 1405 01:02:48,393 --> 01:02:49,936 - Yeah. - Jesus. 1406 01:02:50,020 --> 01:02:51,354 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1407 01:02:51,437 --> 01:02:53,356 Okay, all right. It's really fucking-- 1408 01:02:53,439 --> 01:02:54,650 Okay. 1409 01:02:54,733 --> 01:02:56,359 Okay. 1410 01:03:01,865 --> 01:03:03,784 Let me just-- hold on, sorry. 1411 01:03:05,326 --> 01:03:07,162 You all right in there? 1412 01:03:07,245 --> 01:03:09,080 Fuck you. 1413 01:03:09,164 --> 01:03:10,415 This fucking bird. 1414 01:03:10,498 --> 01:03:12,292 - Yes, we're okay. - Damn it. 1415 01:03:12,375 --> 01:03:12,751 We're okay. 1416 01:03:12,834 --> 01:03:14,502 Why are we bringing this stupid fucking thing? 1417 01:03:14,586 --> 01:03:16,046 We can't leave it in there. 1418 01:03:16,129 --> 01:03:17,380 Ow. 1419 01:03:18,757 --> 01:03:20,300 Come on, hurry. 1420 01:03:30,060 --> 01:03:31,311 Goddamn it. 1421 01:03:36,107 --> 01:03:38,527 The president has now declared 1422 01:03:38,610 --> 01:03:41,988 martial law in the city of Los Angeles. 1423 01:03:42,072 --> 01:03:45,075 All residents are urged to remain indoors 1424 01:03:45,158 --> 01:03:46,618 until further notice. 1425 01:03:46,702 --> 01:03:49,913 Any unauthorized individuals found in the streets 1426 01:03:49,996 --> 01:03:51,790 will be treated as a potential threat 1427 01:03:51,873 --> 01:03:56,044 to national security and will be dealt with accordingly. 1428 01:03:56,127 --> 01:03:58,839 In other news, soy milk futures have dropped 1429 01:03:58,922 --> 01:04:00,632 significantly in the last 24 hours. 1430 01:04:00,716 --> 01:04:02,217 Goddamn it. 1431 01:04:02,300 --> 01:04:04,219 Ted, fuck. 1432 01:04:04,302 --> 01:04:05,762 You guys hear that? 1433 01:04:05,846 --> 01:04:07,723 Soy milk futures are down. 1434 01:04:09,474 --> 01:04:11,267 There goes my whole portfolio. 1435 01:04:14,104 --> 01:04:15,146 Oh, God. 1436 01:04:15,230 --> 01:04:16,773 She really dug her teeth in. 1437 01:04:20,068 --> 01:04:21,194 So... 1438 01:04:22,362 --> 01:04:23,864 where did it all go wrong? 1439 01:04:27,367 --> 01:04:29,119 With us? 1440 01:04:29,202 --> 01:04:31,121 You really want to know? 1441 01:04:31,204 --> 01:04:31,747 I do. 1442 01:04:31,830 --> 01:04:33,248 I don't think you can handle it. 1443 01:04:34,833 --> 01:04:37,085 I-- I think I can. 1444 01:04:37,168 --> 01:04:38,253 Okay. 1445 01:04:40,589 --> 01:04:43,800 You spent all your time with that dinosaur you call computer 1446 01:04:43,884 --> 01:04:45,844 writing obscure nothingness. 1447 01:04:45,927 --> 01:04:47,596 You're stuck in the past, James. 1448 01:04:47,679 --> 01:04:49,264 No wonder you can't move forward. 1449 01:04:49,347 --> 01:04:50,641 -Wait. -All your love 1450 01:04:50,724 --> 01:04:52,601 spent on that stupid book. 1451 01:04:52,684 --> 01:04:54,227 Nothing left over for me. 1452 01:04:54,310 --> 01:04:56,688 Your life put on hold and for what? 1453 01:04:56,772 --> 01:04:59,608 No, no. I-- I think I finally found my inspiration. 1454 01:04:59,691 --> 01:05:01,860 Well, that's great for you, but unfortunately-- 1455 01:05:01,943 --> 01:05:03,862 If you would just let me talk. 1456 01:05:06,072 --> 01:05:08,366 Right. Um, okay. 1457 01:05:08,491 --> 01:05:09,785 Okay. 1458 01:05:11,327 --> 01:05:14,915 I'm sorry that I was a terrible boyfriend. 1459 01:05:14,998 --> 01:05:16,499 And I was. 1460 01:05:16,583 --> 01:05:20,879 I was distant and very bad at communicating. 1461 01:05:20,962 --> 01:05:24,465 Mm-hmm. - And I-- I didn't see you. 1462 01:05:24,550 --> 01:05:26,510 And more than anything, I'm sorry that it took a day 1463 01:05:26,593 --> 01:05:29,971 like today for me to see how amazing you are. 1464 01:05:30,055 --> 01:05:32,140 And how much I want to fight for you. 1465 01:05:32,223 --> 01:05:34,935 So, what do you say? 1466 01:05:38,605 --> 01:05:39,690 No. 1467 01:05:41,149 --> 01:05:42,400 No? 1468 01:05:42,483 --> 01:05:45,070 I'm sorry, it's not that easy. 1469 01:05:48,782 --> 01:05:50,450 Okay. Two seconds. 1470 01:05:56,832 --> 01:05:58,625 Oh my God. 1471 01:05:58,709 --> 01:05:59,960 Oh. 1472 01:06:01,086 --> 01:06:02,128 Wow. 1473 01:06:09,761 --> 01:06:11,012 Okay. 1474 01:06:19,730 --> 01:06:24,943 I can't imagine living on this planet without you. 1475 01:06:25,026 --> 01:06:27,654 So if I have to become a mindless zombie as 1476 01:06:27,738 --> 01:06:31,533 we both just fade into the dust, at least we can be together. 1477 01:06:35,161 --> 01:06:38,749 I can't take you back right away, 1478 01:06:38,832 --> 01:06:41,752 especially after everything that's happened. 1479 01:06:43,044 --> 01:06:44,337 But it's a start. 1480 01:06:45,839 --> 01:06:48,634 Oh no, James. 1481 01:06:48,717 --> 01:06:50,886 -You didn't. -I did. 1482 01:06:50,969 --> 01:06:53,179 Jesus. 1483 01:06:53,263 --> 01:06:54,180 You two have put me in a 1484 01:06:54,264 --> 01:06:57,142 seriously fucked-up love triangle. 1485 01:06:57,225 --> 01:07:00,478 I want you both to know that when you turn into zombies, 1486 01:07:00,562 --> 01:07:02,063 I'm going to kill you both 1487 01:07:02,147 --> 01:07:04,525 and claim squatter's rights, so I can live here forever. 1488 01:07:04,608 --> 01:07:06,860 -Hope that's cool. -Yeah, that seems fair. 1489 01:07:08,779 --> 01:07:10,822 I think I have an ending for your book. 1490 01:07:10,906 --> 01:07:12,073 Really? 1491 01:07:12,157 --> 01:07:13,700 Mm-hmm. You want to hear it? 1492 01:07:13,784 --> 01:07:15,285 Yeah, I do. 1493 01:07:15,368 --> 01:07:19,080 The guy finally wins over the girl, they fall deeply, 1494 01:07:19,164 --> 01:07:23,418 madly in love, and they die happily ever after. 1495 01:07:23,501 --> 01:07:25,253 -The end. -That's good. 1496 01:07:25,336 --> 01:07:26,880 I'd read that. Mm-hmm. 1497 01:07:26,963 --> 01:07:29,049 -I love it. -Me too. 1498 01:08:15,428 --> 01:08:17,973 A doo-dobba, dobba, dobba, dobba, dobba, dobba 1499 01:10:41,241 --> 01:10:44,202 Good morning, sleepyheads. 1500 01:10:44,285 --> 01:10:45,537 Yikes. 1501 01:10:46,997 --> 01:10:48,665 How do you feel? 1502 01:10:48,749 --> 01:10:50,041 Like shit. 1503 01:10:50,125 --> 01:10:52,586 I'm not sure though if that's because I'm becoming a zombie 1504 01:10:52,669 --> 01:10:55,296 or because I'm super hungover. 1505 01:10:55,380 --> 01:10:56,590 Well, you came to the right place, 1506 01:10:56,673 --> 01:10:59,050 because I just brewed up a couple of prairie oysters. 1507 01:10:59,134 --> 01:11:00,677 -Do, do, do, do. -No, I am not doing that again. 1508 01:11:00,761 --> 01:11:02,971 - Yes, you are. - I am not going to. 1509 01:11:03,054 --> 01:11:05,098 -Prairie what? -Prairie oysters. 1510 01:11:05,181 --> 01:11:07,684 It's a hangover remedy invented by James Bond. 1511 01:11:09,102 --> 01:11:10,270 Don't let the Bond thing fool you, though. 1512 01:11:10,353 --> 01:11:11,688 It tastes like shit. 1513 01:11:11,772 --> 01:11:12,981 All right. 1514 01:11:14,357 --> 01:11:15,942 Admittedly, it did help, so. 1515 01:11:16,943 --> 01:11:20,030 I mean, I'll do anything to get rid of this headache, so. 1516 01:11:20,113 --> 01:11:21,948 -Bottoms up. -Bottoms up. 1517 01:11:23,825 --> 01:11:25,076 Mm. 1518 01:11:28,329 --> 01:11:29,414 It's not terrible. 1519 01:11:29,497 --> 01:11:32,167 Okay, now I want you both to try 1520 01:11:32,250 --> 01:11:36,296 my world famous bacon egg sandwich. 1521 01:11:36,379 --> 01:11:38,339 Okay, now that I'll do. 1522 01:11:38,423 --> 01:11:39,716 Take a big bite, would you? 1523 01:11:42,678 --> 01:11:43,762 Mm. 1524 01:11:45,556 --> 01:11:47,390 Oh my God. 1525 01:11:47,473 --> 01:11:49,851 Bruce, oh, this is amazing. 1526 01:11:49,935 --> 01:11:51,061 -You really think so? -Mm-hmm. 1527 01:11:51,144 --> 01:11:52,604 You haven't lost your touch? 1528 01:11:52,688 --> 01:11:54,940 Wow, Rory was not joking 1529 01:11:55,023 --> 01:11:56,983 when he said that you are a sandwich artiste. 1530 01:11:57,067 --> 01:11:59,611 -Oh man, you really think so? -Yes. 1531 01:11:59,695 --> 01:12:01,822 If this is my last meal, I can die happy. 1532 01:12:01,905 --> 01:12:02,948 That's really sweet, Emily. 1533 01:12:03,031 --> 01:12:04,032 Thank you. 1534 01:12:05,408 --> 01:12:06,535 Wait a second. 1535 01:12:07,744 --> 01:12:08,745 What's wrong? 1536 01:12:09,830 --> 01:12:10,581 - James. - Yeah. 1537 01:12:10,664 --> 01:12:12,123 Look at Emily's face. 1538 01:12:12,207 --> 01:12:14,500 Oh my God. Wait, what? 1539 01:12:14,585 --> 01:12:16,502 Yeah, we've already established that I look like shit. 1540 01:12:16,587 --> 01:12:17,879 No, no, you look amazing. 1541 01:12:17,963 --> 01:12:19,673 You look like perfect. 1542 01:12:19,756 --> 01:12:21,007 So beautiful right now. 1543 01:12:21,091 --> 01:12:22,300 Well, come on. 1544 01:12:22,383 --> 01:12:26,137 No, it's almost like you look-- you look cured. 1545 01:12:27,973 --> 01:12:29,307 Holy shit. 1546 01:12:31,184 --> 01:12:32,978 How is that even possible? 1547 01:12:33,061 --> 01:12:34,771 I have no idea. 1548 01:12:36,397 --> 01:12:39,400 Dude, I think it's the prairie oyster. 1549 01:12:39,484 --> 01:12:40,819 No, no way. 1550 01:12:40,902 --> 01:12:42,195 Yes, think about it. 1551 01:12:42,278 --> 01:12:43,363 You had one yesterday 1552 01:12:43,446 --> 01:12:45,406 and you're showing no symptoms right now. 1553 01:12:45,490 --> 01:12:47,325 You're right. I actually feel amazing. 1554 01:12:48,660 --> 01:12:50,161 Do you know what this means, Bruce? 1555 01:12:50,245 --> 01:12:50,996 What? 1556 01:12:51,079 --> 01:12:53,498 If you found the cure for the Agnes virus, 1557 01:12:53,582 --> 01:12:55,166 you're gonna be a hero. 1558 01:12:56,543 --> 01:12:57,961 Fuck being a hero. 1559 01:12:58,044 --> 01:12:59,755 I'm about to be a billionaire. 1560 01:12:59,838 --> 01:13:00,922 I need to let the world know. 1561 01:13:01,006 --> 01:13:02,090 James, give me the phone. 1562 01:13:02,173 --> 01:13:03,299 Yeah, yeah, sure. 1563 01:13:03,383 --> 01:13:04,593 There you go. 1564 01:13:05,594 --> 01:13:06,553 Who are you calling? 1565 01:13:07,929 --> 01:13:09,180 Ted Sommers, bitch. 1566 01:13:09,264 --> 01:13:10,516 Channel 11 News. 1567 01:13:10,599 --> 01:13:12,350 -You just know the number? -By heart. 1568 01:13:12,433 --> 01:13:15,687 Love those guys. 1569 01:13:16,813 --> 01:13:18,649 It's ringing. This is good. 1570 01:13:18,732 --> 01:13:20,275 Channel 11, how can I direct your call? 1571 01:13:20,358 --> 01:13:23,987 Hey, uh, this is Bruce Springsteen 1572 01:13:24,070 --> 01:13:25,405 calling for Ted Sommers. 1573 01:13:25,488 --> 01:13:25,989 Hold please. 1574 01:13:26,072 --> 01:13:27,448 No, I'm not gonna fucking hold. 1575 01:13:46,009 --> 01:13:47,260 You better wrap things up. 1576 01:13:47,343 --> 01:13:48,637 It's about to start soon. 1577 01:13:48,720 --> 01:13:51,264 Yeah, this is for my publisher. 1578 01:13:51,347 --> 01:13:53,517 Very big day for this guy. 1579 01:13:53,600 --> 01:13:54,768 Is that a new printer? 1580 01:13:54,851 --> 01:13:56,061 Yes, it is. 1581 01:13:57,062 --> 01:13:58,188 I'm proud of you. 1582 01:13:59,565 --> 01:14:01,316 You think this is gonna be your masterpiece? 1583 01:14:02,984 --> 01:14:04,110 I know it is. 1584 01:14:06,988 --> 01:14:08,448 -Bruce. -Yes? 1585 01:14:08,532 --> 01:14:11,910 Many are calling you a "national hero". 1586 01:14:11,993 --> 01:14:14,454 Do you feel like a hero? 1587 01:14:14,538 --> 01:14:15,997 -That's me. -Yeah, it is. 1588 01:14:16,081 --> 01:14:17,415 Come on, Ted. 1589 01:14:18,625 --> 01:14:20,836 You know, if you're looking for a real hero, 1590 01:14:20,919 --> 01:14:22,087 his name is James Bond. 1591 01:14:22,170 --> 01:14:24,798 Taught me everything I know about the prairie oyster. 1592 01:14:24,881 --> 01:14:27,175 Now tell me, how does one go 1593 01:14:27,258 --> 01:14:30,929 from being unemployed for over three years 1594 01:14:31,012 --> 01:14:32,931 to solving a health crisis? 1595 01:14:33,014 --> 01:14:34,683 That's a great question, Ted. 1596 01:14:34,766 --> 01:14:35,851 It's fairly simple. 1597 01:14:35,934 --> 01:14:37,686 I'm not really great at anything in general, 1598 01:14:37,769 --> 01:14:40,271 other than getting all messed up and trying to figure out how 1599 01:14:40,355 --> 01:14:41,940 to avoid a hangover. 1600 01:14:42,023 --> 01:14:44,109 The rest of it was basically being 1601 01:14:44,192 --> 01:14:46,236 in the right place at the right time. 1602 01:14:46,319 --> 01:14:51,032 Some would say you're the most celebrated person on the planet. 1603 01:14:51,116 --> 01:14:52,576 How does that make you feel? 1604 01:14:52,701 --> 01:14:53,952 Pretty great, Ted. 1605 01:14:54,035 --> 01:14:55,411 Pretty great. 1606 01:14:56,955 --> 01:14:59,165 Well, everyone wants to know 1607 01:14:59,249 --> 01:15:01,376 what's next for Bruce Springsteen, 1608 01:15:01,459 --> 01:15:04,295 the sandwich artist, not the boss? 1609 01:15:04,379 --> 01:15:06,172 -Stein. Springstein. -Sorry about that. 1610 01:15:07,090 --> 01:15:10,135 Well, you know, I was thinking after I graduate 1611 01:15:10,218 --> 01:15:11,011 culinary school, 1612 01:15:11,094 --> 01:15:13,388 I'll open a sandwich shop with my good buddy Rory. 1613 01:15:13,471 --> 01:15:14,430 I mean, he inspired me 1614 01:15:14,515 --> 01:15:15,766 to get back in the kitchen in the first place. 1615 01:15:15,849 --> 01:15:18,602 -I'm proud of you, Bruce. -I love you, buddy. 1616 01:15:18,685 --> 01:15:21,897 Then I'd like to open an animal rescue with 1617 01:15:21,980 --> 01:15:23,231 my friend Emily. 1618 01:15:23,314 --> 01:15:24,775 And after that, hopefully write 1619 01:15:24,858 --> 01:15:25,734 a book about this entire crazy experience-- 1620 01:15:25,817 --> 01:15:27,861 Bruce! 1621 01:15:27,944 --> 01:15:30,113 --with my best friend James, because he's a novelist, 1622 01:15:30,196 --> 01:15:32,157 and also because he saved my life. 1623 01:15:32,240 --> 01:15:34,200 Yeah, I, for sure, didn't save any lives. 1624 01:15:34,242 --> 01:15:37,037 No, no, you almost killed us all. 1625 01:15:37,120 --> 01:15:39,665 Sounds like you've got some really wonderful friends, Bruce. 1626 01:15:39,748 --> 01:15:41,499 I really do. I really do, Ted. 1627 01:15:41,583 --> 01:15:43,919 -Woo! -Oh, yeah. There you go. 1628 01:15:44,002 --> 01:15:45,629 Thank you, thank you. 1629 01:15:45,712 --> 01:15:47,548 You're a fucking hero these days. 1630 01:15:49,675 --> 01:15:51,593 Oh, shit, dude. 1631 01:15:51,677 --> 01:15:52,636 Look. 1632 01:15:52,719 --> 01:15:54,179 Oh, all of our old friends. 1633 01:15:54,262 --> 01:15:55,722 Yeah. 1634 01:15:55,806 --> 01:15:58,474 Still smiling after everything they've been through. 1635 01:15:58,559 --> 01:15:59,768 Amazing. 1636 01:16:00,977 --> 01:16:03,188 You know, the doctors were able to save the jogger's leg. 1637 01:16:04,731 --> 01:16:07,233 Truly incredible what they can do these days, 1638 01:16:07,317 --> 01:16:09,360 -medical people, you know? -Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 1639 01:16:10,862 --> 01:16:12,030 I should have been a doctor. 1640 01:16:13,364 --> 01:16:17,327 Oh, look. It's Beverly and her asshole parrot. 1641 01:16:18,328 --> 01:16:19,621 Dude, she looks great. 1642 01:16:19,705 --> 01:16:20,831 Yes, she does. 1643 01:16:21,832 --> 01:16:25,210 Yes, she does. 1644 01:16:26,419 --> 01:16:27,546 Mm. 1645 01:16:28,672 --> 01:16:30,924 You know, you really saved the world, man. 1646 01:16:31,007 --> 01:16:33,051 Yes, I did. 1647 01:16:34,970 --> 01:16:37,639 I'm honored to call you my best friend. 1648 01:16:38,932 --> 01:16:40,141 Me too, buddy. 1649 01:16:43,478 --> 01:16:44,563 -Oh. -Oh. 1650 01:16:45,731 --> 01:16:49,526 Ah, yeah, that-- that's not good. 1651 01:16:49,610 --> 01:16:50,819 Oh. 1652 01:16:52,571 --> 01:16:55,156 Maybe it's like some kind of, I don't know. 1653 01:16:55,240 --> 01:16:56,491 Um. 1654 01:16:56,575 --> 01:16:58,535 -Dude. -What? 1655 01:16:58,619 --> 01:17:01,329 Ah, your face. 1656 01:17:03,624 --> 01:17:06,167 Turn it up. Turn it up! 1657 01:17:06,251 --> 01:17:08,211 On the Agnes virus outbreak, 1658 01:17:08,294 --> 01:17:10,255 the Centers for Disease Control have deemed 1659 01:17:10,338 --> 01:17:15,010 the prairie oyster antidote only temporarily effective. 1660 01:17:15,093 --> 01:17:18,179 To be clear, CDC scientists have concluded 1661 01:17:18,263 --> 01:17:20,641 that the antidote is ineffective against 1662 01:17:20,724 --> 01:17:23,519 the long-term effects of the Agnes virus. 1663 01:17:23,602 --> 01:17:24,853 -Washington officials are said-- -Fuck, Ted. 1664 01:17:24,936 --> 01:17:27,689 ...to be deploying alternative containment measures 1665 01:17:27,773 --> 01:17:29,357 as we speak. 1666 01:17:29,440 --> 01:17:31,026 Reports are coming in from... 1667 01:17:31,109 --> 01:17:33,194 ...all across the city about infected persons wandering 1668 01:17:33,278 --> 01:17:34,655 -the streets aimlessly. -What the hell is that? 1669 01:17:36,657 --> 01:17:39,826 Air raid sirens. The big red button. 1670 01:17:39,868 --> 01:17:42,788 Guess I'm not really great at anything in general, am I? 1671 01:17:42,871 --> 01:17:45,498 That's not true, man. You're a great best friend. 1672 01:17:46,750 --> 01:17:47,668 Thanks, buddy. 1673 01:17:54,424 --> 01:17:56,426 So this is the end of the world? 1674 01:17:56,510 --> 01:17:57,511 As we know it. 1675 01:17:58,554 --> 01:18:00,597 It's a lot different than I pictured it. 1676 01:18:01,807 --> 01:18:03,266 Looks pretty good from here. 1677 01:18:05,852 --> 01:18:08,438 So, what do you say? 1678 01:18:08,522 --> 01:18:09,773 Will you take me back? 1679 01:18:11,232 --> 01:18:12,818 I hate you. 1680 01:18:12,901 --> 01:18:14,152 I know. 1681 01:18:54,025 --> 01:18:55,068 Now, let's go to Seattle now. 1682 01:18:55,151 --> 01:18:56,945 I'm not going right now. 1683 01:18:57,028 --> 01:18:58,404 Let's go to Seattle, dude. 1684 01:18:58,488 --> 01:19:00,741 What is it? Spun-- 1685 01:19:00,824 --> 01:19:01,908 - What is it? - Space Trains. 1686 01:19:01,992 --> 01:19:03,577 - Space Trains. - Oh, no.* 1687 01:19:11,668 --> 01:19:12,919 Russell, there you go. Yeah. 1688 01:19:13,003 --> 01:19:14,045 - No. - He's a jerk-- 1689 01:19:15,839 --> 01:19:17,465 Yeah, oof. 1690 01:19:17,549 --> 01:19:18,800 I'm just here to report the news. 1691 01:19:18,884 --> 01:19:22,137 I can't get involved. 1692 01:19:22,220 --> 01:19:23,304 It looks very painful. 1693 01:19:23,388 --> 01:19:24,515 I understand your yelling. 1694 01:19:24,598 --> 01:19:26,349 Maybe we can like go out sometime. 1695 01:19:26,432 --> 01:19:27,768 Ooh. Yeah. 1696 01:19:27,851 --> 01:19:29,477 Yeah. Uh-huh. 1697 01:19:29,561 --> 01:19:30,812 Yeah, I'll buy you some new shoes. 1698 01:19:30,896 --> 01:19:32,147 Woo-hoo! 1699 01:19:33,815 --> 01:19:37,402 Thank you, Ted. I-- I'm very blessed and fortunate. 1700 01:19:37,485 --> 01:19:39,696 I know a lot of people out there don't have any friends. 1701 01:19:39,780 --> 01:19:42,407 Yeah. Many people lost loved ones. 1702 01:19:42,490 --> 01:19:44,242 They did. They sure did. 1703 01:19:44,325 --> 01:19:45,702 Um, yeah. 1704 01:19:47,287 --> 01:19:51,792 After you go back to, I wanted to say sandwich school, but-- 1705 01:19:54,628 --> 01:19:57,338 After you go back to the culinary institute 1706 01:19:57,422 --> 01:20:00,425 and you start this animal rescue, you said. 1707 01:20:00,509 --> 01:20:01,885 -Yeah. -Um, 1708 01:20:01,968 --> 01:20:04,262 are you an animal lover, Bruce? 1709 01:20:06,014 --> 01:20:08,391 Not really. No, it's not really about me. 1710 01:20:08,474 --> 01:20:09,851 It's more about Emily. 1711 01:20:09,935 --> 01:20:11,477 -That's her thing. -I see. 1712 01:20:11,562 --> 01:20:13,939 Yeah. -So you just plan to support her 1713 01:20:14,022 --> 01:20:16,107 and the shelter financially? 1714 01:20:17,275 --> 01:20:18,527 If that's what it takes. 1715 01:20:18,610 --> 01:20:20,445 If that's what it takes, Ted. 1716 01:20:20,529 --> 01:20:24,741 I've never really been much of an animal guy personally. 1717 01:20:24,825 --> 01:20:25,867 They stink. 1718 01:20:25,951 --> 01:20:27,619 And you got to clean up after them. 1719 01:20:27,703 --> 01:20:28,745 But it's okay. 1720 01:20:28,829 --> 01:20:30,539 -I won't be there. -Right. Right. 1721 01:20:30,622 --> 01:20:34,876 But it's good to put your name on things that are looked at 1722 01:20:34,960 --> 01:20:38,088 as positive in the world. 1723 01:20:38,171 --> 01:20:40,549 So a lot of people like animal rescues. 1724 01:20:40,632 --> 01:20:41,925 Emily does. 1725 01:20:42,008 --> 01:20:44,219 So I do. 1726 01:20:44,302 --> 01:20:46,387 Okay, I-- I can understand that. 1727 01:20:46,471 --> 01:20:48,807 I, for one, don't like dog barks. 1728 01:20:50,684 --> 01:20:51,768 I'm with you there. 1729 01:20:51,852 --> 01:20:54,563 They can make me jump out of my skin. 1730 01:20:54,646 --> 01:20:56,523 And they make me very angry, too. 1731 01:20:56,607 --> 01:20:58,567 -They surprise me. -Yes. Yeah. 1732 01:20:58,650 --> 01:21:02,403 Shock me. But I know many animals are wonderful. 1733 01:21:02,487 --> 01:21:03,446 Sure. 1734 01:21:03,530 --> 01:21:05,156 And you're going to write a book about all of this, 1735 01:21:05,240 --> 01:21:07,158 you hope? 1736 01:21:07,242 --> 01:21:12,163 Well, I will be doing a bit of the ghost, what do they say? 1737 01:21:12,247 --> 01:21:13,582 -Is it ghost writing? -Ghost writing. 1738 01:21:13,665 --> 01:21:15,041 Oh, no, no, that's not right. 1739 01:21:15,125 --> 01:21:16,417 I will be uh-- 1740 01:21:16,501 --> 01:21:18,795 Well, your friend will be ghost writing for you, I believe. 1741 01:21:18,879 --> 01:21:20,088 Yes. That's what I meant. 1742 01:21:20,171 --> 01:21:21,464 Yes. James will be the ghost writer. 1743 01:21:21,548 --> 01:21:22,758 James will be the ghost writer, 1744 01:21:22,841 --> 01:21:24,843 and I will take all of the credit. 1745 01:21:24,926 --> 01:21:27,095 I don't know. 1746 01:21:27,178 --> 01:21:29,472 How do you think James will feel about that? 1747 01:21:29,556 --> 01:21:32,017 We'll find out when he sees this interview. 1748 01:21:33,560 --> 01:21:35,562 Hey, I got a little whiskey there for you. 1749 01:21:35,646 --> 01:21:38,023 -It's top shelf. -Oh, I-- I don't doubt it. 1750 01:21:38,106 --> 01:21:39,983 You're very kind, Bruce, but if I have one, 1751 01:21:40,066 --> 01:21:42,193 I'll have a thousand. 1752 01:21:42,277 --> 01:21:44,112 I'd like to see that. 1753 01:21:44,195 --> 01:21:45,781 I don't think you would. 1754 01:21:46,907 --> 01:21:48,033 I would like to see that. 1755 01:21:48,116 --> 01:21:49,492 It gets quite ugly. 1756 01:21:49,576 --> 01:21:50,994 I-- I would I-- 1757 01:21:51,077 --> 01:21:53,246 You're making me want to see this even more. 1758 01:21:53,329 --> 01:21:55,290 I may be making you want to see it, 1759 01:21:55,373 --> 01:21:58,544 but trust me, once you saw it, you would be filled with regret. 1760 01:21:58,627 --> 01:22:00,003 No, no, no. 1761 01:22:00,086 --> 01:22:02,297 I've never-- I never regret anything. 1762 01:22:02,380 --> 01:22:03,799 Oh, well. 1763 01:22:03,882 --> 01:22:05,967 No regrets. That's my life motto. 1764 01:22:06,051 --> 01:22:07,594 That's one way to live, I suppose. 1765 01:22:07,678 --> 01:22:09,137 I certainly have regrets. 1766 01:22:09,220 --> 01:22:10,263 Oh, yeah? 1767 01:22:10,346 --> 01:22:11,807 Millions and millions. 1768 01:22:11,890 --> 01:22:13,308 Oh, man. 1769 01:22:13,391 --> 01:22:15,143 Maybe hundreds, I don't-- 1770 01:22:15,226 --> 01:22:16,603 I don't think I've been alive long enough 1771 01:22:16,687 --> 01:22:18,104 to have millions of regrets. 1772 01:22:18,188 --> 01:22:20,315 But this interview isn't about me. 1773 01:22:20,398 --> 01:22:22,400 -It's about you, Bruce. -That's right, it is. 1774 01:22:22,483 --> 01:22:23,819 So, no regrets? 1775 01:22:23,902 --> 01:22:24,945 No regrets. 1776 01:22:25,028 --> 01:22:26,321 I'm a lucky man. 1777 01:22:26,404 --> 01:22:27,989 Very fortunate. 1778 01:22:28,073 --> 01:22:30,784 I appreciate you letting us into your beautiful home here. 1779 01:22:30,867 --> 01:22:33,453 Oh, I-- no problem. Of course. Anytime. 1780 01:22:33,537 --> 01:22:34,538 It's not really my home. 1781 01:22:34,621 --> 01:22:36,873 It's James', the one with the novel. 1782 01:22:36,957 --> 01:22:39,209 Oh, I see. I see. 1783 01:22:39,292 --> 01:22:42,003 Did you ever read his book, Space in Tr-- 1784 01:22:42,087 --> 01:22:44,172 -Trains in Space? -Trains in Space. 1785 01:22:44,255 --> 01:22:46,299 I believe I've heard of it. 1786 01:22:46,382 --> 01:22:47,718 -Great book. -Is it? 1787 01:22:47,801 --> 01:22:49,135 -I never read it. -Oh, no. 1788 01:22:50,637 --> 01:22:51,930 -Well, that's all. -Don't tell him. 1789 01:22:52,013 --> 01:22:53,014 Don't tell anybody. 1790 01:22:53,098 --> 01:22:55,559 I have a feeling he's gonna see this interview. 1791 01:22:57,060 --> 01:22:59,730 I feel a lot of people are going to see this interview. 1792 01:22:59,813 --> 01:23:02,190 -I sure hope so. -I hope so, too. 1793 01:23:02,273 --> 01:23:03,650 I sure hope so. 1794 01:23:03,734 --> 01:23:06,111 Well, Ted, I've got to say, I have, you know, 1795 01:23:06,194 --> 01:23:07,946 I've been a fan of yours for a really long time. 1796 01:23:08,029 --> 01:23:11,407 And I-- I-- anytime you want to have me back on, 1797 01:23:11,491 --> 01:23:13,326 I'm-- I'm honored. 1798 01:23:13,409 --> 01:23:15,161 -Oh my goodness. Thank you. -I'm honored. 1799 01:23:15,245 --> 01:23:16,747 Thank you so much, Bruce. 1800 01:23:16,830 --> 01:23:20,667 I-- I don't often hear such words of sincere encouragement, 1801 01:23:20,751 --> 01:23:21,752 and I-- and I deeply appreciate it. 1802 01:23:21,835 --> 01:23:24,630 You know, there was a lot of people that wanted 1803 01:23:24,713 --> 01:23:26,256 to do this interview. 1804 01:23:26,339 --> 01:23:30,511 Phil Donahue, Geraldo Rivera, but I chose you, 1805 01:23:30,594 --> 01:23:34,139 because I love Channel 11 News. 1806 01:23:35,431 --> 01:23:38,143 Um, thank you. 1807 01:23:38,226 --> 01:23:42,898 Bruce, that is deeply moving to me that you would choose me 1808 01:23:42,981 --> 01:23:47,110 over such giants of the news business. 1809 01:23:47,193 --> 01:23:49,530 You, my friend, are a giant. 1810 01:23:52,741 --> 01:23:55,744 Oh, thank you, Bruce, um... 1811 01:23:56,828 --> 01:23:58,204 You okay there, Ted? 1812 01:23:58,288 --> 01:23:59,915 I think we're gonna have to cut.