1
00:00:14,003 --> 00:00:16,003
'In the UK today,

2
00:00:16,003 --> 00:00:19,003
'one in five people have a dispute
with their neighbour.'

3
00:00:19,003 --> 00:00:21,003
I am working from home!

4
00:00:21,003 --> 00:00:23,363
'These escalate...'
He threw the first one!

5
00:00:23,363 --> 00:00:26,003
'..turning quiet cul-de-sacs...'
Shut up! Aaah!

6
00:00:26,003 --> 00:00:28,003
'..into war zones...

7
00:00:28,003 --> 00:00:29,683
'and Victorian terraces...'

8
00:00:29,683 --> 00:00:33,003
These lights need to be taken down
this year!

9
00:00:33,003 --> 00:00:35,003
'..into battle grounds.

10
00:00:35,003 --> 00:00:38,003
'This is Deep Fake Neighbour Wars.

11
00:00:43,003 --> 00:00:47,003
'The city of Plymouth in Devon,
a holiday destination for some,

12
00:00:47,003 --> 00:00:49,843
'but for van driver Mark Wahlberg,

13
00:00:49,843 --> 00:00:52,523
'this city
has been home for six years.'

14
00:00:54,523 --> 00:00:56,003
I fuckin' love Plymouth, man.

15
00:00:56,003 --> 00:01:00,003
You've got Asdas, OK,
the Mayflower Steps...

16
00:01:00,003 --> 00:01:02,003
Plymouth Argyle, Cornwall.

17
00:01:03,003 --> 00:01:05,003
Let me tell you something
right now,

18
00:01:05,003 --> 00:01:08,003
I am an honorary Janner.
Come on, you Greens!

19
00:01:12,003 --> 00:01:15,003
'But Mark's poor physical health
holds him back.'

20
00:01:15,003 --> 00:01:19,003
Just give me two seconds.
You turn the camera off, that OK?

21
00:01:19,003 --> 00:01:21,003
All right. OK.

22
00:01:21,003 --> 00:01:23,003
Oh, no.

23
00:01:23,003 --> 00:01:26,003
Oh, no, what's happenin'?
What's goin' on here?

24
00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:28,003
Oh, just a few seconds ago I was
really happy, what's going on?

25
00:01:28,003 --> 00:01:29,683
Are you OK, Mark?

26
00:01:29,683 --> 00:01:31,683
I'm all right, I'm OK.

27
00:01:31,683 --> 00:01:34,003
Do you want your inhaler?
What?

28
00:01:34,003 --> 00:01:36,003
Do you want your inhaler?
No, I'm OK, what's...

29
00:01:36,003 --> 00:01:38,003
I told you, I'm OK, I'm all right.
OK.

30
00:01:38,003 --> 00:01:40,003
Yeah, I got asthma...

31
00:01:40,003 --> 00:01:42,203
which is aggravated
by a high pollen count.

32
00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:44,683
You know, the pollen,
it kills me, man.

33
00:01:44,683 --> 00:01:47,523
Yeah, the particles, they get in.
It's a real problem.

34
00:01:47,523 --> 00:01:50,003
So, what do you have to do
to keep healthy?

35
00:01:50,003 --> 00:01:53,003
Well, firstly, you know,
I have to keep the windows closed.

36
00:01:56,003 --> 00:01:58,003
Even if it's hot outside.

37
00:01:58,003 --> 00:02:02,003
Secondly, I gotta line the inside of
my nostrils with petroleum jelly.

38
00:02:02,003 --> 00:02:04,363
That's very important,
I gotta do that.

39
00:02:06,523 --> 00:02:09,203
That's a pain in the ass,
let me tell you that much.

40
00:02:11,003 --> 00:02:14,003
'Mark also suffers from
deep vein thrombosis,

41
00:02:14,003 --> 00:02:17,003
'and under doctor's orders,
exercises daily.'

42
00:02:17,003 --> 00:02:20,003
I didn't really
do any exercise before.

43
00:02:20,003 --> 00:02:22,843
But now I'm walkin' around,
lookin' after my legs.

44
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:25,003
Tryin' to be healthy here.

45
00:02:25,003 --> 00:02:29,003
But now when I go outside,
the pollen is killin' me here.

46
00:02:31,003 --> 00:02:35,003
'But Mark found the answer
when he began making his own honey.

47
00:02:37,003 --> 00:02:40,003
'Mark believes
the honey made by local bees

48
00:02:40,003 --> 00:02:44,003
'can alleviate allergic symptoms
that can bring on an asthma attack.'

49
00:02:45,003 --> 00:02:47,003
As soon as
I'm eatin' my own honey -

50
00:02:47,003 --> 00:02:50,003
Boom! My asthma's gone.

51
00:02:51,003 --> 00:02:52,843
Nature's fuckin' medicine.

52
00:02:56,003 --> 00:02:59,003
But then, all of a sudden...

53
00:02:59,003 --> 00:03:03,003
a swarm of wasps decided to show up.

54
00:03:03,003 --> 00:03:05,003
BUZZING
'In a matter of weeks

55
00:03:05,003 --> 00:03:07,003
'an army of wasps had invaded.

56
00:03:09,003 --> 00:03:12,003
'Unbeknown to Mark,
his neighbour Chris Rock,

57
00:03:12,003 --> 00:03:14,683
'had accumulated
a collection of pop cans

58
00:03:14,683 --> 00:03:18,003
'and now the sugar
was attracting the wasps.'

59
00:03:20,003 --> 00:03:24,003
Suddenly, he gradually...
just left all the cans there.

60
00:03:27,003 --> 00:03:30,003
'Mark soon became concerned
for the welfare of his bees,

61
00:03:30,003 --> 00:03:34,003
'so asked Chris to remove the cans,
but he refused.'

62
00:03:34,003 --> 00:03:37,003
And what's bad for bees? Wasps!

63
00:03:38,003 --> 00:03:41,003
They may look similar,
but they fuckin' hate each other.

64
00:03:43,003 --> 00:03:44,203
'Coming up...'

65
00:03:44,203 --> 00:03:49,003
Just... crushing... these... cans,
Marky Mark.

66
00:03:49,003 --> 00:03:53,003
'..tensions rise as Chris Rock
shows a can-do attitude.

67
00:04:01,003 --> 00:04:03,043
'We move now from England to Wales -

68
00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:06,003
'Whitchurch Village near Cardiff,

69
00:04:06,003 --> 00:04:10,003
'where Beyonce Knowles has lived
for four years at number four...

70
00:04:10,003 --> 00:04:13,003
'and juggles
a successful telesales job

71
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:16,003
'with being a mother,
whilst working from home.'

72
00:04:17,003 --> 00:04:20,003
I sell all kinda things
over the phone from home.

73
00:04:23,003 --> 00:04:27,003
Anything from home insurance
to bulk-buy nappies.

74
00:04:27,003 --> 00:04:29,003
I got a really good deal for you,

75
00:04:29,003 --> 00:04:31,003
you just stay on the line now
for five minutes,

76
00:04:31,003 --> 00:04:33,203
you just give me five minutes
of your time.

77
00:04:33,203 --> 00:04:35,003
It's the perfect job for me.

78
00:04:35,003 --> 00:04:39,003
And fits in with my husband,
who often isn't at home...

79
00:04:39,003 --> 00:04:41,003
He works in the fire service.

80
00:04:43,003 --> 00:04:46,683
"Whitschurch"
is such a nice place to live,

81
00:04:46,683 --> 00:04:49,363
with excellent local amenities.

82
00:04:49,363 --> 00:04:53,003
Do you know
the Llanishen leisure centre?

83
00:04:53,003 --> 00:04:56,003
Erm, I don't, no.

84
00:04:56,003 --> 00:04:58,003
They have a wave pool.

85
00:05:00,003 --> 00:05:02,003
I love wave pools.

86
00:05:04,003 --> 00:05:06,003
'One day, whilst working...'

87
00:05:06,003 --> 00:05:09,003
OK, Mr Simpson,
may I call you David?

88
00:05:09,003 --> 00:05:14,003
'..Beyonce heard a strange noise
coming from next door.'

89
00:05:14,003 --> 00:05:18,003
I was on a call,
and suddenly I got interrupted

90
00:05:18,003 --> 00:05:22,003
by this high-pitched whining noise
coming through the wall.

91
00:05:22,003 --> 00:05:24,003
HIGH-PITCHED WHINING

92
00:05:27,003 --> 00:05:29,003
It-It sounded like the purge.

93
00:05:31,003 --> 00:05:34,003
It affected my work.
It was constant.

94
00:05:34,003 --> 00:05:39,003
It was, like, a noise like...
HIGH-PITCHED: Beeeeee.

95
00:05:39,003 --> 00:05:41,003
Beeeeee.

96
00:05:41,003 --> 00:05:45,003
Byyeeu. Nnnnn. Veeee.

97
00:05:45,003 --> 00:05:48,003
'Beyonce decided to head next door

98
00:05:48,003 --> 00:05:51,003
'and speak to her friend
and neighbour, Billie Eilish,

99
00:05:51,003 --> 00:05:54,523
'to find out the source
of the unidentified racket.'

100
00:05:54,523 --> 00:05:57,003
I decided to go over
and knock on her door

101
00:05:57,003 --> 00:06:01,003
and I was like,
"Hey, girl, what was that noise?"

102
00:06:01,003 --> 00:06:05,003
I was just asking and she said,
"A vacuum cleaner."

103
00:06:05,003 --> 00:06:08,003
And I was like, "Child, please."

104
00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:16,003
That so-called vacuuming noise,
it kept happening and happening.

105
00:06:16,003 --> 00:06:19,003
And happening. And happening.

106
00:06:19,003 --> 00:06:21,003
And happening.

107
00:06:24,003 --> 00:06:27,003
That's a lot of vacuuming.
And I thought,

108
00:06:27,003 --> 00:06:31,003
"Girl, sooner or later you
ain't gonna have no carpets left."

109
00:06:33,003 --> 00:06:34,003
'But not long after,

110
00:06:34,003 --> 00:06:37,003
'Beyonce accepted a
package for Billie Eilish

111
00:06:37,003 --> 00:06:39,003
'and made an interesting discovery.'

112
00:06:41,363 --> 00:06:43,203
When I saw the wording,

113
00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:46,003
I put two and two together...

114
00:06:46,003 --> 00:06:47,043
and made business.

115
00:06:49,003 --> 00:06:52,003
Billie was running a business
from her house.

116
00:06:53,843 --> 00:06:56,003
So later,
I took the package round...

117
00:06:58,003 --> 00:07:02,003
..and I said to her, "Are you
running a business from your house?"

118
00:07:02,003 --> 00:07:06,003
And she said, "Yes, I'm running
a business from my house,

119
00:07:06,003 --> 00:07:09,003
"and it's none of your business."

120
00:07:09,003 --> 00:07:10,363
SHE SCOFFS

121
00:07:12,003 --> 00:07:15,003
Took the box
and slammed the door on my face.

122
00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:21,003
That's when I knew what I was
hearing through the partition...

123
00:07:21,003 --> 00:07:24,003
She was running
an illegal dentist shop in there.

124
00:07:24,003 --> 00:07:28,003
It all... made... sense!

125
00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:32,003
While I was trying
to get a sale off,

126
00:07:32,003 --> 00:07:33,523
she was getting plaque off.

127
00:07:36,003 --> 00:07:38,003
'Coming up...'
THEY CHANT

128
00:07:38,003 --> 00:07:41,683
'..it's fighting talk.'
I am working from home!

129
00:07:41,683 --> 00:07:43,003
I am working from home!

130
00:07:43,003 --> 00:07:45,003
I am working from home!

131
00:07:56,003 --> 00:07:57,003
'Back in Plymouth, Devon,

132
00:07:57,003 --> 00:08:01,003
'Mark Wahlberg's bees that were
literally helping to keep him alive

133
00:08:01,003 --> 00:08:05,003
'were under attack
from Chris Rock's wasps.

134
00:08:05,003 --> 00:08:08,003
'But aspiring strongman and waiter,
Chris Rock,

135
00:08:08,003 --> 00:08:10,043
'believes Mark was the one
responsible

136
00:08:10,043 --> 00:08:12,843
'for starting the dispute.'

137
00:08:14,203 --> 00:08:18,683
I've been trainin' to be a strongman

138
00:08:18,683 --> 00:08:22,003
since... March 2022.

139
00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:26,003
I wanted to get strong
and look after myself.

140
00:08:31,003 --> 00:08:35,003
One day I'm training
and one of his bees stung me.

141
00:08:36,043 --> 00:08:39,003
On the ear - right here.

142
00:08:42,003 --> 00:08:45,003
I can't even do my signature
military bench press.

143
00:08:45,003 --> 00:08:47,003
I can't get, hah, full extension,
you know -

144
00:08:47,003 --> 00:08:49,003
haargh!
See what I'm talking about? Aaargh!

145
00:08:50,203 --> 00:08:53,003
It really affected
my strongman training,

146
00:08:53,003 --> 00:08:55,003
I was always
just a little bit scared

147
00:08:55,003 --> 00:08:59,523
of when I was gonna be attacked.
You can't pump iron scared.

148
00:08:59,523 --> 00:09:03,003
So why did you leave
all the cans out, Chris?

149
00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:09,003
Originally... I said
it was me saving 'em to recycle,

150
00:09:09,003 --> 00:09:12,003
you know, "Save the planet, Janet!",
all that.

151
00:09:12,003 --> 00:09:15,523
So, did you leave the cans out
to attract wasps,

152
00:09:15,523 --> 00:09:17,003
if you're being honest?
Yeah!

153
00:09:17,003 --> 00:09:19,003
Wasps are aggressive toward bees.

154
00:09:19,003 --> 00:09:23,003
I knew they'd drive 'em out
and I have my outdoor gym area back.

155
00:09:24,003 --> 00:09:27,003
Becoming a UK Strongman contender,
you need confidence,

156
00:09:27,003 --> 00:09:30,683
and I did not have that
when I was under attack.

157
00:09:34,003 --> 00:09:36,003
BUZZING

158
00:09:43,003 --> 00:09:48,003
'Chris Rock was forced to pump iron
in his cramped kitchen.'

159
00:09:48,003 --> 00:09:51,003
Yeah. Hold on.

160
00:09:51,003 --> 00:09:55,003
'But Chris's plan to use wasps
to drive out Mark's bees

161
00:09:55,003 --> 00:09:56,003
'had started to work.'

162
00:09:57,843 --> 00:09:59,003
Come here,
I wanna show you somethin'.

163
00:09:59,003 --> 00:10:02,003
You can see
how close the gardens are.

164
00:10:02,003 --> 00:10:04,003
And all his cans
are right there next to the hive.

165
00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:07,003
So when I came over to get honey,
I was usually getting two jars,

166
00:10:07,003 --> 00:10:10,203
but when the wasps came,
I was only getting half a jar.

167
00:10:10,203 --> 00:10:12,843
That's not enough for my asthma.

168
00:10:12,843 --> 00:10:14,003
Which meant I couldn't go outside.

169
00:10:14,003 --> 00:10:17,003
And which also meant...
my deep vein thrombosis flared up.

170
00:10:19,003 --> 00:10:23,003
I was getting it from both sides.
Here and here.

171
00:10:23,003 --> 00:10:27,003
'Mark contacted the council
to complain about Chris's cans.

172
00:10:27,003 --> 00:10:31,003
'The council instructed Chris to
dispose of his cans within 28 days.'

173
00:10:36,043 --> 00:10:39,363
CLATTERING
What?!

174
00:10:41,523 --> 00:10:44,043
Chris!
Chris, what are you doing, man?

175
00:10:44,043 --> 00:10:47,003
Stop!
Stop doing what you're doing.

176
00:10:47,003 --> 00:10:49,003
It's twelve thirty at night.

177
00:10:49,003 --> 00:10:51,003
Come on, be a good neighbour,
come on.

178
00:10:51,003 --> 00:10:53,003
I gotta pee in four hours,
it's very important for me, Chris,

179
00:10:53,003 --> 00:10:56,003
you're really upsetting me here.
Come on, I need my four hours.

180
00:10:56,003 --> 00:10:57,523
I gotta get up, I...
I gotta urinate.

181
00:10:57,523 --> 00:11:01,523
Just... crushing... these cans,
Marky Mark.

182
00:11:01,523 --> 00:11:05,003
Don't... wanna... miss...
the deadline.

183
00:11:05,003 --> 00:11:09,003
Oh, come on, man, it's too late for
you to do that. Come on, Chris.

184
00:11:09,003 --> 00:11:12,003
I can't believe this.
What's he doing?

185
00:11:15,203 --> 00:11:18,003
I thought that was the end of it,
I really did.

186
00:11:18,003 --> 00:11:20,003
But then...

187
00:11:20,003 --> 00:11:22,003
we discovered a wasp's...

188
00:11:22,003 --> 00:11:24,003
nest.

189
00:11:26,003 --> 00:11:29,003
'With a large colony of wasps
now in the garden,

190
00:11:29,003 --> 00:11:31,843
'Chris was forced
to stay inside the house,

191
00:11:31,843 --> 00:11:33,003
'unable to train.

192
00:11:34,003 --> 00:11:36,043
'A prisoner of his own making,

193
00:11:36,043 --> 00:11:41,683
'Chris's kitchen was too small to
accommodate his strongman training.'

194
00:11:41,683 --> 00:11:45,523
You better believe it, the wasps,
they gave me some justice.

195
00:11:45,523 --> 00:11:47,003
Nature's justice.

196
00:11:48,003 --> 00:11:52,003
'Coming up,
Chris goes to war on nature.'

197
00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:54,003
It is extremely difficult

198
00:11:54,003 --> 00:11:56,843
to operate a spray can
with socks on your hands.

199
00:11:56,843 --> 00:12:01,003
Aaaargh!

200
00:12:10,203 --> 00:12:14,683
'In Cardiff, Beyonce Knowles's world
had been turned upside down

201
00:12:14,683 --> 00:12:18,683
'by strange noises coming from
Billie Eilish's house next door.

202
00:12:18,683 --> 00:12:22,683
'Beyonce decided
to document things.'

203
00:12:22,683 --> 00:12:25,003
HIGH-PITCHED WHINING

204
00:12:27,003 --> 00:12:30,003
That is the sound
reverberating through the wall

205
00:12:30,003 --> 00:12:33,003
of my next door neighbour
Billie Eilish,

206
00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:36,043
using some kind of a...
dentist-al equipment.

207
00:12:36,043 --> 00:12:39,843
HIGH-PITCHED WHINING
How many times today?

208
00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:42,003
HIGH-PITCHED WHINING
SLOWS AND STOPS

209
00:12:42,003 --> 00:12:43,003
38.

210
00:12:45,003 --> 00:12:48,683
'Up until recently,
Beyonce and neighbour Billie Eilish,

211
00:12:48,683 --> 00:12:50,203
'had been firm friends.

212
00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:52,003
'Beyonce was a regular
at Billie's house

213
00:12:52,003 --> 00:12:56,003
'for a weekly meet-up,
nicknamed Mummy Mondays.'

214
00:12:56,003 --> 00:12:59,003
Hey, Gwyneth, quit filming!
On it.

215
00:12:59,003 --> 00:13:03,003
'Held every Monday at Billie's, this
group of mums would get together,

216
00:13:03,003 --> 00:13:05,003
'have a cuppa, a chat and a laugh.'

217
00:13:05,003 --> 00:13:07,203
I'm not shaking it off.
You are.

218
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:10,043
I'm not shaking it off!
Girl, you got it.

219
00:13:10,043 --> 00:13:13,003
I used to love Mommy Mondays.

220
00:13:13,003 --> 00:13:16,043
No divas, no drama,
just moms hanging out,

221
00:13:16,043 --> 00:13:20,043
talking, laughing, whatever.
But then this one Mommy Mondays,

222
00:13:20,043 --> 00:13:23,003
Beyonce gets all up in my face

223
00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:26,003
and is accusing me of running
a back-alley dentistry.

224
00:13:26,003 --> 00:13:30,003
A totally false allegation,
because I'm not a dentist,

225
00:13:30,003 --> 00:13:31,003
I'm a dental hygienist.

226
00:13:33,003 --> 00:13:35,003
So different.

227
00:13:35,003 --> 00:13:38,003
'Billie had bought some second-hand
dental equipment online,

228
00:13:38,003 --> 00:13:39,003
'set it up at home,

229
00:13:39,003 --> 00:13:43,003
'and had been cleaning
between ten and 15 mouths a week.'

230
00:13:43,003 --> 00:13:45,003
You're doing good.

231
00:13:48,003 --> 00:13:50,363
All right, let's get you there.

232
00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:53,003
I clean people's teeth
in my kitchen.

233
00:13:54,043 --> 00:13:56,523
It's cheaper
than going to the dentist,

234
00:13:56,523 --> 00:13:58,843
you just get charged too much.

235
00:13:58,843 --> 00:14:01,003
I was helping people out,
and Beyonce didn't like that,

236
00:14:01,003 --> 00:14:04,003
so, Mommy Mondays stopped...

237
00:14:04,003 --> 00:14:06,003
cos the moms just found
the situation too tense.

238
00:14:06,003 --> 00:14:07,843
They just stopped showing up.

239
00:14:09,203 --> 00:14:14,523
'A few months later, Billy received
a letter from the council...

240
00:14:14,523 --> 00:14:18,003
'stating she would need to register
the business at the property

241
00:14:18,003 --> 00:14:19,203
'to continue trading.'

242
00:14:19,203 --> 00:14:23,003
Bro, it was a kick in the teeth,
literally.

243
00:14:23,003 --> 00:14:25,003
But I got over it.

244
00:14:25,003 --> 00:14:28,003
I'm not gonna let her mess up
what I had going on.

245
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:32,003
Bro, this music is good.

246
00:14:32,003 --> 00:14:37,003
So I started up a new meet-up group
called Tapas Tuesdays,

247
00:14:37,003 --> 00:14:39,843
with the other moms,
we'd meet in the garden,

248
00:14:39,843 --> 00:14:42,003
eat Spanish food and it was good.

249
00:14:42,003 --> 00:14:44,683
I love learning about
Spanish culture.

250
00:14:44,683 --> 00:14:48,003
'Coming up, Tapas Tuesday group

251
00:14:48,003 --> 00:14:50,003
'get a lesson in self-defence.'

252
00:14:50,003 --> 00:14:52,683
THEY CHANT

253
00:14:59,003 --> 00:15:02,203
'Back in Plymouth,
Chris Rock had been locked inside

254
00:15:02,203 --> 00:15:05,003
'by the wasps
he had himself attracted.

255
00:15:05,003 --> 00:15:08,003
'But everything
was about to come to a head.'

256
00:15:08,003 --> 00:15:12,003
I wanted...
I wanted to put up this,

257
00:15:12,003 --> 00:15:16,003
so I'm standing over there
and I start drillin'.

258
00:15:16,003 --> 00:15:20,523
And then before I know it,
the drill goes in real deep,

259
00:15:20,523 --> 00:15:23,003
I got a big hole
and I just hear some buzzin'.

260
00:15:24,683 --> 00:15:27,003
And then the whole room
started filling with wasps.

261
00:15:29,003 --> 00:15:31,003
'Chris had drilled
all the way through the wall

262
00:15:31,003 --> 00:15:33,523
'and into the wasps' nest
on the other side.'

263
00:15:33,523 --> 00:15:36,523
It was like being on the highway
during rush hour.

264
00:15:36,523 --> 00:15:38,043
They were everywhere.

265
00:15:40,003 --> 00:15:42,203
So I get my bearings
and I skedaddle.

266
00:15:48,003 --> 00:15:51,003
'At that very moment,
Mark was returning home.'

267
00:15:51,003 --> 00:15:53,003
So I was coming back from the shop
to get some honey for my asthma,

268
00:15:53,003 --> 00:15:55,523
and Chris is running outside,
crying,

269
00:15:55,523 --> 00:15:59,003
"We got a wasp situation.
We got a wasp situation.

270
00:15:59,003 --> 00:16:00,843
"What am I gonna do?"

271
00:16:00,843 --> 00:16:04,683
And I was just like, "I don't know,
empty a can of wasp spray into it?"

272
00:16:05,843 --> 00:16:07,003
I was just joking...

273
00:16:07,003 --> 00:16:10,003
but that crazy son of a bitch,
he went for it.

274
00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:13,003
Every single part of my body
was covered and safe.

275
00:16:13,003 --> 00:16:17,003
I was confident my makeshift armour
will withstand an attack,

276
00:16:17,003 --> 00:16:21,003
so, I ran over and emptied
the whole can into the nest.

277
00:16:21,003 --> 00:16:27,003
Aaargh!

278
00:16:31,003 --> 00:16:34,003
Chris,
how many times were you stung? 24!

279
00:16:36,003 --> 00:16:42,003
I hear this commotion and Chris
is all there like, "Uuurrgh!"

280
00:16:42,003 --> 00:16:44,003
He hands me his car keys
and he says...

281
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:47,203
AS CHRIS:
"Please, take me to the hospital!"

282
00:16:47,203 --> 00:16:50,003
BEEPING
So I drove him to the hospital.

283
00:16:50,003 --> 00:16:52,003
I'm OK.

284
00:16:52,003 --> 00:16:55,003
I was just attacked 24 times,
and I would've died

285
00:16:55,003 --> 00:16:57,003
if it had not have been for
this fine human being

286
00:16:57,003 --> 00:16:58,843
sat right here beside me.

287
00:17:00,003 --> 00:17:02,363
I had you wrong all along,
Marky Mark.

288
00:17:02,363 --> 00:17:04,203
That's-That's OK, Chris,
it's all... Aaargh.

289
00:17:04,203 --> 00:17:07,003
Sorry, sorry. Sorry about that.

290
00:17:09,003 --> 00:17:14,003
'Mark went back to making honey,
but with an unlikely assistant.'

291
00:17:14,003 --> 00:17:16,003
Make sure you get that jar in shot,
Chris.

292
00:17:16,003 --> 00:17:18,003
There you go. There you go.

293
00:17:36,003 --> 00:17:38,003
'In Whitchurch, Cardiff,

294
00:17:38,003 --> 00:17:42,003
'the friendship between neighbours
Beyonce Knowles and Billie Eilish

295
00:17:42,003 --> 00:17:45,003
'have become strained
over a noise dispute.

296
00:17:45,003 --> 00:17:48,003
'And now, with no invite to
Billie's regular Tapas Tuesdays,

297
00:17:48,003 --> 00:17:51,003
'the gap between them had widened.'

298
00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:52,043
I didn't invite Beyonce

299
00:17:52,043 --> 00:17:56,003
because of the bad vibes
she was creating in Mommy Mondays.

300
00:17:56,003 --> 00:17:59,003
And then she started
causing problems over the fence,

301
00:17:59,003 --> 00:18:01,003
which was screwing up
my Tapas Tuesdays.

302
00:18:01,003 --> 00:18:04,843
Ho. Ho! Ho! Ha!
Hee!

303
00:18:04,843 --> 00:18:08,003
I hadn't really noticed
there were extra cars on Tuesdays

304
00:18:08,003 --> 00:18:11,003
because I had taken on
a taekwondo student.

305
00:18:11,003 --> 00:18:15,003
And a one, and a two.
That's it, go, girl.

306
00:18:15,003 --> 00:18:18,003
My friend Priyanka,
had asked for tuition

307
00:18:18,003 --> 00:18:21,003
and we were just doing some drills
in the garden.

308
00:18:22,003 --> 00:18:25,003
'Beyonce Knowles had begun teaching
Priyanka Chopra

309
00:18:25,003 --> 00:18:28,523
'the martial art of taekwondo
in her back garden.

310
00:18:28,523 --> 00:18:32,003
'But it clashed with
next door's Tapas Tuesdays.

311
00:18:33,683 --> 00:18:36,003
'These women were there that day

312
00:18:36,003 --> 00:18:40,683
'but only agreed to speak to us
if we kept their identities secret.'

313
00:18:40,683 --> 00:18:44,003
So, we hear all this grunting
coming over the fence.

314
00:18:44,003 --> 00:18:45,003
We were like, "OK",

315
00:18:45,003 --> 00:18:47,843
but Billie turned up
the Spanish music to drown them out.

316
00:18:47,843 --> 00:18:50,683
Yeah. Then Beyonce
turned hers up a bit louder,

317
00:18:50,683 --> 00:18:53,523
then Billie retaliated
by turning hers up to the max,

318
00:18:53,523 --> 00:18:55,683
and then Beyonce went louder again.

319
00:18:55,683 --> 00:18:58,003
Mmm.
Yeah. Mm-hm.

320
00:18:59,003 --> 00:19:01,043
Like, really awkward.
Right.

321
00:19:01,043 --> 00:19:05,003
Absolutely mental,
I filmed it all on my phone. Mm-hm.

322
00:19:05,003 --> 00:19:09,843
Yeah, girl. What is that sound?

323
00:19:09,843 --> 00:19:15,003
She had her hi-fi speaker pumping
out some mystical stuff, real loud.

324
00:19:15,003 --> 00:19:17,003
Oh, what? What is that?

325
00:19:17,003 --> 00:19:21,003
I had decided to introduce some
Korean music into the lesson

326
00:19:21,003 --> 00:19:26,003
to focus the mind and create
a calm learning environment.

327
00:19:26,003 --> 00:19:28,003
I am working from home!

328
00:19:28,003 --> 00:19:30,523
So was I, I'm a dental hygienist.

329
00:19:30,523 --> 00:19:33,003
You're a dentist school dropout!

330
00:19:33,003 --> 00:19:35,003
Come on, ladies,
can we please talk this through?

331
00:19:35,003 --> 00:19:37,003
I am working from home!

332
00:19:37,003 --> 00:19:39,003
'With the noise
at ridiculous levels...'

333
00:19:39,003 --> 00:19:41,043
I'm working from home!
I'm working from home!

334
00:19:41,043 --> 00:19:43,003
'..somebody called the police.'

335
00:19:43,003 --> 00:19:47,003
I hear you, bro!
Search them all for evidence.

336
00:19:50,003 --> 00:19:52,003
I decided to fight fire with fire...

337
00:19:53,523 --> 00:19:56,003
I guess it wasn't the right way
to deal with it.

338
00:19:56,003 --> 00:20:01,003
And I know I went too far,
but... we both did.

339
00:20:01,003 --> 00:20:03,003
It must've been the music...

340
00:20:03,003 --> 00:20:04,523
and Spanish wine.
Mm.

341
00:20:05,843 --> 00:20:08,003
But we have
some successful results now.

342
00:20:08,003 --> 00:20:09,203
Yellow.

343
00:20:12,003 --> 00:20:14,003
'Since the dispute's culmination,

344
00:20:14,003 --> 00:20:17,003
'Beyonce now teaches Priyanka
at a different location.'

345
00:20:17,003 --> 00:20:19,003
I've known Priyanka
for a few months,

346
00:20:19,003 --> 00:20:21,003
she works at
the leisure centre too.

347
00:20:21,003 --> 00:20:25,003
I'm a lifeguard...
on the big pool for adults.

348
00:20:25,003 --> 00:20:28,003
And Beyonce here
is teaching me to kick ass.

349
00:20:28,003 --> 00:20:32,003
Well, self-defence really
but, yeah, she could kick your ass.

350
00:20:32,003 --> 00:20:34,003
And-And now,
as well as Taekwondo Tuesdays,

351
00:20:34,003 --> 00:20:37,003
we do Wasabi Wednesdays.
Ho ho ho.

352
00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:41,003
Erm, so what do you both
get up to on a Friday?

353
00:20:41,003 --> 00:20:43,683
None of your business.

354
00:20:43,683 --> 00:20:47,843
'Billie has now moved her business
into the garden,

355
00:20:47,843 --> 00:20:50,003
'to keep her noise to a minimum.'

356
00:20:50,003 --> 00:20:52,003
CHAIR WHIRRS AND CREAKS

357
00:21:22,843 --> 00:21:26,003
'Next time
on Deep Fake Neighbour Wars...

358
00:21:26,003 --> 00:21:30,003
'Tom Holland and Nicki Minaj
find an unwelcome visitor.'

359
00:21:30,003 --> 00:21:33,003
Get the fuck off my roof, Mark!

360
00:21:33,003 --> 00:21:37,843
'And Matthew McConaughey's tree
pushes Dua Lipa to breaking point.'

361
00:21:37,843 --> 00:21:40,003
I don't care!
I'm sick of it!